The Joe Rogan Experience - #833 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: August 11, 2016

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network. Check out his newest podcast called "What Brian Redban Do" at http://deathsquad.tv & on Spotify under "Deathsquad"

We're at our screens. Let's fucking talk like people, man. Let's do this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Yeah, I don't like it anymore. Once you hit 30, it's not cool anymore. But when you hit 42, it's just like, I'm like looking at every time somebody dies. I'm like, how old are they? 48. Oh, my God. Well, he is fatter than me, so I'm good. Yeah, I was looking at this, someone's post on Instagram, like a friend of a friend. I went Instagram hopping.

You know how you go from one person's page, you see someone comment something funny. Oh, what's that guy got to say? And you go to his page and uh it was a guy talking about his uh wife's brother who died and he had been suffering with his battled his demons was the quote he was 46 i was like oh jesus christ 46 like people are just fucking dying yeah and it's the ones that get me the worst it's the ones i like he just died in his sleep oh yeah man pat noswald's wife yeah yeah did ever come out what happened to her i do not know i do not know so sad but you know we all uh we all will go allegedly burke kreischer doesn't believe it burke kreischer goes i don't think we die. I go, what do you mean? Prove it.

Prove we die. You want me to kill you? What do you want me to do? How do I prove you die? I know people. They're not around anymore. They died. So am I supposed to just pretend they're not, just not in this space, but they're in another space?

And in that space, I'm there too? And they went through a portal? We had him on Kill Tony a couple days ago and he was on this like weird pill he's like I took this weird pill and he says that he's like fucks with my blood pressure though like if I laugh too hard I'll just faint and pass out it's happened three times already so I might pass I'm like wait you're going you should not be fainting if you're laughing. Yeah, your brain is just shutting off. Your brain's like, too much, we're done.

Thunk. You know, they say that's what happened to Hillary Clinton, that she blacked out, she fainted and hit her head in 2012. There's all these concerns that people have. I don't know if they're founded in any fact. those concerns that people have i don't know if they're found they're founded in any fact but apparently the the real incident did happen that she fell down she she blacked out and fell down and hit her head and had a clot which can be pretty serious but there's you know of course because of that there's people that are making all these crazy videos speculating that she has brain damage and she's out of her mind that she's like super unhealthy yeah like there's people that are making all these crazy videos speculating that she has brain damage and she's out of her mind that she's like super unhealthy yeah like there's see they're taking

these compilations of her you know look she's doing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of fucking interviews like this where people are talking to her and you know it's it probably becomes mind-numbing after all it It looks like she's having fun to me. She's laughing. She's bobbing her head up and down. And they're saying that she's acting bizarre. I think she's a person who's dealing with massive, massive amounts of stress. I mean, I'm not necessarily a big fan of what she represents,

other than I think it's kind of cool that there's going to be a first chick that's a president. I think it was good to have a first black president. As much as people didn't think that that was uh you know like important it was important socially it's important it's important like having a chick president would be interesting it'd be interesting i'd like to see where it goes the problem with her is she represents like the oldest form of government she's, do you remember that movie? What was the fucking movie where there were the elder vampires? You know what I'm talking about?

Like there was the, oh, Blade. The movie Blade, right? Where there were the ones that were turned into vampires. And then there was the old ones who were born vampires. They were natural born vampires, right? And they didn't like Blade because he was like half human. And he was, you know, he was made. He was a day walker?

Well, he was a day walker because he was half human. He could hang around at daytime. I still maintain that first fucking movie, that first Blade movie. It's one of my all-time favorite comic book movies. Have you rewatched it lately? No, I'm not it either it breaks everything's breaking no i'm not going i'm not gonna watch this one of my all-time favorite comic book movies i fucking love that movie but that was the thing so hillary clinton's like she's one of those born vampires she murdered she murders a lot of people is what you're saying i don't i'm not saying she murders a lot of people i'm saying people that get I'm not saying she murders a lot of people.

I'm saying people that get in a conflict with her wind up dead as fuck. Right. Jamie, what number are we on now? It's 49, right? Yeah, I think up to somewhere. The internet says it's up to 49. Now, is this just a coincidence or is this evidence? Are we looking at evidence or is this this just well look at what what these

people are doing and the last guy seems to be like a robbery attempt or something like that because it was four o'clock in the morning he got shot walking down the street in washington like no washington's a notoriously dangerous place i mean marion bearer got elected after he got arrested went to jail for crack he Then he got elected. Again. Right? Isn't that true? That's true, right? And it's a beehive for crazy people, because anyone that likes government.

Look at the guy that climbed Trump Tower. He's a crazy person. If you saw his interview, he sounded like- What are you talking about? When was this? Yesterday. Oh, no. You didn't hear about this? No.

Oh, my God. This was the biggest thing for three hours. This guy with suction cups, climbing the Trump tower. Like police busting windows out of Trump's windows, like trying to grab him, couldn't get him. He kept on climbing. He released, the guy released a video like 12 hours before. And if you listen to the video, it sounds like a YouTube commenter.

Like it's just like, I want to give a message. Excuse my manner of appearance. I just don't know how many people will watch this. I'd rather not be recognizable. I am an independent researcher. Okay, we're good. I've had my fill. But it was pretty intense because he got up pretty high.

For a while, I didn't think the police were going to be able to do anything. But watching them work and their tactics to catch a guy that has suction cups, very interesting. This is when they pull him in and he, like memes start happening. Oh my God. Like right here, meme! But he's still connected to the rope.

Yeah, I know. So they're just probably beating the fuck out of him here. And his dick's getting chopped off. And now they're trying to undo him. They're just going to cut it. No, they ended up pulling it off somehow. But they destroyed that building. They broke a lot of windows, cut a lot of

crates or air conditioning things. Jesus Christ. What a crazy fucker. Yeah. Now, what happens to a guy like that? How long do they go to jail for? Wow. I don't know. I think that's a while. I think he just announced the charges today. I was gonna look at that. I think mental, he's gonna be in a mental hospital more so than a jail, it seems like.

But these kind of people are the people that hang out in Washington, D.C. and stuff. That's why D.C. or Washington is so dangerous. It's because they're attracted to this crazy thing that's already happening. Well, if you have a hive of government and everybody knows it's got a centralized location, that's already happening. Well, if you have a hive of government, and everybody knows it's got a centralized location, that's the hive. Washington, D.C. is the hive of our government. And the penthouse is, or the Pentagon penthouse. The Pentagon is not that far from there, right?

How far is that? It's in Virginia, right? How far by air is the Pentagon from the White House? They're fairly close to each Virginia, right? How far by air is the Pentagon from the White House? They're fairly close to each other, right? Probably like a 12-hour drive, something like that, I guess. Is it? I don't know. That whole area, though, I would imagine and there's also that giant community

of lobbyists that lives in Virginia, just outside of Washington, D.C., that Brian Callen was telling me is some of the richest people per capita in the country. Pentagon's here. Right. And where's D.C.?

It's right next to Arlington Cemetery. It's just across the river from it, I'm pretty sure. Oh, it's pretty close. This is D.C. already. Wow, I was way off. I had no idea it was that close. It's a 12-minute walk, not 12-hour drive. It's a 12-minute walk from the Pentagon?

I mean, it's just literally really across the river. Holy shit. I thought it was more like a half hour away. Maybe in bad traffic. Maybe that's what it is. I thought it was like over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go.

It's close as fuck. The point being that that's a hub. So that one last guy that got shot, man, anybody could get shot in Washington, D.C. walking around the street at 4 o'clock in the morning. anybody could get shot in Washington DC walking around the street at four o'clock in the morning you can get shot it can happen you can zig when you could have zagged you could rock it to the wrong dude at the wrong time and it can happen that's just part of living in a high crime area so who knows if that one was but there's a gang of them that are

connected to the Clintons that just wound up getting whacked. Did you see all the crime that's been going on in the Olympics? Like, I sent Jamie this video in Brazil, and it's just a collection of, like, the first or second day of, they have, like, these people just watching the streets for crime, and it's just tons of these petty theft, like, people getting, trying to just steal people's stuff. Oh, my God. And this video, I mean, this came out, I think, the the first or second day but this video is non-stop it's just

happening like people just coming up and trying to steal people's like cell phones and and some guys are really smart with it they get on these bikes and you know when you're looking at your cell phone you're just kind of holding it barely and people are just coming up and taking their phones on bikes and then taking off and it's it's crazy this guy's the biggest pussy in the road by the way right here look how small that little kid is and he knows that guy's following him he's getting close to his girl and he's just not doing anything and then this kid ends up stealing something from the guy in front of him Wow right here here boink hey man that's just taking part of the the process yeah some people are super

disenfranchised and poor that was something that byron bowers had talked about in the podcast the difference between people that are just trying to survive they're just trying to survive man that girl's a totally different world that girl didn't't fight it at all. She's just like, just take it. She just gave it up. Okay. So how many people have supposedly been whacked? What does the internet believe? I think it was 49. I got to find that. But is there anybody that makes a compelling case? This says 90.

Jesus Christ. But I don't know if that's like, I mean, it depends on which website you want to look up and find which conspiracy you want to dig down. Is this on Snoopies or Snopes? You know, here's what's one of the weirdest things about government is that it affects all of us right in this room, but we couldn't be further away from the type of person that would want to run the government. Like, I don't want to run shit.

You don't want to run shit. You don't want to run shit. You know, like the type of people that do want to do that, they are so not like most people. Most people do not want to run everybody. When you get people that are in that like higher echelon of government and they have the ability literally to manipulate which way the country thinks. With a really persuasive, articulate speech, they really have the opportunity to change the way the country feels about itself.

You know, like Kennedy. Some of Kennedy's speeches, you would listen to them and you would want to be a better person. You'd hear that guy talk and he said such poetic shit he was so brilliant in the way he was able to communicate and a lot of ways like a lot of people thought obama was going to be like that too because it seemed like he kind of was when he was running for office and we seemed like when this guy gets in man he's going to make some of those Kennedy-type speeches. And he made some really good speeches, for sure, but it always felt like everything was down the middle.

Like everything was like a 90s sitcom. It's like there was not much chances being taken. It was like you wanted Seinfeld and you got mad about you. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Not that there's anything wrong with mad about you. It's a fine program. Went on a long time.

A lot of people enjoyed it. You know, but it wasn't curb your enthusiasm. You know, there's, when a guy comes out like Obama in his speeches at the Democratic Convention before he was elected, he was like, holy shit. This is going to be the guy. This is going to be this super articulate, powerful guy who rights all the wrongs. So one of two options. Either one, he was never really like that.

And he was just tricking us. And this brilliant portrayal of this rebel of this person who's gonna come in and give you hope and change or two you get in there and the sobering effect of what you're presented with every day makes you realize like oh my god they're just running around putting out fires all the time there's a fucking like what you're seeing from those kids in these that video in in the olympics where these uh people are getting purse snatched and shit tourists are getting purse snatched and pickpocketed that is just what happens when things are all fucked up and unbalanced that's what happens it's just what happens that's just a whole mess like do you think this is the end of the Olympics just based on how much trouble this Olympics has been?

Looking at all the hotel rooms where the sinks are falling through the counters and how the water, I don't know if you saw the water today, is green because they have an algae problem or something like that. or something like that. And if you look at all the past Olympics and how all the structures, there's a website where it shows like all the old Olympics and how it just, they have all these concrete things that are just now overrun by trees

and like weeds and stuff and how much it costs to make all this. And now it's just ruined land. You know, you can't, once you put concrete on land, it's pretty much ruined. It's really hard for it to ever be farmed on again or things to grow when there's concrete on there yeah i guess it makes sense you'd have to look at this

i mean this is these things apart this is old that's 1984 olympics just it looks trash there's oh they use it for a bike course that's kind of dope that looks fun where is that where is that that's sarajevo bosnia herza herza vagovnia how do you say Sarajevo, Bosnia, Herzegovina. How do you say that? Herzegovina. Herzegovina. Herzegovina. Scrolled up so we could see that? So look at that, man.

That looks fun as fuck. These dudes are on the bobsled run, but it's all graffitied up, and they're riding bikes on it. That looks fucking badass, man. If you lived there, dude, That would be the coolest shit ever. If you were a kid and you were growing up in that neighborhood, but that's probably like a, that's probably got a lot of bullets in that neighborhood, too. Yeah, it looks like Rape Alley.

Yeah. That's what they're riding away from rape. Yeah, get us away. But look at this. It's beautiful. And this land is just ruined, you know. It's kind of dope, though. It is kind of dope right now, but in 20 years, it's going to look even shittier. Look at all the mosquitoes. That's where Zika was born.

Probably, right? We're looking at it right now, and as we're scrolling through these pictures for people who are just listening to the audio, these things are available where, Jamie? Daily May. This is just Daily May. I just typed in the old Olympic venues. This story will pop up if you Google it. Old Olympic venues. This one right here up if you Google it. Old Olympic venue.

This one right here is not even eight years old from China. God damn, this is crazy looking, man. Like, look at these buildings. They're just completely deteriorating and falling apart. Yeah. What is this? There's a graveyard? There's a graveyard on the site of the 1984 Olympics.

So they had the site of the Olympics in Sarajevo, and then it turned into a graveyard. Okay. Oh, that looks fun to skateboard. Yeah, they have these crazy ski ramps, ski jumps from 84 Olympics. Wow, this is really fascinating, man, that we do this. You know, but I'll tell you, man, they got me. I was watching it the other day.

Were you? Yep, they got me, those fuckers. Now, I heard a lot of criticism of it being a fluff piece this year a lot of people saying that like hey i don't want to look at all these stories that we're watching america's got talent i want us just to see sports and olympics yeah there's something to that for sure you know they're trying to create stars and make a lot of money and make a lot of michael phelps type people out of it the more it's like a reality show yeah yeah the whole thing a lot of Michael Phelps-type people out of it. It's like a reality show. Yeah. The whole thing. The more Michael Phelps people come along, too, the more that's going to happen.

The more you get these super successful guys that can, you know. How many Olympic gold medals has that guy won? Like 28 or something crazy? 22, I think he's up to now. Dude, insane. There's a crazy picture of him in the pool from this past Olympics, and he's swimming, and the guy he's beating is looking at him, and there was a meme that said, this is the perfect example of losers focus on winners, winners focus on winning.

Yeah. Because he's like just fucking laser beam straight on the target. Yeah, the guy's looking at him like, fuck. Yeah, I remember when it- That picture is so classic. like just fucking laser beam straight on the target. And yeah, the guy's looking at him like, fuck. Yeah. I remember when that picture is so classic, that is a man saying, fuck. I mean,

when I was back in the day, believe it or not, I was in track. I remember one of the best tips was never look back. Cause every time you look back, that takes like a second off your time. And, and that's the same thing.

If that's what he's doing with it, you know, he might not, he might just be breathing. He might be breathing, but it certainly looks like he's looking right at michael phelps so that it's good for the narrative it's uh it's interesting that michael phelps uh won all those gold medals in swimming and then

he became this huge swimming star because think about how many swimming stars i've been how many are there there's greg luganus who is more of a diving star than a swimming star because think about how many swimming stars there have been how many are there there's greg luganus who is more of a diving star than a swimming star name me another famous swimmer i got one summer sanders i don't know who the fuck that is she's not famous like michael phelps not even in the neighborhood i've never even heard of her no no offense ma'am. She's done those Nickelodeon shows after she's on Olympics. Oh, she did? Okay, that's kind of cool. But Michael Phelps is like,

here's how I feel about sports. If I know your name, god damn, you must be famous. Because I barely pay attention. I knew about Michael Phelps years and years and years and years ago. So if I know about him, he's got to be famous as fuck. It's crazy that every now and then a sport will give you one super famous person. Like one Lance Armstrong, Tony Hawk.

And then once we got one of those, that's it. Yeah. You got Michael Phelps. There was all these other guys that were on a relay with him. They didn't even mention their fucking name. The other guy over here, nobody cares about that guy. They barely paid attention. They just focused all on phelps golf name three names and golf oh this guy that's right mark spitz that's right i don't remember that guy he was uh 76 olympics i think is that right it has to be he looks like burt reynolds from deliverance 72 72

yeah man that's right i forgot about that guy, so he was the first of the superstar Michael Phelps type swimmer dudes. I think before, I want to say before Phelps came along, I really don't know. But I think that Spitz was the guy who won the most gold medals up until that moment. And then Phelps just fucking blew him out of the water. Where is he now? If I had to guess by the way he looks, in a Burt Reynolds movie from the 1970s. Yeah. I hope that guy still rocks that look.

I wonder if being in water more than the average person is better or worse for your skin, for everything. Probably worse because it probably tries you out. Chlorine is not good for you. True. It's not good for you. Chlorine kills everything that's in the water. But it also fucks with the flora of your own skin.

Like it's not the best stuff in the world for your skin. I mean it's sterile water. What about salt water? That's probably better for you. Yeah I would say salt water is better for you. Yeah. Salt water is interesting man because i can't get it in my eyes i know some people can get it in their eyes they don't have a problem

with it i get in my eyes it fucking stings i don't know why like when i go to uh the uh the beach if i get water in my eyes it fucking stings does that add to your sodium levels he's not mark spitz wasn't even using a swim cap when you're saying your eyes were stinging. He doesn't have goggles on either. Yeah, but I'm talking about a pool. He swam in a pool. In the ocean is when my eyes sting. But yeah, Mark Spitz was old school as fuck. He probably swam in a flannel shirt.

Look at his body. Look at his shorts. His shorts are probably made From like red dye number nine They didn't do any Strength and conditioning Back there Stop throwing me Just men in their underwear

Jamie Stop it The iconic Speedo endures So this Go to full body On this gentleman Look at his fucking body man It's like

I mean I guess he kind of Looks like an athlete Or he looks like Your girlfriend's brother That's staying with her. You know, you get up in the morning, you meet him for the first time. Well, how you doing, man? Nice to meet you.

Oh, hey, man. Hey, y'all got soap? Like, that's what he looks like. He looks like some weird fucking dude who might have worked out a couple of times in his underwear. Like, why are you just standing in your underwear like that, dude? With gold chains around your neck neck this is a fucking strange picture it doesn't really look to swimmer body either like the difference between that body and michael phelps body or any swimmer nowadays is like pretty different like his legs actually seem kind of

chubby they're like a i don't know they don't really seem muscular they kind of seem sexy well um what um does strength does michael phelps do strength and conditioning workouts yeah i know he does that crazy cupping shit you've been paying attention to that yeah everybody's cupping these days he's wacky that's all that that falls into the chiropractor bullshit stuff right like the like there's real no science behind it at all, I believe. There's anecdotal evidence. I don't think there's been scientific studies done on it, unfortunately. Here's a breakdown of his training routine. Warm up with jackknife crunches, three sets of 20, pushups, three sets of 25 to 35, and

bodyweight squats, three sets of 25. Begin in the pool with 50-meter drills. So it's mostly swimming stuff, it seems like, and some bodyweight exercises, crunches and squats. But the majority of his stuff is about laps. High-intensity swim distances of 200 meters, 150 meters, 100 meters, and 50 meters, with 30 seconds of rest in between each interval. He's a fucking animal. Just think about doing that.

Sprints with high intensity. What is a high intensity to the greatest swimmer the world's ever known can you even imagine operating those rpms that he considers high intensity when that fucking guy gets going in a pool dude did you have a video of him getting super intense getting warmed up for his race the other day no i didn't see it it's kind of funny the dude's dancing around in front of him. It's funny. I'll look it up. He's a beast.

You got to be, you have to have like an insanely powerful mind to be able to do something that everybody can do, like swim, and do it faster than anybody ever. You got to be a fucking real, just super focused psycho. I don't mean psycho in a bad way. Well, he looks like a psycho. I mean, that death stare he did was pretty fucking crazy. So this is him. Michael Phelps, what does it say? Stares, death stare of intimidation is going viral.

Oh, this is like some compilation with a talking head person. What is that YouTube thing where they edit every five seconds? You say something, edit. Say something, edit. And it's like constant. There's no ums. There's no normal talking. It's like you're on speed.

ADHD for today's millennials started with natural born killers. So one guy is like dancing. He's not even dancing. He's like shadow boxing. Is that guy a fighter? Team South America? Why is he staring at Michael Phelps? He's just showing off for him He's like shaking in front of him and laughing

Michael Phelps does not give a fuck He's probably happy that guy's doing that You know, it's a little test A little test for him to just continue his stare of death. Whoa, that is pretty funny, man. He's probably listening to some killer Creed music or something in his earphones. What does Michael Phelps listen to? He might be.

Downtown. He doesn't give a fuck. That is weird. But I think you just got to be that guy if you want to be that good. Who else is as good as him? Nobody. Ever. Right?

Who else is that intense? Nobody. Nobody. He takes it all to the next level. Goddamn crazy people out there winning gold medals. Pretty fucking impressive. Smokes a lot of weed, I hear. Yeah.

Speaking of weed, did you hear about the DEA this morning? That really pissed me off. They decided not to reclassify marijuana, so they're keeping it in the same category as heroin and stuff. They decided that it has no medical benefits. Now, why can't we just take him to one of these kids that have seizures and just go, here, watch. See, seizure. Now see, no seizure. Okay, shut the fuck up.

Common sense. No common sense here, right? Yeah, I mean, that's that's definitely evidence. But I mean, there's many, many cases of that. That is evidence that there's there's tests being done on these children in the real world. And it's working. I mean, whether or not it's scientific, you know, double blind placebo controlled evidence. No, but there's plenty of evidence about the medicinal benefits of cannabis. There's plenty of it. There's plenty, there's, there's all sorts of data that seems to indicate that it has some sort of a role

in reducing tumors. It can, it definitely helps people with anxiety. There's a, there's a lot of factors that it does that like, you know, when Neil Brennan was on, he was talking about antidepressants and he was like, they don't exactly know how they work and that's a really good point but they sell a fucking ton of different kinds of antidepressants they know how cannabis works they know that there's cannabinoid receptors in the human mind meaning the human brain is designed or grew up or developed alongside cannabis. It knows what to do with it. So when you take marijuana, your body knows what it is. Your body even produces some sort of cannabinoid response when you run. That's part of what you're getting in the runner's high. They say it's similar. Is that correct? I think that's correct. How is this a true statement that they add in

there that they don't know the drug's chemistry is not known or reproducible? That's ridiculous. It says no current accepted medical use because the drug's chemistry is not reproducible. Not known and reproducible means what? What does that mean? The drug's chemistry is not known and reproducible. Meaning they can't create it in a lab. Yeah.

Or they can't make two of the same, maybe. Like, you can't keep the same, you can't clone the same person over and over again. Every time, it's a different person. Maybe because when you get it as marijuana, there's hundreds of different types of cannabinoids, apparently. And you're not just getting THC. You're getting all kinds of other groovy shit in there too groovy yeah i think there's a ton of different types of cannabinoids let's go down a little fucking information hole young jamie how many things i'm gonna guess there's a hundred different types of cannabinoids what do you think i I would guess over 1,000. Ooh, Jesus Christ.

I also think it's 12 hours to the Pentagon. 85. Cannabis contains at least 85 types of cannabinoids, many of which have documented medical value. That was 2014. They probably found new ones, bitch. Okay, now there's only over 480 natural components found in the cannabis sativa plant. Okay, there you go. So that's different. So it's 480 natural components found in the cannabis sativa plant okay there you go well so that's different so it's 480 natural components so 113 different cannabinoids says one in wiccan in wikipedia

so you know it's real um we'll scroll down one more the one that says how many different cannabinoids that's right 64 yeah see so it so it very the answers vary depending on study and year this is the most recent one right this is 2015 oh no 111 i think that says 1964 but if you scroll up it's the post is uh from 2015 yeah so i don't think this is old information right they wouldn't be using 2011's data would No, it says that the THC was first discovered in 1964. You know that's really crazy that you know when they're talking about like data That we're talking about like oh, they wouldn't be using data from like 20 years ago like this fucking idiots. They didn't know shit back then When we really do kind of think about it that way sometimes Like somebody send me something the other day that was from three years ago and i immediately was like this is fucking three years

old but it was a fucking really interesting story but unless it was happening that week you know so what what is that that's weird it's just like an assumption that everyone other people have done more research up until now and have looked at that maybe. I would assume that a lot of times, I think. If I saw something that said it was last month, I would think at least five people have seen it since then and snoped it out and wrote another article. Yeah, but it's not even that. It's an actual news event.

It's not debatable. Just an actual news event from two years ago is bullshit. I don't give a fuck about it. It's not debatable. Just an actual news event from two years ago is bullshit. I don't give a fuck about it. It's weird. You look down. Whenever there's an article that someone will tweet or I find online or I'm reading it on Digg or something like that, if I find an old article, if I'm researching the subject, if I just start Googling it, I find something from 2013, 2013 i almost instantly go it's like three years

old man so so old back then they didn't know anything back then right it's also like two three phone generations old too yeah that's what you think yeah yeah i know you see someone like from 2003 with a flip phone you want to go you fucking moron look at you i was watching the Matrix the other day. They just had those little slide-out phones. They had no concept of what an iPhone was even going to be then, I don't think. And they weren't even discussing what that would have been like to have social media or anything. They were just texting each other, I think, and making phone calls.

Yeah, no. That's one of the interesting things about science fiction is that science fiction is a really poor indicator of what the future holds in most situations you know like no one who did star wars or star trek they didn't think they would be able to communicate with each other in real time all around the world through video and send emails and get all the information about anything you wanted to get at any given time wirelessly through the air and a little thing that's so small it slides in your front pocket nobody ever thought that was coming no d they just they just said how they're doing like the 5g right now and how back in the day

you know we started off with 3g or whatever like 2g and stuff like that and now i think there's only like there's a few countries where 75 of the country is still using 2G or 3G and how they've run out of frequencies to build the 5G. But or so now they're going to have to start just kicking people off the 2G and 3G and stuff like that. But back then we had 3G and we were like, oh, this is great. We can send text messages and we could send pictures now. They weren't even thinking about Netflix HD streaming, you know? I was just thinking, what if Ari gets kicked off because his phone can't keep up with the new shit? Well, that's definitely happening.

I was thinking maybe they should make a new phone called the Throwback for people like Ari. This phone just only has numbers on it. It can't even text. Call me, bitch. It's a Windows phone. It doesn't even get a text message. It just gets calls like an old Motorola Tri tri-star i was not tri-star star i was trying to talk to my dad about this the other day how important is that phone number still to like a person is it's like

because there's so many different ways to communicate and you can communicate through voice and video that through facebook through facetime audio and wi-fi yeah do you really still need that 10 digitdigit phone number? I change my phone number almost every year now. And nowadays it doesn't matter. It's a better way to weed out people that shouldn't have your phone number. Like I used to think that, oh, I've had this number since I was 14, you know, and now I don't give a fuck anymore.

That's what I'm thinking. I keep my phone on the sleep mode or whatever, the moon that doesn't let any phone calls go through and it doesn't interrupt you with like alerts or anything. But if somebody calls you like two times in a row or three times in a row, it goes through. But like I accidentally leave it on all the time. And I'm like, you know, this is so peaceful not hearing my fucking phone beeping and ringing. And so I think that's important because I think we forget that we didn't have that, you know, growing up most of our lives. And now it's almost like an

alarm clock going off every two minutes, you know? Yeah. And it's not, it doesn't give you a chance to live like a normal life. If you're constantly updating yourself with Twitter or with text messages and you're constantly looking at it, that's what your focus is on. And it's almost like you're not even living your life. You're living your life through this screen. Like you're going into another world, like this artificially created world. And that's how you're existing in a world where no one's talking. Uh, if they are talking, they're talking to you. Like you click on a video, you, you, most of the time what's going on is you're reading stuff. You're reading stuff or someone sending something, LOL, they're sending you a funny meme.

You're like, ah! You know, there's those things. And that's like how people are living. Like people are like seeking out funny Instagram posts, you know, and like I have friends that have, they subscribe to like 10 different funny Instagram meme posts and just every 15 seconds they look at their phone going, ah!

Look at that! Ah! You going, ah, look at that, ah. You know, and you can do that. Like, you can be fucking perpetually entertained all day if you choose to do that. If you follow the right Instagram memes and you have the right people on Twitter that send you the interesting shit, because there's always something new. There's always some new fucking crazy thing.

You're gonna be constantly entertained. Going back to the marijuana thing with the DEA, they had that happen. They had to read or do that because the governor got so many signed petitions or signed names that it forced them to have to reclassify the marijuana. I don't know what governor, but whoever it was, if they acquiesced to the demands of the internet, we definitely didn't do enough then. Should be more ramped up than that. And they say that they couldn't reclassify it.

They had to keep it the same because they couldn't find any health benefits from it, right? So what happens if the same governor gets all the signatures to reclassify cigarettes or alcohol? What would the DEA have to say then for the health benefits of those two? Would they have to reclassify it as illegal? It's a very good point. Let's try it. See what happens. I'd love to see what happens.

It's a very good point. It's a very good point. And here's another really good point. They're classifying it in Schedule 1 because that's where it's been. And because they claim there's no known medical use or it can't be reproducible, whatever the fuck that means. You can grow it, dummy. You can get clones and grow it. Of course it's reproducible. It's just reproducible as a plant.

So what they're saying is they're trying to classify it as a drug. is they're trying to classify it as a drug. What they're almost admitting themselves, if what we're thinking is true, if what they're saying is that you can't, it's not reproducible because it's not a chemical that you can break down into a pill, if that's what they're saying, like you can't standardize it because it's too wild

and it's free and it's growing, that's almost a perfect example of the fact that you're not, you shouldn't be in a position where you're controlling a're not you shouldn't be in a position where you're controlling a plant you shouldn't be in a position where you're regulating nature like that's so you're almost admitting it yourself it's reprodu it's not reproducible okay if that's what you're saying then you're saying it's not a drug okay so but it has a psychoactive effect okay now you have to prove that psychoactive effect is dangerous go Go ahead. There's nothing. That's the real problem. The real problem is classified in the category of the most dangerous, harmful drugs. There's no evidence that that should be correct. There's no evidence. So that's where the DEA is failing. They're failing way more in that than they are in even not admitting that there's medical evidence. Because if you wanted to follow it to the strictest sense of the word,

what studies have been done that have absolutely been proven in a new modern form of the most current science, what studies have been done that show the medical benefits of cannabis? Not that many studies are being done, but it's because it's classified as Schedule 1. It's a total catch-22. It's hard to get studies done because it's a Schedule 1, and so you can't prove it shouldn't be a Schedule 1 because there's not very many studies. But there's a ton of studies that have been done by universities.

There's a ton of studies that have shown positive benefits. If you want to go back into history, even back into the Nixon administration, they were running studies that they buried the results because the results showed no harm. They showed nothing. They can't. So when you follow just straight science, there's no evidence whatsoever it should be illegal. That's the most important thing.

It's not evidence of whether it should be legal. That's like, you know, the whole thing about you're innocent until proven guilty. It should be the same way about marijuana. It should be that you can't just make it illegal and say it has to remain illegal because we don't know what it can do. Because you do know what it can do. You do. You definitely know. Why do you think millions of people like it?

Are they all crazy? What's going on? All these millions and millions of adults that live in America, are they fucking crazy? So what are you saying? You're saying you're smarter than them? Why don't you talk about it with somebody that knows what the fuck they're talking about? You'll get buried. Talk about it with a person who's like, talk about it with like Todd McCormick. You remember Todd McCormick having a debate with one of these DEA guys about whether or not marijuana is beneficial. He survived cancer because of it. A lot of people have.

We have friends that have kids that have autism. They give their fucking kids this medical cannabis, and all of a sudden they can talk, they relax, they stop having seizures. It's a massive benefit to a lot of people. It relaxes people, makes people feel good. And we have a government agency in 2016 that ignores all of that and wants to keep it in the category of some of the most harmful and dangerous drugs.

These people are like living in an episode of Hawaii Five-0. They're living in the past. They're like 1950s people. And what they think they can do is keep this bureaucracy and this paperwork and these classifications in movement. And they can head off freedom. Because what they're trying to do is they're trying to stop freedom. And one of the reasons why they're trying to stop freedom is because they benefit from it.

They benefit from stopping it. They have more agents if those if all of a sudden most drugs are legal what are those fucking thousands of dea agents going to do they have they're protecting their own industry this is a natural thing that any organism does when it's threatened and if you start making drugs legal and you start opening up that that conversation like who the fuck is any one adult to tell any other adult what's good or bad for you when a lot of shit we do whether it's the food we eat the alcohol we drink the cigarettes we smoke the fucking sugar in our diet all these things are bad for us we all know that but we we're free who's the government gonna come in

with fucking machine guns stop you from eating a chocolate cake and smoking a cigarette? Fuck that, right? I think we all agree on that. If they can't do that, they shouldn't be able to stop you from smoking weed. This is archaic. This is some ancient fucking vampire shit. And they're clinging to civilization. They are totally irrelevant.

Totally irrelevant. Your decision should be made 100% on the facts that are available today. You can go. You could research all the facts about marijuana. You find a few that make correlations between some sort of mental illnesses, but most of the time, at least according to experts that I've listened to talk about it, the correlations of schizophrenia to marijuana use are directly in proportion with the numbers of schizophrenia for any given population. That there's always going to be around 1% of the population that suffers from some type of schizophrenia or severe mental distraction, illness, you know, a bunch of different categories,

these little various mental diseases, but it's always that number. you know, a bunch of different categories, these little various mental diseases, but it's always that number. So if they smoked pot, it's just a thousand people, you know, that smoked pot have schizophrenia. Okay. If there was the same amount of people and they didn't smoke pot, it might be the same amount of schizophrenics. They might not even be connected. But when you're talking about 300 million people and you say 30,000 people got schizophrenia from marijuana, are you fucking sure? Are you really fucking sure? Or is it just 30,000 people have schizophrenia and they also smoke marijuana?

This is a real problem with the way they present the data because it's just like you coming up to me or to Jamie and you saying that you've got new rules. You as a 42-year-old grown-ass man, you have new rules and you don't you've got new rules, you as a 42 year old grown ass man, you have new rules and you don't want us drinking alcohol anymore. You're going to come in and you've hired guards to keep us from smoking alcohol or drinking alcohol. It's the same thing. If it's 50,000 people with some big building with three letters in the front of it, or whether it's one crazy fuck who wants to stop his neighbor from smoking pot it's the same thing you're trying to stop someone from doing something

that's not bad like you can't do that you don't have any evidence that it's bad there should be a fuckload of evidence that it's bad and it should be as much or worse than all the shit that you know is bad that you sell open and make money from taxes alcohol alcohol which we both love i love but here's a great example god damn i talk a lot they just research released a study that i think this week showing the like they proved scientifically that uh weed is better for sex and they not only did it for pleasures, but they also explained how when you have alcohol, you cheat more, you do bad things, you hook up with people you shouldn't do,

you don't use condoms, you do a lot of shit. A lot of people listening are like, I'm on team booze. Let's do this. Danger style. But it's shit that is life changing. Getting a girl pregnant that you met at a bar that looked hot last night, you wake up and it's a dog

a dog? you talking about a woman? a woman human? how dare you is that slut shaming? I'm talking about a shit set there was an article on a website that I go to all the time and I don't want to make fun of the man who wrote it because I love him

but it was about fat shaming in martial arts it was Juliana P pena fat shames ronda rousey and juliana pena who's uh one of the toughest 135 pound fighters uh in the women's band and weight division the ufc she's badass um she's talking some shit she's trying to get people to pay attention to her i mean this is what conor mcgregor did so a lot of these fucking people do it's, it's a smart business move. Okay. So that we all should be aware of, right? I mean, it's not just a person saying this, it's someone, it's a smart business move. So she says this quote about Ronda Rousey and she says something about Ronda Rousey having fat arms. And so the title of this whole piece, she wants to beat her ass. Okay. This is what she wants to do to Ronda Rousey.

She wants to hold her down. She wants a mounter. She wants to Elber her whole piece, she wants to beat her ass. Okay, this is what she wants to do to Ronda Rousey. She wants to hold her down. She wants to mount her. She wants to elbow her face bloody. She wants to punch her eyes so that they're swollen and shut. Then she wants to get behind her and choke her and say nasty shit to her if she puts her unconscious. That's what she wants to do. That's what she would like to do, right? That's what almost all these fighters would like to do when they're locked in mortal combat.

They want to beat the other person's ass and they want to choke him out. Right? The nasty stuff. I put that in myself. I mean, you know, point being, I've seen people say some nasty shit to people while they're choking them out, by the way. But point being, that seems to be way worse than saying she has fat arms. Right? What's this girl look like?

What's her face look like? She's beautiful. Julianna Pena is beautiful. Is she? Yes, she's beautiful. She's beautiful. But so is Ronda Rousey. But she said, you know,

she said something about Ronda Rousey having fat arms. I forget what the quote was about something about she's over her. And, you know, the fucking, one of the things that it said, yeah, it's no one cares about Ronda Rousey and her fat arms anymore. Listen, that's a funny thing to say. And you see Juliana Pena, you see how pretty she is? Yeah, except one cares about Ronda Rousey and her fat arms anymore. Listen, that's a funny thing to say.

And you see Juliana Payne, you see how pretty she is? Yeah, except for that nose. She just got beat up. That was a fight. It's all swollen up right there. Not even beat up. She's never been beat up. She's badass.

She's tough. And she's trying to make some waves. But the article that I read was talking about the fat shaming, that women should never fat shame each other. Women fighters shouldn't fetching like listen It's called talking shit. It's called talking shit You can't stop them from talking shit by putting it to this new category fat shaming what that is the most mild form of mockery ever a

Beautiful woman who has big arms she'll fucking throw you on your head with those big arms There's a reason for those fucking things man. They work. I did date a girl with big arms she'll fucking throw you on your head with those big arms there's a reason for those fucking things man they work i did date a girl with big arms it was weird because like she was so beautiful had a nice body but for some reason her arms are about double time and if she wore the wrong shirts it was very uncomfortable to continue to look at you know how you have those like uh sexual excopades when you're like in your early 19, 20 years, you know, like 2021. You're like, sometimes you'll like meet someone, you never see him again.

And this is, this is even more interesting because it's, you know, there was no cell phones back then. So you couldn't really get in touch with people that well. You got to call them at home. If the phone didn't pick up, they didn't have an answer machine. Couldn't even leave a message. It was weird back then. Right. But I hooked up with this chick that I always thought, they didn't have an answer machine, couldn't even leave a message. It was weird back then, right? But I hooked up with this chick that I always thought about for years after.

Like, whatever happened to that girl? She was a tank, a fucking tank. She was into weightlifting, like seriously into weightlifting, and she had a full-on six-pack. Wow. Like a full six-pack. She was like, rank, rank, rank. And she had these big-ass fucking squatter legs. And she full six pack. She was like, and she had these big ass fucking squatter legs.

And she was a freak. And I always remember like, God damn, like whatever happened to that crazy girl? She was fun. You didn't look her up? You didn't find her? You didn't Facebook her?

She was too big for me, man. It made me nervous. She made me nervous. I'm not kidding. I mean, she was real nice. She lived like really far away too. I think she was like an hour and a half away from me

an hour and a half drive just you know those don't work out when you're 20 it's like and you're busy with a million other things but she was a tank

yeah I've been with a couple girls that were like an MMA two MMA girls type girls bodies and it's not comfortable

thinking like oh this girl can kill me if I do you know like having sex with him was weird. It was just like, I feel like I'm fucking a guy. We did a fight companion the other day and Eddie Bravo was drunk off his rocker. And we were all having fun and talking about whether or not female UFC fighters, like what untrained male could fuck up a female UFC fighter?

Like how big does the woman have to be? How big is the man got to be we got? to cyborg versus Ray Lewis It was one of the most ridiculous conversations We've ever had and the Eddie got to the point where Eddie was using like social justice warrior tactics He said that we all hated women Because Eddie was insisting that Because Eddie was insisting that Claudia Gadea, who was a badass fighter, but she also fights at 115 pounds.

How big would the man have to be for... We were thinking like 190 pound untrained man. And then we got to be like, okay, what's untrained? What if he has a year of high school wrestling? If a year of high school wrestling, that's a guy who understands how to take people down at the very least. And if he gets on top of you and he's 190 pounds and you're 115, you might be fucksville, right? And so we got into this crazy conversation. Then it got to be like, Cyborg will fuck up any untrained dude. What about Ray Lewis?

And then it got to Cyborg versus Ray Lewis. Any problem? What do you got? So it's on his Twitter page, Ray Lewis, 249 pounds. It says Chris Cyborg, 139. That is a fucking lie. Chris Cyborg, first of all, I think they should make a 145-pound weight class just for her. Because the UFC right now has two 115 and 135 recognized classes in the women's division.

And they had Cyborg get down to 140 for one fight she fought uh leslie smith at 140 see that's more realistic that she weighs 145 but she really only weighs 145 after a brutal weight cut she's probably closer to 165 yeah in real life but uh they keep making her get down to 140 which i don't i don't fucking it's not look she's not's not going to fight at 135. She's too big. But there's a video of her making weight for 140 that she just put up. It's horrific, man.

She's crying. I mean, she's like broken down. I mean, they get so fucking drained. And then they got to fight 24 hours later. It's crazy. The whole process is crazy. It's dangerous and it's stupid and it's unnecessary you should let these athletes like they should figure out what i think the real

problem is here's one of the problems is there's specific weight classes right there's like 155 there's 170 there's 185 and in each specific weight class the guy has there's 170, there's 185, and in each specific weight class, the guy has, there's a champion, right? But the variety of people, like what your natural weight should be, it really should be what you are when you're healthy and in shape and you're walking around. And ideally, that's exactly where you should be fighting. The problem is, people are going to fucking game the system. And I think what we have to do is we have to shame people that try to game the system, people that try to dehydrate themselves and fight smaller people.

That's like contrary to everything that martial arts is supposed to be about. It's supposed to be about testing your skills, and especially in the competition sense, versus someone who's the exact same size as you. So you're testing your skills. You're testing your ability against who's the exact same size as you. So you're testing your skills. You're testing your ability against someone who is the same size as you. But if you pretend that you're that size,

but you're only that size for like an hour because you dehydrate yourself, but then you blow up and you're much bigger after it's over, that's sort of contrary to what martial arts is supposed to be about. Do you think it's the frequency of the ufcs how many there are how many i mean they're flooding the ufcs there's one almost every two weeks now do

you think if they were like you're only allowed to fight every three years but we're paying you twice as much do you think that would help out uh fighters um i don't think that's the solution i think you know it's good to have a bunch of different suggestions but I think what right now everyone's locked into these pathways of fighting for titles. This is what I think I think that's awesome don't get me wrong I love when someone wins the belt I love it. It's exciting

when I get to walk up to someone and say Tyron Woodley the new welterweight champion of the world how does that sound like that's real you get to participate in one of the most special moments of an athlete's career of a fighter's entire struggle as a as a competitor and one of the most difficult things a person could ever do so that moment is like that's a crazy crazy, critical, huge, massive moment, you know, for anyone.

I remember clearly saying it to Misha Tate. I remember clearly saying it to Conor McGregor, Tyron Woodley, Robbie Lawler. I remember clearly a lot of these guys. These are huge, huge moments. I don't think the average person, and even me, I don't think I, as close as I am to the the struggle to the fights and calling them all and being there I don't think I understand it like he understands it there's no way I can't there's no way I do I just don't so there's that but after that what do we really want to see we want to see the best people fight the best people

i don't know if the title of champion is the best way to to do that i mean we all we're all obsessed with who's the best right and that is a good thing i guess because it forces people to fucking just polish that sword to the perfect sharpness. But at the end of the day, what do we want to see? We want to see the best people fight the best people. That's what we really want to see. I want to see Diaz double slap Conor in the face at the same time. Like, okay, let me ask you this right now. If somebody had to offer you a pay-per-view

tomorrow, if there's a pay-per-view they were doing tomorrow, and it's Nick Diaz versus George St. Pierre, there's no title on the line, who gives a fuck about a title? I don't care at all. I couldn't care less about a title. If it's George St. Pierre versus Nick Diaz, I'm in. I'm in. Right?

I think that's the same thing with Tyron Woodley versus Nick Diaz or Tyron Woodley versus George St. Pierre. It doesn't have to be for a title. I want to see that. I want to see what that is. It's amazing when a person wins a title. It is a gigantic achievement.

But what do you really want to see? As a person who enjoys the sport, you want to see a guy who's beating everybody. You want to see a guy who just keeps beating guys. It doesn't matter if there's a belt on the line. If I find out that Robbie Lawler has won six fights in a row against world-class competition, I'm like, he's beating this guy, he's beating that guy, he's beating Matt Brown, he's beating Johnny Hendricks. The belt doesn't mean a thing to me. It really doesn't. I just want to see, can Robbie Lawler beat Tyron Woodley?

Tyron Woodley beats Robbie Lawler. I start thinking, okay, can Tyron Woodley beat George St. Pierre? Is George St. Pierre ready to come back? If he is, can Tyron Woodley beat him? Or can George fight a really smart fight a la the way Rory McDonald did? And Rory McDonald shut down a lot of Tyron's offense in their fight and won a decision. Or is Tyron better than he was then? I want to see that.

Is he better? I want to see, is he super confident now that he won the title? Is he going to take them to some whole new level? You beat a guy like Robbie Lawyer, you knock him out in one round. You've got to think the momentum coming off of that. It's got to be stunning. I would love to see fantasy UFC, like a show where they take maybe the fighters that have retired or people that aren't as good as the other fighters and have them like almost do like

game show stuff like this. Like you have to do a game, go, all right, so this fight, you have your shoes tied. You have to hold a banana, not crush it.

You have to protect this banana. Like it's a baby, you know, like fun things like that. You know what I mean? Like, I hear what you're saying. But cause I think even as,

I think as a fight, it would still be fun just to have throw in other options, like almost like a video game, you know, where you're, you need to go to a doctor. I've told you many times, something wrong with your brain.

And then you need competition still of some kind. Like there's still the ultimate fighter. No, the fight is still a competition, but if you take away the belt, you still maybe want to have like a tournament, a month, not monthly,

but maybe a quarterly tournament or like a season of some kind so there's something did you ever see what um um showtime did in boxing with the middleweight division they had a whole um series of series of events a few years back with carl froch and um a bunch of other uh andre Ward was in it. Super Six, is that what it is? Super Six World Boxing Classic. And it was super middleweight. And they got the best super middleweights in the world. And they paired them off against each other in this long-running series where they were all committed to fighting each other. It was really interesting.

Really interesting as an idea, like as a combat sport idea. And, you know, you think about like what that could mean for the future. I think something like that for mixed martial arts would be gigantic. And it could generate a lot of interest. And it could be something where they put up a ton of money. Like instead of a world title, like what if they had an invitational? What if someone put together an invitational? if they had an invitational what if they someone put together an invitational they made a deal with the ufc and they made a deal with you know um one fc or whatever the organizations are that are

valid and you have a tournament where they're all going to duke it out and there's going to be some sort of split of revenue of the pay-per-view of this one tournament and you'll have this super six type thing like they did with showtime with boxing be insane man that'd be epic when isn't fighting for that revenue also maybe good or is that bad because you could have extra problems with that maybe with people taking dives or back-end deals or whatnot i don't know i don't know how problems come in with that but the real money in fighting is always in winning so like getting people to throw fights, boy, that's unusual. It's so unusual in high-end fighting.

Because when a fighter loses, it's not just about losing that fight. It's also about they lost their last fight. So then they're coming into their next fight as a loser. So they're getting less money. So people don't like them as much. If somebody hits you and you just fall down and pretend that you got knocked out you can do that and you can make money like that somebody could bet you or uh promise you right someone could say hey dude i'm betting 300 grand you go down the first round i'll give you a hundred

thousand dollars bro i know you're only getting paid 20 grand and so you do that and some dude that has totally been done in the world of boxing, it's definitely happened. I'm sure it's probably happened in the UFC. I'm not aware of it happening, but there's always the potential for people being deceptive. It's happened in every sport, I'm pretty sure, at some point or another, at one time or another. Yeah, wasn't there some NBA referee scandal? Oh, yeah, yeah. Tim Donahue, I believe.

And he went to jail for it, too, because he was betting. He was making bets on things that he knew from inside information, whether it's like this particular referee calls really bad against his team because maybe he doesn't like someone on the team or something like that. They're not supposed to do that, but he was calling out information publicly. I think he wrote a book about it. All the referees also then said he's bullshit, he's an asshole, he's obviously a scumbag, he went to jail. But when you look at the track records of some of these things that he was saying,

it looks to say that there is some weight, that there's a little bit of water there, that he's something. So whether or not it's legit. A little bit of water there? I didn't say that right. There's a little bit of water. I'm trying to get that statement of theirs. I like to pretend that I know what people are talking about.

Oh, yeah, that fucking little bit of water in there, huh? That statement holds water is what I was trying to say. Holds water. So he might have got framed. I don't know about framed, but he definitely got caught in what he was doing. And I think it was betting, sort of like maybe what Pete Rose did. Right. But then he wrote a book afterwards talking about all the stuff he knew

and all the scumbag shit other referees were doing. I don't think he called out names or anything like that. But some people wanted to talk to him and see what other things he knows. Yeah, man, I would imagine if you have something where people bet on it, like professional sports or even college sports, I would imagine there's so many people that bet on those games that there's always going to be low lives.

I know friends who use actual, real, old-school bookies. Really? Yeah, man. They use real bookies. Real bookies still exist. Tim Donahay. 100% of NBA referees gamble. When weird stuff was happening this year in the NBA, people always like to say that

they are setting things up for money and ratings and whatnot. And whoever wants to write an article will go to him and get a quote from him saying, this thing was fixed or this thing was staged. It's unprovable usually, but he'll say it. Should hire Amish people or something. People that definitely don't care or have TVs. Well, you know what man a duh The sports fans most sports fans gamble head. That's another thing the government fucks us on How about that?

You should be able to gamble on whatever the fuck you want all over town and the idea that like money won Gambling should be taxed and that's why they're trying to keep it. Listen, I didn't earn this money. I bet. You bet money to make money. That is so different than earning money. You tell me I earned it? Fuck you, you crooks.

Unless it's scratch-offs or the lottery by the government. Yes. In that case, gamble, gamble, gamble. With a fun logo and a big smile and you could win. Powerball. Woo. It's a Powerball. Yeah, fuck you.

Fuck you, overlords. Yeah. Fuck you for trying to keep weed from us. Fuck you from the gambling. Well, gambling destroys families. Gambling destroys families. My uncle gambled and the family lost

everything. No, he's a retard. Your uncle was a retard. Retards lose everything. They lose it through meth. They lose it through gambling. They lose it through sucking trucker dicks for crack money. They lose it through all sorts of ways. They're fucking crazy. There's a certain

amount of crazy people. You can't blame gambling. You fuck. $1,200 if you win more, you're supposed to pay taxes on it. Whoa. You can claim losses too, which is how some gamblers get through that. Oh, you can claim losses. Yeah, you don't have to say how much you gambled, I think, throughout a year.

But if you get winnings, you can also claim losses against it. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's a little trick. Write that down. Yeah, but they'll probably audit the fuck out of you if you get winnings, you can also claim losses against it. Wow. I didn't know that. Write that down. Yeah, but they'll probably audit the fuck out of you if you try to do that. You're probably like, oh, you think you're cute? Check this out. Boom! Going deep in your asshole, son. Looking for

receipts. Looking for receipts. Deep in your asshole, son. Yeah, they just have too much power. They can shut your bank accounts down. They can shut your credit cards down. They can shut your credit cards down. They can take your money from your boss before you go to court. They can do a lot of stuff that they probably shouldn't be able to do. But they have to get money from 350 million fucking people.

I mean, how many pay taxes? Probably not 300 million. I know so many people that told me they don't even do taxes. They're like, oh, I don't do taxes. Well, you're talking to like crazy comedians that will eventually get caught. Yeah, exactly. You know, there was a big scandal in Boston. There was one, I shouldn't say a scandal.

It was a dilemma. It was a huge issue in Boston that I got to experience secondhand, fortunately, with the old school comedians that were super successful there that didn't pay taxes. It was a giant issue because they got caught. And one got caught and another got caught. And then the IRS people realized, oh, none of these fucking comedians pay taxes. How much money are these guys making? Because you'd go to certain comedy clubs and be the same guy almost every weekend.

They had these deals. There were certain clubs like Nick's Comedy Stop was a big one. They had deals with the best comics in town. So if you went by Nick's Comedy Stop on any given night in the late 80s, you would see like Steve Sweeney, Don Gavin. They would be there every weekend. So those places were packed. They were all getting paid cash. Or cocaine.

Or allegedly. God, you have to say allegedly. um i never got offered coke but i also never got offered money so i never worked there really i like i like i'm not gonna say who but i a friend of ours like every time he goes just give me cat i mean yeah just give me cash just give me cash motherfucker um i think i might have worked there once or twice ever at nicks but i was never in the position where they could offer you coke I just wasn't in deep enough

if I had worked there I'd emceed something and then I came back and worked there but that was after I had agents and they handled the financial part of things like later or later on but those stories were always there those guys got paid in coke those guys got you know

but they just fucking were animals. They were living like savages and they weren't paying their taxes and they, one by one, they all got fucking thunderstruck. And it was a worst case scenario because it was like, here's the comedy boom, okay? Here's like the 80s comedy boom where everybody's got rolled up sleeves

on a fucking blazer and they're standing on stage. Did you ever notice? And everybody's doing that. And they're all killing it, right? And they're all over stage did you ever notice and then everybody's doing that and they're all killing it right they're all over the world and yet even at the improv can't get enough talent because there's there's just not enough comedians they just they need more those shows are huge people love like sitting in front of the tv like vegging out watching evening at the improv so these comedy clubs explode all across the country i mean fucking explode but as joey diaz likes to say they couldn't cover the spread they couldn't cover the spread Joe Rogan

people get tired of seeing the same fucking act over and over again you're going out you're buying a fucking babysitter and that's what happened it died off so these guys made all their money in the heyday and during the heyday they're gonna blow on that fucking party every night killing and i told her that's not my fucking dick the whole place goes crazy the world goes nuts they fucking clink glasses at the bar and after a while they got a mr johnson it's mr peterson from the irs i'd love to have a word with you oh shit and then they just go over the fact that they audited the comedy club and the comedy club has all these comics on roster you are amongst them you made X amount of dollars we got paid zero you

owe us this plus a penalty which is that and you just and the comic clubs have dried up and they're getting older and a lot of them they're just tired they're just drinking and partying all the time you get worn out and then all sudden there's no more work the work dies off you haven't really done the road so you don't have a national presence you only have a local presence and then the fucking money guys come in just sucking it out of you that's the irs i'm just gonna hook the straw up to your spine and pull the fluid out i recently had to go through all my stuff to for the irs and it was nowadays it's a lot better though i guess than it used to be because if you're say a comedian,

uh, you go through and you just go like, Oh, comedy store. I was at the comedy store. I'm a comedian. It's been, you know,

and I go to like the comedy store almost every single day. But you also realize that everything you do as a comic, like that, I could write off because the parking next door, I can write off. Uh, if I even get Netflix, I could write that off because I'm researching

Netflix. And it's pretty amazing how much you can write off and how much it's documented nowadays because everyone's using their cards instead of paying cash for everything. So it's gotten better for comics, I think, now. But yeah, back then, I couldn't

even imagine just having all those receipts and just being like, no, I swear this is for comedy. it's kind of screwy because if you're like a writer you could do that too if you're a writer you can say that you're doing research and you go to the movies i don't do that i don't do that i wouldn't this says something screwy about it because like yeah i guess that you could write it off i guess it's research but really you're just having fun at the movies aren't't you? Yeah. You know, I don't know.

Business lunches though. I don't know if you've ever been on tons of them, but I used to work in restaurants where people would come in and would abuse the shit out of those credit cards and order steaks for 15 guys. And they're sitting there drinking whiskey at lunch and yeah, but isn't that about business? But it is business in the sense, like say like,

uh, Brian and I had a business opportunity for you. And we wanted you to get excited about it. So we're going to take you out. We're going to get you drunk. We're going to buy you some steaks. And we're going to sit there and clink glasses together. And we'll feel a little loose.

We'll have some camaraderie because of this booze. We'll be feeling good. And we'll go, like, I like this venture. I think this could be really successful. I think we're going to work well together. We're going to have a good fucking time. Ah, clink. That's a real business lunch. 100%. But like in that

Wolf of Wall Street where they're sitting there and this dad's looking through all their money they spent on hookers and whatnot. He's like, you really had to spend $78,000 on da-da-da, but we could have had lunch at McDonald's or Subway instead of having it at the Ivy or Koi or whatever

and getting sushi. We could have just got food. Why did you have to spend $500? You could have just spent $100, right? Why'd you guys have to have all the crazy steaks and $500 bottles of wine to talk about this meal? It's the same kind of thought. What kind of fucking logic is that, pussy? I'm just saying.

You're using a movie. You're using a movie. You're going crazy. You're going crazy. It's been done plenty of times. I've had friends that make their living off of it. You're not going to impress anyone. I understand, but Jamie, what you're saying is ridiculous.

You're talking about some big business on a budget. We could have gone to McDonald's. A supersized or a value-added franchise. I'm just sort of making it, but if you were going to say you can't use Netflix. Why spend $500 on the client when you can spend $5? So don't spend any money on your research to make your job better. Just watch people at the park instead of paying $10 to get better quality research. You know what I mean?

That's all I'm saying. That's the argument. Watch people at the park. That's free. That's free entertainment. How is that like taking in a movie? I was making a comic skit. Did you hit your head today?

No, no. I'm just saying. Did you hit your head today? No, no. I'm just saying as a comic looking for material, if you're going to make the argument of saying I need to get material, this is what I'm going to do to get my material. It could be anything you want to do. You could talk about basketball. You could talk about poker.

Unless you want to do a strip club joke and you're at a park trying to think of strip club jokes. That's what I'm saying. If you want to talk about strip clubs, you have to go to a strip club. So this business guy making this big deal at lunch, he's, I have to go to this lunch and I have to spend this money because I have to impress my client.

They can't impress him at McDonald's. There's just, you can make the arguments if you want all day long for the thing that is needed for your business. That's the only thing I was trying to say. Well, you mean from the employer's point of view of allowing this to happen or from the person who's the salesperson that's out there with the business lunch? Whoever's getting in trouble and needs to defend this action, I suppose.

Yeah. I could see both arguments, but honestly, I think for a lot of the people that have those accounts, it's kind of important that they form these relationships. That's why a business lunch is actually an effective thing. So I would think that a business lunch is one of the rare exceptions of important that they form these relationships. That's why a business lunch is actually an effective thing. So I would think that a business lunch is one of the rare exceptions of something that makes fun that you write off or makes sense rather that you write off. But I could see that movies do make sense. You know, like if you're a guy and you're, uh, you're writing, you're a writer and you're writing a piece about modern horror movies, about the lack of modern horror

movies. Like if you're a modern, if you're a fan of horror movies fuck you have to wait a long time how long you have to wait for a good goddamn vampire movie how long for a werewolf movie it's every 30 years god damn it every now and then they tease you like Benicio del Toro and that were all Benicio del Toro he's not gonna fuck it up this is gonna be amazing I they fucked it, Benicio Del Toro, he's not going to fuck it up. This is going to be amazing. They fucked it up. Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins and it's still blue.

Didn't Jack Nicholson make one? Yeah, that was the worst with Michelle Pfeiffer when she was hot. So hot. I'll tell you a horror movie. I re-watched Deliverance the other day.

That's a horror movie. I can't stop thinking about that squeal like a pig scene what a creepy realistic version of parts of life that goes on every single day probably probably right that was a crazy ass movie man is that jack nicholson look at that that is so dumb why does his forehead have zero hair yeah he's and when that when he turns into a wolf man there's like he's the same size everything it's like well like you know what do you have like more teeth yeah who's that though that's not that's not him that's not jack nicholson is that a different one or is that

another uh scene in the movie like cgi yeah i don't look at marshall fivert jesus who is that is that from the movie jack Jack Nicholson, yeah. Oh, that's what he looked like at the end? So there was like stages of werewolfdom? I don't even remember this movie. This is eyes for something? Oh, this is different. Find out if there's a scene where you see what Jack Nicholson looked like.

I think it was called Wolf. It was really corny. They like jumped in slow motion. Like whenever you're showing slow motion, first of all, you fucked up. Horror movies should be about two second scenes. Like Alien. The first movie, Alien, was perfect. You rarely got to see the alien.

And when you did see it, it was like... You're like, shit! It was a perfect movie in that sense. When you're seeing Jack Nicholson, who looks exactly like Jack Nicholson with a thicker beard. He looks like Jack Nicholson that would be a barista in a handcrafted coffee place in Seattle. That's how fucking furry he is. Oh, he's got slightly bigger teeth, which, by the way, you can buy. Just like you can buy dental implants, you can buy those slightly bigger teeth. So you essentially could look fucking exactly

like Jack Nicholson in this stupid wolf movie. You could get some fake eyes where you put contacts on that make you look scary. And so he's jumping in slow motion. And as he's jumping in slow motion, you realize that's just like a person's body.

It's not even weird. It's just a guy like this. He's peeing on him here. I remember this movie. He peed on James Spader. Oh, he did? Remember James Spader before he was in this new fucking bullshit show he's in? Remember him?

Huh? That didn't look like James Spader at all. Was it? No, I'm just saying he looks way too young. I guess this is old. I think it was Spader. That's 1984, right? Yeah, I'm not disagreeing. I'm just saying. Is it 84 or 94?

94. Sorry. Wow, 94. Let's see what the wolf part of him looks like. Because it was really bad. I wish I was friends with the people who were doing that movie back when it was happening. I'd be like, oh, she

does? Whatever. How bad is this going to look? Come on. on what is she doing she's running as the wolf do we miss the transition that's like half the werewolf movie man if you go to like lone Chaney see lone Chaney jr. he had an excuse go to the wolf man the old wolf and look at James Spader down there look at a handsome little fella look at him look at him. Look at him. See? Isn't that crazy? That's that dude that's on that Blacklist show.

Looks like he drinks a lot of water now. Go back. Okay, just Google Lone Chaney the Wolfman. So that was the Wolfman from 2010 that you just pulled up. Which is pretty fun. I put it on the background sometimes when I'm writing. because like visually it's kind of interesting but if the top

one the top one that's that's lone chaney is the werewolf so this is like find out what year this is man because this is like oh this is just an award show um he's the classic Wolfman though Yeah You see like the monster mash and stuff Well it was so goofy Claude Rains 1941 Go full screen This is exciting So this is a trailer for a movie

Back in the time where they didn't even have trailers Somebody must have made this after the fact probably As the Wolfman probably. As the wolf man. Let's do the mosh. The way Jenny Williams was killed? Yes. Find something? Animal tracks.

Whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself. Oh, don't hand me that. You're just wasting your time. The wolf bit you, didn't he? Oh, don't hand me that. You're just wasting your time. You wouldn't want to run away with a murderer would you you're not you know you're not i killed baylor i killed richardson if i stay here any longer you can't tell who'll be next Look at these special effects.

Good lord. Look at him. The girl's yelling. She's barely fighting. Yeah. She just kind of gave up. Yeah. I'll take it.

She was psyched. The bloodlust of a savage beast. The Wolfman. I wonder if that's a real trailer. or if that's something a fan created. It looks like a real trailer. It does, but I didn't think they had trailers. Did they have trailers back in 1941? Yeah, they had trailers back then.

Did they? Really? Absolutely. Oh, wow. I didn't think they did, man. I know that for some movies, like when you go to iTunes and you go to click on trailer for some like really shitty movies they don't really have a trailer they just take a chunk of the movie like stick it in there who gives a fuck no one's watching this piece of shit

movie I did that the other day it was some horror movie and I tried to watch it and I said let me see what the trailer is the trailer wasn't a trailer at all it was just like they just took a snip what do you want like four minutes how long you want the trailer five minutes any five minutes in particular a good five

titty they find titty they put that in there i mean that's a super common thing i didn't know they i wonder what year they invented the trailer if you had a guess 46 46 well that's 41 okay okay 36 26 it certainly looks like a real trailer. Like the font's perfect. But how bad is the acting? Even with a murderer? There's bad acting in movies that I thought were amazing 10 years ago. First trailer was shown in a U.S. film theater in 1913. Whoa, that's amazing.

Wow. And we've been fucked ever since then. Advertising should be illegal, right? It's too easy to fuck with our heads. I like trailers more than I like movies. How about that? Because it's a fucking juicy, like, they figured out how to make it into a little soundbite. Makes me excited.

That's what happened with Suicide Squad, apparently. They made that cool trailer that came out earlier last year, and everyone really liked that. And the Warner Brothers company, this is what I read, they were afraid it wasn't going to be that cool. It wasn't going to look like that. It wasn't going to deliver on that promise. Well, they were also freaked out because Batman and Superman failed so hard.

So they hired that company that made that trailer to re-edit the movie that the director was making at the same time they were making it. So there was two cuts going around at the same time, and then they molded them together at the end of the summer. Oh, too many cooks. Too much cum. Too much cum in the egg drop soup. They actually added jokes.

They had to reshoot a lot of stuff to add more humor to it. They edited out the Joker completely. But all you know is that the director's cuts probably didn't even— Wait a minute, they edited out the Joker? A lot. I thought that was a big thing with Jared Leto. No, no, they edited a lot of the Joker out. Most of the Joker out. He's barely

in that movie, I heard. Really? I refuse to watch it. You heard. No, no, I read it. Is that true? He complained about it too? He's not even in the poster. He looked dope. Did you notice that? He's not even in the poster. One of the main characters is not even in the poster. Well, in all fairness, who the Did you notice that? He's not even in the poster. One of the main characters is not even in the poster.

Well, in all fairness, who the fuck knows what happened? Yeah. You know, this Jared Leto character, who knows what kind of wacky shenanigans he was up to. He was doing weird stuff to the cast in character the whole time. Oh, was he? Yeah. And so he pissed them off? I don't know about the cast.

He was just supposedly. He became an issue? I don't know. Yeah, there He was just supposedly... Became an issue? I don't know. Yeah, there you go. I can see that coming. I read somewhere, I don't know if it's true, Will Smith... I love saying that. I didn't research it, but I read that Will Smith hates him and publicly said

he hates him. Jared Leto? Yeah. Wow. If Will Smith hates you... But I don't know if it's true, though. Did you hear about The Rock yesterday coming out publicly talking about Fast and the Furious 8 castmates that were being divas on set? And it was causing a big rift. And all of his castmates, like Kurt Russell's in it,

Tyrese, Vin Diesel obviously is in it, a couple people. He didn't publicly say who it was, but the way it came out, it was like an Instagram post. And so everyone was hounding all of his castmates, asking who it was and what was really going on. Turns out it was Vin Diesel, post and so everyone was hounding all of his castmates asking who it was and what was really going on.

Turns out it was Vin Diesel and they had it out in his trailer yesterday. What was going on with Vin Diesel? He's showing up late to set. He's a producer on the movie though too. He's done eight. Yeah, well,

he makes a lot of money on these movies. Yeah, he wears sunglasses inside. That's always the weirdest thing when people wear sunglasses. You can do that if you're P. Diddy. There's certain people that can do that. You can do that being Vin Diesel. Look at this.

Fast 8P. It was reportedly Vin Diesel the Rock was calling a candy ass. This is the best viral promotion of a film that hasn't been used. Vin Diesel's a large gentleman, but I would bet everything I've ever made on on the gentleman to the right with a goatee like everything everything i know me too my life i've ever made my life the future of the world itself i'd bet it on the rock the rock's awesome he's well he's an inspirational character too like um he's a dude who gets up in the fuck what does it say the rock walks back his name calling, but Vin Diesel lives for drama. Hmm.

I don't know what that means. He said he maybe just relaxed and said, what am I doing? Why am I wasting my time here? It is why, I mean, he's the number one most highly paid actor in the world. He's number one. So, you know, this know this is gonna be drama there's gonna be people that fuck with you when you're number one there's that there's gonna be issues you have you work with some dude and there's also probably a lot of bullshit stories that are put into the into the

tmz's just so you have some prior advertising of a movie that no one even knew was being filmed but this isn't even TMZ, right? This is his own Instagram page. You can say that they're doing it on purpose? Maybe. I mean, Special Rocks is such a prankster anyways, you know? That's a good point. That's a good point.

Calling a dude a candy ass does sound like pro wrestling talk. I don't trust anything anymore. Like, for the longest time, I don't trust. I used to think Rotten Tomatoes was, like, completely legit, right? But then you start seeing movies on Rotten and you're like i saw that movie there's no way that's a 98 how in the fuck is that a 98 then i heard from somebody that they only pick the top comic or top uh uh reviewers uh they don't use the same reviewers for every movie so like they'll have like 10 top reviewers for this movie and only five for this movie.

They're almost picking and choosing. Then me and Jamie were talking about, we found out that, it's like who owns Rotten Tomatoes? And Viacom owns Rotten Tomatoes. Not Viacom, Fandango owns it. And then Fandango's owned by Universal and Universal's owned by Comcast.

And Universal and Sony. Like I was, you know, anyways, so, because that, that's like, Welcome to the Terror Dome. Come on down.

And all that, all that fucking thing is, is selling TV shows and movies that have, they make those. Okay, but doesn't Rotten Tomatoes

operate under user, like user criticism? Yeah, say like it uses the top reviewer. Say like there's a hundred reviewers that they choose from.

They choose from? Yeah. They don't use the same reviewers for every movie I've been looking. What? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. But you're saying they choose the reviewers but the same reviewers, they're not reviewing every movie, are they? Is there like an industry in reviewing things?

If you look at say like let's see what movies come out sausage party right now right look at the who's reviewed that movie then look at a movie that's also opening this friday see how many of those reviewers are the same they're not the same reviewers all the time 100 how many people are reviewing a movie on rotten tomatoes like when they give those tomato numbers. Right. How many people are doing that? It's got to be thousands. No, they only, well, they have user reviews and then they have like professional reviewers.

85, what? 74 reviews. Right. What? Wait a minute. Oh, this is a critics consensus. Yes. Wait a minute.

Was it always that way? Yes. They've always been separated through critics and then user reviews. And there's been like a separate icon that you're supposed to pay attention to. I always just go to the app. Right. And then if you scroll down, though, if you scroll down, they have like. That's actually Yelp.

Go to the Yelp app. Rotten Tomatoes doesn't even have an app. Do they? Yeah, they do. They make that app? Yeah, they do. Do they? They have an app.

But then they have like the reviewers. And then a lot of these reviewers, there's somebody that actually chooses if it's rotten or not. I clicked on a few of these like what they're called fresh reviews where it's supposed to be positive review. And if you go through it, you're like, how did they get positive from this? This sounds like they were kind of on the fence, like a 50-50%, you know. But then it's like all, none of it makes real sense. There's no real math on this at all. It's pretty bullshit.

Because there's been a few movies. That's interesting that you just pointed that out. Yeah. It's interesting that it's critics. Yeah. I really thought that the whole purpose of those things was reviewers being like regular people. Yeah. If you look at it like a site like Metacritic, that seems like it's a little

bit less biased and more factual, and that makes more sense. Because there's been so many movies on here lately that have been like, that's impossible that that's a 90%. Yeah, because if you had a movie, you could just juice these guys, take them to business lunch, clink clink, air quotes.

You said Metacritic, I just went to their website, and they're owned by CBS Interactive. Oh, clink. Air quotes. You said Metacritic. I just went to their website and they're owned by CBS Interactive. Oh, Jesus Christ. Never mind. God damn it. I had no idea about that. CBS Interactive. You motherfuckers.

That's Viacom. Oh, my God. We're being bought and sold. We're bought and sold, ladies and gentlemen. Look at this. Now, if you go to this one and look at the same movies,

like Sausage party or whatever it is It won't match up shouldn't they match up if they both do the exact same fucking thing in their own from the same company I hate life. They're not owned by the same company one of them is owned by CBS the other one is owned by Universal right but yeah notice how many how many reviewers on this one compared to how many reviewers on the one that's Universal, with Sony and Universal work together, if not owned by the same company. Right. How many different, what was the numbers for Metacritic? Yeah, how many? 74 versus what did Metacritic have?

Less. Yeah, this is for Critic Reviews. They have 27, 6, 34 or so. Just 34. Sorry, folks. We had to get medicated. So Metacritic is pulling from not the same pool as Rotten Tomatoes. Where are all these extra reviewers coming from, Rotten Tomatoes, on a movie that you guys are behind?

It's a bunch of people that are, you know. Look, if you had to say there's a network, right? Like, okay, there's a bunch of people that are, you know, look, if you had a, let's say there's a network, right? Like, okay, there's a network of podcasters, right? We're all kind of, whether or not we're networked together officially, we're all connected, right? Well, you know, kind of movie reviewer type characters that are like online movie reviewer dudes, if they say, hey man, you want to get in with this Rotten Tomatoes thing?

It's really cool. You just, you have to go to seven movies a week, and you know, hey man, you want to get in with this Rotten Tomatoes thing? It's really cool. You just, you have to go to seven movies a week and you know, you really, you get paid really well and you just write these little things about it and you know, you're encouraged to support the big ones. Just be fair in your criticism. You don't have to make things up. If you don't like something, just be fair. Okay, cool.

And then you go in there and then you got steady money. You got steady money coming your way. I don't know how much it is, but I would imagine a company like Rotten Tomatoes which you've used I've used so many people have used to see a movie they probably make some cash right oh yeah have to they have to everybody knows it yeah who doesn't know about Rotten Tomatoes right I mean they advertise movies on Rotten Tomatoes that they judge yeah that seemed kind of weird It's well the problem is even if it was like totally legit in the beginning right after a while I believe someone comes along with you like even the Fertitta is sold the UFC

Okay, just be aware like so it's at a certain point in time no matter how rich you are someone comes along with a good Number and you go, huh? Okay, I say okay, so we'll still be able to review movies. I can be honest. You can be fair. Can you be fair? I can be fair. I can be fair.

Let's do this. Ah! Let's go on a business lunch. Woo! Next thing you know, it's chip clubs, steaks, strippers. Woo! No McDonald's. Tequila.

Woo! We're going to be in business forever. We'll be killing forever. We're going to die someday. We're not dying, bro. We're gonna be in business forever. We'll be killing forever. We're gonna die someday. We're not dying, bro. We're not fucking dying. We're gonna take hormones, and we're gonna go to a fucking doctor in Brazil,

and he's gonna shoot us up with the same shit that they shot up Michelle Pfeiffer with. She looks perfect. She looks really similar to how she looked in that wolf movie. Selena Gomez right now. I just saw her in person the other day. She's 12.

So hot. She's 12 years old. And she's so small and hot. She's a little tiny person. What's wrong with you? You know, it's so weird. They really gave me, I got to go to the Sausage Party premiere, and I got to be on the red carpet with all the celebrities and stuff.

It was really my first time ever doing something like that level. But I got to see everyone in person that I've always seen, like Selena Gomez. And that Josh, what's that guy's name again? Josh from Limitless? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. level but I got to see everyone in person that I've always seen like Selena Gomez and and that Josh what's that guy's name again uh Josh from Limitless or Joseph Gordon-Levitt George all these guys that I've seen so many times they're so small and like in real life it's so weird seeing them they seem like little versions of everyone it's so cool it's cool and interesting well you're not a big guy you're my size I know, but you think I guess because you think of them as superheroes, you know, in a lot of these

movies and stuff. If I had a dollar for every time someone said, you're shorter than I thought you'd be, to me, I'd have a hundred dollars. I'd probably have a hundred dollars. I'm not kidding. Right. Michael Cera, by the way, he was the weirdest guy. Michael Cera. Who's that?

He was in Kick-Ass. Is that his name? Oh, that guy? No, Scott Pilgrim. Remember Scott Pilgrim? Oh, yeah. Okay, he's weird? Yeah.

That guy's weird? Yeah, he just has a weird vibe to him. He's like a... He's probably a little uncomfortable. That's why he's funny. Yeah, a hipster, like a homeless hipster. That's what he looked like. You know what, man?

Except from the 60s. That dude is so funny. I love that guy. I think that whenever someone's that funny I always assumed there's something going on this is some some kind of crazy you know he's that funny he's a funny fucking guy man I don't movie kick-ass is still one of my heard not not Scott Pilgrim yeah it's super bad too super bad is my favorite it's like the one that scene when Jonah Hill's just drawing dicks in school.

I remember I was literally like lying. I watched it by myself. And I was lying sideways on my couch, kicking and like paddling in the air. Like, ah! Because he kept drawing dicks. I was like, why do you keep drawing dicks? That's my favorite. I'm like, that's something I would totally have done.

I still do it to this day. Half the Nope-A-Pads have dicks on them. I know. David Cho. Whenever David Cho's in here, he's something I would totally have done. I still do it to this day. Half the Nopa pads have dicks on them. I know. David Cho. Whenever David Cho's in here, he's drawing dicks. Oh, my God. I love that. He's got all different colored dicks.

So perfect. Yeah, dicks, boobs, and eyeballs were my power three. Was it Jonah Hill that did it, or was it him? Yeah, it was Jonah Hill. God, that's fucking funny, man. Saw Jonah Hill. Cool. Is Sausage Party funny?

Be honest. Don't Rotten Tomatoes me, you fuck. I'll tell you the full truth. I've been waiting for this movie for a long-ass time, because it's kind of like a dream movie, doing a Pixar movie and having a dirty, like an old Fritz the Cat or something. And, you know, there's a couple of scenes in there that kind of are very, very fun to watch. But overall, it was just like having a kid's movie

where they cussed at. And it was like, you know, really kind of like, oh God, oh geez. I got bored. That was the biggest thing. I just got really bored while watching it. And I was not expecting that. I was expecting that this would be the best movie.

I'd get a tattoo of it on my arm or something. But no, it was one of the biggest letdowns I've ever had and see Rotten Tomatoes that's called reality the Internet's coming for you son, and I love Seth Rogen movies That's my favorite like like if there was a class of movies Seth Rogen movies are my top favorite But it it just didn't like it was cheesy like they called the Jews juice And it was like all these like things where you're just like oh god it's like open mic night

at the end oh man Brian coming down hard on the sausage party yeah I mean I I really maybe I was just

in a mood here's a little bit of a correction maybe I was just in a mood I will definitely watch it again and see if

but it seemed like a kids movie where they cuss that's pretty much like if I'm gonna do the first or like a new version of like an adult cartoon i'm going to show or nudity i'm going to get that nc-17 rating i don't get or i'm right on rating i'm going all i'm going balls deep okay you know okay but you know that's not what they were trying to do

they i mean they they do. There's the movie spoiler alert Don't don't don't all right. Don't I'll change it then the movie ends very graphic Does it end as graphic is like Team America world police when they're fucking yeah, it goes over it, but imagine if it was made for Cinemax Okay, you know it's a see nipple, but no no. No, these are all just pieces of lettuce and tacos and stuff. That's what I'm saying. Don't say anymore. You've already confused me enough where I can forget what you said and just cross it off to you being you. Right.

But no, I mean, it's unfortunate. Well, you know what, man? Did you see Ghostbusters? Fuck no. Okay. Here's my thinking. Did you? did god my girls want to see it all right it's a perfect movie for an eight-year-old girl it's a perfect movie for an eight-year-old girl that's my review had she seen the original kind of scary she doesn't have to here's the thing about here's the thing about watching ghostbusters in its new form. If the original didn't exist, it's kind

of a fun movie. It's stupid. There's some giant leaps. There's some kind of clunky writing, but there's also some funny shit. There's some funny moments. I heard it was all man-hating and it ends with... Not all man-hating, but definitely a lot of man-hating. There was definitely

every dude in the movie was a dork. But it's not... The only one who was really unbelievable that well like literally wasn't believable was Chris Helmsworth the guy Yeah, that was awesome. He was awesome in it. It's really funny But he's so stupid in the movie that it's unbelievable And these girls are like constantly enamored with him, in love with him, but they can't believe how dumb he is. And that's like sort of this running gag to the point where it's almost ridiculous.

But here's what I think. I think if that bothers you, what kind of a bitch are you? Like that's really bothering you that these women are shitting on men to the point where they're taking Chris Helmsworth and they're making him dumb. Out of all the dumb bitches that have been in movies can't we have one movie where these three you know not so good looking girls take over the fucking world

and and and save everybody and and have the dudes be all fucked up looking or uh or a mess or crazy or chris helmsworth and chris helms, who's perfect and beautiful, also like the dumbest human being that's ever walked the face of the planet. And an actor showing his head shots. Like the whole deal. He's like super cliche. I never go to the movies anymore because of the problem I'm having with things like Ghostbusters, though, and stuff where the hype doesn't live up to the movie. The movie sucks so bad I can't believe I popped it. It didn't have to suck.

That was my point. Yeah. It didn't have to suck. Like there was some funny shit to the movie. The movie sucks so bad, I can't believe I popped it. It didn't have to suck. That was my point. Yeah. It didn't have to suck. Like, there was some funny shit in the movie. I don't want to give away any parts of it, but there were some, like, clever turns in the beginning of the movie where I laughed.

I was like, this is funny. This is funny. And I thought to myself, I was trying to watch that movie saying, if I saw this movie without having known about the first movie, what would I think about it? Especially because I'm taking my kids, right?

It's a good movie to take kids to. It's fun. It's silly. It's kind of scary. Like, whoa, but it's obviously really fake. But it wasn't that bad. It wasn't to the point where anybody would get mad. The only reason why anybody got mad

is because it's a redo of the original Ghostbusters, and it's all women instead of all men. Everybody got fucking terrified or angry or frustrated or pissed or these fucking social justice warriors my thought is who gives a fuck like is that really a concern that they've decided to try to make money by redoing Ghostbusters with chicks like isn't that an obvious thing I thought I think the biggest concern for me lately with movies is the stories aren't there. We're just looking at so much CGI and tricks that then you really think about, like, holy shit, what the fuck was the plot of this movie? Well, that was Ghostbusters. Yeah. Definitely. There was definitely

part of that. There was also some really clunky writing. There was some, like, the point where you saw them in some scenes earlier and they were really fun and unexpected and light, fun kind of scenes. Like, this movie's kind of fucking weird it's it's like it's it's not a bad movie and then like oh but it's kind of bad here this part's kind of bad it's only a bunch of different movies it's not like if you go back and watch like pick a classic movie like if you go watch the outlaw josie w the outlaw Josie Wales is the outlaw Josie Wales

from minute one to the time of the end of the movie it doesn't vary in the way it feels it feels like the outlaw Josie Wales it's a beautiful work of art it's seamless in its production like the way it portrays everything is the same through the whole movie and it builds up and it makes you feel like you're really engrossed and ingripped in it. This movie didn't do that. This Ghostbusters movie would take you in and pull you away and push you away from it. It was like it would be so clunky at times. You'd be like, what? Is this the same movie that did that YouTube thing earlier that was so hilarious?

Is this the same movie? How did this get through? Did you guys just... Who gave you notes? Did you guys get shitty notes? Like, what happened? I want to know what happened. Because, like, if that Ghostbuster movie came out and it was all chicks, but it was

fucking bang and just hilarious. Like, what is that movie that all the girls love that I haven't seen that's supposed to be hilarious? Bridesmaids and something? No, the Bad Mom? No, that's a new one. Yeah. But there's an old one. Something Bridesmaids? Bridesmaids and something? No, the bad mom? No, that's a new one. Yeah. But there's an old one. Something Bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids, yeah. That, yeah. Kristen Wiig's in it too. Yes. That movie's supposed to be fucking hilarious. I have not seen it. But like a lot of people that have seen it that I respect as comedians have said, dude, that movie is fucking hilarious. I think Burr might have said it.

God, I... Might just put words in his mouth. Maybe it was Joey Diaz. Did you see this? The new Independence Day? Of course not. Fuck that. Of course not. How long did that last?

Awful when I saw it. How long did that last in movie theater? Oh, a day. At least, I mean, it has to last at least a week, but I think a week or two. America has spoken, Independence Day. Enough. Capital E-Nough. It's weird because I buy movies on iTunes now.

When it's not on Netflix and it's not on Hulu, I'd rather spend $10 and buy it on iTunes than go to a movie and spend $50 on everything. So I buy a lot of movies now. And so many movies that I've heard nothing but good things about this movie, I'm like, God damn it, I wasted 10 bucks on that fucking piece. Like what? Give me an example.

Oh, fuck. Did you like 10 Cloverfield Lane? No, I haven't seen that, but I, I, that's one of the ones I'm about to buy.

Here's the problem. I'll be, I'm about to, uh, endorse it and recommend it to you, but you might hate it. Some people hated it. Did you see it in the theater?

No, saw it at home. Do you like seeing movies in the theater? Yes. Or action movies specifically? Yeah. do you think that's important to see them there versus like at home unless you're p diddly i mean like and you got some gigantic ass fucking house with a movie theater in it you're not going to get the same effect of the sound like the i think the when when someone is a composer like let's take for example like uh certain movies that have amazing soundtracks

and like you hear things like happening behind you like the most recent star wars movie soundtrack was incredible and like there's all these there's all this shit going on it's part of the experience you're watching this giant ass fucking screen it's beautiful crystal clear the sound is incredible. It literally feels like it's coming from everywhere in the room. You can't reproduce that at home. So in that case, I think that, yeah, for some kinds of movies, watching it in a movie theater is... But how about a country with no country for old men?

That's totally unnecessary to watch that movie in the movie theater. You don't need to require that. That's totally unnecessary to watch that movie in the movie theater. You don't need to require that. That's just not a big sound movie, though. Sound is required and whatnot, but there's no big sound elements in it. Right. It's also a movie that might be better if you absorb it by yourself. You don't want to be influenced by anybody because it's such a movie that makes you think so much. Even the end of it, I don't want to give it away, but it's a very strange ending.

It's one of the best movies I've ever seen. But it's one of those movies where as you're watching it, you're like in gripped. You're just, it takes you to this place. And you don't want to be distracted in any way when you're dealing with this. It's not doing anything you expect it to do. It's doing all sorts of weird shit. Like it's very different than a lot of movies and that a lot of movies they have this like very specific formula that even if they get creative inside that formula, they still stick to the formula and the good guy wins in the end and all that stuff happens. This movie is not like that at all. No country for old men. Took me like

a couple of years to really appreciate what it was all about. Cause I saw it. I was like, God, the acting is so good. The story is so compelling so compelling but what is what is missing in this thing what's missing is it's not tidy it's like this just spectacular work of of drama so much shit going on and it just leaves you with this feeling of whoa at the end of it you know and i think that you know movies like that that's a that's a rare accomplishment. It's sort of like when we were talking about Michael Phelps being so incredible at something that everybody could do. There's all kinds of movies that are awesome. And then every now and then you get a movie that makes you go, whoa.

Like a complete redefiner. Super rare. But when it happens it happens we hear the last five that aren't that like here's the last five i bought that sucked and everyone told me it was an amazing movie inside out which is a pixar movie loved it wow adorable my kids loved it i read stories to them every night enjoyed ited it. Gosh, you liked it. So you liked that movie. I shut down my body's testosterone adapters, and I sit in this seat as a daddy. And I live my life through, how dare you?

How dare you? How dare you mock him while he cries in Albuquerque? And while, you know, I enjoy it from their eyes. They enjoy it from their eyes they enjoy it like they think it's like a you hang out with a six-year-old that you love dearly you know a child that you you know no for kids I agree 100% definitely but but if

it was about myself but shut this stupid fucking shit off yeah the worst I like I have a theory that if you're on like for you if you're on depression medicine it's like the best movie ever I've heard people saying I've cried five times in that movie with a kid you might cry yeah've heard people saying I've cried five times in that movie if you do this with a kid you might cry

yeah another one a million ways to die in the west one of the worst piles of shit I've ever seen in my life Seth MacFarlane's movie

where he's in the west Seth MacFarlane that's his name right Family Guy guy he made a movie yeah is he the actor

everyone told me that was great and I fucking hated it. Oh, another Seth Rogen movie. Sometimes you get that top ten pussy, and it could wreck your brain. You start thinking, man, fuck cartoons. I'm ready to sling this dick in front of the camera. Seth MacFarlane.

He's too smart. He's too much of a bad motherfucker. Seth MacFarlane movie number two smart He's too much of a bad motherfucker Seth MacFarlane movie number two Came to bit him in his ass The night before The night before? What's that? Everyone told me that was a great movie

I haven't heard of that It's a Seth MacFarlane movie That I forgot I bought That it was really horrible But that's the movie Look at him Yeah Who's the girl?

She's hot Charlize Theron? No That's not Charlize Theron What's going on with her face? That's not real That's a photoshop poster A little bit so Why would they do that

You take one of the most Beautiful women in the world And you alter her To make her look like Some modern day playmate That's so stupid That wasn't her That's Amanda Seyfried

Oh okay Well there you go bitch Take that back There she is Charlize Theron God damn it No Yeah Come on man That can't really be Well, there you go, bitch. Take that back. There she is. Charlize Theron. God damn it. No. Yeah.

Come on, man. That can't really be it. 33% Rotten Tomatoes. Someone didn't pay their bills. Someone didn't pay their bills. Rotten Tomatoes needs that paper. Ted 2. Speaking of stuff like that.

You want more than 33? Well, you know, we got to talk. We got to have a business lunch. We'll have a business lunch. Rotten Tomatoes have turned into a gangster from New Jack City. Show them your titties. Show them your basement titties. We got to have a meeting, a business meeting.

I'll put it on my platinum card. No, you'd have a black card. If you're a real baller, you have a black card. Yeah. Baby, why don't you get a black card? I think it'd be cool if when my sister comes over and her fucking husband

starts bragging about his business you put all your black card. Baby, a black card. You know, it's a good movie for kids. I think it's one of my favorite animated ones. Zooland. Or not. Zootopia.

I think he's like, Seth, motherfucking McFarlane, I don't need a goddamn black card, okay? I need like a regular card, it's ironic. I have a flip phone, I drive a Mini Cooper. I'm Seth fucking McFarlane. I made the Valley guy, you bitch! How much success has that guy had?

He's great, I like him. He is awesome. I met him had he's great I like him he's awesome I met him he's a super good dude I was with you high times awards I met him twice that was

that was I don't know I don't think we met him then dude yeah I think we met Seth Rogen do we meet oh yeah you're right

it was Seth Rogen yeah I met Seth MacFarlane at his place because I did a voice like a fear factor voice on one of the shows. It was American Dad, I think.

Yes. But he's a super nice guy. Super nice guy. He's like, he was laughing. He goes, we just smoked pot and come up with funny shit. It was like, that was his, like, he was like super easy to get along with. Like really friendly. I did the thing for them.

I said, thanks, man. Really nice to meet you. Like super friendly and nice. And I was like, wow, that wow that's cool to you know a lot of times you meet these super genius characters they're awkward and you're like i hope i don't make this guy annoyed you know here's some super genius guy that created some sitcom try to be nice to him i don't know you don't know what you're dealing with but like seth marlane, I've met a lot of those guys. Some of them were kind of odd. Like Paul Simmons, the first guy that ever, that was the guy who produced News Radio. The first guy who gave me my big break in Hollywood.

When I met, the first time I met him, I'm like, this guy is way too smart and way too weird. I don't want to piss him off because I want this job. I don't even know what to say to this dude. There's these certain super genius type characters, like showrunner type dudes. They're, like, notoriously, like, powerful figures. Like, who's that guy that, like, Charlie Sheen got into it with? That was the sitcom creator.

What is that dude's name? Chuck Lorre. Yes, that guy is the Mac Daddy of those shows. Like, no one has run more of those fucking gigantic smash super 100 million billion dollar hits than that guy he sounds like a handsome person well he's just a he just knows how to do those kind of shows you know like he's a guy who's figured out like a frequency he's figured out like yeah he's got him all shit really yeah two and a half man darman greg sybil grace under fire big bang theory mom franny's turn what the fuck what the fuck's He's got them all. Shit, really? Yeah, Two and a Half Men, Darman and Greg, Sybil, Grace Under Fire, Big Bang Theory, Mom.

Franny's turn. What the fuck is that? What the fuck's Franny? Since 1992? What? Well, he was learning. He was learning. Grace Under Fire was a big one.

There was a crazy rumor that I can't really talk about too much about Brett Butler from Grace Under Fire. Oh, it's got the cool guy on the top left. What's his face? Taylor Negron. He died recently. Oh, he did. That's's right he was a super nice guy

taylor negron came up to me after one of my sets one night and was like uh like one of the nicest compliments but also like really honest and and and curious like we had like a really cool conversation was like this is like the least Hollywood conversation between two men that do the same business in Hollywood ever he was like super honest about like subject matter you know we were talking about like um um like he he said that he's always wondered like what should he talk about on stage? And sometimes he's confined himself. He was saying that he wondered or worried whether or not the audience would appreciate the things that he thought were interesting. So instead he was writing and talking about stuff that he thought that they would think would be interesting

and that he was trying to change that. So we had this really interesting talk about it. But he died like really suddenly of like a weird disease i think what age what age not that old man oh no to look up taylor negron liver cancer he passed away january of last year how old was he 57 all right if i can hang in there 10 years we got that but you'll be sad 10 years from now dude 10 years is quick. This summer fucking came and went so fast. And it's not even over yet.

What the fuck happened this summer? It's August 11th. It's fucking flying. I refuse to believe that time is the same every day. I refuse to believe. I don't give a fuck about your watches. I don't care about your quartz movements. I don't care about your atomic clock.

I think it's moving movements. I don't care about your atomic clock. I think It's moving faster. I agree 100% Bet anything on it It makes zero sense. Let's all bet $5. Okay, since you say you'd bet everything on it I'm putting you putting you on the table fella. All right, what's the answer to the carpet? Tell us the answer Jamie times moving faster one of the things that I was I was watching this thing on on Planets and about the expansion of the universe and not only the expansion but the fact that it's accelerating

It's moving apart faster and faster, and if they didn't know this 20 years ago And I was listening to this guy speak about it And I remember thinking to myself like that about it, and I remember thinking to myself, like, that is so crazy. Like, that is a huge factor in our existence. That this universe is not just static, but it's moving away, and it's accelerating in some sort of strange way. And that they can measure it. When they measure it over 10 or 20 years, it's a measurable number that allows them to discern like okay we were positive that this thing is not just moving but accelerating and this is our

universe they just figured that out 20 years ago like we're just waking up it's like we're in a starship and we're flying through the universe we just came out of hyperspace and we're all like okay where are we going what is what's what is this okay does anybody have a manual? Yeah, here's a manual. We're going to go look through the shit that the old people wrote down. We literally are exactly the same thing. We get taught by people who get taught by people who get taught by people who are basically monkeys.

You know? This is like a few chains away from us and dudes with sticks trying to kill giraffes and shit. There's not that many. If you go back in time, like, numbers, what do you get, like, 20, 30 times? And then you're in the caveman era? That shit is not that far ago, man. It's not that far ago. So we're, like, waking up in the middle of, like, this trip. This whole galaxy hurling through the universe, going a thousand miles an hour in a circle,

flying around a huge nuclear explosion a million times bigger than it. Just flying through the universe. And we're waking up. And we're going, what about gay marriage? Fuck that. Not on my watch, bro. Okay, okay, okay. What do you think about taxes?

Well, we need to revamp the entire tax system. We need the IRS. And you've got to wear your powdered wig. And we're, meanwhile, flying through infinity. And we're just realizing it. We're just like, oh, not only is the sun not the center of the universe, not only is the earth not the center of the universe, but this galaxy is just one of hundreds of billions. There's untold numbers.

Not only that, but inside each galaxy is a supermassive black hole That's one half of 1% of the mass of the entire galaxy And if you go through that there might be an unlimited number of universes How the planets are lined up right now we're getting some sweet pictures from Mars have you seen those yeah, dude that one You know what else I've seen mad about you But Chuck Laurie knocking it out of the park making making cash he's got a tube right to thailand there's a tube and he presses a green light and the hottest young prostitute you've ever seen in your life goes through that

this is not true that's charlie sheen i got confused charlie sheen would do that charlie sheen probably did that with his two and a half men money. He's almost out of money, supposedly. He's almost spent the last amount of money. That's not true. I heard it. I just read that he's like really hurting. Like he's cutting this money up from his ex-wife.

Like he used to give her so much money every night, he cut it all off. Oh, no. Yeah. I mean. Well, he's got HIV and he does a lot of drugs. Those are not good things to have together. I mean, like, everybody was on his side when that whole thing went down with that Chuck Lurie guy.

But that Chuck Lurie guy, he's like, he's real simple, man. Money is tight. I can't pay ridiculous child support. Well, that might be a TMZ headline, by the way. Rick Mueller, $55,000 a month. Wow, that's nice. Charlie had been raking in $613,000 a month just from his cut of two and a half men profits. Wow.

$613,000 a month. Ka-ching, bitch! He recently had to sell those rights for a lump sum of $26,750,000. He is suffering. That is a small pittance for a man of his esteem to live off. First of all, how dare they? How dare they only give him $26 million? He doesn't say what happened to the stash.

Charlie says he now averages $87,000 a month and last month got a relatively paltry $6,261. He says he now can't keep up because his monthly expenses total $105,000 and $25,000 for healthcare expenses not covered by any insurance. $25,000 a month for healthcare expenses. Is that what you call your drug dealer, sir? Oh, allegedly. Allegedly? Maybe he's just got a fucking Michael Jackson type dude putting him to sleep at night.

Just every... Listen, that Michael Jackson dude, that dude slipped. I ain't gonna slip, baby. I got your back. I'm gonna hold you. I'm gonna be with you. I'm gonna put you under. Every night.

Different shit. I got different shit. The shit that Michael Jackson's doctor used, it was a good idea in theory. Here's why it doesn't work in practice. It doesn't allow you to go to heavy REM sleep. My stuff does. Okay. What I'm going to do is I'm going to take you to the first, I'm going to drop you out of the alpha state into the beta state. And then you're like, okay, okay, okay, cool, cool. I'm Charlie Sheen. Look, I'd love to talk to you, but there's a fucking, uh, fucking bowling ball bag filled with Coke and five strippers in the other room. I gotta go to work. If you could guess a

number, how many people do you think are being put to sleep, not daily, but like semi-daily or weekly that way? Two! Two! Only two? Two a day. Like thousands of people? Hundreds of people? Need rear feed? No, like need heavy sedation by maybe a doctor or something like that.

There's a lot. I know several people that are really nice folks that need Ambien to go to bed. Me too. They're not drug addicts. They work jobs that are very stressful. They have very nice families. There's nothing wrong with them. They love that stuff.

Do you notice mostly women though? find that yeah really i i know it's just like every girl i know either is taking like over the counter like uh what's that stuff that's in uh uh good on it stuff new mood 5htp yeah no no the one that makes it trip trip to fan yeah like or they're taking that's supposed to make you relax yeah uh. But everyone, every girl I know has something to help her sleep almost, you know? Consider what you just said, first of all. Every girl I know. Girls are hanging around you. That's what that's what I tell them.

A lot of them are fucking crazy. You need this. And it ain't bad. It ain't bad to be crazy. We need everybody. It's like that song. It takes every kind of people. But sleeping issues.

Seems really big. Yeah, but you're dealing with a very biased study group. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah. Some people sleep like babies, bro. They can't wait to sleep. But no guys. Yeah.

I don't take it. I've never taken sleeping pills. Oh, I know guys. Yeah, that's weird. Well, you don't have like regular life jobs. Yeah, true. And I just pretty much go to sleep when I know i should go to sleep now yeah i know guys with a lot of serious obligations that oftentimes will work 10 to 12 hours a day all the time like i have a good buddy of mine he needs it he works 10 12 hours a day his own

business and he's uh always working and he's fucking exhausted and sometimes he's like uh what about the accounts and what about this and that? And he'll take an Ambien and pop off. I feel like now all I have to do is just eat and I'll fall asleep. I don't know what it means. Like last night I had chicken wings and I fell asleep within 20 minutes. It means you're a man child. Do you know about man childs,

Brian? I don't understand. These people, I guess they have jobs and they don't sleep. Whatever. I could sleep. I don't get it. Food does not give me energy. It just makes me sleepy.

Well, it does, but it also robs you of resources. It's really not a good idea to eat a lot of food before you go to bed because a lot of times your body starts digesting that food and it uses up resources, which you should go to bed. You shouldn't be hungry, but there should be some time between when you eat and when you go to bed. Allow your body to digest some food so that your body can adequately go into the many stages that it requires to really rebuild your system. I mean, if like I eat now, I'll fall asleep. Like I'll be like, I'm going to take a sleep. I'm just saying. Like it's not the smartest thing to do.

Like everybody gets sleepy after they eat a lot, saying. It's not the smartest thing to do. Everybody gets sleepy after they eat a lot, but it's really not the right thing to do. The right thing to do, especially if you eat anything heavy carbs. Bro science coming up. Strap in. Strap in for bro science. Allegedly. The spike in insulin that you get from taking in all those, if you eat like pizza you have like a whole pizza to yourself. It's like

you're late at night. You're like fuck it. I've ate a whole pizza. And we're all laughing and stoned and we all order five pizzas. That's not good. Like it might be good for those 20 minutes while you're eating that pizza. I'm saying if I have soup. If I just

have some light chicken soup I'll fall asleep. Why are you lying? You didn't have no soup. I promise you. Wendy's going to double-double you. I love soup. I do, too. Who doesn't love soup?

Soup is one of my favorites. If you don't love soup, lose my number, bro. It's great because my girlfriend is like a huge cooker, and so I just have to tell her what I want. It's called a chef. Yeah. Don't say cooker. A cooker is something you throw food in.

She's a crock pot. But she, like, I got this white bean soup that my mom used to make. It was like a Midwest trash type thing. It's like, you know, the one with the white beans. And it's a little thicker, like a chili, and has, like, bacon or ham in it. It's so good. My mom sent me her recipe, and she cooked a bunch of it. But I ate almost the whole thing of soup.

Yeah, my mom used to make split pea soup with ham. Yes. Goddamn, it was good. Split pea soup is not bad for you, unless you're a pig. Then it's really bad for you, because you're on the menu. You know, like split pea, it sounds like, oh, what a wonderful dish. It's organic. It's vegetable-based. Mmm, not, oh, what a wonderful dish. It's organic. It's vegetable based.

Not so much, bitch. There's actually a smoked out dead pig inside of that thing. You have to have the bone. If you do it correctly, you're supposed to cook it with the ham hock. I've been going around the internet. This piece of bacon with a nipple still attached to it.

Oh my god, that's not real. No, it is real. It is 100% real. It's my pork belly more about still well that's what bacon is well let me explain to you what bacon is because if you don't know because i didn't know until a couple years ago bacon is this part of the pig it's the bottom half of a pig this is one of the reasons why bacon doesn't really exist on wild boars. I've only shot one wild pig, and they don't have any bacon, man. They're out there hustling. They're a different animal.

It doesn't look the same either. I shot a pretty big one. It was pretty well fed. But their skin, their flesh is not pink or white. Like, you know, there's always pork, the other white meat. It's not supposed to be white. Like, if they're out there eating acorns and ground nesting birds and all the stuff that, like, they're not herbivores either.

Those things are omnivores. They eat fucking everything. There's a picture that I tweeted a few months back of a boar running away with a fawn in its mouth. Like a small deer in its mouth. And a lot of people were like, whoa, I did not know they eat babies. They'll eat a deer. Oh, they fucking eat your cat. They'll eat your dog. They'll eat everything.

And they'll eat you too, you fuck. And apparently every year someone falls into a pen with pigs on a farm and gets jacked. Look at this pig running off with his deer in its mouth. Wow. Yo, that's dark. Do you see that? Speaking of pigs and deer, do you see the cop shooting the deer video yet? Yeah, I did.

That's fucked up, man. I did. He shot it right in the head. It's so stupid. What? It's so stupid. And he, you know know it was really callous Yeah, I mean that was brutal. Well, I think

Yeah, it was really callous man. It's weird. I guess he had to do it though I think that's what they said they said you have to shoot it I think he asked someone what to do and I think they said put it down So I mean if you're gonna put it down the way he did it even though it looked crazy because he did it in front of everybody but the way he did it was the best way to do it honestly shooing here's the thing i mean i don't know what they're going to do with the body i would hope hope they give that meat to uh hunters for the hungry there's a program that's in america where hunters like say if you you come over here to experience like the Midwest of the United States like Iowa in

particular Kansas a lot of these areas are famous all across the world for having these gigantic white-tailed deer and it becomes a thing like white-tailed deer in the Midwest of the United States this is something I've only found out over the last few years obviously of me getting interested in hunting but white-tailed deer hunting like people hear about it from Scotland and they want to come over here people hear about it from China they want to come over here they want to experience what it's like to to hunt white-tailed deer in Iowa it becomes like this thing and sometimes people from other places that don't live in Iowa will those

they'll put in tags and they'll put in tags over and over and over and over and over and over and over and finally they get one and they can go there and they can experience what it's like and then they can't bring the meat back to China or Australia they can't they won't let you. If you try to fly with a dead deer from the United States and fly it in Australia, they'd be like, fuck you. Okay? Fuck you. You can't take a chance and go across a fucking ocean.

It's really funny. Because if you go from Nevada to Ohio, they're like, okay, what do you got in there? Oh, a shot of deer. Congratulations. But you can't fly across water. Oh, where are you going? Where are you going? You're going across water. It's very tricky. Even if you try to bring an animal

down from Canada, like into the United States. Well, I mean, I'm talking about a dead animal. You know, you're trying to bring a dead animal. So it's one of those things where these people donate money or they donate food. so if they come over here and they want to experience if they're a hunter from australia they want to experience what it's like to hunt in iowa they can donate money or in the sense of they can donate food rather to uh like a lot of hungry people like if you shoot a 200 pound white deer, that's going to feed, that's going to be more than probably in the neighborhood of 150 meals. That's amazing. You can give that away to all these people that need it, you know, if you're from some other place.

I thought I recognized this when I saw the video. Apparently, this video is from 2013. This is like two and a half years old. This is not a new thing. Exactly. See, we don't care because it's three years old. This is old shit. This is the one that's going around from yesterday. Yeah, I saw it. This says also that the deer was believed to be injured

and was going to harm motorists if they tried to shoo it away, which is why they didn't do that. Oh, it's probably hit by a car. It could have been hit by a car. It also just could be on the way out. I mean, that was a pretty big deer. It could be on the way out. It could have been shot by an arrow or a bullet.

Somebody could have wounded it. Did you see the deer and the bear video? What are you doing, Jamie? Quake champions? What are you trying to do, you fuck? Jamie tried to use subliminal messages on me. What Jamie tried to do just now is what they used to do in the old days with movies hungry eat popcorn Did you see this though? Have you seen this yet? Yes, Quake Champions debut gameplay trailer. Okay, let me wipe my hands dry

Breathe oh my god look at the graphics. Oh shit. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, this thing's so awesome. Holy shit Oh my god Oh my god, this looks fun. It looks- it doesn't. Wow.

Pure speed. Pure skill. Pure FPS. That's- you have to be a super dork to know what FPS is. Frames per second. That was an old Rocket Arena map that they were just playing on. That's what a dork I am. I know that map.

That last map. That was an old map that we used to always play on. I don't remember the map number. That was an old map. They definitely kept the feel and the look of the game, but updated the graphics. I really liked how they stayed true to the original formula. I hope they make it so you can't shut those graphics off.

This is why. And people get mad at me. Fuck bro. My fucking computer doesn't have good frames per second bro. The problem is you're not playing the same game as the person who's seeing everything. Like it's easier to play. Well I take that back. I support your decision to mute all the

graphics. But I think you're kind of missing part of the fun like when you play maybe not maybe I'm full shit Here's why I'm full shit. Here's why I'm definitely full of shit I don't give a fuck about those well it looks cool the first time you see it Right, but what do you really want to do you want to shoot that fucking dude? That's what I want to do if I shoot him in a perfectly muted environment where he's the only thing that I can aim at and everything else is like mauve. No, no, no.

Tan. Like, what's a white people tan? What would that be if you had a crayon? White people tan? Trumper? I don't know. Trump's not white. It's like an orange.

Garfield. People would get super mad if you asked them for a snow cone with nothing in it, and they gave them something the color of Trump. Gross. Like old mayonnaise. Vachetta leather color. Hmm. Vachetta leather.

I don't know. Khaki? Jamie hit his head today. Jamie definitely hit his head today. Jamie's so weird. Several times. He's not making any sense. He's been on TMZ too long, did it?

Jokes, folks. No bullying. Relax. Everybody relax. Relax. Don't do it. What if you have a computer, though, that's so powerful that it doesn't matter if you have the graphics on or not? The textures, fuck the textures.

You can do it. No, it doesn't change anything. Yeah, but here's the thing. But it's not about that. It used to be about some people used to like to run it. There's two things going on. One, some people like to run it with the graphics muted because their

video card can't handle the frames per second required to run it at high resolution with high frame rates. The higher frame rates make things more smooth. So if you get, they say the human eye can only see 30 frame rates a second. They need to update that. I know for a fact they need to update that

because there's, or at least maybe it doesn't apply, I should say, to video games because there's something that happens in video games when it goes from 30 frames per second to 120 frames per second plus, it becomes far smoother. And when it's smoother, there's less calculation as far as where that person is at any given time. Because even though your mind can't really say, oh, I see where there's a bunch of frames that are rolling by,

and that's giving me this illusion of movement and it's all being calculated by a cpu your brain doesn't really totally get that but there's some amount of data that's getting through when something's kind of clunky there's some amount of data that's getting through that oh this is not i just got to figure out where that thing's going to be but this that thing is it's it's all like hickey it's a hiccupy thing when it gets to 120 frames per second it's smooth it's butter then it starts looking like okay this is a cartoon now i'm watching a cartoon now cartoon smooth right a cartoon doesn't have any of that herky jerky stuff to it and this is like a super smooth cartoon like some of the video games you play like unreal tournament remember

unreal tournament when you get it to high resolutions and you hear the screams of the players and see the fucking laser beams shooting through the air. It's crazy, right? It's crazy. And at high frames per second, it's very smooth. It's really fun and interesting to watch. And when that happens, your mind doesn't have to calculate

as much because it's more predictable. It's smoother. It's more pleasing to the eyes. but you're still dealing with all those textures so you're calculating whether you like it or not or even know it or not every time you pass by some gothic stone wall and there's moss on it it's amazing looking your mind either has to deny the existence of that or it has to calculate that into what its model of the world is so that's extra it's extra processing power it's unnecessary so if the walls were all like the best players what they would do

is they would turn all the textures off so they would only have this like weird like Tron world like with Tron if Tron blew a fuse and you're in this strange virtual environment where all the walls are flat and matte white yeah you know yeah it's it's something that I used to have to do just to play that game on like my old yeah my old computer uh but I think nowadays though I think for the most part like a game like this should probably run pretty perfectly on almost any computer See this this game right here has the shadows on but it has the textures off Find one that has the shadows off too because that happens to some crazy fuckers

And what might not be in quake 3 which I think that it or that's quick live But in the older games guys had gotten it down to almost nothing. There was no shadow. There was no nothing. Everything was like this weird artificial environment. If you just write textures off, just like Quake 2. Write Quake 2. Shadows off and textures off in Quake 2.

It might be a hack, really. It might not even necessarily be something that... No, that was in the original settings. I remember it. Was it? Yeah. Because it was all based on your graphics card. A lot of graphics cards couldn't handle shadows and stuff like that. Yeah, but also in competition, dudes figured out pretty early on that it'd be easier to hit people

if they were the only things you were looking at. Yeah, if I had to play competitively, I'd definitely shut everything off. Yeah. Because it'd make you better. Cheating. It's just like cutting weight. It's like cutting weight for video games. Did you had to play like competitively, I definitely shut everything off. Yeah, because it'd make you better Cheating it's just like cutting weight. It's like cutting weight for video games Did you used to play the old unreal maps like the one in the bathroom? We were sitting on top of the yeah I played that one miss that yeah Unreal is cool. It was cool. It was like fans of quake made an awesome game. That's what it was like, you know and plug it was cool because

didn't we get to see Unreal Tournament before it even came out? Yeah, we went to the studio. I think it was Unreal. Was it Unreal? It was one of the Unreal releases. I'm trying to remember which one. That was the first time we met Cliffy. Cliffy's so normal.

He's great. I love Cliffy. You wouldn't think he'd be like some super genius like video game creator he seems like such a normal dude

yeah totally you know his game by the way one of his games just hit iTunes called Shadow Complex it's one of my favorite games but now you can

it's a phone game it's a computer game you get on Mac and I think you could do it on a phone too I just saw it the other day I'm not sure. What is it? It's a like a side-scroller like old-school kind of like Where you're figuring out like puzzles and playing like shooting game. Mmm

You know, there's a game that's out that I just finished the other day It's one of the best video games I've ever played in my life. Is this it right here? That's Shadow Complex Complex Remastered yeah, oh, this is Cleffy's new game That's one of his games that came out a couple years ago when after he left I believe he left epic dude I am so lucky. I'm not a teenager today. Look at this bullets are going underwater. I would never get anything done I would get fucking nothing done. I would have never got involved in martial arts Maybe I would have but I might not have I might have just done

this god damn I might have had more fun I've been good at twitch then maybe it just seems so fucking compelling when you watch these video games today they're so goddamn compelling there's this new game that I just finished that you can get for like 20 bucks right now it's inside right but it's it's one of the best experiences of a video game I've ever had in my life with graphics it's it's like a puzzle kind of game it's a game where you try to figure shit out but the ending and the feel of the game this is it it's the feel the game it's some of the probably probably one of the best video games I've ever experienced in my life.

And it's really hard. Strong words, Brian Redbeck. And it was super cool. I just played it, too. Oh, yeah? Wow, whoa, whoa. It doesn't tell you how to play. There's no real, it's just moving and jumping, really.

You don't really need to, there's no real strange controls. Should we show? Oh, you just pulled that thing off the fucking movie. Oh, shit. Saving the spoilers for anything that's in the game. jumping really you don't really need to there's no real strange controls but should we show it's not that long to play you get through in a couple hours if you're figuring it out but if it'll take you longer if you get stuck the ending is one of the most beautiful pieces or masterpieces of video game i've ever seen in my life wow beautiful creepy. This is cool to watch. Yeah, it's really fun to watch. Look at the shadows. My God. And this isn't even that crazy of graphics.

It's just done right. Dude. It's a good feeling. Duncan Trussell has the Oculus Rift, and he also has the Vive, the HTC Vive. And he showed me this archery game the other day on the HTC Vive, and I'm like, I don't think I can have this in my house. Yeah, you can. No. No, I don't think I can have this in my house. So you should keep it in the studio here. I don't think I can have it anywhere. I would have a

real problem. I played that fucking archery game until my arms were shaking. You're at the top of a castle and these like things are like charging at you and you're shooting at them from the top of the castle. It's super addictive. Do you have a game called Quiver?

I just pulled this up when I was looking for Archery on the Vive. This looks like a... He's got a gang of games, but this isn't the one that I played. Or at least it's not the scene that I played. There's a lot of games, but not good games. Look at the graphics. This looks like Nintendo 64. Oh, no. The graphics are not the best.

But seriously, man, you're not going to give a fuck when you're wearing those goddamn HTC Vive goggles. It is the coolest shit in the world. You should get together with Duncan, go to his house, do his podcast, and play the Vive before you do it. You're going to be blown away. I have the cheap $30 one that you can buy where you put your Samsung phone in. Yeah, don't do that.

This is the one I played. This is the one I played. Yeah. These motherfuckers just VR archery. You got to shoot at these balloons. How accurate? It's fucking real accurate. That's what's crazy.

Like you just got to get a feel of which way it's going and how fast it's going. See, like it has a certain amount of frames per second. Feet per second, feet per second rather, so the arrow, you have to kind of lead them. Like if you know they're jumping, you have to figure out where they're going to be when the arrow's getting there. You know, if they're real close, it's easy.

Like right there, bam, it's easy, he's right there. But if they're moving, they're moving left or right, you kind of get a judgment. See how this guy's doing that? He's figuring it out, he's leading them, they're moving, bam, they're running right. You kind of get a judgment. See how this guy's doing that? He's figuring it out. He's leading them. They're moving. Bam.

They're running right into the arrows. That's great. That's what I figured out how to do after a while. And that gets super addictive because it's really rewarding. Because first of all, you don't feel guilty at all because they're not even people. They're just total cartoon silhouettes with Viking helmets on and shields. So you don't feel bad. What happened here?

I don't know. Same video. Is that the same thing? Is that what happens to the game when you get later? viking helmets on and shields so you don't feel bad what happened here i don't know same same video is that the same thing is that what happens later later yeah they give you a gun that's hilarious they're like you're so good you realize that it's stupid to have a bow and arrow here we'll give you a laser oh they give you a laser raider later later later laser raider uh the olympics right now are in this uh for for Samsung devices they're in it yeah you can watch the Olympics in VR like look around oh wow did you change or did you try it the porn though the no I did not the porn is what's going to Duncan was too insistent that I do it and I got nervous I got

fucked out of there relax son yeah make me nervous you don't want to have a goggle dude i'm telling you you gotta you gotta watch the porn man i'll sit over here you won't even see me he wanted to look at your lips when you were watching you probably snapchatted the whole thing while you're playing anyways. Did... The porn though really is something that changes everything. Like, watching porn and that really, like, you take it off and you're like, oh no, I felt closer

to the girl than I thought I would. Like, that's going to save porn if this does catch on. Well, maybe, because it'll make it to, if they can monetize the HTC and the Oculus to the point where they can lock down the format, like the way they have the iPhone locked down. Like, you can't add anything to the App Store unless Apple gives you approval. If they can control it in that sort of same way, I'm not saying that's the best thing for everybody, because I kind of like the idea of open source things.

One of the, I use a Mac Mac and I use it for convenience and because I'm too busy I got a time to fuck with some window shit but part of me likes the fact that Windows is open and I've heard that argument before like I've had conversations with people before they're like look anybody could write shit for Windows you know it's it's like you can make products that work on Windows you can make your own laptops. You can put together your own desktops. It's a much more open sort of a platform than Mac is because Mac is the software developer and the hardware developer. The good thing about that is everything works pretty fucking good.

Like you get a laptop from Apple, you're pretty fucking sure it's going to work awesome. Except mine died this week. What happened? It just stopped working. We've had every fucking computer dies. Yeah, I know. Windows even, right? They all die.

What's my point? My point is, I don't have a point. If I had a point, it would be that taking it and monetizing the applications that you would use for the HTC Vive or Oculus only makes sense. I think what we're going to see, though, is especially when the Xbox and the PlayStation release their VR counterpoints, I think that's when it's really going to become an everyday thing. And I think it's going to hurt these kind of guys, like the HTCs and the Oculus people a lot,

because I think it's going to be like Computer games and then oh hey, this is an xbox you know That kind of killed PC gaming a lot in a lot of a lot of ways I think there's going to be a lot of copyright lawsuits for sure because they're going to have to figure out who? Who invented the critical aspects for like truly? Immersive virtual reality like what critical aspects are there? Have they identified them? Who invented those? Because those are huge. You know, if one guy figured out a way to make this the frame rates incredibly smooth, so there's no, there's no ability to discern when you're moving left or right, whether you're moving fast or slow. If one guy wrote some sort of a

program or figured out something, I would imagine I'm not a lawyer, obviously, but I would imagine there'd be some sort of a case for that. Like all these trolls, patent trolls that Apple gets hit with all the time. Like I would imagine that that's going to be crazy when it comes to this stuff. Yeah. Unless it's already been licensed out, you know, it could be just some old guy going, yeah, you give me $2 million a year. you're good. You know? Like, you don't know. You know? You might know. Brian's idea of commerce is an episode or a fucking one of the Back to the Future movies where, like, he pulls up in a DeLorean and he needs some plutonium.

This guy just happens to have it. But, yeah, I think, though, I think next year is when Xbox is releasing theirs. I think PlayStation is coming out this year maybe. I don't know. Well, I don't think you can patent virtual reality. I mean, Lawnmower Man was, what was that, 1992? What year was Lawnmower Man? Find that out.

Let's guess. I would guess 1994. 94. 95? I say 92. 92? Wow! March 6, 1992. By the way? I say 92. 92? Wow! March 6, 1992.

By the way, complete total guess. I had no idea I was right. Okay, but Total Recall is also a virtual reality movie, right? I should rewatch it. No, Running Man. Oh, that's terrible. Horrible. That did not last.

This is a raper of your childhood. I'm telling you, people were stupid as fuck back when we were kids. We didn't realize how dumb we were until we watched our old movies. What was it? It was 1990 for Total Recall. 1990? Interesting. Even earlier.

So those are virtual reality movies. So it's not like virtual reality. It's like some thing that someone invented. It's really like a hope and a dream. It's an oasis in a desert. It's like everybody who lives a shit bag life is hoping there's got to be some way that i can be superman total recall wasn't technically virtual reality it was false memories being implanted in your brain stranger that's why

he was being living now yeah stranger days that's true it's but it's kind of that reality is kind of virtual right it's creating an artificial memory. It's kind of virtual. Right. I understand. It's creating an artificial memory. No, you're totally right. It was an artificial memory movie. Yeah, Strange Days was a virtual reality movie. I love that movie.

But there's been a few others, right? There's been a few others. But what do you think was the big one? What's the biggest one? Virtual reality movie? Yeah. Matrix? Matrix, yeah. Yeah, of course, right? I didn't even didn't think of that yeah that's the biggest so like I don't think anybody could come

along and say they invented virtual reality like that's sort of like a it's like a horn blowing in the distance that we all knew was coming and it's not even it like if you even if you look at video games you can say video games are virtual reality just very bad versions of them. You know, like Super Mario Brothers. That's a virtual reality of a plumber. Mm-hmm. What is this?

Virtual reality is coming to your movie theater near you? Extends. I've heard a lot of people talk about this as a pretty cool movie. I don't think I've ever seen it, though. I've never heard of that. It came out in 1999. I think Jude Law is in it. That's the name of a boner pill.

Jennifer Jason Leigh. I don't know. I can't speak on it but I've heard a lot of people say that it was like an under the radar kind of good movie it came out in 1999 which is the same year

The Matrix came out which is probably why no one heard about it huh is it supposed to be good wow that's uh three and a half stars is that three and a quarter stars

or three and a half Rotten Tomatoes 71 fucking Rotten Tomatoes Star Search we have uncovered an empire of lies. Maybe the corporation realizes the benefit is in telling the truth. The way to make the money is not to create bad reviews or fake reviews.

reviews or fake reviews. The money is in being brutally honest and reaping the rewards of people coming to read these really cunty reviews. That's why I get my news and information from only hashtags nowadays. Oh, that's a good move.

Do you do that? Like, every time there's a helicopter in Burbank, I'm like, hashtag Burbank. I'm like, what's going on? This is what I do every morning when I wake up. I go, hashtag apocalypse. I see what's the most recent post, and then I go back to sleep. Yeah. I go outside and shoot my rubber elk. It's more fast and accurate, though.

It's usually one guy going, dude, there's a helicopter down on the street. Well, there's definitely some shit going down in these, like, if you follow, follow like social media news feeds like people that are on the scene they're talking about some cop shooting some kid or something like that i mean that's one of the best ways to get some data the question is the veracity of the data like whether or not it's god damn i sound like a professor i need to apply for a job somewhere teaching the veracity of the data must come into question the biases of the person did you go to their twitter page what are they into how many noam chomsky books have they read are you sure they're right right you never know but you can find out some shit's going down there's

like uh there was some video of the um dallas shootout between the guy and the cops those are the former military guy who killed all those fucking cops whoo that's a tough video to watch man there's this one scene i think it was him that did it or someone else who shot someone else i don't know here's all i saw a person was running down the street and a person in this this these two people involved in a gunfight and one guy shot behind the guy and hit the wall behind them and then use that as a distraction to run in front of him and shoot him while he's laying down. I was like,

wow. I was like, that guy has done this before. Video games. Yeah. I hate this. I hate to say it, but it really is video games guys Well in this case If it's the same guy who killed all those people It's a guy who was in war

In the first place so he actually played the ultimate Video game He's playing actual war But these school shootings and stuff man Do you remember that Call of Duty when you walk into the airport And you just mow down? People like you just pretty much go into LAX with a machine gun you just start spraying everybody that alone I remember even playing it going. I Can't believe my eyes and brain are seeing this right now

And I've played so many video games before that I've gone outside and forgot that I'm not in that video game still This is crazy, so they gunned down all the people yeah oh shit and you're just walking through the airport doing this you're finding people hiding in stores and shit what the fuck yeah oh my god this is so not good for your brain you saw that Trump supporter suction cup Michael or swimmer guy. See, I'm all in favor of video games. And I don't even have a problem with quake-like violence. But this is fucked up because this is murder.

You're just running around assassinating average moms and dads and brothers and sisters. Yeah. Like this is a video game where you're deriving pleasure from gunning people down. Like, why would you... And this is available to buy at Target. It is? Yeah, this is just Call of Duty, like, two years ago.

And look at this guy's walking through the fucking Starbucks. Yeah, the bookstore. So is this a choice he's making to just gun down civilians? Yeah, so you don't have to do this in the game. It'll still go through. Everyone else will shoot for you instead, basically.

So you can just decide to be a killer. And guess what you're going to do, Joe? You are actually going to not, you're going to actually shoot people. Because I've played this and I'm like, this is horrible, why am I doing this? And I would like, even like people hiding, please no!

And I'm like, I'll talk to them. I'm like, yeah? You're hiding, boy? And then you'd shoot them? Yeah. Oh my god. And like Grand Theft Auto, I do the same shit, man. It's ridiculous.

It's like, why am I doing this? In Grand Theft Auto, it's a lot more fucked up. I mean, it started with the hooker giving a blowjob and then killing her when Grand Theft Auto first came out. Do you have to kill her? No, no, you should just give her money, let her go about her way and thank her. Some people kill her? Oh, I kill them every time, get my money back.

If you kill the hooker, you get your money back? Yeah, and if she has any extra money. Oh my God, dude, that's so crazy. But like, like in Grand Theft Auto, I don't even play the missions. I'll just go to the gun store, get as much shit as I possibly can. And I have this one part where I hide on this second floor of this house. And I pretty much, or the comedy store, hang out at the comedy store. And I pretty much just put down grenades and bombs and blow up until there's so many cars.

It's just a pile of meat on Sunset Boulevard. And it's great. Fun. Yeah, but it is fucked up that you could be a monster. Yeah. And it's great. Fun. Yeah, but that's... It is fucked up that you could be a monster. Yeah. And with no consequences.

I guess in my head I just have to say they're all rapists or something. But here's the problem. At what point in time is this going to become way more disturbing because it's going to be virtual?

This is not virtual yet. It's just you're looking at a screen. Have you seen the virtual version of this yet? But you're very aware that it's not real right like at what point in time are you going to be not aware that it's not real you're gonna throw a grenade at this guy really i tell you yeah oh yeah i strapped like sticky bombs onto people but uh it's gotten to the point where i used to play games uh not this game but city of heroes is like dorky game but i played it straight for a month like every single hour of the day a long time ago oh shit he chose a broken bottle yeah oh jesus christ you should see what i do in the strip club i catch it on fire and i just burn strippers man i put my bike in the front door so they can't escape it's great this is crazy man

oh my god he just stabbed like this is so fucked up he's stabbing him in the ass with a broken bottle oh jesus christ look at this right in his butthole look his butthole's bleeding this is so fucked up yeah you know what man tipper gore was right. She saw the future. She was trying to stop rap lyrics And this is this is ultimately what was down the road Al Gore's wife a lot of people don't remember that Al Gore's wife in the 1980s went on a crusade against violent music and violent lyrics in rap and She was she was hated It's really interesting and she just shut the up

when he was running for president wait wasn't she against two live crew yeah she was she was against a bunch of them i think it was iced tea had an issue with her let's get that naked and tonight that was one of his jams that That was a joint, a nice iced tea joint. She used, I think, Purple Rain, which is what she used to lead, that ended up with the parental advisory sticker. She used that as her example. It might have been that or something else I'm reading. Sorry, I lost it.

I tell you, we've got gotta take Jamie right to a doctor Whatever doctor you're going to You gotta take Jamie to that doctor Maybe it's working with me gives you head injuries Prince gave us parental guidance What if we find that out You're allergic to me You have like some black mold in your asshole

Or something You're just allergic to my smell Yo dude here's some crazy shit Did you know that like If someone just allergic to my smell yo dude I was here's some some crazy shit did you know that like if someone's allergic to horses they can't even ride in a carriage behind a horse oh really yeah and I was thinking of this you know women some women are literally allergic to their man's cum. Like, the guy shoots loads on them, they get rashes all over their body. Like, what? Like, it burns!

Like, literally some demonic shit, man. Like, a guy shoots a load on you, and, like, he carves his name, takes his load, and writes it with his finger, and just leaves it there to dry, and you have the mark of the demon on your stomach. Is that because of food? Alergies? That maybe that's inside the cum maybe? Maybe she's allergic to peanuts and he just eats nonstop peanuts. That is a very good question.

It's probably something like that. It could be. I wonder if there's a reason. Jamie, research that. Find out what makes cum allergenic and uh feel free to deduct any research from your taxes i know like some some girls like the ph balance just it's totally different from you or whatever and they break out or they swall this is saying she was dosed with diagnosed with human seminal plasma hypersensitivity, an allergy to semen. The problem with guessing that is we don't know how many different people came on her. And whether or not it all had the same effect.

And what's the P-ratio? We need to do a double-blind, placebo-controlled, not gang bang, but like, what would it be if a bunch of dudes just jerked off on a girl? Circle jerk. There's a little pee and cum, right? Circle jerk involves a cracker, though, no? Like an official circle jerk? That's the sloppy biscuit that Bert was telling us about.

See, I always thought that a circle jerk involved just a bunch of dudes jerking off together, which was weird enough. Then I heard that the last guy to come has to eat the cracker. I went, what kind of a fucking world are we inventing here? Why do you think Bert's so fat from all those crackers? There's cum crackers.

No, he's fat from all the booze to forget the cum cracker. The cum cracker, I mean, unless it has a billion calories in it, it's a long time ago. I heard Tom's been working out, drinking a lot of water. He's looking healthy. So you're on Bert is fat?

You're on Team Bert is fat versus Team Tom is fat? I'm going against my own moms. I heard Tom's the water champ. Yeah, Tom is the water champ. Christina never drinks water. They don't drink water? Do you know they take a shower together all the time and Tom pees on her? What?

Would you be saying this on the internet? They talked about it, I think. I would do that, too, if I was married a comedian did you they told a crazy story I never heard Joey Diaz told about on there maybe it was on their show that he about him shit in the shower and he used to like Jesus Christ push it through throw it throw it in the toilet and shit Joey Diaz did that I believe that he'd shit on his own wall a couple years ago to stop because he got caught by his wife Yeah, caught Joey Diaz is a straight savage Bluebelt he's a savage. Yeah, he got his blue belt in jiu-jitsu legitimate blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, he's been doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu for

I believe Four or five years now. Yeah, Joey's been like really into it. It's helped him I don't wanna get that wrong So if I got that number wrong, but if I guessed it, I think it would be four or five years now. Damn. Joey's been like really into it. It's helped him. I don't want to get that wrong. So if I got that number wrong, but if I guessed it, I think it would be four or five years, but he really loves it. He loves it for fitness,

for, for health. You know, he's like super humble about it, but he does it all the time. I bet you every single person he goes against taps out. He's going to have his black belt in like two months. It's like the smell,

the smell the smell What are you saying smells now think about these things before you say remember his joke about climbing up the stairs you'll see a Martian He's to this joke about calling you want to see UFOs Walk behind me when I'm farting up a flight of stairs. He'll see you'll see Martians up a flight of stairs. You'll see Martians. He has no tolerance for nonsense. If Eddie Bravo starts talking about

UFOs or anything like crazy crypto fucking zoology type shit or whatever Eddie's into recently, Joey will fucking get up and leave the room. Joe Rogan, I don't want to listen to your fucking UFO talk, okay? I know you had that show With Duncan, you went looking for Bigfoot

Leave him in the fucking forest Okay, we're here eating like gentlemen He used to call Duncan Satanic That Satan worshipper Do you remember, there's a fucking Remember when Anton LaVey Or Stanton LaVey, whichever one it was

The young guy, got married And Duncan performed at his wedding. Dancing. And he invited a bunch of us to go to his wedding. So we went to his wedding and Duncan was involved with this satanic, fake, satanic wedding. And Dane Foley's ex-wife was there too.

Yeah. And satanic Duncan. Yeah, because he had this routine that he used to do. I don't know if he still does it anymore. That's his sim talking on his phone. Give me some volume. You can play this full screen too. It's Joey.

Duncan Trussell. We're going to have a little talky when I sit down. What's this fucking devil shit I'm hearing? Everybody's telling me you have a little talky when I sit down what's this fuck what's this fucking devil shit I'm hearing everybody's telling me you have a worshipper Duncan we Duncan we can't have that we can't have that you understand me you're a comedian no more this devil shit you can people are scared I'm glad I got it from four different people not even Joe's people I got from one of Joe's friends but everybody everybody else at the store is saying the devil. You're walking around with a fucking crucifix on your head and shit.

This is getting... That you put a little fucking tattoo on your skull with 666 that you're calling yourself. Duncan, this is getting... Duncan, we can't have this no more. You understand me? If we have to kill a little homo, we'll kill him. No homo. We can't have this. You're a Catholic. Were you raised Catholic?

What were you raised? Alright, then be fucking proud. No more of this devil shit. We can't have this. You're scaring people. These people are white people. You're scaring them, bro. They want to call the authorities and shit. You know what I'm saying?

Please, cut this. I heard uh what's his name by the way the guy who does the creepy show wants to call the cops this is at the atlanta punchline the old bro he's called i got four people called the house and left messages they're worried about duncan trussell this has to end duncan this ain't a game duncan they take kids like you they you, and they put the Satan cross up your ass. You know what I'm saying? You can't come back from that. You can't recover from that. I'm not fucking laughing here.

I'm going to assure you that I have not succeeded. Okay. And I remember going when at that time of that period of time, like me and Duncan, I would always go to like his friend's house, that guy, and you'd be in these houses. And it was like people that believed in Satan, maybe not seriously or anything but i remember going wow duncan is in some deep shit but to duncan was always i think

a joke but it was we were hanging out with really intense tense people you know like yeah super intense yeah yeah well duncan's into intense humans and intense ideas. And for a while, he was, like, really attracted to this idea, not of Satanism in that Satan is an actual being and that the devil is real and that you're praying to the devil, but Satanism in that these people are, like, essentially hedonists. They were just, like, seeking pleasure and trying to have as much fun as they could. But they were also allowing other people to do it, too. So he was, like, redefining what Satanism is.

And I'm like, well, if that's, okay, that's the problem with all ideologies. Like you're locked into, if you want to call it Satanism and it's all, hey man, just be free. Just have a good time. And you know, just fuck and do whatever feels good. Terrible Duncan impression. But there's a big difference between that in and of itself, which is an awesome idea, right?

Like everybody agrees. Like you should, yeah, have fun, man. We're only here for a little bit of time. If you like getting your toes sucked, fucking get your toes sucked. Who cares, right? But there is a big fucking difference between that and something that's connected to a demon. It's connected to a fallen angel who became a devil, who lives in a smoldering inferno in the middle of the earth.

And if he gets a hold of you and you don't listen to God, you will burn to the end of time. What? What are you, retarded? Why does it have to be connected to that? Why is good feeling and having a good time and pleasure and being a hoebag? If that's what you're into, if you're a girl, you like wearing dental floss up your ass and going out to bars and sucking three dicks,

who cares? All right? Why does it have to be connected to the devil? Because that's a sin. All those are sins, dude. Enough, Brian Redband. I forsake thee. Enough.

Enough with these fucking sins. One last little thing I want to show you. Have you seen this new game? Maybe or may not have. It's called No Man's Sky. Whoa. So what's really interesting about it is, as far as I understand, I've been trying to figure it out.

It's an unexplored space. And there's something like 10 billion planets that are being populated in this multiplayer universe. And as a player, what you're supposed to do is go and explore and find species and planets. Hold on. Did you say 10 billion planets? Yeah, and the first 24 hours or two days this was up, they've already named more species in this game than there are on Earth. It's all computer generated.

So when you play the game, it automatically generates a planet. So it's just random shit. Yeah, I get that, but what the fuck? Say that again? There's more species in this game in how many days? I'll look up that article that said it. It's more than... But, you know,

the reviews of this game is pretty boring. Oh my god. It's just a little slower of a game. It's not like a first-person shooter. It's not that typical kind of game, but it's supposedly a truly open universe, and the game just came out this week. A lot of people have been really anticipating it for the last couple months. So is this game, it says truly open universe.

So is this game constantly inventing itself on the fly? Yeah. Yes. Oh my god. Sort of like real space. Dude, do you have any idea what it's going to be like when that's on the HTC Vive and we're not in 2016, but when they're in 2067?

There you go. We're living in another world, man. For instance, in one night, we hit 10 million species discovered in MMS. That's more than has been discovered on Earth. What is going on? It is a testament to how amazing our network coders are that discoveries are still working at all.

Wow. This is yesterday. We're already in a simulation, Joe. It is for them. You know, it's like like that's a simulation i mean it's not the best one but it's like taking a motorola star tack if someone says do you have a cell phone you're like yes i do and you pull out a motorola star tack like that's not a fucking cell phone but it is it's just not a good one like are we already in the simulation yeah yeah it's already happened

it's just not good yet you kind of know it's there. But it's definitely a simulation. And it's getting way weirder. It's getting way weirder. I feel like when I pay attention to the news and I pay attention to the Internet and I just, like, step back and look at this crazy Trump Clinton race. And I look at this, this bizarre,

strange world that we find ourselves sort of like waking up in. I can only imagine how fucking weird it's going to be in a decade. I can only imagine. We should really consider getting water and shelter and figuring out how to get solar power. This could really fall apart. That guy in Virginia, they took away his land. What guy?

I think it was Virginia. They took away his land because he was off the grid. He did everything off the grid, so he was not paying any city utility at all. And they didn't like it, so they just took his land away from him. Which guy is this? If you Google it, it's on the news. Virginia homeowner fighting to keep property from being taken away by eminent domain. Yeah, I think that's it.

Eminent domain is different. That's when a company... That's from February. That's old shit, bro. Just too new. Eminent Domain is scary. Because Eminent Domain is like if they're trying to put a highway through something, they could just buy your house.

You have to move. Just put... You know, like you see those houses that are like on the side of the 405? They're doomed. They're doomed. They're going to spread that bitch. You can't keep all these fucking people together. It's just not working.

There's too many of us. Unless everybody gets automatic cars, there's no more accidents. And even then, we're going to realize what a bottleneck just the sheer volume of humans there are. I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen. Even China just released their first new bus that cars can go underneath the bus. I don't know if you've seen that, where it's like it looks like this. And then in the middle looks like you're going through a bridge or a tunnel. So cars can drive through it.

And the top part is the bus part. And so things like that. See, there it is. Yeah, I saw that. It's like a train more than a bus, right? Because it's on tracks. Yeah. But things like that, I think think are going to improve a lot I mean imagine if that was just a non or like continuous

Many retards gonna be playing Pokemon slam into your fucking train knock it over on a traffic, right? Yeah that's we got a problem is when you have that and Retard things that are like regular cars that are driving the same road together if if you go under someone, you're almost like in contact with them. So if you get in an accident while you're under there, guys will change lanes while they're underneath those buses, and they'll collide into each other, and they'll fucking spin the bus out of control. It'll go off the rails.

It'll crash into other people. The Pope will die in a horrible crash on the 405 in Los Angeles. The best Pope we've ever had was lost to this ridiculous policy of public transportation. Los Angeles has always been an individual transportation city. People love their cars. They love to be by themselves.

I'm looking at this article I found out this might not even be real. Like this thing obviously exists. It's a real thing. But this exact one they showed last week or whenever this came out was the same, whatever, train, bus, you want to call it,

that showed in a test that they used six years before this. And it was only on, like, a 300-meter piece of land. And they're even, now this says, like, if this project is even feasible or if it's even real. They were just road testing it.

I read it as if they're just, like, they're just seeing if this would work like testing huh well it makes sense yeah i mean it makes sense to have something like that but if people can judge whether or not they if like if something's on it like if it's a car it's one thing if a guy's hitting the brakes and turning the wheel and all that stuff it's one thing or if a guy's hitting the brakes and turning the wheel and all that stuff, it's one thing. Or if a bus, same kind of thing. But as soon as people interact with trains, I have a problem with that. Because one of them is super steady and static or moves at the same sort of speeds. And it doesn't vary that much. It doesn't hit the brakes and do a bunch of things that people's cars do.

And the other one does. So the one that does, the one that's real mobile, the person the person driven car is going to figure out how to time that train they're going to take some chances if they're all running through the same road together and they're cutting each other off and yeah it's going to be some assholes it doesn't seem like it's going to work as good people going to text they're going to slam into that thing it's just weird you can't have a train and a car in the same place it seems about like as real as hyperloop maybe is right now which yeah well that's sort of real at least everything that is real now it was a whisper at one time so a hyperloop is real in the sense that

no one's ridden on it yet but that is that's moving there's there's movement in that direction there's there's concepts there's engineers working there's. There's concepts. There's engineers working. There's design. There's all sorts of different people involved in technology. They're being consulted. They're trying to figure out how to make that actually come to light. So that is real. It's in the embryonic stages.

That fucking thing's going to happen, man. We're going to be able to jet across the whole country in like an hour. You know what that's going to feel like, dude? I'm going to happen, man. We're going to be able to jet across the whole country in like an hour. You know what that's going to feel like, dude? I'm going to shit my pants. Shit my pants. We're going to go on. Regular plane goes what? 500 miles an hour?

Sure. Okay, let's go 2,000 miles an hour. Wow. So you get to the other side of the country in an hour and a half. And you just pin to your seat. Try to get up to go to the bathroom. It's like, good luck. A deer crosses it and it derails.

Boom. You fly in the air. If a deer crosses it, the front end of it is built like a sword. Yeah. Just slices through the deer. Right. That's what they should have. They should have, like, the front of the thing should be like

Like you know those things that you when you cut an onion you drop it down like slice or like an egg Like a hard-boiled egg, you know those things slice egg slicer. That's what the front of the train should be It should just be razor sharp swords that if you are so retarded you want to step out Or you want to push your cow in front of the train just to make a youtube video it just gets exploded instantaneously just gets sliced through and turned to mush they pretty much have that already in the design when it's usually like a v or illuminati triangle you know yeah which brings us back to that cop shooting that deer if that deer got eaten by a bunch of hungry people i thought you were gonna say there was much of a problem you're gonna say the deers and the illuminati that deer is in the illuminati the deer is a zionist the deer what the deer wants to do is stop the white christian from prophylating

that's why deer exist in mostly primarily white christian towns go to to Brooklyn. Find yourself a deer. Good luck. Good luck. Go by Cantor's Deli in Los Angeles and find yourself a deer. Good luck. Where you find Jews, you do not find deer. But where you find good Christian folk,

the Jews have made sure the deer grow and take over and suicide bomb your automobile. If you're fine with that, that's on you. But me, I want a Mad Max bumper for my Pinto. Mad Max. When you go to places like like South Dakota any of those places where there's a lot of deer I think would you say

Michigan is the worst deer do you want to say Michigan we went over the country like how many different people get in car accidents with deer

every year and I think Michigan was fucking insane like more than a hundred thousand people getting car accidents a year with deer.

Well, to be honest, people... Alabama's the worst? What are they at? 1 in 127. Wow. 1 in 127 car accidents involves a deer? Chance of collision, it says. Oh my God, that's a 1% chance, essentially. That's like if you drive 100 times, one time you're going to kick a fucking deer. Chance of collision, it says. Oh my god, that's a 1% chance, essentially. That's like if you

drive 100 times, one time you get a kick. Do you know how crazy that is? If you drive 100 times, how many times have you driven 100 times? Michigan's a little, oh, there's a couple even higher. Mississippi is the highest. Michigan is 1 in 94. Minnesota's. If you drive 94

times, but it doesn't matter if there's a deer on the road. Why is there a deer on the fucking road? Mississippi is 1 in 94. Wow. Minnesota. They're not good drivers up there. 94 times. But it doesn't matter if it's a deer on the road. Why is a deer on the fucking road? Mississippi is one in 84. Oh my God. And Montana is one in 175.

Pennsylvania, one in 71. And then the top one. I was in Montana recently. Every fucking person up there has a battering ram welded to the front

of their truck. It's everyone. One in 39. Oh my God oh my god i wasn't sorry go ahead i was in michigan like a year ago and we drove down to do shows in like michigan to columbus ohio to whatever but the drive from michigan to columbus there was so many dead deer on the side of the road like every half mile there was just dead bodies and blood. It was just guts and blood and deer everywhere. It was really disgusting how many dead deer

there were. There's a lot, and there's rules on whether or not you can eat it. If you get there right after the accident, I think you can call the cops in some states, and they'll let you take the deer home and eat it, which is nice. If somebody leaves it behind... If you're a person that's, like, poor

and you run across a deer that just got hit by a car, that's like 100 pounds of meat. That's like 100 meals, you know? I mean, that's amazing for your family. You know, you can all, so there's a lot of people that, like, get excited about roadkill. But the real problem is it kills, I think it kills 200 people a year in this country is that the number i think it's 200 people a year in this country alone die from collisions with deer 200 times more than weed well it's two it's two million car accidents or 1.5 million car accidents in this country every year with deer. 1.5 million.

And I think the number of people that die is like 200. Does that make sense? But either way, 1.5 million I'm 100% sure of. Yeah, it leads to about 200 human deaths and $1.1 billion in property damage every year. I've seen the property damage thing. What about the deer's life? Is that not worth money, You son of a bitch. Oh, you put money on life.

I'm a killer. I turned into a werewolf. That bear video that I think you posted the other day. Oh, yeah. That's so fucked up. Not good. That makes me want to buy a gun just for that. Yeah.

Not good. There's a lot of not good lately has did you see the mountain lion one where the mountain lion was following the guy around trying to figure out whether or not he should jack him so not good big ass old cat it's a big fucking cat and it's looking at him i don't know if it's an old cat but i mean it's it's a mature cat it's a big cat did he do what he should have done and that's just like kind of walked away, and I thought you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to walk back, but you have to be careful in challenging it. You're not supposed to look at it in the eyes,

because it might instill a primal rage in that fucking murderous predator where it just decides to fuck you up. It's hard to say what you're supposed to do and what you're not supposed to do, because I've heard people say that you should talk loud and I've heard people say that you should just walk away. Jiggle your car keys. Yeah. I mean,

I don't think you can predict just like you can't predict like a regular cat. Like how many people have different kinds of cats? Like you have different cats than I have. We all have different cats and I've had a bunch of the same kind of cats and they behave different they just all fucking animals are different man you can run across one wolf that wants to fuck you up and you can walk you can come across another wolf that doesn't want to have anything to do with you wants to stay in the background and move away from you so it's entirely possible that this guy just ran across a cat that

was thinking about eating a person would he have been able to kill this and have been okay like a fit oh yeah yeah yeah yeah if he had a weapon but I don't think he had a weapon I don't think he had anything like this this isn't okay he couldn't just killed it because it's near him yeah oh yeah you have to make a judgment call and you'd have to be able to support that judgment call like if if someone was out there, right, say if you were a bow hunter, and you're having to stare down with this mountain lion, you have to be absolutely sure that you've exhausted all of the possibilities. But there's a fine line, right?

There's like you want to be able to preserve your own life. You want to make sure that you're okay. But you also want to, if you're going to kill this thing, you want to be right about it. So you have to figure out what is that, when do you hit that switch? So do you hold on to the arrow and do you hold your bow in front of that cat? Like right there, I got to be honest with you, I might shoot that fucking cat. That cat is 15 feet away from him and this guy got away with it but he didn't have to. Now the cat's moving in The cat is 15 feet away from him. And this guy got away with it, but he didn't have to. Now the cat's moving in on him at 15 feet away.

The problem is, once this thing jumps on you, you don't have a fucking chance. And once it realizes how weak you really are, because you look way bigger than it. You're standing right there. That cat's dead. Right there, broadside. That's 15 feet away from him. I'm drawing an arrow back. And I'm getting rid of that cat i

can't take that chance i'm not gonna die i'm not gonna die because i don't want it to die i don't want to kill it but i don't want it to kill me for fuck sure and this is an animal that is absolutely stalking a person it's trying to figure out whether or not it can do it now in this guy's case he got lucky he talked enough he maybe he was a bigger guy Maybe the cat just didn't feel like it was worth it. I've been throwing rocks Maybe maybe the rocks would make it charge. You don't know man. You don't know that's the problem Like someone can tell you if the the general rule of thumb is if a bear attacks you play dead But if a cougar attacks you fight back where was this up by the way? I think he's on his bike so he had his bike in between them

So maybe that's good. It it as a little shield or something. Fuck yeah, I'd be taking those tires off. I'd beat that fucking thing to death. I'd be scared as fuck right here, too. This guy is so cool about this. Unbelievable. There's a mountain lion right here. I mean, folks, for people listening It's on a trail

This thing is 15 feet in front of him Right in front of me Oh yeah, that's 15 feet in front of him Maybe 20 At least it has his helmet on Whatever, that thing's biting your face off This is a nice time to own a gun. Right here is nice.

You go, oh, hey, man. Hey, man, check this out. Boom. Fuck you. I don't know what I would have done if I was him. If you have a gun, you shoot at the ground. You just go, bitch. Oh, he's moving towards it.

It's cute, though. I'm not afraid of you. The thing's backing up. I might, bitch, what the fuck are you doing around here? I might go crazy and see if I could scare him off here. That's probably what I would be doing. I'd be screaming at it more. You'd be dead.

Most likely. Let's be honest. You'd be wheezing. Delicious. If you lit a cigarette up, maybe he'd run away. Yeah. Dude, I would use fire. Cigarette smoking.

I would probably do that. I would probably, like, if I had my lighter, I'd light my shirt on fire or something like that. There was an old man in Canada just a couple of years ago who killed one with a knife. He got attacked by a mountain lion. He was 60 years old. He was fighting it off and cut its neck. Fighting to the death with a monster. Jumps at him, claws a hold of him.

Yeah. I think mountain lions, just for the record i think mountain lions are fucking awesome i'm a big fan of mountain lions there's a lot of the people that are animal rights activists they might hear this and say what about the person the person shouldn't be there that's the lion's home the person's in the lion's home let's be honest folks folks. There's people that are beautiful. They produce poetry. They write songs. They make movies. They love you.

They take you out to dinner. They're your friend. You can count on them. They offer emotional support. Mountain lions don't give you any of that shit. So when it comes to, I don't know why I said poetry. I agree with everything I said up to poetry. But it comes to who do I like more, mountain lion or that guy on the bike?

I don't even know that guy on the bike? I don't even know that guy on the bike. I love him. Give him a hug. I'd shoot that fucking thing if I was nearby. Creepy ass predator cat. It would be cool

to have a full simulation. Like you could be like, all right, I want to see what happens if I went up to it as if it was a normal cat. Like, you know,

kind of like Grizzly Man style. You just see a red screen. Yeah, but if you could try everything. Like, all right, now I'm ready to try throwing my shoe. It would be like You know, kind of like Grizzly Man style. You just see a red screen. Yeah, but if you could try everything. Like, all right, now I'm ready to try throwing my shoe. It'd be like a lawnmower hit your face. There's spray all over the screen.

I just wonder if there was that kind of calming approach or anything. No, no, no. What are you, the Grizzly Man? That's what I'm trying to say, yeah. Hey, Mr. Chocolate. Hey, Mr do you the grizzly man? It's gonna be okay Hey, mr. Chocolate. I remember there's a scene the grizzly man where the the bear took a shit And he's like this came out of her butt This came out of her butt. It's still warm I'm touching I feel like I'm touching inside of her it came out of her butt. I get his hands on bear shit.

I wish there could be a sequel to that movie. So bad. Like Bob Ross could play it or here's the thing. There wasn't a sequel, but that guy made, I think more than a hundred hours of footage. He had a entire show that they did on one of the reality TV channels where it was a grizzly man show where it was like they edited a lot of his lost footage.

And it was really fascinating because as misguided as this guy was, he was definitely misguided and he definitely had some issues for sure. He really did love bears and he was really passionate about bears and he was passionate about describing various aspects of their behavior and it was really interesting and he got some fucking badass footage man he got some incredible footage like really close-up footage of bears fighting he got footage of bears coming right up to him and smith like literally sniffing his hand and running away he got footage of wild foxes becoming his friend like hanging around his camp and he would feed them and hang out with them.

They'd steal his hat. He got amazing footage. So if you look at the guy as just like a wildlife photographer, he's like one of the greatest of all time in a way. Because what he did was something that nobody was willing to do. Go full screen on this motherfucker. I can't put this on YouTube, by the way. Right, of course, of course, of course, of course. This is, if you haven't seen this, this is two bears.

I think we did commentary on this during Ice House Chronicles. I was talking about his jiu-jitsu. Yeah, that's right. I was like, he's got very good jiu-jitsu. Like, the way the big bear on top is passing. The guy on the bottom is trying to work the guard. He's putting feet on the hips. But the big bear is using pressure.

He's putting feet on the hips. But the big bear is using pressure. He's like old school, like, solo hibero, like, fucking rock solid jujitsu. Like, this is what I'm looking at here. And pooping. Oh, yeah, they shit. They shit while they're going to war. But this is very much like jujitsu in a lot of ways, man.

When I'm watching this, this is like rafael levato this is like that kind of jujitsu like super strong real technical pressure power they get on top of you and they put the fucking clamp down on you and you're dead like this bear is kind of doing that but the bottom bear got up look at this he's game he's not as big but but he's game. They go to war. The guy on the left is considerably smaller. Do you see it? Do you see how much smaller he is? The one on the right is literally 25% larger. But the guy on the bottom is not giving up.

It's like, Marcelo Garcia, Rico Rodriguez. You motherfuckers don't even know. Did you see that training? Did you see that video of a wrestler versus a bodybuilder? It's the same kind of thing where the bodybuilder is super huge. A wrestler versus a bodybuilder and like the same kind of thing where the bodybuilder is like super huge and you're like wrestler versus there's a jujitsu one that's pedro sauer versus a bodybuilder oh maybe that's it have you well pedro sauer i think look up this pedro sauer s-a-u-e-r versus um bodybuilder and i think the dude was like i want to say he was like 240 pounds and

pedro sauer was like 150 yeah and Pedro Sauer was like 150 Yeah And he got in this like street fight with this guy in a gym and this is back in the day when like the Gracie Challenges were going on shit like that. This is the guy he's fucking jacked and Pedro Sauer I believe is Hicks and Gracie lineage. I apologize if I'm wrong, but either way he's a super Respected I know he's Gracie. He's got a Gracie Guion, super respected jujitsu instructor and competitor. So he's got this giant bodybuilder in front of him and he's front leg side kicking him in the thigh. This is so old school. I wish I knew what year this was, but he keeps hitting him with this front leg side kicking

him in the thigh. He's way small in this guy and the bodybuilder is yet to move. Now he tries to make his move and he throws a punch, but it ain't working. And Pedro Sauer starts jacking him with punches, and so the guy takes him down. So now when the guy takes him down, Pedro Sauer immediately sweeps him, mounts on him. And the dude rolled him over at least one time, but Pedro didn't really take any damage. You see how good a real, legit Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner is at protecting himself. And then especially the fact that he's wearing a gi, which is even better. Because he can really, even though the other guy is bare-chested, if Pedro's wearing a gi, he can control the guy because it's grippy.

The gi allows you to hold on to a big fucking sweaty gorilla like this guy. So he eventually catches homeboy in an armbar. This is not the same video. I saw it, but it's the same pretty much idea. I want to say this is like 95 or something like that. So he's holding on to the dude. What does it say? What does it say?

That guy was 92, Mr. Utah. So I thought it was a 92. Well, Pedro Sauer, I think he's in Utah. I think he's a Salt Lake City guy. I'm pretty sure I might be wrong But in either way Pedro Sauer super respected very Very high level jiu-jitsu instructor a lot of blood here man. Who's got the blood look at that. Oh shit armbar son. I Think he made that dude's fucking nose explode before he armbarred him. Does that guy's face a bloody mess?

Yeah, yeah, there it is. That's the blood. Yeah, he punched him in the nose and choked the shit out of him and then took his arm. Old school, son. But the difference in strength there and size is pretty substantial. What did you see? Mine was one of those Facebook videos like,

guess who wins when you do a pro wrestler versus a bodybuilder? And the bodybuilder was just this huge monster bodybuilder, and the wrestler just had no problem just throwing him on the ground constantly. It was just wrestling. It wasn't MMA. But was it a pro wrestler? You said pro wrestler? Or was it just like a guy?

No, not a pro wrestler, like a professional wrestler. Oh, like someone who's an expert. Expert, yeah. Expert, yeah. Pro wrestlers used to be real wrestlers. Not that they're not now. Now they're more real entertainers, but they can wrestle. Obviously Brock Lesnar can wrestle.

But the original days of pro wrestling, it wasn't fake. can wrestle, but the original days of pro wrestling, it wasn't fake. It is the weirdest thing that is the only sport that's a sport in the fucking Olympics, but in the professional world, it's fake. And when I say fake, I don't mean it disrespectfully. I know I joked around about pro wrestling, and a lot of pro wrestling fans get super buttered. Listen, I absolutely respect the athletes and their abilities and what they're doing i like to fuck with tony hinchcliffe folks okay it's fun he loves wrestling a little too much and if you got burned along with that i'm so sorry but my honest feelings

about pro wrestling is i it disturbs me that guys who are so good and women who are so good at wrestling don't have a professional venue for it where wrestling is so exciting on an amateur level, whereas tennis players have massive opportunities. Everybody else has massive opportunities. I mean, I guess swimming doesn't. But a lot of big-time sports have these huge opportunities. But what swimming doesn't have is amateur swimming and then fake swimming

where they're like rolling, like, he's got jello! He got the jello, ladies and gentlemen! Michael Phelps is doing the world record in jello! I like this. We'd have Mauro Ranello and he would have Elton John sunglasses on and a fucking Chuck Liddell mohawk and he'd be doing the pro wrestling

version of swimming. We're going pro swimming. Nick fucking, what's his name? The guy who the pro wrestling version of swimming. We're going pro swimming. Yeah, Nick fucking, what's his name, the guy who runs pro wrestling? Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon, he puts a fucking bandana on his neck, and he has one of those Mark Spitz mustaches. This is his new look. And he just talks about pro swimming.

We're taking pro swimming, the same place we took pro wrestling. Alex Jones. Michael Phelps is like, fuck, man.. You know I love Wheaties as much as the next guy, but I'm tired I'm tired of just living off sponsors. I gotta watch what I do. I can't smoke weed. This is bullshit Why don't I have a professional venue? Hey, man If if fucking golf is in the Olympics and golfers make millions of dollars everybody got a damn swims You all know how to swim didn't you race your cousin when you were a kid? We all know how to swim, right? Okay, let's make pro swimming.

Let's do this. It gets together. With Vince McMahon, they have pro swimming. That's a good idea. Like there's hoops that they have to swim through. You guys don't even care.

I like it. ESPN launches new WWE vertical. What? What does that mean? What is a vertical? They're going to start covering WWE. Are you hard right now? No, I'm just like, you're chubby? You woke? What does that mean? What is a vertical? They're going to start covering WWE. Are you hard right now?

No, I'm just like, why would a legitimate sports thing be starting to do that? Because they would need money. I know, it's just entertainment. Well, apparently these shows are doing not so good because of the internet. Because of the different, like, if you're talking about where you get your news and your entertainment and your coverage of different sports, a lot of people are turning to the internet. Say if you had a studio, okay, and you had a studio in Hollywood and you said, hey, you know what? I enjoy the UFC coverage. I enjoy Bellator's coverage.

I enjoy all these different mixed martial arts, but I want to do my own new show. And I'm just going to put it on YouTube. And I'm going to hire Dean Thomas. It's essentially what Dana White's done with that Looking for a Fight show. What if someone comes along and says, I'm going to do that with Cowboy Cerrone, some fun, colorful characters, and I'm going to have them talk about fights every week. Who's going to watch the ESPN show? If you can watch Brian Stan, Dominic Cerrone, or Donald Cerrone and Dominic Cruz talk about fights,

who the fuck is going to watch anything else? I want to hear what they have to say. I want to hear what Donald has to say about Conor McGregor. I want to hear what Dominic Cruz has to say about Cody Garbrandt. I want to hear what these super influential fighters, who are some of the most interesting characters in the world, have to say. You're not going to be able to recreate that with some talking head that used to cover women's volleyball, and now he's covering MMA.

And, you know, last night, Amanda Nunes became the fourth UFC women's champion. You know he doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care. You would watch the internet show, right? So if the internet show was available on your TV, what's ESPN going to do? That's coming, man. That's coming. Bill Burr

is going to have a fucking football show on ESPN and everybody better shut their mouth because if Bill Burr, if he does what he does on his podcast, I don't even follow the NFL, but when he starts making fun of people in the NFL and talking about fans and stuff on his podcast, it's

hilarious. If someone wises up and gives Bill Burr some sort of a platform, a gigantic platform reviewing football, oh my god, everybody else is done. They're all done because he knows his shit too. Some sort of a platform, a gigantic platform reviewing football. Oh, my God. Everybody else is done. They're all done. Because he knows his shit, too.

Like, Bill Burr understands football. Like, when I listen to him, I'm like, oh, this guy's not just like a comedian talking shit about stuff. He actually understands football. I can listen to him talk about anything. Love that dude. He's an American treasure. Fuck yeah. him talk about anything love that dude he's an american treasure fuck yeah so it's more like the delivery method has outpaced yes the content i guess or it's eliminated the necessity of a large

studio like a friend of mine was going to do something on the internet recently and he's like um this group wants to pay me money to be you know to be associated with this and this. And I go, okay, what are you going to do it on? And he goes, I'm going to do it on YouTube. I'm like, okay, why would you want someone coming along and being a part of that? When you can just do it yourself. Like if you get, I'm like, if you get in bed with this person or this group, this media conglomerate, you get in bed, this media conglomerate with your project that you're trying to launch online.

You're going to be relieved of some of the financial burden, but in this case, I'm talking to a guy who's not hurting for money. I'm like, you're not talking about a substantial investment. What do you need? You need a camera? You need an employee? You need an upload place? You need to send out something like YouTube is essentially free. You just need a good internet connection, good computers.

The price of entry is not exorbitant in relationship to the potential. But if you get involved with some sort of a media conglomerate, these guys, all these people are very smart. All these people that are involved in all these different networks, they have existed for the longest time. They are the old vampire versions of Hollywood. They've existed forever. And they've grown up in this system. And some of them have come along in different transitionary phases of the system. But they realize right now the system is in jeopardy.

It's in a very strange place. Because the internet is slowly becoming more and more prevalent in people's lives. It's consuming more and more of people's entertainment time. And it's becoming more powerful in its abilities. The ability that someone has today is what you could create and edit on a computer. It's literally getting to the point where I can make a movie with you and you don't even have to be in it. I can just decide that I'm going to make fucking Slumber Party 10 with Jamie Vernon. And Jamie Vernon shows up at the door with a fucking pizza delivery outfit on.

And 15 skanky hoes just dive on his pecker. And we make a porn. I mean, that's 100% possible. That's only like 10 years away from now, man. And you're going to be able to stream things online. You're going to be able to create a film with a regular laptop and a fucking phone, and it's going to look like a goddamn movie. People have probably already done it.

Snapshot filters is a good example. If you do it right now, I can make a movie with Jamie on gay porn. Exactly. I read an article about what you're talking about, really. They used the example of the new Pee Wee Herman movie, that he looks a little too young for what he should be throughout the movie, but the article describes how there's this thing called, what they call CGI facelifts,

and there's multiple million-dollar actors and actresses that use teams of people to keep them younger-looking in movies, like what they did for Benjamin Button. Jesus Christ. They made Brad Pitt stay younger-looking, like he was a strapping 22-year-old dude when he was really, like, 45. That's just a filter. You can tell the detail level is just fogged out.

Well, as a still frame, it's a filter, but he looks like that throughout the whole movie. So it's a still frame. They have that for video also, though. Right, but I think what he's saying is that this is a still frame of the video. Yeah, but there's just like... Is that what you're saying? No, no, no.

I was saying they're doing it through movies. Right, but this is the whole movie. It's like this, right? Yeah, it looks like this is an actual still frame as far as i know yeah it looks i mean even snapshot has that one filter that makes it's called the pretty filter a beautiful filter it just pretty much does the same thing it kind of softens your face and gets rid of the the detail well have you seen the real life filters that they're using they have this new thing that they've invented where it's a film

that they put on your skin, and it radically reduces wrinkles. Oh, wow. Like, it's an invisible film. It lasts 24 hours. Oh, cool. You put it on your skin, and it's waterproof, and it radically reduces wrinkles. Have you seen this? No, I haven't seen it.

That's cool. Dude, it's fucking weird. I didn't even think about that. You're going to bang some old ladies, dude. Oh, God. 100%. For you? I'm good.

You drink a lot. I'm good with my 22-year-old. Do you remember that time in Austin? Which one? Do you remember that time where a lady sat next to you and started kissing you and you were hammered and you thought it was the wrong lady? Do you remember that? Yeah, we've talked about that

before, the old lady. This old lady got deep into Brian's face and Brian's mouth was, his eyes were closed the whole time. Brian had a lovely young lady with him. By the way, this is a long, long time ago. Any parties currently invested in Mr. Brian Redband need not worry.

Many, many, many, many, many, many moons ago. And this lovely young lady took off and this woman parked her broomstick and sat down next to Brian. Oh, God. Like 70 years old.

No teeth. No bullshit. At least 60. Yeah. No bullshit. At least 60. And she just attacked me. Out of nowhere, plopped down next to you, put her hand on your chest.

You smiled and looked over with your eyes closed. And she dove in for the kiss. And you thought you were kissing the other girl, and then you realized in the middle, it was like, oh, oh. It's like there's a horror movie where that happens, where the guy's making out with the girl and her face falls apart, and you realize that she's a monster. Isn't there a horror movie like that?

Well, in part of Indiana Jones where they open up the chest and that Nazi's face melts, kind of. Yeah, it's like that, but there was a movie where a guy was making out with a girl, and I want to say her hair started falling out or something like that. Oh, yeah, there was. God damn it, what movie was it? Oh, The Shining! It's The Shining. Remember?

Jack Nicholson goes into one of those mysterious rooms and he starts making out with this woman and her skin starts falling off. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. Oh my god. Find that scene. Let's end this podcast. And you recorded the whole thing on video and you thought you were doing me a favor by deleting it. I would love

to have seen that. I know. I fucked up. I was trying to protect you, brother. It was dark. It was dark. I don't even think she had teeth. God, I would have fucking seen that. She was a monster. She was right out of the swamps. She came out of swamps. You can of swamps you can't show it well for us can we see it where nobody else sees it put it on make sure that nobody sees it we'll just show you nobody can see it right okay yeah so she's super super hot in that 1970s

i don't know how to work out hot which is great for like eight years. Nice aerial look on her. Girls have that hot for eight years. Right around 26, it starts to go, hey, we're not really making the same amount of hormones anymore, and you no longer play soccer. So what's going on with this body? Look at that bush, full bush, full 70s bush. Which, by the way, I don't mind. I don't mind.

Doesn't bother me at all. Look at this, Jack nicholson doesn't know what to do she's touching him oh shit it's about to get freaky i don't remember this scene and i definitely don't remember the scene being this long i remember it being like real short i feel like i watched this recently and don't remember the scene in the movie i remember it happened for sure which is why i brought it up but i don don't remember it. Like, I'm looking at it. This all seems super new to me. So he starts making out with her.

She's got a flat house. Yeah. She needs to do squats. Yeah. Go to the gym, bitch. Oh, so he's kissing her? Yeah. And in the middle of kissing her, he's like, oh, he's having such a good time.

You can see that she looks a little bony. Yeah, something's not right. Something's wrong. And he opens his eyes. Yeah. He opens his eyes. And he opens his eyes, And he opens his eyes and he realizes she's an old lady and his eyes go

wide open. He can't even enjoy it. He's a hater. He turns, he sees her in the mirror and her back in the mirror is covered with welts and his little kid starts seizureing. Now she's in the tub and he's backing up. She's decaying. And she's laughing

and coming towards him. Holy shit, this is a good movie. It's like the old lady from Kingpin. See, here's backing up. She's decaying. And she's laughing and coming towards him. Holy shit, this is a good movie. It's like the old lady from Kingpin. See, here's my point. Where the fuck are these movies, man? Yeah. This is my kind of movie. I like horror movies.

I'm a huge fan. I like monster movies. I like horror movies. It doesn't have to be real. I know it's not real. I haven't seen them, but I heard that movie Green Room was supposed to be pretty interesting.

Ooh, what's that? There's a new one called Where This Blind Man Can't See that looks pretty intense, too. I forget what it's called. Don't Talk or Don't Whisper or some shit. How could that be as good as this? The Green Room, the story of Louis Anderson. Oh, how dare you. Rated R for gay.

Louis Anderson's a wonderful gentleman I love him I think he's a hilarious comedian let's end this bitch let's bring it home thank you everybody for the happy birthday wishes appreciate the fuck out of it while this is ending we haven't ended it yet hold on before we end it

I'm gonna get I've been doing this thing on Instagram. You know, Instagram has that, yeah, the stories thing. So I've been doing the Instagram story. So if you listen to the podcast and you're like, what's going on with your Instagram story, bro? I'll show you what's going on with my Instagram story, motherfucker. Shit. Hang on. Switch it around.

Whoops. That's the flash. I don't want the flash. This is my life at 49. One more. one more oh god damn it you just took a picture of my feet I'm trying to get this light off

how do I get this light off hit the picture of the lightning bolt I know I just want to make sure it's alright here it goes ladies and gentlemen just had a wonderful podcast with Brian Redband and young Jamie. We'll see you soon. All right. Bye-bye.