The Joe Rogan Experience - #791 - Steve Schirripa

Episode Date: April 26, 2016

Steve Schirripa is an actor, producer, author, and voice artist, best known for portraying Bobby Baccalieri on The Sopranos. http://unclestevesny.com

Boom. We're live. Shutting the laptop. I don't need that. You got a flip phone? I got a flip phone. I don't need a fucking laptop. No electronics today. No. I got a flip phone. Simple guy. You know me a long time. What do I need? I get texts and make a call. Does it at least give you a full keyboard for text? No. I do. Or are you doing four presses to get an S?

Absolutely. That's it. So that way, if you text me, I'll give you an answer, but it's going to take a while. And just give you a quick answer. I can't have a conversation like people do. Some people get ridiculous. What are you up to? What am I up to? Exactly.

That's what I say. You want to talk like a 12-year-old girl? Call me, man. What are we doing? I mean, I'm not a teenager. Call me if you want to talk. That's what I'm saying. Shit.

It's good to see you, brother. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's been a long time. A really long time. I've known you for a long fucking time, dude. It's interesting to see a friend who was in, I mean, you were always in show business because you ran the Riviera, but to go from that to being on The Sopranos, I remember hearing about it and then seeing it, and The Sopranos was my favorite show at the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ran into you, I think, in Little Italy way back when, when I was living down there. So it had to be early 2000, like that, 99, 2000, 2001. I just couldn't believe it. It was so weird watching a guy like you, all of a sudden, who was just a friend, all of a sudden you're on my favorite show. It's a strange thing to watch someone who you like who's on a show playing somebody else.

Yeah. You know what the thing is? I can't even say, like, you know, Joe, like, I couldn't even say, well, you know, it was a dream, man. I always wanted to do it because I never wanted to do it. You know, I was, like, screwing around, you know, and I think Pollock put me in one of his things and Bruce Baum. And, you know, I was running the club, you know, used to work the club, right? The Extreme Comedy, remember?

I got bummed out when I heard they were tearing down the Riviera. Yeah, yeah. I got bummed out. A lot of people, a lot of people. I really got sad. I wish I could have went back because it was, at one time it was good. It was really good. Is it gone now?

Is it completely? No, they're not going to die. I think they start this summer. I think they start soon, you soon, knocking the thing down. I saw Dice in the upstairs room like a year and a half ago or so. I went down there. They started doing shows up there. I think Amy Schumer, and they did Dice, and Gilbert, and a bunch of people.

And that used to be the female impersonator show. Yes. That guy's still around. Frank Marino. Just keep on going. He keeps on going for 30 years. Well, they have pictures of him. They should be arrested for fraud for the fucking pictures they use of him.

The guy's got to be in his 70s. No, he's in his 50s. He's 85 years old. He's 50s. He's at least 100 years old. He's got a house. He's got a house. I had to film something at his house once, and it's like a mini Liberace house, like

that kind of thing. It does what you think it is. Oh, yeah. That's what it is. I'm sure. He also would be crazy. He had a housekeeper, and he would leave things around on purpose to see if they were cleaning. Oh, God.

One of those guys. Of course. He's still going. I think he's at the, I don't know, the Imperial. One of those things. Something. One of those strange casinos. He guy one of those guys of course he's still going i think he's at the i don't know the imperial what's one of them one of those strange casinos he's one of those but they're still going and the guy's still playing the the guy that does tina turn is older than tina turn well i remember watching that show once that show i watched once and crazy girls yeah i watched that right you know there was comics used to come in and out of there stand up over the years i remember years ago they needed a

fill-in i put sinbad in there really in crazy girls because it was upstairs you know the shows were around for years and they all ran simultaneously it was the three yeah you know hey we had the comedy club we had had the college crazy girls So it was all you know yeah, no I remember it was it was it was the first place I ever worked in Vegas Yeah, yeah, yeah, we I did that extreme comedy xxx right you came in for the weekend Which was great put you in the suite do the thing I took a photo of my name on the marquee cuz I was like look At that. It's my name. I had one of those cameras that you buy, the little disposable ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, a lot of stuff. I started at the Rift in 1986. Whoa. You know, way back when it was still like, you know, one of the top, you know, still a good hotel. I mean, mob run. That's what you're trying to say. Well, not really. That kind of was gone. But then you had Rickless, who was kind of just. I mean, mob run. That's what you're trying to say. Well, not really. That kind of was gone.

But then you had Rickless, who was kind of just a different kind of mobster. You know, he was in Israel. He started the junk bonds. He was nice. Who is he? Mishul and Rickless. He was married to Pia Zadora. He owned it when I was there.

So they just found a different way to skim the money, you know, through construction or whatever. They weren't bag men. It was just a different deal. the money, you know, through construction or whatever. They weren't bag men. It was just a different deal. Like the air conditioners he bought for the new building, they were from Israel. Like they didn't have parts in the United States.

So like all the air conditioners, you know what I'm saying? They found different ways. But he was good to me. You know, he was good to me, Rickles. And he owned the hotel when I first got there in 86. And Sinatra was, you know, played there in 88, 89, 90. Wow. Sinatra was there. You still had Eliza Minnelli playing there.

You had Milton Berle, Sid Caesar. I mean, there was still guys playing, you know. Wow. Yeah, yeah. There was a lot of stuff came through there. So you got to see all those people there. I saw Sinatra night after night after night. Wow.

And I just, after I was done work, I'd go sit in the back of the room. You know, sometimes my wife would come, you know. Wow. And it was, you know, it was like no big deal after a while, you know. That's crazy. I got a tape of him. I got a tape of him on New Year's Eve. I think it's New Year's Eve 89 or 90.

The guys, the sound men took it. It was closed circuit. Remember closed circuit? In the room. Just in the room. And they put a VHS and Betamax, whatever the hell it was. And he's drunk. His toupee

is kind of crooked. And Joey Villa. Remember Joey Villa? No. He was a comic like a real, you know, a real hacky, thiefy guy. He was in Splash, that show. Okay. So you had Joey Villa open for Pia Zadora, and then Dreesen opened for,

Tom Dreesen opened for Sinatra, and he did a show upstairs and downstairs. He was drunk on his ass, Sinatra. And I have a tape of it somewhere. I still have it somewhere. And he says, show upstairs and downstairs. He was drunk on his ass, Sinatra. And I have a tape of it somewhere. I still have it somewhere. And he says, I don't care. I play upstairs. I play downstairs.

If they pay me, I'll sing in a phone booth. He didn't care at that point. Wow. How old was he back then? I don't know. He just turned 100. It was like 1990. That was probably the beginning of the end, right?

He started losing a little. He had a teleprompter on stage. He was reading. He wasn't completely out of it, but I think he died in 99, if I'm not mistaken. He would forget his lyrics? Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

Yeah, absolutely. Was it because he was so hammered? No, no. I just think he was getting older, and I think, to be honest, in my opinion, they kept him out there too long. You know? Oh, yeah.

You know, I think whoever the powers may be, I don't know who that was. I think he stayed a little too long there. You know? But, hey, to see him. I saw him in 82 when I first got to town in 80. I saw him 1981, 82, 83. In those days at Caesars. I mean, that was something.

I saw Sammy Davis, you know? Wow. Yeah. I saw all those, you know, Johnny Matts, I mean, that was something. I saw Sammy Davis, you know. Wow. Yeah. I saw all those, you know, Johnny Matts, all those guys that were there. I saw a lot of stuff that people were gone, you know. Yeah, you like caught the bridge for the last of the old school Vegas. Absolutely. When I moved in, it was 350,000 people.

Whoa. I was friendly with the casino, the Joe Pesci character. Tony Spalaccio, that was his character. I was friendly with that guy. I was a bouncer. He would come in the club all the time. Paul Anka owned the club. He would always give me a 20.

He was giving me 20, and I was for years. If I was a bartender, he'd send up a 20. He was always a good guy to me. Now, I don't know what he did, what he didn't do. He was good to me. I didn't know the De Niro character. Him, I never knew. He was good to me i didn't know the the uh i didn't know the deniro character him i never knew he was around but i didn't know him but the pesci character uh tony spolaccio and he had a guy fat herbie and i was there his son got married i was the

bouncer at the wedding to make sure fbi didn't get into the into the wedding swear to god they had a bouncer at the wedding. I was a bouncer. I had a tuxedo. I was a bouncer at the wedding to make sure nobody that's not on that list doesn't come in. But they were worried about the FBI at the wedding? They were worried because at the time, there was a lot of, you know, it was a small town.

It was easy. I mean, you know, they were doing whatever they were doing. I mean, I don't know, you know. I mean, I was never privy to any of that, but they were around. How close was he to the character that joe pesci played you know i didn't see the nastiness pesci caught the the voice and the accent he has that uh chicago thing you know and uh i only saw him being like a gentleman you

know to be honest he had kids and i mean that's all i saw he was you know you have some drinks he's in the club but he didn't do anything crazy well they always exaggerate things for shows and movies yeah of course i mean i would assume i don't know where they got it from but yeah i mean uh you know he was around he was kind of the boss in town you know in the movie he got beat to death with a baseball bat is that what happened yeah and i think that did happen i think at a cornfield him and his brother oh back in chicago yeah but you know there was a small town there was everybody knew everybody was two clubs no clubs no clubs at all in the casinos that was there was no nightclubs really no nightclubs that started in the 90s i

think at the rio no nightclubs they had two clubs in town paul anchor on one and then there was another one like i would go to work at 1 in the morning to 9 in the morning, and I would leave, and the dance floor was packed at 9 o'clock, 9 a.m. Wow. And then people would go out from there. It was just a completely different thing, you know. And all the entertainers would come out. You know, like, I mean, I saw OJ, and Cosby was out all the time,

and Rich Little and whoever. It was Bob Hope, man. Bob Hope came into the club. He left the bathroom attendant 30 cents. 30 cents? 30 cents. I swear they got a quarter and a nickel. That's hilarious that you remember that, though. Yeah.

Well, you know, there's certain things. I remember, what's his name? Copperfield gave me $2. He said, hey, if there's any girls, bring them over. Two bucks. I swear to my hand to God. Oh, my God. $2.

And he was headlining, but not that famous yet. But he gave me like two bucks, three bucks. He said, hey, you know, any girls, any single girls, bring them this way. And in the meantime, I had guys giving me hundreds, you know. It was all dope dealers. You know, back I had guys giving me hundreds, you know. It was all dope dealers. You know, back then, it was all crazy, you know. Did Cosby have the reputation back then? He didn't have a reputation of doing anything to the girls,

but always chasing girls. Always was. Yeah, always, always, always. But he didn't have the reputation of drugging them? No, no. I didn't know anything about any of that. I also knew that there was a time he didn't tip. You know, there's a lot of these guys don't want to, you know.

You know, Scotty Pippen's famous. No tipping Pippen. That was his nickname. Yeah, I heard that. You know, Horton Michael Jordan. You know, and the worst of all is Tiger Woods. He's the absolute worst tipper. And you could ask anyone.

That's disgusting. There was a girl that I knew. She managed a restaurant, and she was friendly with him. And they would go out, you know, not just her and him, you know, like a group, whatever. She said, I couldn't afford to go out with him anymore because I was leaving tips because he would, you know, it was costing me $300, $400 just from cleaning up his mess. Oh, my God. Well, how does a guy do that?

I don't understand how a guy becomes that famous and that rich. Because I think sometimes, Joe, I think guys think it's a privilege for you to have me in your place. Wow. I think it gets to that point. That's where it goes. Crazy. You know. Listen, when I started making more money, I started taking better care of people.

I mean, I was always a good tipper. But come on, man. You know, you're lucky enough to, you know, you've done well. Knock on wood, I've done well. I mean, what the hell? Pay it forward a little bit. You don't feel it. That's the thing.

Of course not. Absolutely. If I leave someone $100 at a dinner, you know. And you made their night. Yeah. You know, they go home and they, Joe Rogan, you know, he came, he took good care of me. You made this guy's night. This guy's probably got two kids or whatever. You know what I mean?

You know what I like to do? I like to do it and get the fuck out of there before they realize it. I call it like leaving a love bomb. I agree with you. Just leave a bomb, get out of the room. I agree with you, you know. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, some people I think, and it happens a lot.

You hear it all the time. A lot of athletes, especially, you know. Yeah, well, the ego that's involved in being an athlete sometimes, like the, you know, the I'm the man, I can't be stopped, you know, fuck everybody else, fuck the world. I agree with you. It sort of breeds it. But there's fame, like if you go like dealers in Vegas especially

because everybody comes through there. There's like, I think it was Affleck when he was dating J-Lo. My buddy was a crap dealer. And he left him five grand and she picked up 45, you know, in chips. And she picked it all up at 500 and left 500. He left the 5,000 tip. She picked it up. What a cunt.

Yeah, absolutely. What a cunt. Yeah, absolutely. She stole. She's a fucking thief. He knew she did it, but she went, you don't even leave that much. Oh, fuck. You see it all the time. All the time. I remember guys that tipped me years ago.

Way back when. Tony Danza, who I'm friends with, gave me $20. Like in 1981, he gave me a 20. But that's like a big part of the whole culture of Vegas is tipping well. Absolutely. It always has been. And the thing is, if you want to get treated right, you need to tip. Yeah.

That's it. Because it doesn't even take that much, Joe. Guys don't understand, they're waiting in line for three hours at the buffet. I mean, why don't you just give the guy $20, $10, and you'll get in the line right now. Well, what I understand is a guy like Tiger Woods, he's not going to feel $100. No, but I think he's just- If he gives a bartender $100, that won't- But that's a character flaw, man.

That's a character flaw that you just don't want to share. I mean, they don't deserve it. Yeah. That's what that's all about just don't want to share. I mean, they don't deserve it. That's what that's all about. It's just so crazy to me. I just don't understand it. Plus, if I want to get treated good, it doesn't matter who you are. You could be a plumber from Encino and throw a few bucks around, and you're going to get treated like a king for the night.

What's it take? Well, that's what that whole town is about. At least it was at one point in time. That's what it was built on. They kind of took that away because a lot of people, and it started with Steve Wynn, a lot of people, he was a big one. He thought they were making too much money, the dealers, the waitresses, the captains in the showroom.

I got a 90-year-old friend who was a captain in the showroom during Elvis at the Hilton. He was making $800 a night cash in the 70s. Whoa. A lot of money. What is that now? That's probably like $8,000. And Vegas at the time, it still doesn't cost much to live in Vegas, but then it costs nothing.

So these guys were buying land and they were investing and going out at night and it was trickling down money. Well, Wynn stopped all that. So he's the first guy to do the numbered seating. I don't understand. Well, he did the summer. He got rid of all those captains, maitre d's, waitresses, you know. He got rid of them?

Well, they no longer. When you have a show in Vegas, you have a numbered ticket to get in. Those people know where they're going. It didn't used to be that way. You used to buy, you're going to go in, and then you tip the matriarch, $20, $30, $40, and you get a good seat. That's what Vegas was built on for years and years and years. He stopped all that. Same thing with a dealer.

He didn't want them to make as much, so they put it on the check now. They all pool, no matter whether you work hard or not. So when you go to a blackjack game, when you go to a blackjack game, and you got a dealer that's a prick, and you say, this bitch, I'm not going to give her anything. You don't tip her. And then there's a nice guy, and you say, you know what? He's a lot of fun.

I'm going to give him $100. Well, at the end of the night, that all goes into a big pool, 24 hours a day. Every dealer splits the money. That sounds ridiculous. Ridiculous. So some guys are slackers, and they go, hey, man, I ain't got out. I'm just going to be a robot and do what I do. And no personality and lose all the flair.

That's exactly right. That's so crazy. Yeah. Why did Steve Wynn decide to do that? Because I think he thought people tipping big, making too much money, money that could have been instead of tipping, he'll make the money. You know, instead of me giving the maitre d' $100 for a good seat, I'm just going to charge them $100 for a seat, and I'm going to get the money.

And that's how it is now. You know how expensive tickets are in Vegas? Oh, that's awful. A comedy club in Vegas costs like $60 or something. Does it really? Like the Brad Garrett club? Yeah, I think it's like $60. That's a nice little club.

Yeah, and it's done well. It's him and the Laugh Factory now are the big ones. The Riv went away. The Improv, I just read, is going away in May. Is it? They've been there a long time. The Laugh Factory, Dice is doing a residency. Oh, is he?

Yeah, he's doing like a temporary residency. He's got it like blocked off, some dates blocked off. He'll do well. He's doing well. Yeah. He'll do well. Well, he's got that new Showtime show now. Yeah.

He had called me. He wanted me to read for a role there, which I would have loved to because I think he's funny and he's good. You would have been great on that. He's a good actor. He's very good. I always thought he was a really good actor

from way back from Crime Story. Remember that? I do remember that. Did you ever see that Woody Allen movie that he did? Blue Jasmine? Absolutely.

He was excellent in that movie. He was a really good actor. He's a good actor. He's done other stuff too before that. I mean, it just finally, after all the other stuff,

they recognized it. Yeah. And I think his show's funny. It is funny. Well, and so is Natasha, his wife on the show. Yeah.

She's fucking hilarious. I saw Kevin Corrigan the other night in New York. Oh yeah? Kevin, the play's sidekick there. Yeah. Yeah,

I saw him there and I ran into him. Well, Dice took a lot of shit for a long time and now it's finally coming around. It's cool to like Dice again.

Yeah, I guess. Why it went so bad in the first place, I don't know. It was MTV and political correctness, and it was just a different time. Back then, they were trying to get away with that. They were trying to move away from that kind of humor that he was doing. Yeah, but the thing is,

which, you know, you're a comedian. Who's to say who can say what on stage and what's funny and what's not funny? And we could go round and round. Yeah. I can't make a joke about this. Well, that's what the whole thing's about. Do you know a guy like Buddy Hackett and those old comics that used to do Polish jokes and Chinese jokes and Japanese jokes?

They couldn't even work now. No, that's out of the picture. You know those guys who should do the accents and all that nonsense and, you know. You can still make fun of white people. Yeah, oh, absolutely. If you're a black guy, you can make fun of white people. Oh, absolutely. That's totally acceptable.

And you can't make fun of black people. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Even light-skinned black people have a hard time making fun of black people you gotta be very careful there you go yeah yeah uh i don't get all that but that's swung so far joe sometimes and i'm not a political guy i think that's so broken in the country it can't be fixed well you know what it is i think is more people have opinions now more people can express their opinions now. It's just a different

world where there's so much coming at you from so many different angles. And then people realize they can express their opinions. So many people realize that if they say something on Facebook, it'll get a bunch of likes. Or if they say something on Twitter. Yeah, but it's easy to do that stuff anonymous. A lot

of people are anonymous. They don't want to. They don't want to, though. A lot of people don't want to do it anonymous. But they do it anonymous. There's that, too. I mean, there's the people that could just, you know, motherfuck you from now until forever, and you don't even know who the guy is. That's true.

But when they see it, they still know they did it. So that's why they're doing it. They're doing it to get attention, even if the attention doesn't directly come to them in their, you know, as Steve Sharippa, their name. It doesn't come at their name. It's still, they know that fuckface69, the Twitter profile, they know they made that. And so when they're saying something nasty about you, they know that they're the one that wrote it.

I guess. And if you respond. Maybe they tell their friend. It's just people, people just, it's a new thing. It's a new thing to be able to reach out to people. It's a new thing to be able to protest people, to comment on people, and to be able to organize things very easily.

Like if a comedian, like any comedian, if they say something that someone thinks crosses a line, they can organize a boycott, they want to get them kicked off a television show. Absolutely. I mean, it happens over and over and over. They're keeping these guys from working. Yeah. Keeping these guys from working.

For what? Well, because they're disgusting. Well, and the Curt Schilling, the announcer for ESPN, didn't he just get fired because he doesn't believe the transgenza bathroom thing? Was that what he got fired for? He got fired for that, and he kept on talking about it. Well, you know what?

He had a picture that he put on Twitter that showed a guy in a dress with his tits hanging out that said, under this new law, this guy could share a bathroom with your daughter. So you're fired for that? Well, here's the deal. That is possible. And someone not admitting that, that doesn't help anybody. I mean, it just doesn't. It doesn't help a goddamn I mean, it just doesn't it doesn't help. It doesn't help a goddamn thing

That's that is possible Like you could get a fucking nutbag who wears a dress and what's a whip his cock out in front of women and says he's a Woman that that is a real thing like I'm not saying that it should yeah I mean, I'm not saying that that's the majority but we got to define What's a woman and what's not a woman yeah like if you're going to allow transgender people to transition and become uh the other gender whether it's woman to male male to female you gotta we gotta make some sort of a standard where we know that that's exactly what's going on and it's not just someone who's a crazy fuck

who wants to wear a dress but how do you do that it's a good But how do you do that? That's a good question. How do you do that? Well, that's why the idea of making people go to a bathroom that is their gender, what they're born with, like their sex, like what's their chromosomes. It's not preposterous. And everybody's making it seem like it's bigoted to force people to use a bathroom that matches their chromosomes. And that's kind of crazy. And it's not saying that you should

Discriminate against transgender people or people who feel like they were born in the wrong sex no not at all Maybe we need to have three fucking bathrooms. Yeah, maybe we need It's probably the easy way maybe it should be male female and go for it. Do you remember in crazy girls, I don't know if you remember the girl that was the emcee, excuse me, Johnna Steele. She was a, I don't know. She's a big girl. She got her buzzer chopped off, whatever that is. I do remember because we met her.

Yeah, she was fine. Joey Diaz and I met her and she showed it to Joey and Joey said it looked like a bat with its mouth open. Oh, that's hilarious. That's hilarious. But she was, you know, I was friendly with her. She was great. She had the mind of a guy.

You know what I mean? She went with a lot of different guys and she was very funny. She was very funny. Very funny. And she looked a lot like a woman. Absolutely. I don't know if I would have known if I would have known. You know what I'm saying?

And this is 19, what was it? 97 or something like that? Oh, even before that. Yeah. But the bottom line about that kind of stuff is you're not allowed to even talk about it. If you talk about it, you're a bigot. Like, we have to leave open the possibility that there's some crazy fucks out there. There's some guys that would just decide that all they have to do to hang in a woman's room is dress like a woman. That doesn't mean that there aren't real transgenders.

Like, what was her name? Jonah? What was it? Jonah. Jonah. Like, Jonah. Like, her going into a woman's bathroom? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. 100%. But what about Joey Diaz? What if Joey Diaz put on a fucking dress? I'm not joking around. I mean, that is entirely possible. There's a guy that said that he

identifies with being a six-year-old girl. He's a 52-year-old man. He dresses up like a girl. He's got parents. He's got a daughter. He's got a family, and he identifies with being a six-year-old girl. When do you stop that? Is everybody just allowed to play make-believe?

I understand. Steve, I think I'm a wolf. I identify with being a wolf. I'm going to wear wolf skin everywhere, and I'm going to lift my leg to piss on fire hydrants, just like a dog. That's what I'm saying. I think everything's so broken, Joe. It's crazy. It can't be fixed.

I think George Carlin— Look at this guy. Meet the 52-year-old father who identifies as a 6-year-old girl. This is not a joke. I mean, people are out of their fucking minds. And the thing is, I can't deny I was married. I can't deny I have children, he says. Well, then you're a fucking father.

Whatever happened to loving yourself? Whatever happened to that? Wasn't that something that was preached for the longest time? Love yourself for who you are. Don't try to loving yourself? Whatever happened to that? Wasn't that something that was preached for the longest time? Love yourself for who you are. Don't try to change yourself. Don't look to get your fucking chin shaved down, your eyebrows raised, and your nose shaved off. But everybody does that. I mean, this is the whole plastic surgery world now.

Right. True. True. The whole plastic surgery world. At some point, a lot of these girls are going to look exactly the same because you see some of them now just regular girls there's a lot of old ladies in my neighborhood

that are fucking monster faces they get that rubber face you know when they shoot the fillers in there and the whole face swells up and it looks like a monster they look alike the thing is this how do you look? You look yourself in the mirror and go, you know.

It's dysmorphia. This looks pretty good. Hey, listen, how many actresses have ruined their careers because they changed their face? Oh, quite a few. Quite a few. Well, I think the problem is they think that they look different than they look. You think so? And they think that it's going to work.

They think it's going to work, and then everybody else sees them and then they see what everybody else sees oh my god what have I done yeah you know it's dysmorphia it's the same thing anorexics have it's same thing bodybuilders have what they think that they look normal and they're fucking gigantic they think they're too small you know it's body dysmorphia that's what it is people are crazy I don't have to worry about that, Joe. You're all right, dude. You've always been fine. It is what it is. It ain't going to...

It is. Here we go. But that attitude of it is what it is is really what we should all have. Well, that's how... Look, when I was younger, I was in better shape. You know, I played ball. I was an athlete in college. I gained weight.

You know, I got laid as much as I wanted when I was young and in Vegas and all that. And then I gained weight. I got laid as much as I wanted when I was young and in Vegas and all that. And then I gained weight. I try to watch. But what it is, I'm not going to change the way I look. I'm going to be a leading man. It is what it is. That's it. Girl says you want makeup?

We're doing a show. It doesn't really matter. It's just the idea of you being better looking because you're less shiny. It's always been bizarre to me. It is what it is. I'm not an anchor, man. They have a lot of makeup, you know. You ever do a talk show and you're looking at the guy and you're going,

I can't believe how much makeup this guy is fucking wearing. Oh, they cake it on. There's a lot of those shows where they literally change what they look like. Like if you look at them in real life, you look... Yeah, they tell you, you know. Well, HDTV fucked a lot of that up for those guys. Absolutely. Because they look spooky. A lot of people. I mean, even myself, I can't. Well, HDTV fucked a lot of that up. Absolutely. Because they look spooky.

A lot of people. I mean, even myself, I can't. I don't like to watch myself. I'm doing Blue Bloods now. I'm looking at myself and going, my head, I just got a big screen, 65 inches, and my head's fucking giant. It's filling up the whole 65 inches. What is Blue Bloods?

Blue Bloods is CBS. It's a one-hour drama with Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg. Oh, you're working with Tom Selleck. Yeah, I started in October. It's a really good show. There's two shows left. Friday night I got a big one. I joined in October. It's a really good show

and I play a DA investigator, so I'm on the other side of the law. Oh, nice. It's really good. The writing's really good. You'll be surprised. It's a network show, and it's really, really good. It's been, they just got picked up for a seventh season. What's Tom Selleck like?

You know, I met him twice. I didn't work with him, because I'm working with Bridget Moynihan mostly. Very nice. She's great, too. She's great, great. He came into the trailer. He said, you're doing great work.

Thanks for being here. I shook my hand a few times, and I haven't seen him. So you don't have scenes together? No, because it's kind of the way it's worked so far is, you know, I worked with Donnie Wahlberg once, who was a great guy, and then I work with her all the time. I haven't worked with anyone else, you know, other guest stars, but it's been good, you know.

It was shooting New York all over the city, so it's like the city's like another character, you know, other guest stars, but it's been good, you know. It was shooting New York all over the city. So it's like the city's like another character, you know. It's shooting every borough. So you live in New York now? I live in New York. I live downtown. Yeah, I've been there. I sold my house in Vegas a few years ago, but I've been there with my family since about

2002. Do you like it? Yeah, I like it. Not too crazy? Well, it's a little crazy. It's got the de Blasio's a piece of garbage. You know, he's a bad guy. Just a bad guy.

Yeah, and he put the city in the toilet, and there's a lot of homeless. But he got rid of the big gulp. Yeah, but, you know, that's to the other extreme. Nah, this guy's a jackass. I mean, this guy wanted to separate the city between the cops, and he did it. He's a bad guy, this guy. And now he's under investigation. For what?

Campaign fraud and all kinds of shit. The FBI came in. So I like it. It's crazy, but it's great. There's always something going on. It's vibrant. I like Southern California. I'm looking to rent a place here, too, also. But I like New York. I got my friends there. I like Southern California. You know, I'm looking, you know, rent a place here too also.

But I like New York. You know, I got my friends there. I'm from there. You know, it's insane. You know, you've been spent time there. There's crazy people. Yeah, I looked at a place there for a while ago, like maybe two, three years ago. I thought about it.

I just had a wild hair across my ass. Listen, my kids were born there. You know, both of my daughters grew up there. I mean, my kids were born there. Both of my daughters grew up there. My kids were born in Vegas, but they grew up there in New York. And my wife was born in Vegas, and she loves it there. I mean, you've got some money. It's not the worst place in the world to live. You've got to have money.

And it's interesting. You've got to have money because it's ridiculously expensive. Well, it's changed, too. It's become like bankers. A buddy of mine was talking about it, that it used to be Judah. You know Judah Freelander? Yeah, yeah. Judah was saying that it used to be like a lot of artists, but now it's-

Well, you can't- This is the problem. It's in 20 years when like the rent control shit expires and people's- You're going to have to be wealthy to live in Manhattan. You're going to have to be literally wealthy. So all the kids that want to become comics and artists and actors and dancers and they get out of high school and college can't afford to live there unless they have rich parents or parents that could help them they can't afford so they're living in bed stye and other

neighborhoods which it's good for the neighborhoods because they're changing but they live in four and five to a two-bedroom apartment yeah a buddy of mine got a got a place in Bed-Stuy because he was working for a production company in New York. You can't do it any other way. He said they started cleaning the house up and they found out all the paint in the house was lead. Yeah. And he had a kid.

He's like, we got to get the fuck out of here. This place has toxic paint. So, you know, you got to go further out to Queens, further out to Brooklyn. You know, where it's still affordable, but, you know, it's an hour into the city. Fuck that. You know, where it's still affordable, but, you know, it's an hour into the city. Fuck that. You know, by train. But if you could, look, I live in Manhattan. I bought a condo years ago, a three-bedroom, you know, I got a nice place.

If you could afford it, it's great. But at some point, if it doesn't stop, places are out of business, stores. Guys, you had a business for 30 years, you the lease is up he's gone yeah you know it's just everyone's a greedy pig you know well it's just the whole landscape of the city is changing and when i talk to comics they say the audiences are changing too it's like you're dealing with like wall street people or like you're i don't know you know yeah i haven't been to a comedy club in quite a while i don't i you know i don't know that uh you know i mean you got carolines and gotham well carolines is really a tourist trap and you got gotham it's a great club i mean it

still has great acts but it's not like they don't do like it's not like a big local scene you know you've got like the stand is like a big local scene the cellar you know you've got you've got a lot of clubs where comics work out at but car Caroline's is more of like someone's out of town. They go in there and they do a weekend there and headline. Well, it's right in Times Square. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'm not privy to that. But you can't those kids that want to be an actor, you better have a rich mother and father.

When I lived there, I lived in New Rochelle because I couldn't afford to park my car and I needed a car for road gigs. Yeah. But it was not, I mean, it was ridiculous back then. It was expensive. When did you live there? I think I moved there in 91 or 92, somewhere around there. And I lived there, I lived in New Rochelle. I kept an apartment there for three years.

So 90 to about 90, somewhere around 95-ish. Probably that apartment's worth double now. I don't know. It was a small little shitty place in a weird neighborhood. You know, because it's just gotten way out of control. And these landlords. And I tell you, the de Blasios really split the city. I mean, I'm not just saying that.

I'm not. I don't get into politics. I don't know that. I think that was his intention. You know, he's big friends with Al Sharpton. Al Sharpton, sometimes I wonder if this guy's running the city. Well, what do you think a guy like that does? Why do they do that?

Do they do it? Is it a political calculation? Like they think, like, this is the way to get the black vote? Oh, absolutely. The white people are just going to go along with it? Absolutely. And let me tell you another thing. A like al sharpton he makes his money by shaking people down yeah i mean i have a friend of mine who's a builder there who i could tell you

flat out over the years he's given them envelopes because you know what they do is they come they'll say you know what we got the coalition here we're going to shut down you know you're going to shut your job down unless you hire 10 guys. And I'm not even saying black, white, Spanish. I'm not even saying what it is. This is what these guys do. And either you hire the 10 guys or they get an envelope. And this is what goes on.

This is what goes on. Well, Jesse Jackson's been accused of that forever. Hey, Jesse Jackson, and this is a fact, in Vegas in the 80s, the frontier was on strike for like six or seven years from the food and beverage, you know, the waiters and the bartenders. They paid him $25,000 to march with them down the strip. They closed the strip down. $25,000.

Wow. People are coming up to Jesse Jackson goingson going hey you know that's great thank you man thank you thank you you know and in the meantime he got paid yeah well that was his hustle the rainbow coalition they come in and the whole thing is diversity lessons to everybody that worked there you know they would they would have these clinics so they teach people how to be more diverse this is what's al shoppton done? He owes taxes. He owes this. He owes that.

He's a hustler. He couldn't be a bigger hustler. I think he could kill somebody and in broad daylight he'll get away somehow. He walked in front of the comedy store one night. He was walking down the street, walking right in front of the comedy store. And me and a bunch of other comedians just started heckling him. As he was walking by. Did he say anything?

Al Sharpton, get that money. Go get that money, Al. He loved it. He probably liked that. He's a hustler. We ain't mad at you. Go get that money. I mean, he's been in the White House how many times, this guy?

So many times. I mean, the guy's in the White House. Well, not only that, if you go back to his history, there's no white guy would have ever gotten away with that. What he did was he got into the public's eye because of a false rape accusation. Tawana. Totally made up story. Tawana.

And he's never admitted to that. No. Well, it was proven. I mean, it was absolutely proven. And then he ruined that guy's life up there. And the guy sued. Yeah. But he still keeps on.

He's in the White House. Yeah. He's in the White House. he's in the white house so you know we go on and on and on i mean how does that happen i mean how does someone not step away from that that's why i'm telling you it's so broke it can't be fixed you got to drop out of sight joe what are we gonna do i don't know alaska is that the move i don't think that's in alaska i'm thinking anchorage i don't like it up there hawaii hawaii is too dangerous the sharks the waves the fucking storms.

I don't know where you go anymore. I don't know either, but I don't want to be in the middle of the ocean. It's just too dangerous. Although it has been there for thousands of years, and I won't be here for thousands of years. So it's tempting in that regard. We're doomed. We are doomed. I don't know.

I like where people are so... I'm thinking Montana. That might be a good spot. They don't give a fuck up there. There's not many people. They don't give a fuck. Who's there? not many people. They don't give a fuck. Who's there? Rich Hall lives there.

Does he? Yeah, yeah. Montana, absolutely. Harris Peet and Rich Hall. Oh, that's right. Harris Peet used to take care of his place, right? They live up there, yeah. Harris Peet lives there?

Because I filmed something up there. No, they don't live together, no. How could Harris Peet, yeah. I was like, how could Rich Hall get along with Harris Peet? And there's, I was up there. It's a strange place. Yeah. I mean, not a bad place.

Just not for me. I'm not one of them guys. I'm not an outdoor guy. I can't. You're not an outdoor guy? I can't do anything. I'm not. I can't change a light bulb.

I can't move with your hands around. I can't have a light bulb. I got to call the guy downstairs. Could you change the bulb? Yeah. I got to live in a doorman building. I don't know. A doorman building.

Could you fix this? That's your environment. Your natural habitat. I don't know building. I don't know. A doorman building. Could you fix this? That's your environment. Your natural habitat. I don't know shit. I don't know anything. I got to tip somebody. Your natural habitat is a doorman building. That's fucking hilarious.

I'll tip somebody to do it. So you're making spaghetti sauce now. I ate it last night and I had it today. I just want to tell you it's very good. It's very good sauce. Good sauce. No bullshit. How the fuck did you get involved in making spaghetti sauce? I had my buddy my buddy Joe, right?

My mother had passed away a few years ago. He said let's do something for your mother. Come on. Let's do something You know, he's an entrepreneur kind of guy, you know, and so we got the recipe and now my wife runs marathon She's healthy sheets organic, but we made it organic runs marathons. She's healthy. She eats organic. We made it organic. It took a while. We had to throw out a lot of sauce and give it to shelters and stuff like that because it was too loose and it was not bad. It just wasn't what we wanted. We got it. It's organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, Uncle Steve's. You go to unclestevesny.com. We sell it. We just got here in Albertsons, Vons, Pavilion. We're in Whole Foods, Fairway, all over the country. We're in 3,000 stores.

There it is right here, Uncle Steve's. Look at that. I ate it. I ate it this morning. If you didn't know it came out of a jar, and I'm not lying. I don't eat jar sauce. That's that whole Italian thing. And I never did just because I never did.

My wife would cook, you know, when I was a kid, my mother, my grandmother. And the sauce is that good. It's very good. My wife hasn't made sauce in a long time. Yeah, I ate it last night, like I said, and I ate it this morning. I ate some this morning. I'll send you more. We got three kinds.

I got six cases. You sent me six cases. Maranata, tomato basil. Did you try the arrabbiata yet? No, I've only tried the marinara. The arrabbiata is very spicy. Very. If you like it.

That's the biggest seller, but it's hot. Keep it away from the kids. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. It's that spicy? It's spicy. Wow. I mean, it's good spice.

People like it. My kids are 20, 24. They like it. They can handle it. But not for me. Wow. It's not too well for me. You don't like spicy sauce?

No, no. Really? I'm not a spicy guy? Nah. No? So we're doing good with it. They can handle it. But not for me. It's not too well for me. You don't like spicy sauce? No, no. Really? I'm not a spicy guy? Nah. No? So we're doing good with it. I mean, fuck. That's amazing.

That way we don't have to go sit in a waiting room and audition for bullshit. You know what I mean? It's always a good idea to have alternate sources. I think, you know, you don't remember this. We auditioned for something. It was a movie. Not the same role but it was a movie and the guy dave sheridan you know oh yeah yeah and we were there and i i said to you who's that fucking guy and you and i don't know who the fuck he was the star of the movie and he heard us i've talked about i did i got that movie i did

that i talked about that story because not not you auditioning, but that whole movie story because that kid was talented. Yeah. He was funny as shit. And he was doing okay. I don't know what it is. Well, that movie was dog shit. And one of the reasons why it was dog shit is because all these executives, because he

was funny and they made him the star of the movie, but he was a nobody as far as like people didn't know who he was. They all were telling him what to do. Like I watched a guy with a fucking Rolex on and an expensive what was the movie and suspenders uh frank mccluskey ci that's it that's it because i did a movie with uh the producer i did his movie before that uh did the movie where i was trying to put a hit on the dog, C-Spot Ron. Me and Paul Savino. Oh, that's hilarious. And then I met you. You just happened to be there, and I was there.

And he was across the way from us saying, who's this fucking Dave Sheridan? So he was the star, and I didn't know who he was. I didn't get it. I went for an attorney, I think, a part of attorney. Well, when I was on the set, the kid was really funny. He's really talented. He's a very funny like real slapstick II big like Jim Carrey style comic actor and This guy with the Rolex and the cufflinks and the tailored suit like suspenders super rich guy right? He's giving him line reading

Yeah, that's a good I know I mean he's telling this kid like literally when you come in when you come in I want you to go What is this? He's acting it out and he's like telling him how to do it. And then he sits there in front of the camera and makes sure the guy does it exactly the way he wants to do it. And you see Dave Sharon and go, what the fuck is this shit? I can't believe I'm going to do this. Because the kid was naturally funny.

And when you got someone who's funny, the last thing you want to do is tell them how to be funny. Just leave them the fuck alone. Of course. Make them feel comfortable. Make them feel comfortable. Make them feel comfortable and leave them alone. You're talking about somebody with common sense. I mean, what are you? Well, they just have so much money.

They have so much money and they have so much influence and they want to make that monkey dance. I haven't seen, I don't know if he's working. I don't know. I haven't heard much of him. I don't know. But it's just, how about when- He was a nice guy, though. Was he a good guy?

He was a real nice guy. I worked with him. I had a great time. He was a real nice guy. You know he a good guy? Real nice guy. I worked with him. I had a great time. He was a real nice guy. You know, it's just like comics years ago. The managers of the club used to tell them how to do their act. What the fuck? I never told a guy ever.

Yeah. You know, never told a guy. You know, listen, there's certain things like at the Riv you couldn't do. Like, just don't knock the hotel. Right. Like, just don't knock the hotel. Right. You know, don't knock the hotel. Don't say, oh, it's a shithole and this and that. Like, I hired a guy.

He went on the radio. He was saying, what a shithole. And, you know, my boss called me, and he said, this guy, who's this fucking guy on the radio? And I went, he said, he's gone. Don't bring him back. So I called the guy. He said, why did you do that? I gave you a I called the guy. I said, why did you do that?

I gave you a job. Now why the fuck did you do that? They think they're being cute. And I don't get it. So you can't come back. But I never would tell someone, hey, Joe, that joke you did. That's not funny. Don't do that joke.

Don't do that. Guys are giving. They were working as a fucking busboy three weeks ago. Now they're running a comedy club and they're telling you what to do.

Well, people, that always amazes me. People like that though. They like telling people what to do. They always have. I understand that.

But you know, because you got the job at the club or whatever, now suddenly you're in show business. Well, again, you're speaking like logic.

I mean, you know, you're in show business. I mean, you know, how suddenly, you know? It can't make business. I mean, you know, how suddenly, you know? It can't make sense. There's no sense in this town.

It's not a sense town. This is not a sense business. This is a business of navigating egos and trying to find your own voice and navigating your own ego. It's nice when you don't have to, you know, when you don't have to, you know, you're not have to you know you're not struggling and you know and it's okay and you can tell a guy to fuck off and i'm not gonna do that and you know what fuck you man i'm not coming i'm not working for that money and that thing and exactly you know you know unfortunately not everybody i don't have fuck you money i have fuck money but you know uh the fuck you money is nice you know where you don't have to but it's hard it's hard to get to that point man it's very hard to get fuck you money and most people when they get fuck you money is nice, you know, where you don't have to. But it's hard.

It's hard to get to that point, man. It's very hard to get fuck you money. And most people, when they get fuck you money, they're always terrified they're going to lose the fuck you money, so they never say fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you money is wasted on the people that are afraid to say fuck you. Very well said, my friend. Very well said.

It's just so funny knowing you for so long and then seeing you, you know, doing so well now as an actor. And, I mean, it's a beautiful thing. It's also beautiful for me because I know that you're not a classically trained actor. And I've always told people it's not that fucking hard. This is not like a guy who's never done it before stepping in and doing brain surgery. No, of course, of course. But, you know, listen, I got the job on The Surprenants. I did everything like opposite because I had been dabbling here and there, right?

So then I got the job, and then I worked with a coach. And I still work with a coach now. When I got a big episode on Blue Blood, she comes over the house. It's a – you know Dom's friend, Joanna Bexson? You know her? No. She works with a lot of comics. Okay.

She comes over the house. I go over the lines. We talk about it, blah, blah, blah. And when you do that, do you, like, read with her? Does she read along with you? Yeah, what I'll do is, you know, what I'll do is I started learning the lines. Then we'll talk about it. What do you think here?

I have my ideas already, you know. She'll give me some notes. That's a good idea. It's good to get. Even Gandolfini had two different acting coaches. He worked with this girl Susan for years. That helped. You get a different perspective.

Oh, you know what? I didn't think of that. Right. I didn't think that way. Yeah, you're right. So that kind of shit. Now, look, ultimately, you get on the set, you're going to do what you're doing. The director's going to, hey, Steve, you know, you shouldn't be so angry there.

Whatever, you know, he thinks. And the guy that wrote it. You know what I mean? But I worked very hard at it. And I worked for years now. Now, don't forget, I'm making a living for 16 years as an actor. I left the Riviera in 2000. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, 16 years. And I've done a lot of shit. This is you saying that 2000 was 16 years ago makes me go, what? Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, I left there. I started on The Sopranos in 99. I went back and forth for a year.

I did six episodes. I was still at the RIV. What is it like? That must have been fucking strange. I was still at the RIV and then I booked it for 10 years. I booked the RIV until 2010. Chris Rock said, you're still dipping your toe in that shit? I said, why not? They're paying me. What the fuck?

How hard is it? How hard is it to fucking book three comics a week? I could do it in three days, book up six months. That's hilarious. You know, I book guys that, you know, that didn't work much, you know. Well, I think your point is the really important part of what you're saying is like the getting a different perspective where a guy like Gandolfini, you would imagine he was so good. You would imagine that he probably looked at it from all sorts of different angles. Yes, he did.

And you saw a lot of different colors. But he would work 16 hours, OK? 16-hour days on The Sopranos. He's there. So, I mean, the guy gets up whatever time he got up. Then he's got to go home and learn tomorrow's stuff. So sometimes he told me he'd be sitting in the chair. He'd fall asleep for two hours.

He wakes up, she's still there, just waiting for him to wake up, and they're going to work on the stuff for tomorrow. Whoa. Yeah, and nine months of that. Don't forget, you know, the Sopranos, Joe, they were, when I got on the show, it was like eight days. I came on the second season, so it was like eight days for an episode, then nine, then ten at the last season it was we did we shot nine shows in nine months holy shit yeah you know

it was like shooting a movie there's no commercial so it's a full hour but you know that's what it was man it was long it was like shooting the movie wow a month an month an episode. The first episode was 17, 18 working days. Lorraine Brockle said to me, you're going to work more in this episode than I will the whole season because she only worked one day an episode. She had the greatest job in show business. Wow. They shot that in one day. Oh, that's

beautiful for her. It was a great part too. Yeah, it was great. But I think the coaching wise, and I think a lot of it is you know your focus your concentrate know your stuff know your lines i mean you're an actor you know know your shit don't come in and be like a smart ass yeah maybe i paraphrase know your stuff respect what's on the page you know that's i'm a i'm a big believer in that yeah on the sopranos you didn't ad lib the word th thuh, and I'm not joking.

There was a time that I had to say, I got to go, and the line was, I have to go. And they kept correcting me and correcting me and correcting me, because I just, you know, I got to go. No, I have to go. I don't know why, what, when. I didn't question it. Right. I mean, you know. That's a crazy amount of work when you're talking about Gandolfini. I go, I don't know why, why, where, and I didn't question it. Right. I mean, you know, but.

That's a crazy amount of work when you're talking about Gandolfini. That's really, that's still fucking with my head. Yeah. Now, listen, Jim was one of my closest friends. Couldn't find a better guy. He worked. Harley saw his kids. You know, his kid, you know, his daughter wasn't born, you know, while he was on The Sopranos.

But it was like no life. You completely gave up your life. Not the rest of us because there were so many characters. I had a couple episodes where I worked a real lot. It just can't be good for your health. Well, it was a lot of guys. I think Jimmy Smits I read years ago, NYPD, he said he couldn't take it. It was 18 lot of guys. I mean, I've read, I think Jimmy Smith's I read years ago, NYPD. He said he couldn't take it. It was 18-hour days.

Yeah. And yeah, he was making a fortune. He said, I couldn't do it anymore. Yeah. No, I've had friends that have been on dramas before, and it's the same thing. They would tell me that they just couldn't do it. They would do it, and they would just, there would be, when the season would wrap, they would go, this has got to be my last season.

I can't do this anymore. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's a point with the money. Now, you know, the thing, what I love about Blue Bloods is there's a lot of characters, so there's different stories, so it's not like that. It's, you know, great. That's nice. It's a beautiful show, and, you know, like I said, the writing's good, you know, network show. But, you know, with Jim, but he worked with, you know, a lot of,

that's like a dirty secret working with an acting coach. Is it? That's a dirty little secret. People don't want, some people don't want to admit. I think if you're a big, I think Pacino works with somebody. Well, I don't know why that would be a dirty secret. I would think that would be just practice. That would be a good thing.

No, no, but I think like guys don't want to admit that I'm asking for help. You know how guys are. You know how fucking actors are, you know. Well, comedians have a thing about that with writers, working with writers. A comedian working with a writer, it's like other comedians will shake their head and look down on you.

Really? Yeah, I don't understand that. But you write all your own stuff, obviously, because your stuff is very personal. Yeah. But there are guys that it's impossible for them to keep writing new material. Well, there's guys that are very personal,

but they have someone work... Like, Kevin Hart has guys that work with him. Like, he has ideas, and then he bounces them off these ideas, these ideas off these guys, and then they work on them together. Like, he'll brainstorm with guys on his act, which there's nothing wrong with it.

Chris Rock used to do that. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but then there's guys like, say, a Leno or Rodney, who I was a big Rodney Dangerfield. Sure. Everybody, there was comics, facts and stuff into him all over the place. Leno, I mean, he was doing the show. He's busy.

They're writing his monologue. They're writing his stuff. But not his stand-up. Like, when Leno does his stand-up, his stand-up is pretty much all Leno. It's all him. Yeah, but Rodney for sure. And there was a lot of guys. Richard Pryor. Bob Hope had five, six, seven, eight.

He had a staff of writers. I know one of them, he would pay $50 a joke. And then he only tipped 30 cents. 30 cents, but he would pay $50 a joke. He's one of the richest guys ever, that fucking Bob Hope. He was. But he would ask for you know I need whatever whatever the event was you know I need jokes about Trump or mother-in-law

this right it is you know I guess comics don't want to admit to it yeah there are comics that by no this yes you know there definitely are and there's nothing wrong with it like well first of all Richard Pryor who's the greatest of all time Paul Mooney wrote for him forever. Yeah. And other guys wrote for him. And like I said, Chris Rock, who's also one of the greatest of all time.

Absolutely. Chris Rock had a bunch of writers. And he's just smart. He knows how to make the best comedy. And it's not necessarily always just with your own mind. I think it's also hard. It's not easy for someone else to find your voice. So you have to find those guys.

And it's not easy. Because, see, I can say, hey, man, you know, write me. You know, sometimes, like, when I have to host something, like, I hosted this thing on TV. I'm not making believe I'm a stand-up. I'm not a stand-up comic, nor would I even attempt. But it's more like a monologue. Right. You know, even if I have to host a charity event, I have a guy who writes me jokes.

But it's, like, in my voice, shit that I would say, you know what I mean? And you know, immediately and you know, well, sometimes it's not, it's not a bad idea to have a writer just because you have a couple other guys that you can talk about your set with, you know, because if you're just looking at it yourself, like you were talking about having a different perspective, maybe even they don't write the jokes, but they talk about the jokes that you've written and give their perspective.

And that alone will probably help you improve them. I agree. And I think if you're doing a live show, if you're hosting something, whether it be an award show or whatever, to have a couple guys there, spur of the moment thing. Give you some, hey, Joe, here's a good line. No, spur of the moment, especially a live show, like a talk show or something like that, very important to have writers. Do you like doing talk shows? No.

You don't like it? No, I don't like it. I like doing this. This is what I like because there's no format. Well, when you do a talk show, it's all set up. It's a pre-interview and I'm going to say this, you're going to say that. And then a lot of times a talk show host has the joke, right? The joke on top of your joke.

He's already got the retort. Exactly. It just seems fake and forced. We'll be right back! Blah, blah, blah. Now you have to sing and dance. I don't get it. You have to be a variety show. Like the guy, you know,

that's the new thing. I appreciate a guy like Jimmy Fallon who does it well. I think he's great at it. I really appreciate it. I just don't want to do it. I don't want to be a guest. I don't want to watch. I don't want to sit there.

I've had friends that do them. I go visit them while they do it. I watched Conan the other day. I had a buddy of mine. He was singing a song on Conan. I went to watch. I was like, get the fuck out of here. I think it's a dying format. I think it's a format that's like

a dinosaur. Well, I think it is, which is why you see this guy on CBS, James, whatever his name is, he's singing karaoke in the car. Who? This guy, James Corden is his name? James Corden. They sing karaoke. Oh, he's mixing it up. He's doing different stuff. Him, yeah. And he's got

the different artists. He had Adele. He had this this one they're trying to do different stuff and I think it's become more like that than just to sit down old-fashioned you know right because first of all you know and I know most actors whatever celebrities they don't have a whole lot to say right some people like De Niro if it ain't on the page, this guy is stuck at hello. You say hello to him, he's stuck for a fucking answer. How is that possible? Because he's got to have it on the page

and then he's a wonderful actor and he could give you all this. But if he, you think he's going to come in here and talk to you like this? I don't know. Shit, no. No?

Hell no. You never spoke to him? No. Or the other bit of this guy? My friend Joey, Joey Diaz, you know Joey. Yeah, he did the movie with him? Joey did the movie with him, yeah. He the other bit of this kid? My friend Joey, Joey Diaz. You know Joey. Yeah, he did the movie with him. Joey did a movie with him, yeah.

He enjoyed it? Yeah, he liked it. Well, it was just an honor, you know? I mean, you're working with arguably the greatest actor of all time. Absolutely. One of the top five. But I don't think he's, you ever see him try to do a talk show? I never have.

It's boring? Look at some clips. Well, I think he's an interesting guy. You know, De Niro's a very unusual guy. I think he's done a lot of crappy stuff, and I don't know. Oh, yeah. I don't understand how much money do you need that you just, I know you want to work, and this is what you do for a living,

and I get it, but, you know. Yeah, he's done some shitty movies, for sure. Yeah, like really shitty movies. Yeah, but I think that he's probably, well, what was the recent one he did, The Temp? I watched the ad and I just, my whole soul started shaking like I was freezing to death. Yeah, you know, I don't know.

He owns the restaurants. He's got the hotel in Vegas, Noble. He's got a million restaurants. He's got the, what? He's old, too. He owns the Tribeca Film Festival. Yeah, like at what point in time, what are you going to do with that money when you die?

Maybe he just enjoys doing shitty movies. Well, I don't think he enjoys shitty movies. I think he enjoys doing movies. Not to say that there's a whole lot of great roles for him. Because, like you said, he's 70-something years old. You know, Pacino seems to navigate them better. Yeah. Well, sort of.

He does some shitty fucking movies too. But I think these guys, you know, they get up in age and the roles, they don't get offered the best roles and then something comes along and it's not that good

but it's a lot of money and they go, fuck it, who cares? And they just do it. And the other thing is a guy like Pacino, he has so much leeway

because he can kind of do whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah. Same as De Niro. Like, he wants yeah same as De Niro like What was that one movie De Niro did recently there was a fucking shit? It's the name of that movie the movie with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. It was a big movie and De Niro played Yes, he was good in that so he still got it. He still got it He can still do it and seem like a really dangerous fuck.

It's still possible. Yeah. Those roles don't exist that often. No, it doesn't. And as you said, I think as you get older, too, and physically, you know, you change. You know, just like a guy that was this wonderful leading man in his 30s, you know, now he's a fucking bloated guy in his 50s. You know what I mean?

He can't be the same guy. Bloated. You know, right? Val Kilmer, right? Like that kind of thing. Yeah, I worked with him. How is he? He was nice, but out there.

He's out there? I did a movie in Detroit with him. He was way out there. I don't know if you remember. I heard he likes the mushrooms. Maybe he was on them that day. Yeah. Because we shot a movie out there, and he was way out there. I don't know if he remembers. I heard he likes the mushrooms. Maybe he was on them that day. Yeah. Because we shot a movie out there, and he was way out there. He was heavy then, yeah.

He did something in Africa with somebody, and they said he got whacked out on mushrooms while he was there. Running around a campfire, fucking lions in the background. Oh, yeah, I didn't see that. But he was in Detroit. He was, you know, nice enough, but... Well, he was in that movie, The Ghost in the Darkness. Remember that? No. Michael Douglas and him, they're but... Well, he was in that movie, The Ghost in the Darkness. Remember that?

No. No? Michael Douglas and him, they were lion hunting in Africa. They were working on a railroad. It was a fucking great movie. Oh, really? And these two lions teamed up and started killing the railroad workers. Is it older? Yeah.

It's like, I want to say like 90-ish, early 90s. Wasn't that his prime? Oh, yeah. When he was Batman? Yeah, it's a great fucking movie. The Ghost in the Darkness. Him and Michael Douglas.

I gotta look for that. Michael Douglas before he got cancer from eating pussy. Remember that? Yeah, I don't believe that. Remember those days? You believe that?

I don't know. From eating pussy is the only guy in the world that I know of. Everybody's gotta be a first. Yeah, there it is. That's The Ghost in the Darkness. It's a good fucking movie, man.

That's when he played Jim Morrison, too. Oh, yeah. Right? Yep, same era, same time, yeah. I think that guy got too much pussy, lost his fucking mind, decided to try to eat himself to death, and it just didn't work out. And then he stayed alive and had to lose his weight, come back down. You should have him on this show.

I would love to. I'm sure you would. I would imagine he wouldn't. Why wouldn't he come i would have booze everywhere i would just say let's just do this come on let's start you know what i think he did one of those autographs i think he did one of those autograph shows autograph shows you know the autograph shows they have like uh like chiller theater and the hollywood show where you sell your autographs oh really and i think he did one and he made like a hundred my friend

of mine told me he made like a hundred grand. Like he had the line was, you know. So he just sat down and signed things? Sat down and signed. That's what, you know, you've heard of these things. Yeah. I'm sure you've been offered that. That never gets to me.

You know. Oh, well, that probably gets deflected. But they just had one. They had one in Jersey, you know, where they had like Eric Estrada, the other guy from Chips, the other guy, you know, or Good Times. You know, they have the cast and, you know, there's guys from my show have done it. I don't want to do it. I've never done it. I personally feel it takes a little piece of your soul. When they walk by you and go, oh, do I want to buy Eddie Munster's picture or Bobby Bacala? All right, I'll go with Eddie. I think that takes your fucking soul joe it's

gotta it's gotta take a chunk i mean come on well i just also think that making people pay for a signature is fucking crazy yeah you know but i'm with you i do gotta admit it's a little annoying when you run into those guys at the airport they got a stack of shit they want you to sign 10 of them and you want to sell them that's that's not not a fan. Yeah. They're selling them. You know what they're doing? They're selling them or they're wholesaling to another guy. You know, that's up the ladder. Like maybe he says, all right, Rogan's going to be there. I'll give you $10 for each roll. Most of the time I'll just sign one.

And this one guy was giving me a hard time. I go, dude, I'm not working for you. Do you understand I'm working for you? He's like, I took a train here. I go, dude, I don't give a fuck. I didn't ask you to. The only thing is, for me, sometimes it's easier to just sign the fucking things. I don't even want to have the conversation.

I'm like, get out of here with those. Just sign the things and move on. Well, you could do it real quick, but the whole idea behind it is weird. He's getting you to do something, then he's going to sell it. And then they're going to put it on eBay or whatever they do. Well, they all have the same standard stuff. They have a microphone they want you to sell. Some of them have an MMA glove they want you to sign.

MMA glove they want you to sign. Pictures. I see pictures and I go, where'd you get that? I don't even have that. Yeah. I don't know where they fucking get it. Yeah. Well, they get them and then they know where you're going to be.

Well, a glove with your signature, that would be worth something, I guess. Probably like five bucks. Maybe. Probably cost you more in gas to get to me and get the picture. I ran into a fucking guy once that had fake shit. A guy emailed me and he said, hey, is this your signature? And that was a news radio script with all the cast members. I go, not only is that not my script, all those scripts, all those signatures are fake.

Oh, look at that. Because I knew Andy's signature. He had a very distinct signature. And Phil Hartix, because I knew Andy's signature. He had a very distinct signature. And Phil Hartman had a very clean, distinct signature. I'm like, these are all fake. Yeah, I saw one. We did this poster from Cigar Aficionado magazine that was floating around.

We all signed them. We used to sign a lot of stuff. At the end of the read-throughs for the Sopranos, they would have a stack of stuff for charity and whatever to sign. And it's hanging in a restaurant in New York on 50, on 6th Avenue. It's not my signature. Whoa. It's hanging up.

It's, you know, like seven of us, but it's not my signature. How crazy is that? Yeah. Someone's got a fake signature hanging up on a nice restaurant. Bobby Bacala with a fat, fake stomach. It's from the days when I wore the fat stone. Oh, they made you put like a prosthesis on, right? For two years, yeah.

Then I got fat enough on my arm. Did you get fat enough just so you didn't have to wear that thing? No, no. One day, Chase, you know, when I first got the role, I was seeing all these jokes like your cow's on with legs and your fat fuck and you're thinking I'm going I'm not that much fatter than Gandolfini I was starting to think that maybe they cast the wrong guy I'm not joking I'm saying could that be I mean these jokes don't make sense and then they call oh you got to come in for a fat suit so I wore this ridiculous thing then the second year

they made it like a really nice one, like a costume shop. It had like tits and everything. A costume shop in like a Broadway costume thing. And then one year, I was going back and I was at a fitting for the fourth year, you know, like the next year. And he looked at me and he went, you don't have to wear that anymore. I said, all right. So I'm assuming. It was pretty embarrassing at first.

At first, I was prancing around. They had an ass on me, too, like a big ass. They put a fake ass on you. Yeah, and he was going, ah, too big. And I was, like, going, walking back and forth, like, parading. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's fucking humiliating.

Steve Landesberg, remember the comment he sent to me? Did they ask you permission to do that and I said no Steve he said I wouldn't have fucking did that I wouldn't have got the job

you know that was a weird time when the Sopranos came out because all of a sudden there was like a lot of fake mob guys a lot of fake connected guys

a lot of fake Italian you know what I mean they're still around I call it GIG Guinea Actors Guild GIG but you know what I mean it's like that acting that way became in fashion they started they used to hang around wherever we were they were around they were extras they were they're still

around but there was you know we did an appearance in the casino we just do a lot of that stuff you know they were everywhere they were everywhere. They were everywhere. They were hoping to get on the show. Hey, come on. You did the show. I could do the show. I remember Michael Imperioli one time. We were up in Reno and there was one of them guys and he was playing

blackjack and, you know, he said, come on, put me on the show. I could do what you do. Michael just went off on him. I've been fucking trying for 20 years and, you know, blah, on the show. I could do what you do. Michael just went off on him. I've been fucking trying for 20 years. You know, blah, blah, blah. I've been acting. You know, I mean, he hit Michael. And Michael was right.

He got really pissed off. This is just one of those fucking goombas, you know. And he goes, I could do what you do. Oh, they're the worst. Exactly. There's wannabes, but there's something about Guinea wannabes. There's a handful out here. Oh, yeah, there's wannabes, but there's something about Guinea wannabes that just hurts me. There's a handful out here. Oh, yeah, there's plenty.

And the thing here, they congregate together. When they try to clang, hey, Joe, you're Italian, right? You're Italian, you're Italian, you're Italian, man. We're together. What's the last thing Rogan? How come you got Rogan? What's the book? I kind of try to navigate away from that.

Oh, they're brutal. Even in New York, I kind of, that's not my thing. Well, Sopranos was so good that it almost killed the mob genre. I think so. It was so good. I think you're right about that. Because you know what? Unless, and I get a lot of scripts, Joe, of that crap.

They make these, I call them backyard movies. You're never going to see them, whatever, they're getting paid. I'm not interested because it's that same thing. I'll fuck you or break your fucking head. You know who I am. You know who you're never going to see them, you know, whatever they're getting paid. I'm not interested because it's that same thing. I'll fuck you or break your fucking head. You know who I am. You know who my uncle is. It's like a Dom Herrera sketch. But it's true.

But they write this. And I say, how does people give them the money? How do you get the money to make these movies? Well, I think for a while people were making them just because Sopranos was so popular. But now, unless you're going to beat Sopranos, Goodfellas, you know, what's the great mob movies? Sopranos, Goodfellas, Casino, Raging Bull had mob elements, right? Great movie. What am I missing?

There's got to be a few of them. You know, some great you know great great mob movies but now it's after the sopranos i mean you don't see you know the godfather godfather one two you know there was some but you're gonna have to beat that then they tried they tried to do some mobby stuff uh ray donovan's work and that's a good show that's a good show i mean that's from an irish perspective well i think what happened with those movies was, or that show rather, is it was those,

you had a movie every week. Exactly. So like every subject was covered, betrayal, gambling, pussy, murder. It was funny. It was funny. Funny elements. It was very smart.

That was something, you know, I would go, I would be around and people would go, I don't like that show you're on. I'm Italian. Have you ever seen the show? Oh, yes. Have you ever seen the show? No, I haven't seen it.

It's like I asked somebody, I don't watch porn. I hate porn. Have you ever seen it? No. Well, then how do you know you don't like it? Or did you see it? Or do you watch it? You know what I mean?

Secretly. They're holding signs up. There was no porn. Well, that was a big thing, right? The Italian-American blah, blah, blah society was protesting against it. How about this story? I wrote a kid's book, Nicky Deuce. Okay?

It took place in Brooklyn, and we turned it into a movie for Nickelodeon, you know, which we did. And it's one of Gandolfini's last movies. And I had Michael Imperioli in it and Sirico and uh and Nickelodeon made the movie but when I was when I wrote the book I was doing book signings and you know it's about a kid fish out of water who goes back to Brooklyn he grew up in the suburbs and he winds up with a kid entire neighborhood Bensonhurst in Brooklyn and he gets into some mischief I don't even call it trouble. So this guy kept writing letters and shit and killing me on the internet and writing letters to the bookstores ahead of me getting there. You know, like saying that he's derogatory against Italians and now he's bringing kids into

it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So finally, I get the guy's number and I call the guy. I swear to you, I say to him, listen, I think his name is, I think his name is Anthony. I said, listen, Anthony, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the world I know. Like rappers rap about what they know. This is what I know, you know? And he said to me, I said, you know, what can I do? Tell me what I can do. Let's fix this. I mean, because, you know, you know, you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He said, well, you can make a donation to my organization.

It was the Italian-American bullshit. I said, you've got to be kidding me. And I hung up on him. True story. He tried to shake me down. And there's a whole bunch of them. When the movie came out, we got some heat for the Nicky Deuce movie. Really?

And it's not really about mob. People just want attention. I mean, exactly. They want attention. And they did that with The Sopranos. But people would say all the time, you know, Joe, I don't watch your thing. I'm an Italian. You guys talk bad about Italians.

No, they didn't. They showed what really was. I thought it was very authentic, you know? Oh, well, The Sopranos is as authentic as it gets. If you know anybody like that, you know those people exist. Absolutely. To pretend they don't exist is offensive. Exactly, and I think it was a story that needed to be told.

I don't think we're putting Italians down. This is what it is. Well, it was such a fascinating show because Gandolfini was a bad guy. Like his character, Tony Soprano. But you're rooted for him. Yeah because Gandolfini was a bad guy. Like his character, Tony Soprano. But you're rooted for him. Yeah. You're rooted for a bad guy. A murderer. You're rooted for a murderer who cheated on his wife, stole, robbed, shook people down. Absolutely.

But he was your guy. He was, I think, the first I think, I could be wrong, the first, like, anti-hero that people rooted for on television. I think you're right. I can't imagine anybody... Before that, it was, you know, you root for the guy, you know. Well, he was a real anti-hero that people rooted for on television. I think you're right. I can't imagine anybody... Before that, it was, you know, you root for the guy, you know. Well, he was a real anti-hero.

Absolutely. He was a murderer. A con man. I mean, all the above. They didn't just do it to people in the mob. They did it to people, you know, like on the show. It wasn't just within each other. Yeah.

They went outside. They were robbing people and busting up businesses and doing all the stuff that they do. It was great. The show was good. I fucking loved it. It was a very smart show. And if they put it back on now, they would get higher ratings than some of their shows

now. I bet they would. Well, it was so good, I think a lot of people forgot how good it was. And it also changed a lot if you go to the first episode the first episode was essentially like a slapstick comedy you remember that no i don't you know lorraine brock not lorraine brocco uh who was the woman that played uh his wife edie falco edie falco edie falco had a fucking machine gun and like the the daughter was trying to sneak out she's outside with a machine gun pointing at her it was way more slapsticky it was weird it was like a comedy well

they shot the uh the show aired in 99 right i think they shot that like in 98 if i'm not mistaken really if i'm not mistaken in 98 i believe on 97 not mistaken, in 98, I believe, or 97 even, they go back and then it took six months and then they started shooting them. You know, how David Chase did it, he didn't do it like a regular show where you shoot it and then in three weeks it's on the air. You know, he put them all in the can. They were finished and locked and, you know.

You know what I mean? Like, you know, you finished your whatever. It took nine months. And then he edited them and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they aired. You know, it was done a completely different way. Wow. You know, also, they would, you know, if they didn't like what you did,

I mean, he replaced you and you never even knew it. Really? Yeah, he'd replace you. You know, like I had a scene with a guy, and they called back, you know, a month or so later and said, you got to shoot the scene again with a different actor. For whatever reason, whether, you know, the guy didn't do a good job or he looked too young or too old or just didn't fit,

he had the capacity to just shoot it again. If a scene didn't work, he'd rewrite the scene, you'd shoot the scene again, you know, three months later. What's interesting about those kind of shows, too, is that they're so big and so popular that you become that character. Whoever that character is, you become that guy, and you're that guy forever. Well, that's, of course, I mean, and that's part of the deal.

That's okay. I had no career before that, so it's not like- I'm not saying with you, but I'm saying, like, there's some people that have been, like, you've worked since then, and you'll continue to work, but there's some people that were on that show that were really famous when that show was on the air, and they vanished. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you're in the, you know, you got people all over the world watching it. I mean, I've been stopped with people literally from all over the world that have watched the show.

It was like a cult hit, like nothing that ever hit before. Like Big Pussy's Big Pussy for the rest of his fucking life. Yeah, yeah. But Vinny's also, he embraces that too, you know what I mean? Right. He embraces that. For him, it works. Right.

He's okay. He works. He does his things. No, he's always going to work. He's a very good actor. Don't get me wrong. He's got? Right. He embraces that. For him, it works. Right. He's okay. He works. He does his things. No, he's always going to work. He's a very good actor. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, and he's got his music. He's a musician and stuff, but I hear you.

Especially the name, Big Pussy. That was a big thing. People like to say that. Yeah, yeah. They do like to say that, but also his, you know, the scene in the movie when they kill him, like the whole way it plays out, it was very intense. It was like, whoa whoa i can't believe they killed big pussy well that was the big thing spoiler alert it was the first time

to a regular cast member gets killed yeah i mean they're not killing the you know uh the guy from friends right exactly david trimmer ain't getting killed you know oh one you know one friday night oh my god they killed david trimmer there's five friends now, you know. So that was a big character that gets killed, and then big characters kept getting killed, which is why guys were worried. I mean, there was a real concern that you were going to get killed off the show. The more material they gave you, the more of a shot you're getting killed. Yeah, yeah.

I mean. And let's not kid ourselves it's not just you know you're out of work they just put you out of work in the biggest show when gandolfini killed imperioli i was like whoa holy shit pinched his nose there yeah like what but you know what once you made it into the last season it was like hey listen you know right you know we're done you're paid however the story ends it's probably better if i would have got killed early on i would have felt really shitty i'll tell you and saw all the stuff that happened because you know right you know what i

mean and plus you know we didn't we started making money towards the middle in the end you know not the guys at the beginning weren't making a lot of money well those shows are hard to make money on aren't they like hbo is no they don't worry you know hbo pays and they pay now even better and the show's off the air nine years wow no you know we wanted to you know and then there was other money coming in because you had opportunities to do other shit you know well that show was also groundbreaking in that it was one of the first shows like that, and now HBO specializes in those kind of shows. And so does AMC, and so does Showtime. Yep, yep. I mean, you know.

It all kind of came from The Sopranos. It's the first time they're hiring a fat, bald guy. You know, Jim wasn't a leading man. Right. I mean, they wanted, you know, you figure, the good-looking mob guy, you know what I mean? But he was intense and charismatic, and what a fucking actor he was, too. The girls loved him. Yeah.

We used to joke, you know, they say TV puts 10 pounds on you. I say it takes 50 off you. Well, he was just, he was such an interesting character. He was so intense. And, like, when he got into that murderous rage like you fucking bought it hook line and sinker when you acted with him you didn't have to uh you know you didn't have to act scared like if it was a scene i gotta be scared you're gonna yell at me you know you was fucking you know he gave you the whole thing you know yeah we had that

fight you know me and him had that fight in the first episode of that last season i mean you know we shot that for a day and a half whoa that was tough he was choking me he said listen you know, me and him had that fight in the first episode of that last season. I mean, you know, we shot that for a day and a half. Whoa. That was tough. He was choking me. He said, listen, you know, let's try to take this as far as we can. And we fucking took it. I was pulling his hair.

He was fucking choking me. I was getting cut from the, I was wearing a, you know, necklace, you know. I was getting cut from that. I mean, we were banged up. Wow. Banged up, for real. That's why it looked real. It was like two fat out of shape guys fighting.

Guys, it's not Steven Seagal. You know, what the hell? This was like a fight. When you do something like that, how hard do you hit each other? As hard as you could without really hurting. He had said that let's go as far as we could and we were you know pull my hair pull my hair he's choking

me go ahead go further you know you know like I said we you know we're good friends you you know if you do it with a stranger it could get a little yeah funky you know what I mean like hey well you know you know it with a stranger it could get a little yeah funky. You know what I mean like hey Well, you know you know I had a fight scene on TV once I accidentally punched a guy in the face I meant to miss his face, but I threw a drink in my face And I was supposed to punch him, but I was supposed to like punch by him. I hit him right in the jaw Yeah, did it go down?

But I didn't I didn't hit him hard Oh, but I hit him you know and like you see the his face. Like, you weren't supposed to hit me. Like, just keep going. Yeah. And I had to apologize. Was he okay? Yeah, he was okay. But you could see his... When someone, especially if you're not used to getting hit on the jaw,

and you see that... Yeah. The shock and the sparks. But fight scenes like that, like your fight scene with Gandolfini, or some movies you watch people punch each other and kick each other. Like, that guy just hit that guy. Sometimes, you know. And look, I think it's, I know there was, listen, guys on the show smack me.

Really smack me. Jesus. You know, they want that, you know, hit me. You know, I've seen that on a lot of stuff that I've done. And then some guys don't want no part of it, no way, no how, but go ahead, smack me. Get the makeup girl and cover it and smack me again. You want that real reaction. It's like eating.

I'm a big believer in eating. I know you get sick of eating, but I'll eat that fucking steak. In a movie. Yeah, in a show, in a movie. So just keep bringing steaks out? Yeah, bring it out. I'll just keep eating it. And not because I'm a glutton,

because I think it looks real. Yes. I mean, they're not the little bi, you know. If you notice, I'm a little kooky, so I notice shit like that. Look, they didn't really eat that, you know. Yeah, well, that's the worst, is when you see someone who's eating a half-eaten steak,

and then the next cut, it's like a quarter-eaten steak, or three-quarters eaten. Like, where did you put steak back and the next cut it's like a quarter-eaten steak or three-quarters eaten you know would you put steak back you know it's the worst thing i don't smoke and i've never smoked cigarettes you know uh you see people smoking on tv and they can't smoke well they don't know what they're doing i know exactly i i wouldn't know i don't know i mean what what is the deal i mean how i don't know do you you you don't smoke cigarettes no but what what is the difference? I don't know. You don't smoke cigarettes. No. But what would be the difference?

I don't know. There's a thing. Hold it in your hand. Do you smoke? I think it's a casual thing. You know, it's like how comfortable are you with it? I know, but you see people that aren't. You know, like I've been asked, I said, I'll smoke a cigar, which I don't even do that,

but I can handle that. A cigar seems like so unusual that, but I could handle that. A cigar seems so unusual that anybody could do it. It's a cigarette. You see people, this guy's not a smoker. Cigarette smokers do get crazy about that. Here's the one that drives everybody the most nuts. That's a musician. When you see someone

fake playing a guitar, someone's really jamming out, and you know they're not really hitting any of the notes. Like, what is he doing? Don't even show his fingers, you fuck. Stop it. Or a guy's trying to cook or something, you know.

There's things that you gotta do your homework, you know. Yeah, I would imagine the guitar one would probably be like the worst because there's so many complicated movements and if you're like a person

who actually knows how to play and you watch it, you would know that it's fake. Fighting is that way too, though. Like, you watch fight scenes in movies, you know, like a boxing scene, you know. you know yeah like Mark Wahlberg I think he's a very good actor but that movie the fighter where he played Mickey Ward yeah like I'm watching him but this is this is a guy that's not getting hit

like he's boxing like no one's hitting him back what do you think about like the Rocky movies terrible the fight. The fight scenes are terrible. They're terrible. They're the worst. They're atrocious. There's one movie, one guy, but they're great movies as far as like, look, when I was a little kid, I saw Rocky and I drank a fucking raw egg and I ran around the block. I never run in my life. I mean, unless I was playing baseball or something.

I never ran, but that movie made me go running. I wanted to go running. Yeah, well, that made me go running. I wanted to go running. Ta-da, ta-da. Yeah, well, that's the whole thing. So it wasn't that they were bad movies, but when you watch the boxing scenes, you're like, get the fuck out of here. Well, the Raging Bull, that was good. That was good.

That was good. That was choreographed down to this. It was. Well, he recreated essentially what happened with Sugar Ray Robinson and Jake LaMotta but that but De Niro was a meticulous motherfucker in those days I mean what kind of shape he got in for that movie I mean he looked like LaMotta I mean he looked like all those days are over meticulous down to spring break he had no shirt on in spring break. Spring break. He had no shirt on. It's spring break.

You know who did the best boxing movie, though? Daniel Day-Lewis. He did that movie, The Boxer. He apparently lived like a boxer for a whole year for that movie. Although he does that kind of stuff. Yeah. And you watch him box, though, like he's boxing like a boxer. He's not boxing like a guy who won't hit a bat.

Is that what it's called, The Boxer? Yeah. Yeah, it's called The Boxer. He plays an IRA guy that gets released from prison and goes back to boxing. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. That's good. Very good.

Very good. A buddy of mine was in the Lincoln movie, and he stayed at Lincoln, as Lincoln for all that time. Oh, yeah. In character. And he was whittling and everything. I swear. Somebody said that he cut his, he sliced his thumb and somebody yelled,

let there be blood. Oh, Jesus Christ. And he got annoyed at that. I'm sure he did. Because he stays in character the whole time, I guess unless he had a, he asked for,

you know, to cut. He is above and beyond. That's a guy that loses him. Him, Christian Bale, they lose themselves in the characters. A lot of people play, myself included. You know, I'm not going to play an English professor.

You know what I mean, Joe? I can play a blue-collar guy, you know, whatever that is. But some guys, and those are two of them, they just completely disappear. Gary Oldman in the day. Gary Oldman also. Especially in the day. And Kevin Spacey used to a little also. True Romance when Gary Oldman played the white guy with the dreadlocks, the scar on his

face. Completely. But those are the four that I really you know, you know what I mean? The four guys that you say. It's a craft. You know, I mean to hit that level. It's a whole another thing. It's a different level. And then you see successful actors play literally the same person over and over.

Keanu Reeves? What did you just say? Yeah. But he's good at it. I like him in John Wick. Sarah Jessica Parker. She plays the same thing. Yeah.

You know, that and that and that. Yeah. And that's okay. She's successful and whatever. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of actors, when you go to see their movie, even though they're really good, you want to see them play that character. You know?

Like Christopher Walken. I'm looking for him to do that guy. I work with him. I work with him twice. I want him to be that guy. Yeah, exactly. I want him to be that guy. But it's got, sometimes, it's almost a caricature.

It is a caricature, yeah. You know, I did, I've worked with him twice. He's a good guy. Well, how about Al Pacino? Every movie has to have a rant. There's got to be some way! Every movie, he's got some crazy rant where he's got to go on this rant. I mean, it's in the script.

There was an old Letterman clip that I saw. I just saw it yesterday, the day before, Kevin Spacey doing Pacino to Pacino. Really, look for that. It's really funny. He does the thing. Oh, that's amazing. It's really funny. Kevin Spacey thing. Oh, that's amazing. It's really funny.

Kevin Spacey's a bad motherfucker on that Netflix show. Absolutely. Have you seen that Netflix show? No, I don't. He is very good. He's a big fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's interesting that Netflix is doing stuff like that. They're putting out their own original content. Different business model there. It's a whole different deal. You know what I mean? They're not so worried. I don't know how many people watch it. I don't watch it. But that's a different business model there. It's a whole different deal. You know what I mean? They're not so worried. I don't know how many people watch or don't watch, but that's a huge show. What the fuck is it called again?

The fuck's the Kevin Spacey? House of Cards. Thank you. How can I not remember that? He doesn't speak. He talks low. Sometimes. He wants to.

Does he ever jump in? He'll jump in if he wants to. He doesn't give a fuck. Anything goes. He doesn't give a fuck. But goes. He doesn't give a fuck. But I just like that they can do that now. They can produce their own content. You know, they can do anything.

Listen, it's the way it's going. Have you seen that Bill Burr show, F is for Family? Yeah. Did Bill ever work for you? No, but I, you know, I hosted a thing at the Garden last year, Garden of Dreams. 5,500 people. It's a kids' charity. It's a kid's charity. It's a good one.

And it was Bill Burr, John Oliver, Louis Black, Dane Cook, and Billy Gardell. And I met Bill. He's a funny guy. He's a great guy. He's funny, and he's a good guy. He's a real good guy. He's a good guy. I asked him.

What you see is what you get. He's a really funny guy. him uh what you see is what you get he's a really funny guy i mean uh and you know what i had seen him on another charity the comedy central that thing and that's the first time i had seen him but he's been around right yeah yeah he's uh he's he was fun makes me laugh a lot there's not that many comics that make me laugh laugh he's one of the best ever he's a boston guy yeah there's not too. By the way, he bakes a hell of a pie. Oh, really? Yeah. Pie baker.

He makes pumpkin pie. It's fucking delicious. Really good. He gets into it. He makes his own crust. He's got to start selling. Sell him. Sell him. Yeah.

I'm already going to get in trouble because I'm late. All right, brother. I ran into that. It was a great scene, man. Please, anytime. Whenever you're in town, let's do this more often. Are you here often? No, I haven't been because I've been working.

I've been doing the Blue Bloods. When was the last time you were here? It's been working. I've been doing the Blue Bloods. When was the last time you were here? It's been about, I'd say, close to a year. Anytime. Please, let me know.

It's a pleasure. If I'm in New York, maybe I need to go to New York and just set up shop there in New York and do a bunch of podcasts down there. That would be good.

It would be. Got a bunch of guys. So how do people get your sauce? One more time. UncleStevesNY.com. You could get it also. Albertsons,

Fairway, Whole Foods, Vons, Portfillions. Go to our website, UncleStevesNY.com You can see everything. It really is good sauce. And I know that. That's why I sent it because I knew because if you hated it, and that would be fine. If you didn't like it, you could tell me you don't like it and we wouldn't talk about it.

It's really good. There's not one person that told me it's bad. Beautiful. Steve Schrepper, ladies and gentlemen. Great talking to you, man. Please. Thanks, man. Thank you.