The Joe Rogan Experience - #978 - Judd Apatow

Episode Date: June 22, 2017

Judd Apatow is a film producer, writer, director, actor, and comedian. Look for him touring all over this summer, and check out his latest film "The Big Sick" opening June 23rd in New York & Los Angeles.

so i might plug some dates early do it do it and we're live judd how are you buddy yeah judd apatow here dude you know sussman real well not only do i know your manager sussman jeff sussman when i was a kid i loved comedy so i got a job at the east side comedy club at which was in huntington on long island this is about 83 84 he was the bartender and he used to give me rides home because i lived really far away and i used to take a cab home and spend all the money i made as a dishwasher on the cab ride home wow but i just wanted to be in the club near comics. Eddie Murphy was coming in.

It was crazy. And I swear to God, this is no BS. You have those people in your life that you remember who were insanely kind and cool. And Jeff Sussman was like that. As a young kid, I was maybe 15 or 16, I thought, this is the greatest guy I've ever met. He's so nice to me. He gives me a ride home. He's funny. And I'm so glad that

he's rich now. He's been my manager since I was an open mic-er. Yeah. He discovered me as an open mic-er in Boston. Who were his first clients? Bob Nelson. Yeah, Bob Nelson at the Eastside Comedy Club. Nothing funnier. He used to do a show once a week, and one of the things he did is he would just turn on the radio and scan through the channels and do improv based on what was on the radio. So if it was elevator music, he would do a dentist routine. If it was heavy metal, he would suddenly do like a heavy metal guy. And it was incredible.

Yeah, that guy was huge at one point in time and then i think he blew a fuse or something i think he's a very religious person now and he still performs in branson it's a nice way of saying he blew a fuse depends on your view of things i guess maybe he's happier than all of us. Maybe. Highly unlikely. But maybe. But God, was he funny. I mean, truly as funny as people get. And then he built a thing on stage. You have to imagine this.

He built like a wall on the stage. And in the wall, he built two doors. And he would do all these bits where he would come in and out of doors as different people. And then he did a thing where he would come out of the door, run out of one door, across the stage and in the other door, and then run out that door again as a different person so it looked like he was chasing himself. It would be like a gorilla chasing Bob,

but he would just change his body language as he ran in and out of these doors. It was really creative. No one has ever really done stuff like that since, even. Well, something happened somewhere along the line where Carrot Top owns props. They don't. No one does props anymore. You remember when we were first starting out, there was prop comics.

It was a genre. Dennis Miller used to do props when he started. I heard that. He used to put his lips through a 45 record and I forgot what the bit was. And I threw a couple of props first few times I went on stage. I remember bringing a light and putting it to my finger to make my finger look like E.T.'s finger. I can't quite remember what the bit was, but that's how little material I had. Isn't it funny though that that genre is just sort of dissolved? And it is funny as hell. I went to see Carrot Top in Vegas.

I mean, it's a ridiculous show. I laughed my ass off. I brought my whole family. We really laughed hard. I mean, that is a funny genre of just ridiculous, stupid prop jokes. Yeah, Carrot Top gets way more shit than he deserves. He's very funny. Oh, no, he's crazy funny.

I mean, I'm always for the silly guys. You know, I love the smart people and the inventive people, but the silly guy is also pretty great, and it's hard to write super silly jokes that make people laugh out loud. Like, there's

comedians who are funny, and you're like, oh, that's funny. And then there are people who actually make you piss your pants. Yeah. And the one thing that Carrot Top did that made me laugh was he runs around the crowd and at some point he's like giving the crowd shots. He's handing out cups

and really fast pouring shots and they're spilling on people and he's running around giving people shots. And then he like turned to some lady and he's like, oh, I can't give it to you. You're pregnant. But she clearly wasn't pregnant. It was just a chubby lady and it got really awkward oh no that's always the best when you make that mistake are you allowed to just give people shots like

what if you have an alcoholic but they're just they're they're sober but you're like so influential they go oh fuck it one drink's not gonna hurt and then boom you just throw their life off track. Carrot Top wanted it to happen. Yeah. You gotta be careful with that. No? I certainly am not pouring booze for the crowd

but I appreciated it as someone observing Carrot Top. I appreciate that too but I would think as a performer you'd have to be really concerned.

I know too many people that you give them one shot and they they van they're Doug Stampler from House of Cards. Maybe Carrot Top is getting pre-show releases.

There could be a whole system. There could be. Of how he knows who to give the shots to. Yeah. He survives in Vegas, too. There's not a whole lot of people that do that anymore.

Yeah. There's Penn and Teller. Yeah. They've been there forever, but their show is a magic show, right? And then there used to be a lot of residents. Yes. that anymore yeah there's like Penn and Teller and yeah they've been there forever right but their show is a magic show right and then there used to be like a lot of residents yes they were doing stand-up George Wallace Rita Rudner George George Wallace quit doing that right yeah he did for a long time and he had enough at some point yeah he explained to me how hard it is like you

have to you have to fill that room like every night. Fill in rooms. Let me say, as someone who makes movies and is terrified that people will show up, fill in rooms scares me as well. Like we have a movie, The Big Sick. It opens in New York and L.A. this weekend. And then in two weeks it opens around the country. It's Kamel Nanjiani, Holly Hunter and Ray Romano. Based on an experience that happened to Kamel Nanjiani when he met his wife. And he's from Pakistan and his parents wanted him to have an arranged marriage. But he fell in love with an American woman.

And then she quickly got sick and had to be put into a coma. And it's this really hilarious, fascinating, true story about him hanging out with her parents while she's in a coma. It's just a very unique story. But it works great. It's like 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. It's like one of those gem movies that comes around every like four or five years. What's it called? It's called The Big Sick.

And so like right now I'm terrified. You know, will people go? Will you get off your ass for a great, hilarious movie to go to a theater? And it's the same thing with stand-up. You know, now that I'm doing some concerts, do you like track like how they're selling? It's a same thing with stand-up. You know, now that I'm doing some concerts, do you, like, track, like, how they're selling? It's a scary thing. They go, yeah, don't worry about this city. They always sell late.

And then you look at your numbers for months and no one bought tickets. And then, like, in the last two weeks, they sell out. Or do you just not tune in at all? I try to tune in to as little as I possibly can. Yeah. in at all i try to tune into as little as i possibly can yeah other than like doing the jokes themselves doing the shows themselves you know family hobbies yes i don't tune in anymore i just feel like there's no reason to have fuck you money if you don't say fuck you so i'm supposed to be saying fuck you right now yeah but not really saying fuck you just there's things to

think about and there's things to not think about like there's like the things that like You don't have any really any control over. Yes, like whether or not people buy tickets You're fucking hilarious. Yeah, you're Judd Apatow. What are you worried about man? I guess we're successful you've done some of the greatest movies of all time But the things that always drive me is the terror of things not working out Yeah, that's what keeps me on my game is to be scared. That's why I'm going to tell your crowd right now. Well, that's good because that's one of the reasons

why you're still good. But just let me help you out, dude. You've made some of the greatest comedy movies ever. Just chill out. No, I can't chill out, Joe. I can't chill out. That's why I'm going to tell people I'll be at the Columbus Theater in Providence, Rhode Island, July 25th. Damn, early with the plugs.

Yeah. And then Ridgefield Playhouse on July 23rd in Ridgefield, Connecticut. Then I'm at the Wilbur in Boston. That's one of the great- The best place. The great place. Do you have a website where people can read all these? Because they're not going to remember.

They're probably in their car right now. They're like, fuck in the sky. The Wilbur in Boston, July 24th, thewilbur.com. I don't know. See, this is how I do it wrong. Do you have a website? Do you have a website? I have no website. I've got nothing. You don't have.com. I don't know. See, this is how I do it wrong. Do you have a website? I have no website.

I've got nothing. You don't have a website? I don't. Am I supposed to? I thought websites. My kids make fun of me if I even talk about the web. Like if I say to my kids, yeah, let's find out on the World Wide Web. They're like, dad, no one calls it the World Wide Web anymore.

My daughter yelled at me the other day. She said, dad, no one emails. Don't email me. Text me. and she acted like i was like talking about ham radio yeah you might want to tell your kid to shut the fuck up exactly ridiculous well no one emails everybody i email every day what are you talking about i guess the kids don't the kids don't have attachments i think that they don't need it because there's no attachments my kid never has a p PDF to send. That's true. And they don't spell your.

They don't care. Every kid spells you are. Every fucking kid. Or their. It's like it's gone. Yeah. And what, how old are your kids? I have a 20.

I have a nine and a seven. Girls? All. Yeah, I'm all girls. I'm 19 and 14. All girls. Chaos. Chaos and.

They all gang up on me. And the teen years are rough. They're rough. They turn They all gang up on me. And the teen years are rough. They're rough. They turn on you. A little bit. Genetically, I think they're supposed to push for their freedom and turn on you for a while. Well, I also think they're so confused. There's so many hormones raging through their system that didn't exist until they're a new person.

If you stop and think about how you are when you're 11 and then how you are when you're 15, it's only four years later and you're a totally different human. Yes. I tell them that. I say, you're acting hormonal right now. Can you please stop? They can't help it. We talk about the chemicals.

I have this book. It's called Yes, Your Teen is Crazy. And then whenever they give me a hard time, I just take it out and just start reading it in front of them. But it is all about how their brain isn't even cooked yet. Your brain isn't really cooked until your early 20s, and your impulse control and everything is gone, and that what you're supposed to do as a parent is model sane behavior, and if they see you not lose your shit thousands of times, maybe that will program them to

handle problems well but they are going to freak out a ton and you shouldn't get that mad out of them at them because they're not capable of not freaking out but that is a hard advice yeah it's hard advice and when you get down to the youngest one like my my youngest is seven yeah and i'm like don't you have your shit together yet come on everybody else is older than you let's go let's go they don't they don't get a full shot but the younger kid always thinks they're allowed to do what the older kids do so it gets scarier as as you have more kids right because they go well my older sister does that so

aren't i allowed to do that now and you're like no you're seven yeah uh yeah it's it's a really weird time i think especially in california you know uh marijuana is basically legal it's a it's a really weird time, I think, especially in California. You know, marijuana is basically legal. It's a difficult debate to have with kids when it is legal. You can't even pull out the it's illegal card. Right. I'm not worried about marijuana. At what age, though, would you not worry about marijuana? I'm not worried about it.

At any age. If your seven-year-old's like, you know what, someone handed me an edible. I absolutely don't want my seven-year-old or my nine-year-old to be smoking pot, but I'm not worried about it. At any age. If your seven-year-old's like, you know what, someone handed me an edible. I absolutely don't want my seven-year-old or my nine-year-old to be smoking pot. But I'm not worried about pot. I'm worried about alcohol. Yes. I'm worried about alcohol and I'm worried about driving. I'm worried about like teens drinking and driving.

That freaks me out. Like her being with her friends as they go to high school. That freaks me out because kids just don't know what their tolerances are. They don't understand the effects of alcohol on the body and your ability to react. That scares me. It's all about Uber. Yes. It's all about the Lyft.

And that is one thing I noticed is that all the kids are, there seems to be a lot less drunk driving because they all just Uber. Oh, it's amazing. If you can afford it. But if you can't afford it, I guess you're still screwed. screwed yeah you are screwed if you can't afford it but it's pretty reasonable if you're just moving around a general area like if you're hopping around west hollywood and going from the store to the improv like people do it all the time it's a couple bucks it's not that big a deal and it's like it saves you all the worry and hassle of being a drunk are you a neurotic dad or a calm dad i try try to be as calm as I can.

Yeah. You know, there's a certain amount of neurotic that seeps in every now and then, but I try to be really calm. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the thing is just everybody does it. Everybody grows up.

Just have it be fun as much as possible. I have a friend, an older gentleman who's had a bunch of kids. He always says to me, you know, you gotta let him go through it. You know, they're gonna do the drugs.

It's fine. They get through it. They figure it out. You know, they're gonna have sex. You can't stop it. You gotta let them go through it. They'll figure it out.

Is your friend the dude from the Big Lebowski? Yes. It's literally John Goodman. The dude was, what's his face? Not John Goodman. The dude was, what's his face? Not John Goodman, the other guy. What's his name?

Jeff, what the fuck? Oh, Jeff Bridges? Jeff Bridges. Yeah, he's the dude. Oh, he's the dude. Yeah, in the movie, right? Yeah. I saw it the other day. I haven't seen it in years.

I was fucking crying laughing. Oh, it's a good one. That used to be my movie, my litmus test for whether or not I could talk to you. Like, how do you feel about the big Lebowski? But piece of shit, I gotta go. Yes. We did an episode of freaks and geeks where he shows John Daly's character.

Sam, where shows a girl, the jerk and she hates it. And, and he breaks up with the cheerleader at school because she hates the jerk. Good for him. I had that with a girl in high school where she hated a ET and I, and that was a rough one.

We're at rough one to survive back then. Yeah, there's certain music and there's certain movies that you're just not allowed to like or hate. Yes. Yeah. Well, that's a funny thing with my wife and I is we violently disagree on a lot of that stuff. We don't have like one or two. Violently? Yeah, there's one or two.

Like the main things that mean the most to me in the world where my wife's like, I can't. I can't. I don't like it at all. And then stuff that she likes that I go, I hate that more than anything. I think that's good. I think it's good, especially with your spouse, to have like very few interests in common. I think all those people that do everything together are fucking weirdos, man. They always freak me out.

That is interesting. Yeah. Cause it's a, it's like stand up. My wife, I met her when I wasn't doing stand up. I did stand up from the time I was 17 until I was 24. I met my wife when I was 28 or 29. So she didn't know anything about stand up till three years ago when I started doing it again.

Yeah. What, what caused you to do that? I remember when you started coming around. Everybody was like, look at Judd. What's he doing? It's funny. When I stopped when I was 24, I was pretty burnt out. So that was 92.

And I was getting a lot of writing work. The Ben Stiller Show got picked up, the sketch show we did for Fox, and that kept me busy. And I was making, you know, a lot of money compared to the $500 a week I was making doing stand-up on the road. And I thought, well, this is the universe saying, you don't need to do stand-up and you should stop. Maybe your friends are funnier than you.

And I'm living with, you know, Sandler and I'm hanging out with opening opening up for Jim Carrey, and it's daunting. You know, it's like trying to start a band and your friend is John Lennon. You just feel like a dick. And it would be weird to not feel like a dick. Like, if I was cocky with Jim Carrey and thought,

I'm funnier than this guy. I mean, I'm a sane human being. I know what's happening. And I was also a little bored of it because I was so obsessed since I was 10. And I did funny people. I did a little stand-up to write jokes for funny people. So I was writing jokes, but it was for Adam's character. And then I started hanging out with Amy Schumer working on Trainwreck, and she would come back from these tours. and I just got jealous I thought that sounds like the most fun thing and then one night I said to her I'm gonna go up

tonight just to make you laugh just just so you could see what it was like when I did stand up and then I told a couple of stories I had told on talk shows that I knew would go okay and Amy was very excited hoping I was gonna bomb like she she thought this would be this funny thing. Judd bombs at the Comedy Cellar. And I did pretty good, just because it's stories I know work okay. And then the Comedy Cellar said, hey, anytime you want to come back, just pop in. We'll put you up. Now, no one ever said that when I was a comic, because it was hard to get stage time.

And I thought, wait a second. I'm getting treated like somebody who who gets to show up and go on stage I have to take advantage of this and I went on every night the entire shoot of train wreck no matter what time we finished shooting I would drive straight to the comedy cellar wow and I had the best time and then I came back to LA and started doing the improv and the comedy store and Largo and and then I would put these benefits together at Largo once a month. And to me, that was the most fun because I could book a show

and get like Shan Lane to come and Randy Newman or, you know, Aziz and Fiona Apple. And we did them all as benefits. And I always like producing things like that. And then slowly my act got to the point where I thought, oh, I'm,, oh, I deserve to be here. This isn't some freak show.

Well, you know the difference between someone who writes for television and movies and the difference between that and a lot of stand-ups is when you're making a living writing and producing and directing and doing all that, you're disciplined. You write. Yes. You actually write. You have notes. You have books. You're opening up your binder. You're disciplined. You write. You actually write. You have notes. You have books. You're opening up your binder. You're going over your stuff.

So many comics don't do that. I remember when I started, I was opening for Larry Miller, one of the legendary comedians. And he would have these incredible bits. Some of them were like 10 minutes long. He had a great bit about

drinking. It's one of the best stand-up bits of all time. And he had a bit about Thanksgiving and a skiing bit. And they were all like 10 minutes and they would get funnier and funnier. And one day he said to me, you know, this is a job. You got to sit down every day and write jokes. You don't just go to the mall and watch a movie every day. Like if you sat down for two hours at a desk and treated this like it was a job that deserved your respect, you'll be a hundred times better than everybody else. Yeah. And I didn't listen to his advice at the time, but I do now. Like now I sit down.

Right. That's why I brought it up. Yeah. Yeah. Because you show up with like notes. You're like one of the rare guys at the comedy store. You'll show up with notes. Exactly.

I know nobody has notes. Everyone has like a little like a business card with three bullet points on it. And I'm a little more of the shandling tons and tons of paper until you're drowning and confused. Shandling. That's a sad one, man. What a fun dude that was. Oh, the best. And I'm doing a documentary about him now for HBO.

was oh the best and I'm doing a documentary about him now for HBO and so the most fun part about it is he always went to the comedy magic club and did stand-up even in eras where you didn't know he was doing it that's where I met him at the comedy magic club yeah and how was he I was great yeah he's just I mean it was like for me I was a huge fan of Larry Sanders show and Larry Sanders show that's where Paul Sims got his start. Yes. He was the producer of News Radio. And so when I saw him, it was one of those ones like, oh, wow, that's actually Gary Shandling right there. Right there with Judd Apatow. It's right there.

It's a weird one. And the Comedy Magic Club, they tape every show. Since the 80s, they have every show taped. Yeah. And I said, can you give me the last 50 sets that Gary did at the Comedy Magic Club? And this is, you know, from the last few years. And no one's ever seen any of these jokes except the people at those shows. He didn't do them on TV.

He didn't do them on talk shows. There was no special. Some of the funniest jokes you've ever heard. Just him, you know, working on a craft have a turn around being so funny Yeah, but he did a lot of notes he was a his discipline guy he was well in the 70s He wrote so many jokes. I found these binders Hundreds and hundreds of jokes in every loose-leaf binder like a guy sitting at a desk all day just crafting like two sentence

Perfect jokes. Yeah, but there's like the balance right? There's that there's crafting the perfect jokes And then there's just being able to be loose. Yeah and fun and hilarious well, he also used to go on stage with Just a setup and he wouldn't know the punchline and he would say the setup and hope the punchline came, which is pretty wild. He, you know, one of the great things about doing a documentary is you get to ask people for footage. So Seinfeld gave me the dailies for comedians in cars getting coffee when he interviewed Gary.

And then the people who made the movie Comedian about Seinfeld gave me all the dailies of a sequence that they only used 10 seconds of in the documentary, which was Gary and Jerry going to the Comedy Magic Club and doing sets. And also there that night is Nealon and Chris Rock. And there's 12 tapes. It's all their performances and then their entire conversation for three hours hanging out backstage. And it is unbelievable, the conversation, how funny it is. And there's a moment where Chris Rock is doing the joke about how Nelson Mandela got divorced. That even Nelson Mandela, after decades of being in prison, he could survive that, but he couldn't survive getting out and being married. He gets divorced immediately.

I forgot how he worded it. But there's a shot of Shanling alone in a green room watching Rock do this bit. And as he's doing it, Gary's, like, saying what he... He's, like, he's guessing what the bit is as Rock's saying it, but in awe of Chris Rock. And it's a really beautiful moment. And that's what the best part of doing this documentary

is just finding little magical moments that no one would ever see if you didn't dig deep. What made you decide to do this? We did a memorial for Gary when he died at the wilshire evil theater and like a thousand people showed up and i made about five mini documentaries about gary to show in between the speakers and i thought oh this is a documentary i should just expand this and now it's like now it's like the oj doc of gary it's a big long epic documentary i think

people don't realize how good the larry sanders show was yeah like people forgot you know if you go back and watch it again that was a revolutionary show when it was on the air it really was well people don't go backwards like my kids don't go backwards digging that far like to them you know looking backwards means i'll watch all of parks and rec right they're not digging into the 90s right uh they go to 2015 and people forget that when the larry sanders show came on the air you know the shows on hbo it was like uh first and ten or not necessarily the news or dream on you know gary was the first show on hbo that made hbo go oh this is what hbo should be we should be the quality uh network with all with this kind of groundbreaking television and uh you know gary was a guy who got offered all

the talk shows he got offered to replace Letterman. He was hosting The Tonight Show for Johnny. Him and Leno would take turns doing it. And he decided he'd rather satirize it than do it. You know, and he wanted to explore the people and not be a talk show host. He wanted to show, like, the world of ego that is not just talk shows, but just show business. He was fascinated with people's need for attention, his own need for attention, his own vanity and narcissism,

and he wanted to explore that and satirize how we just want to be liked so badly, like what we do to be liked, which prevents us from actually feeling love because we're so obsessed with approval. Do you talk to Jay? Are you friends with Jay Leno? Yeah.

Jay and I were talking about what it was like to host The Tonight Show and how much more fun he has now doing comedians in cars, or not comedians in cars, Jay Leno's Garage. Yes. Because that's what he really loves. Yeah. He really loves cars, and he gets to be himself while he's doing this

He doesn't have to have people on that He doesn't want like he just has people on to talk to them about cars and stuff and has comics on and all kinds of People on but you know when he was talking about like having that choice like you would have people on that You didn't give a shit about and you had to talk to them and for Jay that was most everybody Yeah, because he loves certain things. Right. But he doesn't love sports. Right.

He's not a massive movie fan. But you get him going on the things he cares about, like cars. He's fascinated. But that, I think, was some of the fun of watching The Tonight Show. Really? Jay interviewing a young actress. And you know he doesn't care at all. And how is he going to make it amusing for himself and the audience?

Did you see the Hicks bit that Hicks did about Jay interviewing Joey Lawrence and he blows his brains out and it forms the NBC peacock on the wall? I mean, I always felt that he reloads. I always thought that was very unfair, the Hicks and the Andy Kindler criticisms of Leno. You know, Leno was, you know, and is, you know, one of the great stand-ups of all time. I mean, in a club, you'd see Leno in the 80s. Nobody touches it. He was just the most fun guy.

And still, I saw him recently at the Improv. Still is. And, you know, he made a call to, you know, to be America's host, beat everyone for forever, was proven completely correct. But there was this idea that it was a betrayal of his club persona that some comedians were so mad about. And I don't know how you could be mad at anybody for deciding how to run their show because, you know, as we've seen with other people, sometimes snarky guy runs out of gas in two years.

And, you know, Jay found the space that was comfortable for him. And God, was he nice to me every time I was there. He's a great guy. And always super funny when I was on the show and super nice. Would put me on when I wasn't doing stand-up just as a director just because he liked me as a person. And really a good class guy.

And in the Shanley documentary, fascinating describing his observations of Gary, his observations about talk shows. I mean, what a ride he went on. To that world of being a talk show host, there's not a lot of wiggle room, especially back then, you know, as opposed to now. Now with the internet, I think a lot of like subject matter

and a lot of language has opened up more. You can kind of get it like, if you see like what's going on now with Seth Meyers or, you know, any of the other late night talk show hosts, they have much more role. Look at Colbert. Colbert, rather.

Colbert said that Donald Trump, the president, uses Putin, like Putin uses his mouth as a cock holster. He said that on television. With the phrase cock holster? Yes. They beeped it out. You're not aware of that? I'm not.

I have not seen it. It was a crazy long rant And it was really hilarious because Trump Trump came back and it said a bunch of think about Colbert being tasteless and talentless And being a loser and all these different things and Colbert came back again. He goes Donald Trump He goes I thought if there was one thing you understood its show business And he goes you responded he goes you responded i win you don't understand and it was it was really fucking hilarious well trump can't help but respond yeah he has no ability to go it demeans me to acknowledge you exist he doesn't understand

that and so i think he's easily baited into any of those situations, which is I think a little is what scares people because you think if Colbert can bait him, what about other countries in very serious situations? What baits him into action that he shouldn't take? Well, he blocks people on Twitter. Yeah. He's the fucking president. People are trying to they're trying to figure out, like, is that like a First Amendment issue? Like, was it allowed to communicate with the president directly through Twitter? Well, now I can't because he blocks me.

Is he allowed to block people? So there's people that are considering lawsuits right now. Doesn't Donald Trump understand you should just be muting people? Just mute them, Donald. You don't have to block them. No, he wants them to know. I want them to know. MAGA. MAGA has blocked them. I like blocking

people. I love blocking people. The second I see anything, I block someone even if they say one of my movies was just okay. It doesn't even have to be that mean. Boom. I'll never see you again. Wow. Really?

If somebody says, that was pretty good, I'll block them. Really? I'll block them on almost a compliment. Almost a compliment. Some weird underhanded stuff. If you're not kissing my ass pretty hard, you're gone. That's my Twitter theory. I like it. I don't even need you to call me a compliment. Some weird underhanded stuff. If you're not kissing my ass pretty hard, you're gone. That's my Twitter theory. I like it.

I don't even need you to call me a Jew. That's the funny thing is that when people say nasty things on Twitter, they always start sounding like they make sense, but then bail at the end. So they'll just be like, give the president a chance. He was duly elected by the American people. And go jump in an oven. It's always like the two beat. Oh, they're saying that to you.

Yeah, it sounds sane and it always lands on jump in an oven. The Jew stuff. Exactly. Yeah. Well, do you take a lot of heat for criticizing the president? I really don't. I don't. I don't. It's pretty.

I mean, I don't think I'm saying anything that anyone else isn't saying because I have a simple theory about all this stuff, which is I don't think rich people want you to be rich. I think that people are trying to be told that rich people really can handle everything. And if you let the rich people have all the money, they're just going to figure it all out. And in fact, last night was an interesting night because Donald Trump said he doesn't want poor people in charge of the economy. And what he said that, yeah, he said, he goes, I want rich people. But it's what he's not understanding is there are public servants who have not made the choice to be billionaires who actually understand economic theories better than the head of Walmart or something, that just because you were able to figure out how to sell M&Ms doesn't mean you can run the economy, that there are people that they don't want to be rich. They want to help other people and they are very smart about ways to help the government work well.

And, you know, that's like saying Martin Luther King's a loser because he wasn't rich. He's not smart. And this only rich people know how to do things I find so offensive. And I'm very surprised that people who aren't billionaires aren't more offended at the contempt that they're held in. Because you could disagree on economic theory. You could say, oh, I believe in trickle-down economics, or I don't believe in trickle-down economics. But this is a government that thinks if you're not a billionaire, you're an idiot. You really think he thinks that?

He said it last night. I really think he thinks that. He said it last night. It's literally a speech, which is, would you want poor people in charge of the economy, which is the argument for having the head of Goldman Sachs in charge of the economy. But yet, what is a poor person? How is he defining it? Is he defining it as an idiot failure or someone who hasn't decided to milk this world for as much money as they can get out of it.

Some people are happy to make a comfortable living and try to be giving to other people, and they can be very helpful being part of our government. You don't have to be the head of Goldman Sachs to be someone who can change people's lives for the better. He thinks you just get the head of Exxon, the head of Goldman Sachs, but sometimes you don't want the head of Exxon. You want someone that's thought about international relations their entire lives. And maybe they've always made $200,000 a year. Okay, that's not poor. It depends on how you define poor.

Exactly, yes, and how he defines poor. Yeah, I mean, when you say you don't want a poor person running the economy, I think one argument for that would be you don't want a poor person running the economy, I think one argument for that would be you don't want anybody who wants radical redistribution of wealth. One argument rather would be someone who says, like, what we need to do is we need to figure out who the richest people in the world that own 90% of the money and then just take that money and distribute it to everyone else. Like, there's some pretty radical arguments from poor people.

I don't think he's saying that. I think, I think he equates poor with idiot. He wasn't saying, I don't want the, you know, a Bernie Sanders type. He was saying, I want, he considers like the head of Goldman Sachs to be the smartest man in the world where there are people who, who don't seek to make that much money, who are very smart and certainly capable of doing things. I think he sees people who are not the heads of industry as being incapable of being in charge of aspects of the government. Right, because that's his world.

That's his world. Because his world is the world of super rich people. And if you're not a super rich person, you're a loser. Well, that's the thing. It's all a winner-loser economy, which I find fascinating because he is basically calling most of the world a loser. Well, that's the thing. It's all a winner-loser economy, which I find fascinating because he is basically calling most of the world a loser in his world. And so, yeah, you could debate. I mean, I always think most people don't even understand most of what they talk about with politics.

Like when you talk about wealth redistribution, that a lot of people have theories, but they actually don't know anything about, they have no information. No one's read a book about it and has – Very few people. Very few. I mean literally –

Less than 1%. Less than 1%. Who are arguing about it on a regular basis. They've seen a few clips on Fox News. Yes. And they have this idea in their head of what it is. Exactly. And I think that's what's wrong with our country is no one knows anything about anything on either side.

Like people don't know, you know, deeply about the environment. There's very few people who sit down and read the study. Very few people right now are going to read that health care bill that is before the Senate. Right. Like how many people do you think, what percentage of the country think is going to sit down and read any part of it? Less than one-tenth of one percent, if you're lucky. And it will destroy their lives if they get sick and they don't have coverage. And who knows?

Maybe it's perfect and we don't understand it. But people won't bother to know anything about it. Well, it's like global warming. You talk to the average person on the right or the average person on the left about global warming, and you will see, like, it's really strange how you see these ideologically driven ideas that they have in their head about what global warming is, what causes it. And you can almost guess based on their reaction to it, whether they're a Republican or whether they're liberal.

Yes. And people, you know, obviously everyone talks about this, but people have chosen a side. And so now anything that that side does, people are okay with it. Yeah. And so suddenly we're so soft on Russia. And then all these, you know, being a Republican used to be so about the evil empire. And on a dime, it's like, people like Russia. Well, look what they did with WikiLeaks.

Everyone's turned on WikiLeaks. WikiLeaks used to be the champion of information. These are the people that are trying to let you know all the shit that's going on behind the scenes We're finding out all these secret emails. We're sharing them with the world where we have a media dump. We're dumping everything now It's WikiLeaks is Putin's puppet and WikiLeaks is working for Putin the left is turned on with yes It's quite fascinating. Well both sides will switch based on what serves them in the moment. Yeah, but it's dark, man. It's really weird when you see it so obvious and it's so flippant.

There's not a lot of thought put into this. You're talking about someone like Julian Assange. I'm not a giant Julian Assange fan as a human being, but I think what he's done is pretty goddamn courageous, and he's taken a huge hit for it. I mean, he's been stuck in this embassy in London forever. If he leaves, he will immediately be arrested, and who knows what's going to happen to him if that happens.

And this guy is still out there trying to distribute information. Well, it's about is he selective. You know, if a guy like that is just, I mean, obviously the issues are, is he putting people's lives at risk with mega dumps, which reveal sources and things like that. But also is he manipulated to release things to serve different political groups? Is he doing it on purpose in one way or the other? Where's the stuff on the Republicans?

If we had all the emails of the Republicans planning the Trump campaign, we'd have a whole other story to tell. Now, is it impossible to get their emails? Do they just have the best computers in the world and there's no way to get their emails? It depends on what the story is. They believe,

it's so hard to figure out what happened here, but that Seth Rich guy, according to Kim.com and according to Julian Assange, he leaked, he was a Bernie Sanders supporter. He worked for the DNC. He leaked some of the information that showed that the DNC was colluding. What they were trying to do was,

they were conspiring to keep Bernie Sanders from winning the primary. And it proved to be true that they actually did do that. And Julian Assange was saying after that guy got shot that somehow or another he was alluding to that if you work with us, there are consequences. So you had someone who was a renegade inside the DNC who released that dump. You don't have anybody like that on the Republican side. It doesn't mean that the WikiLeaks is corrupt. It just means that no one on the Republican side has done that. Only one guy, according to them, I don't know if it's true. Some people say Russia did it, but according to Julian Assange and according to Kim.com, who was apparently somehow

or another involved, at least part of it had to do with this Seth Rich guy. That doesn't mean that they're trying to exclusively release stuff that makes Democrats look bad. It just means no one's done it on the Republican side. Just because the information doesn't exist doesn't mean there's some sort of collusion. Well, that's, I guess, the mystery of it. I don't really know anything about the Seth Rich case. What is that? Because I know people are mad about it.

He's the guy that was, he worked for the DNC and he was murdered outside of his apartment at four o'clock in the morning. They said it was a robbery, but there's a giant conspiracy theory to attach to it. But I'm just going to relay the facts. His wallet was left. His phone was left. His watch was left. His valuables that he might have been

robbed of, his money, all that stuff was there. So he was just murdered. And they never found who killed him. And then immediately Julian Assange was alluding to the idea that this guy was helping them and that he was murdered because of that. And that has been hotly contested. And of course, the Fox News narrative has like Sean Hannity has made a big deal out of it saying he said we're gonna get to The bottom of this ladies and gentlemen, which makes me more suspicious. That's not true

But it is a possibility that he was one of the people that was releasing information I would imagine if you worked for the DNC Especially if you were a Bernie Sanders supporter and you saw what they were doing, what they were doing is essentially they were hijacking the democratic process from inside, from the democratic party. And if you were a Bernie Sanders supporter, it would be horrifying. It would really piss you off. And especially if you're someone who's idealistic, you've got this idea of like what the future could be under Bernie Sanders, and you realize your own party is fucking him in the ass. And so I don't know how much he released,

or if he released, or if he was only one part of it, or Russia was a part of it as well, and hacking into the DNC. But the bottom line at the end of the day is it exposed corruption. I mean, that's really what it was. There's absolute clear corruption in the DNC. And everybody got away with it. The woman who was in charge, she went and left and went immediately to work for Hillary's campaign. And, you know, it wasn't good stuff. It was all bad, no matter what,

no matter who released it. It just showed you how gross the system is. Yeah, to the core. Yeah. All the way around. On both sides. Because I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. I should be.

Why should you be? I guess that there's always more going on than we think. But I also think that most people are too dumb to not get caught almost every single time. Yeah, you say that. But there's a lot of shit that happens where people do get caught eventually. And you realize, oh, how long were you guys running this? What's your favorite conspiracy theory that turned out to be true?

It's hard to say whether it turned out to be true, but JFK is the biggest one. And where did you land on that? I landed on that. It's very possible, very possible that Lee Harvey Oswald was involved. It's very possible that other people were involved, too. Lee Harvey Oswald was involved. It's very possible that other people were involved too. It's very possible that he shot at Kennedy and other people shot at Kennedy at the same time. And that he was a patsy and he was put up.

He was obviously involved in a lot of intelligence agency shenanigans. He went to Russia. He married a Russian woman. Came back to the United States. He had been involved in all sorts of communist propaganda shit. He was definitely not like an above ground guy. He was a shady dude. And it's entirely possible that he was one person out of a plot to kill the president and they put it all on him and they had Jack Ruby shoot him. But everybody goes black and white on that. You either go Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone or you go he was innocent and the CIA had him assassinated because he was trying to get rid of the CIA, which he was.

I mean, Kennedy was trying to pull us out of Vietnam, trying to get rid of the CIA. He was trying to get rid of the Federal Reserve. There's a lot of like super controversial ideas that kennedy was trying to push forward and someone killed him i always go to the simple thing which is why would jack ruby shoot him right yeah because a lot of people say oh he was just a patriot who got mad and happened to be there but i which maybe makes perfect sense but if he was told to do it it's such a suicide end up in jail for the rest of your life mission yeah it doesn't to me it falls things like that fall apart there that's

what's so funny but it's also possible they told him listen just shoot him we'll get you off we'll we'll we'll find some sort of a way like or they might have had something horrible on him jack ruby was clearly embedded in the mob. The mob was angry at Kennedy because they helped Kennedy win. They helped him win Illinois. You know, I mean, they helped him become the president. And there was absolute evidence that they were mad at him once he became president, because then he started doing things that were against their interests. There was a lot of people pissed off at Kennedy. That's what's funny about the current Russia scandal, because it's a similar thing where there's just so much going on. I keep saying to people, you're not hearing this defense from all

the Trump people. Well, we met with Peru eight times. We met with the English people. They're just not having those meetings. There's not all those connections with any other country but Russia. Not only that, this whole thing about Flynn and that the intelligence're very convinced that there was evidence against Flynn and that the Trump administration knew this and they were still entertaining talks with them. They're still bringing him on board. And what's fascinating is this world of international lobbyists like Paul Manafort. What are they doing? Did you see this thing where Paul Manafort's kids, someone hacked their phones and they

had all these texts where they were talking about how horrible their dad was and how he's responsible for people getting killed. Oh, no. And there seemed, and who knows if any of that's true,

but there's an entire world of Americans going overseas and being involved in dirty politics and the work of governments like the Ukraine that we don't have any clue about what that is. Yeah, it's one of the last frontiers for really diabolical shit. You know, like Russia is one of the last like what he had, what he is, what Putin stands for is like one of the last brutal military dictators that's kind of in a costume. Yes. He's in a costume as the president of Russia. But we all know, like, he murders people that oppose him.

He murders journalists. He murders political candidates that are running against him. He's a terrifying guy. What do you think it means that Trump just loves him? It's not good. He just, he admires, I think he admires the take no shit guy. Yeah, I think he does. And I think there's also the possibility that he feels that what Putin stands for is like

he's this powerful superpower and it's better to be friends with him than it is to be enemies. Let's just cozy up. Hey, I wish I could do a lot of the shit you do. A lot of people talk shit about me on Twitter. I wish I could have him killed. I mean, it's entirely possible that he thinks along those lines. Because I think it's probably from decades of Trump dealing with the mob in New York and Atlantic City.

And he probably developed a point of view about how you deal with evil people. Yeah. And how you have to make deals and how- Be friends with them. I think a lot of rich people think, everyone doesn't understand this is how the world works. This is how the sausage gets made. Ooh. Yeah.

And that's why they do crazy stuff, because they just go, everyone else is naive. Yeah. And just get me in a room with Putin. Get me a back channel. We'll figure it out. Like right. The back channel with Kushner. It's like sitting down with a mob, figuring out your price for cement. That's what he thinks the Putin back channel is like. We'll figure it out. We'll come up with. And I think it seems like Trump likes the idea of that what you present is a lie and what you do in private is figuring out solutions and that that's how the world works. Right. That it's all full of shit. Yeah. And that that is the way you get away with everything. That's how the world works. That's the justification. Hey, it's how the world works.

That's the justification. Hey, that's how the world works. Which is so different than Bush, who was religious and had this thought, we are going to go to other countries. We're going to take down these leaders and they are going to find freedom. And we're all going to change for the positive when they don't have these dictators. Trump is an old school guy who's like, you need the dictators to keep all these assholes in line. Yeah, but meanwhile, he's kind of right. I mean, look what happens when you take the dictators out.

You create this power vacuum and the places are way more chaotic. Look at Libya, right? It's a failed state now. He got rid of Gaddafi. Everybody's happy. Hillary Clinton was on TV. They did an interview with her where she's cheering. She's like laughing about, we came, we saw, he saw he died. Ha ha ha. Do you see that? The off the air thing? I think that's what makes the world so impossible to manage right now, which is, you know, it's like we tried this, you know, this let's let's make these people a democracy but you

can't force people to want a democracy also they're conditioned to being in a dictatorship they've lived that way their whole life and there's all these other people when you get rid of Gaddafi it doesn't mean he's the only piece of shit there yeah there's a million other pieces of shit that are wondering how they get to that guy's position. And he's keeping them down and murdering people and trying to keep. And so their entire life, that's the paradigm they've operated under. They've watched this happen. They've seen this one central, brutal, murderous figure control everyone else. And when that's gone, it's not all kumbaya all of a sudden.

It creates this power vacuum. And then everybody's clamoring to see who takes that guy's spot and now you have isis steps in and libya is just straight chaos and there's seems to be no solution to almost no solution right because there's a there's a massive religious tribal war happening where if we if we didn't exist they were they would just be fighting each other right and that's what happened that's what we were warned about with Iraq yeah like people that didn't understand Iraq including Bush did not understand if you take Saddam Hussein out of the picture who's kind of secular what you're left with is this Sunni Shia civil war and you're gonna

have this crazy situation with his two different sects of Islam are gonna kill each other no one saw that coming. Well, you know who did see that coming? Janine Garofalo. Did she? Yeah, because I remember watching her on CNN and there was a massive protest against going into Iraq before we went to war. And she said, this is what's going to happen if we go there.

And she laid that out. Well, she's a Noam Chomsky fan. Yeah. She said, these people are going to attack each other. We're going to create a mess. happen if we go there and she laid that out well she's a noam chomsky fan yeah she said these people are going to attack each other we're going to create a mess that is going to be we're going to open a pandora's box and there are no weapons of mass destruction and we should wait and we don't have enough information and she really took a beating uh for being a in strong opposition to invading Iraq.

And every single thing that she said would happen in the next 10 years happened. And she wasn't the only person. There were plenty of people. I remember when 9-11 happened, Norman Mailer was on Charlie Rose that week. And he said, this is exactly what's going to happen. And he explained the wars that would happen,

where they would happen. And then he said, and this is what's going to happen. And he explained the wars that would happen, where they would happen. And then he said, and this is what's going to happen as a result of those wars, and laid out the mess that was created. And he said, you'll see, we do not have the strength to not take these steps. I should clarify, I don't know if Janine's really a Noam Chomsky fan,

but I know Chomsky was saying that, he was pretty adamant about that, like very early on. I just watched the Chomsky documentary on Netflix. He's an interesting guy. Yeah, and it was fascinating, and it had one simple idea, which also I think a lot of people don't realize, which

is just that our country, how it's set up, is meant to protect people from the people with money, from the landowners, as it was more back then. And the basic theory is that the people with the wealth and corporations are not served by democracy. If democracy is functioning, it is not in the favor of the wealthy or corporate interests. And so as a result, they always have to be against democracy. Because if Republicans don't have voter suppression, then everything is going to change in favor of what the population wants to do. So that there'll always be incentives for having less people vote and to making democracy

not function the way that it should. Because clearly you could have voter motor ID where when you get your driver's license, you're registered for the whole country. You could have everyone in the country vote by mail. You can have everyone vote by computer. You can make it so you would have 80, 90% of people voting, but that goes against corporate interests. And so they fight to say there's all these fake votes when there isn't. And so that protects corporate interests. And it's a really interesting documentary that just came up, I guess, in the last year. What's it called? Oh, we're about to find out.

See, I like that the computer is searching as we speak. There's a lot of people that are resisting the idea of people voting online. But we bank online. It's ridiculous. Of course you'd be able to vote. Well, we certainly could get more people voting online. But we bank online. It's ridiculous. Of course you'd be able to vote. Well, we certainly could get more people voting. It's fascinating that there's other countries like Russia trying to get into that.

Oh, Requiem for the American Dream. Yeah, it's worth seeing. I mean, I don't really, some of these things I don't have the strongest opinions on because it's very complicated. And it's like what you you just you never know what new mess you're creating i was talking to this actor right um who does a lot of charity work around the world very famous actor and he said you know i was working uh on this project to dig wells in a community in africa

and then we dug the wells and it was incredible for this community and then the neighboring community came and murdered everybody for the wells he goes that's what it's like trying to save people and to help people in the world there's always something that results that you did not anticipate that makes it even more complicated yeah And I feel it's that way with most issues. You think it's this, but you've set off that. And it takes... Where I come down is you need an incredibly intelligent person to be in the middle of making these choices.

And just generally with Trump, I don't think he's that smart. And I think that he is very, you know, a very self-involved narcissistic person and we can debate uh choices but it doesn't seem like the like the person is the depth to make these calls well i don't think anybody really is qualified to run 350 million people i just think it's a ridiculous proposition, but I think you're definitely right. Also, he sets the tone for the mindset of the country. I mean, it really is. We have this alpha male chimpanzee thing going on where the one, like Obama, love him or hate him,

was a very articulate, really well-spoken, calm and measured guy. And I think that's very good for America, to have this guy who's smarter than anybody you know, and he's running the country. You feel like, okay, well, this guy is obviously, look, he hardly ever stutters. He knows what he's talking about. And very moderate. I mean, when you get down to it,

what I find interesting is Obama was so moderate. After the banking issues, he didn't go after the bankers. He didn't send anyone to jail. He propped up those businesses. So the fact that the banks so want to get rid of him, it makes me go, how much money is enough? This guy's still basically on your side. Hillary is basically still on your side. They were mad when their bonuses were minimalized.

Remember that? Exactly. After the collapse. They got billions of dollars in bail money, and they still wanted their bonuses. I have a contract. My contract says I got a bonus. They're just thinking about their house and their yacht. People got bonuses even though the economy collapsed, even though the economy collapsed

as a direct result of the industry that they were involved in and the businesses they were running, they still got bonuses. It's really crazy. And what's interesting is that I guess most people, they don't connect that and they're not furious. Like right now, they're trying to get rid of the Consumer Protection Bureau that keeps an eye on the banks. They're trying to defang them and you would think that people who want their guns would also say but i would like consumer protection so you don't screw me on my credit card right but for some reason because it doesn't align it with their team exactly they don't care about the issues that are that would protect them isn't

that super dangerous to have a right and a left i mean it's just because you always Because you always, you go for independent candidates a lot, right? You're looking for a third party. And what prevents there from being a logical third party? Well, I think we had it with Ross Perot, right? I think Ross Perot was a logical third party, and it became very dangerous for people. And that's one of the reasons why the commission for presidential debates changed the threshold. Like back then you needed 5% in the primary in order to be included in the debates. You put Ross Perot in the debate as an independent and extremely wealthy man who understands a lot about tax codes, understands a lot about foreign relations, and he became a huge problem and most likely cost Herbert Walker Bush his second term, right?

Yes. And that's why Clinton became president in the first place. And the threshold is what now to get in those debates? Well, I mean, Bernie Sanders is kind of an independent, right? I mean, it's obviously that his party's not on his side. We proved that with the DNC leaks, that they're conspiring against him, his actual own party. Which is the same as changing the thresholds of the third party candidate can't be in the debates, right? Right.

It's just another version of that. Exactly. Yeah. It's another version of that. Well, then you find out the commission for presidential debates is it's not even a national thing. It's like a privately funded thing. It's a private company. Like they can choose like how they like what like, oh, let's make it 15%.

You have to get 15%. And then they can just change it. Like, that guy was a problem. That guy was a pain in the ass. Let's change the threshold. Yeah, what could go wrong? Yeah. Are you – I mean, there are people who feel like left and right are the same thing when you really get down to it or they're protecting the same interests in some way

are you a believer in that or or not i think that the most of the people that are on the left and most of the people on the right aren't even really thinking about whatever their party stands for they are just like you said they're sticking with the team whether it's the left team or the right team i think um they i think radical ideologies whether it's the left team or the right team i think um they i think radical ideologies whether it's on the left or the right they share a lot of common traits and one of the things they share is this complete lack of objectivity lack of objectivity and lack of introspective thought in terms of like what their party's actually doing what it means to be a liberal what it means to be progressive what it means to be republican what it means to be a liberal what it means to be progressive what it means to be Republican what it means to be conservative you just get into this

groove like this is what we do fuck global warming it's not real you know and then fuck this and you can't be racist against a white person like you people have these ridiculous ideas on the left and on the right they just dig their heels into the sand they don't even think about and they just go with it because that's what the party says and it's just a game yeah because after the election i called a lot of politicians and a bunch of journalists was just trying to get a sense of what's going on how could i get involved what was there to do and it was really dispiriting it was all reactive everyone was like well we have to see what they do to decide how to react and i was like so you were just super upset that trump

won yeah i could see what was about to happen and everything i was like... So you were just super upset that Trump won? Yeah, I could see what was about to happen, and everything I was concerned about did happen. But they basically all said, well, you have to let him do his thing to then react and then have the population react to what he did. Did you have any concerns at all about Hillary? Well, I think it reminded me a little bit of... I think it reminded me a little bit of, I mean, I'm aware of what those issues are, but I do think, you know, there are large choices that just affect millions and hundreds of millions of people. Like, for instance, when a guy like Donald Trump says, we're not going to give money to any aid service around the world that says anything about abortion. Forget giving out abortions. If they hand out a pamphlet and it says that's an option, they don't get money.

So if you're a country in Africa and there's only one aid service that feeds starving people, but you also hand out a pamphlet on abortion, you don't get any of the money anymore. No, I agree. Trump's fucked up. And a lot of the things he does are fucked up but did you have any problems at all with hillary like did you i've had a big issue that she does not seem to understand uh certain issues like the speech getting paid for the speeches right that that her blind spot and she has revealed to still have it after the election that like uh why did i go there because i got paid uh you know and i guess they've made you know over 100 million dollars giving speeches bill and hillary clinton

which on one level you go yeah you know people don't understand i'm gonna go do a a stand-up corporate gig and it's crazy money there's a crazy corporate speech money floating out yeah but wait a minute you can't no no i'm not defending it yet i'm just saying she has a blind spot to what to the potential for corruption that people see in that and that she when you're when you're getting i mean one article said it was like 150 billion dollars between the two of them over like 10 years or so. The fact that she doesn't even have a good game to defend it, that you can't go up against Trump and say he's corrupt while you're getting that much money from corporate interests. Like she never even saw how offensive it was that it's the kind of thing that Bernie Sanders doesn't do. So people go, well, at least he's not lining his pockets with that money. Hillary's basically saying,

I line my pockets with that money, but I still have my own opinions. And the blind spot, at least to the outrage of it, is something that threw me me, but ultimately the main choices that she wanted to make on a lot of issues are so much more in line with what I believe than Trump that although not a perfect candidate, you know, Trump is doing, you know, he's, he's trying to get this healthcare thing through and doesn't seem that concerned about the amount of people that get kicked off. So I, I, I guess that there are certain things I sucked up about it. I didn't have a core thing that she's like a terrible person, but I think it's pretty hard to get me to that place with people.

I always need a little bit more proof of that. I think she represents someone who's dishonest though. And that's a real problem when you have a leader of this incredible country and someone who's clearly dishonest and it's been dishonest for a long time like when they talked to her about the emails every interview she gave about it she would give varying responses a lot of more dishonest a lot of it was not based on facts when she compared what she said comey said to her during the investigation versus what comey was saying publicly there were totally different things.

Oh, I totally understand. And I think that there's a lot of politics that's really bad and really dirty. And I don't know enough on each specific thing to have a position on each thing that she said. But I do feel like there are people who are playing the game with service in mind, and maybe they're getting dirty or making mistakes with service in mind. And then there are people like Trump that I really don't understand why he's there. And his general philosophy

is let the smart, rich people get richer and something nice might happen for you that he's so dishonest on a level that you can't compare to Hillary. It's just so, I mean, he admits that he's a liar. No, I'm fully with you on this. But I think that whenever people criticize Trump or whenever the people talk about Hillary, rather, one of the first things they do is say Trump is worse.

Instead of like talking about how weird, like, she's such a non-ideal candidate. Like she was such a terrible candidate she didn't believe in gay marriage until 2013 i mean 2013 she was publicly stating that gay marriage should be it should not be legal that a marriage a legal marriage should be between a man and a woman and clearly for only political reasons like she obviously had no issue with it at all and i agree with you i feel like there is a part of politics where people, you know, like say my position was evolving on that. When, no, your position wasn't evolving. You just weren't fighting for what you actually believe.

And Obama took a while to make big moves on that. Right. But I still think at core people like that are trying to figure out the system to help people. And I can't say I understand what Trump is in this for other than to be considered the greatest winner of all time. Yeah, I think that's probably exactly it. I don't think he really wanted to be president. I think he was doing it to sort of boost his brand. And along the way, he lost his television show.

When he was doing all that build that wall shit and running, you know, the wall just got 10 feet higher. And NBC was like, fuck you, man, we're canceling your show. And when they did that, I think he was like, oh, yeah, well, I'm really going to be fucking president now. And he kept going and going and going. And then he won. I mean, it seems to me like the whole thing was started almost as a publicity campaign, like a fun thing. What if his people said that? There was a woman in publicity for him who left. She's the only person I know who left the campaign for this reason.

I forgot her name, but it was very public. She said it publicly, that when it started, the plan was to come in second, to help the brand, to get some fame, to make some statements about what he believes with no belief that it was possible that he would do better than second in the Republican primaries. And then the woman said, as it became clear that they had a really good shot of winning, she said, oh, I wasn't in it for this. And what I find fascinating to watch is Trump slowly getting comfortable with power as he thinks he's figuring it out is interesting. Like, I mean, even the Jared Kushner thing is kind of hilarious. You have this son-in-law. So now you have a blind spot that anyone in the world thinks it's weird that you give your son-in-law, a real estate developer, so much power.

And he doesn't care at all because he doesn't trust anybody except like four people. So he's got to give them all the power. But he puts him in charge of fixing everything wrong with the infrastructure of government and the Middle East and two or three other things. And Trump doesn't understand how insane that appears and also how each task is impossible. how insane that appears, and also how each task is impossible. Like, this is my son-in-law.

He's going to fix government and the Middle East. The type of guy that doesn't realize, well, maybe there's one person for each of those jobs. That's where I just go, oh, he's full out crazy. Because who would even do that to their son-in-law? Maybe his son-in-law is a pain in the ass he's like this fucking kid thinks he could do things all right i'll give you the worst job ever go fix government go fix the middle east i got it i'm gonna prove my worth to you sir and he's sitting there with his ray-ban sunglasses and his preppy outfit i mean

it you know it's become so comical. You know, it's a fascinating thing because it's both terrifying and comical. Like, if this was a movie, it's too broad and you wouldn't believe it. Right. You would just go, too much is happening in every scene, too many crazy thoughts. And what I guess, I guess what I wonder, maybe you have an opinion about this. There are people who say, you know, it is the destruction of truth when you just make these lies up all day long, that you change the definition of truth or even people's ability to decide what they think is the truth. a philosophy that someone like Bannon is executing in the White House or something that happens randomly and is organic out of them? That's a real good question. I mean,

there's always the concept absolute power corrupts absolutely. And knowing that you're in some sort of a competition, knowing that there's people trying to knock you down, and you're in this position of power, and you're shoring up your defenses. I think there's a lot of weird stuff that goes on whenever you're the winning team, and you realize you're being attacked at all angles by this other team. And then you've got this guy who's the head guy who's a fucking maniac. He's got fake hair. He puts a spray tan on every day. He's out there.

His eyes are white. No one tells him. His face is orange. He's saying insane shit. He contradicts himself all the time. He lies all the time about numbers. He's always bragging about how well his ratings are and how shows do really well because everybody knows he watches the show. It's crazy stuff that you just don't expect from someone who's in the position of president of the United States. I think almost all bets are off at this point. That's the one thing that I find promising about this, that people are so upset by how fucked up this is that they're going to get politically active, and that they're going to realize there's some real holes in the system.

The FBI, the president shouldn't just be able to fire the head of the FBI because you don't like the investigation. That's insane. And Sessions recused himself, but he can fire the guy investigating himself. Insane. It's all insane. But I guess what my fear would be is that it just swings back the other way like you could just swing left right left right but aren't any institutional protections ever put in place because it just swings back and forth like for instance say like we don't you know i'm not an expert in health care

but let's assume it's just a shit storm, right? And in a year or two, whatever, millions of people are losing their health care. And every day you're just hearing about hundreds of people who have cancer who can't pay for their medicine. What happens in this country? Do people get mad at the Republicans? Do they vote them out? Or to somehow not enough sick people, there's not enough sick people to make the change? I think there's so many issues there's so many in issues that like where do you draw the line do you draw the line at them taking the teeth

out of the epa which is what they've done the environmental protection agency is fucked now yeah i mean they're removing the satellites that track global warming they're they're they're stopping funding for all these different initiatives and all these different programs and all these different studies they're trying to figure out what the fuck is going on at the planet. They're like, stop all that. What we really need is Enron and Exxon and all these different companies, big conglomerates, big corporations. We need to drill.

We need to drill. We need to frack. We need to go over where Alaska and in the Antarctica. Get in that ground. Pull that oil out. And that's scary. And then you hear the health care shit well well that's scary too and then you hear the russian shit well that's fucking scary north korea oh that's scary there's so many different things to be scared about i don't think people who don't have cancer don't

have diseases are really considering all this health care stuff I think it's one of those things that happens once you have a health issue then you realize how fuck the system is and Especially if you don't have the money to take care of it You're like wow like our medical system in this country is not it's not the best we have the best doctors We certainly have the best surgeons and we have some pretty amazing innovative medicine But when it comes to the the system itself for, when you find out how much people have to pay when they go to the doctor and how about you, you have insurance. Well, your insurance only covers so much. You still have to pay more. Sure. My mom died of ovarian cancer and I just remember going

through those bills and there was a lot of experimental medicine that potentially could save her. And you didn't know if insurance would say this is the type of approach that they're willing to pay for. And anything you needed to do, you'd have to prove you needed it. Someone says you needed a new CAT scan and you've had two that year. You might have to go to war to say why you need it now. Number crunchers. I'm just always fascinated that it doesn't line up for people. Like, say you love the outdoors and you love hunting.

Well, don't you love the environment? Right. And so why are you not really pissed? Or Trump's going to build a wall and he's going to take a lot of people's land away to build the wall. Well, I thought that was the big issue for all these militia groups. Don't mess with our land. Yeah.

And so. Is that what he's going to do? He's going to take land away to build the wall? The only way to build the wall in a lot of places. A lot of private land. I mean, it's a it's a that's a jagged path when you're building that wall. And you have to you know, you have to take away a lot of people's land to pull that off. So that's what scares me the most about America

is there's an illogic to people's opinions. I think there's too many variables. I think there's too many things for people to consider. And I think people work all day and then they have hobbies and families and things they enjoy doing and they don't have the time to really sit. I mean, each one of those issues would require a full-time job all day long, investigating it, debating it, discussing it,

whether it's Flynn's ties to Russia or what Session knows and how many times did he speak to the Russians or what did Jared Kushner actually do in the Middle East? Like, what is he doing in the overall? Each one of those is a full-time job. What is he saying to Netanyahu alone in the room? How do they let him do that? He looks like such a dork. Did you see the pictures of him with the bulletproof vest on overseas, and he's hanging around

with the actual soldiers, and he's sitting there with his Ray-Bans on? And his masking tape with his name magic-markered on it. And I don't know. It's a comedy I have to say as a creative person who's going to be at the Wilbur when are you at the Wilbur this is called the mid show

plug everybody the Wilbur in Boston just added a late show for charity for the after school programs for Boston Arts July 24th the Wilbur dot com one of my favorite theaters in the world. And the best crowds. Amazing.

It's incredible and it feels like you're in a club. There's a thousand people in there, but they're all in three tiers. And so it's very short. It's like three 300 seat comedy clubs jammed in there together. Yeah, it's the perfect layout for comedy. It really is. And then I'll be in Providence, Rhode Island at the Columbus Theater July 25th and at the Ridgefield Playhouse in Ridgefield, Connecticut July 23rd. And I'm taping my special in Montreal at the Just for Laughs Festival because they seem to be amused by me there.

Oh, that's an amazing place to do it. At the festival? At the festival, yeah. How many shows are you going to do? I'm doing five shows. I'm taping four of them. Oh, that's a good move. I like that. I like when I hear that. I hate when I hear someone taping one show. No, yeah. How many shows are you going to do? I'm doing five shows. I'm taping four of them. Oh, that's a good move. I like that.

I like when I hear that. I hate when I hear someone taping one show. No, no. I could panic and ruin one show. I could actually, if I did only two shows, I could panic the first show and then go, okay, now I only have one show to get it and panic again. Who are you doing your special for? For Netflix.

Oh, yeah. That's the way to go. It was my turn. Nice. And so I haven't done something like that since basically the HBO Young Comedian special in 1992 with

Ray Romano, the guy who got fired so you could have your career. No, I didn't. He got fired so somebody else could take it and then that guy fired and I took his. I don't know. Who was the in-between guy? Some guy was on the pilot. There was a guy on the pilot that was not Ray. Ray got fired and and I took his. I don't know. Who was the in-between guy? Some guy was on the pilot. There was a guy on the pilot that was not Ray. Ray got fired

and another guy took his spot and then that guy fired and I took that guy's spot. Well, Paul Sims is vicious. Vicious. He was going to get it done right. I was around a little bit in the news radio days

just as a friend of Paul's and Andy Dick's and that is a show that holds up and is really funny. Yeah, well, I was just happy that there was a buffer between me and Ray, because I love Ray. I would not have wanted to be the guy that takes Ray's job.

I think Ray is one of the first people to tell you he probably was not prepared as an actor at that exact moment. Well, it was the wrong gig for him. You know, Everybody Loves Raymond was the perfect gig. Let him write for himself and let him figure it all out and become obsessed with it. He's such a good guy, too. Oh, he's the best. Ray Romano is like one of the nicest people I've ever met.

And so good in our movie, The Big Sick. Honestly, the dream part, so funny, so real. I mean, it's the culmination of everything he's learned as an actor and a person. So I'm very excited about that. Remember when he was doing that TBS thing? He was doing like a drama for a while. Yeah, yeah, men of a certain age. A bunch of depressed dudes.

That's what I called it. A bunch of depressed dudes. I called it the Judd Apatow story. And yeah, he's so good. He was on Parenthood for a while. And I've gotten to spend a little time with him because of this movie. But it is funny that we were on the Young Comedian special in 1992. That is amazing.

And now you're back at it. And now I'm back doing it again. So you've done stand-up now for three years. Yeah, since 2014. Three years straight. And then how many years in were you like, I think I've got a special here? They asked me to do it a year ago, and I said, okay, give me one more year. That's very honest of you.

Well, you know, everybody's so good. I mean, I was performing the other night in the original room, and you were in the main room. And I could hear the place rocking from the stage of the original room. Maybe my crowd was too quiet that I could hear you. I could hear your laughs and you just talking loud. And so I always think, wow, people are so good right now. People are masters at this. And I can't be mediocre at it. I mean, I'm in the same business as

you and Maria Bamford and Louis CK and Hannibal and, and I have to be able to be proud of what I'm doing. So Joey Diaz and Bill Burr, this is a different time. There's so many murderers out there right now. Yeah. I mean, I was watching Burr. I did a Largo show that he was on and I was just watching him from the side of the stage and just his level of intensity is so, I mean, I was watching Burr. I did a Largo show that he was on. I was just watching him from the side of the stage. And just his level of intensity is so, you know, it's so professional. And I noticed it with you the other night, too, that you could get yourself in that state where you care so much and you're so passionate and it requires so much energy and focus to get to that place to perform with that passion it's just really impressive because like for me i can just get tired and start staring at my shoes i just get tired halfway through like oh i just felt a wave of like like after you eat a big meal and you just get tired like it just hits you eight minutes what i'm always trying to accomplish is trying to get out whatever i'm trying to talk about with the most power that I can.

Like the most, like what's the best way to do it? Is the best way to do it slow and calm and let people soak in the idea? Or is the best way to do it to be intense? What is like the most entertaining way that I would be engaging this material? Figure whatever that is and fuck with it and move it around and bring it up and bring it down. And that's one of the things where the store is such a great place to focus on that kind of stuff because there's so many killers and because the standards are so high that you

have to really, you really have to be on point. And it's packed. Every night. You go to the comic store, the main room, which used to just be desolate like four years ago. It's sold out like it's Vegas. Every night I walk in there, I'm like, I got some new jokes.

I'm like, how many new jokes can I do when this is a big, sold-out, excited crowd? We've changed the face of comedy in L.A. now. I mean, comedy in L.A. is a different thing now over the last few years. It's also funny how a place like the Comedy Store, you know, our friend Adam Egatt, who books it, just one guy with good taste booking the club well,

and suddenly everyone in town wants to run to that club again. Both comedians and the audience, because Adam does such a good job booking it. And opening up that back bar where you gave us a place where the public can't go and the comics can go and hang out, that was giant where there was a place

to chill and hang out. People were like, you'd be sitting there with Ron White, I'm on in five, see you boys. And he'd go out there and do a set

and then Diaz would come back and all these different people are hanging out there and you're like, wow, this place is like something special. They made changes.

They figured things out. They did things differently. I missed just hanging out with comics when I wasn't doing stand-up. I was like, I don't know anybody anymore. I literally don't know anybody. It's just the idea of being a part of that community. And it is a community of people that are really smart, really, really funny, and I think generally an incredibly supportive community to each other. Yes.

Yeah. Well, I think especially now there's so many opportunities. I don't think people feel like as starved. I think there was a famine mentality that was going on way back in the day when it was everybody competing for Tonight Show spots. And then every now and then someone got an HBO special and it was holy shit. There was not that an HBO special and that was holy shit there was not that many HBO specials but other than that you had to do talk shows and you had to do like a few minutes on a talk show or you know maybe you were like a Richard Jenny who thrived in that format

and you could do 30 tonight show things and then fill up arenas because of that but for most people it was a scratch and claw environment and people were fighting to try to get a sitcom and fighting to try to get movie roles and all these. There was not a lot. But now, because of the internet, because of YouTube, because of social media, and then Netflix, which was giant, there's so much opportunity. And the comedians have also found way more of an audience. There's way more audience out there. Because people realize like, oh, look, Sarah Silverman has a new Netflix special.

Oh, look, Jim Jefferies has a new Netflix special. Oh, look, Bill Burr has a new Netflix special and just keeps going and going and going and going. It's like, it's almost unstoppable. And I remember when I was a kid, there was nothing. It was just like Robert Klein would have a special every couple of years. Every now and then.

George Carlin every couple of years. They didn't give the hours to many people. And there were so many people that probably could have done a Netflix special back then. Sure. And they didn't have the audience. They never got the shot. And they just sort of stayed at a certain state in their career forever. This is an amazing, amazing time for it.

Yeah. And it's good. I mean, I watch people. I'm like, God damn. People are fucking great. I mean, I really watch. I'm like, God damn, that's... People are fucking great. I mean, I really, like, watch people. I was watching Ray Romano the other night. His act was just monstrous.

Yeah. He was so strong. Have you seen Andrew Santino at the store? Oh, yeah. Fuck, that guy's good. And great on that show. I'm gonna hang up here. Like, I mean, so good. It's, uh, it's exciting. I can't think about it too much, because sometimes I think,

if there's so many people, why do it? But I'm trying to make it very much about sometimes I think, if there's so many people, why do it? But I'm trying to make it very much about the audience and me and that, you know, because I make movies and do TV,

that my stand-up career really is just about getting to hang out with everybody and my relationship with that particular crowd that night. Like, I don't need it

to pay the rent, so I could do it from a very pure place because it's just about these interactions. That's great. You know, and so, and that frees me up to not be nervous. And then I could be a little more daring because it's not going to, going to sink me if anything goes wrong. Do you think that it enhances your ability to make movies? Does it enhance your perspective or sense of funny? I think that when you don't talk directly to the crowd, you get stale as to what people are thinking about. You know, I can tell, I don't know, just when I bring up certain topics, just what people's concerns are.

And it happens unconsciously. Oh, this is what people find funny these days. This is what people are freaking out about. This is what people are happy about. And when you don't do it, you're just alone in a room with your editor. You're just sitting in it with, you're sitting with one dude for two years.

And I think, I also think you're connecting to some, you know, whatever you're, you're the creativity of the universe because you're in spaces with a lot of people with a lot of other creative people and you're hooking into creativity on some level. I've always wondered how comedy writers who don't do stand-up can do it. I've always wondered, like, how do they know it's funny?

Like, how do they know what they're guessing? Well, it's weird to write jokes, make a movie, and then two years later find out if they're funny. That's horrible. That's why people say, oh, why do you have so much improv? years later find out if they're funny that's horrible that's why people say oh why do you have so much improv because i don't want to be in an editing room put in the joke i wrote realize it sucks and then go do we have any other jokes and the editor says no oh so i always want like i with any scene i always go well that's where the joke's supposed to be here's my favorite let's get eight more and then we'll move on I never think like when there's people like the Coen brothers

And it's verbatim you can't change a comma when they shoot it is that what it is with them Yeah, it's like a play and I respect it But I do not have the courage to assume When I hit editing that I am such a genius that I will not have fucked up any of this in the writing They have a weird kind of comedy, though. Their comedy is so quirky and fascinating. And I guess maybe it's just that purity of vision that they have in sticking to that script. And a lot of people do that.

I mean, Noah Baumbach does that. You can't change any of it. But I always think, I don't know, if an actor's on a set, Ray Romano's on the set of The Big Sick and he's talking about his feelings and he has the scene. If I go, you know, Michael Showalter directed that movie. Hey, let him do another one. Let's just let him change it. Just tell him to hit the same idea. Half the time he beats the joke.

Half the time. Yeah. If you have the right cast. Well, that was what sims did on uh news radio he let everybody just come up with better lines it was a big part of why the show worked so well it's like we all felt really invested in the creative process yeah and that's so rare and that's i remember shanley would do that on the larry sanders show they would rehearse for several days and in that rehearsal people were allowed to screw around.

And if something good came up, Gary would write it down. And Hartman was the funniest. Phil Hartman really was. You know, when you really make the list of the funniest people of all time, he's just so high up on that list. It was a remarkable thing.

I would go to tapings of that show and SNL tapings. And at one point i was talking about writing an hbo special with him and i don't know if there's ever been anyone more talented in more ways than him no he was brilliant he he really was incredibly disciplined too when i was on the set with him he was becoming a pilot and so he was uh in the middle of scenes he would be reading flight books and reading books on aviation and and writing notes and taking notes his he was so organized like his scripts

he would put them all in a binder he would take the script immediately he put three punch put it in the binder and he would have tabs for each of his scenes and each tab had a different color this is scene one scene two and he would have everything set up like that and have his lines highlighted, and he would practice them and have them down to like a razor sharp. Yeah. It was amazing. He was a really, really, really interesting guy.

Very unique. I don't think I've ever met anybody like him. Because he also came out of, he was a designer. Graphic artist. Yeah. Did album covers and stuff. And he said that he got Saturday Night Live, he was a designer. Graphic artist. Yeah. Did album covers and stuff. And he said that he got Saturday Night Live because he went in for the audition and he was retiring because his career hadn't worked out the way he wanted it to. And then someone said, do you want to go in for SNL?

And he was so ready to be done that he had an amazing audition because he assumed he wouldn't get it. And basically it was like, fuck this business. And then that's the moment when he was his purest funniest self and just got it oh interesting guy man he was um blackmailed while we were on the show and uh while we were on the show he and his wife actually had went to a strip club and this was like 1997, 97, 98, somewhere around there. So some asshole at a strip club got a video camera, brought in a video camera, and filmed. Like a fucking video camera back then. It was large.

You had to carry it. And he filmed Phil and his wife at a strip club laughing, just having a couple of drinks. And I think Phil got a lap dance and his wife got a lap dance. And then they left. And he, this guy, put a copy of this videotape in an envelope and nailed it to Phil's garage door. Oh, fuck. With a note saying. That's like Letterman's thing.

It was scary shit. Yeah. But it was different because Letterman's thing was someone he knew. And this was not a guy he knew. And this was a guy who found out where Phil lived and said, I'm going to get this to all of the advertisers that you do commercials with and all the people that you do films with, and I'm going to ruin your career unless you give me money.

Call me at this number. They kind of left his fucking number. So Phil calls the guy, records the thing and we did it in the room with me and he goes i'm gonna call the guy now i'm gonna call the guy now and we shut and he goes hey buddy what's going on listen i understand what you're saying but you gotta realize like i don't have as much money as you think i do and i mean this is coming i don't want the tape getting out but i mean you're making it out like it's a bigger deal than it is. And the guy was like, look, I'm telling you and this and that.

And the guy's like, look, I'm willing to work with you. Let's just come to a reasonable, reasonable number. So they come to this reasonable number and this whole time where he's doing this, he's recording this and he gets it to this private investigator guy. And then this asshole meets the private investigator thinking he's going to meet Phil and get paid. And this private investigator guy scares the going to meet Phil and get paid. And this private investigator guy scares the fucking shit out of him and threatens his life. And takes his wallet from him, takes photos of his address. And he basically says, don't ever contact him again or your life will radically change in a horrible way.

And the guy disappeared. But it was weird to be in the room with him. And Phil's like, close the door, close the door. I'm going to call him. He's like wiping his hands. That sounds like an Anthony Pelicano special. Exactly what we're talking about. Yeah.

That's exactly what we're talking about. That's Ray Donovan shit. Yeah. That's Ray Donovan shit. It was weird. It was weird to be there for that. To see like, and it's also to see like that someone would like try to weasel in on him phil was just such a nice guy just he knew this dude that was like a carpenter and the guy did some work with him the guy called him out his halt called him horrible sob story you know we're gonna lose our house and this and that i just you know just give me a

little bit of a loan and okay so ph Phil gives him like $25,000. Just gives this guy. And then the guy calls him three months later and he asks for another $30,000. And then Phil's like, what the fuck, man? He was just almost too nice. That's about how it usually goes with that. It is. You never lend someone money and then they go, you know what?

You solved all my problems. And now I'm fine and here's the money back. Did you ever lend anybody money? Oh, yeah, problems. And now I'm fine. And here's the money back. It just doesn't happen. Did you ever lend anybody money? Oh, yeah, yeah. Did anybody ever pay you back? Yes. I used to tell this story just because it's funny.

My friend Dave Rath, who manages Pete Holmes, at some point was like transitioning and starting his own management company and asked me for some money. Not much. But the only guy who ever paid me back and quickly yeah and it makes sense and it is a great man and is producing my Netflix special ha well that works but the only guy to ever do what he said he was gonna do yeah it's always these people that have dude once this happens and this is gonna happen I'm gonna be making this amount of money and don't worry about it it's all going to come.

But I just need a little right now. It never happens. Well, someone said the second people ask for money, they resent you. And so even if you give people money, they're mad that they had to ask and they kind of hate you because they had to ask you. Ooh, that's interesting. Which is certainly what you feel. Well, there's also the people that think that the way to make it is to get somebody else to get you through. Like you got to call on favors. You got to have connections.

You got to get your way through that way. That's the way to do it. Somebody gave you a break, man. You need to give me a break. Somebody gave you a break. It's just that mentality. It's so wrong oh yeah they were i mean one thing i'm proud of in my career is there really was i had no ends at all you know i just you know my parents got divorced they were both bankrupt i started

interviewing comedians for my high school radio station at some point i got jamie masada from the uh laugh factory who owns the Laugh Factory. He had a magazine in the 80s, and he printed an interview I did with David Brenner. And I think I did another one with Henny Youngman. Then when I moved here in 85, I tried to get spots at the Laugh Factory, and it was still hard to get up there. But I didn't know anybody. And the person who really hooked me up was Sammy Shore. Wow.

Sammy Shore started the comedy store. Then he got divorced and Mitzi took it over and made it the great place it is. But he started a comedy room in Marina Del Rey called Sammy's by the Shore in the back of a fish restaurant. And he let me book it. And in return, I was allowed to go on.

And maybe I got 40 bucks a week. And that's how I got stage time for the first year, when I didn't know what I was doing. I would book that club, which also gave me an excuse to call all the comics who I admired. And it's funny, like there's those people at a key moment open the door for you. But it's not because you knew them.

It's just because you're willing to put in all the work somehow. Right, right. That's interesting, man. Sammy's by the Shore. I never heard about that one. Do you remember the Valley Improv? They had one in the Hilton in Sherman Oaks. No, I wasn't around for that.

What year was that? It was like late 80s. I wasn't here for that. What year was that? It was like late 80s. I wasn't here until 94. Oh yeah. Late 80s. And this guy, Joe Drew, just the manager, great young guy. I don't know where he is. He used to say to me, Judd, come in, wait around. If someone doesn't show up, I'll put you up. And I was like 19 years old and I would wait there all night, every night, thrilled to talk to everyone. Cause that's what, right when Sandler moved to town and David Spade and, and Schneider. And that's when I first met everybody and that guy would put me on. And you know,

that's the funny thing about a career. It's two or three people who, who change everything for you. There's this woman, Mary Parent, who is one of the heads of Universal, and I sold her The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and she said, Judd, the second you hand in the script, I'm going to greenlight it. I so believe in this idea and you and Steve. And I literally faxed her

like page 90 to 108, and then she called and said, okay, start prepping. Fax. Yeah, faxed it isn't that crazy now joe here's my question for you okay let's let's talk my workout for a second let's talk my uh omega brain alpha brain alpha brain now pete holmes turned me on to the alpha brain, and oddly, it completely works. 100%.

And it's all based on science. I mean, we have double-blind placebo-controlled studies. It's not something we invented in terms of the actual nutrients and their response to human neurotransmitters. It's all been documented. People have known about nootropics for a long time now. And I always feel like I'm the perfect test case for a product like that because most days I go in a room with 11 writers

in the morning. I'm as tired and as foggy as you can be. I do not drink coffee. So I don't... You don't drink coffee at all? I just don't like it. So I just... The only coffee I like is ice blended mochas, which is all sugar.

So I avoid it. And when I started taking that, I would completely wake up and be sharp without some weird caffeine buzz or sick from it or whatever. And I would see it every day like, wow, I was funny as hell for the last two and a half hours and i did not start in that place so i'm fascinated by your general program like what you're doing all day with all this stuff like what's what's the current joe program well i'm something, you know, and in terms of like diet, you mean, or in terms of like exercise? What's the diet? What's the meditation?

What's the main tenets of your day? Well, my workout, I schedule every Sunday. I schedule everything that I'm going to do during the week. I say I have to do yoga two times this week. I have to lift weights three times this week. I have to run twice this week. And however I have to lift weights three times this week I have to run twice this week and However, I fit that in I fit that in but I owe those things Okay, so I have to get those things and the only exceptions are injuries and sickness

So those that that's the the schedule and then on top of that There's other things that I enjoy doing kickboxing jujitsu work those in when I can then other things that I enjoy doing kickboxing jujitsu work those in when I can then um diet the diet is pretty strict in terms of like no bread very few carbs um no sugar no bullshit like healthy food a lot of vegetables a lot of meat game meat mostly wild game and I take vitamin supplements every day I take multivitamins I take probiotics I take vitamin b12 and. I take multivitamins. I take probiotics. I take vitamin B12 and D and a lot of different things. I just do everything that I can to put my body and my brain in a good place so that I'm keeping my engine smooth. I'm changing my oil.

I'm changing my spark plugs. I'm making sure that it's operating. I mean, it's not going to be perfect, but I know that I've done my best to keep it working the best that it can. Who's the person that advises you on nutrition? Is there a guy? Is there a woman? Who taught you how to do it? How do you do it? Well, there's a ton of people that I've used as a resource. There's a woman that I have on the podcast on a regular basis. Her name is Dr. Rhonda Patrick, and she's probably the best resource. I sent her something the other day on some new, uh, some new study on saturated fats. Like whenever I, there's some sort of an issue,

there's a new study on cryotherapy or saunas. Like, uh, the saunas are incredibly effective. I don't know if you ever, so with the UV got one? So huge. With the UV rays or what is it? What is it called? Not ultra violent. Infrared. Infrared, thank you. Infrared, yes, yes. We just got one of those. Saunas are giant.

The raising of the body temperature like that and the heat shock proteins, incredibly beneficial to your body. There was a study that they put out recently that showed a 40% decrease in mortality from all causes due to people who take regular sauna. Like it just literally keeps your body healthier. Wow.

Having that massive exposure to heat and your body producing these heat shock proteins, it reduces inflammation. It helps in so many different areas for people. And just sit down in the hot room. It's really good for your body. Regular is how many times a week? For sauna sauna i think they were saying four times a week but i mean how hard is that man just force yourself to sit in it i mean if you have it at home in particular at your gym just go there and sit in that fucker for 15 minutes doesn't take long well i'm gonna have to get all this written out i'm gonna how about this i do everything you do we make that a special it's

the judd does joe's programs you have to build up oh yeah you have to i gotta bulk up i got well i may have already bulked up i mean build up like your your joints and all that stuff it's gotta get used to that kind of pounding yeah there's a lot a lot of shit is going to be happening if you want to do everything i do so i can't just do 12 pounds on a freeway. You don't want, I mean, it's not even, you're not going to want to do everything I do. Yes. Like I have a friend who runs ultra marathons, and I just started running recently within the last couple of months.

I'm not running a fucking ultra marathon. I'm not doing everything. Hey, I'll do everything you do. It would break. It would break my feet. It would break my knees. Yeah. You got to just build up.

You got to have time, too. Yes. There's something about when you run TV shows, it's all freaking day every day. So people say, when do you work out? I'm like, there's no time. Yeah. What am I going to wake up at 5 in the morning and put in two and a half hours? I got to drive my kids to school at 740.

That's one thing. You don't need two and a half hours. Yeah. You can get a great workout in 40 minutes, and that's all you need for the whole day. 100%. You really can, especially if you run. Like, I run hills, and I can get it done in a half an hour. Like, a fucking brutal workout, a two-mile brutal hill-climbing workout in a half hour.

I'm exhausted. You know, this idea of time. Like, how much time did you put in today? Like, you can work out in a bullshit manner for two hours and not get nearly as much done as you can for a half hour hard just running. Yeah. Or interval training. Yeah, yeah. Sprints and then relax, then sprints again.

But I just think being active and doing something on a daily basis, forcing your body to get used to the fact that it's going to constantly be working, constantly being under stress. Yes. And it gives you more energy. It's like you have more of a gas tank. You have more enthusiasm for things. That's the scary part about Trump. His theory on exercise is you only have so much energy per day and he thinks that exercise uses it up. And so he doesn't ever exercise.

That's got to come back at him at some point. Well, he's not fucking 70. How has it not come back at him at some point he's not he's fucking 70 i mean how was it i come back at him already but he also i mean he's he's not mitigating his stress that's part of it is your perspective enhancing for me the most important thing about i don't think maybe they're not the most important thing one of the best things about exercise is that it gives me a perspective a better a more enhanced perspective because I'm not coming at it from a stressful body. Like my body's not tense. So I can come at things in a calm way.

I've drained all the bullshit out of my body. That's interesting. Yeah. And are you doing meditation or what are you doing in that way? I have a sensory deprivation tank. Yeah. So I do most of my meditation in that. You do in altered states.

Where I climb in. Yeah. I climb in and I float. Yeah. I love that that's one of my favorite things you ever do it uh no i can imagine you must especially for you because you're working on things all the time like if you go in there with an idea like i'll go in there with a bit like i got this bit that i'm working on right now that's kind of complicated and uh sometimes i'll just be sitting there staring at the wall just thinking about this one bit because

i'm trying to figure out how to structure it. It's a super complicated bit. And I'll go in that tank and I'll just sit there for an hour. I'll just try to work out this bit, try to figure out if there are other angles to it, if there are other ways to come at it. The only confusing thing is when I have an idea in the tank and it seems like I got it, I got to get out of the tank. And I got to write things down. You need a special pad in the tank. I think I need a voice activated recorder. I think that's I got it. I got to get out of the tank. And then I got to write things down. No, you need a special pad in the tank. I think I need a voice-activated recorder.

I think that's a good idea. Yeah. I think that's what I need, where I can just talk. Yeah. OK, so I need the tank. You need a tank. I have the spa. You have a spa.

I need a hill to run on. Hills are good. I need more of my Onnit products. Do you lift weights at all? No. Good idea to do a little bit of something just to keep your body strong. It's like as you get older, your body atrophies, and there's just no way around it, especially if you're not using it. And the only way to keep it from atrophying is to make sure that you put it under stress.

You have to lift weights. That's the only way. It keeps your bone density. It keeps your tendon strength, your muscle strength. There's no other way. Otherwise, you just get injuries. People get back injuries and arm injuries, and shit just starts falling apart on you. See, I've had no injuries due to not doing anything.

That's how I've been protecting my body. But, yes, I do know that that's the thing to do. I remember I always heard about Clint Eastwood doing that. And I met Clint Eastwood when he was, like, 80. And I know he's, like, he lifts heavy weights. like 80 and I know he's like he lifts heavy weights that's his thing it's like heavy weights and he was like a truck at 80 yeah and so uh but I don't like uh lifting things I don't even like counting I don't even like counting hire a trainer yeah you know get someone to devise a program yeah have them come to you, work you out.

You don't have to do shit. You just show up, you know, like you could do it in your house. They show up at 6 a.m. or whenever it is. And they're like, come on, Judd, I got you for the next 45 minutes. And you're like, all right, here we go. It's tough when you hate that stuff. It really is tough. When you haven't, like, built your brain to love it.

I've been playing a lot of tennis lately as a way to wake up. But I do know that I need to do it. But, man, when you're of the mindset that when the trainer comes, you want to punch him in the face, it's a tough thing. And a lot of it is being a writer. Your day becomes about waking up and engaging your brain all day. And so you just look at writers and you eat Chinese food and engaging your brain all day. And so you just like look at writers and eat Chinese food and you're kicking stuff around. And it's like developing the wrong muscle your whole life,

or at least not only one muscle. And I know that I have to transition into that, but it is a tough one. I think it's beneficial to your writing though. It is, it 100% is. I write better after I do anything. And what I do do is I walk really fast around my neighborhood in circles for like 45 minutes every day. They say that you should do that after you write.

They say when you write, one of the things you should do is go over what you wrote by going on a walk. Because it's not enough where you're so worn out that you're occupied by the, like, it's not like you're running. Yes. Or you're exhausted. You're occupied by the activity. Because I feel like when I'm running hard, especially when I do my hill sprints, I'm not thinking about shit other than left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, don't fall down. Keep going. You're almost at the hill.

Almost at the top. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. I'm not thinking about anything else. But when I walk, I can think about all kinds of shit. So I walk my dog around the neighborhood a lot of times after I write. I just take him, we go for a walk.

Yeah, and that's like a walking meditation. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm trying to read a lot of, like, and you guys talk about it sometimes. I heard you talking about it with Russell Brand, just, you know, quantum physics and trying to figure out how to quiet my brain and to tune into what is left to do to not be crazy. And some of that is exercise. What is left to do to not be crazy. Exactly. Cause I'm such a, like a pop, I'm such a pop psychology junkie. Yeah. I read that stuff all day long, but lately I've been reading a little more like the Joe Dispenza. Is that his name?

Joe Dispenza? Yeah. But it's like a quantum physics theory that basically you get into a pattern of how you feel, and it's in your cells. If you're a depressed person, your cells are depressed. And if you get in a good mood, your cells try to get you back to depression because you've conditioned yourself to be in a certain mood all the time physically and it affects your whole body and that you can make a choice to change how you are physically by choosing to be in a certain mood and meditating about a certain mood and that you could change how your body reacts physically

so it doesn't want to keep you in the same mental state you're used to being in does that make any sense it does sort of i guess i'm always real cautious about what what causes depression and what makes people depressed and what you know i don't i don't suffer from depression so like whenever someone says you're depressed because of this i'm always like okay i don't, I don't suffer from depression. So like whenever someone says you're depressed because of this, I'm always like, Hmm, okay. I don't know how to address that because I don't know what, I know there's certain people that do have absolute chemical imbalances, but what does that chemical imbalance come from? Does it come from childhood trauma? Does it come from just some sort of a part of their body that's not functioning correctly, like a bad thyroid or a bad kidney?

Is the brain very similar? Is that the case? Or are they in a bad economic situation and a bad relationship with bad friends and a bad job? Is that what's causing depression? I think there's a host of variables. Yeah, you get in a pattern. You don't know why. I mean, your family, did your parents, did they stay together?

Yeah. But my stepmom, or my stepdad, rather, and my mom have been together since I was seven. Yeah. So you had the stable. Yes. Yeah. And I always think that's 90% of it. When you grow up in chaos, I think you get wired for a certain hypervigilance and a nervousness

and an anxiety because you think like more bad shit's coming yeah so if you had any kind of trauma as a kid i think you're wired to keep your eyes open a little wider which also lends itself to some kind of depression it could most certainly for me uh that hyper vigilance led itself to martial arts yeah and then it's also we moved around a lot so I was picked on a lot. So it was like, I was always the new kid. I was like, God, this fucking sucks.

You know, so that sort of led me to be wary of others and just, you know, internalize a lot of stuff. Sure. I think, that's what I did.

I just went in my room and watched the Mike Douglas show. And watched Merv Griffin. Did you know, you knew, so from the time you were 17, you were working at Eastside Comedy Club.

Yeah. You kind of knew you always wanted to be involved in comedy. Yeah. From the time I you knew, so from the time you were 17 you were working at Eastside Comedy Club. Yeah. You kind of knew you always wanted to be involved in comedy. Yeah, from the time I was 10. I was into the Marx Brothers first,

then like Cosby and George Carlin and I used to listen to Lenny Bruce records as a kid. I didn't understand them but I just heard that's the best person

and I always, I think I liked that comedians just called out bullshit and I must have felt like there was a lot of bullshit around me because I liked it. Because I like that comedians just called out bullshit. And I must have felt like there was a lot of bullshit around me because I liked it. It wasn't getting called. Yeah. Yeah.

I liked that there was like George Carlin was like, no, this makes no fucking sense. Yeah. And so I love those people. And the lighter stuff too, like just silly comedians who just pointed out the ridiculousness of things. So I loved Seinfeld when I was a kid and Leno, but especially Carlin, I think, when I was little. Yeah. Well, Groucho Marx is pretty underrated

and underappreciated to this day. Remember when he was hosting that show, You Bet Your Life? Oh, absolutely. So funny and so dirty and weird. Yeah, the way he looked at people. And even when you watch a movie like Duck Soup, the Marx Brothers movie, it's all about the ridiculousness of government.

And something drew me to those people. I think it was also because I was bad at sports. And so I thought, this system's unfair. So I'm a dick because I can't play softball? So it led me to look for something else. But back then, no one else liked comedy. There wasn't another person to talk to about it. Now I think everyone likes it.

But back then, no one was watching Merv Griffin but me. Really? When I was little. When I was 15, I didn't come to school and we would laugh about Jeff Altman on Merv Griffin. I was just alone with it. Wow. And I was just alone with it. Wow.

Yeah, I became a fan of stand-up, watching stand-up on TV, like watching like The Tonight Show and Evening at the Improv and stuff like that. Yeah. But really the big one, the run that really kicked in for me was my parents took me to see Live on the Sunset Strip. Oh, wow. And I was a teenager, young teenager. And I remember being in the audience while Richard Pryor was on stage slaying. And people were laughing so hard. And I was laughing so hard.

I looked around. I'll never forget this moment. Because I looked around at the crowd while the movie was going on. And all these people were like, ah, falling out of their chair, slapping their knee, holding their chest. And I was like, this guy's just talking. He's just talking and he's this funny. This is incredible. I'm like, this is an amazing thing this guy can do. Like I'd never seen real standup before.

I'd only seen like, you know, like someone on the Johnny Carson show do a couple of minutes and tell a few jokes. That in my mind was what standup was. It wasn't until, and I'd listened to some of the old Bill Cosby stuff and some of the old Carlin stuff on records, but I'd never seen it. Like seeing the movie live on the Sunset Strip.

And that planted, didn't plant a seed like I can do it, but it did plant a seed like, holy shit, this is possible. Yeah. Like this is crazy that this is possible. And it's still the best special. It's one of the best ever without a doubt he's still he holds up in a in a very very unique way where a lot of comedy from that era just i mean including lenny bruce doesn't really hold up like it's because it's contextual like if you were there in that time it was groundbreaking but that's not groundbreaking anymore because the culture has moved on so far and a lot of that could be attributed to his insight.

Like Lenny Bruce's insight changed the way a lot of people thought and discussed a lot of like really important issues at that time. But there was something about Pryor's, his honesty and his delivery and his point of view that's like to this day like god he was good i there was a record they put out a few years ago where they didn't tell you what album it was but it was just bits and i i think maybe a lot of of bits that were recorded when he recorded an album but didn't make the album like it was just it was it was uh in eras like 70s 80ss, 90s. And when you listen to his stuff from the 70s, it's so militant. Yeah. It's so militant and it all works perfectly today.

Like what he's mad about. Yeah. All applies to right now. And then when he goes honest about himself and relationships, you do feel it like, oh, there's not many people opening up like this. Like there's not a comparable opening up like this. Right. Like there's not a comparable person.

There's a lot of comedians who talk about their lives, but he's really, he's ripping open the veins much deeper than anybody even now. Sure. And he was talking about horrific addiction issues that he had back then. I mean, addiction issues that caused him to light himself on fire. Yeah. I mean, when he was talking about that back then who the hell had done that you remember he would do that thing We would light a match and and move around like what who am I? I'm Richard Pryor running down the street like and joke around about lighting himself on fire and and have the whole audience laugh

It was like wow It was crazy. There was some some bits where he talked about having multiple sclerosis near the end of his life and he was still doing the comedy store and on audio they were riotously funny brutally honest bits about you know what it felt like to be that sick and i don't think it ever was on an album before. When he was doing that, when he was coming back to the comedy store, when he was really sick before he died, I was the guy who went on after him.

Every night. Every night for like five weeks. Oh, geez. Every time he did a show. I bombed so many times going on after Richard Pryor. Oh, it was death. And how was he? Terrible.

He was old and he was sick and he was drunk and was on pills, and he probably shouldn't have been there. But he just wanted to do it. It wasn't good. It wasn't Richard Pryor. First of all, he was really unhealthy, so they had to crank the microphone up. You couldn't even hear him. Barely hear him. And he would be like, I always loved pussy.

There was nothing there. He was just kind of talking and ranting. And he would be on stage with a drink. And people didn't know how to respond. And they would give him this amazing round of applause when he got on stage. And it took forever for them to get him to the stage. Because Chewy, who worked the door, and this guy Dave would carry Richard Pryor to the stage and slowly just move him towards the stage.

And all the time the people would be clapping and then they would sit him down and then they would put the microphone in place and crank that fucking thing up to 10 and then he would do his stand-up. But it was people almost like paying homage. Homage? Paying homage.

They were there to see the great one. Yeah. And he was there and he's still alive. It's like, wow, we're seeing the greatest stand-up comedian of all time. He's right there. Wow. It was more of that than it was him doing really well. It was never like a good set.

I never saw him kill. And then you would come out i would eat dick just go up there and just eat plates of shit people were so depressed there's no way on what was your attempt to uh to pull out of it um i would go on stage and i would say and now ladies and gentlemen an unknown white guy after the greatest comedian of all time this douchey looking italian looking kid i would just make fun of myself for a few minutes and you know and then sometimes i talk about how uh richard pryor was like you know huge because it would take a long time for him to get off the stage, too. So that was the other thing. Like, I would get introduced by Jeff, who's a piano man, and I would pass Richard and Dave and Chewy as they were carrying Richard off. Like, you'd have to kind of move around them. Yeah.

And then get onto the stage, and then you'd have to say, Richard Pryor, ladies and gentlemen. And sometimes you'd see people's eyes, and they're like, fuck. Like, what did we just see? Like, this is so depressing. Facing their own mortality. Yeah and you're like, fuck. Like, what did we just see? This is so depressing. Facing their own mortality. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And, you know, Richard, I remember he wasn't supposed to drink, but he drank anyway. Because they had him on all this medication.

They're like, fuck you. He just kept drinking. Yeah, it was weird. It was dark. I remember meeting him at a birthday party. I went with Jim Carrey to his birthday party. And it was sad. I mean, it was sad to see somebody that ill.

And then especially when you think of just the power of the guy. Yeah. Just how crazy funny he was. Because there's not that many people just to the core funny. I remember when Robin Williams used to come into the improv in the late 80s. And he would kill so hard, there was just no way to recover. The room couldn't recover. Yeah.

And there's not that many people who can do that now. I feel like people can follow each other now. You know, Louie comes in and you go on after him and he kills. But when Robin Williams would come in, you wanted to end the show. Right. Well, there was only one of him then. And now there's Louis, but then there's Burr, and then there's Diaz, and then there's a lot of guys now. There's Santino and Ari Shafir, and there's so many funny people now.

Or maybe the audience understands in a different way, and they can transition. Maybe. and they can transition. Mm. Maybe. They're used to comedy and they're like, oh, now this guy where in the old days

you'd come on and they couldn't go and oh, we're about to enjoy this potpourri of people. Right. Well, you still see people bomb after someone who kills.

Yeah. That still happens all the time. But I think that maybe it was more, I think what you're getting at the store now, and this is what's been really interesting lately, is you're getting a lot of comedy tourism. Like a lot of people fly over from Europe just to come to the store. A lot. A lot.

And it's worth it. Those lineups are crazy some night. Oh, yeah. Like I'll look at the lineup and go, did this audience understand? How insane this is? Yeah. And there's three shows going on simultaneously. There's the belly room, the original room,

and the main room. And a lot of guys do hat tricks. Well, they'll do all three rooms in one night. The cellar is like that. The Comedy Cellar in New York, there's three rooms. And you go in some nights and it's like, yeah, Chappelle's coming.

Rock just left. Really? Tonight? Yeah, Schumer's here. There's only a few of those places. I had to follow Andrew Dice Clay and Ray Romano at the cellar once. It was like the cleanest guy and the dirtiest guy.

Do you know who I had the worst sets after ever who I could not follow? Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence in the 90s. Sure, I remember Chris Rock says that Martin Lawrence was opening up Martin Lawrence in the 90s. Sure. I remember Chris Rock says that Martin Lawrence was opening up for him in the 90s

or, you know, before he did his big specials and that he was downstairs in the dressing room and he could feel the theater rocking and he went on stage and he said he had some shows

where he couldn't follow him the way he wanted to and that's what made him work hard and then develop those great specials. Right. Because having Martin open for him scared him. Yeah. Well, he also said that he did too many crowds in front of white people. Yeah.

Too many shows in front of white crowds. And they were just too happy and too accepting. And Martin Lawrence would just bring the thunder. Dude, he was so strong. Before he put the wetsuit on and ran around with a gun in the middle of the city in the heat, like whatever fuse he blew. But before that, that fucking guy would go on stage with a leather jumpsuit on and just destroy. I mean destroy at a level that people don't appreciate today.

People forgot about him. Have you ever seen Gary Owen? Yes. I was a talent at doing a set. I was playing Bonnaroo and I wanted to go on the night before to warm up. And I went to Zaney's in Nashville and he's there and I hadn't seen him before. And I did a set and you know, it was okay.

It wasn't very good. It was just fine. And then he gets on i don't i've never heard louder laughs i've never heard louder laughs me and my manager jimmy miller sat in the back of the room and we were like what is happening and then we start really paying attention going how funny is this guy like like listening to the material like is this good material or is he pandering or what is it? And then we're like, wait a second, his material's incredible. Like, he is awesome.

And it was the biggest laugh I've ever heard. He had a sustained, like, killing the crowd, you know, where the place is just rocking and moving up and down. He's a white guy that does a lot of black shows, right? Yes. Yeah. And he went a full 20, 25 minutes at 10 before he slowed it down

and had to slow it down or he was going to kill these people. And I swear I thought, I don't know if I'm in the same business as this guy. Like, is this what we're supposed to do? Well, when you jumped back into it, you thought that three years ago you were just going to have some fun and go and do it. When was it that you realized, like, I'm a comic now, I got to kind of like really aspire to a high standard. Like I have to really tighten everything up. I think, you know, I would, I was watching Louis work on his new set very seriously at the comedy cellar and he'd say, yeah, I got nothing. I got nothing tonight and go on stage and just

crush. And then I played Carnegie Hall and had a good set for the New York Comedy Festival. And then as a surprise, I brought Sandler out to do a surprise set after me. And I thought I did great. And then when he came out, the laughter went up 20% where I felt it like, oh, I'm like at a seven and he's at a 9

and a half. Like it was a different the sound changed. Right. And I thought, oh, there's a whole nother step here that I need to kick into gear. I always want the material to be good, but that oh, there's a way to crush that's

hard to do, to get that momentum and have the ideas. And obviously Chris Rock is one of the best of everybody at it because he has so many great ideas but understands how to get the room rocking really hard. The cadence and the pace. To find what is in your cadence that does it, that doesn't become obnoxious or loud or just you know just

talking fast like how do you find an original way to create that energy in a room i think the only way is constant repetition you have to be on stage all the time yeah and you have to really always be trying to improve it and you have to always be listening to your recordings and you have to have and you got to listen to bad sets too when sets go bad you gotta go why didn't that go bad let's listen this fucking thing I'll hear myself mumble like oh, they didn't even hear what I said yeah That's big. Well. I gotta stumble well. I got out of here. I gotta go pick up a child Oh, I'm gonna do my end of the show plug children. I got the big sick get a website dude, okay? Squarespace I'm gonna do that make your own website, So you're saying there's a place called Squarespace that has websites. I've heard about this.

You can make your own website. Okay, I'm at the Wilbur on the 24th. In Boston. July 24th. 23rd at Ridgefield Playhouse in Connecticut. And the 25th at Columbus Theatre, Providence, Rhode Island. Cancel all Connecticut gigs. Why's that? I always do. I don't work in Connecticut.

I'm not kidding. It's not a real state. Okay. It's a highway. I'm going to figure that out. It's a highway between Boston and New York. I'm going to let you know if that's true. Don't do it.

But as of now- We're going to talk later. After that, you're like, oh my God, you were so right. That Connecticut gig was horrible. I need Connecticut people to show me he's wrong. All these Connecticut people are mad at me now. I get emails from Connecticut. Hey, bro, how about lay off fucking Connecticut? How about drive to Boston or drive to New York and recognize what the fuck you're doing?

John Apatow, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for having me. Thanks for being here, man. That's it for the week. Good night, ladies and gentlemen. Good night, gentlemen.