The Joe Rogan Experience - #784 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: April 13, 2016

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network. Check out his newest podcast called "What Brian Redban Do" at http://deathsquad.tv & on Spotify under "Deathsquad"

Yes! Before we even get started, I gotta give a shout out to this dude Aaron. Where is it? Where's the, not that, but he gave us that, but the other thing, the white snake. Oh yeah, there it is. I told a story a long time ago about a car accident I got into when I had an older girlfriend that used to tell me what to do. She's pretty hot though. Stephanie, how are you? And she made me throw away this Whitesnake cassette after the car accident. I had a little box of cassettes

in my car, and she said, throw that out. And I fucking listened to her. What? So if you're in that situation right now, well, you're in a relationship, and the person you're with tells you what to do, and you go, fuck, man, I'm that bitch. Well, I was that bitch once, too. And I was bummed out, man, that I fucking threw out this Whitesnake CD.

Well, it was a cassette, rather. I didn't even have a CD player then. When did CDs come out officially? 90, 80, 88. I feel like we've done 88 we're trying to figure this out before we just don't it's just not worthy enough somewhere in the 80s right yeah early or late 80s i would say because i got my first one in i remember for my birthday when i was like 16 or something like that 17 so this had to be 88 because i know that after i broke up with her i started fighting again i took like a break

we broke up and then i had three more fights after i dated her so uh like kickboxing fights so i remember that year uh so it had to be 88 which was a lot 88 or 89 but fucking i love this cassette so that was that was like a real moment of for me you know there's moments when you have in relationships where you go fuck i can't be this guy i can't i can't just let someone tell me what to do and someone trying to change me like she was a very smart girl and she was older than me like she was 25 and i was 21 and i remember you know she's just smarter than me it was certainly at the time more worldly than me and uh i just fucking listened to her it's not good man don't you hate when you see your friends in those situations though

like you see the friends that are that always fight every week and they're always breaking up and they're it's yeah it's awful her defense, I was a fucking idiot. In her defense. So she was trying to shape me up. You know what? It was interesting. You know what I knew? I couldn't hang out with her anymore.

There was an incident at a comedy club that I've told before. I don't want to repeat it again because the person that I talked about in the Jamie Kilstein podcast, the person I was talking about is completely delusional in their perception of these events. So I don't want to even rehash who the original person was that I got in this dispute with, but I wound up walking off the stage because I was disgusted by how this professional comedian

was censoring people at an open mic night. And, um,hanie who's by the way awesome never anything but awesome she's a very cool person so i never hated her or anything but she you know she put me aside and she like kind of like lectured me she's like look if you want to do this if you want to do this then you have to really do it you can't walk off stage like that that's completely unprofessional and i'm like i'm not a professional i'm like i'm an amateur like yeah it's unprofessional i'm trying to learn how to do that and then i realized like that's not how you talk to people that are in your life that if you don't like what they're doing like you have there's there's got to be a better way of approaching it than that her way of approaching it was from like a mother perspective

like an authoritative perspective you know it was weird it was a weird relationship in that respect and when you see those relationships the problem is not i don't want to generalize but oftentimes in relationships the dynamic that the relationship begins with is the dynamic the relationship sticks with and if you get stuck in a relationship where one person is telling you what to do it very rarely goes back the other way and then you tell them what to do and then they listen it never does it's like you develop like a chief and the rest of the indians you know these are captain and then there's sailors and it's just the way it is man. I don't know why but with her like early on She assumed the role of the one who is like dictating what was okay and not okay

What kind of music I should like how I should dress it's real weird man, but again, she wasn't a bad person she was a 25 year old girl dating a 21 year old guy who was crazy and You know when girls are 25 feel, okay, what am I doing? Am I going to marry this guy? Am I going to have kids with this fucking idiot? I've got to shape him up. I've got to get him to stop listening to Whitesnake. I mean, I think I do that in almost every relationship, though.

Like, oh, yeah, she does this. Coincidentally, you often date, always date girls younger than you. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Always and never fixable. Like as hard as I try, not that fixable. 21 to 25 is, it doesn't seem that old, like for a guy to a girl. Again, I don't like to generalize, but I definitely think that girls mature quicker than guys. A hundred percent.

Oh yeah. I think that's common knowledge, right? Well, I've been trying's common knowledge right well i've been trying to figure out why i've been trying to figure out what it is periods man no i think it's ego i think it's ego i think men have spent so much time coddling the male ego worrying about this fucking girl fucking kick this guy's ass you know fuck that guy up like posturing and presenting themselves, especially when they're really young, as something better than they actually are. It's a big part of being a young man. Until you realize somewhere around your 30s, I guess, that nobody buys that. Nobody buys that.

When you're posturing and you're pretending to be someone other than you are, you're giving yourself some sort of weird comfort or trying to. But it's like sucking your thumb. It's not really effective. It's not really doing anything. Women don't have that. They don't have the I'll kick your ass. They don't have this guy. What does this guy think?

He's going to fuck my wife? You know, what does this guy think? He's going to take my job? What does this guy think? He's going to fucking move in next to me and put Up a fucking fence in front of my fuck. That's my fucking Men get this weird thing man. They get this weird Male thing and women don't get that thing they get different they get bitch things they get they get they get their own thing

You know they get they bitch at each other But it's not this is not not nearly as physical for the most part. It's much more likely that two men are going to throw bones than two girls. When two girls fight, it's like, holy shit. They went for it. They're physically trying to claw each other's eyes out. And usually at least one of them is out of their fucking minds. If you get two girls, obviously I'm not talking about martial arts competition, but if you get two girls involved in a street fight, at least one of them is out of their fucking minds. If you get two girls, obviously not talking about martial arts competition,

but if you get two girls involved in a street fight, at least one of them's out of their fucking mind. These are the best. Like two sane dudes under the right conditions with alcohol involved could beat the shit out of each other. It's very possible. Very possible, especially with alcohol involved. But two girls

pulling hair and club i would venture the vast majority of women out there have never been in a fistfight the vast majority 80 yeah i think that's a good number i think 80 is a good number probably not right so they i think they think they're, they're, you know, they have different, different things going on. And I think even if they want to be respected and they want to be appreciated, it's not the same as like the male thing, the male wanting to be respected, especially like a young man. It's very difficult to get over just the natural monkey instincts that boys have just those natural monkey instincts they're so goddamn distracting that i think it's maybe this is just the theory not even

biologically why women mature in general faster than men it might just be this the lack of the struggle with that male ego. Yeah. Brian? Any thoughts on the matter? Yeah. Do you ever have male instincts to bite a girl's neck when you're having sex with her? That kind of, it seems like you'd be somebody that would be like a neck biter you'd be really into. I do not want you beating off thinking about how I fuck,

so I will stop this conversation right here. You know what? It's different with different girls, right? Yeah. Isn't it? With different girls you've dated? Mm-hmm. Some girls like to get choked.

They just do. I hate all that. When a girl tells me to slap him or choke him, it's the worst. Sorry. I can't do it. I'm not going to beat you up. You're going to have to get that from somebody else. Yeah.

You're going to have to call Ari. Do you think the daddy thing, there's something there when girls are like, fuck me harder, daddy? When it's the whole daddy thing, do you think there's something to it? It's a dirty thing. Yeah, it's dirty. They don't mean their dad. They mean you. They want you to be their daddy in that moment.

Not even like a father, but like the daddy that's giving the dick. You know? They don't even think. It's like a different word it's a different use of the word daddy you know it doesn't mean the same thing it's like when you call someone captain sub captain right you don't really think that guy has a boat but what if they're following yeah i totally know but they say this one girl says it as a kid though and she doesn't talk like a kid in any other times except when she's having sex. And she's like, oh, daddy. She regresses into like, that has to be.

Yeah. Well, if she's dating you, yeah, I would assume some dark shit happened. Yeah, but see, I go deeper in it. I was like, yeah, you like daddy's dick, don't you? Are you late for school? Things like that. Do you do that while you're fucking her? Yeah, just to see.

Are you late for school? I mean, like, I'm going to try to go down that path. If she brings it up, I'll see if she plays along. And if she plays along, it's like fun. It's like trying to learn more about this person that I'm fucking. You know, it's even more disturbing saying, are you late for school? Because that means it's morning sex. Like, the dad doesn't even have the excuse of being drunk.

The guy just wakes up, has his coffee, and fucks his daughter. That is... God. Yeah. That's not good. Did you do your homework? Yeah, you need to find better people.

But, you know, you gotta work on yourself. Right, I know. Get your own shit in order and you'll attract people. I don't make a noise. I just don't... You just...

No. You just breathe? I slobber in their hair and I... I don't do anything. Do you still take those pills? You know, I stopped at when I started tripping. What should I explain?

Boner pills? Boner pills. The gas station boner pills. Gas station boner pills specifically. Brian has like some gas stations picked out in the valley that he travels to. Yeah. That have Chinese drugs in them that make your dick a totem pole. Yeah.

They're very sketchy. You can go to FDA.gov and see all the ingredients and all the ones they've tested. But I stopped doing it when I started tripping. Like, I actually saw visuals. I think I've talked about it on this. But recently, they've had new packaging where they're, like, holograms. And, like, they're awesome packaging. Like, it's a horse running or, like, Black Stallion is a good one. Here's a horse running or or uh but like black stallion it's a good one here's a

question how much you think it would cost us to randomly test the gas station pills that you take and then read the results on the air it probably have some right now that you've saved just packaging in my car okay about 30 different ones in my car but But you have the packages? Yeah. Okay. Set aside one package of each one that you really enjoy. Black Stallion. Yeah. Right now. I want to set these aside and I want to see how much it costs. I'll go through the U.S. the UFC labs, whatever they use.

I think they use, the Nevada State Athletic Commission I think uses Quest Diagnostics but they test blood. They test blood and urine. We can't do that, but we'll find out a place where we could send it to a lab to get the contents analyzed.

That's what the FDA has done, though. Well, Onnit's done it, so I'll just use whatever guys Onnit's done. But FDA has done it for these ones that you're taking? Yeah, yeah. But do you think they're consistent? Like, they're not the same every week. No, they change.

You can tell they change their ingredients sometimes. Like, I had one burst open in my mouth the other day, and it tasted like tea. But I've had it before in my mouth the other day, and it tasted like tea. But I've had it before where it burst open in my mouth, and it tasted like pills. You know, like inside of a pill. Like a chemical? Yeah. They're all powder inside?

Some of them are powder. The one that I had the other day was like a tea, almost like weed inside. But are any of them gels? No, they all seem to be like a powder inside. But these new ones, like the latest one, Black Stallion, where it has a hologram of a horse running, that one, legit, four days of boner solid. And I was really studying it the other day because it's just like every single pocket of shit on your dick is just full.

It's swollen. It's hard, though. It feels uncomfortable. It doesn't feel like your normal dick where it's like, oh, this is comfortable. Well, it's probably just a super high dose of Viagra. I don't think it's Viagra anymore. I think it used to be. I don't think this is Viagra.

I think this is some kind of reaction because it's like my dick is swollen up. It's got bit by a snake. It's powerful, powerful though man like and girls can tell immediately like like holy shit that's that you're killing me here so but when you're taking this stuff does it go down or do you have to like uh deal with a hard dick for hours no it's just on call but it's ready to rock yeah but when you wake up in the morning but when you wake up in the morning it's like it's a lot of times it's like p plus that it's like if you fuck a girl in the morning with a p boner mixed with that at the same time she's dead oh poor girl yeah poor lady why am i talking

about this because it's hilarious but you know what it's so weird that i do it though and it's only like if like if i'm with a new girl i'll be like you know what it's so weird that I do it though and it's only like if I'm with a new girl I'll be like you know what I'm going to really impress her tonight with this thick

snake venom dick and roses or just you know just that yeah you don't want to set too high a standard what's embarrassing though is I collect them

and and it's it looks like a crazy person if you go in my car right now and if I pulled out all the ones I had in my car, it looks like I'm crazy. Isn't it funny that crazy people will say, if you didn't know me, you think I'm crazy?

Isn't that funny? That's a funny thing people do. You would think I was crazy if you paid attention to everything I do and everything I said. But if we could test him within a reasonable financial range, we should totally if it costs a couple grand or something. FDA really has gone through a lot of it. Most of it, though, has been steroids.

Like a lot of them have had small amounts of steroids in it. I was wondering when you were saying that you hallucinated, if it was bath salts. Dude, I had to do a set. I was in Tempe Improv, or no, Stand Up Live in Arizona. I took some before then, and I was with Tony Hinchcliffe, and I was telling Tony, I was like, man,

I don't know if I can go on stage. I am seeing trails right now. I had to go on stage tripping, and I talked about it on stage. I'm sorry if I'm crazy right now. You guys are all swirls and stuff, but that's how bad it was. I couldn't see shit.

So that's when I kind of stopped my fun hobby. Damn, dude. That's so dangerous. You're just rolling the dice that these people in this gas station laboratory are not going to kill you. Yeah. And what's crazy, a couple of them, I tried to find more information about the companies that make it. Oh, good luck. They don't exist.

Shadow governments in the Philippines. Yeah. Well, good luck. They don't exist. Shadow governments in the Philippines. Yeah. Well, this is my question. Like, do they have an ingredients? Like, does it say? Like, you look at the package, it says what's in there? No. Well, it does.

It does, but you can tell it's not what it is. But what does it say on the package? Should I run to my car real quick and get a couple? Fuck yeah. Go get one. We're going to talk shit about you while you're gone. No! He's so ridiculous.

Do you know anybody else that takes those things? The only thing I've ever... I've taken something, not like boner pill, but I remember taking like bumblebee or black, something like that. It's like a caffeine pill. Before I go on stage, me and my friends, we would take them, like jack ourselves up before a concert.

We feel like we're going to have a heart attack. Yeah, like it was probably like rip fuel, like that kind of stuff, a Fedra or something like that. But it was bad for us too, we would take them, like, jack ourselves up before a concert. We feel like we're going to have a heart attack. Yeah, like, it was probably, like, rip fuel. Yeah. Like that kind of stuff. A Fedra or something like that. But it was bad for us, too, we knew. Those were horrible for you. But, see, those things, at least other people were taking them.

Who the fuck do you know that's taking them? He's a pioneer in gas station boner pills. I mean, the dude's out there like David Crockett. He's setting a standard, and he is. It's just such a ridiculous thing to want to put in your body when the alternative exists. Like you could go to an actual doctor and say, I have a hard time getting an erection. He'll prescribe you Viagra. We all know that doesn't kill you.

Maybe this is the weed of boner pills. It's easy to get. You can get it anywhere. That's true. It definitely is that. You don't have to go to a doctor. Yeah, that's what I mean's what i mean well you used to not have to go to doctors for stuff you used to be able to get things through canadian pharmacies canadian pharmacies would just send you drugs it was like the big loophole how do people get you can get like that new vigil stuff you can get free samples online or something i've seen i don't know how you get it well yeah

i don't know new vigils a little different, yeah. I don't know. New Vigil's a little different. Or maybe one version of it. Pro Vigil or New Vigil. I know for sure I've read guys posting on message boards saying that they bought that stuff somewhere online. I think it was the Underground. Yeah, you can buy it from this weird India. So that's one of the new ones. So this is Rhino 2. This is the one with the hologram.

You're not going to be able to probably pick that up. It's Rhino 11 because it's supposed to be 11 days at last. 11 boners? Is that real? Yeah. No, it's not. And it comes in this. Look at this capsule it comes in.

This is just for the pill. It's like this weird matrix capsule. Oh, dude. How bad are these? Meanwhile, look at this. It says, this is hilarious. It says platinum 6,000. Like as if there's some like measuring going on. Like was there a platinum 6,000, like as if there's some measuring going on.

Was there a platinum 4,000? I don't want a platinum 2,000. Yeah, come on. Why are you pretending you have any idea? These people making these, just throwing some shit in a bowl and mixing it up while they're drunk. They don't know what the fuck's in there. Platinum 6,000. Fuck you.

These are two companies, too, but that both use rhinos. Why not? Why wouldn't you use rhino? One is Dr. Rhino and one is Rhino 11. Well, rhino is what those Asian people believe that rhino horns give you erections. That's why they've killed so many rhinos. The reason why rhino horns are worth so much. Have you ever seen a rhino horn?

It doesn't even make any sense. They're just gross. It's like hair. It's a giant, hard piece of fingernail or hair. Whereas if you look at elephant tusks, you go, wow, I kind of get it. That's beautiful. Those are amazing.

Rhino horns don't look cool. They're gross looking. Yeah, look at that. And so they take those things and they make some Chinese medicine that doesn't even work It doesn't even work. I Mean that doesn't make your dick hard It's we have Viagra and they're still killing rhinos so this actually has ingredients on it like Chinese daughter seed

Asparagus there's asparagus in here Asparagus why would they put asparagus they want your to smell different so that you really feel like something's happening. That's true. Or they just put asparagus to make you go, oh, it's healthy. It's got asparagus in it. That's probably true. And then it has none of that in it. Maybe both arguments were brought up at the meeting while they were cooking up fucking bathtub meth.

Yeah. For Rhino 12, let's add some kale. The problem is, man, I don't want any fucking gangsters coming at us and trying to kill us because we out what their products are. These products are not being made by above board folks, most likely. No, and they constantly are changing their names. If you go through my collection of these, I don't know why I keep these, but they're all different names. There's not one that's like- Well, they have to.

Aubrey was telling us what happens. This is what Aubrey says. I'm probably butchering it. But Aubrey said that these people make this stuff. They put in Viagra, which they buy from some Chinese manufacturer. They take that stuff. What is it? Modafinil?

Is that what it's called? Yeah. Okay. So they buy that stuff in bulk, and then they sell it for much more than it would be if they sold it and like If you sell a prescription for like a hundred pills be X amount of dollars But if you can stuff it into two gas station bullshit pills and sell each one for ten bucks Like how much is a rhino to cost? Well, these new ones with the holograms are like fourteen dollars But they last they do they don't last 11 days, but they definitely last a week.

But if that was, there's only two pills. If that was a bottle of Viagra, I mean, $14, it wouldn't be two pills for $14. They probably make like 100% more. And Viagra is bitch compared to this. You know, like this will beat the shit out of Viagra because this has like something that makes, like Viagra is cool, but it lasts a couple hours it doesn't really do it just makes you have

a boner kind of but this is like no you got bit by a snake boner for for a while yeah i i don't i would like to try it but it's not worth it i'm gonna get you one of the best ones i'm not gonna do it i found a review of someone dangerous that took rhino seven oh this one right here and he has a breakdown of all the different ingredients and whatnot of it. Oh, put that shit up. The main ingredient is called sildenafil, which is the active ingredient in Viagra. Oh, okay. Sildenafil.

That stuff. Look what it says right there. Okay, yeah. Why did I think it was modafinil? Isn't modafinil nuvigil? Yeah. Okay, that's it. If you go up a little,

it says serious side effects like headache, nausea, and blurred vision. I had that blurred vision part. That's what made me stop. These side effects that generally appear

when using prescription ED medication. It's funny, too, because yet the label specifically makes the claim, no headache. That's one of the primary

complaints about the supplement. All the stuff that was in it. Okay. about what he found was in it okay well let me just read what it says goji extract dang sen extract cinnamon bark blah blah blah licorice bunch of bullshit ginseng okay so what's actually in it that's really it i mean then he i don't know he didn't test it himself he just looked those up and then did research on all those things and then told you how it worked for him oh so did he say it worked it was rhino seven worked he said it's fast acting you don't have to remember every day okay well there are things that okay one thing i can say is I was rock hard, he says in all

caps, for like three days on this stuff, which is almost kind of annoying. It depends. Imagine having a hard-on when you have to do day-to-day tasks, tucking your boner into your pants and hoping it doesn't just pop out unexpectedly. Yeah. Wow. So these things really are, but I see, I thought you were going to send me something where the guy actually tested it to find out what the ingredients are.

That's what I'm interested in. If you go to FDA.gov, you could probably look up a couple of these different ones. I don't trust the government. They're lying to us about chemtrails. They're fucking lying to us about dick pills. It definitely makes you a lot hornier. It makes you hornier. I seek out massages.

I seek out, like, I literally, like, am 100% more hornier when I'm on these, though. Almost bad. Almost bad hornier. Now, after you take them, the next day, do you feel like shit? No. Do you feel worn out? No. There's none of that kind of effects.

I don't get the headaches. Are you a spokesperson for Boner Pills? No. Do you have a stake in these companies? I had an addiction to them. Why? I spinned out of control. Why don't they fucking sponsor your podcast?

I don't want anything to do with them anymore. Dude, you need sponsors. This should be your first sponsor. I think Onnit needs to figure out what's in these things and make their own. No, no, no. Probably not a good idea. We don't want to be involved in any shady shit.

Dr. Brian's Boner pill. It would be a side on it company. You could say, I'm not really a doctor, but I play one on the internet. You have a fucking stethoscope on. This is Dr. Rhino. Just hold on to a dead

rhino's horn. We can get that special effects guy, the guy that did the American Werewolf, to make a rhino horn with blood at the bottom of it like you had just chopped it off. Like that. Oh, like that. Yeah. And on the other side, make it like a helmet.

Like it looks like a dick on the horn. That would be so offensive. People would cry. What have you done? They killed a fucking rhino just for their show. Rhinos are beautiful, man. It is kind of fucked up That they get killed For that one specific reason

For those horns So weird It's sad It's just so weird But you know what That rhino Even though it looks sad That he got his horns chopped off

He's probably like Dude my face is a lot lighter now This is way better He doesn't know He's an idiot Look at him Look at his stupid head Stupid eyelashes

He doesn't know shit But did they chop his horn off to save him? Is that what they did here? Because I know they're doing some weird stuff to save. What does it say? So just. Made for boner. Oh, farmed game?

Armed gang. Oh, an armed gang reportedly broke into the game preserve. Oh, and then cut the fucking horns off. Stole seven rhino horns from a safe. Oh, so the photo doesn't represent. Is that Photoshop maybe? Looks real. Either way.

They're doing this to elephants. They're painting their tusks pink. They're dyeing their tusks. For breast cancer? Yes. For awareness. For awareness. I've got to write that down. Talk for a second. I gotta write something down. I've been forgetting. I just remembered. Oh my God. Hold on one second.

The rhinos on these boner pills all have their horns though. So that's good. It is weird that ants and rhinoceroses both supposedly can make boners. What? Yeah. Like ants, like if you grind up these African ants, they can also make boners. But rhinoceros horn doesn't work. Maybe it does. Maybe it does.

Maybe it does. There's so many rhinos all over these things. But there's a lot of that Chinese medicine stuff that just doesn't do anything. Some of it's got to work, though. I mean, they were hit and miss back then when they couldn't do testing. You had to hope that you found a guy that was completely legit. A guy who really knew how to make magic potions. That's essentially what it was.

When they didn't have any data, no internet, no encyclopedias, no fucking medical books to call upon, those fucking people, there's a lot of guessing going on. This is not real real it's not real it's like an online thing that kind of went viral oh but it's there's still some sort of conservation effort going on but the pink tusk painting isn't a real thing okay so was it a photoshop thing or was it a hoax both this reports online regarding elephant tusks being painted pink in an effort to devalue the ivory poachers

Most man people would still take it. They would go dude is a pink one is one they try to save psych It's it is kind of fucked up man Just it's just such a weird It's a weird thing that people would do to chop off a part of an animal's face to try to get their dick hard. You know, it'd be one thing if there wasn't an alternative. Don't you think if it was really awesome you would have heard about it, though? I don't know, man. I think it might be something to it.

Okay. Why don't you Google, can rhino horns Really give you an erection Or just put rhino boner He won't do it Because it's his laptop He's like I'm not getting on a list You're not gonna do this to me

I thought Can rhino horn I'll just even show you What that says Can rhino horn Cure cancer Grow back Regrow

Or what can they be used for Well how about Right erection Why are you Why are you doing that Erectile dysfunction. That's what I'm looking for. Bam.

Dude, if it helped you with erectile dysfunction and cancer. Viagra and species protection. Oh, my God. What was that saying? It was speculative. Yeah, it's too small. What is all speculation so far, but the anti-impetence drug Viagra, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Tiger penises, too, I guess, huh? Tiger penises, Viagra. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Tiger penises too, I guess, huh?

Tiger penis is not as good. Viagra, Cialis, or powdered rhino horn. Which one is the most effective? Click on that one. Above top secret. Definitely going to be legit if it's on above top secret, especially if it's in a forum. Black helicopters.

Is it possible in this day and age, 21st century, there are still men out there that honestly believe that powdered horn of an animal that has been butchered sometimes, blah, blah, blah, has had its horn removed by a chainsaw can still be effective cure for erectile dysfunction? Are we really still this backward? The medical companies that are the marketing meds, which are supposed to be temporary cures for this problem, be targeting the men, mainly Oriental, Asian, racist. Wow. I am sure, who are directly responsible for the death of so many rhino. Rhino. Isn't that the way to say it? Or rhinos?

Rhinos. But it sounds better, like you're sophisticated. Like deer. All right. So many rhino. Octopi. I'm a fan of octopi. I thought that most far eastern countries

were actually quite progressive, but they themselves are proving that they are not, exclamation point. First of all, fuckface, there's a billion people in China alone. One billion. There's not that many people chopping off rhino horns if you compare them to the idiots that we have here in america just by capita you know the number of people that are

scarfing up rhino horn in asia versus the number of people here that are chewing on bath salts there's probably way more bath salt people here than rhino horn people there. Like that's a totally racist thing to say, sir, for someone who's so concerned with the health and welfare of these rhinos. I, this guy's an idiot. Yeah. Well,

he's a guy in a forum. It's easy to be an idiot on a forum. It's easy to be an idiot on a podcast too. It's easy to be an idiot, you know, but I just, I don't understand why like there's there seems to be like an easy cure for that like if you just got them some of that gas station boner pills they wouldn't want to have anything to do with a rhino horn rhino horns worth thousands

of fucking dollars unless there is a little bit of rhino horn in all these imagine i mean they're telling us there's they even made a hologram on this one these. Imagine if that's what it was. They even made a hologram on this one. No shit. Imagine if that's what it is. Yeah. We got to find out, man. I bet we would be a pioneer. I'd be the first person to actually do a scientific test on these pills, including the people that made them.

I bet they never tested shit. They don't know what the fuck's in there, probably. You know, when we had some of the earlier versions of AlphaBrain, we would run these random tests on them and we'd find out that there would be B12 in it or something like that or creatine. It wasn't creatine. It was B12.

I would have to ask Aubrey. I'm talking on my ass. But the bottom line was the mixers that they used for our stuff when they combined all of our stuff. They didn't clean it out. So they had whatever was in there before. Even though it was just trace, a trace amount, they don't give a fuck.

They just dump it in there, shake that bag, talk, fart, get on the radio, maybe spit in there. People are assholes. Yeah, it's probably done in a tent also. It's probably not a lab. It's probably a tent somewhere. Where do you think they make boner pills? If you had a Pomona?

Yeah, this is definitely like Van Nuys. Like find a Pomona Raceway, Van Nuys. This is Van Nuys material. I think there's some dudes, they have a trailer right outside the freeway, like under an underpass. They're cooking it right in plain sight. Right. I just want to know the guys that sell

these that come into the gas stations like what those guys like the salesmen the boner pills like no number 11 definitely sunglasses on all the time you don't get to see their eyes sketchy a lot of looking left and looking right apparently there's a big npr uh piece on this, the NPR people are into getting hard-ons. Nice. I'm just looking down the whole article right now, but it says, contrary to the popular myth in the West, rhino horn was never traditionally viewed as an aphrodisiac.

I'm finding some stuff that uses it for all sorts of things, like as a gift. Some people think it's a hangover cure. Jesus Christ. It's valued more than gold. Something like $1,400 an ounce. Powers in gold? Is that what you're talking about?

Yeah. Okay. More than gold? Yeah. I'll show you the article. Vietnam's appetite for rhino horn drives poaching in Africa. Oh, my God. In 2013.

They killed 668 rhinos in 2012. It goes into talk about what they're using to kill them and whatnot. And then it says how much it's worth. Look at this smuggler. The guy gave his name. Sits behind Rhino Horn CO. They were seized at the airport. Wow.

Yeah, there's a 60-pound, 60 pounds got caught being smuggled in Ho Chi Minh City that was worth over like $1.5 million. Holy shit. Yeah. They use it for a lot of things, apparently. That is a crazy number. I had no idea that six pounds

was worth a million bucks. Surveys. 30 different ailments, including hangovers. Like a fad, it became popular. It's a great gift to your boss or a government official. It's a great gift for your boss or a government official. That's how Boy Thanh.

How do you say that name? Thanh. Thanh. T-H-A-N-H. A retired... Thanh? Thanh? A retired... Thanh? Thanh? That's what you think?

Wow. A retired official who used to approve construction projects in the Vietnamese government got his stash of rhino horn. Bui began taking rhino horn to recover from drinking binges with contractors. Every time I drank alcohol, I'd go home and grind the horn and drink it, says Bowie, a 65-year-old grandfather of two. An hour later, I'd throw up and feel sober again. That chick likes sitting at his breakfast table. He unwraps a piece of newspaper to reveal a small, grainy block of rhino horn he received as a gift. Whoa.

of rhino horn he received as a gift whoa boy pours water into a specially made bowl with a rough bottom and grinds the block of horn into a milky white liquid the grinding creates an odor that smells like burned hair it's because rhino horn contains keratin the main component, fingernails, and hair. He says that the value of rhino horn grew. As the value of rhino horn grew, it became a kind of currency. Oh, it's fucked. It's a part of their culture. That's fucked. That's fucked that they're, like, trading it and giving it to officials and bosses and, look what I have for you.

Very illegal rhino horn. Yeah, it's like, when we use, we use liquor that way, sometimes people use really... How about Cuban cigars? Oh, they're that too, yeah. Well, Cuban cigars were the thing because Cuban cigars, up until really recently, were illegal. We could smoke one right now. You want to smoke one? Sure.

We have three of them. Exactly, three of them. Let's do it. Yeah. Who brought these in? These are real Cubans? Yeah. We have three of them.

Cohibas. Oh, some tits. God damn it. Who brought them to us? I'll remember. Was it Aubrey? A minute. No, it was, someone was in the last month, I feel like.

Was it Chris Ryan? No. Chris Ryan's on the new Nikki Glaser show. Powerful. pretty funny on that that's Chris McGuire is the EP of that show such a good show powerful Chris McGuire

we're here smoking Cuban cigars you're allowed to smoke them now you know what they say about Cuba man they say you gotta get to Cuba now they're like get there now

it's gonna get because it's gonna turn into fucking Applebee's it's gonna be like six months frombee's. It's going to be like six months from now it'll be a Marriott. You'll bite the end off here. I read something about

how like we are already He's dried out. They're going to be shitty. I heard that we're like taking all their beverages. Like Americans are already like taking like all their water supplies.

It's broke apart. Yeah, broke apart. It's dry. We didn't put them, it broke apart. It's dry. We didn't put them in a humidor. I thought they were in these. There's different kinds of these tubes, and some of these tubes are sealed. These ones are just kind of screwed down. Let's see.

Half cigar. People, you hear that silence? That's the silence of me being a man. Smoking a cigar. Cuban, by the way. Probably fake. Just chewing on it. It's not bad.

Don't chew on it, dude. It's going to get you sick. I chewed tobacco when I was a kid because I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, which is now censored. Like the chew-chew, like in the side of your mouth? Yeah, the real chew, like you buy a brick of it. We're being men here. Men!

Want to turn that air conditioning thing on behind you? I did a few times. And we'll get some hot flow up in this bitch stuff um what we're talking oh yeah so it was a like a brick that looked like maybe like a pack of gum or something like that and you pull it apart and then you bite into the brick and pull off chunks of tobacco and chew on it and i almost threw up once. Maybe I did throw up, but I was like, all right, this is stupid. But I got into it because of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Yeah.

I never got into smoking cigars because I wanted to inhale it so much. Yeah, but you get high as fuck off these things. Tobacco has some sort of psychoactive properties to it for sure. has some sort of psychoactive properties to it for sure. And I think that they use it in a lot of ayahuasca rituals where they light tobacco smoke and they blow it in your face while you're tripping. And both Aubrey and Amber Lyon, when they did it, were talking about that.

It's definitely got some, like, I've smoked cigars before and got some really good ideas where I was like, ooh, my brain is flying. You'd probably really like cigarettes. Mm-hmm. I just can't wait until... Except for the whole being healthy thing. Yeah, I probably would.

Yeah. You know, Eddie Bravo will smoke a cigarette every now and then. Mm-hmm. I remember that thing. I found that thing a couple weeks ago that I didn't want to bring up because I wasn't sure if it was real, but it said that cigarettes are, like, proven. There was some study that was proven to give some sort of benefit for creativity. Yeah.

Yeah. The negative of the inhaling almost didn't even outweigh the benefit you got from creativity. Well, health wise. Yeah. The risk. Yeah. They were saying that it's like a nootropic, that it actually stimulates brain function. But if that's the case, you're just talking about the nicotine.

So I've done, before shows, I've sucked on those blue cigarettes. First of all, because I want to be Stephen Dorff, secretly. And second of all, because they do give you like a little pep, like a cup of coffee type pep, you know? Yeah. But that's not as strong as a cigarette, right? No, that shit's bullshit compared to a cigarette. That's why I've tried doing the vape life and all that bullshit, but it's not the same.

It's something to... I should smoke a cigarette before I go on stage. Yeah. Just one time, see what it's like. You should also have it with your morning coffee after you eat, after sex. You should have it with a drink while you're driving. The problem is people get addicted. You know, I don't want, I'm not going to do it.

Like, I'm not going to get addicted to cigarettes. I would never let it. You'd be in a bad habit of doing it every time you had a show. Yeah, that could be a problem. Even if you only smoked two cigarettes a weekend over the course of your life, that's a lot of cigarettes. Yeah, but you're old enough to do it now. Well, Eddie does. That's the only reason why I would think there would be a way to do it is because Eddie just will smoke a cigarette every now and again. He might smoke once a month or every two months or something like that.

And I'm like, wow, I like it. I like it every now and then. Every now and then I'll have one. That's interesting. Diaz used to do that for a while, too, but he doesn't do it anymore. I think he still does The blue cigarette though We're talking about Joey

Not Nate Or Nick By the way But Diaz used to Even after he quit He would go outside And take a cigarette from you

Smoke one like Right before a show There's definitely Some benefit In nicotine Definitely I just would I would wonder

Maybe I should just smoke a cigar before i go on stage like what gives you more of a rush i would say cigarettes probably better because you're inhaling it or you're supposed to inhale it and it's faster you're not stinking up the place that's the problem with this stinking up the place first of all how dare you i know i know i i'm one of the guys that that that when they smell this they get immediately angry they're like okay who's the guy that's just fucking ruining everybody's day? This is what we're going to do. We're going to go old-timey men.

Not like men from the 60s and 70s. We're going to go old-timey, like 30s and 20s. We're going to start smoking pipes. Mad Men? Ooh. No, Mad Men. I've never watched that show. The only reason why I wanted to watch that show is because that red-headed girl,

the bosomy red-headed girl, she's so hot. I wanted to do. The only reason why I didn't want to watch that show is because that redheaded girl, the buzz me redheaded girl, she's so hot. I wanted to watch that. I like a girl who's just not afraid to put some pounds on. Does that tobacco you roll cigarettes with, does that have a lot of nicotine in it? Oh, yeah. What about a spliff? Like if you made a half joint, half. Those fuck you up, man.

I never really do spliffs. I'm not a spliff guy. But when I was hanging out with Charlie Murphy, I did. That's how Charlie Murphy would roll all of them. So you'd be taking in the weed with the nicotine together. I got higher than probably any other time before in my life doing

shows with Charlie. Charlie Murphy's one of the coolest fucking guys in the world. He really is. I love that guy. He's just such a good dude. Such a solid guy. And he smokes the shit out of those blunts. I hate when girls do that.

A lot of girls like the blunts usually. I don't know why. To me, it's like a white guy smoking a menthol. You're like, oh, you're one of those blunt girls. Great. Well, you're dating girls that like to fuck black guys. Yeah. It's totally normal.

Super common. I think that's more of an age thing. Do they say y'all a lot and get mad throw their hands around like gang signs this should just stink so like i could never be a cigar smoker in my house because you could tell this would just fucking get on everything smells awesome you like the smell i love it don't know what you're talking about but i don't love it as much as pipes. And that's what I was thinking of. Wasn't it Bertrand Russell, I think, who was a famous inveterate pipe smoker, tobacco addict, brilliant man. And back in the day, he wouldn't fly unless he could smoke on the plane. He wouldn't fly. He said, yeah, there he is.

That's him. He's got a story about on tobacco. Why don't you find the YouTube clip, Bertrand Russell on tobacco. Fascinating guy because that guy lived in the dark ages of information as far as the modern world, the world of photography and the ability to document things. So to get a guy like this on a YouTube video. Show it to us. What year was this? I took to it some 70 years ago, so it doesn't seem to have had a very great effect so far.

In fact, you know, on one occasion it saved my life. I was in an airplane, and a man was getting a seat for me, and I said, get me a seat in the smoking part, because if I can't smoke, I should die. And sure enough, there was a seat in the smoking part, because if I can't smoke, I should die. And sure enough, there was an accident, a bad accident, and all the people in the non-smoking part of the plane were drowned. And the people in the smoking part

jumped into the Norwegian fjord where we landed and were saved, so that I owe my life to smoking. Did he drown all the people? He was in a plane crash, Brian. Don't sacrifice that story for a quip. I killed all the ones.

No. He's a plane crash, bro. That's crazy. So all the people. There's a real ashtray somewhere. This seems like one of those stories that everyone was like, oh, is that true? But there was no internet back then. so we all just believed this guy. There probably wasn't even a plane accident.

True. And he probably made this shit up just because these oldies got a British accent or whatever. Like if liars got together and they had liar conventions, the years that the internet came out, they'd be like, boys, we got some problems. We got some problems on the horizon. We got to figure out a way to lie better. This is how you got to cover your tracks like liars. It used to be super common to be completely full of shit, particularly about your martial arts background.

There was a lot of really crazy people when I was a kid that were claiming martial arts master, and they would walk around with Chinese kung fu outfits on and shit and slippers. They would walk around with those ninja shoes where they had the toe that was split. You ever seen those shoes? I've seen dudes walk around with kung fu outfits. And they're represented in two completely different countries. The kung fu outfit is from Japan.

The ninja slippers are from Japan. The kung fu outfit is from China, rather. The ninja outfit is from Japan. These motherfuckers would mix and match their different styles of train killer. But that guy is a good example, though. Like, how, back then, you'd be like, so every single person died in the non-smoking. Like, every single one. Like, there was a line where it said, no smoking, all those people died.

Well, the front of the plane. Well, also, you have to think of, when you're watching a guy like Bertrand Russell, when was that filmed, did it say? If he was talking about how it saved his life, that had to be before they made that shitty-ass old grainy movie, which was in black and white. So it was probably a long fucking time ago when planes were made out of fucking gum wrappers.

1959, I think. Is when he died? No, that's when that interview was. Okay. So if it's in 59, then the plane was probably from the 40s or 50s. I mean, who knows when that happened. But yeah, that ain't good. That's just mad denial and wanting an excuse for smoking.

Yeah. Yeah. It saved my life. I won. Smoke's a pipe, though. Yeah. Pipe is definitely a different animal my grandfather used to smoke

and he used to have those big back in the day they used to have those big lighters that would sit on your desk and it was just like oh yeah

like huge ones it had like a cloth wrap around the bottom of it yeah I remember those this is the incident he was in oh it was real

the Buchenburst disaster it was a crash of a flying boat of what yeah of what a flying boat. A what? Yeah. A what? A flying boat. Why didn't you mention that, Bertrand?

Flying boat. The survivors were all in the smoking compartment at the back of the cabin. It's true. Damn. Among the survivors were the philosopher Bertrand Russell. Wikipedia. Citation needed. Wikipedia is awesome.

Although it does say I'm 5'9", and Brian Cowan's my brother. I don't know why. Maybe he added that. Brian? No. I think it was in my one of the thing. Oh, Shiny. No, not Shiny Happy G-Head.

I'm going to be dead someday. The sketch that Brian Cowan and I did in my parents' basement where we were banging each other. We're working out. We're getting pumped. I think how that whole thing started is because you used to say he's your brother from another mother and some idiot was like oh they're brothers well maybe it's just for fun people did it and he looks like my brother he totally looks like he'd be my brother like we just grew in different directions he went north and south and i went east and west

but like if he stretched his face out and he stretched his shoulders out it's it's very similar in a lot of ways but he's uh might as well be my brother but uh yeah wikipedia is wrong about a lot of shit it says i have crohn's disease too at least it used to which i don't where'd that even start from that's funny somebody being funny somebody being silly i kind of i didn't want to change any of it i i think it's funny I like what the internet does for the most part I think a little bit of disinformation makes people go what wait are you serious

I like that even when those stupid stories come out like I killed a mountain lion with a belt my own sister called me up my own fucking sister what are you talking about you can't kill a mountain lion with a belt you don't think I'd call you if I did?

I'd be like, strap yourself in, sister, because your brother's a fucking gangster. I killed a mountain lion with a belt. Oh, my God. What? I killed a fucking mountain lion with a belt. I'm about to go do a news story. I'll call you back later. I'd be strutting around in my underwear with scars all over my body.

I'd have all the gauze, like with the blood oozing through all the stitches, which I would be fucking covered with. Because even if you survive a mountain lion attack, you ain't surviving unscathed. If you go to guyscode on Instagram, guyscode on Instagram is an excellent little Instagram page that has a lot of pictures of girls' butts. But great butts. Ooh. But they, great butts. Like, you look at their asses and you go, good Lord, why is that so appealing to look at? You know? Even if someone knows is never going to get near that girl,

much less be able to squeeze it from behind, you want to. And so it's worth looking at. Like, it gives you that little ooh. So they're providing you with a little pleasure when they show you their asses in those pictures, those wonderful gals of the Instagram. But Guys Code had this picture of this guy who was like in the 1800s, killed a leopard with his bare hands. He got attacked by a leopard in Africa. And it wasn't a giant one, but it was big enough to fuck you up, man. And he was all wrapped up in stitches, but the thing was dead next to him and his arms in a sling.

I mean, he's fucked up. And when you got fucked up back then, you got fucked up for keeps. Like, they didn't fix you. There was no stem cells. You know? They didn't have ACL surgery. I mean, I would literally be crippled. Both of my knees would be completely shot because I had, there's the guy.

What's his name? Carl Akeley. A-K-E-L-E-Y. And they have him down there as Badass of the Week. And he's got a leopard that, shit, how much do you think that weighs? I don't know, but it's... At least 60 pounds. Big enough to seem like it could be a little bit dangerous, but it also looks like you

could kind of kill that. It just would suck. Like, I have to break this poor cat's neck. Dude, that thing would kill you. Yeah? Fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? Just think, I think it'd would kill you. Yeah? Fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? Just think.

I think it would probably kill me. I mean, I think that guy probably got real lucky. The cat was probably sick, which is why I was trying to attack and kill a person in the first place. I mean, that does happen. They get sick. They get old. Sometimes their teeth get worn out, and they can't kill something big anymore. So that's one of the problems with certain animals.

When they're predators, they start picking on people because they can't kill something big anymore. So that's one of the problems with certain animals. When they're predators, they start picking on people because they can't get animals anymore. And people are so goddamn slow. Check out this quote, sorry. What'd he say? This quote down here. I felt no pain, but I certainly never thought for a moment that I would come out alive.

I was rather calm, as a matter of fact, except for a tremendous and wildly pleasant thrill I felt knowing that I was battling for my life. What a fucking man. What a man. That's why he survived. What year was this? What does it say? Doesn't say.

Doesn't say? No. What a fucking savage. 1864. Oh, he was born in 1864. Oh. He fought an elephant, too. He got pinned by an elephant.

Okay, he might be a dick. Yeah. He's probably slapping animals. He might have been like the fucking crocodile hunter of his day, just threatening animals. Yeah. Or he might, you know, if you're in Africa for a long enough time, you probably get jacked. So he was born in 1865. So how old do you think he was in that picture?

Probably 30, right? Yeah. Scroll up, Jamie. Let me get a look at him. All the way up. There you go. Looks like Kyle Kinane. Yeah.

That's a hard drinking 35. Depends. That leopard would fuck you up. Would fuck me up. If we had it in the studio, you know how terrified we would be? Oh, I'd be terrified, but then once you grabbed it, it seems like you could just like fall on its head or something. You're out of your mind.

You're out of your mind. Have you ever held on to a cat that wants to get away? You have. You have cats. Yeah. You ever wash your cat? Yeah. Yeah.

You know how they try to kick and fucking twist and they get mad at you? Pure muscle. You know, I have two of the sweetest cats in the world until you try to kick and fucking twist and they get mad at you pure muscle You know I have two of the sweetest cats in the world until you try to give them a bath Those little fuckers want to go to war with you like settle down. We're just getting wet right settle down Wash yourself bitch you got a dirty ass Especially when they're fluffy fluffy cats come out of the litter box with an eco-disaster hanging off their asshole. They can't clean it. It's not supposed to exist in nature.

You're never supposed to have an asshole with all these feathers all around it that can catch shit. What do you got there, Jamie Forrest? You can see the Ackley, or however you say his last name, Hall of African Mammals in the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan's Upper West Side. So what was he? Was he a hunter? Yeah, he was like some sort of conservationist hunter back in the time of Roosevelt.

I'm looking through this article. There's another guy. It seems like he was head-to-head with sort of like a Tesla Edison thing. There's a guy named Ward. So they were going around searching and hunting for animals and finding new species of things in the Congo. Wow. All sorts of different places like that. I was watching this program on buffalo last night,

and they were talking about how the buffalo were decimated and how they were shipping these truckloads or trains, train carriages filled with buffalo meat back to the East Coast. Buffalo meat became high in demand, east coast buffalo meat became high in demand and then buffalo hides were high in demand and they were showing in this this thing that i was watching stacks of skins just stacks of skins and of skulls and you just look at you like what the how did you do this how did you guys not think that this was a terrible idea? Look at that.

Look at those stacks of skulls. There's a stack that go all the way up to the top of that railroad cart. I mean, that's fucking bananas. Stacks of skins. Look at these skins. I mean, they were just wiping out hundreds of thousands of them. Like, how many did they wipe out a year? Because you got to assume, like, that stuff is probably recently come off the animal.

That says it's 40,000 buffalo hides right there. Oh my God. It's so crazy what they did. I got to get this guy on the podcast. His name is Dan Flores and I found out about him from Steve Rinella and he has a very interesting hypothesis hypothesis. Well, he's a scientist, and a historian, I believe, as well. So he has—maybe not a scientist. Either way, his take on what happened with the buffalo is essentially—I might butcher this— but that when the first Europeans came to North America, They didn't find evidence of buffalo. They talked about everything else.

They talked about bear. They talked about deer. They talked about elk. They talked about all these different animals that we know exist here, but they didn't really talk about buffalo. And he believes with the sheer numbers of buffalo that existed 100 years later, it seems highly improbable that they wouldn't talk about them. And his take is that what happened was when Europeans started showing up in America, they brought with them a lot of diseases and those diseases that they gave these people, these people, like, first of all, like there's a, there's a common myth apparently that they gave them syphilis in the form of scabs

in blankets that they put scabs and blankets and gave them tophilis in the form of scabs in blankets that they put scabs and blankets and gave them to the native americans as far as i know that's not true not only that they didn't know about bacteria then they didn't know what that you know that you would that that's how it was spread they didn't know that you would give someone a scab and that the actual tissue from the scab would cause the disease the knowledge of like how diseases were spread was not that sophisticated back then as far as what i read but what he's saying is that when the europeans came here and they introduced these new diseases that they had that the natives didn't have any immune systems for it fucking devastated the population and he said that that is responsible for as many deaths as anything else to the Native Americans that lived here.

They just got fucking completely wiped out by European diseases. When that happened, the Native Americans were responsible for keeping the buffalo populations in check and had been doing so pretty efficiently ever since that the horse was brought to North America. Because before the Europeans came here, Native Americans didn't have horses. doing so pretty efficiently ever since that the horse was brought to North America. Because before the Europeans came here, Native Americans didn't have horses. They weren't on horses. So the horses that, you know, we depict the Wild West, the Native Americans riding around the horse, how they've always been. No, no, they were always like, you know, like really nomadic people that live in Brazil or something like that in the rainforest or Ecuador or something like that.

They, they weren't on horses. So they got the horses from the North Americans, but they also got the diseases. And while they had the horses, they were on the way to, in his words, extirpating the Buffalo from their domain,

which means a local extinction. So they were already doing such an efficient job of killing the Buffalo from horses because they'd run up on horses efficient job of killing the buffalo from horses because they'd run up on horses and just fucking arrow the shit out of these buffalo. And they were ruthlessly effective because they were on a horse. So they could get that horse right up with the buffalo

because a buffalo's full clip is about 40 miles an hour. But a horse can run about 50, 60, you know, and especially like a really strong horse. So these guys would just run up on these fucking herds of buffalo and blast them with arrows and kill them. And then they got guns. And once they got guns, good googly moogly between horses and rifles. I mean, they were fucking these buffalo up. So what happened was they got almost wiped out and the buffalo came back strong.

So when they saw these millions of buffalo out on these prairies, that was an overabundance. That was a rare cycle in time that corresponded with the death of the Native Americans. And this is his paper that he wrote. Buffalo Ecology, I think something, something Buffalo Ecology. His name is Dan Flores. See if we can find it. I think it's one of those university papers, that you probably have to have a some sort of a membership and it's like one of those things that that um kid got in trouble for releasing for free

remember that kid that wound up killing himself yeah there's a pdf you can get oh there's a pdf what does it say it's 22 pages bison ecology and bison diplomacy. That's it. The southern plains from 1800 to 1850. Really, really interesting stuff. Because, you know, we're finding out more and more about the history of this country, obviously, because we still have Columbus Day. I mean, the fact that we still have a day named after a guy who didn't even get here. You know, he landed in the West Indies, right? Isn't that where he landed?

The Bahamas or some shit? What other things do you think are on the way out? Columbus Day is definitely on the way out. He should have been out a long time ago. He's a murderer. What else? Columbus is a mass murderer. If you go to the, there was a missionary or someone that was there at the time of Columbus

that detailed the horrors of what they did to the Native American people that they found to try to get these people to give them gold. I mean, the fucking horrors of what they did to the native american people that they found to try to get these people to give them gold i mean the fucking horrors they would cut off body parts and and send these people out they would cut their arms off if they didn't bring back a certain amount of weight and gold they would smash babies on the rocks they would take their children from them and smash them in the rocks we're talking about boat boats filled with serial killers. And we have a holiday where kids get off school for a guy who ran a boat of serial killers that came across the ocean and just laid waste to everybody in front of him. I'm from a city that's named after him, Columbus. We even have his boat, like a recreation of his boat in Columbus, Ohio.

That's fucking crazy, man. Where's that lighter, brother? He's got it over there. You need to spark that back up. Yeah, I'm high as fuck off this. I think. The weed helps. But I don't know how we got on this.

Bison's, I was watching Buffalo, blah, blah, blah. We were talking about dicks, and it just went from rhinos to other. Oh, yeah. blah blah blah we're talking about dicks and it just went from rhinos to other oh yeah that dude um that i posted yesterday was it cjw underscore photography that guy's uh instagram page he got a hold of me and he's making that wolf the wolf with the snow he's gonna put that on a steel plate and send it to us we're gonna put it up here oh it's the most metal prints are badass yeah and that's like one of the most dope nature photographs ever you've seen it Brian Yeah, pull it up. It's on my Instagram page is the one of specific It's got this wolf and his face is covered in snow

And he's looking at you not the one that we showed John Dudley my friend John who was on here yesterday, dude He fought a pack of wolves off that was trying to take his elk. Whoa. Yeah, whoa Barefoot like what he did. Whoa. Like barefoot? Like what he did? No, two guides, two barefoot. Did he use only his asshole? How did he fight him? How was his feet? He was in Alberta.

He shot an elk and these wolves started circling and they ran in and they were trying to scare him off the elk and he shot one. And then the other wolves showed up and they started howling and circling him. Look at that fucking picture. How dope is that picture? God damn. He's going to come to one of the shows at the Fillmore in San Francisco. And I want to talk to him and find out how he took this and where was he.

It's got to take lots of hours of sitting and waiting and camping and being really cold. Yeah, and to get this perfect shot. God, what a cool animal. I bet he's got some crazy stories of getting them and just being surrounded by wolves and whatnot because he's got a lot of cool pictures. Yeah, you've got to be... You've got to put yourself in a weird spot.

You've got to be a bold motherfucker to get that photo. I mean, because you can only be so far away, right? Yeah, your lenses can only take you so close. Like, how close would you be able to... That's so high def. It could be cropped, so it could be a little bit off, but it's such a really close picture. I bet he had a really good 400-600 lens, so

maybe 50-100 yards at the farthest. 100 yards, yeah, at the furthest. I doubt it, but like 50 yards, maybe. It's hard. I would imagine he'd be closer than that. He's got to be crazy. It depends what camera he's used to. If you go to his Instagram, there's a picture of that wolf with another wolf there.

Oh, look at that. That's sweet. Yeah, he's got a bunch of- Is that a bobcat? Dope shit. Yeah, that's a bobcat, I think, or a lynx. One of those. Oh, that's sweet.

Look at those mountain lions he's got too. Look at that one licking his lips. It's a Gene Simmons mountain lion. Lick it up. What do you think about Gene Simmons and that whole controversy about him calling out NWA, saying they shouldn't be allowed in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because it's not rock and roll? Well, Kiss wasn't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame forever. So if I was him, I'd be like, fuck the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is more of like a pop music, popular music Hall of Fame. Scroll that shit down. Let me see that wolf. The Beastie Boys are kind of rock, though, if you listen to Paul's Boutique. That's it? We'll scroll up then. Paul's Boutique, dude, is a rock and roll album. Or, I mean, I don't know.

How is that it? I don't know. Maybe he's got another page. No, is a rock and roll album. Or, I mean, I don't know. How is that it? I don't know. Maybe he's got another page. No, man. That's it. Are you sure? Yeah, he's got 353 posts. Yeah, that's not it, Jamie.

It's just not refreshing. No, it's just not refreshing. Just refresh it. Oh, there it goes. Oh, there it goes. Oh, look at that raccoon. That's crazy. Your raccoons are nuts.

Damn, he's got great photos. Oh, amazing, man. No, that's not it, Jamie. There's one scroll down. It's the exact same pose of that wolf, but he's with another wolf. Why is it? Oh, there it goes. It's weird how it loads, right?

Goddamn Instagram. You know what it is? They went up to 60 second videos, and their shit's getting hammered. Yeah. Hammer time. There's another thing that I posted. There it is right there. There's another thing that I posted that is that exact same wolf, but with another wolf next to him.

That might even be more badass. Jesus fucking Christ. No, that's way better. Oh, my God. It's like the wolf's telling him, like, let's go kill that photographer. Hey, dude, if you're listening, scratch that. Make me one of these. Make me the double wolf.

Fuck, that's amazing. God damn, that's crazy. Holy shit, what a picture. That guy deserves an award for that picture. That might be, I'm going to say it is, that's the coolest wildlife photograph I've ever seen. Wow. That's cool.

Because, yeah, it was undeniably cool. The photo looks so rare. I mean, how do you get a wolf with all that snow all over his face like that? What are the odds you're going to capture that? And then another one the same size right next to him, maybe his wife. The wife, maybe the wolf's on the left. That's the wife. Who's the wife?

The wife's on the right because it looks like she's bitching. She's bitching at him. Yeah. You motherfucker, you only killed five elk. You're so fucking lazy. When you were young when you first met me, you did so much to impress me. The guy's an animal to get out there. Chris Montano Jr.

Yeah, Chris, you're a fucking animal. Just a, I mean. That's a timber wolf. Yeah, man. I think that's in Yellowstone. Jesus. Those are in Yellowstone. They have a lot of them in Yellowstone. Yeah, man. I think that's in Yellowstone. Jesus. Those are in Yellowstone. They have a lot of them in Yellowstone.

It's crazy. There's a cool video that I posted or a photo I posted today from National Geographic. The National Geographic Instagram page is another one I'm fucking completely addicted to. Every other day they have some just whoa photo where you look and you go, fuck. God damn it. And today was these two bears that were duking it out in yellowstone look at the size of these fucking beasts look at the claws on him the claws that are on that one's back as they're fighting these two giant ass fucking

grizzlies are going at it and one of them has Wolverine style razor blades coming out of his front arm fuck man another John Dudley story John who was here yesterday he saw a bear kill a moose he was there when a grizzly swatted a moose in the back and broke its back He said the bear was chasing the moose. They got into conflict. The bear got on top of him and swatted his back and broke it. He said he broke his back with one swipe. Wow.

He also talked about this cabin that they had in the woods where this bear broke into the cabin, pulled the wall apart, pulled the door frame and the door off the wall with these nine-inch spike nails all around it. Then there was a stove inside that smelled like food. He crushed the stove to the ground like you would stomp on a soda can just to ooze out whatever fat and grease was inside the stove. Fuck bears, man. Fuck that. It's so crazy that we want more of those. We're like, we need to save those. We need them everywhere. And the bears, man. Fuck that. So crazy that we want more of those.

We're like, we need to save those. We need them everywhere. And the wolves, too. We're like, oh, they're so awesome. That thing's a killing machine looking right through your eyes. It's cool that they exist, though. You know, I mean, it would be kind of cool if dinosaurs were still here, too. If there was, like, a real

Jurassic Island. That would suck. Come on come on man as long as you didn't have to go there if it was like an island like new zealand yeah yeah somewhere in the middle past hawaii yeah well new zealand's huge probably not new zealand we don't want to do that to those people yeah they could get too big leave well they don't have new zealand is like crazy wildlife situation because new zealand is a fairly recent continent or island as far as I know, as far as like the volcanic activity of the earth. And there wasn't a lot of land masses connecting it to other places. So they have some indigenous wildlife, like a bunch of weird animals and shit.

But they also have a lot of stuff that is non-native that was brought in. Like all these hunting animals. These really rich dudes a long time ago basically turned New Zealand into a hunting preserve. And they just let these stags loose, these European deer, these red deer and stags. Stags is like a European form of elk. And they let all these things loose all throughout New Zealand, but they don't have any mountain lions. They don't have any bobcats. They don't have wolves. They don't have coyotes. a European form of elk. And they let all these things loose all throughout New Zealand,

but they don't have any mountain lions. They don't have any bobcats. They don't have wolves. They don't have coyotes. They don't have anything that kills these things. So they have to send people out there to kill them. People are just killing them constantly. And when some of the populations of some of the animals get too high, they have to fly over them and fucking gun them down from the sky.

They're having this problem right now with Cat Island, which is that island of cats off of Japan. I've heard of that. And they're inbreeding like crazy. It's scary. All these cats, like thousands and thousands of cats, just live on this island. It must smell like shit, by the way.

It probably smells like ammonia piss. You know, did you see what's going on with Fukushima? Mm-mm. Fukushima has a problem with radioactive wild boars. Nice. There's like hundreds of radioactive wild boars that have taken over that area because, you know, the people aren't really there anymore. And they're running rampant and they have a problem with them. They don't know what to do.

They have radioactive wild pigs. Look at this fucking thing. Thousands of, oh, I said hundreds. Thousands of radioactive boars are overrunning farmland in Fukushima. But look at the photos of them. They have some photos of these fucking boars. Maybe a different article. Yeah, there's a good one.

That might be stock footage, though. Yeah, wild boar stock. See, I'm a fucking internet wizard, dude. I know things. It's probably all the photos are probably stock. But there was one video of this guy who had like a radioactive suit on like he was some sort of a scientist. And these boars were chasing him. Those all look stock.

Yeah, they all look stock. But whatever. Yeah, who the fuck's going to go there and take those pictures? What is this? Other radioactive dudes. Are those the boar themselves? Other radioactive dudes. Are those the boar themselves?

They have a real problem if those things start turning into, like, some comic book superhero-type character powers. I mean, if these things are radioactive, like, what if they start morphing? What if they become super smart? Because we already know that boars are smart. Like, pigs are supposed to be smarter than dogs, right? Oh, there they are. This is the real ones. shit running down the street lots of them slamming into the fucking fence trying to get out of this cage they caught him in good luck good luck japan

they have by the way that that thing is still leaking thousands of gallons of radioactive shit into the water every day. Isn't California, and we still have that gas leak up in Simi Valley or wherever that is. They sealed it. Did they? Yeah, they sealed it out a long time ago. But that was bad. They said it was like every car in the United States, the emissions from every car in the United States in one day.

Wow. I might have made that number up. Just FYI. FYI. Powerful Death Squad cup. I like this one, man is that i'm drinking out of yeah available right now at death squad dot tv brian red band creations yeah that's fun stuff you uh you you remember when we used to talk about that radioactive up there and and uh the thing i

it's funny because i know somebody or i met these these triplets the other day that grew up there. What do you think the odds are that they're triplets because they grew up near that radioactive? What makes triplets? That's a real good question. I think whores. Only whores. You just have to love dick so much that you take in so much cum

that this cum just rushes and no one egg wins. Maybe a dude who's just got egg wins. Yeah. Maybe a dude who's just got a lot of cum. Maybe that's what makes, maybe super aggressive cum. I know two people that have triplets my age, but I think nowadays

it's probably more for like, they might be using fertility things. Fertility things. Like an accident, they had three and they only wanted to have one or two.

That definitely happens. That happens with older ladies. That's like John and Kate plus eight. Remember that chick had like seven fucking babies inside of her? No, eight inside of her and then two additionally. They had two first and then decided they wanted more.

And so they filled themselves up with babies. And remember that show? Boy, that was an interesting show. Because that was a show that kind of showed how much pressure the average person gets under when you're under the microscope like people that behave like totally normal they think their behavior is totally normal but then all of a sudden they're under the microscope and the whole world sees that and then they get criticized and freaked on and then next thing you know they can't handle it anymore and they break up and then john you know was forced to get like regular jobs they'd catch

him dating women and it was you know they would let hound the guy remember that yeah it was really ugly it was real ugly and you know they're poor fucking kids man yeah it's just weird so i guess they had six and then they uh they had two previous and they had six babies inside of her and that's all those fertility drugs for sure. That's weird, man. It's weird. You know, because it's also weird because I'm pretty sure they were strictly religious, weren't they? I feel like that's when it happens.

Yeah. Well, not really because, see, like God says be fruitful and multiply, but he doesn't say anything about taking fertility drugs in order to make that happen. And if it's God's plan, is it all God's plan when a scientist steps in? Is it God's plan because the scientist is here? Did God make the scientist? Where do you draw the line as far as what God wants? Because if that's true, someone invented abortion.

Was it God's plan to make abortion? Was God's plan for everything? I know multiple families where I'm from because of a Catholic family raised over 10 kids. I know at least three families that have 10, 12 kids. Again, whores. Whores. Was it fertility pills or no? No, it's just like they almost had one every year.

They just like to fuck. Yeah, it's constant. Pull out this time. Fuck you. One's all boys. One's all girls. Take the kid. 10 of them? Yeah. 10 girls? Yeah, all blonde girls. Yeah,. One's all boys. One's all girls. Take the kid. Ten of them?

Yeah. Ten girls? Yeah. All blonde girls. Yeah, that's crazy. Wow. A lot of fucking going on. Ten kids.

You know when you die, how you like shit yourself and all the piss and everything comes out? If you have any in you. Right. Well, I mean, sure, there's something in there, right? It's like having anal sex where the girl likes to do meth. Eddie Bravo always said that's the way to go because they don't eat. Ah. Brian just, a light bulb went off. Meth, huh?

They don't eat and their apartments are squeaky clean. All they do is clean their apartments. I was just thinking of how realistic would it be, like Jesus on the cross, if it was realistic, if it was just shit and piss everywhere on the bottom of the cross. Yeah, there'd definitely be some, I would imagine,

if they fed them before they strung them up there. It's interesting, too, because they always show the crucifixion marks through the hands, but apparently that's not capable of supporting your body. They go through the wrist. Yeah, you would have fallen off. Yeah. Well, that makes sense because that's how you hang a deer.

You go through the ligament behind the knee, and you like a stick through it and you can hang him from that. There's also something with suffocation, the way it would have hung his body, he would have suffocated in a couple hours instead of days. Because the way the body. Yeah, the way your body would have hung the weight on your diaphragm or something like that. I was too much in Catholic religion class to have all this stuff explained and now I've learned extra stuff. There was a story that Daniele Bolelli of History on Fire. He's got an awesome podcast, History on Fire. In the opening podcast, he has a pilot like episode 00 and then he has episode 1. about this, I believe it was the Romans

had hung up some insane, like 100 miles of bodies, something crazy like that. Like, what was the actual number? I remember you saying that right now. It was like the whole marching, the whole pathway. The whole road to wherever it was, 100 miles or whatever the fuck it was, was just like every X amount of meters,

they had a body that was crucified. Just all along the road. That was how people used to roll back then. They used to scare the shit out of people. There was no hiding the photos of the caskets. No, they hung people on sticks, stuffed them into the ground. Spartacus Road, 6,000.

Spartacus. 6,000. Maybe. I think that's the same thing. God. They crucified 6,000 people. Jesus Christ. People were brutal back then.

I mean, I guess they're brutal today. There was an article that I tweeted earlier today, orweeted that was her name, Jen Briney. How do you say her last name? She's the one who has that political podcast supposed to be good. What is her name? But anyway, the article is about a guy, she retweeted something from, I think it was from The Guardian, where a guy wrote what it feels like to be on the drone kill list, and that he made

his way into Europe, specifically because he was worried that they were going to kill him with a drone, and that he used to hide and sleep under trees, so that his family, Jen Briney, how do you spell it? B-R-I-N-E-Y? That this guy would sleep under trees.

It was in The Independent. Sleep under trees to protect his family because no one wanted to be near him because he was on the fucking kill list for drones. Wow. You see the drone with the chainsaw? That's scary. They made a drone that has a chainsaw attached to it. Like Doom?

Yes. Did you see the Doom video? I actually haven't seen it, but I saw the billboard on Sunset. It's a movie or is it a video game? It's a video, but the video looks insane, but the Doom billboard makes me want to play Doom. What is this, a flying chainsaw? It's a flying chainsaw drone. They attach a chainsaw to the bottom of a drone, turn it on, and destroy.

I think this is the video where they destroy snowmen. But how scary is that? It's a matter of time before we have to go to war with drones. Right? Yeah. Oh, my God. This is hilarious. They're just flying over and jacking snowmen in the head,

cutting off icicles. There's a new drone that just got released that's really popular that's doing some cool things. It's like a DJI Phantom something, Phantom 4. It can follow you. You just like tap the screen and it'll follow you around. Do you have to register drones? Yeah, you have to register them with the FAA now.

Now you do? All of them, yeah. This year, I believe. Oh, wow. That's good. But all those programs, they have things built into them. They won't even let you fly into non-fly zones. This thing's cutting limbs off trees. And they have another drone flying around taking video

of it, which is hilarious. What a weird world we're living in today, man. I've thought about getting one just to try it. You totally should have one. It seems right up your alley. Pull up the drone. I mean, not the one just to try it. You totally should have one. It seems right up your alley. Pull up the drone. I mean, not the drone. The Doom footage. Show Brian the Doom.

Go full screen, please. And don't play a shit until it's ready. The multiplayer one, right? Yeah. Dude, wait until you see this. The multiplayer looks so badass. Yeah. It's like Quake 3 on crack.

I shouldn't say that. On steroids? From hell? You know, those hack sayings. On crack. From hell. You know, those hack sayings. On crack. From hell. Watch this. Look at this.

Look at the graphics, first of all. Oh, wow. Triple kill. How wild does this look? This looks, reminds me of Tole of Quick, right? Totally. Well, it's in software. It's the same guys. Oh, this looks so fun.

Alright. Should we, Brian, should we get a LAN party in here? Fuck yeah. Should we? Wow, okay. What is the company that, oh my god! What is the company that we should buy our PCs from? Falcon or Alienware? We should get Alienware

because Alienware used to sponsor us. So just out of loyalty and respect, we should get Alienware. So we should contact Alienware and let them know we're going to set up a fucking LAN party up in this bitch. Oh, Joe, you're going deep on this, I can tell you. Well, we'll have some fun.

What I want to do, though, Brian, is you and me do this and we'll go on Twitch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We just got gotta be really PC. Fuck you. Suck it. That shit ain't happening. What are you talking about? You know you can't even take off your shirt

as a guy on Twitch or you'll get banned? Everybody that's on Twitch should keep their fucking shirt on. How about that? Except Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson and I think John Dodson's on Twitch, too. John, I know how you play games. Yeah, all those guys can take their shirt off.

Everybody else, keep your fucking disgusting man boobs away from my screen. You haven't seen these. I have. What are you talking about? Who are you lying to? Don't lie to me. So Alienware, if you're listening, hook us up. Or Falcon Northwest, if you want to bring us over. Yeah. I like Alienware, if you're listening, hook us up. Or Falcon Northwest if you want to bring us over.

Yeah. I like Alienware, man. I have that old laptop that they gave us back in the day and I turned it on the other day. I'm pretty sure they both sponsored fighters. I'm pretty sure. Did they? Pretty sure, yeah. Yeah, so I'm down with all but. Loyalty to Alienware for two reasons. One,

because we used to use them. I used to run the podcast. My version of it. You One, because we used to use them. I used to run the podcast, my version of it, you know, when I used to research stuff. That was all from the Alienware back then. That was cool. I liked it. It was a big-ass fucking screen. Who did I give that to? I remember you telling me you gave it to somebody. Somebody who plays games. I think Duncan.

Your trainer, didn't you? Did you give it to Justin? Was it Justin? Probably was Justin. I think he sold it. They make badass laptops, though. I like how the ones that we had, you could change all the colors of the keyboard to like half of it's purple, half of it's blue. Dude, I'm infatuated with the Lenovo ThinkPads. I read this review of a Lenovo ThinkPad. It has 15 hours of battery life.

It's supposed to have the most tactile feeling keyboard. This guy did a review of it, and he said that the keyboard itself... I saved it. Hold on a second. He said that the keyboard itself was so good that it actually upped his words per minute faster than his average was, which I was like, what? How is that even possible? Yeah, but that seems like bullshit. Who does that? Well, you always say that, man. Lenovo ThinkPad T50 review, and it's on Laptop Magazine. I would do it except for having to deal with Windows. LaptopMag.com.

Yeah, but I mean, have you tried the newest Windows? What is Windows... What are we on now? 10. Windows 10? For real? That's hilarious. But it's supposed to... The keyboard's supposed to be amazing, and the battery life's supposed

to be crazy. I'm just bored. I just want to try something else. I know that Apple, and also you can take the battery out. You have a separate battery. Remember when you could do that? Yes, I like that. I like the fact that you keep a fucking full battery with you.

There's a new cell phone that came out. That's their kind of pitch. I think it's LG or something. It's got a slide-in, slide-out battery, and it comes with an extra one. Well, my Galaxy, until the recent one, my Samsung Galaxy had that, and it was waterproof, and you could take the battery out. It was still waterproof. God damn it. You used to be able to carry an extra battery.

Throw it in your laptop bag, and your laptop was running out of battery. Close it. Pop that bitch out. Pop the new in. You're back in action. Fully loaded. Well, now you have those portable charger, battery chargers, and things like that. So it's kind of unnecessary.

What's really interesting is- Are those as good? Oh, yeah. I have one that can charge up your iPhone, I think, two or three times. Your iPhone. But what about your laptop? Laptop? I mean, they have big battery packs.

You've had one before. I had one. I went hunting. I brought one with me that I didn't even want to be using because I was so tired at the end. I was like, I am going to document this like William Shakespeare. I'm going to be like Hemingway out there in the field. Fuck that. At the end of the day, you've walked 14 miles up mountains.

You're exhausted. You don't want to do shit. You take a shit in the woods, dig a hole, go your tent pass out but um i carried it around it was probably at least 10 pounds it was huge but it worked worked when you need it you don't like typing on ipad i'm sure no fuck ipads yeah i like a button man i'm a tactile person i like to feel buttons like even it took me a long time to get used to the iPhone. But the iPhone's benefits of touching the screen, having the full screen real estate for videos and photographs and email,

it's so worth it. It's so worth it. Because I know that BlackBerry came out with a new one with a giant-ass screen, and then the thing slides out the bottom, and then you have a keyboard. Not buying it. No. Enough is enough. You could just get the iPad Pro with a keyboard, like a real keyboard.

It might snap right on. Yeah, but you can't save files. You can. No, you can't. You can't put Microsoft Word files in a folder on your desktop. Yeah, they have Microsoft Word now. Not on your desktop. You have to put it in the cloud.

You can have an equivalent thing. You can? It could be close to you. Nowadays, it's... Close to you close to you what do you mean no close to that oh similar does it go in the cloud or is it uh uh it probably is saved on your ipad i bet like you could use like the docs app for google or something like that they have pages for that's on that you can save it on something so offline use it's cached yeah and the new four speaker system on the ipad pro is badass there's four different speakers and it detects if you're holding it so like if you're holding it on the left side it'll make uh the bottom left louder you know to you know it knows

where your hands are the only time i would ever use that though is in a hotel room and a hotel room i have one of those little bluetooth speakers those tubes it's so good man it sounds so good i bring that fucker with me to green rooms now because i sometimes you're in a hotel room, I have one of those little Bluetooth speakers, those tubes. It is so good, man. It sounds so good. I bring that fucker with me to green rooms now. Because sometimes you're in a green room and you're listening to some C&C Music Factory and shit. And I'm like, come on, man. This is not what I want to hear when I get ready for a show. I want to hear my shit. So I put on some cool music.

It's great, man. It's great to have one of those little things because it's so small. put on some cool music. It's great, man. It's great to have one of those little things because it's so small. Has anyone ever asked you or have you ever thought of having your own playlist

before you go on, I guess? I don't know. Oh, for the theater? Yeah, for when people are... I don't want to infringe on the creative rights of the guy who's the sound guy. But in that situation,

you just said right now you got someone picking C&C Music Factory to warm up your crowd. I'm totally making that part up. But it could happen. But no, there have been some bad fucking music. There have been some bad music.

Wait, where the fuck did you get C&C Music Factory so randomly? I think it was something really shitty from a long time ago. That's hilarious. Things that make you go, hmm. Things that make you go, hmm. You could have a nice little, even if you just put in your warm-up or your workout playlist and just have those rock songs with a couple of hip-hop songs. That would be good to play for 30 minutes

while someone's warming up instead of anything random. Love Shack or B-52. Yeah, they do that a lot. But sometimes they get good songs. There was a place we were at the other day in Santa Barbara. We did the Arlington Theater, which was fucking awesome. Hinchcliffe Diaz and I did this theater in Santa Barbara. It was great.

Fucking, I love Santa Barbara. That's my spot, dude. That is the spot. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I know. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want anybody to know about it. It's such a nice city.

You know how much land you could get out there also if you guys just went a little deep get some lamb grow some cattle um but anyway my point being they had uh they were playing some music i saved it on my uh shazam and it was uh it was some sort of um spanish music like some spanish rock that i'd never heard of before and they're singing it in Spanish. I was like, god damn, this is awesome. Whatever it is, I love it. I don't remember what it was though. One Direction.

No! Can I see that lighter? Five seconds. Spark up my Q-Bit. What'd you say, Jamie? I was going to give another shitty bit. It's called Middle. It says DJ Snake featuring Bipolar Sunshine.

Bipolar Sunshine. What's that even mean? I don't know, man. I don't know. But see if you can find that. I got it. Listen to this. This will fuck us up.

Let's find it. It'll fuck us up on YouTube? It's got 50 million views on YouTube. Oh, okay. It'll definitely get us yanked off. Bipolar Sunshine is such a cloudy... Can't play like a little snippet of it? I can get it for the audio.

Okay, for us? For the audio listeners. Okay, so the YouTube people won't hear this part? Okay. You YouTube people. Should I sing along? Is this definitely the one that I... This does not sound like it.

How do you know what you've seen? No, that ain't it, Jamie. Oh, this is it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Try this. It is A-L-E-G-R-E-2-0-0-3. Yeah, Alegria.

And then there's like a little space, 2003. Truby Trio. This is what it was. What that one was that I just said was one that just showed up at the front of Shazam, and I mistakenly thought it was the last one that I Shazammed. Is that a verb? Shazammed. Shazammed.

Shazammed. It is now. I fucking love Shazammed. That is such a great application. You know, you don't even have to use it anymore. You can just use Siri. She does it now. I don't like that bitch.

Yeah, what? Yeah, this is it. This is definitely it. Does this have any hits online? So, do the YouTube people hear this? Or no? You don't even hear anything, YouTube people. You're like, what is happening over there?

You're going to have to go to it. It sounds like drums. They don't hear me either. No, it's good, dude. It gets going. But what I like about Spanish music is I don't know what the fuck they're saying. So it's cool. I get the emotions and I get the vibe, but it's ambiguous.

Have you ever listened to Rusted Root? Rusted Root? That sounds like your dick. No. After you bang a checklist on the period. emotions and they get the vibe but it's have you ever listened to rusted root rusted root that sounds like your dick no after you bang a chick was on the period oh god no yeah it's so big an 18 inch root keep this going if the youtube people don't hear it do you think it'll get us pulled off itunes that won't happen right right? That hasn't happened yet. Yeah. But Joey Diaz's cousin has a band from Cuba. Oh, it's awesome. They're fucking amazing.

And they're on my playlist here. Oh, really? Yeah. Alfonso X. X Alfonso. It's X-A-L-P-H-O-N-S-O. They're a fucking bat. What is that?

That's the thing that was, the root that was pulled out of a dude's ass. Come on, son. Yeah, he used it for sexual play. Come on. Cassava root from the anal cavity. Oh my God. Well, it takes about 35 years of ass fucking

to take so much dick in your ass and winds it up to take that root. We're looking at a root that is about the size of Jamie's whole leg. Right? If you had to guess? My arm, I don't know. Your arm? No, go back to that.

I deleted it. You see that photo? That looks more like a leg, dude. That's like a baby. You know what? That's like Tate Fletcher's forearm. Yeah. It's like a big giant man's forearm. That's like myate Fletcher's forearm. Yeah. Like a big giant man's forearm.

That's like my dick on the boner pill right there. Is it? Yeah. Same color too. Yeah. Right? It'd explode like an Oscar Mayer wiener. Did I tell you I used suntan lotion on my dick and it actually made my dick black? Well, brown. You mean tanner? Self-tanner?

Tanner, because I didn't have any lotion and I was like, whose tanner is this? It was like an ex-girlfriend's. I'm like, well, this is lotion. And so you turned your dick to black. It turned it to like an orangish-brownish. And it was so weird because it actually changed the color of my dick. Wow.

So between that and the boner pills, what kind of birth defects do you think your children would have? I'm adopting an Asian girl. You're going to go Whitney Allen style? Yeah. Don't do it. Raise her to be an awesome girlfriend. I'm like you're gonna go Woody Allen style yeah don't do it raise her to be an awesome girlfriend I was listening

to this I was listening to this Woody Allen thing the other day it's Woody Allen on comedy it's really interesting because it's Woody Allen

there was two things that I bought one of them is Woody Allen doing stand up in like the 1960s it's good he's good

he was a very good stand up man he was a good comic. Why are you shaking your head? I just, he's a whiner to me. It wasn't that whiny back then. It wasn't that whiny back then. It was, it was a different style.

I mean, it was, it was different. He was a different guy. He was a young guy and he was known more of as a comic. And then there's also an interview where it's woody allen talking about the process of creating comedy and what he did and that's kind of after he had stopped yeah that's it right there those are the two of them woody allen on comedy and then woody allen stand-up comic those are the two that i was listening to back to back it's just you know i try i'm not i'm certainly not sympathetic to like what he's done i mean he's such a fucking weird. And what he's done, just the fact that that girl was his daughter.

And I guess it's so creepy to me, right? To everybody. But looking past that and just trying to examine him as a human being, what a complex and weird human being he is. He's pretty fascinating. And I don't think he's victimizing anybody else, at least as far as I know. So I don't, I don't have any judgment.

I just, whatever. He's not in jail. So no one's, no one's going after him. So whatever. I'm, so I'm,

I'm just watching his life. I'm just, or looking at his life and he's such a fascinating character, man. You know, he is a jazz musician and for a while he did, he did a documentary before everything got real ugly, right? Where he was going around.

Was it before everything got real ugly or was in the middle of it all? But he went around playing jazz concerts. Like that was always like sort of like a dream that he had. So he went around doing a bunch of jazz concerts. And he writes all of his scripts yeah there it is wild man blues 1997 i wonder who named it maybe it's ironic is it ironic calling him the wild wild man blues or is he really a wild man i wonder when was if so if that's 97 when did um all this controversy take place? I think before this, right?

Well, I don't think so because that's 20 years ago. So 20 years ago, that girl was like 10. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's just weird how we still celebrate Woody Allen, but yet fucking Cosby, forget about it. We celebrate Woody Allen, but Cosby forget about it. Well, Woody Allen seems to have fallen in love with a girl that he adopted, which is just crazy. Yeah, that was in 1992 when it started as just a, quote, fling.

Okay. She responded to someone paternal. Woody Allen reveals secret to his 23-year relationship with Mia Farrow's adopted daughter, which at first he thought was just a fling. Woody Allen went to rare details about his relationship with Soon-Yi. They got together while he was dating her adopted mother, Mia Farrow. Now married, Soon-Yi, 44, and Allen, 79, have been together for 23 years.

Whoa. I see what she looks like. So she was 21 when they started getting it on. Eek. Allen said, well, he's 80 there, dude. Yeah. I mean, she is, she's half his age, and she's 44. She likes that daddy dick.

I mean, what the fuck, man? Yeah, she's 44, and he's 79. That is crazy. She's almost half his age. Wow. They've been together for 23 years. Hold on a second. Go back.

Go down. No, go down. No, no, where it was? Yeah, thanks. Alan says it worked because he was paternal, which helped her flourish. And these are in quotes. Paternal and flourish are in quotes. He also reveals that he thought it would be just a fling when they started.

Fling? I mean, you just raped her or something. Well, he just got away with fucking his daughter is what it was. It was weird, man. So weird. He looks so odd in that photo, too. And that's 92. Wait, how old was she when they adopted her?

Like 17? Because then I can get into that. Was this article from 92, Jamie? No, this is published 2015. Oh, why'd you say 92? No, the fling started in 1992. okay well that makes sense because how the fuck was she yeah okay that i'm retarded because in 1992 that makes sense wow that's so weird though dude so he talks about it now and they've been married forever see that's what's fucked up about it. What's fucked up about it is it worked.

They've been together for 23 years. They have children. Look at that photo of them. Let's scroll down. Look at that photo. They're smiling. They're arm in arm. They're happy together.

It's fucked up, but it works. So at a certain point in time, I mean, they're not genetically related, which is always the big concern, right? The big concern was that your genes would be, if you had sex with someone who was your actual daughter, your genes would be all fucked up and you'd, oh, she's kissing him on the cheek. She seems to love him. Shovelhead.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's like, we have these ideas of what's okay and not okay. It certainly seems fucked up but if she was 21 when it happened she was a grown woman and she decided you know what i want to fuck my dad my sort of dad the guy who lives across the lives across the city he lives on like opposite sides of the park or so in this picture i mean yeah i could see what he was doing he was probably fucking her though at this age that's what the problem is. You think so? As a parental, you know, he should not be.

He might have, like, raised her to want that dick. Ooh. I mean, if you can adopt a girl at 17, maybe find, like, I mean, that's not bad, right? Because it's like if you were, like, a parent to a kid for, like, six months. Yeah. Well, I'm sure that's been done. Wasn't it, like like Ted Nugent? It wasn't a jokingly hinted at for a long time before they actually came out and said

like, I don't know. But Ted Nugent did that. Ted Nugent adopted a girl. So like, but Google that. There was like some crazy controversy. Because I mean, that might not be a bad deal. Checking out some of these orphanage websites and just finding the 17-year-old ones.

Maybe something to it. See if, but just Google that. Well, he wrote songs about having sex with young ladies that were very young. Underage Ted Nugent pic. Ew. Yeah. He became her legal guardian.

He became her legal guardian. That's what it is. He didn't adopt her. She was pic. Ew. Yeah. He became her legal guardian. He became her legal guardian. That's what it is. He didn't adopt her. She was 17. Perfect. That's exactly. He's ahead of his time. But back then, okay, what year was this when this happened?

All right, get rid of these photos. Gross me out. What year was that? 1978. 78. How much different were things back then? Do you take that into consideration? Yeah, you have to.

Almost all the time it's hard to consider the context of what's going on, right? Yes, or the context in the culture at the time. Because we were talking about that with Socrates. That Socrates was, you know, they were all pederasts. They all liked to bang young boys. It was real common back then. pederasts they all like to bang young boys it was real common back then and but yet no one no one like has a little asterisk next to everything socrates said you don't say but remember he used to bang little boys you know but if that was today you would so as far as like

woody allen did it's creepy but is it? It just depends when it started. And if it started when she was 12 or something like that, then he could have totally fucking brainwashed her to the point where now she just thinks she has to be with him. And there was Mia Frowell's other daughter was saying that he did something to her too. But Woody Allen was saying that, would it be Us Magazine all of a sudden?

I'm going to stop right here. Jamie's been talking about it all day. How dare you? Yeah, Jamie. It's Kobe Bryant's new sneakers right here. Jamie's been talking about it all day. How dare you? Yeah, Jamie. It's Kobe Bryant's new sneakers are out. Dude, check it out. Last day. Shut your mouth.

How do you even know that? $20,000 to go to that game if you want to go. What? Yeah. Who would pay that much money for a baseball game? It's basketball. Yeah, who would, man? Some crazy Kobe fans.

There's some kids from, they're American, but they left Italy to follow him around all year. Jesus Christ. And they spent a bunch of money. They haven't spent how much in debt there, but they've gone to like 30 plus games all over the country. That's not good. Some crazy fans he has. A lot of them are Asian, though. He did a really good job marketing himself in Asia.

Did he? How did he do that? Nike. They took him over there every year in the off season. He would go play and do exhibitions and whatnot. They were doing it to get the Asian market into the NBA, and it worked. They make a lot of money off the Asian market, way more than I would say they make in the United States.

Obviously, there's more people there, but they love basketball there. Stephon Marbury left the United States, went and made a lot of money there. He's going to retire as one of the most famous Hall of Famers in Chinese basketball. What happened to Lynn Sanity? Obviously, I'm on the outside. I don't hear about that dude anymore. He's in Charlotte right now. That's why.

But what's happening? Is he doing well? He's okay. He's just an average, really good point guard. What the fuck happened during that one time? He was in New York. And what was he doing? He just kept hitting three-pointers or something?

He had a really good streak of like 10, ten games where he played extremely well, and they needed some hype to wait, and he was playing into the hype, and it worked out. And now it's over? It's not that it's over. It's just there's other things to talk about. Yeah, but how come, like, me on the outside? I'll show you.

I find out about athletes when they're in trouble or they do something crazy. They have to do something, like, really good. Like, that's the only time. And I remember thinking, I remember thinking, well, look at there. Finally, the Asian people have some super fucking badass basketball player

other than the giant guy. This is what he was doing. He was doing a crazy hairstyle this year. He was dragging Ball Z out his hair. This year. Crazy spiky hair. But like I said, he's playing in Charlotte,

which is a smaller market, so there's less people talking about it. When he was playing in LA, which he did smaller market, so there's less people talking about it. When he was playing in L.A., which he did a couple years ago, after the whole thing happened, which was a part of getting the Asian market into playing in the NBA and liking the Lakers, there's a lot of Asian people in L.A. that they can get money off of. So he was in New York, he went to L.A., he played in Houston for a little while, but now he's stuck in Charlotte, which is why you don't hear about him.

Oh, okay. Well, also, he hasn't been setting the world on fire. Right, and they're not one of the top teams. But they play against the top teams, right? Yeah. So if he was, like, super awesome, you'd hear about it. Right, and you still do. If you'd tune into SportsCenter and see the top ten or something like that,

you would hear about his name here and there. Right. He's just kind of, like, faux K. Faux K? What does that mean? He's okay? That was a pun. That was a Hinchcliffe.

I didn't get it. Faux-K? Why faux? You're not soup. Oh, that's soup? That's Vietnamese. He's not Vietnamese. It was racist.

Not only that, I don't think it's faux. I think it's really you say fa. Fa. Yeah, which, hey, listen. Spell it different. I know, gyro. How about that? Yeah, why do you think you can get away with using our words different?

You know? You're over here using our language huh would you get your own fucking way to say an r so wait if it's it's pho yeah so then why do so many of the pho restaurants always use it as it's like pho like because they know that we're stupid ah no we don't bother researching what the actual word it's like how many people called ho hoist Gracie Royce Gracie because they were, you know, unaware that you have to pronounce the R like an H when you speak in Portuguese. Yeah.

I like how Joey Diaz always a hundred percent says gyros and I has to know gyro. I've been having these fucking gyros lately, dog. Yeah. Joey Diaz do whatever he wants. I like when he screws up people's names. It's half the fun.

Half the fun. Where the fuck's Dom Herrera? He's supposed to be here. He's going to text me. I was trying to ask you yesterday, Joe, about this Facebook camera and what you thought about it. Whoa. I showed it to you. It's 17 cameras put together in one to make.

It's called the Facebook camera. They announced it. They're not selling it or anything like that. It's going to cost $30,000 to put it all together. But supposedly it's going to make seamless 360 video. Holy shit. So people can watch it. The guy that has the scene.

Well, how long before that flies around? Yeah, so if you could put it on a drone, that'd be pretty cool. Dude, that looks like a UFO. I mean, this thing that you're showing me right now looks exactly like a classic ufo doesn't it yeah like if they could figure out how to way to make that like put some sort of a inside fan makes that thing hover and move around that looks like a ufo they they sell one that's like that one that they sell kind of like at Best Buy or Amazon, though. It's the same idea where it just records in a, right?

It records like a 360 thing, but you can't really do anything with a video other than the VR. Yeah, there's a lot of trouble right now going into it. When we brought this up the other day, a lot of people were asking us, hey, you guys should do it. It would be totally awesome, which it would be cool for us, but there's a lot of hurdles to get to. Well, you had a real good point, too.

We said, remember when people were going, how come everything isn't on 3D TV? What about 3D TV? Why aren't you doing your show on 3D TV? Now try to find a 3D TV. Nobody has one. ESPN killed their 3D broadcasting, which they probably only did twice. It's not ready. Yeah.

None of that stuff's ready. But I think it's going to be like Oculus Rift. Like it wasn't ready until it's ready. You know, like for the longest time when we were kids virtual reality was a thing like there was even a movie where was it lawnmower man yeah i mean it was based on like we thought oh my god any day now we're going to be in virtual reality and it never took place because the computing power and the graphics and everything just wasn't ready but now that it is ready like thatVIDIA demonstration that they did with all the crazy shit that you can do with virtual reality and those Oculus Rift goggles.

What is that, dude? Lawnmower Man. That is Lawnmower Man? Mm-hmm. Really? Was it that cheesy looking? Yeah. No.

It used the same animators from Beyond the Mind's Eye, if you ever watched that. That guy that was in Lawnmower Man, the guy on the right, that dude was in a bunch of movies. Yeah. He was one of those movie stars, and I don't remember his name. I don't know his name either. I don't know who he is, but that guy was in some big-ass movies. He was always like the creepy guy. He's one of those dudes like the dude-where's-my-car guy.

After he's not doing those movies anymore, it becomes like my car guy like after he's not doing that those movies anymore it becomes like hey or american pie the american pie guy yeah what's oh jeff leahy well he's actually pretty famous i remember his name it's just me i forgot his name that guy's been in everything though talking about stifler yeah stifler yeah what happened to stifler i just saw a video on him yesterday and why he hasn't been marketed. He just had a couple, quote-unquote, bad roles, if you will, where the movies failed, where he was like a leading man. But he's been in all the Ice Age movies. He's still doing pretty well for himself, I'm sure.

Oh, well, you're in this on a nice feel-good moment, Jamie. Beautiful. All right, Dom Herrera is going to be here next. We're going to pause this bitch for a moment and then bring in the great Dom Herrera. These Death Squad dot TV mugs that Brian brought in, how long are they

for sale for? They've just got a new shipment in, so they're on, the big ones are on sale and this shirt, which is the original Death Squad shirt

but it's remixed and hat. All sent to you via stamps.com. That's right. Go to Death Squad dot TV for more info.

Brian is tonight at the Irvine Imp Brian is tonight at the... Irvine Improv and tomorrow at the La Jolla Comedy Store. With George Perez, right? I know. Tonight's Dean Del Rey, Joe Bartnick, and tomorrow's Sean Halpin. Excellent. Excellent comedians.

Excellent show. Go check that shit out. DeathSquad.TV. Brian is RedBan on Twitter. Young Jamie, for some reason, has not taken the Young Jamie Twitter name. I have it. It's just I decided not to use it. Nonsense!

It seems silly. It is your name. You are Young Jamie. Someday you're going to be like Bertrand Russell. They called me Young Jamie. And for the first 50 years, I resisted the moniker. I'll get stuck with Young for my whole life. You are Young Jamie.

That's who you are, bro. I'll take it. It's a good name. You're a handsome fella. All right, fuckers. We'll be back in a little bit with the great Dom Herrera. See you. See you.

See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you.

See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you.