The Joe Rogan Experience - #787 - Eddie Huang
Episode Date: April 19, 2016Eddie Huang is a restaurateur, food personality, sandwich hack, and former lawyer. Check out his new show "Huang's World" on VICELAND, and his new book "Double Cup Love" releasing on May 31, 2016. ...
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Onyeee...
Yes! That's it! We're live!
We're live.
It's live. What's up, baby? How you doing?
How you doing? Good!
Good to see you, brother. That is a very colorful- you got a lot going on with that shirt.
What's happening?
Fishing. Fisherman's outfit. Yeah.
Is that what it is?
It's a- it's an old Nautica shirt I found.
Oh, it's like- it's a shirt that has pictures of rain gear hanging up on hooks.
Yeah, and binoculars and boots and nets and shit.
It's a very powerful shirt, nautical-themed shirt.
Yeah, it's like a nautical shed theme where you put your nautical gear.
Ice fishing, I think.
Do you fish?
I did in Orlando.
I used to fish a lot.
Yeah?
Yeah, I couldn't party for a couple years.
I'd get tested, so I just went fishing after school.
Instead of partying?
Instead of partying.
What were you getting tested for?
Just, you know, like your probation officer will show up at your crib or whatever.
Oh, what did you do?
What did you do to get you a probation officer?
I had like a, I think we talked about this before.
I had like an assault, like my second year of college.
I caught an assault charge.
But it was a self-defense.
Self-defense.
An assault charge.
Self-defense. Self-defense, an assault charge, self-defense,
self-defense.
So I pled out,
but,
um,
no,
me and my buddy,
Justin Foreman,
like,
uh,
I couldn't go party,
but he would come pick me up and we just go fishing on the lakes and shit.
So Orlando's got really good bass fishing.
Yeah,
no,
it really does.
I love fishing.
I'm way into bass fishing.
Like really?
Like large mouth.
Yeah.
Large mouth.
I do the rubber worms. I do the, like the frogs? Yeah, largemouth. I do the rubber worms.
I do the frogs off their lily pads.
I do all that shit.
Spinner baits, all that jazz.
Crank baits.
Yeah.
Little Rapala, little minnows and shit.
Yeah, mine was the watermelon seed worms that bounce off the floor.
Oh, look at you, dude.
Did you ever get one of those boats, those little bass boats with the flat bottoms and you can move around with a little trolling motor.
Yeah.
So what we did was I had a canoe.
I had a canoe at the crib.
But then on the other lake, we saw this onboard motor that the dude had just left on his dock.
So one night we were young.
It was like high school or whatever.
So we stole this dude's motor and put it on my canoe.
So we were cruising with the fucking the on board motor on my canoe.
How did you install it on a canoe?
Because a canoe has a pointy end as opposed to a flat end.
I don't know.
My boy Justin figured it out.
I have no idea how he fucking did it.
But it doesn't make any sense.
He rigged it up to put it on the back of the shit.
But because a canoe has two points.
There's a point in the front and a point in the back.
Yeah.
How the hell do you get a motor back there?
He did it. I have no idea. He caught he caught it was it a um a trolling motor like a real quiet one or was it
a big heavy like it was the quiet little one you can put in the front right that little little
thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the idea of those is you want to like almost kind of go against uh
the uh like if the tide is pulling you one way or the, you know, or move along the bank, you know, in freshwater, you can use them.
Actually, they're probably only used in freshwater.
Only because you could creep into the lily pads.
Yeah.
So we'd creep in and there was like a drop off on this lake on the butler chain and like around sundown, just fish would just be right there.
If you get to the drop off, you could hit them.
I love fishing.
It's so fun.
There's something primal about it. There's something primal about like when you catch something and you see it like when you're
like i got one i got one i got one yeah and as it's coming up you see it in the water like oh
there it is yeah oh my goodness it's it i think it goes back to like ancient dna or something
yeah it's it's also you just you can feel the life on the line you know you can feel it but i was a
catch and release i used to eat them but then I started feeling bad because I was going out every day, so I just let them go.
If you really feel bad, don't catch and release.
Because when you catch and release, a lot of them die.
That's the dirty secret about catch and release fishing.
So you just eat it.
It's kind of creepy because, like, I went salmon fishing, and this is really kind of brought home to me when I went salmon fishing.
Me and Ari Shafir, a couple couple years ago we went up to Alaska and uh when we were like right when we were getting up there
they had turned into catch and release because they they have like a salmon weir do you know
what a weir is it's like um they have these uh sort of uh pathways that the salmon have to go
through and they set them up so they can add they can accurately count how many salmon go through at any given time so they can estimate how strong
the schools are that are coming upstream and downstream so they can estimate pretty pretty
accurately how many salmon are in the river what the populations are how healthy they are
so the salmon we're there it goes right there you can see see it. They got, like, right before we were going up there, they got poor numbers.
And it was kind of ironic because the day we got there, the numbers were off the fucking charts.
We got there at, like, one of the best days for salmon fishing ever.
But we had to let them all go.
It was real weird.
But we were catching a shitload of them.
You couldn't keep one of them.
They didn't even let you keep one. them No we couldn't keep any of them
We caught a rainbow trout I got to keep that
It was pretty rare you don't really get too many rainbows up there
But the salmon were giant
But we were catching them all day and releasing them
But you release them and you're like
This motherfucker ain't gonna make it
You see some blood
Sometimes if it gets hooked deeper than the lip
And stuff like that
I felt alright about mine I would get them out of the lip but you're right sometimes if they swallowed the bait
if they swallow the bait i'd take it you know right if it was in the lip i let it go well some
fishes don't taste that good either that's the thing about largemouth yeah they're not delicious
fish yeah that's fucking cat food bro like a salmon salmon's a delicious fish yeah but a
largemouth bass is like yeah i, I guess I could eat this.
Yeah, saltwater fish, man, I'll keep them.
If they're the right size, I'll keep them.
You can freeze them, whatever, they're delicious.
But freshwater fish, man, you don't, I mean.
Except for trout.
Trout tastes really good.
Yeah.
Is that brackish water?
No.
Most trout are freshwater, but there are some brackish water, like steelheads, I think,
that go into the ocean. Yeah. You know, isn't like steelheads, I think, that go into the ocean.
Yeah.
Isn't that correct?
I think steelheads make it into the ocean, or they get at least close.
They definitely get into brackish water.
Salmon, of course, go back and forth.
You still fish out here?
Yeah, man.
I love fishing.
Different places.
For freshwater, there's Lake Castaic, which is nice.
They have a lot of actual striped bass, which are great fresh water it's it's it's kind of an artificial lake um but right now
they're hurting because this drought that we've had up here for the last few years like it used
to we used to film fear factor up there and especially there's this place called uh to hone
ranch this is the most shocking there's this place called to hone ranch that had this beautiful lake
for largemouth bass.
And we used to drop people on Fear Factor out of helicopters in this lake. Now the lake is completely dry. There is nothing in the lake. It's dead, totally dry, completely flat. You can see
the bottom of it and it was a mass fish die off. And they said there was some beautiful, huge,
10 plus pound bass that just died
in that lake of no air no water no nothing that's crazy so you could see it in the lake it's just
dead fish everywhere there's not well now you can't because all the birds picked them off and
it's all gone because it's been like that for over a year yeah but it just completely dried up
there's no water when a lake dries up it's just thanksgiving for birds yeah yeah well
for a little while damn birds get diarrhea sad man they must get diarrhea right they probably
eat anything though birds can yeah they eat a lot of shit i mean they eat a lot of shit off my patio
i drop food i throw it out there man seagulls eat anything so uh how you liking west coast living
baby i like it like it. You like it out here?
You know what?
Fuck the winter.
Yeah.
I'm way into living out here.
I'm not into the people as much yet.
I'm still like, I like New York people.
You're like gritty.
I like haters.
You know what I mean? New York got haters.
You like haters?
Yeah, I love haters, man.
Why?
I was telling a friend, New York's got people.
You do well, people in New York want to hate you.
You do well in L.A., people just want to work for you.
And I'm like, you know, go away, man.
Go away.
Come on.
I'd rather you hate me and criticize me than I know, like, what to work on, you know?
Interesting.
Like, in what way?
I'm Asian.
I like criticism, man.
It just reminds me of my mother.
Oh, that's funny, man.
So, what, like, how so?
Like, when you say that new york has more haters
like when you're doing when you're becoming successful in new york what you felt like
like just much more criticism much more much more scrutiny yeah it's never like yo you did a great
job it's like yo that was all right man that was all right but let me tell you what you really need
to be doing and so people will actually put you on to things and whatever.
I like criticism.
I like feedback.
I like it when it's valid and it's coming from people that aren't retarded.
Agreed.
That's a problem.
YouTube hate, not so much.
YouTube is the best.
It's just entertainment.
Well, here's the thing.
Have you ever left a YouTube comment?
Yeah, I talk to them all the time.
Do you? It's funny.
But have you ever left a YouTube comment on something other than your own videos
Yeah, really? Yeah, you're rare. Yeah, most people's fun. They watch YouTube videos and they enjoy it or they don't enjoy it
That's it. They walk away. They move on with their life. You're a rare dude in that case
Yeah
I think for the most part 80% of the feedbacks terrible but every once in a a lot of our lower thirds on the show, like the nicknames we use and shit, it's like fans in the YouTube comments.
Leave them.
And this is all the Vice stuff.
On the Vice stuff, on Wong's World.
Yeah.
Right.
So they give me good suggestions.
And I'll keep in touch with some of the people I talk to on YouTube.
And Instagram commenters are pretty fucking good now, too.
Well, except when they have their accounts blocked.
It seems to me that if you look at 90% of the cunts on Instagram, when you go to their accounts, they're blocked.
That is the land of the cowards.
Instagram is the land of the cowards because you can't do that shit.
You can't comment on someone else's stuff in most forms unless they can go to your stuff and look at you.
But on Instagram, they allow you that option, and I think that's for cowards.
They should take it away.
They should take it away.
You should own up to the things you're saying.
Well, here's my feeling.
If you're going to be private, you shouldn't be allowed to comment.
Like, if you're going to be private on Instagram, you shouldn't be allowed to just go on other people's pages and shit all over them.
Yeah, I agree.
Because I've read some just mean, nasty fucking shit that people write on these girls' pages about what the girls look like.
I'm like, oh, what does this motherfucker look like yeah and I go because all I could see of your face is
this like one eighth of a centimeter face and so then I go to their page and it's blocked yeah
you'll see I'll see on homegirls like pages and stuff there's dudes who say I want to come on
your titties and she's like eating with her grandmother do you know I mean I'm cool come on
man it's rude yeah comment on the dumplings or something. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Oh, grandma had a nice dumpling over there.
Especially if they're worried that the grandma might actually look at the picture with her granddaughter.
And be like, they're out there trying to come on my granddaughter's titties.
Luckily, my parents are only on Facebook.
My parents are fucking killing Facebook now.
Yeah, see, Facebook is the most transparent.
You go right to someone's page and you see exactly who they are and it's a different animal.
Instagram's weird in that way.
Some people don't even have a photo.
You go to their Instagram page, there's no photo.
It's all blocked up, but then they just use it to comment on people's pages and shit on them.
YouTube and Instagram, like I said, 80% of it's terrible, but it's always entertaining.
It's fucking super fucking entertaining.
Sometimes it's not that entertaining to me
because I feel like there's so much spinning your wheels.
I like these people that are like super mega negative
on these things.
Like this, you're not getting it.
No one's getting anywhere with this.
This is just people with failed lives.
The negative ones are bad,
but there's some good fucking jokes.
There's some comedians in the comments, man.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
They got some fucking jokes in there.
Well, it's not all negative.
Yeah.
Definitely not all negative.
Yeah.
But as far as comments, I would say Instagram comments.
I'll walk through a mile of shit to get to a good joke.
I like a good joke.
I'll go through miles of shit.
I would say Instagram comments are probably the best out of all.
And, well, Twitter's pretty goddamn good, too.
I mean, I'm real fortunate in that I would say that more than 99% of all the interactions
I have with people online through social media are positive.
More than 99%.
It's probably like 99.9.
It's really good.
Well, because people love you.
Mine is probably, I think, like 70, 30.
People love you too, man.
Come on, dude.
I put you up on Instagram today and people went crazy.
They're super happy to have you back.
Thank you.
Especially they found out your fisherman shirt was rocking it too.
Ice fishing gods.
Woo!
You wearing a Fitbit?
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on, man?
Ketosis.
Got to get to the ketosis, man.
No, you're not going to get to ketosis with a rubber band.
What are you eating?
Got to get to ketosis.
Well, I had a smoothie this morning.
What was in it?
Honey, sugar, fruit.
No, almond butter.
There's no sugar.
It was just almond butter and spirulina.
Oh, shit.
Oh.
Well, you're coughing just thinking about it.
No, I'm coughing.
The coffee, man.
Coffee got me dehydrated.
Spirulina, protein powder, almond butter, fucking dates, and almond milk.
That's all good?
Well, the almond milk. Was it almond milk That's all good Well the almond milk
Was it almond milk
From a store
With a gang of sugar in it
I don't know
I didn't ask
See I'm new to this
Ketosis game
Right
I'm just getting into it
I'm a rookie with it
Well that ain't gonna make it
Most almond milk
That you buy from stores
Unless you look real careful
Like if you buy like
Vanilla almond milk
It's bullshit
You might as well be
Just drinking a chocolate shake
Oh
Yeah
They're low Like Duncan called me up Dude I vanilla almond milk, it's bullshit. You might as well be just drinking a chocolate shake. Oh. Yeah.
Duncan called me up.
Dude, I love almond milk.
It's the best, man.
It's so delicious.
It's really good for you.
I go, it's delicious, huh?
How many grams of sugar is in it?
Oh, I don't know.
Hold on.
19?
I go, yeah.
Dude, you're drinking sugar water.
You're drinking a glass of fucking, by the way, that's an eight ounce glass.
You ain't drinking eight ounces. I'm one of those idiots, man.
I'll wear this Fitbit.
I'll tell myself I'm going to get in shape, right?
And I'll eat healthy all day.
And then last night I got drunk and I ended up eating like a bag of chips and Smurf gummies.
You know?
So that's not ketosis.
That's not the ketosis life.
Well, alcohol too.
Yeah.
Alcohol translates directly into sugar in your body.
Yeah.
It transforms. But I just like to tell myself that I'm trying. Well, what are. Alcohol translates directly into sugar in your body. It transforms.
But I just like to tell myself that I'm trying.
Well, what are you trying to do?
You're just trying to be healthier?
You're trying to lose weight?
I would like to go down a cup size.
A cup?
Yeah.
I'm kind of like a B.
I'm like a 34B.
Yeah?
Standard cup size.
I'd like to be an A.
An A?
Yeah.
If I could get to like 32A, I think it'd help my basketball game.
Because I got the dream killers now, bro.
I want to try out for the NBDL.
What's the NBDL?
The NBA Development League, man.
You could try out.
What?
Yeah.
Anybody can?
Anybody could.
You could try out.
That's not going to work.
Come on.
My dream is alive.
I think Joe Rogan.
I think you got a little Ron Artest in you. Some Metta World Peace. Jamie's dream is alive I think Joe Rogan I think you got a little Ron Artest in you
Some Metta World Peace
Jamie's dream is alive
I'm gonna go down a cup size
And try out for the NBDL man
Okay
Do this
Do you play a lot of basketball?
I play a lot of basketball
And watching the Knicks this year
I just
I feel like I could do some things for them
The Knicks are so fucking terrible
Is it that bad?
Yeah
How could the Knicks be terrible?
The Knicks need me If they're in New York?
They have money, right?
It's a giant ass team.
There's a lot of bad things you can buy with money, like Carmelo Anthony.
Oh, is he bad? He's terrible.
Really? He had a good year this year,
but it's just like,
he's not terrible. He's a bad
fit for this team because he needs to
be on a winner. And I'm like,
he resigned with the Knicks knowing it was a rebuilding team,
and he should have gone to Chicago, honestly.
Should have gone to Chicago.
Or we should have traded Carmelo for Blake Griffin.
That would have helped the Clippers and would have helped the Knicks.
This is a lot of technical talk that I'm not really hip to.
All right, we'll move on.
New topics.
So you're just trying to be healthier is what you're trying to do.
Yeah.
Also, I got hoop dreams, Joe. You do have hoop dreams? For real? I still believe. I still play ball. on new topics so you're just trying to be healthier is what you're trying to do yeah um and you try
so i got hoop dreams joe you do have for real still believe i still play ball i go to ucla
i'll play ucla play usc and i go to montecito heights rec center monday wednesday fridays i
got open run montecito heights where's that it's like pasadena oh i'll drive an hour every monday
wednesday friday mornings to go play ball. Really? I love it.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Last year, I just turned 34 last month.
And last year was the first year I was like, yo, I actually got a lot worse at basketball because I was getting incrementally better.
Right.
And I was like, yo, I think I'm getting old.
This was the first year I felt old.
I guarantee you it's just because you're busy.
34 is not old enough where your body starts deteriorating.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Do you lift weights?
Yeah, I do weights.
I do plyometrics, isometrics, this kind of.
That can fuck with your basketball game.
In a bad way?
Yeah, I used to fuck with my pool game. It was a big problem that I like to lift weights, but I also like to play pool.
And when you lift a lot of weights, you get sore.
And when you're sore and stiff, it fucks with your fine motor skills.
It would really fuck with my pool game.
Yeah, no, my jumper is trash right now.
Yeah, I think a lot of that has to do with lifting weights.
It could.
For a lot of people, when you're sore, like all the – you know how like –
I guess I don't play basketball and I'm terrible at it,
but I would imagine that it's similar to pool in that you've got to know
exactly how much effort to put on that ball. Exactly. You know, I know like when I crumple up a paper
and I throw it in a trash can, it's a weird thing, right? Cause you kind of estimating the drop,
you know, the arc of that little thing. It's, you have to have this fine sense.
I'm going to send this video to everyone on my squad and be like, guys, you got to give me the
ball more shoot. I'm just missing shots. Cause i'm too strong now lifting too many weights what it is that's
not wet too swole too swole i'm way too swole for this game it does fuck i mean this is a there's a
like sort of a point of diminishing returns when it comes to lifting weights and then doing fine
motor skill activities yeah it used to fuck with me drawing, too.
If I lift a lot of weights, my hands would get tired from gripping and squeezing things.
And then when I would draw, my fine motor skills with my hands would be off.
It's true.
It does affect it a lot.
Our team, we had this team called the Molly Boys.
So that was my record.
The Molly Boys?
Like they're all on Molly?
Yeah. Is that the idea? We all was my record the Molly Boys like they're all they're all on Molly is that the idea
but we all met
hanging out doing Molly
and then we made
what an athletic crew
yeah
a lot of energy
very positive squad
super positive squad
everybody's hugging everybody
it's okay dude
you missed
give me a hug bro
yeah we lose by 30
it's cool man
I love you
little sticks in your back pockets
yeah no we look like fucking clowns our jerseys had like molly ringwald's face on them and it
said molly really yeah oh that's hilarious please show me i want to put that shit online yeah
you gotta fucking join the squad joe i'm in molly boy's jersey dude i'm in come on i think i think
i might even have one in the fucking back seat of my car. Molly Boy's jersey with your name all over it.
I need to have that.
After the show, you got to give me that photo, and I'm going to put it on Instagram.
Because that is goddamn hilarious.
My boy Bernard designed this shit.
Molly Boy's.
Yes, here it is.
Look at these jerseys.
Oh, my God.
What ever happened to her, man?
I don't...
She's been in a couple films.
I saw her in something in the news recently, but no.
I don't know what happened, man.
That's a weird world.
She peaked.
Yeah.
She peaked, bro.
The 80s movie world is a weird world.
I'm surprised that people selling press pills haven't put her face on a press pill yet.
That would sell like wildfire.
There it is.
Anybody out there making press pills in your bathtub, put Molly Ringwald's face on them.
I know, right?
You would think that would be the one.
I think people forgot about her.
People forgot about Molly.
They forgot about Hov.
You should sell those.
You should sell those and forget about Hov.
Yeah.
You know what
This is for the love
I'm only giving them to friends
Like you
You get a Mollywood jersey
I get a Mollywood
Yeah it's in the trunk
Is it
I have one left
For real
Oh my god what size
Cause I'm pretty swole
You are fucking swole
You might be too swole
For the jersey
Hanging up on the wall man
Dude I'll wear it
I'll stretch it out
I don't give a fuck
You make it a Jamaican tank top
Yeah I'll make it something
I only wear at the gym for the
gun show i like it so so you're doing that three times a week you're playing basketball that's
dedication yeah i would think that alone all that activity that would be a great way to lose weight
yeah my fitbit says i'm doing work it's great the fitbit and the scale disagree though well it's
the food then it's definitely the food.
It's food.
But you're a chef.
Yeah, but you make delicious shit.
How hard is it when you make delicious shit to eat non-delicious shit?
That's a problem because it's almost like, imagine for a guy like me as a comic.
What if I was a comic, but the only way to be healthy was to listen to shitty jokes?
Oof.
That's kind of like what's going on.
Yeah.
Because you describe yourself as a sandwich artist.
Yes.
But ultimately what you are is an-
The illest subway employee of all time.
It's, well, there's a lot of Jared jokes in there, but we're going to keep moving.
But you're making delicious art, you know?
Yeah.
And then you're eating styrofoam, you know?
Yes.
My problem also is I make fire, I eat it, but then later on at night, even if I'm not
making it, I will eat anything.
You put anything in front of me, I'm going to eat it.
So you're a late night dude.
Late night is
where i really do the damage and then the booze too the booze is a problem but i've been i've
been drinking less drinking less just smoking weed you know i think i'm gonna get there what
next time i come in here i'm gonna be shredded oh where's the beach so? So if you just cut out carbs, you can still eat delicious shit.
Like that's the beautiful thing about like trying to get into a ketogenic diet.
There's like delicious steaks you can eat.
You can eat some sweet potatoes.
You can eat like sweet potatoes.
Yeah, just don't eat too much.
Yeah, fiber.
But just don't eat too much. Yeah, fiber. But just don't eat too much. The whole idea is
to take in as little sugar
as possible
and have your body
start operating
off of fats.
What else is a good fiber
to eat besides sweet potato?
Like,
what do you do
for your cravings?
That's what's killing me.
Discipline.
That's what I do.
Fuck.
This stuff is,
this stuff is called
ketogenics.
Yeah.
This is,
these are exogenous ketones.
These are all minerals and amino acids, and I add these to water.
And what they do is they put your body in a state of ketosis pretty rapidly.
Wait, this can put you in ketosis by itself?
Yeah, that shit can put you in ketosis.
So somebody was telling me this, right?
They're like, if you don't eat carbs, then your body creates ketones.
Exactly.
And then it starts to eat your fat.
Exactly.
And I was like, can I just fucking do a line of fucking ketones though?
Like why can't you just put these fuckers in your body and it starts attacking your fat?
Is that what this does?
Yes.
Well, what that does is those are exogenous ketones.
And ketones is what your body burns off and it's not burning off carbohydrates.
There's a couple of benefits to it.
I'm not a scientist and I'm not a scientist,
and I'm not that smart, so I'm going to butcher this.
But essentially, one of the biggest benefits is that
when your body's eating carbs all the time,
your body feeds off carbs, for me at least,
what I would do is I'd have these big peaks and then these crashes.
Like I would eat, and then after I ate,
I was like a bear that got shot with a tranquilizer dart.
I'd be like, rrrr.
You see those bears?
They're collaring.
That would be me.
Rrrr.
I just, it would crash hard, man, hard.
And then also, after I ate, about five hours later, I'd be fucking starving.
Where my body had processed all the food and then i'd hit this place like fuck i gotta eat
i don't get there anymore i don't get to there to that i gotta eat thing like i can go 10 12 14
hours without eating and i'm fine i might be a little hungry but i feel good like i've worked
out after 16 hours of not eating and be fine like what i'll do is i'll go to bed like early
early at night and i'll work out at noon with nothing, eat nothing in between that time, and work out at noon and be fine.
Bro, we sound like the girls I knew in high school, though.
I could go 16 hours without eating.
Oh, the girls that are throwing up?
I love it.
I love it.
Yo, but this is also Al Bundy's favorite flavor, natural orange.
Remember when he made the tape?
If you eat an orange, if you eat an orange, it tastes anything like this dog shit.
Yeah.
Throw that fucking thing in the garbage immediately.
So this would defeat the purpose of Kagenix, though, if I did the Bundy and I made, like,
a tang sandwich with the Kagenix powder.
Exactly.
Okay.
Don't make the tang, which.
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
But I do love this stuff.
I put this stuff in water, and I mix it up, and I drink it all the time.
It's a little sloppy.
This envelope's a little sloppy.
I need to come up with a good sort of a funnel to get in there.
But what I do is I just kind of shake it in slow.
Yeah, you're smart, man.
You're doing a little one.
What I do is I make a little hole and I just put that little hole over the water bottle.
You probably should use an actual glass of water.
Oh, this isn't enough water?
No, it's fine.
It's good.
I mean, it's just going to be real strong.
But I'm just saying if you had a glass,
then you could mix that bitch up solid.
Like this Joe Rogan glass here?
Yeah, right for you, bitch.
Oh, what's up?
Plus, I like the idea of you drinking in my face.
Yeah.
Drinking a mug of my face
So how long have you been trying to do this?
Be healthy in
34 years
It hasn't really worked
You just gotta write down that you don't allow yourself to drink at night
Or allow yourself to eat shitty food at night
If you could just do that
Yeah I started keeping it out of the crib.
And then the good thing is, you know how L.A. really helps fat people?
Is there's no bodegas.
See, in New York, it's like you could just walk downstairs and be fat and eat anything you want.
That's true.
And I miss bodegas.
That was the big thing.
But in L.A., they've taken the bodegas away.
Yeah, New York City.
Yeah.
Yeah, New York City has a lot of weird spots where you can just show up. Well, New York City has restaurants that are open 24 hours a day that are really good. Yeah, New York City. Yeah. Yeah, New York City has a lot of weird spots where you can just show up.
Well, New York City has restaurants that are open 24 hours a day that are really good.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Incredible.
L.A. has a few, but they're super ethnic.
Like, you can go to Thai Town, and you can get some late-night Thai food.
Love it.
I'm kidding, man.
I'm kidding.
There's some fucking badass Thai food that's open up in L.A.
Yeah.
If you take Hollywood or Sunset?
Hollywood.
If you take Hollywood down and keep going east, there's a-
Oh, bro, that is not orange.
That's what I'm saying.
Right?
Someone needs to go to jail for lying.
Oof.
Call that orange.
Natural orange.
So Hollywood and Sunset, you go out there-
Yeah.
Well, take Hollywood east of Highland, keep going.
And on the right-hand side, maybe like four or five miles,
there's like a whole Thai area.
You'll go through like these areas where it's maybe like 20 or 30 Thai restaurants
in a row down there.
And there's one place that's open.
I'll take you down there, man, if you want to go.
I'm down. There's one place that's open. I'll take you down there, man, if you want to go. There's one place that's open late at night. I used to go with my buddy Rob.
Rob Kamen, world kickboxing champion.
He took me down
to that place after training one night.
It's fantastic. It's open until 2 or 3 o'clock
in the morning. What's the name? I don't remember the name
of the place because it's some funky name.
I've been going to Thai town to this spot.
Sop Coffee Shop is good, but they're not 24
hours. They're good, though.
Thai coffee is hilarious because, I mean, why don't you just shoot sugar into my veins with a needle?
Yeah.
You know, like Thai iced tea and Thai iced coffee.
That stuff is –
It's insane.
They put sugar and condensed milk.
Yeah.
Like one wasn't enough.
Yeah, it's double sugared up.
Yeah.
But it's so yummy, right?
When someone does the organic Thai spot or whatever, it's going to be sugar, condensed milk, and agave.
That's what they're going to do.
Agave is supposed to be super bad for you.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, everybody thinks that agave is like, it's all natural, man.
It's agave.
Agave is really good.
Agave is apparently converted into your body just like sugar, just like cane sugar.
Uh-huh.
I know.
If you don't know, not gonna know.
I never thought it could be too great for you too, though, because it looks like it's
made from the same thing they make tequila from.
So I'm like, right?
Tequila bad for you?
Mm-mm.
True.
Okay.
Could be good.
Could be good.
Depends on who you're with.
Long-term bad, short-term incredible.
Mm-hmm.
It's a trade-off.
Again, depends on the company you keep.
Yeah.
You know?
So this stuff, exogenous ketones.
This is the way to go.
It's a good little pick me up in between meals too.
I feel hot.
Yeah.
Do you?
Hot like sexy?
Yeah, real fucking sexy.
Like thin?
Like real skinny?
Yeah.
Real fucking hot boy over here.
The skinny look.
Yeah.
It's coming back.
Bringing it back.
Mine's mainly for basketball, man.
But also, I've been a human panda for a while.
I'd like to be a human red panda.
They're a little more athletic and agile.
Red pandas?
Yeah, I see them in trees and shit.
Oh, they climb.
I'm kind of jealous.
I'm like the fat fucking panda stuck to the floor.
Do you have a trainer?
Yeah, I do.
Really? I do. I've been training with this dude the fat fucking panda stuck to the floor. Do you have a trainer? Yeah, I do. Really?
I do.
I've been training with this dude, Justin.
He's good.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
He started this gym called Lit Method.
It's been pretty good.
What kind of shit do you do?
Well, I do isometrics, plyometrics, and then sometimes I'll do weights, and then I play
ball.
So that's kind of like the four things I do.
You ever fuck with kettlebells?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kettlebells are good.
I do the kettlebell swings and shit like that, and then step-ups with kettlebells? Yeah. Yeah. Kettlebells are good. I do the kettlebell swings
and shit like that
and then step ups
with kettlebells.
Right.
Yeah.
I like kettlebells.
I feel like you gotta get
to a level of buffness
for kettlebells
but I do.
No, you can start
with light ones.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The right way to do kettlebells
is this interesting podcast
that I've been listening to
with this guy
Pavel Tatsulin.
He's like
sort of the guy
who brought kettlebells to America.
And he's on Tim Ferriss' podcast.
I want to say number 55 or 155.
Yeah, I just found it last night after you told me about it.
It's back in this catalog, but it's around 50.
55, right?
Yeah.
He has two podcasts in a row.
And he talks about the correct way to do kettlebells and the correct way to strength
train and one of the things that he's saying is you should never do more than five repetitions
you should like say if you can lift something if you have a hundred pounds you can lift a hundred
pounds nine times you shouldn't do it nine times you should do it five do it five then put it down
don't don't go to failure and the idea is the body's not designed to go to failure the idea
that going to failure all the time you think think, we have this idea in our head,
and I'm guilty of it more than anybody, is that more is better.
I'm going to fucking work harder than everybody else, and that's what's going to do it.
Well, that's not really the right way to do it when it comes to the human body.
Because even though your mind can push your body to extreme limits,
oftentimes you get better results by not pushing your body to extreme limits,
by pushing your body to extreme limits by pushing
your body intelligently allowing your body your body sufficient time to recover and then doing
it again and then doing it more often but with less repetitions so this is the thing i i've been
joking around like oh i would lose weight is that it's true i want to do it for basketball but the
thing i love about working out and basketball is it teaches you shit like this right because i think everything in the universe has the same principles do you know
what i mean like if you're cooking more is not always better right if you're making music more
is not always better right like putting more things into a beat yeah you need negative space
right things need space time to breathe and then so does the human body and so i agree i don't do like exercises to
fail i do them and um my trainer's pretty good like we'll go in and we'll do like 18 different
exercises and we switch each time it's not like sets of three and going increasing in weight
you've seen uh i'm sure you've seen this uh jiro dreams of sushi yeah yeah amazing yeah one of the
things that i love about that is the simplicity of this guy's methods i mean that if you haven't seen that documentary man. I was so skeptical
I'm like I'm not watching a fucking documentary about a dude who makes sushi like how fucking hard is it to make sushi?
Cut the fish shut the fuck up. How hard is that? It's hard as fuck. It's hard
But the the methods of this guy employees like you would think
Like how hard is it to do?
Well, it's not necessarily that it's hard, but there's a right way to do it.
He's figured out, like, do you add this amount of this or that amount of this?
Do you let it sit for six hours?
Do you let it sit for 12 hours?
And he's nailed it and got it down to a science.
But if you did anything more than what he's doing, it would actually be less.
Yeah.
You know, like a nice piece of seared ahi, for example. is that it's not hard at all you get a fresh piece of ahi
you sear it but goddamn when it's done right it tastes good yeah every culture is it's similar
you go eat like the original food the traditional food authentic like i went to sicily it's just
red tuna sicilian red tuna on a griddle. The best restaurant I went to in Sicily was doing tuna on the griddle, low heat with olive oil, and it was just salt.
And it was the best piece of seared tuna I ever had.
Wow.
Yeah.
We went to Piccolo Napoli on the Sicily episode.
It was good.
They're big on seafood, right?
Sicily's huge on seafood.
Sicily's incredible on seafood, and they're very smart because they don't add much to it.
They just use their olive oil,
they're low heat, sear,
real nice,
take their time,
it's incredible.
Well, I think that
minimalism in a lot of ways,
like even in music,
like sometimes you listen
to an acoustic song,
just a dude and a guitar
or a woman and a guitar
and it's the best song
you've ever heard
for that moment.
I mean, if there was
one more piece of fishing equipment on this shirt, it'd fucking suck.
Right.
It'd be terrible.
There's just-
Extra nets.
A couple extra nets.
There's just enough fishing equipment on this shirt.
You love that shirt, dude.
I do.
I fucking love this shit.
It all comes back to this shirt.
Tell me about your new vice show, man.
What do you got going on?
It's been, you know what?
This has been, since I've met you, it's been in the works it almost i feel like it's a five-year journey really started this
idea we and then we went through it did it on the internet you know eight minute clips 10 minute
clips and we did that for two years and the last two years i haven't had any episodes out because
we've just been grinding and we've been in the lab eight episodes and it took us eight years.
And I have to give respect.
You know, a lot of people look at, say, other travel shows or Tony Bourdain.
And you hear a lot of people pitch things around town in New York.
Oh, yeah, this is like the new Tony Bourdain or that's the new Tony Bourdain.
You know what?
We got in the lab and we made an hour-long travel show.
It's a similar format and, you know, thing that Tony is doing because he created this format.
And I have to pay respect.
It's hard as fuck.
Well, what Tony did was he was the first guy that ever had a cooking show that I wanted to hang out with.
Yes.
And Tony is the first one that put a narrative to a cooking show.
He gave it a narrative and a story and character.
And so he created this format that
a lot of people have like followed in his footsteps. But I've always felt like, you know,
when I started, people were like, oh, next Tony or whatever. And Tony was really helpful to me in my
career. And he really supported me. But I was like, you know what, my purpose in life wasn't to be
another version of my dad. My dad wanted me to work in his steakhouse when I
was a kid and just be like, you own this restaurant after me and we're going to sell steak. That's what
the Wongs do. And I was like, dad, I don't think that can be the point to my life. It can't be just
to emulate you and be like you. And when it came to me doing this vice stuff, I've been for five
years figuring out how to get my voice and my story and the things I care about to translate to tape.
And it looked it maybe looked a lot easier than I thought it did.
But once you get to it and you start to see what really makes these shows great, you want to honor it.
You want to respect it and you want to work hard.
So we took two years to make these eight episodes.
Wow.
That's a long ass time.
took two years to make these eight episodes wow that's a long ass time well i think you know when you're trying to create a television show it takes a while for a show to find its legs right to figure
out what it is yeah with anything even with a sitcom or a talk show you know i mean uh i was
there for the early days the conan o'brien show one of my buddies was one of the writers and i got
to see them do it and it was i was there going, wow, it's going to be interesting to see how this works out.
Because this is obviously on Bambi legs right now.
It's like a fawn.
Yeah.
My thing was I always had the vision and I knew what I wanted to do.
So that was part one.
Then the last few years have been actually doing it.
And then once you do it,
the hardest part in this town is convincing other people that they should put it out. You know, because other people look at it and they once you do it the hardest part in this town is convincing other people that they
should put it out you know because other people look at it and they're like oh well it's not like
it's not like tony and it's not like this show like what is this and i'm like just it's different
and that's the point because i didn't want to go make a show that's like anybody else's it may be
the same time format and you say 44 minute travel show, unstructured reality, whatever. But I was like, this is a new thing.
But it took me a long time to get the vision, create it,
and then get people to believe in it.
Getting people to believe in your shit is, I think,
that third step is the hardest part.
Well, who do you need to get to believe it?
Because you're doing it on Vice, right?
Yeah.
Shane already believes in you.
Shane is the one that gives me the freedom.
Shane, Eddie Moretti, they're the ones that let me do it.
But they're not there every day.
There's a showrunner and there's a producer and there's all these people in between.
He's out in Fukushima shooting radioactive wolves and shit.
That motherfucker.
He's the man.
I saw him last night.
Shane's the man.
And he always gives me the freedom.
But it's even the people on your crew, getting everybody to buy in and believe.
And we came back with the footage.
And these things, it gets in a post.
And then everybody who gets to watch it in post has an opinion about what this show should be.
And I just fought and fought and fought all eight of these episodes.
Finally, we're going to put them out.
And all eight of them are exactly how I feel about the places I visited and the people we met.
And my biggest struggle was travel shows.
They voiceover a lot.
There's a lot of voiceover.
And it's almost like these shows are written before people go to these towns and these cities.
And what the people say sometimes doesn't matter because the producer or whoever is going has already decided the story he wants to tell.
because the producer or whoever's going has already decided the story he wants to tell.
I go out there and we book the scenes
and the thing that made everybody nervous
in pre-production was,
I was like, I don't know what these people are gonna say
and we're gonna live with the footage.
And they're like, no, you have to have an idea.
You have to like direct the conversation.
We need a right voiceover and we need to set it up.
And I was like, let's just go to these towns,
meet these people and let them tell us about their lives, their cities, their identities, and accept the footage.
And I think being honest, accepting footage, not manipulating the footage with a ton of voiceover is the real innovation of our show.
It's verite.
You see us making the show.
So it's never like you're not aware we're making a show
you see it
what is the
what is the premise of the show
I'm exploring
and deconstructing identities
through what people eat
you're basically like
going through their shit
like what's in your poop
you know what I mean
you're a fucking red tuna
olive oil you know
but I'm going through
these countries
and exploring
their history and identity
just through what they eat
because what you eat tells you so much about who you are, your culture, your values, your
politics, and your history, and what has happened to your ancestors.
Like, where'd you go?
Sicily, Istanbul.
Istanbul?
Yeah.
Hunan, China, Shandong, China, Taiwan, Orlando, Juarez, Mexicali.
Damn, you went to Juarez
yeah
went to Juarez
it was great
people were incredible
it's not scary
you know
I don't
I never would oversell it
until you know
it's fucking
it's fucking scary out there
I mean
look everyone there
had a story
of somebody in their family
being killed
or kidnapped
or robbed
it's bad
you know
it's bad
but when we went out there
I cannot claim that it was hard or rough for us.
We rode bikes through the city
and there's a lot of these kids out there
doing things trying to take back Juarez.
So you may look at a bike ride through your town here
as some hipster, weird, yuppie thing,
but in Juarez, they're like,
we would just love the right to be yuppies,
have the freedom to be yuppies in this town.
We can't even ride our bikes without a problem here.
So we rode bikes with like 50, 60 kids in Juarez, just kind of civil disobedience, trying to take back the streets by riding through them.
So is it when you say they would like to be able to ride bikes, like it's just because of the drug violence?
There's a lot of violence.
There's a lot of violence.
People are afraid to go outside and um this is one of the symbolic things that the youth out there do is they try to take back the city and the town by riding through it with bikes
the butter coffee's got you huh yeah you keep yeah no the coffee's killing me but yeah it's great
i mean so like what kind of food obviously mex but, like, what kind of food were you getting in Juarez?
The best food I had was outside the nightclubs.
There was this one little taco stand in Juarez on the main strip that, you know, the Rolling Stones, whoever used to go perform at the main venue in Juarez, after the show, there was this small taco spot.
All they do is like El Pastor.
You go over there, and that was the best taco I've ever had.
What does that stand for, El Pastor?
What does it mean in English?
The pastor?
No.
I don't know.
I just know you get pineapples, and it's grilled pork,
and it's on a spit.
It's incredible.
My thing is usually tongue.
I like lengua.
I like beef tongue tacos
But that out past or taco was the best I had Wow and the Rolling Stones used to go there
Yeah after the shows and stuff like that. How long ago were they going to Juarez Mexico?
It's like in the 70s 70s. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah and out El Paso
They would do the shows in El Paso and then cross over and shit like that. Really?
Yeah, so do shows in El Paso and then go to Mexico for food.
And then they also did them, I believe, I have to catch myself.
I have to check the tape.
I can't remember if it's they did the shows in El Paso and went to Juarez to party after
or it's they did the show in Juarez and went to the taco stand because they did have a
venue next door to this thing.
So I think it's some bands did El Paso, came over.
Some bands did the venue next to the taco spot and went over.
But it was a combination.
It's crazy.
The Rolling Stones, I can't remember if they were El Paso or Juarez,
but there were tons of bands in that triangle going back and forth between the border.
And people would come across the border to party in Juarez, and it was a thing.
Well, it was no big deal back then.
That's what's crazy is that when I was a kid, you never heard about violence inxico people to go to mexico to party everybody go to acapulco yeah you know
people would go to tijuana tijuana was just fun i mean it was crazy you know they would all talk
about donkey shows and all the crazy shit you go over there and see but it was never like don't go
to tijuana because of drug violence yeah that all happened during the bush administration yep like i went to um uh cancun
in like uh 2002 or something like that for mtv and mtv did a spring break thing down there and
man it was it was fun it was great and then within seven or eight years nobody would go yeah i mean
within seven or eight years everybody's terrified of going to Mexico. All you heard in the news, and I'm sure a lot of it was exaggerated.
And I mean, if it bleeds, it leads, right?
If the news is going to show you some shit about Mexico, it's not going to show you
Al Pastor tacos and how great it is on the street.
No.
The murders are real.
But then the thing is, is that we have to remember, in all these towns, you see these
murders, you see the gang violence.
There's real people living through that shit.
There's real people trying to live normal lives.
And that's why we did this episode on the border towns of Mexico.
We went to Tijuana, Mexicali, and Juarez.
And we tried to show the lives that these people are trying to live next to a superpower.
Because just by the sheer nature and geography of them living on the border next to a superpower, of course, crime is going to leak into their towns.
The dirt's going to be done on their side.
The product's going to be sent to our side.
And so we tried to capture their lives.
And so that's an example of one episode of the show.
Well, the other problem is their economy is completely connected to the United States in a lot of ways.
Whereas there's plenty of violence in America that we don't even consider.
Like nobody's scared to go to Chicago.
But Chicago is fucked up, man.
There's more gun violence in Chicago than almost anywhere in North America.
Yeah.
And Chicago is terrible right now.
Yeah.
It's definitely in America.
It's the most murders in any cities.
It's right up there.
I think it's Chicago and Detroit.
But no one's like, oh, my God, we can't go to Chicago.
Because it's all on the south side.
Go to Chicago.
Yay.
Let's go to Chicago.
We don't even consider it.
Yeah.
It's all on the south side.
But, I mean, that's sort of the same way people have to look at about Mexico.
Although I do have to tell you this one story.
I went to this resort recently in Mexico near Puerto Vallarta.
And I was like, wow, this place is so pretty.
Like, how is it that Mexico has all this drug violence and all these problems, but there's this beautiful resort,
and all these wealthy people go to vacation at this resort, and they have these little golf carts that they give you on the resort to move around the resort.
And we took the golf cart, and they're like, you can go into the city if you like.
You know, you can take the golf carts anywhere you want.
It's like, all right, let's go into the city. So we go into the city if you like you know you could take the golf carts anywhere you want it's like all right let's go into the city so we go into the city
and we went a block from that resort one block and we found a fucking small military based with
armored vehicles with dudes sitting on there on machine guns with steel plates in front of them
ready to rock yeah at a moment so so that's how they keep these wealthy people protected.
I was like, wow, this is a wake-up call right here.
And that's the thing that our leaders never do a good job of.
That violence on the south side of Chicago, that should affect all Americans, but it doesn't.
And until it affects somebody who doesn't live in the south side,
and the murder accidentally bleeds into the wrong neighborhood on the north side nobody really cares nobody pays attention and that's why we went
to mexico too because there's this border that is a false border like mother nature didn't put a
border there we put a fucking no no god made that border son god made the border between united
states and mexico god made it that way god has has a plan. Exactly. We are the chosen people. Exactly. And
so I just wanted to show like, hey man, on the other side of this artificial line, this is what's
going on. And just because they're a different color than you or it's a different country,
it doesn't mean you shouldn't care about this. Like this is a human problem. Well, people are
so terrified of opening up the borders of Mexico and letting people go back and forth. They're so
terrified of the idea, but how many Mexicans are already over here illegally?
It doesn't seem to be that much of a problem.
I mean, there's plenty of natural born Americans that are fucking things up just as bad as
anybody else.
And most of the Mexicans I know are hardworking people that are very friendly.
Like if you go to Mexico, one of the things you find like right away is how friendly people
are.
Mexico's a nice place.
It's an incredible place.
It's great.
Super nice.
I never felt threatened or anything.
And the thing is that the world needs more transparency and mobility.
The thing that I noticed for two years traveling around the globe,
going to all these places, Mediterranean, Sicily,
where there's immigration issues, Istanbul, Mexico, on the borders,
we need transparency because
the leaders of this world are drawing lines all around, creating divisions that are not there
between me and you or Jamie or people in Mexico that I met, you know, and we need to have mobility
because it can't just be my dumb luck that I was born in America and that I'm going to have a
better life because my mom popped a squat
here. Right. You know, it's
sad. Like, I go around the world, I'm like, man,
if that person was born here, they'd probably
be doing a better job than me at what I'm doing.
Well, it's eroding. It's eroding slowly
but not quick enough.
You know, what used to be a necessity,
like, we had to keep our tribe
away from invading tribes because we couldn't communicate
with them. We didn't know their language.
People came from some other land to try to take our resources.
We had to protect it.
They would come over in boats and they'd rape and pillage.
That's not really the case anymore.
So this necessity of having these borders and especially in 2016, having it where you can't go back and forth.
You can't even cross into lands unless you have the right papers.
And you definitely can't work here because you'd be taking our jobs.
Yeah.
Taking our jobs.
There's plenty in the world, man.
Like people and the 1% got to get better at sharing too, you know, because there's people
in the world that just sit on piles of shit and it's not in the economy.
It's not in the ecosystem.
White people.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, man.
There's Middle Eastern. There's Chinese too. There's a lot of Chinese people sitting on piles of shit that's not in the ecosystem white people say white people is that what you're saying there's middle eastern there's chinese too there's a lot of chinese people sitting on piles of shit
that's not moving yeah well that's yeah well stockpiling wealth is a weird thing right when
people get to this point where they just constantly well if you have like billions and billions of
dollars but yet you're still involved in constantly trying to accumulate wealth that's a little weird
too i wanted to run this idea by you please because I listen to the show and I love the ideas you bring up.
I'm convinced,
and I wish there was a politician
that was promoting this,
but I think there should be
a salary cap on the world.
A salary cap?
A salary cap.
Because you put it in sports
and it works, right?
But think about it.
Do you,
would you ever need
more than $500 million?
Me?
Yeah.
You think so?
I've got plans, dude.
Come on.
For real. i need islands
and shit rocket ships i want to go to the moon i feel like you could go to the moon for under 500
mil i guarantee you can't isn't there that one dude the backstreet boy uh lance bass oh yeah
he's gonna go to the moon on a big dick come on that's what he's gonna do but okay so you you
would need more than 500 mil.
I don't know.
No, no, not in real life.
Not if I'm being serious.
Do you know how much money would get put back into the market
and would be distributed if you just set a salary cap at 500 mil?
That would break up so much money.
It's interesting, but someone who makes more than $500 million
could take that
money and start a gigantic business and hire hundreds of millions of people i mean just
because you have i don't know did you just promote reaganomics bro trickle down economics is real
just like god had us born here in america god also made it so you don't have a salary cap yeah um
it's interesting but if you play Monopoly,
which is what everybody's doing,
there's a game.
What's a game?
Capitalism, in a lot of ways, is a lot like a game.
You're trying to accumulate.
Some people are more dedicated to that game
and they try to accumulate constantly.
I mean, if I was
more dedicated to just doing
the things that I do, if I was more dedicated in a capitalist sense, I would accumulate more money.
But my personal belief is that would fuck with me creatively because it would take away resources that I use for other things.
It would fuck with the way I do the podcast.
If you only think about how much money you can make, there's certain things you wouldn't say, there's certain ways you wouldn't speak.
If you only think about how much money you can make, there's certain things you wouldn't say, there's certain ways you wouldn't speak.
And the irony in my business is that would ultimately cost me money because my product would suffer.
So I think in a lot of ways the game of capitalism itself, just calling it a game, it's very problematic if you have a cap on how much money you can make in that game.
Because there's always going to be these outliers, these Michaelordans of sport that take things to the fucking nth level and go deep and want to make as much money as they possibly can and i don't necessarily think
that that's bad i think you should have the freedom to be fucking crazy you should have the
freedom if you want to make you want to be the first guy that makes a hundred billion dollars
you should have the freedom to do that but as a human being who makes that much money, you also should have an understanding of what kind of an impact you can have on other people with that money.
From your own personal perspective, you can take that money and invest it in different communities.
You can start programs.
You could give people scholarships.
You could do all this amazing stuff with that money that you wouldn't be able to do if somebody put a cap and said, you can only make 500 million
bucks. But here's the way I see money, right? Money is something we've created. Money is a
man-made creation. This idea of money is to attach value to things. That's what money is. So the game
isn't making money. Money is like an award. So it's like if a movie director was like, yes, I make movies to win Oscars.
That's not what the game is.
It should be to make a great film.
It should be to live a good life.
And we reward you along the way because if you do things that are of value to a society, we pay you.
But the game is basketball.
The game is football.
The game is movies.
The game is podcasting or truth telling.
It's not
making money and that's where i think human beings in society have lost their way because
now it's just about winning the award it's not about doing the work right but where's that money
go though here's the problem here's the problem say if you say eddie wong could only make 500
million dollars a year but all of a sudden you're bowling and and you hit that ceiling you're just slamming up against
that ceiling every year and you're like you know what man I would have made three billion dollars
this year but I only made 500 million because there's a fucking cap on this bitch I could
have taken that money I could have invested it in communities I could have started all these
these centers for uh young kids and but that's the thing the people I know and you if let's say you had $500 million you couldn't make anymore,
I bet you'd still do this podcast. I bet
you'd still be working out. You'd still be telling jokes.
I'd be living on a mountain, ranting about
the government. Where's the rest of my fucking money?
Yeah, and you'd be taping it. But what would you do
with the rest of the money? How's it work? So like, say
if you made $3 billion
one year, but the cap was at
$500 million. So they just
cut you off.
And all the rest of that money goes where?
Yeah, your idea sucks.
No, come on.
Throw that fucking idea away, son.
I have a few answers.
Oh, the government?
Give it to Bernie Sanders.
Not enough.
It wouldn't be the government.
We're going to redistribute the wealth.
No, I think that you have to then find a way to distribute it through nonprofits and things like that.
Right. And then you get like Red Cross where like 80% of the money goes to bullshit. It doesn't
even go to the actual people. We would have to build a better infrastructure. We would have to
build a better infrastructure for social services and public interest and things like that. Because
yes, the nonprofit sector, a lot of the times it's super ineffective at remedying the issues
that everybody's giving them money for.
Well, the problem is that there's so much money involved in red tape and bullshit and employees and overhead and all the different operating costs.
When you look at the actual operating costs involved in charities and you compare it to how much money actually goes to the charity that you're sending money to, it's disturbing.
It makes people feel sad.
that goes to the charity that you're sending money to,
it's disturbing.
It makes people feel sad.
But I'll tell you this,
like, I just think that we have to reconfigure our values and how we value things.
And like, we're stuck on this money thing.
Like, the human species is,
we're stuck on money.
Well, I think we're stuck on money
because a lot of people don't have it.
Yeah.
And so it's the ultimate thing.
And some people have too much of it.
Some people do.
Like, when you don't have money, like, when I I was young and I didn't have any money, man,
I remember the first check that I got, I got a big check from Disney.
I got a development deal when I was like 24.
And all of a sudden I didn't have to worry about my bills.
It was the first time in my life I didn't have to worry about my bills.
And I was like, my rent is taken care of this month.
I can go out to eat.
And I remember it was like a physical feeling of like, like a physical feeling of relaxation.
Like now all of a sudden the overhead cloud of debt and worry about my bills had lifted and the sun was shining.
And I was like, oh, and I will never forget that feeling.
Because that feeling was a revelation as far as like how much stress I was under and most people are under on a daily basis.
So because of that stress, what people think about is, man, I got to make money because that is the way to get away from this fucking stress.
Yes.
Because it becomes this carrot that you never get to eat.
Yeah.
A dangling carrot, you know?
Money gives you freedom.
And my brother Emery's idea with the salary cap thing is he's a bit of a futurist.
He's like, yo, I read a lot of these things.
Robots can do a lot of our agriculture in the future.
We can have a lot of our processes that require human beings to clock in and clock out and
punch buttons to go to robots in the future.
Oh, I see what you're trying to do.
You're trying to get rid of the American farmer.
Okay.
And so he says this.
He says this, right?
And he was like, some people want to play the game, Eddie.
He's like, you wake up every day.
You want to write.
You want to go do something.
You want to be productive.
He's like, some people, they just want to live.
And so after the salary cap, after 500 million, what if that money from those billionaires
and one percenters goes into guaranteeing a baseline amount of wealth?
Maybe it's $30,000 and it goes to American people who are not making that much money.
And it's like, here's $30,000.
Here's your bills taken care of.
Here's an apartment.
Now you have no excuse.
You have no excuse.
Go do something you care about.
Go do something you love.
Contribute back to society.
Because this wealth that this guy is making is going to guarantee you a baseline amount of living.
If you really do like reading YouTube comments, read the comments on how retarded that idea is.
Because people are fucking lazy.
They are.
And if you give people guaranteed money, they're not going to do shit.
They're going to jack off into the street.
They're going to take shits on cars as they pass by.
They're going to do whatever.
They're doing it anyway, Bill Joe. People are lazy. They're doing take shits on cars as they pass by they're gonna do whatever they're doing People are lazy. They're doing it anyway
But you remove the incentive to work like if you give people you're gonna create a welfare world
But if you have robots right if you have robots doing this stuff, right?
This is my brother's thing and I'll fight for his idea
Okay, if you have if you have robots that can do agriculture and it's true
There's machines everywhere. They're doing things that can do agriculture, and it's true, there's machines everywhere that
are doing things that humans used to do. In the future, we will have machines that can do a lot
of the processes humans do. And it's like, why continue to penalize people who just aren't,
they don't have the drive and they don't want to do things. It's not penalizing them. They have to
pull their own weight. Like the whole reason why there's an incentive to work is because if you
work, you earn something.
You don't just survive.
You earn something and you get to understand that effort can equal reward.
Now, people don't have effort equals reward.
The government just gives you a reward.
Then it becomes, how come I only get $30,000?
I can barely get by on $30,000.
When Bill Gates has all this money, I should get $50,000 so I can get a Camaro.
But then you're looking at the
worst of the worst. There's a lot of people
I know that work for me. No, it's human nature, man.
If you take people from scratch and
make them entitled from scratch
and just have them programmed
to think that money comes free and it's coming
often, then you have a nation of spoiled kids.
You ever seen a spoiled kid that comes from rich parents
that get everything they want? You're going to spoil all of kids. You ever seen a spoiled kid that comes from rich parents? I agree. They get everything they want.
You're going to spoil all of them.
Let me ask you this.
You're also going to kill motivation.
Do you think you can change people?
You definitely can change them if you give them $30,000 a year.
You can make them lazy.
You can.
You make people lazy, and they didn't earn that money.
You can't just give people money for no reason.
That doesn't help people contribute.
It doesn't make a better society.
It's going to make a lazy group of people. clothing food health services i just want a thin to hurt okay
i want wolves in the streets i want to make it harder i'm kind of into that i want people to
cut into that have to live in the woods for a month out of the year yeah i've just worked with
some people where man there's these people who work super hard and we can't pay them enough it's
not in the budget.
There's not the opportunity.
And I'm like, man, I wish I could do more for this guy.
Then there's people.
Well, what do you mean?
Like what people?
This is a very utopian.
There's guys that work on the show with me.
There's guys and girls that work on the show, APs, things like that.
And I'm like, man, you know what?
I wish we could pay you more because I think you're doing great work.
But the economics of this project and this show,
this is what it is. Then I have people who I've worked with on other shows where they just don't
show up. They don't show up. They don't work hard. They're just clocking in, clocking out,
and they don't care. And I was like, that guy will never change. That guy will never,
I will never change that guy. Well, they might, but they would have to have some sort of a life
affirming experience. Like something would have to happen, a near death experience,
losing a loved one, a revelation, a psychedelic drug experience.
But some of my biggest fights, my biggest failures in life, Joe, is me trying to inspire or give motivation to someone who just does not care.
Yeah, you can't do that.
If you give people $30,000 a year, that's what you're going to get.
You're going to get a nation filled with them. Just go away and don't be a problem.
Look, people need incentive.
Go jerk off somewhere, man. They need an incentive. They need
something to get them to work. And then in doing that, you create people that understand and value
hard work and discipline. And it's not just about making money. It's also about understanding
yourself and knowing that you can accomplish things. And not just accomplish things from a
financial standpoint, but accomplish things as far as going on a diet and taking care of your health, pursuing an athletic goal, pursuing a creative goal of finishing a book or writing a manuscript.
There's a lot of things that people won't do if you just give them money.
I agree.
I've met a lot of crappy, entitled people who they don't give an effort because they don't have to.
There are a lot of those people.
But then I meet a lot of people who they just don't have their baseline needs.
And there's a part of me that's like, man, I wish I could guarantee baseline needs for these people.
Because even if they wanted to work, there isn't an opportunity for them.
Right. But baseline needs. All right.
In this country, if you look at like the amount of people in this country that have baseline need issues and how much money they earn as opposed to the rest of the world, you know
So there's a crazy statistic that I've quoted before if you make more than thirty four thousand dollars a year
You are in the 1% of the world. Yeah the world the planet Earth, but living in America you make thirty thousand dollars
There's some people man
Like they can't even pay parking tickets and they end up in jail.
And they have jobs and they work and it's fucking hard.
Parking tickets get you in jail?
Yeah.
Really? Yeah, there's a few cases.
Not a few.
There's tons of cases where you don't pay your parking tickets.
They pull you over again.
Late parking tickets.
They'll end up putting you in jail.
Like there was a case.
For how long?
I think it was in.
I think there was a couple cases in ferguson
missouri that people were talking about last year with with a woman a couple people who did not have
the money to pay their parking tickets or traffic violations and then over time you can't pay you
end up in jail well and it's a cycle well that's kind of crazy and then they should definitely not
have people look it up jamie you know let not. But they could definitely do better than put people in jail for not.
Parking tickets are fucking ridiculous, first of all.
I mean, if there's a violation as far as someone parking in front of a fire hydrant or something like that,
that makes sense to me.
Or parking in front of a driveway, that kind of shit.
But the idea that you're charging people.
But the idea that you're charging people to park on the street is fucking gross anyway.
That you have a meter and I have to put money in this meter so I could park my car here.
How about fuck you?
These are streets that we're paying for with our taxes, by the way.
This is a public street.
And the idea that you're going to just steal money from people because they have to park somewhere.
It's gross.
And not only that, you have this fucking asshole on a bus or this little scooter thing that goes around and gives
tickets then marks your tire with chalk to make sure that you're you know, you've you've
Not been parking there for more than 90 minutes. I'll give you a ticket for that, too
It's all gross man. All that shit's gross either way next time I come on India have more fully fleshed out salary cap idea
But I'm telling you like I've been thinking about this thing. I like the idea of a salary cap.
That's not going to do it.
I mean, there's got to be ways that are better than that.
And the big way is my feeling.
I mean, I've discussed this before, but my feeling that this country has a lot of places
where you're like Baltimore.
I had Michael Wood on the podcast before.
He's a former police officer from Baltimore who talked about how crazy it is there and how they would find when he was a cop, they found this manifest from like the 1970s.
It was a directive of like how to engage in different areas and where the crime is and where the drug violence is and where the breaking.
And he's like, this was the same shit that we were dealing with in the 2000s.
He's like, it's the same areas, the same problems, the same exact, like, this is where the drugs are.
This is where the crime is.
It was the same thing.
He's like, no one fixed it.
And when you're stuck in that kind of a cycle, that is where the government should be sending money.
We're always sending money to these countries, sending money to Afghanistan and Iraq and trying to rebuild nations.
How about rebuild this fucking nation?
How about all these problems that we have?
If we want this country to be stronger, the best way to make a stronger country is to have less losers.
Now, when you get a shitty hand, if you have two ones but you have four aces, what the fuck, man?
Give them one.
aces what the fuck man give them one well we have to figure out a way we have to figure out a way to make the hands that people are dealt with in life far easier to move with yes and there's a
lot of people that are dealt with a fucking terrible shitty hand and we just turn a blind eye
towards these terrible impoverished communities that are fucking filled with crime and these
children that grow up there by the time they get to be 17 and 18, they've seen so much shit and the programming in their mind is so disturbing because everything
that they've been involved with, everything they've seen, they've seen loved ones get
incarcerated, they've seen people get shot, they've seen crime, they've seen a lack of
hope, they've seen police brutality, they've seen all these terrible things.
That is what we need to clean up in this country, not keep people from making tons of money.
Well, the thing is, all right, if I take the salary cap thing away, my idea is this, though, is I want to guarantee a baseline of living for people in America.
So it's like.
But they have to work for that.
See, you don't know.
What are you just saying, though?
What if someone just wants to sit there, feed me.
Joe, I know a lot of people that want to work and they can't get jobs.
Well, that's a different story, though.
And also, if you're born in some of those communities, the key word you said is hope.
A lot of kids don't have hope.
I remember a kid that I used to hustle with.
He was a good guy.
Hustle?
Yeah.
We sold shit outside the cake shop, whatever.
Weed.
I was selling weed, whatever.
It's not a big deal.
Whatever.
Weed, Xanax, selling a few things, all right?
And then he also was like a night manager at Target, right?
He was a night manager at Target.
It's kind of wasting away.
He was like 19, 20 years old.
Incredible basketball player.
One of the best AAU basketball players I've seen.
And he got offers to play at some JUCOs and things like that.
And I remember one day, we went up to Harlem to get to work and I was coming back down on the
train. I was like, fam, you should sign up. You should go to that JUCO. You should enroll. Like
right now, it's July. There's still time. You enroll now. You could be in there for the fall
semester and you could play ball. You're 19 years old. Do this, man. And I remember we just
passed the stop and he's like, nah, man, it'll never happen. I'm like, why? And he's like, you
don't get it, Eddie. Like the way you are, your parents, like they've taught you, you have a
chance. I don't have a chance. He's like, I've been told my whole life. I don't have a chance.
You know, I live with my grandmother and whether he's right or not, I disagree with
him. He does have a chance, but he had psychologically been broken, had no hope and did
not believe he could do anything. And when I saw that, it fundamentally changed me because I was
like, I'm privileged. I'm privileged because my parents, maybe they beat the crap out of me. Maybe
they were hard on me, but I never, I never didn't feel like I had a chance if I worked hard
right there's a lot of people in this world that just for 20 years they've
lived in America and they're like even if I worked hard even I see my parents
working hard we just never got the opportunity right but there's a piece
I thought bad for there's thousands and thousands and thousands of stories of
people who grew up in similar environments that didn't have that
mindset that even though they were told they didn't have any hope they said I'll
show you I know and they went out and they made their shit happen and they became rich and successful.
Yeah.
That guy could have been that.
He chose to feel sorry for himself.
You were telling him some good things.
You were giving him some good advice.
He didn't want to listen.
And he didn't want to listen.
And he was telling you, he was consciously aware that he had been programmed to think
there was no hope.
If that's what he was telling you, that's on him, man.
And there's always going to be that that is an example for you because the people that fail in this weird
Fucking race that we're all in or this weird
Experience that we're on when they when they fail if you can't help them at least you can learn from them
You know and we can look along the way at different people that have done terrible things and we could say well what they did
Was awful and they should be punished. And that is almost definitely true. But also we can learn that this could happen to
anybody who's in the wrong circumstances, have the wrong mindset and chooses the wrong actions.
These, all these things are important. These are, these are important, not just for the person
that's involved in that situation, but for everyone else observing, because we learn from
each other. We don't just learn by by experience we learn from other people's experiences
and it's very very important that way because we can experience other people's
lives just through through sheer communication it's one of the most
beautiful things about social media is that we can all share much more
information than has ever been possible before and through that you can learn
hey you know who else was told that he
would never amount to be shit? Jay-Z. You know who else grew up in a shitty neighborhood? This
fucking basketball player or that MMA fighter or this stand-up comedian or that artist. There's a
million examples of people who were told they're not going to be shit. Yeah, but you're an
exceptional dude and some of the guys you mentioned they're exceptional dudes.
I agree with every word you said.
You're saying everything
my parents ever said to me
and I listened
and I fucking did the work.
My parents told me
get a job.
That's what my parents did.
They told me I wasn't funny.
They told me fighting is dangerous.
They told me all the wrong things.
Every step of the way.
a few months ago
that I should still open a law firm.
She's like,
yeah, what you're doing is funny.
It's cool.
It's okay, but you should do something solid still open a law firm. She's like, yeah, what you're doing is funny. It's cool. It's okay.
But you should do something solid that you can count on.
That's hilarious.
My mom still is not over it.
Yeah.
Lawyers, they die of being tired.
And just unhappy.
Just miserable.
They're exhausted and they just get coke and hookers and shoot themselves.
Can I go to the bathroom?
Yeah, fuck yeah, man.
Go to the bathroom.
It's a good time, Joe.
Something has hit the internet that I oh no need to show you i guess it may or may not be legit but uh i've decided to retire
young thanks to the cheese catches later conor mcgregor uh he's trolling you think so fuck yeah
there's a lot of people who have been hitting me up telling me to show you and
yeah no one knows what's going on he He's decided to retire young, which means like 34.
Eventually young, not today.
Listen, man.
Unless he got fucking head kicked today and knocked into oblivion,
the idea that he's going to go out on a loss like that to Nate Diaz.
Look, he's got plenty of cash.
If he wanted to retire young and step away, I mean, I guarantee you, he probably made somewhere in the neighborhood of five million
bucks for the Jose Alda fight.
He probably made more than that for the Nate Diaz fight.
I would imagine after he spent a fuckload of it, he's probably still got a few million
bucks laying around.
He's a hero in Ireland.
He could always make money.
He could always run a gym and be fine.
But if I had to guess, it doesn always make money, he could always run a gym and be fine, but if I had
to guess, it doesn't make any sense.
The only reason why it would make sense, the only reason why it would make sense is Conor
had actually thought about retiring from MMA before he got the call for the UFC.
There was a point in time where he had some friends that were experiencing some serious
health issues from fighting, and then most recently, that young man from the Portuguese guy died in an MMA contest,
which I think took place in the UK.
Wasn't he involved or related in some way to one of those guys that just died too?
Didn't he know him or train with him?
I think he trained with the Portuguese guy that just died recently.
It is entirely possible in that sense, but if I had to guess,
there's no way he'd do it like this.
Also, I
was talking with someone as this was going on.
It doesn't even seem like how he usually talks on
Twitter, sort of. He could have gotten
hacked, maybe, but no one
really knows what's going on right now. If that's it,
if he got hacked
and that's it, that's all they're going to do?
Yeah, no, I mean, it hasn't been deleted yet.
No one else has really commented on it.
I would call bullshit.
But you never know.
I just highly doubt it.
Stay tuned, folks.
I think he's trolling.
If I had to guess, I'd say he's trolling fucking around people.
If he decided, I'm going to retire young, and then, like I said,
like one day or two days later, which means around 34. You know, he's like 28 now. I mean, if he's smart, he to retire young. And then, like I said, one day or two days later, which means around 34.
He's like 28 now.
If he's smart, he will retire young.
There's some dudes
that stay in it way too long.
They wind up with rattled domes.
Gotta get out.
I feel slim from this kigenics already.
Do you? You feel better? I felt good.
Checked out the keg in the bathroom.
It was good. It's like a pony keg now.
Do you have a target weight you're trying to get to or a body fat number?
Yeah, I want to get to like 15, 16% body fat.
I'm like 22 right now.
22, 23.
So you don't have lofty goals.
You have reasonable goals.
Yeah, reasonable goals.
I'm not trying to be like shredded and shit.
Why not?
I don't know. I kind of like being a dancing bear do you like it or is it like
your 19 year old friend that was like you don't understand there's no hope for me
no i can never get shredded i just need i just need to be a little bit better at basketball
that's it that's it you don't want to be shredded like if someone gave you a pill say eddie i have
a pill right now with no health consequences whatsoever. I can give you this pill and you will be fucking LeBron James shredded.
No, I think part of my identity is being slightly chubby.
Part of your identity?
And I've just become more chubby.
Like, I'm beyond.
I'm pre-diabetic, so I need to just watch.
Sometimes, some years or some six months I go to the doctor, I'm pre-diabetic.
You're pre-diabetic and you're still eating candy at night?
18 months ago, I went to the doctor and they were like, you're in the pre-diabetic zone.
Then I got out of it, which was good.
But it's like, I have to watch it because I'm kind of on the line.
And yet you're still eating candy late at night.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Got no self-control, man.
But then you were thinking everybody should get 30 grand.
Do you understand?
Like, discipline is an important part of life.
Do you understand this?
It is, Joe.
This is a very important message.
Yo, man, young Jedi.
I'm young Jedi.
I got to get to, like, full Jedi status, man.
I got to work on this.
You just got to, do you write things down?
Do you write things down that you have to do?
A lot.
Yeah?
Do you write things down that you just don't do anymore?
Like, this, I won't do this anymore.
This is not, I'm not, this is not on the menu anymore.
Yeah, I do.
And then sometimes I still fucking do them. Well, you can't do that. Yeah. You gotta write things down.
That's against the point of writing it down. But yeah. You just gotta give yourself a certain amount.
Like here, here's a good example. Give yourself 60 days. Say for 60 days, I'm going to go on a diet
where I don't eat any bread. I don't take in any pasta. I don't have any rice. I only eat healthy
foods. Everything is healthy or i don't eat it
that's it the rice is the killer man well rice is a lot of carbs you know and it's it translates
directly in your body to sugar and also it's like it's inflammatory like yeah it causes you
ever do that whole 30 thing somebody told me about the whole what's that it's like no processed foods
no dairy no alcohol alcohol, Whole30.
Why Whole30?
For 30 days?
Yeah, it's 30 days and you eat like whole foods and shit.
Well, I just eat whole foods always now.
But I've been doing it for, I got on this Primal Blueprint diet about three months ago.
And I said I was going to give myself two months.
But after the two months were over, I'm like, this is how I'm eating now.
I feel so good.
Do you drink? Yeah, I drink. Okay, cool is how I'm eating now. I feel so good. Do you drink?
You don't drink?
Yeah, I drink. Okay, cool.
I don't get crazy, but occasionally I do.
Yeah.
I believe everything in moderation, including moderation.
So if you're out and you're getting your freak on and someone says you want to do shots,
you're like, fuck yeah, let's do this.
Get in there, but you don't do it all the time.
Every now and then, but understand the consequences.
You will get wrecked.
Yeah.
You know, but also know but also puked
chalmaine on a curb like three weeks ago that wasn't that wasn't awesome so why'd you do it
drinking drinking yeah well booze is bad but the feeling is great i think there's some amazing
things that are accomplished when you're under the influence incredible things get accomplished
i puked chalmaine on a curb but as far as like social things you have real great
fun with your friends that you'll never forget yeah there's there's moments of like this this
there's moments during alcohol intoxication where you kind of see things from what they are
because the the veil that's in front of your mind, the veil of inhibition and struggle and bullshit and insecurity
is removed by that alcohol.
For the most part, alcohol makes a lot of people assholes
because they lose their inhibitions,
because they get cocky,
because they don't have fear anymore.
It distorts reality.
Do you get more social or anti-social when you drink?
More social.
Yeah, me too. I get more social. Well, you're a nice guy. Oh, thanks, man. Do you get more social or anti-social when you drink? More social. Yeah, me too.
I get more social.
Well, you're a nice guy.
Oh, thanks, man.
Nice people become more nice.
But when someone's an asshole when they're drunk, I usually find that's incredibly revealing
of who they're trying not to be when they're sober.
Like what they're hiding from you when they're sober.
It usually is like revealing of the demons inside of them.
Yeah, I just get goofier.
Yeah, I get silly.
I want to hug people and shit and I want to laugh. I'm a silly, goofy motherfucker, I just get goofier. Yeah, I get silly. I want to hug people and shit, and I want to laugh.
I'm a silly, goofy motherfucker,
so that's what happens.
Well, I've had friends that are alcoholics, though,
and it's a weird thing when you look
and you see those shark eyes.
We're like, oh, Eddie's not there anymore.
Clank, you know?
I didn't mean to use your name, but, you know.
Or Mike's not there anymore.
You know, you look right in their eye,
and you're like, where'd they go?
Angry drunks, too, man.
You're like, they're fucking hiding that shit all day.
That shit's bad.
Yeah, dude.
I went on a date with this girl.
Went on one date, and it was awesome.
It was great.
Had a good time.
A lot of fun.
I was like, wow, she's pretty cool.
Next day, I meet her at the bar.
She's already tanked up.
She's breaking glasses, yelling at people.
I was like, what?
What the fuck?
Just a few drinks.
That's all it took.
A few drinks, and she went loco.
Did you smash?
No, I ran.
Oh, man.
I'm not a smasher.
She sounds like she could have been incredible, bro.
No, I knew.
Just breaking records in the bedroom.
I knew some people that had been in some trouble,
and I learned from other people's experiences.
No, I've never been a fan of drunks, especially girls.
I just feel like
if you're on a date with someone,
if you date a drug addict
or you date an alcoholic
or something like that,
man, the burden of just getting
to know someone,
enjoying their company
and being even with each other
and enjoying each other's company,
it's hard enough to figure out
if you're compatible
with someone socially
without this monkey on their back.
Yeah. Someone's got a heroin problem
and you're going to date a girl with a heroin problem?
I have a buddy, my buddy Brian Callum.
He's the best.
But he always used to try to clean these girls up.
He used to try to take them in.
Captain Save-A-Hulk.
Oh, he was the worst.
He was the worst.
I used to tell him, I'm like, get out now.
And he wouldn't do it.
And then two years later, he was like,
man, I should have listened to you.
Yeah, you should have listened to me.
Again. Again. For fucking a a decade i used to tell this
guy if i have the option of dating a heroin addict or not dating a heroin addict i'm gonna go with
no yeah it's a good move yeah but some guys are like yeah she's just alone and she just needs a
friend and you know once they clean up i mean she's we all make mistakes they're into it they're
into it well that's also here's
the reality of captain save a hose when you find someone's problems are greater than your own it
lets you concentrate on things other than your problems which you are not fixing avoid you're a
lazy fuck yeah you know so you procrastinate and people find really strange ways to procrastinate
and one of the ways they find to procrastinate is to create other problems in their life that take precedent over the problem that they're avoiding.
I agree.
I agree.
I have given the same speech to all people.
This is the funny thing.
I agree with you on all the personal things.
I don't know why my personal views don't translate to my worldviews.
It's kind of funny.
You mean like the $30,000 thing?
I'm a lot softer with my worldviews than I am with people and my brothers and people that work with me.
I am too.
I believe in a living wage.
I'm down with this Bernie Sanders thing.
And I love the fact that Governor Cuomo in New York just passed this $15 an hour thing.
Minimum wage is going to be $15 an hour.
It's so funny.
Someone said on my Facebook, you think this is good?
This is going to destroy a lot of businesses.
I'm like, yeah.
You know what they said that about
Slavery yeah, it's the same shit. They said about slavery abolish slavery these plantations gonna go under well
Guess what you can't you can't just have people work all day for you and not give them any fucking money wage
Yeah
They have to be able to make a living and if your business
Does not make enough money to give someone a living wage to work all week for you, then guess what?
You don't have a business.
You can't afford to have an employee.
Yeah.
So you have to figure out a way to either make more money, you have to figure out a way to get a better business, or operate with less employees.
Yeah.
That's it.
The only thing that they have to do is they have to help subsidize the small mid-sized businesses to compete with the Walmarts and the Best Buys and the Targets.
Subsidize how?
businesses to compete with like the walmart's and the best buys and the targets subsidize how tax incentives and things like that to the small mid-sized businesses because to absorb this new
salaries right now immediately the big companies have a lot more of a cushion and a margin to
absorb this shit right do you know i'm saying yeah the small mids that you have to start adjusting
you the way you're doing business the the prices, things like that. You got to move some pieces around.
Listen, I could fix all this shit real quick.
Legalize weed.
Yeah.
Legalize weed worldwide.
Everybody would just sell weed.
You know how many people who are having a job right now would make a lot of money just selling weed?
They would.
Yeah.
Go to Colorado right now.
You know, real estate in Colorado is up like 19%.
But you know what's going to happen when they sell weed?
It's not going to be like your neighbor or the guy downstairs selling weed.
It's going to be big companies, and then it's going to be these kids.
No, I'm all for legalizing.
Why would it be big companies?
They already are.
These people are buying up the rights in certain states to be the distributors and things like that.
No, no, no.
Those are state laws.
You can't have those state laws.
Those buying up the rights laws. That's what they were trying to pass. No, no, no. Those are state laws. You can't have those state laws. Those buying up the rights laws.
That's what they were trying to pass in Ohio.
Right, Jamie?
And everybody rightfully said no to it because this was going to be a monopoly situation.
It should just be, it's legal.
Go crazy.
Yes.
Go sell it.
Sell it.
Like a half-baked, you know, sell it.
But what's going on in Colorado is it's changing the economy.
Colorado, first of all, they made more money from taxes this year for the first time ever than they did from alcohol with weed.
More money from weed than with alcohol, which is just fucking bananas.
And they charged 39%.
The 39% taxes on weed.
And everybody's like, who cares?
Who cares?
Sell it.
It's still cheaper than alcohol.
And we'll pay it.
And it's better.
Exactly.
So something like that could change.
And also, look, man, you can't infantilize this entire country like that.
You can't tell people what they can and can't do.
You just can't do it.
And it's a gigantic part.
Because we're going to do it anyway.
I mean, all these restrictions on behavior and what you can and can't do are a gigantic part of the problem with the fiber of our economy and the fiber of
Our culture we've got all these weird restrictions that are in place that are archaic and don't make any sense
And when you accept one thing doesn't make any sense
Well, then it leaves room for a lot of other weird shenanigans like Ted Cruz want to lock people up for dildos
You know about all that shit. Oh
Listen, this dumb motherfucker is really close to being president. Ted Cruz was trying to pass a law that would put you in jail for having dildos. Pull this
up, Jamie, because this is just one of the most hilarious things about this dumbass that people
are trying to force down the American public's face because the Republican candidates are all
a joke other than Donald Trump. No one could get past that guy, and he's a joke. No one can get past that guy.
So the Republicans are panicking.
They don't know what to do.
So they put this fucking Ted Cruz dummy in,
not knowing there's a million different things
that are wrong with him.
The time Ted Cruz defended a ban on dildos,
his legal team argued that there was no right
to stimulate one's genitals.
Scroll up, please.
In one chapter of his campaign book, A Time for Truth,
Senator Ted Cruz proudly chronicles his days as a Texas Solicitor General,
a post that he held from 2003 to 2008.
Bolstering his conservative cred, the Republican president candidate
notes that during his stint as the state's chief lawyer
in front of the Supreme Court and federal state appellate courts,
he defended the inclusion of under God in the Pledge of Allegiance, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
Scroll up to the Dildo case.
Battle concerning privacy and free speech, right?
2004, companies that owned Austin stores selling sex toys and a retail distributor of such
products challenged Texas law outlawing the sale and promotion of supposedly obscene devices.
And we'll put the thing where he wanted to have how much you should go to jail for it.
Because it was like two years.
Here it is.
Under the law, a person who violated the statute could go to jail for up to two years for selling dildos.
And this dummy supported that.
This is a guy that wants to be president. This is a women's rights issue, Joe. This is a real women's rights issue. For dildos? Yeah dummy supported that this is this is a guy that wants rights issue joe
this is a real women's rights issue for dildos yeah for dudes too don't be sexist no i'm saying
no but i'm saying i hope this is one thing that women and men can all come together on dildos
so important it's the most hilarious thing because dicks are available for anybody who needs them
all you have to do is raise your hand step outside your house and go i'm looking for some dick
have a sign on the side of the road,
looking for dick,
and someone will give you dick.
Someone's going to pull up.
Yeah.
You know those people that stop at red lights
and they have signs for change?
Yeah.
Even that works, okay?
People will give you what you need,
but if you have a sign that says,
I'm looking for dick,
and you're reasonably clean,
someone's going to fuck you.
Someone will pull up.
Yes.
Anytime, any corner.
But people have the right, they have the right to want a dick without a body attached to it.
Yes.
Yeah.
A dick without a relationship or opinions.
Or even a pulse.
Anything to say.
They want a dick that's not even made out of human tissue.
They want a rubber one.
Yeah.
Let's just fill this hole up.
Hard body.
Get done. Let's just fill this hole up and get done.
Let's just get it done. But I don't know how I got to that, but our leadership
is a joke.
But it's a joke because you can't expect a
person to want, like, anybody
that wants to run this entire country has got to
be a crazy person. You have to be a nut.
And you really shouldn't have one
president anyway. The idea is ridiculous
that one person's going to be involved in all the decisions for the entire country.
That's preposterous.
The funny thing, too, is people only pay attention to the presidential race when all these other things are going on.
Congressional, Senate, things like that.
It's hard to fucking keep track of, though.
They're all fucking clowns.
It's impossible.
Honestly, they're all clowns.
It's impossible.
I don't trust any of them.
And what's really fucked up is this is the best spot on the planet.
All the other spots, all the different goofballs all over the world like you see what's going on in
brazil like brazil they're impeaching their fucking president right now the panama paper
shit is crazy crazy yeah i love it crazy i'm loving it tell tell people about it if they
don't know what it is well the panama papers is because this is not getting discussed in the news
hardly at all it's's some, not enough.
Not enough. It's basically people, leaders of countries like the British prime minister's dad and Brazil, the guy Brazil is involved.
But there's people, leaders, presidents, prime ministers have been keeping their money in offshore accounts, not paying the taxes that they owe in their country,
and keeping this money off the books.
And then somebody gave this information from a law firm
that does most of these transactions,
and it's now being published.
So you can see where all the money is being hidden.
Yeah, and influence.
It highlights how people are getting influenced
to make certain decisions
and how much bribery is taking place.
And how laws only apply to certain people and how long I apply to certain people
They don't apply to the people making the laws
It's shit, so the best way to fix this is what give people $30,000
Yes, that's just gonna keep people poor that'd be the best way to keep you from competing with you
I'll tell you that.
Give them 30 grand.
They're not going to do jack shit with it.
Kick rocks.
Just going to sit around.
Kick rocks.
Fucking drink OE.
Do people drink OE anymore?
Old English?
Remember those?
No ketones in them.
No ketones in Old English.
That stuff will get you fucked up, man.
Yeah.
I remember the first time I drank a 40.
I couldn't believe how drunk you get.
Yo, are you in town this Thursday?
Yes.
We got a premiere.
You want to come?
Where's it at?
When's it at?
Ace Hotel Downtown Theater.
What time?
7, 8, what time is it?
8 o'clock?
Is it, what time?
Yeah, it's like 7.30, 8 o'clock.
Dan Arouback from the Black Keys is going to be here at 6.
I was just at Dan's crib last night.
He's at 6?
He's coming to the premiere. No, wait, wait, wait. Wait, no. How are you guys doing the show at 6 be here at 6. I was just at Dan's crib last night. He's at 6? He's coming to the premiere.
How's he doing?
Wait, wait, wait.
No, how are you guys
doing the show at 6?
You tell me.
This motherfucker's
supposed to be at the premiere.
This motherfucker's
gonna be late.
Oh, Dan.
Joe says, Joe says.
Don't text
while you're on the show.
Oh, my bad.
Sorry.
This is not good
for everybody that's listening.
Sorry, man.
Bad form.
We'll talk afterwards.
I'm not trying to have bad form.
You know this is my favorite podcast.
Well, you're one of my favorite guests.
Thank you.
It takes a long time to get from here to downtown.
Yeah.
We're in Woodland Hills.
It'll take you probably an hour and a half at six.
Wow.
Yeah.
He's coming in at six?
Yeah.
If you have to leave at six, your shit's at seven.
You'd have to leave at six. So when he's here, he would have to leave. He'd coming in at 6? Yeah. If you have to leave at 6, your shit's at 7, you'd have to leave at 6.
So when he's here, he would have to leave.
He'd have to say hi.
Damn, so you took Dan from my party.
I had Dan booked for a long time.
He probably doesn't know what's going on.
He's a rock and roll star, dude.
Probably doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
He doesn't.
He thought he was supposed to be here yesterday.
Then he told me he was going to be here today.
I was like, bro, I'm here today.
How are you here today?
Does he do drugs?
Oh, wait, Thursday.
No.
No? No, he's good. How's that possible? He smokes weed. Okay. I don't want to dry snitch today. And I was like, bro, I'm here today. How are you here today? Does he do drugs? Oh, wait, Thursday. No. No?
No, he's good.
How's that possible?
He smokes weed.
Okay.
I don't want to dry snitch, though.
I think that's public, right?
Dry snitch?
What's dry snitch?
He brought that up last time here.
We had to go over this, I think.
It's like basically just living that D'Angelo Russell life.
You know what I mean?
Who's D'Angelo Russell?
He's the guy that fucking recorded Nick Young talking about other girls.
Oh, that guy.
Oh, my God.
What a piece of shit.
He lives the dry snitch.
He is America's dry snitch.
And has he been ostracized
by the rest of the basketball community?
Yeah.
I think the world.
I think the world.
He said he didn't mean to let it get out, right?
Isn't that his words?
He needs to be on the JRA.
You need to fucking grill him about this.
Not interested. I would love to grill him about this. Not interested.
I would love to see you grill him.
Not interested.
Too much negativity, bro.
I'm not an investigative reporter.
It's not me, man.
I don't care.
I'm just like, don't hang out with that guy.
Put the fucking Scarlet X on him mentally.
Cross him off the list.
He should be out of the NBA.
Dry snitch.
Well, I'm glad people are thinking.
He doesn't get $30,000 in my plan.
Thank you.
That's so nice.
I'm glad people are looking at it that way, though, that they've ostracized him instead of, like, concentrating only on the guy who is banging other girls.
You know?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
You're right.
The priorities are totally, definitely solid.
Yeah, priorities in that case are, because regardless of whether or not the guy who did
the deed shouldn't have done it or should have done it, like whatever your opinions
are about cheating, that guy's violating a friendship.
Like that guy didn't tell him that because he wanted the world to know.
He told him that because they're friends.
I have friends that tell me dark shit all the time.
They do, and we laugh like pigs, and I'll never tell a soul.
I'll go to my grave with all that knowledge. And that's what a friend's supposed to be yeah so any guy would do that it's a piece
of shit so i'm glad that the the rules and principles of friendship have overtaken the
rules and principles of monogamy loyalty yes to homies over to the people you over the people
you sleep with yeah but no it was interesting though because that same week it was uh this this girl
Kalani had supposedly people had assumed she had cheated on her boyfriend who was in the NBA Kyrie
Irving right so then this D'Angelo thing happened but when it was the girl everyone beat her up over
cheating or whatever and she actually didn't she didn't even cheat with the D'Angelo Nick Young
thing everyone was just mad at D'Angelo which D'Angelo deserves he's the worst person of that week but then also I was like well if you're gonna be mad
at Kalani then you gotta be mad at Nick Young or just don't be mad at either one of them because
who fucking cares that's the best they're not my friends also the girl I'm assuming is hot right
she's great I love Kalani is she hot yeah she's hot okay here's the problem there guys who can't
fuck hot girls are always mad at them.
Yep, exactly.
They can't fuck them, they're mad at them.
Girls who see hot girls wish they could be those hot girls, and they're mad at them too.
They're mad at them too.
Hot girls take more hate than anybody on the planet.
Because the guys who can't fuck them are always going to be upset.
This bitch thinks she's better than me.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then the girl's like, she ain't all that.
And then the girls are just taking constant negativity. That, boo, boo, boo, boo. And then the girl's like, she ain't all that. And then the girls
just take a constant negativity.
Yep.
That's one of the problems
with social media.
Hot girls get too much heat.
Too much.
Way too much.
Nick Young needs more heat.
That guy's terrible.
But that one was great.
You know, Kobe.
So the guy Nick Young
asked Kobe to sign his shoes
after Kobe's last game.
Goes up to Kobe
with a pair of Adidas.
Kobe takes his shoes and throws them in the trash. Doesn't sign
them. Whoa. I was like, wow.
I hated Kobe his whole career and I love you
now. He threw them in the trash
in front of the dude? Just threw them in the trash.
Whoa. Incredible. Wow.
That's some real G shit. Just to let you know.
Yep. But didn't Kobe do that shit with Shaq?
He threw Shaq's shoes in the trash?
No way. Didn't he throw Shaq out of the bus?? No way Didn't he throw Shaq out of the bus?
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Kobe's a little bit of a dry snitch too
Game recognized game
That was a game recognized game situation
Dry snitch is my new favorite word of the month
Yeah
Let's call people that
Dry snitch
Another good one is a dusty
Do you call him a chili pimp?
What's a chili pimp?
Chili pimp It's just a broke pimp? Chili pimp is just a broke pimp.
You ain't got shit.
Chilies?
Like you eat at Chili's?
No, no.
You're cold outside.
You're chili.
Oh.
You don't have a warm fur coat?
Nothing.
Nothing.
You're a chili pimp.
Dry snitch, chili pimp.
These are the bottom of the barrel we're talking about.
Chili pimp sounds cool, though.
No.
That doesn't seem like...
I think that would like to be a chili pimp.
No, no, no.
Yo, can we pull up Chili Pimp?
You don't want to be a chili pimp, Joe. no, no. Can we pull up Chili Pimpy? You don't want to be a chili pimp, Joe.
But it sounds cool.
You're out there with the chili.
It doesn't sound negative at all.
That's like you're hopping on one foot and your girl's hopping on the other one.
That's not right, man.
Well, that's not good.
You're cold outside.
Yeah, I get that.
But I mean, Chili Pimp sounds like, oh, he's just a chili pimp.
Like, that guy's a good guy.
Yeah, see, look.
Chili Pimp.
Chili Pimp who is shivering because he only has one hoe in his stable.
Like, that guy's a good guy.
Yeah, see, look.
A pimp who is shivering because he only has one hoe in his stable.
This dude in the mall claimed he was pimping.
His pimping was big time, but he ain't nothing but a chili pimp.
That's how you use it.
Is this the Urban Dictionary?
Is that what it is?
What a world we live in here.
This is an actual dictionary that gives you urban terminology. You could also buy the mug.
You can buy a mug that says Chili Pimp on it?
Yeah.
Oh, click on that.
Yeah.
Let me see what we got here.
Does it have...
Oh, wait a minute.
Oh, wow.
The mug must have
the definition on it.
Wow.
Is that what it is?
Oh, that is so ridiculous.
Joe, this is gonna be
a gift from you.
Oh, my God.
I can take this mug,
I'll get you the Chili Pimp mug.
I don't want it.
You don't...
No, yeah, you do.
No.
Jamie, I feel like...
Chili Pimp.
We need him drinking out of... Some bulletproof coffee out of the chili pimp mug.
Because they're spelling chili wrong.
Or what about dry stitching?
We get you a dry stitching mug.
They're spelling chili like the food.
Yeah, that's fire.
I like that.
You like that?
I like that.
That's fire.
That's fire.
Oh, my God.
Look at who wrote the definition.
Brooks badass.
Yeah.
Well, this is one person's definition of chili pepper.
Well, what's a sapiosexual?
Oh, a sapiosexual?
Yeah.
The fuck anything that's not a monkey?
That's wild.
Homo sapiens?
Is that what it is?
Sapiosexual.
One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
What?
Oh.
This is the Urban Dictionary?
I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind.
I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay.
I want someone who sometimes makes me go out due to their wit and evil sense of humor.
I want someone that can reach out
and touch randomly.
I want someone
I can cuddle with.
I decide...
Oberlin students.
All that means
I am sapiosexual.
You know what that sounds like?
That sounds like
a really lonely person
who needs to get
this shit together.
Like, whenever you read
like someone's Instagram
and it's filled with
I'm looking for this,
you know,
someone who loves you deeply
does not...
And they have this... Like, that's a lonely fucker. That's true. Someone who loves you deeply does not blah, blah, blah.
That's a lonely fucker.
Leave him alone.
That's true.
What if mine says, single Asiatic male seeks ride or die chick?
Is that desperate? Perfect.
I like it.
But it's funny.
Cool, good.
See, when it's funny, it's cool.
But this is just for all the boys out there listening, and girls too if you're lesbians.
If you go to a girl's page and it's all this stuff about love and what true love is and when you find the one you'll know, fucking run.
Run from that person.
Run now.
Because that person's probably never happy and they just sit around posting memes about what true love is.
And they're going to make you go to brunch.
Those people like brunch.
Oh, they like mimosas.
Those mimosa drinking cunts.
Eggs Benedict can suck my dick.
How about that?
Huh?
No, that's right.
I want to eat chili out of a mug.
That's what I want to do.
They go to brunch.
I like a girl that never wakes up early enough for brunch.
Like, shit, I missed a call again.
Yeah.
You're also an asshole if you got to pay someone to make eggs.
Like, just fucking have eggs.
If you want eggs on the weekend, just fucking make eggs.
You can't make eggs.
Yeah, but sometimes you don't feel like going somewhere, though.
See, I'll eat dim sum.
I'll wake up at, like, 2 and go eat dim sum.
Oh, you're racist.
You're racist.
I see what's going on.
No, but I don't want to fucking roll dumplings.
I'll pay somebody to do that.
Let me ask you this, because this is an important-
Or even, you know, like, fucking, I'll pay to eat Mexican food on the more-
More racism.
More racism.
This is what I want to talk to you about, because this is a big subject that's been going on now.
This term that didn't exist until recently.
Chili pips.
Cultural appropriation.
Yes.
Cultural appropriation.
That Rick Bayless guy, who's a very famous Mexican chef.
Yeah, yeah.
That guy is taking shit from all these social justice warrior dipshits because he makes Mexican food and he's not Mexican.
He's a white guy from Oklahoma.
And there was this whole article about whether or not this guy who is one of the best Mexican cooking chefs.
Do you think he's one of the best?
His food is not flamed.
Well, you tell me because you're the guy.
I don't think it's good. Well, he's widely recognized as a highly respected. flame. Well, you tell me because you're the guy. I don't think he's good.
Well, he's widely recognized as highly respected.
Yeah.
Well, here, this is what makes people upset.
You're deep in.
This is what makes people upset.
You're a guy like, you're one of those guys that's deep, deep, deep in the world.
Whereas like if you came to me and said, oh my God, this guy, I don't want to say anybody's
name, but this guy is hilarious.
I'd be like, that guy's dog shit and he's got writers.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he's a guy that like, look, his food's not bad, but it's not great.
It's definitely not the best Mexican food in America, but he wins tons of awards.
Is it because he's white?
I don't think it's because, it's complicated, right?
Because he's white isn't wrong, but it's the Kwan.
You remember like in Jerry Maguire, they're like the Kwan.
The thing with a lot of these chefs that win these awards,
Food and Wine, Best New Chef, Michelin, fucking James Beard,
it's a lot of the times because they can speak English,
they can communicate with the writers,
and the writers can write a story about them.
They're not winning because it's the best food.
They're winning because there's a story to write and a story to tell.
And Rick Bayless, being a white guy from Oklahoma, cooking maybe slightly above average Mexican food is a story.
Slightly above average?
Border Grill?
It's not fucking good.
Wait a minute.
Border Grill, though, you have a bunch of other people cooking it.
Like, what about when he's cooking it?
Wait, let me check his restaurant name.
Rick Bayless.
I remember eating his.
I just don't want to be wrong.
He's the guy that's got
Frontera Grill.
Where's that at?
And he's in the airports now.
You got all the airport restaurants.
But you know what's weird, man? If you're a stand-up comedian
and you open up a comedy club
and some whack-ass comedian comes to perform.
If you're a stand-up comedian
and you open up a comedy club and some whack-ass comedian
comes and performs at your comedy club, no one says, hey, Joey Diaz's comedy club, I went there the other day and this guy went up and performed.
This guy sucks, so Joey Diaz must be a bad comedian.
Like, if you were going to judge Rick Bayless, you would have to judge him by his own cooking.
Have you ever eaten his own cooking?
Yeah.
You have?
Yeah.
Where at?
Frontera Grill.
But were you there when he cooked it?
Oh, no.
I didn't meet him.
But he wasn't there.
No.
But here's the thing.
Hold on.
Hold on.
You judge them on the work.
Like, it doesn't matter
if he's there or not.
It's your restaurant.
That's your name on it.
If somebody comes in a bad house
and has a bad meal,
that's on me.
I think we're splitting hairs
because this is a restaurant.
Yeah.
You're saying his restaurant's no good?
That I understand.
But have you ever eaten his cooking? I mean, I feel like if you're in the restaurant that's his cooking no no no no no no
no if is he cooked have you eaten what he cooked i have not sat in front of him and eaten when he's
cooking there so what the fuck this is what that's what makes it that's what makes a chef right you
know what i caught a bad review i was i was known for catching this bad review at Shao Ye.
I had a restaurant.
Sam Sifton came in.
I was sitting in the dining room.
I was not cooking.
And he did not have a great meal.
And you know what?
I took it on the face and I owned it.
And the thing is, Rick Bailey, he doesn't make bad food.
It's not for all the accolades he has.
It's not the best.
accolades he has it's not the best but also there's a bit of a thing with food that the literati the intelligentsia the blogs the magazines they're always electing people that they can tell
a story about speak english have this shishi dining room they're not it's not about the food
they always make they always talk about the food but it's not and i think that people of ethnic
cultures from the you know the background
of mexican food and things that people get upset when there's somebody else that didn't live the
life didn't grow up with it isn't the best at it representing it you know like if it's going to be
somebody from outside he better be the fucking best otherwise get somebody who lived this life
and knows all the history and identity and culture attached to this food and let them speak for their
own food okay i think a part of the problem and identity and culture attached to this food and let them speak for their own food.
Okay, I think part of the problem
in this conversation is
you want to talk about
the restaurant this guy runs.
I want to talk about him
as a chef.
And I'm saying
you haven't had his food
as a chef.
And what I've read
is that he makes
excellent Mexican food
and he really is
a student of the culture
and is enamored
by Mexican culture
and Mexican traditions
and he's essentially a
scholar of Mexican food. I don't
think he's done anything wrong. I want to put that on the
right. I don't think he's done anything wrong.
I went to his restaurant. I've been to the restaurant and had
the food. But you've never had it from him.
But doesn't that mean something?
But you're saying it like it's not a big deal. It's not
because in the restaurant industry the thing is if you
walk in, once you walk in the door that's that man's
food. Oh man. Fuck all that. That's that man's food. I agree with the mimics his recipe
He's putting his whole right he created on the line and right he's not cooking it
I just feel like you know if you're leaving it to someone else to do it
I mean you might you might have had the bat
It's like if you're an architect and you know you're you're a builder of a house and someone comes along does a shitty job
Building your creation.
Are you responsible?
Well, if you were supposed to oversee every single aspect of the construction.
I'll even get beyond him because I don't think he's done anything wrong.
And this is the one thing in this discussion that I feel is unfair to some of these chefs, especially the white chefs.
It's not their fault that journalists and people want to give them awards.
Somebody wants to give them awards.
I don't expect them to throw it in the fucking ground.
Journalists and people want to give them awards.
Somebody wants to give them an award.
I don't expect them to throw it in the fucking ground.
The problem, though, is the media and the people giving these awards and the ones selecting, saying, this is the best chef, this is the best Mexican food.
It's really obnoxious to the people of that culture that are like, dude, that's not really representing who we are.
But now this guy's representing our food in America, and he's the one you go to for information.
He's a fan of the culture.
Let me just be honest with you. No one who goes to restaurants knows about awards.
Yeah, they do. But it's so rare
that anyone ever discusses awards.
But even the platform, they give him the platform
to speak for Mexican food in America.
You know, he's the guy people go to.
On Top Chef, they always bring him in.
You've given him the platform
and you've given him the megaphone to speak for a culture that he's not a part of.
Like awards.
You know anybody that wins?
I don't know what the fucking awards are for food.
I just know when someone's supposed to be a famous chef.
But that's the thing.
He's been elevated as the famous chef.
When you have the Aztec hirachi restaurant in Highland Park that's fucking fire.
Where's that?
Or Connie's Seafood in Inglewood.
Say it again?
It's the Aztec hirachi restaurant in Highland Park that's fucking fire. Where's that? Or Connie's Seafood in Inglewood. Hold on. Say it again. Aztec.
It's the Aztec hirachi restaurant in Highland Park.
It's incredible.
What is it?
They sell hirachis.
They're awesome.
What's a hirachi?
They're like a...
It's like a...
Man, it's...
I have to pull up a photo.
It's hard to explain.
It's like a corn...
It's almost like an open-faced...
I would explain it as an open-faced
arepa what the fuck's an arepa it's a corn masa this is this is not my specialty you know i'm
saying this is china tamale no it's it's corn meal you kind of have to see it to H-U-R-A-C-H-E. But, yeah, see?
Okay.
And that...
That's what Aztec and Highland Park does really well.
How the fuck do you even eat that thing?
It's like flatbread, bro.
Treat it like flatbread.
You pick it up?
Yeah.
So it's hard at the bottom?
No, you cut it.
You cut it.
So it's a pizza.
Cornmeal on the bottom.
It's incredible.
You gotta have one of these things.
I believe you.
And then also Connie's Seafood in Inglewood is one of the best Mexican restaurants you'll ever eat at.
So there's some excellent Mexican restaurants.
But my point being is like, does this guy, so you think it's deserved that he's getting shit because, not because he's the best Mexican, because he's getting all these accolades, not because he's the best, but because it's easy to write a story about him because he's a white guy from Oklahoma.
Yes.
And he's very articulate when it comes to this culture.
And the people that select the gatekeepers and the people who speak for culture, they're picking a guy that they can communicate with easily, makes their job easy, and can tell a story that's easily disseminated amongst the masses.
And I don't think it's Rick Bayless' fault.
I don't think Rick Bayless has done anything wrong like in this context ever.
It's the media selecting him as you are now the spokesperson for Mexican food in America.
And it's like this motherfucker?
Like if you're Mexican, you'd be tight.
Right.
You'd be mad at that.
Yeah.
Well, so who should be?
Actually, on the show, right?
So when we went to China, I was craving American food.
I was in China for 17 days.
And I was like, you know what?
I miss fucking hamburgers and a salad and nachos.
And we went to a place called Deli Burger.
It was the most popular American restaurant for expats in Hunan, China.
And we went.
This place had Pulp Fiction posters, Big Lebowski.
It was interesting.
They had a Phillips fucking French dip logo thing in there.
They collected all these American artifacts they bought on Amazon.
We ate their hamburger and it tasted like Chinese food.
It was hilarious.
It was a delicious hamburger, but it wasn't a hamburger.
It tasted like they had a Philly cheesesteak.
And my buddy was like, he's from Van Nuys. He ate it.
And he was like, listen, I have so many friends that are Mexican or Asian growing up in LA that
get mad when white people or people not of the culture make their food. And they're like, this
isn't representing us. This isn't what they said. This is not Mapo Tofu. This is not a soup dumpling.
This is some chef's creation.
And he goes, I never understood why they got mad until I ate this Philly cheesesteak.
Because this is not a Philly cheesesteak.
This is like stir-fried beef in bread.
And they should call it the Hunan Hoagie.
Because it tastes good.
But it is not a Philly cheesesteak.
And I love Philly cheesesteaks.
And I love hamburgers.
And it's like when you see something that you love being called something else and being represented a different way, it's upsetting because that's your identity.
Right.
But Rick Bayless, in his defense, does follow traditional Mexican cooking methods and makes food that tastes like Mexican food.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
But the thing is, is that he's a fan and he's a degree removed.
And it's like if you're going to go to to a source why not just go to the source it's it for for many cultures you know like
andy ricker is a really good friend of mine but when people talk about thai food in america they
go to him and he's a white guy from portland to andy's credit and he is one of my best friends
and i love him for this he puts the names of the thai people that taught him things on his menu
as much as he can he pushes the credit and he pushes people towards the Thai people he learned from so they can get it from the source.
But these journalists are fucking lazy.
They don't care.
They don't go talk to those people.
It's harder because it's easier to call a guy that speaks English and can communicate with you.
But journalists, they can write one shitty restaurant review and just take you down.
They have that power.
And that power is really intoxicating isn't it yeah have you ever dealt with like douchey journalists that you felt like
were kind of out to get you yeah there's a few people that i've done interviews with in the first
five minutes i could tell they're out to get me but then once they can tell i'm pretty genuine
and honest and straightforward they're like all right i'll level with this guy i'll talk to him so no i i don't i would not say
that there were people that were out there's a couple but i can't even remember them because i
don't care right like well it's getting it's harder and harder to do that these days too
because of the internet yeah you know if someone writes a shitty review it's so easy to out that
person and describe what exactly was going on behind the scenes and who that person really is.
And I respond on IG, Twitter, YouTube.
People have a problem.
They want to ask me something.
I'll answer it.
So I'm kind of – it's hard to do the hit piece thing on me because it's like my information is all out there.
Right.
People know.
They can talk to me.
I can give you the answer.
Right, right, right.
You know, that makes sense.
What do you think is the future when it comes to, I think like Yelp reviews have kind of taken away a lot of the steam from journalists reviewing restaurants.
Because a lot of people, when they want to find out about a restaurant, they'll go to a Yelp review.
They'll say, oh, well, look at this, four and a half stars on Yelp.
Let me read a couple reviews.
And you read a couple reviews and you go see what their other reviews are at other restaurants.
You find out whether or not they're accurate. That's disturbing when you find someone who's a shill.
When you definitely can tell that someone was hired by that restaurant to write some bullshit piece.
They only have one review and it's at that restaurant.
It's super obvious.
Yeah, that's just annoying, man.
But I feel people are figuring it all out.
Like at the end of the day, the cream rises to the top and you fucking figure it out.
Right.
That's why a lot of
the stuff you were saying is true it's like hard work pays off you know fucking the people who
deserve it to get it you know that's right fucking do it fuck that 30 grand a year can't give people
money yeah so i love like we started this conversation i love the hate because it helps
me get better i like hearing the criticism i like to work on my game. I like to work on myself.
But at the end of the day, I don't hold on to it anymore.
Because your destiny is in your hands.
Whatever you want.
You may have to work harder than somebody else.
But if you work hard, you can do it.
You can get there.
I genuinely believe that.
What do you like doing better?
Do you like working as a chef and cooking and owning a restaurant?
Or do you like doing these TV shows and all this craziness that you do?
My favorite thing is writing.
I love writing because I think writing, it forces me to be the most honest with myself.
I get to work on myself and get closer to figuring out what life is about,
like the meaning of life shit.
And not to be corny, but I wake up and I think about it.
And when I write every morning, I get closer and I'm pulling back layers
and I love that.
But cooking, basketball,
when I'm playing or I'm cooking,
it teaches me things.
But the place I go to figure it out is writing.
So I love writing.
How often do you write?
Every morning.
I wake up every morning, I just do it.
It may not be that much,
but I'll write something to myself.
I'll write it down, write ideas.
I have tons of Google Docs always open. Really? really yeah like what kind of writing screenplays books uh ideas just i just
i'm always writing i always have a i always have a couple projects i'm writing like i have a fiction
book i'm writing right now really yeah about what um i don't i don't want to, you know, it's a, the last book I wrote was a romance and it was a nonfiction about my life.
But the one thing.
Yeah.
A nonfiction romance?
I have this book coming out May 31st called Double Cup Love.
And it's about, I think you might have met my fiance, the first time I came on the show, I think she came with me.
First time.
Anyway.
Maybe. Yeah. But, you know you know no I wrote about it It was about my journey back to China with my brothers, so I wrote that book, but I think you know nonfiction
It's hard to keep putting yourself out there in the most honest way
So I started writing fiction because I want to write about my life, but I want to like kind of ground it in
writing fiction because i want to write about my life but i want to like kind of ground it in other characters and things like that and explore it and work through the ideas
so it's been interesting i've been doing that i'm trying to like write fiction
wow that's interesting yeah and how you've been doing this for how long the last six months i've
been doing fiction but i've been writing my whole life ever since like ninth grade
i was into writing. Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
So you're a pretty diverse guy, man.
That's one of the things I like about you.
You've always got a bunch of irons in the fire.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
I wrote a screenplay about a suicidal basketball player, like a kid, teenage kid going through a lot of shit.
So I wrote about some of the things. I remember me and my friends going through teenage years, put it into a basketball player from Queens.
So wrote that screenplay.
I'm always writing, like picking up pieces from my life and creating characters.
What do you use to write?
What program do you use?
Final Draft.
But I'm an idiot, dude.
I turned into my homie that works at MGM.
I sent him a screenplay in Microsoft Word.
And he's like, this shit is fire, but you have to put this in fucking Final Draft.
You're a clown.
It's not that easy to convert?
No, you have to actually write the whole fucking thing out.
You got to do it again?
Yeah, I really just rewrote the whole thing.
It was funny.
But you could have two windows open at the same time, just copy and paste back and forth.
So it's not that brutal.
Not too brutal, yeah.
Yeah, I wrote some stuff in Final Draft. Final Draft's's tricky but once you get used to the shortcuts and how to use the commands
yeah you know but um have you for writing ideas um have you ever used uh right room do you know
what that is no what's that it's pretty dope it's um a program where you it blocks out everything
in your screen except for uh the writing you can't and go into your browsers you can't you don't get
any notifications you don't do shit it just shows you only the writing and uh gives you look like
look at it like that that's good that's what your screen looks like it's just uh a black screen with
green ink and that's all you get see that would the green ink would drive me crazy but what i do
man i feel like i'm in the terminator i get in the zone i'm really good about getting in the zone i play one song i'll play one song and i'll loop it and i'll
listen to the same song for like 12 hours just over and over and over any like it'll just be a
song that day like i've had like a random jazz song or it'll be like smith and wesson or lana
del rey or can't blow and i'll just play that song looped for hours and hours and hours and it gets in a trance because you stop
listening to the song it's just noise right right right and it's just yeah i've done that before
yeah yeah i've done that on airplanes in particular i like i like to ride on airplanes
for some strange reason it's good you get focused you're positive. It's like the altitude thing.
Altitude helps.
Makes you positive?
There's like studies you do that it's like you get euphoria in the air when you're that high up.
It's because there's no air up there.
Your brain's falling asleep.
Something.
Some shit about altitude gives you euphoria.
There's another great program called Scrivener.
You ever tried that?
You know what that is?
Gives you euphoria.
There's another great program called Scrivener.
You ever tried that?
You know what that is?
Mm-mm.
It's a program that allows you to have like a virtual chalkboard and it has all these little index cards and you move around the corkboard.
So I'll show you here.
I've got it open up here.
And when you, you can take some of your ideas and you can write them on these little corkboard
things and then as you, I'll show you. when it loads up oh there jamie's got it
yeah so like that so it gives you the this option to do these little so i got it like here
and you put these little little notes like these little tiny little fake index cards and you can
move these suckers around on this. Wait, what's it called?
It's called Scrivener.
So you write a lot of screenplays, huh?
No.
Oh.
No, I don't.
I used to write a bunch of different stuff, but now primarily what I do is I write essays and out of those essays I take stand-up ideas.
I used to write a lot of blog entries, but I found out that a lot of those blog entries
would eventually become stand-up and it was almost like I was giving people a preview
of the stand-up.
I'm like, better to write them for myself and then just steal from them.
Also, I'm way into, I used to do a blog too.
I loved blogging, but I'm at a point now where I feel people are such exhibitionists.
You do something and you just immediately put it out.
I want to see what people think, read my shit.
I'm like, you know what, man?
Unless I made a samurai sword, I don't want you to see it
because I don't want to waste your time. I want you to see the most fire shit i made and i worked hard on it
it's worth your time that's a good attitude sometimes though i like reading people's blogs
um sometimes someone will write a blog and it'll change your day you know just it changes the
frequency of the way you think and just for whatever reason their thought just makes it
into your mind and bounces around in there and it changes some things.
Yeah, I don't think it's bad to write blogs.
I just think everybody's doing it.
And for me personally, I'm like, you know what?
I'd like to be in the lab and just only put something out.
I put out a lot of shit about my life in the last few years,
so I'm kind of making sure I really want to share these things now.
Right, yeah.
That's the thing about sharing.
You can't unshare.
You can't unshare.
Yeah.
And it's an interesting psychological thing,
this constantly giving yourself up to the internet.
Well, so there's a lot of people that live inside their phone.
Yeah.
They live inside their laptop and their phone.
They live in it.
And their interaction with the world comes directly through that.
That's their filter.
That's their condom for intimacy with the world.
It's very strange.
Yeah, we're going to learn a lot about ourselves constantly.
We're always learning about ourselves,
but I think this internet thing, people are starting to see,
wow, I put a lot of my shit out there.
I'm kind of naked out there.
Is this really who I am or is this some fucking alter ego?
I'm interested to see how this starts to affect psychology and identity.
Well, it's definitely affecting young kids. I mean, young kids today are so much more exposed than we were when we were kids. It's not even close. If you're going to high school today,
I mean, everything is on Instagram. Everything is on Facebook. Anything that happens,
it's even remotely interesting in school gets put out there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is the world we live in today.
It's very different.
When I was going to school, nobody knew shit.
You heard a rumor about some girl across town that jerks some dude off.
You're like, whoa.
Whoa, hot.
You hear about that?
Let me go jerk off and think about that.
But nobody put it out there in that way where the rest of the world could look at it.
And the rest of the world can see virtually anything that you put online today it's just a strange thing because when you're young
you also don't understand the consequences no when you're you're talking shit or saying something
or posting something you really have no idea what what that's going to do to people we look at these
things it's like oh you got 10 000 followers 20, 20,000, 100,000, million, right?
I don't think it registers.
Like 10,000 people is a lot of fucking people.
That's a college campus.
All you need is one.
And that one to get to someone who has 10,000.
And that 10,000, one of those 10,000, someone in that group has 20,000.
And that person knows someone who's got a million.
And in three or four steps, all of a sudden, a million people have seen that.
And then if it's funny or it's crazy or it's interesting,
like here's another cultural appropriation story.
There's this kid who was taking shit from this girl because he's a white guy with dreadlocks.
And I don't know if you saw this,
but there's this black girl
and there's this college in Northern California.
And she was giving this little tiny white dude a hard time.
She was just bullying him, man.
It was gross.
And she was telling him, you know, cut your hair.
You have any, say to a friend, you have any scissors?
I'm going to cut your hair.
And he's like, why can't I wear this?
She goes, because you're stealing from my culture,
which is ignorant on her part.
She doesn't even know any better
because the Greeks had dreadlocks.
The Vikings had dreadlocks.
Dreadlocks is what happens when you have dirty hair.
When you have dirty hair and it knots up in these loops.
Well, anyway, that video, someone was filming her bullying this.
He's a little tiny dude.
And this video of this black girl bullying this tiny little white guy got fucking millions and millions of hits within a day.
Because people recognized it and they were disgusted by it. And then people are also tired of all these self-appointed gatekeepers, self-appointed people that can tell
people. One of the beautiful things about culture is that culture can be shared and that people can
like me. I grew up learning Taekwondo and teaching classes in Korean because I grew up, that's what
I spent my life doing. And so that culture became a part
of my culture. It's not like I was stealing it or culturally appropriating it. I was doing it
honor and trying to do it justice. But people have decided it's another new way for someone
to stand above them and take the moral high ground and try to control people's behavior.
Yeah. I would say this, race is a social construct. When your only basis for an argument is your race versus somebody else's race, you got a fucking shitty argument. Do you know what I mean? When it becomes something about intention, and we're talking about intentions, and we're talking about like, are you trying to take a culture? Are you trying to support it? Are you a fan of this culture? Are you giving back to this culture? Those are productive conversations.
Like the one we had about Rick Bayless.
Look, dude, I'm not out here to try to slam dude's food.
Like I know a lot of people love his food.
So I'm not saying, oh, I know this shit.
I know Mexican food.
I'm a fucking Chinese guy.
Do you know what I mean?
Like my opinion about Mexican food doesn't matter, shouldn't matter you know but my my opinion about some this appropriation co-optation stuff is
i wish people didn't have to have a gatekeeper or a tour guide or somebody culturally similar
for them to try this food or go to this neighborhood right i would love if people
didn't have to have a shishi dining room with like american style service or a white face
or a great article to try this mexican food like i wish they would just go to the neighborhood and
go to the source and then there's no problem with rick bayless's food if we're all informed about
it right it's just tough when he is the point of entry well cultural appropriation to me is really
when you're pretending you're part of a culture.
Like if a dude pretends he's Native American and starts wearing feathers in his hair and shit like that.
That's a nutty person.
That's real.
That's legit.
You got problems.
Yeah.
Well, it's also real cultural appropriation if you're wearing something that's supposed to be sacred.
Like there's certain articles of clothing that in some cultures are considered sacred and you're not supposed to be just walking around on them.
Like, you know, what are those things called?
Is it a bindi? What are they they with Indian people Hindu people wearing their forehead?
You know that was like girls were wearing those things and but I think those are supposed to mean something in certain cultures
Like any kind I get it it kind of looks cool. You want to wear it cuz it looks cool
I get that yeah
But things get sketchy when you're pretending to be a different culture or you're lying about where you're from.
That's, in my eyes, more cultural appropriation.
Or taking it to give yourself an identity that is not yours.
Yeah.
See, all that is, though, is just dishonesty.
It's like not a white dude wearing dreadlocks.
He's not pretending to not be white. Or like that Rachel Dolezal person that was the NCAA NA NAACP person in Spokane, Washington,
who turned out to actually be white.
Yeah, that was the most insane thing ever.
It was awesome.
And the funny thing is she actually, like her intentions were like.
Yeah.
Well, she really does love black culture and black people.
And she was doing a great job, apparently, of running the NAACP up there.
She was insane, right?
She was totally insane.
For sure.
But when I listened to her intentions,
I'm like, I don't think you're a bad person.
You're just really confused.
And this is like,
I don't know how you got to this place.
I think some black dude
dicked her into delirium.
That's probably what happened.
He just fucked her so good.
She was just running around
with Tweety birds flying around her head
and she had no idea what she was doing
while she was doing it.
That's just my thought.
She was a tough one.
Well, there's crazy people out there.
And there's a broad spectrum of crazy activity.
Some of it that's logical and some of it that's not.
Some of it is little tiny white lies.
And some of it that's just pretending to be a different race.
Yeah, man.
That's strange. And in that strange shit is like what we're talking
about before we can all learn like anybody that tells like little white lies maybe they'll they'll
watch rachel dolezal or someone else who got busted in some gigantic cataclysmic lie and go
oh that's why you shouldn't lie oh that's why honesty and integrity are very important to
people because we communicate through noises that we make with our face that's supposed to level out the intent of your mind.
What people also don't realize is a lot of the times they think that we're friends with them for the peripheral shit.
But I think most people, like good people that you actually want to be your friends, they're not your friend because you have dreadlocks.
They're not your friend because you're aping or you're doing this they're your friend because they
fucking like you and you don't have to pretend you don't gotta pretend you don't gotta fucking
think just be who you are unless who you are sucks and then you should probably pretend you
should work on no then you work on it no just pretend to be black the move is orange spray tan
and dreadlocks and no. Yeah.
Well, honesty is always better.
And then if people don't like you, we'll figure out why they don't like you and improve upon
whatever aspect of your life that needs improving.
Don't pretend.
It's like, here's a perfect example of something that just never works.
Name dropping.
Name dropping is always gross and never works.
But yet dummies still try name dropping. Yeah. Name dropping is always gross and never works. But yet dummies still try name dropping.
There's a lot of people that still think, you know, we were over hanging out with Tom.
I told you I was hanging out with Dan last time.
Tom Cruise.
You said Dan first.
Oh, Dan.
Yeah, but that's different.
We're homies.
I brought him up first because I was saying that he was going to be here when I couldn't
go to your shit.
Well, you brought up Shane Smith too, but we're friends too.
We're all friends. Yeah. We're all buddies. That's different. You can up Shane Smith too, but we're friends too. We're all friends.
We're all buddies.
That's different.
You can't name drop someone who we're both friends with.
That's true.
That's different.
That's true.
But to other people listening.
Oh, you know Shane Smith from Vice?
He must be so cool.
The worst is when people name drop and they use only one name.
Yeah.
And you're supposed to know who it is.
Yeah.
We were over at Eddie's house. Who's Eddie? Eddie Murphy. What? You were just going to say name and you're supposed to know who it is yeah we were over at Eddie's house
who's Eddie
Eddie Murphy
what
you're just gonna say Eddie
and I'm supposed to know
yeah
or it's somebody famous
and they wanna drop the name
and they'll say the real name
and you're like
shut the fuck up dude
shut the fuck up
really like the real name
instead of like a rapper name
yeah like it'll be a rapper
or a DJ
and they'll use the real
yeah I was with
you know
like I'm friends with A-Track
and people
oh I was at a lawn
so I'm like
A-Track fam just whatever like I I was at a lawn. I'm like, A-Track fam, just whatever.
I also know his real name.
Whatever you want to do, man, drop one of them.
Drop both of them.
Yeah, what is name dropping?
Why do people still try to do that?
I don't know.
It's like a magic trick that just everybody knows.
It's just terrible.
It's terrible.
Yeah, it doesn't work.
It's terrible.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
It's like you're playing three-card money and you only got one card.
Like, listen, bitch, it's the same fucking card.
You can't do it.
You can't play that game.
Super funny shit.
Right?
Yeah.
Well, just weird behaviors, man.
It's like we were talking about before.
We learn from each other.
We learn from really great stuff, and we learn from shit, too.
We learn from dumb shit.
I learn, yeah yeah it's a
fucking wise men learn more from fools thing yes i'm a i'm a student of fools that's why i'm in
the youtube comments man learning from these get in there dude get in there with anonymous 69 205
up your ass whatever their name is dumbass university well there's there's definitely
i mean i'm joking around a lot about YouTube comments.
There's actually some people that get involved.
I mean, I go to science pages, and you look at the – there's some interesting YouTube comments where people debate the actual ramifications.
Like, I'm fascinated by this Planet 9 thing they're trying to observe now because this is something I've been studying for a long time.
trying to observe now, because this is something I've been studying for a long time, that they've been thinking, it was, there was very little evidence of it up until recently, but that there
was another planet outside the Kuiper belt, somewhere outside of Pluto. It's one of the
reasons why they declassified Pluto as a planet. But now they're almost positive that there's a
planet out there. They said, I think that they said within 99 99 certainty that there's a gigantic planet somewhere around four
to five times the size of the earth that is out way way way past jupiter and uh so i was going to
a lot of these youtube videos that were describing it and then reading the comments the comments were
fascinating so that's a totally different sort of world yeah you know people are debating like
the ramifications and then every now and then one of those zacharias hitchin people would jump in
there do you know zacharias hitchin is no zacharias hitchin was a guy who actually ironically enough
predicted this in the 70s but he called it the 12th planet because that's when they thought pluto
was still a planet and then they thought the moon was a planet. Like this is all based on the Sumerian text. This is all getting real convoluted now.
But Zachariah Sitchin, he is a biblical scholar.
He's dead now.
But he wrote all these books about this culture from another planet called the Anunnaki.
And this is transcribing the ancient Sumerian text.
The Sumerians were the oldest.
There he is.
See that thing that he's holding up in front of him?
That is a piece of
Sumerian art that
depicts these...
It looks like some fucking Transformers shit.
Well, it does, right? Well, what's interesting is
you see that star?
You see the star, the sun with all the planets?
That is our solar system. It's not just our solar
system. That is all the planets
in all the right sizes, which is kind of fucking crazy.
Wow.
Yeah.
And this was 6,000 years ago when a lot of people didn't even think that the world, they thought the world was flat.
Right.
But it also depicted this orbit.
What they believe is one of the things that the Sumerian texts describe is this elliptical orbit of this planet called Nibiru.
And this planet is the outside edge of our solar system.
It comes between Mars and Jupiter.
In this Zechariah Sitchin translation,
I think it was over 3,600-something years,
and that this is where the Anunnaki came from.
And what they did is they came down here,
they studied some lower hominids,
they introduced their DNA into these lower hominids and made human beings.
And so he had predicted this planet being outside of our solar system for a long time.
It's different. And it's there.
Yeah, it is there. Do we know what's on this planet?
Well, the orbit is different. The size of the orbit is different compared to what he described no we don't even
have a picture of it so we don't we definitely don't know what it looks like but the um the
anunnaki as described by zacharias hitchin is the same thing as um in the the biblical term of the
elohim like there's also different um descriptions of these giants that came from somewhere else like
those I think the description of Anunnaki what it means is those from heaven to earth came
and the idea is that there's advanced beings came down here and genetically engineered human beings
it's widely discredited by other scholars of ancient Babylonian and Sumerian culture,
but fun as shit to pretend and read and wonder,
well, what if he's right, man?
But see, when you do look at some of the stuff, though,
you go, okay, well, how did they know about the solar system?
How did they know about all those planets?
Not only that, they had the caduceus.
You know the caduceus, the symbol for medicine?
It's also the double helix of dna
and that's what he believes it represented he believes that the that that caduceus symbol
that they had um represents dna and that that's what the what the ancient sumerian people were
trying to describe when they carved these things into clay tablets, they were trying to, as best they could,
make some sort of a rational, logical depiction
of what they were being told by these ancient people.
Damn.
So we might have already figured it out once,
and then we're figuring it out again.
Or not.
Or there's just a giant...
Or they just have decorations that look like DNA.
See, there's the double helix. See have Decorations that look like DNA See there's
There's the double helix
See look at
You look at the double helix
Of DNA
And then you look at
The caduceus
Where this intertwined
You see the top one
With the two eagles
But like if I was gonna
If I was 6,000 years old man
And I was gonna design
Some shit with snakes
That makes me
6,000 years ago
Yeah
I mean it would
Kind of look like that
Well that
But it does look like
A double helix of DNA
I mean it's very very similar But it also looks like, that, but it does look like a double helix of DNA. I mean, it's very, very similar.
But it also looks like a guy was just like trying to decorate with two snakes.
Totally.
Doing the tango.
But why does it represent medicine?
And why does it still represent medicine today?
That caduceus, that symbol still represents medicine today.
True.
That one I'm having trouble explaining.
There's some weird shit.
There's also some weird shit in terms of some of the imagery that they had.
The solar system one is one of the most telling because it's really bizarre that without a telescope,
they were able to draw a detailed image of the solar system.
How the fuck did they do that?
How did they know that there was that many planets out there?
How were they able to differentiate between stars and planets?
How did they know the right number of planets?
Not only that, they also had a detailed depiction of the creation of the moon they have two you know scientists and uh astronomers they have earth one and earth two meaning that earth was a certain size and a certain
shape in the beginning and then it was hit by another planet um that's also in the ancient
sumerian depiction of how the universe was created or how the solar system was created.
There's a planet called Marduk in Tiamat.
And Tiamat collided with Marduk or something like that.
I forget exactly what the – but essentially it's Earth 1 and Earth 2.
It's the same model that actual astrologers or astronomers use today when they're describing the Earth.
But he thinks these people from the other planet came here and created humans.
He does.
He thinks, well, he's dead.
He did.
He believed that that's what the ancient Sumerian text was trying to describe.
But there's a whole website called sitchiniswrong.com.
And sitchiniswrong.com is from other scholars who were tired of listening to all this, what
they felt was nonsense.
other scholars who were tired of listening to all this, what they felt was nonsense.
And they, you know, they, they sort of laid out what they think is incorrect about his translations.
But at the end of the day, put the translations aside and you look at a 6,000 year old depiction
of the solar system.
It's like, what the fuck is that?
Not only that, there's these also depictions of these enormous people with these little
monkey people sitting in their lap.
also depictions of these enormous people with these little monkey people sitting in their lap.
And this was what he believed was describing the Anunnaki's genetic alterations of monkeys,
of taking these lower hominids, introducing their superior advanced DNA into these monkeys,
and creating something that's very different.
Do-do-do-do.
I know we would do it,'ll tell you that for fuck sure
right
if we found another planet
there was a bunch of
dumb monkeys on
we did a detailed
like audit of the planet
and found no
higher animals
nothing that had a computer
we would drop our seeds
fuck yeah
I mean we're probably
already looking for those places
to just
yeah for sure
dudes
at the very least
someone would fuck
one of those things like Avatar right that was like one of the most realistic things about
avatar that dude wanted to fuck one of those blue people i would be scared to put my dick in a blue
person yeah you never know what's going on yeah i don't know man that's fucking that shit probably
burns through condoms especially if they're big blue people they're so much bigger than us yeah
and like you know especially when you look at the mating habits of things that we know on Earth.
What is this?
The skeletons they found?
A 36-foot tall...
I didn't find no fucking skeletons.
Throw that away.
What are you going to?
I'm not going to fuck a 36-foot tall blue person.
Well, if you do, you're going to need some help.
You're not going to do it alone.
36-foot tall.
That shit is so not real.
Well, it's fun.
Most of it is fun.
But if you look at that image that you had pulled up before, Jamie, there's an image
of one of those Anunnaki having a person, having a little monkey-like person sitting
in their lap.
It's not on this page.
It's before when you had it.
Look at some of those other images.
There's these ones where these guys these
enormous looking characters have these little tiny monkey people with thumbs on their feet
and they're sitting on this guy's lap they have thumbs on their feet yeah in the drawing yeah
they're smaller and they have thumbs on their lap and according to the text this guy described
the text is very confusing too because it's something called cuneiform.
And cuneiform, it's like – have you ever been in an old building that has like those old school nails?
Do you know what those old school nails looked like like in the turn of the century?
They were like a flat top, but it was almost like a wedge, and that's what nails looked like.
That's how they – that was their writing.
That's not it, Jamie.
But that's one of them that's similar though.
But this is Egyptian.
You're looking at something that's one of them that's similar, though. But this is Egyptian. You're looking at something that's Egyptian.
But the Anunnaki one, you'd had it from just, if you go back to that window that you had before,
go back to that window that you had before that had the depiction of the solar system.
Clicked around on that one, okay.
Yeah, because when you would went, whatever search that you used for that,
there was one of them that had one of those homeboys had one of them sitting on his lap.
Right up there.
Right up there at the top.
See?
Right there.
Bam.
See that?
Oh.
Like, look at that.
With the thumb foot.
Yeah.
There's a few of these that have little weird that people think are depictions of things
with tails.
It's very strange stuff, man.
It's very strange. At man. It's very strange.
At the very least, they had an advanced knowledge.
That guy looks like a Teletubby, the one he's holding up.
He kind of looks like a Teletubby.
Well, it doesn't look like a monkey in that picture,
but in some of them, they actually look like they have tails.
He got the fuckboy knot haircut, too.
There's all sorts of weird stuff involved in it.
Their knowledge of the solar system was one of the most disturbing things because you're talking about six
thousand years ago like how did they know about all those planets how do they
know that they were they they knew the right orbit you know they knew that
Jupiter was like far larger than Mars they had Mars smaller than Earth they
had like all the orbits correct it was a really strange stuff yeah it's it it's
too good to be a coincidence,
but then I'm like,
I don't know if I believe the whole shebang.
Yeah.
You know?
Almost always the whole shebang's wrong.
But it would be awesome
if somebody just showed up on this planet,
like Optimus Prime one day and was like,
hey, I created you guys.
We've been over here.
Like, oh, I've been wondering where you guys were.
Would you think that that would be fun though?
It would be awesome
Isn't it better to be at the top of the food chain
Than to be waiting for our galactic overlords
To tell us how much we suck
It would be just awesome
If somebody showed up like this is what life's about
This is what you're supposed to do
Eddie your fucking ideas are terrible
Please fucking do this
It would be devastating to the self esteem of people living on earth
I'll tell you that, because they would realize.
We would be like very Lord of the Flies-esque,
like we were a bunch of kids left alone to our own devices,
and then when the adults showed up, they're like,
what the fuck are you doing?
Yeah.
And you realized everybody's just acting like a psychopath
because they have no one to look over them.
It would be cool, though.
If I've been doing it all wrong, I kind of want to know what the hell we're supposed to do.
Well, we're definitely doing it all wrong.
But I think we're supposed to figure it out on our own.
Look, if we've got Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders as our only hopes to be the commander-in-chief of the greatest army the world has ever known, for fuck's sure we're doing it wrong.
We're 100% doing it wrong.
we've been doing it wrong wrong we're 100 doing it wrong this is these are not the great scholars and the great intellectuals that we need yeah to help run this world there's no one amongst them
that has like a brilliant philosophy even when you're looking at you're looking at bernie and
hillary and bernie as much as i love him and as much as i love some of his ideas you see that guy
and hillary and they're bickering back and forth during these debates. That's so unbecoming of someone who's supposed to be the president.
The leader.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially a dude who's in his 60s and some lady who, you know, she covers everything
except the very top of her neck.
I mean, it's bizarre.
It's bizarre.
Like you're supposed to be further along in this crazy journey than us.
If you want to be the president, you should be so
far ahead that you have some lessons that you can impart upon the rest of us. You have some ideas
about how we can improve our policies. You have some ideas on what laws that we can establish
that would probably be better to protect us from greed and from evil corporations and from people
that are raping the world of all its natural resources. All those ideas. Well, well the thing is the really smart people joe they they have other ways to control and fucking
rule the planet you know like i don't think the president is actually the most powerful person
you're going illuminati on me right now bro i think so do you believe in the illuminati
not illuminati but i just think that i mean if for for some of these people like would i like
michael like bloomberg why would bloomberg run? Bloomberg can already fucking call shots from where he's at.
He has more money than fucking anybody.
Well, maybe he feels like the system is broken and he's in a situation to give his life meaning
and maybe enhance the lives of other people by helping.
I don't know because I don't know him.
I'm not even familiar with him, but I'm just playing devil's advocate.
Yeah.
Devil's advocate would say that if you have all that money and you have all that freedom,
why wouldn't you try to make the world a little bit of a better place?
Yeah, I agree.
But I think that they can do it in a different way.
I mean, look, the Koch brothers, I mean, they're using their means to mold the world the way they see it.
I think the people who really have power, they're like looking at the president,
it's like
Guys a puppet, you know, well, it's definitely been shown to be a puppet more than once Yeah
More than one different administration has been shown to be completely at the influence of the people that got him in the office in the
First place. Yeah, it's all disappointing, you know
Yeah, and that would all be wiped out of the Anunnaki showed up in a gigantic gold disc came out levitating
You're telling us how stupid we are that we need the Anunnaki to come from a gigantic gold disc came out levitating telling us how stupid we are.
We need the Anunnaki
to come fucking save us.
Do you think so?
But we're gonna be that someday.
That's my thoughts.
Captain Save-A-Ho.
Save these...
Save these hoes.
Well, yeah.
They would totally be
Captain Save-A-Ho.
The rest of the other aliens
would be like,
bitch, what are you doing?
Get the fuck off Earth.
Are you going to Earth?
This planet of heroin addicts.
Have you not watched TV?
Have you not gone on Earth and looked at the YouTube comments?
They're fucking savages.
Get out of there, man.
They're going to eat you and fuck you.
And not necessarily in that order.
They're going to come on your tits, bro.
Dude, run.
They're going to come on your grandma's tits.
Get out.
Get out of that planet.
If someone could be the first person to fuck an Anunnaki,
that would be a contest
that would be a radio contest
I feel like if it was
between humans and Anunnakis
it's not a human
fucking Anunnaki
it would be the Anunnaki
fucking the human
you say that
but what if it's a really
smart
clever
crafty person
and an Anunnaki
that's been getting
$30,000 a year
and really doesn't have
any motivation
and they're weak I think even the shittiest Anunnaki is gonna fuck getting $30,000 a year and really doesn't have any motivation and they're weak.
I think even the shittiest Anunnaki is going to fuck a human through a wall.
You say that.
Through that brick wall.
You say that, but take one of the dumbest people of today and put them in a room with one of the smartest people from ancient Rome.
And who would be running shit?
Smartest dude from ancient Rome.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Well, don't you think that would be the case as far as like advanced intelligence?
Like if you get a really dumb,
I mean, unless they figured out a way
to eliminate stupidity,
which it seems like you're always going to have
conflict and resolution.
That seems like what the universe
is supposed to be all about.
The universe is about problems
and solutions for those problems
and that's how things advance.
And that's what the universe of thought is in this world. It's always constant conflict and resolution of that conflict and
trying to figure out how to never have this conflict again and what's the best way to get
even natural disasters and all this thing. There are opportunities to innovate. There are
opportunities to figure out, okay, we saw what happened in Fukushima. How do we get power and
not have this problem and what do we do? And then all these minds converge and they try to figure out solutions.
I think that's just always going to be the case.
I think that's what causes things to improve is this constant battle.
If everything was groovy and perfect, nothing would get done.
Yeah.
You have to have struggle.
Yeah.
There's a dilemma that always has to be addressed.
Which is dope.
It gives you meaning.
It is dope. Should we end on that? Yeah. It's dope. Yeah, there's a dilemma that always has to be addressed. Which is dope. It gives you meaning. It is dope.
Should we end on that?
Yeah.
It's fucking good.
It's dope.
Yeah, it's good.
Tell everybody about your show.
Where can they get it?
When can they get it?
And tell everybody
about your book.
April 28,
Viceland,
Wong's World comes out.
You're going to get
the Jamaica episode.
It's going to be incredible.
The book,
Double Cup Love,
May 31st.
I went back to China
with my brothers,
brought a white woman
with me
it's a love story
oh shit
it's incredible
Eddie
Wong
yes
and you can follow
Eddie on Twitter
it's Mr. Eddie Wong
and on Instagram
it's the same right
same thing
Mr. Eddie Wong
thanks for having me
my brother anytime
best podcast in the world
oh my friend
yes
even on Anunnaki Planet
I'm sure it's better
than any Anunnaki podcast.
I think they might have us beat.
All right, we'll see you guys
on Friday,
and I'll see you guys
tomorrow night, 420 in Seattle.
Two shows at the Moore Theater.
Holla!
Do you think the JRE is better
than the worst Anunnaki podcast?
We're better than them.