The Joe Rogan Experience - #960 - Steve-O

Episode Date: May 15, 2017

Steve-O is a stunt performer, comedian, clown, actor, producer, author, and television personality.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- fighter jet to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere. How high was that? Do you know? Oh, I fucking forget. Shit. I fucking forget. But it wasn't that much higher than, you know. So a normal flight is like, what, 30,000 feet? 30,000 feet. And then, well, it's like, I've heard they go higher, right? They can go up to like 35,000 for a commercial flight? I want to say that it might have been like not much more than 50,000, but I can't back that up.

I don't remember. It was shockingly less than you would imagine. Oh, that's you. Yeah, there I am, dude. You had a video of it? Uh-huh. Yeah, it was for Wild Boys. Oh, no shit.

Oh, my God. Look, it's going straight up. Oh, my God. They used a lot of stock footage, but at the same time, on the way down, this motherfucker did twirls and fuck, it was like the gnarliest roller coaster ride ever.

And this is me filming myself. Like, look at that, dude. Oh my God. It's fucking night up there. Wow, that's incredible. Dude, that shows, for anybody who wants to say that the fucking world is flat,

that's fucking proof, motherfuckers. Well, you can see the curvature of the earth. Wow, that's nuts. And so when you were doing this, did you get close to blacking out? Like how was the G-force? I didn't get close to blacking out or anything like that. And I thought that it would be one thing. What it was was I was just fucking claustrophobic, man.

I get claustrophobic. I didn't like that. Did they tell you how many G-forces you were doing? That's another thing I can't remember. But I feel like there was more G shit going on when we did the zero gravity plane. Oh, okay. shit going on when we did the uh the zero gravity plane oh okay which uh you know it just kind of goes along and then it does a big bell curve kind of deal so you you become weightless right and uh that one you could feel yourself really like being pulled down with the g's or whatever

i did a flight with the fa18 with the blue angels once oh they took me up and they take you out. It's you go down to San Diego and then you travel east like through the desert It's weird. I don't know which Air Force Base is out there It's like real close to I guess close to Arizona or maybe even in Arizona but uh We got to seven and a half G's We were doing this crazy things where you go like through these mountain ranges and you're only like a hundred maybe two hundred feet off the ground. Really low to the ground. Like

turning and twisting and fucking bananas. Dude. Yeah dude. So they took you up in Wild Boys? What year was this? Was it okay? We were cool with the Russians then. Right. That was 2005. Yeah 2005. That was our last ever wild boys trip

oh yeah yeah and uh we brought knoxville with us knoxville we had some uh like russian army kind of dudes and and the knoxville's like shoot me with the nine millimeter gun with the rubber bullet while the dog bites me. What? Yeah, he was going for it. Our director, Jeff Tremaine, was like, hey, if you still have this in you, why don't we not do it for TV? Let's make another movie. And that was why we stopped doing Wild Boys

and made Jackass No. 2. If you still have this in you. You still want to get it beaten out with rubber bullets. We do. A lot of shit happened on that fucking, that last Wild Boys trip, man. There was a, we always, we had this practice of, like, for the censors, you know, like, it's called standards and practices. They'll be like, you know, they'll give back notes, like, you can't, you know, show this. And so we would film what we call red herrings, like, just blatantly ridiculous shit.

Right. It's never allowed, never going to be allowed on TV. But then we'll be like, okay, well, we'll cut this out. And so then we'll be able to keep some other shit. Right. So we would always go out of our way to film this fucked up stuff. And in Russia, we, me and one of the guys from the, from the crew put, like put on these animal suits. What was it at the time?

It wasn't panda bears it was polar bears with a big fucking mascot head and we fucking hired two hookers and had full on fucking hookers came in full porno we filled full fucking porno

and we included that in the episode and the notes came back from standards and practices like can you please like um that you have to take out the you know the cock sucking yeah the polar bear getting his dick sucked like the whole thing and uh yeah and and there was there was a little bit of fucking hooker action in that one you know and i'm not necessarily that stoked about it but um there was uh we went to we went to like a whorehouse brought this um hooker back to the hotel right just like a whole thing and then in in in the and and i don't think i ever could

even have sex with a with a hooker without like snuggling after i want to like snuggle and suddenly you know i'm like oh, just stay with me. I want to cuddle and stuff. And in the morning, this hooker, she tells me how much I owe her. And I'm like, that's fucking outrageous. There's no fucking way. I was like, basically,

I don't care if your fucking pimp wants to kick my ass and fucking kill me. I'm not paying that fucking much. It was that much? How much was it? I forget. It was so long ago. But, yeah, I was outraged.

So it wasn't negotiated beforehand? It just wasn't in that case. I remember clearly. I was like, you want that much? And I said, I'll give you this much, and that's how much you get, period. And we came out right like uh you know i gotta go film and uh walking through uh the the lobby knoxville is down there having breakfast this hooker comes walking by knoxville and she says that's not steve-o that's cheapo I mean, I was never even that much into like hookers, but, um, but, but, you know, in,

in looking back on it, I guess I, I really fucking kind of had sex with a bunch of hookers because, um, I had this girlfriend and, um, you know, like I work like a program of recovery i gotta be honest and shit and i had this girlfriend she was an english chick and she says um have you ever had sex with a prostitute i'm like oh fuck you know and i right i tell her uh what's up with like you know i i never did until i was in in england one time and uh you know there's we did this gumball rally where you race cars with all the rich guys. And they're getting hookers, and they got me one. And I told her the whole story about how I was like, can you give me a massage? And she's giving me a back rub.

And this hooker says, this is one expensive back rub. And I felt like she was making fun of me. And I said, oh, fuck it. And I put on some Motley Crue and i said oh fuck it and i put on some molly crew and put on a rubber and i humped her okay you know i told this story to my girlfriend she says i said okay what uh did you uh was there any other ones and i'm like oh fuck you know i'm like well in new zealand you know like there was a massage parlor and it turned out that that they just have sex with you you know like and and it's a joke you know it's

like i didn't i've like i i felt like i was having sex with a prostitute but she was a masseuse like she said there's another one i'm like well there's a time in indonesia oh no so it just kept rolling off yeah and the thing was that at that exact time we were she like she arranged this trip to go to Cornwall, this little surf town in England. Because I collect pictures of different countries. And I call it my surf passport. And I'm like, I want to get a surfing photo so I can include England. She says, I don't know why you're making a surf passport.

You should have a fucking hooker passport. It's so funny, too. Driving over here, I was thinking, man, fuck, I'm so nervous about going on Joe Rogan's podcast because how can I touch the last time? It was so epic. There's never been another interview that I've ever done that I've gotten more feedback. People just being like, dude never been another interview that i've ever done that has got that i've gotten

more feedback like people just being like dude i fucking heard that like people were like inspired people who are struggling with uh substance abuse and they're like man like that helped me helped me get sober like i just like me and howard stern like you name it any interview i've ever done in my life like it has this has been the one that I hear about the most and that I get the most positive feedback. I'm fucking grateful to you for that, man. Well, I'm grateful for you coming on. You can't compare yourself to yourself, though.

Don't ever do that. Hey, I get that. Fuck you over. It'll get you every time. I get that. I know. I saw that on Jim Jefferies. Jim Jefferies does.

I think he even did that on his special. He's like, oh, this special isn't as good as my last special. He said that on the special. Oh, you can't do that. Right. But that's the thing. I'm not going to do that too much. Got to be in the moment.

Right. In the moment, Steve-O. Thank you for that, Jim. You're an in the moment guy. I'm pretty good about that. But I should say, I'm not going to get in my head and I'm not going to myself out but i did want to come in hot so i just came out with the hooker stories that's good move it's always you're going from edge of space the earth isn't flat oh dude and chris ponny is my my wild boys coaster i got i remember at one point saying uh something to the

effect of like uh ah you know know, like I'm an astronaut, you know, and, and Pawnee is fucking nailed me so hard. It was so fucking funny. He says, he says, uh, you're not, not a virgin because you go to the edge of the girl's vagina. It's a good point. Right. You kind of have to cross the goal line. What was more dangerous, doing Jackass or doing Wild Boys? Dude, it had to be Wild Boys. That's what I think. A thousand times over, man.

Because I watch Jackass and I go, wow, these guys are so crazy. But I watch Wild Boys and literally my asshole just tightens up. Oh, dude. My toes curl. I start clenching my hands together. I can't do it. I don't know how the fuck you guys did it and got away with it right there's no question man like uh fucking lions tigers bears venomous reptiles

yeah when that lion climbed a tree and bit your fucking hat here's the thing right and here's the thing and and and there is a distinction about this um jackass would completely fade there's so much integrity in Jackass. Knoxville would not like ever. People say, is the stuff you do real? Fuck yeah, it's real, 100%. And with Wild Boys there's no, I mean, what you see is it happened, but what we were dishonest about with Wild Boys is like locations. We would pretend that we were in Africa when really they had this fucking, in California there's a company called like Hollywood Animals, right?

Where they've got like, you know, whatever. They've got the fucking lions and the tigers and shit. Now when we went over to Africa the first time, we brought the zebra suit. Every intention of being on safari, playing around in front of lions. But that just wasn't in the cards. They were like, no, that's not going to happen.

Oh my God, they'd kill you. Yeah, we filmed this great whole thing, going through the safari in the two-man zebra suit. But the only way we could get the end was to come back to California. And I remember Jay Leno fucking called us out. The first time we went on the Jay Leno show to promote Wild Boys.

He says, you know, I watched want you can do the dressing room you know he says I watched that uh that um lion clip with the the two-man zebra suit and I'm thinking hmm you know I've never seen gravel like that you know in Africa you know on the ground and he says the way that the lion went for the zebra head. He said, no part of that lion wants that fake zebra head. You know, it doesn't make sense. And he was so right. He nailed it 100%.

He's like, I'm guessing what they did was they rubbed some kind of shit on the zebra head to attract the lion to it. And he just broke it down. You know,

the last thing I want to do is be a fucking fan of Jay Leno. Jay Leno's a good guy. Okay. Okay. He is. I'm telling you, man. He just seems weird because he did The Tonight Show for so long. Okay.

And I'm not trying to, like, just piggyback on Howard Stern being a Stern fan. But I don't know. I got a weird vibe myself from Jay Leno. But I'll take a word for it. He impressed the shit out of me with calling out that line bit. What weird vibe did you get from him? I don't know. I just felt like for all the times that we were guests or that I was on his show,

I just felt like, yeah i don't know is it yeah i think it's fair to say i felt like maybe a little bit talked down to in a way i felt like sort of i like i like the impression that i got was that whoever booked us on the show wasn't him and that he was sort of like under protest like you know maybe i'm just and that he was sort of like under protest. Like, you know, maybe I'm just a sensitive guy. Well, he was sort of under protest for almost everything that was on his show. Right. I mean, it was really a mess.

Look, Jay Leno started out as one of the top stand-up comics in the world. He was a fucking killer. He was a young guy who would go on Letterman and he was edgy. And this is like, you know, 1970s or early 1980s, whatever. And then he got the tonight show and when he got the tonight show he became a tonight show host and he never put out he does

still to this day doesn't put out any stand-up you can't see it anywhere other than like the tonight show monologues he does it every week but he does the same act oh shit yeah he doesn't change his shit it's like it's real weird he's a weird guy but what his real i mean he's still a great comic but his real passion is cars like if you're a car guy and you go over to his place you you get to see the real jay leno you're like oh you should have been doing like i did his show uh jay leno's garage i was like you should have been doing this the whole time why did you even fuck with the tonight show? Like you're you're a fucking monster when it comes to cars. He's fun. He's loose He knows everything about cars you get to see the real him he lights up

I remember we were promoting Jackass 3d on the tonight show went over there And we did the t-ball thing right like where it's like a t-ball But it's got an arm and you hit it and then it's when it hits me in the nuts And and we did it I think it was like during rehearsal or something We did it like during rehearsal fully hit me in the nuts So and and I wanted to demonstrate that I wasn't wearing a cup right right And I had these tighty whiteys on and I fucking pulled down my tighty whiteys to show it was just my dick

Right didn't really need to do I'm sure Jay Leno you did yeah That's part of the problem. He's so old school. Right. And that's part of the problem. I see it clearly now. And he said, he goes, it looks like a dick, just a lot smaller. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Right. But that was just part of, I don't know, that was just part of where I got that vibe from him. But the last thing, I don't want to fucking... I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

And then there was all that dispute with him and Howard Stern. Sure. Because what was it going on? Writers were taking bits from Stern and doing it on... Right. I can't even remember it. Just Howard so... Yeah.

Howard always hated him. But Howard hated Johnny Carson, too. Right. You know what, man? That's one of those things where a lot of those guys, you know, especially like if you have a platform like Howard and you feel dissed by some guy who's got another platform. Like, well, fuck this guy. Time to go to war. Sure.

Because Howard's whole thing was about conflict. Conflict. His ratings. He was the king of ratings. Right. With Jay Leno and Howard, it was personal. With Howard and Carson, I think it was just Howard had the impression that Carson was a bad dude hmm I don't know I think he had a personal thing with him too maybe I'm just making that up I don't

know but I'm telling you man I I knew Jay from The Tonight Show and knew Jay from when I was on NBC I've seen him on here with you too dude he was great on here yeah the stories about like doing stand-up for the mob shows like and seeing some psychopath mob guy yell at a priest dude they were great fucking stories hey dude like um i i fucking i recant anything negative i said about jay leno i mean plus i should say i'm fucking grateful to jay leno because he had me on right yeah i never i was never on letterman no yeah well that's the thing too with those dudes if you did one you couldn't do the other.

Right. Unless you're like, you know, someone who's like a humongous star. Yeah, those shows suck. They really do. They're just, I mean, no disrespect to them, but those five-minute things where you sit on the couch, then you cut to the next thing. It's just. Right.

It's just a shitty way to get to know somebody. And it's gone downhill from there because all anybody gives a fuck about is what's going to take off on the internet the next day. Exactly. And so they're not even focused on anything except some fucking gimmick that's going to... Some highlight reel clip. Right. Yeah. Did you see the Colbert thing where he went off on Trump?

I did. I couldn't fucking believe it. I was watching it and I tweeted about this. I don't think kids today have any idea how strange it is to watch a talk show host call the president's mouth a cock holster. Okay. It's just like, what? He's talking about the president. I mean, I know it's Donald Trump, but it's still the president.

It's so weird. There's a lot of weird stuff going on. And then did you see Colbert responding to Trump's response? That made me uncomfortable. Why? I'm sure people don't want to even hear about this. No, please do. It made me uncomfortable where he's like, hmm, I won.

And, you know, like, I mean, it's again, it's just playing into, you know, what can I, I don't know. Well, they're playing on, what he said was he got Trump to respond. He was trying to get the president to say his name for so long and he finally did. And it was, I don't know. But what he said was that I thought you,

of all the things that I thought you were dumb about, the one thing that I thought you knew about was show business. I thought you understood show business. So I was trying to get you to respond, and you did, so I win. Right. Which is just, okay, so now the president, and this is even weirder,

because now the president is responding to a guy who's essentially saying that he's a fucking troll. I mean, Stephen Colbert, multimillionaire, talk show host on a major network, I mean, Stephen Colbert, multimillionaire, talk show host on a major network, took over the Letterman spot, is now admitting that he's essentially

like a guy on Twitter that has a fucking egg icon. I think that that might have been what made me feel uncomfortable. Yeah. Well, it's just low level. Yeah. Super low level.

The whole thing was low level. And it wasn't, like all the stuff that Trump was saying about how they were going to take him off and they were going to, you know, the guy Corden who came after, they were going to put James Corden into Colbert's time slot. Like, I mean, all the reports I saw were that they were trying to get Colbert the fuck out. And then all of a sudden he started slamming Trump. And now he's, like, number one out of everybody in late night. Well, that's how it goes in that stupid fucking business They just have to get people to pay attention to him and sometimes that's the way to do it I mean, maybe Colbert just got desperado, but it's the whole thing is so fucking strange

Like Colbert strange man. He's a like a hardcore Catholic Oh, yeah hardcore, which is even weirder that he's calling the president's mouth a cock holster if he's a hardcore catholic it's like where do your where your standards lie like where do you uh where do you draw that line right it's not very catholic of you it's it's like the guy from megadeth the the lead singer of megadeth became like a super hardcore christian really and now won't sing some of his songs. Get the fuck out of here. No. No way. I swear.

Oh my God. And he won't perform with some certain death metal bands on the day. Oh my God. Come on. Yeah.

Oh God. It's fucking, it's fantastic. Man, there's something happens. I don't know if you notice this, but something happens that I've been noticing

as, you know, I'm almost 50. I'll be know if you notice this, but something happens that I've been noticing as, you know, I'm almost 50. I'll be 50 in August. Dude, bless your heart. Bless your heart. I'll be 43 next month. Dude, it just creeps up on you. Dude, time moves faster as it goes by.

If, well, you know what it is? It's like your reference to time is different because when you're six, a year is a sixth of your life. Okay. When you're 49, it's like another year. It's like Also, you're busy as fuck so the days keep moving quick Your reference of time. I think it also fucking goes by faster. It seems like it goes by faster, right? You have more of them to think about I had a bit that I was working on for the long time

I don't know if I'm gonna resurrect it but the premise is that God must hate us that's the premise? why? if he hates you you'd be dead you'd be suffering you live in like a estivo how could God hate you? he loves you

it's fucking comedy right? it's got to make sense though right? sure and I back it up I back it up Well, I mean, it's fucking comedy, right? I mean, but the premise is... It's got to make sense, though, right? Sure. And I back it up, dude. I back it up. I bet you do. Okay, now, we're the only living organism, right, that can, like, watch and have an opinion of itself wilting. You know, right?

That's a good point. It's a fucking really good point. You know, a fucking banana's not looking in the mirror saying, oh, fuck, I'm bruising. Right. You know, right? That's a good point. It's a fucking really good point. You know, a fucking banana is not looking in the mirror saying, oh, fuck, I'm bruising. Right. You know, this sucks. Like, I don't look as good as I did fucking, you know, I'm going rotten. Well, what's really weird is when you watch, do you watch videos of yourself from like a long time ago and you see how different you look?

Yes. But I think of a lot of people, I look pretty fucking, I look less different. Well, thank you. I look less different. Well, thank you. I look less different than other people. Now I get like super sensitive about like, you know,

if I post a picture online, it's like, motherfucker's old, you know, like, you know, I like that shit effect. Does it?

It affects, like I wish it didn't, but it does. I'm this fucking sensitive guy. Motherfucker's old. But now I got a project that I'm working on where i'm digging up like old ass footage and i'm looking at it i'm thinking i don't look that much fucking different

fuck all these people you know maybe you're delusional i mean i look younger for sure but i don't i don't like you know like uh there was there was a i don't know like i well you've kept your body in reasonable shape. You're in good shape. You're healthy. The real issue is when people balloon. I looked at Kathleen Turner. Do you remember Kathleen Turner?

She went to my high school in London, England. Dude, she was so hot when she was young. And now she's like, she's got that alcoholic face where people don't just get older, but everything sort of balloons and, you know, your cheeks balloon and your chin balloons. Sure. It's all swelling. It's crazy, too. Like, I went to high school all four years in London, England, at the American school

in London, England. And there's only... It's called the American school? It's called the American school in London, England. That's why I don't have an accent accent because everyone was just American at the school. Oh, really? So it was actually everyone at the school was American? Yeah.

In England, they have different fucking kind of high school. It's not grades. It's like forms. You graduate when you're 16. It's all different curriculum. But this is in England, in London, and you take SATs. You have American. So it's just like American.

It's an American school in London, yeah. Your folks were living in England? Folks, correct. Yeah, I grew up in five different countries. Did you really? Yeah, I was born in England and when I was six months old and moved to Brazil, my family moved to Brazil. No one would ever fucking guess this, but my dad was like a baller ass corporate executive.

Really? would ever fucking guess this but my dad was like a baller ass corporate executive really and when i was six months old my family moved to brazil because my dad became the president of pepsi cola in all of brazil holy shit yeah so he did so they were fucking going you know he had shit going on like right um they had live-in maids and um I was raised by fucking, like, these Brazilian servants that lived in the house. So I spoke my first words in Portuguese. Wow. Because my parents didn't, my parents just didn't fucking pay attention to me at all. So that's what made you crazy. Perhaps, yeah.

How do they deal with you now? Well, my mom died in 2003 and my dad and i are fucking tight as fuck everything that's cool yeah everything that the like drove us apart brought us together yeah i spoke my first words in portuguese in brazil when i was two years old moved to venezuela and i spoke fluent spanish in nursery school in Caracas, Venezuela. Holy shit. When I was four years old, moved to Connecticut. So by the time I was three, I spoke three languages fluently. By the time I was five, I forgot two of them completely.

And then when I was six years old, we moved to Miami. When I was nine years old, moved to London, England. When I was 12 years old, moved to Canada when I was nine years old moved to London England when I was 12 years old moved to Canada lived in Toronto and then 13 years old back to England and I stayed there all through high school wow so this is all your dad just being an executive for different companies yeah the move from Brazil to Venezuela dad got promoted to um fuck the president of Pepsi-Cola in South America, I think. Oh. Maybe all of South America. I'm not sure.

Then when we moved to Connecticut, I want to say that's when dad became a fucking big tobacco CEO. Whoa. Which is hilarious. Did he smoke? He never fucking took a puff on a cigarette in his life, ever. Wow, just was doing it as an executive. Yeah, fucking, dude, dad sold soda, Pepsi, fucking sugar water, and then cigarettes. And then when we were living in Miami, this was the 1980s, and all of a sudden it came to light that cigarettes were bad for you.

And all the tobacco companies uh started buying up food companies you know because they're thinking fuck we got to get out we got to get out of this right and so uh dad worked for rjr which is a tobacco company and rjr rj reynolds what it was rj reynolds and they bought nabisco and the companies merged it became rjr Nabisco. And that dad had an aberrationally good year that year. Dad ended up becoming like the president of Nabisco and shit. Wow. Yeah. I forget if it was, I don't really know what his title was.

So they didn't figure out until the 1980s that cigarettes were bad for you? They only really, it only became a legal issue in the 80s. Like lawsuits and shit? Right. They only really got fucking a legal issue in the 80s. Like lawsuits and shit? Right. They only really got fucking scared of lawsuits in the 80s. You know what's crazy? I just read something about tobacco companies, that they're making more money now than ever. That less people smoke, but they charge more for cigarettes now than they ever have before.

Oh my God, in Australia, it's $20 fucking dollars a pack. What? $20 fucking dollars a pack. $20 American or $20 Australian? Well, $20 a pack. What? $20 a pack. $20 American or $20 Australian? $20 Australian. What's the exchange rate? It's full parity to the Canadian dollar. Okay, so pretty close to our dollar.

One Australian dollar is $0.75 for American. Dude, it's so fucking funny. I was over there. I've done a couple Australia tours, a few Australia tours. And I went in there. They've done a couple Australia, a few Australia tours. And I went in there. They got the fucking cigarettes locked up. Like, you can't even see them. They're in a fucking, like, a gun cabinet.

You know? You got to ask them to unlock the gun cabinet, which you can't even see into. And then, like, it's illegal for them to even have a fucking logo. Like, there's no logo. There's no nothing. Like, even the name. Like Marl don't they can't use the logo the the brand name of marlboro every fucking cigarettes uh the name of the company has to be in the same fucking font they can't even they can't even have the marlboro logo or font it's all a uniform font that says the company and the entire fucking pack is just the most,

the whole fucking packaging is nothing but one gigantic photo of like a dead baby. Right. Like the most hilarious fucking like shit. And, and, and I'm telling you that's, and it's $20 per pack and everybody's fucking smoking. I think that's,

that's like the craziest thing about it, is that they charge more than ever. Oh, yeah, that dude, there you go. Whoa, go full screen with that. Jesus Christ. Smoking causes blindness. Who the fuck's ever gone blind? Smoking causes throat and mouth cancer.

Brand. You see? Brand. And in the same fucking font. Wow. Oh, my God. It's so fucking hilarious, dude. I laughed so hard.

And it doesn't work. Dude. It doesn't keep people from buying it. That's what's hilarious. It doesn't work. And, dude, I mean, imagine that. Imagine picking up a new pack every day. That is so fucking bizarre.

That's so bizarre. They got dead babies. Smoking causes emphysema. Grab my frackin' O's. Dude, every single one of them is so fucking hilarious. Yeah, I've never seen that. I've seen in England they have a big picture of people that have lung cancer and shit on the cover. And it says smoking will kill you, but they don't have this shit.

What the fuck? It causes peripheral vascular disease. It makes your feet rot. Gangrene. Causes peripheral vascular disease. It makes your feet rot. Gangrene. Dude, the most tame picture I saw on a pack of cigarettes was a picture of a toilet with blood in the water.

And I forget what the point was on that one, but cigarettes make your asshole bleed. Isn't it crazy that that doesn't even work? Like you're selling someone something that you're showing them all the terrible shit that it could do. And everybody's like, yeah, worth it. Right. Worth it for a puff. I know. I used to be convinced.

I remember Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew used to pester me to try to get me on that celebrity rehab show before I was sober. Right. And he had another project which was trying to, it was focused on getting people to quit smoking cigarettes. Were you smoking at the time? I smoked for fucking 17 years. I started smoking when I was 16 and stopped when I was 33. Whoa. Yeah, 17 years I fucking smoked, man.

Do you feel any ill effects of it now at 43? Almost 43. How's your cardio? I think it's pretty good. What fucked up my cardio was all that nitrous oxide dude i fucked up my dude i went i went through those whippet cartridges yeah there's 24 per box and there's 25 boxes per case so per case there's 600 cartridges and it was not unusual for me to go through 600 in like 24 hours, 24 to 36 hours.

What? I took every measure to try to limit like the fucking air that went into my lungs to try to make it like all nitrous oxide. Like I was the whole time I'm holding in a lung full of that shit and I'm'm just with my fucking can, the, the canister from Starbucks and shit. I'm like, I was like a fucking wizard at like loading up six into while holding the last fucking ones, you know? And, and dear,

that was when all the, all the crazy shit would go down. Cause I would be like awake on cocaine for three days and inhaling nothing but nitrous oxide. And at that point is when shit starts popping off. And people, people are, people are walking around my apartment who are never physically there. You know, I was seeing a bunch of shit. Oh dude.

Like actual fucking people, man. I watched a dude walk through my apartment and fucking pick up, pick up my bong and take a hit and blow out smoke and fucking then like put it down. And just the dude walked through the wall he was never fucking there ever whoa i had that he looked as real as i do or jimmy does yeah dude i had fucking like tactile hallucinations i had fucking you could feel things big time dude because here's like here's my whole thing and i kind of still believe this to this day, you know, that like our little three-dimensional experience is very small part of what's going on in the universe, right? There's dimensions, there's, you know, all frequencies, everything.

And that like, that if you do enough drugs, like that the barriers between these different compartments of the universe and become eroded somehow, you know, like I started hearing voices. And to an extent, I fucking believe still that that shit was real. Like these spirits that were fucking talking to me, I'm hearing the voices. I had a conversation with a friend of mine who sells weed about a very similar thing where I was saying that I think that something happens when you, when you smoke pot, it's not just that you get high, but that the way you interface with the world changes and then the world changes because of that. Not, not the world changes like a world change for you or for him, but the world that I'm experiencing is different. Yeah. Like in the quantum physics

kind of sense. I don't know. I'm too stupid for that. Right. Me too. But what I'm saying is that my feeling about the world is that when you, when you change the way your brain works, which is essentially what you do when you get really high and you change the way you think about the world, I think the world that you experience is different. Sure. It's like, you know, like people think like, this is a very simplistic way of looking at it, but it's sort of parallel. You know, some people think oh the world sucks everything sucks and their life always sucks and then there's people that are always super positive

and super happy and their life is always happy there's something about when you get like really high like especially marijuana because marijuana is a sensitivity drug it's almost like the opposite of a lot of drugs because a lot of drugs make you insensitive like Like alcohol makes you blunt, right? You're not aware of people looking at you. You don't give a fuck. You're like, whoa, you get drunk. You're loud and you're crazy. Your social cues get skewed. You don't see. Marijuana is the opposite. Marijuana, you get like really aware of other people. People will call it paranoid because you start thinking about all these possibilities that you never thought of before.

But I feel like the way you interface with the world becomes very different. You're aware of all these different possibilities. You start thinking about things that you fucked up when you were in high school. You know, you start thinking. Mushrooms are the worst for that. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, mushrooms are the worst for that. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, God, I made a mistake. Make you accountable. I get so introspective. I mean, it's been forever since... But is it too introspective? I got too introspective. But how to? Just start picking myself apart, like, you know, putting myself on trial in a sense.

Right. You know, like, just too introspective where I've just, like, determined that I just suck, you know, putting myself on trial in a sense, you know, like, uh, just too introspective or I'm just like determined that I just suck, you know? Well, maybe that's just a perspective. Like, I think the introspective aspect of it, one of the reasons why it comes up, it feels like to me is because there's a bunch of shit about yourself that you don't like, but you don't address. And so then if it forces you, Hey, in order to truly live in the moment, you have to be balanced. You have to be balanced. You have to be like, I've looked at it all, and I understand I've made mistakes, and here's where I'm at.

But if you've never looked at yourself, if you've never looked at those mistakes, then you have this backlog of shit you have to deal with. Right. And I agree with that 100%. Like you're in debt. I agree with that, except when it becomes just a morbid fucking flogging of oneself. Right. Oh, yeah. For sure.

Which is what it would come to. But I feel like that morbid flogging of yourself comes from you. The debt analogy is a good analogy. Because if you're in massive debt and you go to spend money, you're like, I don't even have any money. How am I spending this money? Whereas if you're even and you go to spend the money, you're like, no big deal. I'm just spending some money. It's normal. Right. I think that when you don't have an accounting of who you are and what you've done, and especially I think the big one is your effect on other people. You know, that's the one that comes up with me on mushrooms or on pot, especially

on edibles. It's like how I've interacted with other people. And even if I thought I was justified, and maybe I was justified, when it comes up on pot, especially on edibles. For me, at least, that's where I feel like the most accountable. I have to think about my behavior the most. I always feel like with the edible thing, it always feels like, could I have done better? Instead of just being like, was I okay? Like, yeah, that guy was being a dick to you yeah fuck him it's never that it's always like maybe I could have caught on earlier to how he was feeling and reassessed how I was communicating with him and instead of being defensive or

aggressive right maybe I could have handled it better well hey man sounds like you're working a great spiritual program with your edibles well I try to do it all the time but when I'm when I'm with edibles like I've said this before and people go oh no but I think pot makes you a better person I really do because I think all that responsibility and accountability I wish I could smoke pot but you know my pot is connected to my booze bone and my booze bone is connected to my... You don't have to.

Right. Look, you don't... Honestly, no one has to do anything. I get as much high and as much mental clarity from yoga as I do from anything. I really do. Dope. I mean, if someone told me I couldn't smoke pot for the rest of my life, but I could do yoga, or I could just smoke pot for the rest of my life and not do yoga.

I think I would take the yoga. Wow. I really do. All right. Because yoga gives me, I mean, I love the feeling of pot. I really do. But yoga gives me a relaxation when it's over. There's a clarity that comes from things.

After post-yoga class, that is the friendliest, nicest group of fucking people. Go stand. You want to meet some nice folks? Stand outside of a yoga class when the yoga class is exiting. Right. You'll meet like the most balanced, nice people because they drained all the bullshit out of themselves. Hey, can we hit pause so I can take a leak?

Already? No, I told you. You're an animal. Go. We're not, we're not pausing, though. He's such a good guy. He really is. He's such a good guy, and he's always worried that he's not a good guy, and he's always

coming down on himself. We'll talk about this a little bit. Al Madrigal, I'll set this up so he doesn't have to, so he doesn't have to be uncomfortable. Al Madrigal, when he was here, was talking about he gets mad at guys like Steve-O because Steve-O is a guy who kind of came to stand up after he did other things. And Al's like, I don't want the thing that is like what I feel is like my chosen thing in life, the most amazing thing in life to me, to be something that someone comes to as a last resort but al even thinks it's stupid that he thinks like that and then so like when he said it like steve-o was kind of bummed out so steve-o texted me about it and steve-o and i talked and i we were supposed to do a podcast anyway so there was like this question of whether

or not we should talk about it like when it came to the actual show itself. But my feeling on all that stuff is that it's whoever does stand up, does stand up. Like it's bullshit. I was just explaining that you're a great guy and the whole Al magical thing without you having to be in the room and feel uncomfortable. Oh, whatever.

But, but I think that anybody, uh, like that judgment thing of like, you, this is not a standup. You're not a stand-up. He's not a stand-up It's so insecure. It's so crazy. Especially when your premise is that you care so much about Yeah, well, I love what you said to me at the comedy store the other night

You said well, I just love stand-up. So like I want more I want there to be more of it Yeah, I want more people doing stand-up. I love it Yeah Yeah, if you're doing stand-up and people are laughing that's stand-up it doesn't I don't care if you're a fucking surgeon You know if you're a brain surgeon and you decide to do stand-up at night Are you not a stand-up like once you do stand-up comedy to me you go on stage you tell some jokes people laugh You're a fucking comic, you know, I mean, I don't care if it's an open mic night. You're a comic.

Sure. You might not be a professional stand-up comedian. Right. But if someone says, oh, I'm a comic too. Like, okay. It doesn't mean you're good. Like, you know, you could be a guy who works on cars, but you just fuck up constantly. It doesn't make you a professional mechanic.

You know what I'm saying? Right. It's like, but once you, you're doing it. We're all doing the same thing. You could suck one dick. one dick yeah you're a cocksucker you're a cocksucker you might not be good at it the guy might have me let me tell you about the way that guy sucks dick right he's terrible at it i got my dick sucked by a guy one time i was totally underwhelmed yeah why did that happen uh it was... Was it on purpose? Well, it started out like...

A joke? No, it wasn't a joke. A bet? This happened in... Tuesday? December of 2002. Whoa. That's pretty recent.

I was doing a show at the 930 Club in D.C. After the show, there was... It's a great place great place fucking wasted I was just really wasted and I had this shady manager and he was really wasted too and he was talking to this

person who appeared to be a hot chick right appeared to be a hot chick and I was like hmm and so I kind of started talking to this

person who appeared to be a hot chick and and wooed the person away from the shady manager and i was feeling really good about it you know turns out in hindsight that had we had we not been so intoxicated it was rather evident but we were really intoxicated so we were walking away from

the from the 9 30 club um if that was the safari or 9 30 one of the two i don't think they have safari anymore but walking down the street going to going to the next place, someone pulls me aside. A friend pulls me aside and says, hey, just wanted you to know that the person is a hermaphrodite was what the was described as hermaphrodite meaning i guess you know that meaning like both both women in um and uh they described that the person had had a surgical operation to remove the male parts so i was kind of a chick right right and i was just like oh whatever i don't care you know you know i was just like oh whatever you know wound up i wrote about this in my book um about um like i really had this sense you know i i you know we came back to the hotel and and um

and uh the the sense that i got and this is a pretty fucking outrageous take on it, was that here was this person who was kind of, I don't know, damage is a mean word, but this person wanted to be loved, wanted to be accepted. There was some kind of thing, and I wanted this person to feel loved No, and that was kind of where the I think that like that was part of what was going on, you know I was like, hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna play ball with this person and we're gonna snuggle all night and so like so then that was in the whole in the course course of the evening, there was oral sex. And a while later, this is where it gets really crazy. I was doing that show, Dr. Drew's Loveline Show, and talked to Dr. Drew.

Dr. Drew says, you know, I'm paraphrasing. He says, Steve-O, there's no such thing as a hermaphrodite. What happened was a dude sucked your dick. Wait a minute. There's no such thing as a hermaphrodite what happened was a dude sucked your dick wait a minute there's no such thing as a hermaphrodite that's what dr drew told me i don't think that's true well you know and i'm not a doctor so i probably shouldn't say that i don't understand that wrong about pot he's not a pot smoker dr drew was i love dr drew almost more than anybody, but the first chink in his armor happened when I asked him, Dr. Drew, why is jerking off so much more pleasurable if you tickle your balls while you're doing it?

And he said, I didn't know that was the case. What? Yes. What? How do you think Dr. Drew jerks off? I think he jerks off? I think he jerks off with his head out the window. I was like, Drew, I thought you knew everything.

What? Because your balls feel good. Because it feels good to touch your balls. The reason why it feels good for other people to touch your balls. Like, listen, rub your own neck. It feels good to rub your own neck. Right. Just like it feels good to get a massage. Right. Jesus Christ, of course it feels good to rub your balls. What, listen, rub your own neck. It feels good to rub your own neck. Right. Just like it feels good to get a massage. Right.

Jesus Christ, of course it feels good to rub your balls. What a dumb answer. Right. But since you brought up the Allomagical thing. Pull up hermaphrodite. Find out if that's true. I need to know. Because I'm pretty sure that it's rare, but it does exist, that there have been people

that have been born. He said fucking androgynous, I think is, is it androgynous is something, but, uh, he says hermaphrodite does not exist. And well, I don't, that doesn't seem to me. Maybe he's just fucking around with you. That doesn't seem to make sense though. I don't think so because it's a medical term. I've talked to him about it on many occasions. Yeah. Yeah. Well he, I like Dr. Drew. I don Dr. Drew. I don't want to shit on Dr. Drew. I love him. He's a good guy, but he fucked up.

He fucked up when he started talking about Hillary Clinton's medical condition on the air. And they fired him from CNN for it. I know. You can't do that. Right. You can't do that. If you're a doctor and you start talking about someone's medical condition without actually appraising them physically... Well, you see that in the tabloid magazines.

This doctor commented, but then they have to clarify that this doctor, the person they're talking about wasn't ever one of their patients. Well, he made an assessment about her health. Right. And that's dangerous because you're doing it on television. You're talking about someone who's running for president. Meanwhile, look, he's right in some ways. She blacked out, hit her head, had brain trauma that Bill Clinton talked about publicly. blacked out, hit her head, had brain trauma that Bill Clinton talked about publicly.

Bill Clinton talked about how she was in recovery for six months from brain trauma, from having a seizure, falling down and smashing her head off the ground. When you're 67 years old or however old she was when that happened, that's really dangerous. I know a lot about head trauma. I've researched a lot about head trauma. I've experienced a bunch myself, as I'm sure you have. I know you did from Tim Kennedy. Right. You're fucking special.

I talked to you about it afterwards. I'm like, dude, you can't let somebody do that to you. I know. I asked him to drop me on my head. He dropped me. He lifted me up by my neck, choking me out with my feet off the ground. And then he let you go. That's so dope.

And they dropped me from up there. And dropped you on your head. That's so bad for you. And my head bounced like a basketball. You could have died, for sure. People die from that all the time. Yeah, but the back of the head's more soft, too. Oh, my God. That's so bad for you. And my head bounced like a basketball. You could have died, for sure. People die from that all the time. The back of the head

is more soft, too. Oh my God. It's super dangerous. Yeah. Like anytime you fall and you hit your head, this is how you have to think about it.

I'm not going to do that again. Please don't. Don't think of it as hitting your head. Think of it as you getting hit by the world. That's what it's like. The whole world

is like slamming into your fucking head. And I was talking to Tony Hawk about the CTE stuff. Oh, it's so bad and he said that uh that if you have a gene that predisposes you to alzheimer's then your brain doesn't um regenerate or heal you know and um and so so if so you're more fucked you're more at risk

for cte if that's the case if you have that gene if you don't have the gene then you're more fucked. You're more at risk for CTE if that's the case, if you have that gene. If you don't have the gene, then you're better off. And he said, so I went and got it. I went and got this test, and it determined that I don't have the gene. So I was like, okay, cool. And I thought about it for a while, and then I had to text him like, hey, so what were you going to do if it turned out that you did have the gene? And he's like, oh, I didn't have a plan. So then I asked myself, do I want to go get that test? Because what happens if it turns out that you do have the gene? There's like oh i didn't have a plan so then i asked myself do i want to go get

that test because what happens if it turns out that you do have the gene there's nothing to do about it yeah you're super bummed i don't want to be bummed yeah well there's there's ways you can i guess you could probably mitigate the onset of alzheimer's now i would have to like look at what they're doing now and what you can figure out and they're working hard at it but yeah honest fucking on that shit yeah but this i mean really you need medical science to figure out like they have to figure out i mean there has to be like some pretty legitimate studies and those studies take a long time because you have to follow people with alzheimer's you got to try one way with one group and another way with another group and see like what the you know which group has more progress

but the bottom line is anytime you're getting hit in the head, it's fucking bad. Tennis players get concussions. People get concussions from playing soccer. You know who gets brain trauma? This gets really crazy. People ride jet skis. The bouncing of jet skis.

Oh, yeah. Shit. It shakes your fucking brain inside your head. And I'm only thinking of times when I got hit in the head hard enough that I actually lost time. You know, where like a time traveled because I blacked out. Right. Like I got in the ring with the fucking Monday Night Raw, the wrestling. This was so fucking terrible.

It was so bad because here's the thing. I was never a fucking wrestling fan. I never got into it. I just didn't understand it. Right. And so when we got in the fucking ring to promote it, we kind of walked through what the moves were going to be with this wrestler who's since passed away.

His name is Umaga, this fucking jet guy. They called him the Samoan Bulldozer. And so we walked kind of through what it was. And I'm going to do a backflip off the top rope. And he's going to dozer. So we walked through what it was, and I'm going to do a backflip off the top rope, and he's going to do this, and he's going to knock me over. It was pretty incredible how they just very loosely walked through. Choreographed it, right. Very loosely choreographed.

But we know what the moves are, and we know what's supposed to be the final move. What I did not know, and this proved to be really bad, is that I did not know that the match is not fucking over until you actually play dead you have to be like completely still so at the end when he was supposed to uh there was some fucking pretty major hit like to my head or or to my whatever it was i can't remember but the final hit like in in in when we were doing it live it was he was hitting so much fucking harder we were doing it live it was he was

hitting so much fucking harder oh yeah i know what it was he jumped off the top rope on and and and and fucking landed on landed on me yeah oh geez here it is yeah he jumped off the top rope and the size of that fucking oh no he did it yeah oh my god so now here's the thing that's it's supposed to be over but if you notice I'm fucking not playing dead. I'm rolling around like, see, I'm moving around. So you didn't know? And so here he notices. It's supposed to be over at this point.

But he's offended because he's like, I'm not. Now, this is never supposed to happen. Look at this elbow. Boom. Oh, my God. Did you see that? Did that hit you? That knocked me out.

And I don't remember anything after that so you're i don't remember leaving the ring like this yeah i'm begging him i'm praying to him but the thing is that i'm still oh my god and he's still throwing in his world it's not over until you play dead but i didn't know that you see they didn't even show the end of the match oh my god they never should they just cut away from it because it got so ugly and i don't remember leaving the ring And then on top of that I went home and fucking destroyed my brain some more with the goddamn nitrous Did you talk to him afterwards hey man, why'd you fucking crack me in the head? He was cool with me. I went back

I went back to And and like worked my way in I was like with my video camera trying to get him to fucking choke me unconscious like Tim Kennedy did you know I wanted to film that for a thing and he was totally down but then like they got hip to what I was doing there like and all the

WWE brass like kind of got me kicked out he was cool with me but yeah that's offensive to a wrestler to get in there and play in their world and not like Not just give in

Because when I get hit really hard like to me like I react I laugh You know like whatever like it's a thing and you know like I'm reacting to it and right But you got a that was offensive to him. Yeah, you have it has to be final It has to be over that elbow to the head was the fucking I can imagine that giant dude. Yeah What happened to him? How'd he pass away? I think he had a heart attack. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, that guy was great. A lot of those wrestlers, they get hooked on pills because they're in pain all the time. It's a big, big problem with pro wrestling. Pro wrestling is one of the most unappreciated or underappreciated things in terms of like how difficult it is for the performers it's one of the most difficult jobs a person can do those guys are on tour hundreds of days a year if not 300 days a year right they're constantly on the road and they're doing that all the time they're slamming into each other throwing each other on the ground pile driving each other

slamming jumping from the top rope i get get it, man. Massive, massive trauma. Those guys all suffer from some kind of trauma. For sure. Yeah. It's horrible. And that was a heavy blackout. And I can think of a few times where I just blacked out because I hit my head so hard. And then there's other times where I hit my head and then started and the nausea kicks

in and I started barfing. Like that happened when I was 10 years old. Yeah, well, you probably got a lot of brain damage, bro. Yeah. And what's fucked up about it is that it doesn't affect me now, but that's just creeping up on me for later. Well, it definitely affects you now. It's just like how much does it affect you?

It's like you ever wake up, I'm sure you've broken up, hungover, and you're like, oh, God, I feel like shit. Well, that's how you feel because of what you did to to your body but if that's how you felt every day you would just get used to that that's that that would be who you are and when you fuck your brain up well the weird thing is you never go back to how you used to feel it's not like you can hit a switch and you go how was i when i was 18 and i'd never been hit in the head let me hit the switch click oh so much clarity that that's not available right so you just deal with how you are like you ever wake up in the morning and you just feel kind of stupid you can't forget where your keys are what am i supposed to do today you just feel dull everybody's been there right just feel dull maybe

you feel jet lagged like you know jet lag you're like oh just if anything i'd feel tired i'm always fucking tired right now just in general yeah because um and i wonder if that's it because there's a factor because for sure i got on the vegan diet right and i remember a while a while into it i started feeling fucking tired and i was like man it's got to be my fucking vegan diet i'm pissed you know and then and then there was a point where I said, fuck the vegan diet. I'm going to eat fish again and eggs, but I was still tired and I was still fucking tired.

Do you ever get your blood work done? Um, I should, I do. I mean, I get, I get like full panel, everything you do. Well,

I mean, as far as like for like STDs and shit, I'm like, that's not good enough. No, you should go to a doctor that can check out your nutritional profile. I do need to do that. Yeah, they might say you're deficient on iron.

It could be like a niacin thing or a B12 thing. I do have that. They'll tell me that my testosterone is kind of low, my vitamin D. A lot of that also comes from brain damage. Oh, yeah? Testosterone being low is a big issue with football players, ex-fighters. Your pituitary gland is very sensitive, and that's one of the things that happens to people literally just from jet skiing,

like I was saying. Skiing in general, like jumping, ski jumps and stuff like that, even without even getting hit in the head, just anything that causes your head to shake around a lot. Wow. Like I'm sure headbanging. Oh, God. With the guys from ACDC.

I went to the fucking chiropractor. I've been to chiroDC. It's that one's a fucking chiropractor I've been to chiropractors, and you know I'll go to the chiropractor And they're familiar with jackass and the shit I've done and and you know they take my My x-ray to look at my at my spine, and they're like dude I don't understand it like you're like fucking Keith Richards You know like there's no there's no gear in much so much better shape than I expected You would be in except for in my neck where I've got the what do they call it the

Cat callous or not callous the I don't know some kind of fucking buildup And then Calcium deposits no, oh Jesus I think it's from headbanging? Yeah, yeah. Some kind of... So you have some disc degeneration, some sort of deterioration? Yeah. Anyway, whatever it is.

My neck is more fucked up than anything, and so then there's more of that. I'm super skeptical of chiropractors, by the way. Yeah, I'm not a big fan either. I've just heard too many regular doctors say that's just horseshit. Right. I went to... It got to a point where I was like, fuck, you know, and I was doing some job. I was getting ready to do some job.

And, you know, you go to this physician. I need to clear you before you can, you know, be on like a work, a TV or a movie job. Right. Go to this fucking physician to the stars who just did it. And she's shining a light down my throat. And she says, hmm, the opening at the back of your throat is very narrow. Do you ever find that you sleep a full night's sleep, but you wake up and you're still tired?

And I was like, Jesus Christ, that's exactly fucking me. I'll sleep for eight hours, nine hours, and I'll get up fucking tired. Sleep apnea. Yeah. So she said, I recommend you get a sleep study. Did you do it? I did. I got a sleep study.

They said I have a mild to moderate sleep apnea. Super common. You know, you get a mouthpiece to fix that. I know. I got to. But I already have a mouthpiece. You have a fake tooth? Yeah, the mouthpiece, fortunately for you, it fits on the bottom.

Oh, okay. It fits only on the bottom. And what it does is it's a tongue depressor, and it presses down your tongue, keeps your tongue from sliding back and covering your air hole. I have a buddy of mine that fixed everything. I have to do that. Fix everything for me, man. I'll hook you up. I know a guy that does it.

I have to do that immediately. Yeah, there's a doctor in Encino, Dr. Kropian, who's famous for it. Yeah, please. He makes a really good one. Yeah, please do. It's super common, like sleep apnea. Right. It's people with big tongues.

Your tongue, as you lay back, especially if you lay on your back, it falls back and covers over your air hole. Right. And that's what causes a lot of gagging and loud snoring. But it's a huge issue for people. And that CPAP machine, man, I mean, some people need to have it. I couldn't do it, man. I tried it. I tried it, too. I tried it's a huge issue for people and that's CPAP machine man means some people need to have it I mean I did I tried it I tried it for a while and I was able to fall asleep But then about an hour or two into it the fucking thing just blowing blowing me away and wait

Yeah, and there's and there's I just couldn't fucking do it's too weird. You're sleeping with a Darth Vader mask on Yeah, just it's too weird For really fat people though. It's huge.. For really fat people, though, it's huge. Yeah, the extent that you have to clean that fucking thing. Yeah. Man, speaking of fat people. Mouthpiece is easy. Where do we go from there, though?

We started out with some sort of a brain damage thing. We were talking about Al Madrigal, and then we got on sucking dudes' dicks, and then we got onto head trauma. But I felt like we had an important thing to say about head trauma. What did we start off with um it was just that it's kind of bad to you know i feel being tired yeah if you i mean i guarantee you that has something to do with why your uh testosterone is low also you know another thing that has to do with uh how many like healthy

fats how much uh healthy fat is in your diet because fats and even cholesterol are literally the precursors for hormones it's like how your body like one of the things that people find when they go on a heavy fat-based diet like a ketogenic diet is um their hormones jump up it's because your body that's how your body makes hormones your body uses fats and cholesterol actually to make hormones now when you say healthy fats, like avocados. Avocado, coconut oil. Avocado's interesting because it's a combination of saturated fat and unchaturated

fat. And most people assume that saturated fat is bad for you. But it's not. A lot of that came out of the sugar industry that your fucking dad was probably a part of. The sugar industry paid off. And this was from the New York Times and a bunch of really reputable newspapers reported on this really recently. The sugar industry paid off scientists to lie about the effects of saturated fats to cover up the effects of sugar.

It's really sad because so many people to this day run around worrying about saturated fat and not worrying about sugar because they're worried about saturated fat in their diet and that's what made people switch over to shit like margarine which is terrible for you then you recommend margarine anymore that's how trans fats got introduced into people's hands are terrible dude they're trying to make them illegal and they've made them illegal in America but they still have like another year or so where you're allowed to sell it which is hilarious they give these companies an extra year or two to get rid of all the bullshit that they

made so that they can still fuck people over for 12 months and make money. They knew that that stuff was bad for you decades ago. And they've been like, la, la, la, la, not listening. Dude, I'm dying to tell you this story about my dad. Okay, so when I was 12, to toronto right living in canada dad was the president of nabisco canada and i was speaking of headbanging i was a fucking rabid motley crew fan right i fucking love motley crews this was 1987 shout out to the dog right now this is their girls girls girls tour right i mean got fucking Motley Crue all over my bedroom walls.

I'm fucking crazy about these fucking guys. Now, they come to Toronto for their Girls, Girls, Girls tour. They're doing Maple Leaf Gardens. And the day before the concert, well, I should say my dad knew what a big fan I was. And Nabisco, Canada had a Skybox in the arena. But my dad also knew that nobody nobody from nabisco gave a fuck about a motley crew concerts the skybox was going to be empty so my dad my dad said to me he said hey i know how much you love motley crew and so i'm going to bring you to the concert we can sit

in the nabisco skybox and i tell my dad dad watching motley crew through a plate glass window sucks right and he says and he says all right well you know basically fuck you you know he's like if you can do better and then we'll do better you know then we'll use your tickets if you can you know if i'm fucking i was 13 you know right so the day before the concert i see on the news they're like complaining like these fucking asshole rock stars come to our city and fucking fuck around like one way or another And I'm like dude. They're here the fucking what would you say? Asshole rock star yeah, they were they made the news for it some like

Bullish I forget what it was I think they started some kind of fire or something crazy But they were on the news you know and the like they were complaining these fucking guys come here, okay? And so I'm like they're in Toronto. They're in the city now and the fucking concerts tomorrow So I deduced that they're in a hotel and I'm gonna fucking find these guys I'm gonna fucking you're 13. I was 13 and so I go fucking running to my room, right? It's just like right away I'm thinking I know all the guys and I know their real names like Vince Neil is Vincent Wharton Right like I know all their names I'm

like I can't fucking check into the hotel as like Frank Carlton Ferrano right that's Nikki six they're not gonna use their real names and I was like they're gonna check into the hotel under the name of their manager right and I just guess you just knew it go right into my room and I fucking check on my little cassette fucking album sleeves and check everyone it says Doc McGee which is their manager right Doc McGee so I'm like that's the fucking one I go run into uh the the phone book and the you know I fucking open it up to hotel like the yellow pages and I just straight start calling every fucking hotel in the yellow pages and when the

hotel answers I'm like will you please put me through to Mr. Doc McGee's room right and the yellow pages. And when the hotel answers, I'm like, will you please put me through to Mr. Doc McGee's room? And the fucking show was like a Sunday, and so it's a Saturday. My dad's watching college football. I'm sitting there on the phone calling every fucking hotel in Toronto, just going down the list. Not even calling the ones with the ads, literally just sticking to the list so I don't miss one.

And my mom's pissed because there was no call waiting. She's like, you're tying up the house phone. All my dad ever wanted was for me to show initiative and to be motivated for something. And so my dad's super stoked. I'm on fire. I'm telling my mom, Mom, I'm calling Motley Crue. And my dad calls off my mom. Like, honey, let him do his thing.

And I fucking sat there for probably two or three hours just calling hotels. And they put me through to this room. There was one false alarm. But then the second McGee's room that I got through to, the guy picks up the phone. And I said, hello, is that Doc McGee? And he says, no, this is Doc's brother, Scott. And I'm like, as in Motley Crue? And he says, how did you get this number?

And I told him, I just called every fucking hotel on the Yellow Pages. You told him? I said, I just called every hotel on the Yellow Pages. Is the crew there? And he goes, hold on a second. Are you fucking kidding me? That's awesome. And he says, I'm so impressed by what you did.

And he says, how would you like if I put you on the list for backstage passes and I can, I can give you tickets in the fifth row. So he gave me two tickets in the fifth row, fucking backstage passes. My dad, I went fucking chauffeur. My dad's a chauffeur to the fucking Maple Leaf Gardens. We've gotten the fucking press line to the fucking fifth row. Fifth row. That's insane.

That's actually better than the first row. You're like a little back oh dude it was it was the dopest i was fucking headbanging like a mod to get myself hella brain damage that night dude and i was the last picture from the dude like uh how are you not showing me with fucking nicki six and tommy lee is that your picture no no no no but is there a picture? Just Google Steve-O and fucking Steve-O and Motley Crue, man. When you were 13? I was 13.

I was fucking 13. We went up to the Skybox and I put my ghetto blaster fuck yeah I put my ghetto blaster next to the little speaker deal

and there's me and Tommy Lee. That's hilarious. Yeah. And then How old is Tommy Lee? There's like a That's crazy. Me and Nikki nicky six right there you were like a baby i was a fucking baby dude that is so weird yeah and you know i'm standing next to these guys and i'm like i don't have fucking you know like shit to talk to

them about but the fact that i was standing next to those guys and i was like you know what i'm here backstage with my fucking heroes and it's because i fucking decided so you know like there's something about that that gave me this this this mentality and then you see the top left right there check it out fucking all these years later and fucking when they when they announced that they were back together and going on their carnival of sins tour tommy lee asked me to do something fucked up and introduce them dude how full circle wow yeah dude that's crazy dude it was the dopest man who's the dude on the far right that's mcmorris with the hat yeah he's got like uh a degenerative bone disease what's going on with him yeah like i forget what it's called but uh yeah he's like they gotta like have him come out when the lights aren't on.

Oh, no. Like, you know, or I don't know, maybe he's doing better. He limps? Yeah, he's in rough shape. Oh, poor guy. But yeah, dude, I love that story, man. And my dad, you know, is kind of how my dad is. That's awesome, man.

Yeah, dude. That's a great story. Well, thank you, man. It really made me into a monster in some regard because like i think that at that young age it's like you know i i really can fucking you know if you just and i've always said like doesn't matter what people want it just matters how bad they really fucking want it i mean of course like it definitely matters what they want you want to play basketball against, of course, within some kind of James, but I want it.

Right. Of course. Within, within some fucking parameters of reality. Right. Right. But, but it's a factor. What do they say? They say that, uh, that, uh, luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

Yes. Which is dope. I love that. I love that fucking. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of variables and you can control some of them right yeah And you definitely know some of them and I like like with like with fucking stand-up and and I really wanted like I

Brought up a la magic. I'm only gonna say this like quickly I want to be careful not to lynch the guy because you know I'd like a deck I don't want everyone's at all folk that guy that guy. From everything I understand, he's hilarious. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's hilarious. And you should absolutely check out his comedy special on Showtime, which is called Shrimp and Ain't Easy. To decide for yourself, is this guy fucking funny?

Yes, he's very funny. He's very funny. He's very funny. Now, I never met the guy. I didn't know shit about him. And this was 2012 or 2013? I had been the headline in comedy clubs since 2010. You know, I got into it and I was just.

So you've been doing stand-up for seven years now. Yeah, well, technically it's been almost 11 years since the first time I ever tried it, which was at the Laugh factory when Skylar Stone in 2006 asked me to do a stunt at the at the laugh factory because he was hosting a show and he wants to you know so I'm like yeah I'll do a fucking stunt like whatever and I showed up I had no game plan when I walked in just as I said I said I can't there's nothing fucking crazier than me getting on stage right trying to make people laugh that's's the stunt. I was terrified.

And so I tried it that night. But I never got, like, really hardcore, like, in earnest until 2000. Sorry, 2010. Now 2012, 2013, I'm at a point where I'm super comfortable in my 45 minutes, right? Like, whatever my hour is at that point. Like, I'm just really comfortable in it. And I'm starting to feel stale because I'm fucking going through the motions and the shit.

You know what that's like, right? You get to a point where you're just fucking dying because I'm not... Not doing anything new. Not doing anything new. And the worst is if you go back to a fucking place and do the same material. I don't ever want to fucking do that.

So I'm like, okay, my comfort zone, and I got to get out of it. But I just wasn't doing it. I finally put my foot down. I said, fuck it, okay? This is what I'm doing. I'm promising myself I'm going to go do 10 minutes. I'm going to do a 10- minute set here in la and and even if i have to put on my fucking calendar for one week later and even if i have to bomb i'm not backing out period i'm going i'm doing 10 10 new minutes and i wrote

fucking 10 i wrote a fucking set and i went over to the laugh factory and i did it and i was thrilled i got some laughs you know then i go over to the fucking um the improv and i'm like hey you know and i made the mistake it was a mistake where i say hey i'm working on some new material you never say that when you're working on new material to the audience yeah yeah right but but i mentioned i'd say hey or maybe i did it and then i said hey guys thanks you know that like i was trying some new material and then thanks for you know and i diligently recorded the fucking set to play it back and hear where the laughs were. I wrote my own shit. I went there and I fucking did new shit.

I worked it out and I recorded it. That's how you do it. When I get off the stage, and I'm thrilled because the fucking people laughed. I sit in the crowd. The host brings up the next comic. The next comic the next comic is al magical he walks out and he goes oh my god what did we just see we just saw steve-o working on new material i just i i and he's just like i i just i just can't take it anymore. Like, I just can't believe that, you know,

that this thing that I consider my calling in life, stand-up comedy, that I care about it so much, and now we have Steve-O and Dustin Diamond out here doing this thing. It's like, I can't believe that these people are taking something that's so sacred to me and just using it as their last resort. And I'm sitting right there watching him say this shit. I'm like, what the fuck?

You know? Like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? It was just such a blatant attack from the stage. And I'm like, it's not fucking right because a motherfuckers were laughing you know i played it back like i got in the car right after that you know well i sat there and i couldn't even believe it and then there's there was a lady that was talking at her table and he just went in on her like beyond beyond what was what like what was i capable be quiet you know started with starting in with like the personal,

like whatever. And I don't even, I don't even care. But what I perceived was that here's a guy who's claiming that his whole passion is standup comedy, but his whole attack on me and then berating the woman, like there weren't any jokes, you know?

Like it was almost like he just forewent the act of performing comedy to just sort of kind of be mean to me. Cause he was upset that you were doing standup. He's upset that i was doing stand-up and and and and and whatever but then then after his set and he went and started telling jokes after that but after his set he uh comes over to the sound booth and i'm sitting right next to the sound booth sitting right next to it and he comes over and says something to the sound guy and kind of awkwardly notices i'm sitting right there and then he comes over and leans over the table and he says, just so you know, what you're doing isn't taken lightly. Like face to face, I felt like he totally insulted me.

Just so you know, what you're doing isn't taken lightly. I don't even know what it meant, but it was clear that the sentiment was like, and I meant everything I said. I felt like he came and insulted me to my face on top of that and i was just i was pretty bent out of shape about it but i didn't like say anything or you know and i certainly wouldn't have come here to talk about that like uh at all except what was it i was on here a couple weeks ago and like i see i see in my my Twitter feed, my name is tagged, and it says, listen to the podcast, douche. And I'm like, huh?

And I'm like, okay, so Al was on the Joe Rogan podcast, and I guess he's telling me to listen to it. And then there was more, like Brendan Schaub replied, and they're all playing nice. And I just fucked, so I started listening

to the Al Madrigal thing and he's and like right out of the gate he's saying like oh man I have this habit where I like kind of create problems I just

I talk shit on people and I create beefs and it's really counterproductive and I should work on it and I you know like it's not a good thing and he basically went on to apologize

to everybody under the sun, you know, like, and then my name comes up and, and he, he makes the distinction that, Oh, well,

I actually don't feel bad about fucking talking shit on Steve. I don't feel, he says, I actually don't feel bad about this at all. And then he goes on to repeat like all the shit that he said from the stage. And like, I got so bad. I'd have fucking shaved that night.

You know, you saw it. We talked. Yeah. And, and whatever, like he's just got, that he said from the stage and like i got so bad i'd have fucking shaved that night you know you saw i texted you we talked yeah and and whatever like he's just you made the great point he said hey you know he just he does that shit sometimes he says dumb shit and and uh and i actually had a conversation with him about it and it was a hilarious conversation because he was like he calls me up and i answer the phone he's like how are you doing i'm like well not that fucking good you know i was so fucking pissed. I didn't even really fucking sleep last night. You know?

Were you that pissed? I was. It really kept you up? It kept me up, dude. That's crazy. How do you let other people affect you that much? That's a great question. Do you meditate at all?

I haven't. I got into the TM and I've been doing it very fucking little. I got to do it way more. Yeah, you do. You can't let someone rent space in your head like that. I know. Thank you. Because what he said was very mild.

It was. It was. And we said on the podcast, he was also kind of conciliatory. It was like, eh. No? Conciliatory to everybody but me. That's, I think, what bothered me so much. He goes, I feel bad.

I do this. He goes, but then when it comes to Steve-O, I actually don't feel bad about this one. bothered me so much. He goes, I feel bad I do this. But then when it comes to Steve-O, I actually don't feel bad about this one. That's so stupid. What you do is funny. I've seen you. I've seen you do stand-up. You're funny.

Well, thank you, man. I appreciate it. You're a comic, in my mind. Hey, I appreciate that so much. And I think that what particularly fucking got me hot about that was that the time that he chose to attack me was when I was really working the craft of fucking comedy. Writing my own material, going out there, getting outside of my comfort zone, doing fucking new shit, diligently recording it.

Doing actual stand-up. Yeah, that's the craft. That's the fucking craft. And it was just a fucking shitty time to do that. Well, he really does care about stand-up comedy. But I think because of that caring, sometimes it blinds you. And I'm very sensitive to it because I experienced it a lot when I was first starting out where people didn't think that I fit into the mold of what they thought a stand-up would should be. Sure.

And I'm glad that you make that point because, yeah, it was fucking mild. The fact that I got bent out of shape the way I did is bullshit. Yeah. And the fact that, you know, and even now I'm starting. You're such a public figure, too, and your career has been so controversial. That's why I don't understand why you're so sensitive to criticism because you've, everything you've done has been chaos. You know, you've done so much chaos. I mean, I just would imagine that so many people have shit on you.

I guess. I don't know. I just think that, like, I just would imagine that so many people have shit on you. I guess. I don't know. I just think that I fucking care about comedy. I would imagine him saying that to you in person just so you know what you're doing is not taken lightly. I would probably smack him. I really would have a really hard time with that. Like what? Doing stand-up?

That's not taken lightly? What, do you own stand-up? Do you own stand-up? Are you out Yeah your fucking mind Do you don't like this is what I said to you the other day don't you like stand-up if I like stand-up I want my fucking mailman to try it he might be funny dude one of the funniest guys I ever fucking met was a private detective that I worked for he lost his license at a DUI And I want to be in his driver, and I he needed a driver

He needed an assistant in quotes but really what he needed is a guy to drive him around because he lost his license for six months or something like that so I worked for him for like six months I drove him he was the funniest fucking guy I ever met in my life and while I was doing stand-up I think I was 21 at the time and I think he was probably 35 36 I was like this guy just did stand-up. He would fucking put me out of business. That's all I could think of. It was like, if this guy went into stand-up,

you know, meanwhile, he was a man. He had experienced life. I was a boy, right? But everybody that you like that wants to do stand-up, you should encourage them to do it. Like my friend Brendan Schaub, he does stand-up. Fuck yeah. And he faces the same shit.

People are like, this fucking guy, he's doing stand-up. Bullshit. I heard about a very similar. Eric Griffin. Very similar. Eric Griffin shit on him. But Eric was just being funny. And I said to him, I go, of course they're going to shit on you.

You're a big, handsome gorilla, and you're on stage. He is fucking shockingly good looking. He's a good looking fella. Handsome fella. And what a great dude. He's a great guy. And he's funny. He's fucking funny. And I told him he should do stand great guy. And he's funny. He's fucking funny.

And I told him he should do stand-up. And he's smart. He's very smart. And quick. And he works hard. Yeah. He's been doing stand-up a year. And he's killing.

Sure. He does really well. I mean, I saw him the other night at the comedy store, sandwiched in between me and Dane Cook. Swimming with sharks. Yes. Swimming with sharks. He was doing a real show. Like, at a real show.

And he had a real good set. Dane Cook helped me a lot, man. I know he's a polarizing figure. But when I first, I said when I got into stand-up in earnest, because back in 2006, I was like, man, I really like this. I tried it. I got on stage for a few minutes that first night, and the sense I got was that people were excited

to see me they were rooting for me they wanted me to do well for some reason like like i'm i can be endearing to people and they're rooting for me and and i got a few laughs you know i made a couple of fucking gay jokes whatever like you know and uh and and before i left the laugh factor that night i scheduled my return and and and before came back, I wrote a set. And I came back, and it went reasonably well, and I was thrilled. Then I got overconfident. I was like, oh, I'm just good at stand-up. So I fucking come back again and don't even try to work on the fucking act I had written.

I'm like, no, I'm going to do fucking, I'm just going to go up and wing it. And I bombed, and it hurt. And then I bombed again. And then I was scared to get back to it and i was out of control with drugs so like i was really just it wasn't the time now once i got sober and rehab then like going to bars going to nightclubs that's just that's not on the table anymore you know like yeah you gotta ask yourself do you have a reason to go there and i didn't have any fucking reason but i had every reason to go to a comedy club so that became like my go-to thing at night you know like if i'm going with going out with a girl

right now you know it's like a thing i got a reason to be there and i go to the comedy club and so i'm sitting in the comedy club in in my early sobriety and we're looking at the stage thinking i should be on that stage i should be on that stage but i was like scared you know and then as the the press machine was that wasn't even real. Like this is the first thing I even did ostensibly to promote Jackass 3D was this young Hollywood interview. And they said, oh, Dane Cook's in there. Just go barge into his interview. It'll be great. So I walk into Dane Cook's interview and I meet him and I'm like, hey dude, like, you know, I've dabbled in standup and I want to get serious about it. I want to really dive in. And fucking to his credit, man, he said, cool.

He said, let's do it. I'll give you my number. We'll get you on stage at the improv in a week. And he gave me his number, and I fucking wrote, and I wrote. I wrote that whole fucking week. And I went and I fucking practiced to that shitty little open mic Marty's. It's hilarious. You wouldn't even know

about it where's marty's it's uh it's on sunset boulevard uh right by rock and roll ralphs it's it's a hilarious little fucking hole in the wall stand open you know open mic and i went to you know churn up i met dane cook at the improv he like a dude it was like two comics after sarah silverman and you know then i go on then daneane goes on and right after Dane's set he sat down with me and fucking gave me notes the first thing he said was I'm not sending you back to the drawing board which was like his way of saying that the material I did like wasn't like don't rewrite like it's good he's just worried about your delivery and your timing and from there I went to the fucking two nights later, I'm at the Laugh Factory, Dane's there. It was just like,

he took me under his wing, you know, like just like with regularity. He'd go, I'd go and he'd go or the other way around and he'd sit me down and give me notes.

And that put so much fucking wind in my sails. That's awesome. I'm really grateful to Dane Cook for that. Aw, play the music. Are hermaphrodites real?

Yeah, I got the info on that. Oh yeah, what's up with hermaphrodites?? Yeah, I got the info on that. Oh, yeah, what's up with hermaphrodites? They're real. They changed the name to intersex a couple years ago. So, like, the medical terminology was changed. So, is there such a thing as having a dick and a pussy? Yeah, so there's a...

Here's all the stats on which is born with which, and there's different classifications. One in 1,666 births. So, I don't know which is actually the androgen insensitivity syndrome both hmm so they don't necessarily use the term hermaphrodites right yeah it's so used like in biology oh I see so when it comes to oak so there's like a list of it looks like there's like 30 of them how many other one two three four six oh no no it is when referring to humans I There's like a list of, it looks like there's like 30 of them. How many are there? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

It is when referring to humans, I think they stopped using that word. Because it made people feel bad? Probably. Jesus Christ. So complete gonadal digenesis. Ooh. One in 150,000. That can't be good.

Alpha reductase deficiency. Five alpha reductase deficiency. Vaginal agenesis. Imagine vaginal agenesis. It sounds like you have an old pussy. You're born, I'm sorry, your baby was born with an old pussy. You look down, it's like an old floppy grandma pussy.

I don't even want to know what that is. Put that away. But only your vagina. Could be worse things. Your face is cute. So there are hermaphrodites. There are people that are born with a vagina. Google, is there people that are born with both a vagina and a penis?

Are people born with both a vagina and a penis? Because there was too many medical terms there. I don't know which one of those would apply. Right. It's kind of like with little people. I hate that fucking term. Well, the thing about Dr. Drew is he's an addiction specialist, right? So how much does he even know about this stuff?

I mean, how much did he really learn about this stuff? And he's also an addiction specialist who erroneously says that marijuana is hugely addictive which is just ridiculous well i dude i i used to fucking used to do it a lot i'm sure well but yeah here's the thing dude like i uh at one point um i was i was sort of house sitting for this this chick and you know i humped a a strange chick in her bed and tied the rubber in a knot which i would do you know and tie rubber and not threw it on the floor her fucking dog ate the rubber right and like and um and it was her boyfriend's dog and i'm thinking oh no the fucking dog maybe took the rubber off the rubber right like it took the dog took the fucking rubber

for like a victory lap And it's kind of job, and it's gonna look terrible for this girl So I'm like following the dog around ultimately the dog shit it out, and it was hilarious But I felt bad cuz like you know I basically it's kind of like sodomizing the dog Okay, and so then I felt like to make it up to the dog You can get the dog high when I owe it, I owe it to the dog to do it myself. And like, because this is a funny bit. To swallow a condom full of load in it?

Well, that would have been really funny. What does this have to do with pot? That would have been really funny. But I got it in my head. I'm going to swallow a condom. But then I was like, okay, cool. When I'm on tour in Europe, I'll fucking put weed in the condom, tie it in a knot. And it'll be like a skit where i

film it's an international drug smuggler skit i'll do it in one country and i'll fly to the other country and shit it out right and uh and i did it was this fucking saga i actually have a fucking epic like uh there's a huge like tentpole bit in my stand-up right now about that whole i got arrested for international drug smuggling in sweden um did you i did it was fucking epic it's so classic dude because of swallowing a condom full of pot greatest fucking story ever dude it's so fucking awesome yeah i like it yeah it was it i spent how'd you get caught because i had fucking told the the press like i was like you know at first i did it was so i did it so big

that when I tried to fucking swallow it, it got stuck in my throat. I'm freaking the fuck out. Then I fly from Norway to Sweden and Knoxville told me I was going to... How big was the nug? I didn't even break the buds off the stem.

So you just swallowed a branch? A branch of a fucking tree? And it had a fucking rock of hash in there, too. Oh, Jesus. In the same condom? Yeah. So you swallowed a dick. Yeah.

You basically swallowed a pot dick. That's one of the jokes. Like a deep throat in The Incredible Hulk. Oh, no. Show me in your fingers how big this thing was you swallowed. It was, I don't know. It's on video, and that's for my next comedy special. It's on video?

Yeah, I filmed everything. I was filming it for my DVD at the time. Is it online? I'm sure it probably is. But what I'm so excited about my next comedy special is that so many of the stories I tell in my stand-up are things that happened on camera originally. Right. So I'm editing into the fucking actual stand-up, kind of like you do with the podcast, like supporting archival footage. Right.

Which just demonstrates that everything is not only not truthful. It's not only truthful, it's not only truthful, it's not even embellished. Right. It's like 100%. And so, like, I'm just so excited to do that. Yeah, that's it, dude. Oh, my God.

Wait a minute. It's hard to tell because of the perspective. Where's your fingers? It's a bad video, too. It's fucking huge. Well, play it so they can see it. That's where I'm swallowing it. It's just a click and clip. Oh, no, you can see it right there. Yeah see that's where I'm swallowing

No, you see right massive. Oh my god. I swallowed that yeah, I got stuck in my People that are like it's like basically like an eight-year-old it's it's totally stuck in my throat. Oh my god Fuck it's hard to swallow And I'm And you're throwing up I'm throwing up blood I'm trying to I was trying to swallow it To get it to go down Oh you're throwing up blood

Yeah Oh this is so crazy So you scrape the inside Of your body up I was trying to swallow it It wouldn't go down I'm trying to barf It wouldn't come up

Oh no And so I fly to fucking Sweden Because like My buddies are like We gotta take you to the hospital Did you shit that out ever? it took six and a half days I called up Knoxville

and Knoxville's like dude you're gonna die of intestinal strangulation cause it's fucking gonna block up my intestines oh my god dude and whatever so it took days to come out and when it came out man you must have been so happy my asshole exploded dude I don't want to tell all my jokes on this fucking podcast cause that's fucking lame.

It's a big important part of the... Dude, it's fucking the best bit. I love it. I'm proud of what I'm doing on stage. So are you saying that pot is addictive? That was how I got in. That was how I first did it. Then I realized, okay, because I'm filming Wild Boys,

every time we would like i wouldn't freak the fuck out whenever we went to the far east because you know you're not going to be able to find weed and that's not okay so i at any time i went to anywhere where i wasn't confident i would be able to get weed i sat there with my before i go to the airport i sat there with my fucking weed grinder and just grind it up like a ton and, and I fucking compacted it. So, you know, it's, I broke the buds off the stems, you know? And then I would, I would fill up and put about like an eighth in each condom, whatever

night, nice and small, pack it up. And I would swallow like six of them, you know? Really? Oh yeah. I would fuck. So when you swallowed those, how long did it take to shit those up? Those ones would come out quick. Those ones would come out and I don't know, like? Oh, yeah. I would fucking... So when you swallowed those, how long did it take to shit those up? Those ones would come out quick. Like how quick?

Those ones would come out in, I don't know, like one to two days. Like something like that. How many times did you swallow condoms? Dude, when I went to Thailand, like even when I went to Russia, like it was my fucking thing. I was like... That was your thing? Shitting out your pot that you would smoke. Yeah. Like, yeah. And there's so many... When you lit it, did it ever smell like a condom? That was your thing? Shitting out your pot that you would smoke? Yeah.

When you lit it, did it ever smell like a condom? It never smelled like a condom, no. Wow. There's a lot of funny in that. I'm sure there is. But that's a psychological issue. Physical addiction is what we're talking about. People get physically addicted to alcohol.

Alcohol is one of the most dangerous physical addictions because when you get off of it, you die from it. That's how Amy Winehouse died. A lot of people think she died from drugs. She actually died because she went cold turkey off of alcohol. I believe that. It kills people. You know how I know that I'm a fucking true drug addict?

I watched that documentary, Amy, and as I walked out of the fucking theater i was like fuck man i want to get high that's so crazy that was the least glamorous portrayal of drug addiction ever and it just looked great to me i was like oh my god fuck that well there's no there's no mistaking the fact that somehow or another, what she was doing with her life, whether or not you could say it was the drugs or the state of mind that she was in when she was taking the drugs, she produced some fucking amazing music, man. Right.

She just tapped into it, whatever it is. She wasn't the hottest chick. You know that someone's talented when they're not that hot of a chick and they're a fucking huge star for singing. Oh, yeah. She was super talented. I mean, there's a lot of not hot chicks like Adele. Who else? I mean, I'm sure you could find some other ones.

I've never really sat down and thought about it. Exactly. It's kind of a rule. You're supposed to be really hot and be able to sing. Yeah, I guess so. I think It's kind of a rule. You're supposed to be really hot and be able to sing. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I'm trying to think. I think Amy Winehouse

and Adele. That's unfortunate, isn't it? It's bullshit, yeah. For a girl, right? That's got to suck. Right. Oh, you know who else?

You're really talented. It's what dicks we are. But Sia. Who's that? Sia's not super hot and she's... I don't know who that is. She is a hugely popular singer.

I'm so out of the loop. I'm that old man who doesn't know what the fuck's going on with the young kids today. These fucking kids today. I get it, dude. He had to tell me that Lil Bow Wow fakes the fact that he was on a jet, a private jet. I was like, who has Lil Bow Wow? I heard about that. It's a challenge now.

He said it was his jet and that's what he got busted? He said he was flying on a private jet, and someone was actually on a commercial flight with him and took a picture of him because they saw it on Instagram. This motherfucker's full of shit. He's right in front of me. That's so fucking classic. That's hilarious. That's exactly like that dude Bear Grylls.

Yes, very similar. That's the same fucking thing. Well, it's actually worse. He's like Bear Grylls It's like he set up his tent like Ferris Bueller with the mannequin Well, the Bow Wow thing is indicative of an entire culture Sure It's just all about like showing off your flashy shit

Of course And like showing that, you know, we ballin' here, we ballin' Right, and I was watching a fucking documentary A Vice documentary on youtube about uh bay area hip-hop and the whole thing is they're like they're talking about how it's such a fucking travesty that all the tech money came in and the area got gentrified and the whole thing is they're like our land got gentrified and the and the rap artists talk about that but they're like and i got millions.

It doesn't jive. You can't be complaining about gentrification and talking about- Your millions or your ball. Yeah. Right. Well, not all hip hop does that. There's some socially conscious hip hop. In the documentary, they were doing it. Oh, they were doing it?

That's so stupid. They're complaining. They're complaining that these people that make the fucking very electronics they need to make their music right right came in and

I had a terrible time in San Francisco San Francisco's a trip I got my car broken into I parked it outside of a fucking vegetarian restaurant granted in the tenderloin

tenderloin's terrible I know it's a terrible area but it was fucking noon it was noon and I parked it right outside the restaurant and they fucking smashed my window. And then for the rest of the weekend, I was at Cobb's Comedy Club.

The rest of the weekend, every single person I said, yeah, I got my fucking window smashed and my shit stolen out of my car. Every person I mentioned that to said, yeah, that happened to me too. Yeah, there's a lot of... And that's starting to happen in LA too, man. Well, it's always happened in LA. Well, like West Hollywood, the smash and grab is becoming... But dude, in San Francisco, it's man. Well, it's always happened in LA. Well, like West Hollywood, the smash and grab isn't becoming more. But, dude, in San Francisco, it's the worst.

But it's always happened. There's always been broke people that break into people's cars, especially if you leave anything really obvious in the front seat. It's visible. It's worth something. Dude, I was the biggest scorer. Whoever broke into my car. Dude, I had my super pack.

I was getting ready to go fucking film. My super pack is like, plus I had all the merch money from selling fucking merch You left it on your car? I was going to film And I didn't even fucking think about it Wait a minute you didn't think that you were going to park In one of the shittiest neighborhoods In all of California

With a really valuable Yes Joe But you're saying it like it's Wow it's so weird. Okay, Joe. I'm dumb. I hit my head a lot, Joe.

People don't know how bad the tenderloin is. I didn't know how bad it was. I know a guy got murdered there. And for me, I'm like, dude, what could happen outside of a spiritual fucking vegetarian restaurant? Oh, Jesus. A lot. That's a lot of hippies getting jacked.

Plus, we sat by the window so as to see the car in our line of vision. And it still got broken into. How is that possible? I don't know, dude. It's spaced out. Yeah, San Francisco is a weird place now because the money that you have to spend to buy a house there is so crazy that it doesn't even make sense anymore. Right.

There was a house that was for sale for over a million dollars and it was a fucking tiny shitty shack that had to be torn down. I mean, there was literally nothing there. And people are like, this is the most piece of ridiculous real estate in all of North America. Right. It's all of North America. Right. It's all that tech money. I lived there when I was a kid.

I lived there from age 7 to 11. I used to do a magic show on Fisherman's Wharf when I was 8 years old. I think you were telling me that you were talking with Al about it. About what? Yeah, we worked at Cobb's together. Yeah, but I used to live there when I was a little kid. And it was just, you know, this was during the Vietnam War. It was like hippie time.

It was weird. It was just, you know, this was during the Vietnam War. It was like hippie time. It was weird. It was just all hippies and gay people. And it was, you know, that was what San Francisco was forever until this tech boom. And now it's just fucking insane money. If you ever go on like, I go on like that app Trulia.

It's like a real estate app. And I go, what kind of houses they have in Seattle? Like, let's look at houses just for a goof. You look at San Francisco and you're like, what kind of houses do they have in Seattle? Like, let's look at houses, just for a goof. Sure. You look at San Francisco, and you're like, what does 14 million buy you in San Francisco? Holy shit, are you getting fucked. Right. Like, a regular house is like 14 million bucks.

West Vancouver is pretty fucked up, too. Is there a lot of tech money up there, too? I don't know. I don't know what it is, but it's fucked up. It's tech money for whatever reason. I guess it's just because, you know, everybody uses tech uses tech and just just tons of money in it, right? But those guys just seem to figure out a way to make more money than anybody There's so much money in San Francisco though. It's crazy right I know

So you had a bad time in San Francisco because you parked your car in the tenderloin with a lot of money Laptop iPad time in San Francisco because you parked your car in the Tenderloin with a lot of money and a lot of electronics. Yeah, a lot of electronics. Laptop, iPad, fucking 70D, every lens, three grand in cash. Are you doing, so you're doing like these shows, are you filming them? Is that why you're bringing all this electronics? Sometimes, yeah. And sometimes I'm just filming for whatever YouTube, you know. Now your Showtime special that was what a year and a half ago or so Yeah it was the end of 2015

And then it aired in March of 2016 Yeah cause I remember you getting in touch with me Saying you need someone to choke you out in Texas I'm like I know the guy Yeah I fucking love Tim Kennedy And I'm so thrilled with how my fucking special Came out on Showtime Oh that's awesome

I'm really fucking thrilled with it Can people get it somewhere other than Showtime? Is it available on Netflix or any of those things? I had Showtime, Showtime On Demand And then Vimeo Oh it was on Vimeo? Yeah I think that

I guess it was tied up for two years Before it can go on Netflix Oh so is it available now? Not yet. Not yet. So soon? Yeah. That's cool.

I'm fucking stoked on how that came out. Are you going to do another one? Yeah, dude. Like I said, man, I'm working on doing a comedy special where I edit in archival footage, which sort of makes it a docu-comedy special, which I love. Are people born that have a penis and a vagina? Have we figured that out? That's what I was looking up. Yes and no,

I would say, after what I was reading. Most of the hermaphrodite comes from having ovaries and testicles that are maybe both at the same time. There's pseudo-hermaphrodites or also true hermaphrodites. So a true hermaphrodite is someone who has both genitals?

Yeah, this is the best explanation I've found. True hemaphrodites and internal sex organs contain both ovarian and testicular tissue. In some cases, that means that a ball on one side and an ovary on the other. In others, it means hybrid beasties known as ovitestes. Oh my god, ovitestes. To the naked eye,

their external genitals tend to be iffy. Maybe it's a big clit. Perhaps it's a teeny-weeny. Is it an urban dictionary? No, it's a scientific document. Perchance it's some unholy, peno-vaginal, mismatched, pseudo-hermaphrodites have the chromosomal and internal sex organs of one gender, while the external protuberances are, again, anyone's guess. Hmm.

Photo. Click that. Mm-hmm. Nothing? Oh. Whoa. Oh. That's a hardcore clit.

That makes sense. That is a hermaphrodite, right? That's got to be. This page also has something called a, there's a double vagina. Dude, the clit is an anteater. What did you say? A double vagina? A double penis, and then there's this thing down at the bottom I found, which is this. Never heard of this.

Persistent cloaca. One in 20,000 female births. Vagina and urethra coverage converge into one nauseating funnel-like drainage hole located somewhere in the taint area between the clitoris and the buttocks. Poop, pee, and vaginal sludge mingle freely.

Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky. Don't click on that photo. What about the double vagina photo? Click on that bitch. See what the fuck's going on up in that. Oh, Jesus. There's one next to the other one. Whoa.

Why does it look like that it looks like a chicken yeah well that's uh like an autopsy yeah that's not good that's when it didn't work out um let's go with the double penis i'm gonna see a double penis picture is that real and this isn't one of those dude that slices it i don't think so that's a crit-penis thing is a bummer, man. Dip, dipholia, dipholia. Click. Two penises. Oh, it's true, guys. Double dick. No, that's a slice.

It looks like it's slit. This website's bullshit. 1955 image. That's a 1955 image? That's what it says. Oh, okay, so it's not a split. He's just got a broken double dick thing going on. He's peeing out of his clit hole. It's like the lizard dude that cut his tongue. Mm-hmm. A lot of people do that. It's just, he's just got a broken double dick thing going on. He's peeing out of his clit hole.

It's like the lizard dude that cut his tongue. Mm-hmm. Yeah, a lot of people do that. That's real common. Yeah. They're cutting the tongue, cutting the dick. They split their dick down the middle, and then their pee comes out in just a big old splatter. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you know, people just, they just do. That's right, man. It's a weird world we live in, Steve-O. Fuck yeah. There's another thing about my comedy special. Who knows what I'll do? That guy's got two double dicks.

Big fatties. He really does. Maybe you could donate one to a friend with a little dick. They do that now. They're doing dick replacement surgeries. If someone had an accident or something happen to their dick, they give them a penile replacement where someone will die Dick replacement surgeries. Well, like if someone had an accident or something happened to their dick, they give them a penile replacement where someone will die,

and they'll take his dick and sew it onto you, and it works. You can get an erection and everything. You can feel it. Didn't they do it for a soldier that got in an explosion? I thought I remember reading that. I do not remember. I remember the first guy that got it done, though, I believe was a 50-year-old man, and something happened to him. He was dickless for like a year tough year yeah well he kind of sewed back up remember he could he did porn when it was done i think it was just the head of his

dick she cut in half she basically just slopped the top off the window. Yeah, what a terrible woman. Yeah. Yeah. Oof. Yeah. Oof. I'll never forget, and I didn't even know this was real until somebody explained to me on the show that this actually happened, but Ozzy Osbourne's wife was on some talk show that she was doing for a while, and she was joking around about some woman who cut her husband's dick off and threw it in a garbage disposal. And they were laughing about it.

I'm just laughing, thinking about his willy spinning around inside that garbage disposal. And I went, wow, what double standards, what crazy double standards. Because could you imagine a group of men sitting around laughing about a guy cutting off a chick's pussy and throwing it in a garbage disposal? I can't imagine a scenario where you would not only laugh about that but laugh about it on television and think it's okay but somehow or another it was okay for her to laugh about a guy losing his dick and having it chopped off and thrown into a fucking garbage disposal it's a weird creepy double standard right but at the same time like if you think like i'm kind of close to this

because sometimes people want to make like a female version of jackass where girls do like terrible shit and and hurt themselves on purpose and that just that's never going to work and it boils down to a hormonal thing because like men and with testosterone, the idea is that, you know, we're providers and we're supposed to be like macho and prove that we're tough. And so it,

it, it becomes funny to see a guy fail and, and get hurt. Like that's funny because right. But not be victimized. But with, but with women, they're with women,

they're, they're maternal, they're nurturers. They're so it's not cool to see them get hurt. You know, you blur the line a little bit. They tied the guy down and cut his dick off and threw it in the garbage disposal. This is not like a blurry line here. All right.

Okay, Joe. This is a woman who's in jail for the rest of her life because she chopped this dude's cock off. All right. Hey, man. I'm just saying it's weird that they thought it was okay to laugh about it's not I mean It's horrific that people do horrific things to each other It's no more horrific that a woman does it to a man that a man does it to a woman and people have done horrible Shit to women for forever, but it's never funny

Funny what like did they make it funny because a lot of people can make a lot of things funny shame funny Yeah, Ozzy Osbourne's wife not very funny no it was just gross it was just mean but it was weird that all these women thought it was funny like oh he lost his dick ha ha ha like whoa like it didn't seem real but I guess it's also because like you know like what you're saying it's like there's something funny about a man getting fucked up I mean like a lot of people feel like that about watching women fighting there's people that i know that are super uncomfortable like watching

a ywani and jay chick fight because she beats the fuck out of chicks and bashes her face in and cuts them up right like do you watch uh i've become a major fan of ufc i really fucking love that shit i think it's it's incredible how not only did women be you know I mean Dana White said forever there will never be women and then now not only are there women but they're like the headliners yeah they're the headliners often this past weekend it was a co-main

event Joanna Jacek and it was a real good fight because the woman she was fighting was just tough as fuck and she took a serious beating but there's a fight that she did Joanna Jacek against see if you pull up the highlights on jay check versus uh jessica penne try spelling her name good luck i don't even know how to spell it it's so hard to spell her name that people just call her you want a champion they don't even try with her last name because it's like a j and then a z and then a fucking E and then some letters that don't even exist in the English language.

But she beat this girl up so bad that it was fucking disturbing. Oh. I mean, she fucked this girl up. Yeah, I think it's... Yeah, there's a lot of blood in this one, right? Oh, it's horrible. Yeah, I still watch that one. Well, the girl just did not belong in the ring with her.

I mean, in the cage with her. And she's from Holland. Poland. Poland? Yeah. Multiple time world Muay Thai champion. She was, before she ever got into MMA, she was one of the best strikers on the planet. And if you go like deep into the fight, she just pecks her apart for the

first couple of rounds and then by the time you're deep in the round, she's just a mask of blood and Joanna is just time you're deep in the round she's just a mask of blood and Joanna is just beating the fuck out of her and smashing her in the face with elbows and cutting her up and then the final barrage when she when they stop the fight like you see blood pouring out of her nose it's coming out and the girl Jessica Panay all due credit to her that girl is tough as fuck like look at this She is a mask of blood and swelling. And Janjacek is just a fucking demon.

She's just kicking at her and smashing her in the face. And the blood on her face comes from the other girl. Oh, yeah. Well, she probably got hit a few times herself. I mean, it was a fight. I'm sure she got scratched and cut a little bit. I mean, there's just no... If she got hit at all, which I'm sure she did.

But look at that. These short elbows. Like, look at that girl's face. I bit. There's just no, if she got hit at all, which I'm sure she did, but look at that, these short elbows. Look at that girl's face. I mean, it's just, and you see also that she's just having a hard time taking it, and this is the final barrage. She steps forward and elbows are in the face and just beats the shit out of her. And I had some friends that were watching this that weren't MMA fans, and they were like, fuck this. I can't watch this.

Like, look at this. Bang. Bang. Look at that. Now, this final barrage. Oh, no way, dude. What? I just had a lot of thoughts all in the same time, like thinking, man,

what an honor to sit next to Joe Rogan as he essentially commentates a fight. Like a lot of people would want to do that. And then I was just thinking, oh, you know, like, I'm such a fan of yours, you know, and I don't want to kiss your ass. I'm a fan of yours, too. Thank you, man. I'm a fucking big fan. Well, we're friends.

We don't really have to talk like we're fans of each other. We're just buddies. Right. Thank you. Okay. Then I thought, fuck, dude, this one coming up is in Anaheim. Yeah. The one where Cormier and John Jones.

Yeah. And what an exciting fucking thing it is you wanna go? yeah oh dude you're the man you're hooked up that's it I love you sitting right next to me my dad's gonna be in town too

my dad's gonna be staying with me I'll give you two tickets one for your dad you and your dad I wanna meet your dad I wanna hear about the story when you were 13 you went to Motley Crue with him that wouldn't even be a priority for him, I don't think. That's awesome, man.

Great. That's cool. Ah, dude, I'm so excited. I wanted to ask, too, like, you know, for all the shit talking, people have to promote the fights, you know. But, like, Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones, no matter who wins at the end of the fight, they're going to shake each other's hand, right? I hope so. I hope so i hope so is it common like what we saw with ronda rousey not shaking me shit how do you fucking arm bar somebody they tap out and then they get up and go to shake your hand

and you won't do it like that well i think that mentality that ronda has is like a she's a like she's mercenary in there i mean and it wasn't over when it was over to her. For her, it wasn't a competition. It was life. It was life or death. I don't know, man. I mean, that same thing is probably why she's not fighting anymore.

You know, like her animosity and her emotions were so riding on that thing. And then when she lost, and then when she lost again in devastating fashion, that's also the reason why there was so much backlash. Whereas someone who's really loved, like Randy Couture, Randy Couture would lose a fight and no one talked. I mean, I'm sure someone talked trash about him, but no one's opinion of him differed when he lost because he's such a good guy. And because when, when he won, you know, know after the fight he would always pick the guy up

and shake their hand and hug them and he was always a gentleman and when people have that sort of a mentality you know like here's a perfect example this past weekend Dustin Poirier and Eddie Alvarez had a fight and the fight was stopped because of an illegal blow that Eddie Alvarez accidentally landed on Dustin Poirier and the crowd was booing Eddie Alvarez and Dustin Poirier yelled at the crowd don't boo this man like we were in a fight and he's not a dirty fighter and he made a mistake and it had like first of all Eddie Alvarez's eye was closed he could barely see he was completely on queer street he had been almost knocked unconscious and he and he hit this dude in the clinch with a couple of knees and the referee didn't stop him and he thought they were legal you He's in the chaos of a crazy cage fight.

But to have those two dudes after the fight, both are bloody and battered. Both of them are just exhausted from a war. And I'm interviewing the both of them side by side and to have Dustin Poirier step in to defend Eddie Alvarez, who just need him illegally in the face, telling the crowd, don't boo this man. Like he was literally upset. And then they shook hands. There's something beautiful about that. And I think people like the animosity, but they also really like the fact when the animosity

is squashed after the fight and people hug it out. They really do like that. Yeah. And I think that there's a parallel with comedians who don't want to accept other comedians yeah and then and then there's you who's just not insecure and wants more fucking comedy well i love comedy you know and i love comedians there's some comedians that want to be the only person that's funny and they also bring people that suck with them on the road that's one thing you see i can't stand it oh that's so common guys will they stack the deck they'll bring someone on the road that's one thing you see i can't stand it oh that's so common guys will they stack the

deck they'll bring someone on the road with them that's terrible i try to bring the funniest young guys i can find edwards yeah ian and this weekend tony and ian those guys are national headliners you know and but i bring both of them on the road with me i had joey diaz and i had one show in uh november 2011 and it was my first theater show in LA and this was like I'm gonna have everybody that matters to me like every

you know and and I asked Ian Edwards to open for me that's awesome and I'm fucking stoked he's an animal

I was just so stoked that he even did it and I loved that he's so much better than me he's a really fucking good guy too he's another guy that like he spent so much better than me. He's a really fucking good guy, too.

He's another guy that, like, he spent too much time doing other things other than doing stand-up. And this is one of the things that I always tell comics. You've got to be careful of those honeypot jobs, like writing for a show. Like, a lot of really good comics wind up losing their stand-up careers because they develop a writing career. And, like, Ian should be a national headliner in big theaters all over the world he really all the country and all over the world he really should be he's that good but because of the fact that he spent so much time writing on sitcoms he didn't tour enough and he didn't put out enough material like he only has one cd out he's been doing comedy as long as me. Ian Edwards and I started doing comedy together in 1990.

That's when I met him. I met him in 1990 or 91 in New York. And I've known him forever. That's when I made my first video was 1990. Wow. Yeah. That's a long time, man. Fuck yeah, dude.

But yeah, my thoughts are that we should, I mean, if you like, like, everybody gets into comedy because they love it, right? That's why you get into it. You want to watch. You know, you see a guy like, you know, Dice Clay or Kinison or Pryor or whoever it is that inspired you, and you see them. Kevin Hart, you know, name your person. You see him and you want to, you're like, wow, that was awesome. I want to see that guy again, you know, and you want to go see comedy. want to be like wow that was awesome i want to see that guy again you know and you want to go see comedy and that's why that's why i got into it like to to get into it and then all of a sudden

want to be the only one who's funny it's crazy to me it doesn't even make any sense and to not like the other comedians it's just like you're robbing yourself of inspiration but there's a lot of comics like that they won't watch the other comedians they don't want to see them and when the comics are doing good they get upset you know they're like light, they don't want to see them, and when the comics are doing good, they get upset. You know? They're like, light them early, light them early. Like, I've seen people say that before. It's totally a question of being insecure. It definitely is.

It's also, I think it's a famine mindset, and the famine mindset is this mindset, like, there can only be one. Like, you can only be, it can only all come to me. It has to all come to me. Like, no one else can, but it's no, what was that Snoop to all come to me like no one else can but it's no Was that Snoop Dogg song song it's no fun if the homies can't have some But it's true you don't want to be the only one who's doing well, that's crazy. It's just not a good thinking It's not a good way of thinking rather right and

Fuck I'm excited for for Anaheim oh you can have a good time. It's a great card, too, as it stands right now. There's a lot of issues, like, getting these cards to actually play out, because guys get injured. Or they get disqualified. Yeah, but I mean, when you're getting to, yeah, they get caught doing something. Yeah, I watched that, and sorry for interrupting, but I watched that Hurt Business documentary on Netflix.

I haven't watched that. Sorry for interrupting. I watched that Hurt Business documentary on Netflix. I haven't seen that. With Daniel Cormier with his knee injury and he's trying to get healthy again. And fuck, that documentary is intense. I haven't seen it. You've got to watch it, dude. It's so incredible. I mean, almost like the focus of it is, okay, we're going to spotlight a number of these personalities from the UFC and really show just how fucking tragic it is.

They put so much into it, and then they had their careers for whatever it's worth, and then when it's all said and done, they just got nothing to fucking show for it. It's just so fucking tragic. Well, you can't think that you're going to have something to show for it. That's the thing. If you're lucky and you become a Conor McGregor who's like one in a million, or you become a George St. Pierre who retires as the champion, you're really, really unusual. But for everyone else, you have to do it because you love doing it. And if you do it because you love doing it and that's what you want to do, then you should

do it. And you will bank a lot of money if you're successful. But there's this thing that people have where they see a guy like Floyd Mayweather and they say, well, hey, boxers make millions of dollars. Look, Floyd Mayweather made hundreds of millions of dollars. No, no, no, no, no. Floyd Mayweather makes hundreds of millions of dollars, not boxers. Like Gernady Golovkin, who's one of the best boxers in the world, he can't even sell 200,000 pay-per-views. Like his last pay--view buy, I think, was like 150,000, which is insanely low, to the point where it's very difficult for promoters to even get behind him unless he's fighting someone like Canelo Alvarez, which is his next fight. Well, he'll make some money in that fight, but I guarantee you, he ain't making very

good money with 150,000 pay-per-views, and he's a multiple-time world champion and like a fantastic amateur fighter and one of the best in the world. It's about being a star, and a promoter is not responsible to give a fighter a bunch of money if they're not earning a bunch of money. It's a business, and the business is people want to pay to see you. Why do they want to see you? Do they want to see you because you trash talk, or do they want to see you because you're Anderson Silva and you fight like you're in the matrix? Or do they

want to see you because you're Ronda Rousey and you're the first ever woman ass kicker that we've ever seen like this? Well, whatever reason it is that they want to see you, that reason is why you can make a shit ton of money. It's not that you just deserve a shit ton of money because it's hard to do. Right. And that's where, but a lot of people get that wrong in their head. They get that wrong in their head. Well, it's show business, but it's also athletics. So it's a very bizarre combination of two worlds. Do you think that Conor McGregor is doing a disservice to himself by putting so much

attention on, like just putting his whole UFC career on hold for this Mayweather thing? No. Because ultimately he can only fight for so long, and he stands to win, like, who knows how much money. I mean, he can make, it could be as much as $100 million for the fight. It's going to be insane. Asking a guy to pass up on the opportunity to make $100 million is kind of crazy. That said, he's fighting.

You're saying if he wins, what if he loses? No, no, no, it doesn't matter. The way boxing works is you get a purse. he's fighting. You're saying if he wins, what if he loses? No, no, no. It doesn't matter. The way boxing works is you get a purse. The way UFC works is different and often criticized, and I think rightly so, is that you have a win money and a show money. So say if you were going to fight Jamie,

and they set it up where you fight, you make $50,000 to show, and then another $50,000 if you win. A lot of people have a real hard time with that, and I think they should because you're doing your best. You're giving your best performance regardless of whether or not you win. No one's going to fight harder, I don't think at least, to get that win bonus. These guys are trying to win. They're fucking gladiators.

I mean, I think you should have a purse and that should be what you get paid and you fight your best and that's what you get paid. Like this idea that you're, that's double is going to, you know, you're going to come your way if you get the judges nod. Meanwhile, the judges get shit wrong all the time and to have your future, like have $50,000 or a hundred thousand or who knows what the number is on the line due to someone else's interpretation of it, or you can get injured and wind up losing, or anything can happen. I think that's kind of fucked up.

The thing about the Conor McGregor-Floyd Mayweather fight- Well, I mean, if it's tennis, you get the money if you win. Yeah, but that's different. First of all, it's not a fight, okay? Because you can play a tennis match every weekend. Try fighting every weekend. You'd be dead in a month. You know?

Like here it is. U.S. President, yeah, they agreed to sign a deal with Floyd Mayweather. That doesn't mean anything. Because Floyd Mayweather hasn't agreed to it. The deal hasn't been negotiated. Conor has agreed. So that's what that means. But here's the deal.

Let's be honest about this as much as possible. This is a boxing match between Conor McGregor, a guy who's never had a real professional boxing match, who's a really good amateur boxer in Ireland, who was a real multiple division world champion combat sports fighter, no doubt about that, and a striker, no doubt about that. But he's fighting one of the best boxers, if not the best boxer ever. Most likely, this is not going to work out well for him, if you had to guess. That's my honest take on it.

The only way it could work out well is if Floyd takes him lightly, Conor clips him, Conor mugs him, Conor does some old-school Bernard Hopkins shit, like just ties him up, roughs him up inside the clinch, hits him with some real hard shots, or does something fucked up to him. I mean, who knows? Headbutts him. I mean, that's what Victor Ortiz tried to do to him.

I guess you can also say that he doesn't really stand there. It's a win-win for Conor because if he loses, of course he was going to lose. Yeah. And also, Floyd is not a vicious puncher. Floyd's not Canelo. No, he never was. You don't think? No.

No, he never was. He is an amazing boxer, but he has very brittle hands. He breaks his hands a lot. And he can knock you out, like he knocked out Victor Ortiz, but he knocked out Victor Ortiz because he was just standing in front of him. He knocked out Ricky Hatton, who was a smaller fighter, but he doesn't knock out most guys. He stuns them.

He sticks them with some hard shots. But Conor's got a really good chin, and he's a much bigger guy. So the odds are, even if Conor gets worked, he's just going to get outboxed for 12 rounds and get embarrassed and just whiff at a bunch of punches and Floyd's not going to be anywhere near him. Or, he can catch him. I mean,

it is possible that he can catch him, but it's not likely. Like, the odds are going to be huge in Floyd Mayweather's favor. If I had to guess, it's going to be like 20 to 1 or something crazy like that. I'm not an odds maker. But I do know movement, and I know boxing. And there's just a big difference between what a guy like Floyd Mayweather can do

and a guy like Conor can do when it comes to the actual boxing skills. But there's also another factor, too that connor um has been fighting with small gloves and he's going to be fighting with larger gloves what size gloves they agree on for the fight if void smart is going to make him fight with 10 ounce gloves you know because probably connor will want to wear eight i don't know what what weight class they have the cutoff in like lighter weight classes they use eight ounce gloves and heavier these 10 ounce gloves you know that's like that was a stipulation the marvin haggler sugar ray leonard fight Like lighter weight classes, they use 8-ounce gloves, and heavier, they use 10-ounce gloves. You know, that's like, that was a stipulation in the Marvin Hagler or Sugar Ray Leonard fight.

Sugar Ray Leonard wanted the bigger gloves, wanted heavier gloves, because he's fighting a big, heavy puncher like Hagler. So they might make some sort of a decision to go with larger gloves. But Floyd's a fucking 49-0 multiple division world boxing champion, and Conor has never had a professional boxing fight.

That's really what it is. It's interesting. I mean, I want to see it. Don't make no mistake about it. When the fucking first bell rings, I'll have my popcorn ready, bro. Well, you'll probably be right there. I don't think so. No, I think I'll be home.

Yeah, I think I'll be watching that from home. I think that's whoever does commentary on that is going to be probably boxing people. It's like if you had Max Kellerman and Jim Lampley doing commentary on Floyd Mayweather fighting Conor McGregor in an MMA fight, I think that would be an embarrassment. That would be ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as it would be for me to do commentary on Conor fighting Floyd in a boxing match. as it would be for me to do commentary on Conor fighting Floyd in a boxing match. Unless they wanted to have a combination of an MMA judge or an MMA commentator and a boxing commentator.

Maybe, perhaps. I would do it with Max Kellerman. I'm a big fan of that guy. I like that guy a lot. I think that would be kind of interesting. But most likely I'll be at home watching it. You know? I'd like to see it live maybe.

Maybe sit ringside. Maybe kind of interesting to see that it's going to be a crazy, interesting experience to see what Connor can do. And I know he's been working like almost exclusively on his boxing for months and months and months in preparation for this. Here's the thing that motherfucker can put you into orbit with one punch. That's a fact. You know, like if you look at this past weekend, it's a perfect example of when I said, um, about Eddie Alvarez and Dustin Poirier having this crazy war. Connor murked both of those guys with one punch with, I mean, with Eddie, he softened him up with a few punches before he murked him, but he, he had him on queer street with one punch and he murked Dustin Poirier with one punch.

I mean, he hits fucking hard. This is this guy, Firas Ahabi. He's a very famous MMA coach, and he said it best. He said, Connor has the touch of death. Like, he just, whap! He just blaps dudes and zaps them with ridiculous speed and accuracy. And when he does, does your fucksville the question is whether or not he's gonna be able to do that to Floyd motherfucking

Mayweather and most likely Floyd's gonna be nowhere near him when those punches come flying I mean he's a wizard you ever watch like Floyd Mayweather defensive highlight reel what's just him kind of running backwards no him just moving away from punches, bending at the hips. He's not a runner. See, people think that Floyd's a runner. Floyd doesn't run. He's not like running away from guys. He stands right in front of dudes. He stands right in front of dudes and maybe backs up slightly or moves to the side. But he's just so knowledgeable when it comes to boxing. And he has such a deep understanding of where to be at the

right time and where the punches can come from the left comes from here that means the right's coming this way and he's nowhere near that he's over here and that means after the right look at like what can you stand in front of him you when you you watch him the way he's able to like slide out of the way of shit i mean dudes just don't fucking hit him very often. He's been hit least or less than any world champion that's had 49 fights. I would say that he probably has the most successful defensive career in the history of boxing. I mean, he's literally been tagged hard maybe five, six times in his entire career. And he stands in front of some of the best fighters in the world, like Canelo Alvarez.

I mean, Canelo was younger then. It was a few years ago, and Canelo wasn't as good as he is now. But he just stands right in front of guys and pops them in the face and just understands how to move, like that kind of shit. Like when you're watching this highlight reel, you're watching a master. Like young fighters, they should watch his defensive movements and abilities i think almost above all others except now this new guy vasily lomachenko

who i think is rivals anybody that's ever lived in terms of his movement his ability to move and his his positioning and footwork i think he's as good as it's ever been but you know he has only got like nine professional fights or something like that. He just hasn't really. Look at this. Oscar De La Hoya standing right in front of him and he can't fucking hit him. He's throwing all these punches. Look at that.

Juan Manuel Marquez. He pops him and just slides right out of the way. Sorry, not here. And unbelievable work ethic. Like Floyd Mayweather will go to a club, go to a nightclub in Vegas, hang out, drink water, hang out with everybody, get all the accolades. Ladies and gentlemen, Floyd, buddy, Mayweather's in the house. Lights and $100 bills. Everybody goes crazy, lights and $100 bills.

Then you know what he does? People will drive his Rolls Royce and he'll run. He'll run the Vegas Strip, run miles. And then go to the gym 3 o'clock in the morning and do fucking 15 rounds in the heavy bag. He's an animal. I mean, his work ethic and his mind and his determination and focus, and I guarantee you, man, if he's getting ready for Floyd Mayweather or he's getting ready for Conor McGregor, he's going to be in tip-top shape again, man.

He's never going to come in slipping. It's going to be fun. But why has he got to be so... Such a dick? Yeah. Because that's how he's never gonna like come in slipping It's gonna be fun, but why has he got to be so such a dick? Yeah, cuz that's how he made all that money It's cuz we were talking about before like what it like the show business is the show business aspect of it is Having people like he used to be pretty boy Floyd Mayweather That's they used to call him, but it wasn't really making any money You know he became rich when he became Floyd money Mayweather when he started talking all this shit

And then people wanted him to get his ass kicked, and he wasn't getting his ass kicked. People are paying to see him not necessarily because they like him. They're paying to see him because they want to see him get fucked up because he's a huge star. And he became a huge star by fucking with people, talking a lot of shit, talking about how great he is, showing all of his watches and all of his jewelry.

He's got this crazy house in Vegas. It's really the controversy, like domestic violence. Dude went to jail for beating up girls. There's a lot of controversy involved in him. And that's one of the reasons why people wanted to see him fight. They wanted to see him lose. And he didn't lose. He went all the way to the bank.

I mean, he tied Rocky Marciano's record for having the most successful fights ever. 49-0 as a champion. That's unheard of. Unheard of. And Rocky Marciano's record is a little bullshit. Because Rocky Marciano, Italians right now are going crazy. What the fuck are you saying? Rocky's the best! you saying? Rocky's the best! It's pretty much agreed that Rocky Marciano fought his brother in at least one fight early in his career. So it was like a fake fight. Pull that up. See if you've that's been

validated. I'm pretty sure I've read that. That Rocky Marciano had like a fixed fight with his brother. Back in the day, you know, like a guy like Rocky Marciano was a murderous puncher. It's probably like he would show up for a fight and people didn't want to fight him. And the people that paid to see him, like, what are we going to do? Like, yeah, my brother will get in there.

So his brother gets in there and goes down to a body shot or something. I don't know. I don't know how it played out. We're lucky we're not in that business, dude. You think you have brain damage? Right. You know, from Tim Kennedy dropping you on your head how about just getting thudded in the head by some of the best fighters in the world i think i'm in pretty good shape with all that you seem fine yeah thanks

look anthony rumble johnson who's one of the best fighters in the world just retired and he did an interview recently and uh today the interview came out where he said brain damage is a big concern. He's a guy who gives everybody brain damage. Have you ever seen Rumble Fight? The most terrifying knockout artist in MMA, in my opinion. And he retired because he's worried about someone doing that to him. He's like, I don't want brain damage. He's like, I want other things in my life.

It's also interesting because he's one of the best fighters in the world. And he said, I'm not really a fighter. He goes, I'm an athlete who's really good at fighting. Which I thought was fascinating. Because it shows so much awareness. It shows what a smart guy he is. That he's really kind of aware of who he is. Fuck yeah, dude.

So, Anaheim, you're there. I'm down to suicide. It's a good one, too. I hope nobody fucks up before the fight. They almost got in a brawl this past weekend. You should check out that show. The Hurt Business? The Hurt Business.

This past weekend, Daniel Cormier hit Jon Jones in the face with a water bottle at a press conference. Right, I saw that on TMZ. And Jon tried to chuck one at him, and they almost brawled. What's up with the water bottles at the press conferences? Well, now they drain the Monster Energy cans. So when you see those Monster Energy drinks that are sitting there on the dais, those are fake. They're real Monster Energy drinks, but they have to drink them all or empty them out before they get up there. Right.

Dude, it's so exciting. Oh, it's so exciting. And just this John Jones. It was so interesting, that press conference where Jon Jones is talking all positive, like, no, I want to show that you can get back on your feet and this and that. And Cormier says, wait, hold on a second. You just backstage, you told me I'm the biggest pussy you ever saw. Yeah.

And then they, that was fascinating the way that played out. Well, Jon is starting to come clean now, trying to be more of himself. This past weekend, they had a press conference. And he said that he was fucking doing cocaine all weekend long before he beat him. Well, Daniel Cormier said, Daniel was talking all this shit, is this fight even going to happen? Who knows? If John gets caught doing cocaine

or sandblasting a prostitute. What is sandblasting a prostitute? I don't know, but it's hilarious. It's a hilarious term. Daniel's funny, man. I did commentary with him this past weekend. Right, I saw that too. He's a funny fucking dude, man. I did commentary with him this past weekend. He's a funny fucking dude, man. I saw that on your IG story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so anyway, when John said that, I beat you after I did cocaine for a weekend. Everybody was like, oh shit. It's

like, I like that John is being himself. That'll serve him better than all this fake shit. Right, fake like, I'm just a good guy and I want to be uplifting. Yeah, well he does want to be

uplifting too, but when it comes to like actual fighting, he's a fucking straight up killer. Jon Jones is a killer. That's, I mean,

you don't get to be the youngest ever UFC champion if you're not a killer. He got, he showed up, he fought Mauricio Shogun Hua in his UFC title fight, who is like a legend in Brazil. His opening move was a flying knee.

He threw a flying knee on Mauricio Shogun Hua. That is just crazy. I mean, you have to be such a gangster to even think about doing that to a guy like Shogun. You're not feeling him out. He just leaped in and threw a fucking flying knee at Shogun's face and caught him. And beat his ass and stopped him when he was like 22. Won the world title.

It was bananas. You know, John was something special and still is. But it's going to, you know, it's going to be a long, tough fight with him and Cormier this time, I think. It's going to be fun. I can't wait, dude.ormier this time, I think. It's going to be fun. I can't wait, dude. He's going to be there. I can't wait. Yeah, I just hope the card doesn't fall apart.

You know, cards fall apart. It's so hard to get through a camp without getting injured. Like, we're in danger of losing TJ Dillashaw versus Cody Garbrandt for the Bantamweight title. Cody Garbrandt. Cody Garbrandt right now is in Germany getting some shit done to his back. He's getting Regenequin done on his back to deal with a bulging disc that's been bothering him. After that last fight, I followed him on Twitter. And then he followed me back.

Oh, that's cool. That's dope. Such a strikingly handsome guy. He's very handsome. Beautiful man. Bad motherfucker, too. Yeah. Bad motherfucker.

That was a great great that was the best fight of that night Dominic Cruz him and Dominic Cruz yeah well not only that but I mean he's fighting a guy

who was consensus top two or three pound for pound fighter in the world in Dominic Cruz and he still lit him up yeah that's a big fight

and the bravado yeah oh yeah so fun to watch oh yeah he was break dancing and shit improvising

after he dropped him and knocked him down. He was like posing. Right. Yeah. He could have finished him, but he was too busy dancing. I don't know about that. I mean, if he thought he could have finished him, he would have tried to finish him.

He realized that Dom was hurt and stunned. He wanted to humiliate him. He wanted to fuck with his head. Because Dom, Dominic Cruz's whole game, a big part of it was getting inside your head. But he fucked with the wrong guy. Because Cody grew up getting fucked with. like you start fucking with him he's like oh I'm home here like I like fucking with people come on fuck with me I'll fuck with you like if you want to be like reasonable and respectful he'll

be respectful Cody will be respectful but if you want to talk shit to him oh he's a black belt and talking shit so it's like Dominic Cruz just kind of bit off more than he could chew when it came to the shit talking and really fired Cody up. So when Cody dropped him and then started posing him, then Dominic has to kind of get it back, and he couldn't get it back, so he got kind of a little bit out of his comfort level. There's a fascinating aspect of fighting, the trash talking and the mental warfare. Damn.

You know, there's a lot to it. Don't ever do that, dude. Don't ever let anybody talk you into doing that. I know Johnny Knoxville, he did that boxing match with Butterbean. That was so hard to watch. It was terrible. How bad was he fucked up after that fight? That's not the worst for Knoxville.

What is he doing these days? Right now he's filming a movie in South Africa based on a true story about an amusement park in New Jersey called Action Park, which was notoriously the most dangerous amusement park. Lots of people died on their rides. Everybody that worked there was intoxicated and fucked up while they were working and they called it class action park and like uh and so he's making a comedy movie about the guy who who ran that park and it's set in new jersey but they're filming it in south africa because they're filming a lot of shit in south africa it's so cheap to film in south africa so they're building a whole fucking thing russell peters just got back from south africa he was

filming a a new show for Netflix called The Indian Detective. And he's filming it in South Africa, I think, for the same reasons. They just film a lot of stuff in South Africa now because of that? It's so cheap there. Really? Yeah. I remember being there. When we went out there for Wild Boys.

Is it dangerous? Johannesburg is the carjacking capital of the world. Whoa. Which we thought was hilarious. We were jacking off in cars the whole time. Carjacking capital of the world. I thought it was Camden, New Jersey. Wasn't there like a movie on that, like Drive?

Wasn't there a movie about carjacking in Camden? I feel like Camden, New Jersey. But what do they say? Cape Town is a first world city in a third world country, I think is how they... Oh, that makes sense. And Johannesburg is

more... Johannesburg, I think, is a little gnarlier. It's more kind of Lebanon kind of deal. Oh, yeah? I mean, I don't know. That was the impression I got. It was creepier. I want to go to Africa, but I'm scared of malaria. So funny.

I used to dump out my malaria pills and fill up the bottle with Xanax. What? Yeah. You weren't worried about malaria? No. Because the malaria pills give you terrible nightmares. Yeah, I Yeah. You weren't worried about malaria? No. Cool. Because the malaria pills give you like terrible nightmares or crazy hallucinations. Yeah. Like I didn't like the experience in malaria pills. So what did it do for you? Gave you nightmares? Yeah. It gave me fucked up nightmares. If I, if I remember right, I didn't, I was like, Oh, well I can bring tons of pills and just put

them in the wrong bottle. And if you get malaria, then what? Oh, I don't know. That's another thing, man, that when I was a kid at the American School in London, like in eighth grade, we went on a field trip to Egypt. And they told us, they said, don't fucking drink the water. Don't, like, even if you order a soda, don't let them give you ice cubes to pour because you'll get so sick from the water. And we took it seriously.

But then we were eating outside this restaurant on the River Nile. Here's this Egyptian dude. Fucking watched him dunk a toothbrush in the River Nile. He's sitting there brushing his teeth. And I was thinking, well, if the fucking tap water is so bad, then what's the River Nile? It's got to be insane. But I remember when I was 13 and I thought, well, if the fucking tap water is so bad, then what's the River Nile? It's got to be insane. But I remember when I was 13 and I thought, well, fuck, if that guy went to America, if that guy went to England, the toothbrush dude, he'd probably get sick drinking the water where I live. No.

I mean, I don't know. It's like whatever your exposure is. If this guy's built up his immune system, he can do that. Right. And I remember thinking, so probably the best thing you could do would be to travel the whole world and drink fucking tap water like crazy everywhere you go. That'd be the way to build up your immune system.

And then ultimately that's what we did. Wild Boys, we went to fucking every goddamn continent except Antarctica. And I drank, first thing I did, I'd come from the airport, I'd check in the hotel room and I would put down my bag and I'd fucking brush my teeth. You know, you brush your teeth and you can rinse it out and then you think

and I'd be able to put my head under the tap and just gulp, gulp, gulp and drink a ton of tap water. I did that all over Africa, fucking Asia, South America, everywhere. I fucking drank tap water like a motherfucker. Did you get sick? I had a little bit of diarrhea in Kenya. But I don't think that that was that big of a deal. I think that my theory

was sound. I like how you experiment on yourself. It's not like you brought somebody with you. Mike, drink the water. Right. That's why I don't understand germ you. Mike, drink the water. Right. No, dude. Yeah, it's why I don't understand germaphobes and shit like that. Oh, that's crazy. Like, you live in an incubator.

That's how you get sick. You know? You want to, like, I don't get nervous about shaking people's hands or any shit like that. Fuck that. That's keeping your immune system on its toes. Yeah. No. You know, over the course of a weekend, I'll shake hundreds of people's hands.

You know, at a comedy show, especially if I have a meet and greet after the show, which I didn't do in Dallas this past weekend. But for people that are asking, I can't. The size of that crowd was fucking unbelievable. 6,000 people. I can't do it. That was, congratulations, Joe. Thanks, man.

That was fucking cool. Thank you. It was fun. It was a fucking awesome crowd. That was, I just saw this morning on your tour. God, I'm jealous of your tour schedule to go like three days and then I'm home. That's how I do it. I can't do it.

I have kids. I don't want to do it any other way. I do two days out and come back. Burt Kreischer's schedule. Oh, he's crazy. It's fucking hilarious. Well, Burt Kreischer would go and do things on the road for months at a time. Well, yeah.

I mean, not months, but mean the entire fucking year yeah you guys never hope well for his television show was real bad but he's not doing that television show anymore which i think is great because it allows him to concentrate on his stand-up which is right another thing that's like that was kind of his honeypot was the his travel channel show whereas it was kind of taken away from his stand-up but now his stand-up is blowing up because he's really focusing on and he's doing it a lot touring a lot and now people are getting a chance and it's tighter too like you see him on stage it's fucking super tight because he's performing a lot whereas he would go a long time without performing because he'd be you know doing all this crazy

shit on the road right which he enjoyed you know i too. Like, I did his podcast, and we had a blast. And he really encouraged me. He's like, ah, man, go to the store, go to the store. And I've been going to the store a lot. And he encouraged me to do that. That's awesome. I just think it's funny how you say that his stand-up suffered because of the Travel Channel show. But now he's on the road, like, every day of the year.

It's like, where does his family fit in? Well, he's not really. I mean, he's home during day out of the year. It's like where does his family fit in? Well, he's not really. I mean he's home during the weekdays a lot. It's weekends. Well, yeah, but he's on the comedy club grind. So that means you – But that's at night. The way it works with me, my kids are asleep by the time I leave the house

because my sets at the comedy store are always like 10, 15. I put my kids to bed at 8 and then I'll go over my material real quick and head out the door and then it's like I have i have another life you know i have the nighttime life it's it's doable it's doable but the travel's a fucking grind man it's just it's so bad for your body i'm not touring as much as i as i did the last few now i'm like week on week off you know yeah week on week off week on week off is a way to do it two Two weekends out of the month is enough. It's more than enough. Because if I come home, like yesterday, I was wrecked when I come home.

Just for the weekend of traveling and then the flight. And it's not a fucking long flight. Dallas is only like two and a half hours or something. It's nothing. But you get home and you're like, oh, it's so dragging. But what you got to do is work out. That's the key. When you get home from something like that,

go on a hike, do something to get your metabolism pumped up, and then you'll feel normal. But it's the only way to feel normal. If you feel jet lagged, a lot of people just like to lay around and do nothing. Right. You can't do that.

You got to kickstart your body. You just got to blow out all the carbon. Yeah. And meditate too, man. That'll help too. That'll help too. Don't worry about people fucking with you, Steve-O. I can meditate too. That'll help too. That'll help too. Don't worry about people fucking with you,

Steve-O. I know, dude. Thanks for setting me straight like that. No problem, man. Now I feel,

I find myself, why the fuck did I talk about hookers so much? You didn't. I know, I mean, whatever. The hooker stories

were so fucking ancient, I don't even care. It's just that I have a girlfriend now and I'm really, she's just a wonderful, wonderful person. And I'd hate for her to have negatively impacted. I'm not saying anything. Who cares?

I'll go home and tell her, hey, I told some old hooker stories. Who cares? You're just sensitive. It's the same reason why you like to snuggle. You're a good guy. I really want to be good to my girl. And I really care about being good to my girl so so that's kind of in my head and then um and i'm like why the fuck did you know i'm like oh i don't want to lynch al magical but

then kind of fucking you know i mean i told the story objectively like of what happened and i do like want to just i just want to say don't fucking be a dick to al magical he's a good guy he just he gets in his own way with that stuff you know it's in his own way but god he's a fucking talented guy watch his special he's a great guy give him give him love and uh al and i have been friends since he first started doing stand-up i worked with him in the late 90s at cobs in san francisco if anybody's listening and they're like, you know, maybe just throw out a tweet and say, hey, fucking, Steve-O fucking- Sends his love.

Sends his love. I really do. Yeah. I genuinely fucking do. Good for you, dude. Good for you. Fucking A. Where can people see you if they want to go see you?

Shit, my next gig is in Salt Lake City, Wiseguys. Oh, that's a great club. I wonder if- Yeah, dude, it's going to be my sixth time there. I love it. If I'm in the one of the Green Valley is it called or I don't know which one

I might be down to I don't know which one I'm at either I'm there in July Salt Lake City I love that fucking Salt Lake City's a great fucking place

people have it all goofy in their head Salt Lake City Salt Lake City well they have it they have it in their head that Salt Lake City is like stuck up Mormons.

But the people that come out to the comedy clubs are the people that are tired of the Mormons. Sure. They're fun. Or the people that are Mormons that could take a joke. I've done so phenomenally well there. I mean, I really think I've been there five times. And I think I'm going back for my sixth time. Joey Diaz was the first person to tell me.

He's like, Joe Rogan, you've got to get down to that fucking Salt Lake City. Because those motherfuckers are starving They're starving for comedy I love it And what the fuck else After that I'm not even I can't, everything's at steveo.com steveo.com I'm excited, I'm filming a cameo for this

Movie on Netflix Called Game Over Man What is it? I don't know, but I think Seth Rogen producing it. Oh, cool. It's a Netflix original movie. Isn't it interesting

that Netflix is doing all these original movies now, too? Like, you keep seeing all these original movies. Where the fuck are they coming up? I was talking to Bill Burr about how they're giving away so much millions of dollars

to comedians for... It's great. Bill Burr was cracking up. He's like, what a good time to get into comedy. Yeah, it is. It's a very good time. Right, yeah was cracking up. He's like, what a good time to get into comedy. Yeah, it is. It's a very good time. Right, yeah.

Alright, well thanks, brother. Thank you, man. Thanks for another fun podcast. Great time. I appreciate you greatly. I appreciate you too, brother. Well, fucking thank you, dude. Alright, we'll be back tomorrow with Graham Hancock, Michael Shermer, and Randall Carlson. It's the big epic debate about asteroidal impacts and the end of the ice age and all that crazy shit.

It should be a lot of fun. That's tomorrow. 1 30 PM Pacific. See ya. Yeah, dude.