The Joe Rogan Experience - #774 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

Episode Date: March 15, 2016

Brendan Schaub is a mixed martial artist and also a former college & pro football player. Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian. Together they host "The Fighter & The Kid."

Was she hot, though? No. No. Like a bag of water. Yeah! Yes! Boys! Yes!

Yeah! First of all, that is a beautiful t-shirt you're wearing there, Mr. Shaw. Thank you, sir. Thank you. It's got the newest version of the Master Kim shirt. Not out yet. Accentuates his tits. That's a fucking dope tiger, man.

It's like sort of a half-dragon-y tiger thing going on. Very Asian, with an Asian T-Fat K. Yeah, man. Who's doing your artwork? tiger man it's like sort of a half dragon-y tiger thing going on very asian with the asian t-fat k yeah man who's doing your uh artwork i got a couple of guys this one i collabed with a guy his name's on instagram painted demons and so the two guys i used are both from tap out back in the tap out tap out days so justin and this guy painted demons jettisoned we just get together the world of t-shirts yeah Fuck, man. Yeah, man. I love it. The tap out thing is so strange.

It's like, there's a few companies like that, right? Like Von Dutch. Remember Von Dutch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Von Dutch became Ed Hardy.

Yeah. Oh, is that what happened? Not really. I wore that shit. I wore Ed Hardy. The people that would have worn Van Dutch if they had been

five years younger were now wearing Ed Hardy. They call him Ed Retardy. I don't know why. Well, Ed Hardy was a legit tattoo artist. Super legit. Yeah. I mean, he's like a famous tattoo artist.

I think he's dead. Is he dead? Well, the kind of guys that wear, like, they're usually- Easy. I used to wear some Ed Hardy. But they're usually super muscular guys, shave their forearms. They got the skin like a hot dog, to use your term. You're talking Jersey Shore.

Here's the deal. I mean, we can demonize those guys all day long, and we do, and it's funny. But they're just trying to get laid. The only reason why, we wouldn't wear those things if we were all going camping together. No, it's called peacocking. You don't wear rhinestones because you're looking to fuck your buddy. Dude, they've done studies that when a man wears jewelry... Don Ed Hardy, born in 1945.

He's still alive? Wow. That's your sweet ass. He's alive. He looks a lot younger there. No, that's not him. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

That's a different guy with a shitty shirt on. He's known for those sailor tattoos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The original sailor tattoos. Yeah, he was like one of the great Americana tattoo artists. He would make those really cool, like his stuff was not realistic looking at all. It was like cartoonish.

There he is. Look at him. Powerful motherfucker. He looks awesome. He made bank. He looks like a closet pervert. Yeah. It's just weird that a tattoo artist,

like I knew him from the tattoo magazines. Yeah. Because before I ever got a tattoo, I was like really into tattoos. I'd buy the magazines and check out all the really cool artworks like Paul Booth. You ever see that guy? Yeah, man. From down in New Jersey?

Yep. God damn that guy. That guy, he won't let you tell him what to draw. Really? Yep. Really? Yep. You just got to trust him?

Yep. Damn. He's got a style and his style is like demonic white eyeballs, black and gray, really cool, super detailed, amazing tattoos. Here's, look at this fucking guy. Look what he looks like. Paul Booth. He doesn't look like he's going to take no for an answer.

I'm using your body as an experiment. Damn. Look at that poster in the back. Fighting terrorism since 1492. That's American Indians. A bunch of Indians. Yeah. That's Native American.

I had a t-shirt like that. Really? Yeah, I stopped wearing it. Sick. I felt like, what is this message I'm doing? It's awesome. What should I, I might sleeve out just because I want to be 49 and sleeved. I'm 48 and sleeved.

Yeah, but somehow it fits you. I like tattoos, man. If you like tattoos, it fits you. I love the artwork. I like tattoos. I love the art that goes into it, man. I love it. And as I get older, I like girls that if you like tattoos it fits you I love the artwork I love the art that goes into it I love it and as I get older

I like girls that are tattooed up me too I didn't used to like them I've always loved them I used to be like oh you crazy damaged bitch nah

but now I'm like wait a minute I'm a crazy damaged bitch too yeah man guys are crazy damaged too the only website I ever bought like a

you know like subscribe to where I used a credit card to get access is Suicide Girls. And that's how much they turn me on. But that's just pictures, right? Yeah. They don't even... No, just pictures.

You're just jacking off to pictures? I didn't jack off. I just would look at them and be like, that was my girlfriend. No, you jacked off for sure. Why? Otherwise, why would you get it? Well, I'm a chronic masturbator, but I have YouTube or fucking RedTube and all that stuff. But you know what?

There's an attraction to a girl that covers her back and her arms with tattoos for some reason because this girl doesn't give a fuck. She's a badass. Well, she knows that this is permanent, and she's like, yeah, whatever. Draw on me. Yeah. Pull up some pictures of that Paul Booth stuff, because some of his stuff is insane. He did that dude who... Fucking... Yeah, look at that.

Like that kind of shit. Hey, man, you're not putting that on my body, though. I'm going to need to see the artwork before you put it on me. It's really good, though. No, but he's so good, dude. People wait for years. Hold on. Back up to that one with the tentacles.

Damn, that shit is sick. Look how insane that is. Go full screen with that, please. You know what? That's fucking dope. That's insane. See, I would get that. Do it, Callan.

I'd be like, why is Brian doing that? Well, why isn't he? See, that's your problem. Let me tell you what your problem is. What? This is your problem. You worry about what people think. Well, that shit ain't good for you.

I don't know. I don't know that that's true. Yeah, you do. Definitely. That's why you don't have a nice car. And that's why you wear weird shoes that zip up on the sides. Getting a Tesla.

I'm getting a Tesla. He is getting a Tesla. He ordered it. I ordered it. They fucking drive themselves. I had it. You know that, right? I got that.

I know. You know how crazy that is? I got the autopilot. Talk to Tom Papa about it. Yeah, well, I'm getting one. I'm picking it up on March 31st. My buddy Matt, Matt Lichtenberg, he's got one, and he said he gets on the highway. You press a button twice, I guess. Yeah. it drives itself, and he just starts texting people.

Not for me, man. It's just not for me. I said to the guy, he explained it to me at the test of leadership, and I said, I wouldn't use that, and he said, oh, yes, you will. Like he was from the future. Especially you, and how much traffic you're in, it makes sense. Well, listen, man, when you have a nice car, it makes driving a fun experience. Right.

Whereas if you have a... Look, there's nothing wrong with just having a utilitarian car. You know, Brock Lesnar used to drive around in like... It was like a Chevy Citation or something like that. It was like some weird little red fucking compact car. That guy used to get in that thing. And he's, what? All of 300 pounds.

Every fucking minute. He's enormous. Thicker than a... He makes me, like when I stand next to him, like we're not the same species. It's a totally different kind of human being. Like a bear or a dog. He'll make you rethink your career. I remember seeing him and I was like, ah, maybe this isn't for me. I've shaken some people's hands before, like Shaq.

He shakes Shaq's hands. Shaq has these... But there's two guys, like Shane Carwin and Lesnar. Both those guys. He'd shake their hand and he'd go, okay, we're not the same. Try getting hit with one of those fucking meat shovels. I can't imagine that you did. I can't imagine meat shovels. Meat shovels.

I can't imagine that you did. I think with cars, for me, because I didn't grow up with any cars. My parents were never into cars. So if you don't know the difference, like sometimes you got to know the difference. Oh, like grow up with it? Yeah. I didn't grow up with it. I just didn't grow up with it.

I don't think I've ever driven a fast car. I drove a Porsche once in traffic and I couldn't open it up. So I didn't, I just don't, I didn't grow up to, I didn't grow up appreciating what the car was. Listen, he tried asking to drive my car like, fuck no. You should take his car up to like Little Tujunga. Like, do you drive a stick? I do, yeah.

I learned on a stick. Listen, I'll let you drive the GT3. It'll change your life. Really? He'd be like crazy eyes on fucking Mr. Deeds. I'm sure I'd love it. Change your life. He would ruin your car.

No, no, no. He drives good. He's a good driver. But you would understand. Maybe the Tesla's the beginning of my... Oh, the Tesla's really fast. Super fast. Really fast.

One of the fastest cars in the world, especially if you download that app. Stupid, stupid fast. Well, he told me that they can... Like, if I want it faster, they can upgrade it. Yeah. Which is crazy. Yeah, there's like some insane mode. I don't think you need that, though.

Ludicrous, ludicrous. I don't think you need that, though. 2.8 seconds. 0-60 in 2.8 seconds. That's so crazy. Of course I don't think you need that though. Ludicrous, ludicrous. I don't think you need that though. 2.8 seconds. 0 to 60 in 2.8 seconds. That's so crazy for a big four-door sedan. That's insane. For a four-door sedan to hit 60 in less than three seconds and with no sound. Right.

It's like... There's no rumble. There's no explosions. It's like... There are two things I wish I want to start wearing, but it's too late for me. It's not too late. I want that tattoo. Get it.

We can do it. Well, he won't do it. He might do it, but he might do something better. You just got to go to him. Well, I also want to wear. I can't do that. I can't do that. Just trust him.

Bro, I don't fucking like snakes. Sorry, bro. That's what you get. That's how it works. Maybe you could say, look, my mom was killed by a snake. Could you lay off the snakes? And he would just do like bats or some shit. Now you're going to get what you're going to get. It's a snake Wednesday. I mean, he's a killed by a snake. Could you lay off the snakes? And he would just do like bats or some shit. Or is he like, now you're going to get what you're going to get.

It's a snake Wednesday. I mean, he's a fucking artist, essentially. I mean, not essentially, 100%. And he looks at his art and he says, you know what, man? People commission me to do pieces and this is what I want to do. So I'm just going to say, I'm only going to take that work. I get it. Maybe I'm wrong, though.

I mean, I believe that's how he does it. I've heard that before mean i believe that's how he does it i've heard that before he does it i appreciate it i don't think there's any bigger artist than in southern cal for tattoo artists it's the scene man for sure oh yeah it's a great spot if not the best in the world i mean it is the thing about killers here the tattoos are a shamrock you got cartoon you got in oc you got some Killers. Yeah. Kat Von D. All over the country right now, there's a resurgence in tattooing. Like tattooing over the last few decades has become like a really respected art form.

Instead of just like, a lot of them were like weirdo fringe type artists who just were really into it, but there's a stigma attached to it. You know, there's always a stigma attached to being tattooed up. Yeah. You know, and now it's not. Like if you have tattoos, like aaron delva dova did this and this is like 50 hours of work you know and he he planned it all out as one sleeve he did this one too he does both my really good i think a lot of it is but he's a friend too so like i go down there we hang he's cool as fuck he's an amazing artist you you get a close bond with your tattoo artist like mine's uh freddy

negretti who's who's done all this from shamrock social club in hollywood there and you know he's he grew up rough man he started tattooing in prison so he's a rough dude but the first hour with him i was like god this is the worst he was like wasn't talking to me it was kind of mean i was like fuck it's gonna be a long time but then opened up, and he's my boy now, man. That's funny. He was mean. Just gangster. Yeah, he's great, man. Maybe he was worried that you were a dumb jock type character.

100%, yeah. You're very deceiving in that way. Yeah, he is. A lot of people have the wrong idea of you. And also, people get mad at you from podcasts. Ladies and gentlemen, I know it's fun to hate, and I've done it before. But you've got to gotta understand we play up shit like when you ramp things up

you say ridiculous shit he knows what he's doing he's doing it because it's ridiculous to say yeah I want the reaction he's a natural showman it's fun it's so much fun

comedy is about exaggeration sometimes a lot of it yes a lot of it is I mean that's some of the funnest shit yeah you know but I think tattoos for me

Is I think One I didn't I don't know that I express Tattooing I don't know that there's anything I can I can never make up a mind

First of all What I want on my body It's timidity You're making it too big of a deal Like I don't give a It's cool It's art What looks so good about your arm by itself

Well the muscle Look at the The striation and the separation. Even if you have a nice arm, if you have a big muscle, your arm is fit. I mean, you're fit. You're a fit guy. But it's just skin. You go to a great artist and you have art on your body.

What would I get? It's permanent art. Forever. You can get whatever you want. Why don't you guys both get Fighter and the Kid tattoos? Boom, son. You know once we get to 10 million downloads he has to get a tattoo that was the deal we made that bet that's right well

lucky not on my show me and a tesla what are you gonna get look i don't fucking know hey man i'm gonna go all out i'm gonna go balls out and just get medusa on my back. Medusa? Yeah. You know who Medusa is? Like a big one? Of course I know who Medusa is. He's a goddamn American. Sorry.

Fuck yeah, you know who King Kong is? Bro, you ever heard of King Kong? Are you familiar with Bigfoot? You know about gorillas, bro? Sorry, everybody. You ever see Lassie, bro? You never saw Lassie? You know Flipper's not a fish, right?

It'd be funny if I got Lassie. Do you know who Medusa is? That would be a great tattoo. That's a big smiley Lassie in full color. Who's that shitty dog? That's Lassie. I got Lassie on my back. Doesn't Cerrone have Lassie on his back?

He should. No, no, he has a pit bull. It was his pit bull when he was a kid. Oh, my bad. It's like, no, I don't think so, man. I would like to get... It's a good tattoo of his dog. That's his dog from when he was a kid? Yeah, it passed away. I'd like to get... It's a good tattoo of his dog. That's his dog from when he was a kid?

Yeah, it passed away. I'd like to get something silly. Maybe a cow. Ari Shafir got keep on truckin' tattooed on his body. That's brilliant. On his hip. Dude, I love that shit. I love that.

I love that. What else can I get? Dude, there's some great tattoos in the UFC, and there's some terrible tattoos. Let's be and there's some terrible tattoos in the OC. Yeah, let's be nice. Oh, for sure. Let's be nice. Yeah, I don't have to call anyone out.

Hey, I have some shitty tattoos myself, man. Do you ever see that Instagram? Conor McGregor can slow down a little bit. The one on the stomach's a little too real for me. It needs to look like a tattoo. Well, the tiger on the stomach, and then the McGregor above it. And he gave up his abs. I know.

That's what bothers me. How dare you? People kill themselves what bothers me. How dare you? People kill themselves for that abs. How dare you? I could have done without the crown being that up his neck. No, that's gangster. See, I like that. I would love a neck tattoo.

I like the straight blast gym gorilla. Me too. And then the crown on top of it. I think that's bad. Me too. That's my favorite tattoo. I like the writing up his back. I like that.

Well, that's weird. And I like symmetry. I actually like it. Do like the writing up his back. I like that. Well, that's weird. And I like symmetry. How much do you like it? Like, do suicide girls like it? Yeah. Like, do I crouch to jerk off? Do you pay money for a website that has his photos? Does your wife ever be in cats?

No. No. No. I'm going to get her a tattoo that says, mine. Ooh. Oh. That's aggressive. Anybody could use that one, though.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. You put cowens. Now, mine. Now, mine. Mine. Mine. women don't like that they don't like to be owned yeah at my or do they at my wedding i said depends which one ones with tattoos do at my wedding i i i've made a speech and thanked my parents and everybody and i stopped

and i went and amanda you are and i was waiting they were bracing like i was gonna say something really sweet i went amanda you are my property now. And that's what this is about, isn't it, folks? And everybody started laughing. Did you get a dowry? I did not get a dowry. That's how it used to be. You marry your daughter off.

Daughters are so useless. You gotta give stuff. Hey, you know who cries at weddings? This guy. Aw, sweetie. I could not. I cried. I don't know what it is about weddings.

Divorce. You know divorce is coming. Yeah, because you know it's not going to end well. No, at my sister's wedding, I was in the wedding and I was... Well, it's your sister. But that's what they... The reason why they used to give away a dowry was because the woman was thought of as being less valuable than the man, right?

Because times are tough and people are dying in war and famine and fucking sword fights and shit. Yeah. And so if you had daughters, the way you would marry them off to a good person like you have to give them something Yeah, give the dude something to marry your daughter. It was also a way of joining families So you'd give like oh here's my daughter and here's a bag full of gold a ton of cash But that was the way that was like super calm. Let's bring this shit back, but it didn't go the other way That's what's fascinating about modern culture

is the divorce is horrific for men. Marriage and divorce can often be horrific for men financially. And just from the limited amount of exchanges I've had with friends that have been divorced, it's fucking horrific. The amount of money they lose is insane. Especially in California.

And the amount of money they have to give off because we know a few people that have done well and made good money, and then it doesn't go well when it comes to the divorce, and you find out the sums of money they have to pay out. Well, you have to maintain their lifestyle when you guys were together. Exactly. And if you're a fighter,

I have a fighter friend who went through a divorce, and at the time when he was with her, he was a badass making bank. Right. Well, that career's over. with her, you know, he's a badass making bank. Right. Well, that, that career is over, you know?

Yeah. It's tough, man. It is tough. It's just crazy. For athletes especially. But it's weird how it's switched around. Like it used to be that the,

the man would get a lot out of getting married to the woman. So it'd be like worth something. It'd be like a big thing. Like they had to give up a dowry. And now it becomes the woman, if she decides, you know, there's a lot of power in that, especially if you marry like a rich guy. You know, you marry some Donald Trump character.

Even if he's got a locked down fucking prenup. You're still set, son. You're getting cash. Especially if you have a kid. Yeah, he'll give you a few mil just to get the fuck away from you. If Donald Trump writes you a check for two million bucks, he makes that in a month. That ain't no thing to him. Probably not even a month.

He probably makes that in a week. When you've got four billion dollars, that's four thousand million dollars. That's insane. It's kind of crazy. Apparently he doesn't have that much money, but yeah. But that's what he's worth. He says he's worth ten, but they say he's probably worth four. I read estimates that if you take out the debt and everything and how much he puts into his business,

if you actually looked at what he has money-wise, he's closer to $200 million. Broke-ass bitch. Fucking scrub. No, that can't be real. $200 million. That's people hating on him, though. That was according to John Oliver and some other stuff I read. Haters.

How do they know? Know your sources, son. How do they totally really know? It's a tough thing to figure out but you can apparently look at his assets he's not releasing and you can look at how much it costs you can estimate what it would cost to run those based on employees and insurance and all that and then they have to a lot of times i think a lot of companies i mean certainly if they're public but i don't know private but there are statements there are. There are public tax statements.

Fucking poor Trump, man. The struggle is real. And people can- You say only 200 mil? Yeah. Fucking A. But I don't know. Yeah, I just think we don't know,

so we probably should be throwing numbers around. Either way, he's rich as fuck. He's rich as fuck. Fuck, son. You know what's hilarious, man? I watched a little bit of the Democrat debate. I usually don't like debates. Yeah.

But Bernie Sanders sent it home. Sent it home on Hillary Clinton. Dude, there's some shit that she just couldn't say nothing about. When they were talking about the pharmaceutical industries and the banking industry, the banking industry in particular, he was talking about, that's what it was, he was talking about the speeches that she gives for hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then he was talking about the speeches that she gives for hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then he's talking about how many speeches. Why can't we get the transcripts from these speeches?

What an amazing speech it must have been to be worth $250,000 or whatever the fuck it was. And Hillary was nervous as fuck. She threw a cough drop in her mouth. She's sweating and like half fake smiling. She can't say anything. He's like, you could read the transcripts of all the times I've performed and did speeches in front of the banking industry because there are none. Damn, son.

This is a guy who took his vacation. He took his vacation with his wife in the Soviet Union. Yeah, he's an interesting guy. Yeah. He's a very interesting guy. There's a site I tweeted out last night. It's called isidewith.com. Especially if I'm not too into politics.

We go to this, and they have all the major issues. And you click multiple choice, what you think is major, and it goes through all of them. And then it says who you most likely should vote for. It gives you a percentage. It's pretty dope. Well, see, my feeling about Hillary is she seems like business as usual. Yeah, I agree. Whether she would be good or not, she's 100% business as usual.

She's politician, yeah. And I think that is the last shit this country needs right now, is this same system. So you're trying to bring in Trump? I would bring in Bernie or Trump before I'd bring in Hillary. Although, I'd bring in Bernie because I think that he would shake shit up culturally. I don't know if that he would shake shit up culturally. I don't know if that's the best thing, though. See, but here's the thing.

He can't do that. He can't really pass all that. You need Congress. Yeah, there's a lot of steps. And the idea of what he's trying to tax, socialism, it's kind of crazy. It defies human nature. Because human nature, when you give people a way to not have to work for things, they do. There's some people that fall upon hard times.

There's some people that get a bad break, a bum steer in life. There's a bunch of people that are doing poorly that it's not their fault. But there's also a bunch of people that are just fucking lazy. That's probably the majority, wouldn't you say? I don't know. I don't know what the numbers are. I've never examined them. The bottom line is you don't want to penalize people that produce.

Yes, exactly. And you don't want to tax people that produce who also create wealth. You don't want to tax them 75% the way France under Hollande is trying to do and has done. It just doesn't work out because people that produce will stop producing. If I have to work 75% of my day for

someone else for the greater good, we've seen how that works in just pick up a history book. It doesn't work that well. How old is Bernie? He's old as fuck. His ass ain't going to make it very long. I think the bigger question should always be rather than Bernie or just to ask yourself to what percentage, what percentage are you willing to give your power and your money? Like, is it 50%?

Dude, is it 40%? I'm telling you, you go to this site. For me, I have no fucking investment in this site. But you go to this site and it literally breaks it down. It's a lot of stuff I didn't know about. It breaks down very simple. You just multiple choice and it shows, boom, this is who believes in the way you do

and this is who you should vote for. So who believes in the way you do? Fuck, man. The one I would never think, Hillary Clinton. See, but here's the thing. She's a centrist. You can't tell what she really believes in. way you do. Fuck, man. The one I would never think. Hillary Clinton. See, but here's the thing. She's a centrist. You can't tell what she really believes in. That's right.

What's the way she would vote? Did you see what she said about Nancy Reagan and Ronald Reagan? Fucking liberals are abandoning her now. Because she was trying to say that Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan opened up the conversation about AIDS during the 80s. That is total bullshit. Not only is it total bullshit, silence is death is like a campaign because they weren't talking about it. They wouldn't talk about AIDS for fucking years.

Yeah, it's terrible. For like two years. I remember it very well. And that wasn't a good administration just because Nancy died. Yeah, she died and I bet she was a nice lady. She was really into astrology and she was married to a president. That's it. We're done here.

You don't have to lie about them opening up some sort of a fucking dialogue with this country about AIDS. That's just not what they did. Hillary's biggest liability is that people don't trust her. She's just not likable. Based on her history. That was another thing in the debate. They said 37%. Yeah.

That is insanely low insane she's behaved in a corrupt way trust her yeah only 37 trust women don't trust her in your country there's no women trust her less that's so crazy yeah and she needs a stylist but here's the here's the biggest thing all of them do if she is more like obama if you look at the past six years, the economy right now is not doing terribly. And this is a guy who believes probably I'm a little bit more to the right, at least fiscally, than someone like Obama. But I have to say that, you know, I was preaching about how, you know, under Obama, if you look at his policies, the government's going to grow. The government, because of a lot of factors, it's not just Obama, but if you look at a lot of measures for how government has grown, it's kind of stayed exactly flatlined in the past six years. It hasn't grown.

A lot of that's because we don't have as big a tax base and things like that. But there are a lot of factors that go into it. But you know what? In six years, it's not like the economy's a disaster. By a lot of measures, the economy's doing really well. So that's hard for conservatives to argue with. Right, but let me just... What's the word?

Blind allegiance? No. Devil's advocate. Devil's advocate. Blind allegiance popped into my head. I'm like, why is that word? I don't know. I was like, awesome word, though.

That's the wrong one. But if you look at it from a Republican point of view, one thing that could be easily argued is there is a common cycle of recession and financial gain. It happens. Yeah. And this is exactly what happens after a downfall. Right. So the downfall of our economy in 2008, I don't know shit about finance, but I've read a bunch of stuff that people do know shit about.

And these cycles are reoccurring cycles. Like there's always, as as the the Republic stays up And it's still up and running so he goes down and crashes people readjust some people find their way some people lose their way Some people jump off buildings, and then it builds back up again, and that's what's going on right now So that's one of the things that they argued about Clinton's era They were saying well you could say that Bill Clinton was responsible for all that But the all the signs seemed to indicate that the Clinton was responsible for all that, but all the signs seemed to indicate that the cycle

was moving in that direction anyway. It was just that trend no matter who was there. I'm talking out of my ass for sure and I don't know it exactly. Your point's well taken. If Trump wins, is there going to be chaos? People are so upset. Black people are already

freaking the fuck out that he's this close. Oh, they're protesting. There's fights at his fucking... People are rushing the stage. Yeah. The numbers don't add up for Trump. He doesn't have women. He doesn't have minorities.

Brian, I don't think you're right. You'll see. But look, you can't say you'll see because you don't really know. No, I do know. All I'm saying... Trump will get the nomination. Okay, but all I'm saying is you don't really know. And the problem is it's real possible.

It's real. And just the idea that we got this far. Yeah. It's insane. A lot of Republicans would tell you that the Republicans, once again, because they're not unified, have committed political suicide. The pundits that I've listened to will basically look at these hard numbers and say, you know, the people that you see supporting Trump, yeah, Trump has won, you know, but for the

most part, the popular vote isn't there for him at the end of the day. It's going to go to Hillary. I don't know. We'll see, son. I don't think so. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we will see. I think here's the problem.

He hasn't even started to attack her yet. And he's going to. I can't think so. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we will see. I think here's the problem. He hasn't even started to attack her yet. And he's going to. I can't wait for it. And he's going to attack her in Benghazi. She could be indicted. That's the other thing that we haven't talked about. On two different cases, man. So what happens if she's indicted?

It's a big issue. And we got Trump in this bitch. Do you know about the guy who was the computer analyst that put together her email server? Fucking tell him, Joe. He's got immunity. He just got immunity against prosecution, apparently. So he can... I know so little about this, I shouldn't be allowed to say it.

I love this. So then he's going to squeal like a little piggy. If he squeals like a little piggy, you got real problems. But the idea of giving him immunity with the real... I know I read that somewhere. Make sure that it's correct. Dude, she should just give him like 300 mil to go away. She can't.

She doesn't have that kind of money. She makes good money, but I'm sure she spends it like a motherfucker. Did you ever see the payouts per year from everyone? They get insane amounts of money. Not really. Just her and Trump. Yeah. The other ones aren't.

Her speaking money is off the charts. What does it say? Scroll it down, please. Justice Department grants immunity to staff who set up Clinton email server. Yes. It's true. So what that means is if they did that, that means that they're thinking about a case. And they're probably planning a case.

And if this guy gave up immunity, that means he's got some serious fucking information to get a bigger fish. Who's the bigger fish? Hillary Clinton. I just don't like that. I think that's just crazy because the choices are so poor. It's terrible. Well, because the smart people in America are saying, fuck that job. I don't like that. I think it's just crazy because the choices are so poor. It's terrible. Well, because the smart people in America are saying, fuck that job. I don't mind Bernie Sanders.

I'm telling you, I would almost be willing to give up more money. He's too old. I definitely wouldn't. Here's the problem that I have with giving up more money, though, is that you're giving up more money to the government. And I don't trust the government. That's all. If I could give up money, if you could, here's the thing, if you could have mandated charity for really wealthy people where you could give to- That makes all. If I could give up money, if you could, here's the thing. If you could have like mandated charity for really wealthy people where you could give to.

That makes sense. Like I like to give to something like Justin Renz, we're going to fight for the forgotten. That's a no brainer. I give to that one because I know exactly where the money's going. That's a beautiful one. Exactly. But if you could get like a bunch of good ones, you know, like a good. Yeah.

You know. The problem is so much of that money goes to running the machine that's supposed to dole out the huge recruiting red cross by the way yes united way yeah if you guys look online there's a few websites that detail what percentage of your dollar actually goes to the charity it's crazy really listen at one point at one point the united way at one point what i remember they had a special on it one cent of every dollar was actually going to the charity well the 99 cents was going to running the actual company not only that but like high salaried ceos

like the whole deal it becomes a corporation wounded warrior project do you see that no what i was just rocking their hat the other day. That was a huge controversy because they were, the two guys running it were making a million dollars a year and they were spending on lavish vacations and lavish conferences

and stuff. Is that true? Fuck. They were making a million dollars a year? Yeah, both of them. And now they're nowhere to be found. You want to talk about

the wrong people to fuck over like that? Yeah. Abundance? The trained killers that have come back from serving their country and find out about this kind of shit

but to be fair to those guys but to be fair to the people running the Wounded Warrior project, human beings if you're working for a very big company and you make I think they made over 300 million dollars in donations in one year, they had a huge endowment.

It's when you're working all day, and I'm sure these guys are good people who are working probably 12 hours a day, you're going to put a first-class ticket. It might be a red eye. I've got to sleep. I'm doing all this work. I'm going to spend $500 as opposed to $300. And it just adds up. And what happens is if you're doing a lot of work and you're really good at it,

they might say, hey, you're worth it. We're going to give you a million dollars because a board votes that in. So what I'm saying is that when you have that much money, corruption is going to happen. Before you give them a free pass, we should probably know how they got to that number. I agree. Because these bitches are immoral. All I'm saying is anytime you have a lot of money, it's going to be spent, and people, and there's not enough accountability.

Human beings are going to behave that way. Well, they money, it's going to be spent, and people, and there's not enough accountability. Human beings are going to behave in that way. Well, they just, it's anonymous. You're getting more money. We're all doing a good job here. We deserve something. Isn't that like the biggest illusion is that people with money are happier? It might be the biggest illusion that exists in the world today. Yes.

Because everybody really wants to be happy, but we really want to figure out how to get happy. And the one thing that we can't figure out how to do is pay the bills. So we're like, fuck, if I could just pay my bills, I'd be happy. Like, that is like one of the prevailing illusions. Well, there's a certain point where you make enough money where the bills are taken care of,

which you're going to be happy and not stressed out about, but then you move on. Yes, it's going to help, but it's not the yes it's gonna help but it's not the answer to everything yeah it's not the answer not at all it certainly makes you happier to not have to pay your bills but how many people do we know that are like super successful multi-millionaires out of their fucking mind miserable yes the richest people I know are the most miserable when I think I did a little inventory on like the times that I think about where that bring did a little inventory on the times that I think about that bring a smile

to my face, the times that I remember being the happiest. Gay stuff? It's almost always when I'm behind a dumpster with a strong guy, very dark with a cowboy hat on. Hairy guys or shaved? No, black. Black is nice. Black and very tall.

Black hairy guys are probably scariest. Oh, it's even better. I don't think I've ever seen a black hairy guy. Well, you haven't hung out with me. Yeah, I've seen, like, their chest hair is more of curly. It's like taco meat. Hey, man. It is like taco meat.

Excuse me? Is that racist? No, because it's a Mexican food. It's okay. Go to blackandhairy.com. But if you said chicken meat, that would be a problem. Now you're in trouble. That's a problem.

You can't say chicken, even though chicken's delicious. It's super delicious. Can you say Thai chicken? If it's Thai chicken? Can you say black people might like Thai chicken, even though chicken's delicious. It's super delicious. Can you say Thai chicken? If it's Thai chicken? Can you say black people might like Thai chicken, or will you get in trouble? I don't know. I would change the subject right now. As soon as you toss watermelon there, we're all fucked.

Oh, you didn't say watermelon. What did I just say about changing the color? I love watermelon. Listen, that's a delicious fruit. You shouldn't bring it up. It's really dangerous. Yeah. It is dangerous.

Delicious, amazing fruit. Back to me and black guys. I'm back to being happy. I've definitely seen hairy black guys before. Yeah. But it's really dangerous. Yeah. It is dangerous. Delicious, amazing food. Back to me and black guys. I've never seen a hairy black guy. Back to being happy. I've definitely seen hairy black guys before. Yeah. But it's less common. Well, not like Russian dudes, like that dude that's entering Abu Dhabi. Do you know that guy?

Is he in Eddie Bravo's? The Eddie Bravo open? Is that the new EBR, the one that's in April? Is that who that crazy giant fucking Russian dude is? Those Russians grow some hair. Arlovsky has to get his shit faded. His shoulders, it was a nice blend. I remember when I was fighting him at the weigh-ins,

I was like, oh shit, I like the shade you got on the shoulders. It was like a one to two guard on his shoulders. Really? Just like a fade. He's hairy. He's hairy. Yeah, he's a hairy fuck. He was really hairy when he was young too,

before he took care of it. Do you know who was the hairiest motherfucker in all of MMA? Gonzaga? Hold on. Dave Herman. You know, it was the hairiest motherfucker in all of MMA I'm on Dave Herman You ever see Dave Herman with a really grew that shit out of his beard was no I'm talking about his whole body No, dude, dude, Dave Herman is a fucking Sasquatch bring him by the way. He's in trouble right now, man I was gonna say he's still alive. That's a huge dude's doing nuts. He's not There's a video that they released of him getting fucked up by cops, man. Oh, man. Yeah, it was like one of those things where the cop told him to get back in the car.

And he's like, why do I have to get back in the car? I told you to get back. It's one of those things where there's an unnecessary altercation between a person and a cop. And egos come in. Exactly. They start fucking him up. And he's a giant. He's very tall.

Dave Herman's gigantic. Dude, I was in a back with him in a corner. Literally, maybe hit mitts for two minutes, and then he's playing a Game Boy, like old school Tetris Game Boy. It was like two years ago. They go, Dave, you're up. He goes, now? They go, yeah. Puts it down, just rolls out there.

And fights. Gonzaga? Is that when he fought Gonzaga? I think so, man. He got KO'd in one round. Whoa! Oh, shit! That's what he looks like. He's got a good body, though. He's a good looking dude. He's shredded. He's got a set of tits on him. He's got some tits. He got KO'd in one round. Whoa! Oh, shit! That's what he looks like. He's got a good body, though. He's a good looking dude. Oh, he's shredded. He's got a set of tits on him. He's got some tits.

He's a talented fuck, too, man. He just, for whatever reason. He was never disciplined. Yeah, he didn't totally put it together. We had that same trainer, the same striking coach, and he was saying, like, he'd be like, dude, you gotta come in and train. How hairy that motherfucker is. Seriously.

He's such a beast, man. So, yeah. My dad makes that guy look like a girl. Okay. Weird dad stuff comes up again. That guy would slap

your dad's face so fucking hard. Kind of quiet after I talk about my dad. Yeah, he'd probably smash your dad. I hate to say it. No, you don't know.

You don't know, bro. Most likely. You don't know. They've heard so much talent though, man. Remember before you got the UFC, he was like 20 and 1 just smashing bitches in Japan. He beat some goodd is so much talent though, man. Remember before he got to the UFC, he was like 20-1, just smashing bitches in Japan.

Yeah, who was he beating? He beat some good names too. Really good names, man. Who did he beat? Oh, man, the Dave Herman days. Once he did get to the UFC, he had that crazy bout with the Abu Dhabi champ. Remember that really big guy? Remember the huge dude? Not Fabiano Schirmer.

No. Who was it? Really big Abu Dhabi guy. Yeah, and he's from Netherlands. Huge. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. God. Fuck.

Damn it. I was supposed to fight him, too. It's the only fight I've ever turned down. I remember that, dude. Why'd you turn down? What the hell's his name? Because he was not big enough. Didn't that guy beat Fabricio Verdum in a jiu-jitsu match?

Yes, in jiu-jitsu. Romero is huge. Yeah, pull up Dave Herman's him and Dave had a fight of the night he was a serious fight of the night serious

John Olive Aino that's it I remembered it before I saw it bam yeah John Olive Aino is a serious fucking Jiu Jitsu

phenom but for whatever reason it didn't really pan out in MMA for him he was fucking huge and he was also a lot older

by the time he got there click on John Olive Aino yeah and it was like right about the time they were like testing for real yeah he lost to mike russo lost to dave herman he beat james thompson yeah yeah he's when i saw him though he was 30 because when i saw him was in 2003 in Brazil. So I guess he was in his 20s at the time. He was a beast on the jitsu. He was wrecking people. Well, he was also confusing for everybody because he came out of nowhere.

Because this guy was a European guy. And all of a sudden he's beating Brazilians. He's beating a lot of top guys. He was right around the time when Gunnar Nelson was wrecking people, too. Everybody found out about Gunnar. That's the only fight I've ever turned down in my UFC career ever. It was after I lost to Noguera. I won another big fight.

And like months went by and they offered me him. I knew him from Jiu-Jitsu, but I had no idea about him from MMA. I was like, get the fuck out of here. And then Joseph was like, oh, yeah, cool. Here's Ben Rothwell. All right, let's do that. Wow. Advisors. Yeah. They're worth something. My manager's like, hey, man All right, let's do that. Wow. Uh-huh. Advisors.

Yeah. They're worth something. My manager's like, hey, man. Yeah, let's do that. Ben Rothwell. You should call that guy up in the middle of the night. Hey, man. Remember that Rothwell fight that you let me take?

Hey, bro. Fuck. Thanks for that, man. Give me some time to adjust. I know, right? That's not the game, my man. So what kind of tattoo are you talking about when you hit 10 million? Just go and get that panther down your neck. Get a panther? You should definitely the game I'm in. So what kind of tattoo are you talking about when you hit 10 million?

Just go and get that panther down your neck. You should definitely get something on your neck. Maybe like a kiss. Fuck, yes. Maybe like a lip kiss. Oh, that'd be sick. Like a realistic one. Get your wife to kiss you. I like that.

I like that tentacles. Yeah, now you're talking nonsense. Yeah, you don't have time to get that. That's going to be hours. That's hours? That's 40, 50 hours. Yeah, that's many days. Yeah. That's five or six days. And you have to have time to get that that's gonna be scared hours that's 40 50 yeah that's many days yeah that's five or six days and you have to take time like that that's a kenyan martin you get your wife to kiss you on the neck 100 no to that of course why dare you

how about if you get one right above your beanbag oh my beanbag my fucking beanbag right above it i hold my dick up while they get i want it i write up above my beanbag i it I hold my dick up Like to the side I want it Right above my bean bag I'm gonna hold my dick up And you just tattoo Another set of balls People do get their dicks

They do get their dicks tattooed Yes they do I've been thinking about doing it No fuck off I wanna make it sparkly Oh yeah It doesn't It doesn't sparkle enough

If you were gonna get your dick tattooed What would you do? Probably Elephant ears Barnacles Barnacles or warts? Elephant ears. I think you mean make it black. That's what you mean, right? Of course I do.

That's what you mean. I'd sleeve it out in dark ink. Yeah, if you could possibly be. Yeah, has any guy ever done that? Because I know guys get their entire forearms black. Have you ever seen that? White guys will do that? It's really weird. It's really weird. It's like they have one color. It's a one color tattoo.

And I always wondered if like there's a cover up, like they maybe had some shitty tattoos. I always knew it as a cover up. Like it was a real bad tattoo, like maybe a girl or something. So then they just black it all out because you can't cover it up. There was a famous dude who had that in a band. What band was that? Raging Machine? Yes, that's right.

That dude, his whole arms was all black. Well, a lot of times, don't recovering addicts get the black band? And they do how many years? And they just go all black? All the way up to your ankles? Yeah, do that shit. I want something on my back, right at the top of my back. Chakras?

You should have your chakras. Yes. Oh, chakras. Yeah, look at this dude. And I want something over my root chakra. See, that looks badass. Yeah, it does. That's very odd.

You take forever. He's in shape, too. Kid's in shape. Who is that guy? He's from Rage. Dude, that looks pretty sweet, though. What's his name, Jamie? Tim C.

Tim C. He doesn't have a name. That's a badass tattoo, man. Yeah, I like those. What are those things? That's from some Japanese symbol. You're talking about the tadpoles in the middle? Yeah.

Is that cum? Is that all cum? Probably. Cyclone. It's called cum. I would get that. Cum in a tornado. I'd have to shave my chest and my arms, but I'd do it.

That's what happens when you cum into a garbage disposal and you hit the button. It's like a symbol of it. Hey, man. Dude, he looks sweet. I'm not mad at that at all. That might be the best one I've seen, though. Yeah. They all don't look like that, though.

He didn't go too deep. He went like a half sleeve, like down to like the bottom of his bicep. It's pretty cool. I like that. It's like he's always wearing armor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty sweet. Maybe I'll get two six shooters on my hips, you guys.

Don't do that. Why? Maybe we'll just get one tucked in your lower back, pointing towards your asshole. Oh, yes. How about just an arrow? Fun starts here. Who are these people that get guns? A lot of fighters do.

Near their belly. Porn stars, porn dudes. Yeah, pointing down towards their dick. Dude, I'll tell you who has the best tattoos in the game as far as girl... Whoa. Excuse me, sir, your cheeks are tatted. This man needs to hit a gym occasionally.

Yeah, I don't like his body. Can't have the dad bod and get all those tats. Yeah, if you're going to work on a tattoo, your body's going to be sleeved out like that. That's't have the dad bod and get all those tats. Yeah, if you're going to work on a tattoo, your body's going to be sleeved out like that. That's not even a dad bod. That's a good luck, getting a woman to fuck you so you can become a dad bod. Yeah, it's a vegan body. How dare you.

Sorry, everybody. How dare you. How dare you start it. Now I'm going to get a bunch of pictures of vegans who are shredded. They're going to be very angry at you. Dude, you know the girl who has the sexiest tats to me? Christy Mack. She's got some good ones. Can I see? She's hot as fuck. That bitch is so bad.

She was in here with War Machine before War Machine beat the fuck out of her. Before he tried to kill her? I listened to some of that podcast. Yeah, she came here. She came here with him. Yeah, she hung out. She took a nap on the couch out there. Dropped dead gorgeous in person, too.

She's very pretty. Very pretty. She's tiny, man. God. She's a tiny girl, which is what, like, you know, you hear all the shit that he did to her, and it's horrific if it was just a chick. He's in prison for life, right? He's gone.

He's gone. But when you see her in real life, she's so tiny. You can't imagine. Pretty in person, though, huh? She's beautiful. You just can't imagine that a guy, I like her with no hair. Look at that picture. Me too.

See that? I like that for the same reason why I hair. Look at that picture. Me too. See that? I like that for the same reason why I like, look at that picture below where FD beat the fuck out of her in the hospital. That's not what you're oh yes-ing. Hell no. I'm talking about the hot one. You gotta clarify though. People are listening to this.

Oh, sorry bro. That's the yes one. The beat up one I'm not trying to see. Fuck. He kicked the shit out of her legs. He tried killing her man. She got away. Yeah.

He was going to get a knife and she escaped. Yeah, he kicked the shit out of her legs. He tried killing her, man. She got away. Yeah, he was going to get a knife and she escaped. Yeah, he's a mess. She's the hottest chick in the game for sure. Well, she's definitely one of them.

Porno games? She's very pretty but my point is like I can't imagine she's like a little kid. She weighs like 100 pounds. Really? She's that small?

She's tiny, man. She's fucking tiny. I mean, she might weigh 110. Damn, so she's super tiny. So War Machine, I mean, really fucked her's fucking tiny. I mean, she might weigh 110. Damn. So she's super tiny. So War Machine, I mean, really fucked her up. Yeah. I mean, I'm not that good at numbers, but she ain't a big girl.

She's like 5'1", maybe. She's tiny. Jesus. You know, the idea that he beat the fuck out of her like that, it's just so crazy. I listened to some of that podcast, and he sounded like there's something about guys who talk real fast like that. You know, he's like, yeah. So for me, you know, it's like a fight or fight.

You got to realize. Was he nervous? Oh, is that? Oh, I'm sure. You know, he's on a podcast. He knows a million people are going to hear it. Right. I never think of that.

I never think of that. But for some people, it's a big deal. He's also a guy who did a lot of stuff. Yeah. He's done a lot of steroids for sure. A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. Had a lot of head trauma. stuff had a lot of head trauma

like his whole thing with you know i've noticed some serious demons i've noticed with fighters some fighters that there is that adderall like uh energy guys have been fighting for a long time that's from head trauma yeah that's what it feels like yeah you got erratic behavior breathing is a little bit erratic sometimes also they don't have they can't keep it together very long like they can't keep it together if something's boring they can't keep together something is like if something gets annoying to them they don't have a good like way of like staying calm a lot of a lot of them too on a lot of them i'm one of them but a lot of them they on our podcast or you know personal conversations the jump all over the board. They will never finish a story or come back around.

The jump all over. Well, when War Machine, he watched his dad die, right? Wasn't that? He had some super dark demons, man. Remember him on Tough? He got arrested when he was really fucking young. Cops beat the fuck out of him when he was a teenager for nothing. He tells a

story and i i i tend to believe him man i tend i think that he's definitely made some fucking horrible choices in life no doubt but i also think he got fucked life fucked him he got a rough life fucked him early end of cards yep fucked him and he was around a bunch of other people that also got fucked, and it's real hard to discern what direction to go through in your life. I mean, there's been a gang of people like that have gone in and out through the UFC. They've been surrounded with shitheads and psychos and fucking criminals their whole life. They don't know peace and normalcy. That's all they know. You still can't try and kill a bitch, though.

Especially when she's that pretty. No, what he did was horrific. Of course. Horrific. But that's also a breakdown of an ability to cope at all. It sounds like he had bouts of madness. You know, well, he came home. He came over to her house.

He wasn't supposed to be there. They were separated, though. Yeah, he wasn't supposed to be there. He came over to her house, and she was with a guy. She's a porn star. Yeah. Well, she supposed to be there. He came over to her house, and she was with a guy. She's a porn star. Well, she's hot, too, and guys want to fuck her. If he's not fucking her, someone's going to want to fuck her. Yeah, you're lucky I didn't slide in them DMs, because you come over, you're going to be real sad,

because I'm going to whoop your ass in front of the girl, too. Yeah, I don't think you would have been running. That would have been a bad situation. Hell no. Unless he had a knife. Then I'm like, get her. Well, he probably would have had a knife, too. Apparently, it was a total surprise.

He didn't expect the guy to be there. And he just saw red and freaked the fuck out. Well, he's fucking nuts. He's also fucking crazy. Yeah, he's nuts. He's always been nuts. But he's always been super cool and super friendly to me. Me, too.

I mean, I knew he had gotten into crazy fights with a bunch of porn stars. He beat the fuck out of someone. A bunch of people, like three or four people at some porn party. Jesus. Some dude. But dude's mouth off. They say the wrong shit. They fuck up. Yeah, there's no repercussions.

Yeah. You come across a guy like that, he's going to fuck your world up. Anyways, can't be my friend, though. No, no. Can't be my friend. Well, he can't be anybody's friend. Christian McCullough, good boy. But he can't be my friend.

You know what I'm saying? He can't be anybody's friend. What he did to you was boy. But he can't be my friend. You know what I'm saying? He can't be anybody's friend. What he did here was terrible. Let's talk about it. But at Brennan's job. He can't be anybody's friend. He's in jail forever. He's going to make friends in there, though.

The point being, there's certain guys that will just always fuck up, it seems. But they also, it's self-sabotage, right? They get this shitty hand of cards in life, and they they play this victim games like i don't deserve any success so they look there's always you know you and i were talking about this i called joe because i wanted to lend somebody money and i just want to sometimes like i i think i have a lot of guilt because like if you think about how some people grow up they just never even had a chance it was just the math fell in my favor. It didn't fall in there.

I had parents that loved me. I had stability. Some people had the exact opposite. And then we were talking and I was like, this guy I wanted to help and it's just a disaster. And I'm like, I want to give him money. I want to help him. But you get a sense that this guy I was talking about, he's always going to be that way. He's always going to be broke.

He's always going to be broke. He's always going to be fucked. I've loaned people money. I know. He's always going to be broke. He's always going to be fucked. I've loaned people money. I know. You know how many people have paid me back? None. Zero. Me too.

Zero. The thing is, did you tell me this? Did you tell me this? Again, I've been lending people money. If you lend someone money, don't expect it. Just give it to them. Give it to them. Yes.

My father said that. I've given it to people that are good friends. I think both of you gave me that advice. I've had good friends that have been in a financial crunch and I gave them money. If it's a legit friend or it's a family member, I know it's going to help them out, fucking take it. I work too hard. I work hard for a reason, so just take it.

It takes time to figure that out, though. I didn't have any money most of my life. And then all of a sudden when I started having money and someone needed money, I looked at them as how I used to be. I'm like, well, if I help this guy out, he'll get back on his feet and then he'll take care of it. Right. But none of them did.

Not only that, they started avoiding you, which is really weird. I know. It's a bummer. Like you call up, hey, Mike, you were supposed to pay me after three months. It's now six months. You have resentment. It's the old saying, the fastest way to lose a friend is lending money. Oh, dude, man.

I've got a guy who's owed me money for so long that I just don't even bring it up anymore. And he'll call me up and he'll give me- Like it's all good? Every time we talk, he'll give me this song and dance about he's about to pay me back. And dude, he's owed me money for like 10 years. Well, he's not really. We're acquaintances now. We're acquaintances now.

Yeah. But that sealed it. It's also, it's a mindset. You know, a lot of times my experience with that is that, yes, some people, there are plenty of stories of people who needed money badly and they made good and they paid it back. Yes. But for the most part, the people I'm talking about, you just know. You're like, man, you're always from one crisis to another. What the fuck are you doing?

And it doesn't matter the money. My last fight, I signed this deal with this company not gonna call him out close friend who did the deal and never saw the money and he's a real i've known this guy forever super close friend man and i'm financially i'm fine i'm doing better than i've ever done thank god and i we always had this rift he wasn't texting me or calling me back and i just called him one day from a random number and i said hey man it's me fuck the money man your friendship means more than i don't care if i ever get that money but let's just move on man we're good now we're good but he's always gonna have that problem knowing that he ripped you off that's fine i'm cool with that you are

but he's probably he's probably he's not yeah it makes him feel bad but at least i know we're we're good and we have open relationship now. Well, that's nice. That's very nice of you. I mean, I told this dude, I mean, like six months in I was annoyed that I didn't get paid back. But then I stopped. Yeah. I mean, this is one guy.

I mean, I could go back over the times that I've been here. And the problem is everybody's got this scam. Everybody's got this scheme. They want to come to you and if you just give me this money, I'm going to start this business, and that business is going to make so much money. And then as soon as my buddy gets in, he's going to bring his cousin who has a connection, and we're going to start this thing. No.

But there's none of that, because how many people lent you money to get to where you're at? Did you ask anyone? I never asked anyone. Me neither. No one does. You know, Dove and I, I'll tell you who it was after we're off the air but um shit fuck i know but dove and i bought a comedian a car um we we love this young guy this young comedian and both of us jay leno no we loved him we loved him we thought he was amazing and we liked him so much and i was bothered that how how he had no money

right and he was so smart and such a good guy and i was just like this is bugging me and he's taking the bus down to san diego and he's taking a bus around la and he's got no you can't live in la you can't be a comic and be living on the bus it's going to kill you at the end of the day so i said i go you know when i got some money and i said dove i go let's buy this guy a car i got a friend who deals in good cars they're not expensive let's get him a reliable fucking Honda or something. How much did you have to spend? Four grand.

You spent four? We both spent two or something. It was not a big deal. Meanwhile, long story short, just bought it for him. Called me. Thank you. Thank you. All this stuff.

Always brings it up. He sold it. When I see him. No, he made it. He made it in the business. What? He crushed it. Yeah.

Really? I'll tell you who did that for me. And he never paid you back? He never. I said to him, this is not a loan. Yeah. Really? I'll tell you who it is after this. And he never paid you back? He never, I said to him, this is not a loan. This is what we want to give you and I will never take money back.

This is, I am, because he didn't want to take it. He's like, what are you doing? I go, this is my gift to you because you're worth it.

And Dove said the same thing. What does his name rhyme with? I won't tell you. That's not a bad story. Why wouldn't you tell that story? Well, I'd rather him tell you. Oh,

okay. Yeah. You don't want him to know. I'm going to write it down though. That he was a wouldn't you tell that story? Well, I'd rather him tell you. Oh, okay. Yeah. You don't want him to know. I'm going to write it down, though. That he was a broke-ass bitch at one point? Well, he... We all are. Let me see what you got over there.

Never heard of him. Never fucking heard of him. Pretty cool, right? So you gave Chris Rock a car. Yeah. I support that choice, the choice that you just made. Of course. See what I mean?

I knew right away. I knew right away. I was like, this dude is so smart. And I also understand that you just made. Of course. See what I mean? I knew right away. I knew right away. I was like, this dude is so smart. And I also understand why you didn't say the name. Yeah. No need. Poor dude. Dude, I have wonderful community.

I don't mind helping anyone out. A lot of fighters, too, man. Listen, I get the struggle of the game. So anytime they help with t-shirts, whether they're trying to do podcasting, whatever. I got one guy, Jack Mays. I hate to say his name, but my boy he's trying to get a fight on Titan he's been doing it forever, and my old manager

and super close friend, Lex McMahon, owns Titan he fights for a living, man this guy's a beast, he has kids so I'm constantly hitting up Titan almost as his fucking manager get this guy a fight, man because they keep dragging him on someone falls out, and he's texting me like, dude, I don't know what to do it's tough fight man right because they keep dragging him on then someone falls out and he's

texting me like dude i don't know what to do so it it's tough man because you want to help him but i'm helping help him in different ways than giving him money that's the way he's worth the effort some people are worth the effort like even some people like if somebody asked me for money and i feel like they really need it and they're you know it's almost worth the money to see them not be in pain. I'll buy that from my own peace of mind. It's not a hard, fast rule. No, exactly. Like most things.

Under most situations, when people need money or they come to you to borrow money, they're not going to fucking make it. It's not going to happen. No, if they're reaching out to you for money, they're fucked. But most of those guys, they're looking for to fucking make it. It's just, it's not going to happen. No, if they're reaching out to you for money, they're fucked. But most of those guys, they're looking for a shortcut. Yes. Most of this, a part of the personality of someone who keeps coming to people asking for money. It's like, it's so common that it's the same kind of guy. It's like this guy that has this elaborate story that he tells you that involves some new thing that's going to happen.

And when that new thing happens, everything's going to take off. I love these stories, though. I wish I new thing happens, I wish I could record them. I wish I could record the stories. I met with a guy the other day who's a buddy who I'm also in business with. We're meeting on the idea of this merchandise thing. And he pitches this whole marijuana idea to me. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? Like a business?

Whole business. Yeah, I've had that too. I'm like dude get out of here man yeah so just focus on this cornered me at the fucking store one night about some marijuana business he's doing and wants me to get involved and they'll give me equity and i go dude i'm not doing anything i have people call me all the time about you pitching me ideas for you they're just like i got this great idea i gotta speak to joe rogan in in person. I know, my friend, but this is just not going to happen. But I could see it all going bad.

I could see it immediately. First of all, the guy's super aggressive coming up to you, wants to go into business with you. He doesn't even know you. Wants to go into business with you. That's your first sign of craziness. And then, once it all goes about, dude, I fucking made this business, man. If it wasn't for fucking me,

we wouldn't have this business. And you're like, I didn't even want to be a part of this. Why am I here? I got to get out of here. And the next thing you know, you get this crazy dude who hates you. Nothing worse. Yeah, I mean, the people that need your help or need your money in that bad of a way, where they go out of their way, they get in your face about it, they're looking for a way to shortcut the system.

Like the system of making it as a comedian. How many guys have come up to you and go, hey man, it'd be fucking really cool if you could take me on the road? You're like, what? Dude, you don't get spots anywhere. I can't take you on the road. You're not putting in the proper hustle. Did you ever do that, Joe Rogan?

Never. Did you ever do that, Brian? Never. Yes, there's a reason why his ass is asking. Because I knew. There's no shortcuts. Listen. Yes, there's a reason why his ass is asking, you know? Because I knew. There's no shortcuts. Listen, man, there's ways to do it. I'm friends with all the door guys at the comedy store, and these motherfuckers, they

put on their Instagram pages, they're constantly hitting open mic nights. Yes. Constantly. It'll be relentless. You got to be writing and always performing. Speaking of performing, we're going to be in Denver March 18th and 19th. What are you guys doing? It's my birthday, too. What's happening? Oh, I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan.

We're going to be doing a live show. Brennan Shaw, Brian Callen, Fighter and the Kid. March 18th. Two shows at Comedy Works. March 19th. Two shows Comedy Works. It's my first time in Denver performing. I love it there. It's one of my favorite places ever. It's amazing. Your birthday, dude.

It's my birthday. Buy your tickets now. Where do they go for tickets? TFATK.com. TFATK.com. Sell this bitch out, Denver. Denver's one of my favorite places on the planet Earth. I love it. That's one of my favorite places.

Dude, that's where my wife is from, and I almost- I would move back there. So would I. You want to move there together? We'll fucking move there, dude. Fuck that, man. I'll do it in a heartbeat. You could live just 20 minutes from the city and be in the mountains and have a fucking

insane house with a view. Here's the problem. Just drive down to Denver Comedy Works. Absolutely not, Mr. Rogan. Here's the only problem. If you two leave, I'm going to be pissed. No, dude. My wife grew up in snow.

I'm going to be fucking sad. My wife grew up in snow. She'll never move back. Exactly. I did too. Fuck that snow. People don't like the snow. I like it.

I like visiting Denver. Better track animals. Hey, when are we going? Soon. We'll talk after this. Please. Yeah. The thing got moved to August, though. It's important. Yeah, when are we going? Soon. We'll talk after this. Please. Yeah. The thing got moved to August, though.

It's important. Yeah, for me. Frank Castillo. He's one of the guys who works at the store. And this fucking kid is funny as shit, and he's hustling. He puts up his Instagram posts. Great. If you look at Frank Castillo.

I think it's just Frank Castillo on Instagram. But his Instagram posts, he just constantly posts all the different open mics he goes to. You have to be like, there's too much Castillo on Instagram. But if his Instagram posts, he just constantly posts all the different open mics he goes to. You have to be like, there's too much competition. Hammering, hammering. He's doing open mic nights. They'll do open mic nights that are outside on someone's roof. They do them everywhere. It doesn't matter where you do it.

That's how you have to do it, man. It doesn't matter. It's an audience. It doesn't matter. I have this friend who's breaking into comedy, but this person has a large online social media following already and then like break it into stand-up and we had a conversation about it and they don't want to do the open I guess I think

they're too good for it's a girl by not saying he or she they're thinking they're too good for it well just they don't want they don't want to do that hard that hard work that they should know it's all the same they should also know it's all the same well not only that how about the fact that you or I will do that grind. Brian and I will go to open mic nights. I do it all the time. Well to this day, we'll show up at an open mic night. We even fucking plan it out.

I'll do spots, I do the fucking, when Red Band has that Icehouse spot at 10 o'clock at night and there's like 30 people in there, I'll fucking show up. It's great. I'll text them up, what's up, Can I get in there? Kill those 30 people. Because you write sometimes. You come up with ideas. It's also your passion. Hey, we need to start doing, I'm going to start doing a lot more of that local stuff. I like the Ha Ha. How about the Ha Ha Cafe? The new Ha Ha?

It's fucking amazing. It's great. Sometimes when I'm doing the Ice House, like the main room, Jan will have a show. The Booker will have a little show in the little room over there. I love that. And again And again at 30 40 fucking people that room only holds 80 Yeah You know so if you got like and sometimes like red bag gets like 80 Stuffed in there sometimes and it is a killer fucking crowd just are on top of you man

There's like 80 people smushed on that room with you guys. That's a little room right? I love it. How's how weird is it when we start doing our live shows, I didn't know, Brian was like, dude, I think we're in Portland, Seattle. 800 people. 900 people. And I was, you know, I'm nervous, but I'm like, yeah, whatever. Brian's like, dude, you don't realize, like, this is crazy, man. Getting theater gigs like that?

He's like, he's just jumping in. It's big. I know. But, listen, there's no one way to do it. And what you're doing is different because you're doing that show. You guys are essentially doing a dramatic piece. Yeah. Yes.

With a lot of ad-libbing and fucking around. Yes. But you have a show. Tom Segura and his wife, Christina Pazitsky, they have your mom's house. They take that on the road. And it's kind of the same sort of a thing. They have an online podcast, but then they have a real live show. Like an extended branch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it becomes, you know, there's like fun shit they do. It's the greatest time of my life, man. Would you want to do stand-up on your own? 100%, yeah. Now that you're doing it, right? Yeah, we kick the show off. I do like the first 10, 15 minutes.

That's a great job. I absolutely love it, man. So do you think you'll start expanding and putting together an act and maybe even touring? Yeah, I think so. Dude, you could totally do it. I'd like to do that. You could totally do it. Let's do a show with the three of us. How about that?

Come on, son. You know how much fun that would be? Us on the road? Doing stand-up. Hey, Brennan, get ready to play with 3,500 people because if Rogan starts doing it, that's what it means. How about that Chicago show? We did 5,000. I did 5,000. Oh, my God.

I'm more happy now. I get more satisfaction when there's those live crowds. That's why I put them on Instagram because I'm so happy. It's hard to explain because in the UFC, if you have a fight, right? And I've never been in the main event. I've been co-main events. I've been in big fights. But the crowd's not there just to see you.

They're there to see all fighters, right? Right. But at a fire and a kid, whether it's 800, 900 people, these sold-out shows, they're really there to see Brian and Brendan. So the love I get from that, I've been seeking it, looking for it my entire life. My entire life for this approval. You know what I'm saying? For this fucking approval, my entire life.

Sold out tomorrow. It's hard for me not to cry, man. When I get done with them, it's hard for me not to cry man when i get done with him it's hard for me not to cry yeah is that a you're gonna go pee too that's uh irvine right you guys are doing irvine yeah everybody tomorrow night i think there's like nine tickets left that's a fat room i can't wait man i get it's like the it's like super bowl sunday for me man it's fun right insane now you get it i get it thank god i don't have thank god brain trauma hasn't kicked in where i can still fucking dude alpha brain the fuck out of yourself on a daily eventually they're gonna have stem cells gonna shoot it in there you're gonna be a super brainiac

hopefully man you don't want to get too smart though because if you get too smart you'll consider the repercussions of saying what you're about to say i know right now i'm just like that dumb fucking dog just going, saying stuff. I keep a certain amount of stupid on hand just for fun. I really do. You have to, huh? There's a certain amount of like, if I wanted to really go fucking sat nam, namaste,

and fucking meditate all day, the problem is I could kind of go there too. Those guys aren't funny though, are they? No. Well, it's not the kind of funny I do. No, not at all. Some people get bruised up. For sure. not at all. Some people get bruised up. For sure.

My kind of comedy, people get bruised up. But the thing is, if people, if they don't have an opinion on what you're doing one way or the other, you're not doing shit, son. Well, I know. You want more people to like you than hate you, but you need both. Yeah. That's what I, like, if we release a podcast and I get all these hateful things and good things, I'm like, perfect, man. We're doing good.

I know what I like. I know the kind of comedy that I like.. I know the kind of comedy that I like, and that's the kind of comedy that I like to do. Like, I don't like calm comedy. I like chaos. I like watching people have fun. Yep. You know, and that's,

there's only a couple ways to do that, and it's always, the subject matter's always gonna be controversial. Like, I always say Joey Diaz is my favorite all-time comic, because he's 100% controversial. His take on everything is always to be controversial. Like I always say, Joey Diaz is my favorite all-time comic because he's 100% controversial. His take on everything is always going to be controversial. It's always going to be chaos.

That's why you go to a show because you don't want to hear what the average, you want to see outrageous shit, man. Well, he's a rock and roll comic. Yes. You're watching some fucking rock and roll. You're watching some chaos. That's what I want, though.

That's the best. Yes. That's why when someone has an opinion, like that's why I don't watch these shows, whether it's NFL or UFC, where I know who's paying their bills. So they don't give a real opinion. Yeah.

Like, nah, bitch, tell it like it is. That's why they wouldn't let you on UFC tonight. That's why. A hundred percent. That's why they got rid of it.

And what, why they got rid of it. Also, my, I'm so sick. I'm doing so well in my own shit with Fighting the Kid and these live tours. When they wanted me to drive to Burbank to film the show and do all this stuff, I'm like, you've got to pay me this much, man.

This is what I'm worth now. And they're like, well, we can get this dude for this. I'm like, do that. Good luck. Get him. Do that, son. Do that. Well, you understand your value.

You know, I think that is one thing where if I could give the UFC advice, the one thing that I would say is turn guys loose. Turn guys loose. Let them be themselves. That's what makes the UFC special because you look at baseball, it's on a downward trend because they have all these rules and guys can't be themselves. We have so many personalities.

To become a fucking cage fighter in your underwear, you've got to be pretty fucking crazy. So you get these cool, colorful personalities. We want that, man gotta be pretty fucking crazy. So you get these cool, colorful personalities. We want that, man. Let that fucking go. Do you remember when Matt Brown got in trouble for talking about, like, Ronda and Misha? I'm not watching unless the women are naked.

Just some redneck shit. Matt Brown is a fucking savage. He did a video the other day on Instagram of him with his kid on his lap and his kid's like being cute

and you know his little tiny baby and he's like it's hard being hard. Because he's like trying to make a fucking hard ass face. He's just a straight

savage. He's just a savage and he's holding onto a baby in between deadlifts and punching people in the dick. He's got a fucking baby in his hand.

Does he have a fight coming up? I feel like he does. He was supposed to be scheduled, but why do I think he pulled out or something, or the fight got cancelled? Wasn't he supposed to be fighting Damien Maia? Because he's the last guy to beat Wonderboy.

It was like four or five years ago, though. What is Matt Brown's... See guy to beat Wonderboy. Yeah. It was like four or five years ago, though. What is Matt Brown's... See if we can find that. I feel like there was a great fight that was coming up that was super excited for, and it got canceled. Do you have any intent to scoop on whether McGregor's going to fight Aldo next? Or is it going to be Frankie Edgar?

I think he fights Frankie. Frankie Edgar's a way easier sell. The Aldo fight, if Aldo comes back and wins, and wins in spectacular fashion, like, say, if Aldo comes back and wins, and wins in spectacular fashion. Like, say, if Aldo and Cub Swanson have a rematch, because Cub Swanson and Aldo went the same way that Frankie and McGregor went. Aldo jumps at him, hits him on the flying knee two seconds into the fight, and cracks him.

You can't sell Aldo McGregor, too. You can sell Frankie, just like you said. Why can't you? Why not? Because Aldo has to win. He's got to win again. If he wins again. See the difference is you could sell it

but you wouldn't sell it for as much as if Aldo won. Okay Damien Ma. Yeah I was right. UFC 198. Damien Ma is on a win streak. That's in Brazil? Hey! Yeah that's Fabricio Verdum Stipe Miocic. We'll be doing a fight companion because Joseph will be here.

Fuck yeah, son. That is the weekend of my daughter's birthday, so I can't go. Go back to what you're saying about McGregor-Aldo. Oh, so Aldo would have to, he would have to, I mean. Redeem himself. It would have to be something you could sell. Like, when Manny Pacquiao got knocked dead, the Floyd Mayweather fight was off.

But then he beats Chris Algieri, looks like a fucking demon again, starts looking fantastic, and you go, okay. We can see it. We can see it again. And then they sold the fight. But if they tried to go right from the Juan Manuel Marquez knockout, right into the Floyd Mayweather fight, they would lose a shitload of money.

The fighter has to win. Wow. Joe, that's why I like for Misha. I want Misha Holly too. Do you? Yes. I want Misha Ronda. Really?

You want to see it for a third time? Yep. I don't. Yep. I don't. I think Misha's better now. It'd be interesting to see. Why do that?

But she's the champ. Misha's the fucking champ now. I think that's the fight. Because she's lost to Ronda twice already and didn't really come close to beating her. She could lose to Amanda Nunes. Amanda Nunes is a fucking joke. I know. That's why you can't toss Amanda Nunes in there right now.

Because there's only three bitches who can fight right now that we're going to pay to see, really. So you have Misha, Holly, Ronda, right? Ronda's out probably until November, is what they're saying. So basically eight months. Just because of movies? Who knows? I bet she hurries her ass back up now that Misha's champ, right? I don't know, man. Who knows, man? So let's say it's eight months, though.

If Misha chooses to fight differently and not engage her and fight the way she fought Holly, if she fights Holly and fights smart and measured... Bro, she was getting her ass whooped against Holly until she pulled that out. She was definitely losing. She was not getting whooped, though. I wouldn't say she was getting whooped.

Her face was well taken care of at the end of that fight. She was not beat up. She can't go based on face, especially with 135-pound girls. Listen, she never got rocked. Her knees never buckled. She never looked like she was going down or going out. She was down three to one until she won that fight. She was definitely down in points, but nothing Holly was doing was scary.

Right. Holly was fighting real smart, and she was moving. Completely in control of the fight. Completely in control of the stand-up exchanges. It wasn't like, is Misha going to win this? I was talking to Brian during the fight. I went, man, it sucks for Misha, man. She's always second best because she's champ.

She's a great champ because she looks good. She talks good. She represents good for women in the UFC. I would say all those things, great. Yes. Me too. She's a great champ because she looks good, she talks good, she represents good for women in the UFC. I would say all those things, great. Yes, me too. She's a great representative. Best champ we've had, I think. She's a really nice person.

Amazing. She's great. So is Holly, by the way. Smoke show. Yeah, she's a smoke show. That's what you want. Especially that ass. That ass is from the heavens.

No disrespect, Brian Carraway. I was talking about this on the podcast. I think that nobody talks about that. That's a real love story. That's an American love story. Brian Carraway is so in her corner, and I think it's very romantic. I think that's a very fucking...

Are you going to cry? I do. I'm going to cry. I think you need to relax a little bit on that. It's romantic, man. I know, but you won't shut the fuck up about it. But nobody talks about it. That's because we don't give a fuck. I do.

I almost cried again when I was interviewing Misha. When Misha won? Yeah. Because she finally did it? When she said, when I said, how's that sound? She goes, I've been waiting to hear you say those words for so long. That was amazing. Dude, how about she was going to retire?

Yeah. How about she was like, they're not giving my shot. I'm about to be the fuck out. Well, she was thinking about it. You know, she's thinking, what is she doing with her life? This is all I'm saying, Joe. And then she has this epic win. If, let's say, for whatever reason, can't fight until November.

So that's, what, eight months? Right? Yeah. Why not do Holly Misha too? Well, you certainly could. I mean, that would probably be- That's the only other fight you can do. But the problem with that fight is, well, there's not really a problem with that fight.

What's the worst that happens? Holly wins, then you have Holly Ronda that we want to see, really? That's true. That's the biggest blockbuster fight in history. Because you've lost that. Definitely. But I would like to see, the problem is the time frame, but I would like to see Ronda versus Misha. But what if Misha wants to sit it out?

What if Misha wants to wait for Ronda and she just trains like a fucking demon for eight months? Which is what Holly should have done, and they should have just been on this PR fucking tour to build her celebrity up so high so by the time her and Ronda fight, it's the biggest fight in UFC history. I'm going to get Dana on the phone and have him hire you. You know what's up. Dana agreed with that. Of course, that's what he wanted.

That's what Dana was saying. And I even blasted out, people think I don't like Dana. I like Dana, man. We just disagree on certain things. Who gives a fuck? But I said, because Dana goes, yeah, she should have waited, but we had a meeting with her manager. She was even in on the meeting, and they wanted to hurry up and fight, which I think was a mistake. He's 100% correct.

Well, 100% correct financially, but you've got to respect her as a warrior. What she wanted to do, she wanted to get in there, she wanted to throw down. People argue that all the time. Oh, Shob, you've been a better fighter if you were a warrior. You're an armchair quarterback when you're talking about Monday morning. The day of the fight, she could have won.

And if she did win, she would look like even more of a king. But pros and cons, Joe. I'm talking about when people say, ah, but such a warrior. Listen, being a warrior doesn't pay the fucking bills 20 years from now. That's true. But you've got to understand, she made a fuckload of money for that fight. She would have made so much more fucking money for Ronda. I would say she's going to have a shot at Ronda. It's true, but you gotta understand, she made a fuckload of money for that fight. She would have made so much more fucking money for Ronda. I would say she's gonna have

a shot at Ronda. It's gonna happen. Holly? I think Holly. Who knows how many fights Ronda's gonna fight? But this is the risk in MMA. Look, if Conor loses to Frankie Edgar, which is a possibility. It's a scary fight for Conor. Very, very strong

fight. And so in a way, if he loses to nate now he loses to frankie that luster that shine it's gone and it's it's a and that's one of the things he still has that shine though right now he still has that shine because he lost a fucking savage at one season frankie's that's a big edgar is a 48-hour storm. You better have everything strapped down. He knocked Chad Mendes the fuck out. He's a 48-hour storm. He's not going to get tired.

Never. He's not getting tired, and he's going to keep coming at you. Oh, and he can wrestle his ass off. He can wrestle his ass off, and he's going to come at you with crazy angles. His footwork is sensational. This is the problem, though. If Conor connects, which Frankie does get hit. Yeah.

You think he'll knock Conor out? I mean, Frankie could get knocked out by Conor. Oh, very possible does get hit. Yeah. You think he'll knock Connor out? I mean, Frankie could get knocked out by Connor. Oh, very possible. Very, very possible. I think Connor can knock out anybody. It's a good fight for Connor. At 145, Connor will not starch anybody. Anybody.

Anybody. He's a good explainer. So heavy-handed. But, by the way, so will Cub Swanson. Cub Swanson couldn't connect on Frankie. He got murked, didn't he? He got murked. He got crowned.

Right. Frankie just Wolverined him. Just... For whatever very possible... Very possible that'll happen....ed. Franky just Wolverined him. For whatever reason. Very possible. Very possible that'll happen. Tasmanian deviled him. First of all, you know, Conor's got to suck a lot of weights. Very hard suck for him.

And it's a five-round fight. And man, if anybody can grind you into the ground, it's that guy. And you look at the Chad Mendes fight. Obviously, Conor had a knee injury going into that fight. But Chad took him down at will. You know? Yeah. When Frankie gets you tired, man, he's going to-

You're in trouble because that motherfucker moves. What he did to Connor- Cubs Swanson? Cubs Swanson, rather, was incredible. Unbelievable. I mean, he just wore him down. I've never seen an asshole been like, really? It's getting-

Cub, as far as I've seen everyone in the gym, Cub is the most talented guy I've ever seen in the gym. Oh, watch his Tennessee- It's fucking insane how talented that kid is. Watch his Tennessee fight. So when I saw Frankie just dismantle him, I was like,

holy fuck. Frankie, Edgar, like you said, his footwork, his boxing's great, hard to hit. You know why they're not probably giving him,

and I don't know the numbers, but I would assume, I don't think he's a draw. Frankie's not, but it's a big fight. But if you give him Connor, you're good. Because he's a fucking draw.

So what I'm asking is that if you're Connor's manager, and if you're Conor, doesn't it make sense to somehow duck Frankie in the interim, fight Aldo for the big money? That ain't an easy fight. But Aldo, you see, you can't sell Aldo unless Aldo wins. I'm telling you, man. How are you going to sell Aldo when he starched him in 16 seconds? Because you could champion for 10 years, and also that starching would happen so quickly,

people go, I'm interested because I want to know if that was a fluke. That's why I'm interested. A you could sell it. Because you were the champion for 10 years and also that starching happened so quickly, people go, I'm interested because I want to know if that was a fluke. That's why I'm interested. A little bit, Brian. Yeah, but Brian, you could sell it. You could sell it. But you're not going to sell it for nearly as much as you would sell it if Aldo wins something. I agree. You need Aldo to fight. Yeah, if Aldo fights Max Holloway, how about that? What if he fights Max

Holloway and he looks like the Aldo fight? That's a fucking fight. And he looks like the Aldo of old. Or he gets his ass whooped. But one of those guys emerges. And then you've got the possibility of Max Holloway having a rematch with Conor. He was the only guy that took Conor to a decision. We need some young blood.

And Max Holloway's that fucking guy. He's a beast. Oh, he's fucking nasty. We need some young blood. And he's only like 24. Is he only 24? I thought if Holloway was fighting At 55

No he's 45 He's a fucking freak He's got a fight coming up though Doesn't Max Holloway have a fight? Yeah we just announced that Aldo UFC 200 Make it happen Why do I feel like he's got a good fight scheduled that I'm interested in Is he fighting Lamas?

Is he fighting Ricardo Lamas? Because Lamas just fought Diego, and Diego's only appearance at 45. He was way too sucked up. But Max is on a total winning streak, isn't he? What is he? How about Diego Sanchez beating Jim Miller? He's goddamn season one. Season one winner.

He's the ultimate fighter. Him and Rashad are the only guys left, right? Yeah, but Diego is, like, he's all him and rashad are the only guys left right yeah but diego is like he's still in the hot mix that fucking kid's an animal all he knows one thing animal fighting dude diego sanchez watch his fight with jake ellenberger he's how about martin campman that's the best one because for two, his fucking face is hanging off of his head. He's nuts, man. And he wins the third round.

He wins the fucking third round. Doesn't get tired. Against a guy in Kampmann who fought at 85. You know, he's a small 85, as Diego won the season one in 185, too. But very good striking. And Diego won the goddamn third round. He puts his arms down and he goes, come on. And then he starts fighting.

And you're like, oh, again. He's fucking nuts, man. He's mad now. Now you got him angry. Won the third round against Gilbert Melendez. That's right. That then he starts fighting. And you're like, oh, he's mad now. Now you got him angry. Won the third round against Gilbert Melendez. That's right. That was a fucking crap.

Dude, I was doing analyst work for ESPN. And all they want to talk about, I think it was JDS and whoever, Verdum was on that. I forget which one it was. And I went, fuck that. Just hear me out. Fuck that fight. As a guy who knows fighting, you have to talk about Diego and Gilbert Melendez. Oh, yeah. Please.

And finally, they kind of showed it. But I'm like, I'm telling you guys are fucking dropping the ball. This is the fight. This is one where I'd show my kid, I'm like, you want to see what fighting is about? Insert Gilbert Diego here. I'm like, ESPN, get your shit together. Insert. Fuck.

I think it was JDS Mark Connors on that. I forget. Get the fuck out of my face. That's like, some guys, they want to fight like that, but they can't find a willing opponent. But if you can get Diego and Gilbert together. Gilbert, if he fought smart, could probably out-move Diego. Oh, for sure. Out-strike.

He decides to bite down on his mouth. They should put those guys on every card. He's not retreating. Just every card. Every two months, those two fight. Yeah. Gilbert Melendez. Just, for sure. He decides to bite down on his mouth. They should put those guys on every card. Just every card. Every two months, those two fight. Just every two months. He's not going to step back. He's going to stand in a phone booth with you and just bang. Such a good guy, too, man. What did Gilbert... He got popped. For what? Steroids. Yeah.

Damn it. I know. Ain't that a bitch? You get older. You need a little help. God damn it. You know, I'm torn on this. I swear to God, I'm torn. You're going to see shorter careers. You're going to see more injuries. Dad bod Vitor bums me the fuck out. Me too, man.

I'm telling you, Dad bod Vitor fucked my week up, man. When you see that. Let me see it. Bring it up. I got to see it. TRT Vitor is maybe my all-time favorite fighter to watch. No, I like TRT. Just his explosiveness. I like TRT Overeem. TRT Overeem. Okay, you're right.

Because he's murdering bitches. Yeah, TRT Overeem. Kicking heads off and shit. Versus Brock Lesnar, that's hard to top. That made me want to retire early. Plus the size factor. He's just so big and ridiculous. With world-class striking. Yeah, but fucking Vitor wheel-kicked Rockhold. Never threw a wheel-kick in a fight. Hold up, bro.

Wheel-kicked Michael Bisping's eye off. That was a round kick. Bisping can't see! Yeah. He kicked his eye off. Yeah. Off. See?

His girl is so fucking hot, too. Well, it's hard to tell, man. That could be the shirt sticking out like that. When he fought Chris Wadman, everyone's saying he's fat and that, but that might just be the shirt. You can't really tell. You know there's certain pictures you take. I like the fact that he put that online.

He doesn't give a fuck. Look at my gut. Who gives a shit? I just knocked out Dan Henderson in one round, bitch. First of all, knocked out Dan Henderson. Look at my girl. I'm rubbing her shoulders. Eat dick, son.

Yeah, eat it. Yeah, I got a gut, but I'm fucking rich and Brazilian. You know what I'm saying? He's a superstar. He's a superstar in Brazil. What? Yeah. He's like Tom Cruise over there

He got hit hardest by the Reebok deal Ah Dude, I saw a special I saw I watched a Documentary on Ronaldo The soccer player? Yeah

That's who you want to be in your next life That guy is Not really When somebody beats his ass He's small Oh, I don't give a shit He's the king of the world He's a prince

I would make out with him All right Vitor Belfort is up there That guy's killing it How about TRT Vitor? Ah, man He's small. Oh, I don't give a shit. He's the king of the world. He's a prince. I would make out with him. All right. Vitor Belfort is up there, man. That guy's killing it. How about TRT Vitor? Ah, man. TRT Vitor back in the Rockhold days when he fought Bisping. Wouldn't you have liked to have seen what would happen if that guy fought Weidman?

I would have liked to have seen that. I think Weidman would still beat him with his wrestling. Maybe. It's tough. He's always lost to wrestlers. I want to see a TRT Vitor versus Luke Rockhold. That's a motherfucking fight. We already saw that once.

Yeah, he did kick his face off. I'm talking about the champion Rockhold now. Those are back in the day. I'm talking now. Dude, TRT Vitor is barely human. Is he the scariest guy? That's some kind of alien. You know why? Because here's the thing about TRT Vitor.

You got this freak body with abundance of fast twitch muscle fibers, ridiculous work ethics. See, he's still in good shape. That was him throwing a punch there. He's still, I don't know why he's throwing one punch and dropping his hands like that. Why would you show that video? Excuse me, sir. This is Vitor Belfort.

Yeah. It's one punch knocking people out. But it's weird. It's weird. Like, why would you show, this is a weird thing to show. Because... I don't think he gives a fuck. Yeah. I mean, I guess he like that's the weirdest thing.

I guess they're working on some moves or something like that. He's just moving around. But at the end of the workout, you compare that to go to the Rockhold fight. Vitor versus Luke Rockhold. By the way, we might have brought up TRT Vitor when we get together about every time. Now we're obsessed with him. He was a psycho, man. He was so fucking terrifying. You don man He's so fucking terrified for a loop and this just shook my fucking world Kimbo and Ken Shamrock busted for TR That's outrageous!

Who saw that coming? I don't believe it. That doesn't make any sense. Oh my lord. Look at him there. He's a demon Look at Rockhold in there though. Rockhold's all natural there like surfing and shit. Just a basic ass haircut Rockhold looks like a schoolboy there. He's like, what? He had his fucking face kicked off in Brazil. Why don't you go and fly 14 hours and get your face kicked off? Look at that. Rockhold told me he saw him at the weigh-ins and he was like, what the fuck is this guy on? He said, you could tell just looking at him.

And then Vitor whispered in his ear, everything. But here's the thing. His skin is difficult. He's also, it's training. I mean, it is not just the fact that he was on TRT, which he most certainly was, but also the fact that he was training like a fucking monster. He's training like 20 hours a day. See, that's him all sucked up, though.

That's at the weigh-ins when he's pointing to his Jesus waistband there. Yeah, for sure. But when you see above that- It might be Jesus. Like, throw that wheel kick. Yeah, like, that's him when he wheel kicked Rockhold in the head. Like, look how big he is. I mean Jesus Christ So what the reason why I think he's the scariest is because he's got a massive amount of experience

You're talking about a guy who's been fighting since 97. He's been training since you know years before that right? So he's been around for. Almost 20 years in the game. That's insane. He's at 19 years in the game. Especially at his level. His ups and downs. At the highest, highest level. At the highest level.

And he's only like 38 now. I think he just turned 38, if I get it correctly. Wow. Which is crazy. Such a nice guy, too. Very nice guy. He's like the nicest guy ever. Very nice guy.

Vitor's a smart guy, too. Yep. And he speaks very fluent English as well as Brazilian, Portuguese rather. But if you look at his body, what you have is this freak body that also has all this knowledge. And usually by the time a guy acquires all that knowledge, his body starts to fall apart. I had a conversation with Eve Edwards about it. We were talking about Eve is a super knowledgeable guy. So many fights?

He's had so many fights. And it's almost like he knows so much now, but his body just doesn't cooperate like it did when he was young and wild. That's a bummer. Back in the Aaron Riley days. You ever see his fights with Aaron Riley, hook and shoot? Yep. But you see a lot of guys who have resurgence.

We were talking about this, like heavyweights and stuff, like Ben Rothwell or guys like that who, Vitor, I mean, Fabrizio, like you'll see them when they get to be like in their 30s. Yeah, Arlovsky, they get into their 30s and they're fighting differently. That's heavyweights though. Yeah. Heavyweights will generally have a longer career and have peaked later.

GSP's thinking about coming back. I think they genuinely don't know how to move their body as well when they're younger because there's so much mass. Right. I think if you look at, like, little tiny people, like, one of the things I've noticed about having kids is you watch, like, kids in gymnastics class. And the shit they can do with their body, it's not just, like, flexibility. There's no weight. There's no mass. So they're, like, moving their body around.

They're rolling around. They're doing flips. And they develop, like develop an understanding of movement. It's also being able to measure. Chris Van Aerden was explaining to me how as you get better and better at boxing, you have to move less because your eye can measure shots. So instead of really moving to the side, a guy like that will just literally step back an inch, get you to miss, and then boom, capitalize. Experience is priceless, man. Before I fought Roy Nelson, I remember Nate telling me,

I was like, dude, I'm more athletic about it. He goes, yeah, but man, he has so much experience. I'm telling you, it's priceless. I was like, yeah, what the fuck does Nate Marquardt know? A lot. Nate Marquardt's a perfect example, too. Who the fuck did he just knock out? C.B. Dalloway. I was saying in that fight, I'm like, C.B. can't open up and chase him like that's like you can't just open up because the

last thing to go on a guy like nate marquardt is his punch and nate marquardt can crack so hard and he's cracked a lot of guys he's got a lot of memories of cracking people yeah it's just in damian maya muscle memory horizontal he went flying through the air. You see that bullshit leg kick? He tried to throw a knee at him. He tried to lead knee. He just caught him with a straight right. Old school Nate Marquardt? Fuck, he was a badass. He was a guy that was super talented

but might have had a little bit too much damage by the time he got to the UFC. He started fighting when he was 17. He's still doing it and winning Is fucking highlight reel knockout of Tyron Woodley and strike force is one of you talk about that Mortal Kombat Oh my god one of the best elbows. Oh, he's a monster So talented such a diverse like and a lot of traditional martial arts techniques mixed with like some really good boxing as well

Extensive martial arts background and he started fighting was very young. He was like the first like Especially as well. He has an extensive martial arts background. And he started fighting when he was very young. He was like the first, like, especially in Colorado, man. Nate was the shit. I looked Nate up because he's the baddest. I went straight to his gym. You said you'd never seen him lose a round in practice. Not for a very, very, very long time. Yeah.

He was like our team captain. Well, GSP was his number one training partner, wasn't he? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's the one that created that whole connection. You're going to get better if your training partner is one of the greatest ever. Well, there's that, but the word was always that Nate was better. That's what I've heard.

I mean, Nate was a bigger guy, and he was fighting at 185. I asked Nate one time, I said, how do you do against GSP? And he said, well, that's all I said. He's so modest. I go, what do you mean, well? Most fighters are going to do that. Yeah, he's not going to say anything else. Yeah, why would he say anything? He's so modest. I go, what do you mean, well? Most fighters are going to do that. Yeah, he's not going to say anything else. Yeah, why would he say anything?

There's nothing worse. What does his dick taste like? Color underwear. There's nothing worse than when you ask a guy something he fucking, oh, dude, I fucked whoever, Vitor Belfort up in round one of practice. We're talking about practice. Well, there's a lot of guys that have that, right? Oh, it's the worst.

The practice thing. Nothing worse. Yeah. There's some good fights coming up, man. This Saturday, you got Frank Miramar-Cunt. Yeah, that's interesting. What's your call? Neil Magny, Hector Lombard.

That fight scares me. You know Neil's my buddy. And Hector, I'm a Hector Lombard fan. He gets a hold of you. You're going for a ride. He's also a guy that's been, he tested positive. And he's been around a long time. Another mind-blowing one.

I know. Who saw that coming? I was so surprised. I'm like, what? With that ass? That's artificially created? Looks like the letter S. Well, he, I feel like, is in the same boat as his other Cuban compatriot,

Yoel Romero, in that they got to the UFC a little late in their career. People forget, Hector Lombard was murking everybody over in Bellator. Everybody. He came over from Bellator. People forgot. They forgot. You bitches forgot? Yeah.

He's ripping dudes' faces off. And I think he's only 5'9". He's tiny. The fight, he might even be 5'9". He might be 5'8". But the fight to see is him fighting. I like how they do it in inches. That's 5'9", right?

Yeah. The fight, the fucking body on that guy. Jesus Christ. I've never seen an ass, no homo, I've never seen an ass on a male in my life. It's the best ass I've ever seen. He can explode on you, man. He can explode on you.

In many ways. The way he knocked out Nate, perfect example. That knockout of Nate Marquardt was fucking ferocious. The angles and the fearlessness in which he chased Nate down and the knockout power. When he's on, man, he's fucking terrifying. Good luck beating him when he's on. I want to see him fight Robbie Lawler. That's the fight I want to see.

How old is Hector now? Not young. But he's never taken a beating. Still rolls with that acne, though. How about when he went in and fucking destroyed Paul Harris? That's when you saw how fucking scary he is. Because Paul Harris couldn't do shit to him. Hector Lombard, before this drug test, and we don't know how he's going to be now,

but scariest guy at 170. Who the fuck knows? If you draw that card, you're like, ah, fuck, son. That ain't smart. It's not fun. That ain't one where you're like Ah fuck son That ain't smart It's not fun That ain't one where you're like Ah I can expose this Magni looks like he's in a different weight class

I mean that might be the picture But Yeah Or maybe it's not the picture No No Magni's long and tall though He's a totally different guy Dude

How about Remember we did the companion Powerful Alan Joban fighting on this card But How about when we did The What's her name Remy Nakai remember that Asian girl I was all in her ass

she got her ass whooped by Misha Tate you know what the Remy Nakai yeah look at that build son she um she's thick that's a thick one cutie pie it's tough she does like weird fetish stuff yeah man I was into

it when I'm not exactly sure what it is. I'm glad. It's one of the few times- I approve, by the way. It's one of the few times where I read the captions and I'm like, I'm glad I don't speak Japanese. She's very cute. She looks like Mark Hunt in Sakuraba had a baby. But she's got a cute face.

Fuck you, Cal. Don't try covering this up. Leslie Smith, she had to get her ear sewed back on oh That's right that bitches ear fell off Jessica I blasted her ear and it shot up like a volcano And she wanted to keep going her fucking ear was hanging off her head She had a hole that you could look deep into her skull what I'm not kidding man. I'd never seen anything like it Yes, you want to keep going they stopped it. She wanted to keep going she was upset

She's that card card is sleeping. Good luck picking knockout of the night or performance of the night. There's going to be so many knockouts on that card. Look at the matchups. Yeah. I think there's a better picture, Jamie, where you can see there. That's it. You just had it right there.

Click on that one. Yeah, you could see how deep the hole was. It was a giant hole. It's because the skin gets so thin from the cauliflower, and that bitch opened up. Well, it's not that it gets thin, actually. What it is is the actual cauliflower itself, it helps rip apart the skin gets so thin from the cauliflower and that bitch opened up well it's not that it gets thin actually what it is is the actual cauliflower itself it it helps rip apart the skin because it's like having a rock under your skin yes it looks like you see that one you see that one dude look at that one that's what it looks like oh my god no you see into her fucking ear see her brain so you do you think while she had it sewed back on She got the cauliflower trimmed off

I would Yeah I would too Trim that shit Yeah Yeah It's gonna grow back If you keep training

Isn't she uh Caesar Gracie I think I think she's one of them Uh Caesar Gracie NorCal girls Or maybe Dave Terrell

You gotta love fighting To do it for a living man You gotta love fighting She's tough as fuck That really good Guy picture man God damn it, girl. Do your thing.

She looks like an anime doll. I know, right? She is paid to do that shit, too. Hey, think about how fucking tough Josh Berkman is. We're talking about Hector Lombard. Josh Berkman, who just fought his last fight

and won at 55. He's a veteran, man. Fought Lombard. That's right. And he blocked it, sat there in the pocket. And he was sick. He went into that fight sick. Antibiotics, right? Yeah, he's all fucked up. And he blocked it, sat there in the pocket. And he was sick. He went into that fight sick.

Antibiotics, right? Yeah, he's all fucked up. And that's the fight that Hector tested positive for. Yeah, that's the fight Hector tested positive for. So it's a no contest. And Berkman just sat there and just kind of parried and stayed pretty much markless. Dude, I thought Berkman was going to get murked. He stayed dangerous.

That's why Lombard, especially when Lombard started to get a little tired, he didn't want to come in. He was throwing bombs that fight. Yeah, Berkman's winging bombs at you. Smart fighter. And you could hit him with a bat. Yeah. His defense is excellent. That motherfucker could take a shot.

Well, he can take it, too. He's just tough. Berkman's been around. And he's fought as heavy as, like, 205. Really? Yeah, he fought Jeremy Horn once. And I don't know what the fuck. They had some crazy dispute.

There was some argument where they hated each other. He's been fighting forever. Jeremy Horne is one of the nicest guys in the world, and Jeremy choked him out and spit on him. Oh, no. He was out cold. Well, he can't do that. I don't know what happened.

But Jeremy's the nicest guy ever. Well, he's also a fighter. He's emotional. I know, but I'm telling you, the idea that Jeremy could get so upset at someone, it's almost like alien to me. I don't understand it. Who does Nate Diaz fight next?

He should fight Robbie Lawler at UFC 200. No, I would say Dos Anjos is the fight because I think that Robbie Lawler is too big for him. Yeah. If he's going to really fight at 170, he should, I mean, he could fight at 170, make no mistake about it. But if you look at like the Rory McDonald fight and you look at the Stun Gun Kim fight, he could, also,

you could easily make an argument, and I think it's not even an argument, it's a fact, he's a lot better than he was when he fought Rory McDonald and he's a lot better than he was when he fought Dong Young Kim. I think his fight, his last fight in particular, not just the Conor McGregor fight, but the fight with Michael Johnson before that. That's the best he's ever looked he's on fire Nate is comfortable

he's confident and Nate is one of the slickest dudes when it comes to rolling with punches when Nate gets hit when Nate gets hit Nate gets hit and he goes with shit yeah going with shit like and he's got this like long slinky fucking jab that comes out of nowhere you have to give him a super fight. After being Conor McGregor and he has such fucking momentum. Whether he agrees with what the UFC does or whatever, you have to give that guy, I think, a title

shot. Well, the UFC I think they have to recognize that he's a superstar right now. Nate Diaz is a fucking superstar right now. But fight at 55 though. I think 55 is his weight. 55 or 70. But if you give him 70, just give him more than two weeks notice.

I think he has a better chance beating Robbie Lawler than he does Dos Anjos. Robbie's just too big and strong, man. I don't know. Well, Dos Anjos was his loss before he fought Michael Johnson. Dos Anjos leg kicked the shit out of him. Horribly. And mangled him on the ground once his leg was all Michael Johnson. Dos Anjos leg kicked the shit out of him.

Horribly. And mangled him on the ground once his leg was all fucked up. Dos Anjos is a goddamn juggernaut, man. Who does he fight? He fights Conor. That's what I think. No, come on. Come on, son. You can't do that.

No, you can't do that. That's Conor's worst matchup. That's what we were supposed to see. No. That's what we were supposed to see. Not anymore. I don't think it works out well for Conor. Come on, man. I don't want to see that fight now. What if he sleeps him?

Okay. Whack. What if he punches him like he did also? He's a better boxer? And we're like, God damn it! This is chaos! It's possible. It is possible. He has to go to 145, fight Frankie, and then let's talk about 55. Well, I think he kind of has to defend his title. You can't lose at 70,

then fight the champ at 55, and then go back to 45. Okay, but here's a big thing. Here's a question. I'm not saying. I'm asking a question. Oh, here we go. Is it possible? I'm going to get shit.

Look, is it possible that Conor McGregor, because he's an excellent boxer and he's got that left hand, is it possible that we're going to see people game plan to say, hey, just stay away from that left hand, and if you do, you can just grab him and grind him into the ground? You're not going to get shit for that. You're talking about just take him down like Chad Mendes did. That's nothing new. Did you not really have a question, and you just came up with a question?

No, my question. That's what it was, right? Jamie knows. Everyone knows his weak point is wrestling. I've asked you this. In other words, do you think that if he gets... I guess what I'm really asking is... Yeah, please spit it out.

What I'm really asking is... Please. Is he just really good with that left hand, and if you negate that, he becomes ordinary? No, he's good at everything. He's an excellent fighter. He's an amazing fighter. People thrown in the towel because he lost it at 178. You don't just knock out Aldo with one punch, destroy Marcus Brimage, destroy Diego Brendel.

He's destroyed Dennis Seaver. He looks like a murderer. He smashed Chad Mendes. Conor McGregor is a gangster. There's no doubt about it. He just got a little crazy. He thought he could fight anybody. He went up all the way up to 170.

He took a chance. Granted, he fought Nate Diaz. He's not a real 170 anyway, but he's a legit 155 who can't make 145. Yeah. Nate can't make 145. You see Nate cut down to 55. He is fucking shredded. So another 10 pounds after that, that's not going to happen.

But Conor can make that weight. So you've got to think that Nate is a bigger guy. And I'll tell you why Conor's still the biggest draw in the UFC because, and everyone should take notes, the way he's handled this loss, he doesn't go into hiding. He's not doing interviews. He's not talking shit. Just, what's up? I took a chance.

I fucking lost, man. I will not apologize. Still in my suit. Not going to apologize. Took a fucking risk. Who's fucking next? Well, he loaded up on Nate. He tried to take him out with one shot at a time And you just can't do that He's not that easy I don't know how he keeps Dos Anjos

Besides knocking him out Keeps him away from him I feel like if Dos Anjos grabs him It's a big, big problem Totally different animal physically I haven't seen any answer to that Totally different animal physically Dos Anjos has these thick ass ankles

And thick ass wrists Thick ass He's a thick motherfucker. I like knocking him out. Have fun getting kicked in the leg by him and then grabbed around the body. Well, it's also his pace is insanity. Insane.

He's breaking, dude. Especially at 55. When I watched his fight with Pettis, I was like, how is this guy keeping this up? See, that's not the move. If I'm Conor's manager, I have him first take some time off. He doesn't fight at UFC 200. No, you're crazy.

He's fighting UFC 200. Why would he not? When is that? Because he just got fucking murked. He might need a break because the UFC has him doing interviews 24-7. He got punched a couple of times. He got shot for a takedown. He got hit a couple of times on the ground and choked out. He got concussed. Do you think he got a concussion?

Huh? Yeah, he got fucking a 1-2 from fucking Nate Diaz and was on Wobble Street. But is that a concussion? This motherfucker shot a double leg I know he did but what is technically a concussion? Your brain getting fucked up and you seeing double and then you revert back to old school stone cold ways A concussion is when your brains bruised right? Right well medically like medically. I think it's when you bruise your brain I don't know. We know he got his bell rung. We know he got rocked We saw his legs buckle. We saw Nate beat

the piss out of him on the ground before he choked him. So all those count. That's brain trauma. Yeah. So I wonder how much damage he did and I wonder how much time he really should take off. Because it's not the same. There's obviously levels of it. Like Ronda getting head kicked by Holly is like the highest level.

The highest level is getting Gonzaga'd. When Gonzaga knocked out Cro Cop, that was like the highest. Go ahead and take a year off. Here's even better. Terry Edom versus Barboza. When Barboza wheel kicked Terry Edom, that's the highest level of KO.

Go and take some time off, son. That's the highest level of KO. But either way, see, we say, well, he just got his bell rung. That's brain trauma. But there's levels, right? But say, well, he just got his bell rung. That's brain trauma. But there's levels, right? But still. But you rushed to UFC 200 for what? For what?

Why not do another day? Baby, give me that paper. He's going to get paper no matter what. Also, how long is your career, like, just injuries and stuff, man? I don't know. We need a guy like Conor. Look at Chad Mendes, too. Look at Chad Mendes.

Chad Mendes goes from getting stopped by Conor and then immediately gets knocked out with one punch by Frankie and showed, like, that's not normal for him. Usually he can take a really good shot. Yeah, man. So he goes from that to that. Now, when was the Ricardo Lamas fight? It was before the Conor fight, right? Before Conor.

So he fights Ricardo Lamas, dusts him with one punch, hurts him at least with one punch, then puts him away. Fights Conor, loses that fight, gets stopped, and gets really rocked. Conor hits him with one punch, hurts him at least with one punch, then puts him away. Fights Conor, loses that fight, gets stopped and gets really rocked. Conor hits him with some big left hands. He didn't get knocked out, but he was so tired. He got punched. He got TKO'd.

And then Frankie just takes him out with one left hook. Left hook from fucking New Jersey, son. If I'm Conor's camp, I'm losing sleep over that guy, Frankie Edgar. You have to. He's a dingman. It's his best matchup. If he loses to Frankie, what happens to Connor at that point?

That's a real good question. If he loses to Frankie, he's got to really figure out how to regroup. It depends on how Frankie beats him. If Frankie takes him down and beats the fuck out of him on the ground, then he's got a real problem. That's what I'm saying. A lot of guys go, oh, that's the blueprint at my weight class.

Brian, everyone knows that's how you beat Conor. Everyone tries to do that and then they get fucking knocked out. Everyone in this entire world knows Conor's weak point is grappling. It's nothing new. But I would make an argument that he hasn't seen a real grappler. Chad Mendes. Except for Chad.

Was good for one round. Joe Duffy. Who's the guy who beat him. Beat him. Joe Duffy, arm triangle him. That's what I mean. So what I'm saying is that. I'm telling you, you're saying nothing new.

No, I know. I'm just saying that when you see what Chad Mendes did. What you see what Chad Mendes did. People right now are getting their fingers ready. Brendan's a bully. Brendan's a big bully. that when you see what Chad Mendes did, what you see what Chad Mendes did, Brendan's a bully! Brian Brendan's a big bully! And Rogan backs him up! They love picking on you, Callum! No, no, that's not what it is.

No, this is what Brian goes, just hear me out, I'm going to take some heat from this. No one's ever heard this. What if you fight Connor, and you take him down? No, what I said is... Just hear me out! I know it's crazy what I'm saying. What I said is, if you could Conor and you kick him down? No, what I said is... Just hear me out.

I know it's crazy what I'm saying. What I said is, if you could just get away... All you have to do is stay away from his left hand. That's the game plan for him. No, but that's not true because he kicks good. Conor's got really good kicks. His right hand's amazing, too. Did you just say he kicks all right?

His kicking didn't do a thing to Nate Diaz. Okay, yes, it did. He kicked him with some pretty good leg kicks. He just... He didn't throw anything. I don't think his kicks are like Dos Anjos is what I'm saying. They're not like... You can't say kicks all right. When you think about... He's a different kind of kicker than Dos Anjos.

I can't entertain this conversation. When Brian Cowan says his kicks are all right... In comparison to a lot of guys, I feel like that's not... I feel like when you fight Conor, you're worried about his left hand. You're not worried about getting knocked out like Holly. You say, be careful of that roundhouse. You're going to get knocked out.

With Dos Anjos, watch out for those leg kicks. With Aldo, watch out for those leg kicks. With Conor, you're saying, stay away from that left hand. Let me tell you, yes, but let me tell you something. If he kicks you in the face, he can knock you out that way too. And he can kick you in the face. But he hasn't done it to anybody. But it doesn't mean anything.

He's got a lethal left hand for sure. But when I watch him throw kicks. Well, you're closer. He throws a lot of kicks, man. He throws a lot of kicks, and a lot of times what he's doing is he's throwing almost disdainful kicks. Setting you up. Well, he's relaxed with them. He's just throwing them in there.

He just throws them in there. He's not like fucking gritting down and digging in. Like Barboza grits down, digs in. That's exactly what I'm saying. The kicks themselves might be there as a distraction, but you're not going to have to—it's not like your coach says, listen, those kicks are going to knock you out. Where's Barbosa? You're negating the Chad Mendes fight because he fucked Chad up with kicks to the body.

He hit Chad with a hard spinning back kick to the body. He front kicked him to the body a gang of times. I think he's got a lot of tools. It's just does he have real world-class tools? Like, here's the most world-class striker right now in MMA. Wonderboy. That's the most dynamic and exciting striker in MMA. And what he's doing is, he's sport karate, but Muay Thai skills and wrestling, takedown defense.

And that combination is fucking ridiculous. Nobody has an answer. Just hear me out. I know it's crazy. If I'm fighting him. He fights his hands down. You can't find a sparring partner to match him. No.

Well, he was 57-0, I think it was, in kickboxing. What the fuck? This is what's crazy. How crazy is MMA where Conor loses, Ronda loses, Holly loses? Like, you can't predict it. Everyone. Except for that bad motherfucker, pound for pound, number one, Jon Jones. I was going to say Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson.

Nah, he's lost, though. I'm talking about the only guy who hasn't. He hasn't lost since he fought Dominic Cruz. He lost a decision to Dominic Cruz. Still lost. I'm just saying a guy who hasn't. Jon Jones. It's true.

Not even close. That's true. Jon Jones hasn't been well, Gustafson. Still won. I want to see him in Rumble. I really do. Me too. I think he's going to wrestle. I think if he fights with Rumble, I think you'll see Jon Jones take Rumble down a whole bunch of times. Maybe, but TKO him second round. Take him down

first. Here's the thing about Jon. Jon could be the nail. He's not just the hammer. He could be the nail. And it's one of the things that's really scary about him. He's so fucking talented, but he still can take a beating and he does not give up. He got his arm basically snapped backwards by Vitor Belfort and they submitted Vitor later in the fight. I mean, he fought Chael Sonnen.

He had Vitor's entire body on him. He fought Chael Sonnen, beat the fuck out of him, and beating the fuck out of him, he broke his toe sideways, twisted it around backwards, and he didn't even realize it until we were talking. He didn't even realize it until he had his belt on. He was like, let's bring a sink of it. And he looks down, and the bottom of his big toe is facing up. And that's wild, Jon Jones.

Now he's lifting and praying. Good luck beating him. He's, Jon Jones. Now he's lifting and praying. Good luck beating him. He's lifting and drinking. He's lifting and praying. He's drinking Fiji water and doing squats. That's his Instagram. They show him lifting and everyone's like, he's changed. This is brilliant.

He's fucking changed. This is a cynical Brendan Shaw. Cynical Brendan Shaw who doesn't believe in movement coaches. Also doesn't believe Jon Jones is cheering. He does cheer. I'm saying good luck beating that dude. Good luck beating him. Good luck beating that dude. He doesn't believe in movement coaches. Also doesn't believe John Jones is cherry. He does cherry work, Brandon. I'm saying good luck beating that dude. Good luck beating him.

Good luck beating that dude. And if he is super dedicated, even more good luck beating him. Hopefully. Sometimes you need that wild card for greatness. You need to be a little crazy. I believe that. He's a wild motherfucker. I want my champ doing a couple lines here and there.

That's what I'm saying. I want my champ getting caught in a Bentley with prostit my champion cotton up barely with prostitutes when you did that interview with him and daniel cormier in the middle yeah i i the the look in john jones eyes oh he's terrifying dude what so did what happened when the camera wasn't rolling are you they didn't they wouldn't talk to each other before and they and afterwards john was they were talking mad shit on the way out in the parking lot but i didn't witness that so i can't really speak on that but before it like i had a conversation with daniel before it separately and i had a quick conversation with john before it separately just saying what's up how's everything you know chit chat and um you know seeing how's he how he's doing you, that kind of stuff and he's fucking terrifying,

man. He's, when he's focused, what the shit, some of the shit that he was saying to Daniel was like, ooh.

Yeah, he's, he's like, he's like, Daniel's problem is I'm the alpha and he wants to be the alpha but he knows

he's always gonna be my pussy. Yeah. You're always gonna be my pussy. I don't know if they put that on the video. They didn't put that? They just, alpha,

they took off the pussy, I think. So it's not online? They would kill each other. You can see that they would,'s not out. Alpha, they took off the pussy, I think. So it's not out online? They would kill each other. You can see that they would kill each other. They should leave that online. It might be online. I agree.

That's a mistake. They should leave that in. Dude, I want Jon Jones to go full fucking Batman Joker. Just be the heel. The darkness. But I'll tell you what, man. Daniel was pretty intense, too, man. When Daniel was looking at him, sometimes fighters will say things, and you go, well,

he doesn't really believe that, but he's saying that. Daniel was telling him, I'm going to do everything in my power. I'm willing to die to beat you. I'm willing to die to beat you. What John said, he goes, you better be willing to. Yeah. John wasn't shaken by it at all, but Daniel was super emotional. It was intense, man.

It was really, really, really intense. I'm excited for that fight. When did they fight? That is April. April. I'm excited for that fight. I don't think it changes, but I'm excited for it. Why don't you come?

Do you want to come? When is it? Because we might be on tour. We are Midwest tour in April. Are you guys on tour? Why don't you guys both come? We could, but we have a show, I think. It's like April 23rd and 24th.

Oh, you have a show that night? No, we have a show in Oklahoma. Oh, we do. Well, what a great move, being in Oklahoma. You know, Dan, why don't we go to UC events? They're like, hey, can we talk to you in the back? Choo-choo! Oh!

What are they going to be mad at you for? Hey, you mind taking an interview with Erwin Huani? Back here? Just like Robert De Niro. Yeah, back there. Keep going. Why is that flag? Oh, shit.

Yeah, Schaub died. Who killed him? We have no idea. He just seen me. Sorry. The Dana White entourage kills me. At the end of the day, what you do for the UFC by talking about fights, it hypes up fights. Yes.

You know, you got to let it be a little bit looser because you're dealing with 500 different fighters. So there's hundreds of potential matchups and maybe thousands if you count them all up, right? Yeah. And, you know, there's a lot of disagreement. There's a lot of debate. But what you guys do with the Fighter and the Kid,

Fighter and the Kid podcast, F-T-C-K-L-B-Q-T. TFATK.com is the website. TFATK. For my tour schedule. What you guys do is you create interest. You get people excited. You discuss things. It's fun.

It's entertaining. This is the thing, though discuss things. It's fun. It's entertaining. This is the thing, though, Joe. It's like, who pays our bills? Not the UFC. I can say whatever I want the realest way. Fox doesn't pay my bills, so there's no fucking regulator on me. And you're fair. And it's rare.

Not really. Sometimes. Well, I think that what you guys do is valuable, though, is what I was trying to say. It's worth a lot like they can't you can't always control the message that comes out when it comes to something is exciting and dynamic And multifaceted as MMA fights. It's just too much shit going on and then when it comes to things like controversial things like the Reebok deal or You know any any any other kind of sponsored situation or anything along those lines where there's a lot of disagreement, you've got to kind of let all that play out.

If you don't let all that play out, you're dealing with a super dynamic sport, and there's so many different areas to explore, and all those areas create interest. And I think by limiting the conversation, what you do is you limit the amount of interest because there's going to be disagreements. There's going to be people that are pro this and pro that and pro her and pro him and if if you got a guy like you is controversial and says a bunch of crazy shit like all that does is like blossom and at the end of the day you're not a bad guy you like mma you love the ufc love it you you you you're genuinely intrigued about these matchups. You just have a controversial point of view.

That shouldn't be silenced. I agree. And it's also that with the Reebok deal or any of these matchups, let's say you watch UFC Tonight. Who's paying their bills? These guys can't be real. The fighters with the Reebok deal, they can't come out because they can get backlash. So I was the first guy where, yeah, they're censored.

So I was the first guy where, I'm not censored. So I can say how it is. Like, oh, you're a hater. I'm not a hater. I'm one of the first guys that they can't do anything to me. There's really nothing you do. It's awesome. So they banned me from UFC tonight and UFC Fight Pass.

I don't give a fuck. I want double the money. That's why I got banned. There's just, for the first time, there's a guy with a voice. Yeah. And no one, Reebok's not paying the bills, Zufa's not paying the bills,

Dana's not in my ear going, make sure you promote this, I do what the fuck I want. And it would be a shame if they were, because it would be a shame if you stopped doing it the way you're doing it, because that's what's fun about it. What's fun about your show

is that you know that if you get Brendan wound up, he'll start talking some crazy shit. I do. And I do. And the MMA journalists, they probably wrote three stories already during the time we've been doing this podcast.

They wrote one about Joe Rogan disrespects Misha's ass and Brian Carraway. That's probably one of them. And you guys bullied me. Something about fried chicken. Something about fried chicken. And we bullied you. And I'm bullied. And I'm sure there's a record.

I love Christy Mack. Yeah, Brian Callen is a wrestling expert. And kick expert. Brian Callen, breaking news. How you beat Conor McGregor? Wrestling. Take him down. Not impressed with Conor McGregor's kicks.

Take him down. What? Then someone shows a highlight reel of Conor McGregor doing spinning wheel kicks. Front kicks and dropping Chad Mendes. The thing about the internet is I'll get 50 guys going, dude, you were the only one who knew about the kicks. I can tell you. And then you get like six people going, you should never talk about MMA.

You're a piece of shit. Well, you're going to have both. Yeah. For sure. I don't read them anymore ever since talking to you. You're like, don't read that shit. It's like, stop doing it. You should choose who you communicate with in this life.

And one of the things that's good about criticism and online criticism is you can learn how other people view you. And you can go, okay, yeah, I see that's right. That's kind of valid. Maybe I came off douchey, or maybe I should preface that better, or maybe I should explain myself better. But then you realize that some of the people are just trying to hurt your feelings. Yes.

And then you have to realize, well, what kind of a person just tries to hurt your feelings? Losers. Yes. That's it, 100%. Anybody who's trying to hurt your feelings, reaching out to Big Brown, trying to make you feel bad. Why are they doing that? Why waste all that time?

Is there humor involved in what you're doing or are there people enjoying it? Is there a method to it? Do you have a message or are you just trying to hurt Big Brown's feelings? But it's also you know you're doing something right because you're putting all this positive energy out and people are like, fuck, man. Even if you put negative energy out. I thought this dumbass was done once he lost to Travis Brown. Wrong! Keep it on, keep it on.

But anybody, like look at Kanye West. I'm not a Kanye West fan. I mean, I hear from Jamie. I celebrate his entire catalog. His music is excellent. Just bought his shoes. I'll tell you a Kanye West story after this. I think his clothes are ridiculous. Love his shoes. But I love the fact that he'll tweet something really stupid and stir all these dummies up. Oh, me too.

His feeding frenzy that he tweets, Bill Cosby's innocent, right before his album drops. I mean, come on. That is fucking funny. It's brilliant. That's some master manipulator type shit. I ended up marketing genius. You know, I used to always go bad on Kanye, and I went out. I was like, why is this guy,, everybody likes him and I know people are very

intelligent and speak highly, so I looked at his body of work. I think you should just wrestle. Take people down. I think I can take Kanye down, but what got to me is I was like, this guy's produced a shitload of music and it's all different. So I went and bought every song.

I bought every song he's ever done and I spent three days listening to every song like three times and I got the lyrics right so I was like all right all right look you cannot deny this guy is putting out crazy amounts of work and it's really good he's very talented yeah so talented but then I started listening to interviews that he was giving like long ones long form interviews and I have to say i came full circle the musical genius he's got but he's also got shit to say that i agree with like i'm aligned with him i think he also trips over his own dick yes he's got arrogant outbursts and you can relate to a poor chicago

black kid because you grew up rich and no i can relate to an artist who says i'm not going to limit myself and i'm not going to censor myself. And I'm going to speak my mind because we live. He goes, I feel like people are crazy. Is it just about your Maybach and just about your status or is it about something else? And he was very eloquent about how he spoke. I love what he said on Jimmy Kimmel. That rant he had about being an artist. I told you to watch that.

Fucking great. So a lot of what he is. I'm a Kanye fan, so I tried to convert Brian and I finally did. Do you own a pair of Yeezys? I just got them for my birthday. They're so hard to get. I know Jamie's jealous. I just got some.

200 pairs of shoes. He takes pictures of them. That's cool. I love shoes. I love shoes and watches. You know what I love, man? These are my favorite. These new fucking Solomon.

They're like a hiking shoe that's a running shoe. That's a Joe Rogan shoe. You run up hills with these bitches. Yeah, you can do some shit in those. Look at the tread in those motherfuckers. That's a dad shoe. That's an athletic dad shoe right there. It's not athletic. It's a fucking mountain hunter Rogan you run up hills with these You can do some shit the tread knows mother fuck's a dad shoe that's right athletic dad shoe right there It's a fucking mountain hunter shoe you can't mountain hunter dad. Yeah, I run hills with these mother These things fucking killed animals in those things you had like hiking boots right, but you turn them into a running Let me see it again right here. Yeah, maybe I'll wear those for my next they're super right real thin sole

And you could fucking... You feel the ground with them. Can we go hiking? Can we go hunting in those? Yes. You could. But you wouldn't because you would get shit in your... Unless you were in a place that didn't have like...

You're not taking those to Alaska. You want a higher... Yeah. You want a higher ankle. You want something that protects your ankle a little bit more. But if you're like running hills, is what I use these for, they're fucking awesome. This is a demonstration for me and you, Mr. Rogan. You like shoes for their effectiveness and what they

actually do. Yes. I just like the way they look. I just want them to look good with my jeans. You would bind your feet like a medieval Chinese woman if it looked good. You don't give a shit. For the Yeezys, I was like, shit, they don't have a 13. How's a 12 fit? Pretty tight, I'll take. He had to wear moccasins. I wore these the other day at REI, and they're like,

ooh, nice Solomons. Those kind of guys. Those guys are balls deep in those functional shoes. Yeah, the guys who would buy one of them water bladders that you put in your backpack. The camelbacks. Yeah, those guys. Carry a water bottle, you fucks. I like my salesmen to be opinionated. I went to buy boots at REI for our hunting trip, and I was like, I'm going to Alaska.

And I love a guy who's like, ooh, well, let me think about this. Now, is it going to be in the winter? And I'm, yeah, I'm looking at precipitation right now. Let me pull up my graph. That's my guy. That's my guy. Well, this soul's a fourth of an inch. I'm going to say you're going to want that.

I want a guy who speaks in graphs and numbers. When I buy a car, I want to hear the dude give me, well, we got more cabin room in this. I'm all about that guy, the detail guy. I talked to a guy at the BMW dealership once. Yeah. We're discussing something about an M3, and he didn't know jack shit. Big problem. I got so turned up.

Oh, no. I almost wanted to get away from him. No. I want to know torque, weight. Yeah. I'm like, does this one have the active suspension? They got to know their shit, man. If you don't know, this is one of the best cars you guys have ever made.

It's also your job, bitch. You're wearing a suit working at BMW for sure. Tell me about the car. You're selling these things. How do you not know? How do I know more than you? I'm a comedian. When I went to look at my car, I did a little private experiment.

I was looking at Audis. I was looking at Toyotas. I was looking at Lexus. And I did a little thing. It's a show of an i was looking at uh toyotas i was looking at lexus and i did a little thing it's a chauvinistic thing but i found that women saleswomen uh don't they're not up on the details like guys are guys love numbers stats depends what car and all that and and i i found that women would usually go you know i they knew the car but they'd be like i don't know about the that that's something that i'd have to ask and they'd always know that yeah guys you should definitely do that i go in with all my research done i don't know about the, that's something that I'd have to ask. You should know that. Yeah, guys.

You should definitely know that. Dude, I go in with all my research done. I don't want this dude yapping my ear off. I know what the fuck I want. You're a car guy. Like when I bought my Prius, which the lease is up next month, thank baby Jesus. I bought it just for camp because I was driving all over California. Right.

The lease is up. But when I bought that thing, he goes, oh, you want a test drive? I'm like, nah, bitch, it's a Prius. I'll figure it out. I don't want to take it around the block. It's depressing. I'm just doing it for gas mileage. Then I got in.

I was like, I need to figure something out. Oh, you had to go through the book? Prius would bum you out. You drive your Porsche like I beat him everywhere. You drive your Porsche very carefully. I only open up when necessary. You go to speed limit, bro. Well, he's not a dickhead.

But if you had one of those cars, you would appreciate what one of those cars can do. It's a ride. It's a piece of art. Yeah. When you're driving that thing, you're driving a finely engineered machine that's perfectly balanced to take corners. Preach. Preach, Joe Rogan.

And it has this fucking sound of that flat six in the back. That's why I don't mind driving. I get in my car, I'm like, fuck. Hey, man, I don't take corners. You know what I mean, guys? I'm in traffic a lot, but thanks. No, it doesn't matter. You can occasionally get out of traffic.

And when you do, it's way more fun to be in his car than your fucking granddad mobile. You don't know. Granddad mobile. You don't know. I'm the guy when I see other Porsche on the road, I go, fucking A. Thumbs up. Fucking A, man. You know what I saw the other day?

Loser. No, man. It's an elite club. I had to wave to this guy and give him a thumbs up. He had a Corvette Z06 The new Z06 the top comes off So it becomes like a target It'll melt your face

Crazy fast It sounds so good Nothing sounds better than a fucking American V8 And you gave a serious sound That's legit. That's legit. Woo! You know what I think?

You know what I think when I think of that? You're going to laugh. When I think about when you make that noise, I go, I wouldn't hear my books on tape as loudly. Oh, man. That's the difference between us. That's literally where my head went. I was like, ooh, I couldn't really listen to a book, a novel.

That's my wife gets in my car the other day. She goes, what the fuck are you listening to? I was listening to the Knock On podcast Knock On is an archery based podcast By this guy John Dudley Podcast is all about Archery Yeah, he talks about

Fucking super technical shit About archery You love it? Fuck yeah, I listen to it every day Dude, we still haven't sighted my bow, bro. I know, I know, I know. We got to get your bow to a range, and we got to get your draw length measured and stuff like that.

Obviously. We can do that. It's super important, brother, that you do that. I need my draw length measured. We're going to go out in August is what we're going to go out. All right. So what we're going to have is a good solid two to three months of serious preparation. It's called training camp. What I want is you to be able to shoot months of serious preparation. It's called training camp.

What I want is you to be able to shoot accurately to 20 yards. And then what I want you to do is not shoot anything outside of 20 yards. They call me Deadeye. Because in that amount of time, I think we can get that done. I think we can get you to it. I'll group them. Hey, Joe. I'll fucking group them.

I want to save your time because you're a busy man. You know Brian's not a hunter, right? Hey, no, I'm a hunter. No, no, Brian's a hunter. I'm a hunter. They call me Deadeye, bro. Listen, I watched him shoot several deer, no, Brian's a hunter. I'm a hunter. Brian is... They call me Deadeye, bro. No, listen, I watched him shoot several deer, and he is

steady on the fucking trigger. He squeezes. He doesn't jerk it. He's got a great shot. He's got a great aim. No, he doesn't panic. Bring that deer meat home, son. He makes good shots. How long are you guys going for? We'll probably go for five or six. Hey, don't tell him. Don't tell him. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You know what? We'll be back. We're gonna be back here. We'll be back with meat.

Just know that you wait by the campfire. We'll be back with fucking meat. You enjoy your cushy life with your cappuccino. We'll come back with the fucking meat and cover it in mosquito bites, but it's worth it. We're going hard. And dysentery. We're going to Nevada.

We're going into the mountains of Nevada. We're going to archery hunt for mule deer. Yeah. And so we're going to backpack in there, and we'll be camping, and we're going to be glassing and hiking. It'll be warm. Six days. It'll be warm. I don't care.

But this is the thing. It's five days too long for me. A couple things you've got to do. We've got to figure out the bow thing. That's a big one. Yeah. That's the biggest one. And we've got to get you hooked up with a bunch of different kinds of equipment.

Because with archery, one of the things that's really important, because you're getting really close to them, you've got to know which way the wind's blowing. One of the things that's really important because you're getting really close to them, you've got to know which way the wind's blowing. It's like a little talcum powder bottle, and you squeeze it into the air, and it blows up, and then it goes which way the air goes. You've got to start listening to this archery podcast, as a matter of fact. It's too deep for you. No, you guys should start your own podcast about archery. If you get to the 1% of 1% that give a fuck about archery,

that's the kind of shit I'm into. I'm into I'm into like Leveling your second and third axis. I'm into multi pin sights on a dovetail housing I'm into do you use a kisser button or no kisser button what grain arrows? What's the spot? Yeah shot 200 arrows the other day I got problem what is it about of course you do day i got problems what is it about of course you do i'm fucking insane what is it about with me what is it about the tactile experience of archery that you love like what is i'm i told you i'm something wrong with me man when i get into something it's like that thing is like a i don't fucking house could be on fire if i'm shooting bullseyes i'm good yeah i don't know what it is you're getting the flow i don't know there's't know. There's a switch that goes off, and then I'm no longer driving anymore.

But Joe, don't you think if you picked up golf, you'd be- Yes. That's why I never played golf, because I'm scared. Keep him away from golf, dude. You'll freak out. I don't think archery's your passion. I think whenever you got into it, your ball's in. That's true.

That's true. But it has to be cool, and archery is fucking awesome. Don't play golf, bro. You will lose your life. Look, I've lost my life with pool. Dude, let me tell you something. I have dreams someday. Sometimes I sit around here, and I'll do a bunch of podcasts, and I'm like,

you know what I think I'm going to do? I'm just going to quit everything and just go play pool on tour. Okay, that's intense. I understand that, though. I understand that. I'll run a few racks. That sounds like a bad idea. I'll smoke a fat joint and play. Fitz Simmons is coming over the other day. Not tomorrow. Wednesday, Thursday. Wednesday, though. I understand that. I'll run a few racks. Sounds like a bad idea. I'll smoke a fat joint. Okay. And play, like, Fitzsimmons is coming over the other day.

Not tomorrow. Wednesday, Thursday. Wednesday, tomorrow. Tomorrow. When Fitzsimmons come over, you know what I'm really happy about? We're going to play pool. Yeah. That's what I'm excited about.

I'm going to see him. We're going to play some pool. For sure, I'll give everything up and start a pool. I feel like doing it sometimes. But this sounds weird, but I watch videos. I'm telling you, man. I watch videos on boxing footwork and tennis strokes. Exactly.

And I practice that tennis stroke alone in my room. What's wrong with you? I love it. Dude, I have a release that I put. I put my archery release. I have a training tool where it's like a rope that I pull back and I hold it. And I'm watching TV. I'm firing off shots.

So I'm clicking this and I'm watching TV. I'm by myself. I don't give a fuck. I'm just sitting there watching TV and I'm firing off shots. So I'm clicking this and I'm watching TV. I'm by myself. I don't give a fuck. I'm just sitting there watching TV and I'm firing off shots. There's something zen about it, right? That's intense, man. Once you kill an elk with a bow and arrow, dude, the world becomes a totally different place.

It becomes a totally different place because you realize how, first of all, how fucking primal and crazy that is. And then also getting your food that way. You're like, okay, I'm out of the factory farming system. If I could do this every year, I'm out for life. Now I'm completely responsible for all the meat I get. I shoot one animal. I eat that animal for a year.

Damn. One year. Yeah. Well, you eat other stuff too. I've shot a deer too. It's going to last for a long time. You know what? I get almost as much satisfaction giving away to friends. giving away friends. I love it. I love that

Elk I ate this shit Elk sausage you made I got a gang of it. It's at home. Do you want some more? Yeah, it's like dry. It was like dried right? We're coming. Oh, it's um, it's breakfast sauce. No summer sausage summer sauce I'll eat some so it's good. It's some now I keep I keep rolls of it in the refrigerator back there It's fucking delicious. I think it's raw though. No, no, no, no, no, it's cooked too. So it's cooked. It's in the back. I'll have some now. I keep rolls of it in the refrigerator back there. It's fucking delicious. I think it's raw though. No, no, no, no, no.

It's cooked. No, it's cooked. Oh yeah, go ahead and bring that out. No, it's cooked. It's summer sausage. You can cook it. You could slice it and like quick cook it. Put some eggs on it, a little hot sauce.

My mouth is watering. Well, I have a venison sausage that I had made too. Oh my God. That sounds tasty too. I had some the other day with breakfast. I feed my family with that, man. You guys just keep killing shit and then I'll take some of the sausage. Dude, look, I like giving away

almost as much as I like eating it. I really do. It's awesome. Like, Duncan sent me a picture. Him, his girlfriend, and Timothy Leary's son were eating elk meatballs from an elk brown elk that I gave them. It's delicious. Dude, I'll tell you what I can't get enough of is those kombuchas. I know, right?

I drink three a day now. Is that a problem you think? GTs? No. I love them. People think we're doing an ad. Every time I do something on Instagram, people go, dude, fucking sue us. No, man, I just fucking love kombuchas.

Yeah, it's good. But not the bullshit clear can. It has to be the black 21 and over. Yeah. I like to live on the white side. Well, explain that because people don't know what you mean. Well, the clear can, they basically produce those so they could sell in grocery stores because they have no alcohol content in them.

Very little. Very little. So the black cans they have more alcohol content, how they should be, how the tea is naturally fermented. So you want the black can that says 21 over. It's not a black can, it's a bottle and the difference is the label on the top it's just the plastic rim around the

bottle top when you open it is black. But, bro, even the bottles are different on the 2100. Yeah, they're darker. And it's something about the fermentation. Do we have a knife for that? Okay, we've got a knife. I've got a samurai sword over there from the 1500s. Ooh, go ahead and slice that thing up with a samurai sword.

That is a real samurai sword from the 1500s. Yes, it is That is a real samurai sword Mm-hmm. Is it Aubrey gave it to me? Is it open that bitch up? Feel like this is dangerous see that's what your baller friends. That's kind of shit. They give you this isn't Shut your fucking mouth. Damn it. It's like we're on Pawn Stars right now. It's an awesome guy.

Shattering Rogan's dreams. It's an excellent replica. Thank you so much. No, that is 100% real. Of course. The blade itself. You told me that shit was $49.99, Brian. Yeah.

They refurbish the handle and make it all perfect, but that blade is from the 1500s. That's a lie, Brian. That's nice. The thing looks pretty fucking real. That's real as fuck, dude. Hey, go up and cut that fucking sausage and stop jacking off to the samurai sword. I wonder if people have died by that sword. Good chance, if it's that old.

I wonder. I mean, if you think about all the samurai swords from the 1500s, how many- Japan was in this continuous civil war for about 300 years, so there's a good chance. Right, but what I'm thinking is, is it like pistols? Most people who have pistols never killed anybody True You know what I mean? Is that what it was back in the day with samurai swords?

Or were they just more liberal? I think they did more gangster shit Yeah, probably Take a little bit of that elk sun Slice into that bitch Oh yeah, Brian The plastic is getting you Take a piece

Hey, back to the kombucha though People try telling me the benefits are fake on that And what's so? Just saying it's not that good for you It's probiotic Take a piece. Hey, back to the kombucha, though. People try to tell me the benefits are fake on that. And what's so? Just saying it's not that good for you. It's probiotic. Well, probiotic is fermented vegetables and fermented mushrooms and things along those lines, which is essentially what kombucha is. It's like a fungus.

It's very good for you. It's very good. You want some of this, Joe? Sure. Can you eat some of this? Yeah, I can eat that. Fuck yeah. It's very good for you. Probi very good. Want some of this, Joe? Sure. Can you eat some of this? Yeah, I can eat that. Fuck yeah. It's very good for you.

Probiotics are super important. Gut health. Gut health is... You know what's a great way of getting it? I love kimchi, man. I've been getting into kimchi. Yep. I found, you know, down near the Calabasas.

You ever go to that Calabasas Farmer's Market? Yeah, I want one. Well, the Farmer's Market is amazing. No, where's that? They have like... Well, I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you. Calabasas Farmer's Market has these local kombuchas and local kimchi.

So good. From people that run farms nearby, and then they have their own, some spicy... They taste pretty good? Yeah. It's really good. I love them, man. I love it. I don't drink soda.

I haven't drank soda in forever, but these replace that for me. They're way healthier. Well, kimchi is actually fermented cabbage. It's like a spicy fermented cabbage. But my point is that it's a really good source of probiotics. I've been eating it every morning. I don't know if it's because of that, but I feel amazing. Kimchi's fantastic for you.

It's probably that, Brian. It's really good for you. Well, gut health changes everything, man. If you listen to some of my podcasts I've done with Rhonda Patrick, she goes deep into gut health and how important it is for all sorts of aspects of your personality, the way you think about things. It's amazing. They did that with the rats where they changed the gut health in the rat, like the bacteria. And some rats with healthy bacteria in their gut kept fighting, I guess, to get out of the bacteria. And some rats with healthy bacteria in their gut kept fighting, I guess, to get out of the water.

And others, when they changed the bacteria in their gut, it actually changed the serotonin levels in their brain because apparently serotonin is made in the gut as well. And they just became listless and gave up. And drowned? Yeah. Fucking rats. Bitch ass.

Yeah, some weak ass rats effect. Bitch ass. Bitch ass rats. Yeah, some weak ass rats. With stomach aches. If you're going to go swimming, make sure your gut's good. See, and this all came from an animal that, I mean, I was there. That you shot in the face. In the body. You ever shoot him in the face, though?

No, I never shoot him in the face. It's a good idea, though. You don't do it because you really, it's hard to be that accurate. When you shoot a body, like especially an elk, you have a giant target. As much as you're practicing, let's start going for some headshots on this next one. I think that's taboo, right? No, guys do it all the time with pigs. Oh yeah? Yeah, there's a show called Pig Man. Pig Man is kind of hilarious. I watch that show and I go, God, if vegans ever fucking found out.

Oops. Boom. I let it out. There's a show called Pig Man, okay? And this motherfucker, he's called Pig Man because he just kills pigs. He's got a ranch. I mean, he hunts all over the world. He just shot a moose with a bow and arrow.

Like those cute pink pigs? No, no, no. Wild, invasive hogs. Like those cute pink pigs. I love those. The one that was on my Instagram the other day was carrying off a fawn. Did you know that hogs carry off fawns and kill them and eat them? Yeah. That was a warthog. No, it wasn't. Really? No. It was a pig. That was an American

domestic hog. That's Pigman. He's got a patch on his eye because he was in a fucking car accident. He got all fucked up, and now he's going to shoot his bow with his left eye. Now he's taking the anger from losing his eye out on the pigs? No, he's always been a pig murderer. I mean, look, if you live in Texas, you've got to kill pigs. Is it that hard to kill pigs? Yes.

You've got to find them, first of all. I mean, they're massively invasive. There's millions of them. Really mean fucking millions You can't just take a machine gun and mow them down. In Texas alone there are millions of wild hogs It's so bad that Texas they opened up a road They had built a new road and the night they opened it up They got like 40 car accidents where people were slamming into pigs. You know what Tim Kennedy told me this He said in Texas pigs are real. He gets on a horseback and hunts them with spear. How about the fact they hunt them with fucking helicopters?

Yeah. You want to see something crazy? Watch this. Pull up Pigman and Ted Nugent hunt pigs with a helicopter. They have episodes they call Aporkalypse Now, and they fucking fly around. Hey, is that Nugent saying Ted Nugent is saying- Is that really hunting Is that

Massacre No it's massacre Yeah Ted Nugent said it should be illegal Not to do this Yes Yeah it's a massacre But that's what they have to do

Like look There are things That you have to do If you wanna If Everybody has this idea That nature balances itself out But the problem with that idea

Is that 90% of everything That's ever existed Ever is extinct 90% So all those fucking animals that weren't helped along like you know i mean there's there's a real big problem problem with uh bears and deer and moose populations because bear and wolves especially too now in the places where wolves have been reintroduced because wolves give birth to a litter, right? So if a wolf pup, if a wolf mom has like six babies, a moose only has one baby. So the moose has one baby and then there's this fucking wolf running around with six

pups. Well, just do the math. They're going to slowly but surely start taking out all of the game animals. And that's what's happening in a lot of states. So we're going to start killing wolves now? Yeah. God damn it. Well, they've reintroduced wolf hunting to a lot of states now.

And bears? Well, bears have always been hunted. Well, you have to hunt things. I like a nice Kodiak bear. A lot of mountain lion. You have to hunt things that don't have a predator. Because if they don't have a predator, then nothing controls their population. Like great white sharks or what? Well, great white sharks. Trying to hunt things that don't have a predator because if they don't have a predator than nothing controls their population Great white sharks or what well great white sharks trying to hunt those next they clean shit up dude look at him hanging

But that's what that's just an ad there's actual episodes where you can boys are just going down these little pigs That's that was a pork lips was a night on sportsman's channel Yeah, they kill everything on a porkalypse now. But my point being this guy's dad, pig man's dad, shoots pigs in the head all the time. Not only does he shoot them in the head. Execution style? But way crazier. What he does is he'll line corn up on the road, like a row of corn, like maybe several yards long.

He baits them with corn. And then they get down there because it's a line. They get down there to eat in a line and then he gets their heads lined up. So when he gets their heads lined up, he'll shoot through three of them with one bullet. Jesus. And he's always trying to kill as many pigs as he can with one bullet to the head. And it's- It's a psycho.

It's crazy. But it's fucked up. But they do have to kill these things. So look, if you can kill one by shooting it in the head, that is the best way to do it. And some people are like, no, you shouldn't do it, man. You shouldn't kill it. Well, okay. Well, then they're going to eat everything.

They're going to eat all the ground-nesting birds. They're going to eat all the deer. Jimmy, Google how many pigs we slaughter a day in this country. The number will blow your mind. You're talking about those soft, pink, cute pigs. You're talking about domestic pigs. I'm just saying. You're talking about those soft pinkies.

I love those. I like a nice pig. That's avoidable because you don't have to have farming. You don't have to have factory farming. You don't have to feed that many people you do. My point is we're talking about completely different issues. My point is if you let these wild hogs go nuts and just keep breeding, they're having

three litters a year sometimes. And each one of them is like six to eight fucking babies. 500 hogs in 48 hours. They're having three litters a year sometimes. Yeah, that's really bad. And each one of them is like six to eight fucking babies. 500 hogs in 48 hours. They can run fast. They run fast, by the way. Oh, they're fast as shit. And they know what's going on, man. They're smart. Wow. They hear these pop, pop, pop, and they watch their friends explode. They're not stupid.

Damn. But I don't know. Are pigs smarter than dogs? They're very smart. Yeah. They're very smart. It depends on who's dog. They can run, though. I'm impressed with how fast they run. It's a wild animal, Brian. Yeah. No, that's terrified for its life. But the question is, if you don't do this, okay, if you don't shoot them, what do you

do? Do you just let them, like, what is the vegan response? What is the animal rights response? Build a wall for them? What do you do? You gotta kill them. You gotta kill them. But you can't have a wall.

That's a white one, you son of a bitch. Well, there's a lot of these are domestic pigs that get loose. I'm so impressed with how fast they run. They bound. Yeah. They're fast as fuck. And by the way, this ain't easy to hit these fucking things. Dude, I love how they're running. I love how they're running zigzag. Yeah, fuck yeah, they're smart. Yeah, they're trying. You gotta be a good shot

though. Not if you got an automatic, right? Well, you definitely have to be a good shot. You still, I mean, guys miss on this show all the time. I played a lot of Halo as a kid.

No, for real. I feel like I'd be all right. Call of Duty and shit. Hey, dude, do they have kids now who are 16 years old

because they've been playing video games and there were three? You give them a couple of adjustments, they're shooting as well as any SWAT guy. They get used to

pulling triggers. Those first person shooters are real as a motherfucker. It's all these fucks when they go into the theater shooting they all fucking practice on them. They're kids who are expert marksmen. They get used to leading too. They get used to doing

all kinds of different things. This one kid was 16 and he was hitting headshots. Bang, bang, bang, bang. At first he was kind of missing a little and they gave him a couple of adjustments because it was a real gun. And in an afternoon he was shooting as well as the expert marksman. Kids play a little too much video games. He'd been playing since he was three.

That is so insane. It's so insane if you think about what they can do now in comparison. Think about what they used to be able to do 20 years ago, what they can do now, and then what they're going to be able to do 20 years from now. You're talking about video games? I'm talking about controlling things. Fighters? I wonder if fighters are going to have an ability to fight a virtual reality, kind of move in their head and seeing shots come.

Here's one thing for sure is going to happen. We're going to have some iRobot-type assassins. 100%. Oh, yeah. We're going to release those on Afghanistan. Yeah. We're never going to have another casualty. That's right.

I mean, if they decide- And they're also going to release them. Well, that's the problem. Yeah. Suicide bombers? Now it's a fucking iRobot that just walks into the Miami Dolphins Stadium? Oh, that's the worry. That one's for free, CIA.

We're ahead technologically, but gee whiz. Well, for a little bit. China begs the difference. Yeah. How about Korea? Well, I'm going to see that thing come from a mile away. That thing. That thing's way too big.

Atlas, the next generation. This thing has a battery power on its back that it stole from a Tesla. Good luck. And it's running around. I'm going to go ahead and run behind that thing

and yank the cords out. I'm not afraid of that. It's going to know you're running behind it because it has cameras everywhere. Just like a Tesla. Look at this thing. Just like a Tesla.

That's how a Tesla drives. This is insane, though. This is weird to watch. I know it is. This thing walking around. Don't you feel like you just run up and fucking Bruce Lee kick it and fall over? Well, it can see you coming, I would assume. It has cameras everywhere.

Why wouldn't you put cameras 360 degrees on one of these fucking things? It's picking up a box. Ooh, it bends over correctly. Nice posture. The guy slaps him, tries to knock him over. Oh, damn. Oh, my God. That balance is legit.

Let me spinning back kick that thing. Yeah. Stop it. Let me fucking y kick that. Yeah. Stop it. Let me fucking yank him from the back. I'll just sunshine trip him. Just get him in a collar tie. Right? Just fuck.

Let me go get that plumb. This is the future. This is the future. Hopefully it's a little more aerodynamic. All right, this guy keeps fucking with the robot. I hope he fucks this Steve Jobs kid. He's moving it around. Now it's going to chase after the package.

Why doesn't he get mad at the guy with the stick? I know. Why doesn't he slap the guy with the stick? Because he's a kind robot. That's what I'm looking for. He's a kind robot. Well, have you guys paid attention to this Go thing? No.

Well, for the first time, Google's AI has been able to beat the best Go players in the world. Yeah, push it from behind. What the fuck am I talking about? You roll up behind him and fucking push his sorry ass over. What? Let's see it get back up. Fuck you, robot. No.

Let's see how it gets back up. Yeah, but I'm yanking cords out once he gets down there. It looks almost fake. The way it's getting up. Whoa, I don't like that. It looks like RoboCop in 1988. Scary. And it doesn't even bother defending itself.

Wow. This is just a prototype, right? We're looking at something that's going to one day be like a Brendan Shaw or a Brian Callen. You're not even going to be able to tell. That's scary. So anyway, the Google artificial intelligence, the AI, for the first time has been able to beat the best player in the world, a human being at Go. And Go, which is exponentially more difficult than chess.

It's a super complicated game. Wow. Not only are these AI systems, this Google AI system, able to beat the best player in the world, but it's doing it in some really creative ways that are freaking people out. Because they're trying to figure out how these fucking games, how these artificial intelligence programs are learning these games so well. They thought it was going to be years before one could beat a player. Like a real world class, top of the food chain, go player.

God, I feel like a dumbass for not knowing this game. I feel like a dumbass not knowing Lee Sedol. You could make up the rules and I'd be like, okay. I was playing Sorry with my kids the other day and they were totally making up rules. I could tell. I was like, what? That doesn't make any sense. Yo, daddy, definitely.

I go to reach for the fucking instructions. She grabs my hand. No, daddy, this is not. Let's not look at that. Oh, I see what's up. You're getting creative. Uh-huh. Getting creative.

Man, our kids are going to grow up with... I saw the new Tesla SUV because Will Smith's son had it at Air One. He's got that... Name dropper. Look at you. Yeah. And at Air One, okay, we get it. You're in Calabasas.

Sorry, guys. I mean, no. He's got to spend that karate kid money somewhere. That's right. Word. God damn right. Is he going to spend that karate kid money somewhere. That's right. Word. Goddamn right. Is he going to start a cult someday, yes or no? Will Smith? Either one. Him, his son.

Anyone like that? Doesn't he want to disappear and he also doesn't see a difference in women and men's clothing? Is that what I read? Well, there's no gender. It's not real. Doesn't he know that? Who says this? There's no more he and she. Will Smith. Well, all bathrooms should just be shit. Kids are looker. Kids are looker, I'll tell you that much.

Oh, you want equal rights? Go ahead and share the bathroom. Yeah, share the bathroom with Roy Nelson. He's a good looking kid, though. I don't see man clothes and woman clothes. Well, you need to get glasses, because they're very different. Girls wear skirts, boys wear fucking combat boots and shit. Go and put some high heels on and walk around all day.

Listen, if I was in this fucking kid's position, I'd be saying way more stupid shit than him. I'd be way weirder and doing way more crazy shit. Yeah, anybody in that life, like growing up with your parents being- You're a prince. You grew up like a little prince. It's not just a prince, but even weirder because your dad is a professional make-believer. Your dad is just a guy who's really good at pretending, and he's world-renowned. Everywhere you go, you're flying on private jets.

His mom, too. Yeah. She's famous as fuck. Did you see Chris Rock's bit about that? Oh, it's classic. About Jada Pinkett. What did he say? He's like, Jada Pinkett protesting at the Oscars is like me protesting outside of Beyonce's

pussy. No, Rihanna, right? I'm not invited. No, Rihanna. Rihanna's pussy. I was not invited. Rihanna's pussy. I was not invited. It's a great joke. It's perfect. Who is the other black actor?

Thanks for almost fucking it up, though. You chimed in in the middle of me telling that story. Really good for the timing. Who is the other black actor who tweeted, hey, Rihanna, hey, Jada, act better? I was like, oh, jeez, man. was the other the other black actor who who tweeted uh hey rihanna act i mean uh hey jada act better i was like oh geez man i can't oh did they really yeah it's good you want to get favor

with the academy that's the way to go what did you think about that whole uh oscar so white well you want my answer yes please more wrestling or whenever something bothers me well yeah whenever something bothers me i'm usually kind of right about it in a way where I go, hmm. I know the message is important and I obviously am not prejudiced and I want everybody to be equal. I think I resent when people cram it down my throat and try to shame me or scold me, which I felt like the Oscars were doing a little bit. They did a good job, I think, of kind of taking the piss out of it. You know, making it, come on, we're Oscars were doing a little bit. They did a good job I think of kind of taking the piss out of it, you know, making it, come on, we're off blah blah blah, and Chris Rock did a good job

with what he had, but I always feel like when Joe Biden talked about consent and when Lady Gaga got up and sang that song about victims of sexual abuse, like I get it, I'm with you I'm not pro-rape.

Who is not going to rape someone because of a Lady Gaga song? You are really not committed to rape. Matter of fact, it made me more angry. I don't even want to rape. I feel like it. You feel like you're being manipulated. And demonized.

Not only that, it's a manipulation where I already agree with you. Yeah, we're all on board. Racism is bad. Duh. We're all on board. You're telling me something I don't know. Sexual assault, it's bad.

Duh. Thanks, Joe Biden. God told me that because I was about to go rape a bitch. Thank God you sung that song. Thanks for making a stand. You know what? But it's not real. It's social virtuing.

It's virtue signaling. That's what Michael Shermer calls it. But this is the other thing, Joe. Let me devil's advocate for a second. Devil's advocate for a second. Can you do that? Can you advocate? I can advocate.

Advocate for the devil? There is, I do understand the idea that if you are Sam Smith and you say, hey, this is for all the LBT people out there, or if you are Lady Gaga. LGBT? LGBT. You forgot the gay people. Sorry. Lesbians, trammies. Hey, this is for all the LBT people out there or if you are Lady Gaga LGBT? LGBT You forgot the gay people Sorry, sorry How dare you

It's all I see guys. It's all I see You don't see gay? No, I have to exclude them Do you see women's clothing and men's clothing? I don't, dude. I'm just so colorblind I don't even know if you guys are girls or boys Do you have a front hole or a cock? Front hole?

Let me check There it is. But what was I saying? Something really profound. But this is my thing, Joe. He just shook his head. While you're thinking, I'm just going to keep going. While you're thinking. What was I?

What were we? Well, I think you were saying that. I don't know what you're saying. Me neither. Someone says something. Oh, yeah. So I do think that there is a place to say, Hey, if you are a victim out there, if you're a transgender kid and you were thinking about killing yourself,

there is value. There's value to seeing really cool people, actors that you look up to saying, Hey dude, it's okay. You're not a freak or it's okay to be who you are. Cause that's the truth of who you are and feel empowered. Like I get that. I can't wait until it's no longer an issue. So then we can start figuring out which one of these transgender people are just dummies that happen to be transgender. Which one of these gay people are just dummies that happen to be gay. There's a lot of that where people get free rides just because they're from a marginalized group.

It's not just that. And they're annoying. But they're a part of this whole thing. A hundred percent. A lot of the duh, a lot of the real duh is just coming from dummies that support a great cause. And they have a voice. And that's a big problem with the whole social justice warrior movement, is that a lot of it is just really fucked up socially retarded people. I'll add something to it.

And those people have found an area in which, if you support this area area you can be the biggest cunt in the world Supporting that area you could be fucking horrendous to people rude to people try to destroy people's lives as long as you're doing within the confines and the parameters of that cause and I don't Buy it well. I think those are just terrible people I was being those people people that found a good cause to be specific to be specific I don't know they have a voice you can call's terrible people that found a good cause. But to be specific, I don't even think it's about – You can call them terrible people. I think people like that are way less interested in the actual cause.

They're way more interested in power. Yeah, 100%. And you see that. You see people who, whether they're in Greenpeace or whatever, they just are not satisfied with winning a victory. They are more interested in demonizing and controlling another group of people. I also think, going back to the Oscars, yes, there's no black people nominated.

Could it just be that all the white people had great movies that year? Maybe they never got the major roles, which is an issue, but it just so happens this year, all the great movies, all the great actors happen to be white, so you just chalk it up as that. I don't think Hollywood's racist. It's a clever move, though, because Hollywood, they're such pussies that once you do have protests like this and say, Oscar's so white, they're going to fucking panic now.

It's going to be all black next year. Oh, well, also what they're going to, like the type of movies that are going to get made, they're going to try to make movies for- Tyler Perry's like, yes. No, no, that's are going to get made. They're going to try to make movies for- Tyler Perry's like, yes. No, no, that's not going to work. But they're going to try to make really diversity-oriented movies. Already are. It's going to be a bigger deal.

Of course, yeah. But it's all artificial. So this is like an adolescent stage. So we'll get through the stage. And then it'll just be quality. There's no denying Denzel Washington is one of the greatest actors of all time. You don't give a fuck if he's black or if he's white. He's fucking Spectacular rubber downy jr.. When he went blackface still great

Shouldn't even talk you can do that today Tropic Thunder if you try to do that today, you could you can do it. You can do it I'm saying he was great. That's right. I forgot he did that and he was really amazing It was amazing. You can't do that. I'm saying he was a great That's right I forgot he did that He was amazing in it You never go full retard Some of the greatest lines in any movie ever It was brilliant That's a funny fucking movie man Eddie Bravo and I were just rambling We were talking about On the Companion

That's right I've talked about that movie like 10 times over the last year It's a spectacular movie That you couldn't make today. All I'm saying is it doesn't matter if Robert Jr. plays black guy, white guy. He's brilliant, man. Can you still play a Chinese guy? Could you still do like, remember when they used to, what was the Charlie Chan?

Charlie Chan was a white guy that they pretended was Chinese. No, I don't think you could. And I'll tell you something else. He dressed up like a Native American and we Instagrammed a picture for this sketch that we're doing. All these social justice warriors. You got some shit from that. and I answered some of them. I was like, listen, man.

It's ethnic misappropriation. They're like, I hope you know how ridiculous you look. Like, bitch, you got a Tesla. What are you talking about? You're not a real Indian. What are you talking about? Yeah, I saw one of the Kardashians had a photo of her in some Native American outfit, like a Pocahontas-type outfit for Halloween.

Probably looks hot. Probably hot as fuck. But just fucking... All the... All the hate. Well, people want... Who are you standing up for? Who are you standing up for, too?

People want any reason to fucking hate. Native Americans do not understand what cultural misappropriation is. You don't because you have white privilege. Okay? First of all, you should just shut the fuck up and listen. This is a big thing. A big thing that they like to do.

If someone of color is speaking, shut the fuck up and listen. Wow. I am noble and I am progressive. And I want you to shut the fuck up and listen. It's a big thing. If a woman is talking about women's issues, how about we shut the fuck up, guys? How about you guys, you men, just shut the fuck up? You men?

But the thing is, when I posted the Indian video, you don't even know the context. So for you to jump on there and be like, this is offensive. Bitch, you're white. You don't know the context. It was also traditional garb. It actually was very historically accurate. I don't give a fuck if it's fake as fuck. Do you ever listen to-

It's a character. Do you ever watch the YouTube videos from The mayor the amazing atheist now amazing atheist is great He's been on the podcast before too. He's fucking great. His videos are amazing and because it's amazing But he had one the other day about how feminists hate when you use the phrase not all men Because they want you to somehow or another be guilty for the actions of all men So if guys say whoa, whoa, not all men rape. Like, I don't rape. Stop saying all men.

Stop categorizing all men. Which is fair. Which is totally fair. But he does this whole thing on this article. It's some woman who's a crazy feminist who, by the way, I went to her page. I'm blocked. I love when I don't even know anybody. I'm blocked on their Twitter page.

She knew your ass was going to try coming after her. One of my favorite things. No, you use these block programs. anybody who might have any remotely controversial view. Gosh, are big. Oh, really? Yes. She's insulating. You're probably blocked, too.

Insulating herself. But his fucking video on it is sensational. He does such a good job of covering all the points. He's self-deprecating. He's funny. Yeah, he's got really good fucking points. And he's got a bunch. I've been on a binge watch of some of his videos lately. He's excellent. Yeah. He's got really good fucking points. And he's got a bunch. I've been on a binge watch of some of his videos lately.

He's excellent. I'll definitely watch them. I'll watch them. But this one like just skewers this, the feminist ideology that you're supposed to just feel guilty for the actions of men that have done horrible things when you haven't done a goddamn thing. Right. But it's like, what it is is they have this, this ability to demonize and they don't want to lose it. You know, they can call up and they use. It's like, what it is, is they have this ability to demonize and they don't want to lose it.

You know, they can call up and they use fake statistics like one in four women has been raped. That was that, Christine Summers on your podcast exposed that. Exactly. That gender study guy from Arizona, I think, or a woman from Arizona was the one who said that. And she didn't have any, it was a shoddy experiment. It was bullshit. And it was also, they redefined what sexual assault and rape is to include regret. That's right.

Which is outrageous. And also alcohol. If you've had sex while inebriated. So if you had sex, even if you had sex. They've kind of abandoned that. They've kind of abandoned that, by the way. But feminists were riding that hard to the point where some feminists wrote a blog about it. Like, if you have had sex while drunk, you've raped somebody.

I remember. What? They were saying women don't have sex with your man if your man's drunk because he can't consent. Like, listen. Fuck you. Can I just sign a paper where you can suck my dick when I'm drunk? Yeah. Is there any way I can just text you approval?

You can't consent right now. Trust me. We're going to be okay. Trust me. I am ready to go. I will sign whatever you want. I would like to find the guy that has ever sued or taken a woman to court or tried to call the cops because he was drunk and a girl fucked him. I want to find that guy.

How dare you? Can't be my friend. There was a story a guy wrote, an article I remember about 10 years ago in the New York Times, and he was talking about being a battered male. And his girl beat him up. It does happen, though. Of course it does. No, for sure. It's a shame.

He went to the cops three times and the cops were like this. They were like- Man up. Man up, bro. They were like, they would all snicker. Is this in New York? Yeah, it's in New York City. Yeah, go to a New York cop and tell me you're getting bullied by chicks.

What's funny is that was one of the subjects of The Amazing Atheist. His name's TJ. One of the things that he brought up was that he used to work with this woman who used to sexually assault him. Like, TJ's like a big sort of like outside of doing his YouTube videos. He's, you know, kind of an introverted guy a little bit. Yeah. And he worked at this place and this woman who was an older woman and she was his boss. She was always grabbing his ass and fucking with him.

It's funny when it happens to a guy. It happens to a girl, it's terrible. For a guy, to me, it's hilarious. He watches him, she's all, hey, sugar tits, why don't you get over here? To me, that's hilarious. There's nothing she could do to him that I would press charges on. Yeah, I'm confused. I would laugh it off.

I would literally laugh it off. Deal with it, bro. I'm confused. I'm confused. I'm confused. There's so much confusion with so many of these subjects. When I was 14, if an older woman took advantage of me, I would have been A-okay. Yeah, but if she was your boss and she was gross. Huh?

If she was your boss and she was gross. And I think he was like 20. I think he was a young guy. Yeah, suck it up. Yeah, but you're a different guy, too. Like, if you're like an emotionally less- Introverted. Yeah, more you're a different guy, too. Like, if you're, like, an emotionally less introverted, more introverted, a little less stable. It's just different for women, man.

The guy's stronger. The guy gets inside your body. It's a thousand times different. No doubt about it. She's not gonna hold him down. No doubt about it. But it's like saying murder is really bad, so don't go... I mean, if someone punches someone, it's no big deal. But it is. Like, getting knocked out is not as bad as getting stabbed and murdered.

Right. But it's still not good for you. Right. So his position of being sexually assaulted by that woman is not as bad. I don't know why that's funny to me. It was reversed. I know it's fucked up. It is.

And I have a weird mind. But it's hilarious to me. Him at night dreading going into work. And he walks in. Hey, fucking sugar dick. You know, just harass him nonstop. Yeah. What's even more funny is you being callous about this with a mouthful of elk.

Just chewing it down, mocking this guy. How dare you, bro? I think it's fucking funny. Come on, pussy. It is weird. And the other thing that's weird is, like, I don't have any sympathy for these fucking 16-year-old kids where their teacher blows them. You know, when they get in gangbangs with a hot blonde teacher. What fucking school is this?

You'll be fine. Thanks, Aurora Hills. Where was my dick, son? The real problem is the one pussy that falls in love with her. That's the real problem. I know. That's what happens. He fucks it up for everyone.

He ruins the gangbang. Because then he starts telling everyone. Baby, you're fucking out of my group. Yeah. He's like, if I can't have you, no one can have you. I like the courts, too. It's just this hot-ass teacher. Oh, my God.

Like, this poor kid, you've terrorized him. One of the teachers was pretty, right? One of the teachers was hot. One of them? There's a whole list of them. Jamie, let me see some of these. There's a website dedicated to hot teachers that have fucked their kids. Really?

Yeah. My teachers were warlocks, son. I had nothing. Yeah. It's nothing. I can't remember a single hot teacher that I had all through my years. I had a kindergarten, first grade Miss Famuaro smoke show. There was a dude that was a handsome guy that was a Spanish teacher, and I think he was

like, oh my God. What? Whoa, she's hot as fuck. Free that woman right now. I will pay her bail right now. How much time is she doing? What does it say? Where's she going to jail?

She's 17. Can we get rid of her? He was 17? Between 14 and 17 years. Oh, whatever. Went free on bail but was tried for oral. She was 23. She was blowing a new guy.

She went free on bail. She got free on bail and was blowing more people? Oh, copulation. She's a freak. Look, there's some girls. Oh, well, a little thick. Not really. I like big titties.

Me too. I like to see them. Speak for yourself. Big old titties. Dude, look at these fucking, what fucking school is this? Dirty bitch school. They're gorgeous. God damn it.

Not in Denver, Colorado. Yeah, there's a lot of hot ones, man. Leave her alone. A lot of hot ones. Free them. Free them. You know, also, a lot of these guys, they're like really good at seducing older women. And they're good looking dudes, probably.

Young, handsome fella. She's 25-year-old, had sex with 18-yearucing older women. And they're good-looking dudes, probably. Young, handsome fellas. She's a 25-year-old, had sex with an 18-year-old. I don't see a problem with it. Me neither. If he's 18, was he 18? Yeah, he's 18, had sex with an 18-year-old male student. How is that even illegal? Because she's a Spanish teacher.

The age of consent in Texas is 18. The age of consent, it says 18. But a law forbidding teachers from having sexual relationships with students, regardless of their age. Whatever. Quit your job, bitch. Suck this dick. The grand jury refused to find her guilty.

The grand jury refused to find her guilty, though. It's all good. Yeah, for sure stop teaching Spanish and just go suck his dick. She's only seven years older than him. He's probably giving that good 18-year-old dick just cardio for days. Hard as a diamond. Can't even believe he's fucking trying his Spanish.

Hola. Do you imagine, remember things that you would do when you were like a young teenager? We couldn't even believe you were doing them while you were doing them. Is this real life? Yeah, like the first time I had an actual sexual relationship with a girlfriend I remember like we would be having sex and like is this what I yeah, yeah We really get to have sex. Yeah, you like holy fuck Like, holy fuck. I'm really doing this?

Is it in her mouth? I thought about this for 18 years. I'm coming in her mouth right now. When I was 16, I had sex with an older girl. And I was like, this is unbelievable. And I would come and stay hard. Yeah, it's crazy that you get used to it. You get used to it.

It's like, yeah, we're going to have sex. Just like anything. It becomes normal. It becomes normal. You know, there's only one time in my entire life where my ears rang when I came. And that was when I was in high school. My girlfriend at the time blew me on a porch. What?

We're on a porch. She blew me up. That's aggressive. I changed the shape of her head when I came in her mouth. Her head became like one of those Peruvian children that they find. They've had their fucking head clamped in one of those skull-shaping machines. She looked like Doug. I can't believe how hard I came and my ears went. The ultimate orgasm.

And I remember thinking, whoa, is this going to happen every time? Never happened again. Is she okay? Were you like, are you okay? To this day, I'm 48 years old. This happened probably when I was 16. To this day, I think, man, if I just don't jerk off for a couple weeks, maybe I can get back there again.

You're trying to get back to that super soaker cum? I don't have the willpower. You want to be young forever. I can quit gluten. I can get on that primal diet. No keto. I'm not going to stop shooting loads. No way.

I guess I'm just not. No. You know what the problem is? It becomes too confusing. It's like the same way I feel about exercise. Like if someone said, I'll give you $10 million for exercise for a year. I can't do it. I go, you can fucking keep your $10 million.

I'm not going to have a year of suffering just for some money that I'm going to spend. I'd be miserable. I can't do it. And I feel the same way about jerking off. I think in a lot of ways, jerking off is like a type of exercise because it exercises your reproductive system so it's not constantly ramped up. You know, I've always felt like there's a lot of confusion that comes with being horny.

There's these guys on the couch right now in their sweatsuits. Yeah, Rogan, fucking tell them, man. It's exercise. Do it, brother. Fucking yeah, man. We're all in this together. It's exercise. It's so good for you.

I fucking told you, mom. You got to come. You got to get it out of your body because if you don't it pulls up and then your body starts getting desperate and lowers your testosterone not only that your mind starts getting desperate and you start getting like like I remember I went on a dry spell when I was just out of high school I was a fucking complete total loser from 17 to like 18 like some graduating year dude I was a fucking loser. I didn't have nothing going on. No money.

Couldn't get laid. No, I had no money. No girl can give a fuck about Taekwondo. You were just wheel kicking and jacking off. That's all I was doing. And I was so sad. I couldn't get laid. Damn.

I could not get laid. It took forever. And when I did get laid, I finally did get laid after six months. I didn't even stick it in. I like barely got in. I was like, whoa! Yep. And I just was like, God finally did get laid after six months. I didn't even stick it in. I barely got in. Yeah. I was like, whoa. Yep. And I just was like, God, what a fucking loser I am.

But I remember the desperate feeling, the desperate nature of it. And then I started regularly beating off. That's when I started regularly beating off. Because I was just like, I had a girlfriend when I was 16. I swear to God, I got laid before I beat off and people think that's a lie it is not a lot it's weird though I didn't start crazy I started beating off when I was five and I'm not kidding I wish I knew about it nobody talked to me I wish I figured out like oh you get some Vaseline and you fuck this is great not me as a kid I used to rub it

into the bed that's all I had you want that waterproof dick i like it looks freshly waxed yeah it's just clean fucking dude some moisture i remember being maybe fifth or sixth grade and just having a boner in my sweats just being like oh how do i get rid of this thing i had no idea i was hiking and just pulsating just fucking jerk me jerk me but happen to me now when i'm fucking i'm hiking and i'm thinking about something dirty and all of a sudden I'm like, if somebody walks by me right now, I'm going to be a lone guy on a trail with a heart on it. They say guys think of sex something like every three seconds. Some girls do too.

There's a lot of freak girls out there. Me too, bitch. But my point being that one of my problems was I wasn't jerking off, so I was desperate. That's crazy. I was desperate. You're probably uber aggressive too. I smelled of desperation. I'm sure I was desperate. That's crazy. I was desperate. You're probably uber-aggressive, too. I smelled of desperation, I'm sure. I was pathetic.

The girls could smell it. No, man, I was a loser. I was a loser. I was living with my parents. I didn't have a future. Just throwing wheel kicks. I had nothing going on. I'd won the state championships like one year.

I might not have even won it then, because I first won it when I was 18. So I had no real accomplishments. I remember those days. You're lost. So who was the girl who was like, I'll suck your dick, Joe. Well, she's had sex with me. I don't think she blew me.

She jerked me off a couple times before we actually had sex. And where'd you meet her? Local girl. Just randomly? Yeah, her name was Donna. Nice girl. Because now kids can go on Instagram, Facebook, right? It's so much easier. It's so much easier to get chicks now. Oh, my God. It's her name was Donna. Nice girl. Because now kids can go on Instagram, Facebook, right? It's so much easier. It's so much easier

to get chicks now. Oh my god. It's also way more dangerous. It's way more dangerous. But back in the day, especially when you were a kid, it was just, you know, you met the girl and it's whatever. Tinder? If a girl had herpes, boy, they put a red flag on her. They made her walk around with a flag. Like, people knew. People knew when people had things.

Tinder now. Tinder. It's like, I see these guys on Bumble and Twitter. It's fucking... If a hot girl can go, I like that guy, DM. God damn, son. Yeah, if you want to get laid today and you're a guy, all you have to do is have a phone. And you have to be, like, not totally disgusting. Yeah.

Or have really low standards. Or be 49 with two kids and a wife. What? That can make it tough. What happened, guys? What did wife what that can be my little bit of a roadblock you gotta learn about Russians yeah yeah but then then you go to Russia no you go to Russia just go on vacation and you can or Costa Rica or Thailand maybe go to Costa Rica try not getting your dick suck even when you don't want to try not to yeah just good luck there's do it just it's one that's what

they do it's what they it's cultural you can't be rude You are a misappropriating blowjob culture from other countries or the third world whatever were they drunk indigenous people Yeah, gonna say all the key buzzwords. Sorry. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, but I believe you one day One day we'll all be single and free that's right old as fucking girls which we get a timeshare dude the three of us Hey the house of wrinkles girls come on over Well, there's gonna be something there's gonna be some massive breakthrough you think so within the neck I know so I know there's a massive breakthrough The same guy who came up with Regenerkeen is working right now. That's going to regenerate collagen in your body. Yeah.

In a crazy way where it's going to eliminate wrinkles. Come on. So we'll never age? Well, you're going to age. You're going to fucking die. You're just going to look good when you're dead. That's awesome. Yeah.

But if you can keep your muscle structure and then they shoot that fucking shit in your body that regenerates collagen. How long are we thinking? Well, you don't know because there's all sorts of different things they're constantly working on. So what we're talking about is what they have in 2016. What they have in 2016 will be unrecognizable in 2026 because it'll be on such a higher level. It's all exponential because every single invention and every single technological breakthrough and every single medical breakthrough, they all converge together and they all build on each other and new technological breakthroughs make new medical breakthroughs possible new understanding of the body makes new new designs and new things and then there's gonna be all sorts of different like

they just came up with some fucking lens that they're installing in people that is allowing people that weren't able to see before now they can see and have him new stem cell operations. They've done it on people. Oh my God. What they're doing now is just the tip of the iceberg. If we could just stay alive, if humans, I mean as a race, can stay alive for the next thousand years, what are we going to be like?

We'll outdate this machinery. This biological machinery that we live in now is an older, it's a shitty machine. Well, you guys better hope the next 50 years they come up with some shit. Or not, man. You guys got about 50 years. I don't know, man. I don't know if you really want to be on a planet where everyone can breed and no one dies.

Well, not only that, follow this. What if you can download all the information in your brain, right? You have to start killing people like pigs. So what does that say about accomplishment? If you could download how to be everything you wanted to be. If you could take a program- Oh, did you see you see that recently no I haven't seen that no oh my god to pull that up Jamie what scientists have figured out a way they are very confident that they were going they're going to be able to download

skills into your brain that's us like the fucking matrix fucks us they're gonna be a little information and skills into your brain no one special anymore well not not always no one special no one's special anymore. Well, not always no one's special. No one's going to look any different. Everyone's going to look like fucking John Cena. Oh, I don't want to be around for that. I don't want to be around for that. What does that end like?

We're all going to have flat tops? What does that have thighs for wrists? But I have to believe that there's a reason we're being nudged in that direction. Scientists discover how to upload knowledge to your brain. Look at this poor girl as the guinea pig. Strap in, folks. Strap in. I mean, we're just at the beginning of this thing.

Jesus. This is nuts, man. Everything that's in the Matrix is all going to be true. Artificial reality, whether or not it's going to take over the world like the Matrix, we're all going to be locked into some fucking machine that feeds off your spine. That's probably not going to happen. But what is definitely going to happen is virtual reality is going to be indistinguishable from regular reality.

I always leave scared when we do these podcasts. Well, it's not scary, but it's fascinating. It's a little scary, Joe. It's fascinating. But here's the thing. Here's why you shouldn't be scared. Why? Because anybody who's ever lived ever, at any time, you can go back to you know go go back to rome and grab julius caesar

and take him to 2016 he would be like you gotta be fucking shitting me any guy who lived the best life in the world hundreds of years ago or a thousand years ago would be nothing in comparison today you if you had to go back okay if you had to go back and you had to live, like, in Leonardo da Vinci's town, you'd want to fucking climb up on top of a windmill and jump the fuck off. You'd be like, what? I'm gonna eat this shitty bread and we're all gonna

die of polio? Get ready for the smallpox epidemic. Or anything. Anytime a rat's in town, everybody has to run. The fucking fleas. I mean, you gotta Anytime a rat's in town, everybody has to run. The body plague. The fucking fleas. I mean, you've got to figure out a way to not die. You didn't even know that it was that.

They didn't know anything. There was witch's curses and shit. They didn't know what the fuck was going on. Or you could go back and be awesome. You could. If you knew what you know now. Yeah, that's true. I start drawing shit.

But human beings will evolve with their technology. Casso, like, oh shit, you heard of shop? Yeah. Know what you would do? You would go back and start, you know, one day we're going to have a thing called a microwave oven and they'd say, he's a witch. Light him on fire. Yeah, they might kill me.

Yeah. Cell phones. That's what he fought with swords too. And you had to be a badass. You know, I don't know if it favors a big man. It favors the fastest guy. Swords are no joke. Swords definitely don't favor a big person.

Right. They favor someone who's strong enough to swing the sword as fast as possible. It's probably like a weight that you, like any, there's like a point of diminishing returns probably with sword fighting. It's pretty final, sword fighting. It's not so fun. It's pretty final. You don't walk away from a bloody throat. There's no ERs back then.

But what's interesting is Musashi was a big man. Miyamoto Musashi was not a small man. How big? He was thick. Well, for, it's hard to tell because, you know, what they measured, I mean, I think they probably didn't use inches. I don't know what the fuck they used. He's described as being, I think, thick though, like big balls. Do you know how small people were though?

You know we had a president, I forget which president, but he was 5'4 and he weighed 100 pounds. Was it Taft? I think it might have been Taft. No, Taft was big. Taft was the big giant guy? Taft was the big fat guy. Because when I made fun of you saying there's no fat presidents, people sent me pictures of Taft. So I was reading this book

with my kid the other day. And it's all about presidents and weird facts about presidents. But one of the guys was 100 pounds. So he's half my size. Tiny little dude. That's like a hobbit. Running the dude. That's like a hobbit. Running the fucking.

That's like Christy Mack. Yeah. Well, I doubt he had that ass. She's probably 110. Smallest U.S. president. He's 5'4". 100 pounds. Smallest U.S. president.

Who is it? James Madison. Ah. I should have known that. That's right. I didn't even know he was president until I was reading my daughter's book. Madison was one of the authors of the Federalist Papers. How many presidents can you name?

I can name maybe five. Maybe five to ten. Who was our third president? Some douchebag. Jefferson. Okay, how about Lincoln? Was he 16? George Washington was number one.

Who was number two? Nobody gives a fuck because nobody cares about number two. He's the first loser. He's Alexander Hampton. That doesn't work that way. Yeah, it doesn't work that way. He's not a loser. He was Alexander Hampton. He was number one. Who was number two? Nobody gives a fuck because nobody cares about number two. He's the first loser. It's Alexander Hamilton. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way. He's not a loser. It was Alexander Hamilton.

He was a winner. He was a new president. James Madison. Wait, it was Alexander Hamilton, Jefferson, Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson. Didn't you major in history? Yeah. You know who we really dismiss? One-term presidents.

Yeah. Wasn't Hamilton the guy that was terrible and he was getting all his fucking friends jobs and he was really corrupt and literally wound up saying, I'm not fit for this job? I don't think it was Hamilton. He sounds pretty awesome. No, you're right. It wasn't Hamilton. It was someone else.

Final, whose quote was that? I was not fit for this job. One of the presidents. Harding? Harding was considered, I think it was Harding was considered the worst president. I think it's very handsome was considered the worst president because he was very handsome he was very good looking I think it was Warren Harding

and he was very handsome but he was a bad president he just was not a very smart guy I think he looked really presidential I heard JFK was just a fucking ladies man 3000 that's weird you really heard that

hey this is breaking news along with taking McGregor down Fucking ladies, man. Did you hear that? 3,000. That's weird. You really heard that? Oh, yeah. Yes. Hey, this is breaking news. Along with taking McGregor down, JFK got some bitches. Did you ever see his medical records and what a physical wreck he was? Oh, yeah. Treated for gonorrhea. Treated for all kinds of stuff. Yeah, it was Andrew Jackson.

Wow. Jackson was a guy who essentially was considered, first of all, he'd seen a lot of battle. He'd killed a lot of Native Americans. No, no, no. This is the wrong quote. That's not. Andrew Jackson was talking about being a great general and not being a great president. He had been shot in a duel

and he had a hole in his lung that would perforate at times. I'm obsessed with JFK. JFK had gonorrhea and all sorts of shit. Oh, yeah. He had terrible back problems. He was on so many drugs. Look it up. The New York Times ran a whole thing on it.

I couldn't believe his medical status. What was his back issue? From partying or what? He had a, I think it was a congenital. He fucked his back out. No. This fucking dude kept going. He just kept his back off from fucking girls.

No, no. We need to celebrate this guy. He wore a brace. He wore a body brace under his suit. From what, though? And he had to be in pools. He had some kind of degenerative disease, I think, of the back. Well, you threw out gonorrhea and herpes and stuff, too.

And he was treated for gonorrhea. His doctor treated for that. If you look at his medical records, it's pretty unbelievable. Well, when they treated you for gonorrhea, did they even get it back then? I mean, did they really... Penicillin, I think. They just stuck a big cat a runny nose. I mean, it's barely cured you.

A type of penicillin? I mean, what kind of fucking, what kind of like lab tests did they do back then? It's pretty easy to cure. Yeah. With antibiotics. Who knows what kind of shit this guy had. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, diseases are weird, man, because occasionally diseases come along and they're not exactly sure what you have. Yeah. Then they have to ask, where you where'd you go yeah and then they have to try to sort of narrow it down and test for a bunch of different things well they say this is an urban myth but the guy emailed this story to me where the girl comes goes the doctor she's got a rash on her face doctor's like what is going on here he couldn't figure out does the sample comes up and goes um can i ask you a question? He goes, you have

necritis on your face. You have bacteria that you get from dead bodies. Have you been around dead bodies? She goes, no. And he said, where'd you go? She goes, I was in Ireland. Did you hook up with anybody? He said, yeah, a guy in a bar. He goes, do you have his number? Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. Turns out the

guy worked in a morgue. And he was fucking bodies. She sucked that zombie dick? Okay, but is this- And she sucked his dick and got- And that's it. I was told that's an urban myth, but this is what the guy emailed me and told me the story. Jesus Christ.

It's a good story if it's true. Well, why don't- Let's go further. Then she started time traveling and went back to the time before she did it, and then there became two of her, and the two of her plotted to take over the world. He's making shit up at this point. Very possible. We don't know.

We don't know. It's a good story. It's a good story. But you've got to Google these things. Get on your goddamn phone. It makes sense. Hey, get your phone. Get squint.

Hold it far away from you so we can use our... My eyes are so bad now. They're so good at this distance. They're perfect. But then your phone... you're like this. Oh, right here. You're always like. Yeah, lucky I don't have to read my own fingerprints.

I don't know what the fuck's going on here. It's just a pink blush. Story is kind of legit, though. It makes sense. Sort of. Sort of makes sense. I can see it happening. It makes sense that dead bodies would have bacteria on them that would be eating the

dead body. And if you had any sort of an infection or cut on your mouth yeah or you didn't wash and it got into your system sure that makes sense very fucks dead bodies oh a lot of people yeah so it's been a real problem many many times in funeral homes yes i told you my acting teacher right when he came out his mother died he told the story his mother died. He told the story. His mother dies, fucking goes to see her body in the morgue, and the guy's coming out, putting his pants on, sweating. And he looked at the guy, and the guy looked at him, and he goes,

you fucked my mother. He didn't say it, but he knew it. He never said anything. The guy just ran out. Oh, I beat the fuck out of that guy. And he just went, fuck, that guy's dead. Why didn't he go check his mom's box? He did. Oh.

He did? Well, I don't know if he checked her box. He just was like... You gotta check the box. You gotta check that ass. Let me pull out my kit. Can you imagine? Let me put my kit out.

You'd have to kill someone. Well, maybe. And by the way, I don't think you'd do jail time for that. You would get a fine for... Oh, no. You're going to jail, son. No, no, no. No, no.

Huh? You're going to jail. There's a law about mishandling a dead body, but it's not really. There you go. It's a legend. It's a legend, yeah. It's been told over and over again for a long time. There you go.

For many of you. I was told that already. Scroll down and see if there's any possibility. See, scroll down. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, these are the same emails over and over and over again. Sounds like the girl got herpes from whatever reason and started fucking making stuff up. There's certain things that are supposed to be urban myths,

but you find out they're true. Charles Manson endorsing Trump is not false. Who cares what Charles Manson endorses? You know what's weird? The Trump guys who are putting fucking SS-style bands around their arms. Have you seen this shit? No, that's not good.

These idiots are taking bumper stickers, Trump bumper stickers, and they're wrapping them around their arms like Hitler arm bands. Jesus, man. That's a bad look. White people just get so wacky. Fucking white people, man. You know what it is? White people are a lot like the economy, the economy cyclical. White people are on an upswing. Right now, they're on an upswing.

I know. Everything was all good. Look at these guys. Look at these dipshits. These guys have fucking bumper stickers around their arm like Trump is the new Hitler. Eh, it's kind of macho. No, oh my god, it's not a bumper sticker. Some real Nazi shit.

Oh, wait, it says mostly false. I actually found this on Snopes without even knowing it was on Snopes. Okay, it's just two guys. Two young women were photographed wearing Nazi-style arms. Okay, you know what? They probably wanted us to talk to them. Okay, what's false? Hold on.

Scroll down. The two men were legitimate Trump supporters, and the use of Nazi armbands expressed their genuine political beliefs. So they really did it. That doesn't mean they're Nazis. What were they doing? Were they joking around? That doesn't mean they're Nazis.

What were they doing? Just wearing an armband. Fox News tweet that supporters of Republican presidential Donald Trump spotted in Florida rally, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not dissimilar. Okay, but what is it? What's really going on? Scroll down.

So what are they saying? The armband was one of many invoked of Nazi imagery. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Some Photoshopped it. What is it saying? What is it saying? How is it not true? However, it appeared that the initial tweet was sent without much verification as to whether

Trump armbands were a legitimate campaign. Memorabilia sported... You... You... You neuronically? Unironically. Oh. Unironically by dutiful supporters of the GOP presidential hopeful.

Not long after the image hit Twitter, hard users began pointing out that the Trump supporters looked awfully familiar. So who are they? Oh, they're jokes. They're comedians. Oh, they're comics. They keep showing up.

Political pranksters. Oh, they're just trying to fucking... All right. They win. They got us. They got us. Well, now we know. Well played.

People were sending that today, and I was like, what? Did you see when they grew a fucking dinosaur leg on a chicken? What? A real dinosaur leg? No. Yeah. God damn it. It begins.

Jurassic Park is going to fucking happen. It's coming. And I will be the first one there. I will be the first one there to see T-Rex. You are the ultimate American consumer. You'll be the first one there to see T-Rex. You are the ultimate American consumer. You'll be there with fresh Yeezys on. But yeah! A new hairdo.

Look at this. Synthetic DNA. You're going to create your own animal from your own imagination. Scientists have grown dinosaur legs on chicken for the first time. What in the fuck? What the fuck? How about you guys cure cancer? Yeah. How about you figure out a way to get salt out of How about you guys cure cancer? Yeah.

How about you figure out a way to get salt out of the ocean, you assholes? Yeah. Stop making dinosaurs. It's all part of it. Jesus. How about you help the ozone fuck a chicken with a dinosaur? It's all part of it. It is all part of it, right?

Of course. We shouldn't expect these guys to make better cell phones. No. They have a different field of study. They're not about that life. They're about chickens and dinosaurs. They're not about that life. Yeah, I ain't about that, dinosaurs. They're not about that life.

Yo, I ain't about that, bro. I ain't about that, bro. I'm about making dino legs on some pigeons and sheds. It's so ridiculous. That's someone's job. Dude, I'll tell you, when you watch chickens eat, you realize they're just dinosaurs. They're just little. They're little dinosaurs. They can't kill you, so they just deal with you.

When they can make dick cells, how big do you think guys are going to get? How much bigger are they? No one is going to have a little dick anymore, that's for sure. That's for sure. No one's just going to say, I'm pro to my natural dick. But how big are you going to get? How big is your dick going to get? How many guys?

Guys get weird. Without having surgery? Like, you just inject my dick? Yeah, if you can gene dope or whatever it is. I'll take four. You can grow dick cells. CRISPR. They're going to use CRISPR.

Yeah, CRISPR's badass. Yeah, your dick's going to be at least a foot long, and girls' pussies are going to grow. I'll take four. CRISPR. They're going to use CRISPR. Yeah, CRISPR is badass. Yeah, your dick's going to be at least a foot long and girls' pussies are going to grow. I had a whole bit about this. If they did come up with big dick pills, like those commercials that Ron Jeremy used to sell at 3 o'clock in the morning, if it was real, if those pills really

did make your dick bigger, it would be about 30 seconds before the first guy died of an overdose. I'm like, because no one's taken one pill. Hell, we always overdosed. How many gives me a stroke? Yeah, exactly. The problem is dicks would be so big, the vaginas would grow too, because people would still have to breed and they would evolve.

They'd have to adapt. I said they would turn into giant flying squirrel pussy people. They would just be able to, dudes with big dicks, they'd have them in shopping carts, they'd be chasing these girls to the top of cliffs, and the women would just leap to safety. Flying squirrels. Open their pussy up like a giant flying squirrel. Imagine what kind of weird shapes people are going to come into.

Now, what we're dealing with now is people that are starting to explore the possibility of modifying their body with tattoos or with piercings or weird shit. But once you can change the shape, you're going to lose the shape, you're going to lose the funny. You're going to lose personality in people. Yeah, it's not good, man.

I think people have variety, though, just because everybody has a different idea of what's beautiful. Everybody has a different idea of what they want. Someone's going to want to be the Hulk. You might have more variety. What guy's going to be like, no, I want to be 5'1", man. I like having a little dick. I want to keep these tits and small dick.

I want to look like Madison. You'll have less people who are longing for something, right? If you have an ability and the money. If it's fake, yeah. But there'll still be people left out because it's going to cost money. You're going to have tons of money. Do you think it'll be like reading? You know, like it used to be a long time ago that reading was a luxury that very few people could read.

And they couldn't afford books? Right. Now pretty much everybody could read. Anybody could get books. And not only that, you can get so much off the internet. It's free. You can get your access to information today is better than it's ever been before. Fuck a library.

What if your access to changing your body will follow a similar path? It doesn't mean we'll be happier. And it doesn't mean that we'll be more fulfilled, I would imagine. I think the responsibility to creating your own fulfillment will still remain. 100%. Unless they can make artificial happiness. God damn it, Joe. The problem is...

That'd be like being on drugs, right? Yeah. Well, the problem is what is happiness really based on? You're talking about ecstasy now, aren't you? I'm talking about ecstasy all day. If you were just rolling all day, but no negative repercussions. Can't get shit done. Sign me up.

Art wouldn't be created, right? What? Who needs art when you get your dick sucked while you're on ecstasy on a roller coaster? Art, son. How about you fly like an eagle you guys are fucking godless you know godless fucks my god is crisper yeah that's the new god because we're controlling our own evolution i wonder man i wonder what it's going to look like i mean it's going to change it's not going to just no one's ever going to go hey everybody let's just go camping let's stop all this right

we're not going to do that. Those dudes that are growing dinosaur legs and chickens. But the satisfaction you get from overcoming the impossible. It's almost as good as learning Kung Fu in the Matrix. That's actually better. But if someone can take the shortcut, don't you think the masses, if they can take the shortcut to doing that, they're not going to put the work in? If I can download it what i'm saying is that there may be shortcuts in certain ass in certain areas but we'll still have challenges and you know i hope you're right yeah so if you're really good at something if you're really good at whatever you want to be i wonder if you know you know like

for example like what i like about tennis what you like about archery what you like about boxing whatever it is is the repetition and the state it puts you in and the slow attrition of a skill set is immensely satisfying, right? I wonder if you can just do it right away. I wonder if all the fun goes away. That's a very good point. It's no more a mystery. It's not a mystery. You're not learning anything.

Because when you're hitting a ball really well or you're boxing really well one day and you know you go – You have a goal. Yeah, and you go, today I hit it. And if you don't have something to compare that to, I think what happens is you end up being generally copacetic. Probably. And I wonder what it says about happiness. I would download skateboarding. Just a big ass dude skateboarding like Tony Hawk.

But I think who you are right now is based on what our ideas are right now about what people want and what people need and what makes us happy. One of the things that makes us happy is overcoming adversity, trying to figure out puzzles, trying to set goals and accomplishing them. Beating the odds. Setting goals and accomplishing them is one of the biggest sources of happiness. One of the things that people say, if you really want to be happy, you should have projects and you should set goals and you should try to accomplish those. And for whatever reason It's probably just some deep-seated evolutionary reason something that's in our DNA We we have this desire to achieve things and when we do achieve them It gives us a feeling of happiness and if you don't do that like the most regretful

Sorrowful depressed people rarely set goals and rarely achieve those set goals for whatever reason You know whether or not the create and they hate on others who are trying to achieve this people rarely set goals and rarely achieve those set goals for whatever reason, whether or not they're creative. And they hate on others who are trying to achieve those goals. So what it is, what we're doing kind of is like some sort of a weird balancing act with our ancient primate minds, right? So our ancient primate minds, which wanted to survive, they wanted to gather food, they wanted to figure out things like, how do I catch this fish?

How do I start a fire? know they figure out things like how do i catch this fish how do i how do i uh start a fire and all these different desires that we had to both breed protect our territory overcome and they they manifest themselves as like rewards and these human rewards are in our system and we we intrinsically link those rewards and in this system to life and this is the only way to live and this is the way we live because we've always lived like this but if we can completely remove ourselves from the biological process completely remove ourselves from the the lust and the greed and the what what do we become and is that actually a better way to live like maybe it's a good question but but i but i think

that you have to add you have to add another dimension to what you said, which is yes, there, there is that evolutionary notion of reward, um, that creates a feeling of, for example, safety and whatever it might be. Right. But I wonder also if the other reason that we seem to have this need to get better at something like, let's just say the violin or whatever it might be. I think that there's another thing that happens to you when you get really good at something, when you develop a deep skill. I think you get a better understanding of you.

Like you come closer to who you truly are in your essence. The notion that when you do something for the sake of its own doing which would be considered play that's how you would define probably play that's when you are the most authentic and truly yourself and i feel like human beings not only have a nostalgia like a built-in nostalgia to try to find who they were originally but i think also it's just my general idea that I wonder if because the internet is bringing us all together, and we're getting a deeper understanding of what it is to be each other in one way or another, and pretty soon if you can download not only information,

but what it's like to be Joe Rogan into my brain. Well, if that's bringing us all together, then I wonder if the end goal is something in the area of deep self-knowledge and deep knowledge, deep human knowledge. Sort of this creating this neural net. So we are all, sorry for the word, one. That seems to be. I don't know if that's a good thing. That spiritual dimension, that thing that's hard to measure, has always existed in human beings. We somehow always want, and I think it's where religion comes from, where inspiration comes from,

we seem to always want to reach beyond ourselves. What is that about? You think that's always going to be there, no matter what? I don't think it's always going to be there. I think it's going to be there if we're operating inside of the biological parameters that we currently have to operate inside of. You're saying if we can get out of there. That mystery will be taken away from us. What if they can eliminate greed?

The instinct of greed can be located in our genome and can be eliminated. I don't know if that's good. Exactly. It might be valuable. It creates greatness a lot of times. Jealousy might be valuable. It creates greatness a lot of times. Jealousy might be valuable too. Greed also may be that primordial need to amass as much food and as much safety and as much power so that you stay alive. The one thing we know is that human beings across the board love one thing above all, and that is immortality. They want to live forever. And that is immortality. Well, what I'm thinking is, what I'm thinking is a lot of our ideas,

a lot of our ideas of what was, it was valuable and what we want and what we need and what is just part of life. A lot of those ideas are only based on the current model of human. Exactly. That exists. Yeah. When they start manipulating shit and downloading new thoughts in your mind. And do you want to go like a fucking meditate in a,

in a, an ashram for 10 years and sweep up and just om all day in the corner? Or how about they just press a button and shoot some shit straight into your brain and you could read minds? You're going to take that. You're going to take like instant enlightenment. You're going to take the ability to transcend all of our biological impulses, including the dumb ones, like self-doubt and hate and jealousy. Like this is some really dumb. Exactly.

Yeah. That's the real thing. And even you can even like Ray Kurzweil, who created this sort of movement of Kurzweilists, the notion that, all right, we all say we're going to die. We all know human beings have one goal. It's to stay alive forever. It's why we do great work and we want it to live on we have children that's why we're so attached to our children if you and not necessarily true because we do because we enjoy it while we're doing well that too yeah 100 i don't think i don't do anything you have kids thinking you're

going to live on i don't think you make a name you don't make a painting no this will go on forever you have this idea in your head and you want to express yourself. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with you on that. But I just think that overall, if you looked at the general overarching sort of desire and need in a human being, it's probably we all want to live forever. We don't want to die. Well, I think it's just a fear of death. Yeah, it's more of a fear because that's unrealistic. But follow this. But follow this.

So if we can download our essence, if I could download everything that's in your brain, your memories and your paradigm, your thought paradigm, whatever the words are, and then I could put that into a computer or a robot, then you kind of keep living forever in a way, right? So what does that say about when you change, like whatever you are, if they download you and put you in a computer, are they going to have all your flaws? Is it going to be filled with all your insecurities? No, that's not right. Is it going to be a liar? Imagine if the computer becomes a liar. Imagine if the computer develops its own insecurities and starts coming, it changes who you are and starts going down its own weird emotional path. Those are programmed in. No, most likely you're going to program something where they're going to probably have to differentiate between what you are and what you love and what your memories are and all the negative stuff.

Well, part of what makes you great and your essence, in my opinion, all three of us, and I don't know Jamie well enough, but I'm sure, is our reaction. A big part of our personalities, in my opinion, is a reaction to our shortcomings. Is the compensation, the measures we've taken to compensate for our limitations. Well, not just that, your experiences. The trials and tribulations, the failures and successes, the struggle. The struggle defines your personality. You show me a guy who doesn't do anything, and I'll show you a guy who can't do anything. Right.

Yes. You show me a guy who's accomplished, or a woman who's accomplished all sorts of things. She can continue to accomplish things because she knows how to get shit done. She's also learned how to fail and be successful. She's come to terms. Anyone who's successful has failed so many times. Well, that's where wisdom comes from. Wisdom is the acknowledgement not only of your limitations,

but wisdom is also knowing what to do with those limitations. Until they fucking strap you to that machine and shove those fucking genius thoughts right into your dome, son. Isn't that the same as being high, though, all the time? Isn't that the same as keeping the DMT trip going forever? Well, the DMT trip removes reality as we know it. That's where it gets weird. It takes you to another dimension, right? Well, we don't know that.

It certainly feels like that. It could just be hallucinations. It could all be going on in your head. It's the best thing I've ever done. What you get from it, I didn't tattoo it on my arm for no reason. What you get from it is something that is exactly the same. Like someone say, maybe it's all in your head when you trip. Maybe it's not really happening.

Okay, maybe. However, the experience is exactly the same. If you really are going into another dimension, you really are experiencing love in its purest form and forgiveness and just 100% wisdom. Like all the bullshit and all the flaws of your thinking and all of the ridiculous aspects of the world around you revealed in some wonderful dance by jesters who are giving you the finger in a never-ending complex geometric pattern. Even if it's not real, it's still the same experience. Sure. Like if you really do go to that dimension and you really do experience these incredibly enlightened beings and they really do instill upon you wisdom and you really do hold on

to a few grains of that sand that slips through your finger, you hold on to a little bit of it while you're there. You got handfuls, but you just hold on to a little bit. It's still the same experience. Yeah, shit's real, son. Yeah, it's a little bit like you know what changed the way I Argue is that somebody said look you may think that that person's point of view is shitty Or you don't have respect for it, or they're there

Maybe they're acting crazy to them those feelings and emotions are very real So if you start the argument by saying like that's why if you look at like political discussions as country is hilarious You get gun rights advocates, and you have gun control advocates. The first thing they do is they go, you're a gun nut. And the other ones go, you're a bleeding heart liberal pussy. You start the argument there. And guess what? There's no, nobody's having a conversation anymore because you just said, I don't like you.

Atheists and religious people. Religious people. Feminazis, male rights, MRAs. Yes. and religious people. Religious people. Feminazis, male rights,

MRAs. Yes. You'll never have a marriage between the religious, you know, the people who are very religious and people who are strictly scientific because what happens is

instead of saying that religious person is religious and he gains inspiration and a feeling that's very important to that person

and they're going to guard that feeling because it makes them feel good about the world. If you come in as an atheist or a scientist and say everything about you is bullshit or that's a big fairy tale,

you just shut down the debate. You just broke that bridge. You're never going to see anything. You're not going to see that person for who they are. You're never going to understand what there is. Even if what they're experiencing or what they believe and what they have faith in is not real,

they still can get a tangible benefit from it. Exactly. And it can improve their life. And so it is real in a way, isn't it? Well, it is something that they believe in to the point where it benefits them. And it can create beautiful things, great pieces of work, art, whatever it might be. Well, that's my argument about Ben Carson. Like, Ben Carson might be a wacky dude who doesn't believe in evolution.

He's got some crazy ideas. But I like him as much as any of the other people that are running for president. Smart dude. He's not just smart dude. One of the best neurosurgeons ever. Okay? Not only that, he's really measured and relaxed and calm always, constantly.

He never gets too high or too emotional. Trump is yelling at someone the other day, go home and get a job. This is going to be our president. Go home and get a job. This is going to be our president. Go home and get a job. And all the fucking white dudes with golf shirts on. Yes! But he doesn't have his ideas. Where are his ideas?

I keep looking for his ideas. I'm hoping that once he becomes president, because he's going to become president, then he lets it go. Because what Ben Carson said about Trump that I thought was really fascinating, he says he's remarkably reasonable when he's not on camera. And Jeff Ross told me that too. Because Ben's endorsing him now. I don't think he's a dumb guy and

I think a lot of this might be an act. It's an act and it's working. I think you may see if he becomes president two things. One is he probably comes, he's not an ideologue. We go to war. World War IV. He's not an ideologue so he's going to do this. I think he will approach everything as a problem to be solved which is not a ideologue. Joe is. We go to war. World War IV. He's not an ideologue, so he's going to do this. I think he will approach everything as a problem to be solved, which is not a bad thing.

Secondly, don't be surprised if he surrounds himself with very competent, smart people. Oh, for sure. Who know more than he does. Those are the two silver linings I can see Trump coming to the table with. And hopefully- I don't like the guy, but- He breaks the system. Because the system because the system

of special interest groups and the need for the campaign financing, when you get a guy like him who doesn't, you really can't buy him. He doesn't benefit. Yeah.

He doesn't benefit. The problem with campaign finance reform is that with Citizens United, that Supreme Court decision, giving money to a political campaign is an exercise

of free speech, and it was considered constitutional. So it's very difficult to get big money out. But what I do think will happen, and you're seeing it already with people like Bernie Sanders and even Donald Trump, is that we as citizens will go, man, you have big, deep pockets, deep political pockets, and so you must be a little corrupt at least. I ain't voting for you. Well, there's transparency.

There's things like CrowdPack where you can go and find exactly who's financing people. CrowdPack, which my friend Steve Hilton runs, you go and check out. I mean, they've got, their website has all of the various campaign funds, all the people that are influencing people, all the special interest groups. Love it. Tight move. We gotta get the fuck out of here.

It's already 540. What? Come see us in Denver. Through, we flew through three hours. I love it. We really did. This is a good one.

Come see us. Comedy store tonight. Comedy store tonight. I'd like to point out that both you bitches peed twice. I never got up once. I know. You're like a cannibal.

Strong bladder. He's trained. I have trained it from doing this show. I drank four cups of coffee sitting here and a bottle of kombucha. You're a gangster. I know. You're like a cannibal. Strong bladder. I have trained it from doing this show. I drank four cups of coffee sitting here and a bottle of kombucha. You're a gangster. I'm not bragging. Just probably I can hold up a lot of piss. Comedy Works, March 18th, March 19th.

It's my B-Day. Actually, I am bragging about my ability to hold in piss. It's impressive, though. It's like a baby camel. Rogan and I will be at the Comedy Store tonight. Tonight. Tonight. With Theo Vaughn, Brent Ernst, and it's for a good cause, right?

What is it for? Spinal cord. Spinal cord injury. Yeah, spinal cord injury, so come by. How much of the money goes towards it? All of it. Literally all of it. Okay, all of it.

Yes. Beautiful. But mine? I get mine? You get all your money, buddy. Yeah, dude. All your money. No, I'm just kidding.

I love you, Joe Rogan. Do it for charity. So that's tonight at 8 o'clock, right? Mm-hmm. And Theo Vaughn, very hilarious guy. Comedy Store. Main room. Brent Ernst, hilarious guy.

Brian Cowan, hilarious. And I do my best all right so that's tonight yeah um and that's it all right we'll be back tomorrow with Greg Fitzsimmons and also Thursday night I'll be at the improv for Greg Fitzsimmons St. Patrick's Day extravaganza we'll be talking about that tomorrow too all right thank you everybody love you guys byebye. And 20 million downloads.