The Joe Rogan Experience - #728 - Ceara Lynch

Episode Date: November 27, 2015

Ceara Lynch is a professional humiliatrix and fetish video producer, and she also has a documentary coming soon called "Ruin Me" https://www.facebook.com/ruinmemovie/ http://www.cearalynch.com/

Yee-haw! We're live. So, Ciara. Am I saying it right? Ciara, right? Ciara. Ciara? Yeah. Okay. Close enough. It's like Chandra Chandra, right? Yeah, exactly.

Ciara. If you had to describe your occupation to someone, how would you describe it? In one word, I would say humiliatrix. See, this is what I learned about you from my friend Chris Ryan. He told me, you've got to get this girl on. You've got to talk to her. And then I went to your Twitter page. And your Twitter page is filled with some hilarious stuff.

Like one of them is about you sending poop through the mail. And then it was like one of the only times the post office opened up your box. They tried to. I asked them not to and they respected that. Why did they want to open up your box anyway? Well, I put it in a box of a very expensive camera that I had. And so when they asked me, like, what is this? I was like, oh, it's the camera.

And so like, well, how much was it? And it's like, well, I got $900. And so they're like, oh, we'll have to repackage this. And then she's like getting her knife ready or razor ready to open it up. And I'm like, oh, well, we'll have to repackage this. And then she's, like, getting her, like, knife ready or razor ready to open it up. And I'm like, oh, no, it's fine. You can just leave it as is. And she's like, well, if it gets broken, it's your responsibility and all this. And I'm like, it's fine.

It's okay. And there was more than just poo in there. There was, like, piss. There was toenail clippings. There was a vial of my spit. Like, this guy had a whole like value package for me how did how the fuck did you get started in this business you seem like a fairly normal person uh granted i've only met you for a very short amount of time but you seem

completely normal uh-huh um it's a it's a really good story um i was 17 years old at the time and i was traveling abroad i was actually exchange student in j time and I was traveling abroad. I was actually an exchange student in Japan. And I was really lonely. Like I stayed with a host family and I didn't know any Japanese and I didn't know anyone that spoke English. And so I was online just all the time. Like, you know, I mean, this is kind of before MySpace or Facebook or anything like that. But I'd go to different like social networking sites and talk to people. And one day this guy starts talk to people and um one

day this guy starts talking to me and he's a total pervert he he's like into uh getting peed on and he really has a thing for like pantyhose and and so he strikes up a conversation with me because he just thinks I'm very attractive and all this and I was kind of like grossed out by him but intrigued at the same time, you know. And so I was like, OK, I'm talking to a guy online. He can't do anything to me. So I kept the, you know, lines of communication open and we'd talk here and there. And he always tried to convince me to meet him.

He really wanted me to pee on him and stuff like that. And I was like, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. And I kept turning him down. And then one day he was like, all right, I get it. You're not going to meet me. But I just I think your piss should be bottled and sold. And I was like, all right, buy it then. Like, I didn't think he was serious.

I was like, yeah, this guy's full of shit. But I was like, fine, buy it. And he did. He bought a 12-ounce bottle just like this of my urine for $250. Did you specify the ounces that it had to be? I don't think so, no. I think just a bottle is what we said. Just a bottle.

Yeah. Right. And, yeah, from there I was like, oh, there has to be more guys like this. Like, this guy found me on accident. Like, this was just a mistake. Like, what would, there has to be more guys like this. This guy found me on accident. This was just a mistake. What would happen if I went looking for guys like this? Like if you promoted it? Yeah, or kind of sought it out.

So I was like, okay, I've heard of women selling their used panties before. I know that's a thing. And so I started searching to see if there was a website that I could be on or something that catered to that. And, uh, and I did, I found this auction site that's just like eBay, but it specializes in like use panties or socks or pantyhose or anything like a woman can wear, can auction on this site. And, uh, so I was like, Oh, this, yeah, this is it. I'm doing this. And, uh, I just started selling all sorts of stuff and I've sold anything you can imagine. I've sold like my shit, my piss, tampons, like hair from my hairbrush, my bathroom trash.

What is like hair from your hairbrush go for? How much can you sell that for? I've only sold it once. I think I sold it for like a hundred bucks. Versus like a good log. Well, the thing about my shit is it's kind of an interesting story so when i first started a guy wanted to buy my shit and i was like yeah i just want to do this because i think it's a well i mean obviously the money but i think it's an interesting story and so this

guy bought my shit for like a hundred dollars and after that i knew there you know i'm like i'm just gonna sell my panties it's kind of gross I don't want to like always sell my shit. Anyways, fast forward to this year. And meanwhile, guys have always asked to buy my shit. But I'm just like, I always gave them just the most large, absurd number, like price-wise. And they'd always be like, what the fuck? No. It didn't matter to me because I was making money otherwise.

But someone took me up on my offer recently for $4,000 to buy my shit. And he's since bought it two other times this year. So I've made a grand total of $12,000 off my shit. Now, do you pay taxes on this? Should you be saying this? I pay my taxes, yeah. Okay. So what do you list under occupation?

I have a really good accountant that kind of takes care of all that. Shit slinger? Well, most of my money comes from, like, I make fetish videos and stuff like that. So, like, video producer. So this is just ice cream. Just whipped cream, rather. For lack of a better term, yeah. Cherry on top, whatever.

So you started from this one guy, essentially. This one guy sort of fueled your imagination. Yeah, whatever. So, so you started from this one guy, essentially this one guy sort of fueled your imagination. Yeah. Yeah. So I started selling tangible things. And then from there, I figured out how to open up, um, like my own phone lines where I would get paid per minute, like, like a phone sex operator, but I wasn't like talking sexy to guys. I kept getting fetish guys that were really submissive and just wanted me to berate them and talk shit to them. And so did you seek these guys out or did they, um, it just kind of was the path that I ended up taking. Cause I, I just, I started out doing this fetishy thing. And so, um, so that's just kind of, was it because of like your attitude towards people that wanted to buy your shit and your panties? Like you fucking losers. Here it is. Was it,

was it that or like, no, I think I, I think naturally guys that want to buy your shit and your panties. Like, you fucking losers. Here it is. Was it that? No, I think naturally guys that want to buy that sort of thing want that kind of treatment. So I would get guys wanting me to treat them that way. Just like, you know, I'm such a lowly loser and I want to be your pathetic little toilet mistress and that sort of thing. Wow. Yeah.

And then it was like when I knew I could go about the sex industry in this way, I was like, oh, I want to do it. I want to do that because, I mean, I tell people what I do for a living. I'm pretty open and honest about it. And for the most part, people think it's really cool. And I don't think I would get the same response if I were a stripper or something like that, which I don't think there's anything wrong with being a stripper. But a lot of people do, and there and there's less stigma associated with it. So it's like, I kind of found this weird loophole in the sex industry where. Right.

Does that make sense? Because it's so odd and because you seem to be in control. Yeah. Exactly. That kind of makes sense. Yeah. But this is a gig where do you have an exit strategy? Like, do you look at the future and go, I'll fucking shit in buckets forever.

I'm good. I shit every day. I sell my shit. As long as I keep friends with these assholes, we got 12 grand a year easy. Yeah. Well, I mean. From one guy. I'll do it.

I always said I'll do it as long as it makes sense to do it, which is kind of, you know, open-ended. Right. But I try and be smart with my money. You know, I own a couple houses back in portland and you know i paid for my education and that sort of thing so i just i try and save as much as possible because i don't think i'm gonna be making as much money as i do now the rest of my life yeah well there's probably gonna be a drop off when you hit like 60 60 year old shit's not

worth what 28 year old shit is that gilf shit gilf there's something about That Gilf shit. Gilf. There's something about Gilf. Milf is still hot, but Gilf is like, maybe you should leave her alone. So do you have a thought process as far as like, okay, what is my... Is that all you do? Do you have another gig? No, that's it. This has been my only job for over 10 years now. Oh my God.

Whoa, it would be so hard for you to work a regular job. I know. Especially to make... Think about how much you can make by shitting into a Tupperware container. And now think about how long you would have to work in an office to make four grand. Yeah, like two months. A month at least, right? Like a good office job is 50 grand a year, right?

That's a good office job. Yeah, that's a good living. Yeah. That's a thousand bucks a week, but you got to pay taxes. Right. So the taxes chop it away. So to actually get four grand. Yeah.

Oh my God. I think about that a lot because I'm very spoiled and I realize that. That's a stripper issue too, right? Yeah. It's always a stripper issue. Or, like, athlete issue. Yeah. Like, anything where, like, you're making a lot of money in a short amount of time.

Yeah, especially, like, athletes or, you know, like, when it's over, it's fucking over. Yeah. There's no, you know... It's like these Allen Iverson characters that make hundreds of millions of dollars and just eat through all of it and just never plan on it ending or having some sort of a right strategy to continue it yeah so you're just gonna just ride that bitch right into the rocks yeah that's pretty much the plan keep the throttle pegged i mean it hasn't it hasn't like gone down like i continue to make more money well you're still young and pretty. Yeah, exactly.

How old are you now? I'm 29. Yeah, so you've got a solid 10 years before it starts getting really weird. Yeah. You know? When you're like 40 and you're still shitting into buckets, people are going to be like, hey, you know, maybe you should not do that. Or who knows?

Why not? Why not? If you're doing it now, if you enjoy doing it now. Yeah, it's great. It's, it's, then why stop?

Why am I talking about? Why don't I just shut the fuck up? Yeah, shut up. I'm just thinking about your demise. Like, why should I concentrate on these terrible aspects of your job? It's hard not to.

It's just so strange. It's all kind of terrible. Well, it's strange, but it's also like, this is not normally like an interview that I would pursue, but Chris kept insisting that you were like really intelligent and interesting.

And you're like, he's like, she's got a very unique take on it. Like it's not just that she's doing this, but she's just like a normal person that, well, this is better than working as a waitress. Yeah. This is better. Oh, it's great. I mean, I work for myself and so, you know, I make my own hours and travel a lot. I'm actually traveling. I'm taking off to Southeast Asia after a few days in LA.

What do you do in Asia? Shit on people? Do you have a guy there waiting? No. I'm just backpacking. Just traveling. Oh, okay. Just living my life.

So you're just doing that for non-work? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Now, while you're there, do you non-work yeah yeah exactly now while you're there do you work do you have like if you have an internet connection um what i do is because um my bread and butter right now are my videos um i just shot a ton like um kind of october and september and all that i just shot a bunch so i i'm all set up through february with my videos and they just automatically oh so you banked them. Yeah, exactly. Okay. And so how often do you release videos? Um, like five days a week. And when you

do them, do you do them specifically for individuals or do you do them for the public? Like what do you do? Kind of both. A lot of them are custom videos. So guys will, um, you know, send me their fantasy and, um, you know, I'll, i'll charge them and make the video and then i also release that to the public as well so like what's a typical fantasy that a guy will will call you up hi my name is doug i'm a fucking loser if you do me a favor make a video about how you want to piss in my mouth like how does that work um god there's so many um i'll i'll touch on a more recent one. I had this guy.

He's bought for me pretty regularly, and all of his fantasies involve being in the dungeon and male chastity. Have you seen male chastity devices? No. I'm not sure if I want to. It's basically like a cock cage. Don't like those words together. Yeah. Cock and cage. So you put your dick in this little cage

and you put like a little padlock on it to lock him up. And then like, you know, the woman, the dominatrix or whatever, will wear the key. And it's all about just kind of teasing this guy who can't touch himself or get hard really. Yeah, there we go. Okay. So what we're looking at for people who are

listening to this if you would describe it you would describe it as there's a couple different kinds yeah some metal ones some plastic ones some of them spikes inside do they to hurt the dick yeah they start swelling up so if they get aroused it's painful for them yeah do they take it off and they're bleeding and stuff? Well, I mean, it depends. If the woman has the key to it, she decides when to unlock it, basically. So do you do only videos or do you do one-on-ones with these guys?

No, I don't meet anyone in person. It's all online. And all my videos, I should specify, are point of view. So I'm talking to the camera so the guy feels like I'm talking to him. So this video, I'm describing this him. So this video I'm describing this guy. He has this fetish for

chastity so I have one of these little devices and I'll unlock it and I'll show it to the camera and I'll kind of move my hand in pretending I'm putting it on him and then I lock him up and then I tease him. Jamie, scroll up to the upper right hand corner. Upper right. Above that. Right above that.

Right above that. What the fuck is that? Oh, that looks like it goes in your ass. Yes. This is a giant Christmas tree-looking thing that goes in your ass, and it's connected to one of those cock holsters. Oh, my God. Yeah, it looks like it must strap you in there. You can't get it off.

Yeah, you've got this pole in your ass, and then your dick is locked up in a cage. Wonderful. What a great idea. This is ridiculous. Yeah. So this one specific... Oh, that's so cool.

I like that. You like that? I don't know. It's different. That looks like it's for a girl. Yeah. It looks like female chastity. And so there's a whole fetish that goes along with this, right?

Yeah. The woman being in control. Right. And kind of decides like when the man can be released. So how do you do that in a video, though, if the guy's nowhere near you? So like I said, I'll be looking at the camera and I'm talking to the camera. So I'm talking directly to the slave and I'll take the little chastity vice and I'll kind of like go into the camera

pretending I'm putting it on him. And then from there, it's mostly just kind of like a tease show where, you know, I like rub my boobs together and like talk all seductively. And so the viewer is watching it as though I'm like seducing them. The video I'm thinking of in particular

is pretty morbid. So his fantasy is in this dungeon and I lock him up and I have this nurse outfit and I'm his nurse. And I talk about how I'm going to train him to serve me orally. But what I do to – so he can do this. God, what was it? I had to at first remove all his teeth because I didn't want any teeth on my pussy. So you banged his teeth out?

Yeah. Or I'm just talking about it, you know? So he wanted me to talk about, you know, taking all his teeth out. He wanted this. This is like his suggestion. This is what he jerks off to. I don't know if he, probably not in real life now. And he wanted a couple clamps in his ears to be steered, you know?

And then he wanted me to tell him that his vocal cords would be removed because i didn't want to hear him complaining and whoa yeah this guy fucking hates himself well it's funny because he he was like could you do it in a very like sweet sort of way like he didn't want me to be like real mean mistress like he wanted me to be like that kind of juxtaposition of like i'm really sweet but i'm doing all these terrible things too whoa yeah now what do you find that there's a stereotypical occupation or a type of guy who wants this sort of treatment i think i see where you might be going with this i i get all sorts of guys i think there's this like um kind of cliche that they're all these high-powered ceos that want to be dominated I don't think that's the case. I talk to all walks of life, like young, old, rich, poor, like all sorts of guys. So it's just a fan.

It's like a foot thing. Yeah. Like just there's this thing, like a humiliation thing that some guys just have that gene or whatever it is. Yeah. I don't know if it's a gene, but. It's definitely not. Yeah.

You know, I'm just. Yeah, there's not that thing. Have you ever tried to figure out where it comes from? Have you ever, like, been, like... Because I would assume that, like, from the first time on, this guy's like, you know, you should so much bottle your piss, you know? He'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.

Like, have you ever tried to figure out, like, what is wrong with these people or right? You know, whatever. Yeah. Depending on your perspective. tried to figure out like what is wrong with these people or right you know whatever depending on your perspective well you know there's not a lot of information about it but like the best explanation i've heard um i know like dan savage talks about this and and um the author or like jesse baring he wrote the book perv he talks about it's like there's this kind of sensitive period for guys like around the age of nine where their mind is just kind of almost malleable in this way and and they'll usually have an experience that will you know set them

off for the rest of their life that hardwires them to like whatever they like um i think for most guys that's like boobs and blowjobs but um you know some of the time something something weirder gets in there some people it's just shitting in your hair yeah and it's and it really seems to be just like really hardwired for guys like because i as you can imagine a lot of my clients don't want to like what they like it's weird um you know a lot of them are submissive and you know guys aren't really allowed to be submissive and so you know a lot of them really struggle with it um and they try and like quit it like they see it as this addiction that they need to quit wow um but um but you can't like that's that's just how male sexuality works it seems like you can't like something else so you do you think

it's just something that happens along the way during the developmental period like a little hijacking of your of what we would consider normal sexuality to like it piques this interest or gets this fetish fired up inside of a guy's mind yeah i mean i don't like to speculate about that sort of thing um you know i don't like to play an arm armchair psychologist but like from that seems to be like i think you've earned the position yeah maybe so but i mean as far as like studies i've been on this like that seems to be like I think you've earned the position yeah maybe so but I mean as far as like studies I've been on this like that seems to be just kind of the best

explanation that we have right now about it yeah I've talked to Dan Savage about this and um Chris as well like we were talking about guys that might not even be gay that get they develop like a fetish for a guy giving them oral sex.

I talk to those guys all the time. Really? Yeah. It's called forced by. Is that what they call it? What is it called? Forced by. Forced by.

Forced by. Forced by sexuality. I thought it was forced by. Forced by. Yeah. No, it's guys that want me to force them to like suck cock or like get fucked in the ass. And they'll tell me time and time again, I would never do this unless a woman was forcing me to do it or a woman was present encouraging me to do it.

It's not about I want to suck a dick. It's about I want a woman to humiliate me in this way because that's the most humiliating thing I can think of. See, I guess I could kind of understand like fetishes. I could understand like you just get really turned on when you see women's shoes or something wacky yeah but there's something bizarre about wanting to be humiliated like that's i'm shocked when i find out how many people have this thing where they want to be humiliated yeah i don't know what do they what do they tell you like do you do you

ever have like you have video conversations with these people or audio conversations with these people on the phone? Yeah, I talk to them. Yeah, I talk to them on Skype. I do cam shows one-on-one and stuff like that. So you see them? Sometimes. If they turn on their cam, I'll see them. Right.

And it depends on if they want to be seen or not, really. I don't really care. But, I mean, I'm mostly talking to them when they're aroused. Usually once they come, it's like, goodbye. So I don't have a lot of, like, you know, post-coital conversations with them or anything. Right. So, I don't know. It just seems to me like it's a different form of dirty talk, really.

Right. So it's not necessarily that they really do want you to force them to suck a guy's dick. They want to talk about it and beat off. Well, they don't have a choice with me because I don't do sessions or anything like that. But a lot of guys do. Like I'm friends with women who work as dominatrixes. And yeah, they'll want to set up a session where this woman like force them to suck a dick or sell their ass on Craigslist or something like that. And so they do it?

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. That's next level shit, it? Yeah. Yeah. Totally. That's next level shit, right? Yeah. Some of them do. I mean, some of them are a little too scared, but no, yeah, there's certainly guys that do.

But like the ultimate for those guys is to find a dominatrix that will get them a guy that's going to fuck them in the ass. Yeah. Or force them to suck his dick. Mm-hmm. I had a guy one time, he was this French guy, and he was really into the whole forced buy thing, and he was also into being blackmailed and exposed time, he was this French guy, and he was really into the whole forced buy thing. And he was also into being blackmailed and exposed for what he was doing.

And so he made a video for me. He put my name on his forehead in big letters like C-E-A-R-A and on his ass. And then he just found this black guy with just the biggest dick ever and just made a video of like blowing up with my name on his forehead and then getting fucked in the ass. And then he wanted me to put together a whole video where I'm like humiliating him for this video. And then I was going to expose him to the world and expose him to all his ex-girlfriends. And he fucking loved it. Like I put it all together. Like he was so happy.

And he keeps paying me money. He keeps wanting to do more videos. Wow. And he has this goofy French accent accent he's super flamboyant he'll probably watch this and be totally stoked i'm talking about him right now actually wow so yeah what so is he gay you say he's super flamboyant he is yeah like i would think he was gay but he's apparently had girlfriends and and part of his kink is that he wants me to expose uh him to his ex-girlfriends for being the big fag that he is oh my god because i need to i need to punish him for tricking all these women when he's really just a closeted fag and so yeah that's his thing i mean he's clearly not totally straight i'll give you that but

i don't know bisexual i guess I guess. I guess, yeah. Because he's not coming to a man for this. You know, he's coming to me, so he's obviously attracted to women. Boy, you can go deep with this one. I guess maybe he's attracted to women, or maybe he's dated women before, but always secretly wanted a man, but knows that it would be humiliating so that he gets his kink on like pretending that you're going to expose him.

Yeah. Maybe like you said, what Chris Ryan was saying, one's an orientation and one's a fetish. So it's like he's a fetish for women, but he's really gay or maybe the other way around. Didn't you have a situation where a guy like gave you his bank account number and everything too and wanted you to pretend to steal money from him? Oh, I get that thing all the time. That's normal? That's a normal one? Yeah. Well, that's that thing all the time. That's normal? That's a normal one?

Yeah, well, that kind of gets into financial domination. Oh, that's a financial domination issue. Yeah. You see, I've learned all these terms. Yeah. Forced by, financial domination. So financial domination is basically where guys literally get off on giving a woman their money.

So that's their kink. They just get off on giving a woman their money. So like that's their kink. They just like get off on giving money. Do they get off on being blackmailed or being stolen from? That can be part of it. It can. But a lot of guys, like I get a lot of guys just sending me money for no reason. Just like, here you go. And that's what they like to do.

They like pleasing me. They like sacrificing for me and that sort of thing. And some guys kind of get more into the control aspect where they want to give me their bank account number or their credit card number and watch me like shop credit card. So you put a GoPro on and go to the mall? No, I usually do it online. session with this girl one time and this guy put all his credit card information into this Saks Fifth Avenue website you know and then gave us the password and was like go ahead shop and in an hour we spent ten thousand dollars of his money just like buying just stupid shit that I ended up like reselling because I don't I don't give a shit about designer handbags or anything

like that but he liked the idea of these like bitchy kind of paris hilton type girls that would just laugh at him and just use them use them for his money wow yeah how strange yeah it's interesting though that these guys at least have an outlet now like yeah i don't know what they did before the internet yeah do you think that somehow the internet because of the the the access to people that are willing to do, that it sort of fosters this or helps it flourish? Yeah, I don't know. I've thought about that. I've wondered if these fetishes even really existed before or if, you know, yeah, now these guys just have an outlet. I have no idea. Do you mind saying how much you make doing something like this? Or is it something you want to keep to yourself? I'd rather keep that to myself.

Okay, I understand. Totally makes sense. Especially when you're talking about $12,000 just in logs. You start getting into toenails and boogers and all that. Who knows? Sky's the limit. Yeah. Have you ever had someone that you did this with that like insisted on meeting you?

Um, I don't know about insisted. I've certainly had guys like be really persistent. Um, but I mean, the answer is just no, I just, what if a guy wanted to give you like a million dollars to shit on him? Oh, I'd do that. Yeah. No one's offered me quite that much. Is there a number, but it's gotta be be a guy out there that becomes obsessed with you and he's really wealthy and he's like, it's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it. Can I film it?

Several camera angles. I'll hire a professional crew. Yeah, I haven't quite gotten that offer yet. But, so most of the time people are content with the videos, would you say? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they seem to do pretty well. Like how many of them, out of the average, ask to meet you in person?

Oh, pretty small percentage. I mean, it's hard to say like in terms of there's some guys I never talk to. They just buy my videos, you know. And then there's some guys who buy cam, some guys who buy custom videos. So your videos are for sale to the public. Like they're never, they're never free. Yeah. I mean, unless someone pirates them, but yeah, they're.

Oh, okay. So you have them on your website or something like that. And then someone signs up with a credit card and they have access. Yeah. So I have like a, a normal like subscription website, you know, like any kind of porn website where you pay monthly and get so many videos streaming um like like two or three hundred um and then i have a few like pay-per-view sites where guys can like buy the videos individually and how much of your day is spent doing this stuff hmm that's a good question i get asked that a lot and i wish someone could

just like watch me and see when i'm working and when I'm not because um you know when you work for yourself at home it's this blend of like working and then Facebook and then doing the dishes and then you know working and so it's it's hard for me to say how much I how much time I really spend doing it but I mean I put I try and put a lot of effort into it because like we were saying before it's it not gonna last forever so i and it seems quite lucrative yeah yeah it is it's uh it's very strange yeah does your family know about this yeah yeah you said that with eyes wide open eyebrows raised um yeah no they know um what do they think about it my mom and i don't really talk about it the last time we talked about it was the first time i told her um how'd that conversation go

um well how did it go i remember i was at my house and i knew like it was one of those situations obviously i wasn't working at Starbucks you know because I was making you know good money had a fairly nice apartment and you know I bought a car and that sort of thing so it was like I knew she knew something was up and so I just figured I might as well tell her and um I don't know what her response was I think she just kind of nodded and was like okay and then I just assured her I, you know, I'm really happy and I'm safe and, you know, you don't need to worry. And that was it. She's kind of a reserved private person.

So I think, you know, it just kind of makes her uncomfortable to talk about it. So, you know, we don't need to. My dad thinks it's awesome. Like, he thinks it's so cool. Hit the brakes. What? Yeah, my dad thinks it's really cool. Your dad thinks it's so cool what yeah my my dad thinks it's really cool your dad thinks it's cool yeah whoa yeah what was he thinks cool about it um well i think he was just very surprised i mean it's the same situation like he knew something was up and unlike my mom he would make comments um alluding to the fact that he knew something was up, but wasn't.

Like what kind of comments? Well, like I said, like I, you know, how does one breach this subject? Well, I know you're shitting in buckets,

kid. I know it. Well, I think he thought it was something like, quote unquote. Yeah. I think he thought something maybe worse than it was like, yeah.

And he was alluding to that. Well, no, he like, like I got, like I bought a car, you know, and I was telling him I was working at Starbucks and he just he like like i got um like i bought a car you know and and i was

telling him i was working at starbucks and he just was like wow kiddo starbucks is really paying you a lot you know like comments like that where it's like i'm not buying this but whatever and then um when i finally told him like he said like he kind of like stopped me at one point he was just like you know i don't know what's going on in your life but i i just want you to know that i really love you and i just need to know that you're okay and you're safe and and and that and so i was like all right i should just tell him because he obviously something else is going on his head that's way worse than it is right and so i was just like you know i basically humiliate guys on the internet for a living and i don't meet anyone and i don't touch anyone i don't even really get naked and and he was just like what and he just whoa like so many questions

and he's just like wow he's like that's that's amazing you're a genius that's great like you're a genius that's what he said yeah I did wow what a weird dad yeah well he's he's he's gay so he's you know wow yeah he's not there you go for whatever information i'll give you um you know he doesn't have the most traditional lifestyle himself so you know he's open-minded he's cool i guess you have to be if you're a gay dad yeah how did when did he come out um to me i I was 12 years old. Whoa. Yeah. What about to your mom? You were 20.

No, my parents had been divorced for like, I don't know, like five years at that point. But we grew up very religious. We grew up Jehovah Witness, actually. So they marry young and have kids pretty young. And so they marry young and have kids pretty young. That was going to be my next question. About how many of these guys that you deal with are religious? That's a good question.

I don't know. I don't necessarily take polls. But there are some guys that like to be humiliated for their religion. One religion in particular that I'd rather not mention publicly. You'd rather not mention it? Because it's too obvious? Yeah, a little fanatical. Oh, Islam.

Yeah. Too bad I made you mention it. So there's a guy who's a Muslim who buys your videos and wants to be humiliated for his religion. Yeah, and there's guys that will, I don't do this because I'm not touching him with a ten foot pole, but there are guys that will pay girls to piss on the Quran and rip it up

and that sort of thing. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, so it's... And make videos doing that? Yeah. Whoa. And there's good money in it because it's so taboo. Anything that's so taboo someone's jerking off to it. But how hilarious is what you just said? There's good money in it.

You're saying that like it's a good river to catch fish in. Like they got some nice trout in that river. You might die eating it, but it's good. That is what it sounds like. There's good money in there. There's good fishing in that river. Wow. Wow.

Fuck. Yeah. I had one Christian guy that wanted me to make a video of me like telling him to denounce Jesus and worship me and jerk off on the Bible. And I did that video because whatever Christians are going to are going to come after me for that. And most likely. Yeah.

Most likely. Yeah. So that was pretty fun.esus christ how strange what a weird place to find yourself in like trapped in this or not trapped but just in this world yeah strange world of people's strange fetishes and ideas and yeah kinks does it make you like look i mean you must look at people so much different than most other young girls that like go walk down the street in Portland. You see people, you don't, I mean, you've seen the man behind the curtain on so many of these freaks. Yeah.

Well, nothing really surprises me, you know, and I find that a lot of guys, I guess because I do what I do, like a lot of guys will tell me what they're into just very openly about it. Just because they know I'm, maybe not jaded is the right word, but I'm just so accustomed to hearing the weirdest shit. Nothing really surprises me. But I think a lot of people get paranoid that I assume they're into something weird. Like a lot of guys, everyone's always intrigued by what I do. And I tell them, they're just like, wow. And if it's a guy, they're always like, you Like a lot of guys, everyone's always intrigued by what I do and I tell them, they're just like, wow.

And if it's a guy, they're always like, they start asking questions but then they backpedal and they'll just be like, I'm not into this sort of thing. I just think it's interesting. It's like, well, I didn't think you were

until you said that. Is it weird with dating? Dating hasn't been a problem. I've had, I'd say, three serious relationships. See, that is right there, the difference between men and women. Yeah.

Right there in a nutshell. That you say, oh, it hasn't really been a problem. You know why? Because you're a pretty young girl. So pretty young girls, guys are like, oh, okay, whatever. What are you doing? You shit in a bucket? Whatever.

Are we going to fuck? We are. Yeah, I can deal with that. Are we going to fuck? We are. Yeah, I can deal with that. But if, you know, but if a girl met a guy and the girl's like, what do you do for a living? He's like, well, I take shits and buckets, send them to dudes.

Girls would be like, I'm out. That's it. I'm not handling it. I don't care how cute you are, you fuck. That's a good point. I hadn't thought about that way before. What do you do? I send my toenail clippings and shit to guys.

I fart in underwear all day and then I send them to dudes. Girls would be out. They would never take your text. Yeah, I think you're probably right. Guys would assume, oh, she's a freak. Yeah. Oh, my God. She's not going to say no to anything.

This girl's off the chain. Yeah. She's out there peeing on dudes or peeing for dudes. Yeah. That's the difference between men and women. Men will tolerate so much more bizarre shit for girls pretty. I don't want to date a stripper necessarily. They get jealous.

That's a little different. That's different. Because it's what, you know. Or porn stars certainly. That's got to be really hard. That's a hard one. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a real hard one. I've had friends that have dated porn stars and then it gets to a point where it gets kind of serious. Yeah. And you know, these girls come home from again like i had a friend i had a friend who was a writer he was a writer on news radio and he was dating this girl who was a very prominent porn star at the time and they were at dinner and she you know they were you know trying to have like small talk like normal people do at the end of the day at dinner. And he was like, so what's going on?

How you been? She's like, I just had this hard anal day with this guy. I kept pounding my ass. I'm so tired. Yeah. And he was like sitting there like with his jaw dropped like, oh, Christ. Yeah. Just he couldn't do it anymore.

It's tough. I know another guy. I got another guy. Another guy who was living with a porn star like dating living cool with it fine no big deal just her job man just her job dude and then one day uh she left a contract out and you know going over the contract and uh he looked at the contract and he's like what does airtight mean i know know what airtight means. Airtight means a dick in every hole. One in the mouth, one in the butt, one in the vag.

Play leaky submarine. And he was like, that's it. I'm out. That was it. The phrase airtight on a contract, he just realized what he was getting into. It wasn't that his girlfriend was going off and having sex with another man. She was getting stuffed. She was getting brutalized hmm that's interesting like i mean if you're okay with your your lady you know having sex with other men like what how do additional dicks really

make a difference i don't know to him it was just a straw that broke the camel's back i don't know i mean i think he's probably close to not being able to take it anyway you know sometimes people get into things like it's not what they want. Right. But the girl is so much prettier than most girls they get and so much hotter. Yeah. Like, I have a friend, here's another one, a different dude, who has been living with a porn star for a long time. Yeah.

And she retired recently. She just does, like, videos and stuff. Uh-huh. But the whole time they were together together she was just getting gorilla fucked yeah like four or five days a week and he's like this really nerdy sort of like low-key quiet guy and she's pretty hot yeah and it's like the only way he's ever gonna get that kind of a girl and i guess in him she finds stability sure and a nice nice mate and someone who's kind and you know and then

she goes off and gets gorilla fucked yeah yeah right that's really what it's all about at the end of the day the real problem is our attitudes about sex like that's at the end of the day that's where that's the only place it becomes a problem because if you're off getting mass massaged nobody Attitudes about sex. Yeah. Like, that's, at the end of the day, that's where, that's the only place it becomes a problem. Mm-hmm.

Because if you're off getting mass massaged, nobody cares. If you go someplace and three people massage you, nobody gives a shit. Right. But if three people fuck you, then we're like, hey, you're breaking the rules. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Especially, like, in the porn industry.

I mean, they're getting tested every week, so, you know, it's kind of hard to make the excuse that, you know, it's more dangerous for your health. I think their population is actually like, there's less instances of STDs than the general population, or promiscuous people in the general population. That makes sense. Kind of makes sense. How many people do you know get tested every week? Jamie. Jamie's three times a week.

Oh, good for you. He doesn't even fuck he's just paranoid no i'm just kidding um but i would always think that well if she gets tested on friday and then we bang on the next following thursday who knows how many dicks have been around since then infected charlie sheen dicks you know that's what could happen poor charlie huh who saw that coming yeah Yeah, no kidding. Crazy Charlie. Isn't that interesting? Poor guy, such a victim.

Yeah, he is a victim. He's a victim of circumstance. The crack and the dick were in the same room at the same time and he didn't know which one to smoke. I feel like I'm Tony Hinchcliffe now with the puns. That's a crazy story, right? Apparently he was like blowing guys. But I guess you do enough drugs. I'm Tony Hinchcliffe now with the puns. Do you, that's a crazy story, right? Apparently he was like blowing guys. But I guess you do enough drugs, you know, I guess you get cracked out enough and you're like, who gives a shit?

Give me that dick. I'll suck it. You know, you're just off the fucking rails, right? Yeah. Or he's just bisexual. Could be. Just in dudes. Well, there was a story a long time ago about, was it Corey Haim?

Is that what it was? Corey Haim. Yeah. Corey Feldman apparently said that Corey Haim got fucked by Charlie. He sort of like alluded to it. Like when they were, when Corey Haim was really young, but you know,

Corey Feldman's kind of crazy. So it's, who knows? Allegedly. Allegedly crazy. Everybody's crazy. But you know, I wasn't surprised,

right? Were you surprised? That Charlie Sheen got AIDS? Well, he's got HIV. Or HIV. First of all, be politically correct on this show. Please. This is super important.

He's got HIV. Yeah. No, that doesn't surprise me at all. No. He's a total train wreck. He's a freak. Yeah. Right?

I don't get why people, like, celebrate him so much. Like, he just seems like an awful person. Well, at one point in time what he did was the unthinkable because he was a superstar right two and a half men giant sitcom one of the biggest sitcoms in the country he had been in platoon and wall street he was michael douglas's son i mean it's jesus or martin sheen's son michael douglas why they have a different name i'm like i forgot what i'm talking about When he had that like tiger blood meltdown, everyone just thought it was so funny. And it's like, this guy's fucked up.

Like he has kids and like. Yeah. But that's because he was doing the unthinkable. He was owning it. And in this country, what we hate is when someone gets busted doing something. And tries to hide it. And they go to rehab. Yeah.

You know. God forbid. You know, like forbid. You know? Quitter. No matter what you do, I mean, you could get busted doing anything. You know,

like Mel Gibson went to rehab because he was yelling at a Jew when he got pulled over. He was yelling at a cop calling him a Jew and he's like,

I gotta go to rehab for hating Jews. Like, he went to rehab. Did he go to rehab for that? He did, went to rehab. Did he go to rehab for that? He did, right? Jew hating rehab. Yeah.

I think they have a Jew hating rehab. But the cop, I don't think the cop was even Jewish. He was just drunk and crazy. But it was like that's what led him. It's like you got to make amends. You got to find something to, got to pull together. Got to go to rehab to pull it together. That's the move.

In this country, we demand that you go to rehab. Yeah. You can't even do, you can't even rehab at home. Nope. Not good enough. Yeah. Got to go to rehab to pull it together. That's the move. In this country, we demand that you go to rehab. Yeah. You can't even rehab at home. Nope. Not good enough. Yeah. Got to go there. Or like if you cheat on your wife and it's like, oh, I'm a sex addict.

Got to go to rehab. Yeah. Got to go somewhere. It's not that I'm powerful and have all this money and women want to fuck me. Nope. Nope. Nope. Rehab.

Addiction. Got a problem. Got a sickness. Got an illness. Got to go to rehab. Yeah. That's what we... It's like that Amy Winehouse song.

We make people go to rehab. that's what we it's like that amy winehouse song we make people go to rehab yeah what rehab is a fun when did they invent rehab i really want to know and it wasn't betty ford wasn't i don't know she didn't she's the betty ford clinic was that the first one it's a good question i think you might have nailed it that might be it because that was what it used to be when I was a kid It was always oh he went to Betty Ford Yeah, I was like what you would say when someone had fucked up and just completely blown it, right? Yeah Do you ever get dudes that are Former sex addicts like they've gone to sex rehab and they've had counselors tell them that they need to stop and rehab and they've had counselors tell them that they need to stop and um i don't know about i'm sure i have um i've never talked about it talked to any guys about specifically but i there's a

definitely a certain percentage of guys that think they are like addicted to me and it can be kind of confusing because i think sometimes that's part of the fantasy is that they're addicted to me but there are some guys that like legitimately like have a problem with um their spending and their jerk off habits and just how much this fetish world kind of consumes them um and they make poor decisions and like especially if you get into the whole like blackmail exposure fetish like oh yeah i had a guy one time um really felt bad for him actually um nice guy we'd cam and like he would dress up you know in women's clothing like and not like classic clothing just like outrageous kind of bimbo-y like uh tutus and just crazy slutty makeup and then he would get a bunch of used condoms and put them in his mouth oh jesus and then uh take pictures and he would um he would want me to like you know pretend to blackmail him

and like threaten to send him and he would give me he would give me like real people's like email address like like ex-girlfriends and stuff like that or any or he he was also one of the guys that would want me to make a video and release it and And, um, so he did pay me a lot of money to make a video and, and release it. And then, um, I remember like a week or so later, I got an email from,

um, a dominatrix that he saw in person. And it was like a really serious email. And she was just like, Hey, you know, I, I know you made this video for,

um, for this guy. And I just, you know, I just want you to know that he really struggles with this fetish and he's, kind of suicidal, and he's really freaking out about, you know, that you put this up, even though he asked you to do it, and I just wanted to kind of reach out to you and ask if you would consider taking it down. And so I did, and yeah, I mean, can you imagine?

I don't know what you're into, Joe, but, like, imagine, like, whatever you're into sexually, instead of, like, that feeling you get where that almost not quite uncontrollable, but just kind of where you lose it a little bit sexually because you're just so like intoxicated. Like that feeling for, you know, being exposed in this way where there's condoms in your mouth and you're like dressed as a woman and stuff like that. And then you come and you're like, oh, fuck, what did I do? mouth and you're like dressed as a woman and stuff like that and then you come and you're like oh fuck what did i do so a lot of guys like really struggle with it where they they're their desire comes from this place of just something they actually really do not want really like scares them and freaks them out like it's just that's so strange to have the the the the two contrasting sides sort of right next to each other, pre and post orgasm.

Right. Well, I feel like we all maybe kind of share that a little bit. Girls too? Well, I mean, just the idea that, I mean, sex, just normal sex is kind of weird and kind of gross if you're not turned on, you know? Or like, even if you're like watching normal porn, like it looks really awesome and feels great when you're aroused and then you come and it's like ew yeah who was i a second ago you know so and that's just maybe like to very lower degree but yeah you get into these weird fetishes and that that difference

is much more defined well there's definitely a difference when you're there you know there's definitely a difference like if having actual sex with someone and being aroused and then what it must appear if you weren't horny at all. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Especially if you look gross naked. Right. You know, like people who look gross naked, they don't give a fuck.

They just, ugh. And then when it's over, they're like, ugh. Yeah. You know, you look at it all and you're like, what the fuck am I, what am I doing? What is this? What is this weird urge that your body's natural reward system sort of been hijacked just to get you to come in someone's mouth? And then you're like, what is this? Like, what is going on here?

And especially if you're a guy, it's like it seems like you're almost like cognitively impaired and your priorities are just. Almost. Yeah. 100%. That's driving nice. The way I've described it is like when a guy has an erection, it's like sitting in the back seat of a really long bus where some other dude's driving. But it's hard to talk to him because all the windows are rolled down and the engine's really

loud and you're yelling, do you know where the fuck you're going? And you're watching your life take place through a dirty windshield. Like, where are we going? That's a great analogy. What is this? That's so true. And then once you have an orgasm all of a sudden when the clouds of confusion part you wake up and you're at the

front of the bus holding on to the wheel yeah you're like what the fuck is going on here that's literally what it feels like yeah to a guy but that's how that's how there's seven billion people on the planet like that that switch that goes off where massive impairment of function, of thought, all just gets shot down. All those fuses start blowing off. Circuits start shutting off. That's how people made sure there's 7 billion people on the planet. Yeah, it's true. Especially back when people had never figured out soap or wiping or anything.

I mean, who knows what people smelled like 200,000 years ago. But there were people 200,000 years ago and they were having sex with each other. Now you got those pheromones going though. I mean, barely probably puts you over the top. It barely allows you to. I mean, the guys that want to buy my underwear, I'll wear them for a day, but they want me to wear them for a week. Do you lie and say Don't say

Of course you don't Do they ask you to do things in the underwear Like farting them Yeah I get that or shitting them Or pissing them or masturbating them Anything that can secrete Off my body Someone wants to eat up

Oh god Is there ever anything that people have asked you to do and you said no? Other than meet them? Yeah, sure. Well, because I'm kind of, you know, I'm always in control. I'm like the female dom. I won't

do anything that depicts me as submissive. I don't get naked. I get pretty close. I get pretty scantily clad. But I don't get naked. I get pretty close. I get pretty scantily clad. Um, but I don't get completely naked. Um, yeah, yeah, that, that, that's, that's about it. If it's, I mean, if it's a video that I can just do just me and the camera and I'm in control, I'll probably do it. Have guys ever tried to get you to not be in control have ever guys ever tried to switch it around on you yeah pretty rarely though i think i think most guys kind of get you know

they know what i'm about so they know it's kind of a lost cause to to try otherwise but yeah once in a while they know what you're about that's hilarious because you got a reputation in the humiliation world yeah exactly god it's so fucking strange yeah is that a strange existence it really is yeah it's fucking weird but it seems like it's a flourishing existence that's what's strange about it is there's obviously a certain percentage of the population that wants this service yeah yeah and it seems like because i have no i have some friends in the porn industry and it seems like mainstream porn is you know losing a lot of money with piracy and whatnot. I mean, I'm sure they're still doing pretty well, but.

Oh, they've lost most of it. It's been the bottoms dropped out of it. The way where they make money now, ironically, is really. Yeah. That's where they make money. Yeah. It's kind of funny. I don't think that's ironic, really.

It's like Alanis Morissette ironic. It's odd. Yeah. That's where they make money. Yeah. It's kind of funny. I don't think that's ironic, really. It's like Alanis Morissette ironic. It's odd. Yeah. That's where the money's coming in. Yeah, you wouldn't have guessed that necessarily. It's pay-per-view. Pay-per-view in hotels. Yeah.

But who the fuck doesn't have a laptop? Like, who's doing that? Yeah, that's weird. So, like, I've seen people even say, like, hey, don't go to these free sites. You know, you should support your local, your performers and, you know, buy porn. But most people are like, whatever. You know, most people don't care. Yeah.

That's a business. Yeah, it's true. But I see a lot of, like, former mainstream porn girls, like, doing what I do now. So it kind of seems like it's kind of the new thing. And there's something to be said about the more personal interaction and the fact that there's no middleman. It's just me. When you email me, you get me. Right.

And control, too. Yeah. Also that you don't have to worry about it. Yeah. That's got to be a big aspect of it. Because if you're doing films and then you don't get to, I guess, maybe decide if you have that kind of power, who you have sex with or what you do. But if you want to make more money, you got to do other stuff, you know. Yeah.

It's got to be tricky. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I don't do anything I don't want to do. So that's pretty sweet. Yeah, I think in that sense, the like the porn business is probably going to go sort of the way of the record business in that like the record business was controlled by these big groups and they're kind of, they're worthless now because no one's selling records anymore. And sort of the porn business was like this big thing where like all these guys who are the producers and the content creators, like these companies, these big companies,

they were making millions and millions of dollars and the girls made some money, but they didn't make the bulk of the money. They were the ones that everybody was paying to see, but most of the money was being made by the producers yeah well that's fucking dried up and now the girls are kind of owning it themselves now doing stuff like what you're doing yeah and like a lot of the other one i see like uh different people uh on twitter they offer like videos and stuff like private videos they'll do with people yeah yeah and i think i mean if a guy is even the slightest bit fanboyish they they like that their money's going directly to the person and not you know yeah oh definitely

yeah yeah well sure i mean there's a lot of that fanboyish shit too there's a lot of like there's fan like i don't think people who are outside of the business or aren't in somehow or another know somebody in the business but there's guys that are like fucking sports fans there's sports fans of porn stars like they they want to get like autographs and they they're like they're fans like oh yeah well the avn every year they have the whole aee convention and it's all just the girls signing autographs and what kind of freaks show up at those things it's fine i go every year you go every year really yeah because one of the clips for sale one of the sites that i sell my videos off of they have a

booth and so um i'll go over there and sign and uh it's so mainstream most guys don't know who i am but every once in a while they will but yeah it's it's you know kind of like whatever you imagine a guy like that would go to that you're probably probably right. It's exactly what you're picturing. Yeah. But that's also, honestly, they're the same dudes who go to comic book conventions. Yeah. You know, the same dudes are really into baseball. You know, we could all be in that group.

Yeah, that's true. A few wrong turns or right turns, depending on your perspective. Yeah. Yeah. We have a weird thing in this country, particularly about sex. And anything else where you're really into it, it's okay.

You can be addicted to playing golf and everybody goes, oh, there's Jamie. He's on that golf course every day, this crazy fuck. But if you're at home beating off every day, you're a freak. Yeah.

You're a loser. You could have gigs and gigs of porn and you just really love it. And you talk about the old days and, you know, you have, you have like, like, you know, like Mike Tyson used to watch like old Jack Dempsey films and learn technique. You know, like you can't be like that with porn because if you like that with porn, you're a fucking loser. Yeah. It's weird.

It is weird. I mean, as long as you're getting everything else done in life, it's not interfering in any critical way. Yeah. And even if it is getting in the way, so is everything else people get addicted to. So is food. People that are nuts about food.

People that love gambling. Yeah. That gets in the way. Everything gets in the way. But we look at those things as somehow or another being a better thing to be addicted to. Yeah. Preferable. Yeah.

I think you're right. Yeah. We're a little fucked up about sex for sure. A lot fucked up about sex. But whatever. Right? I mean, that's how you pay the bills. Like imagine a perfect world where everybody was open-minded.

What would you have to do? You'd have to be working at Starbucks just like you told your dad. All these guys would be honest with their wives about what they're into and then they never come to me for it. Yeah. It's probably better that we live in this strange world. Sex shaming world. Yeah. I think so. The echoes of the Puritans

who founded this strange country. Did you go to college? Yeah. What did you go to college for? I studied psychology. Oh, perfect. Yeah, I? I studied psychology. Oh, perfect. Yeah, minored in business. Oh, perfect. Jesus Christ, you were born for this. That's hilarious.

Yeah. So this is a perfect gig for you. Yeah, I think so. Wow. I'm going to fit right into it. Awesome. I don't know how much longer we could talk about this, but I think we kind of nailed it. I've had a feeling this is going to be one of those podcasts.

Yeah. How long has it been? An hour. An hour? An hour and five minutes Can I do a little self-promotion? Sure, please do So I haven't mentioned this at all publicly yet So I wanted to save it for this podcast

Because I know you've got a pretty big audience I have for the past couple years Been working on a documentary With a filmmaker, Julian Shaw From Australia And, been working on a documentary with a filmmaker, Julian Shaw, from Australia. And he's been doing a documentary on me, filming me. And we just opened up a Facebook about it. And we'll be launching a Kickstarter to help fund the rest of the movie pretty soon. So if people want to join and get updates, it's facebook.com forward slash ruin me movie.

So it's essentially a documentary about what we're talking about here. Yeah. About me. Yeah. About humiliation, about how these guys want you to do these things to them. Exactly. Threaten them. Yeah. And we've filmed a lot of it, mostly through like private investors, but we're going to do some crowdsourcing here soon. So yeah, it's going to be called Ruin Me.

So it's facebook.com forward slash Ruin Me movie for updates on that. All right, beautiful. Thank you. Thank you, Ciara. Very nice meeting you. Yeah, you too. Young Jamie, take us out. I'll see you soon. I'm worried if I do this.