The Joe Rogan Experience - #800 - Bobcat Goldthwait

Episode Date: May 17, 2016

Bobcat Goldthwait is an actor, comedian, and filmmaker. His latest movie called "Willow Creek" is a found footage horror film involving bigfoot evidence.

We're live. Bobcat Goldthwait, what the fuck you doing going to a Bigfoot convention and then a Mothman convention? No, not a Mothman convention. You're a smart guy. You're a grown man. I just went to see where the Mothman was, or had been. Oh, there wasn't a Mothman convention? No, because I was at the Ohio Bigfoot Conference, which was less than two hours away from Point Pleasant, West Virginia, where the Mothman appeared. And when I was talking with some of the Bigfoot researchers, I said that— Do you do that with air quotes when you say that?

The researchers, I was talking to them, and I said, hey, we're really close to where the Mothman was. And they're like, well, the Mothman is not real. Oh. Do they know how silly that is? No. Well, some did. You know, that's the thing. There's different categories of Bigfoot people.

There's people who are self-aware. There's people who seem pretty regular. And, you know, that's the thing. You go to this convention and you have this idea of what a person is who believes that there's an 800-pound wood ape out there. And then when you get to know them, you realize that they're really fucking weird. Yeah. No, i'm kidding but there is that there is a lot of that there's a lot of that but i i have to say uh i i i love them i had a great time uh and uh it was really fun it was great i've had some people that i talked to

what was the uh professor from uh meldrum Meldrum, who's a really interesting guy. Sure, sure. Who is, do you know who he is? Yeah. He's a pretty prominent guy in the Bigfoot community, who's a very rational, reasonable person. And he told me he would cut his pinky off to know the truth. Oh, whole pinky.

And you said, you know what? I can do it. I'll do it with an arrow. I'm more fascinated about, I mean, I'm sure your listeners are more over it, but about you going out and hunting a bear with an arrow. Eating them is really interesting. What is it? What does it taste like?

They're good. They taste really good. The way I describe it is like a deer fucked a pig. It's kind of almost. That's taking the tofurkey to a new level. But I, you know, my brother, he passed away. My brother was, I'm going to say a a hunter but he was actually a poacher my brother yeah there when he passed away uh people said hey can um can i have your dope permit and i was like

what he's like my brother had been getting a dope permit in my name for like 20 years oh really yeah yeah he had all these forged dope permits. He shot animals all year long. The game warden would bust into his home with lock cutters and crack open his freezer and there'd be all this game out of season. Oh, man. Yeah, but you know, he ate it. Right. But he, yeah. Just didn't abide by the rules.

Well, no. No, he did not abide by anyone's rules. His funeral was, it was awesome and eclectic. But there's two things. Someone should have given me a heads up. Well, first of all, a couple of the pallbearers were in camo. Really? Yeah, yeah. So he was like a serious hunter. Oh, hunter, biker. the pallbearers were in camo. Really? Yeah, yeah.

So you were like a serious hunter. Oh, hunter, biker. Where did he live? Central New York in Syracuse, and then Rome and around. I love my brother, but he was wild. And then the other thing they probably should have given me a heads up, that his friend, little Ricky, was one of the pallbearers yeah

he was it's like I don't want to use the word I was going to say he was like a munchkin good save I didn't want to use

the other M word I mean he wasn't he was a tiny person he was a little person he wasn't a dwarf but because you know he was regular size

almost I don't know he was tiny but he didn't look you know what I mean I get it but't know he was tiny right but he didn't look you know i mean i get it but nobody said ricky was going to be a pallbearer or give me a heads up so i looked down the end of the church he's in the middle on one side of the casket in the middle yeah and i said to my daughter i go looks like ricky's riding a subway my daughter's like i think he just got air.

And so the priest is going on about how my brother Tommy loved the outdoors and he loved animals. And then I went on after the priest. I go, Father, I don't want to be impolite, but my brother liked to kill animals. There's a lot of deer right now in the woods going, whew. Whew. Upstate New York is a very deer-rich place. People have a lot of tolerance to those animals.

A lot of car accidents. Well, there's a lot, and there's more now than when I was a kid. But when, you know Tony V, Boston Kid? Sure. So Tony, I went out to visit my brother. I'd given him some money to buy some windows for his house. It's a long story. But he lived, this is when he's really out in the woods.

And we pull up to his yard and there's just, there's just corn growing. Like there's no rows. It's his whole front and backyard of corn. Like there's like psycho corn. There's no rose it's his whole front and backyard of corn like there's like psycho corn there's no rose or anything right and uh and tony didn't know my brother and he comes out and he goes hey what's what's up with the corn he's like uh it's for the deer bobby you know he's like and tony's like oh you help him through the winter he's like no i'm gonna blast him so my brother essentially made his home into a deer body.

Oh, that's so fucked up. And I go, I'm in the bathroom and the new window is cracked. And I go, Tommy, what happened to this new window? He goes, yeah, Bob, you had a little problem with recoil. So my brother would sit on the toilet and shoot deer. Swear to God. Swear to God.

I'm sure he was probably burning one, too. He'd shoot out the window like taking a shit. Yeah, taking a shit. You want to go hunting? Yeah, meet me in the kitchen. You know? And then one time him and his friends got really high. And they just turned this station wagon into a convertible with their Heliar torches.

And then they used that. That was their hunting mobile? Yeah, that was their home car. They drove around in a fucking station wagon? And shoot out of it. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so I brought this part of the story.

So Tony V's going, your brother's certified. But he's never been around my brother. So he goes, so Tony and I get back in the car, and we're heading to the car, and Tony sees this woodchuck across the street. And Tony goes, what is that? And we're like, it's a chucky, it's a woodchuck. And then we're not even down the end of the driveway, and we're like, blam! And Tony's going, I just fingered that woodchuck.

I go, yeah, man, that woodchuck's dead. You dropped a dime on that woodchuck. You fingered that woodchuck. That woodchuck, his family's going to go, Papa? Papa? Coming to the door. Yeah, my brother, you know, God rest his soul. He was a wild man, a wild man.

What did he do for a living? He was a sheet metal worker and, you know, he rode bikes for a long time. He was always, you know, there was always our home when I was a kid was like, you know, the movie Mask. It was just always bikes and motor clubs would come over the house and keg parties and stuff like that. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. It helped me to go to the bigfoot conference no no yeah so that's what i grew up with you know guys named like lowlife and all these guys and

my mother was great because they would come in you know uh my mother was sweet because she would know the only know their you know their biker names yeah yeah and so it'd be just you know hello shithead yeah exactly it would be like lowlife showed up with a shirt that said Harley's the best fuck the rest he's like

lowlife not in my house sorry Mrs. G and they had to turn the shirt on oh that's hilarious so I grew up with bikers

and it wasn't until later on I realized oh you know some bikers aren't rad you know what I mean like you know oh I see

you know what I mean like I saw them I'd be like hey how are you like they're nice guys so you know i mean like i saw him i go hey how are you like they're nice guys so you associated to me they're always nice yeah and like cool fun yeah and my brother had a lot of clout in that world so yes everyone was cool but and then later on i was like oh some of these guys aren't so awesome but so basically bikers are like bears at the dump like they look cool but stay in the car yeah yeah or in your case i had an idea that i forgot i know and you're not gonna go with it but it reminded me of uh i i was because i was reading people's tweets and they're

asking what am i up to next you know for the next movie but there was a movie i wrote that i even thought of you but i know you don't act and everything and i don't even up on it yeah you won't do it but i what is it you won't do it i won't do it oh i don't know... I kind of gave up on it. Yeah, you won't do it. What is it? You won't do it. I won't do it? I don't know. It's about an alcoholic clown? No, no, no, no. It's a gay Billy Jack movie. Because I love Billy Jack. Come on, man.

Come on, man. This would be perfect for you. Do I have to fuck anybody? Well, it's implied. It's implied. Well, it's all tasteful but it's like from the guy who shot a baby on camera

in a movie it's all tasteful so um no it's um I was married at the time and I said to my wife I go I'm tired of being broke I'm gonna write a genre picture I loved Billy Jack movies when I was a kid so I started writing it and I was about 40 pages in and she's like

how's it going i'm like well he's gay now and she goes so i'm just gonna keep renting we're not gonna get a home i go yeah pretty much so uh and uh and i and i was talking to gus van zandt i said i want to write to write an action film. Like if you were a 13-year-old gay boy, it would be the coolest movie you saw besides the 300. So it's just classic Billy Jack. He goes into the bar. He's trying to have a drink. Redneck town.

He's like, hey, fag. He's like, I'm going to have to ask you to stop using that word. He's like, what are you going to do? Well, I'm going to shatter ask you to stop using that word. He's like, what are you going to do? Well, I'm going to shatter his kneecap. I'm going to fracture your, yeah, the whole thing. And I'm going to shatter your windpipe. You know, it goes through the whole list. And you want to know something?

There's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. And then it says, and he does. And then he goes back, he kicks ass, goes back to the bar, finishes that drink that he was trying to drink and puts it down. And he says to the bartender, is there a decent place for a man to stay in this town? And then it cuts and he's in bed with that dude. Oh, God. Come on, Joe.

Come on, Joe. Come on, Joe. I don't even get done moaning. Come on. Come on. Reinvent. Well, I mean, look at Brokeback Mountain. I mean, it was essentially like a cowboy romance movie

with a twist. I mean, it had all the elements of like a regular cowboy romance. Yeah, and I wanted this to be like, to me, the political. Yeah. It was Billy Jack. Yeah, right?

It was triumph. I didn't even know he had a triumph. Yeah. But I was thinking about, do you remember? Jay Leno. Do you remember that? It's a jacket Jay Leno would wear.

When I see what you do to this beautiful flower, it makes me want to go nuts. Two Jews walking to a bar. They buy it. But I wanted him to have the bike that, you remember then came Bronson? You're younger than me. You remember that? Then came Bronson. Yeah, he was badass.

He was kind of the forerunner to uh to to billy jack it was a tv show and uh yeah he uh there you go he was a reporter that got fed up and then he just drove around and uh really yeah kick that was this see i'm gonna have the triangle but it's not gonna be the yeah it's not gonna be that that's a sweet bike yeah right isn't that rad oh yeah but i'm just gonna have a but he's got's not going to be that. That's a sweet bike. Yeah, right? Isn't that rad? Oh, yeah. But I'm just going to have a pink triangle. But he's got the Illuminati on his bike.

I know. He's got the Illuminati. I'm just going to have a pink triangle instead of the Illuminati. Fucking Illuminati. Look at that. Yeah. But he was bad. My brother was really into the King Branson.

I love motorcycles. I'm just scared of crashing. Yeah. Well, you can't. Well, I mean, you can't have them here, but it's- But it's so dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. I know. If I live somewhere real quiet, I would seriously consider getting one. Yeah. I think it scared of crashing. Yeah, well, you can't. Well, I mean, you can't have them here, but it's- But it's so dangerous. Yeah, yeah, I know.

If I lived somewhere like real quiet, I would seriously consider getting one. Yeah. I think it would be awesome. And that's like, yeah, and growing up in central New York, you could do that, but not here. My daughter wouldn't allow me to do that. She would, she just made it really clear. Yeah. They're just so much fun, but it's just, it doesn't seem worth the risk.

Yeah, it's bad here. Yeah. So you had a maniac brother. So that's a lot of people's perception of hunters, is that hunters are crazy people that just like to kill others. Well, my brother was just outside. I mean, yeah. There are a lot of people like that, though, that are hunters. That's one of the things that hunters want to deny.

But my brother also still had his ethics. Like, he ate what he killed. Oh, that's good. And he sold. I mean, he was a trapper. He just didn't like the man. Okay, I get it. There was one time where he was eluding the warden.

It's just all the stories. So they took off on a lake, which wasn't thought. I mean, it wasn't. So they lost their car. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. They drove on a lake that wasn't thought? He once took acid and went fishing in the swan pond because they had these big carp in there.

So he was tripping balls fishing. It was like a public pond or something yeah yeah it's like where you'd go yeah take your family yeah so in the middle of the night yeah i remember once uh oh what was that guy's name big mitch we i went to an almond brothers when I was like 12. Whoa. And Mitch had been the nom, and he was tripping, and he was totally, he was seeing Charlie in the parking lot while he's driving the car. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So that was my upbringing. Wow. So we got on this from hunters yeah but there is a I'm you know it's funny I'm vegan but I have more respect for people that actually kill the animal

would you eat eggs from like no no I'm not anymore I mean I did for a long time but I'm not like opposed to other people doing it and I actually I'm not trying to kiss your ass I have respect for people that kill it because then they're not removed from it. You know what I mean? There's this weird thing when you just,

you know, that's the weird part to me. Well, it's dark because you don't know where it came from, so that sort of it reduces your responsibility and you don't really have to look into where the meat came from.

And then that's where factory farming comes from because we're sort of ignorant to. And I grew up eating game, you know, venison and all. There's seven people in the family. Why wouldn't you eat eggs? Because you don't like the idea of chickens in captivity or you don't want them for health reasons. I just, I just stopped eating them. And, uh, you know, I had a heart attack a little bit a while ago.

And part of it's funny when I got off of that stuff, everything, my heart's in great shape, which when I had the heart attack, I knew I wasn't dying. And I truly, it just recently dawned on me. I was thinking about it. My thoughts weren't like, oh, I'm going to die. My thought was, I'm going to have to lose weight. I was thinking about it. My thoughts weren't like, oh, I'm going to die. My thought was, I'm going to have to lose weight. I was really angry. I'm going to have to work out.

I was furious over that idea. That's funny. I've been talking about this on stage, but it's true. After a few weeks of walking an hour after dinner, I was like, I don't care. But a cat was missing in the neighborhood and that would motivate me to walk oh to look for the cat i was gonna find it but there's no missing cats yeah i know it's coyotes yeah but i found a cat that i thought was the cat and then i carried it about maybe a quarter of a mile back to the telephone pole it was the wrong

cat yeah and i stole a cat. Did you bring it back? Yeah, I love animals. So I brought it to the house where I thought it lived at, and then I knock on this woman's door, and I did. And then she opened the door, and the cat ran in. I swear to God, and then the woman goes, she looks left and right. She goes, huh, and goes in like, oh, I guess the cat's knocking on the door now.

How bizarre. She didn't know you were there? No, because I didn't want to go, hey, I think I stole your cat. So she just thought the fucking cat knocked on the door? I call bullshit because they have furry little knuckles.

She wouldn't hear it. Well, when I let my cat out, he will meow because I don't let him out for long periods of time, but I'll let him out during the day if he wants to wander around the yard, because he'll just hang around the yard. Yeah.

But I worry about hawks. Hawks or rebels at night. We have coyotes in my backyard, and I live in Silver Lake. Yeah, coyotes are everywhere. Yeah. They're all throughout the entire 50 states. Yeah. If you're interested in the history of the coyote, there's an amazing podcast called Meat Eater.

It's by this guy Steve Rinella. And he interviews this guy Dan Flores, who's a historian, a wildlife historian. He's a professor. And he wrote a book recently on coyotes. Coyotes were originally only Western animals. And they used to call them prairie wolves. That's what they used to call them, they're actually a type of wolf it's a small wolf

and when people started hunting coyotes and killing coyotes and then reintroducing gray wolves into like Yellowstone Park and all sorts of areas in Idaho and North America that's when the coyotes spread across the entire range of the continent of the United States, now there's coyotes

in every city in the country yeah there's coyotes in the Adirondacks in New York yeah we'll kill them they have more babies this is what's crazy like when you hear coyotes screaming at night what they're doing is like roll call apparently this is all according to Dan Flores guy and they call out and when there's less response like when one of them is missing it triggers a response in the female to have larger litters. Wow. Significantly larger.

So it's just that crying is the equivalent of, Bueller! Yeah, exactly. So they had apparently a number of coyotes that they had estimated in Yellowstone. Then they brought in the gray wolves. that they had estimated in Yellowstone. Then they brought in the gray wolves. And the gray wolves are different than red wolves and a couple other wolves that are pretty much, that stayed in steady population numbers in North America.

Well, when the gray wolves came back in North America, they didn't treat coyotes like friends. They killed them. And so when they started killing them, as opposed to interbreeding with them, like you've heard of a coy wolf. Do you know what that is? That's a big thing on the East Coast, which mostly red wolves and coyotes are breeding. They're creating a larger, smarter coyote.

And it's because coyotes really are wolves. So when they started doing this, they killed 50% of the coyotes. The coyote population dropped down to 50%. But then, because they have larger litters when one of them gets killed, now it's ramped up in 20 years higher than it was before the reintroduction of the wolves. You're a survivor, man. Yeah. And I have to say, I mean, they're creepy when you see them, the way they move. I saw one scale a wall, like just climb over it.

One killed one of my chickens. I saw it run over a wall with my chicken. Six-foot wall. And they climb over it. It was one of my chickens. I saw it run over a wall with my chicken. Six-foot wall, hopped over it like it was nothing. Yeah, it's weird. It's like human in the way it walks. They're super intelligent. Yeah, but I have to say,

as scary as they are and all that, there's a part of me that goes, sorry, man, I know I'm in your yard. You know what I mean? I realize that I'm the intruder. Not really. Really? No, not really. You don't feel that about coyotes? No, no, you know, I'm the intruder. Not really. Really? No, not really.

You don't feel that about coyotes? No, no, because, look, they go where the food is. We go where the food is. We're all sharing this space together. It's not theirs. It's not ours. It's just weird, though. I mean, you see this.

You say it's a wolf. I see a wolf in my backyard. Yeah, but they hang around where people are. Yeah. Is that why? Because we're where the food is. We're where the food is. We're also where the rodents are because we have a lot of trash. But they're

really important because they kill off all the rats. That's really important. They kill the rats. They kill rabbits. They kill a lot of things that would get out of hand. Population-wise, if it wasn't for them. Well, I... Yeah, I don't let Anderson Cooper out or Alice Cooper.

Those are my cats. Yeah, not during the day for sure. I just. Or not at night, excuse me. Yeah, I'm not going to let them out. You just don't do it at all? Nah, nah. You know, I think.

That actually reminds me of a story. Well, I don't know if I want to tell that story. I was going to tell. A woman left a whip at my house. A whip? Yeah. Whip it good? Yeah.

And I have to say that I wasn't... I don't think I'm a prude. And she's a very sweet person. But she was like... I know where she was going, obviously. Yeah. She comes over with a whip. Well, she surprised me with it.

Surprised? Yeah, I don't know. I was like, I don't, you know. Yeah, that's not my thing either. I don't have any crops, but no. So here's the thing. I make this joke when it's true. I retired from acting the same time people stopped hiring me.

But no, I really don't like to act. I understand how you, it's, I don't like it. I don't like it either. And no one believes you when you it's it's i don't like it i don't like it either and no one believes you when you say that yeah they think you're they think you're lying and they think i'm lying i love directing i love writing i love being behind the scenes i love making stuff i like doing stand-up but i acting's hard back in the day when you know when i was in movies going i mean that wasn't acting you know know, if I forgot a line, come on, let's go. You know?

So I don't know if that was acting, but, but she was like, uh, this. So when she said, she said, I like to be dominated.

So that meant now I'm, I have an acting part, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? I like to be done. I'm like, line, line. I'm sorry. I'm not a book, you know? So, but I, be down. I'm like, line, line.

I'm sorry, I'm not off book, you know. Oh, God. And this sounds very almost borscht belt, but I did say this. She goes, I've been a bad girl. And I said, well, we're all flawed. I really said that. That's like a Woody Allen movie. I know, I know.

I did say that. And then we laughed. And I would just rather, let's have sex. Let's not. I don't want to act. Yeah, I'm that way, too. I'm not into choking anybody. Well, with you, that would.

I just don't. But I mean, it takes on a whole other level. I mean, yes. But I just don't get the connection. I mean, I get where someone could get the connection. You know, I was talking to a friend of mine, my friend Chris Ryan, who wrote this book, Sex at Dawn. He's a professor, a PhD, and he's a really interesting guy. And he was talking about where people get fetishes from.

And that when you're sort of imprinted at a young age, as you're going through puberty, sometimes very odd things will happen. And those things will happen. And those things will happen. You'll connect those things because they happened with you sexually, and they sort of imprint in your system. And he used it as a, as an example of how someone could get their dick sucked by a guy when they're like 13 or 14 and not even be gay, but really like getting your dick sucked by guys. Like you get turned on by like guys sucking guys dicks or something like you can actually like imprint in your mind but meanwhile you're attracted to women but you have this like weird kink for this one thing it's very strange but

give me an example of other ones i mean that feet yeah how does that work why would you why would you get into feet i don't know like somebody rubbed their feet on you like right before you had sex like some girl rubbed her feet on you right before you had sex. Some girl rubbed her feet on your dick and was into it and just playing around. It can happen. I'm sure anything can happen. Obviously, there's some things going on between a person like you or I who doesn't want to hit anybody with a whip and someone who's really into it. Yeah.

Also, though, there is something different. Something's happening. But it yeah also though i mean yeah there is something different happening but it's not like i'm like oh that's disgusting and weird it just doesn't do anything right it's just not your thing it's just weird it's not it just takes me out of the game yeah well i don't i just i don't ever want to associate sex and violence together i just don't think that's a good combination in my my world i don't like it but i get it like i have a of mine who him and his girlfriend, they put ball gags on each other and beat the shit out of each other. And they love each other. Yeah. They're great.

I mean, they don't really, they don't come away marked or anything like that. Right. But there's some hair pulling and some smacking around. Well, but you're, but you're a fighter. You know what I mean? So, you know what I mean? So it's too, it's like, it's,

it's ruining something you, you love. Yes. Yeah, I guess in that way. It's two completely different things in your mind. Sort of, but the way I look at that,

I don't, see, like that's the kind of violence where it's like, someone's like, hit me. I want you to hit me. Like, that is not martial arts't see like, that's the kind of violence where it's like, someone's like, hit me. I want you to hit me. Like that is not martial arts. So like, you know what I'm saying? That's not, it's not even remotely the same thing. Even if it's not even connected with sex, I don't want to have anything to do with that. Like the idea of martial arts is someone doesn't want to be hit. You're trying to hit them and it becomes this crazy game with extreme consequences, extreme health consequences.

There's nothing that's so different than holding someone down with a rape choke and just smacking them in the face over and over again until they start crying while you're fucking them. People are into weird shit like that. And my brain doesn't understand those connections. But some people do. brain doesn't understand those connections but some people do like that guy the cbc radio host right yeah yeah in in canada that had all these girls saying that he just was into beating them up and he would say he wants to have rough sex and they thought you know hey i'll be a little hair pulling right right spanking me he's punching them in the face and shit you know i allegedly i mean i don't know who's right apparently he Apparently, he won the trial, right? They dismissed the case.

And so now they're going to retry him, I guess, under some other case or other people. Well, then, I mean, then, yeah. There was some lying, apparently, by the girls. And also, they had 5,000 text messages between the two of them going back and forth about the details of the case and what they should say and what they shouldn't say. So, obviously, there was some collusionusion, obviously there was some deception or allegedly some deception, but what the fuck is it? And this guy was like identified as a male feminist. He was like Mr. Soft Spookin', Mr. Liberal, Mr. Public Radio.

But that's actually- The Crown dropped, is this really recently? Yeah, six days ago. Okay, so he signed a peace bond, and the crown drops a sexual assault case. What does that mean? Yeah, what is a peace bond? Some Canadian shit. What is a peace bond? Click on that.

Common and critical, first highlighted up at the top. Yeah, there you go. What is a peace bond? They're fairly common in criminal cases, defense, loyal, says. Boy, that poor guy lost like 10 years of his life through this whole thing. Peace bond isn't unusual as a way to resolve a criminal case as a lawyer in the wake of the news that former CBC broadcaster John Gomeshi is expected to sign one to conclude his second sexual assault case. A source who did not want to be identified told CBC News that the case will not go to trial in June as previously

scheduled. Instead, the charges expect to be dealt with on Wednesday. The incident is alleged to have happened in 2008. Counsel's cases are resolved via peace bond. I don't know what the fuck that means. A resolution. What is a peace bond? Still not saying. Yeah, I'm not sure. He's an

odd dude, though. Because he was like, Mr. Liberal. Yeah, but that's classic. Yeah's an odd dude, though. Because he was like Mr. Liberal. Yeah, but that's classic. Yeah, right. Those are the guys who beat the shit out of women. Yeah, yeah. There's all, there's those guys, those guys. But you know how many of those guys have rage issues?

Right. Do you know what I mean? Right. That real, there's so many of that folks, like these hippie folks. Right. And they have this rage. It's just really strange. It is.

Yeah, it's not. Well, also I find that a lot of guys who identify as male feminists, what happened for a lot of them is they had rough childhoods and they were rejected by women. So they become this like savior of women from all these other asshole-ish men right and so they become the guy that's different but they're womanizers yeah well it's not even that they're womanizers what they are is they just a guy but they're a weak guy and they're suffering from the trauma of like i have a friend it's not a friend anymore but i had a friend when i was younger who had he was he wasn't an attractive guy and he would have real issues with women not like him he would get so upset and he started over the course of the the six to seven years that i knew him he started associating women with pain

like they would reject him and they would be mean to him and he was going to all the wrong places like going to like you know hot spots and getting bottle service and you know and that was the type of people he was attracting and so they just wanted to have his drinks and and not want to have sex with him and he would associate women with with pain and frustration and rejection and so he started becoming this angry guy and i watched this sort of metamorphosis, and I was trying to analyze it. I was trying to do the Louis Leakey anthropology thing and try to figure out what the fuck is causing this stress and pain and anger. And it's just purely an association game. It's like how some people start looking at Hollywood.

Like, Hollywood's all bullshit, man. I'm tired as fuck. Why? Well, because you keep going to auditions and they keep turning you down. And so you just decide, well, fuck this place, man. This place is fake. But meanwhile, if you got scooped up when you're 20 years old and rocketed to the... Yeah, you would love this place. You would be the guy at the red carpet. You would be like the toast of the town. You'd be so happy. And so I think a lot of these guys that identify as male feminists, I think they're just pussies.

And what happened is, when they were young, they got walked over, they got trampled, and they're trying to figure out what is the pattern of behavior that I have to follow for me to separate myself

from these men that have ruined these girls' lives. I know. I'll offer myself up as the solution. You know, as a feminist, I just feel like you've just really been fucked over. Well, but I mean, there's a a couple things i run into the other guys who uh crimmons has a term uh

feminizers who are who are acting all sensitive but still pulling mad wool you know i mean there's a lot of that yeah it's like i understand it's like you're the same guy the same guy the same hustle. Yeah, exactly Yeah, the feminizers. Oh, yeah, and But you know, I mean at the end of the day feminists, it's it's you know basic human rights. I'm all for that Yeah, of course. I just the problem is but the definition and and those guys who I Question their integrity. Yes. Well, men are very difficult in that regard.

It's very difficult while they're sexually viable because they're looking for attention. They're trying to score. And when they're trying to score, they try any sort of combination of words that might be possible. Like I met this one guy. He said he's a feminist. And then he told me he's polyamorous. I go, oh, you're a pussy hound. You're a pussy hound.

I just, no, I just, I don't want to control my woman. I don't want to, I respect her pleasure, her right to seek pleasure. Oh, you fucker. You fucker. I see what you're doing. I respect her, man. Yeah, I think, yeah. I yeah, I think Yeah, I mean, I don't know when the when

First of all, when did men start becoming feminists? Was it Alan Alda? Did he pull that shit first? No, I think it's I think it's but you know the early 70s 60s. You start saying it I mean, I'm sure sure Warren Beatty was, even though, you know, I guarantee he was. But he was such a pussy. I know. I guarantee he was. Maybe. I think, you know, people don't like the term egalitarian. They think it's a cop-out. Like, oh, no, no, no. If you really

cared about women's rights, you'd identify yourself as a feminist. No, I like humans. I like all of them. I like nice women. I like nice men. I like people that are fun to be around. But I mean, there are obviously major things. You know, the pay gap is a real thing. The pay gap is tricky.

You ever look into that? No. It's a lot of political bullshit. The actual reality pay gap, it's very minor. There's only a few jobs where women actually do get paid less than men. What the pay gap is, is overall judging how much money women make versus how much money men make and not taking into account what jobs they do, what jobs men tend to gravitate towards naturally versus what jobs women tend to gravitate towards naturally. But when they're in the same job with the same sort of production. Their actual pay scale is very similar.

It's real tricky, man, because you can't deny that some people that are a certain gender like they gravitate towards certain occupations. And those occupations might have higher risk. They might have higher pay ceilings. There's a lot of variables. And then you have to take into account women taking time off for raising children, for being pregnant, all those things, having babies, maternity leave, that all gets factored in when you're talking about how much time or how much money people actually make. So if you say women should be paid maternity leave and they should get X amount of

money from a corporation, then you're dealing with a totally different argument. And if you do that, then the pay scale changes, then it goes up totally different argument. And if you do that, then the pay scale changes. Then it goes up a little bit. And if you say, well, everybody should get paid for the same exact money for the same job, even still, more men want to do certain jobs in engineering and science. And then when it comes to really dangerous jobs, men are much more likely to die on the job. Men are much more likely to die on the job. Men are much more likely to be murdered by other men. There's like a lot of weird shit that has to get factored in when you talk about

pay scales. And apparently it's one of those political things where people say it and then I say it and then someone corrected me on it. And then I said, but I heard Obama say it because Obama was talking about the glass ceiling and how much money and the disparity in income. And then I started actually looking into it. I went, oh, okay, this is complicated because it's one of those things where you don't want to be insensitive. So you don't want to say that's bullshit. Women don't get paid any less than men do. But when you actually do look at the real numbers, that's where they're getting it from. It's not like there's a hundred lawyers. Okay, let's use an example about in showbiz because

there is a big difference in actresses and actors pays. Are there? Your top actors. Well, the people that can sell the most tickets get the most money. Like Jennifer Lawrence gets paid shit piles of money. And there was that

thing where she was saying that she was upset that she didn't get as much money as bradley cooper but bradley cooper was in way more scenes than her he was in way more of the movie and he was a bigger star at the time like it's it's real tricky because if jennifer lawrence was in a movie with you she'd get paid way more than you well let's but you know i'm saying that's a bad example it's a bad example i i probably would pull more money. But you know what I'm saying? It's like if someone is a huge superstar. What's her name from Friends?

Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston in her prime. Or the Matt and Mike and Molly guy. What's the girl's name? Melissa McCarthy. You don't think she makes more than him? Of course she does. She's more popular.

She's more famous. She does these giant movies. She gets paid tons of money. Amy Schumer gets paid tons of money. I'm going to change the subject because I was thinking of Back to Your Bears and movies. What was your take on Revenant? I liked it. You know, it's all based on an actual true story.

This guy, Steve Rinella from that Meat Eater podcast, who's actually a historian himself in a way, he told me the story, the actual story, where they really did leave this guy for dead, and he really did crawl for a couple miles and figured out a way to survive and got to that guy and killed him. It's a real true story. I thought it was pretty good, man. It's really interesting. But someone who's actually been relatively close to a wild bear, what did you make of the scenes? People do, it looked really realistic.

People do occasionally survive bear attacks like that. Because a lot of times the bears are just trying to protect themselves or they're trying to protect their cubs. You fuck up, you get too close to their cubs. That's a lot of it. Yeah, that's the thing about bears is that you may not know that you're between the cubs. You fuck up. You get too close to their cubs. That's a lot of it. Yeah, that's the thing about bears is that you may not know that you're between the cubs. Yeah, you might not have any idea. Yeah. You got to be super careful if you're in the area. I'm just trying to.

I'm worried about you. I know what I'm doing. I mean, there's a certain amount of risk. There's a certain amount of risk. Yeah, that's famous last words. No, watch me. I know what I'm doing. I don't.

Let me try this. I don't go where grizzlies are stay where the black bears are and i um if i do see a grizzly we're fucking out of there pretty quickly you gotta you gotta be careful but there's a certain amount of risk to it did you see grizzly man yeah yeah many times i was rooting for the bears yeah yeah okay right. I was the same thing. I was like, go bears. Well, that's an interesting case because that guy is obviously- That movie influenced Willow Creek probably more than any other movie. Really? Yeah. Willow Creek, if people haven't seen it, it's Bob's Bigfoot movie, which we're going to

get back to Bigfoot. Well, when Willow Creek came out, I was in the middle of my- Your Bigfoot phase. My Bigfoot phase. Yeah. Where it was just ending. And what killed it for me was when I did that sci-fi show with Duncan Trussell. And we went to the Pacific Northwest and hung out with a few bigfoot hunters for a week.

And after a while, we were like, dude. We realized. I had a joke about it. I said, here's what you don't find when you go looking for bigfoot. Black people. You're more likely to find bigfoot than you are black people looking for Bigfoot. What you find is hordes of unfuckable white dudes out camping. And I'm like, this is an undeniable statistic.

I am not going to lie. That was something I noticed this weekend at the Ohio Bigfoot conference. Honestly, God. How can you not notice it? I was like, it was, you know, it was huge. Yes. And at one point I said, where are the brothers at? They don't exist.

There was two guys. There was two black guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were lost. They were looking for a car show. It's this thing that men do when there's no chance whatsoever I didn't get that though I mean I truly was

cause I shot some stuff making a documentary I said hey man we need some people of color which I was told they don't exist yeah you have to cast them

did you try you have to cast them did you try women did you get any women oh sure how many women are they all like the same kind of like no northern California Did you try women? Did you get any women? Oh, sure, sure, sure. Are they all like the same kind of like Northern California? No, one of my favorite interviews was a gal who was 16 years old. She was quite brilliant. I really loved her.

Really? Yeah, she was one of my favorite interviews. Did you talk to Les Stroud? Mm-mm. You should talk to Les. You know who? I'm not doing like a definitive Bigfoot doc. Right, but you should talk to less you know who who i wasn't i'm not doing like a definitive bigfoot right but you should talk i want to do a short about this festival you know this conference and uh you know that was the idea uh and uh so yeah bob

gimlin was there your your your buddy did he did you ask him about the story and of course what does he say he tells the story you know he tells it like it actually happened yeah one of the things interesting about him is that he talks about uh the amount of time he actually got to see bigfoot versus uh roger parison who was scrambling around with the camera and what did he say oh he was just talking about he he felt that he didn't film a lot you know and didn't. I mean, it's only 942 frames. That they saw it more than the film? Yeah, yeah.

Or he did. Yeah. That's because he helped the guy get the fucking suit on. So obviously fake. Did we talk about the... Bob Hieronymus? No, no. We talked about that.

But did you, the John Landis? John Landis, the film director? Yeah. What about him? Well, I'm really sorry. I was up since 4 a.m. Who was the guy in Argo that, yeah, that was the movie where John Goodman's playing the makeup effects guy? I don't believe I saw that movie.

Right. So that's a real guy and uh he worked i believe he worked with landis uh yeah john chambers and he had worked with uh landis and um so there was a rumor that john landis is in the patty suit in the actual bigfoot suit itself? Yeah. Oh, I never heard that before. So I wanted, I wrote to John Landis, I guess, because I, it does not go well. I say to my agents, because they're always looking for me to try to do something that makes money. So I go, hey, I got this idea for a TV show I want to talk to John Landis about. I don't know John Landis. I don't have an idea for a TV show can you get me his email so they get me John Lannis email and I write him hey it's Bobcat

Colthwaite I'm I'm writing an article for a magazine and I was wondering if you'd like to talk to me about this rumor about you possibly being in the Patterson Gimlin footage you know know, in a suit playing Patty. Five minutes, bink, I get an answer back. He goes, how did you get my email? That's how it starts. Who are you writing an article for? Most certainly not in a Bigfoot suit at the Patterson Gimlin.

I went back and forth and kind of calmed him down a bit, but yeah. It's such a bad suit, too. It's not a bad suit. You see, you keep saying that. It's terrible. What is it about that footage? It's obviously a man. It's...

You know why it's obviously a man? Why? Because it looks like a man in a suit. There's no? Because it looks like a man in a suit. There's no other animal that looks like a man in a suit. You don't look at a giraffe and go, that looks like a fucking dude in a giraffe suit. But you look at that Bigfoot and you go, that looks like a fucking man. It's walking like a man. It has the same sort of stride. It just has longer arms because he's got football helmet shoulder pads or football shoulder pads on.

And his arms, he's got these long fucking fake-ass arms. So, like, the whole thing looks fake, and he swings his arms. Why does it have breasts? Why not? Well, how do you know, first of all? It does have breasts. Oh, here we go again. We've done this a lot.

Yeah, here it goes. Did you know that? Now, where do you see breasts? Right there. Right there. Stop the frame. I see a shitty suit. No, turn back. Go back. Yeah, but what animal has hairy t Right there. You know what I see? Stop the film. I see a shitty suit. No, turn back.

Go back. Yeah, but what animal has hairy tits? Do you know even gorillas? Even gorillas, their breasts are unexposed? Yeah, it's fucking, it's shitty. It's all folded over. It's got shoulder pads on. I mean, it looks like-

Let me watch it again. Bob, you know shoulder pads go down like this, right? They go down like this. Joe, you might find this hard to believe. They're like shoulder pads. I know nothing about the sports. I probably know as little about football as you do. I don't even know the rules.

Going to the, going to, all right, here we go. Why, but here's my point. Why would you give it, why would you give it breasts? Because it's a shitty suit. Look, look at the bottom of his feet. It's so obviously shoes. Look at his fake ass. The whole thing is stupid.

You're just sitting here looking at this footage going... Now let's stabilize. Yeah, alright, see? Now you're about to eat some crow. Oh boy. You know, let me tell you something. One time I got so high, I was watching this documentary, I was watching this footage, I was like, what if I'm an asshole and that really is Bigfoot? What do you mean? Like you hurt Bigfoot's feelings?

No, like I've just been mocking this for so long. Why do you hate the Paris and Gimlin footage? Because, first of all, look at how little its legs are. Little skinny-ass fucking stupid legs. That is not carrying an enormous animal around the woods forever and ever like that. The weird part about this is how angry you are. Because I hate hoaxes. Anatomically.

First of all, let's talk about it. Go back again. Roger Patterson, the guy who wrote this, is a con man. A known con man. The guy who shot it. Went to jail for writing a bad check to pay for the very camera they used to film Bigfoot. He was a known con man. Bob Hieronymus.

Get the video of Bob Hieronymus walking right next to... In the Bob Hieronymus footage, you never see his feet. What do you mean? Watch. His feet are cropped out, so it doesn't give you the same height as Patty. But it doesn't have to.

That thing isn't big. People have estimated that thing to be about 6'3". It's not that big. That's a person. All right. You really think it's real? Yeah, I think it's real. Oh, you're so crazy.

Look at this. Look how he's walking. Look at his legs. Look how he's walking, first of all. Wait, first of all, his paddy doesn't have legs. He's walking. I don't know, because it's the same height as him. I don't know.

I don't know why they did that. Well, I want answers. Maybe make another one. He's the Holy Spirit. But come on, look at that. That is hilarious. That's the guy. I mean, that literally is him.

Put some shoulder pads on that guy. Look how he's swinging his arms. Could you put Yakety Sax under this? That guy's a big, goofy, Northern California, Oregon type character. Put Yakety Sax under that. That shit ain't real. But you think it's real. Yeah.

So you think it's a real Bigfoot. Yeah. Do you think Bigfoot's real like right now and still alive? Yeah. Really? Yeah. For real? Yeah. Really? Yeah. For real? Yeah.

What makes you think this? Well, I, oh, can I prove it? No. No, I'm not saying you can prove it. But what do I believe? What makes you say, yeah. I think it's the amount of people that I've talked to that I'm looking at them and there's no reason for them to be lying.

And it's basically the stories I hear over and over with a sincerity i don't get if it's not i don't understand what the the uh the the you know what is this mass thing that i'm a part of you know um i've had guys after the movie like you know i have like people that come up to me and they're almost like it's i, maybe they're trying to get a connection with me. But I also feel like they're relieved to tell someone this. Now, did they see Bigfoot? No, maybe it's their imagination and stuff. Maybe a lot of these stories.

But just the amount of the stories is fascinating to me. It is. Well, one of the things they've realized fairly recently is that black bears in particular tend to walk on their hind legs a lot. Yeah. A lot more than anybody ever thought. Not only that. And they'll knock a tree down towards you. Yeah. And they can walk on their hind legs for great distances. Yeah. And they're incredibly strong. and especially the big ones. A friend of mine shot one the other day on a hunt in Alaska that was seven foot, almost eight foot long. I'm going to show you a picture of him holding this fucking thing up. And you think about this animal standing up on its hind legs and what it would look like if that thing was walking towards you.

Now, my friend John is 6'5", I think. Now, that's clearly someone in a suit. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's a bear, bro. No, that's a guy in a suit. Look how big that thing is. Look how big that thing is. Oh, no, I agree.

I totally— But you see how enormous that is? No, and I agree that the majority of people who see Bigfoot are seeing black bears. So an eight foot long black bear like that one. That does stand out. That just walks around. And does a lot of the behavior that people attribute to Bigfoot. Yeah.

I think that's what they're seeing. And also, I think you're also dealing with woods. The Pacific Northwest, where the sightings are primarily occurring, is insanely dense. The way I describe it, when we went up to Mount Rainier, it's like Q-tips. Like a box of Q-tips. It's insane. That's what the trees look like. You can't see 20, 30 yards in.

It's gone. No, you can't see anything. Also, the canopy keeps light from coming in. So if you saw, first of all, the fear that would go through your mind, if you saw a seven foot black bear walking on its hind legs through the woods and you saw it in between trees, your mind would fill in the blanks. And Bigfoot has become this archetypal cultural icon. That is something that I, not only Bigfoot, but almost all archetypal characters. UFOs.

but almost all archetypal characters. UFOs. And the devil and all these things. I am fascinated as someone who does write screenplays and tell stories. I always wonder, well, what in the subconscious are they supplying? Is it just something from our ancestors that, you know what I mean? Or does it supply, this is how you told your kids not to go in the woods you know I am fascinated by what these different archetypal characters are and why they're created

if they are created and things like that I think there was an animal at one time it's not that I think there was an animal at one time everyone knows it's a hundred percent fact there was animal called gigantopithecus we all know this right do you think that's ingrained in us that our fear of that i think that thing lived alongside people for a long time and i think when you talk about like native american um right they when their folklore when they talk about bigfoot and they have apparently they have many many many words for Sasquatch. And I think that what they're probably doing is passing on thousands of years of data. We don't know when the last time Giganopithecus was alive

because they didn't know Giganopithecus was even an animal until the 1920s, I believe it was. They went to an apothecary shop in China, and an anthropologist found a tooth that he couldn't attribute to any other known primate. He asked the people where they got it from. They told them where they got it from. They went to the actual area where they got these bones and they found jaw bones that would indicate the animal was bipedal. And that's where things got really interesting because you're dealing with some bipedal enormous animal that was most likely at least eight feet tall right so a huge eight foot tall primate i mean we know the gorillas are huge and we know that you know there's the bondo ape which is this enormous

chimpanzee that's just recently been confirmed to live in the congo they have a chimpanzee in the congo that's like six feet tall 400 400 pounds. It's an enormous chimp. So there are like variables. There's different kinds of primates. They know about the Hobbit man and Flores that lived as recently as, I want to say 14,000 years ago. Right, right. That thing that lived on the island of Flores. That's fascinating.

Little tiny people that they think also cannibalized humans. And they think that human beings might have driven them to extinction they use tools they were like an enemy little tiny person thing that killed people perhaps so i think a lot of our our thoughts about like leprechauns it sounds like a really good movie it does it does well there's also people that believe that animal still exists or that, that, that, that small creature, the Orang Pendek is a one I think is in Vietnam. They, they believe that this, uh, this animal still exists and people still have sightings of this. And I think that that little, little guy is probably more likely still alive than, than

Gigantophagus. Yeah. to exist than Gigantophis. Well, I I think it's for me, it's I'm not copping out.

I mean, I do believe, but I also love the whole idea of it. I do too. I love it. And you've been in the woods and you know you can't see three feet in front of you. I love it when I'm out with folks, and they'll hear an owl that sounds like an ape screaming. And they'll go, nah, that's a...

And they know, but then I hear something else, and they go, hey, man, that sounds like a coyote. And he's like, well, you know, juvie squatch sometimes impersonate other animals. Juvenile squatch. Juvie squatch. Juvie squatch. They're the Frank Caliandro of the Sasquatch. There was a bit from my last special that I did that was a real conversation that I had with one of these Bigfoot hunters. And he goes, one time I was walking in the woods and I heard this bullfrog that was near a blackberry bush.

And I was thinking to myself, why is a bullfrog near a blackberry bush? And then I got home and I realized that was a squash. And he was dead serious. Maybe it was just a fucking frog, dude. I mean, maybe it was just a frog. In his mind, it had to be a Sasquatch. Like that kind of illogical. I'm impressed that you got to that part of the story that quick.

Because when you ask... Oh, it took a long time. Yeah, it's always... I just condensed it. You go, have you had any encounters? And it goes, I'm five foot six. And I'm like, no. The date was 1972.

Oh, that I would like. I had a brand new pair of shoes. And I had just broken one lace, and I tied the other lace up. And I was thinking to myself, I'm so upset with the way they're making these laces these days. They've shipped off their laces to China. That's neither here nor there. Anyway, I'm on a long backpacking trip. Did you ever watch The Bionic Man? Oh, with Bigfoot?

No. Bigfoot was on that? It's just like, it's never point A to B. They're socially retarded. They're adorable. They're something goofy. They're adorable in a lot of ways. Look, the guys that took me in and Duncan, the guys we hung out with from the, what is

it, the Sasquatch Research Foundation? I don't know what the fucking name of their organization is. BFRO? Yes, that's it. They're nice guys. They're nice guys. Yeah. And I also love it because to me it's a microcosm of faith. There's the people that see it and believe. There's people that have never seen it.

And then just like any other belief in a deity, everybody's got their own version and everybody thinks their version's right. And I love that, that there's all this infighting. Like while I was there, I would start asking people about, well, what do you think about Dog Man? And people were like, ugh. Dog Man's for idiots. This guy's crazy. Hey, why don't you go back to Holly Weird with that Dog Man?

That's so funny, man. I can't think of a more fun weekend. They think that he can sense where cameras are. Well, different folks, yeah. And those are the same folks that believe he's traveling in portals. Oh, that's hard, too. Yeah. Travels through wormholes and woods.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sasquatch is an interdimensional creature. I've met many people that can sense when a camera's on. But here's the thing. Here's the thing that I ask you. What evidence at all, if any, compels you to think it's even possible that this animal exists? Besides that footprint that I have over there. Do you see one of those? Yeah. I got one of those.

That's a real cast. That's from one of the fucking encounters. I think that looks like I hate to bum you out I think that looks like from the Patterson-Gimlin track wave. You think so? Yeah, I do. I don't know. Yeah. I think this is given to me by Bobo

from Finding Bigfoot. know. Yeah. I think this is given to me by Bobo from Finding Bigfoot. Sure. Look at that. How did you and Bobo get along? Oh, great. He was upset when I was ragging on that fucking video. Oh, the footage, yeah. Bobo, when he found out I was doing a movie, the first thing he said was,

I'm going to fucking kick Bobcat's ass. He said that? Yes! Because he thought I was going to make fun of him. Wow, imagine that. You make fun of Bigfoot and he wants to kick your ass. I didn't, though. And, you know, my movie is very reverential.

I'm not, you know... It's a good movie. Thanks, man. I really enjoyed that movie. And I remember calling you up right after. It's a more of a suspense film, too. It's a fun movie. Thanks, man.

It's really good. It was shocking because I didn't know what to expect yeah i remember we barely talked about it yeah he just told me it's a bigfoot movie i'm like all right and i watched this movie like holy shit yeah the scene in the tents is is is i'm pretty happy with that and you know when we shot that scene it was 3 a.m 2 33 a.m.m., and I shot it at Laos Camp, between Laos Camp and Bluff Creek. So I shot it where the footage was filmed. Whoa. And we'd seen a mountain lion.

I can talk to a guy who's seen a mountain lion. Yeah, that's fucked up, right? Yeah, it's interesting. Have you seen one? Oh, yeah, I've seen two. Yeah. I saw one run across the road, and that was weird,

and then we saw one in the woods. And, man, it's crazy. Oh, yeah, yeah yeah yeah and it would have killed us but it didn't want to because we were too many of you we were just really close it just got up and just like walked away like a house cat well they don't worry about people because they haven't been hunted in california since the 90s so all these animals that you're experiencing they don't view people as nearly as much of a threat as they used to. But if you're like in Arizona or places that have a hunting season, you're not going to see any fucking mountain lions. They see people. They get the fuck out of there.

Because they understand the threat and they get used to the threat and then they escape and they run away. Like here's a perfect example. Yellowstone. People haven't hunted in Yellowstone in over 100 years. So when you go to Yellowstone, you could pull your car up to a herd of elk. I mean, they're right there hanging out. You can get out of your car and you could see them. When you're in Colorado and you're in the mountains and you're hunting and you see an elk, they bark and they fucking bolt. They see you,

they go like this. They let all the other elk know there's a person. They recognize the threat, and they take off. Wow. So because we don't hunt in California, we don't hunt mountain lions. That's also why you never see any deer. That was really terrifying. And we filmed the scene. Did you just film the mountain lion? No, but we filmed there.

Because I go, well, let's just go to the left. And Bryce Johnson's in the film. He's going, why don't we just get in the car? So you were scared of the mountain? Well, yeah. How big was it? It was really big. That's the thing I didn't realize.

It's a lion. Oh, yeah. You know, it's big. And then we're filming the scene, you know, the long scene in the tent. And the first take, it's 19 minutes long, the one that's in the tent and the first take it's 19 minutes long the one that's in the movie the first take he started crying while we were filming why because he scared the mountain lion it was just yeah it was the whole thing and you know and then you know that nature that scene is is scary and and i go that was really good take i just don't think your

character would cry and he's like my character's not crying i'm crying why are we here we could shoot this in a hotel parking lot no one knows where the fuck we're gonna go that's really good use that intensity in the scene just don't cry we're going again i i crimson's had the same thing with me. He laughed really hard. Oh, that's so funny. Like, I think I live a fairly honest life, but when I'm in production mode, it's just, I'm going to get it done. Yeah. Well, you have to.

Truly, though. Well, you're under so many constraints. Yeah. And when we were filming Call Me Lucky, the doc on Barry, we were out on the lake and the ice started cracking and one of the guys was from Ice Truckers so he knew the noise he goes hey we gotta get off the ice

cause it was like boom boom sounded like someone tuning a drum kit it was like boom and I go what do we do he goes everybody walk off the ice one at a time 15 feet 20 feet between each other like we made a line but we

were far away from each other and stay away from fat guys and then and then actually did like a split like and then like snow blew up you know through this crevice oh jesus christ so we get off the ice and uh and there's this jetty and and I go, okay, guys. I go, let's just climb over the fence, because it says, you know, do not enter, close chain. And I go, let's come up here, and we just go down the end of the jetty, and the sound guy has never worked with me before. He goes, but the sign, it says do not enter.

I go, yeah, the guy said if he wasn't here, just jump the fence. This kid just jumps the fence. And Crimson goes, have you been lying to me this whole time? You lie so fast. Got to get the job done. Is this Windy City Heat 2? Crimmins called it. Oh, that's so funny.

Oh, that's so ridiculous. So we should plug this. I found out Barry's doing a special at the, where is it, Lawrence, Kansas on June 4th. Louis C.K. is producing a special. Oh, that's amazing. For Barry. There you go. Oh, that's so great. So folks at the Lawrence Art Center, go out and check out. They're doing two shows.

Ten bucks ticket. Oh, beautiful. So go out and see Barry. What is he filming it for? I'm not sure. Maybe it's for Louis. You know how he has he puts stuff out. I don't know. I mean it could you know. I don't know. I should ask Barry where it's going to be.

It's going to be released on LouisCK.com. Beautiful. Barry's so awesome. I love that guy. And I'm working on a lot of things i really am actually right now i'm working on um a couple different things i'm not going to discuss but one of the things i can discuss is i'm doing a uh a short doc on washington generals the the team that played the globetrotters i don't know about that oh they're the team that played the Globetrotters. I don't know about that. Oh, they're the team that lost three and a half thousand times, roughly,

because they played the Globetrotters. Oh, constantly in the fake games, right? Well, again, you say- It's like pro wrestling, right? Isn't it? Well, here's what I'm learning. It's really fun. Like, officially, they were never told to take a dive.

But they knew it. Yeah, and then they fucked up once in 71, and they beat the Globetrotters. Oh, and that's what i'm doing all the children were crying in the stands metal lark lemmink went into the went into their uh went into their locker and he goes you didn't win and the guy was great he goes but we knew we did isn Isn't that great? So I'm doing a short doc on when the generals won. When other people would win the NBA finals, I'd be like, wait a minute. Did they beat the Globetrotters? Where were the Globetrotters?

I don't understand. The Globetrotters are the best. I've seen them. They spin the ball on their finger. They do crazy stuff. Is this the actual game? No, no. But yeah, man, the Globetrotters

what a weird idea to like incorporate theatrics and sort of like almost like a pro wrestling type thing with do they still do it

yeah they do well there's the The Simpsons with Krusty the Clown where he lost all his money betting on the generals he goes

I thought they were due I thought they were due I just guessed he's going ref look he's pulling his pants down he's just spinning the ball grab it grab the ball i did the simpsons ride the other day universal i took my kids to universal the simpsons ride is fucking amazing. Yeah, I loved it.

It's one of the best rides ever. And there's so many jokes crammed into that thing, too. It's really funny. Everything, even when you're waiting to get on the ride, the screen they play you. It's really well done. One of the best rides of all time. And a lot of laughs. Oh, did you catch this?

It replaced the Back to the Future ride. It did? Yeah, and then they do a thing where there's like a shady dealing between Krusty and Doc Brown, and that's how the, that's like, yeah. So even that was really well done. It's the same building, and they just retooled the ride, basically. Oh, that's interesting. It's so much better.

Yeah, it's great. It's really like one of the best rides ever. How old was your kid? Well, this was the young, well, I went with my one, my seven who just turned eight. Okay. And I have a five who's about to turn six. So you went with the eight-year-old. Did you go to Harry Potter?

I went with all of them. Yeah. Well, the eight-year-old went to Harry Potter. The five-year-old couldn't get to Harry Potter. She's like an inch shy. Oh, my God. So next time I'm going to stuff her shoes. Was she bummed?

And I'm going to get her to wear heels. Yeah, she was a little bummed. But the eight-year-old reads Harry Potter like every day. She's read three of the books. She reads chapters and chapters every day. She's obsessed. She can't stop talking about Harry Potter. Did you get her a wand? Oh yeah, the whole deal. We went through a whole

rigmarole. But the Harry Potter ride at Universal is probably the greatest ride in the history of rides. It's fucking amazing. And I don't even like Harry Potter. did you bring up Voldemort to any of the employees? Why? What happened to him? Because you're not supposed to mention his name. What happens if you mention him? Well, their commitment is really impressive. They go, please do not say that. What's the name? What is it? He who has no...

Go on. He who has not. He who cannot be named. He who cannot be named. Please do not bring up he who cannot be named please do not bring up he who cannot it's like that old Graffalo bit I admire your commitment but I know you came here from Encino right

I just want to see if he's got a want well and also they serve this stuff called butterbeer that I guess was a big part of the book. Oh, yeah. And it's this unbelievably sugary, like syrupy drink with like foam on the top of it. Oh, it's disgusting. And just everybody's drinking it.

Everywhere you go, they're all Harry Potter. But it's really well done. Oh, amazingly well done. It's great. It costs more than a billion dollars. Wow. $1.8 billion for Harry Potter World. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. What in the fuck? So that's... They're making new rides? They're making a Star Wars World there. Oh, yeah. No, that's Disneyland.

That's even more... Disneyland Star Wars World. That really states even more pricey than Aaron Spelling's old house. Disney bought Star Wars, and so Universal is Harry Potter. Universal, well, I guess they were doing another world, too. I'll have to look up which one it is, but they're doing two or three giant world spaces like Harry Potter. They got some lame fucking rods. Jurassic Park's lame as fuck.

The Transformers is lame as fuck. They're too dated. I didn't do either of those. Those are lame. Don't bother. Did you go through the King Kong? You didn't do't do that see that's pretty good the tram yeah because it's the tram goes in and it's it's 360 uh oh yeah oh i did that a long time ago this is a long time ago right isn't it like 10 or 20 years old or something like that yeah the backlog tour i did that back in

the day i did that but uh i'm super impressed with The Simpsons, and even more impressed with Harry Potter. No, not with the King Kong that was like an animatronic one that had banana breath. No, no. This is Peter Jackson 3D, and you're in a 360-degree screen. Oh, no. Yeah, it's nuts. That's on Universal, too? Yeah, it's nuts.

Really? Yeah, yeah. That's really good. No, not the... The old stick one? I remember that one. Yeah, yeah. And it had banana breath. It did? Yeah, yeah. Oh's really good. No, not the... I remember that one. Yeah, yeah. And it had banana bread.

It did? Yeah, yeah. That's right. It blows banana smell on you. You blow bananas. It's come full circle. Let me get back to this Bigfoot thing. The Bigfoot conference.

Like, what makes you think that any of this, like, this stupid fake foot footprint that's in front of us here, what makes you think? I'll tell you, you know, it's hard to do this. I'm not saying it's impossible. Do you see that American werewolf in London that I have out there? Yeah. If they could do that, what would make you think they couldn't do this? Thermal ridges. No, it's the, I'll tell you what's hard.

No, it's the, I'll tell you what's hard. I'm going to say it's not impossible because there was people being pulled behind a truck, you know, so the, with a rope, so the spacing of the feet and then you've got enough force because you do have to put a lot of pressure in to make this. But here's the weird part. And this isn't, this isn't proof, but what I was really surprised with, because we made footprints in Willow creek and did it the way you would think you know uh-huh carved wood put them on your feet right really hard to take that that second stride it's really strange it's like anti uh snowshoes right to the point where i got stuck maybe it's because i'm a fatt ass but we had to get like a stick to get me it's not saying it's not impossible but it was really way different more difficult than I could imagine so fairly difficult but still that's the best piece of evidence is just impressions in dirt just tracks there's never been a

body there's never been a trail cam photograph of them mean hunters set up trail cam photos everywhere. Now that people have phones with cameras on them, there's people hiking and hunting, and everyone has cameras. But there's folks who have footage. What footage is any good? Wow. Other than that fake footage that we watched earlier today, what footage is any good? Look, a lot of people don't know that Roger Patterson also was Abraham Zapruder.

Because it's the same camera work. He had one thing he did really well. Right. That jiggly camera. Yeah. Well, when they level it out, it's not compelling at all to me. I really think it's fake. Yeah.

But I wish it wasn't. We're going to agree to disagree. But I wish it wasn't. I really do. Like, I want it to's fake. Yeah, but I wish it was agree to disagree, but I wish it wasn't I Really do like I want it to be real. It's one of my all-time Favorite myths so you would be thrilled if so thrilled, but I'd be so happy to sleep for days What would you do about? Well that that's the thing that's weird, too I wonder what people are seeing if they're not seeing Bigfoot. Bears.

I think they're seeing bears. Yeah? Yeah, I think they're seeing bipedal bears. Or bullshit. Or they're crazy. Or they're making things up. I think a lot of these people are lonely. And I think it's an archetypal story.

I'm fascinated, too, though, about when I went to the Mothman thing. What is it if it isn't this you know so why why is it is it the when you're getting ridiculed for coming forward with a story why is there like over 100 actual reports police reports and stuff when uh on this phenomenon where people are seeing the mothman you know i'm saying'm saying? So let's say it's fake. They're bored. They're in Kentucky. They're doing meth. West Virginia.

They're fucking their kids. Whatever. They're out of their mind. These people are out of their mind. This was in 65. Yeah, they were doing it back then. People have been fucking their kids since the 20s. No, not that.

Since the what? 20s? Okay. No, what? What? These are the wrong questions. I was going bullshit on that story there by saying these are the wrong questions by saying by saying no that's kind of new it's not so so what uh what's the right question well the right questions are wait here's here's why it's the wrong questions. Because all of this is eyewitness testimony, which is the absolutely worst, most unreliable piece of evidence you can get. I was in Alberta.

There's so many guys on death row, et cetera, et cetera, because of eyewitness. When I was in Alberta hunting bear the first time I was up there, I thought I saw a wolf. It was a squirrel. But for two seconds, I thought it was a fucking wolf. Because I saw it in the woods. I saw it moving through this incredibly dense brush. And I'm like, oh shit, it's a wolf. It's a squirrel.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Because I was scared. Because my senses were heightened. I was looking for a wolf. Because there are wolves up there. I'm glad that that squirrel didn't commit any crime. And your mind starts filling in the blanks. That is not the wolf that stole my money.

That is a squirrel, Your Honor. Your mind fills in blanks. I believe that completely. No, it absolutely does happen. And people have put suggestions into people's heads and then put them in certain situations. And then their mind actually sees things that aren't there. Your mind fills in blanks. them in certain situations and then their mind actually sees things that aren't there. Your mind fills in blanks.

Also, when you have memories of things, if your memories correspond with other people's memories, you'll adjust your memories to correspond to an iconic or archetypal type of story that people are passing around. And so if you have a story that emanates from one particular region and one guy shows up at the corner store and he goes, man, you ain't going to believe this. this i saw a dude with moth wings it's a man who is a moth like holy shit you hear about bobby he saw a moth man and then people start getting crazy and they're sitting around drinking and the next thing you know petey saw the moth man i was coming home i was leaving the bar i was all mad and all of a sudden i saw a man with moth wings and i stopped thinking about my own troubles and i said man this might be i saw a man with moth wings and i stopped thinking about my

own troubles and i said man this might be a demonic area we got moth man up in this bitch and the next thing you know another dude sees the moth man then it spreads and then those stories they become 10 years old and 20 years old and it goes on and on and on people are full of shit well but the moth man was a very specific time. It was for one year. People were seeing all these Mothman or one Mothman. Right. And then same time there's UFOs in this area. And then people were being visited by men in black. Yeah.

And then this bridge collapsed. And they believe that the Mothman is some sort of banshee that shows up to warn people that, uh, something terrible is about to happen. Seems totally logical. Come on, just fill in the blanks. Oh,

there's the moth man. Oh, he's up there. Oh, look at that. It looks like a gargoyle. That's not, that's the moth man,

bro. No, that's fake photo. Oh, you know, it's fake. You know, it's not fake. No. Um, I mean, look, I mean, the. No, that's fake. It's a photo. Oh, you know what's fake. You know it's not fake.

No. I mean, look. I mean, the Jersey Devil. Here's another one. Right. Jersey Devil. Jersey Devil. I would like to do a show where I take out, like, that Jersey Devil reminded me of.

So I want to take out other filmmakers. Like, if Jersey Devil, I get Kevin Smith and go in a tent and go look for the Jersey Devil. Don't you think that's a great idea? It might be. Come on. It might be funny. Did you remember? What was that monster show?

What was the monster show? Well, there's got all that, but I like the idea that like this is just. Monster Quest. Yeah, but this is just, you know, this is just a reason to get guys who shouldn't be out in the woods. Do you know what I mean? Right, right, right. To take Steven Sodenberg out looking for the swamp ape. You know what I mean?

Yeah. We're not the most robust gentlemen. Right. We're not the adventurous. There's some humor in that. Oh, please. But if you really do think there is one. And storytellers.

Well, that's one of the reasons why Les Stroud becomes interesting. Because Les Stroud has had two experiences. And one of them that he is pretty adamant. Yeah. Couldn't have been a bear, couldn't have been anything else. And he really believes that it was a Sasquatch. To the point where he's dedicated weeks and weeks to going out into the woods. Sure. But hanging out with a known charlatan.

The guy he's hanging out with is a total bullshitter. I'm sure you've seen his show. Have you seen the Bigfoot show where the guy wears the mask and pretends he's hanging out with is a total bullshit artist I'm sure you've seen his show Have you seen the Bigfoot show where the guy wears the mask And pretends he's Bigfoot You've never seen the footage? Of what? The guy that Les Stroud is hanging around with Oh no

Put a fucking mask on and got close up video footage Of him standing there even blinking With this fucking stupid fake mask I don't know what kind of mask it is. It's so fake. It's so fake, it hurts my feelings. It hurts my feelings when I watch it. I go, oh my God.

You can see a staple. You know why? Because I have children. And it makes me think, this is someone's kid who grew up and he's this fucking stupid that he made this video. Look at it. That's it back there. Look at this.

As if this thing's just hanging out. And by the way, this guy who made this, according to the Bigfoot researchers, he's got a history with having problems with reality. And so wait till you see the fucking, when they zoom in, it's like, oh, is it there? Is it there? I think I see it. Yeah, I have seen this. He's like pretending he sees it.

It's an actual. Oh, it's a definitely a squatch. Hold on. Wait till you get close. But I feel like this is. Hold on. 100 until you get close. But I feel like this is... Hold on. 100% real. I'm just trying to zoom in.

There it is. Oh, my God. He's looking at me. I can't believe it. My blood turned cold. I started getting goosebumps all across my arm, and I was looking at him, and I realized this cannot be a man in a suit. It's too good.

Look how bad that is. Come on. Look how furry he is. It's like someone with one of those hats that really rich old ladies wear when they're walking down Fifth Avenue. How do you argue with that? Look how stupid that is. Look how stupid it is.

Oh my God, look at that one. Even better. Watch it. Watch it blink. Wait for it. That's how you know it's real. It's fucking real, Bobcat. It blinked.

Look how it's coiffed, too. Look, his hair's combed like Fonzie. And I hear that a lot. Looks like Fabian. He's got hairspray on. That very clean. Come on. Get the fuck out of here. Right? Look at

that. Well that. Obviously. Clearly that's fake as fuck. No that's fake yeah. But Survivorman Les Stroud who's a friend of mine had that fucking. put that shit on the show. And he had some like, he puts out like a caveat. But what does he say?

He doesn't, so does he say that that's real? It all becomes very problematic when you have money tied into whether, you can't talk too much shit. Because it's on his show. He makes money off that show. By the way, that survivor man bigfoot that's massive ratings it gets bigger ratings than regular survivor man like we drops himself off in fucking africa by himself with a butter knife like that that's impressive that's he's

done some real shit and that doesn't get nearly the ratings that this hanging out with this fake Bigfoot guy does. You know? Well. It's weird, man. Well, so. Nobodies. We're just not. Well, they bury their. Maybe. See, I talked to this guy, Todd Disotel, who's a biologist, and we did some tests on all these different things that people thought were Bigfoot shit,

Bigfoot hair. It's all bears. Bears are dogs or coyotes, something like that. We did actual, for that TV show, we went to a real lab at NYU and we did real tests. It's all bullshit. There's nothing. There's not one piece of evidence.

And then there was that lady, from Texas, who was claiming that she found DNA. Melba Ketchum. She was saying that she found DNA, that it was Ketchum? Yeah, Melba Ketchum. Yeah, Melba Ketchum. She was saying that she found DNA, that it was some sort of non-human primate. It's bullshit. It's tainted.

But she's kind of ostracized in the Bigfoot community. They've cast her aside? That's how you know you're full of shit. The Bigfoot community is like, this bitch is too crazy even for us. Kick rocks, Melba. You ain't selling your fucking horseshit over here. Go peddle your shoebox.

So, all right, we're not going to agree on that. That's right, Ben. But listen, I don't discount the possibility that not only did that animal exist, But listen, I don't discount the possibility that not only did that animal exist, but it maybe even could still exist because the Pacific Northwest is incredibly dense. Yeah. It's a massive, massive environment. That's the part. That's actually the part, one of the things.

When you get out there and you truly, I mean, they lose planes in there. Oh, yeah. And they don't find them. You don't find shit. You can be, I've been in places where i'm like i'm not i'm lost and you know i mean like and it's a question of like 10 15 feet like yeah it's that dense it's crazy so that's what that and we're talking about insane amounts of acreage that people just don't live in yeah from oregon all the way down to the northern california range

so i mean there that's the part that when I started going around and I went in that deep, I was like, wow, this is, it's crazy how remote that is. It makes it compelling. But the shitty stories, the fake footage, the fake footprints, all the fakeness, makes me wonder if you're just dealing with a myth that is kind of cool to talk about

because it exists in this very strange environment yeah you know i i i uh i totally agree that i i love i do i do since i was a kid i've always been fascinated by these different kinds of characters and who are they and what what do they mean to us yeah and. And that's really key. I mean, I'll be writing a screenplay that has nothing to do with Frankenstein. And I'll realize later on, I'll say, oh, this was Frankenstein. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

This is someone who was rebuilt after being marred and became, you know, and came through the fire and became this monster that is unstoppable. And after I get finished writing it, I go, oh, I just wrote Frankenstein. God damn it. You know, and I'm fascinated by that. Well, it's also the fact that Native Americans don't really have a lot of fake animals in their folklore.

There's not a lot of, but this one is incredibly prevalent. Yeah. And I really think it has to do with Gigantopithecus. And if you follow where Gigantopithecus was, Gigantopithecus was in Asia. And just like all the other animals came across the Bering Strait. Right. If they did come across the Bering Strait, they would be exactly in the area where the sightings are from Alaska, all the way down the Pacific Northwest

Vancouver northern BC those are the areas where you have the BC Rockies those are the areas you have the most sightings so but those are areas where the bears are you know it's the same range as these black bears so I think it's entirely possible that at one point in time there was something like that that made it over here along with human beings. And you believe that this is like subconscious sense memory that has gone from generation to generation? I think it's just stories that get passed down and those stories become ingrained in our head and then we go looking for it. And I think it's entirely possible that written language is like,

how long has spoken language been around for? I want to say it's like 40,000 years, but I might be wrong. I think spoken language is like 40,000 years old, which is not really that long. So, which means spoken language is like 40 000 years old which is not really that long so which means spoken language most likely was around somewhere around the time that animal existed like if they didn't know that gigantopithecus existed at all until the 1920s and the bones that they got from

this one area were dated at about a,000 years old. It's entirely feasible that these animals could have survived another 30, 40, 50, who knows how many thousands of years until it eventually became extinct. So if that's the case, I think people probably experienced them. They probably came in contact with them. And there's also, there was a bunch of different bears that existed. Was it a flathead or a flat-faced bear? I forget what it's called. Flat-nosed bear, flat-faced bear.

But it was a prehistoric bear that existed in the Pleistocene that was such a formidable predator, apparently, according to Dan Flores, that he thinks it impeded the progress of people from Asia to North America there was a huge and like the biggest bear like as big as a Kodiak grizzly now so that these enormous bears flathead bear short-faced bear that's it that's it Wow look at the size of this fucking thing I mean this is an absolutely enormous bear that was the apex predator of North America that went extinct. I find out when it went extinct. Wow. But look at the size of it.

Look how big they were. I mean, it's a fucking monstrous, monstrous predatory animal. And this animal was the preeminent predator of North America. And what year was that? Not that long ago. I mean, while humans were alive, for sure.

Wow. Let's find out when it went extinct. 11,000 years ago. Wow. That ain't shit. That's nothing. That ain't shit. So that would also be, especially if it, like the black bear and like many grizzlies, walks on two legs.

Right. So if that thing was out there walking around on two legs, that would, you know, Native Americans. 11,000 years ago. Yeah. Native Americans have some weird relationships with bears, too. It's one of the few animals that they refuse to hunt. They don't hunt them. And a lot of the First Nation people up in Canada, like I have a buddy of mine who lives up in Canada,

and he hunts bears, and he trades with First Nation people. They won't hunt bears, but they want bear fat for their medicine and they use it to make pies and a bunch of different things. You know, like bear lard is like very prized, but they won't hunt bears themselves. Weird religious stuff, like weird cultural stuff. They believe that it's like an ancestor that's come back. They have some interesting ideas about bears. Their ancestors are delicious. Yeah.

Well, they taste good if they eat the right foods. If you find a bear that's a coastal bear that's been eating a lot of salmon, they're not fun to eat because they eat a lot of rotten fish and they taste terrible apparently. But the bears that I've eaten have only been the ones that live in these dense woods and their diet is primarily berries. What part of the country? Alberta.

That's where you go? Yeah. Northern Alberta. Mostly what they're eating is berries and each other, unfortunately. Really? 100%. That's one of the big things about bears is that especially the males, which is the ones you go after and kill, they eat cubs.

Wow. Yeah. Like all of them do. It's like one of the main things they go looking for once they come out of hibernation. Wow, all apologies to my dad. Yeah. It could have been a lot worse. It could have been a lot worse.

And there's two theories about that. I couldn't have another Bobby if I tried. I'm so full. Yeah, it's awful. It happened when we were there two years ago. One of the guys who was a guide there saw two bears fight. I saw it with my own eyes. A bear trying to kill this female's cubs, and she fought him off.

And she kept fighting him off, and he kept coming in. She kept fighting him off. Meanwhile, her babies were up in trees. The babies ran up in trees. We were watching her move around. And she was kind of aware of us. But we were far enough away from her. And we weren't moving.

She didn't think we were a threat. But then all of a sudden, the baby bears, they piped up. And they fucking just ran up a tree. And we were like, what the fuck is going on? And this big male bear came in. And the two of them just started duking it out. And it was like a UFC fight 50 yards away between these two bears i mean they're going to war it was crazy right it was really fascinating it was too dark even for us to shoot

the big male bear because it was just it was wasn't enough visibility wouldn't be ethical to do but it was fascinating to watch like she was protecting her babies from predation from another bear and she and she scared it up yes but here's what happened um not with this bear but in the same time we were there one bear came in and one of the guides saw it happen got a hold of one of the cubs killed it in front of everybody was eating it then she chased him off and then she finished her own cub. It's a hard Scrabble world up there. Yeah. Living in the woods of northern Canada. It's no joke. Wow. Yeah, it's no

joke. Wow. It's scary shit. And so that's the reality of these animals. And the population up there is insane. There's so many of them. Really? Yeah, when people think, like they think, oh you're killing bears, why would you kill insane. There's so many of them really people yeah when people think like they think oh You're killing bears. Why would you kill bears? There's not even that many bears you know Go to Alberta. There's a lot of fucking bears

There's they're all over the place like it's not uncommon on a day up there to see 18 bears Wow we've seen we've seen more than that on other days. It's crazy Wow you always see bears. You always see them. When you go hunting for bears, the success rate is very high, and the population is very high. And also, they encourage it. They want you to kill two large males. That's like, well, they give you a tag to kill two of them because they're killing all of these cubs, or fawns, rather. They're killing moose calves calves elk calves and and deer

fawns they wipe out more than 50 of all the baby moose baby deer and baby uh elk um a moose yeah do you ever see them oh yeah that's a moose that is oh really yeah that's? Yeah, that's a juvenile moose. Yeah, they're huge. That was huge. That thing was 900 pounds. Wow. Yeah. Wow. It's funny, like none of this sets me off.

And you know, and I said, because I mean, this is what I grew up with. Right. There was always, there was, I remember once my brother, you know, he would clean the deer in the garage and he had this idea that he was going to take the skin off so he like he sliced you know he was going to peel the skin off of the deer

with a truck? his Volkswagen so he hooked it up and then it just snapped ripped the deer in half? Yeah. Oh, God. That's dark.

Dark, yeah. Maybe that's why I'm a vegan. And I'm a tiny little boy. It's like Tommy's in the garage dismantling Rudolph with his Volkswagen bug. I had this conversation with these guys from this documentary, Cowspiracy. And it was all really heavy. And it's really about factory farming, which I think is disgusting. And I think pretty much everybody does.

And the ag-gag laws, which are even more disgusting, which are these laws that are in place to keep you from taking video footage of any atrocities. And then I went home and I turned on that Steve Rinella guy's show and he was showing how to butcher a deer. And one of the ways they did it was they take like a rock and they wrap the hide up in this rock and then tie it off and then tie that rope on that rock to a truck and then pull it. And it just looks so fucked up. This deer hanging by its like haunches. Yeah. And then they just strip the skin off of it like a sheet.

And they're like, whoa. Is it safe? Is it safe? And then they're cutting it up and slicing it and turning it into roasts and chops and steaks and hamburger meat. And like, whoa. It's just the cold reality of what meat is and where it comes from, which has escaped us. It has left the consciousness of most people who eat meat. They don't experience it.

They don't see it. Consciousness of most people who eat meat. They don't experience it. They don't see it. It's like it's one of the things that's insidious about a lack of information because a lack of informationins just coffee? Yeah, they made a law against press taking food during yeah, which is crazy because they're not only they they're they're Filtering and controlling the narrative so much that you can't even see an American flag draped coffin Yeah, it's very dark because then war in your mind. Yeah. Yeah, war in your mind only means war if you lost your friend or if you lost your husband or if you lost your wife.

Then it becomes war. But if it's just somebody you don't even know, then it allows you to just keep going on about your business. And it's just a number and it's very, yeah. I mean, one of the things that got us out of vietnam was the the footage that was on the news every night when you're having dinner and you know that that that that was what ended it i mean what do i know but that felt like what ended it to me yeah well look it's here we are you know 15 years later we're still in Afghanistan. Yeah. Why?

And there's never any footage. Never. And when I was a kid. You have to search for it. When I was a kid, that was what was on during the news while we're having dinner. And that was what I saw my parents turn. You know, my parents went from cursing hippies and war protesters to, to going to the other side. Wow.

You know, so that must've been interesting. Yeah. I mean, I watched it, you know, and so, yeah,

the fact that the, uh, I remember when, when, when, when, when that happened, when we,

it was crazy, but I think the new administration is going to fix everything. For sure. Especially if Trump wins. Yeah. Very excited about that. If Hillary Clinton wins, it's going to be all different, folks. It's not going to be business as usual.

It's not going to be just politics. It's not going to be about money controlling politics. It's not. I don't care where she gets her money from. Dude, she's got ethics. She's got morals. Those bankers, they could pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars. She's going to tell them off yeah it's it's it is but it is an insane uh camp and this is i've never seen anything like this i'm 53 years old it's the most insane right barry

must be loving it you know it's funny it was but it's godfather three because barry was out you know and now and they dragged him back in you know it's so crazy that he had to get back in yeah i know he was like up in the woods yeah i know isn't it great it's kind of funny so so yeah so we all uh we all uh get a gift from that but it highlights how ridiculous the system is that this is all it needs you just need a public system and the in the yeah and the fact that it's not one man one vote and you know well there's a whole lot of system. You just need the public's attention and the fact that it's not one man, one vote. Well, there's a whole lot of that. But there's also, like, what has our society become?

Our society has become this crazy thing where we pay attention to whatever spectacles on the news. Well, that spectacle is now a guy who's running for president with plastic hair. And that guy, this reality star, you're fired. You know, those Mexicans are going to build us a wall. The wall just got 10 foot higher. Yeah. The morons are fucking up in arms. Like, we got a king.

Yeah. We're going to fucking take over. And it's exciting. It's. White people are very excited, too. It's. Yeah. White men. Let's make America white again.

White men and mean ladies. It's a lot of mean ladies that like Trump. All buttoned down Angry faces thin lips like this. Mmm. It's also interesting to The Republicans trying to knock out him which is crazy, too. What can they do? I mean, what are they what do they have left? I know what else is running. Yeah mitt didn't work They have nothing nobody's ever said quick. Give me a Mormon. Did you hear about the guy who was writing a blogger, who was writing a piece about Ted Cruz's connection, his father's connection to the death of Lee Harvey Oswald? No. Apparently, Ted Cruz's father was involved in some way with the death of Lee Harvey Oswald.

Not only that, he may have played a part in the assassination attempt with President Kennedy. He might have had a part in the assassination of President Kennedy. Ted Cruz's fucking dad. So Ted Cruz's dad has some sort of connection

to Jack Ruby? Yes. Wow. And has some sort of a connection with the people that were rebelling against the Batista regime. And a lot of his story, apparently, is bullshit. with the people that were rebelling against the Batista regime.

And a lot of his story, apparently, is bullshit. And people who have looked into it, it's one of the things they were looking into while he was running for president. The story of his dad, his dad came over on a raft with $100 sewn into his underwear. He had one of those stories. And he made it with good old-fashioned American ingenuity. Apparently not. Apparently he was like a rebel, you know? Wow.

And he may have played a part in the death of Lee Harvey Oswald. Wow. Yeah. Well, there was a guy who was writing

a story about it and he wound up dead. Wow. Yeah. And, you know, the guy even wrote, hey, if I'm not around anymore, you know, this is what happened and this is the story, but people do that kind of shit before they kill themselves

That's that's a problem because they think there's a real story and one of the things that they're all depressed I think one of the things I'm gonna do I'm gonna make this story happen I'll blow my brains out and they're gonna think that you know they're gonna look into this because they're gonna think that I was whacked by them the man like to think that you know they're going to look into this because they're going to think that i was whacked by the man like as if anybody is running around killing people over lee harvey oswald's death today what's that jamie these are the photos that they found of ted cruz's dad yeah this is the guy in the white shirt here that's ted cruz's dad this was an unidentified man from the warren commission so they think that that's him. Oh, he looks like a Cuban fella. Yeah, there's a couple pictures of it,

but that's the link. Most likely. I'm going with that. I'm going to run with it. That's him today? Well, apparently his story doesn't add up when they check out

his history, when he says he got here, when he actually was here. There's a lot of funky business. And by the way, I have a fucking very, very shallow knowledge of this story. I leafed over it today. Cruz responds, yes, my dad killed JFK, secret

Eli Elvis, and Jimmy Hoffa's buried in his backyard. Ty Cruz got sunk by that video that showed the outtakes of him making one of those videos. Did you see that? No, no, no. With the family and his mom and everything. One of them was like, my mom prays for me, oftentimes hours a day. And she went like, what?

And they showed it. The footage of his mom like, what? If I don't fucking pray for you hours a day, what am I, crazy? Jesus Christ. They made them do take after take. There it is. It was like so fake.

We can't hear him without the headset on. There's his dad. He killed JFK. That's what I heard. Want to hear it? Here, put the headset on. Earlier this year, the Cruz campaign posted hours of this footage on YouTube. By law, campaigns can't coordinate with super PACs, so many quietly post raw videos like this on public websites as a way to share material legally. But it lets us take a rare peek behind the scenes at the strange world of political ad making. Give me a couple lines from being executed. That's too personal, Tick. I don't want to tell that. I do like it. I'll like it in a box. I'll like it in a goat. I'll like it.

I want to tell that, and you're the best person to tell that. Well, there's some very personal details that I don't want to go into. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I'm Sam. I am. I am. I'm Sam. You don't want to go into. I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it. I'm Sam, I am, I am, I'm Sam. When Ted was three. Look at me. I need the book if you want to give me specific lines. Not a day goes by that my mom is not lifting me up in prayer.

For hours at a time. Our family has actually made a difference and an impact in our country today. Am I supposed to say the same type? My family background is that my grandfather was a missionary in Africa for about 40 years. I don't know what else to say. I don't know. Just keep talking. Just keep talking. Look at the kid. Poor kid. My fucking crazy dad. My brother thinks too much. I can't get his gig down talking. Just keep talking. Look at the kid. Poor kid. My fucking crazy dad.

My brother thinks too much. I can't get his gig down. He doesn't live there. It seems like everything is staged. Even hugs. I'm proud of you, Joey. I love you. Oh, no. Who's that guy? I love you, too.

I love you, too. I love you, Mom. Oh. I love you, dear. I love you. Oh, fake. I love you. I killed JFK.

He got it right in his ear That's what I heard This is the same as What we were talking about Line Yeah this is Bigfoot I love you Line

This might as well be Bigfoot Look at this They're sitting around the dinner table Just didn't even know a camera was there Camera just caught us It's weird Wow Let's hold hands in prayer

Dear magic man in the sky Who doesn't like gay people Let's make sure that our food Has magic man in the sky who doesn't like gay people, let's make sure that our food has all been blessed. This is just a casual, you know, we say grace. First we lay the dolly track out. First of all, why are you pretending this is your fucking kitchen table, bitch? You know you got some nice house. You got cash.

You're not living a simple, humble life, you fuck. We were looking at, before you got here, something that I forgot about. Can we play that? What? Oh, yeah, yeah. I forgot about this. And recently I was doing a show, a stand-up show, and the guy in the booth played it, Avery. And in my mind, it was lot, lot, it was way more chill.

This is Arsenio Hall got canceled. And this is footage of me going on the show. Actually, what I want to know is, do I still have to keep kissing your ass? This is after he's canceled? Yeah. I mean, why are you lying when I feel... Why make it easier for the next guy? after he's canceled? Yeah. I mean, why are you right where I feel? Why make it easier for the next guy?

Are you really quitting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then, let's, come on, let's cut the s*** right now. He spray-painted on his set. Yeah, it's... What are you saying?

Paramount. Paramount sucks, right? Yeah. I don't even remember this. And now nobody stopped you, so did they not know you were going to? No, I was going to do this. Oh, did they know you had a you were going to? No, they did not know I was going to do this Oh, did they know you had a can in your pocket? No, no, no

After this I would start getting patted down When I did shows And this is before But this This is before the Tonight Show This is before you lit the Tonight Show on fire So you threw couch cushions into the audience? Watch this though, this is

Oh my god, you took a monitor and smashed it Jesus Christ That's a $3,000 monitor This is... Oh, my God. You took a monitor and smashed it. That's a $3,000 monitor. Did they charge you for that? No, they were nice. Leno charged me for the chair. He did? Yeah.

How much did he charge you for the chair? It was like 500 bucks or something like that. Oh, my God, dude. You're going crazy. This is so punk rock. Look at Arsenio stepping in and trying to stop you. But he's laughing while he's doing it. Yeah, yeah.

But here's funny.'s funny this is hilarious i like how you kept your hat on the entire time no there you go i'm bald yeah but here's funny is oh yeah we'll get stopped here but they just when they broadcast, they put this logo up. Yeah, that's, yeah. Oh, that's funny. But so when they broadcast it, they put that logo up because the director at the time just had this loving shot push into Paramount sucks. Oh, that's funny. That was what they had a problem with. But when he wrestled me down, he actually, he whispers into my ear as they're going to commercial, he goes, thanks, man. as they're going to commercial, he goes, thanks, man.

So then, yeah, then Leno booked me like four days after. Oh, that's hilarious. And you lit his set on fire. Yeah, he's like... Because you thought, like, that's what they want. I was just, I was more angry, I think, at Jay. But, yeah, he's like, so, you know, what happened over at Athenio?

And I go, well... What were you angry at Jay for? I eat my ego and, you know, what happened over at Athenio? And I go, what are you angry at Jay for? I eat my ego and fear. He suddenly was having me on the show. I was going on the show and people seemed like they liked me. And the idea of being accepted on such a mass level was terrifying. And I think I resented him because even though he's older than me, I've been doing comedy almost the same amount of time. and he was always kind of always like doling out of vice and it's like well i don't

want to have your career you know don't do that you know and it's like yeah it's like i'm i'm a man and i make my decisions i just do a different kind of comedy as you i'm not criticizing the kind of comedy you know you guys do you know there was all those sweater acts back then, you know. And so, and I don't regret it, but I do think it was kind of an asshole move to Jay. It was an aggressive move. And I apologized to him later on, years later. I was like, I was being nasty. Where Jay belongs is what he's doing now. I'm sorry, keep going.

No, no, no, go ahead. Where Jay belongs is what he's doing now. Like doing that car show. He's fucking great at it jay belongs is what he's doing now like doing that car show he's fucking great at it he's great on it it's fun well you remember him a different guy well but he's a funny guy i mean yeah that's letterman you mean yeah he would crush he's amazing yeah and um i haven't seen the car show and stuff well a lot of comics felt betrayed because he was this guy who was kind of like the hip smart voice of like mocking a lot of comics felt betrayed because he was this guy who was kind of like the hip,

smart voice of like mocking a lot of the stupid shit that we saw in the world. And then all of a sudden he gets this tonight show gig and he becomes Mr. Living room. Yeah. And he was, he went from, yeah, I mean,

it looks like I'm peeing fire there actually. Um, so he's got this show now. I think it's funny. Like in my memory, I was like, like it was just a little fire but that's a pretty good size flame could have died see you see this is because i have lighter fluid that's what made it arson because it was premeditated premeditated i learned a lot about being in the moment well i mean if i just set it on fire with a lighter then yeah this was that's why it was arson. But anyway, his show that he's doing now, it's like something that he actually cares about.

And we talked about it. I had him on the podcast. He was like, yeah, I mean, I would have these, you know, he couldn't pick who was on The Tonight Show. So they would put people on like from reality shows and he'd be like, he'd have to say, so are you and her ever going to get married or what's going to happen? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the nature of that. It's, you know, I think Letterman made a decision after, you know, some days, I think I'm paraphrasing,

but someone said, who was on the show tonight? And he's like, I don't know. And then he was like, I got it. Yeah. That was when he decided to retire. Like he couldn't remember. I get that. When I used to direct the Kimmel show, someone would say, who was on last night?

And I couldn't remember. Yeah. Because it's a grind. It's weird. Yeah, it's a weird gig. I'm always fascinated by the ego of the guy. Remember the guy who tried to blackmail Letterman? Yes, yeah.

Well, he was fucking the guy's girlfriend or whatever it was. Letterman had had some sort of relationship, and now this guy has a relationship. had some sort of relationship and now this guy has a relationship my you know my take on it was this guy couldn't get past that she used to bang letterman probably there's probably some of that and he was going through a bad divorce so he's like i got this thing i'm gonna blackmail letterman and let his current girlfriend i don't think the woman who became his wife, about this. He's going to blow up the whole thing. And I love that Letterman, what the guy never, ever, ever thought of.

What if the guy just does the right thing? Yeah. Letterman just said, hey, you know, this happened. It went on TV. Yeah, it was beautiful. And it didn't become a story like the way it normally would. And he didn't do that bullshit fake i did something wrong he said this is between my wife and i yeah but someone's blackmailing i mean just you know

yeah because because because i always that faux apology is really strange like for for nothing you know like um when hugh grant apologized he said well i did a bad thing it's like well did you and would if you hadn't been arrested would you said hey i did a bad thing last night right uh i didn't get arrested anything but you guys should know i picked up a hooker at right you know i mean you wouldn't it's so it's what are you apologizing right so but letterman didn't do a faux apology. He just did the right thing. And the guy's life came down like a house of cards. And I think... He was in jail.

Yeah. And I think when you're... I think as a young man, you can't get past your partner's history. You know? And this guy... I just think... I don't know. There's something really poetic.

I don't know. I'm fascinated by the story. Because the twist is all david letterman did was the right thing and that was shocking to this guy and almost to our society we couldn't do anything with it couldn't exploit it couldn't sell people magazine when somebody's just square he also did it the way he confessed on television he did it like a david letterman conversation well um i was having sex with someone to work with me yeah and everybody's like what the fuck is he doing i love it yeah spend so much time on all this trying to manage stuff and staying instead of actually owning something

instead of saying this is what i did this is what I did. This is what I did wrong. It's really none of your business. Yeah. Well, it's like when we catch someone lying about something and then they're deceptive, that's when people get like really into something. But when someone comes out and just owns it, like Charlie Sheen, like Charlie Sheen, like when he went on all these shows and said, yeah, I smoke rocks. That's what you do. You know, I smoke all this Coke, you he went on all these shows and said, yeah, I smoke rocks. That's what you do.

You know, I, I, I smoke all this Coke, you know, cause, uh, that's how I roll, baby. Everybody's like, I fucking love this guy. But meanwhile, if someone had footage of him smoking crack out there, you know, banging hookers, people be like, oh my God, his career is over. Yeah. And, and he would say, I got to put a spin on this. Yeah. It would, there would be be some some sort of recovery but what's really interesting is the charlie sheen thing we're finding out that the whole tailspin that he went through in like 2012 was because he found out he had hiv

like that's really part of what this all was about and that's what the most recent uh blackmail uh attempts against him was apparently he's paid millions of dollars to quiet this down and he had all these sexual partners and didn't tell them I guess or so there's all sorts of other lawsuits and all sorts of craziness involved but that's what set him off and what made him say fuck it I'm just gonna go out and tell everybody everything and it was because he had HIV it's really nuts it's um i was thinking of someone else's story at the same time just then uh it's i don't know i think i think uh we're just so used to this filter that that i i when someone is just generally honest and saying um you know

that that is actually the most powerful thing, and it takes all the sting out. There's no gossip. Right. You say, yeah, I did this. I think people are way more concerned with deception than they are with folly. They're way more concerned with deception

than they are with people fucking up, with people making mistakes. Well, I think it's funny when people will talk. I mean, not that it was a big deal that I set the Leno show on fire, but people now will come up to me and say, they'll be like, or stories appear that say I was banned from The Tonight Show. And it's like, no, I wasn't. You made that step.

I was on a week later. You decided that. Right that's a common thing in you know, yeah bios of me I see people saying that I was banned for the signature. I mean you were a week later I was banned for a whole seven days you lit it on fire and then a week They had me back and would you say hey man? Really? No, we did it You know of you lightning you on fire. No, he had back and we just say, hey, man, I'm really sorry. No, we did a bit, you know. Of you lighting it on fire. No, no. He had me back on the show and he had me buried in dirt up to my neck.

It was funny, you know. So it's like, no, that didn't happen. Right. Just you made the next step, you know. Yeah, it's a common thing. I think we can connect that to Bigfoot. People, they just make shit up. Right?

All right. What do you want me to do? I don't want you to say anything, man. I don't want you to say anything. Look, like I said, I would lose sleep for days if Bigfoot turned out to be true.

I'd be so happy. But, I'll say this, then that's good. Look, if someone hit one with a car and it died and they had definitive proof

that there is a real gigantopithecus and you see some fucking you know land cruiser that's smashed by some gigantic ape that just wandered out of the forest holy shit i'd be happy i'd be so happy a despondent one yeah well not even if it was no no i just jumped in front of a truck going through a bad breakup. You made Jamie laugh out loud. I think that, I mean, I think I could honestly say it would be one of the happiest moments of my life. If they found a Bigfoot, if they captured a Bigfoot. I mean, if we were watching on television and we were seeing like some footage from some containment area where they had these giant steel bars like Kong.

And they had this huge, 10-foot-tall wandering gorilla. I like your Harry and the Hendersons one better. Which one was that? It just gets hit by a car. Is that what happened in Harry and the Hendersons? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I much would rather have that than this animal sadly captured. One of my favorite hoax stories is a guy in Montana put a ghillie suit on and tried to fake that he was Bigfoot.

And one teenager ran him over one way and another teenager ran him over the other way. So he got hit on one side, blam, on one side of the road. Then another teenager the other way ran him over, which is hilarious. You know, it's like, well, he died doing what he loved. over and then hilarious you know it's like well he died doing what he loved you know i mean like that funeral had to be like the you know yeah the the chuckles the clown the the mary tyler moore you know i mean it's just like yeah he was dressed up trying to fake out on meth wearing a ghillie suit hanging on the side of the road this is gonna be'm Bigfoot. This is going to be funny. Blam. The girl ran him over.

She saw Bigfoot. She just turned the wheel towards him. I'm going to be rich. Bam. I think, well, when we find Bigfoot. When? When. So much confidence.

Yeah. I'll be back on. You know, they're talking about using drones, sending drones over the skies well you know that the canopy wouldn't yeah you wouldn't be able to see shit yeah that's ridiculous that's the only

the most compelling thing about it is that you just the territory's so dense it's so huge but there's nothing man they don't even have a hair not a single piece of evidence nothing did you ever see the do you know about Jimmy Stewart's wife Jimmy Stewart the comedian They don't even have a hair. Not a single piece of evidence. Nothing. I just can't imagine. Do you know about Jimmy Stewart's wife? Jimmy Stewart the comedian?

Jimmy Stewart the actor. Famous actor, comic actor? His wife smuggled a Yeti finger in her underpants. What? Out of the Himalayas. She put it in her pussy? Is that what you're saying? No, no.

She put it in her underpants. Why would she put it in her underpants? Only in the back. No, she wasn't wearing the underpants. It was on the side. It was in her, it was like her luggage and she had like, and she's. I'm so confused. And she smuggled.

It's like, imagine what she smelled like after she got home. That's hers? Well, a piece of this finger. Come on. What is that? And she smuggled it. Yeti researcher, Peter Byrne, learned of Yeti hand and his scalp on display at a remote Buddhist monastery yeah but when they none other than Hollywood actor Jimmy Stewart yeah his wife smuggled it

no and then and then recently there's been a DNA study and it's not a Yeti it was what is it it's a Buddhist monks hand is that what it is dude? Yeah, but I'm more fascinated about Jimmy Stewart's wife smuggled crazy what she thought was a yeti Yeah, and Jimmy Stewart was part of it. Well, how big was the fucking? Involved in this I know damn big yeti's hands would be yeah, Jesus Christ Well, this this monk he had big uh big hands well that was another thing about hold on look at this jamie google this there was a um they found one of the one of the reasons why people saw a yeti is that there was a bear in the himalayas that was thought to be long extinct

and it turns out that it may not be and it it was a different kind of Eurasian bear, some large bear. Is it a white bear? I mean, is it like a polar bear? I don't know. I don't know. But, you know, look, when you're looking at things in the snow. This was fascinating to me once. See if you can find that.

I was in the woods with these guys, and we're looking at trail cam footage. And there's a, it almost looks like a weasel. It's called a merit. And it was supposed to be extinct. And so this guy's showing me this footage. And he shows, oh, yeah, this is a merit, you know. There hasn't been one in 50 years, and this and that. And he goes, but take a look at the snow.

He buries the lead and he goes, this looks like a footprint. You know, he clicks past it. It's like, dude, you found, he's showing me all this footage. So he found an extinct animal. Yeah, this must be extinct. Yeah, it's a merit. And then he click, click, click, click. Take a look at this, you know, we're looking at a footprint in snow

and not concentrating on the fact that he found an extinct animal. Swear to God. I was like, you're burying the lead. You found an animal that was supposed to be dead. But we're looking at white, might be Bigfoot Duke. But did he absolutely positively identify that as a merit, though? Yeah. Wow.

So this was like huge news then. He didn't seem to give a rat's ass. So did he report it? Yeah. He did. So now they know this animal isn't extinct. Exactly. Well, there's been some cases of that before.

You know what I mean? Oh, that happens a lot. But, I mean, my point is this is the thing. As much as I love the Bigfoot community, I don't know if you've ever gone and tried to get them to talk about anything else they don't talk about anything else they can't it's all of a sudden it's like it's like it's really weird like if you bring up something say hey do you guys see the new yeah adventures movie well it's so compelling to them because this is this thing that they've been searching with no reward. There's no reward.

And they keep looking and it never happens. Well, there's the women. The Bigfoot community women? Yeah. Are there like groupies in the Bigfoot community? I told the women that went with me. I said, really, you know, it's just no necklines. You guys aren't going to get out of there alive.

You got to burk it up. I really did. I said, you haven't gone in one of these before. I don't want to see anyone's figures. Yeah. What is the most compelling thing to you? Is it eyewitness evidence? Yeah.

I love that. I love that even if someone's lying to me, if that's the case. Listening to someone telling me a story that they believe is true. I don't think it's someone lying to me. It's my favorite part of finding Bigfoot. When they go to some town community, some community in some small town, and they start talking to them in the community center and asking them,

how many of you here have had a Bigfoot encounter and they know the cameras there so they're all like they all raise their hand when we were doing this thing i was doing this thing for cbs it's called game show in my head and what it was is it was a game show we put this little earpiece in people and the game shows we would send them out into a pre we created this scenario they didn't know what it was going to be until they got out there. So they'd be standing there and then I'd say, all right, here's the deal. You are a news reporter and you have been sent here to do a report on someone who has seen a UFO. The problem is that person took off. So you need to find a person on the street that will admit that they saw a UFO and they have to tell you that they were taken aboard that UFO and probed.

If you can get someone to do that on camera, you'll win. And you make the money. Because it was like a series of tasks they had to do. They all did it. Yeah. Everybody they asked did it. They all fucking did it. And I was watching these people.

And that was the first straw in what broke the camel's back to me that a lot of these stories are bullshit because i was watching these people come up with these fucking stories on the fly they weren't actors they weren't alerted of it in advance where they prepared a story they just hey um i'm in a bind i'm a reporter right we were sent down here and these people just ran with it years ago tom kenney did that for uh he would uh ask people he was doing the same thing, saying that there's this new movie coming out starring Danny DeVito. And he would just keep piling on. And they go, oh, Danny is so funny. No, it's, his mother dies.

It's so sad seeing Danny DeVito. Oh, they would just change it? Oh, they would, yeah. Oh, God. And it's so sad seeing danny to be they'll just change it oh they would yeah they would yeah and it's it's uh yeah if people find out that they're going to be interviewed and they find out they're on camera they will do all kinds of crazy things to comply with whatever the narrative is it's real weird man and so when you're interviewing people and ask them about ufos or ask them about bigfoot just the camera and the fact when you're interviewing people and ask them about ufos or ask them about bigfoot just the camera and the fact that you're filming alone it changes the reality of whatever their story would or wouldn't be it changes it gets adjusted it it becomes a giant factor

in whatever the story is the fact there's a camera on them well i i believe on the other side of things doing like um after doing call me lucky i learned a lot about uh and you probably know this obviously already most people want to tell you their story and most people do you know i mean if if you don't even have to do too much you don't have to make someone uncomfortable you don't have to even be probing too much. Most people do want to be heard. Most people will tell you really personal things. I'm not talking about Barry, but I'm talking about the other folks that supported the movie.

Right. And I learned when I was doing that doc that the key was that I had to shut up and I had to listen, which as a nightclub comedian was really hard. And I had to listen, which as a nightclub comedian was really hard. How about that? I got to wrap up. I was up all morning. But let me just bring up this topic. You're on the road a lot.

Yeah. When guys come in, and women, they come in the green room and you're in their club, you're in their hometown, and there's a whole bunch of local guys and they're nice and stuff. You're in their club, you're in their hometown, and there's a whole bunch of local guys, and they're nice and stuff. But when they start talking about stand-up, does it bore you to tears, or are you engaged in it? It really depends. Like, who's coming in the green room? Other comics? Yeah, yeah. They want to come up, and they want to start talking to me about comedy and talking smack about other comics. And I'm like, if you have any idea how much I'm checked out right now.

Well, for me, the real problem is like green rooms before a show. I'm trying to get my head together. I'm not really into talking to anybody. I'm into going over my notes. Yeah, figuring out. And I want to do a good show. Yeah. So if someone comes in and they get in the way, that's my prep time.

Well, you actually say, hey, man, step out. I don't usually have very many people come to visit. Really? I'm always hosting this thing. I don't know what it is. And I'm always just like, I will talk about anything other than that. And I shouldn't admit this publicly, but when people come up to me and they bring up police academy swear to god often often i'm i'm i'm thinking of committing harikari while they're talking to me

i'm not even kidding you like i i said oh that's great how old were you when you saw it and i'm just thinking that i'm and no i'm really and i'm pulling my entrails out under their shoes that's the thought that carries you through the conversation? Yeah, it makes me laugh. Like I'm thinking, yeah, I'm thinking, oh, that's great. I'm glad you liked it. I'm just thinking that I'm pulling my small intestine all over their feet. Yeah, you just kind of eat it.

Well, we all do. We all have that. Yeah, for me it's fear factor. Fear factor. People start talking about fear factor. And you're polite? Yeah. Oh, cool, man.

Thanks. I'm glad you like the show. But then after a while you're like. Yeah, for a lot of people it's like Factor people start talking about Fear Factor and you're polite yeah oh cool man thanks I'm glad you like the show but then after a while you're like yeah for a lot of people it's like when they were kids they were like in high school and they loved Fear Factor

for me they told me how tall they were I was this big why would I give a fuck about how tall you were when you watched Police Academy why

why what do you like talking to comics like peers about stand up like if you run into someone that's like no I just find it you you like talking to comics, um, like peers about standup? Like if you run into someone that's like, no,

I just find it. It's like, yeah, it's like, it's like talking about fucking, it's like, you know, you don't like talking about like the creative process or writing or roadblocks or motivation or anything like that.

No, you're still like talking about it. It's just, it's just, it's this thing. And it's, it's, I thing, and I don't feel like gossiping about it. I like telling stories. I love hearing funny stories back and forth. That's great.

A lot of laughs. But dissecting comedy for some reason is just so uninteresting to me. Well, you know, it's understandable. I mean, would you start in like 81 or something like that? Yeah, I mean, I started when I was 15 and 16. I got on Letterman when I was 20. How old was, I mean, what year was that? It was probably like 82.

Yeah, think about that, man. That is a long fucking time. Yeah. You know, I mean, it only makes sense that you would be bored with it. Yeah. But you still enjoy doing it. I do. See, so it's just you're still

But I started to like it when I jettisoned the persona. I even remember that. Like, I thought I hated, I thought I hated the wacky morning shows and, you know, Taint and T-Bag in the morning and I thought I hated, you know, all that stuff and the clubs and this and that.

And I was just like, oh, I hate this character. I remember the day it happened. It was like an epiphany. I was at Zaney's in Nashville. Love that place. And I was like, and I knew that I couldn't do it. I had to go on as me. And I made that decision.

And so you went on stage. And people were yelling, you know, do the voice. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. And it changed. Everything shifted after that. What year was this?

It was probably like 10 years ago, maybe longer. Yeah, I would say it's probably, yeah, around 10 years ago. And it changed for me. And then I liked it again. That's cool. Well, there's some guys that just get trapped in a persona. We were just talking about Emo Phillips the other night because emo phillips is apparently back to his persona he let it go for a long time and he just started just being a guy on stage talking about

shit apparently the people weren't into that and so he's like all right give the people what they want that's the story i tell by the way i should just clarify this is what i've heard i haven't seen him but this is like um you know robin was uh williams was my best pal and and uh he got me a job on on a snickers commercial and i needed bread and he was so nice he's like oh you know you know so i want you to use my friend you know bobcat you know he's got to be in it you know and they're like and they're like you, he actually put their feet on the fire and they had to hire me. And then he goes, don't take the first money, just wait.

Tell them no. So I tell them no and then they came back with more money. I mean, he was great, right? So then he calls me up and he goes, they're going to want you to do the voice. Are you okay doing the voice? And I go, for the amount of money Snickers is paying i will fuck a snickers behind camera

by the way i should say it's a really good candy bar it's my all-time favorite yeah you know i i said i was gonna go but there's something i will will address a little bit and talk about you know rob, Robin had his coronary report came out, and he had Lewy body dementia. And that is a form of dementia that is very rarely ever discovered when someone's alive. It's usually discovered in their autopsy. So he had this form of dementia. I witnessed it. It was missed diagnosis,osed as Parkinson's.

Oh. And I witnessed this. I witnessed his processing reality completely different than the way everybody else does. What causes it? I'm not sure if it's a gene or what but i mean his sadly his brain was riddled with this and so when i think about that i think about how strong he was you know you would have like some days you'd have a lot of days where he was doing kind of ocd stuff and and and processing things incorrectly but then you'd have a day where he was back. So you'd go, oh, well, maybe it's...

Just had a bad day. Or, no, maybe it's the Parkinson's drugs and they've got to get those dialed in. You know, he was going to doctors, he was in therapy, he was doing... And it's just the only reason I talk about that is his brain was giving him misinformation, complete misinformation.

And I don't... And people die from depression and uh and my heart goes out to them but that's not what killed him he he he really was getting misinformation from his own brain and was suffering from this disease so i just put that out there because i folks know that we were friends and they'll ask me about it. And I would like a spotlight put on the disease that actually, in my mind, was what was responsible for its demise. Because, you know, a lot of people say, did you ever talk about suicide? I go, we're comics.

We talked about suicide for 33 years. Sometimes we talk about other shit. You know, it's like, hey, congratulations on we talked about suicide for 33 years. Sometimes we talk about other shit. It's like, hey, congratulations on the Oscar. Oh, thank you. How would you do it? I don't know. I'd take a car. I'd take a car.

But I just say that because he fought. That's what we do. I don't know about you, but a comic, that's what we do. We fight depression. Things don't add up. This world doesn't seem right, and we go out and we spew about it and I feel better on a selfish level I don't really give a rat's ass

on the ground you know I vent and I feel better and and and he fought it

and that wasn't it wasn't depression it wasn't career it wasn't you know he'd been sober most of his adult life you know

so it's very disturbing to me that a lot of people were trying to attribute all sorts of reasons It wasn't career. It wasn't, you know, he'd been sober most of his adult life, you know, so, so. It's very disturbing to me that a lot of people are trying to attribute all sorts of reasons for why he did it. And even there was a lot of like, um, men's rights groups that were attributing it to, uh, his divorce settlements. Oh brother. Yeah.

There was a whole thing where this guy was doing this video and I even talked to him about it. But it's, it's, it's, it's, he had, Yeah,

a disease. He had a disease that caused dementia that I witnessed. I didn't have anybody I talked to more. You know, I talked to him

in text and every day. I didn't have a buddy that I talked to more. So me it it it wasn't a divorce right it wasn't it wasn't his family it wasn't we have the same agent so like when this guy was saying this one of the reason why it pissed me off because this guy was saying that you know he's in financial ruins like no he wasn't no he was wealthy yeah yeah and also it's it's uh it's yeah i mean no one wants to uh because as human beings we're trying to make sense of of

of why why that happened and why that happened in my opinion which is right was his brain was who would know more than you? His brain was getting misinformation and he was processing reality completely wrong. I mean, I won't go into details, but I did witness him thinking things that weren't real were happening. And to me in the middle of the night. And that's the other thing. Like people say, oh, he wasn't in the same bedroom as his wife it's like yeah because he was having seizures and he didn't like to wake her up oh god it's not a question of somebody not getting along i didn't mean to get so personal i don't mean and i don't mean to talk about about his his uh that's okay

his home life because you know susan's a wonderful gal wonderful gal and it's just sad. Yeah. No, it's awful. One of the scariest things is talking to someone who's, whether it's a loved one, a point, but I don't think they, they take his, his kids into consideration and, and friends and people worked with him for all these years. And I guess I can't expect them to, you know, I mean, I'm sure I've taken shots at people when they pass away, but it's just, it's like people would come up and they go, did you

hear what, did you hear what Rush Limbaugh said? And I'd be like, I don't care what Rush Limbaugh says. I'm dealing with people who dealt with him on a daily basis. Let me ask you this. What is this impulse that people have to denigrate people right after they die? It's almost like everyone else is talking about them. I saw a lot of that with Prince when it was revealed that Prince was suffering through opiate addiction.

Yeah. And I was like, there was like even Gene Simmons said some crazy shit and he had to apologize. And I'd seen some other people say it too, but what it's almost like it's a crunch, a contrarian thing. Like everyone else is saying,

Oh my God, we lost this genius. Well, you get heat from it and i'm sure in gene simmons is you know i'm sure there's a jealousy thing but you say look i used to say outrageous things about people and and this bomb would go off and i would get i would get some heat and i get some buzz you know right um and i stopped doing that i made a decision i got you know realizing that these weren't't just harmless things I was saying.

Right, right, right. You just, yeah. I think, you know, it was, yeah. Because there was a lot of that when Kurt Cobain died, too, right? But, you know, and that's the, I wasn't besties with Kurt, but I did know him. I toured with Nirvana. Yeah. And Kurt liked my stand-up and asked me to go on the road with them. I wasn't besties with Kurt, but I did know him. I toured with Nirvana. Kurt liked my standup and asked me to go on the road with them.

I did a bunch of dates. Yeah, we talked about it. But I, I mean, it wasn't like the situation with Robin, but I did have times in my life where I spent hours with Kurt with no one else

sitting around talking and laughing, you know. I don't know why we want to do that i think i think i think we're trying to make sense of it i think we're trying to make sense of it i think i think that's where a lot of conspiracies come from i think when when someone who's in our mind reached the american dream and then they die or look die or take their life or overdose. We have to say, well, they had it all, and that's what we believe is the ultimate fulfillment and happiness. You know, America is the People's Republic of spring break.

You know, no one's pursuing fulfillment. Everyone's pursuing happiness. You know, there's two different things. I'm really fulfilled. Am I happy? Am I laughing all day am i no but you're happy sometimes i'm happy a lot of the time yeah well i've never been happier you like if i didn't know that you're this nuanced guy that's very thoughtful and you have a lot of opinions and you're always considering all sorts of if i just took like if i tried to form a view of you based on you and I talking, we're always laughing.

I would say, Bobcat's so jolly. Every time I talk to him, it's like laughs and hugs. But it is true. Because we never see each other before noon, first of all. But it's a daily reprieve. It's a daily decision. I get up. The squirrels are up before I do.

And I beat them down. And then it turns. And when I'm directing on a set, I'm like, I can react and fear. Or I can just sit here for a second or two. And it always usually works out. Very rarely do I have to say, no, man. You just sit there. I think so much of show business is everything's based on fear

and people thinking someone's going to say you screwed up or you didn't do it right or you didn't get extra takes and all that stuff. But, man, my job is really not to freak out. I'm really happy right now. Well, that's beautiful, man. I think you're doing some awesome work. I really do. I often tell people to quit, you know, because that's, again, that's very un-American.

Never quit. Never give up. It's like quit, quit, quit, quit. And then until you end up someplace where you don't want to leave. Right. And that's what I've done. Quit everything that doesn't feel right. That doesn't.

You know, when I made the decision not to go on auditions, it was scary. And it became the best thing that ever happened to me. All of a sudden, I'm freed up and I'm writing screenplays and I'm doing, you know. It's like, what am I trying to get on? You know, who's your daddy or whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? A bird in the hand or whatever the fuck. You know, what am I doing?

What am I doing? Right. You know? Yeah. But you find your voice, you know what am i doing what am i doing right you know yeah but but you find your voice you know i mean it's interesting now to to see the stuff you're doing and the funny thing to me is like someone in interviews and because i make about a movie every year every year and a half and they're like so so what is the you know what is who's who are you competing with what other filmmaker are you competing with i'm like i'm competing with a grim fucking reaper.

I just figured this out like 10 years ago, what I want to do. That's what motivates me. How old are you now? I'm 53. I'll be 54 soon. And so when you run around, you hit 40, you're like, yay, this fucking thing's ticking.

Oh, man. And I write a lot, and i write screenplays that'll never get made but i just write them to get them out of me you know well listen man that's what that's what it's about really it's about whatever it is that you're compelled to do that you can do that you're talented at and then pursuing that and just fuck all the rest of it you know and i see it and people hear us say this and they think that, well, it's easy for you guys. You had this other career and all this stuff. It's like, no, not really.

I mean, I come with baggage. Do you think the first movie I sent to Sundance, people didn't go, you know what I mean? Right. Hey, Zed from Police Academy made a movie. Let's watch this. You know what I mean? So sure, we have a lot of foot. We have a lot of foot you know we have a

lot of things are easier on some ways but then there's baggage yeah well there's just I guess that's with anybody that's been in the public eye for a long period of time especially again a guy like you that's a nuanced guy there's a lot going on there's there's there's happy stuff and there's anger and there's silly shit there's mockery and then there's happy stuff and there's anger and there's silly shit and there's mockery. And then there's like really important points you want to make, you know. And then there's mistakes. Yeah.

And there's impulses. And we've all had those. But that's the best part. Yeah. I don't know. If I was on a set and I felt people weren't having an enjoyable time, not that it needs to be a party, but if people felt compromised, it would really bother me. Oh, for sure. Like if you were having an actor do a part that they just really didn't believe in and thought the piece was bad.

And if the process got, it was unpleasant. I mean, my sets are usually pretty ridiculous. I'm the one that's probably internalizing, but it's very, you know, I can't explain it. Like when I was on Kimmel, you know i'm the one that's probably internalizing but it's very you know i can't explain it like um like when i was on kimmel you know i remember once i i spent eight thousand dollars and i bought 10 tons of snow and put it in the parking lot for christmas you know and jimmy looks out the window goes what is that what is that is that is disney have a i go no i bought snow for everybody. It's like playing snow.

Oh, my God. We went sledding. We made ramps. We had the hugest snowball fight. You know, life's short. I remember once everybody wanted to kill each other, so I rented one of those giant balloon bounces. And, you know, everybody just bounced around, it was nobody. There was no pressure on the set anymore. Do you did you like doing that show or was it just I really I really I really liked it a lot.

And then then I actually loved it. And then when I started to realize I was. Honestly, I'll be really honest right now. When I started to feel like I was starting to phone it in, I was like going, this is not fair to my friend. Right. Who I love. You know, I love Kimmel.

We did a lot of directing, right? You did, well, I ran into you in New York when you were doing the Chappelle show. Worked on Chappelle. The very first episode. Well, I woodworked at the beginning. And Dave Chappelle is not crazy that's the other thing

that drives me nuts you know because he walked away but I saw those people micromanage him and drive him nuts they were so rude no Dave's not crazy

he's a friend of mine I love Dave he's a very very brilliant guy yeah very smart and aware and has the cojones to do what you said

to quit to walk away from 50 million bucks. I'm uncomfortable saying this story, but I don't know. I'm just trying to use that. Because I know the semantics of the language. I'll just say what happened. People can make whatever.

But I was directing that show, and white commie central executives came down and asked me. They said, can you tell Dave not to say nigger so much? And I said, Dave, the white commie central executives in front of him would like you not to say nigger so much. And Dave goes, Bobcat, pshaw. What did you say? It was really weird and awkward. And then they left. I intentionally thought, well, this will be embarrassing for them.

This is exactly what you told me. Oh, good. Because, yeah, I don't think I've ever come forward with that story. But, yeah, I'm witness to that insanity. Well, as the show became more and more successful, apparently what had happened was advertisers were skittish about being involved even though even though it's gangbusters ratings they still were like he's keep saying the n-word and toyota doesn't really want to be involved with the n-word we don't know what to do and so um you know they took

in my opinion the greatest sketch comedy show of all time i don't think there's anything that comes close i think there's two years it close. I think it was two years. It's one of my greatest accomplishments as an actor, because I don't really like much of what I did except for news radio. But one of the greatest accomplishments, me, is like, I feel like I was on the greatest show of all time. I did a couple sketches on the greatest show of all time. I really think that show was the all-time most innovative and hilarious sketch comedy show ever.

most innovative and hilarious sketch comedy show ever. From the haters ball, like the haters convention, to the black, blind, white supremacist that didn't know it, to, I mean, you could go down the list to Rick James. Racial Draft. Racial Draft. Yeah. I mean, he had so many killer, killer, killer bits. They were just, they were so original. He's brilliant. Well, that's one of the

most offensive things about what's going on now. Like, there's so much rehashed and regenerated and just, they just take, like, a script, take a sketch from MADtv and they sort of rework it and spit it out today on some new show, and it's fucking gross.

I mean, that's what you're seeing. I mean, what Amy Schumer's getting accused of, you know, what you're seeing i mean what amy schumer is getting accused of you know what you're seeing over and over again and they keep showing these sketches well here was a sketch that was on mad tv here was a sketch that was on this here was a sketch you never saw that with chappelle with chappelle all those sketches were unique and unusual yeah and it was also kind of uh the funny thing was also also in the editing process, following the ball, we would discover stuff that was just funny. I can't explain it. It's like we're cutting this Mitsubishi commercial, and her breast came out during the filming and not per the script.

And you just see Dave's eyes go right down. So he busted himself. He actually, during the wraparound, showed what he'd done. That's hilarious. And it was beautiful. It was beautiful because he was busting himself. Yeah, it was really weird for him to be. It just drives me nuts when people

act like he's crazy because oh yeah i think he's super sane and uh brilliant and really nice well whenever a black guy goes to africa you go oh he's fucking lost it right right what is he doing he went to africa to try to find peace jesus christ they offered him 50 million bucks and he went to africa he lost his mind He lost his fucking mind. Yeah. That's the thing that people, yeah. When you, again, what I was saying, you know, fulfillment versus, you know, this idea of just having a 24-hour orgasm and, you know. Yeah.

It's ridiculous. We don't pursue being fulfilled, which is the whole jam. Right. Well, it's a tricky little dance because. Because we have to pay bills and we have to raise our kids and we have to be responsible. But you know this, every time you take that leap, every time you go, well, this is really scary. Every time it pays off. Yeah.

I've never taken the leap. I've taken leaps where I did what I thought people wanted or I thought might work or might be successful. That always works terribly. But I've just said, I've got to tell this story

because this is the story that I'm interested in right now. Right. That's always paid off. Absolutely. How's it paid off? Am I rich?

No, but you know. Fulfilled. I sit there and I connect with a small group of people and that's pretty amazing. Beautiful. That's it. The end. Good night, everybody. Bobcat Colwood, ladies and gentlemen.

Give it up. Give it up. Thanks, brother. Thank you, man. It was a lot of fun, man. I'm glad we did it. That was great. And we ended with the headphones on. Notice that? We didn't even notice. We didn't even notice we had it. We kept them on. Oh, is this thing still recording?

Gary Johnson, tomorrow, presidential candidate, Gary Johnson, 9 a.m. See you, Fox.