The Joe Rogan Experience - #831 - Byron Bowers

Episode Date: August 9, 2016

Byron Bowers is a stand up comedian, who can be seen performing all over the country including The Comedy Store in Hollywood, CA.

Byron Bowers ladies and gentlemen hey what's going on what's up brother man thank you for having me my pleasure what's the latest and the greatest with Byron you've been traveling all over the place man I check your Instagram out uh man I just got back from the Dominican Republic uh what um a few days ago and uh it was a very interesting experience. Yeah? Yeah. Like, anytime you go somewhere tropical, you're like, man, this place is beautiful. And then by that third day,

you'd be like, man, this is horrible. The politics, the way they treat people. Oh, yeah. So you see the balance of, you know, everything. Especially as a, you know, being from where I'm from and being black and what's going on. I'm always in exotic places when cops are killing black people.

So it pulls you out of the situation and lets you see how, you know, fucked up things are for like Haitian people. Well, yeah. I mean, pretty much every third world country deals with all kinds of fucked up shit. Yeah. Like way worse than we have it here. It puts things into perspective. Like I often think like if the United States wasn't established just a few hundred years ago, if that didn't happen, like what would the world be like?

Like would most of the world be like a lot of these countries that you visit where you deal with insane police corruption? Like I've had friends that have been pulled over in mexico and you know the the cops basically just straight up tell you like do you want to get out of this give me some fucking money yeah i think i had a situation like that uh coming through tsa but i didn't realize until they let me go. But they held me for a long time. Where? In Dominican Republic, because I had on a button up shirt that's denim, like the one I'm wearing now.

And they was like, take your jacket off. And I'm pre-checked. So when you become pre-checked, it's like a white privilege. And I'm like, I'm not taking off my shirt. This is not a jacket. This is a shirt. So in the Dominican Republic, you're doing this? And I'm flogged out on glasses and stuff. And they was like, oh, OK. Oh, it is a shirt so in the Dominican Republic yeah doing this and I'm fly

got on glasses and stuff and they was like oh okay oh it's a shirt huh come through and as soon as I came through they was like this your bag and they started trying to take my cologne like yeah that's flammable you can't take that on the plane or my umbrella yeah you can't take umbrellas on the plane that's a weapon sorry and they just held there. And we just made eye contact with each other. I'm like, show me on the chart. That's all I kept saying. And then after a while, they was like, you know what? You could take it.

You know? So after a while, they just gave up? Yeah, they gave up. Because I was like, OK, if I check the bag, can I take everything? And they was like, yeah. So what I did, I unloaded all my bags and started rearranging things so I could put it, so I could check it and make it back to America. But once they saw me doing that and they saw how neat I was and like every time they touch something, I had to put it back a certain way. They like it's just going to be a waste of time for even us.

Yeah. But don't they have rules like we have rules as far as like how many ounces of liquid and stuff like that you could take on a plane? They do, but I made it over there. So that's why I was trying to get them to explain to me like why exactly. Yeah, but it probably made it over there because the people that work at TSA over here are fucking barely paying attention. Well, you know, I take it everywhere. I take it everywhere. How big is your cologne? First of all, cologne is stinky, man.

What are you wearing that shit for? I love it. I know you disagree with cologne, you know what I mean? I disagree. It's a political point. I disagree with cologne. You're more alpha, though, you know what I mean? You can choke them out with your muscles and I can choke them with the smell. Okay. I'm not exactly sure where to go with that. How big is the cologne that you bring on? Probably like three point something ounces.

Okay, so I think you could bring on like four ounces of liquid. Yeah. Isn't that how it works? Yep. In a toiletry bag? Yeah, it was in a toiletry bag. Now mind you, I went from Montreal too. So I went from New York to Montreal, here to the Dominican Republic.

So this same luggage has been like everywhere. So what were you doing down to the Dominican Republic so this same luggage has been like everywhere so what were you doing down Dominican Republic oh I met up with some friends of mine from college some African homeboys and I really hopped in on their trip because they visit the DR a lot and I wanted to see what it was like and I snorkeled a lot. I came back sore. But yeah, I did a lot of time in the water. Morning, evening, and late afternoon. Well, it's beautiful for that. Yeah. That's one of the cool things about those tropical climates.

The oceans down there are amazing. The oceans are amazing. Some of the reefs wasn't as, you know, not like when I was in Jamaica or when I like in Hawaii where everything just comes alive and it looks like a city. But it definitely you do feel like you landed on another planet to me and I'm flying like I'm cruising over, you know, the terrain. You mean when you're swimming? When I swim. Yeah. Anytime I snorkel like it's that it's that other world experience to me. Swimming. When I swim, yeah.

Anytime I snorkel, like, it's that other world experience to me. Yeah, man, I'm a big fan of the water, but the sharks fuck it up for me. Yeah. I'm just not into getting eaten. Well, yeah, that's the thing about it. Sometimes I keep looking around, like, especially if it's not a lot of things in the water. But I saw squid. That was the most beautiful thing I saw from this trip was just like 40 baby squid all lined up in a row that looked like they'd just been born, you know, and they were just there. And I didn't even know they were squid. I thought it was like fish with interesting fins because it looked like, you know, like a lady just doing her dress like that.

Because it looked like a lady just doing her dress like that. And when I got close, I realized that I was at the tentacle part. And I just locked eyes with them. And I was like, oh, this is the most beautiful thing. Do you know Duncan Trezor? Yeah. Duncan has this new virtual reality thing. It's a virtual. It's called the HTV Vive.

And you put it on. And you actually feel like you're underwater. They have this program, I think it's called Deep Blue or something like that, something blue. But you put it on, and one of the reality programs that you put on is an ocean one. You're standing at the bottom of this ocean area, and these fish swim by. It's not 100 percent realistic because the graphics aren't totally there yet yeah but it's like 85 realistic that's amazing a whale pulls up to you and you get to look at the whale like you look in its eyes but like i don't know if

you ever used any kind of virtual reality i'm pretty new to it too yeah but you get a full 360 degrees like you can look down 360 degrees. Like you can look down, you can look up, you can look everywhere. So this whale, as it's in front of you, you could choose different spots on the whale that you look at. You can look at its eyes. You can look at its tail. It's fucking fascinating. And it lets you know that, you know, within a hundred years from now, probably not even probably like 20, within 20 years from now oh this is it is this the program so this is it right here so you you stand there and you're looking around like that dude's just looking around with these goggles on yeah and this is what you're seeing i mean you're seeing it feels like

the actual ocean yeah that's uh that's basically what it that's basically what it looks and feels like, you know. That's beautiful right there. It's crazy that that's, what is it, like 79% of the earth or something like that? Yeah, when we looked it up the other day, it was over 70% of the earth is water and 95% of that is ocean water. That's amazing. It's almost like how they say our bodies are made up of the same. Not quite.

I think a body is like 60%. They used to say it was like 90% water. Find out what that is. I think the human body is actually like 60% water. Something like that? Maybe. But I've experienced virtual reality, the one where you could just travel everywhere around the world. 65.

Average human bodies between 50 and 65% water. Averaging around 57 to 60%. Average percentage of water in infants is much higher, typically around 75 to 78% water. Huh. That makes sense. Dropping to 65 by one year of age. The little water balloons. It's probably why the skin gets crazy

like the older we get, the water's dropping in it. The water's dropping in it? Yeah. Like I said, the percentage goes down the older you get. Oh, man, you're probably just drinking too much. Or get wrinkles and stuff like that.

Yeah, that's actually collagen. That's the wrinkle thing. It's the elasticity of your skin gives out. Your body stops producing collagen correctly. But you can mitigate some of that with, like, moisture. And, you know, like, some people use creams and shit like that. But at the end of the day, time wins. Time wins.

I definitely use creams. I use creams. Do you? I use lotion. Creams and cologne. Yeah, I use lotion. All things that stink. All things. Well, I can't use ds and cologne. Yeah, I use lotion. All things that stink. All things.

Well, I can't use dyes and perfumes in my lotions. How come? It dries my skin and I don't make it break out. Perfumes in lotions, but you can wear cologne. Yeah, I wear cologne. Cologne lasts a certain amount of hours. And it lands on your skin, so, you know. Look at you.

You should be in a cologne commercial. Yeah. It lands on your skin so delicately. Have you being clone crush oh yeah it lands on your skin so dedicated have you always worn cologne uh no well once i got into it my my mom like i was raised by my mom like our sense of smell is just so strong you know so it was always fragrance around and to me that's the first like that that can alter your your mindset or your mode like when you smell something good yeah yeah it's an anchor it can cause like a like a mental trigger yeah like it brings you back to that place like certain smells like smell of apple pie if your mom cooked apple pie or something like

that you could smell it and immediately transport you back to that good place yeah or bad place or bad place like yeah like i like like sexy smells so i like to be reminded of something that's pleasant like a woman smells yeah you know so i don't wear like hardcore masculine i like the smell like a rose like you like to smell like a rose i like to smell like something fresh like that you know i'm learning a lot about you byron like yeah it takes me two hours to pick out my fragrance you know i mean what hold on it takes you two hours to pick out your fragrance yeah is this in a day or like when you go to a fragrance store when i when i went to the fragrance store so you're that dude just wandering around there touching this one yeah smelling it yeah and if i don't get like a

small like erection like a little erection a little erection yeah like if it don't turn me on in a sense then i just it's not the one huh but you know it just like you know like when you feel the energy of a lady or you know whatever you're attracted to or the sound of a motor when it goes by you know i mean well i'm with you on that yeah yeah they've said that on with engines it actually like when you hear an engine revving it actually raises men's testosterone but why i wonder why it's uh it's like i don't know for anybody ever driven a car with pipes which is rare in california to have custom pipes but you think it's rare yeah to be like for as far as like loud and those fucking things are everywhere really yeah they crack down

on them here it's not like in georgia like i'm from georgia where you can oh you can get a honda and put an open exhaust i have a quarter inch and take the stuff off yeah see that's stupid if you got a honda yeah you shouldn't do that if you have a four-cylinder that's awful i did that before but my friend had a cobra mustang 68 and you can hear that car coming down the street but when you hear in a real car with a real motor it's almost like a like a tiger growling or something or it's just an energy you want to release when you press the gas yeah you know so that it makes you it just does something to you want to release when you press the gas. Yeah. Ha! Ha! You know? So that, it makes you, it just does something to you. What's little explosions?

I mean, it's control explosions, essentially. I mean, that's what an engine is, right? It's just this steel explosion container. Yeah. And all these pistons are in there, and they're all firing. I don't know. As much as I know about cars, I really should know more about, like, how engines work. Like, I really don't know. As much as I know about cars, I really should know more about how engines work. I really don't know that much.

I kind of know there's some, you got to have camshafts and you got to have some cylinders and there's spark plugs and ignite some shit and there's some fire explosions going off. I don't really know. No, you know more about me when it comes to cars. I know the simple, like fuel air, and spark gets it going. That's it. Yeah. Yeah.

The simplicity of it. But you're into cars, too. You and I have many car conversations. I definitely like them, but I can't get into wheel displacements and, like, offsets and the correct suspension and the steering. You don't know about all that stuff? No. No? I just know what I like.

Like, body shapes and what it feels like. But don't don't you enjoy like what it feels like when you drive them yeah like you have a nice car when you drive that thing like you know like it has like a certain feel to the way like when you turn corners and stuff like that a certain responsiveness to it yeah that's true i definitely know that but it's not i't dial it in. I can't put that in a computer and be like, you know, like I need my suspension adjusted. Should I go with this coilover set or this coilover set? Well, that's the beautiful thing about the internet, you know. You have a BMW, so you can go to a BMW forum and then you can say, you know, what is the deal with this year three series?

Like what's the best suspension setup for handling? Some people like comfort. Some people like handling. That's the real tradeoff. It's because if you really want the car to sit flat around corners, it has to have a little more stiffness to it. You have to feel everything a little bit more. I feel that, and I like that. I had a 944, an 83, which to me ain't the best,

but it was the best car of our own. Those Porsches are sweet, man. Yeah. Those are underrated cars. To be able to feel a car, to feel the road through this, like you're on a boat, is amazing. A lot of cars don't give you that feeling. The boat feeling. Yeah, like you know the street is uneven when you drive it now.

Instead of just, no, man, the flattest, most paved street street you know you could feel the the wave in it oh because you must have a pretty stiff suspension yeah that car came like that though yeah well those older cars were way more responsive they were way lighter too like if you go to like the the really older Porsches like the old 911s like the long hood models, I think it was like 65 or 64, I think it was, to 73. Those models, they're really light. Like that's a 2,000-pound car a lot of times. So you feel everything when you're bumping around those things.

It feels more like a go-kart, you know? And I was ignorant with mine. Like I had to buy tires for it, and they was like, it's 83. And I'm like, it's 150 horses. I take it to the tire place. They was like, yeah, you need these $150 tires. And I'm like, no, fuck that. This car has only got 150 horses.

Let's put some van tires on it, you know. And I bought two, like, four brand new van tires. What's a van tire? Like, for a van? Like, tires that would go on a van. Why would you do that? Because, to me, it's just a tire. Oh, that's ridiculous. Slipped on the do that because to me it's just a tire oh that's

ridiculous slide slid on the freeway a bunch of times just stopping and wasn't used to a uh not having abs automatic brakes and every time i would stump the the brakes you know the car would slide on the freeway but i would stop in enough distance to where it slide and not hit the car. So you had anti-lock brakes? No, I didn't. I didn't have it. What kind of car was this? A 944. Those didn't have anti-lock brakes?

Nope. Not an 83? That didn't come to like 86? Hmm. Wow. And you put van tires on. Jesus Christ, dude. That's a sacrilege.

That's terrible. It was. It was. But you learn lessons, you know? You learn lessons. Anytime you work on your car, it's terrible. It was. It was. But you learn lessons, you know. You learn lessons. Anytime you work on your car, it's cool, but you learn your lessons. You learn about torque, applying torque to old cars and plastic pieces breaking. Yeah.

And all type of stuff that, you know, antifreeze tastes like. What? You know what antifreeze tastes like? Yeah. What are you drinking antifreeze for? You don't drink it, but you're working on a leak or changing something and it drips and it gets in your mouth. And you're like, oh, I get it. It is sweet.

It's like Kool-Aid almost. Does it really taste like Kool-Aid? Yeah. I have no idea. It looks disgusting. Antifreeze looks nasty. It looks like nuclear fuel or something. Yeah. Antifreeze looks nasty. It looks like nuclear fuel or something.

Yeah, you learn your lesson with cars, you know, while you still can. Those old ones, yeah, they're different. You know, you can actually work on them. You can open up the hood. There's stuff you can change. You can swap out. You can go to Pep Boys or whatever and buy a part. New cars, man, you open up the hood, it's just like a computer. It's like opening up the back of a iMac or yeah

That's true. You have no idea what the fuck's going on there and everything's connected to some sort of you know, computer management system So yeah, three three and the Beamer is three Three what three computers really? Yeah The ignition switch when you put the key in, talks to this module, reads the key code, and it talks back and allows the car to crank. But all that has to go through the main computer also. Wow. And I know that because I know coding, and I studied engineering until my senior year. And I had to snatch a faulty remote start system out of the Beamer when I got it.

So I had to go under the dash and rewire everything. You did all that? Yeah. Wow, why'd you do that? To take it out. But did you know what you were doing? What made you decide to embark on that? That seems like something I would want to take to a dealer.

Well, I learned how to install car stereos. Oh. My friend, when I was younger, he used to steal car radios, and he taught me. Three basic things to start a radio, just like the cars. You know, power, ground. You could turn a radio on, and the remote wire, which makes it switch on and off. But you really don't need a remote wire to test a radio. Just like you got a jump start an engine you know but you know you know you start to learn a pattern of things

just like the universe have patterns when you learn combustion and stuff like that you just the pattern is what's important to me that make sense no the universe has a pattern and yeah like the universe because now i'm on a bigger pattern scale. Right. But to me, yeah, the universe has a pattern of the way it runs to me. You know what I mean? When it comes to seasons and things like that. The revolution of Earth around the sun, you know. But stereos also have that pattern.

That's an interesting comparison. They definitely have, like, whenever you're dealing with electronics, you have to have the power in the ground, and then there's a bunch of other stuff that goes on. I installed some stereos when I was younger, but they were easy back then. It wasn't that hard. It wasn't that complicated.

You could get to everything pretty easily. You could open up the dash pretty easily, pull out the existing stereo, and you just have to figure out where the power is and where the wires connect. You tie everything up. It wasn't that hard. But I would never fuck with a new car. Like a new Lexus or something like that.

Try to take stereo out of one of those things. It's more tough. But if I break it down to you like this. Coding and stuff is all if and statements. Right. If and. If ands. So if this, go there and if and so if this go there yeah if that go here right ones and zeros right if there's one boom here if there's zero boom here right

and it's just a bunch of that going on right computing at one time that's the pattern right you know that's it that's a simple yeah well i mean it's more complicated than that right well there's a lot going on but it's a bunch of those all in one well it's amazing how well these cars work when you really think about it because like um like i have a lexus and uh i have a key that is actually in my wallet it's a credit card and that's my key so i don't ever take a key i just get in my car and it always knows it's me i come near it the light goes on near the side mirrors like the side mirrors have like an underside light the light goes on the handle illuminates let you know you're there it opens for you you get in you just press start and go it's crazy how often it works like it never

fucks up yeah and that's cool. It is cool, but it's just, when you think about how many different things fail, in terms of, like, electronics, you know, like, how many different people's iPhones start fucking up. Most cars, especially when it comes to, like, your car, German engineering or Japanese engineering, something like that, they're so fucking reliable. I mean, the amount of times that they actually do fuck up is, people complain about it, but it's pretty small in comparison. Yeah, that's true. Well, I was in school and I learned and studied in 95 when it came to Lexus and Honda, the car were pretty much perfect. So they had to add features. So now if you notice where everything is about the features and less about, you know. And it's a cycle of cars having more power and cars saving gas and cars having more power.

That's just a pattern that's just going to happen. Right. But, yeah, it's all about the features now. Even with phones, it's all about the features. Yeah, well well for sure i mean with new cars too this is like you have to have apps and all sorts of different things that your car can do yeah but those older cars the one of the the interesting thing is how long some of them last like i have a friend who has a lexus who has a million miles on it it's a million miles is it a gs300 i don't remember what model it is yeah it's um

it's one of the older bigger ones yeah the big one yeah yeah that's that's the one that's supposed to be an asset car asset car yeah like it's going to appreciate really because yeah you know the foreign cars are just now like starting to appreciate versus the old American cars. Well, you mean foreign, like Japanese. Because German cars are always kind of appreciated, right? Like Porsches. Well, yeah, Porsches and stuff like that. But as far as the little Japanese cars and the Lexus. Well, you know what's really appreciating now that's kind of interesting is those old Nissan Skylines.

Yeah. The ones that became the GTRs. Yeah. You know, you look at a gtr now it it's very different looking it's very spaceship looking but the older ones are kind of like more retro and kind of cool looking but the oldest ones now are starting to become like really valuable yeah like the early 90s and in late 80s yeah it's just hard to find one that's not molested because a lot of people took them and they did shit to the fenders and they with this and with that yeah i just told a chick about that the other day we was talking about

cars and i was like yeah it's hard to find something you can find when it's not been molested she was like what and i had to explain to her what molested was and what was and what tranny is what yeah for a car yeah when they don't turn over it's like when they don't move forward like something's holding it back uh-huh yeah you call that a retard yeah it's a retard like if you try to turn the car and it won't turn over oh it's like retarded like it's slow yeah like it won't it won't turn oh okay and then mostly use it like the euro europeans use it most of the time do they really they use it like it won't turn. Oh, okay. And then mostly use it like the Europeans use it most of the time. Do they really?

They use it like as a standard term? Yeah, like if you read some of the blogs and stuff, it's like, you know, it's amazing. Do you read blogs on cars? Yeah, like when I, because I work on my car myself. So, yeah, anytime you're trying to diagnose a problem, it's more reading than actually going out to figure out what it is. That's interesting. So you read all that kind of stuff, but you don't read up about, like, suspensions or different tire offsets or anything like that?

No. How come? I don't know. I think I really never really, what they call, soup the car up or modify it too much, you know. So everything I get, I usually just ride basic with it. And I can have fun with that. Because I'm not a high-end horsepower guy.

I just need it to be quick and, like, turn and handle well. And I just live dangerously within that, you know. You live dangerously within those parameters? Yeah. Well, those cars, like, you know, you haveously yeah within those parameters yeah well those cars like you know you have a bmw 3 series like those cars they're handled they handle great anyway like my friend eddie bought one of those a few years back and he had before that like an old shitty bronco and when he got that uh bmw 3 series he was like oh my god man he goes i like driving now. He goes, I never knew that driving was actually fun.

Yeah. Like, I would go, he would go, he goes, I would take Mulholland just for fun. Like, just decide, I'm going to take it this way. Yeah. Even though it's longer. Just go, you know. I took, I was in Topanga, like, last month with the car. The road is a warp now. Pure warped.

Your road is a warp? My road is a warp now. Pure warped. Your road is a warp? My road is a warp. From what? From just breaking and, like, just driving fast. On Topanga? On Topanga. How many times did you do it? That day, just, I was filming something, like a documentary, and I went hard that day.

But it was already warped before I went that day. You were filming a documentary in your car? Yeah. What are you doing? Somebody was, you know, doing a documentary on creating how comedians create content. And I was showing them, like, how I get inspired and what gets me in the mood. And the car is one of those things, you know. Because when you talk about, like, a set, you're talking about engineering. So kind of, you know, and putting a comedy set.

Yeah. And just the balance between the left and right brain, the logic side and the creative side and the balance between the two. Because my style is basically that balance, you know. Oh, you don't know. Well, I'm trying to get so uh you get this by driving is that what you're saying yeah i mean driving is something that's that's beautiful i took him to a junkyard also because the death of a car and the rebirth of parts when you need it you know the life and death the yin and yang of that and i took him to topanga canyon because i did l.a i did acid in topanga and it's a good place to do acid. Yeah, so at one part.

Kind of unoriginal, though. A lot of acid going on in Topanga. Yeah. So when you're out there, you got nature, right? And then when you turn to the street, you have all these sports cars, which is beautiful. You got a man-made creation that also has life to it. I see how you're looking at me there. You got a man-made creation that also has life to it.

I see how you're looking at me there. No, I'm just trying to follow you. I get it. I get what you're saying. So we filmed, and I took traction control off, and there was four of us in that little car, and we just slid around a corner, and those guys were scared, you know. Yeah, you were sliding. Yeah.

On a residential street. They should be kind of nervous. They was a little nervous. And I was a little nervous, but that what made it fun, you know. We did that together. Yeah, that's tricky, though, because that's kind of a lot of people driving in Topanga. Yeah. And that's what adds to the edginess of it.

Just like my set, you know. It's that line. You could call that edginess. Yeah. Or irresponsible on public roads. You could call that. Yeah, but I don my set you know it's that line you could call that edginess yeah or irresponsible on public roads you could call that yeah but i don't you know once you get into that that's like trying to figure out the offset of a tire you know i mean what do you mean those little details little details of what's fucking dangerous yeah there's not that's not a little detail when you slide in sideways on a residential road that one you think that's a little detail when you slide in sideways on a residential road you think that's a little detail

yeah that could be the difference between you know a man that was close and like somebody calling 911 you know uh yeah that's irresponsible right isn't it no it's fine

no worries just edgy. No worries. Just edgy. Just a little sliding around, losing control of your car on public roads. No big deal. It's like when we would be at high school at parties and a gun would come out. Oh, Jesus. And you thought the party was fun, but when that pistol came out, that's when real excitement happens. In high school, dudes were pulling guns out in your parties?

Yeah. Like, a party wasn't good unless the cops showed up. Jesus Christ. So, yeah, if the cops didn't show up, it was all right. And so when guns were getting pulled out, what were they getting pulled out for? People probably was arguing about something. How many times did you see this? Not a lot of times. It's just what happened.

It's just what happened regularly. You know, at the nightclubs, when you start going to nightclubs. Yeah. These things will happen, you know? Yeah, what do you think about all this shit lately? It seems like every couple of days there's some sort of a mass shooting. Well, the problem with being a black guy from those areas in your 30s, that's just what happens. You know what I mean?

So, but in your 20s, any man really to me in the 20s is more fighters, like that military, like we're not going to take this, yada, yada, yada. But, you know, and I can imagine, like I be imagining sometimes, I look at it in a funny way,

like to my grandmother, this is nothing. You know what I mean? Because they would hanging people and and throw him over the bridge in the county where she's from and shoot him shotgun for fun so this is like you know to me in her mind she's like oh they need an excuse now who was doing this what do you mean like they were throwing people hanging people over bridges shooting them for fun? Yeah, because I'm from the South, so things are a little, you know, a little old school sometimes. It's not that long ago when certain things happened, you know.

Like Jim Crow and like these things aren't that old. Like you still hear the stories. You're brought up, I don't want to say racist, but you're brought up uh i don't know i don't want to say racist but you're brought up to like these people are the enemy you know or be careful when you're on that side of town or like they say you might not come back home when you leave the house so what you're talking about is white people doing fucked up shit to black people like this was something that was so common that it was just talked about all the time yeah yeah yeah and you still had nice people you know um it's an honesty in it that i don't see

anywhere else because when i got out here people act like racism didn't exist and it affected comedy like three years ago you know who the fuck was acting like racism didn't exist people be like oh it's not come on it's not that bad at all who was saying that people would say that it's not that bad yeah like those like we don't well people love to say that there's no racism because obama's black yeah hilarious that's one of my favorite ones yeah like people and i was like well i'm still shell shocked but i my situation is different because i was treated unfair within my own community then i left my community still shell shocked but I my situation is different because I was treated unfair within my own community then I left my community you know like I had

the whole light skin dark my sister light skin fair skin I'm dark skin you know so you were treated poorly within your own can I was just skins too dark well because of that one thing and you know single mother being looked upon differently and we in the Bible Belt. So it was a lot of like not having nice clothes and bullying. Right. And then I got sent to a white school. Well, I was spat at my first year.

You know what I mean? So to me, it was like this whole this whole world is crazy, you know? Yeah. That's a weird thing isn't it the the racism inside the black community between light-skinned and dark-skinned people well it is until you go to like brazil and you see um are they all brazilian and see the racism amongst brazilians or you know you i i started hanging out with other cultures and started seeing the separation within other cultures and seeing what I call a pattern of just human behavior. Well, there's definitely a pattern in human behavior, trying to find groups that they belong to and then alienating, isolating themselves from the other groups.

Yeah, that's an unfortunate thing that people do. Yeah, that's an unfortunate thing that people do. The feminist thing to me is separating man from woman. And then you got the, you know, the gays, and then you got what's going on between the black people and the cops. You know what I mean? Which is two groups that are opposing each other more so now than ever. So you think feminism is separating men from from women that's what they're doing i think it's a it's a slight shifting of uh especially with the guys you know i mean oh male feminists male feminists and male feminists are barely real it's weird it's

a weird situation you know you just park this and keep up with you. Male feminists are seriously barely real. They're barely real. There's a very tiny percentage of men that are actually male feminists. The smallest percentage are actually, like, adhere to those ideologies. The vast majority are doing what's called virtue signaling. Michael Shermer's got the best expression. I wonder if that's his expression. I see it everywhere. I see it more often now than ever before, I think,

since he's been on this podcast. But what they're doing is just trying to make everybody think that they're amazing. They're so virtuous. They're so ethical and so moral and so open-minded and fair in their thinking that they identify as a feminist But most of it is guys that just can't get any pussy Well, I thought I was a true I thought I was a true feminist But I was talking to this young lady about how beautiful women are and I was like they like I Like to be in place with beautiful women. They like cars once miss. I'm

You sure yeah, okay, and she was like you objectify. And I was like, well, I guess I objectify women then, you know? You see that thing? Jamie, you see that thing I tweeted the other day from Cosmo? Cosmopolitan Magazine. Side-by-side cover. It was a retweet from the amazing atheist. Weed. Side-by-side cover.

One of them was like, men who objectify women are the effing worst and then in the very next cover it showed um see if it's uh identifying men's bulges during the olympics yeah it's hilarious that's hypocrites yeah but i always that confirmed confirmed men who objectify women are effing horrible 36 summer olympic bulges that deserve gold and it's just guys abs with their you know yeah speedos looking at their cocks it's hilarious people are fucking hilarious i agree and i feel like you know when i talk i i try to be as truthful as possible but I only learn through my ignorance you know what I mean

I didn't say only learn through my ignorance but you learn a lot from shit that you didn't know from messing up you know what I mean or not knowing I mean I think feminism and all these things there's like a giant scale right and then there's feminism that totally makes sense to me I think feminism and all these things, this is like a giant scale, right?

Yeah. And then there's feminism that totally makes sense to me. I think there's a lot of women that they get treated unfairly. They work with assholes who just want to fuck them or want to treat them like shit because they're a woman. Or they have power over them and they know they can pull some stuff on them that they can't pull on men. I think that's 100% real. And I think there's a lot of women that are awesome. They're cool. They're creative.

They're funny. They're powerful. And, you know, to call it feminism or whatever it is, they're just awesome humans. Yeah, that's true. That happen to be women. humans yeah that happened to be women you know so i think like the in some ways the idea of feminism is to recognize those women for what they are just awesome human beings and to sort of shield them and protect them against a lot of sexism a lot of misogyny a lot of shit that gets directed in their direction and i know it's real i've seen it it. It's 100% real. Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of sexism.

Just like anybody that would say to you that there's no racism. That is fucking preposterous. Of course there's racism. There's racism amongst black people against other black people. Yeah, I experienced that. I think there's just ignorance, just foolish people. And I think in a lot of ways, it's not even the people's fault. A lot of what we are is a measurement of who our parents were, who their parents were, the neighborhoods that we lived in, the people that we were exposed

to, and the think process, the thought process that surrounds these areas is super difficult to escape. It's just really hard for people to think outside of the box. It's easier now because you might live in a bad neighborhood with a bunch of silly people that don't think very well but you have access to the internet now so now you can start to take in other ideas and consider those ideas and say well maybe these fucking people around me are assholes well the problem with the internet is and i got friends and family that don't have the thought of going to the Internet. You know?

That's the problem with the Internet? Oh, not the Internet, but with, you know, that situation. You know, yeah. So if I have a conversation with somebody and I was like, why don't you just Google it? And they was like, what? I'm asking you. Yeah, you're hanging around with silly people. It's 2016.

This is just people I'm related to. You know what you know i mean yeah there's nothing you can do about that no but it's gotta like you gotta leave them behind it's tough though it's tough it's tough man i mean i have left but i realized once i left home the smart the only person that's educated or the person who thought outside the box is gone you were the only person that was thinking outside the box for the most part your family only person that was thinking outside the box. For the most part, yeah. Your family, yeah. Well, what do they think about you

being like this sort of subversive comedian? You know, you're this like open-minded, free-speaking dude who says wild shit on stage, you know? They don't get it. Do they think you're funny? No. To be honest, no. Well, I'm here to tell them they're wrong no they don't you're very funny you can just

tell by the look in their face when they see it um it's not what they it's not world star hip-hop you know yeah is that what they're expecting yeah that's what they found funny like look at this dude get slapped you know okay yeah so it's just a different I've socially, economically, mentally crossed over, you know. Right. But it happened so long ago that. So you feel like you can't relate sometimes when you're talking to them? Well, in a sense, but the thing, you know, there's things you find interesting. They might not find interesting. Yeah. And it's always a thing in the black community when they was like how uh desegregation ruined the black community because it took the doctors and lawyers out of the community but them niggas don't want to hang around the niggas them doctors ain't

trying to sit around motherfuckers that drink alcohol all day you know i mean and they trying to talk about how to invest and what percentage the bank returns versus, you know, IRA or something like that. What the fuck is that? Like, so I understand why these things happen now. Why people move out. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but that's the journey that I'm on.

And then I try to go back and explain those things, you know. There's amazing aspects to all sorts of different ethnicities, different parts of the world, different groups of humans. There's like amazing aspects of their culture that they they have that is going to it's going to be weird if all that stuff gets lost. It's going to be weird if all that stuff gets lost. But I think ultimately what human beings eventually are going to have to figure out is the only things that matter are like, I mean, it's really like basically straight Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah. Judge a man by the content of his character or a woman. Who are you?

Yeah. But we can identify each other so easily by what we look like or where we're from it's so easy So so many people are like so proud of being from a certain part of the world and in some place I think in some ways. I think it's kind of cool like Armenians Yeah, talk some shit about Armenia in front Armenians. They'll smack the fuck out of you. Yeah, don't play man No, they're fucking loyal to that. And they don't even live there anymore, man. That's like being someone who's really into being American and living in South America. If you talk to shit to an expat that lives in South America, if you're like, man, America

is shit. America is fucked up. It's ruined the world. He's like, yeah, that's why I'm here. That's why I'm here, bitch. I got the fuck out. I got the fuck out because I didn't want to deal with it anymore. You can't, like, there's something cool about that. These people that come over here and they, they're unapologetically, like one of the things I like about Armenians, I don't mean to, I'm not picking on them. I'm complimenting them. They're unapologetically masculine.

Yeah, that's true. Those dudes will wear fucking wife beaters, tank tops with gold chains hanging down. It's hilarious. They rock. It's so old school. Yeah. I like it in a lot of ways. Walk with the chest out. Yeah.

They look through you sometimes. See, I don't want to lose that because I think there's something cool about what that community represents. I don't want to lose that. I don't think you lose it. I hope not. Well, I mean, I'm from a situation like I got African friends. And when we met, they had to sneak me in their home because I'm not African. Really?

Yeah. Because you're from America. Yeah. What part ofrica are they from nigeria okay it's funny like saying saying someone's african it's like do you know how fucking big africa is yeah there's so many different countries in it i was uh i think it was zamibia i was watching some uh documentary about zamibia last night I think it's Zambia Namibia maybe Namibia Namibia extremely underpopulated it's enormous it's like bigger than Texas by like

one-quarter which is Texas fucking huge so this country is bigger than Texas by more than one quarter and I think it only has like two million people in it and they were taught they were showing they were showing this one village that they visited how little rainfall there was. They had one inch of rain in three years. That is crazy, man. When you look at how these people live, I like watching documentaries that highlight human beings that just easily could be you or me. Easily. If just this happened and that

happened and our mother gave birth in this weird part of the world and they're just people man they're waving these kids are real playful they're waving to everybody they they're waving to the camera they're so excited that the camera people are there to film this and they're out there cooking and it's so dry it's so dry you, you're looking at them like, where are they getting their water? Where's the fucking water? There's no water. This is crazy. They had a, on this documentary, they had a problem.

It was a show. It's actually called Uncharted. It's this guy named Jim Shockey, and he travels all over the world, and he's a professional hunter, and he visits these communities. A lot of times he's a professional hunter and he visits these uh communities a lot of times he's helping people like he had to uh they had to take out some crocodiles and it become uh addicted to eating people or accustomed accustomed to eating people and this one they had to stop a hyena that was killing all their livestock this hyena would come in and just mangle their livestock and uh they had to get up in the middle of the night and then drive there

super early in the morning before the sun came up to observe this hyena because he would only be there for like a few moments in the early early morning and then he would bolt but it looks like a werewolf like this werewolf that's tearing apart this cow and i'm watching this and i'm like you mad these people are living in these little houses near this. This fucking thing is out there just mangling their cows. They have no water. It's dry as fuck. It's so fascinating, man. Anyway, that is a country in Africa.

Yeah. And, of course, there's other countries that are tropical. There's other countries. I mean, Africa is, it is insane how big that place is. I haven't even been. I was going to go this summer, but I found out that you have to take malaria shots. And I'm like, I'm not giving malaria medication to my kids. Fuck that.

Just fuck that. Yeah, those things, shots, I'm not a fan of. The malaria ones are supposed to be particularly abrasive on your body. And I don't want to see my kids walking around poisoned just because I thought it would be cool to go see an elephant in its natural environment. Take a picture. I can't lift my arms. I mean, I think it would be fucking cool to see for sure. Yeah, Africa, the Africans I met were so real,

but they broke down the white man wolf theory to me. The white man wolf? Yeah. What's that? Like you're not full-blooded. You're not African no more. You're a white man's wolf. You that like you're not full-blooded you're not african no more you white man's wolf you like their pet oh that's you yeah you would be the white man's wolf that's why on the low in the community you hear black people saying no we're not african-americans because they consider themselves african-americans yeah i had a buddy

of mine who went to africa another black guy was telling me the same thing he's like dude he goes don't don't ever call yourself an African American. He goes, because you go over there and he goes, they don't like you. He goes, they don't like you,

they don't want to see you and they're jealous and they get angry at you and they want to fuck you up. And I go, really? He goes, yeah.

He goes, don't ever think you're going back to Africa. No. But it's weird because you see people holding up the fist and all this other stuff.

But we're so far removed. I consider us a group of people that, you know, things have happened in our past. So we're afraid of that. But we don't know how our future looks either. Well, it seems cool to have this idea that there's Africa and it's like fucking Narnia. Or like it's like the blue people that lived in the fucking Avatar. What was that planet?

The planet they lived on. I forgot the name of it. Those trees were beautiful. God damn it. Yeah. It's like... It reminded me of unobtainium. Pandorum?

Pandora. Pandora. Yeah. Pandora or um. Pandora. Pandora. Pandora. Like the app.

Yeah. Like the app. Yeah, like the app. That's hilarious. But I remember like the way people would think of Native American life. Like it's really similar. They would think they'd have this idyllic existence. It was beautiful. They lived in harmony with nature. They only killed what they needed.

There's no war. like I've had like bizarre Conversation with hippies about North America about Native Americans and not that I'm anti Native American I'm by far the opposite I think it is insanely cool that this place was Populated just a few hundred years ago by people that were essentially living the way people lived tens of thousands of years ago. Yeah, that's true. And they were successful at it.

They didn't even have horses, man. They didn't have horses until European settlers. A lot of people don't realize. And what's even more fucking weird about that is that horses actually evolved in North America. Horses started in North America and made their way to Africa on land masses

and became zebras over the course of millions of years. This is one of the weirdest things about Plains Indians and horses is that they didn't really have them, but there's some belief, this is all from this guy, Dan Flores,

who's a, I guess you would call it an environmental historian. I think that's what he's called. But I'm reading one of his books on coyotes. But when he was talking about North America, that they almost, they had like almost like a myth about horses. Like it's possible that at one point in time, they had domesticated horses somewhere in North America, like, you know, tens of thousands of years ago. But this is all, like, pre-Ice Age. Ice Age hits.

Ice Age thaws out. Like, a lot of shit has gone down here. But those people, they did not live an avatar existence, is my point. Like, Native Americans would go to war with each other. They'd fucking kill each other they do horrible things the uh ones in the great lakes area they did a lot of cannibalism yeah the nez perce i think they the name of the indian they were talking about they would like kill their enemies and shit they would find trappers and kill them and eat them yeah you know like it was not this beautiful world but apes do the same thing. But I think it's just a matter of resources, right?

That's how I look at it. Sure. It's also the same reason why racism exists. People get in this us versus them thing where they want these people, whoever these people are, they want everybody has to be on this team and fuck everybody else. Because that's the only way they feel like they can survive. That's the only way they feel like they can survive yeah that's the old way you know but what's interesting to me i think is that in this day and age that old way is just melting in front of our eyes because people understand each other

how many white people have black lives movement uh hashtagged on their fucking twitter page a fuckload man how many people today are racist and compared to 100 years ago it's probably radically lower it's lower it's amazing like the how white women want to fuck black dudes because of this thing so in a way it's not all for nothing you know what it's like dude it's like you're a first liner you're your first responder like the 9-11 firemen they got mad pussy after 9-11 yeah those guys were superstars girls would just fuck firemen for real yeah especially if a girl worked in a building that was close to where the towers went down like those guys were goddamn heroes

they're all their hero genes fired up that's what i wonder if that's what makes men want to do it in the first place they know that women are gonna think they're heroes and fuck them i think so i think guys like want to be the alpha. I found my place to be an alpha. You know what I mean? So if I was a black guy, I would probably play up racism big time just for white pussy. However you could play it up. It's chicks that told me, yeah, you just want to make out with black dudes.

They feel there's nothing they could do, so they just want to make out with black guys. There's nothing they could do? They feel want to make out with black there's nothing they could do they feel like they feel so whatever about what's happening oh they want to just make out with black just to make make it you know contribute somehow and i was like you know well there's a few videos that have come out this year to just every where everybody's gotta go okay well now give me an excuse now explain it now there's a few that's like the one that the guy got shot in his car reaching for his wallet with his wife and kid in the car tell me these things don't exist because everybody was like ah that's how they said it went down but you know the guy probably said something or he went and reached for something or maybe he had a record.

Maybe they knew this guy was a dangerous. No, no, no, no, no. Just a dude complying, reaching for his wallet and gets unloaded on by some fucking psycho, some stressed out PTSD. Who knows what the fuck is going on in that guy's head? Who knows? You know, one of the things I thought was interesting, they had this video online recently that I saw. It was, they took this guy who was an active, he was a big time detractor of the police. He was talking about how horrible the police are.

And they invited him to go through like one of their police training safety courses Yeah And what they do is they you're supposed to determine When to shoot or when you're when you can get shot when when someone could be a threat when you have to shoot them It was fucking amazing It's amazing to watch because this guy in just a few of these scenarios Started freaking out like he got shot in a couple of them when they shoot you they shoot at the ground in front of you with a blank like like so he had

to realize that this is how quick a cop can get shot by a psycho yeah and so there's different times where he got pulled over where he pulled someone over or where he was uh handling this one guy in a parking lot yeah and the guy went behind the car real quick and then came out and shot him within a second. He's like, sir, can I see some identification, sir? Yeah, man. Hey, man. I'm just working, dude. I'm just getting my stuff here.

And he goes in the back and pulls out a gun and shoots him. He's like, this happened. This is an actual scenario. Yeah. This has happened. And it's probably happened a hundred times. A bunch of times. Yeah.

So they have to, they are always fucking like this, man. They're always like. And you know how people are. Some people like, oh my God, we're almost out of gas. Oh my God, we're almost out of gas. We're almost out of gas. What are we going to do? What are we going to do? And you're like, will you shut the fuck up?

If we get out of gas, we'll walk to a goddamn gas station. It'll take us 20 minutes. We'll get some gas. We'll come back. Don't cry. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I know somebody that talked to a cop and they said that when, how they started working and minutes we'll get some gas we'll come back don't cry jesus christ yes but i mean yeah i know somebody talked to a cop and they said that when how they started working and then 11 years later oh yeah going into those areas where these things always happen and after years and years it just it just wears on you for sure and i know from the air just me growing up in situations you know i mean yeah i wouldn't want to go back. I'd barely go back there, you know? So, but it do give you nerves. Your nerves heighten.

It naturally kicks in. 100%. You know? And like, yeah. And some people can't handle those nerves. Mm-mm. You learn how to breathe quietly. You don't know, like somebody, you could walk down the street and somebody could pull a

little pistol out on you. And those things, I've been driving down the street with my ex-lady, and she was talking, and I was like, get down. Because I saw a guy draw on a corner and shoot across the street at another guy. Oh, Jesus. And as the gun went up, we drove under the fire, right? It was long. It was long. Oh, my God.

And as it went up, we went under. Oh, my God. And as it went up, we went under. Oh, my God. We got the second shot off and I drove and I was like, man, that was crazy. Like, I'm that guy.

Like, we made it. Like, get up. We made it. That was crazy. And she's like, you want to call the police? And I was like, for what? And she's like,

to tell what happened. And I was like, no. I don't want to be. And that's how crazy it is that you don't even want to be involved because you got to go to the cops.

And I ended up calling the police. And they was like, can you describe the victim? I was like, white t-shirt, blue jeans. That's all I said. And they was like, was he black? And that was just a long pause. It was just a long pause. And they was like, sir, is he black?

And I was like, man man you know that nigga was black I just hung up the phone man it felt weird but yeah cuz I realized yeah like yeah it's just weird things that happen but it's interesting what goes on because I met guys who shot at people before and shot people. So if you hear anything about my set,

you know I know both sides. Right. You know what I mean? So it's just interesting. Out of dudes you know that shot people, how many of them got caught? One.

Oh my God. One because he ended up shooting my best friend's sister and a baby in a passion crime oh jesus and his last words to me was he was weird i was leaving the house one night we was in the project you know he played you know play cards and shit like i don't really went into that like that um but i remember leaving and he was just on the steps and he looked up at me and he was like, hey man,

he was like, you smart, you got a chance to get out of here. And it was one of those weird moments, you know. And he was like,

man, just keep doing you. No matter how weird or whatever people say you are, just keep doing you type situation. He's like, I love you

and I don't use love like that so I was just like, all right. You know, all right. And then I left. And then that was my last time seeing him. You know. How long after that did he do the crime? Probably like a week or two.

Because I was out of town and I got back. And it was just, yeah. There's war zones. That's a war zone. I mean, when you're in an area that has a lot of shootings so much so that you drive under a car you don't even want to call the cops you know like if you saw something like that in beverly hills if you were an average person who's like a successful accountant yeah who has a nice home in beverly hills

and you're driving to your house and someone shoots over your car, fucking for sure you're calling the police, right? Because it's rare. Yeah. It doesn't happen there very often. That is, if you think how many people die during wartime every year, how many, find this out, Jamie, how many, I wonder if this is possible to know, I was going to say how many shootings occur in Iraq and Afghanistan, how many military-involved exchanges of firearms,

and then compare it to how many people get killed in America every day from gunfire. And, you know, everybody's like, well, is this a gun rights issue? No, just looking at what's happening like looking at where the like super dangerous spots and and the in the mindset and the lack of the so-called lack of resources people think they have yeah um yeah i see it all when you say lack of resource you mean no hope for the future or just fear based or i gotta eat you know i mean like the power company don't care that you know you all love each other and you're trying to go get better your life. Exactly.

And sometimes your lady, your girl don't even want to hear that either. I think that is a big part of what keeps these communities exactly the same way. You know, there's a dude named Eddie Wong. He's a chef and an author, and he's done a bunch of cool shit. He's a funny dude. He's got a show on Vice. Yeah. And he brought up this idea of universal basic income.

And he's like, you know, just giving people enough money every year so they live. You know, like you don't have to worry about your bills. Everything's paid for. Yeah. Everything after that you have to work for. And I remember thinking, that is fucking ridiculous. You can't give people things. People are going to get fucking lazy. That is not going to work for and i remember thinking that is fucking ridiculous you can't give people think people are going to get fucking lazy they're just not that is not that's

not going to work yeah but now the more i think about it the more i think of that might be like the best way to curb crime to curb need yeah to curb people doing things out of total desperation to uh to curb a certain amount of despair that some people feel. And then from there, it might be like a jumpstart for people pursuing other ideas that might successfully contribute to the economy. I don't know enough about the economy to really comment. I'm just reading a bunch of different things a bunch of people have said about it. And I'm like, wow.

So it might actually make sense in terms of law enforcement yeah in terms of unemployment like all sorts of different things where you would have to factor in like where the money would come from and i was like wow it's it's kind of counterintuitive but once you look into it you're like look if how many of these people that are super desperate and don't have money for bills there's no jobs how many of those people would relax a lot if they got x amount of dollars a year like whatever it is they would survive i know like with myself i'm like i'm around people that make money now and they like money is not important but i'm like you made it to the mountaintop already you know i mean you made a certain income but when you're surviving you don't have time to feel things. You don't have time to be philosophical, to evolve.

Or to feel like I'm sad. You know what I mean? Or these things. I even look at my mom differently now because she at one point lost her children. And she had to get them back. And she raised us in survival mode. So she never thought of reading a self-help book or learn how to money manage. Yeah.

Do all those things. You know what I mean? And me and my sister at a place, now we could do those things, you know. We could talk about, you know, how we feel or even look back and see where we went wrong. And that's just a luxury that, you know. I see what you're saying. wrong and that's just a luxury that you know i see what you're saying a mother who was a father a mother a woman who becomes a guy and take those roles on it does something to her emotionally you know i mean uh you know so um when her kids is gone now she might have a chance to

grow and see what things went wrong if she doesn't feel it's too late right yeah when in survival mode i try to tell people that who try to talk about these issues but never been in the situation before and feel the need to go out and see why people get out and don't look back or they try to help people and people concentrate on other things. Why? The reason why. Yeah. Um, that, yeah, the survival mode is very primal. You know,

the law, the law don't matter in survival mode or, uh, yeah, you can take things. You can run up in the store and take things because you just that hungry. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So, uh, yeah, I've seen and been a part of all these things. You like clothes, you want luxury stuff to the point that you would take it, you know, go to a mall and take a polo shirt. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, so, yeah. Yeah. Survival mode is a place that most people have no idea. Right. Most people are just guessing, me included, just guessing.

Right. Most people are just guessing, me included, just guessing. Well, there's people that is in a situation even worse than mine. And, yeah, you see what it does to people. And after a while, they kind of like it. They might make six figures, but they still go to the projects. Because it's exciting. It's exciting, one. And two, they can't communicate with people who've been making a hundred thousand their whole life or grew up in that situation well you know that's a big thing with people that go to war

people that have been to war they um for some reason even though it was awful and they saw friends die it was the best time of their life yeah it's like there's something about living knowing that any moment you could be dead that makes the live moments, the moments when you're not dead, more special. And then you come back here and everything's sort of muted. Yeah. It's toned down. You know, I think that's why a lot of rich people, they start, if they don't have any meaning in their life, they don't have a thing that they're really into. They just start buying shit.

They just start collecting houses and boats. They're just trying to figure out there's got to be something exciting to do here there's got to be something yeah you know well once i started making like thirty thousand dollars a year doing stand-up it changed me because i came i wasn't invited to la i slept on the floor for a year you know i mean i did the whole car thing and built everything up from there. You living out of the car? You were doing that? Yeah, for like a couple weeks, you know, but.

Everybody's got a cool story that makes it. Yeah. You might make it then. I know a lot of people, like Ronda Rousey, she had a cool living out of her car story. Oh, man. That was a very interesting interview. A lot of people. Very emotional, you know.

Yeah, man. A lot of people had to live in out of your car. Yeah, but to me, that's kind of normal for LA. Mm-hmm. But I figured, I think I made it. Part of me think I made it when I graduated from college because I was a freshman graduate from college. And I was like, I got to unlearn everything I was taught now. How so?

Because it's institutionalized thinking. To me, there's no difference between. You mean the university? Yeah, there's no difference between college and prison sometimes to me. What? It's way different. You can quit college. Well, yeah's way different. You can quit college. Well, yeah, you can.

You can. That's true. But, you know, both get money for how many occupants they have. Right. I look at those stats and they teach you a certain, it's a society within both, you know. Then even the military, because I went to Afghanistan for 13 days. I think colleges are incredibly important. Because I went to Afghanistan for 13 days. I think colleges are incredibly important.

But I think that, like all things, when the world around them evolves quicker than they do, it creates issues. And I think a lot of what you're seeing, like I've talked to some kids who go to school that are taking these classes from ridiculous left-wing professors who are basically communists. And there's a lot of them yeah it's not just a few and this left-wing thinking is like super uber prevalent on campus to the point where it's like distorting kids versions and views of the world and it's it's trickled down it's the students it's the faculty there's a there's a lot going on it's ultimately a lot of it is like the people at the very top of it all it's really kind of fascinating because those people are shaping people's minds yeah and they're involved in a lot of ways from what like comes out of that in a cultural sense but there's a lot of backlash because that too there's a lot of people that are going to those

schools and now are reading online accounts of what these professors do. And now a lot of these professors have zero experience in the world itself. They just live in academia. They get the degree. They go from getting a degree to teaching and they teach and they just don't enter the world. So they live in this world of these sort of esoteric ideas or these philosophies that they would like to be real,

but might not necessarily be real. And they teach kids. I was kind of fortunate in that because I took some weird test in elementary school that sent me to these schools, upper middle class, high school. They just figured out you're smart? Yeah, but it alienated me from my community. We got bused to a school, so everybody in my apartment complex

got on a bus and went to school. And then we got separated to where it was like five black people in this class. And when we would go to lunch, we'd have to walk on different sides of the hall and everybody from my neighborhood would just mush me coming through the hall. So things started to happen then but how could they not see that coming that almost seems like one of those government experiments like a psychological tuskegee experiment you know

what i mean in a sense but what happened was by the time like my professors were like rich millionaires because they taught the subject that they did well in. Right. You know what I mean? I wouldn't say, like, a comedy class except that teacher made it. Right. You know what I mean? So they write books and shit?

They write their own books. They got millions. You know, they doing this because they want to. You know, they retired already. I think my stat teacher retired at 30. You know what I mean? 30? Yeah.

He wrote his own book, and I didn't like that. Goddamn book. Because I couldn't steal his book. You couldn't steal it? Uh-uh. Why not? Because he wrote his own book. So we had to buy it from him, and he downloaded it somehow.

Oh, that's interesting. So he sold you his own. He had to sell his books every time a class. He taught. Ooh, that's tricky. So I went to college my freshman year and didn't have books because in high school they provided books, and I didn't know you needed books. So I made money to buy a book, and they got book buyback programs.

But they give you 25% of what the book's worth. Right. And I just couldn't get into that. So I had to steal books, and I would sell the books at 50%. You would steal them and sell them? Yeah. Would you steal a physical copy of the book? Where would you get them?

From the bookstore. Just snag them from the bookstore? Yeah, because the thing that the alarm they had, or the alarm, and it's funny because the engineering book school, but it never was hooked up properly. So, and I was thin enough just to put it in my waistband and walk out. This is all very alleged. Never really happened. Yeah, it's never really happened.

You know what I mean? This is just fiction for a podcast. If I was to write a book, though, this is how it would be done. Right. But I didn't write a book, though, this is how it would be done. Right. But I didn't do it, like, on massive. I didn't do massive because I know what grand theft is. Right. You know what I mean?

So it's only a few people that I supplied. And it's easy. You buy it. You're getting it for 50%. And then you can have that money back at the end of the semester. Yeah. That's a good deal. Yeah, that's a pretty good deal.

Win-win except stealing stealing part stealing part but i allegedly might have gotten college books that way too yeah a lot of super common well today kids can just download most things right yeah that's true it must be really hard for them to sell their books now because kids could just go to like a bit torrent because especially if there's like a college course that's in a major university most likely someone's gonna upload it to a torrent right we assume but it wasn't torrents we i went to school when napster dropped so we was a group oh shit that pushed all that forward i remember napster yeah i remember the the crazy argument about napster i remember i had to sit back and and go i remember very clearly when that Metallica guy got involved.

Lars Ulrich got involved. And he was saying that this is stealing and he was going crazy and freaking out. I remember literally sitting back because I was listening to it on Sirius Satellite Radio, I think. It was at the time. Or something. I was listening to something on my car. What year was that? What year was Napster?

2002. 2002. Was there even Sirius Satell Am I imagining this? It might've been the radio, actual radio. XM was right around that same time. I think it might've been, um, whoever it was out here. It might've been Howard Stern. I was listening to something and they were talking about it. And I remember thinking, just stepping back and going, Whoa, this is a new thing. thinking just stepping back and going whoa this is a new thing like people have figured out how to get stuff for free online yeah that normally would be like 20 bucks or 10 bucks or whatever the fuck it is and i remember thinking whoa this is a new door that just opened up i remember i remember like sitting back in my chair i was in my car i remember the fucking parking lot i was going to buy dog food and i was listening to this and i remember i sat back and i went oh man this is a moment yeah this is a real moment in our culture well before then look our dorms didn't even have the internet

right you didn't have the internet you still had to go to the computer lab so check this out check this out this was the hustle we met two white guys one guy broke his foot when he was young and his dad gave him a old computer and he started working a little card game and from there he learned programming right he said we can give him access to a computer lab he can supply our rooms with internet because they were wired but it wasn't hooked up. Oh. So he can get the numbers and if and statements and make the thing communicate with one another. Oh.

So a few of us in the dorms had internet. Whoa, you guys hacked the dorms. It's like an episode of MASH. And this is the problem with learning how to hustle in survival mode. You learn how to get stuff for free, but you don't learn how to monetize it all the time but what we did was we start selling like CDs and stuff like that you know I mean so you download stuff and then sell CDs because nobody

had laptops or nothing like that Wow yeah a friend of mine called crazy stories we're gonna look back on. This is like those people when the camera first got invented. Yeah. Yeah. We stood around for four hours and he painted us. And I'd be like, what? I mean, this is literally what that's like. This is what happens, man.

And I think a year or two earlier, I was in the crack game a little bit. You were in the crack game? A little bit. For like six months. That should be a meme. I was in the crack game a little bit. Picture in the crack game a little bit for like six months that should be a meme i was in the crack game a little bit but this thing was new this thing was a new hustle because more people love music yeah when did the crack game open up that was 80s something that was when everything became uh they blamed everything on crack yeah it was they literally blamed everything on crack. Yeah, it was.

They literally blamed everything on crack. The epidemic. Like, all white people were terrified of crack. They thought that for sure. For sure. You want some of this? What's that? Out of the brain.

I know you're looking at it. Oh, wow. So, bite the top off of it and pour it in your drink. You'll get smarter. It affected me in the 90s, mid-90s. How so? With my father and my aunt the sea it's a sea of deterioration of people and families like full-on

um somebody you look up to just you know it was a it was a way for people to get coke way easier right yeah that's basically what it is get the same high for a short amount of for cheaper you know i mean five ten dollars but it has a different effect it must have some sort of a different effect because people say that the crack thing like after you do it it's like really good in the beginning and then it's not so good after a while is that the same with coke? I think you're still chasing that

I haven't did coke yet ever? nah you say yet though you're leaving the possibility open Byron Bower is ready to party

you know everything I've done I do it for experiment with it right and I to understand addiction and learn like comedy makes me so happy that I don't have to

lean on anything for any emotional thing right so when I do it it's just to see what it's like right so like when I did shrooms you know that was I was there documenting the experience and then I would go back into it and I can go out being self-aware mentally almost like from uh an engineering perspective you're trying to like back engineer what's going on yeah doing these drugs try to figure it out let me write this stuff down then I'll go back and look at it and try to figure out how I got there well even when I got in the crack business it was like let's see what makes you so powerful I remember having it in my hand like let's see what makes you so powerful you were saying that to the crack itself?

Yeah. What did it say? I'll show you my real powers. Because when I, when it ended, it was a low for me. When I stopped selling. The low for you? It was a low for me. Oh, it was a low.

Because I didn't know that the person who sells it is addicted just as much as the user. Because you're addicted to selling it the power the money when you walk in the building people know who you are and people you could use the control you have over people i'm like this is what white power feels like that's it was a guy who ran into a store, got some clothes, and brought it back. Because he didn't have any money. That's a powerful thing, you know? Right.

Yeah. People are sucking your dick, you know, and stuff like that. Wait a minute. How does it equate to a guy getting some clothes and bringing them back? What? How what? The power? Yeah.

Because they don't. There's nothing they would normally do you can make somebody do that you know i mean so i look at life i was and i could think like a one percenter because i got a business i was educated in business so you they give you a republican mindset so if i was in control of a society right and i had a group of poor people and I controlled the resources. And this happened on the street with drugs, too. That's why drugs get robbed. If I control the resources, I can allow it to go out or I can not allow it to go out. I can control the price point.

And if you can't afford it, you know what I mean? Then it's like, okay, let's see what else you could do to get this thing that you want. So you were getting addicted to the power of controlling these people, of having these people dependent upon you. You would show up. You would be important. You'd be making money doing something that's kind of dangerous. There's a bunch of different things going on.

I did it enough to see it, but I didn't do it long enough to get full power. I think probably six months or a semester or two. How'd you get out of it i had that i it was at one point i had i got propositioned to take control over this town and it was at a point consciously where like i was at a private college i lived a triple life i had basketball scholarship i had classes that i was failing it was a religious college i had white friends and then i would go to the black community and hustle at night it's a lot of stuff to do you know i mean and um like at one point i was shot at i was hanging with my white friends and they know what the fuck was going on you got shot at with your white friends yeah because they wanted to buy weed but guess what They had to go to get weed

in this other place. You know what I mean? Ah. Yeah, so, and that person, allegedly, his uncle worked for me.

This is the first allegedly of the night, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, all this is alleged. You know what I mean? So, I remember

it was a pharmaceutical company in that town that made a lot of money and i remember standing outside face to face with it and i was like this is a setup we'll never win this is where all the money is right here and it's pharmaceutical company it's legal you know and i met a guy who was addicted to crack he owned a pharmaceutical company and cvs bought him out for like 1.5 1.8 million dollars and you know all that money went you know um and uh and these and these things made me be like and then the fact i was getting angry because i'm feeling realizing how unfair life is because now i mean black people who, grandparents went to college.

You know what I mean? And during that time, they would do like brown paper bag tests to see if you was allowed to go to school within the black community. They would put a brown paper bag up to you and if you was lighter than that, you know, you could go to school and stuff.

What? Yeah. Who did this? This was like certain HBSUs, you know, black universities and stuff like that. I know they would do that just to get in a fraternity, you know. Really? Yeah. You can research this stuff. A brown paper bag is so white. I know, man. You telling me. Look at me. Wow. So the anger started to come and then you in the streets hustling.

I don't think I had the mentality. It got to one point I knew that if I crossed the line, like if I were to harm somebody in a very bad way, there's no coming back from that. I don't think I was ready to make that decision. But I do know the guy, when I left, he went on to build that part of town and finished. It was just two of us at the time, but it became a crew of six. And each made $13,500 a week to take home.

Wow. By the time they hit five, six, and seven years. But by the time I linked back up with him, he was the only one left. Alive. Alive or not in jail. And, you know, religion saved him saved him really so he pulled out because religion the rest of them were gone yeah but i just saw the way my mind worked i just saw stuff early you know you just put the pieces together early right well that's that's a skill that's a skill

a lot of people have to learn and you learn it by watching either you do your own fuck-ups or you watch a lot of people fuck up around you yeah like if you talk to the children of alcoholics they rarely drink not i shouldn't say rarely what i should say is i run into a lot of people who were the children of alcoholics who realized like fuck that noise and they realized growing up with unreliable parents they're fucked up and just and people, you know, there's like proof positive. You don't have to actually go through the mistake to learn yourself. But once I learned, I didn't hate drug dealers no more. But until then, I did.

Because one knocked my dad's eye out. And I heard he climbed the flagpole for fun because he didn't have no money. I heard he climbed the flagpole for fun because he didn't have no money. But before then, this was a guy that raised me who managed to, we lived in a small bedroom apartment, two-bedroom apartment, to him amassing a five-bedroom house and cars and boats because he was just that smart and good. And I seen it all disappear, you know what I mean? What I call like

king or king falling or something like that right so I just wanted to see like the other part of that and I would be in the crack crack like I was asking people's parents about that key how do a kids feel about this and they you know no no no you know I'll talk about that right now like I'm like so even doing that time still I gather an information like, gathering information and just, you know. Well, what's most insidious about crack is that it affects poor neighborhoods in general and black neighborhoods in particular. Like, that's one of the weirder drugs. Because there was crack in poor white neighborhoods.

Like, there was an area called Lowell in Massachusetts that had a big problem. I think it was crack or was it heroin? But there's a lot of – there was crack neighborhoods for sure. I know poor white people that smoked crack. But it seems way more prevalent in black communities. And I always wonder, like, what is what's the need that's being met when when when a drug provides a certain type of sensation? Like, what is the need that's being met that is uniquely attracts it to certain neighborhoods? I don't know that I really don't know. I know it was cheap for certain. It wasn't cheap where we was doing it. That's what made it so profitable.

But do you think that it's because of all these pressures that you were talking about? Like you're talking about this despair. You're talking about how it just feels like you can't get out. You're stuck in this this bad place with all this danger and violence and just the constant fucking pressure of that. I think so. I think I look at what my aunt and dad the type of people they are personality wise very friendly and them being in a bible belt where you're taught you got to behave a certain way but they are real like horny people and they like the fuck it's true you know i mean they do you know i mean so um just being confined you know growing up with two parents i hear my friends be like they have to they had pressures that i didn't have like i didn't have a curfew or nothing you know but i was just a good

kid i was still they would call me a square when i was younger i didn't partake anything but i would be out i'd be like it'll be like right there and i see it but just instinctively i knew better but i see people who came up a certain way with certain values even my friends they had to live with that for a while right well i had the freedom to be like nah i'm gonna do this so you had the forethought or the foresight to see where this could all be a problem and then you got proven correct so you got you got to see all these other people fuck up doing all these things yeah well i noticed like oh my my grandmother and granddaddy uh snuff cigarette people snuff um that stuff's so weird yeah my grandma was explaining that shit for people don't even know what it's like it's snuff is like a powder form

of tobacco um almost like chewing tobacco is what the dudes did but you don't it's what snuff is. Snuff is like a powder form of tobacco. Almost. Chewing tobacco is what the dudes did. But you don't... And snuff is what the women did. It's a powder form. They still put it in their mouth and they got a spit cup and they'll always be like,

oh, you know, as a kid, go grab my spit cup. You watch a lady just spit in this beautiful ass spit cup. They get a paper towel and put it at the bottom so it don't make a noise. You remember that was like a big deal in the Wild West?

They'd have spittoons. Yeah. Remember that? I saw one at the Capitol in Sacramento and they got those spit things. I used to work with this dude. He was a stuntman on Fear Factor. His name's Perry. Perry's crazy.

He used to swallow his tobacco juice oh that's gangster because he said he said he he was working on uh movie sets so often that um he couldn't spit he couldn't like carry around his cup and spit so he started just swallowing his tobacco juice and they got used to it the most most I've drank. The most I've drank. The most I've drank and did tobacco. I did tobacco before. You drank tobacco? No, I drank alcohol and did tobacco because I used to do focus groups.

My Nigerian friends, they put me on. So they give you $50, $75, $100, $200 to drink and taste it and give your opinion on it, right? Right. But if you, because my name is Byron Bowles, which could be Byron Powers, which could be Brian Bowles, Brian Powers. I could do four focus groups in one day. So you just change your name a little bit? Change name, put on a different shirt.

This is just income for, like, this is the hustles that we had. In college, to me, college is where poor people learn white-collar crimes and stuff, right? So I had to do tobacco, and they never would do it. Some people and I would do it and then they would be in a tobacco meeting. It'd be like me and the redneck white guys. They all like, yeah, man, this one tastes a little more like the citrus flavor pops more in this, you know, and I'm in there just lit. I read like I'm in there just lit. Eyes red.

Like, I'm in there just chewing, hanging out my mouth. I can't even spit right. What is the feeling of doing chewing tobacco when you don't do it? What does it do to you? In that group, I think it's like the equivalent to like, you just get like a weird buzz feeling. Like, you just real, like your eyes are red. They say it's really good to write on. They say like nicotine is one of the best things to write on.

It's like a more, it's like alertness. Alert. Like if I eat chocolate or drink coffee, like my heart explode. I just start doing this. You know what I mean? So it's like an alert version of that. But you still like happy and stuff at the same time. Like as if you want alcohol.

It's like you buzzed in a way so it's better better than than coffee uh it's more of a a drunk feeling in coffee huh to me from chewing tobacco yeah this is what kind of this is like the loose leaf stuff or is it like that skull stuff that you have when you're watching people do it and then you're like doing this and then you don't even know how to spit so they're like you like it looks so nasty yeah and i saw this one fucking dude uh who was doing public service announcements he was going to colleges and uh high schools rather and grammar schools and he was missing most of his lower jaw he He got jaw cancer from doing chewing tobacco. I think he was a baseball player. He used to be this, like, strapping, handsome gentleman.

And then as time went on, the cancer ate his jaw away. It stings to me. It stings to me. It's like a stronger spearmint mint feeling. And if you don't know how to do it right it gets all in you well how many people actually get cancer from that stuff i don't know man it seems like there's a lot of people that do that stuff right they don't got no electronic version now like they got no no no no no well i i mean i apparently according to people that smoke cigarettes, e-cigarettes just don't give you the same rush.

I can believe that. They don't give you that kick. At the end of the day to me, but it's still smoke going inside your lungs. Yes, it's still smoke going inside your lungs, but it's not. Those e-cigarettes are vapor. It's actually a liquid tobacco. Okay. And then it vaporizes the liquid tobacco, and some sort of particles have to be in the air. But it's attached to vapor.

It's a different experience than the coal. I mean, the hot, you know, smoke from fire. It's like those cars that burn with hydrogen or something that evaporates in the air. Hydrogen turns into air. Yeah. Yeah. And you burn it. Yeah.

Okay. Or does it turn into water? Some water. Oxygen or water? Something. Hydrogen turns into air. Yeah. Yeah. When you burn it. Yeah. Okay. Or does it turn into water? Some water. Is it oxygen or water? Something. Hydrogen burn, burning hydrogen turn into oxygen or does it turn into water? Well, no, water comes out of this. I'm asking Jamie to Google five things at a time.

We need a goddamn assistant. But yeah, yeah. But cigarettes, man, they do give you a weird rush. I don't smoke cigarettes, but I've had hits of people's cigarettes before just to see what it feels like. Like Tony Hinchcliffe gave me a pull off his cigarette the other night right before I went on stage. It gives you like a rush. It gives you like a... Yeah.

Your mind fires up. And he's like, dude, be careful. You can get addicted to these things. I'm like, I am not getting addicted to your fucking cigarette. Just relax. I'm just going to take one puff of a cigarette. That's how I feel about stuff. Certain things.

When I told my mom I did acid, and I told people in the South I do acid, they think, you know what happened to your father. Why would you go down the same path? Oh, God. They think it's the same path. I'm trying to live. You know what I mean? Trying to see things different.

I understand what he went through. But, and also, I came back as Moses also. So that didn't help. Excuse me. What? I came back like. What do you mean you came back? I met God.

Oh, after you did that. These are the instructions. Everything's going to be okay. I've seen life. I've seen death. I've seen death. I've time traveled. Yeah, that sounds pretty trippy.

Like, God damn it, Byron. You went nutty. Hanging around with those white people. But that adds on to the fact they already think I went nutty for graduating and saying I'm going to do stand-up. So they were right. Then it's like it's confirming. What? They're confirming that they were right oh well

yeah in a sense they already think like nuts this guy's already he's out there i don't know what he's doing doing acid he's getting crazy he's he's telling jokes he's telling jokes i got introduced like yeah this is my nephew who graduated from college the one who say he gonna go tell jokes like it's a joke yeah i got introduced his dad and tell him how much kevin hart makes i said tell tell those people how much kevin yeah this is before kevin it was before kevin well tell them how much jamie foxx made tell them how much i mean fill in the blank go to martin lawrence work your way up the million different fucking comedians like graduating from college is a less likely scenario than if you're actually funny making

a lot of money doing stand yeah you know like i i is now now you're at the point people be like this is all you do and i'm like yeah and they like oh snap they realize now that you're i was in the dominican republic and they was like what you do i was like i talked to people for a living and they were like that's all i was like yeah they're like man well you do? I was like, I talk to people for a living. And they was like, that's all? I was like, yeah. They was like, man. Well, sort of. You got to write some shit down. You got to figure out what's funny about what you're about to say.

It's a little more complicated than that. But yeah, at the end of the day, that's all it is. I call it communication. That's all. Yeah. You know, at this level, the level I'm at. It's interesting now because I'm in a weird space as far as stand-up. Weird space? To me. How so? Not as far as stand-up. Weird space? To me.

How so? Not as far as the show business, should I say. Show business. How so? Because there's a place in show business where art meets the business part. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And that's when it gets interesting. That's when the fight begins of, like, you know, what platforms can this be allowed on?

Or, okay, you're going to put me on a show with five people. I want to do a show with just myself, you know, and those things. Or you got agents now, and you ask them to book you, and then you don't hear from them for five months. you got agents now you asked them to book you and then you don't hear from them for five months you know so that was that weird part of just learning that part of the show business navigating the waters of sharks yeah it's funny daniel tosh and i were at the improv name drop watch me uh we're at the improv the other night and uh there was this one dude who's a manager he's kind of a shifty character and uh daniel came over and he was like, that guy gives me the creeps. And I tell him, I go, you know what that guy said to me once?

He said to me, you're the one that got away. And he said, dude, he said the same fucking thing to me. And then Tosh even tweeted it to me with a bunch of S's at the end of it. Yeah. There's going to be those guys. But if you find someone that's good, you develop a good relationship with a good agent and a good manager, it's like everything else, man. You can come to Hollywood and meet a bunch of crazy actors or you can meet a bunch of artists. You can meet a bunch of people that are completely out of their fucking mind, full of shit, doing meth, doing Adderall all day, promising you the world, never delivering shit.

Or you can meet some of the people that you and I know from the comedy store. Yeah. Like you're in a family. Like you're part of the comedy store family. Yeah, that's true. You go down there and there's so many of us. I mean, I hate to keep bringing it up, but it's a goddamn love fest at that place, you know? It's very interesting.

It's beautiful, right? People are like, oh, that's weird. The energy is bad. Not anymore. I'm like, it's a frat in a way, you know? And it's a thing. It's a different place for sure than it's ever been before. But there's no bad energy at the comedy store.

That's a goddamn hug fest. Well, I felt a little something when I first went there. That's probably uncomfortable probably you know what brought me to the store honestly um i because i started in the urban rooms and they didn't want to book me because it was too far it was too experimental my style so i was like i'm gonna try to get in the comic store and i was like i broke in the club before i know how tough it is or whatever and they's like they you can't go there they don't they don't let black comics in they racist and i was like they racist i was like man

i've been dealing with racism my whole life that's easy that's a mental thing and that's what i did but you think the comedy store was racist that's what i heard who said that like a lot of black comics were saying that when i got here i bet they weren't that funny well it's a different you know it's a different style first off and uh racism is mental like you know to me hollywood is racist you go in the room to be like too light too dark too tall too short too fat but then it's sexist then it's yeah it's a bunch of ageist then it's yeah it's uh sizist like if they they don't like fat people there's a lot of things that Hollywood is. But it's because they're trying to fill a part. Yeah.

They have an idea in their head of what it's going to be. And I'm like, if you let that get to you. I went through so much mentally that I was like, that ain't going to stop. That's nothing. Yeah, but still, if they were racist, they still wouldn't hire you. What the comedy store is, is they get a lot of pressure to be more you know this more diverse more i know i've seen it i've talked to them about it yeah what they try to do is just book the funniest people that's what they always try to do just before the guy was booking

it was fucking crazy but his idea he's probably thought he was doing the right thing he did well that's how i made it through that you know i mean so everything else yeah yeah you know so everything else was easy i sat there and listened to the talks and you let it you could let it affect you or you can or you could be like fuck it well people don't know that that that stopped like what like two years ago that guy stopped working there yeah and uh from then, it's become a completely different environment. It's insane now. It's so much better. And I'm glad I'm a part of it, like, as far as making the cut,

because the talent, as far as what people got going on, I still feel like a regular comic compared to what the people I'm on stage with now. And that says something about me of how i feel confident wise but also let me know like you know i gotta get you know whatever else i need to get done done you know i mean like i should be like a monster big boy i feel like i should be a monster big boy a monster big boy amongst amongst the big boys you know i mean i get it like like because after a while you do rooms and you're the funniest person in the room and that can make you cocky right but then one night somebody don't show up or somebody don't want to follow joe rogan and

you have to follow joe rogan and then you learn what season is on a different level and you can't cheat your way of being seasoned in anything you know you gotta put your time in you gotta put your time in yeah yeah and that's one of the things the comic store has always been very good at yeah giving guys opportunities because of the fact that also there's a bunch of people on it at night there might be you know yeah any people on an average lineup is like's like 13 or 14 people. 12? So 12 people doing 15-minute sets, and the show goes on all night.

So you're going to get some opportunities if you're a young guy or a young girl to go on like right after Chris D'Elia or right after, you know, a Joey Diaz or Ron White. You get a chance to see these people take these tough spots after they just watched. You go on after Ron White, you're going on after someone. These people love, they love that guy. They come to see him. They're excited when he's there. They're all googly eyed. That was their time. There's a bunch. If Ron White's at the comedy store, there's a good chance that a bunch of people in the audience came there specifically to see him.

So if you go on right after him, you have to introduce them to the world of Byron Bowers. You know, it takes a little time. You got to, like, ease them in. You got to relax them. And now, you know, Ron's gone. I know he's only here for 15 minutes, but he's gone. And now I'm going to come up. And it's a very, very unique environment in that sense because it gives us a chance to also see how other people do that

and also see, I mean, you're going to get a chance to see 12 different people's styles if you sit there the whole night. Yeah, that's true. It's so much difference in their style. It's so funny. I mean, big difference between you, who's really funny, and a guy like Michael Kosta, who's already really funny or uh as well all really funny but when you look at the two of you guys together what you both have in common is that you both have like all this really cool potential

and you might see that 10 times yeah that's true night so you know and it's weird because tommy told me this he was like look we started you in the belly we're gonna put you in a late now he broke the whole thing down for me he's like your stuff is regional right he's like i'm gonna put you up in front of these international people at two o'clock in the morning and i was like what and what happened was i started learning how to communicate what i thought was funny versus tell jokes right and then he said by the time we put you in the main room with these guys to do theaters you will learn how to perform in front of a group of people between 220 000 yeah by the time you master these rooms so he and to me like regardless he was i listened to what

people say he told to them but he didn't have no conversations with me he just made it it just prolonged what i thought i was ready for but by the time I got to the main room and I'm used to doing these intimate or alti rooms and I'm performing behind like you or Louie and I'm seeing like oh this is a broader audience and I gotta perform I gotta walk the stage I gotta I can't do it like I've been doing it in the OR. Right. I got to up the ante. And it made me grow as a comic. And I tell people now, like, yeah, you perform in the main room at midnight, you're going to be just as strong as somebody who does it at 8 o'clock by the time it's all over.

And when you go to another club and you get an 8 o'clock spot, boom, you're going to kill it. Yeah. It's like running with weights on. Yeah. For sure. I just taped's like running with weights on. Yeah. For sure. I just taped Seesaw for this HBO. I was at Just for Love, and I did that gala show they have there.

And we had to do a warm-up show. And my warm-up was so strong, I had to close the taping. You know? I had to close the taping. What do you mean? Because they had me, like, up at a certain time. Oh, you had to close the show. Yeah, I had to close the taping. What do you mean? Because they had me up at a certain time. Oh, you had to close the show. Yeah, I had to close the taping.

And I didn't want to close the taping, but in their mind, they was like, no, you're strong enough to do this. You know what I mean? And my first time with the Montreal, I went up first doing my audition. Montreal Comedy Festival? Yeah, the first time I did the callback that got me to Montreal I went up first and I didn't want to go first but the set was so strong it affected the next three comedians after me because people were just staring at him and when you do content like you guys but did it affect them or did they just

not be that good well that's a lot of what it is right it's like when someone sees you kill what the one of the big things that happens, one of the beautiful things about the comedy store, about what you're talking about going on after all these different people that are killing, is you learn how to relax. There's a lot of what happens is when a guy has to go on after someone that's really strong is that they panic. And when they panic, they can't even be themselves, which is not as funny as that guy.

Yeah, that's true. I used to feel that was a big thing that happened to me. I would always go on after, there's a ton of guys that are going after, but one of the ones who I'd always bomb after was Martin Lawrence. He was just too good back then. Yeah, that's true. He was too good and too famous and too popular. And he would do like 45 minutes. And then I would do whatever, like 15 minutes after him.

Yeah. And I always bombed. But I always, that was the spot that I got. And I realized like a bunch of things, I would see, hear my own jokes come out and knew they were not good. Like I didn't think they were good. Yeah. So I realized like, okay, I've got to like change pretty much everything about my approach

because what I'm doing is I got comfortable. I found like a little area that I could sort of write and perform in. These are the jokes that I've sort of gotten, try to work with, and I didn't try to expand enough. And when you get stuck into a situation where you have to kind of duke it out for survival, it makes you reassess. Like, why is all this bad? Like, what's going wrong? Like, what am I? People don't like doing that because if you do, everybody wants to think they're a finished product, right? That's like, that's going wrong? Like, what am I? People don't like doing that. Because if you do, everybody wants to think they're a finished product. Like, that's the comfort zone, right?

Everybody wants to stay inside their comfort zone. This is it. I'm good. I'm pretty happy with the way things are. Like, okay. But if you do that, like, it's going to take too long. Like, if you really want to get, you want to be like a Martin Lawrence, like, you're not going to do it by being comfortable. It's just not going to happen.

Yeah, that's true. That's why I came up to you that night i had to follow you and was like yo that was some heavy weights right there you know i mean off alone just content like yeah just the content and life experiences and saying stuff i'm learning like okay if i tell these these stories about my dad schizophrenia and stuff they don't even have to be the funniest. They're just so interesting. They hold weight. Yeah. That if a funny guy come up and talk about relationships, people still going to be like, man, that last shit was crazy.

But when I started doing that, people weren't just coming up to me saying, you're funny no more. They were just like, man, I know what that's like because my aunt is paranoid, schizophrenic. And to me, that's the universe saying, aha, now you on to something. But that only comes through failure. To me, like you improve through failure. Like the light bulb was invented through failure. You know, I mean, not through getting it right the first time. It took 10,000 times for that thing to get perfect, you know. thousand times for that thing to get perfect you know so yeah i think also what i think a big part of what you just said that's important is you were talking about the way it feels when you're listening to it that it's it's not like your standard relationship stuff that it's something

that's in in some ways more more enticing right it's an interesting subject like oh schizophrenia hmm like there's something there's weight to it right yeah it's honest it's honest like my my black lives matter stuff is honest and it's not gonna get me liked by people but it's how i feel you know i mean and it's and it's it's it's even to me it's a little messed up how i feel about the situation but it's honest at the moment how I feel about it can you talk about it? well I can but to me

the worst part of me about the video is that he got shot in front of a Toyota Camry and I'm like that's how shallow I am if it was me I would have found a Benz or something to crawl near just because I know it's going to look good because I'm about to go viral and I want to look good before I would have found a Benz or something to crawl near just because I know it's going to look good because I'm about to go viral. Right. And I want to look good before I get turned into a hashtag

because that's what the police are doing is turning niggas into hashtags. And I turned to somebody that looked white. I was like, you know, the average lifespan for a young black man, 25, but hashtags live forever. So it's the thing about fear, death and shallowness. And like, that's the complexity of like my bits but i have to admit and that's a true how i really felt you know when he hit the car and i was like oh that the car was bouncing i'm like look at the suspension on that but that's what makes it funny to people you know i mean that's what makes it fun to the people but i have to learn to you know as artists we learn and you do this you learn to let go of

those things but the more work i don't get the more honest i become because you don't you stop really trying to fit in and you don't care if they trying to book a nice black guy no more you get paid you take another jacket off you take another shirt off till you just up there with no shirt on like look i'm in my 30s i got wrinkles right here now but i never got laid more in my life you know like it's just honest like and it's something relieving it's something whatever from a kid who was quiet growing up and held everything in it's such a release into being able to put this stuff out yeah that's probably something a lot of people don't understand, right? Do you feel a lot of people don't understand that?

Like that where you're coming from is not just where you are now, but it's where you started out. Yeah. You're taking particular joy in your freedom. It's particularly unusual the way you're expressing yourself. Yeah, and it's that vulnerability particularly unusual the way you're expressing yourself yeah and it's and it's it's being vulnerable it's that vulnerability that people talk about but as you grow as i grow as a person my comedy has grown yeah it's got to happen yeah it doesn't it doesn't happen i read something

in the day on jen kirkman and it was talking about uh she was talking about comedy is one of those things you actually do get better at when you get older and it's one of those things a rare thing for women too that they're still like like a 40 year old woman doesn't have a lot of opportunity as an actress you know i mean kind of play some mom roles and stuff like that as far as like to lead something but a 40 year old comic like a lot of them are just kind of getting started yeah that, that's true. Like, look at Sarah Silverman. She's better now than ever. Man. And she's, like, what is she, like, 46 or something like that?

She's fine. She's, like, everything. Like, attractive and sexy. Sexiness with a woman, like, it just grows on them. It's not the way you look. It's the way you carry yourself and the way you move when you talk. So you're trying to say you're a fan? You're sending out the bat signal?

No, I mean, I told her that before, but I look at it like, I'm talking about, like sending out the bat signal? No, I mean, I told her that before, but I look at it like, I'm talking about all women now. You know what I mean? You told her that before? Yeah, I told her she's an attractive looking woman. You know what I mean? Like, I've been in the green room with her.

Respected the boundaries. You know what I mean? Not stared at her while she looked down at her notebook and worked on her bits. She's a very nice person, too. Yeah, she's nice. She's very friendly.

She's nice outside of that. Don't get all, like, feminist over that shit. Yeah, no, no, for sure. For sure. She's real nice person too. Yeah, it's very nice. She's nice outside of it. Don't get all like yeah No, sure shit, but for sure. She's real friendly, too She's uh, and by the way, I'm talking about all women with that ladies you like if you have self-esteem problems Like we all do and don't think oh cuz your hair doesn't look a certain way It's all there, but it kind of comes when you stop giving a fuck You know you mean sexiness yeah in some ways yeah because people that are like super nervous about everything every aspect about

them they get uh they're draining they're exhausting because you know that there's a lot going on there this is too much chaos doesn't allow you to be comfortable when someone's comfortable in their own skin they don't give a fuck like it's like oh i kind of like being around you yeah you relax me you let me know that it's okay to not give a fuck that's what that's like the benefit of the true not give a fuck people true not give a fuck people make you appreciate things better women say i look sexy now and it's like what who are they why are they lying i don't know why they lying there's something some energy they feel and i don't believe them. Because to me, I'm still that kid.

Look, you're a talented guy. That's what it is. My mom's still that kid with the scar on his face and the crooked teeth, you know? Well, you're a handsome black gentleman. And you're funny as shit. Do I smell good, though, Joe? You smell like roses? I just laugh.

That's what I hear. But, you know, I mean, talent is a big thing, too, right? Yeah. You see a lot of talented people in all sorts of different businesses, even like businessmen. Like a businessman is, well, she's just after him for his money. Maybe. You know, maybe that guy has that really beautiful wife because they're just after him for his money. Or maybe they're attracted to his talent for being

successful like there's a little bit of that too it's not just the money yeah like i don't think women would be as attracted to a guy who just won the lottery and got 500 million dollars as they would to some guy who's some media mogul who started his own business built it up into an empire and now has 500 million dollars that's true those guys are different like they have that wizard air about them like this guy well you know like a certain type of like Elon Musk you know how much pussy Elon Musk must have to beat away from him yeah how many girls are just bombing on him just constantly because he's a super genius multi-billionaire with several successful businesses he invented fucking paypal he's

built his own cars that run on electricity he's making a fucking rocket ship to go to the moon he's making a hyperloop that's gonna go go to San Francisco in 30 seconds or whatever the fuck it is. And I'm still questioning. I looked at his stock today. I'm still questioning. But a part of me is like, this is going to be like the neck of General Electric. That's what I'm telling people in my mind. The thing he's going to do with energy, you know.

He's doing that with everything. He's a super winner. There's certain guys that are just super winners. He's doing that with everything. He's a super winner. There's certain guys that are just super winners. And he seems to come without any of the baggage that most super winners come with. You know, there's a lot of baggage that most of these, like, crazy entrepreneur-type characters that are also geniuses come with.

He doesn't seem to—he's, like, remarkably stable for someone who's that fucking smart and successful. He's like a goddamn alien, that guy. It's weird because I hear chicks talk about the Silicon Valley guys who made money now. And it's like, they said, yeah, they nerds, but now they got money and power. So they act like that. When you see them out, they 10 women, you know what I mean? Kissing all on their neck and acting like the guys who used to beat them up, the jocks, you know what I mean? They get bullied. But if you look at the

Warren Buffetts and the Bill Gates and the guys who were just like, yeah, this is my lady right here. Spent all my other time working on algorithms. But it's a new day now. You know? Warren Buffett still lives in the same fucking house in Omaha. Yeah, me and Hannibal was in that

neighborhood. Did you see his house? Nope, but we Airbnb'd a property, and they stared at us. When you Airbnb a property in that community, and you have to have a cookout at 5 o'clock in the morning, you're going to get some stares the next day. You had a cookout at 5 o'clock in the morning?

Yeah, a show after party, and then... Was it like, were you making a lot of noise or something? I don't think so. Just the average noise that, you know, people make

after they leave the club. That's pretty loud. You know, stumbling around. Five o'clock in the morning? That shit would be annoying as fuck if you lived next door

to that house and, you know, you're trying to get some sleep. I think so, probably. Yeah. I mean, the house across the street

had three Volvos in the driveway. I was like, oh, that's a lot of safety. Yeah, that's a lot of white people. That's too much safety. They must be furious at you for waking them up. I don't know if we woke them up, but the grill was outside. So they could smell it. Yeah.

They had Chilean bass, and we came with an appetite. But don't you think that that was probably pretty loud? Like how loud were you guys? I don't think it was that loud, but I fell asleep. Oh. But we did turn people away, though. How many people were there? I don't think it would probably be like five or seven.

But more came. That's chaos. Five or seven people that are awake at 5 o'clock in the morning. Those people were probably lit up, loud as fuck, barbecuing, doesn't bother you? I slept well. It don't bother me, but at the same time, I don't. If I look at it from my neighborhood,

my neighborhood that I live in, and they bring that bouncy castle over and they play the mariachi at 5 o'clock in the morning, which happens, I'd be like, oh, okay, I get it. I get it. I don't hate on them, though. Right. But that's the neighborhood that you chose to live in.

Yeah. Right? That's what they do. Like, you're saying you live in a Mexican neighborhood? Yeah. Mexican people have some fucking parties. They got roosters in my neighborhood. You just got a deal.

Oh, yeah. They go off at 5 a.m., 3 a.m. in the morning. Dude, my gardener had the son of one of my dogs. My gardener's a friend of mine. Yeah. And he's cool as fuck. Doesn't speak very much English, but he's cool as fuck.

He's got like a hundred fucking roosters. A hundred of them. Yeah. In his yard. His yard is like a chicken fighting ring. Chicken fighting

is different, man. It's funny. Like, you tell people that you know somebody that fights dogs. Yeah. And they people that you know somebody that fights dogs. Yeah. And they look at you like, what a monster. What a horrible person.

Because dogs are really complex, and they love you, and they give you unconditional love. And for you to violate that and making them fight each other is fucked up. I get it. I agree with it 100%. I'm not saying that. But you tell people that you know somebody who fights chickens, and they go, really? Like, they don't even get grossed out. I mean, there's some super vegans who probably get really pissed off or animal rights activists.

But the average person doesn't give a fuck about a chicken. And if those chickens are fucking each other up with spurs on, they put, like, razor blades on their back feet. Yeah. And they cut each other up. I noticed that. I saw a tape before Vic went down of a recruitment training tape. And that was my first time seeing the animals electrocuted and how they breed them and stuff like that. This was a real tape that was going around the hood because people was fighting these animals.

And I know people that executed dogs that i'm closely friends with you know i mean and it's very you know interesting situation but once again you talking about people who was like oh we was treated worse than that you know right it's still that innately that's in you but it's shocking when people come out against dogs like that. And that's why you have certain communities like, what? We get shot by the cops or, you know, and all this other stuff. Well, there's certain communities where dog fighting is super normal, too. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's normal.

But I don't mean normal in that it's like less offensive than how the adult human beings are treated in that neighborhood. I mean, it's a part of the culture. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. In the South, right? Yeah, yeah. I know a dude who had like 30 dogs.

He used to keep 30 dogs in his yard. He's a professional pool player. He had a big-ass yard down in, I think it was in Kentucky. And he was part of what he gambled on. He had dogs that they would train and they would fight him. You know, and the person that I am right now looks at that and goes, well, that's a fucking terrible thing to do. Like, why would you do that? Like, that should be absolutely illegal.

But him, whatever his life was like, him growing up in wherever he grew up yeah that was a normal thing so i uh i absolutely judge him i absolutely judge anybody that does that but it's weird i understand yeah it's weird like and to me i think understanding comes from me personally like if we could really assess ourselves and look at our demons and accept our demons right for how bad like that we could really assess ourselves and look at our demons and accept our demons, right, for how bad, like, that we could possibly do some real fucked up things. Right. Then it would make us judge each other less and then a conversation could be had to try to understand. But, yeah, it's certain things that you see that you accept depending on where you are. You know what I mean?

that you accept depending on where you you are you know i mean yeah and more than a lot of ways then what you're saying is like those those principles of life and those things that you're talking about like these different patterns that you see in electronics or in the universe you kind of see that in life you see that in comedy too right like exactly what you were talking about in comedy like having go through things making mistakes making things like really obvious and then realizing whoa i gotta look at this for what it really is versus people who look at things through a distorted perception like most of the people that you know that have distorted perceptions of their own abilities or distorted perceptions of their own life or where they fit in in the world those are the people that don't progress because they're not looking at themselves yeah they're not they're not taking these assessments of themselves

accurately so they're not moving forward they stay where they're at because they think that where they're at with whatever they're trying to do is good enough or it's perfect or it's better than it really is that's true but yeah and i what i learned from my last my acid trip that the one you saw me the day after is that yeah the in with in art and in our genes because i saw idea or i saw conception what i told you yeah it moves everything forward like art moves everything forward and the gene like you have a child or you have an idea that moves the culture or the human species and everything continues to evolve and move forward yeah and without those things we would we continue to make the same mistakes or we're stuck with certain things you know yeah we're fueled by

these things that we create whether they're innovation or whether they're a piece of art a movie you know we're fueled by these things and sometimes in a negative way i mean how many people have you met that act like a movie like they think they say things like they're in a movie oh yeah a bunch of people i know a dude who got into a fight with another dude and as they were scrapping like as they're about to fight He goes tonight we dine in hell He yelled that out at him and the dude told me I'm like are you fucking serious? He's like yeah, you really really said that to me. Oh, that's hilarious. And the guy was like what did you fucking say tonight? We dine in hell and so they get in a fight and the guy who didn't say that turned out to be a really good wrestler

so the whole thing was a disaster for the other guy well that guy did dine in hell the guy who said that dined in hell that night well not i mean just he thought he was in a fucking movie or something i mean he was drunk too there's a lot going on right but it's just that movies create these scenarios in people's minds that they almost want to reinvent in the real world if a similar situation presents itself you know yeah you really think you could say something that fucking stupid i mean i would i've said some things before that sound poetic you know i mean and you know especially the throes know, especially in the Throes of Passion, you know? The Throes of Passion by Byron Powers.

Oh, that even sounds poetic. You know what I mean? That should be the title of your first Netflix special, The Throes of Passion. Throes of Passion. By Byron Powers. And you just sitting there with your legs crossed with, like, some nice slippers on in front of a fire. That's what I call it now. Reading a book. That's what I call it now. Reading a book.

That's what I call it now. I don't even say fucking no more. I call it because I feel I do something a little more a little more creative. A little more different.

I don't call it creative. There's a lot more involved. Yeah, there's a little more passion involved. So you're trying to separate yourself. Like your branding,

your style of fucking. Oh, I wouldn't do that. That'll be interesting. That's a lot of fucking right there. Well, you think about how many different kinds

of music there is. There's only one kind of fucking, you know? Like, music is a style of expressing what's going on inside your mind, your imagination.

So is fucking in a lot of ways. We should have, like, different classifications for fucking. I mean, we kind of do. We have basic bitch fucking, which is like missionary, little kisses. Gorilla fucking. Gor for fucking. I mean, we kind of do. We have basic bitch fucking, which is like missionary,

little kisses. Gorilla fucking. Gorilla fucking. Yeah, that's very important. You need a couch. You got to stuff them in the corner of the couch. That's what gorilla fucking

is about. You got to grab a hold of things. You got to be able to have some traction. You might want to keep your shoes on. You need some traction.

I got this Nike rope that's leather. Well, that's weird. I pulled it out on this young lady. Oh, Jesus. And I put it around her neck like it were a puppy, like a leash. Mm-hmm. And she was like, what are you doing?

And I was like. That's the exact right thing to ask. And I was like. Normal shit. I was like, I'll show you. I was like, I'll show you. Get up and try to move when she got up and try to move. Oh, Jesus. Like that. Did she like it? move. When she got up and tried to move. Oh, Jesus.

Like that. Did she like it? But yeah, she liked it. And it turned her on. And then to the fact where she wanted it around her neck. And I put it around her neck. And the more I, you know, pulled. It's a white girl, right?

I don't know what to say. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, it's got to be. You know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. Jewish probably. You know what I mean? So.

Super liberal. Jews and blacks. Jewish, probably. You know what I mean? Super liberal. Jews and blacks. Jews and blacks. No, so as I'm pulling it, she got more turned on. Whoa. And then she died. So she started licking my thing. And I got to a point.

Oh. Because I'm a skinny dude. Licking your arm? She started licking your arm? I'm a skinny dude. So my wrist was shaking like this. And in my mind, I was like, this ain't me. You know? And then I just let the ropes go hmm you followed your instincts your instincts were to not kill her that's good

oh she wasn't gonna die i don't think i'm that strong i think you could definitely kill someone with a belt around their neck that was a leather rope well it's kind of like the same thing isn't it leather rope a belt what kind kind of leather? Very good. Very good leather. You know what I mean? Very good leather. It seems like you could definitely kill somebody with a rope around their neck. It would hurt if you hit them with the leather, you know.

Well, then you can kill them. If you could, like, pull hard enough, you could kill somebody with any kind of, like, thin wire. I think I could probably kill someone with a boot lace. That's probably true. I'm pretty sure I could. That's probably true. That's probably true. Be careful out there, people. If I got a good grip on it, yeah. It's not hard.

The human neck is real vulnerable. You know the weird part about that is having a condom on. That's hilarious. What part of this is safe? That's hilarious. Like, what part of this is safe? That's hilarious. She's got ligature marks on her neck. But STD.

She didn't get AIDS, but she still died. STD free. Yeah, rough sex is fucking strange, man. You got to be real careful with that. Because if you do weird shit and beat each other up and the girl goes to the cops you're fucked yeah especially not the same race and that's when black people be like i told you i told you i was reading about this thing in toronto um there was this uh this judge in toronto that sentenced this man he was convicted of rape and he had consensual sex in his opinion

with this woman and this woman had sent him these text messages saying you know come on over let's have some savage sex and this and that and then afterwards when he broke up with her she decided or after they had a bunch of these experiences, I forget how it works. Yeah. Either way, she lied to the judge and to the court about sending those texts because she had deleted them, but then they somehow or another recovered them, and they found out that she lied about that. And she lied about a few other things too. But the judge started quoting all this feminist theory

and quoting different feminist writers and wound up getting this guy convicted, which is beyond a reasonable doubt. Like as soon as someone says, I did not send him a text asking him for sex. And then you find out they did in fact send that text asking him for sex and it deleted. Well, then you've got reasonable doubt. Like instantaneously you have doubt because you have to go, okay, What about the rest of this stuff you're telling me isn't true I'm not saying that he didn't force her to give him a blowjob or that he did. I don't know I wasn't there

He doesn't the judge doesn't know either. Yeah, but in my opinion you Instantaneously have to have a reasonable doubt when you find out that someone's willing to lie about certain aspects of what happened. Yeah. So, uh, I was, I was watching this and I was listening to this, uh, this woman, um, from, what is that? What's that conservative website? The blaze or something like that. Is that what it is? That Glenn Beck thing? Is that it? Is that the blaze? She did this breakdown of it. And I was like, God, it it's so it's so dangerous when you get involved with crazy people you're sticking your dick in crazy people like you don't you don't really know what's gonna happen like you're you're there choking that girl with a rope and she's licking your arm like where's this gonna escalate to you know you can only things only easy a volvo Oh, easy. A Volvo and a house and kids. You know what I mean?

It's the only place to go. Or she doesn't know that you've been snipped and you don't tell her that you can't get her pregnant. So you keep pumping loads into her and you got to keep ramping up the sex. And so now she's wearing a helmet and you're fucking driving her through a wall. Oh, that'll be interesting right there. But you're doing that to make her happy, but you really don't like it at all. Yeah. Both of you are confused. She thinks it makes you happy, but you think it makes her happy.

And you're just giving her CTE and throwing her head through wallboard. I mean, someone has for sure putting a helmet on and someone fucked them from behind and slammed their head to a wall. That's 100%, right? That's definitely happened. I think so. What are you looking up, Jamie? I was looking up this case, but I stumbled across something I haven't seen before. Did you know Canadian lawyers have to wear an outfit like this?

Thank God. So you know they're ridiculous. I looked up Canadian lawyers and they're all wearing it. All the lawyers have to dress like that? That's hilarious. Oh, my goodness. Look at this fucking outfit they have that? That's hilarious. Oh my goodness. Look at this fucking outfit they have on. They might as well be working at one of those reenactment restaurants.

Medieval Times. That's so stupid. That's why none of them are smart. They got wigs too? They are barristers. Male barristers. Make more than double their female. What does it say there?

It's dot, dot, dot. What does it say? Do the female have to wear wigs too? If not, that's just wrong. That's a very good question. That's just wrong. Very good question. That would be bullshit.

Oh, they're female colleagues. Male barristers with their ridiculous wigs. That is goddamn hilarious. Wow. That's in Australia, though. That you just pulled up? Still, there's parts of the world, makes you wonder, like,

what would happen if the United States hadn't been formed? There's parts of the world that are still wearing wigs when they're doing their law stuff. Ooh, she's hot as fuck. Well, the outfit just changed. Classic portrait of a woman in Canadian law.

She don't have to wear a wig, but the outfit looks better on her. You want her to visit you in jail? No. She tells you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to convict you, and I'm going to work to get you out. She don't have no oatmeal. She better come with a different outfit. In jail, you have to bring in oatmeal?

Yes. I mean, she look like she would carry some Quaker steak. What is it called? Wait, Quaker steak is old. Quaker steak. Quaker oats. Quaker oats. Yeah.

Yeah, there's like some. That's a funny one, right? Like, what the fuck does pilgrims have to do with oats? Did they grow the oats? Is that what the deal is? He's a Quaker. It's not a pilgrim, right? Propag is? He's a Quaker. It's not a pilgrim, right? Propaganda.

He's a Quaker. Quaker oats. That's like saying I'm going to buy Mormon granola. Right? Imagine how many people would buy Scientology flakes. Oh, that'll be dope. Right? I mean, that's exactly what it is.

They're clear. How about Catholic crisp? That's my morning cereal. I enjoy Catholic crisp. Everybody eat out the same bowl? Yeah. How can... What is Quaker oats? they're clear how about catholic crisp that's my morning cereal i enjoy catholic crisp everybody eat out the same bowl yeah how can what what is quaker oats it's religious cereal what what is it what the fuck does a quaker have to do anything they didn't give a fuck about quakers quakers were so innocuous that they were willing to use them as props like the way they sell klondike bars with polar bears they used a qu Quaker. It just says a prop.

That was the first. That was the first. Right? That's hilarious. Don't you think that's what they did? That do make sense. Totally. I bet Quakers have fucking zero interest in Quaker Oats.

I bet they don't get paid. I bet they get fucked over on the commissions. I bet the Quaker Oats company keeps all the money. Pepsi owns it now. There you go. Wow. Those Quakers are out there going all the money. Pepsi owns it now. There you go. Wow. Those Quakers are out there going, what the fuck? This is ours.

This is our shit. This is our outfit. But you look at that outfit and you go, that's some wholesome oats. I bet that oats doesn't even swear. That oats doesn't drink. That oats makes its own butter. That oats lives in a nice nostalgic way in a field and they plow with a fucking like a regular mechanical plow and they do everything old-school Wow right my

grandmother was telling about the cotton gin last time I went to see she like 90 she on her way out you tell me about this we were in the back of the Comedy Store yeah it was interesting and so she wasn't alive when the cotton gin was created mother her mother these are the stories she heard my grandmother was alive i was like what drugs did y'all do when you were young and she said aspirin just came out jesus so that's what that was the that was the thing you know i mean you mean people took aspirin for recreation no she was just like that was just the that was just the thing outside of like you know homegrown because they was formers my grandmother was like the remind me of the help the movie the help you know

the hills the help the help yeah i don't know that movie it's like it's about the uh that black lady who raised a white family type thing like what movie is that the help is that a recent movie yeah really um who was in? Who was in it? Who was in it? Whoopi Goldberg. White family raised by Whoopi Goldberg. Hilarity ensues. Emma Stone was in it.

Here's a picture. What fucking movie is this? The hell? I have no idea what this movie is. So my grandmother... So those two black women raised those two white women? Well, in a sense, in like the relationship that happened. Like I went to one of my grandmother's birthday party. I think she was like 80.

And there was a white family there. And I'm like, who are these people? And my family was like, that's the family that your grandmother helped use the nanny for. And they remained close because of, you know, she helped raise these young ladies. You know what I mean? And they fly my mom, my grandmother out to Philly to spend time with them and stuff like that. And it's an interesting, you know, situation. So just to hear these stories and, you know, my grandmother telling me about when the cotton gin and she

broke it down like yeah it would take the cotton and take the seeds out and let it go and people were amazed by this they just watching it like oh like that was the thing that people looked at like how people look at computers like oh man what are we gonna do like the napster revelation yeah like what are we gonna do for work like this thing is here to put us out of work and yeah how people do a day's work and gotta like she said once slavery ended and people had to get paid how somebody i don't know if it was her father somebody did a a job and they gave him a dime you know wow so now you're not getting lodging or food or nothing like that you gotta earn a wage and you get like a dime like for doing like some heavy you know things and this is blowing my mind amongst everything else that's going on

you know yeah in the world you know you know what's crazy that person living that life and making a dime and living in a modern a semi-modern to us you know modern in its context society is doing so much better than someone who was born 200 years before that yeah and so much better than someone you know any any time prior to that so So check this out. My grandmother's 90. So the women on her side of the family are longer. My grandmother's mother died at 107. So between them two, you got over 200 years. That's incredible. So it's just an interesting time frame.

You know, when we look back at people that lived like a couple hundred years ago we think to ourselves like fuck that yeah you know especially if you were a slave or if you look if even if you were a free person living in america in 1810 let's just go to 1810 just a regular person like you and i don't want to do that you don't want to go back to that fucking life like good lord good luck getting fresh milk good luck finding vegetables in most cities like good luck like getting everything delivered to you they don't even have cars yet man well this is a bit this is a good thing i since i live i was born in athens my first six years in athens is a small town where uga is you've been to a Athens before. So everything I ate vegetable-wise was grown. In that area. In the yard, in the backyard.

That's amazing. The grapes were on the vine. The tomatoes came out the ground. The chickens, you know, my grandfather hauled chickens. So the eggs came out of the backyard. We were hunting dogs. He shot deer. We would fish on Saturdays, cut the fish heads off, get the skin off, and then fry them in the yard.

He took the grapes from the vines and made wine. And if he caught an abundance of fish, he would keep enough for the family. And all the neighbors traded food. So my first six years is like, when you know when you're eight or ten they put a pellet gun in your hand you work your way up to the hunting rifles um so that's what i left when i moved to the city that's interesting so i was a country so vegetables and everything tasted good you know you get the corn off the stalk and grandma was and corn was yellow. It was like a lighter color. It was like a whitish color. She made creamed corn from scratch.

The preserves, your jelly was made. The rabbits, the squirrel, the pecans fell out of the tree. You hungry, you just go outside any time and grab food. You grab two peanuts, squeeze them with your hand and you got a snack, you know. And that was the first, like, six years, like, food was there. Wow. Beans, you put them,

you get a bucket, you open them, you run your thumb through them, which I didn't like none of that, but that's what it was. Well, there's something beautiful about that, right? For sure. At this point, yeah.

At this point, because they're overcharging for that stuff now. But farming is not easy, but they made it look easy. Well, it's large scale. Everybody could do it like that. You'd have to have small populations of people with good pieces of land. Like, you know, I'm sure your grandfather had to have some. My grandfather had a similar situation in New Jersey. He had a pretty good-sized backyard, and it was all garden.

He had his area where he would drive to his driveway, and then everything to the right of the driveway was all sticks in the ground and tomato plants. My grandfather grew everything, and they turned their tomatoes into tomato sauce. My grandmother made homemade tomato sauce. And all of his vegetables he would grow everything that he would eat all year would be like in that garden that's a that was a normal thing for the immigrants you know for people who grew who came here from other parts of the world

where you know you had to have a supply of food yeah that's true i mean it only makes sense we figured out a way to truck things in people have you know once we start trucking things in nobody grows anything anymore i heard a story about people like not my uncle and his friend i have the money and they put three hundred dollars together and bought a goat and ate off that goat you know smart yeah they fed it a little bit and they ate off of it for like a month yeah if you if you kill a goat in your yard though and people find out about it this is my friend uh i don't need to say his name but my gardener guy that i was talking about earlier yeah he uh had well his name is jose it's not like you don't know you don't know which jose it is

i'm like i don't want to give away his identity and it's probably jose caseco no no but this uh he uh he got a goat and a goat, and him and his friends killed it in the yard and butchered it, and then they had a cookout. And the neighbor complained, apparently, and he didn't understand. Like, he was like, what are you, like, what's bothering you about this? Like, what is, he did not, like, he literally didn't understand. He's like, it's bothering you about this like what is he did not like he literally didn't understand he's like it's safe it's healthy like this is an animal i know i know where the meat's coming from you know he's trying to explain this to me and it's broken english yeah he's like i know where this animal's meat comes from like why would anybody have a problem with that if you

you buy meat yourself i don't know like he didn't understand you know he came from mexico he did just did not understand why someone have a problem with him killing a goat in a yard it's like of course i killed the goat in the yard where do you want me to kill it yeah like he didn't make sense to him they're like you can't kill a goat in the yard he's like where the fuck do you kill your goat and like you don't kill your goat it's strange like well where do you get your meat you go to the store he's like well but you don't know where that fucking meat even came from and his idea that was alien it's the logic man of how things happen mom it's weird and you like yeah if you talk to older people you you understand like struggle you know um and what people you know actually went through and on the good part like you, my grandma told me about the first dryer she had.

Whoa. And my grandma is like, you know, don't use it once a month. Once a month? Yeah, because they, you know, it's better to dry the linen in the sun. It's still better to dry your clothes in the sun because the sun kills bacteria. Really? That's why you want to, if you look at how to, when they say, how do you take care of denim and keep it from fading? They'd be like,

wet it and hang it in the sun because the sun kills the bacteria and gets rid of the smell. Wait a minute, jeans fade because of bacteria? Because of the, no,

you want to clean your jeans because it might get smells and when you break it in jeans, you really don't wash them like that. You know, you wear them just like everyday type stuff. And the dye in the denim fades and the cotton shrinks and all that right wash it so

you hang them in the sun you know to keep it from shrinking to keep it from shrinking and yeah it was heat though that was doing that just the water and then the evaporation from the extreme heat the extreme dryer from the dryer. That's what makes them shrink, right? Yeah, but if you're hanging in the sun, the sun still kills some of the bacteria and stuff. Makes sense. If you have a dry, if you have a like, we don't do it here, but I did something where I had to stay in a country home. And you wash like a sheet or a shirt and you're hanging in the sun.

And let the air hit it and it's just the freshness of the smell, you know? Mm. Um, and what was smart about this place, they put the lemon trees near the, the, the hanging place. So now your clothes got a lemon smell to it. Right. Cause the wind that comes through. That makes sense. Yeah.

That actually makes sense. But if you're in a city and it's polluted that's different that's different yeah your clothes might smell funky like that's the weirdest thing to me is uh when people around people who smoke cigarettes how strong the smell is in their clothes strong like i never realized it until i would uh come home from back when you could smoke in clubs um it was a big thing in comedy clubs man i mean everybody smoked it was just constant you would go to a bar everybody smoked you would go to comedy clubs everybody smoked and uh i remember not realizing what i smelled like and then taking a shower and then picking up my clothes and be like what the fuck yeah like they stunk it smells bad that is a weird thing

man that people have something that gives them cancer yeah it makes everyone around them stink like not even me i wasn't even smoking but being around those people made me stink and people are like who cares i need my smokes i used to smell like gasoline when i had the 944 because they had a hairline crack in the gas tank oh yeah so if you fill it all the way up the the fumes will get in the car my barracuda i used to have to drive with the window open fucking terrible smoke and fumes and shit we're getting in that car oh it's the worst smell i remember the gasoline smell i remember that car and i met you and i asked you about that car and you really broke it down kind of what and it was like oh it's a real old school car like the problems that people i know have were old schools they that car was built to look great that was the

problem yeah the suspension the setup and everything was very low it was very low to the ground because it was so low to the ground it would bottom out on things yeah it wasn't it didn't handle very well because it wasn't designed for that it was just designed to be like a really low car like it was tubbed so the back the back area where the back seat is was all cut out and then the frame was welded and bent up so that the wheel tucked deep into the back wheel well it looks great i've seen it made stupid as fuck i watched it being made uh and um you know i learned with my friends who got old school cars once you start you just can't modify one thing with certain cars you know especially when it comes to like

suspension and wheels and not doing the brakes well you know what they do now that's really interesting they do these different companies have suspensions and frames that they build for these old cars yeah that's one of the problems with those old cars you're like the suspension and the frames are just it's so whack yeah like you don't have fully independent suspension they're the way it's all set up is so old school. So they have some upgrades, and that can definitely enhance the way these cars perform. Yeah. But now they do. Certain companies like Art Morrison, they take a suspension and they build a frame. Say if you were going to build a 1969 Mustang, they would build a frame and suspension for the 69 Mustang.

And then you take the old body and you bolt it down to this modern frame and suspension. You have a car that performs infinitely better than the original car. It's going to be way stiffer. It's way better designed. And then they have all these suspension improvements. Now they've figured out a way to make suspensions that adjust the way a modern car does. So it adjusts constantly, like thousands of times a second. If you're driving a car, like you say, you get a brand new BMW 7 Series.

Those things are smooth as a baby's ass. Just, ooh, you drive them, they're so comfortable, man. And one of the reasons why they're so comfortable is the suspension is constantly adjusting. It's constantly adjusting to whether it's bumpy outside or smooth. And every bump that it hits, it calibrates what it needs to do to adjust for this impact. And you get this incredibly stabilized ride. Wow. I'm doing a shitty job of explaining.

There's a lot of people right now that are car experts like, you don't know shit about cars. That makes sense to me. I know enough to kind of butcher that. But now they know how to do that with old school cars. So they can take that 1969 Mustang and put a similar type of computerized suspension arrangement in it where it's constantly adjusting to the terrain. They're also figuring out how to do anti-lock brakes on old cars. They haven't figured out that totally yet. That's tough.

That's a little bit of a struggle. A friend of mine, he builds and sells cars, but he knows exactly which ones he likes, like the 71 Chevelle. Oh, yeah. He had the 68 Cobra, which I drove, And that was two cars that were scary I drove. The 68 Cobra Mustang, which he put 10,000 into the motor, and it was like over 500 horses. And if it rained a little bit, for me, it had a Kenny Bell blower on it. Oh, God.

And that was my first experience with a supercharger and how hyped they are. It's like you could lose control of that car. Easy. And a Viper. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. I drove a Viper before. Dude, I drove one of those once.

I rented one. I was valet. Woo! I got lucky. And just in idle, that car goes. It just goes. Oh, yeah. Have you seen the new ones?

Yeah, I saw the new ones. They have, pull this up. They have this new Viper. Viper AR something, I think it's called. I think that's what it's called. Attack, they have like an attack mode. This thing is fucking insane. It's basically a race car that you could buy.

But what they're doing with these Vipers is they're bringing them to these race tracks, and it just breaks every record. Every race track they take it on, thing break right breaks records and it looks ridiculous even in curves or just straight away oh fuck yeah curves it's got giant tires on it the tires are super wide and it's got more than 600 horsepower what is it called Jamie ACR ACR that's ACR you just gotta look at this thing the deep bevels in the hood look at that crazy get The deep bevels in the hood. Look at that thing.

Get the fuck out of here. Are you kidding me? It's supposed to be just a fucking preposterous automobile. And you could buy that at a store. I mean, it has ground effects that come right out of a race car. Yeah. But this thing is insane. When people review it it that's like you

in tapani canyon going sideways why not it was just a little bit you know if you go a little bit it's just that's just long enough yes less than a second is long enough oh for fun yeah to you know it's a great road keep play some more of that shit don't shut it off you know it's a great road. Keep, play some more of that shit. Don't shut it off. You know, it's a great road to, um, to go to. There's a road off of, um, the two. Chris. Like, Chris, uh. Yeah. Yeah, the, I know what you're talking about.

I don't know the name of it. It's a road off the two, but it's, um, like if you take the 210. Yeah. And, uh, you head towards like Pasadena and you go up into the mountains. Yeah. You know, there's this crazy abandoned roads where you might not have anybody out there except maybe like a dude on a motorcycle. And everything's like turny and twisty.

They do a lot of testing out there. If you go out there, you'll see like mules, like a car that they cover. Like they would take this car and then they would cover it over with like graphics. Yeah. Maybe even some plastic or something so you couldn't tell what it looked like i've seen that before it's kind of dope look at that thing jesus christ yeah they trying to get me to go up to somebody's trying to get me to go up to the crest highway up there off the two and one it's fun you should go up there go up there with your car because you don't even have to drive fast to have a good time up there but i don't drive

fast on any of them if there's a car in front me, I might slow up and wait for it to go by. But I'm doing like 40, 40, which is a lot. That's down a double for what you're supposed to do. Yeah. Well, with a car like this, you wouldn't be doing that. You'd be going a lot faster. That's the problem with these cars as opposed to like an old car. Like say if you got like an old BMW.

You know what I really like? 2002? Yeah. I love those. They're man yeah man and they're they're little and they're boxy and but when you drive those things apparently you feel everything they're so small I'll see this see if you could pull up the smoking tire 2002 um he uh some dude had a souped up one and not even souped up like he put a giant engine it was just like a really well done version of that engine but he's driving around in it i met matt

before he kind of fair yeah he came to comedy club twice he's a big comedy fan yeah he's a good dude he's he's a real good dude and he fucking loves cars So this is, give me some volume on this. This is, he's, what I really like about him too is he's like a regular dude. Like he's not trying to pretend to be some super professional presenter. He's just a guy who knows a fuckload about cars and really loves them.

Look at this thing, man. What year is that, Jamie? Really loves them. Look at this thing, man. What year is that, Jamie? No. No, that's the name of the car, Jamie. You think that car is for 2002?

Doesn't say what year? I was running, too. what year? I was running to. Let's scoot ahead so you can hear what it feels like when he's driving this thing. Yeah, here we go. A little too much geek. A little too geeked out. but it actually made its way all the way up to Formula 1. And they would use these used, seasoned M10 blocks to build their crazy turbo Formula 1 engines. And there's a really neat documentary about the history of the M10 engine. Okay. Pedals are great. See, that's what I'm saying. This dude's a serious geek when it comes to cars.

He really knows his shit, though. You know what I like when he's in the car with a person who built the car yeah how much time and money you put in it let me I put all this time and his money and his energy in it and he's like that's a pretty pretty you're not gonna find another car like this he's like we bought the drive it then he'll take off he'd like the brakes a little squishy and the suspension a little off but uh it's got a nice little pull to it like he just start off with the discs like just dis it off the top he Well, he just is honest.

Yeah. He's honest. What year is it, Jamie? 66 to 77. Dope little car, man. Little fucking beer can, though. You know what? I had a chance, a pleasure to meet, and I used to drive around downtown in my 944

and see if I could find him at night. Magnus? Yeah, Magnus. Yeah. Yeah. I had a pleasure meeting somebody was trying to get rid of a uh 928 and we went over there and he showed us around oh yeah no he's a real friendly guy yeah his place is amazing too those old he's so many old

porsches yeah i think he's got like one two three, 6. He's probably got at least 10 of them. No, there's more. I counted, like, 17 just in the main room. Wow. And he got some more, like, the 944s and 914s off the side. He's got a bunch of turbos, too. Yeah. Quite a few turbos now. He really got into a turbo phase where he's buying, like, those 930 turbos. Yeah, he's an interesting character, man, because his love of...

Oh, I see that. His crash, he fucked up. Oh, boom. Shit. Yeah, that was really dumb. He got a little silly. Wow. He plowed into the back or the side of his car, into the back of a giant...

It looks like a car carrier yeah just that's why you're not supposed to drive like that Byron you're not supposed to go sideways on public roads

I wasn't that sideways I just my ass wiggled a little bit I caught it his cars are all like pretty reasonably horse powered up too Magnus' cars

like he doesn't have anything really crazy. But Shark Works gave him one of their cars to drive around for a little. And Shark Works made an 800 horsepower GT2. And Magnus painted it like a different paint scheme. He likes those crazy paint schemes. I got a picture with that one. Oh, that GT2? Yeah, that was sitting outside.

Yeah. That car scared the fuck out of me. I with that one. Oh, that GT2? Yeah, that was sitting outside. Yeah. That car scared the fuck out of me. I drove that car. Oh, for real? Scared the fuck out of me. It's one of the few cars where I drove it once, I was like, eh, I'm good. Yeah.

I'm like, this is too much. I see yours, and I'm like, I'm good on that. I just want to stock, you know. I like naturally aspirated, because the way it pulls at a certain time, it's like taking a nice little breather in. There it is right there. Yeah, I saw that car.

That car is so fast. It just doesn't even make any sense. Oh, this thing's a riot. Let's flip back up. See, downhill with the gravity assist see he's um he's taking it around some corners here it's actually this is the exact same road where i took it i was there at this time i was there with them when they were doing this um but this car is too fast it's too fast i mean it's not maybe too fast for a race car driver,

but too fast for a guy like me. Because it just, you don't, like, one of the cool things about, like, that 2002 is you get to ring the engine out. There's a lot of range where you can drive it. You know, you rev it up, and that's where you get your power, and you can go plenty fast in it. But the handling of those cars, a lot lot of times is connected to the lightness and the the whole all the feel of the car is coming from the fact that it's not there's not

a lot there this car is a totally different experience this car is like all about managing the pedal because if you stomp on the pedal that fucking thing is going spinning it's way too powerful but you know it's one of those things where they keep coming up with new and improved cars every year every year cars get faster and faster and faster especially performance cars they've broken the three second barrier a lot of cars you could buy today go zero to 60 in less than three seconds there's a gang of them i want to drive a bugatti fuck or sit in one dude not drive it but just sit in one that might as well be a spaceship Yeah, that's true. There's a gang of them. I want to drive a Bugatti. Fuck that. Or a sit-in one. Dude.

Not drive it, but just sit in one. That might as well be a spaceship. Those Veyrons? Yeah. Those are ridiculous. Yeah, my homeboy, he built this 69 Shelby. The 68 got damaged, so the insurance had to cut him a check, and he spent that money

and built a 69 a 69 that I haven't drove and he don't drive it as much because it's worth a lot of money look at that

1,200 horsepower that's a lot that's ridiculous that's a ridiculous car I saw one of those the other day in Beverly Hills someone was bawling

was it the the yellow one the yellow and black one? No. What color was it? I don't remember what color. I want to say it was white, but it had Arab license plates on it, which is really interesting. Oh, yeah. They're getting these cars and these super rich dudes from Saudi Arabia.

Yeah. They bring them over for Saudi summer. See, that's what's going on right now. Where we are is hot as fuck. Where they live is crazy.

It's way hotter. Where they live is like 150 fucking degrees or something nutty. And so they come over here when they've got crazy oil money. They come over here

and they bring that, they bring these cars with their plates that are registered to those other places. and they drive them around They get away with it because they're super rich. I guess nothing dude Did you see that shit that happened where these guys were racing in Beverly Hills? They were racing with a Ferrari and a gt3 a Porsche gt3 and they were fucking

racing on a residential street in in Beverly Hills was on a residential street in Beverly Hills. Just flying through fucking red lights. And the neighbors saw them do it. So the neighbors all were fucking furious. They're all standing outside on their street, holding up their cameras and filming these guys, right? Here it is right here.

This guy's got a Ferrari. It looks like, I don't know which version, but in the GT3. I mean mean these guys are flying down residential roads You got two things run at the same time buddy you got two windows running But um so why while these guys are doing this the neighbors are aware of it, so they start Filming because they probably do. See everybody? So this car fucking started smoking.

The guy's engine started smoking and he pulled it into his driveway. But look at everybody standing out here with their fucking cameras. They all realize, oh my god, this guy is a piece of shit. One cop in sight. That's crazy to me. But it's so funny.

Everybody's like, world star! That car's going to blow up. Everybody's assuming that car's going to me. But it's so funny. Everybody's like, world star. That car's going to blow up. Everybody's assuming that car's going to explode. So they're filming it. Oh, shit, dude. So this guy was driving his car so fast and so hard that it caught on fire. That's why I'll never buy a fucking Ferrari, by the way.

My people should not be designing things. buy a fucking Ferrari, by the way. My people should not be designing things. I saw a 918 with the Dubai plates on it. Yes. And they had the nerve to put the silver metallic paint on it. So not only bought an expensive car, they put the real, like, made the car look chrome.

Oh, I've seen that. Justin Bieber had one of those. He had a chrome Fisker. How do I know that? Why? Because I'm friends with Jamie. Jamie tells me these things. The cops in... Shout out to the cops in Beverly Hills because they nice, you know.

I was coming through there. A part fell off my Porsche that holds the alternator and the and the serpentine belt together so the car would just lose power right so i'm riding through beverly hills i was going to the summit uh the it's a place on mahalan drive i was staying there and um i'm in beverly hill with no lights on just driving up the street and um cops pull us over and i turn off the car i can't turn off the car why not because it's not gonna come back on if i turn it off they was like what let me explain to you what's going on there's a piece of me i'll try to explain to them the mechanics they was like no i was like i get out the car and you can do whatever you need to do with me but if this car

cuts off here it's gonna be here and uh i had my had my African homeboy who I just went to DR with me, right? And he was like, hey, officer, what's going on? He's like, I'm going to show you how powerful this thing is that I do. And he's like, look, I work for the IRS. I work for the government. I'm visiting from Washington, D.C. I work for the national government, IRS. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, I got to— The IRS? Is that what he's saying? The IRS. They should have shot him on sight. So everybody's afraid, apparently. The IRS? Yeah, they're terrified.

So he pulled the badge out, yada, yada, yada. And then he was like, okay, you're free to go. And somebody shrugged. And, you know, there was a cop right there. He was like, sir, you don't have to be so close in the bushes. And I remember looking at him like, but sometimes it's fun having your face in the bush. And I smiled and he was just like, just step away. Just go.

They never get my jokes. You know what I mean? Well, there's tents. And so. They're pulling people over with no lights that say they can't shut their car off. They don't know what kind of crazy shit you're doing. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you pull up to a dude.

There's two dudes. One of them's from Africa who works for the IRS. The other one's a comedian with some weird jokes. Their car's running. They can't shut the car off. There's something to talk about in the office. Right, but a lot of shit could be going on here. Like, whenever you deal with someone who won't, they don't have their lights on, that's weird.

Like, okay, why does this guy not have his fucking lights on? And then you deal with another thing, he won't shut his car off. What? What's going on? Like, there's a bunch of shit that's supposed to happen. One, you're supposed to have your lights on, you get pulled over, you shut your car off, you shut your ID. Everything's supposed to go according to plan. So you're throwing in all these new loopholes.

It's an improv game we're doing. No lights, okay? Why don't you have lights? I can't. Doesn't work. Alternator. Got an issue. All right,

shut your car off. I can't. I can't. Shut a car off. It stays here. I'm going to tell you some true stuff. When I moved here,

I had a Honda Prelude. I put a timing belt in it. Fourth generation, drove it here. I used to get pulled over all the time, black on black. I lived in Englewood

and I realized, like, all the time, I'd get my car searched, put in the back of a couple of these cars. And I talked to a cop, and he told me about proximity and how criminals operate. And when they wake up, they get descriptions in the morning. And if you fit that description, they're going to profile you. And that's when I realized, like, oh, I'm living in the wrong neighborhood, driving the wrong vehicle. So when I got the 944, I get what I call corporate old white man colors that champagne or that boring gray and i just drive and now i have really no problems you know i mean that's what i that's the things like how my mind works sometimes to figure out that pattern and be like okay if this is what it's getting pulled over and stuff then i need to

you know i don't know if it's the survival in you or what but it's like pulled over and stuff, then I need to, you know, I don't know if it's the survival in you or what, but it's like, I have to shift. And some people really be like, I don't feel like I should shift like that. But I'm like, you know, the cops, the cops would be like, slow down. I've messed up in the, I was doing 60 on Franklin one time, just enjoying my life. There's white women jogging and everything on the street I'm like this ain't bad you know life is great I tell jokes and the cops were just like sir can you slow down and I'm gonna put my hand out the window like no problem officer and that was it and I was like this is amazing

right here but I also experienced another white privilege thing when I had an accident in the 944. And it was the Latino people. And a guy got out of the car. The cop showed up. And I was sitting on the car. The old white guy. He was like, sir, is this your car? I was like, yes, sir.

And he was like, okay, everything's going to be okay. And then he went and he lit into the Mexican people. To where I got uncomfortable. I almost said something to the Mexican people This ain't regulation and where's the paperwork for this and asking them all time? Let me see your ID. Where did you get this and and Me coming from Georgia not used to I'm used to saying black people treat like no other culture So I almost stepped in but something was like hold on

Don't and I swim sitting on the car like damn feeling guilty like this is what white guilt feels like but i'm still on the other side right right so i'm just letting it ride like you know that's funny but like i said before it's like when you in that place where you see different stuff, it shapes you somehow. It gets that understanding. I think with a lot of cops, something can happen too where they pull over so many people that are illegal immigrants. They start getting upset. They start getting upset at it and they treat it like disproportionately.

I've seen a lot of fucking people that are driving illegally in Los Angeles. That's true. I got rear-ended by a dude. That's right. I remember that. Yeah. This dude has no driver's license. But I know a lot of white people who are driving illegally, and they don't worry about it.

Sure. Yeah, nothing happens. Oh, you do if you get pulled over, though. If a cop finds out you're driving illegally, you're in trouble. Yeah. For sure. Everybody, no matter who you are. If they find out, they'll tell your car.

But the odds of you getting pulled over is kind of slim. Yes, the odds are greater if you are black or if you're Mexican and getting pulled over. I would say that's probably definitely true. Cut to me getting out the car like this, and they're like, no, not you. And you're like, oh, I was just just stretching you know yeah but you know it's that's what it is to me you know i mean but i wouldn't want to be a fucking cop oh no no i think me honestly i think that their job is too nerve too nerve-wracking for the regular person and i think so too and they don't make enough money to go through the mental part of it exactly it affect their relationships and their family life suicides

yeah a lot of cops commit suicide a lot of cops feel despair it's a crazy job it's a crazy job you know yeah like yeah they gotta go like i said i gotta go they got a reputation Like I said, they got a reputation. Cops have almost a reputation now of a black man. People look at them like... People are prejudiced against cops. And it's like, oh, to me it's like, oh, shit. It's true. This is ironic.

And they have to go in those situations. They have to go to the hood with that reputation. Yep. With that outfit on. And that's a scary thing. Go to the hood with that reputation. Yep. With that outfit on. And that's a scary thing. Yeah, I mean, if your outfit is being represented by people that are doing fucked up things like those videos that we were talking about earlier, that's your outfit. That's the team you're on.

So you have to go and you know that these people are going to see you and look at you and know that you represent that team that they've been watching on these videos. And I'm from a place where the cops look like you. So the cops that treated you fucked up look like you. That's even dirtier. Well, they were dirty, so it's a different ballgame. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that's what it is. There's so much that isn't understood

outside of the videos that are being... Do you think there's a way on stage that you can relay a lot of this stuff that you're talking about? Because I feel like if you think there's a way on stage that you can relay a lot of this stuff that you're talking about so i feel like um if you could figure out a way to make humor out of the difference between your background growing up and what you're experiencing now and just your own your own unique perspective yeah i'm talking i'm slowly talking about it yeah like you guys touch when i worked with tosh my opening joke i walk on stage and be like not all black lives matter

some niggas should die and that's a shot just in 30 seconds i'll get applause break in 30 seconds at the at the 10th time of that and by that i'm telling them i explain the story of the protest when traffic is being held up and i'm driving with my gas light on. Yeah. And I'm like, if my car dies, I'm a hostage in a situation I don't want to be in. And then feeling sorry for that black guy who's stuck in traffic and don't know why. And every white person looking at him. And he like, this ain't got nothing to do with me.

I'm just on my way to orange county so i can fuck this white girl that was the bit but all of us based on truth right you know i mean on truth i felt like when those black lives matter protesters were shutting down highways i'm like fucking white people it was white people that are trying too hard to be down with black lives matter so they took it to the highway and shut down the highway. So I knew this one dude who's like a super, super lefty guy. And he was a part of the Black Lives Matter shutting down highways. And I was like, what are you doing, man?

Out in Berkeley. Super, super liberal, crazy people. It is a hierarchy of black people, just like a hierarchy of white people. And me and Jamar Nabors, we say some shit like, you know, real niggas don't give a fuck of black people Just like a hierarchy of white people And me and Jamar Neighbors We say some shit like You know real niggas Don't give a fuck about Black issues

Which is true Cause they're in survival mode You know what I mean You know so Things like you know Education and shit like that Don't really matter Who

Even to me like I didn't talk about Politics growing up So I really don't care about Politics That's how I feel about it. Like, I still got to grind either way. Do you care at all?

Like, when you're looking at Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, like, what's your thought? You just don't think about it? I think, and I said this before, before everything got crazy, Trump got crazy, I understand sometimes where he's coming from through educational purposes. I understand Republican mindset, you know what I mean? Right. Because I was through educational purposes. I understand Republican mindset. You know what I mean? Right. Because I was taught to export businesses and stuff like that. You know, all that makes sense to me.

But I don't think, I think this part is for ratings. I see it as a show. And I think Trump is like a character. I definitely think they want everybody to vote for Hillary. I think they're going to lead people that way. Like you lead water to go down a certain ravine. And then Hillary is going to make, because her personality ain't the best.

It ain't like a Barack Obama. People be like, I like this lady. But I think once she get in, she's being too kind. Her personality is terrible. Well, you know,

I think she's going to make some adjustments on the low. That's going to really fuck up people. She does things that make me super nervous, too. There's a thing of, you ever see the video of her where she was talking about Gaddafi? She was laughing about how, I think she says, we came, we saw, he died. Yeah. And it was like off camera. I don't think she realized that she was being filmed or this is just not her behaving.

I'm going to play it for you. We came, we saw, he died. We came, we saw, he died. And she's also looking off at someone else like for their approval she's not even looking at the woman she's talking to necessarily it's just that's a weird thing to joke about the enormity the magnitude of assassinating a foreign leader whether he's a dictator dictator or not like there's a lot going on there. You are overthrowing the ruler of a government, even though he's a terrible ruler. And you are now opening up that

government and those people that were being suppressed by that government, you are opening them up to the turmoil of establishing a new leader. That's true. And that's where it is right now. So when you see someone who is running for president and they are joking around about a Scenario that has taken place that they were a part of she was a part of and that scenario is now directly connected to horrific tragedies and This chaos that that is an Isis stronghold now. Well Libya is an Isis stronghold Chaos. That is an ISIS stronghold now. Libya is an ISIS stronghold.

Yeah, that Libya situation is not... Yeah, I can't discuss that on... Libya? Yeah. Yeah. None of those things are good. You know, whenever you have a brutal dictator, like Iraq, Saddam Hussein, it's not good when the world is entertaining brutal dictators. There's a brutal dictator that's in charge of these people.

They're, you know, it's not fair. It's dangerous. Yeah. And we have to interact with this person in some way. I love a country where there's a curfew. And I think that's going to happen here. But I just love a country where there's a curfew and I think that's gonna happen here but I just love a country where it was a curfew Dominican Republic has a curfew?

for women at a certain time and they would if a chick was out by herself they just put her straight in the van what? yeah Dominican Republic has that?

and if a dude was out and his lights wasn't right and he's on a motorbike the cop got on the bike with him and rode him with him to jail he had to take the cop to jail whoa

so yeah there's certain things like you know that is like wow that i that i see like it happened here and as far as like that video to me that's how people of power act when i say like real like rich or successful powerful people like that and poor people i always tell people they don't give a fuck. The people in the middle are the ones that's timid and like, we should do this for animals and that. But those people and poor people, like, if you listen to their jokes, they don't give a fuck.

Just like guys I met who talked about, man, I shot that thing three times, man. I shot the first time, didn't go through, and he started hobbling. I was like, oh, shit. And the gun jammed. I got nervous. Like, these are the stories so i had the ability to sit with both and just hear the the the and it ain't it ain't you know my comedy is based off this too so i gotta be like one of these people too you know talking

to somebody's murdered someone with a gun and it's laughing and joking around about it's got to be fucked up but it's like this guy didn't die but he did get hit you know right but you hear is like somebody telling this story and they tell her how bad it was cuz you know they live they live it and it was over some simple like I told you next time I see you that this was gonna go down you know I mean right and they went down you know over some simple but I always say like the people like that at the top and people at the bottom don't give a fuck and that's and if you look at the politics now you got Trump and you got his supporters the rednecks and shit that people say they don't like those like top and bottom people yeah and

pattern wise but I think yeah if Hillary get in I think they trying to lure everybody her way and then she's going to, on the low, sign some document that's really going to fuck people up down the line. Those are my predictions. Why do you think she's going to do that? You know how you find out later on? Like, oh, man, that document that president signed three years ago fucked people up. Right. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

There's a lot of those. Yeah, so I think it's going to be something like that. Well, she's gotten away with so much already. That's be something like that well she's gotten away with so much already that's what i'm saying she's gotten away with so much already the idea that she's gonna stop once she gets an office is ridiculous because she broke so many fucking laws with her email server all the lies that she told about benghazi all throughout her career there's like there's many websites that document all the times they've caught her lying about like pretty important issues the idea that she's gonna stop doing that once she becomes president is crazy she's gotten away with it she lies when she talks about getting caught in lies yeah like

when she talked about the FBI having this long interview with her about her email server there's a direct video that shows like the direct comparison between what she said and what he said what she said and what he said it's horrible it's horrible to watch like how is this person even qualified to run for office forget about the fact that everybody wants a woman to be the the new president i get it yeah it'll be fun for everybody yeah let's let's do it this is not the one it's fun for six months after, let's do it. This is not the one, folks. It's fun for six months until that new car smell gone. Well, she's not the one.

This is not the one. You don't want this. The only thing good is that she's a long-term politician, so she understands the business. The only thing bad is that she's a long-term politician. She knows the business. So both things are bad. She knows the business. The business sucks. And people don't understand it

as a business. You know what I mean? They'll mostly get caught up in it. But I definitely think, I think people like we all should, we can find a better way to do things better. I'm hoping. And not put power in like church and government and these things. It's just hard.

It's got such a stranglehold. The idea that you have to register as either a Democrat or republican to vote in the primaries the primaries decide which candidate is going to represent these parties it's a charade it's never been more obvious that it's a charade and i fully never learned learned it because i look i look at the bigger picture in a pattern so you know um well by, we're going to come back in four years, and we'll see if you're right about Hillary Clinton, if she fucked up. Because you remember just a little while ago, everybody was saying that Hillary Clinton,

that the FBI was going to drop some bombshell, and that more information was going to come out about the horrible things that she's involved with and she's done, and then she's going to probably be indicted, and then she's going to wind up pulling out, and she's not going to be running for president that was like the big rumors just a few months ago now trump has gotten so fucked up he's done so much stupid shit and said so much stupid shit and now like the harvard republican club for the first time in over a hundred years

is coming out against the nominee the uh There's like a bunch of different prominent politicians that have come out against him. You don't remember that. Usually by the time someone gets to a point where they're running for president, they're the Republican nominee, whether it's Mitt Romney or anyone else, they're kind of embraced. Like, okay, we've got the nominee, everything's in order, let's move forward. That's not happening now. even with the election just a couple of months away people are freaking out and they gotta go we can't have this guy yeah this guy can't be our guy well what happened in DR they got a lady you know in charge and it was some sneaky stuff like that but when she got in she started doing the curfews and she took

the Haitians and kicked them out you know she gave them to be fair she's like you got this amount of money you can stay yeah so it got and guys were showing me scars that allowed them to stay into in the DR so yeah it got real for me over there because I finally talked to the these dudes that used to be kids asked for money and now they're adults asking for money. Like, what's going on? And they started breaking it down. Like, yeah, to see a group of people just, like, kicked out of a country like that.

And it's like, man, maybe we should be glad we're a lost tribe. That could easily be, you know. It can always be worse, for sure. Yeah, yeah. And they look up to us. It was like, you know, regardless of what's happening i know this guy i know black people getting killed by the cops but you still got a chance to be something and i couldn't even say nothing like and meanwhile north korea looks up to them north korea you know at least they don't

have to deal with dear leader they don't have to uh cry for hours and hours when his dad died if they don't cry correctly they get put in jail for six months and forced to work in labor camps they have labor camps in north korea where people are literally starving to death and they stick dogs on them and the dogs eat them yeah i mean this is game of thrones type shit and it's going on right now this guy who he grew up in a slave camp, he was a child of someone who was convicted of some sort of a crime and forced to work in these slave camps, grew up in this camp, did not know the rest of the world, did not know there was a whole world out there and somehow or another escaped. But he talked about turn his own family in like they had them. They have everybody knocking on everybody turned his whole family in it in his description of the different levels of torture and treatment like different levels of slavery yeah like what you're capable of doing when you're almost dead what you're

capable of doing like they have it like classified like what jobs you get depending upon how how close you are to death fucking terrible man it's crazy like you yeah you hear these stories you meet people that's like one six degrees away from that yeah you know that's it's crazy like yeah you hear these stories you meet people that's like one six degrees away from that yeah you know that's what's crazy is that it's 2016 and where we're living here in los angeles is super progressive at the front line of culture we feel like well hey everything's looking up everything's getting great not if you're in north korea you fucked the world fucked you and you got a, this is where you came out into the world? Yeah.

That's your spot? Or Namibia, what we were talking about before, an inch of rainfall in three years. You're like, fuck. Thirsty? Fuck. You got all that Kool-Aid and only an inch of water coming? If they even get Kool-Aid over there. I don't think they get Kool-Aid.

No. They're fine. It's not my mind processing. They're starving. There's not a lot of food there. All that peanut butter they're eating and they can there. I don't think they get Kool-Aid. No. They're fine. That's not my mind processing. They're starving. There's not a lot of food there. All that peanut butter they're eating and they can't. I don't think so. Okay.

They shoot animals and shit. That's all they can do. Byron Bowers, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, this has been amazing, man. I'm glad we did this. This was a good experience. It was cool. And check out Byron if you're ever in Los Angeles or if you're ever anywhere.

He's performing. He's fucking hilarious. What's your website? ByronBowersLive.com. Twitter, Facebook, at Byron Bowers. Snapchat, Byron Bowers Live. Instagram? Instagram, Byron Bowers.

Love Instagram, by the way. All right. Beautiful. Thank y'all. Thanks, brother. It's been fun. Yay! Have a good whatever we're doing.

Three hours.