The Joe Rogan Experience - #795 - Ian Edwards

Episode Date: May 6, 2016

Ian Edwards is a stand up comedian and also hosts his own podcast called "Soccer Comic Rant" available on Spotify.

Man has to be careful about what size accoutrement he carries around with him, right? When you get into like the man bag category, it's like... I don't know if you can pull that off. And it's a note too, so it's big. So what we're talking about is Ian's phone cover here. It's very purse-like. It's like a change purse. Nah, you can put your cards and shit in there.

So it is a purse. Well, you know, nah. In a way. It's like a wallet, like a wallet phone. Yeah, wallet's a good word. Isn't that funny? Like there's words you're allowed to use. Like you can walk around all day with a backpack and no one says anything.

Like, well, Ian, let's just keep a shit in the backpack. Yeah. No problem with that. But if you have some sort of a satchel. Yeah. You know. It's very suspect. Very suspect.

You open yourself up for a lot of verbal attacks you know what i'm saying and it's like the style of satchel is important too because if you got like a satchel that's like in any way stylish then you can't just be wearing like converse all stars and a t-shirt you have to wear like hipster clothes you have to have like rolled up cuffs right and you have to have like a nice tie-up leather shoe you know like you have to go gavin mcginnis gavin mcginnis you know you gotta you gotta figure out what you're gonna wear with it yeah you gotta you gotta look the part yeah so that's why i still take a lot of heat for the fanny pack and i think it's funny because's funny because I wear that thing all the time. But, yeah, I feel uncomfortable when I wear it sometimes.

Like, quite honestly. Yeah, I wear it, and I realize people are looking at it, and they notice it, and they're mocking me. Hey, I don't have the balls to wear a fanny pack. I got to tell you that right now. I wear it on stage. You wear it on stage? I wore it on stage a bunch of times. Why? You're not going to pull anything out of there?

Because I don't want to leave my wallet in the green room. Shady people working at a comedy club. It's hilarious. I'd rather them steal my wallet and wear it on stage. That's how much I'm into looking like a man. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I can't do it. Now, you just call this a purse?

You may never see this again. Because I called it a purse I might I might throw the phone away with it and just get a new phone you have to have a cover though I found that out man

I tried to go natural with my my last phone and uh man I dropped it a few times and it was toast it's shattered

Jamie's going natural? you don't drop it? nah I'm pretty careful with it oh well I'm gonna drop it here and there but it's still good to go.

You know what? I don't think I dropped this one now that I have a case. That's what's fucked up. That's the funny thing. Yeah, that happens. Yeah, like you don't have a case. You're like, bad, better not drop it. Yeah.

Yeah, when you go, I've been raw. Yeah. Like no case, just raw. No condom on the phone. Yeah. And, you know. I like it. You got to be careful with that shit.

It feels good that way, though, doesn't it? It feels good that way it feels good that way i have the natural phone in your hand yeah nothing on it yeah it also feels like you're a risk taker i'm a wild motherfucker he's got no case on my phone bitch that's hilarious right doesn't it feel kind of like that in modern times that is a risk that 2016 it is a risk to not have a case on your fucking phone that's crazy you're a rebel this is how we're rebelling yeah this is the softest time to be alive ever it's so easy to be alive you know we're trying to eradicate all the dangerous parts that are left like there's

the the dangerous parts are left, like, particularly in America. They're so highlighted now. It's one of the reasons why I think, like, Chicago and Baltimore and Detroit. And when we find out, like, the murder statistics for all these cities. One of the things that freaks us out is that for the most part, most of this country is as easygoing and soft as it's ever been ever. is as easygoing and soft as it's ever been ever. So when you see some crazy violence, like on a YouTube video or Worldstar Hip Hop or something like that,

Live Leak, I watched some Live Leak shit the other day. I gotta stop doing that, man. I gotta stop. It's traumatizing. Yeah, man, they'll get you. But you realize there are still spots where it's dangerous as fuck.

But for the most part, it's so soft right now. it's so soft right now. It's so soft right now. We're risk takers. If we have no phone cover, that's us. Yeah. That's the new tattoo.

Yeah. Like having no phone cover. Everybody's tattooed now too. That's weird. I mean, obviously I have them, but I just, it's odd for me to see how many more people have tattoos today.

How long you had your tattoos a while? Well, I had one on my shoulder forever. I got one when i think i was like 23 or four or something like that was rebellious back then yeah i was like oh i'm going crazy it was something i drew too and my friend tommy uh my friend tommy jr had gone to this guy already uh danny williams in connecticut he was a really good artist man this guy already, Danny Williams in Connecticut. He was a really good artist, man. This guy was a really good artist.

Big biker looking dude. That's who you trusted with your tattoos back then. He was a wicked artist. It's like back then tattoos as an art form was way more obscure. Now I think people know like Kat Von D. They recognize these celebrity tattoo artists like Ed Hardy came out with the line of clothing like Ed Hardy was like a world famous tattoo guy like way way back in the day like his like there's a whole style of tattoos that people associate with Ed Hardy but there was only a few other ones and now it's like they have all

these magazines and TV shows and the guy that did me aaron delvedova is fucking awesome he's down in san diego at guru tattoo and it's you know he's like my he's a good friend like i really love that guy and it's like i he's a cool guy to talk to which is like i think important if you want to have someone draw on you for the rest of your life that's funny you know like they have the the like the hairdresser barbershop style yeah you know conversations when you go in there to get the tats yeah well you do you get to learn about a guy you'll get to have like these deep conversations like aaron and i we talk for like 45 hours on my right arm and like probably like 60 hours

on my left arm. It's a lot of just talking. That's a lot of talking. Sometimes you don't really talk though because sometimes he's just deep into it and I'm just like watch a

like a watch a I was watching that's where I watched like most of Breaking Bad. Oh for real? Season one and season two. Oh shit that's funny.

Getting tattooed. That's like the perfect show to watch if you're getting a tattoo. Yeah. That's good mood music. You know what I'm saying? Watching Breaking Bad and getting a tattoo. It's almost like the pain of the tattoo accentuates the show.

Yeah. Because the show is so chaotic and fucked up. Yeah. It's almost like better while someone's drilling on your elbow. The tattoo needle. Damn. You said elbow and needle yeah i felt that you feel it yeah that's that's a rough spot the inside of the elbow right right here that's a

really rough spot what's interesting is that the closer it gets to your chest it's a really rough spot like you're like whoa different spots have different um levels of pain that you experience from it's very strange like Like your shoulder, nothing. You could draw on me all day on my shoulder. I fall asleep. Like I'm not kidding. It's weird.

Like the shoulder just doesn't seem to hurt. But you get down to like some area of the inside of the arm. Yeah. It's like a different feeling. I guess the nerves are closer.

Like anywhere that's got more meat on it is like protected more from the, I don't know. It doesn't make sense. That's funny, though. No, it's like you're finding out shit about your body while you're getting tattooed. It's kind of like sometimes you're having sex with a girl. I always like when she's like, oh, I never felt that before. Then nobody's ever touched that part or explored that part.

And it's like, you're finding shit out. Where are you digging, Ian Edwards? Everywhere. Everywhere. Where am I not digging? Especially if you love a chick, you just, you'll try to find some shit. Oh, of course. When a girl says like that, a good percentage of me always goes, yeah, right.

Oh, shit. Fuck you. Every time in my life a girl said something like that, I've always been like, okay. Because it seems like something that girls think that guys want to hear, don't you think? Yeah, it's a part of faking it. Yeah. Well, it's a part of getting the guy to like you yeah like getting a girl to like you guys will do all kinds of ridiculous artificial shit pretend to be a certain way pretend to behave a certain way

but when it gets down to it you know you get to know them it takes takes a long time to chip away from that stuff so when someone says something that's like cliche ridiculous or along those lines you gotta think like oh this person's just running their game in their game yeah they're running they're falling in love with me yeah they're falling in love with me you gotta you gotta challenge those women just to just so that they respect you and you keep it on that level you know or? Or don't date fakers. Yeah. That's hard, though. That's hard, though. Some of them are hot.

Yeah. What are you doing? Checking tweets while the show's going on? No, I was trying to retweet the thing, but I'm not getting any reception. Reception, yeah. That's the only thing I want to do is retweet it. But my purse ain't allowing me to do that shit.

Yeah, you're a rebel because you have an Android phone, too. You're a rebel in both ways. Gangsta, son. You don't give a fuck. Is that the note where you could draw on the screen? Yeah. Those are the shit. Yeah, I love that shit.

I love it. You have that? No. You had one, though. I had one of those, yeah. And then you switched it back out? Yeah, now I have a Galaxy. Okay.

And I have an iPhone. I have two different phones. Oh, that's good. So you got both. Yeah. But to miss that note, I just think that ability to draw on the show, I was like, God, it's going to come into play someday. I'm going to make some funny shit with this.

You know, like have your friends. But it seems like those meme generators, we just go and get like a little thing and put the text into it. It seems like that's easier. It's easier, but sometimes it's a pain in the ass sometimes to into it it seems like that's easier it's easier but sometimes it's a pain in the ass sometimes to move it to where you want to move it to right like the reason one of the reasons i like having this is like like there was a like last year i wasn't i didn't i was living in a friend's i sold that place remember one last time and i was living

at a friend's house i didn't have no printer no no printer, no setup where you could like, if you get a contract for a show or just with anything, so you could print it up yourself. With this, you just look at the thing on your phone, you could sign it. You could like read the contract

and then sign it and just send it via email back without printing anything out or anything. That's incredible. It was dope, yeah. That's a big thing to have in that case.

But how weird is it that we're still signing things? How much longer is that going to go on? Think about it. A unique movement with your hand? Really? We all know that I used to replicate all the kiss signatures. Every

kid knows how to do that, right? Michael Jordan's autograph. Oh, for sure. Probably a bunch of people who have fake memorabilia. With a guy like kid knows how to do that right yeah sure michael jordan's autograph oh for sure well probably a bunch of people who have fake memorabilia right yeah like with a guy like michael jordan like a basketball signed by michael jordan is worth how much more than a regular basketball and a fake basketball not signed by michael jordan is worth still a lot of money yeah well how about yeah it doesn't even have to be a real basketball it'd be a child's toy michael jordan signs it's worth a lot of money so it it only makes sense that a unique hand

movement it could be easily replicated it's not like what he could do on the basketball court he could do with his handwriting you know is that hilarious nobody can fuck with his handwriting you can't do it dude nobody could who the fuck slams dunk from center court like he did? Nobody. You can't do it. I can't do it. But the motherfucker writes just like us. Exactly, right? He doesn't have some crazy writing move that nobody can replicate. That's hilarious.

He just writes his name. So all you have to do is look at that thing and then recreate it. I was watching this documentary on art forgery. Fascinating shit. Oh shit. Fascinating shit. Which one? I wish I could remember because I caught it on television and I caught it when it was

already started, you know, just flipping through the channels like, what is this? And I don't remember. But what I do remember was that there was an article that I had read as well about this one guy who was a forgery guy, but in a weird way. What he would do is he would make a fake version, a new piece of art, but from that artist's style. And this guy apparently was making fucking millions of dollars in Europe with this. Like people would go crazy. Was it like after the war during the war or something like that i wish i remembered that um do you know what it is

yeah i'm pretty sure this is it it's on i'm pretty sure it's on netflix or it was yes that's the guy built rocky the art of forgery is what it is yes okay there we go really his story is really cool how he does it you can probably explain it yeah oh no it's. He would study the art of each guy or woman or whoever he was trying to replicate. And then he would create a new fake piece that they did that was so good that experts couldn't understand it. Experts were, they were like, this is a Picasso. Like, I know Picasso. I've seen Picasso. I've studied Picasso.

This is a Picasso. That I know Picasso. I've seen Picasso. I studied Picasso. This is a Picasso. That's how good he was. And I think what fucked him up was he got cocky and he used a color of paint that wasn't available back then. And it was almost like Summit speculated that he did it. Like he wanted to see if he could get caught. Like, it's almost like he wanted to take credit for his work.

Yeah. Like a serial killer or some shit. Yeah, exactly. That was how it happened, right? I'm pretty sure because I was really confused as I was watching it because he and his wife both got arrested and both were serving prison sentences, but they were allowed out during the day to go work. To draw.

They had to be separated in some part. But yeah, I think he was working, now selling art of his own during the day to go work to draw and they had to be separated for some in some part but yeah i think he was working now selling art of his own because he was so good and people knew how good his forgeries were some people actually wanted those forgeries because they were so good so now he's yeah the name of his own i can't wait till somebody forges his shit well he doesn't have a style he's like a hack comedian he's a hack comedian you know what i mean but obviously super talented what a bittersweet thing though because you got to think that a guy that can be that talented that can replicate that that is art

right right because he's doing new pieces right new pieces in their style which in a way is kind of more honorable of form of forgery i mean if you're going to go down the fucker food chain like to recreate a piece of art is probably more honorable or to create your own version of this person's art is probably more honorable than like if you had a painting and i'd made an exact duplicate of it when you first started the story i was like fuck rich people for being so much into art they deserve to get screwed by this dude then when you said he's a hack then i related to it on a comedy level and i was like fuck this guy because i feel the pain of following hacks who are ripping yeah you know what i'm saying or or getting you know accolades and audiences don't know that they're a hack.

Oh, that's the worst. So the story, I can relate to it on different levels. Isn't that a terrible feeling when you walk in a room and someone's killing with some really bullshit material? You know for sure this is just chop-chop material. It makes me more angry at the audience than the person because I've already been angry at this person. I've already seen them before before known them before most likely but then it's like i have to try to do my shit in front of this audience that doesn't know that this is fake this is a fake y'all yeah i watched somebody

steal one of freddie soto's bits the other day oh shit i had to leave the room audience was laughing i had to leave the room i was like oh god yeah I can't even see this. Yeah. You know? Especially a guy like Freddie, who's dead, who was awesome. One of the best guys ever. Just such a sweetie. I'm trying to get over stuff like that, though, and not let it affect me. Yeah, you got to just get away from it. You know, we were talking about that last night, Tony Hinchcliffe and I.

Because he was talking about people that get to a certain point in their career and then they wind up fucking things up. Right, right. And Tony's like super ambitious. So Tony's, he's essentially making sure that none of this stuff ever happens to him. So he's like seeing things that people have fucked up. And then, you know, dealing with people that hate on him because he's ambitious because you know he's always getting after it right that kid's always writing always doing new stuff and some people they just get upset with them like they think they they feel like he's his

ambition is threatening to their examination of themselves right you know and we were having a conversation about it last night and i was like don't dwell on it just you know it's easier said than done but you see all these people out there that are fucking up don't pay attention to them right just there's plenty of people around like burr like you like joey like ari there's there's plenty of people that are out there that are just killing it right pay attention to them you know this is the best time ever for this shit. Yeah. You know? Like, my new thing is, you know, and I've done it in spurts, like, just focus on the shit that I want. Not the stuff that can stop me from getting what I want.

Yeah. But I find, like, if you focus on the stuff that you want or where you want to get to and you have tunnel vision, then you'll be fine and you'll get there. vision then you'll be fine and you'll get there like instead of creating all this wasting time taking the time away from your creativity thinking about what people are thinking about you and all that stuff and just focus on like i need to make this joke work this joke work i need to do this i need to do that everything that gets you that step further you know well there's i think there's patterns of thought that are really easy to fall into yeah they just seem natural and one of them is when there is something that's in your way and you're trying to figure out why it's in your way you start concentrating on some of the aspects of it that are out of your control right like you know how come they don't like what i do but they like what she does or how come you know this is happening how the fuck this guy get this how instead of Try to figure out

How to get so tuned into what you're doing that you don't concentrate on what they do you just concentrate? God come how many times I clear my fucking throat. I gotta stop drinking this butter coffee. Mm-hmm fucks up podcasts It does right. I'm a little too. I am a Little too much, but it's hard to say I mean it's hard. It too much. But it's hard to say. I mean, it's easy to say. It's hard to do. It's hard to actually get your mind into a place where you're concentrating on only what you're trying to do, especially in the beginning of your career,

where you're trying to get out there and get booked, and nobody wants to book you. Some dude was bitching about that at the comedy store the other night. some dude was bitching about that at the comedy store the other night he was talking about how you know nobody's helping him out and all you know all these other people are doing well and but you know it's just it seems like it's bullshit and the system is like stacked against him it's like jesus christ like you're dead well it's it's so foolish because nobody knows who you are first of all if nobody knows who you are there's no there's no plotting against you they don't know yet right and this idea that this it's some big grand conspiracy just because that's fear and ego both of those together but these patterns and these patterns that people go down to down through they're just they seem real normal it seems

normal to concentrate on stupid shit it's almost like it's a distraction from concentrating on the really important shit that's it's it's so comforting I'm trying not to clear my throat now fuck it just do it but it's it's so comforting to go down those stupid patterns right that's what happens with people that's how people get obsessed about things they get obsessive. They start freaking out. It's like they're patterns. You're creating your own distractions. Listen, man, nobody can work harder to stop you than you want to work hard enough to make it.

So just work hard and you're good. Nobody's taking that much time out of their life to stop you like that. Yeah. Well, most of it is in your head. Yeah, most of it is in our head. Most of it's in our head most of it especially comics well i guess everybody but like i've had a good has a comic yeah i've been in my head we all have yeah everybody has i you know frankestino and i were talking about this last night the comedy store bar we're talking about the difference between when you're learning how to do stand up and you kind of like

wonder if this is gonna work like you have this idea like oh god is this gonna work can i get this to work how do i get this to work which you still kind of do as you get like better at it or more experienced but as you get older it's how do i convey why I think this is funny right you know yeah before I had like jokes yeah but now I have like concepts or premises

that aren't funny it's like how do I make this funny yeah what do I think is funny about this yeah yeah

how do we get started on this we're talking about something I was gonna diverge but i forgot what did what did we go from we went from we're gonna show the tom segura thing we should probably show that that's why i'm so distracted this tom let me just explain this let me give let me get a little uh in depth tom segura our pal uh is killing it. He's been on the road. He's selling out theaters.

He's killing it all over the place. And one of the things that he has to do, unfortunately, is sometimes he has to do these morning shows. So if he's trying to sell tickets and let everybody know that he's in town, he does morning radio, and he'll do these morning TV shows. And when you talk about levels of lameness for entertainment, the morning shows are the most... It's like people who think milk is spicy. They're just like, how can you drink a whole milk?

I have to water my milk down and put sugar in it. It's like the last remnants of grandma TV. They're the weirdest shows. They don't bear any resemblance to anybody that I know that's that age. When I see them talking, these young people, young, handsome, good-looking people, and you go, who the fuck are they? Whose talk's like this? What planet are they from?

Where is this taking place? You guys are a time capsule to a 1950s that never really existed. It's a media depiction of the Norman Rockwell days. Yeah, it's like they colorized some old black and white news footage. Yeah. You know? They're brutal. They're brutal to do, point being.

Morning radio shows are usually pretty fun. You know, most of those guys are just trying to have a good time. So Tom goes on these morning tv shows and now he has a character and his character is a rapper and uh he wears he's got a chinchilla scarf on and a giant fat gold rope and he's wearing his sunglasses with his cincinnati hat on and he plays his character now and he just says a bunch of crazy shit. And to him, so much more fun than actually trying to have a... So, Tom, where'd you start comedy, and when did you know that you were going to be a funny man? Instead of that, he does this.

So, the announcement. The big announcement I wanted to make is that last year, you know, I came out as poly and bi, and now I'm proud to say that I'm non-binary. What is that? Interesting. Is there any, is there more to this? Because I'm confused. Oh yeah, like so most people fall within the male and female binary and then I'm non-binary so I don't fall into either one you know so like I'm actually like fluid binary meaning that depending on

the moment I kind of go between different genders. Interesting. So like today I'm astral gender right now, which is that I'm a gender from outer space. As two hosts who couldn't find a door yesterday to get into a place, we are totally lost. Listen to the way you're talking. We're trying to giggle through it.

It's a pretty big thing to come out as non-binary. Yeah, you're the first we've encountered. Really? Yeah, totally. So that is a big announcement. It's a big announcement, yeah. Thanks for announcing that on our show. Yeah, I'm happy to share with everybody She actually listen to the way you talk if you don't mind referring me as they real like Chick is at least trying to be They are gonna be at the comedy zone tonight, so what can people expect from you?

Well, you know we're're going to do our thing. It's a whole new hour. It's different than mostly stories or completely normal, the last two Netflix specials. So it's a whole new hour. And then, you know, I'll be going from the stage, like I said, to spinning records at a local place for an after show. Maybe doing some recruiting here in the area too, right? Yeah, I mean, I might have time to swing by

Tallahassee maybe on Friday, meet some players and try to sign somebody else. I'm excited. You are a busy guy. A triple threat, but in different careers. I like that. Absolutely. Well, you can catch Tom on stage

all weekend at the Comedy Zone Shout out to Throatzilla Shout out to Throatzilla Oh shit Do you know who Throatzilla is? Tom Segura is obsessed with black Twitter And so is Jamie. So Jamie can clue you on it better than anybody.

But Throatzilla is apparently a prostitute who's famous for her oral skills. And she was involved in some sort of a paid sexual experience with a football player who turned out to be a cheapskate. Didn't want to pay up. So she blew him up, and then everybody got to know who Throatzilla is. Throatzilla has a fucking hilarious Instagram page. Well, we don't need to see what football player it is. Let people do some Googling. Leave the man alone.

He liked getting his ass eaten. Nothing wrong with that. She's got a popular Snapchat too, apparently. But she's hilarious. She's hilarious. She's actually been a guest on your mom's house. You ever listen to your mom's house? I've been on it, bro.

You've been on it? Yeah. You haven't listened? I haven't listened, no. Well, you listened to the one that you were on because you were in it. You were involved. You had to be listening, right? So one.

Me too. I've listened to a couple of their clips, though, online. Their fucking shit is hilarious. They're so funny together. Yeah, they to a couple of their clips though online their fucking shit is hilarious they're so funny together yeah they've been pumping up their YouTube channel so they got all their new podcasts

just like we've been doing and some clips up there too they're killing it Tom is killing it on the road too he's killing it it's so nice it's so nice to see a guy

who's that talented just get recognized you know yeah he's doing dope man I'm happy for him yeah he's a funny fucking dude man yeah like even just watching now he's just having fun like yeah you can make anything fun man like you don't want to get up in the morning to do that shit that shit is tiring and he's just

i'm gonna figure out a way to do this shit yeah they're brutal those those are the most brutal but it's also brutal because you know that you're gonna have to like figure out a way to be awake at 8 o'clock

for the show like you can't be sleepy you know so you know you only got like 2 or 3 hours sleep before you got up for this thing

because most of the time most comics don't go to bed until like 1 or 2 you can get up at 6 do this radio thing bleary eyed and most of the time it sucks

and then you gotta kinda be phony too sometimes. Cause you're, you're like with a bunch of phony people. So it's like, this is a great way to not be phony and make fun of this phony situation. Yeah. But Tom's,

he's figured it out. I never figured it out. I would just go and do them. Yeah. Like that guy in the blue shirt, full of shit. Yeah. He's full of shit.

At least the girl was like, I don't get it. And she nervously said it, but she said it. Yeah it yeah and then she there's another thing she reacted to like the correct way but still with a nice morning uh tv personality person way but at least she was like more honest the guy was like hey uh well that's good to know rolling with the thing that he doesn't even understand well what he's doing is what they do. It's that way of talking that, you know, that there's a bunch of different fake ways of talking

that people just slide right into. Like strip club DJ, that's one, right? Top 40 DJ, that's one. That's hilarious. Hey, coming up next, all right. You know, there's a way of talking that is exactly the same. And they all replicate it. Those are two, like, real big ones.

Yeah. News people voice. Mm-hmm. News. News man voice. The news. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a way of talking. And there's, like, subtle variations that even, like, today's pros use. There's a style of communication that lets you know they mean business right this is very serious very very serious yeah and so these morning guys they're they have like ryan seacrest posters up all over their house he's the god he's the god of that style ryan seacrest nailed it he nailed it at life all he did name his talent. All he does is talk smooth and look great. Keeps his hair coiffed. Like literally.

Guy's made hundreds of millions of dollars by talking smooth and looking great. That's it. Just being that guy. All right. Way to go, Janet. All right. Likes everything. Next two, yeah.

Next two callers. That's all you have to do. Just never get negative. Let it all roll off your back. Yeah. When when you go home you scream into a pillowcase what is this who wants to dress like ryan t crest a lot of people new york magazine what are you showing me here buddy he's got a clothing line he's got a popular clothing line no of course he does quote did you hear about what happened with arsenio and shanae o'connor no somebody told me on the way up i saw like a photo of him like on a news feed but she's accusing him of giving prince percocet what and prince dying of an overdose. Sinead O'Connor is accusing Arsenio Hall of doing that?

Why would she do that? Is that true? Wait a minute. First of all, just because you gave someone a fucking Percocet, like a lot of people take Percocets and there's nothing wrong with them. They're going to be okay. But she called the feds and said, I called the feds and you better get your house in order because they're coming for you like she's basically blaming him for prince's death that's so crazy first of all he had an addiction to pain pills right hall has denied the heinous accusations in the lawsuit despicable

fabricated lies that's awful it's awful in a whole bunch of ways like it's awful that prince was addicted to pills right i didn't expect's awful that Prince was addicted to pills. Right, I didn't expect that. I guess he was addicted to pills because of his hips. Apparently his hips just fucked up from all those years of spinning around and throwing kicks and fucking doing splits. Throwing kicks. You know, when he would do those shows, man, he was super active. And he was always just dropping down and doing the splits.

Like, that's probably not the best way to treat your body. A lot of that stuff was super impressive because it was real explosive. He'd spin around with his guitar and drop down and do the splits. It's like WWE moves. Yeah, it's like those wrestlers and shit, they get hooked too. When Dave Chappelle had that whole bit about Prince being a really good basketball player with Charlie Murphy. It made sense. Like, of course he is.

Like, look how fast he is. Look how, like, well he moves when he dances on stage. But I guess that shit just played, wrecked havoc on his legs. Yeah. That motherfucker was electric, man. Like, after he died, I was watching some concert footage. And it's like, he makes you feel like you're there. He puts on a show man yeah he

was one of the greats without a doubt one of the all-time greats i mean when it comes to music i mean we were talking about this uh on a recent podcast about uh i want to be your lover when that song came out i was like who is this guy it just it just had this completely new sort of feel to it where you were hoping, like, I hope this – Like, I remember there's a bunch of artists that when they came out, like Terrence Trent Darby was one of them. He was one of them where he came out and his songs were so cool. And I was like, I hope this guy figures this out. Right. I hope this guy keeps going.

Because some of these guys, they'll come out with some really cool songs and a really cool thing and then it goes away. Which is crazy. We were talking about Guns N' Roses last night because they were one of the groups that, all right, this is going to be around for a long time for sure. They're the next new Rolling Stones or whatever. And it's just like they just, it's more of a shock that they didn't last than if they did. Right. You know? Yeah.

And Terrence Tran Jar be like, yeah, he was, he's one of those sure things back then. And like some people you heard, you're like, they're a one hit wonder. You're like, no, this person is going to be. Talented. Yeah. Sinead O'Connor too. She's one of them. Yeah.

That bitch was so fucking, and is so be talented yeah Sinead O'Connor too she's one of them yeah that bitch was so fucking in is so fucking talented that you go well where's her body of work why doesn't she have a hundred albums out why does she have a million hits she's so good when she's on you know like the early shit when she first came out you like whoa she's whoa. Yeah, this is different. She's a storm, like an electric storm. Like Jesus Christ, she was good. She might be like sensitive or something happened to her. Probably.

She got turned off from the business or something. Well, do you remember when she tore up that picture of the Pope? Right. That was a big problem. I think she wasn't ready for that negativity that came with that opinion. That was like 20 years ahead of time. Yeah. Yeah. I know, man. She was right. big problem i think she wasn't ready for that negativity that came with that that opinion that was like 20 years ahead of time yeah yeah i know man she was right isn't that crazy yeah she was right yeah if she did that shit today people would support her and cheer for her she's a

very brave person in that regard yeah if she did it today they'd be like she's a hack yeah people then she did it too soon it's too original too soon there was this kid a long time ago that had an mtv music video and people were saying that this kid is the future of rock and roll he's like 19 years old when the um he had a song called beat so lonely fine fine who fucking sings that but this dude was like a badass guitarist, and he was like 19 years old, and it was one of those things where they were hyping him up. Yeah, Charlie Sexton. So if we play this, it'll probably get us kicked off YouTube, right?

I can play it for the audio. Play it for the audio. For people who, this, anyway, this guy was really young, and he was this good-looking Johnny, like a Johnny Depp who does a lot of speed. He was this good-looking Johnny, like a Johnny Depp who does a lot of speed. It was like this good-looking, young, talented guitarist. And what year does it say down there, Jimmy, if you scroll down?

Yeah, okay, so this is my senior year in high school. And this guy came out, and there was this crazy black and white music video. This is the days of MTV, you know? So he's walking down this black and white stream and in between him walking with his cool looking earrings and his fucking Fonzie leather jacket on. You see the producer sliding up the dials on the mixing board and all these neon signs. And, you know, so stylish and produced and so obviously contrived but as a 15 what was i 17 i guess yeah 17 year old kid watching this i remember thinking whoa like this guy is uh you know he's not that much older than me and he's like smoking cigarettes hanging out with these rockers but it's not playing any

of this song yet it's just that but it's like his singing is kind of interesting too but they put so much effort into this it was it was one of those things it was like well they're for sure gonna force feed us this guy like present rock stars make videos like this now like retro shit yeah retro versions of this that aren't as good this is a pretty good song people are getting mad at me right now no it's not you fuck i'm telling you i really this song, especially when it came out when I was 17. And I thought this fucking guy was going to be giant. He had all the right pieces. He didn't have tattoos back then because dudes didn't have tattoos. But if it was today, he would have tattoos all over his hands and shit.

He had some shit written on his neck. But he's got all the right bracelets. All the right bracelets. All the right bracelets. His hair looks perfect. All the right bracelets. His hair looks perfect. That's hilarious. I want him to listen to this show and call in or something. Where is he now?

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's like a giant country star. There's country stars that you don't even know about that are like fucking hundreds of millions of sales. Boy, I just saw the, when you showed the image of me, I realized how high I am. Slow down, bitch. Shit, I'm getting high. I'm not even bullshit. Yeah, you got high in this room.

We hotbox Ian. Ian's got an adversity to the weed. Anybody who tells you you can't get hotboxes is a fucking liar, too, by the way. I can tell you that right now. Somebody tried to tell me the other day that hotboxing isn't real. I was like, what are you talking about? It's 100% real. You're breathing in weed in a room where there's weed.

It's like smoking weed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not as effective as taking a hit, but it's pretty close. If you stay in there long enough and the room is like, there's a lot of weed going around and the room is small and it's intense and it's in the air, that's all you're going to breathe in. That's all you're going to breathe in. That's all you're breathing in.

It might be more than taking a few hits when you're out in the street with some friends. Did I ever tell you about when I was a judge for the Cannabis Club? Cannabis Cup. Cannabis Cup. Yeah, I judged the Cannabis Cup one year. And they would hand you, you know how like old people that have like hip injuries, they carry around a lot of pills. They'll have like Monday, Tuesday carry around a lot of pills? They'll have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Oh, yeah. One of those little seven tray things. This is what they gave you. And it was filled with weed. And they were handing out pipes and lighters and edibles. And it was so ridiculous. The idea that anybody got judged was so ridiculous. Hilarious. Because it was me and a bunch of other people who were judges

like people from the local cannabis community and i think there were some rappers in there as well but by the time you're on pot number two like who knows what's happening yeah exactly who how do you know if three is affecting you or four is affecting you or five or one you don't you don't you don't have any idea you have to do that each one for a day you do one and you come back the next day do the other one and that still might not be enough time i think you're 100 right and then you also would have to deal with the fact that if you did it on monday tuesday one if you did it every day like that your body would get accustomed to getting high yeah so you probably get less high as the week goes on. But some people say that you get accustomed to different strains.

That's Joey Diaz, though. Joey Diaz, listen, dog, I smoke different shit every day. I don't want these motherfuckers getting used to me. Used to me? He thinks you get used to certain kinds of weed and they don't affect you anymore. You got to try new shit. He might be on to something, though. I think he's right.

I think he's right? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I think he's right, too, in some sort of a way. For sure, with sativas versus indicas, it's definitely a different feeling, right? There's so many strains here you can get out of the store.

You can try it. Just smoke one for a week and then just get a different one. You'll be like, holy shit. You can even it. Just smoke one for a week and then just get a different one. You're like, holy shit. You can even get cheaper weed instead of smoking all the top shelf stuff. What's fucking me up now? Sativa or Indigo? This is Sativa.

Sativa? Yeah. This is, I'll tell you what it's called. Are they labeled? These are all from LA Speed Weed. LA Speed Weed's the way to go, ladies and gentlemen, if you're in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is the most ridiculous thing in the world because they're trying to stop that

and they're trying to stop it in some weird some sort of a zoning way like what they're trying to say is because he's delivering it like where he's selling it becomes a place of business so it has to be zoned in a certain way like this is the argument which is ridiculous because

how would fast food restaurants deliver? How would Domino's deliver? Because these places aren't zoned for being restaurants. If someone just shows up at your house with a pizza, your house doesn't have to be zoned for being a restaurant for him to show up at your house with a pizza. But if someone shows up at your house selling weed and you live next to a school, it becomes problematic. It's interesting. It's an interesting argument. It's going to go away because it's silly.

But it's going to cost a lot of people some money. And probably Gino from LA Speedweed is going to cost him some money. It seems like something the city makes up to try to make some money. Yeah, probably. Well, it might be someone who's anti-weed, who is at the top. I have some friends that are not pot smokers, that don't like pot, don't believe in pot, and they're older than me. And they'll still hang on to some of these silly ideas about pot.

And they'll go, well, you're different to me. I go, oh, I'm different. Like, what are you talking about? I'm like, 90% of potheads are like me. Like, it's the ones who stand out are the ones that are the outliers. It's the ones with the dirty feet and the fucking, the macrame clothes

and playing fucking, what is that thing where you kick the ball with your foot? Hacky sack? Yeah. That's funny. It's like when you belong to a group, there's always an annoying section of that group

that makes you not want to belong to that group. Of course. annoying section of that group yes that makes you not want to belong to that group that's of course that's where the black people or gay people a certain type of gay people like other gay people like can't stand yeah because it might give gay people a bad look and they say same thing with weed yeah and then then somebody who's against that thing completely meets you like i've been you know, like when I was a teenager, white people were like, you're different than other black guys. Which was an insult.

For sure. That's like in the social justice warrior handbook, how not to talk to black guys. Exactly. It's almost as bad as saying nigga, but you're telling me, I'd rather you call me nigga at that point. Because now you're telling me i'm not black

enough right i'm saying right and and first of all you don't know any other black people we're working at burger king i'm the first one you met so you're only listening the only thing you know about black people is what you see on the news so then you meet me and you don't feel threatened then you're like you're not like other black guys but i'm the only black person you know you live in an all-white neighborhood i'm working in an all-white neighborhood. I'm working in an all-white neighborhood Burger King. That's hilarious. It's so true. That's one of the reasons why New York City is such a good place to live.

Because everybody integrates. Because New York City, everybody's on the subway, everybody's walking on the street, and everybody's around everybody. One of the weird things about L.A. in general is that it's a car culture. And you're in your little isolated box, and you're in your little isolated box and you drive to your little isolated community and then you go back and forth from work to wherever you hang out and those are your spots and you don't interact with other people like face-to-face person to person on a daily basis just the best thing about new york yeah because that train man everybody's on that train all kinds of people because even if you're rich enough to take a taxi, it's traffic up there.

Yep. The train is still the fastest place, fastest way to get somewhere. It's the only way to go. Yeah, it's mixed, man. It's good. Yeah. It's super important, too, because one of the things that I think everybody who I know who used to be poor, Ron White and I were talking about this the other night.

When you haven't made it, when you're broke, you always feel like it's never going to happen. You always feel like it's completely out of touch. Like, I'm poor. I'm always going to be poor. This fucking struggle is never going to go away. But when you're around people who used to be poor too, but they figured out how to do it, you go,

Oh, they're just a fucking person. Right. You know? And when you see some dude and he's in some corner office and some giant ass building and he's a CEO of the company, you can't imagine that at one point in that guy's life, he was fucked up.

Like at one point in his life, he was depressed and lost and failing in school and couldn't figure it out You know and was wondering about his future, but almost everybody has lows. Most everybody has Almost every successful person that I've ever met had some crazy adversity early on they figured their way through that And then they figured out how to become successful Partially even because of that so when you're on like a train and everybody's all together then i think it's the one of the best sort of ways to keep that separation that us and them separation with like the classes especially because that's a real fucking mindset of rich people and a real mindset of poor people that they're just there's two

different groups of us right but it's so stupid it's not it it's just a bunch of people and they're on the same journey that you're on in a different direction just maybe a little bit further down the road right or maybe they didn't stop as many times as you did maybe they didn't get flat tires maybe they didn't you know have as many potholes in the road but they're all we're all just on this fucking same thing we're all just people so when you look at some dude you know and you're poor and you got holes in your sneakers and some guy's got a rolex on and he's wearing this expensive suit and he's got cufflinks and he's checking his newspaper and reading the wall street journal and you look at his expensive shoes like this motherfucker's got some money man how the hell did he do that?

And I'm here, a loser. He just did it. He's just a person, just like you, man. You don't know. You never look at his origin story. You just look straight at Batman doing his shit. Exactly. You don't see what he had to go through to learn all that shit.

It's a good way to put it. You want to get there. Yeah, you want to get there, but it seems like it's impossible. Speaking of getting there, I tried to watch soccer last night. Oh, yeah, I was going to bring that up. People tweeted me that you're watching soccer. I'm going to invite you to a game on Sunday at the Galaxy. This is Mother's Day.

Mother's Day. Oh, shit. It can't happen. I can't do it. Yeah, what happened? Why? Well, I was at the store, uh we were hanging out in the secret comedians bar and um and soccer was on so we just started watching it just started watching that shit who had that on ron white was watching it i was watching it some of the employees were

watching it um who else was in there with us tony was watching at one point but i started getting upset at these dudes getting slapped and going down like they got hit with a meteor. I didn't like that. I'm like, I just can't support this kind of nonsense. You were watching a really good game. Yeah. Yeah. You were watching a really good game.

Yeah, it was amazing, like skill-wise. Bayern Munich in the red, they're the best German team, and this is a Champions League game, so I don't even know how to explain it. And this is a Champions League game. So I don't even know how to explain it. Champions League is where the four best teams in each league in each country play in a tournament to be the best club team in Europe. So Bayern is the number one team in Germany. Athletico, they're number two, number three.

Right now, they're actually in the number two spot right now. But last year, they finished maybe second or third at the end there they have less money but their coach is an ex-argentina player and he figured out a system where they just hustle they just out hustle you you get the ball and there's three motherfuckers on you and you're gonna cough it up and they're gonna get it and they'll score one or two goals a game. And that's enough. But, you know, and Bayern is just so really skilled that they might be able to, they beat most teams. But Atletico is just so disciplined that, you know, they knock them out. And they're going to the Champions League final versus Real Madrid.

So there's two Spanish teams in the Champions League final. And both of them are from the same city. So it's like the Lakers versus the Clippers for like the best, the championship of what are we in? Like of North America. When we do it in North America, we call it the World Championships. We call it the what? Yeah. The NBA is the World Championships. We call it the what? Yeah, the NBA is the World Championships.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just because it's all the best players in the world, technically. No, I understand. But, like, when they do it in the World Cup, it actually is the world. It is the world, yeah. It is the world. Because there's not really any competition coming over from Europe trying to play against the Lakers, right?

It's just not really going to happen. They're not going to have a team that they develop overseas that can compete with an L.A. team. Like basketball has this thing where I think they have like all the North American, they have a tournament where all the like Brazil and like all the, are we in North America? Where are we? This is North America.

All the North American teams. Did you really ask that? Yeah. Listen, man. You were born in another country. I've just been hot boxed. No. Like, I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I've just been hot boxed. So, yeah, like all the countries play around this area, around this area, play against each other. And I guess America normally wins. But this is a big tournament, man. Yeah but this is this is this is this is a big tournament man yeah this is the actual whole world I know that's what I want what I was thinking like are there any sports with the United States competes with the whole world and does well in soccer no and any other sport

yeah well I was just to say the difference in this too is where you're thinking I guess maybe World Cup is team teams for countries right this is uh teams for professional clubs like these teams are owned and that like so these teams wouldn't necessarily play the united states they would play like the columbus crew or the la galaxy okay they're not on the same skill level so it would be a really bad game okay so when someone says like manchester united that's a club that's a club that's like the yankees okay yeah that's a club? That's a club. That's like the Yankees. Okay. Yeah, that's like the Yankees in soccer in England. Yeah. Okay. But when you would think of,

so they would play against a bunch of other different Britain teams. There's a Real Madrid basketball team, and they wouldn't want to play against any NBA team because they would get destroyed the same way they would beat our soccer teams. But the United States plays Spain in World Cup type competition. And we also have something like that where it's a CONCACAF, and it's like United States plays Spain in like World Cup type competition and we also have something like that

where it's a CONCACAF and it's like United States versus Mexico versus some of the smaller Latin American countries. What I was getting at was is there a sport where the United States is competitive in a world stage? Like a sport where... Like basketball.

Yeah, like basketball. Yeah, yeah. We're usually like the best at that. Yeah, but the world doesn't play basketball. The problem with us being competitive at basketball, it's like someone over here being a cricket champion. Nobody gives a fuck. Like if you go to Greece or Turkey or Spain, they have their version of the NBA, right? Right.

They have their version of the NBA, but those teams and those players are not as good as ours. And they come from all different countries. And then when it's time for you to play for your country, you're still not as good as America. And that's when in the Olympics, they have a world championship for basketball, for real, I think. And they have the Olympics, which is like the one that everybody pays attention to the most.

That's where all the countries get together and play basketball. But isn't it fascinating that there's a clear winner as far as like who's the best still when what is basketball really it's moving your feet which everybody knows how to do throwing a ball which most people know how to do dribbling and then learning how to get super awesome at all those skills right that doesn't seem like it's not like something where someone has to teach you, some master strategist who's like the greatest in the world has to teach you. Like it's almost like a form of expression. Right.

It's like why are Americans so much better at it? I think, I don't know. It's like in soccer, Brazil, like I've been trying to ask myself the same question. Why is Brazil so good at soccer? They love it. You know? But a lot of countries around the world love it. But they have like five World Cup championships or maybe six.

Germany is good too. Brazil has a great history of soccer, like with Pele, of course. But they also have a great history of like nationalism and competitive athletics. Like think about how many Brazilian MMA champions they are. I mean, there's so many Brazilian. Roger Gracie just won one FC last night. So there's a new Brazilian champion. Like there's so many Brazilian champions.

He choked out some dude in one FC, which is the Asia version of the UFC, which is getting bigger and bigger. which is the Asia version of the UFC, which is getting bigger and bigger. There's a bunch of really big organizations overseas now that are starting to build up momentum. But if you look at martial arts champions from Brazil, Jesus Christ, there's so many of them. So many in the UFC, so many former champions, so many elite high-level fighters. There's a card next weekend in Brazil, and it's all, like, the killers of the killers. Like, Brazilian champions, Vitor Belfort versus Jacare, Anderson Silva's fighting Uriah Hall.

Oh, my God. It's incredible. There's so much super high-level talent that came out of Brazil. Is Uriah Brazilian? Uriah Faber? Yeah. No, you mean Uriah Hall. Oh brazil is uriah brazilian uriah faber yeah you're right no you mean ryer hall okay uriah hall's black he's from um jamaica i believe oh that big monster dude dude oh yeah he's dark it's cold yeah fucking lightning fast he's one of my favorites that dude is he's such a nice guy too that's the thing about him like he he made some like really heartfelt statement once after one of his fights you know about people getting along and

I was like yeah this guy is like legit like this is really him he's such a nice guy right that's almost been one of the things that held him back like Dana White had criticized him of it he said he's so talented but he's almost too nice fighting I don't think that's true I think he's so talented, but he's almost too nice for fighting. I don't think that's true. I think he just needs more fights, but he's got a big one with Anderson Silva. It's a big crossroads fight. It shows where Anderson's at because if Anderson can get past Uriah, who's one of the best 185-pounders alive right now,

Uriah is a lightning-fast striker. I'm picturing Uriah, and he feels bigger than Anderson Silva. No, he's more muscular for sure. He's built way better. He's probably faster, which is crazy. But, you know, we're talking about Anderson Silva at 40 years old versus Anderson Silva at like 34. But Uriah is, he's like got traditional martial arts skills at a super, super high level. Like he does a lot of stuff like spinning back kicks and wheel kicks and knocks guys out with him, and real high level guys. He hit Gegard Mousasi.

There's Uriah. He hit Gegard Mousasi with a spinning back kick to the face, and it was a fight that we were calling for Fight Companion, and my thoughts on him, I was like, I'm telling you this guy can do things in these explosive movements, and I'm like, I'm so used to seeing people move. I'm so used to seeing the way people throw kicks, the way people throw punches. When someone's movements stand out, like, ooh, Jesus Christ.

Like they've got it honed down to a razor's edge with just lightning precision. It just really stands out. And that's Uriah Hall. Uriah Hall has these movements occasionally where he'll just drop a right hand on someone's chin and you just go whoa just like that guy was not moving like that by the time that punch got to him he had no idea that punch was coming i mean his his ability to close the distance with a shot is so fucking scary so it's an interesting fight in that regard and i don't think it has does it have their age there why are they high in their age were they little girls what kind of shit is that

show your fucking age well that's how why would they have all these different things yeah i was looking for height too oh okay so this is one um this is the stats they have the reach and they have the weight and then they have the height i I was always amazed how Anderson Silva's body does not match his record. Well, Anderson Silva, when he was in his prime, looked a little bit better than that. But his body is a really good body for fighting. Because in fighting, say a guy like Uriah Hall might be able to punch 10 or 15 percent harder than Anderson like who knows I mean he hits really fucking hard. Let's say he can but if Anderson hits him Mm-hmm the 90% that Anderson can come up with is just as good

Right because the clean shots are the most important thing and it doesn't take like a giant bomb to knock you out A giant bomb can knock you out, but it doesn't take a giant bomb to knock you out a giant bomb can knock you out But it doesn't take a giant bomb to knock you out what it takes is a shot You don't see coming and a perfectly play shot and Anderson is the master at perfectly play shots He's the master. He's the ultimate sniper out of all the guys that have ever fought in the UFC He impresses me the most with his ability to land these highlight reel shots on people. Highlight reel. With James Irvin, he caught James Irvin's kick and just caved his face in with a punch.

The guy threw a kick, Anderson caught it, and ba-boom! And you could see the dude had never been hit like that before. He goes down and Anderson just uncorks a couple more on him and opens him up when he fought vitor he front kicked vitor in the face it was like the perfect front kick knockout and it was the first ever front kick knockout in the in the history of the ufc nobody had ever done it before and he did in a high level world championship fight against vitor belford it's crazy because it's it's the first kick you learn in martial arts. It's like the first kick. You learn how to do a front kick.

And everybody goes, ah, that shit doesn't work. You got to go with the roundhouse kick. And Anderson lands it right on his face. Anderson's a free-ass dude. You think he's a back? He's 40. So whatever back is, it's not going to be the same back. But if you look at a guy like Bernard Hopkins,

Bernard Hopkins, who's an incredibly skillful technical boxer, is still, at this day, there's a video of him working out the other day. He was hitting mitts. He looks fucking great. He's 50 years old. He looks fucking great. Bernard Hopkins, right now, at 50 years old,

could get in the ring and school solid 50% of the professional light heavyweights in the world. Schooled them. He would look ugly, but he'd school you. Schooled them. He would hold the shit out of you. Hold the shit out of you. Jab your fucking face off. You know, move in weird ways.

Step on your toes. Upset your balance. Mug you in the corner. Hit you with like short, short hard punches while he's clinching you. Annoy you, get in your head, get you out of your game, frustrate you. Or bomb you out like he did Felix Trinidad. That Felix Trinidad fight, he put on a show with Felix Trinidad.

I was always a big Bernard Hopkins fan, so when he fought Trinidad and fucked him up, for me it was like, I knew it! I was surprised. I thought Felix was the truth, you know? Well, he was. He was for a moment. I don't think he, I don't know how to say it. I don't think he respected Bernard.

I don't think he knew how good Bernard really was. I think he was doing so well. And Trinidad was such a world beater and just such a tough dude. I just, I think he thought he could get through anything. I think, you know, he was one of those guys of those guys that, I'm going to get through everybody. He's been to war before. He's been tagged. Come out and knock guys out.

But Bernard was on another level that night. I've never seen anybody like Bernard. It's not traditional boxing. Somebody who does that doesn't get as far as him. I've never seen somebody and do it that much. Well, he's a master. He's a real master. If you watch his footwork in the ring, it's always measured.

It's always under control. He always knows exactly what he's doing. And when he doesn't know exactly what he's doing, he resets. He's not winging anything. He's not taking any stupid chances. What was that dude he beat for the title at 49 years of age was this fucking young stud this guy was like 32 years old some russian dude bad motherfucker and he dropped him bernard dropped him at 49 years of age and people like

god and then he fought kovalev and that was the fight that showed there's a difference between the highest of the high level right now and where bernard is right now with his life being 49 years old because kovalev was just too much for him and bernard went into a shell and just fought real defensively and tried to survive but kovalev was opening up on him kovalev is fucking scary that guy's the real deal he's a lot of badass fucking russians these days. I know. It must be tough in Russia, right? It's got to be tough.

It's got to be tough in Russia. They're getting all the boxes. This is like the sport where a lot of sports, a lot of poor people come out and they get to the top of it. But you could tell where the poorest people are based on who's the best boxers in the world. It's true. Russia must be rough right now. That's a real good point.

You know, that's how it always worked in America too. It's like that's why Jews were a lot of boxers in the early days of the early part of the 20th century were Jewish. Slappy Maxi Rosenblum. That was a dude. There was a bunch of them, man. You could not have that as a boxing name right now you could be silly you'd be silly but nobody would take you serious slappy maxi one of the top featherweight in the ufc andre feely his nickname is andre touchy feely oh boy he's a weird ass name he's a fun dude he's a fun dude yeah

yeah he has fun with it yeah yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah, man. It's interesting how that works that way. And then it was the Italians. There was a lot of Italians like Rocky Marciano, Rocky Graziano. There's a lot of, you know. There's some Irish. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of Irish, a lot of immigrants. It's immigrants that are, you know, poor people that need to learn how to fight to survive. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Fight to survive, you know. That's one of the reasons why these Russians are so fucking tough, man. They're coming from a harder place.

It's a harder world. And they're just like Kovalev is a straight-up killer. You see it in his eyes when he's in the ring. He ain't scared of shit. He's just going to fuck you up, you know? Yeah, I'm sorry. And then Gennady Golovkin, he's another one. Everybody's scared of that fucking dude.

No, what weight class? I haven't watched boxing in a while. He's 160. It used to be my thing, but. He's a middleweight champ. He fucks everybody up. Damn. He's 100% undefeated, and he's knocked everyone out.

I think maybe he had one fight that went in the distance, or maybe a couple fights that went the distance. But he's on some ridiculous knockout streak in a row. I should know that for sure. Pull that up. Gennady Golovkin, triple G, just a triple G record.

I'm just impressed you can say his name so smoothly. Well, he's got a second name that I can't. If there's a triple G, it's Gennady something, something, something Golovkin. The middle one.

I don't even try with that. It's hilarious. But he's, he's a fucking assassin, man. His name sounds like when you fall asleep on your keyboard yeah and then you wake up and you just see a bunch of letters oh yeah they're all ko's yeah okay unanimous decision there we go and that's way back in

2008 he had unanimous decision win but he's on it's got a couple you a unanimous decision win. But he's got a couple unanimous decisions, three there that I see. So he's on a streak of like, how many KOs in a row? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, there's a lot. 21 or so. 21 KOs.

You know what's funny about this chart? Like to see the flags from the different countries that people he's knocked out. Yeah, it is funny, right? That's a lot of, you know, knocked out a lot of people from a lot of places. He's so next level. He fought Dominic Wade in his last fight. Jesus Christ, man.

He fucked that dude up. He's so next level. So dangerous, man. At one point in the fight, he dropped his hands and he was letting wade punch him oh shit he was just moving his head as wade was punching him and then he uncorks bombs on him he's a terrifying guy can he looks like a little cutie pie like you ever see what he looks like no go to go to a picture of him look at him he's a cutie come on that's a baby he's a baby face assassin he's like the real baby face assassin like that guy looks like a straight-faced assassin. He's like the real baby-faced assassin.

That guy looks like a straight-up cutie. Like a handsome young man. Like an innocent ass. A handsome young man with fine manners. He dresses well. He dresses well. Look, almost a mime. Dressed like a mime, kind of French.

Meanwhile, that dude is probably a direct descendant of the Mongols. That's probably what it is. Like, no bullshit. direct descendant of the Mongols. That's probably what it is. Like, no bullshit. Russians, like Russia, was occupied by the Mongols for 200 years. And a lot of these guys, like Ruslan Provodnikov, who's going to be on the podcast soon with Nick Curzon.

Yeah, they're going to come on together. That should be fun. That fucking dude grew up in, like, Siberia. He was eating raw moose. He ate raw meat until he was, like, 25 years old. He'd never had cooked meat. His family eating raw moose he ate raw meat until he was like 25 years old he'd never had cooked meat his family ate raw moose jesus christ provodnikov is a fucking animal now he looks like he ate raw moose yeah he did but i mean this is a guy who is uh another one probably a direct descendant of the mongols there was so many fucking super warriors

that came out of that dna and you look at a guy like provodnikov i mean he just screams like ancient warrior dna i mean look at him look at his his face and the way he fights you gotta hit that dude with a fucking crowbar to hurt him. He engages in wars with these people. Man, I gotta get back into boxing. That Lucas Matisse fight was insane. Provodnikov and Matisse just teed off on each other.

And you just, Matisse's a brutal knockout puncher. And when he was hitting Provodnikov, you were like, how is he absorbing these shots? He's absorbed shots that Matisse was able to put everybody else away with. Like, look at that shot. Boom.

Matisse, like, it's a weird, like, you look at the guy and you say, okay, obviously looks like he's in shape. He looks athletic, but he doesn't look like a big power puncher, right? Like, if you look at him, he's not like, not built like marvin haggler or mike tyson or something like that he's more smooth and it's it's it just shows you that punching power is a really weird thing and it's not saying that matisse is in any way unfit he's very fit very strong very good athlete but his punching power is almost just like skeletal it like comes from his frame in some sort of a strange

way and there's a bunch of guys that are like that there's this kid in the ufc his name is mike mcdonald and he's like that like go to mike mcdonald this kid is a murderous puncher but if you look at him you you look he looks like uh you know like a regular kid like a regular like athlete yeah some people you expect them when you look at their body, you're like, this person probably can hit hard. Look at this kid. And they don't. He's got a sweet face.

Goofy face. See if you can get a picture of his whole body just standing there. You get a sense of, like, he's obviously a good athlete, but right there is a good example. He's obviously good, but, like, right there. That's a good example. He's obviously a good athlete, but his punching power is disturbing. It's disturbing. Right. Like, he fucking cracks guys with shots, and you see the look on their face.

Like, what in the fuck? What is going on with this dude's hands? He just hits so fucking hard and with so much precision. He's nasty on the ground, too. He's a real threat, this kid. And he's super young. I think he's only like 23. Jesus.

Yeah, he already fought for the title. He lost to Barau in a crazy fight. But a fight where he really got tested. Really showed what he's capable of. But the body thing, it's very strange. What makes a person, you never know. It's weird. Like, punching power is different than almost any other kind of athletic power.

Like, you don't see it coming. Like, if you see someone who has a big ass and fucking giant quads, and they're on the starting block, you're like, I bet that fucking dude can run. You know? But you see a guy like McDonald's, and you wouldn't necessarily go, I bet that guy can fucking punch. Right, right. Whereas Uriah Hall, they're both murderous

punchers, but Uriah Hall, you see it. You go, obviously that guy can punch. Look at him. You'd be more surprised if he couldn't. Yeah. And there are guys like that too, which is weird. Yeah, it's weird. Like, this person should be able to you know. Yeah. It's like seeing a seven foot center, you know. Right. Like, there's these centers in the NBA

like, oh oh he's seven feet and they sucked from the day they were drafted but every team year after year will still put them on the team because he's seven feet maybe this is the year 12 years in when he's gonna do the seven foot shit and they never do it but they make all this money because they built like they should be able to do seven foot shit or or people are built like they're supposed to be able to hit they just can't so do they get a guy like that and they say well we're gonna we're gonna take him in and then we're gonna get our coaches on him we're gonna show this guy how to reach his full potential and then they just don't and then through the season they say oh i see why the other teams dropped him and we're

stuck with him on the bench no you get stuck with him on the bench. No, you get stuck with him on the bench. You bring him in once in a while. With a guy that big, is it just difficult to move their body right? They say that, but Shaq did it. Shaq was, his movement was amazing. Like, almost small forward-like. Really? Some of the shit that he used to do. And Akeem Olajuwon moved well.

And David Robertson moved well there's a lot of there's a lot there was some there's some there's some some uh some like i don't know there's there's a lot of centers that could move so when they say it's tough to move your body i don't get it it is it is rare. Good centers are rare. So I guess maybe it is. But when you see the ones that do it, it makes you look down on the people that can't. If I'm seven feet, I'm thinking I could do some stuff. I could be decent enough. But there's some guys that are seven feet and they really don't do anything except be seven feet. And they really don't do anything except be seven feet. Hmm. Now, is it a benefit just having the big guy there because they can do things and block people and get in the way and make it difficult for the other team to use their offense? Yeah.

It's a mentality. It's like they always say you can't teach height. Okay. That makes sense. And then it was like the 80s and the 90s was like the center game. So everybody just felt more secure with a center, you know? Right. So they would plan their strategy around the tall guy.

Yeah, the tall guy. Yeah, because he can get the ball above people. He has more, like, especially the way they're throwing the ball down at people instead of, like, up and down. Right. He could probably do some stuff as far as, like, get in the way. Yeah. Get his physical body to block people in a way. But sometimes they're not even good enough to do that and then they have to get rid of them for real like because you so they say all right let's get this guy he'll do the least and then they don't

even do the least do you think that's because they're lazy um because it was always easy for them because they were always so big and so like as through their career they were they always had a giant height advantage it It's like being transgender. Like you're a five foot four person born in a seven foot person's body. You know what I'm saying? Like you're not supposed to be there. You're supposed to be doing something else.

You just got stuck with this basketball frame. Like some people just can't do it. So some people, they got stuck with a basketball frame but they don't have a basketball mind or heart yeah or heart yeah you have to like want to move your body in very difficult ways right because i would have been like one of the things you notice about fighters in particular like um you ever seen that guy uh chocolatito fight no so i believe he's a flyweight what weight is he champion I watched him fight the other day.

Awesome boxer. Amazing counter fighter. But so light and so small. Like Mighty Mouse in the UFC is probably a better example. Because Mighty Mouse fights at 125 pounds and he's the best in the world. Like no one can fuck with him. Not just the best in the world at 125. He's the best in the world hands down.

There's no argument anymore. After his last fight where he destroyed Henry Cejudo, everybody just lifts their hands up and goes, He's the best. He's the best in the world hands down. There's no argument anymore. After his last fight where he destroyed Henry Cejudo everybody just lifts their hands up and goes he's the best. He's the best. That's good. But he's 125 pounds and the way he moves. I always wonder could a 200 pound guy move like that? Could a 255 pound

guy move like that? Is it even possible? Like can we get when you look at the super athletes that are in the NFL and I think we can all, the most explosive best athletes are in the NFL. Agreed? Pretty close. I think there's probably some really high level guys in MMA at this point, but I think that overall the most explosive high level athletes are in the NFL. If you can get one of those NFLfl top guys could you teach him to move

like mighty mouse if you started with him at a young age or is it a gravity thing is it that the 125 pound guy he can just do stuff with his joints and his movement that the 260 pound guy just physically his body can't keep up you know you know what the issue is it's like if you're little you know you're little from your little from your from your young person so you you live little you move little right and you act little if you're big then you know you're big and there's certain things you just don't gravitate to doing right it doesn't fit your size or your big. So it's crazy. You almost have to convince,

hypnotize a big dude that you're little and make them like live little. Move like a little person. Move like a little person and get used to it. And then it becomes natural. Like Mighty Mouse moves like I'm little. If I, if I, he fights like if he's fighting a bully in high school.

Like, I can't let that guy grab me. I got to keep moving. Like, a big guy's like, let this motherfucker grab me. You know what I'm saying? I want you to grab me. So they fight big. It's like just a mentality. That's an excellent way of putting it.

That's an excellent. I think you're totally right. I think you're totally right. I think you're totally right. Because we all do things according to just our physical makeup. Sure. But I wonder if you could get a guy at a young age. Do you know the story of Marv Marinovich and Todd Marinovich? I know Todd Marinovich.

Todd Marinovich was a famous football player, and his dad, Marv, was a famous strength and conditioning coach and a football coach. So his dad took Todd from the time he was really little, had him eating only healthy food, no sugar, working out like crazy, putting him through all these drills, and turned him into this super athlete.

But he rebelled because it was just too much pressure and work. He didn't want to do it. He was doing it for his dad, then he wanted to quit. Then he went drugs and unhealthy. Yeah, drugs, unhealthy. He became an artist.

Maybe he's healthy now, I think. Hopefully. But it's interesting. It's an interesting thing. Like this guy grabbed his young son from the time he was a baby and had him doing these strength drills and coordination drills, like raised him with the idea of turning him into this. And the results were amazing.

Yeah, yeah yeah so you wonder like if someone could take a guy like uh herschel walker herschel walker is one of the perfect example yeah one of the best examples because herschel actually fought mma yeah yeah herschel but he fought like a big man he fucked dudes up dude he did in his late 40s and he was legitimately a threat or good um he was very good for the class that he was fighting in. But he was fairly recent to MMA. Right. But a lifelong martial artist.

Like, Hershel Walker, even back in the days when he was in the NFL, had some sort of a black belt in something. Oh, shit. Look at him, man. I think in that picture, he was like 47. Jesus Christ. So he always looked young and good in shape and shit. I don him, man. I think in that picture, he was like 47. Jesus Christ. He always looked young and good in shape and shit. I don't understand what's going on. I mean, that shit doesn't even make any sense.

Because he looks like he's as big as he was when he was playing professional football. There's two lion heads. Two bear heads, yeah. I'll kill you with my bear hands. He's on top of this dude ground and pounded him and on top of that he trained at a world-class gym he went to aka and he trained at American Kickboxing Association which is where that's Tyron Woodley bro don't get racist on me how dare you just mixing up black men yeah you're mixing black people together here how dare you Jamie

how dare you google it's google it's not jamie it's google sorry google's racist but hershel walker when he was um when he was training was training with kane velasquez when kane was the champ um or if kane wasn't the champ he was one of the best in the world i don't i'm pretty sure he was a champ though and he was training with daniel cormier i believe was there at the time, Luke Rockhold, Kyle Kingsbury. I mean, he's training with, like, John Fitch was there. He's training with, like, legit world-class mixed martial artists, legit guys, and he was just fucking doing it like a real pro athlete would do it.

He wasn't doing it like, hey, I'm a celebrity, former football player. I'm just going to kind of take a fight like a Jose Canseco might do. You know what I mean? You ever see some of Jose Canseco's celebrity boxing matches and shit? It's like, come on. He kind of barely did. Not Herschel. Herschel went at it like a real professional martial artist.

And Strikeforce had him fight a few times. He did that Olympic bobsled stuff for a while, too, after. That's right. He just stays active. Yeah. but he's an unbelievable athlete right like he's he's a rare bo jackson type athlete like an outlier an outlier amongst professional outliers yeah so if you could take a herschel walker and train him like get him to a guy like Matt Hume who trained Mighty Mouse. And train him from the time he's a young man, like 15, 14 years old. He could do it. Fuck yeah, he could do it.

He could do it. It's him back in the day. Handsome bastard rocking the strong gold chains. Getting bitches. Getting bitches, showing scars off. Doesn't give a fuck. I heard something like, I forgot how many push-ups he does a day. Oh, something insane.

Yeah, something insane and he still does it. Yeah. Well, I guess if you just keep doing it, your body stays like that. It just requires unbelievable discipline. Yeah, it does, man. You just need to skip days. He's also real weird, man. He has what's called trauma induced multiple personality disorder

oh i believe that's how he describes it but trauma i'm not sure they mean they mean head trauma i think it's more like childhood trauma okay but i'm sure head trauma doesn't help yeah on top of that because for sure there was some head trauma mean, he was one of the greatest football players of all time. I mean, think about, I mean, if you made a list, and I'm not a football fan, but if I know you and you never got arrested and you never raped anybody, you must be pretty fucking awesome. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?

Like if it wasn't some giant controversy where you're involved in like a Ray Rice type situation and the murder or something like that. If it wasn't that and I hear about you. He was so good that the Cowboys traded him for a completely new football team that won three Super Bowls. That's how good he was. That's incredible. That's incredible, yeah.

That's incredible. Like it was crazy when they were going to trade Herschel Walker. It's like, you're going to trade Herschel Walker? But they got a brand new team and a set of young players that ended up being like Their franchise, but he you know, that's how good he was I get all those players here Yeah, it's it's always to me as someone who analyzes athletics, it's always so confusing and and and

Interesting when I see someone who's just so much better than everybody else, right? I cry the fuck is he so much better than everybody else. Like, how the fuck is he so much better? Like, what is it? Right. This is a soccer thing. I'm going to tell you the soccer thing. So you have the NBA, right? Right.

And the NBA is the Basketball League of America. In England, the top league, the soccer version of NBA is called a premiership, right? Premiership? Premiership, yeah. So there's this team named Leicester. Now, the premiership works different than the NBA. The NBA, all the teams stay the same every year. In soccer, there's 20 teams in the league, and the bottom three would go down to the league below at the end of the year.

If you have the least amount of points, the three teams with the least amount go down, and there's a league below where the teams that finish first, second, and third come up. So that's important because Leicester is a team last year that almost got relegated to the league below so they almost got relegated it was like everybody's like this team is going down to the lower division so they they won maybe five or six games in a row towards the end of the season and stayed up right but they're a low budget team they keep the same players and they had to fire their coach because his son did something and they got this other guy named claudio rinieri an old italian coach that used to coach in england with one of the top teams but he never won anything he only

came second so then all year he's coaching leicester and they're winning you know they're winning but at the beginning of every soccer season, you always, the lower teams always win a little. And then there's the championship, like, stages of the season, like the second part of the season, the third, and, like, the final fourth where teams start slipping. But Leicester doesn't slip. They start, and all the players are players from, like, cast-off teamsoff teams and players that no team ever wanted to buy. And then, so then they get into, like, the last seven, eight games of the season. Everybody's like, they're going to start losing. And the team behind them, Spurs, is going to catch them.

But these motherfuckers, like, they gel together in a style that I've never seen before. Like, they're very defensive, but they'll attack you really. If they have these two forwards, like, if you kick the ball out to them, they're fast, and then they'll score, and then they'll just shut the whole shit down. Like, you ain't going nowhere. It don't matter who the fuck you are, you are not going nowhere. And on Thursday, no, on Monday, this this team 5,000 to 1 won the

premiership whoa 5,000 to 1 won the fucking premiership it is fucking crazy all kinds of people had little bets that they won like 50,000 on 10 bucks or 10 pounds or whatever but it cost bookmakers $15 million. Whoa. Because it's like the most impossible sports story. Wow. That's incredible. I love hearing shit like that. But as you were talking, I started getting discouraged.

I was like, I don't know about this soccer project. This soccer project seems like it's going to cost me a lot of paying attention. Start at the top. No, you know what you do? Just pick a team. Get you a good team. I want you to be my mentor. All right.

I got you. Because I've sort of brought you into MMA, brought you to a bunch of fights. Right. I want you to be my mentor and get me into soccer. All right. Because it seems like if I'm going to follow some shit, I should follow some shit the whole world follows. Right.

Like, everybody loves the NFL in the United States. I'm sure it's awesome, but if I'm going to follow someone, I'm going to try to follow soccer. I'm going to give it a shot. Right now, Americans are going crazy. What the fuck is Joe Rogan doing? All this goddamn bullshit. Black Lives Matter. All of a sudden, he's fucking following soccer.

Soccer! Don't worry. There's Black Lives Matter and soccer, too. Some of these countries are racist as shit. I'm sure. They monkey chance to the black players. No.

Monkey chance? Yeah. There's a lot of fascists. What do they do when they broadcast that shit? Do they bring it up? They'll bring it up and they'll like,

the ref will stop the game. Wow. Or sometimes the players will stop the game. They'll get those people out or they'll ban that team and the next time they have to play

like a real game. Like, imagine the Lakers playing San Antonio Spurs in an empty stadium because there was racist chants the last time the game was played at the Lakers. So they just say, you have a blackout game where none of the fans can come as punishment. They do shit like that. Ooh, I like that. Yeah. I like that idea, blackout game.

Yeah. Fuck it. Well, but then people are like, yeah, I made them blackout the game. Yeah. I like that idea. Blackout game. Yeah. Fuck it. Well then, but then people are like, yeah, I made them black out the game. Yeah. I yelled up monkey shit.

Hey, everybody doesn't learn. No, there's a lot of people that just want to fucking flip over the board. Yeah. They don't want to actually play the game. They want to flip over the board. I'll get some type of attention from it.

Of course. Liking it. Yeah. Well, it's like we were talking about before with people don't feel like we're all the same they feel like those people over there playing that game those are just people man yeah they're there it's their dream to do this and they figured out how to do it like you can't be angry at them you should be inspired no it doesn't have anything to do with you

right you know like just being don't be a fucking asshole but people also get so attached to one team versus the other. That's another. Yeah, that's another thing. Giant problem. I like sports because it brings people together. But then at that point, it also separates people too much. Oh, yeah.

People have, there's riots regularly at games, right? I mean, if you looked at all the games that are played between teams all over the world. They have respect now. They fight in the town. Yeah. Outside the world. They have respect now. They fight in the town. Yeah. Outside the stadium. And they throw bottles and shit from the bars and all that shit, or in the town fountain.

They fight over teams. That's so fucking dumb. It's dumb, it's dumb, man. It's hard to believe that that's a common occurrence with football, with soccer, with baseball. Right. There's always fights in the parking lots with the Lakers.

I heard some terrible story about some guy who was wearing the wrong, he was wearing the wrong basketball team shirt, and he's with his son. And these guys at the Lakers games beat the fuck out of him. KO'd him, knocked him out, his head bounced off the concrete. He was in a coma for weeks. He was there with his kid. That happened.

They just beat the fuck out of him because he had the wrong shirt on. That happened to a dude at a Dodgers game, like while ago when the mccourt's used to own the team maybe that's what i'm talking about is that what i'm talking about probably yeah we're raiders thing too and raiders raiders raiders raider fans might knock you out too why are raider fans cunts like why is that a thing because everybody was worried about if the raiders came to los angeles that we would have a bunch of cunts at the game that was a big issue it's just been their culture and everybody just identified with it and accepted it and said, this is who we are.

Is it because the rappers started taking on Raider hats and started wearing Raider hats in the 80s? Is that what brought it around? Nah, they were like that from, I don't know, like it's like there's some teams in Italy that the fans are just fascists. And then they, that's some of the culture. It's hard to tell, but the Raiders seem like they've been through, they've gone through all the routes to have that type of fan base. Right.

You know what I mean? Coming up in Oakland, so even when they moved to L.A. and rappers started joining them, and then now they're back in Oakland. even when they moved to LA and rappers started just joining them. And then now they're back in Oakland. It's like, I don't know. It's just, it's just to have the right temperature for, for ignorance amongst some of their fans.

I think there's something going on with people too, where we want to be united by a common cause, even if that common cause is terrible. I think that's one of the things that's going on with Trump. Like when I see some of these people that are like trump supporters i'm like are you really or are you just in a cunt gang because it seems like a lot of them are in a cunt gang like they're wearing sunglasses they're being dicks they're walking they're they're honking at these people that have bernie sanders signs

have you seen this and i forget what city it was in where Bernie Sanders wound up winning. And Trump was, but what was the big one that he won recently? Was it Indiana? Indiana. So he's driving by. And these Mexican-Americans are on one side of the road. And they're fucking screaming at this guy who's in a Donald Trump supporting truck. And they're screaming shit and hurling insults back and forth at each other. And I'm watching this.

I'm going, what are we seeing here like we see in gangs form because it seems like they're not really talking about Trump's policies they're not talking about his credentials they're not talking about his his ability to lead and the way he carries himself it's almost like he's their guy like they decide this is my guy I know I want to change their mind. This is the guy for douchebags. And then it's discerning to people. It's concerning because it makes you think. There's so many of us, so many of us, that when something can unite us, even if it can

unite us in a bad way, like the fucking Heaven's Gate cult where they all cut their dicks off and fucking wear purple sneakers on. A lot of them did. For real? They castrated themselves. Oh yeah oh shit i didn't know that part yeah it was part of what that guy wanted people to do and he had well he was gay he didn't like being gay and he was trying to like free himself from his sexuality but at least one or two of his other like big people in that group also castrated themselves they couldn't just do the thumb like the yakuza does what's wrong with them i think they do pinkies, right?

Pinkies, yeah. They do a joint at a time. Whenever you fuck up, it's a joint at a time. A chunk. Do you remember that Trump painting I showed you a few weeks ago? Someone painted him with a small dick. The girl who painted it got attacked by some Trump supporters, and they punched her in the face and yelled, Trump 2016

and ran off. They punched her in the face? That's what she's claiming. I mean, I don't know if it was on tape or anything. Well, you don't. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It happened here in L.A. It's a shyness. They found her where she lived based off of some Facebook information and found her when she came outside.

Jesus Christ. That's what she's claiming, though, too. I mean, it might not be true, but I don't know. I don't want to say, but it probably is. It's hard to tell, and it's unfortunate that you even have to say that. But she does have tattoos on her face. You know? I mean, who knows?

I would like to believe, I would be more happy if she made it up. But ultimately, you've got to kind of have to believe someone like that. That's sad, because that was a cool painting. They shouldn't be so angry. why would they be so angry if trump was cool he'd buy that shit yeah look you know like your mormon joke yeah yeah exactly yeah did you see the recent thing that he has on on his on his twitter i retweeted it yesterday i was like he's eating taco bowl yeah i saw that i love mexicans i knowics. Hispanics, yeah. He's out of his fucking mind. Like, this is madness. He doesn't care.

He's flaunting it. Yeah. It's almost like he's reaching out and tuning into the frequency of those kind of guys. Right. Like, these, and they're out there. The thing is, I'm not opposed to someone like him trying it out. Happy Cinco de Mayo. Best Taco Bowls are made in trump tower

grill i love hispanics like what the fuck i love hispanics and he's got that evil old school the man look and someone pointed out if you click on the the picture itself that there's a photo of his ex-wife marla maples in a bikini in the lower corner of a magazine he's eating his fucking lunch on. I wonder if he just eats, like, he has the noose clippings of his victims, and he piles it on his desk, and that's how he eats. Why else would he be eating on top of a pile of papers? Those are trophies. Like, he's a trophy hunter. Instead of, it's probably all people he's

burned in business deals and fucked over and you know and smashed in competition well it's like his favorite stories of people he's crushed crush your enemies have them driven before you and hear the laminations of the women that's what he's doing he's he's eating dinner on a pile of skulls the women that's what he's doing he's he's eating dinner on a pile of skulls they're just print with his bent thumbs up with his um fucking american lapel pin american flag lapel pin it's kind of hilarious i'm so torn because as a person who thinks that the system that we have is so fucking absurd and it needs to change this is one of the best ways to get it to change yeah this is like this is proof that you're right about that. Yeah.

Well, it just shows you. Like, you can't have a popularity contest to run the government. It should be more than that. It shouldn't be this easy. And it shouldn't be an electoral college, and delegates shouldn't be able to decide who they're going to vote for despite what the state votes for. There shouldn't be superdelegates.

All this is craziness. We have an antiquated, nonsensical system that was developed back when people wrote with feathers. Well, you have to really fucking think about that. And for whatever dumbass reason, we continue to use the same thing. And anytime anybody talks about reforming it or changing it or updating it

or coming out with new models, everybody freaks the fuck out. Like it's some sacred fucking scroll that Jesus wrote. We found the clay pot. We've updated everything. Why can't we update this? It's stupid as fuck. And the only reason why it's in place at all, like this electoral college and representative

government is because you couldn't talk directly to the leaders. You couldn't talk directly to the government. It was too hard. But we have all these new tools in place and the idea that we're not using them like we're not using the internet we're not using social media we're not using our instantaneous ability to communicate with each other to find out what we actually want as as a collective group the fact that that's and also we should agree there should be like parameters where things can't get passed there should be like parameters where we all agree okay we cannot set aside any rules or create any laws that intentionally victimize certain

segments of the population right we all agree on that yeah yeah like we make a new constitution type thing we all agree on that everyone agrees on that right right so when anything comes up when anything comes up whether it's about gay marriage or whether it's about fucking whatever it is, you look at that and you go, okay, is this a law that would victimize intentionally certain aspects of our population? And if so, we can't do it, especially if they're not doing anything to anybody else. We should have like rules like that. Like we could update and make a real simple new constitution that would be way better. a real simple new constitution that would be way better and we'd keep most of this shit in the original. Most of the ideas are freedom of speech but update it to represent what we're dealing with today because what's free speech is today is very different than standing on a box and yelling into a courtyard without a microphone.

That's what people were doing, writing something down and not being worried about being killed for it. We all agree on that kind of stuff but we should figure out like how what what are these how many of these laws are good how many of these laws make any fucking sense how many of those laws are just we just have because they've been around forever and nobody examines them you just have some really smart people making some really bad laws on purpose like you're like when you said talking about laws that doesn't affect a certain segment not making laws that affect a certain segment of the society like the ones that we have now that exists that

do it that does hurt segments of society were done on purpose but they're just done so slickly yeah it's just it's just tough to get it's just, it's just tough to get, it's just some bad people in the wrong places right now. Yeah. Well, there's just too much money involved in making decisions. That's the big issue. The big issue is there's all these gigantic groups of people with immense amounts of money and they can gain more money by influence people's decision making that are in judgment or that are in positions of power and that's our real problem our real problem is these giant groups of people call them whatever you want call them corporations call them you know whatever call them the banks call them whatever it is they have the ability

to influence the decision making of the people that are in power. And whether it's through fear, intimidation, manipulation, or straight-up bribing, there's a system that's in place that's very difficult to buck. That's why I find it intriguing if Donald Trump gets in. I don't find it intriguing because I like what he's saying and that I like this crazy character that he's doing. What I find intriguing is it doesn't seem to fucking matter who the president is in

any way other than socially like socially it seems to matter like i think one of the best things about having obama in office was that he was a guy who was pretty liberal on most things as opposed to like the eight years we had to deal with like scary conservative bush and don Donald Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft. They were scary people. John Ashcroft covered the breasts of a statue. Was it in the White House? No, not the White House. Was it at the Pentagon?

No. I forget what the statue was, but they put a drape over the breasts of a statue that had been exposed forever. the breasts of a statue that had been exposed forever. Ashcroft was the guy who went after Tommy Chong because Tommy Chong's son was selling bongs. And so he went after Tommy Chong saying that if you don't go to jail, I'm going to put your whole family in jail. So Tommy Chong had a lineup.

That was all Ashcroft. Operation Nice Dreams is what they were doing. It was a sting operation. Justice Department covers partially nude statues because of Ashcroft he was a scary scary guy and these are the this is an example of the people wrong people in the in the places where they shouldn't be because they're out of control well it also heightened um our suspicions of uh conspiracy theories and hysteria in this country because we saw like really dangerous people that were running the show right like a guy like him is fucking dangerous a guy like

rumsfeld who pushed um aspartame like that's how aspartame is legal it all came out of rumsfeld like he's he was one of those directly responsible for making aspartame illegal and avoiding all the information that pointed to the fact that it's probably like super fucking bad for you. It's just fucked up that we didn't do anything about it. No. We just like wrote it out. Well, we had to. I mean, we didn't know what we even could do then. It would be really interesting to see what would happen if the Bush administration was in office today

with the current ability to communicate about things. Because that's where it's really crazy. From 2000 to 2016 is a different world It's a different world and towards the end of the Bush administration became more and more Preposterous more people like what in the fuck is going on to the point where they went out stealing money Remember when they went out and gas prices went up to like fucking five bucks a gallon and everybody's like what the fuck is going on Right. It just felt like they went out stealing money they're just like look before obama comes in office we're just gonna suck as

much money out of this bitch as we can let's just go hard you know just ridiculous my question is what is money good question you know what is money and then and then the money that we lost during the recession it wasn't burnt in a fire it wasn't like like that money went somewhere so where the fuck is that money that they had to get more money to replace that money like somebody has that money and spending that money so it's not like it went through a vacuum and it'll never come back like so it's just so they never teach you in school so you don't know you don't think about it but where the fuck well it's voodoo it's agreed upon voodoo yeah it's agreed upon voodoo i mean that's really what it is

we have all the same amount of stuff right we have the same amount of minerals we have the same amount of raw materials we have the same amount of people we have the same amount of land we have all the same stuff but somehow there's no money right whereas two months ago everybody was rolling in dough right that's a sign of someone fucking you yeah he's like man i don't know what happened we lost all the goddamn money it's crazy well hey y'all take care and we're real sorry it worked out this way we gotta get going the recession was one of the craziest things like there's like they came on the news that we're broke all the money's gone and everybody just started acting broke yeah everybody was just like broken laying off people they were broke y'all yeah and it's like and then they said it's things are getting better yeah i could feel it getting

better feel that feel like it's getting better i saw something that said that the 150 000 jobs were added to the economy but unemployment stayed the same The same rate, but they added a hundred fifty thousand jobs like what is the rate based on? And then someone else told me that the rate is not based on people stop looking the rate is only based on people claim unemployment Yeah, like there's way more unemployment than that. It's just yeah Meanwhile easiest time to live ever meanwhile easiest time to live ever everybody bitching about shit like it's just you could take some dude from the depression and put him in america today and be like what the fuck are you complaining about no soup lines no one's starving look how big everybody is yeah they would be like everybody in the depression days they weigh like 110 pounds it's hilarious dudes

were tiny they'd be like seeing all these giant people with McDonald's fucking falling out of their pockets. Look at all the food these fucking people have. All you got to do is wait by a garbage can. Yeah. Poor people are fat today. You know how crazy that is? It's true, right? Yeah, it's true.

I mean, back then you were starving. You were terrified. Yeah. People like legitimately were worried about not having something to eat. Right. I read this book about this guy named Danny McGurdy. Danny McGurdy is like a famous depression era pool hustler who traveled across the country during like the darkest days of the depression and would hustle from town to town and gamble with guys and make money. Like barely get by but was a alcoholic and just

wrote wrote a bunch of crazy stories about all his times but there was times where he's begging people for food like he was starving he just showed up at someone's house and was begging him for food and the guy comes out and gives him a bowl of sausages and shit and just you realize like there there were times in this country and by the way back, no one was telling them everything was going to be okay. There was no Oprah on TV. There was no positive thinking. There was no mind coaches on late night infomercials. I'm going to give you the tools to achieve your greatness.

It was none of that. They were just almost animalistic, traveling around in boxcars. traveling around in boxcars. And this book was really intense, man, because this guy was talking kind of with shame about how he had broken down a couple of times and was just asking people for food. He goes, I didn't have any other options. I had to beg people for food.

And you realize, yeah, that's a different time than today. Right, because people are just out there doing that. Well, you know, there's way more charity today than ever ever before but i think also we understand that a lot of the people that we're seeing that are out on street corners and you know begging they have mental problems yeah i mean i'm sure they did back then too right but i think back then there were probably more people who were like legitimately broke yeah and and didn't have the information didn't understand like where are all the jobs where's going what's what's the economy what is that you can't google it like so if you were a 35 year old man who's essentially illiterate

and you were a laborer your whole life and then all of a sudden the jobs dried up you had no grasp of why or how to fix it or who was going to change it so any politician who stood up and started yelling things about immigrants or about I mean that's essentially what happened to Hitler Hitler rose to power because Germany was you know bad economic place and this guy came along and said these motherfuckers are ruining it for us and everybody's like see explain the yeah they all just jumped on yeah he was so charismatic, too. That's another scary thing about a guy that's really charismatic, that can unite people for a cause, even if it's a bad one.

You know what's crazy about, I went to a, what do they call it, like an opera? What's the thing when they have the conductor? Yeah, it's an opera. It's an opera. Music, symphony? Yeah, symphony. The thing when they have a conductor. Well, the opera's when they sing. The opera's when'm hot box orchestra yeah i'm hot box i don't know

if i'm saying that right hot box and drill hot box and it's real y'all there's a lot of people don't believe and i was uh watching the conductor and uh there's a lot of jewish people there and you know the conductor's doing this shit and if if you turn off the music, it looks like you're watching Hitler. Really? Yeah, because the conductor has the same motions as Hitler, you know, at an opera. Like the way he's directing the band. Someone should make a split screen. Yeah.

Yeah, Hitler was real animated, right? Yeah, he's really animated and moving his arms. Isn't it interesting, when you stop and think about that, is that we don't like that from a president. We don't like it. And it's one of the things that sank Howard Dean. Said Howard Dean got caught screaming. Remember that?

Mm-hmm. We're going to the White House. Ah! Yeah. And it was over. It was over. It was over over it was like a bad thing yeah we don't want anyone yelling we don't want anyone is when you see hitler in those speeches that fucking dynamic way of talking that scares

the shit out of everybody today that was that was good for back then you could you could reach people back then because people he's the anger that everybody was feeling. Well, in a way, that's where people have a legitimate beef with how Trump is behaving. Because although it might be effective in getting people to pay attention to him, it's very dangerous in the doors it opens up. As far as getting people to unite. Like the shit he said. I was on the phone with the president of Mexico. And he said, who do you think is going to pay for that wall?

And I said, you're going to pay for it. We're not going to pay for it. Oh, yes, you are. And the fence just got 10 feet taller. And the whole audience cheers. Like that's like a, I'm paraphrasing. I fucked up his speech. But the idea that he would yell that out, the fence just got taller.

So you're going to make a fence taller than it needs to be right so that you spite this person like is this is this a normal behavior pattern for a leader of the greatest army the world has ever known right that seems crazy plus in a especially in a world where where mexicans who smuggle stuff across the border build tunnels yeah including they smoke smuggle people through on the tunnels. So good luck building your wall. Yeah. Your wall will never affect anything. Yeah.

They don't go over. They don't go over. They have all these secret tunnels, like every documentary or even Sicaro. Yeah. It's just all tunnels. Yeah. Apparently that's real too. Yeah.

And your president is like talking about building a wall he he sounds dumb as shit yeah you're president to be how are you going to find all those tunnels yeah do you know how much square miles you're dealing with and how deep they go in especially when you look at like the guys got out el chapo they went a mile in yeah a mile underground from everything is underground. Like, the construction noise that you're making to build a wall helps them to dig tunnels. Yeah. At the same time.

You're smothering the sound. It's so stupid. They're like the best tunnel builders ever. Yeah. If you really think about it. The best tunnel builders in the game. Who's built more secret tunnels than Mexican drug dealers? Fucking nobody, man.

Nobody. Is this El Chapo's tunnel? I was looking at that, but I just typed in just generic tunnel. There's a lot of them. Drug tunnels? Yeah. There's a ton of them, man. They just keep digging them.

But it's so fascinating that there's this border. We have this line. And if you could dig a hole and pop out on the other side you sell drugs But it's so weird like what a weird Fucking thing that we've done. We've made lines on the ground of the earth Yeah, and there's no difference between the people on either side and the fact that they speak different languages But they're just people and there's a lot of each people on the other side my fucking parents live in Mexico man Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah

Mexicans live in America. Yeah, you know a lot of my friends are from I know a lot of people from Mexico a lot Like I know I probably know 20 or 30 people who were born in Mexico. So we integrated right obviously There's no difference between us other than culture and language, right? But we still have this crazy line. Like, you can't come over. And you guys are fucked. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You were born into a worse system than us.

We can't let you over here. I know you want to get better, but fuck off. Fuck you. No, if you get better over on this side, if you're born in Phoenix, oh, you missed it by a mile. See, if you landed in Phoenix, if you came out of your mother's pussy in Phoenix, you're gold. Dude, didn't you get fucking Medicare and all that good shit? You're in the Obamacare.

But if you're born a mile the other way, fucksville. Yeah. What? That's so crazy. That doesn't make, like, logically, I understand there's a limited amount of resources. I understand there's got to amount of resources i understand there's got to be some pragmatic decisions it's very unfortunate but what we really have to do is help mexico get back on their feet exactly but really what it should be is there should be no

mexico there should be no united states there should be no canada there should be the planet earth right that's really what it should be like these ideas are fucking stupid they're like soccer clubs we're like little soccer well those things make sense they make more sense but i'm no but i'm a thousand percent with you it's like it's all there's enough resources in the world yeah if everybody shares in white right for everything to be fine well both you and i are a direct result of immigration. My parents were the first generation. They came from, or they were born in America, but their parents, my grandparents Is that how it works? I'm third generation,

right? Because my parents were second generation. Because my grandparents were first generation Americans when they moved to America. They weren't born in America. How does that work? First generation. So I'm second generation. So I'm second generation. So I'm second generation.

So just two generations ago, all of my family came from Italy and Ireland. All of them. Everyone. My grandfather on my father's side came from Ireland. My father or my grandmother on my father's side came from Italy. My grandmother and my grandfather on my mother's side came from Italy. Everybody came from another country all during the same time period. So they were all like immigrants.

They came over here. And this is why the United States is so interesting because there's so many different kinds of people here. But there's just too many of us and it's too awesome. This experiment was too badass. So hilarious. Mexico. I don't know what happened in Mexico. I don't know what went wrong. They got cut off. Is that what it is? I don't know what happened in mexico i don't know what went wrong they got

cut off is that what it has i know people don't want to share man people just want mine yeah mine all mine i wonder how much of what mexico is right now is a direct result of the spanish invasions like i wonder when something happens like during like the aztec days and there's some crazy takeover and the Spanish language gets introduced to Central America and even North America. I mean, most of California, what we call California, used to be Mexico. when you find out the atrocities that were committed with the Aztecs and the invaders and the introduction of horsebacks, I mean, people riding horseback, that was all during Cortez, right? And the people before him was all the Europeans that had brought over horses. Just think about all that chaos that happened.

They changed the language of the country. I mean the Big it's me saying Mexico was essentially Native Americans, right? That's why I like the Mayans they really resemble like a lot of Native Americans Well, we think of as Native Americans and when you look at there's like a bunch of different styles of Mexican like their appearance Right. You've got like your Canelo Alvarez. You've got like was real. He's an outlier He's a rare one, but you've got like Oscar de la Hoya Who's that like handsome Spaniard version of Mexico right right and then you got like real? Brown looking dudes that look like Native Americans that are also

Mexican that are like really dark and you go with that guy looks like a mayor American Indian what we consider a Native American because there's like that's what it is it's they were introduced like the Spanish language and all these different people from Europe interbred with all the people that are here and they created what is Mexico that's an hilarious picture because it's like who drew that like they didn't even look like that like those those are hot Instagram tricks chicks Version of that those supposed some of them are supposed to be men. Oh for real

Yeah, they're just covering their dicks. Some of them are supposed to be men see that one's got his up transgender What's going on in this photo? Well think these people like native americans used to keep their hair long i mean that's what it's depicting you know when you think of native americans and you think of like cowboys versus indians they all have long hair right right well i think that that's what these people were encountering back then and i mean it was a fucking genocide man i mean it was essentially just a slaughter fest. They killed so many fucking people. They stole gold.

They came over on horseback. They were considered gods. Nobody knew what it was to ride a horse. Imagine a guy comes over for the first time. They land in a boat. They get off the boat, and they have horses and swords, and they start fucking chopping everybody up. Do you think that was...

They probably had horses, right? And had seen horses or maybe? No, no, they didn't. They did not have horses. The horses were introduced. Horses were introduced to North America by the Europeans. There was horses in North America millions of years ago, but they went extinct.

I'm pretty sure. I'm almost positive of this. There was a type of horse that lived like in the Pleistocene or something like that, and they went extinct. But when—yeah, find that out. That's interesting. When were horses first introduced to North America? But horses being wild, like wild horses, is a relatively recent phenomenon, like over the last few hundred years in North America. It came with Columbus in 1493.

There you go. His second voyage to America, Spanish horses representing Icalabalos, Cabalos? Cabalos were brought back to North America, first in the Virgin Islands, and in 1519, they were reintroduced on the continent. In modern-day Mexico uh from where they radiated through the american great plains hmm yeah see man i feel bad for the horses just being on a boat that long yeah no shit right i wonder how many of them survived yeah it's a long ass trip i wonder how they did that because that was months and months at sea yeah you had to have the right amount of

food people getting scurvy and shit I bet it's probably easier to bring hay than it is to bring anything. Shit. You know, when you think about it, hay, you can stack it up nice and dense.

Yeah. But horses eat a lot of fucking hay. Yeah, and like, you have to clean up after them and they're on a boat

restricted. all over the place. Like, that makes the boat trip even worse than I imagined it in the first place. Yeah, because then,

the horse is on board. They're gonna get off the boat and they haven't run or walked at all in months. Their legs are going to be all fucked up. Yeah. I was just thinking, I was looking for not a picture, but a representation of it. Because in Columbus, where I'm from, they have a replica of the Santa Maria, which is one of those boats.

It's not very big at all. Yeah, they have a scale. Maybe 20 or 30 people could comfortably be on it for a long period of time. So I don't know where the hell you would put animals too where is it just on the river whoa like and right in downtown columbus how big is it like if you had a guess pretty big uh how many feet long 60 50 60 that's it i don't i i'm trying to guess in my head that's 20 yards yeah it's not that big i'll pull a picture of it that's insane that's 20 yards that's. That's like what you shoot when you're practicing with a bow to tune it in before you start backing up.

Those little things change the world so much. The scale of those things to how much they change the world is fucking crazy. That's nothing. That's nothing. How big do you think that is? That's nothing. That's small as fuck, dude. That's so interesting, Ian. The way you just explained that. That's small as fuck, dude. That's so interesting, Ian.

The way you just explained that. That's like a nuclear bomb. Three of those. Three of those. Fucking A, man. Boy, you just nailed it. You just nailed it. Those things changed the world.

Three of those fucking things. I mean, changed everything. Those three were like the seed that planted North America. They came over here. Explosion. And it became the Empire State Building. Yeah. Seattle Tower.

What's that tower? Needle. Space Needle. Yeah. Space Needle. Brought lots of murder. Oh. Diseases.

Lots of diseases. Genocide. Rape. Yeah. All sorts of groovy shit. It's crazy. It's crazy when you think. And iPhones.

Well, eventually. of groovy shit. It's crazy. It's crazy when you think iPhones and I well eventually eventually turns into iPhone Yeah, I wonder if iPhones would have existed if we just stayed in Europe probably not see that's what I think one of the things That I think is really important about like having an asshole as a president for a brief brief respite We have a chance to rethink this whole thing is I think I think we have to get outraged before things change and we have to realize that the system is just fucking retarded maybe he does too maybe look let's let's give him the benefit of the doubt right you're talking about a guy who's obviously incredibly wealthy and obviously incredibly successful right maybe he is sick of it all himself right maybe he is one of the guys who's actually contributed I mean look, that fucking guy paid Hillary to come to his wedding. Yes.

Okay? Hundreds of thousands of dollars. That's all it took, and she showed up. I mean, this is a guy that's been deep, deep, deep in the system, handed out money to these motherfuckers. And then finally he went, fuck you. He went, fuck you. I'm going to run this thing. Right.

And they're like, there's no way. There's no way, Donald Trump. We've looked at the numbers. Impossible. Everybody else has dropped out. They've all given up. I mean, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are neck and neck, right? Except for in delegates, where she's quite a bit above him.

But she still doesn't have enough to win. Like, it's close enough to, it's like, it's weird. It's like weirdly close, where you have to look at it and people, Bernie doesn't stand a chance. Mathematically, he's already eliminated but then people say well what if hillary gets indicted for one of the two criminal investigations she's currently involved with so he just sticks around what if people find out about this fucking email thing that it's even worse than we thought what if people find out this what if they find out that what if there's some dirt what if there's some this it's it's fucking exhausting it's

exhausting but meanwhile this fucking trump guy is sitting pretty just waiting for whoever gets most beat up by this fucking campaign on the democratic side they're beating the shit out of each other so they're going to come through it whoever's going to come through is going to be all fucked up it's going to have it's like having a uh mma tournament one guy wins by a quick knockout in the first round the other way it goes through a three-round war trump just ran through someone anderson silva style and so now so now like hillary and fucking bernie sanders are like mickey ward and aturo gatti just beating the shit out of each other and we have to wait to see who

emerges what a strange strange strange time it's crazy man i i'm like like you said it and i've been thinking it you said it last week i think when we was at the show about you're more afraid of crews than then he scares me and i'm glad he's out yeah i'm glad he would have been the worst choice and trump i have a feeling if he could fool people and do this just to win that he might actually just be doing it just to win that's what we become a different person that's our hope right but that's our hope but if he did become a different person i wouldn't even be surprised because it's it's kind of almost typical him right you know what i mean yeah i don't know man i don't have any interaction with him but i do know that that Jeff Ross worked with him on The Roast,

and he said he was very nice and very reasonable. And one of the things that Jeff Ross said is, hey, when the camera turns to you and you're not laughing, it kind of looks bad. Like, you should just enjoy it. Like, don't be upset that these guys are making fun of you. Just laugh along. It'll be great for you. And he said Trump thought about it.

He goes, you know what? You're right. You're right. Like, he's not an asshole all the time. Like, it's a character it's a character. It is definitely a character. It's like a wrestling character WWE style yeah exactly It's a WWE character. I just I don't know him you know I don't buy any of this I don't buy Ryan Seacrest. I don't know that guy. I don't know Donald Trump I mean, I would like to get high with Ryan Seacrest if I was really going on in there

Yeah, I don't know you should tell him come on I would like to get high with Ryan Seacrest and find out what's really going on in there. I don't know. You should tell him to come on. What you see, look at it. What's in his hand? A cell phone? Oh, he's going to shave his head. Is that what it is?

Yeah. A shaver? Look at Vince McMahon. It's hilarious. As if somebody's going to be, like, I've seen. They shaved Vince McMahon's head? Oh, that's hilarious. Vince McMahon's face was more fearful than somebody about to get beheaded by ISIS. Is that Bobby Lashley?

That's Bobby Lashley, right? Bobby Lashley is fighting MMA now. He has to fight in like these weird Indian casinos so they don't test him. Oh, shit.

That's hilarious. So there's a rumor going around, Joe. I saw something the other day that Floyd Mayweather's team has been trademarking Floyd 50 or something like that, saying that he might be coming out of retirement. Right, I heard about this. This rumor hit today that his potential opponent might be Conor McGregor. Oh, my God.

In a boxing match at T-Mobile Arena in Vegas. Oh, my god. In a boxing match at T-Mobile Arena in Vegas. Oh my god. I think Conor McGregor's a very good MMA fighter. I think if Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather fight in MMA, Conor McGregor will fuck him up. He will fuck him up. Floyd will get the shit kicked out of him. He will kick his fucking body senseless. He will kick his legs.

Floyd will be debilitated inside of one round 100 and if connor decides to take him to the ground i guarantee you floyd mayweather can and connor's no world-class wrestler he's no ncaa champion he's no olympic gold medalist guarantee you floyd mayweather cannot stop him from taking him to the ground and if connor gets him to the ground he's going to mount him and cave his fucking face in. Or choke him or break his arm or do whatever he wants to do. But, in a boxing match, I can't imagine

a world where Floyd Mayweather doesn't fuck him up. In a boxing match, I think Floyd Mayweather is arguably the greatest boxer of all time. If you look at his accomplishments, who he's been able to beat, how he shuts everyone's offense down, he's a more boring version of what a lot of Bernard Hopkins does,

and he does it in a more slick, skillful way with rapid reflexes, and he relies on speed and movement and just a deep, deep, deep understanding of boxing. He's just so much better. And if people don't know, if you think you're really good and then you get in there and you box a guy like that, he will fucking expose the shit out of you. He will expose the shit out of you. It's just, it's a different animal, man. I mean, who knows, man?

Look, one of the things we know about Conor is he has a ridiculous belief in himself and he has unbelievable power. One of the things we know about Floyd is he's 39, I think. Yeah, yeah. Is that all it is? Yeah, that's all I've seen on here, yeah. So when a guy turns 39, you never know. I mean, for every guy like Bernard Hopkins,

there's a bunch of guys who the wheels just fall off, and all of a sudden they can't take a punch anymore, and they can't fight anymore, they don't move good anymore. But I can't imagine a world where he's not light years past connor with boxing skill i just is there i think these guys are thinking about money oh yeah more than more than like a result the money will be giant and they probably and they probably figure out a way where both of them don't lose or something like that i don't think they're going to do that i think they're going to really fight i don't i can't imagine that either one of them would be willing to negotiate with the other one

while thinking that they might get double-crossed. You know, like, nah, I don't buy that. Because remember with Victor Ortiz and Mayweather? When Victor Ortiz was doing some dirty shit to Mayweather, and Victor Ortiz apologized, and Floyd Mayweather just stepped to him and sucker-punched him in the face and KO'd him? Do you remember that? Watch this.

Here, pull that up because it's kind of hilarious. Because there's no deals being made, and not in this world. This is a world of competitive boxing. Yeah, I'm only saying that because one's an MMA guy. Watch this. Victor Ortiz gets warned because he kept headbutting and getting really dirty. And so he goes to touch hands look at this boom bang he goes to touch hands like yo i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry bing

bang ha ha i mean it's hilarious that's the real world of boxing mayweather just knocked him the fuck out he just he thought they were gonna like touch gloves and be buddies and then get back after it. And Mayweather's like, bitch, pop. He hit him with a left hook that he never saw coming. Straight right hand. That's a wrap. And I just think that the skill level in straight boxing that Floyd Mayweather has,

it's very difficult to understand why you're just looking at, look, he's touching him here. Look at this. Bing, bitch. He even had a bitch look on his face. Ortiz is looking at the look at his face he's like bitch he even is like he even said bitch bang yeah look at this bank chin hey what is he doing boom that's a wrap and that was a wrap for victor ortiz's career really essentially is there is there another fight to bring floyd out of retirement that he's on right now?

Sure, Pacquiao. Pacquiao's the big fight. Especially since Pacquiao just beat Timothy Bradley. If Pacquiao decided to really ramp it up, I think he still can get a lot of people excited about him. He had a shoulder injury, he had his shoulder repaired, but obviously it was great in the Bradley fight. He looked awesome in the Bradley fight. He's a beast. I think that could be a real fight.

But I also think that Floyd Mayweather versus Conor would generate insane amounts of money. Insane. The hype would just be fun to watch. The 24-7 they would make would be great TV. Who knows, man? Who fucking knows? I don't think so, though. I don't think he can. I would imagine, unless the UFC

is involved... They'd have to let him out of contracts or pay to get him out of contracts. Exactly. Or pay to get him out. And I can't imagine that they would be willing to do that. And I can't imagine that they would let him fight Floyd Mayweather. Dana and Lorenzo and Frank are serious boxing fanatics. They know a lot about boxing. Could there be a cross promotion in some way?

Like have the fight on a UFC card? If everybody can get a piece. It could happen, but I wouldn't throw a fighter to the lions like that. Like, I just don't. Look, I could be wrong. I'm no fucking clairvoyant. I don't really know what's going to happen in a fight. But I think Mayweather is a ghost.

I think you go to punch where Mayweather is, and Mayweather's not there anymore. And he's popping you with jabs and slowly getting you frustrated and setting traps. And the next thing you know, he's uncorking shots on you. Who the fuck knows? But who knows? Maybe Conor McGregor, if he went to straight boxing, would be even more successful than he is as an MMA fighter. Because his best knockouts were with punches. I mean, his left hand is a fucking piston.

He has a nasty left hand. He fucks a lot of guys up, but is he fucking guys up that are just not at the level of boxing as say a Timothy Bradley or a Maidana or, you know, Juan Manuel Marquez, the guys who... He is though. And, and, and they're distracted by training for other types of things. Right, right, right. For the ground game. Right. For Muay Thai.

Yeah. And it's like Mayweather's just focused on hands. Yes. You know what I mean? And he's a master at it. Yeah. Like a straight up master. In an MMA fight, it wouldn't even be close. Right.

It would not even be close. Connor would kick his body apart before Mayweather even got close to him. I think his understanding of the distance, there's no way Mayweather would understand the distance. Conor would hit him with spinning back kicks to the body. Mayweather would crumble. Conor would knee him in the body in a clinch. It would be awful.

He would kill him. He would kill him in an MMA fight. He's much bigger, too. Conor really struggles to get down to 145. He's a big fuck. I just think in an mma fight it would be disastrous for mayweather but it could be equally disastrous in a boxing fight for connor the way yeah the only thing that makes me think that maybe connor could survive is

he's a fucking super dangerous puncher just like my donna was or my donna is even though my donna is a world-class boxer my donna is the guy who who beat Adrian Broner. Maidana's a serious, vicious power puncher. And he's real aggressive and wild. Makes me think, like, maybe if Conor went straight into boxing, maybe he could have been a world-class boxer. Maybe he could have been, you know, some real Ricky Hatton-type challenger. Entirely possible. But even Ricky Hatton got fucked up by Mayweather, man.

When Ricky Hatton was Ricky Hatton. When he was in his prime. I don't think Ricky Hatton should have quit after that fight. Hey, man, he liked to do blow. Yeah. He wanted to get fat. He was having a party. Get fat and do blow.

Well, he did have one comeback fight and just didn't like how he performed. And I think he actually wound up winning. But he decided that it was over. That he had lost it. I think- Got a beat out of him? It could be that, but it also could be, well, Pacquiao really fucked him up. Pacquiao hurt him bad.

When Pacquiao knocked him out, he knocked him dead. Mayweather fucked him up, but when Pacquiao fucked him up, it was like, whoa, that was a bad knockout. Man, he's got those gigantic tree trunk legs, those spring. He's got a calf. His calf muscles are like four by four springs. He just jumps at you and uncorks left hands on your chin. And when he did that to Ricky Hatton, he just went to sleep.

Yeah, that's like the second British hope that that happened to. They were cleaning up in Europe, and then they came out here remember prince nazim muhammad muhammad yeah yeah prince nazim muhammad got exposed by um the fuck is his name uh the guy who is in a series of wars with uh it wasn't perno no no no no it was a mexican gentleman marcos barrera oh okay barrera marcos antonio barrera yeah yeah that's who it was and uh he exposed him he he showed that fundamental boxing at the highest level is going to beat that crazy right jumping in wild shit like that wild shit didn't work on the top level guys and so he got kind of exposed in that fight but you know what man boxing is so it's so specialized and the guys that are really good the really really good guys

it's they're underrated how good they are like as a person who's watching it from the outside you don't understand how good a guy like mayweather is i think unless you're there with him while he's doing his stuff right like i bet if a guy's boxing him i bet that's when you get a real understanding of how good he is and he's disciplined too he's more disciplined than he acts on the outside like like uh when i used to hang out with kevin hart a little bit he used to hang out with mayweather and so they'd be partying in the middle of the park i gotta go and it's like three in the morning i gotta go do road work. Yeah. And he'd just go run.

Yeah. And bring the car and run. Runs in jeans. Yeah. Just says, just follow me. And he goes running. Yeah. Well, he's in tremendous shape always.

But apparently now he's a little heavy. Who knows, man? I mean, if enough money gets thrown in the UFC's direction, the UFC might look at it this way. Here's a pragmatic way of looking at it. Right. We can still make a lot of money with Conor McGregor. Right? If enough money gets thrown in the UFC's direction, the UFC might look at it this way. Here's a pragmatic way of looking at it. We can still make a lot of money with Conor McGregor, right? Still make a lot of money with Conor McGregor in an MMA fight.

We can still make a lot of money if Conor rematches Nate Diaz, which I hear they're trying to make happen as well. That's what the rumor's been. But is he going to beat the best guys in the world now? After Nate Diaz boxed him up and choked him out, is that going to happen again? And if that does happen again, how much will that deflate his value on the open market? If you're playing a game of chess, not looking at it in terms of a guy's career as an MMA fighter, but looking at it as a game of financial chess, how do you move your piece? You might say, look, the amount of money that you can make with the mayweather fight is off the charts right right off the charts so you're talking about like a three million

pay-per-view buy or something crazy so you do that you move that up and you you take that chance and he gets boxed up by mayweather and uh maybe he survives if he survives and loses a fucking decision and he goes back and he says uh all respect to mayweather you know i'm back to mma you know just i didn't understand his hands now it's a learning experience you know and he has this great press conference if he could survive right right he's not diminished too much and mayweather is not like a murderous puncher he's not like a canelo alvarez or gennady galufkin like galufkin is a bad fight for him someone like that's a bad fight for him a murderous puncher because most likely they're going to take him out. But Mayweather, it's very possible he's going to get to the decision.

And at 39 is perfect age. It's good age. Look, if I was in his corner, I would say, look, this can be done. This can be done. And it feels like McGregor wants to get paid because he threatened to quit because he wanted to get paid more money. No, no. Why? He really didn't threaten to quit because he wanted to get paid more money no no no why he really didn't threaten to quit what he didn't want to do is he didn't want to do any of the press conferences so he

made he called the ufc's bluff he said you're not going to remove me from the card i'm fucking conor mcgregor i call the shots and the ufc is like okay well we're going to cancel your fight so take care and you know they they had like a long break where they weren't even talking back and forth to each other. And Dana's like, nope, I haven't talked to him. He's not on the fight anymore. He wasn't at the press conference. We're just going to move on with UFC 200.

And UFC 200 is about the sport. It's all about the sport. Well, it's also an honor to be on that card. It's a historical card, just like UFC 100 was a historical card. UFC 200 is an absolutely historical card. And one guy can't hold it up. It doesn't matter if you're Conor McGregor or Ronda Rousey, or it doesn't matter what

kind of a superstar you are. You can't hold up the UFC 200 card, and you have to do the press. So that was their position. They took a stand. And so now he's in this position where he's got to figure out what the fuck he's going to do. He's going to fight Mayweather. I don't know he can.

I believe he would need the UFC's blessing. I don't see another. I don't know he can. I believe he would need the UFC's blessing. I don't see a world, I can't imagine a world in which he doesn't need the UFC's blessing. What's Rousey's plan? What's she doing now? You'd have to talk to her. Have a heard from her? I think the type of champion that she was, as good as she was, as much as she dominated, I can't imagine she's not going to do it again.

I can't imagine that one fight will set her back that much but she also has massive amounts of distractions she has a huge career in movies she's doing giant movies she's wanted for commercials and this and that she's got a book oh fuck yeah man she's a superstar right she's a superstar but does it haunt her that a girl that she beat twice Misha Tate has the belt is the champion right now and was talking shit about her yesterday right here oh look um I think I think Ronda obviously had a bad fight with Holly Holm Holly Holm obviously had a great fight with Ronda. And I think Holly Holm has a great style for Ronda if Ronda fights that way.

But if Ronda doesn't fight that way, if she fights the way that Misha fought, she stays on the outside and she fights a little more strategic and she uses more movement and she incorporates a bunch of different types of takedowns. Ronda's a champion. She's an elite athlete. And she's one of the best expressions of judo we've ever seen in all of MMA. Her judo is spectacular. If she focuses on that aspect, on the grappling aspect, the judo aspect, takedowns, more than trying to outstand up Holly Holm, which it looked like she

did in the first fight. But in her defense, she said she got rocked by a big punch early in the first fight. So it's very difficult to say how much that that had an effect on her because she did get cracked by holly like early in the fight so she could have been out of it and not able to stick to her game plan whatever it might have been it's entirely possible when you get cracked like that everything goes out the window you never know you know it's the only only person knows is the person who got hit you know because we see it like aldo when Aldo fought McGregor He just got knocked out because it's obvious we saw in front of us his body stopped working But Rhonda could have got real close to that and we didn't even see it right she could have bang

She dropped went in on her and Rhonda could have been just out of it like drunk not knowing what she's doing Like literally looking at life through like a hole in a shoebox drunk, not knowing what she's doing. Literally looking at life through a hole in a shoebox. That is entirely possible. So if they fight again and Ronda manages to not get hit like that, she fights a little bit more strategic, I could see Ronda absolutely making a go at the title again.

Absolutely. Absolutely being a champion again. She's one of the best in the world, no doubt about it. But it's a matter of what does she want? What does she want to do with her time? Does she want to dedicate herself the way she dedicated herself when she was tearing up the division? It's a very difficult thing to maintain, and especially difficult when you have the massive amount of distractions

that she has. So much Hollywood in her life. So much Hollywood. And money. So much money. Which is what you want to take care of your life and you got that option. I think she's,

that's the thing too. I also think she's taken care of, man. I mean, Rhonda's got to be worth millions of dollars. I mean, if she just lives fairly frugally

and she does, she's good. I mean, she's not buying gold underwear or anything like that. You know what I'm saying? She's, she's pretty set

if she wants to just be set and be a normal person. But I got to imagine that fire probably still burns. I just can't imagine it doesn't. I would think that the intelligent way to do it, though, would be to have a warm-up fight. That's what I would think. And people would say, oh, she should just go right into the title fight because what if she loses? Boxing, there's a reason why boxing has warm-up fights.

They're smart. They've already figured it out. Warm-up fights are good for two things. First of all, the name, warm-up. It really does warm you up. It gets you back to competition. And we saw with Jon Jones, when Jon Jones recently fought, when he fought OSP, he was supposed to fight Daniel Cormier, he felt himself and he said it. He just couldn't pull the trigger. He felt kind of rusty in there. It's because he'd been out for a long time, more than a year. So with a guy that's trying to get back at it, I think it was critical for him to have a tough fight against a guy like Ovin St. Preux, who's a world-class, number six-ranked light heavyweight.

Get down under the belt. It's a warm-up fight. Then fight Daniel Cormier, and then we're going to see what's up. I think for Ronda, it's probably a good idea for her to do that too. Fight like a top 10 contender, a tough girl like a Jessica Ai or someone like that. Give that girl a chance. Give Jessica or Raquel Pennington, give her

a chance. Give her a chance to prove what she can do and maybe even upset Ronda. Give Ronda a chance to get her feet wet, get back to competition but not be fighting for the title. So who knows? Who knows what she's going to decide to do but she's again she's set no matter what she wants to do it's a matter of what she wants to do with her legacy right it's not a matter of like a financial decision i don't think at this point um and connor like like like so i'm thinking i'm con if i'm con

i'm like i gotta work on my ground game 100 is he Is he doing it? I'm sure. Yeah, there's pictures of him. He has a brown belt apparently now, and he's training. The real issue is it's a long road to develop those kind of skills at a high level. You have to be – and you might look good with a few moves. Like every blue belt, like some blue belts have like one nasty arm bar. Like there's dudes that do like a certain technique and they they hone that shit down to razor sharpness but if you can avoid that how much else does he have so it's it's like having an argument with someone if someone doesn't

have a good vocabulary and you have an argument with him they might say one thing yeah well you're fucking stupid and it might work on some people, but you're like, I'm stupid. What about you, dummy? And then you start talking to that person. You start talking with a lot of different words, having a lot of good points, saying a lot of things that you know that they can't argue against. And then you start stunning them, right? That's what a good argument is with two people. Well, if an MMA fighter only has like one or two moves, you only have a few things, you're not going to win an argument with someone who's verbally skilled right jujitsu is like that in a lot of ways like someone can have

a fairly good vocabulary and a fairly good understanding of the world but if you were in some sort of a debate with like richard dawkins about science like you're gonna get fucked up you know if you debate christopher hitchens while he's alive or sam harris about religion you're gonna get fucked up they have more tools more weapons more understanding that's the same way with jujitsu it's funny i like you said richard what's his name richard richard dawkins like like he's on a debate team he turns the team we about to fuck these other scientists up they have no idea about the realm of vocabulary that's about to rain on their motherfucker dome. And they just pound him out.

It wouldn't be scientists, though. It'd be like clergymen. They're always debating clergymen and rabbis and all these crazy people that believe ancient shit. Listen, man, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Ian Edwards. So we're gonna do some soccer games, man.

You're going to bring me to the world of soccer. Oh, yeah. He's going to introduce it to me. Let me know. It's very exciting. It's funny, though. I know what you're going to do. What am I going to do?

You're going to come, and then you're going to talk shit. You're going to trash the whole thing. Well, I'll tell you what. You people, I'm telling you right now, you got to stop falling down when people slap you. Nobody likes that. nobody likes that. Nobody likes that. They shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it.

It's an honorable game. It's in the NBA now, too. It's in the NBA now. I don't want to hear this. Don't do it. It's shitty. I've never liked it, but people do it to get the free kick or the penalty or to get the other person sent off. It's become a part of the game.

It's unfortunate. So let's just get that out the way before you come. Because you're going to see that. But besides that, it's a man's game. Yeah, I mean, get the fuck out of here. When Raquel Pennington choked out Ashley Evan Smith, blood was pouring down her face. She strangled her unconscious

with one second to go with a bulldog choke in the first round. That's a girl! It's a 135-pound girl. And you get smacked running down the field. Like, Oh, they fall. They hold their mouth.

They roll around like a baby. Yeah. And women. And when you watch women's soccer, women don't do that. Women don't do that. Women do not take dives and get smacked. Someone needs to start a campaign.

Maybe we can help. And maybe your podcast, cause you have a soccer. What is your podcast? Tell everybody. Soccer comic rant. Soccer comic rant. Maybe we can help. Maybe we can help, Ian. Maybe your podcast, because you have a soccer... What is your podcast? Tell everybody. Soccer Comic Rant. Soccer Comic Rant. Maybe we can help.

Maybe we can help. All right. Go home, you fucks. Or if you are home, go to sleep. Or don't listen to me. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Much love, everybody. Thank you.

Much love. Ian Edwards Comic on Twitter. Ian Edwards Comic on Instagram. What else? And IanEdwardsComedian.com. Boom! See ya. See ya.