The Joe Rogan Experience - Fight Companion - September 3, 2016
Episode Date: September 3, 2016Joe is joined by Brendan Schaub, Bryan Callen, and Eddie Bravo to watch the fights on September 3, 2016. ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Absolutely not.
Never watched it.
Does anybody know it?
Just let me know.
We're live?
I didn't go on TV.
We're live.
We're actually live.
We're on the air right now.
Eddie Bravo is here.
Eddie Bravo.
Eddie Bravo.
Hello.
Brian motherfucking Collins.
Yes, I am.
And Brendan Schaub is perfect too.
I fucked up.
I put too much Steve in the coffee though.
Oh, yeah.
That Steve is strong.
You know what we can do?
You just take this one and I trust your spit.
I hope you don't have herpes, and just go back and forth with mine, because there's
none in there.
There you go.
I see it.
And then we'll make a concoction.
We'll have to.
Except we'll go for the both of us.
Split it up, bro.
Split it up.
A concoction.
Just do it.
You're a scientist.
You can snort Stevia.
Yeah, you can.
That dude.
Yeah, and remember Diego Sanchez got really into that for a while?
What?
With Dan Quinn, right?
Yeah, Diego Sanchez got really into Dan Quinn's Stevia thing.
Like he was going to melt fat with Stevia and cure cancer and go to the moon.
Yeah, there's a guy out there.
His name is Dan Quinn who believes that Stevia can change the world.
Tell me how that big brown thing is.
Good for him.
It's the five companion.
Tastes like a chocolatey man kiss.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
That's what I'm going for.
It tastes like a chocolatey man kiss.
If you're listening to this podcast, we're watching the fights live from Germany.
They play at noon in L.A.
So we all got out of our comfy beds and beautiful wives' arms and embraces and came here to watch dudes fight.
We're not going to be watching the fights.
If you want to know what happened, we don't know.
We'll be talking about subjects that belong in a 14-year-old's treehouse.
And that's essentially what we talk about.
And the other thing about muscles and grips.
We might eventually get to some of these fights.
I want to talk about Alir Latife and Ryan Bader when that fight happens.
Tough fight.
I don't like that fight for Bader.
That dude's scary as fuck.
Latife can bomb.
Yeah, he can throw some punches.
He's a tank.
Bader's been known to eat a couple.
It does nothing for Bader either.
Yeah, but Bader's fought well against certain guys that are powerful, scary guys.
He just really fucked up against Rumble.
So you're looking at that.
He shit the bed against Rumble. So you're looking at the bed against
He just made a giant error. Yeah, you can't blame him. You see what Rumble just did to Glover
That low like weird he tried to ankle pick a big yeah
Just why'd his brains? I think he just took a chance
You know at something weird like hoping maybe it would work out can't do that
I think you also maybe like had a moment, you't do that at that level. I think he also maybe had a moment in there.
Oh, shit moment.
That's Anthony Rumble Johnson.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, that's not James Toney.
Don't do the same game plan Randy Couture had against James Toney.
Exactly.
That was exactly what he did.
Because Anthony Johnson went, huh?
Punched him right in the face.
Not only that, he controlled him on the ground until he punched him in the face
and eventually got him flattened out on his stomach.
It might be the worst place in the world to be,
flattened out on your stomach underneath Rumble Johnson.
It's terrible.
There is a, like, that's, probably that is the worst place.
No, it's right next to that dude who got his arm trapped in the rock
and had to saw it off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also in a swamp full of crocodiles.
That's worse.
That guy.
Or standing right in front of him like Glover.
Oh, God.
Well, Glover just tried to put that pressure on him.
Hey, man.
Dude, did you hear it?
You can't walk forward.
Did you just see an uppercut?
Do you remember that white supremacist
where they had his brother in jail?
And in protest, he videotaped himself
sawing his own hand off. What? his own hand off so he had a camera on
and he goes i want to show you guys something essentially basically showing them that he that
they had no control of him that he his mind was stronger than theirs and just cut his own hand off
would you they're like that's impressive jamie pull that up i need to see this. My brother would do that for me, I feel like.
Let's talk off the air.
I wouldn't want him to.
This is Marcin Held and Taehyung Bang.
Taehyung Bang?
He is from Korea?
He's a Korean cowboy.
He's a Korean cowboy.
You said Marcin Held?
A lot of cowboys in Korea.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Nick Hine.
You got me all excited.
You know what?
Marcin Held just got signed.
I was actually going to bring that up.
He just got signed over from Bellator.
Very hesitant here, ladies and gentlemen.
He's a really good footlock guy, huh?
Yeah.
Good leg locks.
One of them rare leg lockers in MMA.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I confuse all white people.
I think all white people look the same.
Me too.
Especially if they're athletes.
I'm super racist when it comes to white people.
To the whites.
To the whites. White people from other countries comes to white people. To the whites. To the whites.
White people from other countries where they talk weird.
All the same.
Yeah, that can never be racist.
White people look the same.
No one cares either.
Nobody cares.
But any other race, it's very trouble.
Big trouble.
Any other race, even Mexicans.
Oh, big trouble.
A black person can say white people all look the same to me on TV, and nobody gives a shit.
Not at all.
Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly.
You'd have to be really, really funny and it'd have to be a really obvious joke for you to use any other race, especially if you're a white guy.
Well, Sam Tripoli has that joke where he goes, he'll be like, I lost Bobby Lee at the Korean Day Parade.
You ever lose a Korean in a Korean parade?
It's like looking for a needle in a needle stack.
Come on, that's funny.
It is funny, and it is true, too.
Sir, I'm not going to say it's true, but I am saying it's funny.
There's certain races that share so many similarities as far as their mannerisms or their um their features and stuff
i mean it's there's so much variety in like america right because we come from so many
different parts of the world mixes you thought of us as a country which you know we are a country
but we're not a country like like say if you wanted to go and meet some colombians you were
in colombia most of them are going to look like colombians you know i mean they have a very
distinct look to them especially the women well China very much
I think in China
to have that many people speaking Mandarin
which had to do I think with the Yangtze
and the Yellow River because they could trade
and share ideas
and plus I think they were
pretty isolated so you're right
there wasn't as much immigration
and mix of the United States.
I mean, everybody's fucking everybody.
Well, not only that, it's never been like this before with this 300 million people.
We vary so much and we're more varied now than ever before.
Like they say, what is it like?
I think they said 20 more years and white people are going to be a minority.
Yeah.
It's fascinating.
Yep.
Because the Chinese and, or you can say Asian and Mexicans will be the minority in America,
correct?
Mm-hmm.
Well, China's film market is neck and neck with the United States now.
I mean, China's-
Well, they like Expendables 19.
They love all that bullshit.
They're making their own movies, and they're building huge movie studios now.
They're also using our old, like, Sylvester Stallone's such a hit now over there.
Like, they just found him.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Well, it's interesting, man.
It's interesting that this world is sort of, in some places, it's not sort of meshing with everything else.
But in most places, people are spreading out and sort of, like, integrating with each other.
I remember when I was little, my dad gets so, I was like four or five.
And we'd see an Asian person, and I'd say, oh, look at that Chinese guy.
You know, something, I'd say something, he's like, he's not, he's Korean.
I'm fucking five, man.
That's what I do.
I can't tell the difference between the eyes, dad.
I do.
Your dad got mad at you at that when you were five?
Even today.
Even today.
He's from Korea.
Fuck, man.
Well, today, maybe it should make sense.
Like you should have learned it by now.
Maybe.
It's tough.
I've never been over there.
I can tell the difference between a Korean and a Japanese person now.
My favorite thing to do is to-
Pretty close, yeah.
I love drawing the distinction and alerting people to the fact that I know the difference.
And then I'll give you a little history lesson on it.
Yeah, you do.
And then I walk away feeling good about myself.
Yeah, you do.
Greg Fitzsimmons does this thing in his show where he guesses the Asian.
He calls it Guess the Asian. He points at people. God bless him. He's really good at it. I bet if you can tell the difference. He can pick up like
he tells difference between Filipinos and people from Bali. I think that's easy.
They're huge differences. That's a skill my man. No. It's like an X-Men power. No. If you're in
America it is. You know what's weird is like that America's only been around for
like really a few hundred years
from the first settlers, right?
First European settlers.
1640 or something, yeah.
And then before that, just one look, right?
Like Native American.
And then in that time, just the change of the landscape has been so drastic in just
a short amount of time.
You think about any other time in the world, any other part of the world, some place as
big as the continental United States just gets
Transformed over a couple hundred years and just white people just feel
Shit over what about Israel?
Wizard is very small. You know Israel's time. It's just 1948 and it's a tiny place
And they still look like all the people that hate
them.
They do.
I used to have that bit.
Remember that there's,
there's,
there's a brown skin dude with dark color hair throwing rocks at a brown
skin dude with dark color hair holding a machine gun.
I go,
what's going on?
How do you guys look exactly?
This isn't like the Chinese versus the African.
This is like a tennis match between the Williams sisters.
I'm like, who the fuck is who?
What's even crazier, what's even crazier, they believe in the same God.
They believe in the same God.
And basically the Quran says that everything in the Old Testament is true.
So even the Quran says that's the first book.
Then they had a problem with the New Testament.
But it's kind of wild.
For sure, figure it out.
It's just territory, territory.
Well, there's no way you're going to figure it out because you want to make your parents happy and you know they
have a set of rules and you grow up with them and you start raising your kid that way and then those
all those ancient ideas about who those people that you don't know are versus these people next
to you that you don't know well these people are on my side of the dirt and those people on that
side of the dirt and we believe a certain type of the dirt. And we believe a certain type of wacky shit.
And they believe a different type of wacky shit.
I mean, they have their problems over there, but we have problems here too.
Like, have you seen how the Kaepernick situation escalated?
Have you seen that?
Explain that to me.
So Kaepernick won't stand for the-
Well, explain who he is.
Colin Kaepernick is the starting quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers.
He's African-American and mixed with something else.
So he's lighter skinned and he was adopted. He's African-American and mixed with something else, so he's lighter skinned, and he was adopted.
He was raised by white parents.
And so he was a big-time quarterback, playing like shit lately,
but he was a big-time quarterback, refuses to stand for the national anthem
because it says his people are oppressed and the cop treatment,
stuff like that.
And then a picture came out that he wore them a while ago,
these socks with cops as pigs on them. He wore them to them a while ago these socks with uh cops as pigs on
him he wore him to practice a while ago before he made this stance and so that's that photo's been
brought back out so now the cops in santa clara are saying we're not working the games anymore
unless you guys do something about kaepernick we're not working the games anymore so the cops
are taking a protest now which to to me is like, it's
definitely not the right thing to do.
Because he has freedom of speech, right?
First Amendment, he can do that, whether you agree with it or
not. But the cops,
now you guys are sinking to his level.
You can't make a decision to not
do your job because you don't like a guy's
opinion. Cops that work games
are off-duty police officers. They're not on
duty. Oh, that's a good point.
So they're doing it for extra money.
Well, they're just doing it because they enjoy the game
and they want to keep the fucking San Francisco 49ers safe.
Well, they're going to exercise their right
and then Colin's going to exercise his right.
Somewhere in the middle, something's got to happen.
It's a complete nightmare, though.
It's not good.
You know, it's not a good...
It's not a smart platform for all this.
I agree.
Because it's all going to get lost in the noise.
That's the problem.
If he has a real point about what he doesn't like about the way the United States is going,
or the way our country is being led,
it gets a lot of people paying attention, but it's just going to get a lot of hate.
But you're not changing anything by not standing for the anthem during the National Football League.
The cops are still going to be the cops, and the black people are still going to be oppressed.
You're really not changing much.
Well, he's starting the dialogue, he thinks.
And when you're young and you have a strong ego and you feel like you're in a position of quote unquote leadership, you feel like you can make a stand.
It's a little clumsy.
Maybe a little clumsy on his part.
But now you have other players starting to do the same thing. Isn't that what he wanted though? Why would he say all that? He wants this. It's like little clumsy, maybe a little clumsy on his part. But now you have other players starting to do the same thing.
Isn't that what he wanted, though?
Why would he say all that?
He wants this.
It's like mission accomplished.
Well, it's not mission accomplished.
It's working because everyone's talking about it.
I don't think he realized it was going to be like this, though.
Well, I think he kind of, but the big issue is he's just not playing very good football.
So now the Niners, if they release him, they're going to get so much flack.
Oh, that's fucking racist because this.
No, no, no.
He just can't throw a fucking football.
I bet they won't. I bet they won't.
I bet they won't.
I bet the tougher thing will be him getting picked up by somebody else.
Like what team wants to take on that PR nightmare?
True.
And you're going to risk the ire of all the police unions that are working your games.
And all the people in your town.
They're going to say, oh, is this what our team's all about?
We're about taking this guy in?
What if you went to a more African-American market, like Atlanta or Philadelphia?
I wonder if most African-Americans – see, when you – don't stand for the national anthem,
which is the United States versus government or a government policy.
Those things can be separate.
I look at them as separate.
Well, he says that.
He says that.
So now, instead of just sitting on the bench,
he takes a knee, because he goes, I'm not doing this against the soldiers. I have friends.
My uncle was in the military. So now he takes
a knee and had a former Navy
SEAL next to him and hugged him after.
He goes, I'm doing it because the way... He should have made out.
Yeah, that'd have been dope. He's just trying to make...
He's just gay as shit, too. This is for gays
as well. Just over the top.
For everybody.
He's trying to bring attention
to something he feels strongly about.
The question is,
is it, like you said,
the best venue
and it's the most effective?
Well, maybe.
We're talking about it.
He didn't want to be quiet about it.
Obviously, he wanted to be loud about it
and this is loud as fuck.
He even grew a powerful afro.
I think he loves it.
Powerful afro.
Maybe.
Maybe.
But I think Brandon's not playing wellful afro. Maybe. Maybe. But I think Brennan's right.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Like, you've got to be playing real well to have a fucked up opinion.
Yeah, like if Tom Brady did it, we're like, oh, cool, man.
Yeah, do your thing.
With him, it's like, fuck.
He's not even the starter, probably, and he's going to be paid $19 million this year.
So that might have a little bit to do with him getting cut, too.
That's what I'm saying.
His contract and his on-field play is the bigger issue if you're calling.
That's a tremendous amount of money.
It's a lot of money.
He signed a $114 million contract two years ago.
Brennan, at $19 million after agents and taxes, what do you think he sees?
I mean, $19 million, that's his guaranteed signing bonus, right?
So agents take 10% in the taxes.
I mean, he sees a shitload of money.
He sees about $10 million of that.
No, no, no, no.
Because you've got to figure out, he's probably in a 48% tax bracket.
He probably has a manager, an agent, and a lawyer.
Yeah.
And there's a lot of shit that gets distributed.
But don't get it twisted.
This is just part of the contract.
He's rich as fuck.
Yeah.
Because this is his third contract or second, Jamie?
His second.
So before that, he was already making money.
Was he better before?
Was he a better player before?
Oh, yeah.
He took him to the conference finals and the playoffs.
So when did it start going bad for him?
From my insiders who actually, someone worked for the San Francisco 49ers,
they were saying it really went bad for him because he was like a really athletic quarterback
and no one could really pick up his style of play.
And once they figured it out, he was a guy who was on social media all the time
and the negativity got to him.
So he's a sensitive dude and just all the critiquing from the media
and everyone else really got to him.
So he's lost weight
He's changed his throwing motion. He doesn't run anymore. This is all black power now social media fucked with him
They're saying that that's just just this wave like he let all the criticism get to him really yeah
Wow the haters right now are going what the trolls like yeah?
We got him he still has 19 million He still has $19 million, people.
Yeah, but if he's losing weight and feeling nervous, they win.
100%.
Losing weight.
How old is he?
He might be 26.
Damn, that's a lot of money.
How old is he, Jamie? 26?
That is so much money.
You know what I'm saying, Nevada?
First of all, asking a 26-year-old to take a stance about global issues
while they're in the middle of a professional athletic career
at the highest level, which demands you know as much as anybody.
If you're playing professional football,
tell us how much fucking that demands of your day.
Especially as a quarterback.
How much does that demand of your day?
Oh, man, in season.
I mean, you're talking full time.
I mean, nine to five doesn't count.
You're talking about endless hours of studying, practice.
You're the leader of the team.
Strength and conditioning.
No, just conditioning.
Drills, plyos, constantly.
Really, they're in the film room more than anyone.
Break down tape.
And how tired are you all the time after practice?
I mean, you're exhausted.
Exhausted.
Especially a guy like that who he relies on his athleticism to get the plays done.
Well, the NFL doesn't work like that.
You have to use your brain.
Look at the best quarterbacks in the league.
How many plays per team would you say?
Because they have a book, right?
I mean, you're talking thousands.
Thousands of plays that they have to know.
And he has to know the whole inside and out.
So that dude doesn't have time to be studying global issues?
No, that's why he's playing like shit.
It'd be way more powerful if he played well, was a starter,
started winning games, and then came out and did this maybe after the season.
Dude, there's no 26-year-old that's built to handle the kind of pressure
that comes being that famous and a big football player.
And then on top of that, supporting some sort of a global issue,
like some sort of a national issue on the United States,
like the state of the United States.
Are you going to make an official statement?
I can't imagine.
It's putting a lot on your plate.
I shouldn't be making an official statement today,
and I'm almost 50.
I'm like, not ready yet.
I'm still digesting it.
Give me some time.
I can't imagine what he's doing.
I'm sure he has support from a lot of people,
but a lot of it is negative.
Then you've got to get ready for a football game.
It's make or break.
If you're playing poorly, it's going to get negative real quick from all sides, right?
No, I don't think from all sides.
I think African-American people are pretty proud of him in a certain aspect.
Well, some people are proud of him, too, that feel like things aren't the way they should be in this country,
and at least this guy used that platform and took a chance.
Correct.
But I think you're dead right in that the real problem is
you've got to be playing really fucking good to pull something like that off.
Like, people don't want to just listen to you if you're ruining play.
And there's going to be so much pressure on him every time he does play.
People are going to be psyched if he gets nailed.
What's the pressure?
I mean, he watches a couple YouTube videos.
And, I mean, there's not like something that he's got to study.
God damn it.
He wears socks.
So what?
What is he doing?
He likes to tweet.
And then what?
He has the entire San Francisco 49ers organization on his back to win games.
And if he doesn't perform, he's going to lose his job.
Poor him.
I mean, it's a tough gig.
It's a tough gig, man. You don't feel bad about him, Eddie?
No. But he's got money.
Because he's black?
Fuckers. Rich as shit. Super famous.
And he wants this attention. Why else would he
wear those socks? If Tom Brady wore those
socks, the whole arena would be
yelling, fuck the police, right?
For sure, yeah.
Tom Brady's white, though.
Exactly.
Would they, though?
I think they would turn on him.
I think they'd turn on Tom Brady.
There's no turning on Tom Brady.
That's bullshit.
He can't do anything wrong.
They would turn on him.
He can't do anything wrong.
Incorrect.
New England wouldn't.
He could murder someone,
and they'd be like,
yeah, what can you do with Tom Brady?
Tell us the whole story.
He did murder four people.
Well, the guy probably lipped off.
Even with Aaron Hernandez, the guy who's a straight-up murderer,
they were like, I mean, if he gets out, we'll take him.
He's such a good player.
New England was like, I mean, we wouldn't be mad if he gets out.
He's such a good player.
They just want to win fucking football games in New England.
God.
That's how good of a player he was.
Throw to the murderer.
You know what?
The Patriots might sue you for saying that. They'd probably agree with you. No, they're like, yeah, that's how good of a player he was. Throw to the murderer. You know what? The Patriots might sue you for saying that.
Yeah.
They'd probably agree with you.
No, they're like, yeah, that's how it goes.
Trying to win games here.
Jesus Christ.
Neil Brennan has a fucking hilarious bit about football that I can't do it without doing it.
You know, I can't give you the premise of it.
But he's talking about why football players do fucked up shit in real life.
It is hilarious.
Dude, he's my favorite guest on your podcast.
Is he really?
By far.
I think he's the most creative fucking, I've never met him in person, but dude, that guy is brilliant.
Let's get him on.
Very, very smart.
He's so creative.
Get him on the fighter of the kid.
Yeah, we will.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys will love him.
He's awesome.
God, he's talented.
I've been meaning to do that anyway.
So talented.
The football bit he did last night, I was crying.
Really?
Crying.
I can't do it because it'll give away the bit, but it's very, very funny.
Dude, I finally watched the roast with Jim Ross with Big Boy.
What's his name?
The big fat guy.
Ralphie May.
Ralphie May.
Where his feelings got hurt.
I heard it was bad.
Dude.
I can't watch.
Dude.
I don't want to watch it.
Bro.
What happened?
I mean, it's a roast battle.
Ralphie's going through a divorce, and these people just fucking...
The fucking hammer in the coffin, the guy goes,
Well, you've lost...
It's so fucked up.
You've lost your wife, your career.
You can't sell tickets.
You've lost everything.
The only thing you haven't lost is weight, motherfucker.
And it was like...
I don't like that stuff. Because Ralphie's such a sweet... It's a roast. He's such a sweet guy. Well, don't fucking watch. The only thing you haven't lost is weight, motherfucker. And it was like... I don't like that stuff.
Because Ralphie's such a sweet...
It's a roast.
He's such a sweet guy.
Well, don't fucking watch.
It's a roast, though.
Yeah, don't get involved in the roast.
Yeah, don't get involved, yeah.
Yeah.
They were roasting Ralphie Mae?
It was a Ralphie Mae roast?
No, it's like one-on-one roast.
Roast battle.
Yeah.
Roast battle.
They roast each other.
You ever see Roast Battle?
It's a hilarious show.
Yeah, they have it at the comedy store.
You gotta come, man.
I love it.
They do it at the comedy store on Tuesday nights, and they do it late at night.
And I think it starts at midnight, right?
I'm not sure.
Isn't it?
But your boy Tony Hinchcliffe tore it up, too.
Yeah.
It's just some of the funniest young up-and-coming kids.
And adults, I should say.
Some of them are, for whatever reason, deep in their 30s.
There's some old-ass people in there, too.
Yeah, some 50-year-old people that are on Rose Battle.
They have great judges, too.
Yeah, and they have
comics judge it
and then they'll
they'll do like
one you know
one joke
and the other person
will do a joke
against them
and they go back
and forth
and then the audience
decides who got
who better
it's so creative
and like Tony Hinchcliffe
I guess he does a podcast
at the comic store
on Monday nights
or something like that
whatever it is
and he texts me
and goes
it's called Kill Tony
Kill Tony yeah yeah
he texts me and goes hey man when do you come by Kill Tony, yeah, yeah. He texts me and goes,
hey, man, when do you come by and do the podcast?
And I went, oh, no, do the show.
And I went, I'm down to do like a podcast,
but I'm not letting you just roast the shit out of me.
I'm not going...
It's too easy.
I don't know how to come...
I'm not good at roasting other people.
I'm not good at those comebacks.
Also, you want everybody to love you.
You don't want to be mean to people.
I also don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
It ain't for you, B.
It ain't for you. Tony would eat you you. You don't want to be mean to people. I also don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. It ain't for you, B. It ain't for you.
Tony would eat you alive.
I can't hurt people.
Even if I had a good take put down, I couldn't.
Tony would eat you.
I don't like hurting people's feelings.
Like a cannibal.
Brian Moses, the guy who hosts it, is perfect.
He's a hilarious guy.
Brian's a good guy.
Great guy.
It's a great show.
You know what's tough on that?
Because obviously they're going based off each other,
you're volleying back and forth on jokes and roasting each other.
But when someone has a horrible,
like just a great roast and the other one's not ready,
when a roast is bad, it's bad.
Like Ralphie May was like,
that's why your eyes are close together.
And the crowd's like,
it's just dead silent.
I'm like, oh, God.
Fuck.
I heard about it, and I couldn't watch it.
It's on the spot.
Yeah, I don't want to see somebody get knocked out like that.
I don't like that shit.
It's on Comedy Central.
I'm sure it's on YouTube.
But Whoopi Goldberg was a coach, or she was a judge.
Man, it was tough.
What was tough?
Whoopi Goldberg being a judge?
Her commentary and everything.
She's just out of the loop
You know what I'm saying?
She's out of the fucking loop
That's 100% what she was doing
It's funny how people can ride
Something great for a long time
Like her first HBO special
Was it really great?
Yeah it was really good
Theatrically it was excellent
This motherfucker's in an audition again.
He's great.
He's in the room right now with the producers.
No, no, no.
Brian's trying to get on the view.
I had some wine last night in Santa Monica with some good friends.
You cannot take away from her.
Brian's trying to get on the view right now.
The two things she did to get herself known on HBO, they were pretty amazing.
Whoopi Goldberg?
Yeah, you can't take that away from her.
But I will say that, and she did Ghost, but you can ride that shit for a long time. Ghost is big. I'm blacking out right now.
There's no air in this room.
I just sucked it all out.
Hey, 20 years ago.
It was 20 years ago.
She's not like in the comedy
scene. She does the view.
She does the view. She's got a look that's very distinctive.
And she seems like a very friendly person
and America took her in a long time ago.
And she's sort of been in this steady, coasting state ever since then.
So when she goes and does something that demands, like, pop, like these things.
Or when she expresses herself on The View, when she's got an opinion, it's not very succinct.
It's not, like, clear and sharp and, like, well-defined.
There's a lot of, lot of laziness to it.
I'm sure she's just a really wealthy woman who is set for life.
She doesn't have to worry about shit.
She dresses that way, too.
And when she's up there,
she's casual,
and she's being herself.
Casual as fuck.
She has Crocs on and shit.
Some ways,
what you're getting is
when you get a person that's at that level.
She's an Oscar winner.
Yeah.
She's over it.
She's like, what's up?
I'm Whoopi Goldberg.
I don't have to do shit anymore.
She even brought that up on the show.
She said, I have Oscars.
That's what she said on the show.
That was her roast.
Yeah.
When someone came at her, when her and Jeselnik were going at it, and she was like, who are
you?
I have Oscars.
That's her thing.
She's like, I have Oscars, honey.
That's not funny
you know what happens
but that's what you
but sometimes success
can stop a lot of things
so Bob Dylan was
and he's produced a lot
and been amazing
but they were going through
like the lyrics
that he was writing
and stuff
and when he was younger
that made him like a legend
and he said
and he literally went
isn't that something
and they go
what do you mean
he goes
I just don't
that was a different person back then who wrote that stuff.
Like, I could never do that again.
I could never replicate that again.
That magic that made me what I am is gone.
So much of it was wanting to be heard so badly.
So much of it was, can I even do this?
The wonder and the mystery of who am I?
And let me see if this effort can bear fruit.
And when you get really wealthy and you get really famous and you become a legend,
it's very difficult to replicate
that kind of stuff.
Like Ellen Jenner is for me
when she was younger
and doing stand-up personally,
I loved her stand-up
when she was younger.
And then I was thinking to myself,
you had this great stand-up career
and then you became a talk show host.
You make a fortune.
She's really good at that though.
But I just could never do that.
That would be so boring to me
in comparison to stand-up.
You know what the best interview with her?
Her and Caitlyn Jenner.
When Caitlyn Jenner was talking about how she doesn't believe in gay marriage because
I'm more of a traditionalist.
So she's sitting there with her frozen face.
Why have I always been a traditionalist?
And you're like, what in the fuck are you talking about?
Your face is Botoxed and cut and your jaw is half your jaw is missing.
You're wearing lipstick.
That's her up there on the screen.
All this craziness, and she's saying that she's not into gay marriage, or she wasn't into gay marriage.
She's trying to change my opinion now.
But because she's more of a traditionalist.
You are a man who thinks they're a woman.
There's nothing further from a traditionalist.
That's a Hollywood insanity.
But Ellen wrote her on it.
She's like, how can someone like you, who's faced so much discrimination, how could you be against gay marriage?
And this is my take on this Caitlyn Jenner thing that everybody's always been missing.
You're talking about a nonsense person.
You're talking about a male Kardashian.
This is what this is.
We're having this national debate, which is an important national debate, because there's
a spectrum of gender, and there's some people that get stuck in some weird spots.
And to be mean about those people because they're not a manly man like Brendan Schaub
or-
Or Brian Callen.
Or Brian Callen.
You know what I mean?
Or a girly girl, you know, like Katy Perry.
There's a lot of women and men that fall in these weird places.
But this is the wrong one to pay attention to.
Yes.
This is crazy.
I agree 100%.
This is, I mean, it's not a bad person, you know?
They're not a horrible person.
She's Kardashian.
Yeah, but this is what we've been dealing with when we're talking about, like, putting
focus on people for no reason whatsoever other than the fact that there's a camera on them.
People also get bullied into being super supportive
and completely a fanatic on that side.
Exactly.
Instead of having an objective, fair, critical point of view
like it's weird or like, I don't know,
she's not that impressive.
What she did in 1976 was pretty impressive and whatever.
It's social media, man.
Social media, the pressure and the amount of human beings
that you're communicating with, it's off the charts the numbers are crazy the numbers that
you're you're interacting with on a daily basis if you have any sort of a point whatsoever like
this football player dude if he has any sort of a point that he wants to make dude you're you're
dealing with literally millions of people throwing their opinions your way. And it's a storm.
And you can't go outside in the rain and pick the raindrop that you're going to communicate with.
No, you can't.
That's essentially what he's doing when it's opinions.
Opinions are coming at him like rain.
Well, but also look at Homegirl.
Who's the comedian from Ghostbusters, the black girl?
Oh, shit.
Leslie Jones.
Leslie Jones.
Her shit got so bad.
People are, when she's doing Ghostbusters. the black girl? Oh, shit. Leslie Jones. Leslie Jones. Her shit got so bad, people are...
She exacerbated that.
She exacerbated by about poorly...
They leaked naked photos, too. No, no, no, that was afterwards.
Yeah, I know, but they went ham on it.
I don't know if it's the same people. I mean, obviously
somebody leaked her naked photos, but
they'll leak your naked photos, too, if you leave them on iCloud,
stupid. Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, they'll leak everyone's naked photos.
You leave your dick on iCloud, that shit's going online.
All my dick pics are, I'm
pretty proud of. But she interacted with some of those
people and she did it. That's what you can't do.
It was poorly thought out.
I feel like she's new to it too though, right?
Yeah, she is new to it.
Ghostbusters!
Sideways rain, baby. There's a fucking hurricane out your
door. Go out there and find a raindrop.
But I feel like successful people don't pay attention to most of that bullshit some people do tyron woodley
apparently he's been paying attention to it i've been reading all the shit about tyron reading all
these uh haters tweets why would he do that i don't know man maybe someone needs to talk to
him maybe he doesn't mind maybe he's using as a psychological exercise but he's talking about
all these people that are being racist no i'm No, let him get dark, man. He needs to focus on
Wonderboy. Not only that, when you find
out, when they find out that you're
paying attention and that it freaks you out
like this Kaepernick guy that's losing weight
and you fucking can't throw right anymore.
There's too many of them, man.
There's too many people. Especially in
negative, they can't affect the celebrity in that
fashion. They're gonna fucking try, man.
It's natural. It's as natural as a virus. Being're going to fucking try, man. It's natural.
It's as natural as a virus.
Being a hater?
Yeah, yeah.
There's a certain amount of people that they got a fucking shithand in life.
And they are who they are through a series of bad decisions and life circumstances and genetics and all the above.
And they see a guy like Kaepernick that's making 50 million bucks over the next couple of years.
Don't be stupid.
Fuck him.
Good looking dude too.
Has a bit of a nose, but good looking dude.
And they come home every day and they run to that computer from their McDonald's job
with fucking fry smell all over their body, their hands.
And they just start putting all kinds of rude shit about him.
Just hoping to get a response.
Although the article we read in Time Magazine had a front page article.
And according to
that author and his research, a lot of that hate comes from, oh, I don't know, kindergarten
teachers, doctors, lawyers, and people, your next door neighbor you would never imagine,
but they just have a mean streak.
Well, they just said it could come from-
And they just want to be mean.
They said it could come from anyone.
Yes.
Like, just don't assume the guy's in the basement of his mom's house jacking off.
That's right.
It can literally come from anyone
Especially Kaepernick who's a
San Francisco 49er
You might be a Seattle fan
You're like yeah I'm gonna hate him I might as well
I'm a doctor in Seattle fuck this dude
It gives you a free pass
There's also something about some people
When nobody's looking to do something outrageous
Forbidden
That would be totally out of character
It's freeing right
So they just want to do like It it's almost like when you go, when you're in a really,
in an airplane, you have to be quiet and stuff, and you go to the bathroom, and you're about
to pee, and you look in the mirror, and you go, and you just do some weird face, because
it's a release.
That's you, you fucking weirdo.
That's some weird shit.
Maybe, guys, I don't know.
But no, you're definitely right.
I think people that are buttoned down all day, like doctors and lawyers, and people
that have to put on a persona all day long
Those are the ones who want to hire mistresses and get them to shit on them and smack them in the face
Well, they don't do wacky stuff. They've done a lot of studies on
Cultures that produce a lot of like shit videos and these really perverse videos
It's all about the Japanese Japanese and the Germans who tend to be very disciplined very very authoritarian, and very buttoned down and formal.
So, listen, man.
It's called Bukkake. When you've got to do that all the time.
It's called Bukkake.
Yeah.
I can't watch them.
I'll throw up.
You want some extreme.
Human beings will, they just want to be, it was like they were talking about why would
the Germans at one point, who were the quote unquote most civilized society in the world,
they read Goethe and everything else, and they had, and what happened?
It culminated with concentration camps and feeding people to gas chambers and ovens.
Huh?
What?
What the fuck?
Meanwhile, Elir Latife is stepping towards a cage.
There's a video of him online really recently where he deadlifts, what was it, like 450 pounds 33 times.
That's impressive.
Oh, my God.
Brennan Shaw might not be able to do that.
Something ridiculous like that.
I can't do that. But he does 33 deadlifts with it. He's impressive. Oh my god. Brennan Schaub might not be able to do that. Something ridiculous like that. I can't do that. But he does
33 deadlifts with it. He's built
for it. It's insane. You watch
and you're like, check this motherfucker out.
What is the weight? What does it say there? 440, 33
times. Okay, 440 pounds.
He does it 33 fucking reps.
Mr. Schaub's
doing 550 for 10
and doing 10 sets of that.
I could probably get close.
I'd blow my ass off.
I bet you could.
He's a big fucking dude.
Oh, he's not doing continuous.
Oh, Brennan will do that.
He's doing them and then dropping them
and then letting them go.
Brennan Schaub will do that.
Brennan Schaub will do that.
Now, let me ask you this.
Is that the way to go with deadlifts?
Do you just let it go
when it goes to deadlifts?
You don't lower it down?
Why wouldn't you lower it down?
Yeah, I lower it down, especially if I'm doing continuous reps.
That's a little weird.
I guess maybe saving energy doing it, but you're restarting every time,
so it's more work, I feel like.
Well, maybe that's why they're doing it.
Maybe it's just, I mean, obviously, this is something thought up.
I thought he was going boosh, boosh, boosh.
He's letting it drop.
It's still impressive.
It's not as hard.
He's doing 33 reps, dude.
B was doing, Brennan was doing 550, 10 reps.
Don't call him B.
Don't.
He was doing 10 reps.
Sorry.
He was doing 10 reps and he did 10 sets of that.
And you were doing that.
You were lifting 550 like you were getting out of a chair.
That was ridiculous.
For what?
Because I fucking tell dick jokes and drink coffee.
You're strong.
Because you want to look good.
You're very strong.
Yeah, you want to look like a stud.
This guy is a very strong man.
You got a big-ass gorilla body, and you weren't lifting weights.
It would be rude.
Like, you got this big-ass body, and you let it get all doughy and soft
and get a little pot that hangs over your belt buckle.
Could be funny, though.
No.
No, it's not funny.
People would be upset.
This motherfucker got the perfect frame, and he's wasting it eating Cheetos.
You know?
I mean, if you have one of those bodies, you're supposed to fucking maintain that bitch.
If you have a Ferrari and you're putting paint on it, I'm going to paint my own smiley
faces on it.
Like an asshole.
Yeah, put bumper stickers.
Free Tibet on a Ferrari.
Free Tibet.
Fuck you. Free Tibet on a Ferrari. Free Tibet. Free Tibet.
Don't ever do that.
That's really funny.
You're ruining the shape of this beautiful thing.
Ryan Bader stepping in.
Now, how does one recover from that Rumble Johnson fight?
He's moving into the top ten.
He's in the top ten.
Top five?
Yeah, yeah.
He won five in a row?
He's on his way towards a title shot, and then he fights
someone like Rumble, and he gets so
annihilated that it leaves this
like, okay, how much
improvement would he have to make before he could
beat Rumble? Well, but that Rumble
fight, I don't think, if I'm Ryan Bader
and I'm his camp, you can't really chalk it up as
ah, he was the better fighter. I think
Bader shit his pants in a huge situation,
it didn't go his way.
Back to the drawing board.
You get past this one, then he's probably going to get Gustafson next.
If they both win, is what I would assume.
Maybe.
Could be.
Because, you know.
OSP is still in the mix, too.
He already beat OSP.
Yeah, he did.
But OSP, I'm sure, would like a rematch.
Yeah, it'd be tough.
It'd be tough.
He's only 33.
It's amazing when you think Ryan Bader won the ultimate fighter way back in the day forever ago so long ago
He has those wrestling days. Bader's 6'2". I didn't know he was that tall. He's a big boy. Wow
He's a fairly narrow like he's not like Latife is different. How tall is Latife? 5'10"?
Where's he from? Where's he from? Arizona. I think Latife's Albanian. Damn.
See if that's true.
But he lived in Sweden, right?
He grew up in Sweden.
But he's Afghani.
I'm going to say Afghani.
I'm pretty sure Rose from the comic store said that's her Albanian brother.
God damn, he's jacked.
Find out if he's originally from Albania.
She's right.
This guy's a tank, though, man.
Look at the size of him. If you look at his
fucking head, he's a tank.
If I'm beta, I wear his ass out
and look to knock him out in the late second or third.
Yeah, he's super explosive.
It says he was born in Sweden.
It says all Sweden.
Yeah, but he's not Swedish.
Does it say anything Albania?
He might go to the Wikipedia, buddy.
He was born and raised in Sweden.
Background. Because they don't make was born and raised in Sweden Background
Cause they don't make him
Look like that in Sweden
Was it say ethnicity?
Is it Albania?
Yeah Albania
There you go
Swedish people all look the same
Yeah they do
It's true they're white
Goddamn whitey
Northern
Green and blue eyes
I'll tell you what though
Musashi ate
The fucking shit
Out of
Latifi's whole world Right but Latifi Took that fight Just jacked the fuck out of of Latifi's whole world.
Right, but Latifi took that fight
on super short notice
because somebody else got injured.
It was a last minute fight. It was Latifi's
first fight in the UFC.
Latifi doesn't have a good
Latifi doesn't have a good
like he doesn't have a big win.
This would be his biggest win by far in the UFC.
He doesn't really beat anyone that good. No no this would be his biggest opponent for sure, but he's a spooky dude
Oh, I hate this fight for Bader especially coming off a loss for Anthony Johnson in fucking Germany
Well the T phase a world-class wrestler to yes the other scary thing about so Bader is most likely
gonna be out wrestled by him like if they just go wrestling to wrestling. And Latife can starch you with one shot.
Like, he clipped him right there.
He just clipped him with a left hook.
Remember, Bader has power, too, though.
He does.
Remember, he had Glover on the ropes and then ate a fucking hook from Mars.
Well, he won the Ultimate Fighter by bombing on Vinny Magalese.
Yeah.
Remember that?
Yeah, he beat the Braves up.
And he wrestled in college, so he's loud.
ASU.
Him and Kane were on the same team.
He wrestled in college, so he's loud.
Him and Kane were on the same team.
But he's fighting a guy with a lot of gain and some serious power and a guy who doesn't have a lot of miles on him.
That was a good right hand there by Bader.
Latifi has a lot of miles on him because of the world wrestling shit.
Is he switching his stance?
You know what I'm saying, Joe?
Wrestling training, you mean?
Yeah, all that wrestling.
I mean, granted, Bader grew up wrestling too,
but a little different On the world level
Latife is really reaching
He's trying to close
The distance
Like with these
Frantic sprints
And Bader is like
Really elegantly
Sliding out of the way
Now remember
Bader's beat
Bader
Ooh nice
Bader's beat
Phil Davis
Rashad Evans
Like OSP
He's beat some
Fucking guys man
He's been in there
With way better competition
On 100% No question And here's the thing About Latife He's beat some fucking guys, man. He's been in there with way better competition. A hundred percent.
No question.
And here's the thing about Latife.
He's got this big power.
But if you look at his tactical approach, like how he's trying to approach Ryan, he's
trying to step and then bomb.
And if it works, look, if he catches you with one of those things, you're fucksville.
But a guy at Ryan's level, he shouldn't really be getting caught with that stuff.
So he switched up to wrestling and Ryan stuffed a takedown.
He shouldn't really be getting caught with that stuff.
So he switched up to wrestling and Ryan stuffed a takedown.
So now Aaliyah is definitely losing this round so far.
And he's losing it in terms of strategy, his ability to execute.
Is that how he switches to southpaw?
Oh!
Kick to the body by Bader.
306, 302, 301.
Three minutes into the first round. So if you want to sync it up with us.
Yeah, Latife does not look good right here.
He keeps getting clipped with the kick, and look how easy Bader blocked that punch
because it's obvious.
It's that looping right that comes.
Latifi even got double unders, couldn't take Bader down.
I mean, people underestimate Bader's wrestling.
They forget about it because he really doesn't use it that much.
It's interesting how there's certain things that you just absolutely predict
Right like if a guy catches your leg if you throw a right kick and the guy catches your leg
He's gonna throw a right hand like every time you know that right hands coming. You know it's
Unusual approaches to those real common situations. Oh
Oh the TFA throwing bombs get Gator a fucking face Bader clocked him with that
Southpaw there.
Yeah, Latife's trying to sprint at him in these exchanges.
He's going to catch a knee, man.
Latife's hair said, see ya.
Why not just shave it, right, fellas?
He's got most of it shaved.
I think he just lets it grow with his beard for a couple days.
Elir. That's a cool name. Yeah, it days. Elir.
That's a cool name.
Yeah, it is.
Elir.
So Bader is doing a lot of switching stances.
He looks great, man.
Yeah.
He looks real loose.
A big loss like the Johnson one, man, especially when he came off that huge win streak.
I'm sure he went back to the drawing board just to improve on stuff.
But if he can get past him and give him a Gusman next, he's right back up
in there, man. Especially at 205.
Who knows what's going to happen with John?
You got DC, Rumble, you know?
Yeah, I mean, everybody just assumes that if
Rumble catches you, you go to sleep, no matter who you are.
Well, that'd be correct, unless you're DC.
He did catch DC and drop him on his ass.
Bader, good technique there.
Holds the left hand high, pin to his face,
throws that counter right hand.
And he's able to throw, like, check hooks on both sides.
Look at Aaliyah.
Tries to take down. Dude, Bader is fucking on one tonight, man.
Latifi got double unders.
Couldn't do shit.
Yeah, it looks good, man.
Looks good.
And also, you've got to realize that Latifi, we're four minutes into this fight.
He's been unsuccessful for four minutes.
Mine's got to be fucking with him
Not even close either. Yeah, fuck with you. Oh, we just just connected my left hand. He just connected with a left hand
That's that's the danger of fighting this guy. Yeah, he's so much power. Look at him
The way you can see it coming from the fucking well
He's got to figure out a way, you know, you don't learn it. So you fight a guy like this
You got to figure out a way to do it technically and then bomb selectively correct these guys that try to bomb
Exclusively those guys go dry. They run out of gas, especially when you get in the top five. Yeah, I mean
15 you're you know, you're fine, but like I'm fired even Hector Lombard does that yeah, you know
And he's an experienced guy with a, you know, World Bellator Championship.
Oh!
That's what we were talking about.
He caught him!
That's what we were talking about.
He just needs to get out of this round.
Well, he should break free, man, and keep bombing.
Ryan Bader's in deep shit right now.
Bader's in deep shit.
Bader's in deep shit.
Bader's up, son.
Damn.
Bader's tough.
Dude, and let me tell you something.
Okay.
Fuck, you got out of the round.
How do you score the fight?
How do you score the fight? How do you score that round?
This is a good question.
He knocked him down.
So you've got to give it to Alifi.
Bader was winning for four minutes and 40 seconds of that fight.
Still.
He knocked him down.
It's the end of the round and he got the knockdown.
That's a legit knockdown.
There's no way you're going to give it to Bader. There's no way you're going to give it to Bader.
There's no way you're going to give it to Bader.
It was the end of the round, and he got knocked down.
I'd give it a draw.
Dude, it was the end of the round, and he got knocked down, and you're going to give it to Bader?
Okay, but a knockdown.
That's ridiculous.
But a knockdown, and scoring-wise, in MMA, is not the same as a knockdown in boxing.
If it was boxing, that would be either a 10-8 round or a 9-9 round.
It's all based on boxing, though.
It was all striking. It was not grappling. It was not grappling. It was-9 round. It's all based on boxing, though. It was all striking.
There was no grappling.
There was no grappling.
It was a boxing round.
So let me ask you this, Eddie.
No, no, but that's what I mean by boxing scoring.
In boxing scoring, when a guy gets knocked down, you lose a point.
Okay, give it to Bader, then.
No, I'm not saying that.
No, I'm not saying that.
Eddie Bryant.
So let's say he knocked him down in the first 20 seconds of that fight, and then Bader won.
The rest, 4 minutes and 40 seconds.
Who would you give the round to?
That's different.
Probably.
It's not the same. It is the same. You described a totally different. It's a whole different situation. It's not the same.
It is the same.
You described a totally different situation.
No, I didn't.
It's the end of the round, and he got knocked down.
So the end of the round means more.
At the end of the round.
No, it doesn't.
I would personally count how you're doing toward the end of the fight.
Guys can't talk over each other, please.
That's not the way the judging works, fellas.
I hate to tell you.
Yeah, well, that's true.
It's true.
As far as what the fight is or how it's being judged because of the rules, we're talking about two totally different things.
If you're looking at the fight, yeah.
If this was a fight in the street and Latife got pulled off of him at the last second, everybody would think Latife won.
Well, that's like the Nate Diaz fight.
Even in the sport, he won.
He knocked him down.
At the very least, he made it a debate.
That fight could have been over right there with some more time.
Yeah, but he survived.
It doesn't matter.
You got Bader on that round?
I have a draw.
Take it, take it, take it.
I have a draw.
A draw.
Yeah.
It could be.
He never hurt anybody.
I didn't see Bader doing anything besides stuffing takedowns, though.
He didn't really connect a lot.
He's got his front headlock here.
Octagon control, forward aggression.
That means Bader's probably kind of tired.
And he got clipped there.
That's true. He was pressing it the whole time.
You guys just got to know how they score the round.
I want to know how you scored it,
not how other people scored it.
I would give that a draw.
An even round.
Just because one guy did something with the last 20 seconds.
That's like saying the Conor Diaz fight. Man, if that
was a fight fight, Diaz would probably
win, right? I'm just talking about the sport. I'm not talking about
Ali.
Latife threw a punch. I always, like, flinch
when dudes throw a punch and they land with the thumb.
Oh, dude. You know, and they throw that, like,
right hook, but it doesn't land knuckles.
That's why I have this fucking earthworm scar on my arm.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Because I land on that and it fucking compound fractured.
Yeah, but T-Fade just did that.
He just threw a whipping bomb of a right hand.
He landed with his thumb and I went, oof.
And it usually lands on like skull, like not on chin.
It's the worst.
It just shatters your bone.
Keep an eye on his right hand.
I shattered my right thumb and when I got a surgery, I asked the doctor, how's the scar?
I went, I did my best.
It looks like a fucking centipede on my right thumb and when I got a surgery I asked the doctor how's the scar I went I did my best it looks like a fucking
it looks like a centipede
on my right hand
so you're saying
it comes from
throwing that over
that long hook
yeah like a straight arm hook
and you hit with the thumb
oh
oh my god
how did you score it now
there it is
there it is
god damn
Ryan Bader
holy shit
how did you score that one
he kept going down like that.
That's what I said.
He kept like.
That makes it easy.
That makes it easy.
He kept dipping his head, man.
He's going to get caught eventually.
God, Bader got away with fucking that.
That was rough.
Ryan Bader.
Congrats.
That's huge, Bader.
That's huge.
Such a dangerous fight.
Jesus.
Such a dangerous fight and hurt at the end of the first round and comes back with that
shot.
Holy fuck, man.
Yeah.
Now, was that a kick or a knee?
It was a knee.
He kept going down like that because he's a southpaw.
Let's see.
Circling.
I think he was doing both.
See, he was going for a kick.
It was a kick.
It was just more.
That's awful.
Oh, my God.
Look at that.
Walk away.
Look at this.
Yeah, boom.
Yeah, that was a kick that landed on the knee.
That's dangerous.
That looks awful.
God, it was perfect timing, though. Beautiful. Holy shit. Goddamn, that was good. He landed two of knee. That's dangerous. That looks awful. God, it was perfect timing, though.
Beautiful.
Holy shit.
God damn, that was good.
He landed two of those in the first round.
Look at this.
Boom!
Actually, that kind of looks like a knee.
It's like he adjusted.
It definitely landed.
It looks like he was going for a kick and then just fall through on the knee.
I think he might have adjusted and turned it into a knee.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
But being a wrestler, his instinct looked like he just would keep going for that double when he got in trouble.
God damn, Ryan Baker.
Holy shit, that's huge.
Such a big win for him.
Coming off that loss, dude, to get a knockout win.
Top four.
You're getting guffs for next, son.
Enjoy that.
It's a tough fight.
Joe Silva's out, so I make the matchups now.
So is that it?
Is Joe Silva definitely out now?
Yeah, he's retiring.
He said, I made banks, son. See ya. Is he done this year? End of the year. Is he done right now? End of the year. I make the matchups now. So is that it? Is Joe Silva definitely out now? Yeah, he's retiring. He said, I made banks, son.
Is he done this year?
End of the year.
Wow. He said, I made my money.
Fuck this silly matchup stuff.
Good for him. Sean Shelby, take care of this.
He must have gotten paid.
That's what they say.
Paid.
Paid.
Paid.
And what's he do after this?
Just lead the troll charge online?
Joe Silva just starts doing UFC porn.
Does he just lead the troll charge?
He's the head troll online now?
Cut to Joe Silva's next project.
Quick YouTube clip.
Him in a diaper.
Pink cage.
Bam.
Coming soon.
He may be short, but he's got a dick.
And just all big dudes in MMA gloves.
Boom!
Yeah, it's like he was going for a kick and then adjusted in mid-swing
and turned into a perfect knee.
You can see it.
Look at this.
Bam!
Yeah, see how he turned to hit the knee in?
That's awful.
Yeah, beautiful.
Fuck, that's awful.
Fuck, man, that's amazing.
Good for Ryan Bader.
Congratulations.
God, that's huge.
It's amazing, again, that he's only 33.
I mean, we've seen this dude in the UFC for a long time,
but realistically, he's in his prime right now.
Right now.
Yeah.
Right now.
32 to 35, you start.
Experience, too.
Especially light heavyweight or heavyweight.
Around 35, 36, you start going, hmm, if you're not doing anything,
how long can you keep this up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you're not on an upward how long can you keep this up? Yeah. Yeah.
If you're not on an upward trajectory, it's not going to.
Hey, let me ask you that because you just had Scott Coker on, who I'm a big fan of.
Such a good dude.
Yeah, great guy.
And he's running Bellator now.
Wish him all the luck in the world.
Powerful Matt Hughes.
That's a chin.
That's an American chin right there. That's a fucking American haircut.
That's an American period. G.I. Joe, you fucks. Him and Henzo in Abu Dhabi. Hear about that? Yeah, they're going to have a grappling match. Yeah. That's a chin. That's an American chin right there. That's a fucking American haircut. That's an American period.
G.I. Joe, you fucks.
Him and Henzo in Abu Dhabi.
Hear about that?
Yeah, they're going to have
a grappling match.
That's awesome.
But Scott Coker running Bellator,
if you're a fighter
and you know Cajun,
you know you lack a little help,
you know, in training,
sometimes we're tired
and, you know,
just a little pick me up,
you know, run away from the doctor and, you know, no one need pick me up, you know, run away from the doctor.
And, you know, no one needs to know a couple days I'll be back, my friend.
My friend.
People, you know, they've been doing that since the beginning of time.
They've been taking a little something, something, and then they get to the weigh-in.
All they have to do is pass what most fighters call the intelligence test.
Yes.
Don't get popped after the fight.
You know, so it'll help you with your training.
And how many guys are, like, looking at Bellator and saying, well, there's no USADA over there?
I can fight longer.
Oh, not only longer.
Into my 30s.
How about better?
Yeah, better.
How about way better?
That'd be better.
And I can have all my sponsors.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, well, we can't find Brendan.
He's on a mountain somewhere in Colorado, and we can't get a piss test off of him. Meanwhile,
he's just out there, just veins coming
out of your dick and your face and your
tongue has veins. Rocky Mountain
oysters. He's just doing deadlifts.
Fuck a little TV.
34, 35, 36.
Yeah, man.
I mean, there's a real
incentive to go there. A real incentive. And then there's a financial
incentive because you can keep all your sponsors.
You don't have to worry about having a Reebok paired shorts on.
You can have Nike and fucking Under Armour and Condom Depot and whatever the fuck you want.
Well, that's what's going on with GSP and UFC, right?
Like, GSP goes, so I retired, but his contract freezes.
So the contract doesn't change because the last time he fought was 2013.
He still has that old contract. So when he comes back, they just go, yeah, turn the contract back on. He's last time you fought was 2013 he still has that old contract
So when he comes back, they just go yeah turn the contract back on he's like whoa
Whoa, when I was fighting for this money from the UFC I had Under Armour
I had all these you know that all these crazy brands. I'm making tens of millions of dollars
You know you gotta make up for that and they're going now we're good
He's like no you can't do that. I'm fucking George St. Pierre
that and they're going no we're good he's like no you can't do that i'm fucking george saint pierre did you see the the war of words he's been having with dana where dana's like he really doesn't want
to fight doesn't want to fight at a championship level and then he does not know me yeah give me
one fight know me give me he goes give me one fight i'll show you who wants to fight
but how much money do you fucking need ufc just pay the man here's the thing from my perspective
you can never say that a guy like George
doesn't want it anymore unless he fights.
You cannot say that. He is the
greatest welterweight of all. There's two guys.
There's Matt Hughes and there's
George St. Pierre. Those are the two
without a doubt greatest welterweights
historically ever.
So if either one of those guys wants to fight again
the last thing you can say
is he doesn't want it.
Because only he knows if he wants it.
He's the baddest motherfucker that ever weighed in at 170 pounds and fought.
And fought everybody.
He might go to Bellator.
No, he can't.
You'll see he owns his contract.
But if I was Dana, I'd probably say the same shit.
100%.
All they're doing is playing the game.
To get him fired up.
I will sign your contract. I'll sign it. I'll fucking sign it. Nah, he get him fired up. I will sign your contract.
I'll sign it. I'll fucking sign it.
Nah, he don't want it.
I'll do it for free. Fuck it.
Give me that Reebok kit.
All the money will go to my country.
George is too smart. You hear me? He goes, I know what Dana's trying to do.
He goes, I'm too smart to play these games. I'll sit out.
Like, it's not gonna happen.
Is he sitting out for more money? Is that what the deal is?
Why don't you take over Joe Silva's job?
Why don't you call Dana and say
Yo bygones
Let's let this shit go by
Water under the bridge
Holla at me dude
I got some ideas
I got some ideas
I got some ideas
Plus I got flavor
And a number one podcast
Come with me son
Let's take a ride
Let's do this
Let's take a ride
Let's take a ride
Come on man
You wanna have some fun?
Have a dude that you argue with all the time
And you guys publicly have little spats Everybody gets excited Come on Talking man. You want to have some fun? Have a dude that you argue with all the time, and you guys publicly have little spats.
Everybody gets excited.
Come on!
Let's do this!
Mix it up!
Spit in my hand!
Come on, it's all good, man.
Shake!
I can't wear Reeboks, though.
That's the one stickler.
Would you wear Yeezys, you fucking dunce?
You're fucking right.
You're fucking right, I would.
I thought Yeezys were better.
I thought I had them on right now. That's a large Serbian man or whatever he is. You're fucking right. I would. That's how Yeezys are better. I thought I had them on right now.
That's a large Serbian man or whatever he is.
Look at what I'm wearing here.
You got Chucks.
These are like some slick looking Chucks, but these are old school Chuck Taylor Converse.
I'm not mad at them.
Thin sole.
You feel the ground.
Those are classics.
Quite flexible.
Yeezy.
They're not comfortable.
What?
How dare you?
How dare you?
For a long day, there's not much comfort.
Although they redid the soles on those.
I don't like the new ones.
Nike makes the soles now.
I don't like the new ones as much.
I wear them.
I like them.
They're okay.
I should say I don't like them.
I prefer these.
Those are second.
You prefer the old school fucking wood bottoms.
Yeah, like these, man.
These ones that, oh, what's this guy's name?
Those are new, son.
VM Footwear.
But these are not new.
These are the old school Converse.
Instagram, VM Footwear. Check them out. BM Footwear. V, VM. VM Footwear. But these are not new. These are the old school Converse. Instagram, VM Footwear.
Check them out.
BM Footwear.
VM.
VM.
Don't go BM.
That's body bowel movement.
This dude made some.
Even these are upgraded, son.
I don't believe so, buddy.
Yeah, feel the sole.
Feel the inside.
Oh, Brendan knows shoes.
You can see it.
Brendan knows shoes.
Is there a Lunar Lawn on there?
Where?
Is it green?
No, no, no.
They're not the Nike Lunar Lawn.
They're just, the padding on the bottom is thicker than what they used to be.
Way thicker.
Okay, the inside, like the insole.
Yeah, but it's not the Nike Lunar.
They're still fucking hard as fuck.
The sole's the same, but the insole's quite a little bit thicker.
Either way, that's what I like.
I like old school Chucks, because they're flat.
That's like how your foot's supposed to be.
When you wear things with an elevated heel, like a running shoe, it's not really supposed
to be very good for you.
Really?
Yeah, your body doesn't want to be elevated in your heel like that you're supposed
to wear cowboy boots like eddie when you lifted you would always lift with these on right yep
yeah they're they're they're real thin you know that's why i wear ninja slippers that's a fucking
shoe there joe can we get you to wear some yeezys no why it's a terrible they're the worst they're
the worst running in those things look why does it have a thin sole where the toes are?
It's a running shoe.
Shut your fucking mouth.
And a fat sole down there.
Why?
For pure comfort.
Nobody's running in those.
Get out of here.
It is a running shoe.
People work out in them all the time, too.
How dare you?
You do not work out in these.
I don't.
People do, though, at the gym.
I just don't think that they're that cool looking.
I don't like them.
Well, you're 50.
I don't think you're the demographic.
Nah, they still just don't. You wouldn't know, though. Aesthetically them. Well, you're 50. I don't think you're the demographic right now. Nah, they still just don't.
You wouldn't know, though.
Aesthetically, they kind of suck, dude.
You wouldn't know, though.
You and Jamie are on the wrong side of history with these stupid shoes.
I don't think so.
Well, I have cons, too.
You're going to look back on those shoes like people do, and you're going to be like, I
can't believe I wore those back in the 2000s.
You know what I will never look back on?
Me wearing sandals with jeans like you do all the time.
And I will never.
You just can't do that.
Jesus did it, so kiss my ass
I guess Jesus is wrong too
Dead wrong
I always forget about Gustafson
When I think about the division
Such a badass
And also Gustafson is one of those guys
That's been talking about retirement
He's talked about ending it soon
He went down to San Diego
Because he wanted to find the passion again.
I guess he still didn't find it.
So that's why they kind of...
Are you sure?
This is kind of a toss-up fight.
Yeah, he's still...
You're saying he's still having some struggles with it.
Well, he's been public about that?
Oh, yeah.
While training?
Oh, yeah.
For this fight?
That might be a trap.
What?
Who is the guy he's fighting?
He's a tough dude, man.
Compare to Gustafson, he's a joke.
Well, he's not a joke.
He's just inexperienced in comparison to Gusvison.
But he's a dangerous guy.
He's from Poland.
They don't fuck around, dude.
They see him there.
Gusvin is the fucking, you know what I'm saying?
He's that one percenter.
He almost beat fucking DC.
He almost beat John.
And then he got that freak knockout by Johnson.
He's lost to just the 1% of 1%.
True, true.
True, true.
It's tough, man.
Yeah, Blakovich is certainly, this is like, without a doubt, like the toughest fight he's ever had.
What are you looking for?
That guy looks like a bad guy from the James Bond movie.
The guy on his right.
Look at that guy.
Yeah, he really does.
Jesus, he looks tough.
Definitely killed people.
Yeah, he's like the guy
that james bond has to fight yes like an elevator and yes kills him with a pen he looks rough like
the suit he's wearing a suit and it just it's impossible to be elegant with that he just looks
brutal it's not a well-tailored suit either is it it doesn't look it's not at home in a suit he's
home in camo with a knife or a loincloth did he leave his yeezys at home in a suit. He's at home in camo. Camo? With a knife. Or a loincloth.
Did he leave his Yeezys at home?
That guy doesn't wear the Yeezys.
Well, he can't get a hold of them.
Yeezys melt off his feet.
They're so exclusive.
It's tough to get a hold of them.
What about fake Yeezys from China?
Is that super popular?
It's super popular, but it's very easy to tell.
Me and Brian were at lunch the other day.
Four guys had them on.
I went, Brian, you want to see fake Yeezys?
How could you tell?
He's got an eye, man.
He's got an eagle eye for that shit. how could you tell he's got an eye man he's got an eagle eye
for that shit
how could you tell
there's little things
like on the Converse
you know like
maybe the star is black
on the Converse
on the Yeezys
the stitching on the back
is different
the space between
the soles is different
he's like a sneaker connoisseur
I can't believe it
he's like smelling him
like a fine wine
he'll have conversations
about it
no
the glue is from Indonesia
this is fake
no you know what it is Joe it'd be the same if someone bought a Z28 No, you won't. No. The glue is from Indonesia. This is fake.
No, you know what it is, Joe?
It'd be the same as someone bought a Z28 and then put SS badges on it.
Well, those rims are different.
Right.
The exhaust is different.
Right. The interior is different.
Let me see the engine.
God damn it.
You're honey dicking me.
This ain't a fucking SS.
Cars are just like shoes.
Exactly.
Details.
It's all in the details, kids.
Exactly. All in It's all in the details, kids. Exactly.
All in the deets.
Dude, how about your boy Damian Maia?
Dude.
Dude, his jiu-jitsu is so next level.
For him to do that to Condit, just slice through him like butter.
Dude, can you imagine, let's say Wonderboy beats Woodley,
and then you have Damian Maia versus Wonderboy.
It would be like Hot Tub Time Machine 1993. imagine let's say wonder boy beats woodley and then you have damian maya versus wonder boy it'd
be like hot tub time machine 1993 because you have one guy who just does jujitsu one guy that just
does stand up well in 2016 he doesn't just do jujitsu the reason why he's able to pull off his
his beautiful jujitsu is because it's wrestling he can take everybody down at 170 it doesn't matter
for sure for sure but it's still but it's still one aspect of MMA compared to one aspect of MMA in 2016.
But at the highest of highest levels.
It's fucking dope.
It's a throwback.
It's dope.
It's like Hot Tub Time Machine, but we just, you know what I'm saying?
They went back, but their skills are ridiculous.
It's so equivalent because one guy is this elite world-class striker,
and this other guy is this elite world-class grappler who, like,
they could compete outside of the UFC in striking or in grappling.
If Wonderboy took on a kickboxing bout in glory, he'd be very competitive with some of the best kickboxers in the world.
And if Damian Maia entered into a major jiu-jitsu competition tomorrow, he'd be very competitive against some of the best grapplers in the world.
It's really crazy.
It's cool, right?
Isn't it cool in 2016 to have that crazy dynamic?
I can't think of last time something like... Generally,
most UFC fighters,
most of them, they couldn't
go into Abu Dhabi or even
EBI and they would get smashed.
Unless they're a high-level wrestler.
It'd be tough. Even a high-level wrestler
like in the submission-only tournament,
they got leg-locked.
EBI different. Abu Dhabi submission only but like EBI different
Abu Dhabi
there's some high level wrestlers
guys that jump in there
with not a ton of jiu jitsu experience
exactly
and Abu Dhabi
because of the point system
wrestling becomes
fucking everything
correct
that's why you can see
some guys
all the Brazilians
when they're getting ready
for Abu Dhabi
they're going to wrestling camps
they're with the church boys
and all that
because Abu Dhabi
counts takedowns or what
we should just explain that Abu Dhabi
is the Abu Dhabi Combat Club. This is like
the biggest submission grappling.
It's like the Olympics for jiu-jitsu. Yeah.
Sheikh Taknoon, a guy who owns
I think he owns 10% of the UFC.
He also is
a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu under
Henzo Gracie. And he
puts on these grappling competitions
that are just monstrous.
They spend money, and they have the best fighters in the world, and they put together.
They should really adopt EBI rules, dude.
It's like blood sport for jiu-jitsu.
EBI rules need to be standard, Ejibra.
Now, EBI rules, how many tournaments are switching?
I see it.
Many, many tournaments are switching to EBI rules.
That makes sense.
Sonnen went to it.
Chael Sonnen's tournament went to it.
Yeah, he did.
Yep.
It's smart.
It's the most exciting set of rules by far.
By far.
Not even close.
Thank you, man.
Brilliant.
Thank you.
You nailed it.
You guys going to the show next week?
Nah, Jihad.
Are you going?
Yeah, Jihad.
Sunday?
You going?
Where's it at?
Next Sunday at the Orpheum.
LA?
LA, downtown at the Orpheum.
Yeah, I'll be there.
Let's go.
Get your tickets at ebiofficial.com.
We're in.
Oh, for sure?
Yeah.
What about you, Brian?
I'll come.
Next Sunday. It's going to be fucking amazing. Gordon Ryan. I might be in New York, for sure? What about you, Brian? I'll come. Next Sunday.
It's going to be fucking amazing.
Gordon Ryan.
I might be in New York City.
Gordon Ryan is the best
jiu-jitsu player on the planet right now.
I'm doing Gotham Comedy Club.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
September 16th and 17th.
When is it?
11th.
September 11th.
September 11th.
I'll be around.
Tower 7 day.
Did you guys see Gordon Ryan
versus Keenan Cornelius
go for what, 90 minutes?
90 minutes, yeah.
Did you see that?
Keenan's a monster.
Keenan's a monster,
but Gordon Ryan beat him, man.
Tapped him.
Yep.
20 years old.
Kid's been training jujitsu four and a half years.
Jesus Christ.
They went 90.
But Keenan Cornelius is going to do EBI November 6th.
We're doing the light heavyweights, and Gordon Ryan's going to do that one as well.
I love Keenan.
But next Sunday is 185.
Next Sunday is 185.
It's the middleweights, EBI, downtown LA, the Orpheum.
What time does it start?
At 5 o'clock.
Okay, cool.
It's going to be on UFC Fight Pass, but for those of you that don't live in Southern California.
Yeah, UFC Fight Pass, stepping up.
I love it.
Yeah, man.
It's so cool that they did that.
Okay, here we go.
We got Gustafson versus Blakovich.
Gustafson got checked.
I would be willing to bet if Gustafson for whatever reason loses fight is done fighting
Blachowicz with a right hand over the top
Gustafson's so fucking big. I think you say Blachowicz is the way you're supposed to say it
Blachowicz. I'm saying Blachowicz. I think it's Blachowicz. I like Blachowicz. Just call him the block son. The block. Talking about the block. The bloho
The bloho. No that doesn't work. Yeah. I like the block.
The blow-ho.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
I don't like the way Gustafson's looking.
Blachowicz keeps his head right in the center when he's throwing bombs against a really elite guy.
He stiffens up a little bit when he's standing up.
He could get clipped with counters.
Gustafson and I trained together for my Mitrione fight, and he went six rounds with a world-class boxer, and it was fucking a war.
And then jumped in and went three rounds with me back-to-back.
Wow.
He's a fucking animal.
He's a fucking animal.
He's a tough guy.
And you know what?
I mean—
Powerful CM Punk for Mickey Gall sponsor on the back there.
Where is that?
Oh, right there on the wall?
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, well, I mean, he's a famous guy.
Look, the CM Punk thing, the thing that's most interesting about it is that he took
all this time.
Whoa, Blachowicz is throwing some bombs.
But he's stiff.
Stiff with the neck.
Stiff in there.
He's like really...
This man's reach is so good.
Yeah.
Not in this fight.
But usually it's fucking on point.
His jab's world class. Well, Blachowicz is fighting really well. But usually it's fucking on point.
His jab's world class.
Well, Blachowicz is fighting really well.
Yeah, he's fighting really, really well.
He's very stiff.
He's using up a lot of energy.
I'll tell you what a surprise is.
Gustafson's wrestling, man.
His counter-wrestling is amazing.
Well, when he took John down in the first round, everybody was like, oh, shit.
Called that.
Because I was wrestling with his ass.
I'm like, Jesus Christ. Do you really think he was going to take John down?
I did.
I called it. Wow. wrestling with his ass. Do you really think he was going to take John down? I did. I called it.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Because his wrestling is so unexpecting and good.
Wow.
That's impressive.
He's so big for a 205 or two, man.
He's tall as shit.
6'5", man.
Yeah, I always wonder, what does a guy like that walk around at?
He's like high 220s, 230s sometimes.
So with a guy like him, do you think there'd be any benefit
in a rigorous strength and conditioning program and moving up?
To heavyweight?
Yeah.
I mean, him versus Stipe would be a hell of a fight,
but I think when you fight guys like Rothwell,
like Stipe, JDS, Kane, I think he might be all right.
I don't know if he doesn't possess the power.
That's the problem.
I don't know, man.
He's knocked guys out.
He knocked Jimmy Mano out.
I just wonder.
Name a high-level guy that he's knocked out, though.
Well, Mano is pretty high-level.
Take it easy.
Oh, Darian.
Let's just be real.
I'm talking about when you're talking about Jon Jones, DC, you're talking about one percenters.
But the only guy out of that group that stopped him was Rumble.
And Rumble can stop anybody.
And if you look at the way Rumble stopped him, it's actually arguably more impressive
that he lasted as long as he did.
Yeah, I agree.
When Rumble was bombing on him.
I agree.
But those extra shots that he took, those don't help you.
Not at all.
What's like...
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
He's making a dogfight. What's like Carlos Condit, right? He loses that fight and he's like, I don't know if I Not at all. What's like, oh my God. Oh, shit. He's making a dog fight.
What's like Carlos Condit, right?
Like, he loses that fight, and he's like, I don't know if I want to do this anymore.
Then I heard his coach on the interview, Brandon Gibson, powerful Brandon Gibson.
There's his wrestling.
Gustafson with the takedown.
Gibson talking about, I don't know if he wants to do anymore.
He wants to move on, do other stuff.
It's time to get out, man.
He can still beat 98% of the division, but still, man, get the fuck out, Condit.
He's also a smart guy.
Very smart.
And when you're that smart, you're aware, like, okay, how many more shots am I going to be able to take?
Well, he was at like, what was he, 16, 17, doing Valley Tudor, bare knuckle boxing and shit?
Like, he's a nightmare.
At that age?
Yeah.
He fought his first ever kickboxing match against Andy Sauer, who's a world champion.
If you don't know who Andy Sauer is, fucking Google or YouTube him.
I marvel at how good he's always been.
Andy Sauer is like a phenom, like a world champion, multiple-time world champion.
That was Carlos' first kickboxing bout.
It's so insane that he took that fight. He's done knuckles stuff he's you know he's just been fighting forever man
so that you know the head trauma and he's like you said he's a smart guy he talks about it he's open
about it what's he talking what he said about head trauma stuff or yeah just like it's a concern of
his and he doesn't know if he wants to keep doing and stuff like that he has a second or third baby
on the way i think so this guy's probably got some money in the bank, I hope.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know how much money he's made.
It's tough with a guy like that.
He was an interim champ, right?
Yeah.
And then he's always fought top five level,
but to really make that crazy retirement money,
you've got to be a guy like GSP, Conor, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, or you've got to figure out some way to market yourself outside of the UFC.
I mean, there's got to be something. Like Alane band's doing modeling you know you broke off into podcasting there's got to be like
another way as well just but to only rely on your success in athletic contests to make your money
you almost have to joe yeah because damian is not thinking about making money anywhere else
condit right now can open up an MMA gym and make plenty of money.
That's tough, man.
I think that's easier said than done.
No, it's not that hard.
You're a UFC fighter.
You're Condit.
The UFC gyms would beg to differ.
Verdum's.
What do you say to that?
They're not doing well?
I'm just saying in general, if you go off the general consensus of opening a gym,
you don't get your money back
or return within four years.
It's not a smart business to go into.
If you're a black belt
and you're a legit...
If you're a UFC fighter
and you're a black belt
and you're not...
I'm in the...
This is my business.
You're a great teacher.
I have 60...
Hold on, let him talk.
No.
He doesn't even have to teach.
He doesn't trust me.
It's... He could make plenty of money talk. No. He doesn't even have to teach. He doesn't. Trust me.
He could make plenty of money with just his own
gym. Have two gyms. Super
easy. You just got to be a
black belt at the marketing. Learn the marketing. Learn
how to do it. He's got a black belt and
he's a UFC fighter. I know guys that are
purple belts
that are making a living. They just have the
marketing down. It's huge.
It's still growing.
It's expanding.
Jiu-jitsu schools and MMA gyms, done right,
it really is like the gold rush right now.
I agree 100%.
People are just putting up.
It's wide open.
Now you're assuming he has the money put down to open a gym.
He could do it easy.
Easy.
Open down.
A million percent easy.
Carlos Condit?
That guy's a
famous UFC star
and a black belt
I'm not saying he can't
I think to assume
a guy can open a gym
and make a shitload of money
is
a million percent
a million percent
so anyone in the UFC
could do it
if you're a black belt
if you're a
if you're a legit
black belt
and you've
you've had success
in the UFC
remember
I mean
like I just said
I've had guys that haven't been in the UFC,
not even black belts, and they're being successful.
It is two different skillsets.
You just got to know the business.
That's a big if, though.
Am I wrong here, Joe?
Running a business and knowing how to fight
is a completely different world.
Yes, that's why I said if you master the marketing
and the business side.
That's a big if.
It's easy, though.
If you learn how to speak Spanish, you could write awesome books.
No, but it's easier than learning Spanish.
It's easier than that.
I believe it.
The motivation is there, too, because it's like your money and it's your family.
It's not that hard at all.
Learning how to coach.
I deal with this every day.
I deal with this every day.
And you're brilliant at it.
You're a really good coach, though.
It doesn't mean it's easy, though.
There's a lot of guys that are just not good at coaching.
Thank you, by the way.
But it's easy.
It's easy.
All you got to do is know the system and work hard.
That's it.
You work hard.
If you're lazy, it ain't going to happen.
Yeah, but that's the truth with everything.
Yeah.
There's so many people that are looking for things to be happening.
No, no, but there's a lot of things that require the shit that you can never learn,
like being a stand-up comedian.
Not everybody can do that, right?
Not everybody.
Not everybody could be a singer.
Not everybody.
But everybody can do certain things in business. All you got to do is do the work and not be lazy and you can make it happen.
You don't need special talent.
Blachowicz cannot get off his back.
Powerful wrestling by Alexander.
Yeah, he's getting smushed.
He's getting a lot of elbows.
I agree with you, Brandon, a million percent.
Once a fighter starts doubting whether they have the heart,
I think it's time to just transition.
Especially a guy like Carlos.
It's time to transition.
It's also an absolute fact that when you get hit in the head a lot,
it starts to affect your enthusiasm.
It starts to affect your endocrine system.
There's a potential like, you know, I know a guy who's a world-class boxer, and I know a friend who trains him,
who said that he absolutely has pituitary gland damage, and he has a really hard time getting the energy up to train.
And he had his testosterone checked, and it's just ridiculously low.
And there's nothing they can do about it because the supplemented is illegal so they can't supplement his testosterone so this
guy is forced to fight with low testosterone low enthusiasm he just can't muster up the kind of
performances he had earlier in his career and that's super common man when you see fighters
slow down as they get older it is not just because they're older that's because they're older and
they've taken a lot of punishment.
Those are the big factors.
And it causes a physiological change in their body.
Yep.
Well, you see some guys like Chinzo Machida.
Chinzo is like 39 years old, but he doesn't have a lot of fights on him.
And so he's fighting in Bellator now.
He looks like a world beater.
He looks fucking fantastic.
Starching dude.
Damn, starching dude.
Kicks.
Starching good.
He looks like his brother in a lot of ways. He looks like Lyoto. Maybe even a little more aggressive than Lyoto. He's fucking fantastic. Starching dude. Knees. Starching good. Kicks. Starching good. He looks like his brother in a lot of ways.
He looks like Lyoto.
Maybe even a little more aggressive than Lyoto.
He's aggressive.
He's more wild, I would say.
How's his jiu-jitsu and stuff?
Very good.
Great. Well, he's an elite martial artist.
He grew up doing all the Jinzo Machida.
Such a good guy, too?
I bet.
Oh, he's a good guy.
Well, Lyoto's an awesome guy.
Yeah, they're all great.
But the point being that that guy hasn't taken a lot of mileage.
So even though he's 39 years old, he looks fucking good.
He doesn't look like a 39-year-old guy who's at the tail end of a long MMA career.
He's got all these injuries he's constantly struggling against and can't get through camp without getting hurt.
It's not like that.
You're looking at a guy who's—
A lot of scar tissue.
Yeah.
Well, that's like the CM Punk argument, right?
He's 37 or 38 whatever he is
and he has a lot of injuries coming from professional wrestling and he's never done
the sport so then he has to train two years and then go into it you're talking about a different
animal it's not a good fucking it's not like if you look at it like a plan and like this is way
i want to get into mma it's not a good plan, but this is the plan that he was dealt.
I mean, he's 37 years old.
He decides he's going to do it now.
He does a lot of things that I like.
He goes to Rufus Sport, which is an outstanding gym.
He's working with world-class trainers and world-class sparring partners.
And then on top of that, he took two whole years.
So it's as good as the guy could do.
Two whole years?
Two whole years.
Think about Damien Maia's damage he's taken throughout his career.
He hasn't really taken any damage.
He's taken 13 punches in his last, what, four fights?
Yeah, 13.
It's incredible.
What the fuck?
What fight was he involved in that he received the most damage?
Nate Marquardt starched him with one punch.
Oh, really?
Knocked him out?
Knocked him out.
He went to kick.
He struggled for a while there.
You know what he did? He figured
there's a guy who broke down all his jiu-jitsu
on YouTube into four parts.
It's pretty fucking interesting. You go through his
early decisions on
the ground to the decisions he's making
now. He
has got this path.
Well, the passes
that he's using now, he kind of tripods,
and it's kind of like a smash pass.
He gets to top half.
He knows that if he just hovers over, keeps his head on his opponent's chest,
and he's pinning him down, and he gets to top half.
He doesn't even need to pass, and then he turns.
He's not taking any damage.
Then he goes to three-quarter mount.
And then from there, he throws a couple punches.
The guy gives him his back because in three-quarter mount, you basically already have a hook in.
He's figured out this path.
Nice and simple.
There's so many things you can do as a jiu-jitsu black belt to pass your first initial move.
There's all these passes.
He has chosen the passes
to the mount
and to the back. That path
is the best path.
He's 38 too, right?
He's 39.
If he's smart, if I'm his management
and people get mad when I do this shit, but
he's not fighting anyone
until he gets a title shot. Six in a row,
you don't fight anyone. Well, you know what's really interesting?
Jake Shields beat him, and he out-grappled him.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Look at the list Jake Shields beat.
Don't ever forget how goddamn good Jake Shields is.
And he just submitted Lyoto Machida, by the way, in a grappling competition.
And he beat Woodley.
He beat Woodley.
He beat my—you know, he's beat every—you look at the top five guys.
Jake Shields is a stud.
Didn't he fight Robbie Lawler and beat Robbie?
He beat Robbie.
Submitted him.
Standing guillotine.
Jumped up, grabbed a hold of his neck, and Robbie was like, what's this?
This is a world-class squeeze, son.
This is a vegan squeeze.
Look at what Maya's doing on his back.
What Maya's doing on his back, there's a million things you can do.
There's all these styles.
He's keeping it nice and simple.
All Damon Maya is looking for when he's on his back is the underhook. Everything is a set up to the underhook He gets in a Z guard he covered he times the punch as soon as you throw a right punch
He shoots in he has like a Z guard then he shoots in grabs the underhook and either gets on top and they stand
Just like Chuck Liddell used to do with the underhook, or he uses that to sweep them like he'll get into dogfight and he'll go through them.
He keeps it simple.
When I see a guy like him, I want to see him fight a guy who's a world-class jiu-jitsu guy with a wicked guard,
like a Braulio Estima, like someone who's nasty off of his back.
You want to see Damien.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I see Damien.
He's going to do the exact same path, whether the guy knows jiu-jitsu or not.
The path that he's chosen from the bottom and from the top, no matter who he's going with,
that's the best path when there's no gi, when there's punches, when there's elbows.
Damien Maia just dwindled everything down to keeping it nice and simple.
On his back, it's just the underhook.
You know what's funny?
I'm sure he would do it, but my question is,
would he be able to execute that kind of a strategy
against a guy like Braulio Esteem?
It would be harder.
Yeah, that's why I want to see it.
I want to see what a guy with a world-class guard.
And Braulio does a lot of weird stuff, too.
Like, he's got that triangle that he does,
like that underneath triangle.
You know that weird, like, backwards triangle he does?
Is he doing MMA?
Yeah, he's doing MMA.
Braulio Esteem is doing MMA. Yeah, he's doing MMA. He's doing some fights.
Yeah, he's doing some fights. Holy shit.
When I watch someone like Damian Maia
because I don't have that much of a trained eye,
it doesn't look like he's doing anything different
than everybody else when he takes
your back or when he's on top of you
and he's controlling you. And what's
interesting is the subtlety of jujitsu
on that level that unless you have
a cultivated eye eye it just looks
like he's wearing him like a sweater he's he's kind of he's controlling the arm he's coming in
he somehow gets that figure four around his stomach but there's no way you're getting that
dude off you're not getting him off and why someone like carlos kahn i can't even get him
off and carlos kahn is experienced as anybody and that's where that that level of mastery is so
subtle and almost invisible,
it's hard to see unless you really know what the hell he's doing
because a lot of it seems to be like where he's putting his weight,
those little differences, how he's countering,
how he's predicting what you're going to do before you do it.
Well, that path that Maya is on, the techniques that he's putting together,
the treasure map that he's on,
Carlos Conant probably
wasn't getting someone on
a daily basis at a high level, hitting
him with that specific
path. Those moves
that he chose, that he strung together
nice and simple, nice
and tight.
You know, you
got to prepare for something as simple as that.
You got to prepare for someone Coming at you
Exactly like that
Because everything that
Maya chooses
All those positions
Are the best positions
For MMA
No doubt
He's got a path
He's figured it out
Yeah he's figured out the path
There's a million moves
But he's got the path
And it's the same shit
He's doing over and over
How
Damien's smaller
You know I wanna see
A guy like
You know
Rafael Lovato
is now getting into MMA.
He's had a few MMA fights
outside of the UFC.
He's going to smash guys.
It's a very similar style.
That top heavy pressure just grinds
and smashes and squishes you.
One position to the next.
He's small, methodical.
His chest is on you he's so heavy
it's all Hicks and
Gracie lineage
Hicks and Gracie
Salo Hibero
and he's with Salo
it's like that
old school
solid jiu jitsu
like that fucking
scary
perfect base
jiu jitsu
it's really more
the specific
you can't breathe
it's the
it's the specific
moves that he's
choosing
it's how he's doing.
It's not like he could have picked all of them.
Are you talking about Damien?
I'm talking about Maia.
Yeah, we're talking about Rafael Lovato, though.
So he does have that smashing, high-level jiu-jitsu,
but there have been a bunch of high-level jiu-jitsu guys
trying to transition into the UFC.
The problem is they're not selecting the moves that Damien Maia is selecting.
Everybody in MMA right now, if you're not studying, if you're in the UFC and you are not studying exactly the moves that Damian Maia has chosen and the path, it's all laid out for you.
That's the path you need to get on.
There's a lot of different jujitsu techniques, a lot of different styles of playing guard. Different guard passing styles.
There's all this shit you can decide to do in the mountain.
Three-quarter mountain.
All these decisions.
Damien Myers making all the right decisions.
If you're not studying his shit, I mean, there's something wrong with you and your coach.
Look how long it took Damien to get there.
Yeah.
He went through some shit to figure out himself as a fighter.
There's an evolution.
He wasn't choosing that exact path early on.
He was trying to stand too much.
On the bottom, he was always about the underhook from his early days.
But what he changed is he doesn't sit, when he's on top, he never sits into a Z half guard.
He calls it headquarters.
He doesn't sit into that anymore because when he wants people to sit into Z guard when he's on bottom,
because from there, he just waits for you
to throw a right punch and he times it he shoots for the underhook because you just left a big ass
opening and from there he gets the dog fight that's all he's waiting for so he doesn't want
to do that because he knows that that's the actually the wrong thing to do so he tripods
when he's in that headquarter position and he gets up and he drives his head down and then he just
he maneuvers his way into top half
and then he turns towards it. It's really
simple. It's not like he's mixing
it up. He knows
the best shit in MMA.
He's doing the same path over and over and over again.
You know who else is in the MMA recently? I just found out.
Tiffany Van Hoost.
Tiffany Timebomb. She fights in Invicta I think
next week or two weeks. Is it her first MMA
fight? I think so.
Is her first MMA fight?
Was she a Jiu-Jitsu?
No.
Muay Thai world champion.
World champ, Muay Thai.
Nasty.
Nasty.
Nasty.
Little tiny girl.
She's 115, right?
115, yeah.
But when you look at the women's division, she's going to be in the UFC quick.
Knocking bitches out, too.
Tan is fucked.
If she can avoid the takedown, it's going to be interesting. She's a great base. She's Joanna's. She's bitches out too. Tana's fucked. If she can avoid the takedown
it's going to be interesting because she's
a great base. She's Joanna's
she's in Joanna's division.
That's what I'm saying. Jamie bring her up for a sec.
Let me see your Tiffany time. Isn't it crazy that
just maybe four years ago
women being huge
in the UFC was
most people thought that would never happen.
Good looking woman too.
She's beautiful. she's a world champion
Muay Thai and she
I think she lives in Bali
But then she does her camps out here, she's doing it right man
She's badass
If you've seen her on AXS TV just knocking
Bitches out left and right
And with little gloves it's going to be very interesting
I think she's training at
Alliance down there too
She has her same striking coach for Muay Thai But then I think she's training at Alliance down there, too. Is she? Part of it. Good move.
She has her same striking coach from Muay Thai,
but then I think she's
doing some at Alliance.
There's just going to be
a level of technique
that she has
that most girls
just are not going
to be able to hang with.
She has such a big advantage.
Except for Joanna.
Joanna's pretty
fucking high level, dude.
I agree,
but let Tiff get a few fights,
then you got yourself
a real barn burner.
Because everyone else
in that division can't even match up with a striking wise.
Tiff can.
Yeah, there's a lot of dangerous kickboxing women that are coming over now.
Like Valentina Shevchenko.
You see when she fought Holly Holm.
No, she's fighting in the UFC.
She beat Holly Holm.
Do you know who I'm talking about in Belter?
The chick in Belter?
But Valentina, when you see all her years of Muay Thai experience at a world championship level,
when she fights someone like Holly, you get to see
that. You're like, oh, there's levels to this
shit. Plus, they've been there. Yeah,
that check hook that she kept nailing in with, that
check right hook. Holly got rattled
early in the first round. You realize the
timing is very different for someone who's that good.
Plus, those girls that come from that
super high-level background of striking
with boxing, Muay Thai, whatever it is,
you don't really see women come from a high-level background other than those two.
The ones that do, they have some of them.
Mackenzie Dern, she's in now.
Yeah, but they saw her in the UFC with high-level jiu-jitsu.
Who's killing it?
Well, she's not in it yet, but there's women out there.
She had one fight.
Mackenzie Dern, yeah.
I'm not saying in the UFC.
I'm just saying, Joe, from history with women's fighting, usually they come from that high-level
striking background.
They have such an advantage because they've been in the live fire.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
So when they get in the UFC and they're fighting a girl who maybe she just likes to fight and
do it all, when they fight these super high-level strikers, they're fucked, man.
Yep.
A lot of them.
That's why, you know,
they're going to need that wrestling and that jiu-jitsu.
Another thing about Damon Maia is when he gets
the back, a lot of people get the back
in MMA, but
he's on that Marcelo Garcia level,
but when he gets your back,
he knows how to close and he knows how to finish.
It takes so long
to have that
mastered. Because anybody can get on a back
and put the leg hooks in and then they got the
overhand five. But people, to be able to
close that shit. With gloves.
With gloves it's tough. It takes
a while and he got to the point now. In the
beginning, he probably
wasn't really known for taking people's backs
and choking them really, really easily.
It took a while, but now, man when he your back it's it's very hard to escape unless you're high level
unless you're already at a black belt but you know he gets carlos is a black belt yeah different
levels how many rear naked chokes has damien my gun six the record seven the record seven with
kenny it's not just that it's like when he gets to that position
He doesn't even have to get into your chin. He just squeezes your fucking head all that shit
That's what it's all about closing the deal making you tap. He knows how to make you tap
Yeah, somebody played an interesting video. They sent it to me on Twitter of one of Hickson's black belts in
Australia this guy's doing this
Demonstration with a rear naked choke,
and he was saying that the rear naked choke is all about the legs.
And so he's got the rear naked choke on and just using his legs,
obviously like stretching the body out,
but applying pressure just with his legs.
And he was like, that's what the rear naked choke's all about.
I'm like, man, I see what you're doing,
and I think that is definitely, it's definitely, it adds pressure.
But to me, I think the most important thing is the squeeze.
All of it.
Because a guy.
Every ounce of your body is perfect.
Yeah.
Everything's got to be perfect.
Your butt, your hips, your shoulders, your neck.
Everything has to be perfect.
That's a high-level squeeze, right?
That's everything.
Right.
Like Gary Tonin, when didn't he win EBI,
he got a rear naked choke
with no hooks in.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
If you got a world class squeeze
and you get a clean angle
on the neck,
if it's clean and deep
and you're under the chin,
you don't need the leg hooks
no more.
Right.
And Gary Tonin,
I forget who he did that to,
but he did that on EBI 5. It was Tonin, I forget who he did that to, but he did that in EBI
5. It was fucking awesome. I forget who he did
it to, too. So,
the guy's right. Legs definitely have a huge
factor. And when someone's got your back
and they have really...
You ever see when Toquinho
grappled with Mayhem Miller?
Yes. Jesus Christ.
In a grappling match? No, they were in
Brazil. It was in Brazil or England?
He was down there training, and Toquinho just, well, I talked to Mayhem,
and I was like, hey, I was out partying the night before.
I was drunk.
It was probably totally true, you know?
100%.
But it didn't matter.
Toquinho just took his back like a ghost.
Or took his arm.
Maybe he took his arm.
I thought that was Salivary's when he took his arm.
It wasn't Toino you're talking
about you don't know who's smart Pajaro oh that's not yeah yeah yeah that's his
nickname means tree stump yep but um there's a guy like that when they get
they get your back with those giant ass legs that he has when he's like squeezing
down on your shit and stretching you out as he's choking you. He's a fucking nut.
Did you see Gary Tonin against Taquino in Polaris? Yes, yes.
You see that?
Have you seen that, Brendan?
Yeah, amazing.
Amazing.
I mean, that's an example of one of those submission-only matches
that ends up in a draw but was amazing.
You know what I mean?
There's so many badass draws out there.
They're not all bad.
Just because it's a draw doesn't mean it.
I mean. Oh. Look's a draw doesn't mean it. I mean...
Look at my draw with Cyborg.
To a guy like you, or
you who could really appreciate the technique
and sees what's going on. Did you just say, look at my
draw with Cyborg? Obviously.
How dare you? Obviously joking.
Obviously seeing who's paying attention.
Still no matter.
You know what's crazy about
this EBI coming up is one of the worst
case scenarios
people would
would come up to me
and ask me about
and I would think
about it too
would have someone
won EBI
by escapes
got into overtime
in every round
and then won
by quickest escape time
like what would
would that ruin the show
and I thought
damn I don't know
but Eduardo Telles
he's a turtle guard master, and turtle guard
is just basically giving up your back. So anybody
who goes to turtle guard, very few people can do this,
they gotta have the best
back defense ever if you're
gonna play turtle guard, right? So he does,
and he's known that, and he's known in the jiu-jitsu
community, he's a legend, a legend
at defense. Untappable,
this guy, Eduardo Telles.
So he's doing EBI 8 next
Sunday. You can watch the countdown show
on YouTube, EBI Countdown.
EBI 8. He's
on the countdown show talking about
winning EBI on
escapes. That's crazy. So now that's
an actual real scenario that
we're dealing with. So instead of killing
the show, now it's actually interesting
to see if he could win the whole thing
by escaping.
Look at this shit. Ricardo Llamas
versus BJ Penn, October 15th
in Manila, Philippines.
Why not, man?
Let's see what's up.
That's a good fight right there.
I keep thinking BJ's retired.
Well, BJ honestly
should be fighting someone who is outside of the top 20 to get his timing back.
Let him fight Sam Punk.
But that said, BJ Penn is fucking BJ Penn.
And BJ Penn wants to fight the tough guys.
He can do whatever he wants.
He can do whatever he wants.
And if he doesn't fight a guy who's like Super dangerous He's probably not gonna
Train as hard
He's not gonna get up for it
So this is how BJ's
Kinda gotta do it
I fucking love BJ
It's smart
Did Llamas call him out
Or something
No
How did that happen
They just tossed him
The Llamas
He had a fight
He had a fight with
Was it Bermudez
Who was the fight
He had scheduled with
In LA
Remember
Who's he
It wasn't Dennis Bermudez
It wasn't Bermudez
No it wasn't Bermudez It No, it wasn't Bermudez.
It was someone he had a fight scheduled with.
Nick Lentz?
No, it wasn't Nick Lentz
because Nick Lentz is fighting at 155.
There was some fight that got canceled
because BJ had taken an IV to rehydrate himself.
That was on the LA card, remember?
Yeah.
What was the fight?
See if you can find it out, Jan.
Who was it?
Anyway, so they had to give him another fight,
and so the other fight they gave him is Lamas,
which is a tough fight for anybody.
Tough fight.
They threw him to the fucking...
145.
It's BJ Penn.
What are you going to do?
But still.
Apparently, his fighting stance is back to the old BJ, right?
Yeah.
He's not doing that Tito stuff.
Well, he went to Winkle John, you know,
I mean, in Brandon Gibson.
Is he there now?
Yeah, he's been training at Jackson's.
Here it goes.
What does it say?
Cole Miller at 199.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, Cole Miller.
Yeah, 199.
See, Cole Miller's a real good fight.
That's a real good fight, too.
Yeah.
That's a real good fight.
Did he listen, man?
He did.
Remember, people would say, what if BJ went to Jackson?
Yeah.
It's like, whoa, what happened then?
And he actually did it.
How cool is that?
He's BJ fucking Penn.
Don't ever forget that.
If that guy's body is willing
and he can figure out a way
to motivate himself
into awesome shape again,
he is BJ motherfucking Penn.
He's the prodigy.
I think he should,
I think he should just focus
on using his striking
to take people down
and just take them to the ground.
I think he's still
one of the best on the ground.
You know who I don't want to see fight again?
And I hope for whatever reason, contractual, it doesn't happen.
It's GSP, man.
His last three or four fights, he took so many hits to the head.
He has money in the bank.
The 70-pound division's completely changed now.
I just don't want to see it.
Maybe he's bored.
Yeah, he must be bored as fuck making Kickboxer 2 and shit.
Yeah, and he did something with Seagal
Where Seagal kills him in some movie
That would make me want to fucking get back to anything
I was doing
That video of Seagal
He's not been missing any meals
He's so big now
It's crazy
He would fuck you guys up
He has this giant barrel of a chest
He's gotta be 100 pounds overweight.
Yeah.
It's really weird.
Because if you go back to Hard to Kill, this first movie.
He's very thin.
Oh, my God.
He looks awesome.
I used to like him, man.
Under Siege 1 and 2?
Watch your mouth.
Plus, he did a bunch of weird stuff that nobody had ever seen before.
A bunch of smacking.
It's like, if you go and steven seagal's earliest movie
it was hard to kill right no no it was a justice above above the law yeah justice
above the law is his first one it's fun to watch like his fight scenes you're like i
kind of feeling this i feel like he could maybe pull this off you know he's kind of doing like
wing chong but he's smacking Some fucking clotheslines
On people
And sweeping them
Off their feet
And snapping arms
And shit
I think he's actually
Kind of a good actor too
Under Siege 1 and 2
Is fucking brilliant
Hard to kill is great
Look at his face
Look at his face in 88
In 88 above the law
Handsome dude
Dime piece in hard to kill
And he was only
Probably 30 years old
Back then
In that ponytail
He had been teaching
A Kido in Japan.
He was the first American to run a dojo in Japan.
Well, that's been contested.
Shut the fuck up, Brian.
Why are you ruining...
Sorry, buddy.
Sorry.
Look at him back then.
Look at the body.
Look at that knife.
But that's a body of a guy who actually knows martial arts.
Now he's...
Or not.
I mean, I don't know.
Have you guys heard of that new
Jean-Claude Van Damme
show called
Jean-Claude Van Johnson?
He plays himself.
Van Johnson?
Is that a reality show?
Dave Callahan wrote that.
My student who wrote Godzilla.
Yeah?
He has a show now.
It's on Amazon.
I don't even know,
but Tate's in it too.
Really?
It's called
Jean-Claude Van Johnson.
It's about
Jean-Claude Van Damme is in it.
He plays himself.
And he's like this washed up actor.
He's just himself.
So it's a story about Jean-Claude Van Damme.
And he's playing himself but making fun of it like a parody?
Yeah.
It's kind of like that movie.
Goddamn, time's around.
I refuse to watch it.
I love Jean-Claude Van Damme.
It's supposed to be funny as shit.
Nope, can't do it.
Can't do it.
I remember him from Bloodsport.
Powerful Josh Barnett, still swinging.
God damn it, that's a terrible pitch I've been in.
Still throwing leather.
Tough fight to call, man.
Two vets.
Yeah.
USADA testing.
Germany.
Well, I mean, who would have ever predicted that Orlovsky would have gotten that close to a title shot again?
Well, I mean, who would have ever predicted that Orlovsky would have gotten that close to a title shot again?
After all those years out, after getting starched by Sergei Karatov,
after getting beaten down by Rumble Johnson, to come back from all that,
get back into the UFC and work his way to the top four.
Like, what?
Amazing.
How the fuck did he do that?
Went to Jackson's, got a huge four or five fight win streak. Amazing. How the fuck did he do that? Went to Jackson's, got a huge four or five fight win streak.
Amazing.
I mean, it's amazing.
When a lot of people thought the Caratano fight,
they're like, someone's got to step in.
Someone's got to stop this. It's amazing the difference between his nose now
and when he first started fighting.
Dude, do you know how many times this guy's been knocked out?
If you really went over his entire career,
I would like to find out.
Well, between him and Overeem, it's a goddamn highlight reel.
And in training, I wonder.
Yeah, Overeem's had a lot of stoppage losses.
Overeem's had more than anyone.
Yeah, well, all the kickboxing losses, MMA losses.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
A lot of these guys have been stopped a lot of times.
Andre's slim for this one.
Wow, his nose is flattened.
Look at his nose.
I know.
That's a guy who's been in some wars, man.
Who's been in as many slugfests
as Arlovsky? Damn. Barnett.
Barnett has, yeah. I mean, they're
close. But Andre's almost always
in slugfests because he's a striker.
He's not trying to take someone down.
Has Josh Barnett been knocked out? Yeah.
Yeah, he got knocked out. Travis Brown
elbows to the back of the head.
Yeah, real bad.
And then... Before that, though, he has for sure.
And the Grand Prix days.
And Rothwell just choked him out.
Yep.
Rothwell caught him with that crazy ten-finger go-go guillotine.
Yeah.
Whatever he calls it.
Go-go guillotine.
There's so many different ways to put on that guillotine, and they're all secretive because
you can never see the grip grip and everyone has a certain way
They hold a grip you never gets a hidden grip. There's probably 13 different at least
Orlovsky went old school with that with this pregame fight interview to stop about how when he's the UFC champ
Barnett was in pride saying how or laughs he wasn't the real champ. He was
You have a but jock Barnett was never the champ 15 years ago
I know but he was
He was a runner up
And he was saying
When they were asking
Barnet back then
He was like
UFC champ doesn't really count
Orlovsky's not the real champ
Orlovsky brought that shit back
Like an old elephant
Didn't forget
Wow
He was like
Excuse me sir
That was 20 years ago
Like an old elephant
Like an old
Belarusian elephant
It's another one
If you look at him
He's 37.
That's amazing that he was elite in the UFC in his early, early 20s.
And Josh Barnett's the youngest heavyweight champion ever.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
When he beat Randy Couture, he became the youngest ever UFC heavyweight champion.
But then, didn't he get stripped?
He got stripped.
He pissed hot?
Yeah.
He pissed hot shit between him and over him.
It's a goddamn MLB in the glory days.
Mark McGuire buried Bonds.
Two badasses, but they'll piss hot.
It would be interesting if Bellator just becomes like a PED league.
You mean pride?
Yeah, just PED league.
Just let him do whatever the fuck he wants
Well, Scott Coker said that
He's like, our walkouts, we try to mimic Pride
I'm like, yeah, for sure
Just let guys juice to the gill and do that
Do you hate money, Mr. Coker?
Get some dry ice smoke
Let him juice to the gills
I mean, someone's got to explain to me Bobby Lashley
Explain what?
Explain what's going on there
How's that possible?
Why, can I see a picture, please?
You've never seen Bobby Lashley, B?
Yeah.
He's a very strong, powerful wrestler that is the cover boy for the smell test.
Oh.
Look at him.
Well, that's the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.
That is so ridiculous.
He's a tank.
Now, does he moonlight as a bodybuilder?
No, he used to be a WWE guy.
He still is.
Look at that.
Yeah, that's natural.
Those traps are all natural.
Is he fighting in Bellator looking like that?
Yep.
Yes.
Huh.
Yeah, show a picture of him in Bellator.
That's a lot of Dolce Way.
Is he taking a lot of Dolce Way?
Legit wrestler, though.
Look at him there in Bellator.
Look at the size of him in Bellator.
Yeah, now listen.
I mean, some people are just born super muscular.
But he only fights in funky places like Oklahoma, Indian casinos and shit.
Look at the size of him.
That's the craziest shit I've ever seen.
Look at the fucking size of him.
Hey, this is the thing.
The nicest guy in the world world obviously on some Mexican supplements.
Motherfucker can
wrestle his ass off.
He's a monster.
I can believe it. Looking at him, I wouldn't say he's
an accountant. I would say he's a wrestler.
It's not like CM Punk wrestling.
It's a legit wrestling background.
I believe that.
He's had a lot of fights.
He fought in Showtime for a while.
He's only had eight or think, like eight or nine.
He's not that active.
Well, he fought in Strikeforce and lost to Chad Griggs, remember?
The Gravedigger?
Yeah, that's right.
The Gravedigger.
Yeah.
And that was a big setback for him.
Had to get his shit together again.
Start all over again.
Josh Barnett's body is an interesting...
You know who his training partner is, Josh Barnett?
Bobby Lash and Barnett train together all the time.
Makes sense.
Never seen Bobby Lash taken out, ever.
Okay, prediction.
Arlovsky, Barnett.
Barnett looks bigger than Arlovsky.
That's a big man.
They're both giant.
Barnett's heavier.
Arlovsky's in better shape, I would assume.
Barnett's got a lot of options.
Yeah, Barnett, he's like a Swiss army knife.
He has too many options. There's a lot of options. And, Barnett, he's like a Swiss Army knife. He has too many options.
He has a lot of options.
And Orlovsky, his only option is to knock him out.
Oh, he tagged him.
Barnett with a right hand over the top.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Orlovsky goes right at Barnett!
Oh, shit!
What's going on here?
Oh, my God.
Hey, guys.
Oh!
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
Are we all out of our minds here?
Couple one too old, he's fucking slanging them.
Guys, what? Barnett just took a big, deep breath. And by all these of our minds here? Couple one too old, he's fucking slanging them.
Barnett just took a big deep breath.
And by all these, 12 years younger than me and Joe.
Barnett is saying something.
Barnett is saying something.
What is he saying?
Was he grabbing my gloves?
I don't know.
He's saying he's grabbing my gloves, he's grabbing my gloves.
Oh, is that what he's saying?
I think so.
Wow, man. And the ref said, let's shut up and fight.
I think that's what he said.
Did he say that?
Shut up and fight? I don't think he said shut up. He said, let's shut up and fight. I think that's what he said. Did he say that? Shut up and fight?
I don't think he said shut up.
He said, let's just fight.
Wow.
Holy fuck.
These boys ain't messing around.
Wow.
When Arlossi does do this, he's usually at his best.
When you think about Travis Brown, he's just cautioning the wind.
Yeah, but Barnett is good at controlling the pace here.
When he gets a hold of you like this, this is going to sap some of the strength.
He's got such wide hips.
He's just so strong
So tank of a guy. All his super skill too man. Fuck. Oh
Caught him on the break. Oh, someone's about to get knocked out. Get ready boys. Oh Jesus. Baranowski's bleeding hardcore
What a tough way to make a living. Big right hand coming from Baranowski. What a tough way to make a living. Oh jeez.
Don't let's not do that. Left hook from Barnett coming up.
This is intense.
Someone's going to sleep real soon.
Oh.
Damn, attack that body.
There's like a weird way that Arlovsky throws his right hand.
Have you noticed that?
Almost like a whipping action from the hips.
He doesn't throw it the way he threw
it when he was young. No, not at all.
I wonder if he's had shoulder injuries.
Or Lasky painted his toenails. Shut the fuck up.
I won't. Don't bring it up.
Sorry, sorry. He's a warlock. He's a
fucking warlock and I knew it. That's what a bad
motherfucker Chuck Liddell is. He had everybody painting their
goddamn toenails. He really did.
And no one said shit.
I'm not saying shit.
I just made an observation.
They all wind up doing it.
He sacrificed a goat
to Satan last night
and that's why he had...
Arlovsky with the takedown!
Look at this!
Arlovsky with the takedown!
See, I like Arlovsky
putting Barnett on his back.
Barnett's not a guy
who parties off his back
very much.
He doesn't party off his back, guys. He doesn't. I wonder if he's putting Barnett on his back. Barnett's not a guy who parties off his back very much. He doesn't party off his back, guys.
He doesn't.
I wonder.
Only on top.
I wonder if he's got some shit off his back.
I mean, I'm sure he's capable.
Uh-oh, watch that.
Come on, son.
He went for a double wrist lock from the bottom.
Went for that bully beatdown double wrist lock.
Wonder what he was going to do there with that.
Look at this.
Look at the blood coming down.
He doesn't care.
That's a headbutt blood, Brian.
Look at that.
Go ahead.
Give me a charley horse.
This is an interesting fight, man.
Hold that ankle.
This is an interesting fight.
Barnett on his back.
Orlovsky above him.
Orlovsky needs to watch his legs here.
Did you just punch him in the dick?
He needs to watch his legs here, man.
There's one thing Barnett does know.
It's his fucking leg locks down here.
I think you forget the Sambo background of Andre Orlovsky.
I didn't.
Remember when he got, what's his name, Tim Sylvia in that?
Mm-hmm.
Got him in a straight ankle.
I think you forget about that fucking.
Dude, I think Josh Barnett just played a little De La Riva guard for one split second.
Watch.
Barnett is thicker than a Snickers right now.
Just a vanilla Snickers doing the damn thing.
Big man.
Look at that.
Oh.
And they're both just getting...
This is the veteran, let's rest.
You rest, I rest.
Oh, is that what it is?
Okay.
Yeah, that's the veteran.
I'm going to rest, you rest.
I like it.
Couple one, two old butts.
Keep the hands up, please.
Somebody, all of you.
Barnett looks tired.
I mean...
Jesus Christ.
These guys just, they clash heads, man.
Gigantesque.
Gigante, man. Nobody's... Oh! Oh, man. Gigantesque. Gigante, man.
Oh!
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh!
Combination by Arlovsky.
Josh Barnett's so tough, though.
Arlovsky.
He looks fine.
Josh Barnett looks fine.
Someone's going to sleep.
Barnett switched stances.
Was he standing orthodox earlier?
He was, right?
Yeah, he switches.
Interesting.
I wonder...
Does Orlowski always have black nail polish?
Sorry.
No.
First time.
Get over it, bro.
It's a great fight.
Fuck his nail polish.
Bro, I'm just saying, man.
I'm allowed to make an observation.
God, you're white, Josh. Let's get a tan. You're whiter than I am. No, I'm just saying, man. I'm allowed to make an observation. God, you're white, Josh.
Let's get a tan.
You're whiter than I am.
No, you can't tan.
That would look weird on him.
He'd look pink.
He just turns pink, right?
He'd be red.
He'd get all red?
Come out there like a red fucking pickle.
Yeah, a fucking giant pickle.
A red pickle?
I don't know why I even said pickle.
Like a lobster.
Yeah, you big fucking blonde lobster.
Josh is giving up the neck.
He's like, go ahead, take it.
Yeah, our lefty's not known for those.
Want to get crazy?
Pull the guillotine off.
Wow.
I would never think that Josh would lean in on anybody like that ever again
after that Travis Brown fight.
Well, the thing about that is Travis is so good at him
because of his leverage, how tall he is.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh my goodness. I mean, flash knockouts on both
ends here. Oof. Great takedown.
I think Travis is the only one
who can pull off those elbows
because he's so tall. Maybe.
Well, he's also just explosive as fuck
with them in that position.
That's his spot.
He did it to Gonzaga and then he did it to gonzaga and then he
jerry barnett you're on the air we're doing the the fight companion already joe diaz well joey
it's it's like one two you're not watching the ufc on fight pass dog i'm doing my own UFC I just got back from jiu jitsu bitch I just did my own
I got choked out 8 times
I just did my own fucking jiu jitsu
I just got
Luke Barnett
Everybody choked me out today
Nice
Legacy
Yeah yeah yeah
I did a little better today to be honest
Round 2
I did a little better today, to be honest with you. Round two. Dude, after a minute rest.
I did a little better today.
Hey, the fight's on right now.
You gotta watch that overhand right.
Keep telling Orlovsky that.
All right, do your thing.
I'm sorry, brother.
I saw you call me earlier.
You know I love you.
Okay, I'll call you right back.
Keep your head in his chin.
That's what I, when I teach clinch, I always say, use your fucking head.
Spear, spear the chin.
When you what huh when i teach clint when i do a uh clinch clinic i call it the clinch clinic with the kid nobody ever comes
but if somebody did i would always say use your head i cannot get anybody to fucking come and i
have something to say puts on a message board there's to be a clinch clinic with the kid.
Piece of paper with a bunch of things you can rip off that have the phone number on.
Just one ripped off and he ripped it off himself.
I put it up on phone.
Just get things going.
On phone poles.
I put it up on phone poles.
And nobody calls.
Nobody calls.
I can't get anybody in my fucking clinics, man.
I have cupcakes and Kool-Aid for everybody.
How is this not a five-rounder?
Right, Brendan? Because they're old.
I don't give a fuck.
Isn't every main event five rounds?
Is it a five-rounder?
It might be. Oh, it is. It is. Sorry.
The fucking reindeer
thing was blocking us all three.
The reindeer thing. Did you guys see that thing
where those fucking reindeer, 300
of them, got electrocuted?
Was it 300 of them? Jesus Christ. Is that how many it was?
What? Why do I want to say it was 40?
Oh, you gotta keep your hands up.
323? 323 reindeer
got electrocuted to death. They were all
standing in water. Lightning hit
the ground. What? The ground was soaked with
water, so they all got barbecued instantly.
No. Damn. Instantly. Dude.
Boy, these boys are throwing. these boys are hundreds of poor fucking reindeer
That's crazy. Just landed a huge. Oh fuck
It was harp so can you just go there and eat them?
Can't go there and eat them or no?
It depends on how cold it is you know if they if it was right afterwards yeah, definitely
So that could happen to us when we were hunting
Technically it technically could happen yeah because. Because the ground's all wet.
So it's connective.
So this shit should be happening all the time.
It could happen.
Well, we got rubber boots on, though.
Yeah.
We have rubber boots on, and also we're not fucking reindeer.
Yep.
God likes me more than he likes reindeers.
They're called caribou.
I call them caribou.
Yep.
They're delicious animals.
If you were there and you came right after the fact, you'd be psyched.
Because you'd have all the meat.
You wouldn't want it to go to waste.
I agree.
So it's not even like you feel bad for shooting the caribou.
If you're starving in the wilderness.
When you post those Instagram videos of grilling that fine, fine wild meat.
I got you hungry.
It's my favorite thing to cook.
I cooked some last night.
I will say that one you did with the jalapenos.
Yeah, that's my shit, dog.
My fucking mouth starts running.
Dude, I'm telling you, I know you're scared of...
Eddie grew up with a fucked up stepfather,
so he's got some crazy food issues
because his stepdad used to force him to eat food.
So Eddie's like, meat, potatoes, stop.
Don't get crazy.
You don't eat meat or potatoes?
He won't be out.
No, no, that's all.
He's like super down the middle.
I don't like gamey meat.
That's how my brother is.
You know what I mean?
Elk is not gamey.
That's the thing, man.
I'm telling you.
It's like if you like Fogo de Chow, you like when they come over.
It doesn't taste like that because it's got more firmness to it.
Oh, good reversal by Barnett.
It's on now.
Oh, this is not good.
This is not good for Arlovsky.
This is terrible. Barnett is a smusher. Look at this is not good. This is not good for Arlovsky. This is terrible. Barnett is
a smusher. Look at that instant pass.
Full mount, grapevine,
old school, catch wrestling style. We call that the Saturday Night Live
ride. We call it the Saturday Night Ride.
Yeah, you gotta call it one of the
other. You can't call it skydive.
We call it staying alive.
Boy, if he can last a minute,
he's gonna be gassed. He's got it for a minute.
Yeah, I don't know about all that.
That's a tough call, dude.
He might get smushed here, dude.
Just hold on.
He's looking for the arm triangle on that right arm.
Did you say just hold on to him, BD?
Yeah, just hold on to him.
He'll be fine.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Well, Josh Barnett will put a beating on you in that fucking mount position, too.
He's an expert at maneuvering, getting you in bad spots,
anticipating your defense and dropping those short palm-to-elbow elbows down on you,
those pressed-down Jeremy Horn-style elbows.
Yeah, he also has a great head-arm choke here that he does.
Jeremy Horn was like one of the first guys that really was teaching that.
Oh, he's cutting them up.
Oh, he's smashing them.
40 seconds to go.
Man, he's got to finish them.
He's a nasty.
He's looking for that arm.
He's looking to straighten those arms out.
But Arlovsky's got fairly good defense, but not right here.
Come on, Andre.
Don't turn to his back.
30 seconds.
Oh, my God.
He's getting beat on.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
It's not enough to stop it, though, is it?
Yeah, but he's getting smashed.
Andre, he's going to be fucked when he gets on.
It's over.
It's over.
It's over.
He's beating on him, man.
Now it's over.
You got time.
You got time.
You got time.
Hammer fist.
Now it's over.
He's going to sink it in.
There it goes.
There it goes.
Oh, he's going to survive.
I don't think so.
Yes, yes.
Oh, hell yeah.
He's surviving.
It's over.
They're not going to stop.
They're not going to stop it.
Oh, he got it.
Wow.
Wow.
He survived.
Dude, what a beating.
He took a ferocious beating.
Orlovsky's in trouble.
Like, getting up, he's got to be reeling right now.
I mean, his face is smushed.
And he's tired as fuck.
He has to be, man.
He just exploded for survival for the last minute.
The last minute was just a crazy swim to shore with sharks biting your asshole.
Is that Winkle John right there?
You got to go back out there.
Mike Winkle John is the guy to his left.
Like right in front of Orlovsky.
That's Mike.
And that's Greg Jackson.
Been here a bunch of times.
That's not good.
You've been here 100 times.
Well, I'm a little on the brink of dying.
You start thinking about it
Hmm
Where do either of these guys go from here?
I guess they're both
They're both in the mix
Yeah, heavyweight division's pretty old
Could take down Baralovsky
But he got reversed
Watch this
Yeah, the momentum
Man
Mounted way easy
Yeah, that's not what you want
Oh my god.
Barnett just dropping bombs down on him.
Super accurate.
Josh Barnett is no joke, man.
Come on, Andre.
Come on, Andre.
Oh, look at this.
Barnett also can keep up this pace
for five rounds. He fought Roy Nelson
and gave Roy Nelson a beating like that
for five rounds
Yeah, he did. That was super impressive. He's just such a vet man. He's seen it all. Yep. Well, he's also just so fucking tough. Dermal
It has so many fucking tricks, but Arlowski still got the bomb man. He's still got the bomb in his hand
Look at him. He's trying to set it up. Oh
I don't think that landed dude. It's weird the way he throws that right hand.
It's like his elbow's down, his shoulder's up, and he whips it.
It's almost like he doesn't throw it straight anymore.
See what I'm saying?
Yeah.
He throws that kick and he's getting caught.
That's the second time he's gotten caught.
But it's like he's throwing it with his body, and then the arm is sort of following behind it.
It's like whipping.
It's weird.
Oh!
They're so tired.
These guys are...
I mean, if...
Kind of...
I would like...
Oh, man.
Oh, my God, my Barnett.
Right hand.
Barnett.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, Orlovsky.
Orlovsky is a stud.
These guys are amazing.
Oh, nice knee to the body.
He hurt him with that knee to the body.
No, he poked him in the eye.
Oh, he poked him in the eye.
Well, the ref didn't see it.
Oh, wow.
Barnett knows better than that to stop it.
Barnett... Oh, shit. Oh, my God better than that to stop it. Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
This is an amazing fight.
Oh, my God.
Orlovsky said, enjoy your win with one fucking eye.
Oh, my God.
Give it up, Orlovsky.
He gets behind him.
Look out.
Camara.
Camara.
Orlovsky needs to stop this shit.
Double wrist lock.
Double wrist lock.
God damn it.
Look at that.
Now you're fucked.
Now you need to turn him ripped off.
He's fucked.
He's fucked.
He's super fucked. Damn it. This is Barnett all fucking day long. This is're fucked. Flipped him. Now you need to try him ripped off. He's fucked. He's fucked. He's super fucked.
Damn it.
This is Barnett all fucking day long.
This is his world.
Power to twerk.
This dude submitted Dean Lister, Huron Gracie.
Huron, yes.
Easily.
That is a big feat, man.
Huge.
It's over right here.
This is not good.
Oh!
Shit.
Not up in here.
Dude, this is a fight.
It's still over.
This is an amazing fight. It's still over. This is an amazing fight.
It's still over.
It's still over.
There's no way Orlovsky's going to get up here.
It's still over.
He's not going to get.
He's going for the Kimura again.
Orlovsky's a warlock, so he's got those parts.
He's going for it again.
He doesn't have much room, though.
Man, oh, man.
Barnett, upset that it got away, man.
He's going to make a big point to try to get it down.
If you're Orlovsky, quit fucking trying to grapple with him. Oh, he's elbowing him, too. He's going to make a big point to try to get it out. If you're Arlovsky, quit fucking trying to grapple with him.
Oh, he's elbowing him, too.
He's going to open it up with elbows.
That's so nasty.
A little tenderizing.
That's so nasty.
Do you remember that time when Arlovsky was on the ground
and Roy Nelson had him inside control with a double wrist lock locked in
and they stood him up?
Elite XC.
Elite XC, that crooked ass organization remember that yeah
hell yeah i do and then
oh two minutes 20 seconds this is not good it's it's that's not good this is not good
this is not good he's giving up the back he's giving up the back he's getting choked out yeah
he's giving up the back you've got to the back He's getting choked out Yeah he's giving up the back Enjoy that You've got to be so exhausted here
He's flattening him out
He's getting the neck
That's it
Josh
Motherfucking Barnett
Ladies and gentlemen
Two warriors man
Two legends
God damn
If I was Brendan Schaub
I'd say for sure
Get off me before you congratulate me
Yeah for sure
Get the fuck out of here man
Let's do this when we get up
For sure
We can do this friendship shit
When you're not mounting me
Yeah man
You've got great cardio.
Fuck, he does. You would never think so, but man, he...
God, is he good. God damn, that was
a good fight. Tough as nails, man.
Josh Burnett is tough as nails.
That was a goddamn war.
Jesus.
What a fight. And you know, all due
respect, he doesn't seem... He's got great
cardio. He doesn't... If you looked at his body
physically, he doesn't look like he's in that good of shape. What? Good lord. Josh Burnett? Come on. He's got great cardio He doesn't If you looked at his body physically The fuck are you trying to say He doesn't look like
He's in that good of shape
What?
Good lord
Josh Barnett?
Come on
He's always
You're talking about a legend
I know he is
I'm just saying
Don't judge a book
Don't judge a book
By its cover, Brendan
Look at Fedor
I've always said that
Look at Fedor
Yeah
God, he's amazing
Boom
Oh no
And still took it
And still
He hit his hand
Barnett fucked him up
After this
He went
Oh, you want to poke me in the fucking eye?
Check this out.
See, this is our last fight there.
Why did the ref stop that eye poke thing?
That was weird.
Didn't see it.
He didn't see it.
When they're looking at certain things, you know, and they miss little stuff like that,
it's so hard to stop and reset.
Because you also stop the momentum of the fight.
And sometimes a guy gets punched in the eye.
And they'll reel away as if they got poked,
but if you watch the replay, it's just the knuckle.
Chuck Liddell used to get guys all the time,
and he would throw these wild, crazy punches.
He would, because of the way the wraps are
and because of the way the gloves are,
sometimes when Chuck was punching you,
he's hitting you like this.
So these are going in your eyes.
You can't stop it because I mean
It's just he's just dropping bombs on you and sometimes they don't land perfectly with a knuckle or sometimes even with the knuckle
The knuckle goes into your eye
But these um these things right here. These are not covered
So if you're slinging and you catch someone like this and it goes in the eye, it feels just like a poke definitely
Yeah, stop it goes in the eye. It feels just like a poke. Definitely can't stop it. Yeah.
Probably for Dan Hardy.
Look at him.
He looks like an Englishman. Dude, did you see Bruce Buffer's fucking white tux?
He had a white tux?
That's some Germany shit.
That's that foreign shit.
Don't bring that here.
Oh, it shouldn't?
No.
No, can't have that here.
How come?
We just can't.
We just can't do it.
No white tux.
It's Hardy.
Those aren't jeans.
Powerful.
Powerful Josh Barnett
We went for the finish every time
I know we slowed down but
We went for the finish every time
So please give it up for Andre Oloski
Give it up for Andre Oloski
Damn right
Damn right
That's a great sportsman
This is a crazy division
It's going to be opened up next week
We're going to find out what the hell's going on
Because if Stipe can defend the title You know you, you've got a real champion on your hands.
And if Overeem could beat him, things get very, very interesting.
Look how he put the choke on.
Look at the grip.
Then he got Verdum.
Yeah, Travis Brown smushed it.
He, like, punched at it.
It went like this.
Yeah.
Interesting, huh?
I didn't see it, incidental, but.
Well, he's a real artist when it comes to submissions.
Josh Barnett knows his shit.
There's some big-ass fights coming up, dude.
Some big-ass fights coming up.
If you would have hit his face, it would have been different.
Boom!
That's so fucked up, man.
But that's something when you see a guy turning away with his...
Oh, you go.
Holding his eye like that.
Go ahead and punch him in the face.
What is... Jamie, what's the card
Next weekend
You got the heavyweights, right
So you got Stipe, Overeem, Verdum
Travis Brown rematch
You know what, I didn't know until today
Just now that Stipe, Overeem was
September 10th, I thought it was today
I've been really excited about it
You thought it was on Fight Pass
Why'd you think it was today? I don't know.
So you're upset? A little upset
right now. You thought it was next on Fight Pass?
So Stipe, Alistair,
look at this.
Verdum and Travis Brown, very
interesting. What was the original
fight? Was this the original fight?
No, Fabrizio was supposed
to fight...
God, who pulled out? Who the fuck pulled out? Travis Brown was the late to fight... God, who pulled out?
Who the fuck pulled out?
Travis Brown was
a late replacement.
Oh, Rothwell pulled out.
It was Verdum Rothwell.
Oh, that's right.
He pulled out.
Brown got back in, right?
Because he's got his face
kicked off by Kane.
So he came back in
for this rematch.
Man, Travis Brown's
in a tough spot.
He loses this one.
Well, it's also...
They're going to get
Ronda pregnant.
How fairly short is the notice?
Not that short, right?
Like four or five weeks.
But it's pretty recent since the fight with Kane.
Yeah, I know.
That's why it's tough to get back in there.
He got that spinning wheel kick.
Yeah, it was tough.
What's next for Kane?
That's a good question.
Probably a title fight, I would imagine.
Look at that.
CM Punk versus Mickey Galls.
The third fight of the night.
That's crazy.
That is before Faber and...
Yeah, it's after Faber.
Yeah, sorry.
Faber and Jimmy Rivera, which is an interesting fight, man.
Jimmy Rivera's a tank.
Super tough fight for him.
He always wins, though, doesn't he?
Well, he wins a lot. Besides the title. Yeah. man jimmy rivera is a tank super tough fight for you yeah he always wins though doesn't he well he
wins a lot besides the title yeah well the dominic cruz fight was you know he got dropped in that
fight a couple of times he got hurt which is uh interesting i'll tell you the fight i want to see
is uh steve bavers cane that's the fight matchup wise it's such a fun fight very similar styles
hey what's going on with uh tyson off he can't get into the country? Yeah, I don't think so.
That's what I've heard.
That giant wrestler you're talking about?
No, no, no.
He's not a giant guy.
He's 155.
Was he 45 or 55?
Who is he supposed to be fighting?
55, right, Jamie?
Look that up.
Who is Landsberg?
Cyborg's fighting Lentz.
Yeah, he's fighting Nick Lentz.
Nick Lentz has been fighting 55.
Damn.
Who is Landsberg?
Lineker versus Dodson is crazy.
That is goddamn crazy.
October 1st, Portland, Oregon.
That is madness.
Who's the poor soul-fighting cyborg?
Holy shit.
His name is Landsberg.
Who's the body-back fighting fucking cyborg in Brazil?
Looks like a swimsuit model.
In Brasilia, Brasilia.
That's going to be fed.
Jamie, what's her background?
Who's that?
She's a demon hunter.
Landsberg.
She's a fucking warlock hunter.
She's going to go there with a necklace of garlic and a fucking sword with a crucifix at the bottom of it.
And still won't help.
She's fucked.
You will get knocked the fuck out.
Here's a shield.
Good luck in that fight.
God damn, man. That's one of them good luck fights. Who's going to beat Good luck in that fight. God damn, man.
That's one of them good luck fights.
Who's going to beat Cyborg?
That's a good question, man.
Who is going to beat?
Yeah, Marabek Taisomov out of UFC 203.
Visa issues.
He's such a monster, too.
He's very good.
So fucking good.
But he's had visa issues for several fights in a row now.
I just don't know why the UFC can't clear that up.
Unless it's some weird shit.
For sure someone helped him out. did wonder what the problem is I don't understand visas man I don't understand like who gets
them and who doesn't you know I think right now it's a little tough it was declined hmm
yeah I wonder I wonder what why they declined those things man you know I wonder I don't
know what it is but too bad Because he could fight his ass off
So good
Yeah he's very good man
Very good
And look at that whole card
That's uh
Ooh Ian McCollum
Ray Borg
That's right I forgot that
Ray Borg's no joke
That's interesting
Who's on that fight path?
Betch Coe
Yancy Madero, Sean Spencer.
That's a good fight.
That should be next weekend.
So what else is going on?
You're calling that fight off.
It's a championship of the world.
Yeah, I'm there next week.
Yeah.
Powerful Cleveland.
See ya.
See ya, fuckers.
Cleveland.
Beautiful Cleveland.
That's steep-based town.
It's going to be interesting, man.
They're going to come out in droves for him.
Hopefully. Yeah. No, It's going to be interesting, man. They're going to come out in droves for him. Hopefully.
Yeah. No, it's going to be.
It's a very interesting fight, man.
Stipe is no fucking joke.
It's a toss-up for me.
But Alistair Overeem is so good
at striking. He's so clever and sneaky.
And now the way he fights,
he moves around you
and doesn't take any chances until
he sees an opening, then he snipes on you.
And Miocic has got to be able to counter that,
and if he can't clip him and hurt him the way Rothwell did,
then the fight becomes interesting.
You also look at the way Stipe almost terminators forward,
you know what I'm saying, has that relentless pace like you do JDS.
You can't really do that with Overeem.
There's no trading like that, really.
Well, it's going to be hard if he gets hit with leg kicks, like right away.
Because Alistair Overeem has some fucking ferocious leg kicks.
Body kicks, too.
He also throws that left kick to the body.
He switches stances a lot.
He can do a lot of different shit in there, striking-wise.
His knees are fucking horrific.
And then his grappling.
Yeah, his grappling's good.
He can fucking grapple. We forget about it. Yeah Yeah His grappling's good He can fucking grapple
We forget about it
Yeah
His grappling's good
He's very good
He won the European Abu Dhabi qualifier
Correct
And he's a
I think he was the first guy to submit Vitor
Before John Jones did
He submitted him with a guillotine
Back in the pride days
Mm-hmm
Yeah, he's no joke, man
Yeah, people forget about that
Johnson versus Poirier
That's gonna be fun
Hall Brunson's gonna be fun too Yeah Whoa, that's very good Yeah, Rui Hall almost. Johnson versus Poirier. That's going to be fun. Hall Brunson will be fun too.
That's very good.
Yeah, Raya Hall almost got the Anderson Silva fight, right?
And Anderson hurt himself.
Phil Brooks is a wrestling superstar.
It's interesting.
This whole thing is so interesting that it's taken so long.
Yeah, I mean, I don't hate on the guy for pursuing something new.
Who am I to hate on a guy for doing something new out of his lane?
You know, that's my life.
Cowboy and I were making fun of him the other day for being a straight edge, for not drinking.
People get so mad.
Really?
Yeah, they get so mad.
He's never been a drinker?
No, he's no drinking, no drugs, no steroids, no nothing.
And we were like, all right, good luck with all that.
Have fun. People get so mad were like, alright, good luck with all that. Have fun.
People get so
mad. Like, folks, relax.
If you don't want to drink, you don't have to
drink. I'm not saying you should drink.
He's a superstar. I'm not drinking right now.
I'm stone cold sober. I didn't drink
at all last night either. I go many,
many days without drinking. You don't have to drink.
I only drink here.
I almost don't drink.
It's fun.
Damn, his shirt was super
corny. But you don't have to do it.
He's got a lot of guts, though.
I'm not mad at his girl, either. Well, it's also like
how many options does he have? It's really interesting when you
think the fact that this guy was competing
in the WWE and
he's going to fight at 170.
It's kind of crazy because, you know, 170 is small.
It's not very big.
Is that a big weight cut for him?
What does he walk around at?
No, it's not a big weight.
He's not a big guy.
But it's even more interesting that this guy was able to compete as a professional wrestler.
Yeah.
Like on television, like to do all that stuff against guys that they must be way bigger than him
because he's not a big guy.
No, he's not a huge guy.
He's going to get fucked up.
How dare you, Eddie Bravo?
How dare you question the man's spirit?
Two years.
You've been training two years.
No, look at this striking.
It's fucking elite.
You've been training two years.
How dare you, Joe Rogan?
It's elite.
How dare you?
It's elite.
It's world class.
Well, it is.
He's fighting at world class level.
Look, he's a guy who's taking a big fucking chance.
We can mock him all day long.
You've got to respect that.
But at the end of the day, you've got to respect the fact that he's going to do it.
I don't think too many other people would do it.
How many other people would do it at his level?
I don't know, man.
Also, I'm very curious to see how he responds to the pressure.
Me too.
That's the one thing that bothers me.
I heard people go, oh, are you worried about the crowd and the UFC jitters?
They're real.
And he goes, I've been in front of big, big crowds.
It's no different.
I'm telling you it's different.
I've played football in way bigger crowds.
Fighting is completely different.
Even though you wrestle and it's one-on-one, it does not count.
Yeah, but the wrestling's not real.
See, that's what I'm saying.
He hasn't done anything competition-wise.
There's no pressure.
Didn't do karate tournaments.
Didn't wrestle.
Didn't kickbox. There's no j. Didn't do karate tournaments. Didn't wrestle. Didn't kickbox.
There's no jiu-jitsu tournaments in his past.
So the only competitions that he's had really realistically are smokers inside the gym,
which I believe they put him through a few.
Oh, they did?
How did he get into the WWE?
How did that happen?
What's that story?
He's not a big guy.
Was he an actor?
How did he do it?
I don't know.
It's a good question.
It's a good question.
He'd have something special about him if he's a small dude.
He's not taking steroids.
Just a famous guy.
He's not taking any steroids and he's doing pro wrestling.
How does that even happen?
He's a good talker.
He's a good talker.
But if you watch his like, I mean he's a good entertainer.
But if you watch like his pro wrestling, there's guys that are in pro wrestling that are just
freak athletes. know and they can
Somersault flip over their opponents and land behind them and then spin them around and get him a figure four toe hold or whatever the
Fuck they do he's not one of those he's not one of those guys
I thought he was the guy who jumped off and did flips and stuff no even that not like those Mexican mass one
No, that's not his thing those guys the craziest. That's not they'll scissor you in the legs and flip you by your own neck
Yeah
You have to do crazy shit. That's just the law if you're gonna be tiny and right you gotta be fucking he was like
the outcast in WWE he was like the
Anti man like would it go against Vicksman Vince McMahon the businessman?
You know, that was his whole are we allowed to see like one? What is this? See anything?
He's jumping through the air. he's going to land on a table?
Is that what you're showing?
They make him do crazy shit there
Well that doesn't mean he's athletic
You're jumping onto a cushion, how crazy
My kids do that
There's a place down the street from here
There's trampolines and they have cushions
Sky Zone
I go there all the time
It's kind of funny
But at the end of the day It it's not like Brock Lesnar.
You look at Brock Lesnar and the way just he would move around, he'd be like, I'd like to see that guy fight for real.
You look at this guy and he's like a reasonable athlete.
Like you look at his body, he's like a reasonably athletic guy who's, you know, looks like he works out.
But you look at his legs, you don't go, Jesus, I bet that guy could jump over the fucking moon.
You know?
Well, yeah.
He's not a big guy.
He's not really athletic.
He's like your everyday average gym guy.
It's like, cool, let's see him fight.
He has a big name.
Hey, you never know.
Everyone's tuning in.
I mean, I do know he won't be the 170-pound champ of the world.
We do know that.
How dare you?
How dare you question what's in a man's heart?
I don't think he wants to do that either.
Look at him next to The Rock. It looks like The Rock's about to eat him. I will eat you. I dare you question what's in a man's heart. I don't think he wants to do that either. Look at him next to The Rock.
It looks like The Rock's about to eat him.
I will eat you.
I would love to see The Rock fight in the end.
He doesn't look too much smaller than The Rock.
Oh, he's way smaller than him, dude.
Not in that picture.
Well...
Look at those arms.
They look similar.
He's got big arms.
They're similar.
He's got big arms.
It's for sure the camera.
I think it's a perspective issue.
Have you seen any of the...
I mean, I'm not degrading his body or anything like that, but if you look at most of the pictures of him wrestling,
like go to that one on the upper left, right-hand side,
go down, scroll down a little, Jamie, that next column,
and there, go to the right, right there, click.
Yeah, you can tell he wasn't taking PDs.
It's like he's a fit guy.
He's in shape.
But, I mean, the difference between him and a Rock or absolutely a Lesnar.
Like Rock is like a big, powerful athlete.
A guy who works out a lot.
He's obviously jacked.
He's a jacked fucking giant dude.
But Brock moves around like a guy who knows how to kill people.
There's a total difference.
When he grabs guys.
What happened recently?
He broke some guy's head open with elbows?
An elbow, yeah.
Did he do it on purpose?
Yeah, for sure. It it was a real cut.
Yeah, but they have a lot of scar tissue up there from taking chairs to the head and stuff.
So if you're going to open a professional wrestler up, do it there.
Jamie, you know this is true?
He supposedly got into a real fight with somebody backstage that didn't know that the thing that was going out in the ring was stage two.
Oh, really?
Some guy got mad that you went too far, bro.
But he didn't because everybody knew about it.
So they planned on doing that in advance.
So the guy in the back was like, you went too far, bro.
He didn't know about it. And he didn't know it was staged.
Is he retarded?
How dare you? It's 2016.
How does he not know it's staged?
It's pro wrestling, right?
Supposedly Brock Lesnar's known for going off script,
which is part of his craziness.
That motherfucker. That off-script motherfucker.
That roid-raging motherfucker.
Yeah, he's a
big fella. It's too bad.
You know, USADA, I don't know what kind
of a suspension they're going to give him, but they're talking about
not giving him that much of a suspension.
He's going to get the Hillary Clinton treatment.
His is straight clone-made, though.
Listen, shut the fuck up. Different than John.
Shut the fuck up.
Is he talking about coming back and fighting another fight?
Oh, yeah, I'm sure he would.
Brock is?
I'm sure he would.
He made a ton of money.
Crazy money.
He really didn't get beat up.
Did well.
Fought Mark Hunt, controlled him on the ground.
Him versus Barnett would be next, I bet.
I was about to say.
That'd be an interesting.
That would be variant.
John Jones, Brock Lesnar facing potential shorter suspensions from USADA.
Listen, they need to just throw USADA.
And they'll go, look, we proved the point.
I think we got it.
You got it.
But how does it work?
Does USADA take the place of the commission now in testing?
No.
No.
It's not that they take the place of the commission.
I believe the commissions are still within their rights to test fighters.
You'd have to actually look that up to make sure that's correct. But the most important thing is the UFC is testing fighters all year round.
You have to give notice of where you are constantly all the time.
So they're testing you whether you're in competition, whether you're out of competition.
They're testing you randomly.
They're showing at your house at 7 o'clock in the morning.
And if they catch you, they're going to suspend you.
But who do they report it to, Joe?
That's a good question.
Who do they report it to? And who makes the decisions? they're going to suspend you. But who do they report it to, Joe? That's a good question. Who do they report it to?
And who makes the decisions?
That's what I'm saying.
Because USADA is hired by the UFC.
They're not a commission.
So the commission and USADA test you.
You get tested by two different bodies.
But remember, USADA, they don't test the whole card.
It's selective testing.
Not USADA, the commission.
But the question is, and this is what we talked about with Scott Coker,
so with the USADA testing, who's an employee of the UFC?
The UFC hired USADA to test their athletes.
That has nothing to do with the commission?
No.
So when USADA, let's say they find Lesnar or Lofsky, random names.
Let's say CM Punk failed a test.
Do they go, hey, Dana, he failed a test?
Like, how does it work?
What's the exact steps?
This was our exact question on Fire and the Kid, and no one answered it, really.
What's the path to?
Like, can Dana go, fuck, all right, well, it's just Molly.
Let's not suspend him for that.
Or he was, you know, it's this.
He's our main event.
Let's not do that.
I don't think it's up to Dana.
No way. There's no way.
I'd like to party.
It's weird to think about. I don't know.
I'd love to. Obviously, there's no way
Dana or whoever's lead
would be Dana's going, well, he
just spent for that. Let's do this.
So when it comes to Bellator, the commission
still checks, but it's
a random thing.
They can't be checking that much. Well,ator, the commission still checks, but it's a random thing? Yeah.
Well, they can't be checking that much.
Well, no, but for Fight Week, they can for sure.
Well, how does that guy Michael Chisley, whatever his name is, get away with it?
Bobby Lashley?
Yeah.
Michael Chisley.
And Michael Chisley.
He's fighting in places that don't have commissions.
I got you.
Like Oklahoma, wherever.
Oh, okay. Certain states don't have commissions. I got you. Like Oklahoma, wherever. Oh, okay.
Certain states don't have their own commission.
So then Bellator, the UFC, is responsible in deciding whether they want to test or not.
Like when Bellator went to England, there's no commission there.
There's no fight commission testing them.
So Bellator had their own testing.
So, yeah.
Which, again, how does that work?
I'm not sure
it's interesting
right
it's very interesting
hey fellas
no commission
do your thing
yeah they should be able
to do whatever the fuck
they want
it's their organization
if they don't want to
hire USADA
and they don't want to
do it that way
let's see what it's like
if you do it the old way
let's see what it's like
you're talking about pride
yeah
we're talking about
Strikeforce
or the UFC
pre-days you're talking about Uber. No, we're talking about Strikeforce. Or the UFC pre-days.
You're talking about Ubering versus Brock.
Without mentioning names,
you can see such a difference
in some people's bodies in the UFC now
that they've cracked down on this shit.
No one more than Ubering.
Well, maybe Vitor.
Like TRT Vitor?
That was a weird one because it was so transparent.
Because it was TRT. He was taking it. It was legally prescribed. Yeah, I'm believe that was a weird one because it was so transparent because it was TRT
I mean he was taking it. It was legally prescribed. Yeah Vitor's number one on that
He's number one also number one for like the poster boy for results like Jesus. Where do I sign?
Like fuck
Explosive if you show a kid a video like dad why the fuck when I do it? I have no argument son
I have no argument like a human and a lion made a baby
No argument, son.
I have no argument.
Like a human and a lion made a baby.
For real.
It's like even Tanner.
He was Tanner.
The mohawk, the whole thing comes out.
It like crosses, shaved into his head.
Went uber religious.
It was intense.
Jesus ain't putting that testosterone in your blood, son.
Well, that was one of the things that he said after he got off of it,
is that he has a holy supplement that he doesn't need TRT anymore. How's that working out for you?
Well, it just took a while for the holy supplement to really...
Yeah, the blood of Christ.
I'm still fucking waiting.
Yeah.
Just pray every day.
Get jacked.
Who's Weidman going to fight?
That's what I want to know.
He's fighting in New York, though.
Well, he should be.
But, I mean, damn, he was, like, in the mix.
Now they're talking about Rumble versus Jon Jones for a shot at the title.
And they're talking about, is that supposed to be at Madison Square Garden?
Is that what they're saying?
That's what they're saying.
So wouldn't it be Rockhold Weidman 2?
Right?
Rockhold Weidman 2 would be fucking awesome.
Because you have Bisping Henderson for the title in England happening in October.
That's in Manchester.
In November, you'd have Weidman versus Rockhold, right?
It's not a bad idea, but then what do you do with Yoel Romero?
He's still in the mix.
Very much so.
Yeah, not really.
You don't think he's in the mix?
Not when it comes to those guys.
What do you mean, though?
It's hard to market.
You can market the fuck out.
You're not going to put Yoel versus one of these guys in New York.
It's a huge, huge Madison Square Garden.
He's coming off suspension.
Rock, cold, Weidman, we're going to watch.
Let me tell you something.
I will see Yoel Romero fight against fucking anybody.
Wow.
Rashad Evans.
Maybe Rashad Evans versus Yoel Romero.
No, Rashad's fighting Tim Kennedy.
What is this?
MSG.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
This is the only one that's supposedly confirmed. Holy shit. Powerful Tim Kennedy. Jesus is this? MSG. Yeah. Holy shit. November says the only one that's supposedly confirmed.
Powerful Tim Kennedy.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
That's interesting.
So Kennedy's back in full training mode.
Oh, yeah.
Because he's been overseas.
He's always in shape.
He's been still serving.
Well, he was in kill mode.
Yeah.
This is fight mode.
This is easy mode for him.
Get ready for a fight?
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's easy.
Talk about a guy living an intense life.
Tough fight for Rashad.
I like the matchup, though.
It's interesting to see if he can make that 185 cut, because he's not a big 205-er, and
he was carrying around quite a bit of muscle.
I'm surprised Tim went on with the Reebok deal.
I wonder what did it for him.
I don't know.
Maybe he just wants to fight.
He was more outspoken than I was.
He wants to fight. Maybe he just wants a fight. He was more outspoken than I was. He wants a fight.
Maybe he just wants a fight.
But, yeah, man, it's interesting to see what can happen without the Reebok deal,
without USADA over Bellator.
And they're slowly starting to get top talent.
I mean, now they've got Benson.
They've got Rory.
Rory's by far the biggest.
By far the best, right?
And biggest.
Young, has a lot of fight left in him.
Ben's right up there with him.
Benson Henderson?
Too many wars.
He's had some wars.
Too many wars.
He's slipped a little bit.
I mean, he might still be a leader of the elite, but at one point in time, he's accomplished
more than any of them.
Yes.
I mean, he was...
He's amazing.
Yeah, I mean, he was...
He's the champ.
Yeah.
WC champ.
WC champ.
Even on our podcast, he even kind of talked, he kind of hinted at, you know, he's coming
to the end of sort of what he considers his MMA career.
Well, he can only do it for so long.
But he didn't hint that, no, he still, he thinks he's going to be champ, and he's obviously
fighting for the belt.
Sure.
He's fighting Chandler for the belt, which is a tough fucking fight for him.
Tough fucking fight.
Chandler's a nightmare.
He's dangerous. And Ben hasn't, you know, I love fight for him. Tough fucking fight. Chandler's a nightmare. He's dangerous.
And Ben hasn't, you know, I love Ben, but he hasn't looked that great in Pelotor.
Lost his first fight.
His last fight with Pitbull, not a great fight.
I'm actually losing that fight until Pitbull got hurt.
Rory's going to take a whole year off for his nose.
For his nose, yeah.
He's going to fight 2016.
And that's from Robbie Lawler.
Yeah.
Well, Wonderboy too.
Smash him up fight.
Well, Wonderboy opened it up.
But as Robbie Lawler broke it so bad in that fight that he broke it twice more in training
for Wonderboy.
Yep.
Just keeps breaking.
So I don't know if he gets surgery for that.
Like, what do you do?
I would imagine.
He thinks just time.
Like, he had the proper surgery, but he keeps rushing back and it's just not getting better.
Can't breathe.
Hmm.
It's all that shit.
If he had the proper surgery and he went and got smashed up again,
it's probably got to be cleared up again.
So maybe that's why he's taking a year.
That is such an issue with fighters because they want to get their nose fixed,
but if you do get your nose fixed, you really shouldn't get punched in it for a while.
But if you don't get your nose fixed, then you can't breathe out of your fucking nose.
Yeah, you have to do it.
Yeah, it's a real weird one.
Vanderlei had the craziest solution.
Make your nose bigger.
Go to get surgery, take a chunk of cartilage out of your rib and make me a big nose that I can really breathe out of.
Give me that LeBron James nose.
I'll take the LeBron.
He got this extra chunk in his nose where his nose was bigger than it was before his fighting career.
He got a nose job.
Let's be real here.
He got a nose job that makes your nose bigger.
Yes.
Which is crazy.
Which is rare.
No one's ever done that.
Hollywood is like, dude, what?
Yeah, I want it bigger.
Bigger with my nostrils like this.
So the air's like ram.
Like it's ram air right into my fucking nostrils.
Like he's got a hood scoop on.
If you want, I guess, man.
It's fucking nuts nuts we think about it
that is funny man it is funny yeah he's uh he had to get all sorts of stuff done he had to get his
eyebrows cut down he had so much scar tissue around his eyes that his eyes were sagging yeah
he had his facelift well he got all this scar tissue cut and then they pull it up let's see
it before and after well you can see that he's got deep scars all around his eyes.
Like, Vanderlei has been in some fucking wars.
Legend, legend, legend.
And then on top of that, he comes from shoot the box, and they're sparring sessions.
Nobody spars like they used to spar.
Hell no.
Like, today, nobody does it like that.
They used to knock each other out for fun.
You can't.
You can't spar like that.
There's an old story of Vanderlei.
Before and after.
Oh, that's not.
That's not even a good one.
That's not even a good one.
No, because that right one's not the new one.
Well, the right one is, the one on the right-hand side is relaxed, like after the surgery.
Go above there, like there, like there.
You can see, like, it's, you got to see him, like, right after the surgery.
That says nose number three.
He's had three different noses?
Look, it says one, two, three.
You see that, Jamie?
Nose one.
The next one's two.
Yeah, so what that is is that's right after surgery,
and that's when it's a little bit more relaxed, I guess.
But yeah, he had to get sliced down.
That guy's had some crazy wars.
Him and Shogun fought over a pit bull puppy, supposedly,
and he knocked Shogun out
and took the puppy
like they made a
context
if I knock you out
I get the puppy for free
if you knock me out
I'll give you
you know
whatever
whatever you're asking
that's some Brazilian shit
you actually do a really
good Vanderlei impression
Vanderlei
sounds just like
Dana White
you know
this is
what they've done
in Nevada
this is the
athletic commission what they've done in Nevada. This is the athletic commission.
What they've done is not good.
It's almost as good as Callan.
It's very good.
Just like him.
They fucked him, man.
He might have got fucked more than any MMA fighter ever.
They banned him for life.
For life.
For life.
And he won.
So they threw it out.
But now he doesn't have a license.
He doesn't have a timeline. He doesn't have a timeline.
He doesn't have it.
And they're talking about him fighting.
They were talking about him fighting Fedor in Japan in like December, right?
In Ryzen, yeah.
They even had posters and shit.
I don't know if that's ever going to happen.
When does a guy like that, after all that damage, stop?
Him versus Fedor, I'll watch, though.
Live to fight.
Fight is a good fight.
It's like a Brazilian Arnold Schwarzenegger
Come on do it
Come on do it
Dana White
Back to pride
Dude you wanna hear a fucking
A crazy story I heard
About Jake Ellenberger
This is from his camp
So
Jake after his last fight
Have you heard this?
No
Jake after his last fight
Gets cut
Josepho calls him like yeah man
oh yeah i see you cut jake flies to vegas shows up at the ufc headquarters meet with dana he's in
his office he's like i need one more man i you gotta give me one more i fought monsters my head
wasn't right i have all this shit going on you gotta give me one more dan's like i can't man
you've lost whatever four out of your last five it just ain't happening gets. Gets up, leaves, and Jake goes, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going anywhere until you give me another fight.
I'm not doing anything.
He's staying there, leaves, does all his shit, comes back.
Jake's still in his office.
Good for Jake.
Jesus Christ, man.
Fine.
One more fucking shot.
Days go by.
Days go by.
Joe Civil calls his manager, his manager Morgan, who I know really well.
And he goes, all right, man, we got your boy fucking fight.
We got Matt Brown.
And his manager goes, Jesus, man, Matt Brown.
I don't know if we do have anyone else.
And Joe Civil goes, no, that's the fight.
Just forget it.
He doesn't have a fight.
Hangs up.
And Morgan's like, no, no, no.
We'll fucking take it.
And he calls Jake.
And then obviously Jake goes in there. Terrible
matchup for him, just starches Matt
Brown. Knocks him down with a right hand,
takes him off his feet and then liver kicks him.
Great story, man. Amazing.
When they told us about it, I had goosebumps.
Good for you, Jake. Good for
you, man. Damn, desperation can sometimes
breed great success.
Well, he also started working with Nick Kersan.
You know, Nick Kersan you know Nick Kersan
who's a strength
and conditioning
trainer
speed of sport
he's Marv Marinovich's
disciple
and he's the guy
that's done Joe Schilling
he handles
Provodnikov
Aaron Pico
like a lot of
elite athletes
go to him
it's really like
pretty revolutionary
strength and conditioning
ideas
and he worked with him
and like really built up his training and built up his endurance
and did a lot of plyos and shit with him.
For Jake, obviously he was fighting just monsters.
It seemed to be a little bit of a mental thing.
He's been fighting forever.
He's been fighting the best of the best.
Yes, it's hard to...
First fight in the UFC is against Carlos Condit.
Yeah, man.
Remember, he knocked out Jake Shields, too.
Knocked him out, starched him. Was his first fight in the UFC or was Condit's first fight in the UFC? against Carlos Condit. Yeah, man. Remember he knocked out Jake Shields, too. Knocked him out, starched him.
Was his first fight in the UFC or was it
Condit's first fight in the UFC? It was Ellenberger.
I want to say Condit's first fight in the UFC was
Ellenberger.
Who was Ellenberger's first
fight in the UFC then? I want to know.
That's interesting. It wasn't Nate, right?
No. Ellenberger's a beast, man.
He was way down the road. Remember when he knocked out
Pele? Yes. Outside of the UFC, KO'd Pele with one punch. I was like, whoo! a beast, man. He was way down the road. Remember when he knocked out Pele? Yes.
Outside of the UFC, KO'd Pele with one punch.
Crazy power, man.
Crazy power.
Pele Landy.
Carlos Condit.
Carlos Condit was his first fight as well.
So I think it was Carlos' first fight as well.
Hmm.
Decision split.
Real close fight.
And remember when Jake Ellenberger beat Shields?
That's the same week Shields' dad passed away,
and he was thinking about not fighting.
He took the fight and just got start.
Not to take anything away from that fight.
He was super close to his dad, too.
Super, super close.
No, I can't.
It's hard to imagine.
Hard to imagine fighting right after losing your dad like that.
Like, your motivation would be out the window.
His dad was his manager, too, I think.
Yeah.
It's a bummer, man.
Yeah.
What is this?
This rumor, Conor McGregor versus GSP at 205.
Where are you hearing this?
I was looking around for rumor-ville stuff for that fight,
and there's supposedly a big fight announcement is all I saw,
and then I saw a big McGregor fight announcement.
That would be awesome.
Couldn't be worse fight for Conor.
Prepare to get wrestle-fucked.
That's just a rumor right now.
Prepare to get that French fuck.
I would love to see that fight.
Prepare to get French fucked for 25 minutes.
Give me my fucking money back.
It would be interesting, man, because Conor is fast as fuck.
And at least in that first round, while he's exploding with those ridiculous sprint punches
that he lands, he lands those counter shots on you and they're so fast.
St. Pierre's not slow.
He's not slow.
And he's way, way too smart to get caught with that.
And he's big.
He's a big boy.
And he can grapple with the best of them.
And his natural walk around weight
is a solid 20 plus pounds heavier solid 190 yeah yeah he's probably in the least in the high 180s
and connor weighed 168 against nate which you got to assume that that's him not really cutting
weight he's just really fit for for connor man everyone knows i'm a the biggest connor fan but
you look at the matchups at 55, besides 45,
which you can't really make anymore,
but you look at 55 and then these super fights,
it's not great, man.
Well, they're talking about doing him and Eddie Alvarez.
That is no picnic.
No.
That is no picnic.
And that's his easiest matchup at 55.
Definitely not his easiest.
No, just go through the top five.
Bring up the top five, Jimmy.
I went through this the other day.
I'm like, Jesus Christ, man.
I could not imagine how you could say that the champion would be his easiest fight.
Eddie Alvarez?
Stylistically.
I don't think that's an easy fight for anybody.
Eddie Alvarez is a fucking monster.
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
It's not good for Conor.
It's a rough fight for him.
Right.
But stylistically, out of the top five, I'm like, fuck sakes, man.
He doesn't want to fight Khabib.
Well, Dos Anjos is going to fight Tony motherfucking Ferguson.
Both those two are top five.
Rafael Dos Anjos, Tony Ferguson in Mexico.
That's going to be great.
In Mexico, my friend.
That's going to be great.
Look at the top five for me, Joe.
Look at that.
Khabib Nurmagomedov.
Nurmagomedov is a monster.
We'll see.
Dos Anjos and Tony Ferguson are locked in a death fucking match for the number one position.
Let's say the winner of that.
Even the winner of that.
Or either of those guys.
Even the loser fights, Connor.
It's a fucking tough fight.
Okay.
And Barboza.
Well, here's the thing about Barboza.
Barboza's kicks are out of this fucking world.
Lightning fast.
He might be, but he's been caught before.
He's been cracked.
Barboza's your best bet.
Cowboy cracked him and took his back, and Donald Cerrone in him would be chaos.
Donald would take him down.
Donald is not fighting 55 anymore.
No.
He's going to keep fighting at 170, so I don't even know why they got him ranked there.
I think he's top 10 right now at welterweight as well. He's number 7, yeah, isn't he?
Yeah, Donald Cerrone, 7.
It's interesting. He's top
10 in both weight classes. He's fighting better than he's
ever fought. I mean, he's just incredible.
How dare you have him before Neil Magny? No, no, no.
How dare you? I think
I think
Donald, especially after that last win, should be
number 5 in that lineup. He beat
Edson Barbosa.
Yes, he did, but he beat him at lightweight,
and now he's not really fighting at lightweight anymore.
But, yeah, you've got a good point because Barbosa is listed as number four.
But Barbosa's looked sensational,
especially in his last fight against Gilbert Melendez.
Barbosa's just off the charts technically. I know, but you've got to count head-to-head for God's sakes.
I know, I agree.
And then before that, his fight with Pettis.
But the fact that Donald is semi-retired from that division,
you've got to give Barbosa a little bit of a bump.
But you see my thing, Joey?
You look at it, all right, Khabib, fuck's sakes.
Dos Anjos, good God.
Tony Person, not great.
Nate Diaz at 55, he's better at 55 than he was 70.
Why?
I think it's natural for him.
I think he's going to be faster, better
cardio. I think it's a tough fight.
Maybe. All I'm saying
for Conor, 55,
if you're his management, you're like,
God damn, man. There's no, like,
you know what I'm saying? Right. There's a lot of killers. I don't think he's
looking for easy fights. I think he wants big money.
I didn't say that. I didn't say that. If you want big money,
fight Floyd Mayweather. You do a super fight with
some of these guys.
Donald Cerrone-McGregor would be awesome.
It would be awesome.
How is Tumanov ranked 15th at 170?
I don't know.
The welterweight division is insane.
It is insane.
That's insane.
Yeah, it is insane.
And then did you see how good Lorenz Larkin looked against Neil Magny?
Good Lord.
How is he ranked lower than Neil Magny?
Why is he nine and Neil's eight?
Because these Reddings suck.
That's terrible.
He just ran through Neil Magny.
What Cheeto fingers do these?
He literally ran through him in the first round.
Oh, like a knife to warm butter.
Just starch my boy Neil Magny.
How is he ranked below him?
That is insane.
What about Kelvin right there?
Kelvin, number five.
By the way, Tumanov beat Neil Magny.
Excuse me, Lorenz Larkin.
So Tumanov won a decision against Lorenz Larkin,
and he's down there at number 15,
whereas Lorenz just destroyed Neil Magny,
and he's at nine and Magny's at eight.
These rankings are retarded.
They're so bad.
Maybe they're old.
They're probably old.
I doubt they're old. No, they're not old because they have the up and down signs. Well, These rankings are retarded. They're so bad. Maybe they're old. They're probably old. I doubt they're old.
No, they're not old because they have the up and down signs.
Well, this is what it is. These rankings are journalists.
Do you know how these things are established?
Journalists.
A bunch of journalists give their top pick and half of them are drunk.
They're not paying attention. They're doing drugs.
Half of them are jacking off to their favorite
fighter. Well, it doesn't make any
sense. Those ratings don't make any sense.
Tumanoff being at 15, Lorenz Larkin
who he beat, being ranked
way above him, and then Neil Magny being above
him when he just blew Magny
out of the water in the first round. Doesn't make any sense.
Remember when they're getting base guys pay off
the rankings and the fighter's like, what
the fuck is going on here?
Dana's like, just fucking with you. This is going to be Reebok.
Yeah. Just fucking with you. We ain't doing that. That's crazy. I'm just fucking with you. It's going to be Reebok. Yeah.
Just fucking with you.
We ain't doing that.
That's crazy. I'm just messing with you.
That's crazy.
Yeah, the rankings and the money and all that jazz, it's just, what a mess.
But yeah, for Conor, it gets tough at 55.
I'd love to see him fight Eddie, though.
I agree.
Great fight.
He could win.
That's probably the fight.
He could beat him.
That's probably the fight.
Then what happens? If he gets the belt then's probably the fight. He could beat him. That's probably the fight. Then what happens?
If he gets the belt then,
he would probably defend against Khabib.
Yeah, good luck with all that.
Yeah, that's a disaster.
I don't think anyone wants to fight Khabib.
No one.
It's not even a Conor issue.
It's an entire fucking division.
They're just hoping that he keeps training
like a fucking werewolf
and then tears another knee
or blows his back out.
That's what everybody does,
is stay back while that guy
whips himself into a frenzy in every training camp.
If I'm his coach, that bitch is just on the aerodyne.
That's his whole camp.
Aerodyne wears that crazy Russian hat
and then jumps in the fucking octagon.
He just jumps from the sauna into the frozen lake.
I don't want people talking to him.
I just have a bubble around him.
Aerodyne, crazy Russian hat.
Do sprints, Build up that cardio.
He's a fucking nightmare.
When you watch him
fight Dos Anjos
and you see how
Dos Anjos just overwhelms
guys with grappling
and pressure
and then Habib
just ragdolled him.
He's nuts.
Just ragdolled him.
Oh, you like to grapple?
Check this shit out.
This is my favorite
thing to do.
I like to break people.
My daycare was
grappling grizzly bears,
you fuck.
Check this out.
Does he have a fight coming up, Khabib?
Is he scheduled to fight anybody right now?
No, he doesn't have anything.
No, he doesn't have anything.
Why?
Probably injuries.
I don't know.
He's always healthy.
I think he's healthy.
I hope he is.
He won a fight recently against a guy who took the fight on real short notice.
And it was straight Mayhem Miller bully beatdown style.
It was a pretty ferocious beatdown.
Nasty.
But he looked like it was good for him
to get that fight under his belt,
but he did look like a killer.
He's a killer.
I mean, his grappling is so next level.
The injuries are killing him, man.
Trains hard.
Dude, did you see his video
of him in Russia doing a signing for Reebok?
No.
It was like Tom Cruise shit.
Oh, I'm sure. They freaked the fuck out fuck out dude anytime i post anything about the ufc my instagram
like comments get swarmed with khabib khabib time khabib time oh my god in other parts of the world
like here he is you see like this fucking the high level smash and grappling this guy has you're
right joe this was good for him though this was good for him because he had a lot of time off with the injuries.
Daryl Horcher, to get that fight
under his belt, feel good.
He does whatever he wants. He's so
powerful. When it comes to his grappling,
Look at this Dos Anjos thing. Yeah, play that fight.
Play him versus Dos Anjos.
Full fight.
He's a goddamn werewolf,
man.
Even the way he leaps in and throws punches, he's so ferocious.
It's hard to stay healthy when you train like that, though.
I don't know what a guy does.
Some guys are fucking figuring out.
Hey, answer me this.
How come they can show this on YouTube?
Is it because it's in a little window?
Yeah, this is the tricks they play.
This is a little window.
There's this faded line over here.
This is also going to add to like tricking the computer.
It might have different music on it.
They added this on top of it.
Definitely illegal.
Yeah.
It's definitely illegal.
Yeah, scoot up ahead so we don't have to watch him walk in.
Yeah, it's interesting, man.
This guy has been more plagued with injuries than any elite fighter other than Dominic Cruz.
Dominic Cruz and him probably take the cake.
But Dominic Cruz had how many fights before he started getting all these injuries?
He hasn't had that many fights in the UFC.
And he's undefeated, which is really crazy.
No one at this level is undefeated.
Nurmagomedov is the only guy that's undefeated.
Just because he hasn't fought enough, though.
But it's the fucking pressure.
Look at this guy.
When he moves forward, just massive pressure.
Constant pressure.
But good distance control.
Yeah, great distance.
Just outside the range, but always putting that pressure on you.
Skinny Dos Anjos, too.
It's a good kick to the body, but yeah, a lot skinnier Dos Anjos.
This is the fight that probably got him to start lifting weights and drinking watermelon juice.
Boom.
Look at this.
Look at this. Look at this. Look at this.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Look who carries him around and just drags him to the ground.
Dude, his grappling is so next level.
Combat Sambo, my friend.
Master of sport.
World champion.
Unreal.
Just so fucking brutal.
And the style that he does, it's like it makes sense that this guy gets injured a lot
because his style is pedal to the metal.
Spelosive, yeah.
And you've got to train like this.
There's no way he doesn't train like this.
So if you're training like this all the time, you're dealing with little injuries,
little micro injuries that get exacerbated, and then your fucking knees blow out.
Let's get the fuck out of here, boys.
Let's wrap this bitch up.
Let's bring it home.
I'm enjoying this. Let's bring it home I'm enjoying this fight
Let's bring it home
How long did that fight go?
Three rounds
Three round beating
Oh okay
I always feel like I'm
Particularly quiet
Because I'm watching the fights
Did he stop him?
In the third round?
No no he just overwhelmed him
It was a decision
Yeah
Overwhelmed him
Just kept Osangios
Kept Osangios defending
That's all he was doing
Was defending towards the end of the fight
Habib Habib I've worn his hat several times Twice at least Sweaty hat He puts it on me when we Kev Dos Anjos defending. That's all he was doing was defending towards the end of the fight.
Habib.
Habib.
I've worn his hat several times, twice at least. Have you?
Sweaty hat.
He puts it on me when I interview him after he wins.
I forget what that thing's called, the big crazy hat.
It's called a babushka, I think.
Is it?
Really?
Babushka.
Are you sure?
Look it up.
What is that thing called?
Find out what that thing's called.
That might be just a wig, but I think it's a babushka.
No, no, no. It's a warm hat, man.
It's probably like lamb's fur or sheep fur or something like that.
There it is.
What is it called?
No.
That's not it?
Well, babushka's a grandmother, but the hat, I think the hat, headscarf tied under the chin.
Close, though.
There you go.
Well, what is that?
Well, just Google Nurmagomedov's hat.
It was just for babushka hat.
Someone will have the name of it.
I don't think it's a babushka, bro.
I think it kind of looks like a babushka, but I think it's a...
See, is that a babushka?
It says a shanka.
Okay, well, just Google Nurmagomedov's hat.
Because he comes from a very particular place, Dagestan,
and they have their own kind of hat.
Is it Dagestan?
Yeah, see right there.
Habib Nurgamadov hat.
Habib hat.
Maybe it's just called a Habib hat.
Find out what it is.
There it goes.
Dagestani.
Distinctive hat.
The heritage behind his distinctive hat.
Papeka.
P-A-P-A-K-H-A.
It means hat.
They call it hat. They're matter-of-P-A-K-H-A It means hat They call it hat
Matter of fact people
It says a very shaggy wild papaka
And papaka simply means hat
Unborn lamb fur
Jesus Christ
What is it? Unborn lamb
What? He made the hat wear the fur of unborn lamb
How's that?
Is that real?
Super soft
They give birth to them like that? Is that real? Yeah. It's super soft.
So they give birth to them like that?
No, they take it out of the womb. That doesn't make any sense.
They take it out of the womb and they take the fur that's already there because it's
extra soft.
But does that make sense that they could get that much fur that long inside the womb?
Yeah, they do that stuff too.
So one car company I can remember was using cow fetus because the leather was super soft.
Shut the fuck up.
Swear to God.
What company?
I think it was Infinity.
No way.
Uh-huh.
Think how many animals they'd have to kill, B.
They were using cow fetus.
Cow fetus is like, it's in the womb and it's so soft.
It's pretty fucking brutal if you think about it.
Infinity was doing that?
I believe it was some car company.
You better not say that.
They'd be getting sued.
It was some car company.
You're going to get sued.
I will.
No, you're going to get sued.
Yeah, they're going to sue me because they waited for the cat to be born, then they used it.
Wow, how weird, huh?
It's pretty, yeah.
Well, you know, that's what lamb is.
I was trying to explain something.
They're like, what's the difference between sheep and lamb?
A lamb's a baby sheep.
It's a baby sheep.
And someone looked at me like, what? I go, yeah sheep It's a baby sheep Someone looked at me like, what?
Yeah, it's a baby sheep
How do you not know that?
It's delicious
Yeah, you didn't know that?
Where lamb skin condoms are made from baby sheep?
Goddamn, that's savage
There's a difference between a lamb and a sheep
If you eat lamb, you're eating a baby sheep
But if you eat mutton, you're eating a sheep
That's right
So the people in Scotland eating mutton Scotland They're eating that stuff that's a different that's a much more don't kill
the lambs gamey i don't fuck with lambs i slaughter the lambs really good for you slaughter those
fuckers it's really like a very healthy protein very easy to digest to a lot of people yeah i
love lamb don't fuck with lamb or pig i do i do do. I do. Don't fuck with pig? I eat pig. Not on that bacon thing? I eat lamb.
I eat pussy.
Yeah, I like bacon.
Bacon's good.
But I don't like domesticated pigs.
The whole pig industry, it bothers me because pigs are smart and they're all penned up like
that.
There's only one way to get bacon outside of that.
You got to find a dude who's a farmer who's ethical.
You got to find a guy who's a farmer who's ethical. You've got to find a guy who's a farmer who's
given their...
Joel Salatin, what he does is he
moves his giant piece of land
and he moves his pigs around with electric
fences. So he sets up an electric
perimeter and then he moves it and sets up
a new electric perimeter. And then he moves it
so they're constantly foraging
like regular pigs, but they're constantly contained so they're they're domesticated but
they have dark meat like a wild pig does because the other pigs aren't they eating just every like
their shit everything they're seeing bullshit everything they can get their hands on it's a
hard scrabble life they do the emberico ham the blackfoot hog they eat acorns that's why that
fucking prosciutto
I got some in that
Refrigerator back there
Really
Yeah
My buddy brought them back
Chris Ryan
Dr. Chris Ryan
Brought it back from Spain
What is it salami or something
You're gonna have to cut me off
Some stuff
No it's like prosciutto
It's the best prosciutto
In the world
The fuck
We could have a fight
Companion with pig prosciutto
You guys would be
Smacking into the
I'm gonna have to
Get some of that
Just animated gifs
Of you popping Peanuts in your mouth and chewing.
I'll snack on some nuts.
All of us.
All of us are guilty.
We didn't drink any wine this one.
We didn't.
That's why it was a good podcast.
That's a good point.
No more wine.
I'm afraid I'm the wine master and I must reserve the wine for after the five companions.
Sometimes we just get a little hammered.
A little hammered. A little hammered.
A little high.
Wine gets you going, man.
A little ridiculized.
This is a non-drunk podcast.
Yeah, it was a noon podcast.
We're responsible.
We're all parents.
Good God.
We're four dads.
This is our new sitcom.
It's called Four Dads.
Four Dads.
Escape.
Four dads.
We don't watch the fights.
We don't know what's going on.
This is the only place where we can be ourselves because we live with women.
With women.
And by ourselves, we mean we talk about fighting at nausea.
This is what you do.
You get all those four bitches to move into a house together and take care of the kids.
And we'll move into a house right next door and just have fight companions every day.
And swap.
And come over and go, this place smells like men.
Ew.
They come over and pick up your sock.
Is this yours, Brendan?
Brian, you left pizza on the fucking counter.
Sorry.
We're like, sorry.
You live over in their world, bro.
You got to live by their rules.
You got to not use those special towels.
Did you use the towel that's hanging?
It's a towel. It's a fucking towel.
Of course I used it. That's a decorative towel.
This is a different kind of towel. And it's guys. We sleep
in the same bed, but it's guys. We're like, this is
awesome. We're naked. We don't care.
Look at my dick. We're not scared of dicks.
I got a morning hard on you guys. Look at this thing.
I'm not scared. Brandon, grab it.
Let's see how big your hand is on my dick.
Who came first? You assholes.
I'm down, man. My prostate's big because I'm older, so I'm dribbling, you guys.
Eddie, you'll see you shoot.
One of the things I think about, Brian, whenever we go on these hunting trips,
is like it's all dudes.
We're all like, and Ronell and his crew who are the fucking salt of the earth.
And we're hanging around just laughing.
I'm like, this is what we're supposed to do.
It's true.
What men are supposed to do is get in these groups and they go out
and they just leave the women alone.
The women talk shit about you while you're gone.
Yep.
And then enough time passes where they miss you and you come back and they meet you at
the door and you hug.
This is traditional.
That's right.
When you're all on top of each other all the time, it just wears on each other.
Right.
And we have so much fun on those.
That's with anyone.
The timing trips are all one big comedy show.
Well, it's all men being men.
Yeah.
It's saying things that will get you in real trouble if people heard.
Don't you feel like you're doing that in general, though, when you're doing your comedy and
hanging out with your friends and the companions and shit?
Yes, but when you're in the middle of Alaska, like we're literally miles from anything,
including other animals, by the way, you just end up, there's something that happens to
you where you just want to say the most outrageous shit.
Because you're like, how can I one-up Joe now?
I'm going to say something outrageous that's going to even shock me.
No, I get that.
But you could do it at dinner, though, right?
Yeah, but there's a difference.
When you're in the woods and you're doing this,
and me and Brian are specifically geared for fucking with each other
in those kind of situations.
And I also know that what he's saying, he doesn't mean, and he's joking,
and I'm expecting him to take it to another place that's even more fucked up and it just keeps going and when we were in montana the
first time it was literally five days of gay jokes oh yeah and a few with a few wife beating jokes
thrown in there i took a shit choke fuck jokes and i took a shit i took a shit and joe took a
fucking he put a flag in it. I made an aluminum foil flag.
He fucking put a flag in it.
In my shit.
Terrible shit, too.
A terrible mountain.
I have dehydrated mountains.
You didn't bury it?
Huh?
You don't bury your shit in the woods?
I'm not fucking buried.
I'm in the middle of, that place sucked.
I'm sorry about the shit.
Nobody's going to be like, goddammit, in the Missouri breaks where it's all clear and nothing
grows, how dare you take a shit there? You you ruin the landscape fuck well it was a mustard poo you were supposed to take it and put it in
bags and most of the time we did that no bags occasionally because you were you're supposed
to like protect the environment you don't want a bunch of shit especially your shit after you've
been eating that dehydrated mountain food that comes in a pouch. You can't just bury it?
You can bury it, too. Yeah, I buried it.
That's probably the best way.
You can bury it, or you can put a flag in it.
No, you bury it like a gentleman.
With a message that says, Brian was here.
Well, he shit on a log, and then I put aluminum foil.
I'm seeing if I have it in here.
Aluminum foil flag in the log.
Yeah.
It was good times.
Yeah, and by the way, we were in our late 40s.
Yes.
This was a couple months ago.
Both taxpaying adults.
Taxpaying adults.
How often do you think you guys could do that?
Like once a year?
I do it.
I could do it once a month.
Once a month.
I mean, if I'm with him, which is the fun of being an idiot.
You go hunting once a month.
No, but being an idiot, being out there and being miserable, but kind of having fun at
the same time, there's something about it that makes, it brings out in many ways the
best of you. You have a good time even though you're time. There's something about it that makes, it brings out in many ways the best of you.
You have a good time even though you're miserable.
It's bonding.
Like you're miserable and you're cold and you're wet, but you're laughing your ass off.
Like when we finally made that fire and I mean, have you ever enjoyed a fire that much?
We were rained on for like five days in a row and then we finally got a dry night and
we got a bunch of the guys from camp to find as many small pieces of dry wood
as we could we stacked it on top of each other and started lighting fritos you were wet joe joe
didn't bring the proper rain gear he was basically wet including his sleeping bag he was wet the
whole time and i remember we were in that tent i was looking at you and you were you were just
talking but you were shaking you were shivering and your lips your lips were going and they were jiggling back and forth
he's got huge lips but and you just kept talking and it was just it was just guess what it's the
morning our body temperature is low we're wet we're cold as fuck and we're gonna be cold until
we start walking yeah but once you start walking even though you're wet you're wearing wool clothes
that's the thing about those first light merino wool keeps you warm even when you're wet you're wearing wool clothes that's the thing about those first light merino wool keeps you warm yeah even when you're wet how many days we were there for six
days yeah it was awesome though man even though it sucked i think about the memory and it was
awesome yeah and then also the landscape was awesome it's just it's so wild there man you
guys should do that shit every saturday at runyon or some you'd be surprised though because you do
the memory brings you back that's turkey hunting look. Look at that. Look at how handsome I am. I mean, we are.
That was in
Northern California. That was hilarious
because we would go turkey hunting during the day
and then Brian and I would go to the
finest restaurants at night because
there was all these amazing restaurants
in Napa. Oh, really? These fucking guys wanted
to pretend they were camping. So they went back
to this Airbnb house and made like
fucking burgers.
I go, come on, guys.
It's on me.
Let's go eat.
Let's get wine.
Yes.
Well, that's the way to do it.
Of course. That's the course.
I'm down for that.
Yes.
We drink the best wine and eat the best food.
I'm the world.
Brian and I went to this fucking insane restaurant.
And I had this short rib risotto that I still jerk off to this day.
God, that sounds fucking fresh.
It had like shaved squash, like a pumpkin-y taste to it.
I haven't eaten it today either, so I'm just fine.
With risotto and like this rich like burgundy sauce,
like a red wine sauce for the short ribs.
I'm getting nostalgic right now looking at these pictures.
Do we have a good time, man?
I just did one without you.
It wasn't as fun.
You didn't bring me. Well, I couldn't.
You don't know how to shoot a bow and arrow, you fuck.
Fuck, that's right.
But you could be there for moral support and just pull Joe's hips.
I could have practiced and I could have
held your hips while you shot.
You could do that.
I could have gotten in your ear while you were drawing and I could have gone,
control your breathing, control your breathing, control your breathing.
This is going to feel like what it is, and it is what it is.
You know, the more spectacular thing about it, or the weirdest thing about it, is being introduced to the world of public land.
That's one of the weirder things about hunting that I didn't anticipate.
What do you mean?
We own human beings that live in the United States and pay taxes, we own enormous chunks of land that are public land that you can go hiking on and rafting and you can go fishing and hunting if you have the proper tags and licenses.
And it's not like this anywhere in the world.
Like, we have this incredible resource.
We have all this public land that you can go and explore on.
And it's all amazing.
There's so much amazing wilderness in this country.
Where were you?
We were in Nevada in the high country desert.
What is that like?
Five hours outside of Reno.
You go to Reno and then you go five hours into the desert.
Hot as fuck.
You drove five hours?
Mm-hmm.
What the fuck are you hunting out there?
Deer.
Mule deer.
And what's that topography like?
Oh, it's alien, man.
It's amazing.
These hills that are covered in sage and then these patches of small mahogany and like desert
trees.
And there's springs.
You got to find, you find springs and the animals generally go near the springs and
the springs are really easy to find because you're looking on this like sort of grayish,
greenish, dry landscape. And then you see these lush green patches and then you go to those lush green
patches and that's where there's springs and that's where a lot of animals tend to congregate
it's fucking amazing are you allowed to use a drone to hunt no in most states they're starting
to stop that but in some states yes some states it's still legal and most of the what they're
doing is they're using them to spot.
It's super controversial what you're
allowed to do and what you're not allowed to do.
With technology? Yeah, like in Nevada
where we were, you're allowed to use walkie-talkies.
So you could tell me where
a deer is and it's totally legal. But
if we were in Montana, that would be illegal.
How the fuck are they going to tell?
You don't just don't. How do you just follow rules?
If you have rules, you really should follow them.
Because the rules that are in place, it's so fucking hard if you are bow and arrow hunting
to close in on a mule deer.
It's so hard that they're like, yeah, go ahead, use a walkie talkie, bitchy, go ahead.
But Montana's like, yeah, but what if a guy has a rifle?
We have to kind of have universal rules across the bat.
And if you have a rifle in Montana, you're dealing with a much more wooded area.
You could kind of pinpoint where the animal is maybe a little bit better.
Maybe it's a little too much.
And Montana is like a real traditional state.
They don't even allow lighted arrow knocks.
You can't have a light on your arrow sight, on your bow sight.
You can't have a light.
Why the walkie-talkie law?
Because they don't want you to be able to have a bunch of friends.
Like, here's a perfect example.
Like, one state, like Arizona, is famous for allowing the use of walkie-talkies and allowing the use of electronics.
And there's certain tags that are really hard to draw.
Like, there's a unit called 13B, and it's called the Strip.
It's a strip between Utah and Arizona.
And it's so coveted and so cherished because the
animals are enormous and it's really well matched.
Like pull up Arizona strip mule deer buck.
These things look like elk.
Like some of them are like 270 inches, enormous fucking when they measure like each time.
You know what else is huge?
Columbus, Ohio.
Ohio has giant whitetails.
A lot of the Midwest does.
But my point is, this one area, because it's so difficult to get a tag there, a guy will
pull up one of these animals.
This is a deer, by the way.
What?
This isn't an elk.
These are enormous deer.
Holy shit.
Juicy ass deer.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime tag.
To be able to hunt one of these animals is literally once-in-a-lifetime.
Why is it so tough to hunt them?
Because they make sure that very few people can hunt them, so they can keep the populations very strong and high.
Because the genetics are so powerful.
So when a guy gets a tag for a deer like this, if you get a 13B tag for Arizona, you want to get a deer like this.
So these people literally will bring 20 of their friends.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
Right.
So your buddies come and help out, and they all get around on these different points,
and they glass, meaning they set up tripods, they put on binoculars and spotting scopes,
and they locate the animal, and then everyone's coordinating.
So, like, you know, you got to go 100 yards down, go down there.
He's at the bottom of the canyon, and then the other guy's at the other end.
And he's like, we got an eye on him out here.
He's not coming this way.
That's not hunting, is it?
It is, though.
It's still difficult.
Because first of all, it's impossible to get a tag.
But for these people, it's like so important that they capitalize on this one opportunity
that they're ever going to have in their life to hunt in this area.
Look at that deer.
It's very controversial.
That wouldn't be hunting.
Some people say, oh you should be able to have one guy who's communicating with you,
and some people say you shouldn't ever be able to communicate.
It's always gonna be a debate.
But with these guys, the way it's set up, you can have a bunch of people.
I can tell you that even if you have a lot of people,
I'm sure a lot of people leave that hunting ground empty-handed.
Of course. The rate of success is super low.
Dude, that's an elk.
Look at that rack.
You know they're using drones to keep the rhinos safe in Africa now.
To farm?
Yeah, to make sure the poachers, and to find poachers now.
The drones are a beast down there.
It's helping with that.
We're going to have to have some drone rules over the next few years
because they're going to get bigger and better and quicker and easier.
And smaller and more stealthy.
Yeah, they're going to get bigger and better and quicker and easier. And smaller and more stealthy. Yeah. They're going to look like bugs.
Yep.
You're going to be able to spy on your ex-girlfriend by floating one right in her house when she
opens her door.
Can't wait.
She's not even going to know.
Just kill everything.
She's not even going to know.
They might have silent solar powered Tesla made drones.
All right, kids.
That's it.
You leaving on that?
I guess so.
You just remind me I'm a Tesla.
I got to get home, but I love all three of you.
Come see me in New York, everybody.
Where are you going to be in New York, Brian Callum?
I'll be at the Gotham Comedy Club.
You're going to be there, too.
God damn.
Yes, I am.
I'm doing that in November.
I'm there September 16th and 17th, Friday, Saturday.
That's a great club.
Hey, B, where are you September 22nd, though?
Buddy, we are in Oxnard, California.
Wrong.
I know.
You are dead wrong.
No, I know.
We are in San Jose, California.
That's what I meant.
I'm glad you're paying attention.
That's what I meant.
I meant that.
San Jose.
When are we in Oxnard?
That's October.
That's right.
You were just there, right?
I sure was.
How was that new club?
Loved it.
Levity Live is what it's called, right?
Levity Live, yeah.
It was great.
Nice.
Eji Bra, September 11th, EBI.
Next Sunday. We'll be there. UFC Fight Pass. September 11th, EBI. Next Sunday.
Oh, we'll be there.
UFC Fight Pass.
September 22nd.
Get tickets.
See it live.
EBIofficial.com.
Check out the EBI 8 Countdown Show on YouTube.
Oh, shit.
Everybody.
All right.
That's it, folks.
See you soon.
Bye.
All right, kids.