The Joe Rogan Experience - #755 - Daniele Bolelli

Episode Date: February 3, 2016

Daniele Bolelli is an Italian author, professor, and martial artist. His latest book "Not Afraid" (http://amzn.to/1SYRwpU) is out now and his new podcast is called "History on Fire."

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo One of the few men who can pull off a yin-yang bandana like some renegade biker on an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Look at that fucking thing. But you fucking balance it out with a Frank Frazetta Conan the Barbarian t-shirt. That shirt is the shit. Where'd you pick that up? Ah, man, I was looking all over the place for it. And I found it. They probably had it for like some old comic book store a million years ago, and I picked it up.

That's a dope shirt. I might have to hide that one from my wife because she'd probably try to throw it out. Why? I don't know. You know how women are, man. Come on. This contains everything that's good in life. Maybe it's time to grow up.

Maybe you shouldn't have a comic book guy on your shirt. It's not a fucking comic book. It's a novel. Robert E. Howard wrote a series of novels. It's about Conan the Barbarian. People don't know. They don't know. That's like my entire life philosophy is based on Conan the Barbarian.

Everything else is commentary. You can get in trouble for that kind of philosophy, sir. I don't understand. But Crom's a good god. Crom is an excellent god. Because he doesn't give a fuck. He's not here to help you. Nope.

Not going to save you. No, it's very, that's the beauty of the current thing. It's very real. You know, it's like, hey, life is tough. Deal the fuck with it because that's the way it's going to be. Yeah, there are horrible things that can happen. Yeah, there's no guarantees about the afterlife. Yeah, all of that. But hey, in the meantime, there are women.

There's red wine. There's enemies to be killed. What more do you want? Probably parasites, all sorts of weird But hey, in the meantime, there are women, there's red wine, there's enemies to be killed. What more do you want? Probably parasites, all sorts of weird diseases nobody's ever diagnosed yet. Yeah, that part is the less pleasant one. You're lucky you lived to 30. It's kind of amazing when they keep finding these new species of people. You know, they had this article yesterday where they've examined the teeth of the Hobbit people on the island of Flores.

And so now they're like 99.9% positive. It's 100% – not 99.9% positive. It's 100%. But 99.9% positive that it's a completely different species of human being. They found the teeth of these things. And you got to think like that's only like 14,000 years ago. Yeah. You know? And we don't even of these things. And you got to think like, that's only like 14,000 years ago, you know, and we don't even remember those things.

They've sort of become like this weird little legend. Like how many different versions of people were out there and what a hard scrabble life it must've been. Yeah. Extinction is the name of the game. I mean, when you think about it, like the overwhelming majority of species that ever been around, they've all gone extinct. Yeah. More than 90 name of the game. I mean, when you think about it, the overwhelming majority of species that have ever been around,

they've all gone extinct. Yeah, more than 90%, right? So, yeah, that's my point. Conan is the truth. Yeah, with bear claws around his neck. That's a fucking awesome picture. Yeah, that's why I have it in my house as a poster. I'm mildly obsessed.

I have a bunch of his old books, Frazetta's old books, like sketchbooks and books that are collections of his paintings. God, that kind of art that he did was just so indicative of that time. It's like so 1970s fantasy art.

Those days, man. You know what? No one has really captured it correctly in a movie. They just have not done it right. You didn't dig the first one? Nah. Nah?

It was fun. It was campy. But it was more like the comic book than it was like the books. I think Jason Momoa was the best version of Conan physically. Sure. The way he looked. Just the screenwriting was... Dog shit.

That was painful. That movie was dog shit. But that guy is awesome. I love that Jason Momoa guy. Oh, he's great. In Game of Thrones, he was a kick-ass. He seemed like the most likely Conan. Might have to get him on the Jews, though.

Well, there's that, too. Might have to get him on some fucking heavy-duty powerlifting program. Where he is a rip, too. Yeah, he's got to look a little more yoked, because Conan was just supposedly ridiculously impressive as a person. And in fact, when they put Arnold as the first one, that's kind of high. That sets the bar pretty high right away.

But Arnold was built incorrectly. He had all these unnecessary muscles, like big titty muscles. You need a guy who's built more like Yoel Romero. Like a barbarian Yoel Romero with a sword. Basically me. Just exactly like me.

I was going to say that, but you're here and I didn't want you to feel embarrassed. It's okay. I can accept compliments. It's fine. So tell me about your book, man. Not Afraid. On fear, heartbreak, raising a baby girl, and cage fighting. That's an unusual combination of things. That's what makes it interesting. No, I mean, to me, all the stuff I've written so far was kind of more philosophical in nature.

This is a bit more personal. This is very much my life. It's sort of divided up in three parts is the first part is about dealing with fear in martial arts and it's kind of like my experience of constantly testing the boundaries getting crushed try again find a way to make it deal with that scaring feeling of when you have somebody who's coming at you who has been training for the last few years and want to take your head off and you're like shit this is a little intimidating there's all the pressure people watching you the idea of getting physically if you fuck up you're getting physically dominated by another man which is never a fun feeling that kind of shit and so

that's that part but then to me that part just serves as a springboard for the other stuff which is well that's great when you're on the mat when you're in the cage for that stuff but what about the rest of life and in this case you know part two deals with what happened with my wife you know very quick uh get a little sick and all of a sudden what the fuck is going on your body start falling apart diagnosis with brain tumor dead within six months from the time the first symptom came up. So it was really quick, really harsh and all the stuff that you may imagine with that.

And then the part three sort of, okay, now what, you know, what do I do with it now? And life afterwards, when my wife died, my daughter was 19 months old, all this shit was happening, as you may imagine.

And so it's like, in some way, these three elements kind of go together it's like the martial art part was sort of a warm-up in terms of learning some things that then i would have to apply on a much bigger more important scale in day-to-day life and then you know when shit hits the fan and then afterwards how that changes my attitude about things my life overall and and you know like when i was talking with publishers originally they wanted a nice pretty arc where you start out as this scared wimp and then you discover the secrets and then you come back and you're this fearless guy who will go through life without fear and that's

bullshit i mean it's i like to sell it that way that would sound cool but i'm not in the business of bullshitting myself or anybody else so i'm like it's not the the seven steps to get you rid of fear is not that stuff it's uh because to me my experience of dealing with fear is a fucking constant battle you know it's like you wake up um you wake up one day and maybe you learn to deal with it 0.01 percent better and that's a win and then the next day it hits you again and you have to deal with it again like for me in particular what afterwards what happened is the reality of realizing that everything is fleeting everything can be taken away from you everything you care about can go in the snap

of a finger that really freaked me out you know that is one thing to know it intellectually is one thing when it hits home for real and so once in a while you know i'll have my days when i'm totally fine i feel strong i feel great and and then all of a sudden will hit me when the paralyzing thought of man everybody i love will die uh there's i have limited control of what's going to happen in my life everything i care about can be taken away from me in a second shit welcome to your day now deal with the next 24 hours it's like it's heavy and so dealing with that aspect finding ways to and you know and then i find a way to do it and then a month later we'll hit you again and maybe because you found a way to do it and then a month later will hit you again

And maybe because you found a way to do it before he told it the last but don't you think that's everybody? I mean, there's no one this that there's a false narrative that someone's figured out how to get rid of fear It doesn't exist exactly if you have no fear that means that you're not experiencing any danger or anything unknown and Somehow or another you're immortal. Because if you think about the consequences of death, you're going to get nervous. You're going to get afraid. If you're taking any sort of risks or chances, you're going to get nervous. It's part of being a person.

It's part of what's fun about getting things done and succeeding is knowing all the mental roadblocks that are in place to keep you from being successful. Big time. And that's why I completely agree with you they affect everybody so to me this is just you know this is my experience but it's like it's not that i have any illusion that a i'm fighting battles that are unknown to other people because the reality is that everybody has shit to deal with in their life you know everybody has horrible things happen to them everybody and you know horrible may vary from one person to the next. You may be slightly luckier than the next guy. But the reality is that everybody deal with it.

So the question of how do you deal with it? What are the things that help you get the job done and which ones? That's one of the great things about martial arts is that dealing with the fear and the pressure and stress of training, it helps mitigate some of the pressure and stress of training it helps mitigate some of the pressures and stresses of everyday life that's that's exactly that's why you know when i went to some publishers initially they were like ah you know hold your wife life after we got that part but what the fuck does martial art have to do with it i'm like this has everything to do with it you know because those are the same dynamics but i get to train them in

a safe space in martial art contest and then you apply them to the real game on the bigger scale in life. And it's a controlled space in terms of it's going to happen at 8.30 on Tuesday night. Exactly. You get in there. It's like you can prepare for it, you eat for it, you make sure you have your meal digested in your stomach before you get there, you have a cup of coffee before you get to the gym, you stretch out, you prepare yourself, and then you go through it. But in doing that, it definitely helps. I've had so many Twitter messages and Facebook messages and people that I meet after shows that told me that they

started jujitsu after listening to this podcast, and it changed their life, and that it helps them so much deal with pressure and now in pursuing a healthy lifestyle. Like even guys like Anthony Bourdain, who was in his 50s. I believe he was 58 when he started jujitsu. 58. 58. 57 or 58. He was a lifetime smoker, heroin user, like pretty much abused everything, alcohol, everything.

Now is way more healthy. He's off, I talked to him, off statins, off of high blood pressure medication, lost 30 pounds just from training, eats healthy, still likes to party it up a little bit, smoke a little weed and get a little booze on. But the guy looks great. He looks great, and he's obsessed with jiu-Jitsu and he loves it and it sort of transformed his life You know, his wife is a phenom. Yeah, I saw I saw Octaviusm she's a beast she trains every day. She's essentially I mean she's that's her life her life is training

She loves it and it just got him it got him She said that she talked him into doing it by promising him narcotics Which is one of the most hilarious stories ever She said like if you if you come to train with me, I'll give you some Vicodin. I was like, I'm in. Well, he's one of the few guys that has been, like, a self-professed junkie, but was not only able to kick it, but, you know, still will get high, still drink, and obviously doesn't have a problem.

He's very healthy. Doesn't do anything when he's at home. You know, when he's on the road and, you know, he's filming a show and the filming's done, he'll, you know, have a few drinks or even while filming, you know. But it's not like he's got a problem. He definitely doesn't have a problem. I've hung out with him.

He's healthy. Hey, that's as good as it gets. Yeah. You got to party without paying the price. But it's amazing because everybody has this idea, or most people, that are in recovery, that you can't do anything. There's very few people I know that will do something. I know a few guys who had alcohol problems will smoke a little pot or do little mushrooms every now and then or something like that. But he's one of those guys that he'll do everything other than the heroin.

Well, I mean, if you can, that I think is everybody's psychology is different. that but he's one of those guys that he'll he'll do everything other than the heroin you know well i mean if you can that i think is everybody's psychology is different some people once they open the door a tiny bit they can tell it's like then i need to open it all the way i can't stop then if you know you're that kind of person yeah then don't open it a tiny bit then you shouldn't but if you are not then what the hell is wrong with enjoying a little bit if you can you know you really i think it depends person to person. Some people can do that. Other people have to go call Turkey or they can't.

Yeah, that's definite. That's definitely true. It's just cool to see someone do something positive. It always is because it gives you like inspiration is a real fuel for human beings. When you see your friends or someone you know that you like and they're doing something that's really transforming them and helping them,

it fires you up too. Yeah, I'm like the biggest wimp. Every time I see your cheesiest inspirational video, I start crying like a baby. I'm like, that is so moving. It's like every single time,

you know. I'm like that too. I'm such a bitch. I'm such a bitch. I don't cry over sad shit that much though. It's weird. No, I know. My cat died. I didn't cry. I've had her'm such a bitch i don't cry over sad shit that much though it's weird like my cat died i didn't cry i knew i've had her for 19 years i didn't cry i felt bad right i felt sad but i you know i felt like well she lived a great life and she was a cool cat

but um it's not like uh something cool happens something cool happens i'm like wow you know yeah i have the same thing man it's I think Krom would kick us out of Valhalla. We would be like, come on, you cry for that? What a bitch. Where does Krom hang out? He's not in Valhalla. He has a different place, right? I forget where it is.

Not sure. They mix it up a little. So their cosmology is a little, they play it loose. Yeah, I don't remember where Krom hung out. The decor is probably severe human hands. Some guy was giving me a hard time on Twitter the other day. And just for a goof, his spelling was so atrocious. I was like, oh, my God, what is this guy into?

I love it when people get mad at me. It was like a Ted Cruz post that he got mad at me over. So I went to his Twitter page. over uh so i went to his twitter page and uh i was just reading these posts about him looking up into the heavens wondering what you know what god is like living in the clouds like this motherfucker's serious like dude we could you could drive a fucking plane through the clouds asshole all right there's nothing up there okay that shit was back when people didn't have planes that's right now that we have planes you can't say that god's right up there man in the clouds no no no fucking southwest is up there they're going right through the clouds with a jet they're

giving out free peanuts if you look real careful while you're eating your peanuts you may see dog god ducking trying to avoid the planes. God damn it. These Ted Cruz motherfuckers are scary. They got a little victory under their belt in Iowa, and they're doubling down on the Bible readings. That's scary to me. Oh, that fucking guy. The Democratic Party sucks, but the Republican Party has gone so far off the deep end that it's just downright nuts.

Well, did you ever see that? off the deep end that is just downright nuts. Well, did you ever see that? I tweeted a quote the other day from Barry Goldwater, where Barry Goldwater back in the 50s had recognized that there was an issue with preachers and ministers and getting involved in the Republican Party that they would ruin it. I know. That's the scary thing is that you go back 50 years to the guys who were considered nut cases back in the day, and they would be considered moderate centrist today.

They would be like, oh, Barry Goldwater, what a reasonable voice, you know? Well, he was the one who was warning against it. Right. No, exactly. That's what I mean. He's like, he had some positions that were a bit on the extreme end, but he also had a bunch of others

that were very, very reasonable, the way he made sense, you know? And today he would be seen as a fucking liberal. Look at that guy. Yeah. These are strange times where it's the most, it's kind of strange because this is the most advanced as far as our ability to access information.

It's never been like this before. And as far as our ability to access studies and find out the actual real scientific facts about certain things. But this is like, it's more important now to profess a love or a belief in God when you're running for president, I think, than ever. Than ever. You have to say it.

Like everybody has to say it. Yeah, there's never been once a guy who could just skirt a question and not discuss it. You have to go in and say it. Do you believe what I believe or not? Exactly. Do you believe what I believe? Because I'm about to give you a vote.

I want to make sure. Like, whoa. I try to stay away from all the political discussions because there's no point. Within about 0.1 second, it becomes, fuck you, fuck you. And it's just, there's not even a- Yeah.

There's not even an- Like, I get it. If we disagree, there's controversy. Okay, that can be fun. That can be interesting as hell. We can even learn some stuff from each other. But that's not even that point. It's just pure, crazy, extremist insults back and forth.

And I'm like, eh. This is my all-time favorite election. All time. Because it's the stupidest. It's the shittiest choices. The least inspired candidates. This is the best one for me. This is the best. That's the Danittiest choices, the least inspired candidates. This is the best one for me. This is the best.

That's the Dan Carley thing. He had a whole show going on about how happy he was that Donald Trump was in the race for entertainment factor. And also because he was making a good point because he said, look, like in the primaries, for example, in the Republican primaries, the game is you have to go 0.1 millimeter more conservative than the next guy to win the primaries. But you don't want to go too far because otherwise you lose the general election. And you have Trump who steps in and he goes like 20 yards past everybody else. And so everybody else is like, shit, if I don't follow him, I lose the primary. But if I follow him, I'm done in the general. So that was having a blast with that.

He was laughing his ass off. I need to know, which episode is that? It's a common sense episode. One of the, maybe after the first Republican debate. That's what it was. Oh God, I gotta go listen to that. And it was, it's true. I mean, that's, that's the way it is.

Well, Donald Trump has nothing to lose. Yeah. Like, I don't think he really wants to be president. I really don't think he does. And I think that's why he's so outrageous. Right. But I think along the way, he's kind of fucked himself because this is what people have been asking for people for the longest time have wanted someone believe him or don't believe him agree with him or don't agree with

him he's speaking his mind right what he's saying he's saying because he doesn't give a fuck there's no filter whatsoever he's talking about Mexicans well someone's doing the raping. Yeah. Like, what the fuck? I know that. This guy's running for president. And he's talking about putting a wall up, like some fucking Berlin wall up between us and Mexico. Like, holy shit, man. That seems reasonable, doesn't it?

Fuck, man. We're going to let over the rapists. Yeah. Well, there's no rapists. Well, someone's doing the raping. Someone's doing the raping. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Half of the things you read, you can't even check. Like, it's maybe an onion site, or it's hard to keep track of which ones are the real ones and which ones are the bullshit ones, because they are so similar. That's the problem. You can't tell the difference. There was one where they asked him something about what does it take to make America great again. And he ran through this whole speech where he's clearly not answering. You know, he's running around just throwing words out that have nothing to do with the question. And then he tends with him going like, oh, look at the guy with the red hat.

Please stand up. That's an awesome hat. He's like completely distracted. Like, I'm going to leave this question because I don't want to deal with it. Look at the guy with the red hat stand-up. That's an awesome... Yeah, well, he's a good media man. He's very good at...

He's been doing interviews for years and he's also been on that reality show for a long time. He got fired from it while running for this election because of the inflammatory stuff he said about Mexicans. No, it's...

But I agree with you. This is entertaining. It passed the point of being sad to the point that it's entertaining. That's why I would dig a general election Trump against Sanders because at that point it's just so wild and weird that it's enjoyable. If you get

the professional guys where they measure every single statement, Hillary Clinton, it's boring. You can write already every single statement. You know, Hillary Clinton. It's boring. You can write already every single speech. You know already what's going to happen. With some of these guys, you have no idea what the hell is going to come out of their mouth. It makes it for, hey, at least I get to watch something that doesn't put me to sleep there.

Well, you want to talk about what put me to sleep. Hillary Clinton puts me to sleep. God, there is nothing inspiring about what she's saying. Nothing inspiring about her presence or her speeches. But I think my daughter, my seven-year-old daughter said it best. She goes, I would vote for her because she's a girl.

That's, a lot of people feel like that. I know, I know, I know. They're like, fuck it. We had a black man. Let's have a white girl. Right. But it's like, maybe you can pick some, okay, sure, you want that. Pick somebody better. Jesus.

Who's better? Elizabeth Warren? No, I know. She's not in anymore, right? She dropped out. But when she was running, they found out that she wasn't really Native American

and she tried to fake that she was Native American. In fact, wouldn't she get a scholarship or something for that? I think that's what it was. Fuck. The drama of the whole.

You can't fake. That's one thing you can't fake. You can fake like you're that's what it was. Fuck. The drama of the whole. You can't fake. That's one thing you can't fake. You can fake like you're one-eighth Swedish. Right. They won't give you a hard time about it. Yeah.

But if you say you're one-eighth Native American, it turns out, oh, no, that's fucking... Native American is like noble and mystical and you have like magic fucking eagle power

so you can hear like a wolf. Isn't that trippy? If you watch all the pre-1960s movies they were all like bad indians who come in to scalp you and chop your head off why because they're indians who the fuck knows why it's like the dragon in the story right post-1960s is all hug the furry creatures of the forest have visions and it's like you know what it was it was that guy in the commercial that cried when he saw the ground the garbage on the ground

oh that's what it was and incidentally that guy too was not that cried when he saw the garbage on the ground. That's what it was. And incidentally, that guy too was not Indian. He was Italian. Exactly. How fucked up is that? That guy in that commercial where the Indians cry because white men are littering. But from the 60s on, we've sort of associated Native Americans with spiritual things. Like dream catchers.

Yeah, this guy. that guy is a Guinea. He's from fucking the same Island as me. Look at him. He's in his canoe. He's seeing that. Pick it up. You fuck. You're driving right past it.

You don't have to just look at it, dude. Throw it away. Jesus Christ. Give a hoot. Don't pollute. But you know, give a damn. Pick that shit up. Those commercials, man.

And he would pull up in his stupid fucking buffalo skin canoe and cry. Yeah. Look at that. That guy's so Italian. He could be on The Sopranos. I know. They made him wear a wig and shit. Yeah.

People are throwing things out the window right at his feet. And he cries. Oh, he's crying. Again, Cromwell would banish you from Valhalla. Don't cry. Do something about it, bitch. Keep America beautiful. Yeah, well, he definitely shouldn't be, like, hanging out by the highway either.

Yeah, that doesn't tell. Just standing there with his moccasins on and shit. Yeah, but Native Americans, from like that point on, they're associated with like sweat lodges and peyote ceremonies and spiritual things. You know, we have these ideas. There's a lot of people, they have these ideas of Native Americans

that they lived off the land and they used every last piece of the animal and they had a spiritual connection to their surroundings, which, you know, a lot of it there's a there's a lot of truth in that but that's the problem with all stereotypes right you take something that's partially true and then you blow it up or the entirety of the experience and then you turn with the caricature that does you know it's at that point is very far from the real deal well my friend Steven Rinella the host of the

meat-eater has the best stories of Native Americans. He has a deep knowledge of the history of Native Americans, and he's got some fantastic stories about the Nez Perce. First of all, they were fucking cannibals. That was super common to not only attack neighboring tribes, but to eat them. Eat their babies, eat their family. Yeah, eat them. Really? Yeah, eat their family. Yeah, eat them. Really? Yeah, there's a lot of cannibalism going on in the Old West,

especially apparently amongst the Great Lakes area, in the Great Lakes area. Oh, yeah, that for sure. Why is that? Is it just because the climate was harsh? No, different people. It's kind of like the culture. In fact, that's why it's hard to generalize with these things because among native stuff, there's so much difference.

The guys from the Great Lakes have nothing to do with the guys from the plains who have nothing to do with so each one is but yeah great lake stuff is pretty intense the the part that i dig the most about that is on you would go out to get captives you know you go on a war raid you get captives and once you you get captured you have one of two options if they like you then they adopt you as a family member you replace one of their dead family members and you get treated that way you are loved you're brought in you they don't like you so much then they torture you to death over a four-day period so there's it's yeah it's both things can happen it's a kind of a flip of a coin there which i guess if you're hillary clinton is a good, but for everybody else not so much. Yeah, he told me this story of this

one guy who got captured. There was two guys captured. One guy, they killed him, killed him in front of his friend, and then they told him, I think they might have ate him in front of his friend too. They killed him and then they told him, we're going to take off all your clothes and we're going to let you run. And if you can

get away, you can live. And so this motherfucker ran like the wind, jumped in the freezing cold river, and hid in a beaver dam. He got smart enough to climb up into a beaver dam, which, by the way, is a risk and a fucking half, because what if you climb in there and the beaver's in there?

That beaver's going to fuck you up. People have died from beavers before. If a beaver bites your artery, I mean, they can chew. They chew through a tree. They'll fuck you up and this guy he fucking made it

and he walked for days and some ungodly amount of miles naked by the way freezing cold lived off of whatever he'd grab and stuff in his mouth and eat and managed to survive some crazy way

and lived to tell the story no in fact some of the that's what I dig like for history on, those kind of stories that are so, like, it's like, come on, the screenwriter from Game of Thrones wrote that, right? It can be real. And then you dig it and it's like, no, there's real

and there's wars and it's more intense than anything you could imagine. Isn't The Revenant, isn't that based on a real story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, yeah, that dude is, that guy has a brilliant tale. They kind of tailored it a little bit. You know, there was no Indian son. There was none of that part.

Oh, really? It's always an Indian. I know. You want to sell it to white people? You got to throw an Indian in there. The damn, like they being in the Black Hills area hunting and then the Grizzlies fucking him up. There's two guys leaving him for dead and taking off even with his rifle that's all true uh but yeah they they tweaked it a little bit somebody needs to write a movie about that sue akins lady that lives up in alaska because that lady got

she's the one who's on that show life below zero i heard about it i guess she lives 200 miles plus above the arctic circle in this place called kik. She was one of my guests on the podcast. She's amazing. Amazing. I mean, she is as fucking gangster as a human being can get. I bet. Just being awesome. Just so cool.

She's a really nice, intelligent woman. She's just like so powerful. Anyway, she was up there and she got attacked by a bear And fucked up, man, like real bad Like broke her hip, I think Broke her leg, fucked her head up I think it cracked her skull Like serious, serious injuries She survived, she crawled back

To her dwelling She doesn't even live in a house Because where she lives, you're not allowed to put permanent Residences, so they're like Tent things that are up there Yeah, you're not allowed to put permanent residences. So they're like tent things that are up there. Wow. Yeah, they're made out of cloth. These like weird sort of buildings with like wire structures and thick canvas tops.

She was there for days before someone, she owns like a refueling station up there. Someone flew in, they found her. They brought her to medical help and patched her up, fixed her up. She heals up, goes back, shoots that bear and eats it. That's the way you want to do it. That bitch is gangster as fuck. Yeah.

You imagine eating a bear just cutting into, yeah, you motherfucker. Not so cocky now, bitch. That's a badass revenge tale. That's the way you want to do it. Fuck yeah, man. So to her watching The Revenant, he's like, eh, that's Tuesday morning, whatever. Fuck yeah, you want to do it. Fuck yeah, man. So to her, watching The Revenant is like, eh, that's Tuesday morning, whatever. Come on, pussy. I mean, it's amazing.

It's an amazing story. I mean, anybody who would live in a cloth tent north of the Arctic, I mean, that Wim Hof would be proud, right? And she's a grandma. Yeah, of course. It's like pinch the grandkids' kids after eating the bear's heart. Jesus Christ. She's crazy. Yeah.

But that's what she enjoys. She enjoys living out there in the wilderness with the wolves and the foxes and the bears and the caribou. She loves it. She loves going out and shooting her meals and bringing them home and cutting and does all the butchering, all the food she gets, she gets from the land around her. She's just a wild person. It's just like the life she loves. She found it and she's smart, man.

She could do a lot of shit. She's not an unresourceful person who's trapped up there. She just really, truly enjoys it. That's a choice. Fascinating person. Just absolutely fascinating person. She's one of my favorite it. That's a choice. Fascinating person. Just absolutely fascinating person. She's one of my

favorite all-time guests. I need to go back. Next to Daniele Bolleri. Of course. Of course. I need to go back and catch that one. I think I saw it was there

and I didn't catch it. I need to listen again. She's amazing. I'll weep myself for having missed it. I would like to go up there and hang out with her. Yeah, she sounds awesome.

I would have to go up there in the winter though otherwise I'd be a pussy. You can't go up there. Hey, just came in to see how hard it is in July. But I bet it's cold as fucking July, too. Yeah, exactly. But I think, what is the time of year where you go to see the Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights?

I haven't been, I don't know. I think that is a summer thing. Is that a summer thing or is that an all year round thing? No idea. I don't know either, but that would be worth traveling just to see. That's supposed to be insane. Yeah, that's beautiful. The whole sky is filled with green mist.

Either that or you can stay in LA and take mushrooms and you've got the same effect. That's better, right? Yeah. It's better. You don't have to be in Alaska. Fuck the bear and the snow. Do you ever been to Alaska? No, never.

You know what's crazy about it, man, is how big it is. Yeah. When you fly over it, you go like, Jesus Christ. And then you look at it on a map, you're like, what the fuck? That place is huge. I think it's the biggest state. Is it the biggest state? Is it?

Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. By far. By far, Jamie says. Yeah. I think it's like almost two Texases.

Seriously? Yeah. They do some really shitty job with maps. Yeah. Find out how many Texases fit in Alaska. Oh, they think it's like almost two Texases. Seriously? Then they do some really shitty job with maps. Find out how many Texases fit in Alaska. Oh, they do a shitty job with maps. Does not look like two times Texas. Well, have you ever seen how big Africa really is? Like, when people talk about

Africa, I think people get this idea that Africa, the continent of Africa is similar to the continent of North America. But it's not even close. Look at this. Whoa, Jesus Christ. Twice the size of Texas. Yeah, that is huge. God damn.

Alaska is larger than all but 18 sovereign countries. Holy shit. Look how big it is when you put it in the middle of America. Freaky. Fucking A, man. God, it's huge. And it's so lightly populated. It's amazing. I fucking love it up there. I's so lightly populated. It's amazing. I fucking love it up there.

I gotta get back. Two years ago, Ari Shafir and I did Anchorage. We did a comedy show up there and went salmon fishing. Saw my first moose ever. Saw some eagles for the first time. That was awesome. Eagles are awesome.

They were pretty intense. Oh, they're so strange when you look in a wild eagle in the eye. You know, even though it's kind of far away, they don't let you get that close to them. But when you're passing by, we were on a boat, and we're passing by these trees, and there's an eagle up in the tree, and you're like, whoa, what the fuck? They're big fucking animals, that's for sure.

They don't get hunted by people either, so they're not afraid of people. But, you know, they're not stupid either. But that place is a legitimately wild place in that when you get out of your car, you have to run to where you're going or you're going to get swarmed by mosquitoes. Yeah, that's what I heard about. That's the part that I didn't like about Alaska. When I heard it, I'm like, oh, it sounds awesome. And then I heard about the level of, like, how intense it is mosquito-wise.

I was like, shit, okay. Ari and I were laughing. We couldn't even believe it. Like, this is ridiculous. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, open up the car door, put your boots on, and just the time it takes to open the door and get your boots on, the car is filled with mosquitoes. Like, hundreds of mosquitoes. Like, like a swarm they find you instantly what's about the climate there that attracts mosquitoes so much i think they're just fucking desperado because they know they're only going to be alive for a month you know that's what i think and there's like three humans to bite and

yeah there's gotcha i think i mean do they they bite other animals yeah right definitely so i just don't think that they have much time i think they only stay alive for a short period of time so while they're at it they're at it so they are berserk or mosquitoes just going for it and well yeah that's a scary fucking place if you have yeah more so than florida you would think like florida mosquitoes would be the most rabid. That's how you figure. Tropical place, lots of humidity, all of that. They're like Florida people, though. They're fat and lazy.

Just taking it easy. It's like, ah, there'll be another tourist. I can get that one. I don't have to chase this one. Yeah. Florida has its own problems, though, man. Florida is so funny. They're doing a big python hunt now

because so many people have released pythons in florida that they they've bred and overbred they have like a gigantic python invasion problem to the point where they're offering rewards for people to kill pythons the headlines that come out of florida are one of the things that are a constant source of entertainment because you get things that are like, again, this must be the only, all right, it's too fucking crazy. Then you check it and it's like, no, that was real. That really happened. Yeah, there's a great Twitter page called Florida Man. It's just filled every day.

There's some new crazy shit some guy tried to do while huffing paint and fucking his dog. It's not a real state. What did I read? What was the last thing? Prison colony. This guy was robbing a house and I think the owners came back so the guy took off

and they were looking for him with flashlights so he dove in this pond right outside. Alligator. Exactly. They promptly ate him. Yeah, I've heard that before.

There was another one recently real similar where they were chasing this guy in a stolen car. The guy gets to a bridge, jumps off the bridge, and immediately gets jacked by an alligator. Like, literally jumped on an alligator. Good timing. Good job, man. But you gotta be fucking crazy to jump in the water with those things, man. If you've seen an alligator, they're big-ass fucking dinosaurs. They're not as dangerous as Nile crocodiles,

which coincidentally have also been released in the Everglades. They have a shoot-on-sight, kill-on-sight order. If anybody sees a Nile crocodile, you're supposed to kill them on sight because they've started to breed in the Everglades. So you're talking about those 18-, 20-foot-long, gigantic African crocodiles that take out wildebeests? Yeah. They live in Florida, too.

Yeah, that's a rough state. It's funny, man, because all the tree huggers are like, don't kill the pythons. It's not their fault. Like, okay. You know how big pythons get, you crazy bitch? They're going to eat your family. They'll eat babies.

They eat people. Fuck, man. It's Florida. The joys of nature. I've been watching Narcos on Netflix. How is it? I heard awesome things about it. So good.

I'm sad because there's only two episodes left. And I don't know if they're doing a second season. I don't know if they can. I mean, I think Pablo Escobar gets caught. I think that's the two episodes left. And I don't know if they're doing a second season. I don't know if they can. I mean, I think Pablo Escobar gets caught. I think that's the end of that. Unless it goes on further. I don't know, though. I wasn't totally aware of the entire story of Escobar.

I just knew that he was a drug dealer. And I knew, fuck, man. No, those guys don't mess around. It's so well done, too. This show's so well done. Yeah. No, that guys, it's so well done to the show. So well done. Yeah, no,

that's a, that's on my watch list. Cause I heard that it's every single person I talked with told me it's awesome. That's one of the, it's insane. He went to war. I mean, I don't want to tell anybody anything about it because it,

but it's, it's, it's fucking shocking and it builds up really well. Like it really builds up well from the early days of his drug dealer just finding out about drugs to the end well that's what's funny about it that people got all like oh the criminal the Mafia that when you look at like Mafia stories they are identical to the history of any state of any nation you know it's just the dynamics are you know one is a suit

and tie the other one is with a K-47. But other than that, the basic things are, it's a struggle for power. It's a game of fuck over your enemies, cheat the other one who can get you, do what you can to expand your... It's the same story over and over, whether you talk about Alexander the Great

or Pablo Escobar, it's not that different, really. No, it's not. The specifics are slightly different, but the big picture is not. It's a struggle for power, end of story. And it seems like when you get to the really high levels of finance and of volume and of the amount of troops and the amount of people that you're controlling, the area control, that's when the real atrocities kick in. that's when the real atrocities kick in.

Like you almost, it's almost universal that horrific acts get done to intimidate your enemy and to make sure that you retain control over certain, you know, areas. Yeah, it's one of the things where it's like, in that sense, human history is really kind of fucked up

and weird if you approach it through a moral lens because you see so many nasty things take place. sense human history is really kind of fucked up and weird when you if you approach it with them through a moral lens because you see so many nasty things take place and the weird ones are the ones where there really is no good solution where you don't know what the healthy thing would be like there's one that i was researching for a history on fire maybe a year from now or something i was researching this story from the 1980s in el salvador At that time, there was a right-wing government in El Salvador that the US government was supporting, and there was a leftist guerrilla. In the logic of the Cold War, there are only two options. You either are pro-communist or you are pro-US.

There's nothing in between. So in the process of fighting this leftist guerrilla, the government of El Salvador is doing nasty things. Anybody who criticizes them, doesn't matter whether they're a communist or not, get tortured to death, chop off their bodies, leave them in the government of El Salvador is doing nasty things, right? Anybody who criticizes them, doesn't matter whether they're a communist or not, get tortured to death, chop off their bodies, leave them in the middle of the street. American Congress at that point goes like, oh shit, you know, we can't really keep sending millions of dollars to these guys.

We're doing horrible human rights violations. So they passed this law that in order for any more aid to be sent to the governor of El Salvador, the president of the United States had to sign off on a document stating that these guys have made huge improvements in their human rights record, that they are on the right path, you know, it's getting better. Problem is, the deadline is coming up. Reagan is itching to be able to send out all these millions of dollars to the government of El Salvador. And in that moment, the Salvadorian army goes on this offensive against the guerrilla.

They find some villages that just wanted to be left the fuck alone. They were not pro-communist, but they were not anti-communist either. They were like a bunch of evangelical Christians, peasants who just wanted to farm their fields and be left alone. So they would let the communists go through. They would let the army go through. They figured if we stay neutral, everything works out, right?

Well, not in the Cold War. In the Cold War, there is no neutrality either on one side or the other. So Salvadorian army come in, grab every single villagers, separate the men from the women, kill all the men, rape all the women,

then kill them all, kill everybody in that village. And the New York Times did an article on it, and kill them all, kill everybody in that village. And the New York Times did an article on it. And Reagan was like, oh, shit, what do I do now? So he said, the guy who wrote this article is some crazy communist. None of this is true. It's a smear campaign against our allies. The government of El Salvador has made huge improvements and sending them millions of dollars. Of course, years down the road, turns out that the original story was true, that this stuff did happen. But other than bitching about Reagan, this is not even an anti-Reagan thing.

It's a messy situation because you do support the government of El Salvador. You're literally supporting death squads, child rapists. I mean, it doesn't really get any worse than that. You don't support them there's a chance that el salvador could turn into a communist state in which case he's not exactly like communism around the world as a high reputation for human rights it's fucking awful right so he's like what do you choose you know do you choose to support them or do you choose not it's like how do you see where i'm going like yeah it's a situation where no matter what you choose not? It's like, how do you, you see where I'm going? Like, it's a situation where no matter what you choose,

you're fucked. You're doing bad things. But clearly, the moment you're supporting that squad, that cannot be the right solution. Not that there, but at the same time, what is the right solution?

What is the good thing you should do? You know, Carter had the same exact problem. You know, right before Reagan, Carter, some guy, the Archbishop of El Salvador, this guy guy Oscar Romero, sent him a letter saying, stop fucking sending money to my government because they are doing horrible things with it. Carter was like, I don't want to look at this because this is politically troubling for me. So two weeks later, death squads walked into the main church in El Salvador. This guy was celebrating mass.

They gunned him down, killed him. So it's not a Republican or Democratic thing. It's like both sides of the game there did not know how to handle this in a situation where it's like, which mass murders do we support and which ones do we oppose? Because that's the reality of it. It was like, those are the stories. We're like, what the fuck do you do? What is the right thing to do in those cases? There almost is no right thing.

Right. Exactly. When you're dealing with certain parts of the world that have been embattled, they've been just entangled in these horrible, bitter feuds and rivalries, horrible things get done in war. And when you're dealing with two horrible groups and you can't really differentiate substantially one being more moral or ethical over the other one. And oftentimes, like if you were more moral or more ethical, you wouldn't survive in those

terrible environments. Like you have to do horrible things just in order to stay above water. And in fact, that's what keeps it these stories keep you on your toes because if you condemn one and not the other you're an hypocrite if you condemn the other and not the first you're an hypocrite if we get even to what we are saying which is the right thing right it's like well it's a fucked up situation and you have to do terrible things if you say too easily it's like oh yeah well so go chop the kids that head off no big deal so you you have to you say it but you you have to, you say it,

but you also have to say the opposite. It's like, it's a weird dynamic there where there's no real place where you feel comfortable. Like, ah, that was the right thing to do. I'm glad we made the right call. Now I can go to sleep, sleeping easy and stuff. Well, let me ask you this, because you're a legit historian.

Was there ever a time in human history where there was like a noble ethical government of any sort of an empire or country that didn't engage in any human rights and did the right thing like was there a utopian government at any time in history no i think you get these different degrees of fucked up right some degrees you're like ah that's not that bad come on we can we can live with that but we can live with that does not mean it's good It's still kind of shit is just a lot less shitty than the alternatives. Like outside of modern times, what's the most utopian version of a government that ever sort of ran? run into societies where maybe like for example if you have low population density hunters and gather but the key word being low population density because once you have too many people

they compete for hunting grounds and they do horrible things to each other but if you have a relatively low population density these guys there's really no reason to go to war with another tribe over wealth because you are nomadic you have to fucking carry it on your back you don't want i don't want your shit i have to carry it then your back. You don't want, I don't want your shit. I have to carry it then. That's hard work. So you don't fight over wealth. You don't fight over religion because most of these guys have a kind of inclusive approach

where whatever you do that works good for you. There's no competition there. So you have removed two huge things that people do nasty things to each other over. They're still fighting over hunting grounds. They're still fighting over women. So that will still happen. But so it's not an idea like utopia. Oh, those noble hunters and gatherers who could do no wrong. No, they did horrible things to each other. They just had less reasons to do so than later societies. Right. So agriculture and cities and civilizations,

that's when things started getting really rough. Well, I mean, again, it's the plus and the minus, right? The plus is because you stay in one place and you can accumulate wealth. Now, I don't have to carry everything I own on my back every few days. I can sit in one place and accumulate wealth. You do start seeing the growth of social classes.

You do start seeing, I mean, among hunters and gatherers, you don't have a rich hunter and gatherer and a poor one. You know, everybody's kind of on the same game. When you become sedentary, you can accumulate wealth. And so you do start seeing this game played out in the good way. You know, people who have the resources to dedicate themselves to stuff other than working for a living and so on. And in a horrible way with all the nastiness that take place over the fighting over,

I want your shit, I'm gonna slaughter your family in order to get what I want, you know? So it's, that's why to me, when you read those, and as usual with human beings, there's always a good and bad kind of logic is you have the guys who are like, man, pre-agriculture suck. It was a horrible, harsh life where it was terrible

and agriculture freed everybody and states are wonderful and all that. There's an element of truth to that and there's also an element that's not and vice versa. The guy who idealized hunters and gatherers says the best you once ever and they could do no wrong. It's like up to a point, you know, in both scenarios, there are some huge advantages and some huge disadvantages.

It's just that they change which ones they are. Yeah. When you get so much wealth and so much prosperity that you start getting royalty and you start getting people that accumulate massive amounts of wealth, and then they have this incredible ability to control all the people around them and everyone's fearful of them because they have ultimate power. They can never be killed instantly and face new repercussions. I was reading this article about this guy who was some Middle Eastern prince and he was living in Beverly Hills. Did you hear about this guy?

No, which one? What did he do? He was sexually assaulting people that worked for him. Oh, yeah, yeah. And they arrested him and then he fleed the country. Yep. Got away with it. But he was saying like,

you know, you can't do shit to me. I'm a prince. You know, he was like saying that to them. Like, it's 2016 and he's still like, I'm a prince.

Shit, I had to. There wasn't even one like that. Fuck, I wish I remembered the details. I kind of lost them. I think, I don't want to say it.

Well, there was two of them real recently. There was one, maybe you remember it, but there was one where the justification was I didn't rape her I fell on her and I just happened to be aroused and I accidentally penetrated yeah exactly and that's the best part he was fucking acquitted that was in the UK though that was in the UK the worst defense in the history like if you can come up like how are we gonna defend these guys let's figure it out like she was underage yeah you get laughed out of

the room it's like the worst defense ever and she got acquitted see if you can find that he fell on her and but how did they quit him they whoever like was on that jury I guess it was a jury or whatever the judges follow that guy forever yeah I would check their bank accounts for a long time. Somewhere you're going to find a hole in the ground with a bag of gold. Here it is. British man who told police he may have penetrated teenager after falling on top of her, cleared of rape. Whoa.

British millionaire who told the police he may have penetrated teenager after falling on top of her, has been cleared of rape. Try saying that name. Eshan Abdulaziz was accused of forcing himself. Oh, she was 18. 18 as she slept on the sofa in his Lincoln apartment after a night of drinking at an exclusive nightclub. When he was questioned, the 46-year-old businessman said he had slipped and fallen on top of the girl, which may have caused his penis to penetrate her.

I'm fragile. I fell down, but nothing ever happened between me and this girl. I'm fragile. Yeah, what? So I can keep my balance, you know, but apparently I have great aim because somehow I managed to find her vagina. The jury acquitted him of one count of rape after just 30 minutes of deliberations. Wow. That jury.

Somebody got paid. They're going to be in Cancun. Big time. They're going to be on a fucking yacht balling. Do, do. Like a Jay-Z video. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. There's also fear, too.

When someone has that kind of money, you got to wonder. Is he a billionaire to say B.I. or M.I.? Well, pussy. He doesn't even have a billion. Come on, son. I wonder how he got away with that. That doesn't make any sense. Unless they just picked a super sympathetic pro-Muslim.

I'm assuming he's Muslim with that name. Pro-Muslim jury. But even then, I mean, it's like, come on. How did they do it? Well, I really think what you laid out is the I'll buy you option or I'll have you killed option are really the only two logical explanations because other than that, this is not a defense. This is a late-night joke.

First of all, look at that guy's fat face and tell me that guy keeps a raging erection all the time while he's walking around. That guy's not healthy at all. You're not 15. You're not like some young boy with a throbbing heart on that he just literally runs his life. That guy's probably lucky. Unless he's on Viagra, he's lucky if he can get it up. Yeah.

Look at him. It's all fat and swollen. That guy's not healthy enough to have a rod just all the time. Fucking raging boner. Oh, I slipped. Oh, I just got in there. His dick is like a heat-seeking missile. It just finds its way into

vaginas. All he has to do is fall near the girl. He just slips in there. Yeah, it's not that easy. You remember when you were 16? You have to work at it. Yes, you have to work at it. Jury acquitted him. Yeah, there's no justice in the world. If I was that girl's dad, or if I was that girl, or her mom, or anybody, just the girl herself.

Yeah, find that guy. Well, what is she saying? That she was asleep, and he just stuck his dick in her while she was out cold? Basically, yeah. And she woke up. Hey, fucker. He's like, I trip. I trip.

I trip. I fall inside you. No big deal. Imagine the odds. But imagine if that's really what happened. Like, what if he's, like, walking on hardwood floors and he's wearing socks and he steps on a piece of paper and just whoops. And she's not wearing anything.

And he goes flying through the air. He had claimed he had gone to see if the young woman wanted a t-shirt to sleep in or a taxi home. But he said she pulled him on top of her and placed his hand between her legs. Oh. His semen and DNA were found inside the young woman. But he said it was possible that he had semen on his hands from having sex with a 24 year old earlier We complicated Well, if he got semen on his hands, how did he get it inside of her?

Yeah, I slipped in my penis and my hands went inside of her her vagina is huge. It's cavernous he's oh god like that didn't even make any sense she pulled him on top of her and placed his hand between her legs boy that's a squirrely fucking story yeah hmm early hour the young woman said she had woken up in the early hours of the morning with Mr. Abdullah Aziz on top of her, forcing himself inside of her. He claimed he'd gone to see if the young woman wanted a t-shirt to sleep in or a taxi home. Okay, I believe her. How about that? I think his story sucks. Well, his story definitely sucks about like slipping and falling in her. That sucks.

But it sucks even more. I had gone to see if she wanted a t-shirt to sleep in or a taxi home what a wonderful person you are you are amazing did you also donate some money to a charity of her choice i was up all night trying to help orphans but also you think how stupid do you have to be to make up a story because you can say you can turn it into a he said kind of thing. No, it was consensual. No, it wasn't, you know,

then it's harder to prove, right? There's an argument there. This is like the most fucking ridiculous story ever. How do you even sit down and say, no, no, I'm not going to go for the consensual thing.

I'm going to make up this crazy, weird ass tale. It's like, he make no sense. Meanwhile, he's free right now with his feet up on the coffee table, smoking a fat Cuban cigar, laughing, probably getting his dick sucked by some Russian. He's free right now with his feet up on the coffee table, smoking a fat Cuban cigar, laughing.

Probably getting his dick sucked by some Russian hooker. That's probably why the first few seasons of Dexter were so popular, right? Before they fucked it up and it was still a good show. First season was awesome. Because everybody's got that thing, right? There's so much nasty shit that happened in the world with no repercussions that everybody's got the fantasy of, fuck you, I'm going to get you. Boy, did they fuck that show up. Yeah. They took that, that show was like a work of art that the writers from Murder, She Wrote

got a hold of. And they just started just shitting in the mouth of every character. Yeah, it became really bad. God, it was awful. It was so bad. People kept telling me, no, no no you got to give it a chance it gets better fuck you i don't have that kind of time in my life i in a masochistic effort i stuck through it all i've seen did you really episode every single season yeah i did not get any better

by the end it was i think you know you get you get sucked in because you get the first three four five whatever many seasons the first few are good right and then you got like three four more that are really not and but you're like no but maybe they'll get the next one right you know it's like yeah that didn't know that you know when i watched um that i i really didn't realize what it was when it first came out but it had it really changed was the first episode of the sopranos it was a comedy yep it was well i mean yeah in a weird way but yeah there was a lot of comedic element for sure like when the the woman had the machine gun and she ran outside with the ak-47 the wife like that was so out of character like who she became later in the show like that episode was like it was this preposterous gang family you know mob family it was weird but even

they have some moments in there. I remember even the end of season one where they were chasing this dude through the woods to shoot him, and the dude is screaming all of a sudden. He's like, you got shot? And he's like, no, fuck, poison ivy. And he's all pissed off about that. They throw in these weird elements to make it.

It was really well written. Yeah, it was definitely really well written, and it got better. As it got darker and weirder, it got better. That was like one of the few shows ever where they figured out a way for you to feel sympathetic about a murderer. Oh, yeah. Because Tony Soprano wasn't a murderer. Absolutely.

But you liked him. You liked him, yeah. I even had, I remember having nightmares of, shit, the FBI is trying to get me. I have to hide this stuff. I was all like, because you relate to is trying to get me. I have to hide this stuff. I was all like, because you relate to the guy. Or at least I did. I don't know.

I felt like. It's that fucking accent of yours. Yeah, that's probably what he was. Italian heritage. Your last name as well. Yeah. It was a dark time for Italian-Americans, though, because everybody wanted to be connected to the mob back then.

All those really dumb East Coast guineas were so celebratory, and they were upping East Coast guineas were like so celebratory and they were upping all their guineas. That's painful. They would crank it up to a 10. Hey, this fucking guy with the thing in the goes. I blame the Sopranos for Jersey Shore. I think that was a direct connection there.

I think you have a point. Yeah, and the Real Housewives of Jersey, which is the most disgusting version of Real Housewives. Yeah,. Yeah, and the Real Housewives of Jersey, which is the most disgusting version of Real Housewives. Yeah, that was pretty bad. Real Housewives of Miami, they should just give them knives. They should just give

those bitches knives and let them cut each other. Those are fucking savages. But Jersey's the grossest. And then, now that one family, the woman's in jail and she's doing time

and then she gets out, the husband's got to go in because only one can stay out and watch the kids. Take turns. Yeah, they're taking turns. I think it's like a tax evasion thing, right? They high five each other

on the way in and out. It's like, okay, your turn now. Go. I'm in favor of people going to jail for stealing things, but man, that tax evasion thing is a tricky one. How about you just fucking pay what you owe?

Yeah. How come that's the only time when you owe something, you go to jail? If you owe credit card money, you have to pay it you owe. Yeah. How come that's the only time when you owe something, you go to jail? Like, if you owe credit card money, you have to pay it. Right. You know, you owe student loan money, you have to pay it. You owe taxes, go to jail, bitch.

Block you in a cage. Yeah, that's nuts. It's gangster. They're the big gangsters. That's what I mean. That's exactly what I was saying about sort of mafia and government being identical. It's the same shit.

I mean, even, like like the mafia is funny because a lot of the early mafia stuff came up as a form of government you know when like in southern italy when they were invaded by the spaniards by the french so the government was not on the people side they were occupying force trying to squeeze as much wealth out of the country as possible so because they couldn't turn to the government a lot of the people started turning to this like made up local organization which eventually because they provide all these services but they are also the mafia you know they do yeah and so the original stuff you can see the logic why beside the criminal element and then it devolves completely into just criminal element and nothing else but it's like there's a reason why you know there's a logic to it and it's it

mirrors a state in every level you know the hierarchy of it all the way they handle business you know the whole thing is mirrored on the state yeah and if you you look at the amount of atrocities committed per capita i mean it's probably pretty similar i mean the mafia does some awful shit but so government yeah so does the military so i, think about the amount of innocent people that are accidentally killed every day. All the time. Just during military actions. Yeah. That's why, to me, the big war, the conquerors or the mafia bosses, that's why, to me, the stories are the same thing.

It's about the guys struggling for power against these enemies. It's the same thing over and over, you know. Yeah, the mafia has its ancient system the same thing over and over. Yeah, the mafia has its ancient system of government and laws and rules and so do the Sandinistas, so do the Contras, so does...

You can go down the line. So did Genghis Khan, so did Alexander the Great. They all had their own sort of systems of government and rules that you had to live by. Speaking of Genghis Khan, did you check out the show Marco Polo? Yes. It's good.

I liked it. It's a good show. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't finish it. They did a prequel right now. They did like a half hour on the badass Taoist monk. Yeah.

It's pretty cool. I dug it. Wow. It's well written. It's good stuff. It's a very expensive show apparently. Is it? Yeah.

Because the sets are massive. Yeah. And they make it look like the Mongol era, like it's the 1200s. I hope they don't cancel it for money, because you know which one they cancel for money that killed me? Probably my favorite show of all times. You ever seen Rome? No.

The HBO one? No. Oh, that was so good. Was it really? Amazing. Really? The reconstruction, it's a trip it's so good i don't know it was back where was it 2004 or 5 something like that was it that long yeah it was a while back but they only did two seasons but they are fucking awesome like every episode i watch every season twice so maybe even more it was that good the main character um is pretty much a

variation on conan it's so cool and the oddly enough the guy who created the show was john millius was the guy who directed the first conan was the guy who was behind uh part of the creative directing of the early ufc he's the guy who wrote apocalypseocalypse Now. He's standing so many of the things I dig. But yeah, that show, man, if you have never seen it, check it out. I mean, today looks tame by comparison because so much stuff has been done afterwards that just takes it ten notches.

But for the time, it was also pretty intense with nudity and violence and the grittiness of it all. It's an awesome show, man. So it sort of opened the door maybe for things like Game of Thrones? Big time. Big, big time. It's funny how a show like that didn't catch on, but a show like Game of Thrones does, you know, or Sopranos does.

I think what it was is Rome was actually doing fairly well, but not well enough for the budget. I think the budget was too inflated compared to the results. The results were good. You know, people liked it. The critical reviews were great. It had an audience. It was good.

But the Sopranos, you shoot it in somebody's house, the budget is not going to be what you have to recreate Ancient Rome on a grand scale. It's a different kind of game right there. So HBO, I think it wasn't that, oh, this show is tanking.

This show is doing well, but it costs too much fucking money. Those shows, they didn't have the option of selling on my itunes back then did they no exactly that's what in 2004 did they have itunes back then they kind of did right i want to say if they even did it would have been set much the early stages that isn't that crazy fucking 10 years ago i know but it's another universe completely it might as well

be yeah with everything with social media with with everything. It's a whole other universe. How many podcasts were around back then? Was there like a few people started fucking with it, but nothing on a big scale yet? It's probably something. There's probably something. This podcast has been around for six years. So since 2009, 9, 10, somewhere around then. I think we were doing it in December of 2009.

So right before 2010. Well, I'm not sure when you started podcasting, Ward was a fraction of what it is today. Yeah, it was real small. Adam Carolla had one. And there was a few other ones. Adam Curry had one of the first ones and John Dvorak. Uh, but I didn't know about them. Right.

I didn't download them back then. I got the inspiration to do mine from Anthony Cumia because Anthony Cumia from Opie and Anthony had this set up in his basement where, uh, you know, he had a lot of money and he had a cool house and lived by himself so he put up a green screen and uh set up a stage where he had a nice desk and some real professional cameras and started doing this thing called live from the compound and live from the compound was like his own little fuck around have some fun at home show he had like guinness on tap and he would just drink and talk shit and it was really fun to watch.

And I realized I was like, wow, here's a guy that's on serious. You know, he's on the opening Anthony show. It's a very popular show on serious. And he's decided just for fun to do this thing in his basement. He's not making any money from it.

It's just for fun. And I thought about it and I said, you know what? I could probably do something like that. And so we started doing it off of just Ustream, just sitting there with a laptop talking shit. Right. So my podcast didn't become like an iTunes podcast for like a few months after the first one. We realized once we started collecting, we then took the audio and started putting it up on iTunes.

But there wasn't that much going on back then and then um we got in like right at the right time and then like in the next few years other comics started starting their own podcasts you know and then everybody you know all these different people bill burr and you know and diaz and duncan and everybody else started you know and Diaz and Duncan and everybody else are you know doing podcasts as well and they all took off well you are single-handedly responsible for like the growth of pod like there are so many podcasts that are people who came through your show and then went huh I should do one you know there's like a long list of people there's a few yeah I try to help them too I want them to do podcast I just think it's the best form of if you're a comic it's the best form of expression yeah where you can you could just you just talk people get to

know the actual you like 100 you you for three hours or whatever it is you do yours over the course of 700 and now we're like 750 something 755 yeah? Yeah, that's a lot of hours. 755 podcasts, most of them intoxicated. Good percentage of them. I know, I've seen that lately though. It hasn't happened as much. The intoxication? Yeah, in the... There's some conversations you can't have intoxicated.

I see, I see, I see. You'll just get too scatterbrained. You want to talk about Smurfs or fucking Yetis or something. In the middle of someone talking about the economy or Bitcoin. I feel you. Yeah, there's some that lend itself to it and some that don't. It's really completely dependent upon the guest and what the subject is. I like to mix it up too.

You know, that's the thing about being a marijuana enthusiast. Unless you're like a Doug Benson kind of guy who everybody just assumes is high 24-7. Because that's kind of his shtick. Even the name of his podcast, Getting Doug with High. I get it. You can't speak. You know what I mean? I don't think... Pot, pot I think is like everything else.

It shouldn't be all the time for everything. Yeah, ayagri. Everything, yeah. It could be a crutch, and it's not a crutch you want. No. It's a fun, beautiful aspect of nature and a great way to perturb your normal states of consciousness and give you some unique insight. And yeah, it's a lot of benefits.

It makes you feel good. It makes you enjoy wine. It makes me very friendly. Pot makes me want to hug people. Totally. You know? But I just think you should be cool with just life. I'm a big fan, though, I have to say.

I'm a huge fan of the effect that weed has on female sexuality. Yeah. The way, at least in my experience, women respond to weed. Oh, good God. The good ones do.

Yeah. My best ally ever. It's like, suddenly you feel like a God. You touch them and they have multiple orgasms and you're like,

that was easy. That didn't take much. Well, it makes hugs feel good. Just hugs. Forget about sex. Just smoke weed and hug. It feels amazing.

You ever done ecstasy? No. No. It's been on my to-do list, but I've had... You could hold hands with a dude when you're on ecstasy. And you wouldn't feel bad at all. You and a dude could be rubbing each other's hands. It doesn't feel bad at all.

Yes, that's the best thing ever. I would tell. One thing that it does, it's fucking terrible for your brain. At least I used to qualify that. When I did it, I probably did a little too much. And the next day I just was so fucking stupid. My brain didn't work good. I've talked to many people who don't have that problem,

but they don't have to do the same sort of things with their brain that I have to do. So it depends on what you do. If you go to work and you have a normal job and you have to do anything important and maybe you know great yeah maybe it's fine but if you're a person who has to think for a living and you have to do like stand-up comedy on stage or you have to write or it's a podcast or something like that I couldn't imagine doing ecstasy and then doing a UFC the next day yeah that would be rough I wouldn't be able to do it. Dan kind of the whole theory that there are these, I don't know what pills are they are,

but that you take after you take ecstasy. 5-HTP. Is that what it is that allow you not to have the downer afterwards? I've never done it, but I would imagine, you know, like I said, I only did ecstasy once. And the one I did, I just totally did it naturally. But I do take 5-HTP. I take New Mood, which is 5-HTP and L-tryptophan. That stuff definitely works.

But I've never done it in conjunction with acid or with molly or ecstasy. But actually, that's how it got invented. That's how New Mood got invented. Really? Yeah, Aubrey was trying to figure out a way to mitigate partying. I love Aubrey. He has the best ideas. got invented really yeah auburn was trying to figure out a way to mitigate partying i love but he has the best ideas i mean this is his period it was called roll off we were chatting the other day and he had this whole perfect scheme for basically having legal

prostitution by using like a porn loophole that you know if there's a camera rolling that it's porn it's not prostitution anditution it's true it's true i love you can even sign a contract yeah you could hire someone sign a contract to uh to have a porn film and even just for your own benefit right you'd have it for yourself as long as you're filming right that's hilarious it's so stupid but yeah i love the way obris brain work yeah brilliant he's not the only one that's thought that, I'm sure. No, I'm sure, but still. The porn loophole is how porn stars get away with doing quote-unquote prostitution. There's a girl that was at the comedy store, and she was telling guys that you could fuck her,

but you have to pay her her rate, and you have to turn a camera on. And she's like, I'm not a hooker. I'm like, okay, I don't even know what to say. I gotta go. Oh, no, I would have a hooker. I'm like, okay. I don't even know what to say. I got to go. Oh, no. I would have entertained that conversation for a while. Yeah.

I was getting ugly. He's getting, and he had this dude with her. I'm like, how does he fit in? Yeah. That complicates things a little bit. Well, he was like, I didn't know if he was the boyfriend or if he's the pimp, but he was like, he didn't, I mean, unless he had a gun, I don't know how he's going to protect her. The whole thing

was very strange but that's the comedy store the comedy store is a vortex of strange somehow or another it just drags those people to that one place on Sunset

nice that and the rainbow you ever go to the rainbow bar and grill it's the place where they when Lemmy died from Motorhead they saved a seat for him

oh that's awesome they have a seat that's permanently reserved. Permanently? Yeah, it's permanently reserved. I like that place already. Lemmy's seat. Yeah, they have candles there and shit.

Like maybe if one of his band members comes there and they're all sold out, they'll let him sit there. Maybe let him slide. Maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe you have to be a... If it's like Lemmy's friends. If it's Lemmy's friends and they want to sit at Lemmy's table, I think that should fly. That's okay. If it's Lemmy's friends and they want to sit at Lemmy's table, I think that should fly. That's okay.

I think I can see different factions going to war over it. It's like, no, this is for Lemmy, motherfucker. We cannot do that. And the other guys be like, this is friends. Come on, you can do it. Yeah. That's how religious warfare begins.

That is. Yeah, right? Like sacred. Anything sacred. Sacred ground. Sacred places. Sacred things, there's good and bad in them. There's definitely merit in sacred things.

But there's an area in Hawaii where the Keck Observatory is. And they wanted to construct a larger, bigger telescope. And apparently they have problems because the Native American, I guess Native American and Hawaiian, they're sort of Native American, they're Hawaiians. The people that live there have some sacred ground up there that they don't think that you're supposed to build on, which, you know, I get it. It's their spot, you know. All of a sudden some assholes come up there with a don't think that you're supposed to build on. Which, you know, I get it. It's their spot, you know. All of a sudden some assholes come up there with a telescope.

Yeah, I get that. Have you ever been up there to the Keck Observatory? Not to that one. Have you ever been to the Big Island? No, been only to Maui. Big Island is awesome. It's so strange because it's the biggest of the islands but it's the least populated of the Hawaiian islands.

And it's also one where it has all these different ecosystems all on one island like if you go like near the hilo side where bj pens from it's all like tropical it's beautiful god it rains all the time and it's lush and green it's magical but then you go to like the other side like the Kona side, and it's totally different. It's drier, and then there's areas that have these giant lava beds. That's a trip. I mean, the whole place is amazing. Have you seen the lava beds?

Yeah. I've seen some pretty crazy shit. I don't know. Hawaii is one of those places. It's kind of a mystery that it's even part of the US because it's in the middle of the fucking Pacific Ocean. It has nothing to do with anything, you know. But it's a beautiful place.

I can see how you want to. Well, how about Alaska? You have to fly through Canada to get to it. Yeah, exactly. It's not even connected. Those are bizarre. It's a frozen Puerto Rico. Yeah.

It's a frozen Puerto Rico. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, no, that's drapey right there. Yeah. No, but the thing you're saying about the sacred, and to me it's interesting because precisely because you hold something sacred to me you need to be able to have humor to laugh about it to not because you diminish its importance it's in order to avoid fucking up and

turn it into a dogma you know the one thing that keeps things loose like you speaking of american indian stuff and spirituality, I remember being like at some Lakota ceremonies where it was hilarious to see people who have grown up with it. So for them, it's the real thing versus like some white guys who come up

and they have their Hollywood fantasy about it's supposed to be, right? That's hilarious. That was during the break of this ceremony. They were giving, some of the Sundancers were giving the pipes

to some of the people who are supporting there, right? And these guys will take the pipe. They will smoke it. They will pass it to other people. And I gave it to this white lady who was clearly taking herself real seriously, right? So she's trying to light the pipe, and she can't, and she fails, and she fails, and she tries. And then taking herself super serious, she takes a deep breath, and she goes,

Oh, the spirits don't want me to light this pipe today and there was an old lakota lady next to her was trying to not die laughing but she was trying to be polite right but she was like look it's a windy day just put the hand in front of the lighter when you light it and you're gonna be okay you know it's a windy day and the thing is for the whole lakota lady the spirits and all of that, it's real, right? But precisely because it's real, you can call when sometimes the spirits are trying to tell you something. Sometimes it's just a windy day. Relax a little bit.

Lighten up. Yeah, it's like someone saying to you, namaste. Most people who say namaste are assholes. Yeah. Right. I don't mean that they're mean people i don't mean they're assholes like they mean but you just shut the fuck up bitch you know come on man you don't really mean that you're just trying to be like super spiritual of course but i swear to god

like there's yoga teachers that can say it after a yoga class and you'll say it back and you mean it you mean it you mean it because you just did 90 minutes of hell together and you'll say it and you mean it But that's the tricky thing that sometimes the the guy was the real deal Yeah And the guy was the total phony can sound exactly the same Except that one is real and one is not like to me like a lot of these things about spirituality They they make me throw up because they are so cheesy so made-up so big But then there are the moments where you go. Oh shit. That was it like the other day man They make me throw up because they are so cheesy, so made up, so fake.

But then there are the moments where you go, oh, shit, that was it. Like the other day, man, this was trippy. Like this guy from Canada emailed me and he's like, oh, we had this. It was another Lakota thing, right? American Indian stuff. And he's like, we had a ceremony and that was we prayed also for your daughter and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, OK, thanks. That's it.

And the guy goes, oh, by the way, I kind of have the feeling that she may be sensitive to things like that. I ask her if by any chance she had a dream having to do with American Indians. And I'm like, that's fucking weird because she doesn't remember her dreams nine nights out of ten. And, you know, Indians, she never mentioned that once. So there's no, right. But I figure, it doesn't hurt to ask. So I try not to ask a leading

question so i just ask her hey did did you have any dream last night and she goes no and i was like you'll see bullshit whatever and then she goes no no wait wait wait i had a dream like my grandpa was taking me to this place where there were indians and they taught me to speak lakota and yeah we had a good time and i went like holy fucking and i don't run with it you know i don't say oh it's because the spirits this i have no fucking idea right i'm just reporting what happens but when you look at it you go like oh shit maybe the universe is a lot weirder than we assume sometimes you know the problem with something like that is you can't measure it of course you can't there's no way yeah whenever like anybody has a clairvoyant moment or a moment where they kind of have an instinct that doesn't seem to make any sense but turns out to be true.

And they go, well, what was that? Was it coincidental? Like what was that? And, you know, there's like some Sam Harris type people that are like very straightforward, rational thinking. They'll sort of boil it down to coincidence. And I'm not entirely convinced. I like Sam. And I don't mean to talk shit about him because I like him and I dig his stuff.

But I think that's complete bullshit. Like to me, you're a fundamentalist as much as a religious fundamentalist. Like when you're trying so badly to explain everything to whether you're explaining the Azzin, it's because God did this or because, no, it's because it must be a coincidence because the probability of this, that it's like, can you just admit that life is weird and we don't have all the explanations and leave it at that? Well, I think he's right most of the time though. See, I think there's a lot of people that try to make things sound spiritual and connect circumstances and say, you know, it's fate and it's, you know, it's a psychic moment when really it's just total coincidence. There is a lot of that. A lot though is not everything. It's not everything, but it's hard to differentiate.

Like, when you talk to a guy and he says that your daughter had some sort of a dream about Native Americans, find out if she's sensitive, and then you ask her, and she said, oh, yeah, I had a dream about Native Americans. Like, whoa, the fuck? What are the odds? Most kids, yeah, I had a dream. I was on the My Little Pony store. Exactly.

I had all the money in the world. And it was that night. It's like, literally, what the fuck are the odds, right the fuck are the odds what are the odds that she'll remember anything and what are the odds that it have anything to do with a topic that she never mentioned once in her life you ever have a dream about someone then you get an email from them the next day and you haven't talked to them in years

I don't necessarily believe that the only connections that people have to each other are physical like you have to be there and see each other there very well might be some sort of that the only connections that people have to each other are physical. Like you have to be there and see each other. There very well might be some sort of a dream state connection or a thought connection that we just can't put on a scale. We can't like take a ruler and go, oh, this is seven inches long. We can't measure it.

I've had enough of those experiences. And again, not to believe because I don't know what I believe, right? I have no fucking idea. I don't know how the universe works. But I do have enough experiences that let me think there's no way that this is a coincidence, this is a coincidence, this is a coincidence every single time. That it just leaves me with kind of my mind is open to possibilities. I don't know what's out there. There's stuff that I experience. There's stuff that I don't experience.

I have zero beliefs about the nature of reality because my tools are very limited about what I understand. But there have been enough of those cases where you go, oh shit, that was like once when I was, I don't know, maybe 18 or something.

I had went hiking with my friends, go up the mountain. And we go back, which was great because I was alone with these two hot women. the other guy was with us gone off i'm like fuck you hopefully you've disappeared somewhere and i get to enjoy the attention of these two hot women for the rest of the day this is as good as it gets

and like at one point i literally it's like somebody like a phone rang where i got up and i'm like fuck there's a problem this this dude is having a problem right now and there's really no reason to think he said he'll be back four hours later an hour had gone by there's no reason whatsoever to feel that way and that's what i tell myself is like that's bullshit why are you making what kind of a bullshit excuse not to deal with the women that's beautiful you know stay here what are you saying i try i try keep getting in my head right he's like no there's a fucking big problem and it may not be a bad idea to pay attention to it i'm like jesus christ you ruin my day even when you're not here fuck you i don't like you already but

but i'm like okay this is bucking me fine i'll walk up i'll start going up the mountain see what the hell like none of this makes sense going up the mountain there's 15 different paths that you can take to go up the mountain i don't know which one it took come take a stab and just pick one because i don't know what else to do and i keep going and i hear this voice calling me so i call back and eventually i heard my friend's voice calling again i find if the dude got dehydrated i'd gone up too fast, and he was done, right? He had no energy left. He was on the floor, just collapsed.

What kind of pussies are you hanging around with? What a wimp. And I pick the guy up. Dehydrated after an hour. No, no. He said he was going to be back at a time, but he had been there longer. How long had he been there? I don't know.

In any case, I don't like him anymore, so I'm all good with that. I like your theory. It's like, fuck him, he's a pussy. I have no problem with that. That's the universe. The universe wanted him

to die up there. He should have left. Yeah, I know. Bang those chicks. I know, man. That's like one of my deepest regrets. Brought a skull home,

use it as a candle holder. Exactly. It's like, hey, look at that. But, you know, it's those moments you're like, why did I have that thought? Why i carry him down this one yeah you carried him down yeah it was a pain in the

oh my god now i just bring it up this story now i'm pissed off no women save this asshole what the girls do they go back they're eating each other out yeah they are right when they're done coming they had this attitude which was like like, really? You want to go? Okay, you're lost. Oh, my God. Why am I doing this? Were you at least a hero when they found out that the guy was dying? Sure.

Great. I was a hero. Who cares? For the people listening, he's making the hand job gesture. Yeah. That just did not help at all being the hero. Yeah, I wonder what that is. Maybe you just didn't have any faith in your friend.

You knew he was kind of an idiot. Yeah, I don't know, man. In fact, I don't know. It could be, right? I'm not saying that... Like, the dream thing from last night, that was even weirder. This one, I can see how it could be something else, right? Well, if I was Sam Harris, I'd say, well, let's just examine. Think for a moment about the possibilities.

Right. Yeah. I don't... I just... I don't think that he's necessarily completely averse to the idea of there being some sort of connection. I think he, and like you and I, agree. Most of that stuff is like the lady that says, the spirits don't want me to light the pipe. Yeah, exactly. Most of it's bullshit.

Yeah, I agree completely. Man, I'll tell you one thing changed my perception on on just the supernatural and the spiritual is looking into it when i did that sci-fi show and when i did a i did a show called joe rogan questions not joe rogan questions everything um uh game show in my head and the game show in my head show was a hidden camera show where the people had like an earpiece in and we would tell them to go do things. And we set this one up in Hollywood and you know, they would have, it was a game show. Like, here's your task. This is what you have to do. And one of the things they had to do was we told them that you're a reporter

for a local television station. You're doing the news and you're reporting on a UFO sighting. You have to find someone and tell them, listen, I had a witness. They were here for this UFO story. We have the cameras here. But they took off. Well, are you willing to say that you saw the UFO too? Wow. And fucking everyone said yes.

Really? Everyone. They just went right. Not only did they say yes, they went right into these elaborate fake stories on camera. And I went, wow. It just was such an eye-opener for me. And I was like, how many of those people that you see in those UFO documentaries? The famous one was the Phoenix Lights.

Did you see the Phoenix Lights? The Phoenix Lights was a series of sightings that happened in Phoenix. I want to say in the early 90s maybe. but in Phoenix, I want to say in the early 90s maybe. And it was very controversial because the governor was saying he was going to get to the bottom of this. This is all very controversial. And then he held a press conference and made a mockery out of it by having someone dress up like an alien and say, we found the culprit and here he is.

The guy comes out and he's got an alien costume on. And the UFO believers were really pissed off because they were like fuck you i saw something there was a triangle shaped object the size of a football field it was flying overhead it wasn't making any noise like all these people had these all these things that they said that they saw but there's almost no evidence there's only evidence of these lights that are floating in the sky that they think were, yeah, there's the governor, Arizona governor and the fucking alien. It's hilarious. But what people were saying that they saw, there was one explanation that made sense, and that was there were flares that the government had let loose with parachutes. And they were drifting down from the sky slowly, and they fell behind the mountain ranges,

and that's why they disappeared. If you look at the actual video that people did get, they're just lights that are hovering in the sky. There's no triangle-shaped black objects that are flying around, but everybody had all these. And so as soon as you start saying, hey, there's a Phoenix Lights lights and people saw a ufo me too man i saw it i was on my porch it was strange the night was electric i felt it in the air or

something no that's and i agree with you in fact that like to me 99 of these stories are such bullshit but to me it's like sometimes there are some that you can't explain which doesn't mean it's real doesn't mean we know why or yes, it was a UFO or it was anything else. Or it was that, yeah, there was something that came into somebody's dream. Who knows, right? I have no idea. But why the hell are we trying to explain it away every single time? You know, sometimes just say there is no explanation.

Who knows why? That's, hey, that's weird. Leave it at that. You know, you don't have to run with it, but you don't have to deny it either. You know what's amazing, man? Ghost shows. What's that? Those ghost shows ghost hunter shows oh yeah all those fucking years and all those episodes and those motherfuckers got nothing it's faithful it's like let's see what comes after the commercial break oh that was nothing okay let's play a tape recorder

listen listen to very clearly. Did you hear that? It was clearly, clearly what he was saying. Yeah, those are the best. Yeah, who knows what the fuck that is? There's like so much shenanigans and fuckery going on in those shows. Wasn't there like a fucking murder recently? Like a ghost hunter killed his wife and killed himself? Yeah, I heard something like that.

Something like that? Like a famous one on television or something like that. Yeah, what the hell? Jamie will find it. But yeah, that and those mediums, like the Long Island Psychic, get the fuck out of here. And that's in fact the problem, that that word is filled with so many charlatans that it's not even funny. A couple featured on Ghost Adventures, dead in apparent murder-suicide. Damn.

Whew, self-styled paranormal investigators. Yeah, they don't give a fucking degree for that. Not exactly. Paranormal investigation. Mark and Debbie Constantino, is that what it says? And a third still unidentified man were killed yesterday in Sparks, Nevada.

That's where it goes down. When a domestic violence incident turned deadly, the Constantinos killed themselves. What? Billed themselves as electronic. Make that larger. As electronic voice phenomenon experts and made frequent appearances on reality shows about the supernatural, notably occurring on Travel Channel's Ghost Adventures.

Wow. Oh, the couple were estranged. Oh, okay. She found him with a new dude. Or she, or he found her, rather, with a new dude. He killed them both and killed himself. Debbie Constantino had been living with two roommates approximately 8 a.m.

Tuesday. The police were called to the apartment after one of her roommates found their male roommate dead and Debbie missing. Yep, that's it. Police eventually discovered that she was being held hostage by Mark Constantino in an apartment belonging to one of the couple's adult children. Attempts to negotiate failed. Around

1.30 p.m. a SWAT team breached the apartment door and found both people dead. Jesus Christ. Heavy. Can't people just break up? Yeah, seriously. What the fuck? Murder-suicide when people break up.

God damn you, pussy. You fucking pussy. You can't handle her finding a new person? Yep. God, people are so weak in that regard that is one of the weaker aspects of humanity is the inability to accept that someone doesn't want to fuck you anymore she wants some new dick let her go she's still she's still got some life left in her by the time you're 17 you should be over that it's like you deal with it the first time that you learn. So brutal.

I don't even dig like when people flip out about exes. You know, it's almost a stereotype how everybody talks shit about their ex. Yeah. I'm like, why, motherfucker? You brought them into your life. Yeah. You are the one who, like, if you didn't see it, worry about what's going on with you if they were really that bad. If they were such horrible human beings and you're the one who brought them in.

Or maybe they are not that fucking bad and you're just blowing it out of proportion because you're a drama queen and you can't deal with the fact that they are with somebody else it's like there's there's definitely that well there's definitely some people that got fucked over like divorces where dudes have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for the rest of their life but even that to me is interesting because it's like no it's not terrific it is but it's it's the same woman that you brought in your life and you didn't fucking see that she was capable of all of that. You know what I mean? So, yes, while she's the scum of the earth and you can and should be pissed with her, I would also reserve a little bit for your own judgment of how you opened the door to this lady and said – Well, the problem is that there's a legal option.

It's not that she's the scum of the earth. The problem is you are breaking up. She does feel pain. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel pain when someone wants to fuck someone else because you're going to. It's going to happen. You're going to feel terrible. You're going to feel jealousy. You're going to feel sadness.

You're going to feel loss. It's going to happen. But what I'm saying is you have to have some fucking perspective. You are a human being. And if you're here in america you live in the best place on the planet in 2016 which is the best time ever to be alive and you fucking pussy you can't you got match.com you got tinder get to cracking baby right start slinging dick you know you could sling dick today like you could sling vagina you can you can do whatever you want to do today this

is a different world like move on you'll find someone that you don't want to not be with or that you do want to be with, that you can get along with. Work on yourself. Figure it out, man. Don't go on a murder-suicide rampage. I know. But this woman, I have a friend who I've talked about him before. He was divorced, and the divorce is brutal. It took forever. She went to all the other lawyers in town so that he couldn't go to them because she had contacted them first. It's just brutal, brutal shit.

And she tortured him for like two years, like changing the terms of the divorce, re-going back. And all the while, he's paying for her lawyer. He's paying for his lawyer he's paying for his lawyer he's paying for everything she was trying to bleed him out then she got this ridiculous settlement and she got his house massive beautiful fucking house overlooking the ocean like the whole deal and on top of that because they were married for 12 years he has to pay her for the rest of her life so he's paid he's paying her hundreds of thousands of dollars every year for the rest of her life. And that's not, it's, I mean, you could say, well, hey, he should have known

he let that person into his life, but he used to love her. But she, in that time of loss and pain and suffering, she had a legal option. And the lawyer came to her and said, listen, you helped him. You helped him. Meanwhile, she didn't do shit. She walked around the fucking Beverly Hills with a little tiny dog. Got her nails done and got her fucking pedicure done and talked a lot of shit about him while he was at work. And that guy just busted his ass all day long

because that was his quote-unquote wife because they scribbled their name on some paper and said, I do. That guy's fucked for the rest of his life. I see the point. Don't get me wrong. There are the cases where the ex is the evil demon from hell. I get that.

But A, still, while it's their fault and it's not yours, still you are the one who didn't see that they were a demon from hell and brought them in. And two also is, yeah, they suck. Now what? I don't even think they suck. I think she's got nothing going on and this is there to her.

It's like, what is she going to do? Is she going to work all day and take some job that sucks? She's in her late 40s, early 50s now. She's an older lady. She doesn't have the best health. What is she going to do? Or is she just going to keep taking

hundreds of thousands of dollars every year because the law says it's okay? Well, I think there's a lot of, like, those are two pretty dramatic extremes. There's like, I'm never going to take a penny and I'm going to go back to work 10 hours a day. Who the fuck says that? Exactly. Nobody says that. They never pass on the money.

That's my point, right? But the other one is also you're an asshole. It's not just it's there is an option. It's you choose an option that's designed to bleed the other person dry when you know it's not right. Well, he makes good money, so it's not like he's getting

bleed, bled dry, but he has to pay an exorbitant amount of money every year to a person that he doesn't fuck anymore. And now he has a wife and he has children, he has a whole new family

and still a giant chunk of his income goes to this lady that he doesn't have anything to do with anymore and it will to the lady that he doesn't have anything to do with anymore and it will to the day she dies so she lives to be 500 years old because of modern science this fucking dude is paying her for the next 400 years yeah man it's yeah that makes you think twice about it's incredible it's stupid and i'm married and i'm happy yeah i'll tell you right

now i'm a happily married person i love my wife i I love having a family. It's nice for me. It works. But it's stupid. Like, the contract is dumb. It's a dumb legal contract. And it's an archaic one. And I can understand child support. I can understand all that stuff.

I understand all that. But what drives me crazy is this idea that in my friend's case somehow or another because he lived with her for 12 years by the way it was more than 12 years ago that they separated so let's think of that so but because he lived with her for 12 years he has somehow or another fucked her to the point where she can't work anymore like he gave her so much dick during the time we were together she's just discombobulated she can't work anymore. Like he gave her so much dick during the time we were together. She's just discombobulated. She can't fill out a form.

If you have a child, okay, when the child turns 18, you're no longer legally responsible. That's an adult. They're gone. If you have child support, you don't have to pay it after 18. When they become 18, you have to get a job, kid. You have to figure out a way to feed yourself. It's part of the growth of life. Not when you're a grown woman.

And when you're a grown woman, and she was in her 40s when they broke up. And for whatever fucking reason, we have these wacky laws that state that this person doesn't have to work again forever. No children, by the way. No children. That's completely true. They never had kids together. What is it? Is 12 the magic number?

Like, if you was 11, then, oh, fuck it, you don't have to? I don't know. I think it varies, but I think in California, for whatever reason, it was 12. I think 10 is the big one. Like 10 years is the big one. So it might have been that it was 10 because Ralphie May just got jacked, apparently. His woman just divorced him after 10. And that's the number.

They wait until 10. And at 10, the party begins. So if you are thinking about it, nine and a half is the time to call it. It's hard to imagine someone not being in your life, but yet you have to pay the money. Yeah, that's fucking up. There's just no way around it. But in his case, his wife has children, or his ex-wife now has children from him. And so he is definitely financially responsible for her children, his children, their children.

And I think he should pay Alma only because she has to take care of those kids. And she can't really work. She's not like a free person who's single. But if you're a free person that's single, I can understand you needing a couple years to get on your feet. Yeah, that's fair. That's what I mean about the grace. It's like one is one extreme.

One is you get nothing. A couple of years, fair enough. You shouldn't. I mean, say if you live with a woman and for 10 years you're married and for 10 years she doesn't have to work because you're some fucking diamond merchant in downtown LA or something like that. And you break up with her and then you're like, get out of the house, bitch. You're on your own.

She doesn't have any skills. She doesn't have anything. That's fucked up. A couple of years she's fair. Something like that is a reasonable compromise. But there's this weird thing that they do where it's called the quality of life. You're supposed to maintain the same quality of life. Like, what?

Yeah, that's bullshit. So if you're living with Kobe Bryant, Kobe Bryant's wife, she's responsible for his children, so she should certainly get money. But how much money, man? How does she get hundreds of millions of dollars? How does that work?

Forever. Forever? Yeah, that's nuts. To the end of time, till the day they die. And if you don't have a prenup, of dollars. How does that work? You know? Forever. Forever. Yeah, that's nuts. To the end of time, till the day they die. And if you don't have a prenup, it could get ugly.

Yep. And he's like, no, a prenup is not romance. Like, fuck you. This is a contract anyway. The whole thing is a contract that involves the state. Mm-hmm.

And if you don't have a prenup, believe me, those conversations get way more intense when things get ugly. Yeah. When a woman knows there's no prenup involved.

Yeah. Yeah. Like I have a buddy who doesn't have a prenup and him and his wife are fighting. And I go, do you have a prenup? He goes, no. Oh, no. How dare you? You are screwed.

And he said, we were having a conversation about it. And he's like, I couldn't figure out a way to justify having a prenup. I go, here's a way. If you're in love and you're married together and you're going to be together forever the prenup doesn't mean shit exactly it doesn't mean anything yeah if you really plan on being together forever but if that person wants to fucking abandon ship then drain you like a fucking plug at the bottom of a bathtub plunk that's when you need

a prenup. Yeah. Because if you're going to break up, that's when a prenup comes into play and then you need it. Oh, big time. And you should have it, right? Yeah. But if you're going to be together forever, the prenup doesn't mean a goddamn thing because

you're going to be together forever. So don't worry about it. Get a fucking prenup, silly bitch. It only becomes a factor if you get divorced. That's why any woman that says, you want to have a prenup? You don't think it's going to last? No, I think it is going to last. But, if it doesn't,

the logic of not having a prenup is insane. If we break up, I want to get financially fucked. That's how much I love you, baby. That's how much I want to stay together with you. I want to stay together with you under the threat of being financially ruined.

Because otherwise it's not through love. This fucking chick said to me the other day, it was hilarious. She goes, well, I'll tell you what, more and more women today are paying alimony. I go, name one. I know. Silence.

Roseanne Barr. That's all they say. Roseanne Barr. That's all they say. Roseanne Barr. Tom Arnold. She beat Tom Arnold. Okay, we got one under our belt. Great. So it's one victory as opposed to what?

What? Hundreds of millions of guys that have been fucked over by the system? I don't get. I actually don't even get the whole idea of marriage. I don't mean like committed the relationship I got that I got all that but why the fuck do you need to bring in the state and lawyers and because it's a business it's that's what I mean is like if it's a relationship why do you need to bring all this shit in well it's a business in terms of like there's a business of the diamonds you know it's three months to

add too much to ask like Like those fucking diamond merchants. Fuck that. I'm bringing them up again. I don't know why. But diamonds, the idea that three months salary, three months, that is fucking crazy. If a guy has to work three months out of a whole year for a little rock that goes around your finger just to show he loves you. No, fuck that.

Is three months too much to ask? That would be a deal breaker right off the bat. He's like, what? You fucking want what? You want a giant rock that costs thousands of dollars? Fuck off. I have nothing in common with you. I'm done.

Most people don't have enough money to get by, period. Most people are going pretty much check to check. They have a little bit of money in the bank in case fucking shit goes terribly wrong. period like they're scraping most people are going pretty much check to check they have like you know a little bit of money in the bank in case fucking shit goes terribly wrong but they don't have three months worth of money in the bank so what are you gonna do for three months i'm gonna suffer so that you could have a rock on your finger what am i gonna do i'm gonna eat potato chips for lunch and fucking starve to death ramen noodles at dinner every night oh i saved 20 bucks today throw Throw that in the jar.

Right. That goes into the diamond jar. No, but that to me is the ultimate bullshit. It's like, seriously, do people actually fucking like diamonds? It's not. It's a status symbol. Come on.

Chicks do. You can get a fucking fake thing that looks exactly the same unless you are a jeweler. But it's not the same. But that's what I mean. It's like it's about, it costs a shitload of money. It's a... But it's not the same! But that's what I mean. It's like, it's about, it costs a shitload of money.

It's a symbol. It's not the real thing. It's like, what can you do with three months salary? You can do so much fucking good stuff. How about we do that

to celebrate the wedding or whatever the hell? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Give me the rock, bitch! My aunt got fucked over. She married this guy. He was real shady. He was always shady, like from the beginning.

And she had a nice wedding ring, a nice fat rock. When they got divorced, she went and got it checked out. Cubic zirconia. That's the way you do it. Yep, she fucked him over. He got her a fake rock. That's the way to do it. They look so real, man.

It's hard to tell. I mean, I guess a diamond merchant can tell like that. But you're not a fucking diamond merchant, so how about we don't deal with that? You know, it's not like having a fake Ferrari. Yeah. You know, like a fake Ferrari will drive like shit. That's real. Yeah.

There's something real there. The diamond thing, there's nothing real. So crazy. I know a lady who's a billionaire. Her and her husband. Her husband's this very, very wealthy tycoon-type character. He's kind of hilarious. He dresses like Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band.

He has those little outfits on. Throws these magical parties in Malibu where it's just fucking huge, huge, crazy parties. It probably costs like a million bucks. The guy's an animal. But he got her this rock that I don't know enough about diamonds to say how much it cost, but it's well over a million dollars.

It's huge. I mean, it's like a watch. It's a Flava Flav watch. It's like a clock on her finger. It's so big. What is this? Is this a new guy she's with? Yes, this just came out this weekend. 35 carat diamond ring. Who a new guy she's with? Yes, this just came out this weekend.

35 carat diamond ring. What? Who is this dude she's with? Some billionaire from Australia. Look at him. Let me see what he looks like. That looks like you need a 35 carat to get laid ever. Isn't she like 50?

45? 45 it says, yeah. She's still hot? Yeah. How's that ass look? Big, right? Yeah. Big and juicy. Pow,pow! Look at that ring. She was like much smaller and thinner when she was younger, huh?

Not that I like that. That's 35 carats. That's what that is? Yeah, I was expecting bigger. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I was too. I'm telling you the lady that I know her ring is bigger than that. Yeah, that shit makes me... Like, how much does that cost? Projectile vomit in just looking at this. Yeah, that's probably... That's probably a million bucks. This is a lot.

Like, you remember when J-Lo and Ben Affleck were a character? They were one? Yeah. We are delving deeper and deeper. You hear about a great story? A great story. Do tell. I know a dude who's a construction guy.

And he was dealing with them at the time. And allegedly, the story is, that J-Lo, Ben Affleck, had a full basketball court that he had at his place. She wanted to take the basketball court apart and put it in her house. Like as a surprise, like to surprise him. And the guy's like,

what? Um, no, I'm not doing that. Pokes. You imagine what kind of fucking craziness that bitch has in her head. Like, she's like,

I'm just going to move his favorite place to my place. That way when he has his basketball games, he'll have to have it at my house. Like, what? She wanted to move it. Like, take it. Put it in my house. I want it. It's mine.

He's mine. Put his basketball court in my house. Now. I like the impersonation. Oh, my God. People do some crazy shit to get into relationships. I mean, it's like putting up with people. The weirdest request, the weirdest thing you've seen.

Because it's like, fuck that. I don't need it that bad. I don't know, man. I don't get it. Do you ever call a friend and his wife answers his cell phone? No, I'm missing out on that experience. You get that a lot? I've had that happen more than once, and I'd lose all respect for that guy unless he's

in the middle of fucking holding up a pan of hot oil that he's carrying to the stove or something, and it's an emergency phone call or something. I mean, why the fuck would your wife answer your cell phone? I think that's... In an accusatory way. Hello, right? Who is it? This is Joe's Dave there Joe who Joe Rogan hold on Hey Dave, why is your fucking wife answering your phone? Yeah, like I'm some chick who's calling or a gay lover you fucking weirdo

Well, you keep your phone in your pocket, bitch Don't have it no that i think that's like ultimate insecurity right there is like i can't score a hot woman so if i can't score one i'm just gonna hold on to her no matter how batshit crazy she gets i'm gonna put up with anything because i'm afraid to be alone that i think is speaking of the book stuff that's another thing that um i noticed changing in me it's for the longest time, that's another thing that I noticed changing in me. For the longest time, I had these exact dynamics that I'm criticizing. I had them in me, right?

I was like, I don't want to be alone. If I'm with a hot woman, I want to stick to her. And she does some crazy shit. That's totally fine. It's like, that's fear. That's insecurity. That's if I let her go, I'll never get laid with a hot woman again kind of thing. And at one point, I think it's like I had dealt with enough shit that something snapped in me where I was just like, you know what?

From now on, and I don't even mean it in a bad way, I don't fucking want to make one compromise in my life. If I have to be anything other than who I am 24-7, I don't want to be with you. You may be a nice person. I'm not criticizing you, but I don't want you in my life Right But what if you smoke a joint with her And she throws that pussy around Like fucking John Elway

Just with the long yards Woo God damn Whack Like when Elway whacks that ball That helps for those two hours But then there's the rest of your life So those two hours were great

Now let's move on to something else Yeah but then when you're at work You're thinking about those two hours were great. Now let's move on to something else. Yeah, but then when you're at work, you're thinking about those two hours. You're going to loosen up the tie. Woo! God damn it. You know? You know what I'm saying? No, you give up something.

Like Jordan going for a layup. Woo! Like flying from the three-point line right through the net. This bitch is hot! Yep. Yep. That's why you... And then you know if you break up with her, that phone is just ringing off the hook from

dudes trying to get a hold of that voodoo pussy. Right? What are you going to do? You're just going to be cool and calm and collected? You got to. You're going to try. Because otherwise it fucks up the rest of your life. Even if it was every single day that is the most magical sex in the world for those two

hours that you spend spend there are 22 more hours just sleep a lot that it's all okay right that you can put up with it and it's all worth it i know this dude who used to he was a mobster he talked about going to jail going to jail was no big deal the key was you got to sleep your time away you'd sleep like 18 hours a day that works and i was like really like yeah that's you gotta do just sleep your time away a lot of people are up they're doing push-ups not me i sleep my time away my time you know two years is gone it's nothing i slept i got rest okay 18 hours a day jesus he's an asshole what are you gonna do yeah but uh yeah there's some some girls are just so hot and that it's also like there's something else that's going on.

Love is real and emotions are real and appreciating someone is real and there's definitely that, but there's also some biological tricks that go on when you connect with someone and you have sex with them. There's like some weird sort of possessive tricks where your DNA doesn't want them to be with anyone else because your DNA wants to procreate with them. And that's where you have to protect this one person who you're shooting loads into who you're going to have babies with. Where are you going? What are you talking to that guy? I saw the way that guy hugged you.

Like all this craziness that comes about you you you that person becomes you right they become your property but you can't control them and then if they're freaky if they're crazy freaky bitches you got to go this crazy freaky bitch is probably crazy with other dudes too and then she's probably been crazy freaky bitch with other dudes before me so now i have to think that those dudes know that she's slinging that fucking superstitious stitious pussy out there superstitious pussy out there. Superstitious. That's what you want.

I think anybody ever in the history of mankind used those two words together. That's a first. She's got some fucking voodoo pussy. She's got some supernatural pussy. It's people that can do things better and includes fucking. You know, like everybody. Have you dated a girl who was really hot, but she's terrible, terrible in bed? No, I miss out on that experience. No, I went on a couple of them, but I had one of them.

I was like, I gotta stop. We just gotta stop doing this. Really? Was that bad? Yeah. Yeah. She's just, for all sorts of reasons, I guess, like maybe it wasn't her fault. Maybe she was just like insecure or uncomfortable or unaware or, you a state it turned out later on that i found

she had like a coke problem that i wasn't aware of that would that i've never done it but apparently that just blocks you off from like emotional what she just kind of frigid is that what made bad sex okay it was just it wasn't good oh you know it's like the girl that i dated before her was a freak so i was like oh my god boring this sucks it is what you're like. Boring. This sucks. It's not fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when someone's just, when they're all in, you know, and the next girl's not

all in, you're like, I've got to find someone who's all in. I'm here to gamble. I'm for the next one. I'm not here to play penny slots. I'm here to push a fucking mortgage into the center of the table and go, come on. What are we doing here? That's what the excitement is, right? What do you make of the Chris Ryan ability to instead turn off the exact thing? You are talking about sort of the DNA like your mind, you know

The possessiveness the jealousy all of that the whole Chris Ryan ability. What do you mean? Well, you know his whole theory about just fuck monogamy It's all about happy monkeys having sex with each other and just let it be well I think that's something that you can learn Yeah, I think it's really when you boil down to What it really is when you boil it down to? You know if you can be objective about if it's at all possible It's it's pleasure like why is why should you be the only person that can give that person pleasure?

Why should that person be the only place where you get pleasure are we slaves to these ancient? Emotions and ancient connections that we have to other human beings that were really based on scarcity I think whenever things are based on scarcity You know the idea that you'll be alone if If you don't have her, I'll be alone forever. It's like famine thinking. If I don't eat this meal, he'll be doing more meals. That famine thinking when it comes to friends. If you ever have a friend, what are you hanging out with them for?

What, you fucking don't even hang out with me anymore? That's the surest way to lose a friend. Absolutely. Become really needy where you get upset that that friend hangs out with other friends. That's ridiculous. It's crazy. People like really needy where you get upset that that friend hangs out with other friends. That's ridiculous. It's crazy. People like that are ridiculous.

And I've had friends like that before. They get, you know, only when I was younger. When you're younger, you're sort of figuring out what style of person you are and how do you live your life and what's acceptable and what's not acceptable. And you know, the people that are like that, whether they're aware or not, they're just incredibly manipulative. They might not even be aware of why, whether they're aware or not, they're just incredibly manipulative. They might not even be aware of why or what they're doing. But when it comes to relationships, a lot of times people also mirror the family that they grew up in.

If you grew up in a really jealous, really abusive family, it can mirror itself. Or it could be the exact opposite where you see how retarded your parents were and you're like, well, fuck that. I'm not going to be like that anymore. So I think Chris is obviously a very brilliant guy. And Chris Ryan's book, which is an excellent book,

which is really highly respected, I think he's got some real good points. And if you can intellectualize it and be objective, yeah, you know, if you're happy living that life, he's happy. You know, and he knows a lot of people that also live like that are happy. There's nothing wrong with it. No, exactly. I mean, to me, the argument he lays out makes perfect sense.

Yeah. You know, I think he's right. It's just for a lot of people it's hard to get over those but but but you know they still are possessive and jealous and all of that and they can't deal with the idea that somebody they love is supposed to be only me fuck this you can't have sex with somebody else they flip out but yeah wait to me when you think about it doesn't really make sense well you know what else doesn't make sense? Monogamy doesn't make sense, but neither does polygamy. None of it makes sense. You should do whatever you want.

Right. If you're into monogamy, monogamy is great. That's what I mean. Exactly. If it works for you, why shouldn't you? And by the way, it doesn't work with everybody. If you find one person and it doesn't work with them, then that's not the one you should be monogamous with. But it doesn't mean that you can't be monogamous

with somebody else. Or maybe even that same person at another stage of your life. Sometimes things change. I agree completely with you. To me, the Chris Ryan idea is the one that makes the most sense logically and philosophically.

But every single time I've tried to throw it out there at some lady I wanted to get in a relationship with, the discussion was invariably, it sense i get your point but can no sorry it's not gonna go and then it's a choice right it's like do i want it anyway giving up this philosophical it sound cooler or not and the times when i have gone for it and so it was that a monogamous relationship i was totally fine with it you know it wasn't like oh i spent my days thinking about what i'm missing i was completely happy with it so i i'm completely with you there to me it's not a it has to be one way or the other it's whatever

works at the end of the day but whatever works means also having the flexibility to say maybe the traditional monogamous way is not the only fucking way you know maybe there are other ways to go about it or just as good well there certainly are other ways to go about it that are just as good. Well, there certainly are other ways to go about it. I mean, there's people that live in a house and it's a man with like three women. Right. Or a woman with three men. Wasn't that like a fucking drug dealer movie?

Wasn't that like an Oliver Stone movie where there's a chick and two dudes and they used to have threesomes? Oh, yeah. Savages. Looks so stupid. Savages. Was it as stupid as it looked?

I haven't seen the movie. I read the book. The book was actually awesome. The movie, I tried to watch it. I quit 10 minutes in. It always looks great on paper. You know, it's just, it's very hard for people to pull off that open relationship unless they're disgusting.

I'll tell you what, you want to see disgusting people? Go to a swingers convention. Ugh, just fucking people. Ari and I were in, I think we were in Nashville, and we did a whole weekend at this place, and we had this guy drive us around. You know, we hired a car service, and got the same guy to take us to the airport,

from the airport, and we became friendly with him. And as he's taking us to the airport, at the end of the weekend starts opening up about being a swinger like out of nowhere man we're fucking driving to the airport he goes hey well next time you guys in town um i'll be happy to take you to a swingers party we're like what huh what are you talking about so So the dude opens up that him and his missus have this relationship where he can decide whether or not she sleeps with other men. He can give the veto.

Wow. Yeah. No, I vetoed this one. Okay, yes, that was. Yeah. So I go, well, how do you decide? He goes, if I don't like someone, I just don't want it happening. I go, like what?

Like some hulking six-foot-five football player with a giant hog, a hog as thick as your calf. Like, is that what it is? And, like, he started getting uncomfortable. And I'm like, well, how can you be uncomfortable, man? You just opened up the door saying that. You know, like what is it that turns you off, like about some guy banging your woman?

Right. What's the big deal? He couldn't answer. He was done. Entirely. He regretted starting the conversation. Well, we got deep into it with him in the few minutes that we had left before we got to the airport. But we were laughing the entire flight home.

Cab drivers must get so bored sometimes because you get in the weird. Like, I was with Duncan in, where were we? In Wisconsin. We got off the plane, got in this cab. And the second we closed the door, the guy started his monologue, right? It's like there was the cab driver started, let me tell you about our governor. Our governor sucks because, and he started like this 15 minute monologue where he went on and he clearly was just itching to get it off his chest. And Duncan and I were looking at each other like, what the fuck is this about?

You can't tell him to shut the fuck up either. No, we haven't invited a conversation. We are not really even participating. And he just started from the second one, kept it up to the last second. That's the difference between a limo driver and an Uber driver too. If you get a limo, they kind of like, hello, sir, let me open up the car door for you, sir.

It's like going to a really nice hotel versus like a shitty motel where the person at the reception is smoking a cigarette. You know, you get what you pay for. But then again, Duncan B. Duncan, he managed to use that material

for a comedy beat and he was awesome. He made it brilliant. So I was like, hey, look at that. You know, out of this shitty conversation came out this awesome bit that he did. Well, yeah, if someone's completely retarded or someone's completely out of whack, you could definitely make a good sketch about it.

This guy in Nashville, I still think about this guy. Every time I go there, I'm just hoping I get him as a driver just so I can see. So give me an update, man. I haven't seen you in a couple of years. How's it all working out? That would be awesome. Yeah, I'm back there in May. I'm in May 19th, I think, or 20th.

I'm in Nashville. So I hope I'll find that dude. I'm really thinking about buying him. Everybody in Nashville, please ask your cab driver what they think about swinging. And if you catch the right guy, send him back to Joe to pick him up at the airport. They have clubs they go to. They have specific swinging clubs. I'm like, how does that work?

Everybody just sits on people's laps. You go to people. But they all probably looked like him. He looked disgusting. He was like a balding dude with a ponytail. And he was tall, but he had a gut. And he was just skinny but fat yeah because these things sound awesome where you have your playboy fantasy and everybody look like

they are out of you know that's then it's awesome right yeah sometimes when you see the reality you're like oh that's not what i had in mind at all this sucks yeah the reality is most people that want to do that they don't have a whole lot of other options. But it's probably only like one super hot slutty girl that goes to those things, just loves being the belle of the ball. Right. Because if you go to like a swingers thing and you're actually hot, you're a hot girl. Everybody wants you. Do you remember there was a Showtime show for a while about people that were involved in these big swinging sort of relationships?

What was it? It was a terrible show, but it was really weird. Because they would show them getting together and making out and doing all this stuff together. But it was in this obviously really well-lit room while they were filming. Because there were these cameras on. These people are supposed to, like, okay, everybody act normal. Exactly. With the camera up your ass.

Was this a reality show or something? Yeah. Yeah, it was on Showtime. Yeah, it was a polyamorous show. You found it? It was called Polyamory? Yeah, that was it. It was gross.

Ugh, get out of there with that. A very modern family. Okay okay it's not modern they've been doing that forever okay it's just it's odd but there's always like one dude who's like you know so like this is way people should be man they should just relax and just enjoy each other's company, man. To me, that's the thing. It's like, fuck should. There's no should. Whatever you're happy with. If he works for you, he works for you. Good. Exactly. End of story. Who gives a shit?

Do whatever you want. What makes you happy that doesn't fuck over everyone else or anyone else or the environment? But people can say that, if you want a fucking open relationship, it fucks over my life, Daniele. Do you understand?

I need a man, a real man. A man who doesn't want another woman. It shouldn't be a compromise. It should be what you want. You want a stack of romance novels that is based on this fucking artificial narrative created by these fiction writers. Fucking fiction.

I hate that shit. What about those Fifty Shades of Grey bitches? I want to find those. Because that's, there's an untapped freak vein out there in America.

A big one. A big one. A lot of chicks want to get choked and they're just not getting choked. What is that about, man? That I don't get.

We don't get it and we never will. That's the male-female dynamic, unfettered, unrestrained, that we don't understand. We're never going to understand it. Some of that shit is entirely above my head. I want you to try to wrap your head around this mental exercise. Imagine you're a woman who is going to take a condom that a guy came in and squirt the contents inside your pussy?

Yeah, not a... Can't imagine it. No. But those people are real. Yeah. So imagine that a man who doesn't want to have a baby with you, but you want to have a baby with this motherfucker. Hmm.

How do I do this? I'm going to take the condom and I'm going to stuff it in my pussy and I'm going to squeeze it out and I'm going to get my fingers in there and I'm going to fucking shove condom, and I'm going to stuff it in my pussy, and I'm going to squeeze it out, and I'm going to get my fingers in there, and I'm going to fucking shove it in there. I'm going to try to. I'm sure people have gotten pregnant that way, right? I'm sure. Do all condoms come with spermicide? A lot of them do, right?

They have a little spermy side in there that kills them, little fuckers. Wow. There are some weird fucking people out there. Right, but that's some there's some weird fucking people out there right but that's a human thing like there's people that want to be connected so badly to someone that they'll lie about being on the pill like i've had friends that uh they were having sex with a girl and the girl's like uh just don't i'm not on the pill but just you could pull out so they're like okay you know when your dick's hard you have like 10 mental capacity that you're

operating on right and so they tried to pull out and the girl wrapped their legs around him and wouldn't let him pull out serious yeah yeah yeah more than one guy's had that happen i've talked to more than one guy really happened yeah i've heard like the you know i'm on the pl where it's bullshit and they get pregnant oh yeah i've heard that too no i know, I'm on the pill where it's bullshit and they get pregnant. Oh, yeah. I've heard that too. No, I haven't heard this one. That's just weird. Yeah.

Trick pregnancy is fucking crazy because it's terrifying that not only did you fuck up so hard that you got someone pregnant, you didn't want to get pregnant, but they tricked you. They lied to you. And this is the type of person that you now have a child with so you have to raise a child with a liar a manipulative liar who decided to get pregnant like oh boy oh yeah there's a couple that i know where that's the lady got pregnant intentionally after telling him oh no no chance in hell yeah and then of course, of course, this is under the file. This is the perfect family that then they tell their kids never have sex before marriage, da, da, da. I remember talking with their kid. One of their kids was like 14 and was telling me all about, oh, shit, but they say no sex before marriage. And they stuck to it.

And I'm like, no, they didn't. I know what the fuck they did. Your mom was bugging guys when she was 14. No, no, no. My mom and dad met in bible class and my mom was pure no the guy flipped he was like serious i'm like yeah i'm not lying to you it's that's where it's at but and he was like holy shit i was like yeah man sorry they just fed you a bunch of bullshit but at least you can relax and have sex now just you know don't just the idea that someone would be so manipulative and so self-centered that they would decide to have a baby with someone against that person's will.

No, that's when you know you seriously have problems, you know. That's where you're mentally fucked in the head big time. You're not just mentally fucked. You're now connected to this person. You're, like, you're not just mentally fucked and manip now connected to this person you're you you like that you've you're not just mentally fucked and manipulative and evil but you're you're connected to a person who had a baby with you yeah and it was all because you lied oh it's weird it's weird sex is weird because it's it makes people it doesn't just feel good like if it was just like

hugging or just like you know being affectionate andate and just making out and like, oh, that's all great. You know, but it makes people like blowjobs don't make people. It's they're awesome, but they do not make people. Yeah. Fucking actually makes people like what a bizarre way of reproducing. Tell me about it. Like you're drawn to someone you can't live without them the touch is so magical you know what ridiculous

that's when you got to think that the universe has been designed by somebody with lots of sense of humor if there is any design behind it because it's like so much of this shit is just funny you know it's just like come on you know it's funny but it all makes sense i mean this is the only way to really truly ensure that people have sex when times are tough and you know the world is rough and logically and intellectually you wouldn't have a baby but you have a baby and you have to figure out a way to hide it from the barbarian hordes yep because you love it so much and you have these urges and meanwhile the reason why the barbarian hordes because you love it so much and you have these urges. And meanwhile, the reason why the barbarian hordes are showing up in the first place is because they're looking for pussy.

So the whole thing's crazy. That's human history in a nutshell. Some condoms used to contain spermicides, but most don't. It's best to use condoms without spermicides. It says who? The person who wants babies? You fuck. It says who? The person who wants babies?

You fuck. It says what I was looking at right now says spermicide can actually increase chances of STIs such as HIV and chlamydia. Because it can cause irritation, which can lead to the rubbing and blood. Maybe on your dick, bro. Not mine. My dick laughs at spermicide. My dick's like, whatever, bro. But if you have like lambskin, I think lambskin condoms, you can get pregnant anyway.

Like the jizz can get through those things. And I definitely know that diseases can. I thought there was no pregnancy, but yes, diseases. I want to know how when heterosexual people like Charlie Sheen gets HIV. Come on, Charlie. You come clean about everything. What were you doing? I want to know what you were doing.

Were you sharing needles with somebody? Like, what were you doing? Did you take it in the booty? What were you doing? There's no shame in your game. Come on, man. Come clean. Come clean. The problem is that in Charlie Sheen's case, I don't think he remembers.

Probably not. I don't think he remembers probably not I don't know I'm sure I did something but who knows he's so hilarious because when

he came out and talked about it it wasn't like he wants to set the record straight he just doesn't want to pay anybody anymore so he decided to just put a

put a stop to all the financial bleeding that was going on in his life. Boy. That's an interesting tale, the Charlie Sheen tale. Because it went from a tale of sort of almost like heroic excess to like a sadness thing.

Yeah. Big time. You ever see his teeth? No. They're like falling out of his head. Yeah. Yeah, there's like photos of- What kind of drugs are- I don't know. I guess smoking crack's not good for your head. Yeah. Well, yeah, there's like photos or I don't know I guess smoking cracks not good for your teeth. Yeah, I would imagine I would guess that fuck with the enamel

Wow, one of his girls that he's to date says fucking teeth are all falling out And then if you see him when he smiles he smiles like this like he's got like his his lips are cold curled over his teeth Yeah, yeah, it's like it seems fun when you hear about it. He's doing blow, because that's how he rolls, and he's having hookers. But then at the end of it, you realize, oh, this guy's probably completely out of control. Yeah. You know? And probably a slave to these chemicals, but also talented enough that he can figure out

a way to make absorbent amountsant amounts of money and he has really smart people behind him because he went from that two and a half men show where he made exorbitant amounts of money to this other show which was a terrible show which one was it anger management oh yeah terrible show but he got an insane deal yeah where they filmed all 100 episodes like really quickly and so he made hundreds of millions of dollars. They were afraid he would unravel in two months. No, it's a thing where you... It's like a guaranteed syndication deal

where if they did, they would do like a 1090. The way a show would work, you would do 13 episodes, and then you would do the back nine, and the back nine would equal 22, which is a real season. So when we first did news radio, I think the first season we did like 13 episodes, and then you would do the back nine. And the back nine would equal 22, which is a real season. So when we first did news radio, I think the first season we did 13 episodes. And then if you get a pickup, everybody gets excited.

Oh, we got a pickup for the back nine. So what they decided to do instead of that was do a 10-90. So you do the first 10 episodes. And if the first 10 episodes go well, you get picked up for the full 100. Wow. Yeah. So the idea is like, look, we've got a hit on our hands let's negotiate accordingly let's go we got charlie sheen i don't know if you know but charlie sheen was a big part of anger man or two and a

half men made billions of dollars for the network and we can do the same thing for ufx and so they they bought hook line and sinker into this deal and it just fucking went right into the shitter no success whatsoever? Like, it was just that not only it sucked but nobody watched it or what?

That's a good question. I imagine that people would watch Charlie Sheen just because it's like a train wreck about to happen, you know? Well,

it was not a bad show at first, you know? It was one of those shows where people watched it and it got like, it's hard to do a good sitcom Man, there's not a lot of good writers

You have to have really good dedicated writers that are funny And then you have to have an actor who knows how to pull it off You have to have a showrunner who's got experience and putting those things together There's an art form to creating a sitcom all all itself You know I was on one for five years And I got to see it pretty intimately from a bunch of different levels. From the level of really talented, really smart actors who can figure out how to manipulate a scene and make it funny. And the level of really smart, really good writers who really know how to craft a scene.

And then networks with good ideas and networks with shit ideas. And then you've got to put them all together and good luck and then you have to back then you had to have a good time slot too that was a big part of it because people had to know that you were on again now times have changed right nobody cares about it anymore it's just not even an issue well that's why netflix has got it down watch it whenever you want not only that the whole season comes out at once that's beautiful that's the best way comes out at once. That's beautiful. That's the best way. I can watch things one episode, one week, one episode, the next.

That to me is bullshit. I wait for the season to be over. I'll try to just tune spoilers out. And if I catch them, I'll forget anyway. It doesn't matter. And just binge on it once it comes out and just watch everything in two, three days and be done with it. I watch Walking Dead every week. Yeah.

Really? You'd watch it like just one episode? But I don't watch it on TV. I don't watch it like while it's on TV. I watch it on iTunes the next day. I watch it on Apple TV. I wait for the season. Fuck those commercials.

That's ridiculous. What do I have to pay? Five bucks? Yeah. To not have a commercial? Fuck you. Totally worth it. My time is way more valuable than those

15-minute chunks where you just interrupt with stupid music and dancing frogs or whatever the fuck you're Geico. Oh, I'm selling insurance. Fuck, you just ruined this zombie show. You've ruined the mood. That show is awesome. It's a good show. That show, I dig it.

You know what's the better one? Which one? The LA one. I saw that one. The Fear the Walking Dead. Yeah. They only did a few episodes, but it's a really well-directed and well-shot show and really well-acted. The only thing...

I agree with you. It's awesome. It's very well done. The only thing I didn't dig were the characters. You know, the characters of the main story of The Walking Dead, there's some cool characters that you dig, that you care about them. Right. These guys, you kind of want them to all get eaten by zombies. You know, it's just like

you don't give a fuck about any of them. They are all like I want the woman to freak out. She doesn't seem to freak out very easy. Enough, yes. Yeah, she's like real almost too calm. She should be shitting her pants. People are eating people all around you bitch. Your neighbors are monsters. very easy yes yeah she's like real almost too calm she should be in her pants people are eating people all around you your neighbors are monsters yeah they haven't turned into like

zombie looking either they're like they haven't deteriorated enough yeah it's the beginning when they still look mostly human yeah yeah i'd like it though i think it's it takes time to develop those characters but like as far as the way it's shot and acted, it seems like it's a better show. Daniel, we're almost out of time, my friend. I got to get the fuck out of here. Cool. What else going on?

I should tell people about History on Fire, for sure, your amazing podcast. Thank you, my man. And you opened up first episode with that, well, not first episode,

but episode, not zero, but episode one was one of my favorite stories you've ever told. That fucked up story about the crucifixions. If you want some fucked up stories, the latest one I think was episode five as a story that make the crucifixion look like a Disney movie. What's it about?

There's a story. It's a complicated, long story, but to go for the essential element, there's like these two Persian brothers who are princes who are fighting for this in this civil war for power and the mom of both of the guys is pissed when one of them get killed and so at one point she's really pissed off and she wants the guy who actually killed her son to be executed but she can't really go to her other son and say execute this motherfucker because he was doing he was obeying the other son's orders, right? So she find a way for him to fuck up, for him to say something that will piss off her other son, the king.

And then the way they execute this dude is they put him in a box with only his head, his arm, and his legs sticking out, but his whole body is trapped in this box. They force feed him honey and other weird shit that for the next few days, the guy is being force-fed start shitting all over inside the box this attracts maggots like flies that lay maggots in there and stuff and they literally start walking their way inside of him so he has maggots hatching inside of him and eating him for the next two weeks under the file happy tales from the ancient world the kind of

crazy shit that you want big i mean what crazy motherfucker sit down and think i want to kill somebody but i don't just want to kill him let's figure out i mean a slow torturous method of killing someone that's pretty fucking weird if you ask people are goddamn creative like you look at what they did during the inquisition all the different ways they killed people yeah yeah yeah oh yeah the game of thrones one where they put a rat on your stomach put a plate on it and like that's a true story that's like inquisition stuff they did that for real yeah but actually just so not all of history on fire is about crazy gross stuff there are actually some pleasant stories here and there.

But yeah, of course, the intense, weird moments are there as well. There's one that you would dig. I think the episode three was about the Iceman, the guy that they found in the Alps from 5,000 years ago. And it's kind of like this murder mystery because we found out that he was shot with an arrow. We found all these things about his life. we have found out that he was shot with an arrow. We found all these things about his life and there are some crazy ass details that archaeology can give us about

this guy's life, what he was doing. There's evidence that he may have been doing acupuncture 2,000 years before it was ever done in China. There were like crazy stuff. What was the evidence of him doing acupuncture? Did they find needles? No, they found like these tattoos, but they're not tattoos like

artistic tattoos. They are like dots and lines and they are all along acupuncture points. They are all along points where he was in pain. So they think

that it was kind of some primitive form of acupuncture that you would dig in that spot with needles and then you would seal it with like possibly like

the way they do moksha you know where they burn herbs on that spot and it leaves that's probably how those tattoos originated. Wow. And it's trippy. It's like that rewrites history in so many ways.

Like 2000, some crazy European 2000 years before acupuncture was in China was doing something very similar to that. That's pretty weird in itself. Never mind the whole murder mystery aspect of it also. I don't know. I dig these stories. There are so many out there in history that I have a feel they just pick in one and then research in the hell out of it for a couple of months. Well, there was another new one they were saying rewrites history. They found a mammoth, a dead body of a mammoth that had clear evidence of human predation. Like one of the ribs had been shattered, I think, with a spear or something like that.

But the problem was it was 45,000 years old in Siberia, and they didn't even know the people were there back then. Right. So they're like, okay, well, I guess we're a little off here with the time, too. It just keeps going on and on. I don't remember the exact specific details of this story. It's almost the problem with the overabundance of stories on the internet. You almost get too many of them.

I know. They're just coming at you all day. I was telling that to Jamie right before we started. I was like, Jesus Christ, I love internet,

but at the same time, I need to get out of the way sometime because it's just too much stuff. There's good stuff, but too much. You could go down a motherfucking rabbit hole.

I went down a penis, a penis operation rabbit hole the other day. Somebody sent me a link. Matt Staggs actually sent me a link to some guy who grew back his foreskin i was like all right let's see what he did so this guy like put like weights and stretched out his foreskin and all this different shit and so then uh from that you know like the suggestions over the right hand side on youtube one of them was like this penis operation i was like oh christ so then i go to this thing and this guy is under and this guy they install a pump in his ball sack and so the doctor with his rubber gloves covered in blood

is squeezing on this guy's balls and it's turning this guy's dick hard and we're like what like that's what liberace had apparently he had one of them pumps They put a Like a pump Like you're pumping your dick up With fluid I guess There's like a fluid in there And then you hit a button and it releases it And your dick goes flaccid again

It's fucking bizarre The head doesn't get hard though The head is like sort of Yeah like a floppy head It didn't seem like I was disappointed. Does it work? That kind of defeats the purpose. It was strange

and there was all these other penis operations that I just couldn't do it. I couldn't get into it. Yep, that's the internet for you. Yeah, you can go deep. You can go deep. Alright, Daniele Bolelli, thank you very much, sir. Your book Not Afraid, it is out right now. Daniele Bolelli. Thank you very much, sir. Your book, Not Afraid, it is out right now. Daniele Bolelli, author also of Create Your Own Religion,

History on Fire podcast, D. Bolelli, B-O-L-E-L-L-I on Twitter. Thank you, my brother. Always a good time chatting with you. All right, fuckers. We'll be back tomorrow with Kyle Kingsbury, former UFC fighter, all-around great guy, and fanny pack enthusiast. He'll be here tomorrow. See you. All right, fuckers. We'll be back tomorrow with Kyle Kingsbury, former UFC fighter, all-around great guy, and fanny pack enthusiast. He'll be here tomorrow.

See you. Bye-bye.