The Joe Rogan Experience - #899 - Bryan Callen

Episode Date: January 12, 2017

Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian, and together with Brendan Schaub he also hosts "The Fighter & The Kid" podcast available on Spotify.

Yeah, gotta start getting, start digging deep. Hey Brian Callen. Hey! What's up buddy? How much it's a rainy, cozy Thursday. It's adorable. They say on rainy days that people are a little bit more devious. So if you have an honor jar where you gotta put like tips, you know, if you take a bagel

at the office and you're supposed to put like a dollar in there on rainy days, some people tend to not do it. They're like, I'm not going to give it. It's raining. I'm taking a break from being honest. Really? I wonder why rain does that. I don't know. Huh?

Why do girls are always like, it's funny. Rain always reminds me of like past girlfriends who would call it me like, let's go fuck on a roof. Whoa. I'm always like nah kind of girls you're dating too wet well the good kind the good kind the kind that aren't that stable kind of low self-esteem and daddy issues the kind that want to fuck on a roof yeah i always tell you that when i take girls when i would take women shopping back in the day it even

happens with my wife now like i get a little horny because like i'm the man oh you're buying them things i love that shit you're providing well with my wife when before we got married she wanted these shoes and they were fucking high-heeled sneakers right i'm like some asshole named ted calls himself christian louis vuitton and now i gotta pay 800 for a high-heeled sandal i mean the amount of leather that goes into a sandal. But the two women are saleswomen, and I'm the man. And I'm the man, and I'm in a—I think I was in a linen shirt, and I had a blazer on. A linen blazer. I spent too much money on it.

And I'm taking my girl on a little weekend in Santa Barbara. I'm the man. I'm the man. Probably not even working at the time, but whatever. And she tries on these Louboutins or whatever the fuck jimmy chews and she goes god they're so amazing and the woman brings out another pair and she bitch yep that bitch is right and she goes i can't decide and the saleswoman goes get them both and she goes oh my god i've never do that and i go if you want them both. And she goes, and she, this bitch, God bless her, my wife, she hides behind her own hand.

And she goes, you're going to ruin me for other men. And I was like, get both the fucking, get both fucking shoes. I won't eat meat for the month, but get the fucking shoes. Because I'll buy you that dress, too. I'm going to help you travel. I'll buy you that dress too I'm going to help you travel Well basically what you're doing Brian Is just perpetuating these gender stereotypes

That have been essentially boxing people Into these behavior patterns For years It's not that they're natural It's totally cultural It's totally something that our society has constructed It's a cultural context Sorry

Sorry for being a provider. No, no, no, no. You're not. Who you are is the patriarchy. You are the patriarchy. Do you want to shatter the patriarchy? I want to just break all the glass ceilings, Brian. Rose McGowan, who I think is sexy as all get out, was on the cover of some

terrible magazine and she's in a leather jacket, dressed like a man, of course. It's interesting how when you want to shadow the patriarchy, you're dressed, you know, she's in pants, and I think she had gloves with the fingers cut out. Maybe she didn't, but in my mind she did. And she's hanging on to something. She's hanging, she's looking like that.

Maybe a cigarette out of her mouth. She's a bad bitch. And by the way, head is shaved. She's not fucking around. Her head is shaved. Fuck yes. And the caption is is she wants to shatter the patriarchy yeah yes i would i'm so if i had a crack at that i would i would be the i'd

turn into the biggest fucking liberal in the world i'd be like you are 100 right and i'll do whatever i have to and if i could cook you some food right now just lose your shirt and arch your back and lick your lips after we're done isn't it funny how a really hot girl back in the day could get you to do anything literally be like my joke is always like if I don't care

if it's a black guy there she is she's so hot she's amazing is she too crazy is that why she stopped working um would imagine that she's probably I mean how'd she stop working her dad was a cult leader oh well she's fucked yeah oh yeah I think she's not possibly hot she quit acting hint Hollywood. Okay, I'm running away now. Yeah. This is right about the time where I run away.

What am I supposed to do with that information? When you say Hollywood sexism, you're so hot. I remember meeting her after she'd done Doom Generation at Air One my first year in Los Angeles. I was so into it. I was like, hi, I'm on Matt TV. I think that was the next thing I said. Anything to try to get her attention. She had no time for me at all.

But, you know, she was so... You enjoy privilege. You have your house and all that stuff because you have a bone structure and a body that makes men sweat. It's just my genetics. I'm not trying to be a... I'm not...

Right, she's profiting off of a fortunate roll of the dice plus her acting talent. And also she says, I can't stand when men say, smile to me and all that. That is gross. It is gross, but how about this? How about looking at it this way? Hey, sometimes we're so flummoxed by your beauty and power that we want to say, we'll just say anything.

Most of the time, you can't even look at her. And when you want to get to her, you just want to say anything just so she looks at you. And it's clumsy. Yeah, but maybe that's you. But there's a lot of dick wads out there that go up to women and they go, hey, why don't you smile? You look better if you smile. Yeah. But come on, man, that's super common. I consider it the same thing as a guy who has a bad sense of humor. Right. Yeah. I have a friend. You have friends. You know that guy. Right. But when you're a woman and a guy's doing it to you it has the feeling of danger attached to it i know i understand when a guy's pursuing a woman and he's saying

things like that and he's kind of gross and clumsy yeah we think of it as like a dude being gross and clumsy to us right but a guy being gross and clumsy to you doesn't you don't feel like you might get raped yeah i just feel like you you feel raped. Yeah, I hear you. You just feel like you feel a little weird. I know. But girls, they're constantly being pursued. It's a different world. They're physically vulnerable. Yeah.

But that's never been any different, right? Yeah, well, it's never been any different, but they never had the ability to express themselves. There's never been the opportunity to put up a post on Facebook about the way you feel about something and have people react to it. Yeah, I guess. I also think that there are some women that embrace it and turn it into an advantage. I think people get into anything, man. They get into anything and everything. They get into it.

I'm into being a feminist. It defines them. I'm into playing water hockey. Is water hockey a thing? I fight. I'm a fighter. I train. I was going to say water polo, but I'm like, a feminist. It defines them. I'm into playing water hockey. I fight. I'm a fighter. I train. I was going to say water polo, but I'm like, that's just too ridiculous. Water pocky. It's hockey underwater.

I blame the weed. I don't know, man. People get into things. They might get into activism. They might get into the response they get from other people because they embrace activism. That's as much of an addiction as anything else. And sometimes those addictions lead to really great work because people do get addicted to the adulation that they get from doing good things,

so they continue to do good things. It becomes their thing and letting everyone know about how much good things they're doing. That's why it's so amazing when you find out about someone who does things quietly, like someone who donates money quietly or helps people quietly and is not trying to get any attention whatsoever for it. You go, oh, well, that's real. This is real altruism. It's so uncommon. I think Truman said that.

Truman said something like, I read a quote. He said, you'd be amazed at how much you can get accomplished if you're not worried about who gets the credit for it. Yeah. That's an important thing. I think that's how charity should be given. I mean, if you put your name on the charity or on the building, you know. Yeah, there's, well, I mean, I guess it's as long as good charity gets done. Charity to me has always been a very strange thing because it is super important, you know,

that people help people out. But when you find out how much of these organizations actually spend the money on the charity itself and how much of it goes to the structure of the organization it's crazy they're like what yeah like it's nuts and they all lie about it they all lie about how much money it actually because they just they do fancy accounting right well the clinton foundation is a good example they had something they don't know yet, but it was pretty astonishing at how much went to running the corporation and how much was – it's going to be really interesting to see how much the Clinton Foundation can raise now that both of them have no political influence anymore. Well, they still have influence, right?

But they just don't have a position. Not anymore they don't. They have no influence in how to move American policy. When she was secretary of state and her husband was out there. Do you think she'll do something, like run for senator again? No, I don't think she'll ever run for office again. That's what her closest advisors say. Like it just wore her out?

I think so. Fuck yeah, it had to have. I mean, she didn't even want to go to these places. She'll be 70, right? Yeah. And she's not a healthy 70 either. That was one of the other super annoying things about this election is that if you brought up her health, you were sexist. I experienced that a

couple of times. People reacting like, would you have brought up the fact that she was fainting if she was a man? Like fucking of course. Whenever a 70 year old person is just fainting, fainting is really fucking bad. People die from fainting. She almost died just fainting. Fainting is really fucking bad. People die from fainting. She almost died from fainting. She banged her fucking head off the ground in 2012 and Bill Clinton did an interview and said she was fucked up for six months. Wow. I paraphrase. He didn't say it. Imagine if he said it that way though.

She was fucked up for six months. I'm telling you that bitch fell back. Out cold. Cracks her head off the corner. Out cold. I'm telling you. the corner of the... Out cold. I'm telling you, I took pictures with my dick on her mouth. I cried on Monica's tits for a while. Poor Monica.

What is she doing now? Scraping shame off of her forever. She did a roundtable or a discussion, and it was all these supportive college students. It's really funny she's talking and she's kind of talking about her experience and some dude gets up and goes

well what's it like to be an attention whore and have sex you know for money and something like that like really hard and it was just this and she's like wow i guess i opened myself up for this kind of thing and she handled it well wasn't that that the HBO one? I think so. Yeah, yeah. I think so. I remember that. I was like, why is this on HBO? What are they doing? What is this? She strikes me as a pretty cool person.

I don't know. She's a nice person, I'm sure. I think she's attractive. I think it was a bummer that people made so much fun of her. How dare bull to you? I don't mind a little. I don't know, man. It's just, wow, anti-bullying is her first thing on her Twitter profile.

Wow. Apparently bullies in school bully across the social scale, right? So they don't bully the nerds. They bully each other. So if you're in a cool kid circle, apparently the bullies only bully, that's what I read, they bully each other because they know each other that's not true they definitely bully people in other social circles too how though you know where nerds bullying each other yeah that's apparently there's bullying among

groups but they don't really there's not a whole lot of cross-pollination for really but then again that's a dumb thing to say because i don't fucking know i read an article i don't go to schools and you know draw lines on that. There are a lot of things that are hard to figure out, right? There are a lot of things where you're like, you can draw these broad-based conclusions. I read one article in the New York Times about how doctors are in the pockets of pharmaceutical companies and the reps are cheerleaders. And I got a fucking email from this guy who was a former Green Beret, a friend of Tim Kennedy's. And he goes, hey, dude, just so you know, I sell drugs to doctors. Nothing, that's just not fucking true.

Like, I'm just telling you, like, the reality on the ground versus what you're reading from the New York Times is so diametrically opposed, it's ridiculous. Well, in his circumstance, but he's one guy working for one pharmaceutical company. The industry is gigantic. It's huge, and its practices vary widely, especially depending upon what drugs you're selling.

My wife's mom is a nurse, and she used to work with pharmaceutical companies. They would take them out to steak dinner, and they would woo them, and they would literally do everything they could to get you to be super high on that company. And it's what they do to gain influence without actually paying you to say shit to the patients. Say if there's a company that you like, like this hat I'm wearing, Vortex Optics, nice people. They make good binoculars, right? So if I meet them and I know them and I talk about them and I talk about them to other people, people perhaps will buy their stuff. Well, the same kind of shit happens in the pharmaceutical world.

They use influence. They become friends with these nurses they buy them nice dinners they take them out for drinks they pick up the tab wow we had a nice dinner i didn't have to pay anything that's all against the law now i believe is it yes now i think that there are a lot of strident laws or stringent laws whatever against sort of influence peddling and giving gifts even in the form of any kind of a trip, any kind of a dinner. A lot of that stuff is there's a wall now being sort of around it. Well, it's a super good idea, but people are so open to suggestion that it should be absolutely illegal to advertise drugs.

Absolutely. Well, how about the fact that pharmaceutical companies are bankrolling scientists, food companies bankroll scientists to do research on simple sugars and how your diet can be made of 25% simple sugars, according to our scientists that happen to also be on the Coca-Cola and Nestle craft payroll. Are you talking about the 1950 studies? I'm talking about now. I'm talking about recently. studies that the... I'm talking about now. I'm talking about recently. I'm talking about the fact that the Food and Nutrition Board or whatever, the bodies of government that set the nutritional standards for what mothers with dependent children eat, what the military eats,

what our school programs are, take a look at what their nutritional guidelines are and take a look at the corporations, the people that are actually providing the food. Who has a huge interest in that? Nestle, Kraft, these companies that make millions of dollars, billions of dollars on feeding our school children in public schools, right? Is there really a statement that says 25% simple sugars? If you read Forks Over Knives by T. Colin Campbell, he talks about the food and board nutrition.

He's a scientist. He's a vegan. food and board nutrition. And he's a scientist. I mean, he's a vegan. Food and board nutrition? I think it's the food and nutrition board. I think that's what it's called, food and nutrition board. But he, I can't remember. Don't quote me exactly. But, you know, he does a very good job of tracing the genealogy here.

He's a vegan, so I don't really agree with him. But he does an amazing job of kind of showing you just exactly how the big food companies are very influential in getting their products into the mouths and bellies of people who are relying on the government to feed them. Do you know how much that infuriates vegans? They say, well, he's a vegan, so I don't really agree with him. It's like, well, he's a fucking loony. Yeah.

I mean, he does an amazing job, though, in that book of making the argument for being healthier as a vegan. He talks about the China study. China study has been widely debunked. Right. The China study, apparently, they didn't do a good job of – pull up China study debunked so we can get this totally accurate. But I think essentially – Because it's a big part of his book. Yeah.

Well, it was a lot of parts of a lot of the ways people were managing their nutrition. Well, he doesn't know. He never talked about things like insulin. And he doesn't come from – it's not that scientific because, you know, insulin is a big thing to talk about, like how food reacts, the kind of hormonal response food has in your body, what dietary cholesterol really does, you know, all those things. The real combination, the real correct combination should be all healthy things. Rest in peace, China study. Okay, this is Chris Kresser who's actually been on the podcast. Huh. The China study should put the issue to rest.

Please consider the information presented here. The methodology is impressive. Okay, scroll down. Campbell recommends a vegan diet, no animal-based food at all. He claims that population studies demonstrate that vegan populations do not suffer from the high incidence of cardiovascular disease and cancer that we in the West do with our diets heavy on animal protein. Okay. He also draws a correlation between, if I remember correctly, milk and juvenile diabetes. I mean, he draws all these correlations to even chronic illnesses

that manifest themselves in children with meat and dairy. This is Chris Masterjohn's take on it. He says, when I first started analyzing the original China study data, I had no intention of writing up an actual critique of Campbell's much lauded book. I am a data junkie. Numbers, along with strawberries and Aubrey Hepburn films, make me

a very happy girl. Oh, it's a girl. I mainly wanted to see for myself how closely Campbell's claims aligned with the datas he drew from, if only to satisfy my own curiosity. But after spending a solid month and a half of reading, graphing, sticky noting, and passing out at 3 a.m. from studious exhaustion upon my copy of the raw China study data, I've decided that it's time to voice all my criticisms, and there are many. Ah.

Okay. Okay Campbell conveniently fails to mention The county of Tuyo In China The folks in Tuyo T-U-O-L-I 45% of their diet is fat 134 grams of animal protein each day

Twice as much as the average American And rarely ate vegetables or other plant foods Yet according to the China study They were extremely healthy With low rates of cancer and heart disease Alright, there you go Yeah, this Yet, according to the China study data, they were extremely healthy with low rates of cancer and heart disease. All right. There you go.

Yeah. This is the problem with the China study, is that they only put in stuff that backs up what they're saying. Yeah. Confirmation bias. Exactly. So they didn't put in anything that is contrary to that data. And there's plenty of that.

There's plenty of that out there. that data and there's plenty of that there's plenty of that out there i really honestly believe that the two call the real problem is the ideology because the the vegans are absolutely not able to get over the idea that you should ever eat or kill an animal it should do no harm right well one day we're going to have this factory made meat it's on the way i mean they're really close to being able to do that in mass. And when they do that, if they can get factory-made meat and factory-made fat, and if it turns out in any way to actually be like the same thing, like you can eat it and it's healthy, vegans should eat it because it's better for you.

Yes. It's more nutrition. I understand if you think that you can get all of your food from plants, and you kind of can. You kind of can. But there's been some real good scientific critiques of the problem with vegan diets. Yes. Yes, there have. And like Charles Poliquin said, he's been a strength coach forever, and he was on Tim Ferriss' podcast.

And he said, they said, have you ever – look, what about vegan diets? You've been strength training for 37 years and high level. He's got more gold medalists under his you know uh tutelage or whatever he's a results driven guy right right and uh is it so funny he said what what do you think of vegan because he eats game meat he basically eats game meat nuts berries and some vegetables and he said uh after 37 years he goes i've never seen it i've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never seen anybody on a vegetable-based diet actually be able to compete in strength, explosion, those kinds of things, to the level that other people do. There's a vegan powerlifter in the Olympics, so that doesn't make any sense.

And then there's other vegan strongmen. I know there's some guy who's— I'm sure. I'm sure there are i'm sure there are i'm just saying that you know according to poliklin for the most part his athletes he thinks have to eat meat because it creates a more uh you know better for recovery better for strength better for all that stuff i'm sure that that is dependent entirely on the athlete because i think there's some vegans that will tell you that they do a vegan diet and they feel better i know john fitch did a vegan diet for a while but then he felt weak he just got to a point you see, this is one of the things that Chris Kresser talked about on the podcast as well,

that there's some initial positive benefits from changing your diet to a nutrient-rich, rich, nutrient-dense diet, like a vegan diet, as opposed to the standard American diet. The problem arises after years of living like this where your body has just depleted itself of the things that are lacking in the diet right now a smart vegan would tell you well that could be mitigated by better planning of your meals and making sure that you get all these healthy things that's true that is absolutely true and adding things like uh what's that stuff from um the green stuff from the ocean algae yeah algae which you can get B12 from algae which is essentially sort of

look it's all life you know it's just we're deciding what's stupid if you really want to eat you should eat clams you know clams are dumb as fuck eat those stupid things I don't think they have a central nervous no they have nothing I mean you might as well be eating a carrot it's like you can eat we have this weird thing about stuff that moves.

Will you eat a Venus flytrap or do you draw the line? Also, don't animals talk to each other? I mean, plants talk to each other. Don't trees have conversations or something? Yes, they do. I would love to have a Venus flytrap salad now that I'm thinking about it. Dude, I'll tell you what, man. I went to, it's funny how some plants, you know where there's shit in like, they say

you can almost eat anything in the ocean with scales and fins, like whatever it is. You can eat shrimp. You can eat almost anything with their, like, you know, but when you go down, I was in Tahiti, which is considered the safest ocean to swim in. Really? Yeah. There's nothing really poisonous except for rockfish. And there aren't even any sea snakes,

I don't believe. There aren't big sharks. I mean, it's like really, really safe. But there are always these poisonous corals, these little things. I went scuba diving, and the woman with me just nicked her arm, like the back of her arm on a piece of coral.

And man, did that thing, it didn't swell up like big, but she was just like, this really hurts. And all she did was just kind of brush by. And the first thing the guy told me from Tahiti, he goes, number one rule, he said, you touch with your eyes and you look with your fingers. How's that sound?

I was like, don't touch anything. If I let you touch it, that's fine. But otherwise, please stay away from it. And at one point, we're down there. We're down there. And he starts clicking his fingers underwater. This is like 80 feet under. He's going like this.

And I'm like, what is he doing? And then nothing happens. And he's like doing it toward this coral thing. So I think somebody's going to jump out. And then he takes a piece of coral, picks it up, and he digs into the ground. And out comes what I thought was a piece of rock. It was a rockfish. Whoa.

Which, good luck. Step on that. See what happens. Tell me how things work out for you. Go ahead. Step on a rockfish. Is it covered with quills and shit? Yeah.

Try not to go into shock, by the way. Oh, I don't want to go into shock. No, no, no. You don't want to go into shock, especially 80 feet under. That's not a good time. Yeah. Boy. But the problem is that you walk walk and it looks exactly like a rock

and if you're walking around in like a you know, kind of down there in the ocean or you know, you walk on that you can get one of those in your foot. Fuck all that, dude. And they don't really have an anti-venom for you. They don't? You gotta let it work through your body. That fucker?

I don't know if that's a rockfish, but it's not. Quillback rockfish. Show them the other one. There's one that looks exactly like a stone. That was not the one. There's one that literally looks like- Maybe that right there? Yeah.

Look at that thing. That bad boy. That's what I saw. Whoa. Yeah. That does look like a rock. Uh-huh. When his eyes are closed, you're not seeing it.

Here's the weird thing, man. What the fuck information is being passed from animal to animal and from nature to animal that allows these simple animals like a fish to just change its body shape over time it's evolution it's exactly like um you know when you train a you know you train a whale or you train a bear so if you want a bear to get up on its hind legs, so what are they driven by? They're driven by food, right? So every time a bear sits up, you click a thing and you give them a – I'm not a bear trainer, but you – Are you a bear trainer?

Yeah. I mean, honestly – Are you secretly a bear trainer? I got some hidden skills. Right. Okay. You go – and you give it to him. And then when he gets up on his hind legs, maybe, you go – you click the thing and you give him a treat. And then that's – and you give him a signal for when you want it to him. And then when he gets up on his hind legs, maybe, you go, you click the thing, and you give him a treat,

and you give him a signal for when you want that to happen. And pretty soon, you allow him to kind of make the choice to go up, and he knows that when I go up in my hindquarters, good things happen, and I get a little treat, right? So you don't train a bear by going, bad bear, and hitting him on the nose. Good luck, see what happens to your fucking face, right? You work with the animal's nature.

And I think evolution probably was the same way. The fish that looked a little bit more like a rock, you know, a couple of those survived, right? Yeah. Like when I was in Tahiti, I was in this, because survival's a motherfucker, right? I was in Tahiti and they had this incredible, it's where all the sea turtles would lay their eggs and we would watch them hatch. And all these adorable little babies would run down to the ocean.

Everybody like, woo. And all of us would be sitting there. Yay. And the kids would be like, look at how cute they are and stuff like that. And as I'm watching them and there's so many of them, I go, there's so many. And he goes, there are. And my daughter's like, he's so cute. He's so good. She got to hold one before it went down there. And he looks at me and he goes, one in 1,000 survive. One in 1,000. That's just food for the bay right now. And I said, what do you mean? And he goes, they're just nothing but baby sharks and groupers and even big crabs waiting for every single one of them.

And one in 1,000 turtles are going to live. And then I whispered that to my daughter so she understands what fucking life is really about. Wow, you whispered it in a creepy way? Yeah, real creepy. Just remember, you think they're cute. It's got about 10 minutes to live until it hits that water. That is kind of fucked. It's like they make food.

Hey, man. It's like they're like little food factories. If they make a thousand of them, I mean, how many do they make? How many does each one make? They make probably 100 eggs. And then there's like 100 of them. They all die. Wow.

You need 10 nests and then one survives. So when you see a big turtle, you know, and they're, yeah. When you eat turtle soup, remember that. I don't eat turtle soup, bro. Well, they do in Japan. I was in Hawaii and at the Big Island, the turtles just chill on the shore. They just hang out there. Really?

And there's signs saying, don't disturb them. So cool. Yeah, and it was at a resort, and people just walked by them. I love it. Everybody was being cool to the turtles. But it's just, you're looking at this crazy life form, and you're so used to it that it just seems normal. Oh, there's a turtle. Oh, look, it's a turtle.

But then if you take yourself out of that context of familiarity and you just get a look at what that life form is, like, that thing is a shield on its back. Oh, yeah. And it sucks its body into this hard case. Yeah. And it's swimming around in the ocean. It's living out there. Yeah. Going under and then it comes up on the in the ocean. It's living out there. Yeah. It's going under

and then it comes up on the beach too. It does whatever the fuck it wants. When we were done scuba diving, we saw this pod of beautiful little dolphins. Not bottlenose porpoises,

but the kind of dolphins, the little gray ones you see that jump out of the, that you swim with. Mm-hmm. And it was a group of them and they swim with the boat. They know you're there

and they'll swim with you and they swim with the boat and they jump out of the air and they flip and they're literally showing off for you. There's no question about it, right? And I said to the guy, I wish we'd seen them when we were scuba diving. I could have played with one. And he said, you would never see them when you're scuba diving.

I said, what do you mean? They're right there. And he said, they don't like the bubbles. They wouldn't come near you. Why do you have to talk like that? You're freaking me out. I don't know. By the way, he was French and he said it in French, but I like being theatrical because he was really creepy, and he was breathing on the back of my neck. Oh, he was breathing on the back of your neck?

What the fuck was he doing behind you? I don't know, dude. He was wearing a Speedo. I was drunk. What? I drank too much. Oh, no. It was Tahiti, man.

I just wanted to come clean for a second. It's Tahiti, dude. We were in Tahiti. It's not gay if it's Tahiti, and it's not gay if I'm not looking him in the face. In Tahiti, we just get crazy. That's it. And he was like, Have you ever seen a crocodile eat a turtle?

No, but I'd like to, and I'd like you to bring that up, Jamie. They just chew them up. Really? Like nothing. They just chew right through the- They're horrific. Crocodiles are fucking horrific. They have acid in their stomach that can break down fucking anything.

Anything. License plates. Horns. I'm going to eat a gazelle. It's horns. Look at this. This is an alligator. This isn't even a big one, but this is good enough.

See, you didn't find one? There's a good video of a Croc. Look at that right there, right there, right there, right there. Third down, third down. No, the top one. The top one. Oh, no, it's Hippo. It's an alligator, too.

They're incredible. Well, guess what, dude? It's Turtles Fucksville. Well, now, hold on. It doesn't seem like it's going to break through that shell, though. No, this one, it seems like it's a little too small. The one that I saw was a crocodile, and like it's a little too small the one that I saw was a crocodile and so it was a really big animal that's a waiting game

smashing this turtle that's a waiting game yeah this he's not strong enough to do it he's too stupid to he's too stupid run run run run it barely slothers away look at it oh my. What a creepy animal. They just lived. Big-ass reptile. Fuck him. Oh, no. He's going to swallow them whole.

Nah. No? Nah. This is a wash. He's not getting this one. He'd definitely choke on that thing. Yeah, he's not getting this one. Look at that. It's so weird looking.

Yeah, look at it. It's got no brain. Look at the brain of the alligator. You know when you hunt for alligators, you know what you have to do? See that thing right behind their head? You dress up like a turtle? That's where you shoot it. Where?

Like, you see his eyeballs? Yeah. Back up a little bit, James. It's a plate. The plate behind his head. It's like right behind his eyeballs. Yeah, I would go for that. Blam, right there.

Right that spot right there, that's where you want to shoot. That's where Crocodile Dundee stabbed the fucker when he grabbed his girl. Oh, that fucking happened. Yep. They're so creepy. I read that a guy got bit by a crocodile, not a big one, and he reached behind the crocodile, stuck his hand up the

thing's ass, and pulled whatever he could out, and the crocodile let go of him. What? I'll say it again. He reached into its ass? Yep, He reached into its ass? Yep, he reached into its ass. Now, I don't know if that's possible. Let's do the math on that.

This is the one where it crushes the shells. Is that an alligator? That looks like a croc, too. Looks like an alligator. That looks like a croc. Oh. Yeah, this one. I believe they have the strongest bite, the American alligator.

Look at it. It's just smashing right through it. I hope that's not the turtle. Yeah, it is. It is? Have you ever heard him, like, make that noise before? No, but look at the blood. That's the noise?

The turtle's making that noise because it's killing it? Yeah. Holy shit. This is exactly the video I was talking about. Look at it. How are you not? How are you going to eat the shell and everything? Fuck.

Look at it just keeps crushing. What a monster this thing is. Jeez. That's a bird. That's a turtle. Come on, Jamie. Jamie, you fucked up. I'll show you.

I don't want to hear sounds of turtles being tortured, but look at this thing. I don't, but I do. Look at how it's just crushing its body. Look at that blood. That's amazing. And look at his eyes. Just stupid fucking eating machine. Yep.

A dinosaur. That's a straight up dinosaur, huh? I mean, we'd say stupid, but, you know, there's obviously their capacity for being even interested in anything. The giant crocs, I guess, lose their teeth by the time they're like 40. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure that thing's going to lose its teeth, too. They fight other crocs. They get in giant mouth fights.

It's interesting. I mean, that thing serves its purpose. I mean, it really has no need for books. Really, it's not excited by intellectual discourse. No. It's not here to watch good films. The diffusion of innovations, as Hunter would say. Yeah, it's not. The movement of ideas. It's not here for any of that. It's not here to watch good films. The diffusion of innovations, as Hunter would say. Yeah, it's not. The movement of ideas.

It's not here for any of that. It's here for fucking up everything that it can eat. Yeah. That's what it's there for. That's right. And it's because people and things and turtles like to fuck. And if they like to fuck, they make too many of them. So we have to have around crocodiles.

Yeah. And alligators. Yeah. And lions and everything else that eats shit. Driven by one, you know, driven by certain things. We're so, we're, we're so detached from that world. I think that's, I think that's, um, that's the function and the sort of the biggest difference between what it is to be human.

There's a fundamental difference, you know, the human beings who was thinking about how we create beauty for its own sake well why you know a lot of times even at our own expense that famous whether it's true or not the legend of Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel and going blind because the paint was in his eyes inspired by something bigger than himself paint above him he definitely I mean that's like the historical record yeah yeah now part of that's this, you know, people say, well. He just went blind, blamed it on the paint. Well, he was on his back for a long time, but they said, you know, sometimes, well,

human beings have this need to be immortal, right? We want to leave a mark, whether it's through our children or through our work. That's a very deep, deep drive. But I don't like, as I get older, I don't like just, you know, breaking it down to simple constructs like that. Maybe because I'm a romantic. I'd rather believe that we have something inherent in us that is just, I don't know what it is, maybe an inherent inspiration. A nostalgia to create something that's much bigger than ourselves. That moves people to tears, brings them to their knees uh

drops their jaw in awe that stuff is that's what i think is fascinating like i was i was i'm writing back then it was the only way to leave that mark too you have to understand the context of the time yes if you think about today you could write a book you could make a movie you could fucking do a comedy show you could do this this. You could do that. There's so many different avenues. No, but I'm talking also about, I wonder if animals feel like, for example, when you listen to a beautiful piece of music, right? And you're driving down the road and you have, do you ever have that feeling where you, like you go, it's a feeling of like inspiration, right?

So you kind of feel really sad, really happy. You want to love everybody. Right. You know that feeling of wonder? i wonder if animals have anything like that there's no need for it they don't have communication so if you don't have communication they probably don't have these crazy weird fluctuations of their intent and then their their their you know lusts and desires and their their their path is probably much much straighter and truer in a lot of ways. I don't know, man. A lot of intellectual masturbation, I guess, at the end of the day.

But it just seems like the only things that have that capacity are humans and maybe dolphins and orcas and whales. Yeah. We don't know that we haven't figured that out yet. Yeah. They seem to have really strong bonds. Mm-hmm. Huge bonds. Right, with their family. And they do communicate.

That Tilikum, is that how you say his name? The one that died in San Diego? Was it a guy or a girl? The girl. Oh, yeah. It was a guy. It was a guy? Yeah.

Yeah, that whale from Blackfish is dead now. 35 years old. They live to be 80 plus in the wild, folks. You find that acceptable? That's a living thing that is probably as smart as your fucking neighbor. And it's locked in a swimming tank in San Diego. And it's fucked. And now it's dead.

And that thing bred in the wild. It made, I don't remember how many slave babies, but that's essentially what it made, a bunch of slaves. It's fucked. It's fucked. Isn't SeaWorld no longer doing that now They should be in jail They should be arrested you should your your

enslaving Intelligent beings right they just can't talk to you in a way that you should understand So you're profiting off of enslaving intelligent beings and making them do flips This is in 1950 we know what the fuck a dolphin is. We know what an orca is. If you are a person that is breeding those things in captivity, keeping them in swimming pools, it's crazy that it's legal. It's crazy.

What's funny is I didn't know anything. I never thought about that, didn't know that, didn't think that. Would have told you they were probably very happy until Blackfish came out, which I didn't even see because I didn't want to see it. I've had this kid Phil Demers on my podcast a couple times now, and he's from Marineland. He got fired from Marineland, and he has gone way out of his way to expose,

it's in Canada, to expose all of these violations of animal welfare and animal safety and all of the fucking horrible practices that this place now, they're being brought up on charges. They were just recently brought up on more charges. Like he tweeted something about it just a couple of days ago, Marine Lands brought up on more charges. But he was a walrus trainer there, this walrus named Smooshy,

and he developed this really close bond with this walrus that he was training in. But he was like, this place is fucked. They don't give a shit about these things. They don't give a shit about these animals. And they were getting their dolphins and their orcas. They're getting them from these Russian ships that would get them from China. Marineland faces six new animal cruelty charges. Damn.

Fuck that place. Well, for me, seeing how small the tank was for a killer whale to swim in. The charges are related to the treatment of an elk, a red deer, and a fallow deer. What? They have deers roaming around there? Hmm. Whatever. Deers seem less sympathetic to me because they're not as smart. Well, the whole thing is just, it's insane that it is legal to keep dolphins and orcas captive.

It's insane. And whales, too, but obviously whales are too big. It's insane. They're so fucking smart, man. You've seen the image of a dolphin's brain right next to a human's brain. Their brains are bigger than ours. brain right next to a human's brain their brains are bigger than ours like we don't know like we have such a clearly defined standard for what we accept as intelligence send me an email where's your house you know uh you know how much do you make a year what do you do for a living if you're

not if you don't have any of those things you're a fucking barbarian right you're you're you're not really a person like look at that dolphin brain next to a human brain. That's crazy. Potential is different, right? Yeah, but it's not. It's all within the confines of what we think of as civilization. Well, all those things are meaningless to a dolphin. They don't have fingers. They don't need them.

They don't pick things up. They're moved through 3D space in this warm water. They have free food everywhere. They don't have any need for money. There's no need for clothes. So where does the mind go then? Well, I guess the mind goes to camaraderie or culture or songs, those dolphin songs that we don't understand what the fuck they are.

Who knows? I mean, maybe that's where their thought goes. But what we do know is there's a lot of thinking going on. This is not a piece of celery. Yeah. You know, this is not. It's not an animal that should be kept in a pool. It's not even like animals that we really like, like a dog.

Right. No, this is way smarter than a dog. Well, this is an animal that is used to jump through hoops, literally, for fish and to do twirls and stuff. Yeah. And to pull you along as you ride them right or water ski on them and if you take that out of the equation that seems to me to be where sea world makes a lot of their money i've been to that show yeah right so um and when i was watching that show and my kids were all excited i never thought in any way it was cruelty to the animal i just didn't know right it doesn't look

like it right right and so uh but but I think we could do without. We could probably do without, though. They say it raises awareness and stuff like that. Bullshit. We could probably do without. Bullshit. Documentaries raise awareness, and that's why their business is down by a massive, massive amount. That's why they're hurting.

Oh, well, yeah. Their stock didn't really suffer at first. Did you see that? After Blackfish? Yeah. Their stock stayed pretty strong. For how long? For about a year, maybe more.

Their stock was not, it didn't take a hit. And then I guess as time went on. Well, people hear about it on the internet. They start exchanging information, start reading about things that they're doing there, start reading about how long the animals live in the wild versus how long they live in captivity. You see the dorsal fin that flops over because they never have to deal with waves, so it atrophies.

Really? Yeah. Is that what happens? It's ugly. Their dorsal fin becomes like a limp dick. What is it for? It's for steering through the water, for handling waves and correcting your path.

Wow. So for them outside in the wild, it's rigid and powerful, but in this pool where there's no waves, it never gets used. So it flops over. Damn. Yeah. Have you ever seen that?

No. Show an image of it. It's fucking gross. I didn't see that. I couldn't watch the documentary. I was afraid it would make me feel bad. It's like a guy who's not allowed to use his arm. So he has one arm that just withers and the other arm is big.

Yeah. I don't have that problem. You don't want to allow them. I get close to my arms. Oh, fuck. is see oh fuck see how adorable just flops over see how one in the wild has like this big size of that rudder yeah well they need it you know i mean they're dealing with waves yeah can you imagine it's ugly man it's an ugly practice and as much as those things do jump up on that platform and do get that fish and do, do the flips and make everybody happy, it's fucked up. And also I feel like if they really wanted to have a relationship with these orcas, the correct way to do it would be to have some sort of a

meeting ground where they meet these orcas and they get them to do things for fish they get them to do tricks oh so it's so like an open area of the ocean they can go wherever the fuck they want but if they want to come back around and hang out that makes sense you know like maybe we'll get to do an orca show today but maybe you won't but you know but having them in captivity and lifting up a cage and they swim through and all that horse shit yeah that's where it's fucked doesn't everything in the ocean fear the orca? I think pretty much everything. Yeah, they have to.

Even great whites, right? Yeah, they fuck great whites up. They eat them. Because they said that they played, I think Paul DeGelder, who lost his arm and his, or hand and his leg to a bull shark in Sydney Bay, in Sydney Bay doing routine stuff. Is he the guy that has a carbon fiber arm and leg now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty dope. Yeah, he's pretty cool well he squeezed my hand hurt he couldn't really squeeze it's a

$90,000 fake hand whoa yeah and he squeezed it he was at australian navy seal and he feels good to finger somebody i don't know can't right i don't know but maybe that guy who was my school instructor would tell you i mean it just seems like i guarantee i guarantee he's tried it i think at one point yeah for sure he's a good looking guy and there's obviously girls are like well all right let's give it a shot of course what are you not gonna you're not gonna play with a mechanical hand how long before do you think they have those luke skywalker arms arms? Remember when Luke Skywalker got that new arm and it was dope like pretty immediately all I know is I've always been Self-conscious of my left arm why because I feel it's a little skinny Skinnier than your right my right is fucking ridiculous. Look at that shit. But why is it?

Why is it different in my mind it is I have weird shit about my body I have I have a weird thing about this side of my body my left side and I Swear to God Here it is the Star Wars figure I remember this so well I remember this so well He could feel the nerves Yeah

And then he had to close it off That's amazing Yeah man You know who's a big consultant on these movies? Who? Joseph Campbell Really? He was on set too

That makes sense Yeah For all the hero's journey Look at that. Yeah, that's coming. What you're seeing right there. Hell yeah, it's coming. If it's 50 years from now or 80 years from now, whatever it is, the real problem is going

to be when are we just going to be like a spinal cord hooked up to all this stuff? Yeah. Just going to keep replacing shit. I know a lot of people that have fake things, like fake knees and fake shoulders and fake hips. But we like to come back in a lot of ways to the simplicity and the organic. Look at how the food movement, we like to eat on wood. Nothing's really ever replaced the feel of wood or quartz or fur.

That's true. Synthetics have a limit what was that thing about um they were talking about something fascinating about like there's a point where robots oh yeah the guy who created uh who's who i scuba dive with a guy who is the owner of iRobot right so they make all the he builds robots went to MIT and stuff like that really smart guy and he said and i said talk to me about sexual robots. And he said, well, of course I did, because I like to get deep, right? He's this really smart guy.

And I'm like, what about things I can fuck? Hey, bro, I know you got something to vacuum my floor. You got something for my dick? You got something for my dick? Yeah, these little tiny drones are cute. Yeah, they're cute. 4K shoots 4K? I got to cum, all right?

I'm looking to come in a drone. I want to come in a drone. And I said, what about, because you know that's coming. I said, what about fucking a robot? And he said, there's this weird situation where we call it the, I think it was the revulsion factor or the repulsive factor. So human beings, you can get something really close and people will fuck it. Like you can have just a pocket pussy, right? A guy will carry around just like a flashlight

or a gel pussy and bang it in the bathroom in his office break, right? While he watches porn on his phone, whatever it might be. But there's something about a robot when you try to get it really human, apparently from their research, There's something about a robot when you try to get it really human. Apparently, from their research, and I'm not saying this guy comes up,

he's working on sexual robots, but like he said, there's something about creating a robot that's so human-like, but there's just something missing, like the expression in the eyes or whatever. And it gets to a point when you get it as real as possible, like as real as real as possible, people will fuck, fuck, fuck. And then when it gets so real, they'll go, ah, that's not, no, you're trying to be too human. Oh, hold on. You're trying to make eyes that don't, they're not, something's missing.

Something's weird here. Something, and it apparently shuts people off right away. It makes sense. It just would freak you out. Yeah. I mean, you know it's not a person, but it's so close. It's so close. Yeah, why would you get hard for that?

That would be too weird. Well, you would feel so strange if you fucked a robot. You would feel at any moment that thing could kill you. No, but do you ever, exactly. But more importantly. Grab your neck and just start choking you. But wait, more importantly is that. More importantly?

We're talking about fucking robots. You got real delay here. I'm thinking about fighting for my life against this robot I'm trying to fuck. Why do we get low when we start talking about dirty shit? I don't know. Why do girls talk like that when they want to be sexy? Yeah. There's like things that don't work, but people do.

Like, when you talk like this, it's scary. No, it's not. Because I'm drunk. That's not scary. But we've like got it in our head that that's scary. And hey boys, looking for company? Call 1-800-HOT-SLUT. I just like that you immediately, before we got to the fact that it was a girl,

she likes strawberries and what was the other thing? Oh, something else. Gay. Gay. First thing I did, I was immediately. Audrey Hepburn movies. Yeah, Audrey Hepburn movies. I was like, hold on, bro.

Yeah, there's like certain signals that gay guys will just throw up. I'm a huge Cher fan. Gay. Go to a Barbra Streisand concert. Gay. Gay. Gay is everywhere. you know like they're i'm a huge share fan go to a barbara streisand concert gays everywhere yeah well they have you know it's one of the fun things i guess about being gays they have these uh female diva like idols that they worship you know like shares a giant one so in a billion wicked thoughts they they uh it's a really great book written by two neuroscientists. Oh, you're telling me about that.

Yeah, and the average gay penis is a half inch longer than the average straight penis. And also the gay brain, apparently. The gay brain? How dare you, fake scientist. I know. I know. First of all, I'm not a fake scientist. I'm a real scientist.

I'm not a fake scientist. You can take scientist out of that phrase. But what they found is that, so why? Why? Why all these men who love Barbra Streisand? Why are they mostly gay? Why? Why?

Right? And there are, according to the research that I've done in my backyard and from this book, which is a great book, and I got it from, I think it was Gad Saad maybe who was recommending it or talking about it. But no, it was Jordan Peterson. So I read it. But there are fundamental differences with the way a man who's gay's brain reacts to certain things in relation to how the average straight brain reacts to certain things.

This is kind of dicey situation and territory because we don't know all the facts. But according to the other research, why is the gay penis a half inch longer? Apparently, it may have to do with the androgens, the presence of more androgens, I guess, or a type, more testosterone, whatever it is, in the uterus at a certain point in time, which may be why some people are born gay and other people, because it is something you're born with. And some people are born straight. And we're drawing, I'm being very binary here. Do you think, though, that it is possible to be born straight, but somewhere along the lines of your life, become attracted to the

same sex and be gay? I don't know. Maybe. I have no idea. Just trying to pretend he doesn't know. No, I've been trying to say I don't know a lot more ever since Trump won. Because I was very, I was like, let me tell you another reason he's not going to win, guys.

Well, because some people think that you can learn gay behavior, which is why some people are really terrified of gay people. They think they're going to get turned gay. Those people aren't laid in gay. They might be. They might be. I could be around guys fucking all the time. You, yes, you.

But you're not an easily influenced guy in that regard. Like, there are some fucking people out there that you just know you could talk and suck in your dick if you were gay. You just know. They might not be gay. Like Brendan Schaub, for example. Oh, sorry, sorry. How dare you?

Sorry, he's not here to defend himself. I feel like there's a certain percentage of the population that could be shifted around. They'll adopt an English accent if they live in England for a week. You know what I mean? Sure, sure. Like there's a certain percentage. Yeah, yeah. Peer pressure?

Yeah. They'll suck a dick for peer. They'll turn gay to have better friends. So let me ask you this. I believe that. They'll suck a dick to have better friends. I really believe that's true. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it necessarily.

Because why is that any better than being, or worse rather, than being indoctrinated to a certain school of music? Like, oh, we only listen to this kind of rock. Well, you're social. You want to be part of a tribe, right? Why is it any different than a religion or anything else that people get super sucked into and they alter their behavior? I had one gay feeling. A feeling?

A feeling, if I'm really honest with myself. Like flash dance? What a feeling? No, it was when I believed in my heart that me and Tom Cruise were friends. When I got to talk to him for about an hour and a half we were having a really deep discussion and i had of course met him before that because i did a reading with him and we were having this great talk and i was even like teasing him going what's it like to be the king do you just do you have servants i wish i was there joking around no no it was a good conversation wish i was there but i remember thinking to myself if this guy's gay he's very cute right he's got a little face and i thought to myself this guy's gay, he's very cute, right? He's got a little face.

And I thought to myself, if this guy's gay, and he really wanted to be my friend, and I could hang out with him, and I was drunk enough. Do you think he'd take your whole hog in his mouth, though, if he's got a little face? Hey, hey, don't bring it down. Don't worry about that. I didn't talk about my dick here. I'm talking about my mouth, bro. I don't need you talking about dick sucking.

I didn't say that. His face, if it's a small face. Bro. If you're going to pick a guy to fuck, you definitely want one that can blow you. Yes, I need a small head. I'm not attracted to big heads. You don't want a small head, but if it's a big head, then you can get your whole dick in his mouth. Oh, no, no, no.

I like really shoehorning that bad boy in there. Yeah. Now, you're going to have to snake this down. Yeah, you've got to unhinge your jaw here. It's not going to be comfortable. I'm going to scratch it in hard surfaces, man. You want more soft surfaces. Nah, I don't shoehorn it in there.

I'll get some from around your mouth. Why do you think women are sticking stuff into their lips? What are they doing? They're accentuating soft surface area. Yeah. They're trying to get you more excited about them putting your dick in their mouth. I'm also a fan of that, and that's what I'd make Tom do if we were dating. That's coming back, by the way.

Women are shooting their lips up again. It's getting more prevalent. I see it all the time. I don't get it. I don't like it. It's crazy. Yeah. Apparently now they can do it where it's not so hard.

Right. You know, or before they were doing it and the lips would be hard and that kind of freaked people out. I have a problem with the hard lips. It's weird. I've kissed hard lips before. You've kissed fake lips? Yeah.

I don't like them. Well, it's just a bizarre compromise because one of the sexiest things about kissing is like the feeling of someone's lips moving with your lips and their tongue moving with your tongue. And then all of a sudden you have this third partner there, this implant, and you feel it. You're rubbing it around in each other's mouths. And it's like, what is in your lip? But you know what?

You've got lip and then there's like, you've got an Oreo lip. There's a cream filling in this lip. There's some shit going on in there. But they've said that some people are driven by... So if you and I look at a woman, we look at her lips. I love big lips. Soft lips. You look at her breasts.

I think to myself what that would feel like. I guess what triggers me is the idea of what those lips would feel like to kiss or grab and it becomes this primal thing. But they say some people are more drawn, driven by like a visual stimulus. So some guys prefer fake tits. In fact, they even like them to look fake.

They like big lips. Some guys will tell their girls to get big lips. They'll tell their girls to get, you know, big fake tits because they'd rather that. Even though they're hard, they're willing to compromise the feel for the visual. And so depending on what you're driven by, there's a book written about this, and I can't remember the book, but in a very small portion, people are driven by auditory stimulus. So your voice might be enough to get a girl going. You could look like whatever, something that's not attractive, but your voice is what gets her going. So it all depends on what triggers people, what they're overwhelming, uh, sort of

what, what the connection is to their senses. You know, the more, probably the biggest one, the biggest difference between men and women is the desire for a successful companion. Like men don't give a fuck if a woman's successful. No, they don't. At all. I was going to ask you that. What do you think it is? Because it's not just about beauty, going back to that robot thing.

I've dated. We've always had beautiful women in my life, but there's always one you fall on. You're compatible with a lot of women. I've loved many women in my life, but there's something about some women that gets you to shack up with them. Well, the same thing with friends, too. It's like, why did you and I become instant best friends? Right. Like, right away.

Like, I met you when we were on the set of Mad TV, and within like 20 minutes, we're like, oh, you're one of me. Let's stay together. Let's stick together. Yeah. We're going to be okay. Uh-huh. Finally, I found one.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I mean, we've been best friends from that moment on like literally we were close immediately but there's other people that you meet and you're like fuck let me get out of here and they might be fine and someone might say oh my god have you met Mike he's amazing

and you're like yeah Mike's a good guy I'm bored but yeah you're bored I'm bored I don't want to do it it's personalities who you are would drive some people fucking crazy. Your wife loves it. It's like who you are versus who they are. Sometimes it goes like this.

And the fingers of the hand fit into the fingers of the other hand and everything's great. Chemical. And other times it's just they're clashing teeth. You ever kiss somebody and clash teeth? You're like, what in the fuck are we doing here? Yep. Neither one of us know what the hell we're doing. Clink.

How are you not in my rhythm? Some people, it's just perfect. Yes. And some people, the sex is like that too. It's like it's rhythmic. It moves. It flows. And other people, it's just clunky.

That's right. And it's the same person. You're the same person. And for whatever reason, it might not be them. It might be you. It might be the two of you together. You just fucking and that I think that that's part of the mechanism that makes this weird world work. Human beings, the way I view them are a gigantic super organismence overview of the human race, that's what I would say. And I think that somewhere along the line, our individual personalities and our individual hobbies and obsessions and desires, all of those, although they appear to be coming from us uniquely and us as an individual, and even though we relate to tribes who are also into, you know, whatever, jujitsu or kettlebells or ballet or whatever the fuck it is. Ultimately, all these pieces fit into place as these portions of this super organism that make things flow in a forward direction. And whether you're obsessed with architecture or whether you're obsessed with

achieving peak fitness or running a thousand miles in an hour. Whatever the fuck it is, all of those things are working together collectively in the entire super organism of the human race. And they're working towards some sort of a technological goal. Because the technological world and the world of technological innovation is slowly but surely integrating itself into our lives. If we looked at it objectively, we'd be like, whoa, this is like a life form that's asking to be born from the husks of human civilization. Like it's going to go inside of us, and it's going to give birth like some sort of aquatic worm

that comes out of a fucking grasshopper and talks into jumping into a pond. Well, I just think it's interesting that human beings are spending enough time creating virtual experiences so that eventually, if you look at the trajectory of this and the technology at play, you're going to be able to have experiences

of what it's like to be someone else. Yeah, for sure. So if you can download it into their brain or whatever, we're already, there's this thing called the Empathy Project, I think, where you go to a room and they bring the Syrian refugee crisis to you. So you put on a virtual, these virtual goggles and you're inside the tent of a refugee family in a refugee camp. Kids are playing. Wow.

The mom and dad are there cooking food and you can see it. You can hear it. You can hear it. You can feel it, and they're all around you. It's three-dimensional, and it gives you a sense. What program is this for? It's a program. It's a museum. It's a museum.

There you go. I love the way you did it. Collection of virtual reality experiences to help us see the world through the eyes of another. This is a beautiful idea. Yeah. What an amazing idea. Yeah. So what happens is-

Hold on. Back that up. Back that up so I can read it, because this sounds- Back it up. The video, I can't. Yeah, but you can back up the video, no? No. You can't rewind it? No. Oh, it's the video on their website? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. And isn't that amazing? So now you can experience what it's like to be someone else who's been through a hard time and realize in many ways that they're very human. Well, I have all these emotional triggers around Arabs and stuff because I grew up in the Arab world and they are very much people to me,

right? The Middle East, this strange place with all those fanatics. When you grow up there the way I did, you lived there for eight years of your life, you have a very different point of view on the Middle East and Arabs. What I think of when I think of Arabs is I see a smiling face and a welcoming mat.

I see somebody who's making me tea and bringing me into their house and giving me Arabs is I see a smiling face and a welcoming mat. I see somebody who's making me tea and bringing me into their house and giving me food. I see a group of them who are laughing their ass off and having a blast. And I see people hugging and holding hands. That's just how I grew up. So I have an emotional trigger when I hear people stereotype Arabs in a certain way, right? It's just an interesting thing. So I think that's because I had that virtual experience. And I love this idea because as we are able to experience what it's like to be someone else and realize how similar they are to us, despite all the cultural differences, hopefully it'll make for at least a more...

You know what the problem with all this is? Yeah, it'll make for a more understanding world until I got to compete for fucking water and my daughter's thirsty. Now I'm going to have to off you. Well, it seems like there's plenty of water. I think the biggest problem that we've got right now is that we've been going through a war with the Middle East for 13 years. And when you go through a war for 13 years, what is the time? Say if you do something, like if you're on heroin for six years, how long does it take for that to the effects of your body to bounce back from being on heroin for

six years? Because it's not going to be a week, right? Is it going to be a year, a couple of years? Is it going to be half the time? Is it going to be three years? Whatever it is, you got to think of a war as being something like some sort of horrible trauma to an organism. It takes a generation at least. It's like a scar that has to heal over and it has to be worked on.

I mean, you have many generations that are going to remember Grandpa getting blown up when he was in a wedding party because they thought that he was with… Talk to the Jews about the genocide, about the Holocaust. Talk to the Armenians about the genocide in 1914 or 18, whenever it was. Yeah. They're still out in the street. Of course. Right?

What's it, Dan Carlin talks about how there's such fresh memories. Even if you say to a Chinese person that you have a point of view on sort of the benefits of Mongol expansion, even though that was 1260 or whatever it was, you'll get a lot of Chinese ire. You'll get a lot of people. It's still somehow fresh. That trauma lasts and is passed down through generation to generation. Yeah. I mean, if you've ever been to Japan, one of the things that people always talk about is how the older Japanese people do not like Americans. And why fucking would they?

You know, we dropped two nuclear bombs on their little tiny ass country. Yeah. Yeah. I think that it's super hard to erase the memory of horrific events in the 13 years of war, no matter whose side you're on. That is a horrific event. It's all in this one area. So that's going to take a long time before we can look at Arabs the way you look at Arabs from being there.

Of course. And that's unfortunate, man. And it's unfortunate because it's one of those self-perpetuating things. Like if you're afraid of people, if you think people are out to get you, then they become out to get you. You realize that you're taking these big, giant steps to keep them away from you. You're prejudiced against them, and they're going to be upset that you're prejudiced against them. But I love Americans because Americans always go out of their way. All Americans go out of their way to be like, I don't care.

There's this idea that all the Trump supporters are these fanatics and they're anti this and that. I guarantee, I guarantee that the majority of people in all the states, the red states, would give any Syrian or Arabic guy as Americans. I guarantee the credo would be, hey, they're human beings. I'm willing to give them a chance. If they're, hey, they're human beings. I'm willing to give them a chance. If they're good people, they're good people. There's this idea that they're terrorists, these motherfuckers, and I'm just an ignorant guy with a gun. I don't buy that. I don't buy that.

Well, there's definitely a lot of people like that. There are a lot of people like that. But on an individual basis, I guarantee most people are intelligent enough to go, I'll take them as it comes. I treat individuals the way they are. I think we are tribal. I think everybody has their own racial prejudices and things like that. But I think it's way more layered and nuanced and more complicated. It is for a lot of people.

But for a lot of people, people are really fucking simple. And their ideology says that Christianity is the only way and this ideology of the Muslims is dangerous and the Prophet Muhammad was a dangerous person. These are dangerous people. We let them over here. We're taking a big chance. America will land a free home with a brave freedom.

That may be the collective dialogue. I don't think that's the individual. For example, I think most of them, if somebody was Arabic and they had an opportunity to alleviate their suffering by bringing them into their house and giving them a meal. I think you watch too many Bruce Willis movies in the don't think so i think i think the most of them would do it i really do well i think most of them if they knew the people for sure i think overcoming

prejudices against cultures or religions or anything are very difficult to do because once those things are set in stone it's like your body has a warning pattern that it's looking for like oh these this pattern's repeating itself. We've seen this before. This is religious fundamentalism. This is people that are crazy. They're going to blow themselves up. Well, and to an extent, you know, that's not misplaced.

So, you know, when I hear of a bomb going off or a guy driving a truck and running over 80 people in France, my first guess, and I'm always right, is that he's probably a young Muslim male. That doesn't make me anti-Muslim. It doesn't make me anti-Arab. It just means I'm pretty good or not even, I don't have to be that good at pattern recognition. Yeah. Well, we also have to really take into consideration the sheer numbers of human beings that we're dealing with on a daily basis. Where are you getting the news from? You're getting the news from the events that happened to 7 billion people. And that's just way too many for us to make rational discussions about it. Because rationally, you shouldn't know about what the fuck is happening in France. You shouldn't know

that some Muslim guy drove a truck over all these people. You're not there. Right. Right. And there's nothing you can do about it. And you know how many other Muslim men didn't run over somebody with a truck that day? So that's where it gets weird. Yeah. Because you don't even take those people into consideration when you're talking about Muslim males. You're only talking about those one males. Yeah. It's like gun owners.

Like people have this idea of gun owners. Well, gun owners are a bunch of fucking paranoid nuts with canned food in their basement. They're buying gold from Alex Jones. No, no, no. Occasionally, one of those guys shoots up a school. Yep. Occasionally. Yep.

But you know how many people own guns? There's more guns in this country than there are fucking people. Oh, yeah. So if we really had like this crazy gun problem, things would be going off way more than they do. It's remarkably safe considering the amount of fucking firearms are available. Remarkably. Incredibly.

Like almost every day of your life you go through town and you don't hear a single gunshot. But that's also going back to what I was saying about when somebody owns a gun, like Rose McGowan says, somebody says smile, and she immediately says, I'm putting words into her mouth, but this is essentially what she said in the interview, And she immediately says, I'm putting words into her mouth, but this is essentially what she said in the interview, that that guy is being in one way or another sexist or being in one way or another somewhat oppressive and suppressive. I'm sure she feels that. What I'm saying is that for that guy, he may just be clumsily trying to say hi to some of the most beautiful creatures he's ever seen in his life. The same way with gun owners.

Gun owners a lot of times— But hold on. Let me stop you there because couldn't it be both things? It could be both things. To him, it could be this one thing, but to her... Look, if you're really into raping girls, and it makes you feel awesome, and you don't want them to feel like it's rape, but it is. No, no, no. 100%

that they're always... I'm not equating those two, but I'm just saying that there could be two different things going on. His intention, and the actual result. Yes, 100%. I'm just saying, when you these blanket statements, like so when men own guns, right? If you hear the dialogue on the left a lot of times, it's like, well, you know, these gun nuts or these gun owners who are into all this other stuff, this macho stuff. Or a lot of men own guns. A lot of men.

It's going to sound crazy. A lot of men own guns, like me, because it's the most effective way to protect my family in case somebody comes in my house in the middle of the night. That's actually something I think about. It's something I'm ready for.

It's something I prepare for. Okay, let's settle down. A lot of men do, though. I'm crazy. I'm just saying, at the end of the day. Brian only practices escape routes. He's got paths for ambushes.

He's got pinch points in his house. I like pinch points in his house. I like pinch points. What the fuck is a pinch point? Pinch point is when you know people have to travel through a corridor. That's great. Yeah, so if like the movie 300. Fuck, I have no pinch points. You know, the movie 300, the Persians had to come to that area.

The hot gates, Thermopylae. Yeah, exactly. That's a pinch point. Dude, I need some hot gates. I need some pinch points. It's a good place to set up a tree stand if you're hunting deer. Yes. Or to go through the pinch point. If they have to make their way out stand if you're hunting deer. Yes. I want to go through the pinch point.

If they have to make their way out into the field. I feel the best. They have to go through the woods. I feel very, my house, my next house is going to be just a fucking series of pinch points. Oh. Where are you going to move to? Somewhere where there are a lot of pinch points, bro. Are you going to stay in California forever?

Probably. Hmm. I just, no. Let me say it. Let me put it this way. I want to just stand up forever Forever Yeah

I'm never gonna stop Wow I remember when you Weren't doing it at all Well I do it all the time And I never stop doing it It's my favorite thing in the world

But you did stop once I don't know what I don't know what you're talking about I don't remember That was a long time ago That was a different guy That was a guy That was a different guy

I'm acting like you dated my sister That was a guy You broke up with her bro You might be used to date. You broke up with her, bro. You might be back with her, but you broke up with her, bro. Don't we do that, though? There's something about stand-ups. When you find out that somebody quit stand-up, you're like, oh, what happened? Right.

What kind of life do you have now? Right. I just thought of that. Fuck, that's funny you say that. What kind of life do you have now? I just thought of thought of that. Fuck, that's funny you say that. What kind of life do you have now? I just thought of somebody like that. I was like, what happened to that guy? He was doing a lot of stand-up, and you stopped?

I know, man. Like, you and I had a great fucking time last night at the Comedy Store. Go down there. Sold out. Killer show. It was so much fun. What a blast that was. Powerful Sam Tripoli.

By the way, a monster. Nobody knows how good he is. How good is he? He'll kill you. He'll kill you. I brought him with me on the way, a monster. Nobody knows how good he is. How good is he? He'll kill you. I brought him with me on the road once in Edmonton. He lit that place on fire. He's getting ready for his CD that he taped in Edmonton. He taped a CD at that club there.

What's the club in Edmonton? It's called the Comic Strip. Yeah, that spot. Rick Bronson, great club. We did the casino up there in Edon, where they always have fights. And fucking, what's the name of it? I know.

River Creek. River Creek. Awesome place. And dude, he lit it on fire. Lit that place on fire. He's a beast. Yeah.

I call him the monster. He can destroy. I had a tie on last night. Yes, you did. I went to Afghanistan with that guy. Did you really? I've got his son.

Whoa. Me, him, and Dov Davidoff, and Steve Byrne. Any gay stuff happen? I'm not going to go into that. May have met some soldiers. I was their traveling concubine in there. And they showed me what a pinch point is.

Whoa. Yeah. This is a pinch point right here. I'm going to peel this peach right here. He's breathing on my neck. Same guy took me a scuba diving. No. I'm Tahitian.

Yeah, it was pretty interesting. But Sam would get up and he would open for us. We'd go out there. He just gave him a mic and a little box and it was like, that's awkward

with all these soldiers sitting around in a war zone. That dude lit it up every fucking time. But one of the things about Sam is he, like a lot of comedy store comics, has done that room

when there was zero crowd control. And he would get a lot of late spots so you learn that combat comedy style combat comedy so he's like probably more confident and comfortable when shit goes crazy when people start yelling at him like oh been here before here we go i know you ain't been here but i've been here yes let's roll buddy yes my favorite was sam is he's always changing his face his his look he's got a goatee he's got a mustache got a

full beard got no beard. And I'm like, shaved up. He goes, switched up sometimes. Got to switch it up. Like to switch it up sometimes. Then he grabs my body and he goes, how the fuck do you do it? How do you do it? You got the best body in comedy.

I go, Joe Rogan has the best body in comedy. And then I walk away. I love him. He loves you. I got to get him on the podcast. He's a good dude. The fighter and the kid. Not the Brian Callen show? Not the Brian. We call it mixed mental arts now. That's what you're calling it now on the podcast he's a good dude the fighter and the kid not the Brian Callen show

we call it mixed mental arts now that's what you're calling it now? I think it's better mixed mental arts because Hunter was like it's a great name yeah because

mixed mental arts is better and we've been having these great conversations and Hunter was like let's stop being so myopic let's just get all the ideas under one umbrella let's make ideas accessible

it's a bold ambitious project but he's like I want to make sure everybody knows that there's no such thing as being smart. We can all know these ideas and have a constructive conversation. Well, he's got a great attitude about it. And that really is the approach, too, that it's not about smart. It's about information.

Like, I've had conversations with people about something, and I'll explain something to them. They go, God, I feel so stupid. Like, you're not stupid. Like, I'm not smart. I just know this. And the reason why I know this is because somebody figured it out,, I feel so stupid. Like, you're not stupid. Like, I'm not smart. I just know this. And the reason why I know this is because somebody figured it out and I bothered reading it. That's it.

That's it. But we like hold that over people's heads with like such extreme arrogance because so many people want to cling to almost anything as like a sign of superiority, whether it's information that they have, accomplishments that they've done, the money that they have in the bank, whatever the fuck it is. Like they always constantly want to have this thing that separates them from you. Right. You know?

And that's one thing that people love to do with information. Well, if you had known, if you had read this, then you would know that. How about you cut this shit and just tell me that. Tell me it. And I'll have a, but there's also this thing that we all do and that you and I have worked very hard to stop doing over the last decade or so, which is to try to win conversations. Yes. Because it's a fucking horrible impediment to learning anything.

Exactly. The best way to have a conversation is, I mean, challenge ideas for sure, but just talk. Yeah. Just talk. Like if someone's telling you something and you have a question, don't look at it like you're attacking it. Look at it like, what is this we're discussing? What is this actual thing? You know that weird thing that people do when they shut down and you know that they're not

really discussing what you're saying. They're just trying to find a way where they could win the conversation. Yeah, because their point of view makes them feel a certain way. Yes. If you start to break down those walls, they're afraid you're going to take away that feeling of security or whatever that feeling is. And the confidence in being consistently right. That's right. That's a big one.

Yes. So when someone's not right about something, like I have a good friend who's an animal rights activist guy, vegan guy. activist guy, vegan guy. And we were talking about the precursors for hormone development and whether or not saturated fat and cholesterol are the essential precursors to hormone development. Well, it's pretty much established fact, like scientific fact. And he didn't think it was because he was reading a lot of this ideological dogma on it, plant-based

dogma. So I started sending him all the stuff. And then he's like, okay, I got it. All right. And now it has to soak in. Now we can have a discussion about it. Well, look at all these studies. Look at all these things.

We're not saying you should go out and be an animal eater. No one's saying that. No, but look at the evidence. Look at the data. Look at what it actually is. Right. And look what... This is the actual problem with the China study. This is the actual problem with not getting enough B12.

This is the actual problem with not getting enough of this vitamin, that data. Saturated fat, cholesterol, all these fucking things that we were told as kids are bad for you. Right. Which is a huge problem because most people don't learn anything about nutrition past what they learn in school. I mean, that's pretty much it. Well, one of the biggest things for me is just having been around Hunter as much as I have, and we always talk about how, and I've had to confront so much of this in my own ways, I have a fast-thinking brain.

We all do, right? That fast-thinking brain that jumps at, that triggers at things. If you start talking about liberalism, if you start talking about big government, if you start talking about communism, Marxism, I'll get... What happens is I'll get ready to defend my free market, American- Fox News. Fox News. Why don't you have a show on Fox News?

I'm defending my dad. That's what I'm doing. Ah, that's it. Right? I have an emotional attachment to that. So I'll stop listening to you about five seconds in and I've already got my guns I'm already loading my guns as you're talking. I'm going hold on. Let me get my guns so much Yeah, I hear and now I can't wait to blast away at your your collective ideology, right?

And then I'll drop books like FAA hikes this road to surf them and all the things I've read and all I want to do Is win right and so I've had, and we always talk about this, like Hunter will send me articles that'll get me enraged. Enraged. And I'll freak out and I'll write this thing and he'll get me and he'll go,

feel better, Brian? Now do you want to tranquilize that big, fast-thinking elephant that you've been riding? And let's get some slow thinking involved and take a look at what, how your feelings

are driving your thinking. It's very, it's a very fun exercise because as you get older, what happens is you're able to sit back and somebody says something and you're able to go, instead of me loading my guns, let me listen a little bit hard. Let me see if I can get, take something from that.

Maybe there is a good argument. Maybe there, I don't have to be a Marxist, but maybe there is some value to regulation. Maybe there is some value to the FDA or whatever it might be. I've been reading- So you have free market sort of prejudices in that regard, where you lean towards deregulation, lean towards a freer market because more money gets made, business does better. I lean toward freedom of choice.

So I like the idea. Right. But environmental regulation is where I draw the line. Me too. That's like the big one. That's a classic example. The Fish and Game Wildlife, what is it? The Wildlife, the Fish and Game?

Department of Fish and Game. Excellent job. Yeah. I don't care what anybody says. You and I know, and you know even more than I do, of course. And the states as well. They all deserve recognition. Fuck yes.

Because they've brought animals back from the brink of extinction to gigantic populations. Because dudes get drunk and they shoot the shit out of everything that moves. That's what happens. Well, it was actually market farming. Market farming is what did in most of the animals in this country. After the war, one of the things that happened was there was a lot of soldiers after the Civil War that needed jobs. And one of the jobs that was available was market farming. What does that mean?

It means they didn't have refrigerators back then, buddy. So if you wanted meat, you had to go out and get it. And so one of the things they would do is they would hire these young men to take their rifles and go out and shoot every fucking buffalo that moved. They would shoot buffaloes just for their tongues. They would cut out the tongues of the buffaloes. They would shoot other ones just for their pels. They'd shot down everything in sight down to antelope.

It was harder to shoot antelope and kill them off because they're designed to have things like cheetahs chasing them. Yeah, smaller. They keep a long distance. Well, they're way faster than anything that can catch them because they evolved during a time where cheetahs lived in North America. Big cats lived in North America that were bigger than lions and African lions. So when you're thinking about these times and these people that wiped out all the animals

in this country, there was a host of factors, a bunch of different pressures on these animals. But a lot of it was market hunting. Yeah. And so when hunters came along, like in the beginning of the 20th century, there was very few deer. And to find like a big deer with like a giant rack, super rare. like a giant rack, super rare. Elk had been extirpated from a gigantic segment of the population or a gigantic segment of the country. And so they've slowly repopulated in these groups like the Rocky Mountain Elk Federation.

They've transplanted elk down to Kentucky and everywhere else. Yeah, deer are so plentiful also because they eat corn and a lot of the agricultural crops that we've planted. That is true, and that's also why whitetail deer have done so much better than mule deer. Mule deer are kind of in a much hairier position. They still have healthy populations. They still hunt them. You find them everywhere.

But mule deer, they don't live off crops. Whitetail deer is like our friend Doug Duren's farm. Doug has this awesome place in Wisconsin. Shout out to Doug. He like our friend Doug Duren's farm. Doug has this awesome place in Wisconsin. Shout out to Doug. Powerful Doug Duren. He has, essentially, they're farm animals, but they're not. They're wild. They're these giant-ass wild deer,

but they only go around his farm or farms in the area because there's corn everywhere. Corn-fed deer. Some of the best meat I've ever had, by the way. Incredible. You're literally getting... like, they're eating that fucking Monsanto corn. Did you bring me any elk? I got a fucking

freezer full of them. I need some, for real. I got a freezer full. I eat game meat. Okay, I'll give it to you. Okay, don't let me leave without it. Come on! I eat game meat. We need to hunt more. Yeah, and that's the other thing. See, you didn't get balls deep like I did. I'm tired of all the fucking talk about, listen, you went hunting with me once, and then you did it a couple of times.

I've been hunting three times, motherfucker. But you never got crazy with it. I got crazy with it. I'm really missing hunting. I said it to my wife yesterday. But I miss the hangout. You don't care. We have a great time.

I started thinking I did something wrong. How much fun did we have? Did we not laugh the whole time? We struck out twice and had a great time. We still laughed. We had a fucking wonderful time. I struck out the last time I went with Rinella. When We struck out twice and had a great time. We still laughed. We had a fucking wonderful time. I struck out the last time I went with Rinella. When are we going hunting?

Had a great time. When are we going hunting? You're hiking with him because he likes to suffer, and I'll hike with him. No, no, no. You've got to come with us. We've got to figure out a spot where we could go, where we have a reasonable chance of success, because you always want the option, the possibility rather of failing. You really do.

You don't want to go hunting. You don't want to shoot fish in a barrel. No, no to go i like looking and you know and what he does it is the best way honestly i've hunted a bunch of different ways the most satisfying way and the way that feels the best to me is public land you know because you get a tag you know you get a over-the-counter tag you go on public land you hunt an animal you kill you eat it everybody sits down over the fire and it's one of the best moments in life. Yes. Yeah. Ronell is a master. You know, he really has a lot of the aspects of life worked out in, you know, in like, as far as like being a sportsman in the 21st century and being a spokesperson for it. Right. Cause he's

so well read and he's so smart and he so articulate and reasoned like when he makes discussions and has debates with people about it his his approach is so intelligent it's very rare that you find someone in that world that's so good at expressing themselves yeah he's amazing that way he's so knowledgeable he's always got something to surprise you yeah so I always got something to say but we got to go we should go I want to maybe go elk hunting or something. I know you bought me a bow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you won't have me over to shoot it. We're going to set you up with a new one. The one I gave you. Why? Got it a year and a half ago. I don't care. What's wrong with that one? They have new ones. They're better.

I'm not getting a new one. I'm sticking to the one you gave me. I'm not trading my unused bow. My brand new graphite dust on it still bow. It's carbon. Yeah, you have a carbon spider. It's a really good bow. Yeah, well, believe me, I'll be saying it's a carbon spider.

Yes. It's a very hoid carbon spider. It's called a carbon spider. Yes. Okay, I was going to say it was made of carbon spider. S-P-Y-D-E-R. I don't know why. They use the word spider for like a Porsche Boxster spider.

Yeah. S-P-Y-D-E-R. I don't know why. They use that word spider for Porsche Boxster Spider. S-P-Y-D-E-R. I don't know why. So it's for certain cars that are convertibles, but it's also for that bow. Maybe it's a trademark thing. Maybe the spider lobby. But it's a really good bow. The Hoyts are the best.

There's like three or four really good bow manufacturers, but it's generally... There are six-year listeners like, oh, he gets into fucking bows. Generally thought of that it's Hoyt and Matthews are the top bows in the world. Those are the only fucking bows I'll shoot. Elite, and then there's Bowtech, which is also really up there, too. And it really depends

on who you ask. I'm a Hoyt guy. Yeah, I'm a Hoyt guy, dude. Can't get any better. There's nothing better than a Hoyt. It's Matthews. The question is, if you talk to guys like John Dudley, he'll say that Hoyts are better. He said that, in his opinion, and he knows way more than me, he thinks that Hoyts are the best bows in the world. So I just listen to him.

And Cameron Haynes says the same thing. So I go, well, there you go. Well, those two guys would know. Nobody knows more about bow hunting than Cameron Haynes. Now, are you only into bow hunting now? Are you not interested in a scope? No, I'm into meat from animals. Okay.

So I will shoot, like if I need meat and I'm running low on meat, I'll hunt an animal with a rifle. Okay. But what I'm really into, man, is archery. I love archery, even if I never bow hunted again. And even if I just hunted with a rifle because it was too hard to bow hunt, which it's not, and I will bow hunt again for sure. But archery is, to me, it's like a meditation. Archery is a martial art in a lot of ways, but it's a stillness martial art. It's a martial art where you're perfecting one move, this one move of having your arm out in front of you, your hand is like in a halt position, like that's where it is, and then the bow doesn't pass over the lifeline.

You want it on this side of the lifeline. So it never goes deep in your grip, so you're not torquing your wrist. So it's basically just balanced up against your hand. Right. And then you're pulling back, and you're locking in your anchor point, and you're looking through your peep sight, and all you're concentrating on is pulling back your scapula and releasing that arrow without moving at all. Now, what about one motion?

How bent is your- Straight. It's straight. But last time I did that- You can bend it a little bit. Last time I did that, the cord hit my fucking hand and I- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're all out.

It hurts so badly. You're supposed to be like this. I'm very expressive though. The string passes right by. I've hit my forearm before. It hurts like a motherfucker. It's supposed to be like this. I'm very expressive, though. If you're like this, the string passes right by. I've hit my forearm before. It hurts like a motherfucker. It's going to hurt a little bit. Yeah, but you shouldn't ever hit your forearm.

If you're shooting correctly, you'll be in a position where the big toe of your foot lines up with the ball of your rear foot. So your front foot, big toe, and your rear foot's ball. And that gives you a slightly open stance, very slightly. Just think about it like martial arts because i love this stuff i love i love technique like that when you talk about from dudley because john dudley from he's got a podcast that if you want to super geek out about archery it's a podcast called knock on and the knock on podcast is john's podcast where he discusses like intricate details about cam timing and arrow weights and and uh front of center uh like how much uh how much kinetic energy each arrow has based on what

percentage of weight is in the front of the arrow it's like see what i love about that is when you master something like dudley in a a way, you learn everything. Like in a way, you're learning so much about life, maybe everything that's relevant about life in some ways. I know you're going to get orthodox in your thinking, your brain patterns will be a certain way. But like when you start talking that way and he's thinking about like grade and weight and aerodynamics and like he's got to learn. Yeah. It's a great discipline. What archery really is is a rabbit hole.

Some people go down that rabbit hole, and they go, fuck this rabbit hole, and they get like an old-school recurve bow and just learn instinctive shooting. And they just get into just releasing the arrow on their own and knowing. It's almost like you throw a rock. If you throw a rock, you know what your arm feels like. You kind of know where that rock's going to go. And then you get pretty accurate about throwing rocks. But if you want to get really accurate, you've got to throw rocks every day.

And that's the same thing with recurve bows. If you have the exact same weight arrow, so if you have a stack of these arrows and you shoot, you know that if you bend it this way and you pull it back to here, it goes that far. Okay. I'll say, well, if the animal's here, then I've got to aim here. And you just develop this scale in your own mind of where the arrow's going to go. Right. But it's not that accurate.

It's like, if you hunt an animal with a recurve, like I've watched hunting shows where people hunt animals with recurves. A lot of wounding of animals. There's a lot of sketchy shots. Yeah. Whereas like, if you watch like John Dudley puts out some videos of some of the hunts he's on, they're all getting shot through the heart. Right.

Like, 99% of the animals, like, they don't even know what happened, and then they're dead. It's interesting, though. Like, I was thinking about this because I've been obsessing over boxing, you know, lately. And I like, the reason I like to spar is I don't get, you know, I'm not knocking my head off and stuff. And, like, Brendan's always like, don't spar and stuff. But for me, what I really love is the same thing I loved about taekwondo, which is that with boxing, it seems so impossible when you first started. And then like two years, two and a half

years later, if you're actually sparring and moving around with people, you'll start developing patterns. If you have a good teacher and you'll start to learn how to get somebody to think one thing, right? So you jab and you jab low, then you fake Joe and you, and maybe fly into a hook or whatever. And you learn how to protect yourself. And you can start developing your own sort of similar patterns that aren't, it's a different discipline than archery because archery seems so kinetic and detailed, right? Boxing is more kinetic. It's more, but- Well, there's more options in boxing.

Yeah, there's a lot of strategy. There's a lot of split second timing. There's a lot of getting your opponent to—you're fooling him, really. You're getting him to think you're doing one thing and then capitalizing on sort of— you're saying, ah, you thought I was doing this, and I'm doing this. There's a different kind of thing. But what I love about all of it is almost like it's not even so much about the doing of itself. That's always awesome but

i think what i really get off on sometimes is the discovery is the is the learning maybe how to control something that seems so out of control and and and sort of the discovery the continual discovery of new things and maybe what it does to my brain. Like maybe, maybe that's what I like. Like the, the, the mindset it puts me in and the understanding it gives me. And maybe even the fact that it raw, it takes away the, some of the mystery I was living under, which I felt was right. Right. Like learning one new thing.

Now that one new thing is unearthed. Now I understand that a little bit better. I got a little bit more data. Yeah, for sure. And now I'm not as intimidated by anything. Like if I meet somebody who's quote unquote really smart and good at one thing, whether it's a surgeon or a brain surgeon or a scientist or a really good fighter. Well, a really good fighter. I've talked to Joe Schilling about this and to Donald Cerrone about this.

You know, I was talking about patterns. I'd come up with this. I was talking about this pattern I had. And he goes, yeah. And Schilling said, so we'd have, so the difference is I'd probably have 30 of those patterns that I have deep in my memory. It's like Roberta Duran.

I can't remember who's fighting him, but he came back and he said, the fucking guy can read my mind. And I think it was his trainer said, he's not reading your mind. What he's doing is that he knows those patterns so well, and he sees you about to set him up and he's, and he's beating you to it. You know? And when I watched, uh, Henner Gracie tie up, tie up the likes of Brennan Schaub and Lyoto Machida and

all kinds of guys in there. And I watched him just do whatever he wanted starting on his back. And I was like, I was like i was like dude you're you're anticipating their movements you already see what their patterns are because you're ahead of them and it takes a little bit you're not going to be as reverential you're going to be you're going to love the fact that life is that way that the universe can be that way that if you practice something enough and you get good enough at something it can seem like what you do is magic almost. Right? But it's not.

It's just that you have learned how to chunk large portions of information and you learn how to be ahead of somebody. And more importantly, when you play somebody at the same game, you're going to see the tendencies. They're going to make tendencies and you're going to beat them to those tendencies. You're going to be able to head them off. Why? Because you've been there a thousand times because you went through

the same thing and the difference between your practicing beginner mind and your mastery mind in that context is vastly different and i can always tell somebody who's mastered something versus somebody who's never taken the time to really get good at something. I can always tell the difference. And I prefer to be around, not always, not always, because I got some real moron friends that are so much fun. But I typically tend to find more intimacy in conversation with people that have at least continued to endeavor down the road to mastery. Well, there's very few people that can talk to them. If you're going to talk to a real master about something, pull someone aside and talk to them about their craft, about achieving an incredibly high level at a very difficult discipline,

like a master chess player, for instance, how many people do they have to talk to? Say if Garry Kasparov is at a restaurant and somebody wants to have a conversation with him about food stamps or fucking insurance sales. Or just gossip, Hollywood gossip fucking or just Hollywood gossip, Hollywood gossip, right?

Whatever happened to Taylor Swift? Yeah. Like that kind of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Or he says something innocuous. Like I can't believe what John did. Like,

so he was, so I was walking down and then he said, I was going to grab this package and he had it. Right. Or someone sits next to him and it's Sam Harris and Sam Harris and Gary Kasparov have this deep, intense conversation. Exactly. That fills a void inside of their souls.

Right. Like fills them up. Right. Yeah. And it's really hard to find someone that can play ping pong with you, like intellectually at that level. Well, because maybe it goes back to the same thing we were talking about. They're able to have a real discussion and they're not as attached to their prejudices.

Right. Right? Because they tend to be, like Sam Harris is like if you listen to sam harris talk about trump his critique is so fair it's so it's so interesting like he's got these great metaphors and stuff but it's not driven by dogma it's not driven by my team is right and your team is wrong he's he's able to be more objective he's more humble like way Like Wayne McCullough, who's my trainer, my boxing trainer, like, you know, former world champion. He's been through it.

When you're a world champion like that, he's the most humble motherfucker on the planet. He'll hold mitts for everybody. Yeah, he's a really good guy. He'll wrap your hands. He's the greatest guy in the world. And he doesn't get the respect. Nobody knows what he accomplished as a boxer.

It drives me fucking crazy, but that doesn't matter to that fucking guy. He'll give you everything. He's a really level-headed guy. Oh, amazing. He's amazing. Really good. Great character.

One of my favorite people on the planet. Yeah. I love that motherfucker. And he's an amazing boxer in his day. God. And a great teacher. And a very lightweight guy. So those lightweight guys are the ones that have the real technical skill and footwork

and movement. Yes. Yeah. Yes. So he teaches you boxing? Yeah. That's pretty cool. He's my guy.

Yeah, man. He even moves around with me. I'll put on gloves and, you know, it's funny how he may be small like that, but good luck trying to hit him. Yeah, well, good luck. Yeah. When he catches you in the body and you make your 15 mistakes. I love it, though. It's so humbling.

Do you think you'll ever get to jujitsu again? I am dying to it seems like to me like that one you could kind of you could actually do it in a way where you're not

going to get hurt that's the big difference between striking and wrestling and grappling I love grappling it's what I started

with and I miss it and I love it I like the way it makes my body feel and everything else and grappling like jiu jitsu you can get really

good and you can roll with top-level guys. When you box, and if you want to get good, you've got to spar. And every time I spar with, you know, I'm not sparring tough guys. I'm sparring pros like my buddy Brandon Adams who can do whatever he wants to me. He's just moving around with me and touching me. It's great. I learn. You're still getting hit. You're still going to get hit.

You're still going to take a couple shots. And if you fight somebody who's like your level, somebody's going to get, that's when you actually get hurt. Right. Because, you know, I don't want to lose. You don't want to lose. Even though I'm 50 and I'm an idiot for doing this, I'm still going to, I'm still trying to hold on to my fucking, you know, we'll just move around until you catch me, and then I'm going to try to catch. It's dangerous. And you're, I would prefer not to do it.

It's nerve wracking. You know who loves it? Louis C.K. He likes yep no shit giant boxing fan too he's had all the big fights does he spar louis or he just wow yeah he and i had a pretty deep conversation about boxing like he's a fucking real boxing fan like we were talking about guys like terrence crawford and like oh look at you yeah he loves it i just re-watchwatched Tommy Hearns' fight with Hagler. Holy shit. And Hearns' fight with Sugar Ray. Holy shit.

And Hearns' fight with Duran. That's my thing. I go, I watch So You Think You Can Dance, the best of So You Think You Can Dance, The Voice, I cry, my little private garden. And then I watch old boxing bouts. And it's my favorite thing. And I watch interviews with themouts and it's my favorite thing and I watch interviews with them now interviews with them Tommy Hearns and that jab of his oh it's amazing oh my god do you ever see his fight with Roberto Duran sure did

sure did he was like one of the first guys to flatline yeah a guy like Roberto Duran just leave him laid out first round or was it second round I think it was the second yeah second round it's hard to remember but I remember the punch. It was round two. He hit him like a piston. Oh, blank. 6'1", 145. This is ridiculous. Good luck. And he was wide. Oh yeah. So wide.

With all that torque behind the punches. I watched Roger Mayweather fight in his prime. Black Mamba. Dude, and he had legs that were about as skinny as Toothpick? Well, they look like, yeah, 9X cables. They're just like these tiny, I've never seen anything like it. Yeah. Good luck fighting him too. Yeah, there's Hearns flat over Roberto Duran. Look at that picture. He was a giant 45. Yeah, he was huge. I think in this time though, he was 54. I think

he went up to 54. That was because Roberto Duran had beaten Davey Moore. And I think he went up to 54 That was Because Roberto Duran Had beaten Davey Moore And I think That was at 54 Was it at 60 Because Roberto Falled all the way up to Hagler He's my favorite Roberto Duran

Was my favorite fighter Just his attitude Like the human pitbull The stare How much he loved fighting David Hearns is in him Good lord Different

Literally a different Looking human being Yeah look at that picture Of him jabbing him right there. Yeah, David and Goliath right there. Yeah, fucking, he's a large fella, Tommy Hearns. I know. And didn't Duran love to fight?

Yeah, he needs to stay the fuck away from microphones too. Yeah. Well, perhaps. That whole talking thing's over. Oh, then I watched some Hagler. I watched some marvelous Marvin Hagler. Oh, he's amazing. Then I watched some Hagler. I watched some marvelous Marvin Hagler. Oh, he's amazing. Vintage, marvelous Marvin Hagler.

I still to this day maintain that Hagler should have won that fight with Sugar Ray Leonard. So do I. I think Leonard didn't do enough to win. He's just touching him. I agree 100%. How would you think? The big questions are, people ask these, but Gennady Golovkin with Hagler, you know, these kind of guys. We'll never know.

We'll never know. But the real question is, what's Gennady Golovkin going to do with Canelo Alvarez? Floyd Mayweather thinks Canelo Alvarez is going to knock Golovkin out. I think Golovkin is bigger, taller, longer. He hits every bit as hard. And I think it's a little much for Canelo. I'm interested. I want to see what Gennady and Andre Ward would have.

See, the thing is, did you see the fight with Kel Brooks? Yes. Kel Brooks had some serious moments. He did. He made Gennady look human, but the problem was from what I understand, Gennady also had a bad flu. Oh, he did? Yes. Oh, really? Yes. He had a bad flu. Well, that changed everything. Yeah. And then Gennady

proceeded to break Kel's I think orbital socket. He beat him up eventually. But the thing is. Kel Brooks is a fucking hell of a fighter. Hell of a fighter. Yeah. But the thing is, Kel Brooks is not Canelo.

Canelo's a murderous one-punch knockout artist. You know, it's a totally different experience. Like, Canelo can flatline people. Yes. And he does it with bombs. So the question is, like, whether or not he'll ever be able to get one of those bombs off. Well, if you watched him with Miracon, he'd fake low. He'd jab low, jab low, and come over right.

Jab low, and it didn't work like eight times. And then finally, jab low, boom, and just came to the top and just knocked him out. I think that's one of his main go-to shots. I don't know. Gennady's a different animal. Totally different animal. You know? Yeah, I mean, he has a way better chin than Eric Kahn.

But he also makes you pay for things you throw. Because his counters, when you get hit, you know, my friend's a heavyweight at Box and Burn, David, and he used to spar with him, and he'd wear a body suit when he'd spar with Gennady. First of all, Box and Burn, change your name. Well, it's doing very well. No, no, no. It's doing well. It's a good boxing gym.

It burns. It burns. Ooh. Box and Burn. I mean, seriously. It's like you have boxing mixed with like Jane Fonda workouts. Do you feel the burn? You get real fighters in there and real actors.

Feel the burn. You get some serious actors in there. Oh, do you get real actors for real? Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Is that why you're there? I'm not there, sir. Because all the real actors are there. I work at Glove real actors for real? Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Is that why you're there? I'm not there, sir. I work at Gloveworks with Wayne McCulloch.

But I started at Box and Burn. I'm burning. Hey, that's my boys' gym. It's a great gym. I feel it in my calves. They're burning. No, no, no. Listen. I can't. Don't do that. I feel the burn. That's not how we do it there. What are you doing? Skipping rope. I've never seen you

behave that way. Your nipples, I can see your nipples through your shirt. I'm getting a little hard. I hear it's an amazing gym. It's an amazing gym. Not when you go like this. My calves. It's like lift weights and have a hard time breathing. Yeah.

Lifts weights and have a hard time breathing. Lifts weights and hyperventilate. If you had a gym called lift weights and hyperventilate That's really funny Everybody would be like what the fuck kind of name for a gym is this Boxing burn We're burning it we're burning the fucking roof off this bitch Well you're not going to be able to make money

In a gym if you just have boxing Good luck opening a gym and be like we just teach you how to fight You're going to have six people to show up But we like to burn We teach classes A good place for dudes who like to burn. We like to burn. We burn. We teach classes. That would be a good place for dudes who like to box and then smoke some weed and chill out afterwards. Yeah. Box and burn.

Workout and then just get high. That makes sense. Do you ever get high before you work out? Never. Never have. That seems odd. I was in boxing one time and I was dead lifting 145 for reps though. That's a lot of weight.

For reps. Do you hold that over your head? 145 for reps though. That's a lot of weight. For reps. Do you hold that over your head? Well, again, I was looking at how skinny my third, my left arm was. You need to get some Ironman kettlebells in your life like this bitch right here. Well, I've been taking a weightlifting class, which we can get into.

I like that very much. We talk about that on it, Ironman thing. But I'm deadlifting and Tim Tebow and Brennan Schaub walk in behind me. Oh, boy. And I got embarrassed and I put it down. Don't work out when I'm talking. That's what I'm going to do from now on. Hey, you're sweating on your tits.

I sweat a lot, bro. I drink a lot of water. I'm very hydrated. While people are talking, if I don't like what they're saying, I'm just going to start lifting. It's okay because I don't know. Because I'm just talking about dead lifting

in front of those guys at 145. Dude, that's impressive. It's not really. It's a little bit heavy. Have you tried to max out? No. Lately? No, I don't max out, man.

No? I don't believe in that. What do you think if you really had to, what do you think you could bench? I used to do, what's three plates? 305? Is it 305 or 315? What's 225 and 95? 305?

That's a lot of weight. Yeah, I could do 305 for three or four. 315. 315? 315 is two plates, yeah. Oh, is that what it is? Okay. That's a lot of weight. Yeah, I could do 305 for three or four. 315. 315? 325 is two plates, yeah. Oh, is that what it is? Okay. That's a lot of weight.

Yeah. Yeah, I could do that. Have you ever tried to deadlift at max? No, never deadlift at max, but I would work out with 450. So what is that? You work out? You deadlift 450? Yeah, I deadlift 450.

You work out with 450 pounds? 450 pounds. That's a fuckload of weight. You're deadlifting that? What do you deadlift 450. You work out with 450 pounds? 450 pounds. That's a fuckload of weight. You're deadlifting that? What do you mean it's not that much weight? On a crossbar? It's a little bit more. On a straight bar or what kind of bar?

Those ones you stand inside, those hexagon bars, you grab the sides. That's the one I use. That's a fuckload of weight. What are you talking about? Strong as fuck, bro. Yeah, that's really strong. I've been deadlifting for a long time. I started out deadlifting 225 and then I went up to three plates,

and now I do four plates and a little bit more. It's a total of nine plates plus the bar 45. Yeah. Well, I'll use 25. That's a fuckload of weight. Yeah, but I only do it for like two or three reps. What I want, what I believe is that when you get to a certain proficiency at lifting, right, then and only then should you lift heavy, right? You've built up like a good solid base. Then only then should you lift heavy. And I follow like the Pavel Tatsulini protocol where like, say if I can do 10 reps or something,

I never do 10. I do five. So like if I get to, like if I'm doing something heavy, like if I'm doing 90 pound clean press squats, where I'm holding 90 pounds over my head, I could probably do 10 of those, but I only do four, maybe five. So you don't go to muscle atrophy? I don't go to failure. Okay. I don't believe in going to failure. What I think is you're best off doing less repetitions more often.

So instead of doing one day where you blow your whole fucking system out and you do, one more, bro. Come on, one more. And then the next day you can barely walk. I think, and this is what Pavel says, and this is what a lot of people like, there's a company called Strong First, what they recommend. There's a few people at the front of the line when it comes to what you would call functional fitness and functional strength. Right. And they think that what Pavel calls greasing the groove, which means do it more often, but do it not to failure. So instead of having one workout every three days,

we blow your body out, right? Have one workout every day and you don't blow your body and you'll get stronger, quicker. Stimulate, don't annihilate. Exactly. There's no reason in nature where you would go to failure. Why would you go to failure in nature? You wouldn't. So how do animals and people and farmers, how do they get strong? Farmers don't get ridiculously fucking strong from going to failure every day. They get ridiculously strong from consistently taxing their body, moving bales of hay, picking up heavy things. I mean, you do that consistently, you get stronger

and stronger. Yeah, so that's mostly what I do. So if I deadlift heavy, which I rarely do, that's what I do, and I only do it for a few reps. So funny, because I did a scene with Matt Hughes on Kingdom, that show that I recur on, and I kind of grabbed him. Oh, he's a gorilla. I just grabbed him.

I joke around, I'll wrestle with you, man. I was a high school wrestler. I got my elbows in. I'm moving in on him. And he swatted the back of my head, just kind of grabbed the back of my head. He swatted it like that. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my. I tried to keep, I tried to blow my neck up.

And I was like, that's not going to work with Matt stronger than me. What a surprise. Well, imagine if you're dealing with like a heavyweight then. Right. Imagine what it's like getting the back of your neck grabbed by Cain Velasquez. I wrestle with Brendan Schaub sometimes. It becomes a disaster. It's so bad, it's ridiculous.

And then know this, that there's guys out there that would ragdoll him. It's so weird. Yeah. It's so fucking weird. It gets so crazy. If you think equality exists in nature, I got news for you. Do a sport. Come wrestle.

I said to Brendan we were about to do a live show, speaking of which, January 18th, 19th, Vancouver, 20th, Seattle, 21, Portland, and then we got San Francisco, February 9th and 10th. Get your tickets. But we were about to do a live show, and I go, I look at him, and all I said, he was just feeling, he had energy. And he started pinching at me, started pinching at me. I'm like, hey, stop pinching at me with your giant fucking palms.

And he's like, hee, hee, hee, and he's jumping around. And I go, dude, I got to be honest with you, don't fuck around because I box now a lot. And he goes, you do? And his eyes went out. I go, no, all bullshit aside, I jam guys now when they want to get something else. I'll just jam you. And he goes, what? Show me. And I go, well, so if we're

fighting and I get in you and he goes like that and I'm in here and he goes, what if I do this? And he hits me in the side. He just slaps my little tummy in the side like that. And then he kicks me in the leg just very lightly. And I went, I go, oh I go, oh, I don't like this at all. And he goes, what? And he goes, what if I go like this? And he goes to do a double leg. All he did was step forward. And I'm such a bitch that those two little taps got me so on edge that I threw my, instead of sprawling naturally, I threw my body backwards.

The way you would do when a girl sees a rock star, she goes, like the stereotypical, like in the movies in the 50s. I throw my body back and I hit my forearm so hard on the fucking door jamb. And I gave myself a deep, deep forearm bruise that I had to perform through. It was very tough for me. You okay tough? I was very funny. He's a big guy. You're a smaller guy.

The point is, I know what it's like to wrestle with a gorilla. Yeah. There's different sized people out there. Now imagine if you're a girl and imagine that guy is saying, won't you smile? I do it all the time. Then you understand, dude, how Rose McGowan feels. Fuck. You sexist piece of shit. Full circle, motherfucker. I brought her all the way

back around. Now you get it. I do now. Because you could do that to Rose McGowan. Tell me you couldn't if you leg kicked her. Yeah, I would never want to. I'm pretty confident you could fuck Rose McGowan up. I probably could. Right? If it could do that to Rose McGowan. Tell me you couldn't if your leg kicked her. Yeah. I would never want to. I'm pretty confident you could fuck Rose McGowan up. I probably could. Right? I probably could.

If it got ugly, if Rose McGowan tried to kick your ass, if you were on a beach and you were competing for coconuts and she was deciding that you didn't deserve a coconut. I'd be such a beta male. I'd be like, let me climb that. What would you do? I'd be like, I'll climb that fucking tree for you right now. How long do you think you'd have to go before you'd have to yell at her? If you were on an island?

That's a very good question. That's a very good question. You and Rose McGowan on an island. She'd probably be very effective. How so? I think she's probably one of those people who's probably very focused. She's got enough anger to drive her through. She would decide that the community on this island is incredibly sexist.

Yeah. But then she's also really sexual. And she'd be like, like how old are you again how can you have those squares in your stomach and why do you move like a fucking cat you think so and i was like well what about this and she'd be like that thing can't be real and then we'd be off to the races what man that's optimistic i'm just saying what would happen in my mind i have a feeling it would be like a lot of yelling and then she would realize she has the only vagina in known civilization. Right.

And she would just run your world. Well, listen, man, I let her run my world. And then a boat would pull up to shore and be a bunch of girls that were on a yacht.

Yeah, Russian mobster. And they jumped away from this Russian mobster, but then they get lost at sea and they landed, they landed on this island. And then all of a sudden she would change.

Then she'd be your girlfriend. Then she'd be holding hands with you while they're talking to you. And everything would change. There'd just be one guy who knows how to get the coconuts. One guy who knows how to fish with a stick. That's right. He knows how to get in there with a fucking spear. Fucking spear.

Yeah. Yeah, I bring back fish all the time. No big deal. I like it. A loincloth. Love the exercise. Plenty of food here for all of us. Yes.

And then the girls are just a little bit cold in their tent. Can we come into your tent? We don't know how to make all of us. Yes. And then the girls are just a little bit cold in their tent. Can we come into your tent? We don't know how to make a fire yet. Right. And they'd be like, what are all those baby turtles? I'm like, well, we're going to eat them. No, they're baby turtles. I go, don't worry.

If we don't eat them, the fish will anyway. And then we just fucking munch on some. And the rose just starts blowing you just like while you're talking to them. Just mine. This is good. Mine. Yeah. Gets super.

Mine. Mine. There's this, there's the woman who is a couples therapist who recommends to couples that are having problems. She, there's a book that's written and she wrote a book about it. It was essentially the idea that when you feel a hundred percent secure in your relationship, it's a bad thing for a relationship. You should always feel like there's a little danger of your spouse straying because it

keeps you sexually competitive. Sexually competitive is important, huh? It's fucking very important, the idea. So for Rose, those girls are her friend. Those girls who pull up on the island in their raft, they were Rose's friends, really. She feels like they're competitors, but they're really to strengthen the relationship that you and Rose have. She needs to know I would never cheat on her, and I don't give a fuck about these Russian

chicks. I would never cheat on her. Now, my eye may fall and stay on a body part here and there. But at the end of the day, come here. Hey, look at me. I would never cheat on you. I would never cheat on you. I would never cheat on you.

And while you're saying that, a coconut falls off your head and kills you. And then that's really fucked up because then they're just a bunch of lesbians on an island. That's so odd. And I come back as a ghost. Do you think Rose becomes the man then? Yes. And then she runs those Russian bitches around? She's got a fucking shaved head.

Yeah, but she's an actress. They're Russian whores. They've got a hard life. They've had a hard fucking life. They've come through. They're ready to stab somebody. Yes. They're ready to steal livers.

They are emotionally, I guess, remote. Maybe. From my experience. Or maybe just really, you know, vulnerable. Maybe. From my experience. Or maybe just really vulnerable, Brian. Trying to make their rent. I know how to talk to a girl. You ever see that picture? There's a funny Instagram picture.

Like when you see girls partying, but you don't see the guys behind them. Like Instagram girls are going off to all these far off exotic lands and they're taking selfies. You don't see the guys that are paying for that. That's exactly right. Fat, disgusting old dudes on yachts. Exactly. Those guys are real.

Of course they're real. I'll be one of those guys in about 10 years. You think so? If things keep going well. Do you think you'll ever get to that like driving around in a yacht with a bunch of prostitutes no uh because no and i've always had i've always wanted to a little bit and then i always come back to my set point which is you got to be a man of substance and all that like that it's it's why i never dated super like barbie doll girls like i would always find it a little embarrassing maybe the same reason i never drove

a really fast, fancy car. There's something about that ostentatious kind of like, I don't know what it is. No, no, here's a better way of putting it. I want to get away from my appetites and I want to be moving toward my appetites. Yeah, but if you're almost dead, okay? If you're 75 years old and you've got this big, fat fucking belly filled with carbs. Yeah. Just giant Buddha-like belly.

Yeah. And you're on, you know, 200 milligrams of Viagra. Your ears are ringing. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Your dick is just a hard snake in your pants. You're just drinking martinis. And you have $7 billion in the bank.

What are you going to do? What are you going to do besides help the world? blah, blah, blah, do a lot of humanitarian things? That's all nice, too. But I don't want to be somebody who chases a sensation. Are you chasing a sensation, or are you just hitting the gas and headed straight for the rocks? No.

No, no, no, no, because hitting the gas and heading straight for the rocks has been done too many times. I've already felt it. I've already done it. I want to move away from it. There it is. Hold on. Let me see that.

When you see girls like this on Instagram. Look at those fucking great guys. Remember who owns the boat? Look at those guys. Look at the girls. Hey, I got news for you. Some women find that attractive in a sick way. Well, they find the fact that those guys are going to buy them a bunch of shit.

Yeah. Look at those old wolves. It's like Don Sterling. Yeah. You know, when he had that girl shacked up he's buying her ferraris and shit before she recorded him saying racist stuff uh-huh yeah no i think chasing chasing something that is you know the idea is to get more away from that and try to yeah no i get it i get it but it's also a sensation i mean that's all it is is a fun sensation but but so is uh so is wanting to be like um valued by younger people

so when when men go after young women there's one side of it which is you just young women are delicious and beautiful and you know their their skin all that. But I think there's another psychological thing at play, which is also the idea of I'm 60. I still got it. She still finds me attractive. I still can get it up. I can still please her sexually. I can still hang with a 20-year-old. I can still make her happy.

It's a way of telling yourself you're still alive, that you still have vitality and all that shit. And then there's the third thing, which is look at what I've accomplished. I can afford this shit. This is another toy along with my car and my book, but it's all self-affirmation. And it's all at the end of the day, a manifestation of probably some shit you haven't worked out, which is still a feeling of insecurity, still a hole you can't fill. Or you're a fat savage with a martini in your hand and a giant hard dick. And you've paid 30 Russian hookers to hang out with you for a month because your doctor found a blemish on your tumor. Well, that's a different story.

It's going down and it's growing now and it's starting to cut off the supply to your blood. Yeah. You're getting blood clots and your feet go numb at night i wonder what i would do let me think about that because let's just take that i got how much give me how much time do i have not much uh you wake up every morning you set the alarm clock for 5 a.m with credence clearwater revival bad moon rising you pop a viagra start drinking drinking. Your gut's enormous. It's enormous? You definitely have cancer. You know you have cancer. There's probably some internal shit going on, but your dick still gets hard, and you

still got $7 billion to burn through. Your kids are calling you. You look at the phone. You're like, fuck you. You're not getting any of this. Man, I started school, dude. Oh, yeah. Every day.

Every day. They're grilling steaks. Mommy. You got an onboard chef. I call every girl mommy. Mommy. Everything is steak. Ste day. Every day. They're grilling steaks. Mommy. You got an on-board chef. I call every girl mommy. Mommy. Everything is steak. Steak in the morning.

Steak in the afternoon. Who gives a fuck? Martinis and steak. Oh, I farted. Yeah. Martinis, steak, and a fucking mason jar filled with Viagra. Tic Tacs. Like Tic Tacs.

Just a giant one. Just down those fuckers all day. You can't hear a thing. Your ears are closed up. Just a big old. Just down those fuckers all day. You can't hear a thing. Your ears are closed up. Just a big old gray pubic mound. Yeah, your head is constantly aching from the Viagra flowing through your veins. Stop doing the E. Why are my ears ringing?

Your dick is like a fucking hammer. I guess I just do some fucking. You got a giant fat belly with white hair all over it. Just a big fat white. And your dick smells like cheese. Your dick smells like old cheese. Hey, bro. Why?

It's not going to happen to me. And the girls all have those shoes with the red bottoms. You know those shoes with the. Those are the Christian Louis Tones. Yeah, that's the ones. Girls love those. That's why I get a hard on when I buy fucking gifts. For girls.

So those girls all have that. You make them keep those shoes on and you fuck their mouths where they're lying on their stomach so that the shoes are up in the air so you can see the bottom of their shoes while you're nutting their mouth I bought this for you I bought this for you

and then your heart attacks and then when I come I go you're welcome and when you die they just throw you overboard because these bitches hate you now. So like, he's dead. He's finally fucking dead. And not even the fish will leave me. And then you get to go through the will.

What's in the will? What do I get? Do I get anything? And then nothing. You don't get nothing? And you just drag him by his ankles and chuck him over the side. Wow. The sharks come and eat him.

They won't eat me. I'm so full of sin. I'm so full of sin and just bad food. Sharks will eat a shoe. Well, not, I don't know, not my belly. Do you think they'd be turned off by your sin? I think so. Really?

I think so. I want to leave behind a very, a shredded corpse. I want people to go, that's a good looking 90 year old right there. What if there's so much Viagra in the body, the shark gets a boner. And the shark is just running through the ocean with a raging hard on. That's good. That's possible. Flying through the air. You know how sharks fly through the ocean with a raging hard-on. That's awesome. Just flying through the air.

You know how sharks fly through the air? Yes. They jump out of the water. This time he's going to jump out of the water with his dick rock hard. Why do they breach the water? Do they know why? They're having fun. Yeah.

I would imagine. They want to see what it's like to be in the air. They're just fucking up some seals. Yeah, they're having a good time. They do it when they're killing things. Or they want to get parasites off their skin, I heard. That's why whales do it maybe Hmm interesting That makes sense for whales

God what a bitch that must be All those lampreys and stuff just stuck to you Do you know how long the bowhead whale lives? No About 250 years Do you know how long the Greenland shark lives According to carbon dating on their eyelids? No

It's a huge shark, too. Try about almost 500 years. Holy shit. Bring that up for a second. Bring up the Greenland shark. You know, they think the Greenland shark might have been what people were seeing in the Loch Ness. That makes sense. Because the Loch Ness at one point in history was connected to the ocean, and they think

that that might have been the animal that was in there. That's interesting because it would live 500 years, although they live in very cold water. Whoa, look at the size of that fucking thing. Yeah. Now that is, that'll live 500 years apparently. 400 year old Greenland shark is the oldest vertebrate animal alive. Yeah. Whoa.

What a freaky fucking animal. That looks 400 years old. It does. Looks like a piece of stone. Looks like a stone. Just think about that. Just think about that. It's a piece of stone.

It looks like a stone. Just think about that. Just think about that. Before the fucking United States was founded in 1776, this cunt was 100 years old. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that fucking crazy? That's insane. God damn.

That's insane. That's nuts. What a freaky looking animal, too. Yes. But they keep finding weirder and weirder animals, too, at the bottom of the sea. They do, right? Oh, it's so amazing. What are you talking about? A tribe in the Amazon they just found?

Yeah, uncontacted tribe. A Yanomamo? Where are they from? That's the only tribe I know, so I say Yanomamo. Isn't that the tribe that Ranello went hunting with in Bolivia? Yanomami. I know that they're the tribe that when they came back, the anthropologists in the 70s and found that the ones that killed the most men in battle

were the ones that sired the most children. And when they came back in the 70s and told the academic world that, that aggression was inherent and that it was rewarded by females. Ooh, you should have seen the politically correct. You should have seen what happened in the 70s. And that is rearing its head again today, the idea of aggression. Wow. That's a crazy statement, man. So they rejected it in primitive people? Not only that.

They rejected that notion? Not only that. They attacked. There's a Steven Pinker's book, The Blank Slate. They attacked the scientists, the anthropologists that came back. They attacked them personally over it, tried to ruin their reputations. Look at how this guy's dressed. Dude, are you kidding me right now? That's 2017?

Yeah. It's really amazing. Isn't that crazy? Indians. Why the fuck do they keep calling them Indians? I think it's the Aborigines that comes from that. And Brazil's, well, it's indigenous. Could you say

indigenous? Could you say Indian because of indigenous? I don't know. But that is so fascinating. Jamie, stop scrolling, please. Go back up to where I was reading what it was saying there. The tribe has moved a number of times since that sighting. Scout expert in the region's indigenous groups, Mireles was on last Sunday's flight as well as previous missions in 2008 and 2010 that also yielded extraordinary images.

These groups change location every four years or so. They move around, but it's the same group. How fast is the Amazon? Amazon is amazing, but those fucking people that are chopping down the trees are closing in on it. They sure are. Look at that guy. Look at that guy. Yeah, look at this crazy little hut. They got that aerial view of the hut where those people live.

Thatch hut. Keep the jaguars out. Look at him, man. What is he got? Tattoos all over him, Jamie? Go larger on that image of him. Intricate body paint. Wow. So they're getting pictures from the air. He's got some sort of really primitive

knife. That's pictures from the air, dude. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, they're flying over these people. Holy shit. Photographer was looking for another area he was going back for and stumbled across. He saw that hut and then, oh, what's that hut? And got in closer and then saw the people and started taking photos of them.

These people are living like people lived thousands of years ago. That's fascinating. It's amazing. So that looks like a modern knife to me now that I'm looking at it deeper. Because if you look below where he's holding onto it, there's a wooden handle lower. Machete. Yeah, that looks like a machete. So how are they uncontacted if they have a machete?

Machete? They got that from someone. Dude, look at this. That's the only thing that you see on them that's modern though. I mean, he's probably holding it up. Look how modern I am, motherfucker. I, look at this. That's the only thing that you see on them that's modern, though. I mean, he's probably holding it up. Look how modern I am, motherfucker.

I got a machete. They look fed and healthy. Plots of corn, manioc, and bananas surround the cluster of communal huts. Vegans, probably. Wow.

No, they eat a lot of fish and frogs and monkeys. They eat everything. Wow, look at that, though, dude. Look at that. They live in the woods. Look at this. Equally impressive

for Murrells was the large barrage of arrows that tribes They live in the woods. Look at this. Equally impressive for Murrells was the large barrage of arrows the tribes had been fired at the helicopter, which he took as a healthy site of resistance. Wow. Their messages, he said, those arrows mean, leave us in peace. Do not disturb. No, they mean, I'm trying to shoot you, bitch. I'll let you know that.

Leave us in peace? That's not... Well, boy, you're reading into it. They're saying, get out of here, you flying demon. Hold on. Let me see. You're trying to appear to save. Tunnels across the border of Peru are rife with illegal logging crews, gold prospectors, and drug traffickers.

Yeah, man. They've wiped out entire tribes in the past. I'm sure. I mean, how many of these people are there? Go back up to those images, Jamie. Look at the images of the hut, please. Yeah, right there. Dude, I want to study that.

How many people are that? I mean, if you assume that doorway is human-sized, how many people live in that? 20, 30? It's fascinating. You can learn so much about human nature by studying them. Well, there's no way to really study them, though. That's what's really interesting. The real way to study them would be to have a drone

that they didn't know was a drone, fly it in there and like perch it on a tree and watch and get as much data as you can. Or just live with them. Yeah,

but if you live with them, you'll be affecting them because then people, they would know that you're there. Like the only way to really study them would be to study them without them knowing.

You know, like look where they are, man. How can you stop illegal logging and all that shit? Don't change pictures. Go back to that picture. Look athuh. You know, like, look where they are, man. How can you stop illegal logging and all that shit? Go back. Don't change pictures. Go back to that picture. Look at that.

Look at their little hut, and then look at where they are, man. Fuck. Look at that. A sea of green. Massive amount of rainforest, and they just got this little clearing with this little hut. Man, that's insane. Fuck.

That's fucking- If you had to live there, though, you could do it. But everything that we have in our brain about what is good in life is attached to civilization. A nice house in a good neighborhood. I want to have cable TV and a fast internet and a microwave. Food. Food that I can get immediately. But even if you can get food there, like they knew, like they said, they planted bananas,

they planted all this corn, they knew where the food was, there's plenty. I'm sure there's a ton of living shit out there that you can eat, right? So even if you can hunt and gather all the food you need every single day of the week, would you be happy with never performing stand-up again? Would you be happy never watching Netflix again? Would you be happy with no cell phone? Would you be happy with no air flights? Me and my native girl.

This is where you live forever. Me and my Indian girlfriend. Yeah, who, by the way, smells like an African prison riot. How often does that chick wipe her ass? It rains a lot. It rains a lot. And the rains cleanse the body. What the fuck it does?

You ethnocentric motherfucker. She probably smells like a tarsal gland. She probably smells like a skunk. A tarsal gland. She probably smells like a skunk. A tarsal gland. Everyone probably smells like a skunk. No. She burns. While there's so few of them.

She smokes incense. She burns incense. Those tribes were so small because they smelled so bad they rarely fucked. And then once people figured out soap, the population just exploded. Like, you smell good enough to fuck. Hey, sanitation played a huge part in progress. I'm serious. You smell good enough to fuck.

For real. Look at that, dude. You have to be super horny to fuck one of these people. They took pictures from the air. Yeah. Yeah, they had to. Dude, that's mind-blowing. I know.

And they probably had to use- Look at that haircut. And this is a guy working his bow. He sure is. I mean, he had to have something to shave his head, right? Well, he's wearing body paint, obviously to protect from insects, probably. Yeah, maybe, right? That's a macaw right there.

But the hair appears like he's got a razor. If he can do that to his hair. Dude, look at them. Or some sort of a knife. You know, they shaved. I cannot believe this. I'm fascinated by this. Oh, it's incredible. They're in the Stone Age. Look at them or some sort of a knife. You know they shaved I cannot believe this I'm fascinated by this Oh, it's incredible. They're in the Stone Age look at that shit. They're human beings in the raw That's human beings in the raw and haven't had haven't come into contact with other ideas and other

Cultures and other people and so they stayed that way well. That's the argument Against keeping dolphins and whales in captivity. That these people, and these are absolutely 100% human beings, right? We would give them the same rights that you and I both enjoy. Those people live like they lived thousands of years ago. They have a very crude existence that's not very far removed from orcas. It's just not. The only thing that's different is shelter.

They've developed shelter, which is totally unnecessary for a dolphin or a killer whale. So other than that, you know, with all the things, all the metrics that we use to describe civilization, I mean, they have some tools. So what? You know, tools made out of sticks. I could teach a Boy Scout how to make a bow like that. No, there are differences. Sure there are.

Sure there are. But to us looking at that, I mean, you're looking at an incredibly primitive form of human life in terms of what we think of as important. How much of a difference is that than orcas or killer whales? Yeah, you mean you're talking about that example. Yeah. That hasn't come into contact, hasn't had the benefit of sharing ideas, ideas having sex, as Hunter says.

Yeah, you're right. Crazy. It's so amazing that it exists, though. I don't know how they could study it, but, God, they have to. They have to, I mean, there's got to be a way to infiltrate in some sort of a way and understand what they're like. They did a lot of that in Papua New Guinea. They did a lot of that. Yeah, but, again, with a lot of influence, though.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. There's some horrible shit that came out of New Guinea. Do you know about the new, the, uh, the semen warriors? I sure do. Oh. And, and they did a study, um, on how many of them actually become gay later on. It's only about 5%. It has nothing to do with it. It's really interesting, but the boys to reach puberty have to suck the sperm out of the men in the tribe. They have to suck them off. Or they have to take it in their ass.

Usually it's sucking for about two years, two, three years, until they reach puberty so that, yeah, you can ingest a lot of semen. Suck a lot of dicks. Suck a lot of dick. And they think you have to do that to get bigger. Yeah, you got to do that to become a man. Someone should just have the rock fly in there. Look at me, boys.

Yeah. Never sucked a dick once. And then the whole thing would stop. Look at me, boys. Yeah. Never sucked a dick once. Yeah. And then the whole thing would stop. That is how it would stop. That's exactly how it would stop. You'd be like, wait a minute, those fucking guys are really strong.

They never sucked anything. They must ingest the semen of their elders daily from the age of seven until they turn 17 to achieve adult male status. It's not true. And to properly mature and grow strong. I read that it was a little older than seven, actually. That's not altogether true. You sure? It's on Wikipedia. What the fuck do you know? I think that they may be,

because in the book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts, I think they start when they're going to reach puberty, like 13, when they start to show signs, and then it helps you get into... Because I had read that same thing, though, that it was younger. I had read that it was seven. I'm not going to suck that guy's cock.

That guy's cock smells like shit. Yeah, that's not a good cock. Look at him. Great look, though. Look at him. Great look. Wow, that is a crazy look

from a guy who you have to blow. I mean, look at how human beings, they decorate themselves. Now you're going to suck my cock. That's a nightmare.

If you're seven and you have to suck a grown man's dick, it's another thing if he's dressed up like Pokemon. Yeah. Like, what is that paint that he's got on his face?

Scroll up so I can see that. That belongs in American Horror Story. Look at that paint on his face. Like, what kind of, he's got this crazy wide nose. Bright yellow paint all over his face with red stripes. Yeah. And he's nutting in your mouth. Yeah.

That's a hell of a fro. That's hard to get over. Like, that's some, it's going to stick with you. I think so. Those images are going to stick with you. Average lifespan in Papua New Guinea for a lot of those tribes is 45, by the way. Because they're sucking dicks all the time. That can't be good for you.

They're eating roots and shitty food, and they're getting infections. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, the big myth about when you're in a jungle there, you can assimilate, and you live it. No. Not really. Shit happens. You get a cut.

It gets infected. You die. Get septic immediately. No. Not really. No shit happens like you get a cut, he gets infected, he dies. Gets septic immediately. And homicide is huge. Homicide is, I think, the leading cause of death among hunter-gatherer tribes in Papua New Guinea

because they just get in these fights with each other and they kill each other. And because you want to get back at that dude that made you suck his dick when you were seven. No, he's in your tribe, sir. That's just part of it

because you're getting your dick sucked now. You have to understand. You're part of the problem now. That's just part of it because you're getting your dick sucked now. You have to understand. Oh, you're part of the problem now. It's just passed down generation to generation. Like child molestation. Correct. That's what's really crazy.

It's almost like child molestation built into the operating system of their culture. Yeah, some pedophile said, you know what, guys? I have, you know, I saw a vision. You think that's what it was? I think so. Like one person. But here's the thing. Here's the real question.

Like throughout history, I mean, like literally from the beginning of time, people have been molesting young boys. Like grown men would take young boys places and molest them. It's in the dialogues. It's in Socrates. It's in the dialogues. It's in the symposium. Yeah. How nuts is that?

Like whenever you consider Socrates, one of the things you have to consider is Socrates was a pedophile. you consider Socrates? One of the things you have to consider is that Socrates was a pedophile. He apparently was married and didn't partake, but certainly Aristotle and Plato and his students... Socrates didn't bang kids? And his contemporaries would talk about how we have nice

boys, let's go back and drink some wine, we'll go eat and kiss some beautiful boys, and then we'll talk some more. Jesus Christ. Socrates, there's no record of him. He was never, he was always, he famously said a philosopher should treat their appetites, their body with a quiet contempt. Learn to let go of your body as you get older and not hold onto it because you're going

to have to let go of it anyway. So he's the opposite of the dude in the yacht with the ringing ears and the big fat white hairy belly. He certainly, well, and so much so that when he got poisoned by the hemlock and his students were crying, he said, you guys, what are you crying for? You're crying over my shell? I'm going on to something bigger and you're crying about this broken down machinery that's going to break down anyway.

Have I taught you nothing? Why did he get poisoned again? Because he wouldn't, essentially, he would not stop talking. He was considered to be a heretic in a way. He was speaking against Athens, against the elite, against the gods. And he was a man of reason, not so much faith, but rather reason. And so he was somebody who was considered to be a threat to the power structure, a threat to the religion, a threat to, and you know, and so Socrates was considered essentially an enemy of the state,

and he had an opportunity. They didn't want to kill him. The Greek government said, get, you know, listen, hey, we're condemning you to death, i.e. we're looking the other way, get the fuck out of town, just be in exile. And Socrates said, no, sorry, because that would be admitting fault. If you guys want to sin against philosophy, kill me, but I'm not going to renounce what I said. And I'm not going to say sorry. And I'm not going to leave because I've lived under these rules and these laws forever. And if that's the law of the land, then I will take my punishment. But you guys are wrong, but just know this is on you, not on me. It's very powerful.

There's the apology and everybody should read it. It's fascinating. Totally different story if you talk to that creepy voice, that creepy whisper voice. Everybody should read it. And if you want to come to my place, I'll read it to you. Like how he said it. I would not. It's a admitting fault. I've been living under Greek love for a long time.

Have you ever contemplated what it would be like? I mean, I assume that this is going to be available in some sort of a simulated form in virtual reality within our lives. To be able to go and experience what it would be like to be inside of a building and watching people live as if people lived like in that rainforest or watching people live as people lived in ancient Greece or ancient Rome or just trying to experience what it would be like, like in our minds, this is normal life, right? This is normal life being in a building, electricity, all that stuff. I think it would be so fucking enlightening if we could just for a brief moment, even even if we're just for a few minutes to try to experience what life was like back then and then try to put it into context. Well, I think the big factor would be that there was so much we didn't know, for example, germ theory. Forget about medical stuff. Just like when I'm talking about the way people look at the world.

If you listen to Lenny Bruce today, it's hard to listen to Lenny Bruce today because you already know a lot of the things he's saying and it's not really so groundbreaking anymore. But if you listen to him in a 1959 nightclub, you'd be like, holy shit, this is blowing my mind. Imagine being in front of Socrates. Imagine them being around all these people that had so little access to knowledge, knew so little about how the world actually worked. Or did they? I don't know. Well, sure they did in comparison to what we know today, 100%. Yeah, but, okay.

But I'm just saying in the context of the civilization that existed at the time, what kind of a weird world would that be? Well, I think the fundamental difference would be you'd have a much closer and intimate relationship with life and death, right? Right. Because death was always, yeah, all the time. And you were going to die probably of any, you know. And it wasn't formaldehyde and, you know. Nothing. So you died of diseases that would roll through and a plague would come and then there would be a war and all this stuff would happen. So I think you'd have a more intimate relationship with death. But I think actually that when you say we that lives 500 years. I don't know if thinking people back then knew less in terms of what it was to be essentially human and the responsibility of a human being.

So in other words, if you really get down to brass tacks at the end of the day, you're left with yourself. You're left with the things you can conquer within yourself. You're left with the things you can conquer within yourself. You're left with the things you can put into context about yourself. You're left with how much self knowledge at the end of the day, when you die, how well did you get to know yourself? One of the big values of putting yourself in, in risky situations or putting yourself into situations where you need to learn something that takes a lot out of you is you learn about yourself. And I think the Greeks knew that and wrote about that as well as anybody ever. And I think that they understood, like you read Seneca, you read Socrates,

and though they didn't have the technological advantages we did, they didn't have the ability to get as close to the rest of the world as we did, they had deep, deep concepts and wrestled with the big ideas and questions that have never left us, that still haunt us. The idea of what is the difference between good and evil? How should I really live my life? What is the right thing to do when everybody is telling me to do this and it's way more convenient? But what's the answer? Am I really just my appetites or am I more than that? And if my dignity and my morality and ethics are compromised, would I have the courage to stand there and say, I'm going to stay in Greece and not leave? Those big human questions are as relevant today as they were then. And if you really get down to what it means to be a human being and if you get down to knowledge, maybe we don't know more than they do.

Well, first of all, there's a huge problem with the word we. Okay? Because who are you talking about? Are you talking about you? Are you talking about me? Or are you talking about the greater human knowledge? Well, for sure,

the greater human knowledge is far vast. Yeah. Far more vast, far more in-depth. We know more about science. We know more about cells and the universe and the ocean and everything there is to be observed as far as applied knowledge right like are we living in a wise way well we don't really know i mean we we don't know in comparison to how they lived then because we you know we have tales that were written down and passed generation after generation

our honest understanding of the day-to-day existence in terms of what it would be like to actually be there, it's very limited. It's also very speculative. There's a lot of putting the pieces together. That's one of the things that history professors will do when they're teaching a class. They'll paint a picture of what they believe it was like back then based on the facts that they can definitely cling to. But as far as experiencing it, what was it actually like? Yeah, well, I had a really great – there's a great professor who teaches this class on the turning points in European history,

which you can get at the teaching company. He said something really awesome. He starts the lecture with this. He said, I want you guys – it was the fall of Constantinople, a city that stood for a thousand years and walls that stood for a thousand years. And when the Turks came in with this hundred foot gun and started blasting the walls. Jesus Christ. And then they sold most of the killed. They sacked the city, raped and killed most of the men, and then sold about 150,000 into slavery,

which means they chained them up and marched them back to one of their colonies and sold them on an open market. And he said, remember, this is a city that stood for a hundred years. It was when Constantinople then became Istanbul, became the center of the Ottoman Empire. He said, I want you to think for a second

about what it sounded like to be inside that city or on that wall when it was coming down. When you knew that walls that had stood for a thousand years were finally giving way to this new technology, which was a giant cannon, that it took them a mile a day to drag, you know, and they did it for a hundred miles or something crazy. He said, I want you to think these Ottomans are outside. These dudes are going to take no mercy, and they're going to do what they want when. And I want you to think, what did it smell like? What did it sound like?

And what was really going on is you were waiting in your house, and they came through the walls. on as you were waiting in your house and they and they came through the walls and for the first time in a thousand years your city and everything you knew was going to be burned raped killed sold into slavery and changed think about that shit for a second and that was a reality for people and that's a fascinating way to teach history because it brings it down to a visceral level where you go, these motherfuckers lived through that. So I think that the existential possibility that you and everybody you know, like Amos Oz, the Israeli writers, his mother killed herself. And he said, my mother killed herself because in Ukraine, when she was from Kiev, I think, in one day, 25,000 Jews were killed by the Nazis. In one day, he said, in her town, everybody she knew and everybody that knew those people and everything she came from

for generations, seven generations, wiped away, all killed. And now she's in sun-baked Jerusalem or Haifa or wherever it is. Think about what that was like for a human being, where everything you knew, same thing like being a Native American, everything you knew, all the buffaloes killed, their bodies, the hides laced with strychnine, all the animals that are eating that are dying.

So your entire mythology, Joseph Campbell talks about that, all your whole mythology has been wiped away. The buffalo that is the centerpiece of your mythology, your God, and all the eagles and everything else, and your God obviously is not strong enough to stop this incredibly strong Western God. What does that say about not only your very existence, but the gods you've been sacrificing and praying to? You're covering a lot of territory here, Brian Callen.

You just went through three entire different cultures. That's what it's fucking like, man. All death and doom and destruction. You asked me what it's like to be an ancient person. Not good. The fact that you can lose everything. I was going to get to something, but my point was, imagine that there's going to be a civilization one day that looks back on the primitive nature of us today with the same sort of bizarre

reflection that we look back at Socrates or we look back on the people that were on the Mayflower. at Socrates or we look back on the people that were on the Mayflower. It's just hard to imagine as we're all trying to expand our consciousness and grow as a civilization. And we would hope that with every new president, we have like a better way of doing things and our government tightens up and our laws get better. That's one of the things that people are so terrified about with this new administration that if everyone feels like it's slipping backwards. But one day, you know, the give and take, the flow, the ebb and flow of information 500 years from now, when they look back the way we look at, you know, the attack of the Mongols on Jin China. Or on Baghdad, yeah.

Yeah, in any of these places. You look back at the destruction that took place just a few hundred years ago and the kind of civilization that existed back then. And what would it be like to be in the felt tents of the Mongols as they were camped outside of the gates of this city that they were going to hurl flaming bodies with catapults at? Yeah. They would set their roofs on fire with flaming human beings. The fat would burn, right? Because the fat burns really good. So they would light people on fire, douse them in kerosene, light them on fire, and then launch them through the fucking air. And they would land on buildings and light them on fire from the outside. Well, let me ask you this.

So let's jump ahead to 100 years or whatever. Yeah, what's it going to be like? You can live 100 years longer than you are now. So right now— Are you going to be fucking that robot that looks creepy? 100% I am. 100% I am. There's all that.

I'm going to be the fat guy with the white belly on the yacht. No, you won't. With my ears ringing. You won't have to be because I have drugs and you'll be able to stay shredded. Right now, you'll be a teenager, the equivalent of a teenager. What would you do with another 100 years? Try to get better at life. What do you mean?

Try to get better at my management of life. The entire experience, how much of it is positive? Not just positive for me, but positive for other people that I interact with. How much better have I gotten at stand-up, at podcasting, at creating things, at writing things, at expressing myself? All those things, all the things that I'm doing now. If I had to live five more years, what would I do in five more years? Try to get better at what I'm doing. If I had 95 more years other than that, well, I'll definitely get better.

If my body works, I'd like to keep doing jujitsu. I'd like to keep doing martial arts. I'd like to keep working out. I like yoga. It's fun. It feels good. You do a lot of yoga lately. I do it a lot.

Yeah, I'm doing it three times a week now. God. Yeah, man. I think more things you do, the better you get at doing things. And I think the better you get at doing things. And I think the better you get at doing things, the more of an understanding you have of yourself. And if you're being totally honest, the more of an understanding you have of yourself, the better you are at managing life. So I just try to get better at managing life.

Like, and so defining life at managing life as in knowing where to place your energy, knowing where to place your energy for sure. Um what something actually means versus how it makes you feel. That's interesting. Knowing why things make you feel a certain way, why they could feel totally different in a different day, in a different circumstance. Like how are you going into things neutral or are you going into things loaded up already with emotions and with negativity and then you immediately react from this loaded up position instead of from a neutral position where you can analyze it and decide that nothing truly has any meaning other than the meaning that you give it. That's the book Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. Oh.

Yeah. He won a Nobel Prize in economics. Really? Yeah. And he talks about that he did all those experiments, right? So just about getting to know how your body, how your fast-thinking brain reacts and learning that sort of getting a handle on your mechanisms and how even the way you hold your body. So if you're smiling, you're going to think something's actually funnier than if you're frowning. They had people hold a pencil in their teeth sideways like that, and when they saw a joke, they thought it was funnier than if they were holding a pencil like this with the point

out and they were in a frown. They thought it wasn't as funny, right? Or when they were told to take a test and come up with sentences out of the words gray and wrinkled and sunshine and bald, they moved to the next test slower because those words made them think of old people. And so the language you use, how you hold your body, all those things affect how you are going to interact with data and stimulus that you're presented with. So the state that you are in is going to influence how you react to something.

I think we all are aware of that, though, right? You're aware of that. Yeah. Like sometimes you're not about myself up. Yeah. You're ramped up. You don't want to be exposed to bad news because then you'd be like, what the fuck? You know, just compound.

I mean, we all know people who are always ramped up and they're always having bad things happen to them. And it could be connected. Yeah. Don't you. Do you ever find that you like it really, like I have to guard myself against negative shit because it'll distract me from my work. Oh, for sure.

Right? Well, I mean, if you wanted to, you could fill your head up every day with horror stories. That are not helpful. Not helpful and also unmanageable. Like, again, we're talking about the 7 billion people in the world that you're getting news from. You're getting all the events that happen to 7 billion people. And only the extraordinary ones, the fucked up ones, are the ones that are interesting. The guy who takes that truck and runs it through the crowd.

Those are the ones that are interesting. Forget about all the people handing out flowers and inviting people in their homes for tea. All those things that are taking place at the same time don't attract our attention. That's interesting. So it does become a real problem. If you want to look at the experiences of 7 billion people, you can find a lot of horrific shit. But if you want to look at the experience of one person, you, Brian Callen, your interactions are almost entirely positive. Your day is almost entirely filled with laughter and friendship and fun and joking around and getting on stage and performing and doing podcasts and being

with your family and having a wonderful time. Yeah. So you can have a distorted view of the world by being too aware of the whole world. Yeah. And then people will tell you, well, hey, man, you can't live your life in a fucking bubble, man. No, that's called life. Yeah.

Everybody lives in a bubble, you cunt. Like, that's why Meryl Streep can go on TV and say that mixed martial arts isn't art. Like, why is she saying that? Because that's called life. Everybody lives in a bubble, you cunt. That's why Meryl Streep can go on TV and say that mixed martial arts isn't art. Why is she saying that? Because that's her bubble. In her bubble, that makes sense. She could say that. If she said that, if we were all backstage at the UFC and she said that, people would be like, What the fuck?

What? What the fuck did she just say? Why would you say that? Why would you come here where people love and worship this and say that? Why would you come here when people find the importance in this sport, in this art form? And why would you downplay it that way? Sure. Well, she's in her bubble.

Everybody's in a fucking bubble. Of course. There's no way you could not be. To be good at anything, you have to create a bubble, I would argue. Because if I want to write stand-up and I'm walking down and I start thinking about the drug cartels in Mexico and how they're killing innocent people or whatever it might be I'm gonna get ramped up and I'm gonna go what would I do in that situation I'm gonna get full of fear and I'm not gonna be thinking about what I gotta be thinking about which is you know whatever it might be or maybe I can use that

in my my stuff but I find I I have to really guard against um unhelpful thinking you should yeah you know and that's one of the reasons why I refuse to go down all these goddamn conspiracy holes that everybody wants you to go down and read this and read that. Like, I don't want to. I don't want, man, you should know. You should know about it. No, no, I shouldn't. No, I shouldn't.

I can't know about everything. Right. I fucking can't. There's not enough time in the day, you know, and I don't know who killed Kennedy, but it was a long time ago and I'm done. Yeah. I'm done. I don't want to look into it anymore. was a long time ago, and I'm done. I'm done. I don't want to look into it anymore.

Maybe one day I'll change my mind. But you can't say that someone has to go down these roads, or you have to pay attention to this, or you have to pay attention to that. This is too much work to be done. It's too much. You want to find out all the threats that ISIS poses to civilization? Jesus fucking Christ. How much time do you have? Do you want to find out how dangerous Putin really is? Boy, how much fucking time do you have? How much time do you have? Do you want to find out how dangerous Putin really is? Boy, how much fucking time

do you have? How much time do you have? Do you want to find out all the different potential gender roles that people play and gender identities that people cling to and all the different types of sexuality that exists and perversion and how many people jerk off on

feet and you don't have any time. It's high-tech procrastination. If you do think that way, it keeps you away from yourself. But the Putin thing's a little scary. It's all scary. Do we have more about that? I'm scared. Do we know more about whether he has any blackmail shit?

I don't doubt that. No, no, no. That whole story about him hiring. Is that fake? Yes, it's fake news. There you go. And it came out of a fucking post on, what was it on? Was it on 4chan? And I fell for it. I just fell for it. Dude, everybody did. But this is the go. And it came out of a fucking post on, what was it on? Was it on 4chan?

And I fell for it. I just fell for it. Dude, everybody did, but this is the thing. This is the world we live in. Fake news. Fake news is a real problem. Yes, it is. And it's an even bigger problem because what we consider to be legitimate news sources

talk about it as a rumor. Right. This is the rumor. And so they don't even substantiate it. Unsubstantiated reports. You can't say that. You can't even say that. I know because the Wall Street Journal said this has not been substantiated.

But they printed it. But they printed it. They printed it. Those fucks. And now I'm like, wait a minute. They are dying. The entire system of mainstream media is slowly eroding to the internet. But we need reliable sources of info.

We do. But we need someone who's going to reliably do it on the internet, and I don't think that's impossible. I think if we find someone who's truly, absolutely, 100% ethical and objective, and also someone who's not just going to go after fantastic stories because they make big ratings, but someone who goes after stories that are actually important because they're significant events and issues and does it in an objective way everything's editorialized all these things that people close to it's fake the golden showers and all that sounded like bullshit it sounds obvious oh he likes to hire hookers to pee on the bed that Obama slept on get out of here man that seems so corny yeah but if he did do it I wouldn't be well I wouldn't be surprised if he was in Russia and, you know, he had some gorgeous women with him and they have

video of it. That I wouldn't be surprised. And by the way, I don't care. Me neither. I don't care. I don't care if he hired someone to pee on the bed. I don't care if he thinks it's funny to hire someone to pee on the bed. I don't think that that makes him a bad person. I think he's a rich guy who does fucked up shit sometimes because he's a rich guy. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't even smoke a drink. So shit sometimes because he's a rich guy. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't even think of it. He doesn't smoke or drink, so. Yeah. Maybe.

So that's how he gets his rocks off. Yeah. You know what? Maybe. Covered a lot of ground. Covered a lot of fucking ground. Let's wrap this up. So Mixed Mental Arts.

I like the new name. Not bad, right? It's great. Hunter Motz. Started episode 207. Hunter Motz is fantastic, too. He's great. Thanks for turning me on to him and getting me on the podcast.

He was wonderful. And Fighter and the Kid, tfatk.com. Come see us in that. Go there. You guys are doing live shows. You're doing a lot of live shows. January 18th, 19th. I'll be in Austin at Cap Cities February 1, 2, 3, 4.

I love it. Oh, shit. Get your tickets. That's one of the best clubs in the world. Cap Cities. God damn it, Austin, Texas. February 1 through 4. I can't wait.

Beautiful. All right, everybody. I'll be doing Aubrey's podcast there, too. Fuck yeah, you will. All right. We're done for today. I can't wait. Beautiful. All right, everybody. I'll be doing Aubrey's podcast there, too. Fuck yeah, you will. All right, we're done for today. See you, kids. Always a good fucking time.