The Joe Rogan Experience - JRE MMA Show #39 with Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone

Episode Date: August 30, 2018

Joe sits down with UFC fighter Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone.

Yes, sir Cheers Cheers And we're live And we're live There's so much to talk about So much to talk about It's been years

It's been a while It's been a while And one of the reasons why you're here Is because I was supposed to have Jackson I mean, we should just get right into this You think we should get into it or should we? Let the Let the Budweiser Let the Budweiser settle in.

I haven't even eaten breakfast. I physically didn't eat breakfast. I'm like, I'm going to drink beer with Joe. I already know he's getting me beer. And that way it can hit me a lot faster and I'll loosen up my lips a lot sooner. We can do whatever you want. It's up to you. You're looking thick, dude.

How much do you weigh now? Man, so I've been – so here's a crazy story. You're looking thick, dude. How much do you weigh now? Man, so I've been – so here's a crazy story. I go to the PI because Dana tells me I can't go to 55. So I go to talk to the PI. He tells you you can't go. Why?

Well, because he says I'm getting old and older. I just said he said old. I'm getting old. And he's worried. The weight cut's too hard. So I said, all right, I'm going to go to the PI. You guys have this amazing facility with – The PI stands for Performance Institute, if people don't know.

There you go. UFC Performance Institute. And they have trainers and dietician, nutrition, right? So I'm going there to meet with them to get a guideline and some kind of plan that we can attack so I can go down. Like, look, I met with your guys. They said it's okay. While I'm there, second day into all this like crazy testing you do right they have all kinds of tests that they run where you get on these bikes and i mean like fuck i was at an olympic

training center testing um uh i wanted to say joe silva walked in but then that's not right because he's not there anymore so uh Maynard? No. Sean Shelby? Shelby comes in and says, Calvary, Mike Perry really wants to fight you. You want to take this fight? And I said, well, I thought I was going to 55. And he said, yeah, he called you out and really wants to fight you. And I was like, well, fuck, okay, I'll fight him. Sure, done.

That's fine. But next one, can I go to 55? You know, like, god damn. So how this Perry thing all started um felder's opponent got hurt um i called to fight gaethje because vic got hurt so i was like i'll go to 55 fight gaethje um crazy shit just happened and then the perry fight they offered me and i called perry said hey man i know we're training together but this is 10 days notice. Let's do this. He's like, fuck yeah, man. It'd be great.

Let's do this. So that's how that started. And then I didn't get to fight. That was the end of it for me. I went to USC to go back to 155. Then all of a sudden he's calling me out. So Felder winds up fighting Perry. You were going to fight Perry

or you were at least thinking about it. Yeah, I was like in the mix. Right. But I couldn't, I didn't get cleared because I had stitches because I just fought, what? I don't know, 10 days before cleared because I had stitches. Cause I just fought, uh, what? I don't know, 10 days before. So, uh, plus I was in the hospital having my new son.

So it was kind of a weird time for everything, but it was wild, wild, wild shit. And now, now, now I'm fighting Perry November 10th in Denver. Well, what was, what was going to happen was Jackson and Winklejohn were supposed to be here today. Right. Well, you had – I mean you've been with them for how long? Man, I want to say before my WC days. So I went on – More than 10 years.

Yeah, easily. Yeah. Easily more than 10 years. Yeah, easily. Yeah. Easily more than 10 years. I don't think there's another athlete there that's been there longer besides Diego Sanchez, who's been there since the beginning. Diego left for a little while. Left for a little while, came back. So me, you know, Holly, but she was with Wink before they merged.

So like with actually Jackson, Jackson, I'm like there. I'm like the one yeah you know everyone else kind of either left the gym or is retired so what the fuck happened like how did they decide that they were going to corner mike perry who by the way i like a lot and i got nothing and i have nothing against to say perry either i don't this this this has nothing to do with with perry as a fun dude i like that guy a lot so i have no problem with him. I took him on the boat, took him shooting with me.

And when he was down there, part of the action, Frank Lester, who's helping him with his pads, a friend of mine, so he comes out shooting with me. We go out on the boat and have fun. So this has nothing to do with them. I just asked when I went to go to 55 and Perry called me out and wants to fight. Sure, no problem. But I went to talk to Greg and Wink and say, Hey, this guy's brand new to the gym, right? He's only been here one camp, couple of months.

I said, I don't think that it's okay for him to come in and call me out. Like that's not, not, not right. So if he is doing that, I don't think we should allow him to train here for this fight. Fucking Winkle John tells me, yeah, you know, I thought you called him out. And he's just a shit ass and lies like to your face. So to me, he was like, yeah, sure, no problem. I'll clear it up and we won't have any issues. And then the next day he calls me on the phone and says, you know what?

I thought about it. If we don't have Perryry then i don't get paid and i need to get paid for this fight and uh because you just pay greg i don't make any money for the gym so we're just gonna go with him and then basically tells me i'm no longer welcome in the gym and he is he said the team had a meeting bullshit the team didn't have a meeting i talked to everybody the i mean there was no meeting there's no so to me it's like the loyalty of Wink taking over this gym is just shit, man. Turned into like a puppy mill. It's all about money now and not the old Jackson.

When I used to work out – we're just getting into this, I guess, huh? All right. Start chugging. Start chugging. Shit. Back when I first moved down here and I went to Greg's, when the tap out guys picked me up and introduced me and all that. Right.

Back when you're on the tap out show. I remember that. Yeah. That, uh, reality show. Well, mask called Greg and got me. I tell you, I got involved with them. Right. I.

I. Motherfucker. I left. Leonard Garcia was fighting Roger Warton. One of my best friends. Roger. What a fight that was by the way. Damn. Right. Motherfucker. I left. Leonard Garcia was fighting Roger Wart, one of my best friends. What a fight that was, by the way. Goddamn, right? Motherfucking Mexican.

People forgot. Damn. People forgot about that fight. Dude. Go to Fight Pass. Check that one out. Yeah, right. Bring that up.

Leonard's still wild as do whatever I met. I love that guy. So do I, man. And so he calls me like, I need you to come down for a week. Come for one week. Help me get ready for Roger. He took the fight on my three weeks note something outlandish just like me and leonard do right so i go down there i literally never left when i went down first day i walked into jackson's in rashad keith saint pierre joe daddy stevenson uh i mean the list goes on and on and on and i was like wow

this is what a real gym is like this is what and they all accepted me it was like i was like in the family right i call i owned a house in denver i called my grandma said i'm never coming home i'm staying here sell the house right and i literally never went home she would just slowly come down to visit me and bring me truckloads of shit right literally i lived in a closet man fuck a third as big as this room we had a bunk bed me and leonard and uh if one person was standing up the other person had to be in the bed that's how small this room was wow and i lived there for two years above above jackson's and would train every day with him and i guess i never left and uh greg asked

me he sat me down after about i don't know a couple weeks of being there he said man i want you to be my 55er and at that time he had a there's a the list of 55ers were nuts that he had and i was like wow fuck greg jackson who at the time was the man man right that the gym was fucking 90 winning great and. And he just, he's such a knowledgeable, awesome dude, man. And to see where the gym was to where the gym is now is it's like

heartbreaking to me, to be honest. And you want to talk about loyalty, which is the biggest thing in this conversation that we're having right now is how they pick someone over me through being loyal. I stuck by Greg, even when the gym started going down. When Winkle John merged over, all the big pros left, it turned into like a puppy mill.

You know, it wasn't for, for back when Greg had it and it was its own school, you couldn't turn up to a pro class. Like, like some guy couldn't just come here and knock on your door. Like you say, you get weirdos your whole time. Next thing you know, he has shin pads on and he's sparring. There's literally at the new gym, bums come in off the street. I swear to God, and we'll come in and put stuff on a fight. That's a true story. Random bums off the street.

And that would never happen back in the day. So Greg doesn't run it anymore? No. He's like so out of the loop. Winkle John runs the entire thing. What is Greg doing? He kind of stepped back for a couple years man like kind of started doing other things and just kind of got burned out I guess which is why I created the BMF ranch I needed somewhere to go and something to do so I created my post which is Wink's argument with me right now saying you be be at your old place. You don't ever come here, blah, blah, blah. I said, well, I don't ever come here because the people you let in here

is outlandish. Like anybody, you pay $150, you can get on the masses and spar with Holly Holmes. You know what I mean? That's what it's come to down there. And back in the day, it was like private and just us and good pros, everyone there for the same mission trying to get better, you know? I've talked to some other people that I don't want to name sure they've said that when they go down

there new guys will come in and it's literally a fight it is a fight it's there's no there's no there's no a b c class anymore it's literally these guys come in they want to make a name on you but sometimes when you're towards the end of a fight camp you don't need those new guys you don't need that crazy sparring. Right. Right? You need the guys you trust. Right. Not some random guy I don't know. Right.

So it's just – it's asinine to me, man, what they turn that place into. It's crazy that that still happens in MMA because you're never going to find that in boxing. In boxing, all sparring is controlled. Controlled. You bring in the sparring partners. You know who you're working with. So, I mean, we talk loyalty again. To me, with Greg, his name is on that building.

It's Wink, Jackson Wink, right? Jackson fucking Wink. Your name's first, even. When it came time to pick the decision and they said, we want to go with Perry, why the fuck didn't you stand? Because Greg's still with me. He's like, yeah, I'll just come to the ranch and we'll sort this out and i'm like what the fuck are you talking about right you tell me i can't come into the jackson wink gym but you're gonna back door and come to my fucking house and we're gonna train to fight me while perry is there at

the gym you see everything he does and then you're gonna come and you're gonna train me not to mention you're holding classes there and he's watching i mean you might not be training him to beat me but there's a lot of people there that have trained me for fucking years so to me that was the the point i was saying like man can we just not have him there for this camp i mean there's a lot of secrets that i that like inner secrets that i have like you know i'm i'm fucking scared to death to fight like that's that's the thing he can that they can tell him like or they tell him you know i'm i'm fucking scared to death to fight like that's that's the thing he can that they can tell him like or they tell him you know go get cowboy mad you know that's he doesn't fight well when he's pissed off so fucking piss him off poke at him poke the bear piss him off get him out of his element give him you know the shit like this right so and there's a lot of other things

small dumb things that i do and tendencies that they've seen over over the year or 10 yeah right yeah um to, that's... It's very intimate. The relationship between a coach and a fighter is very intense. So for someone to violate that in that way, and, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with guys from a camp deciding to fight each other,

and you got to work that out. But for them to tell you that you can't... If it was Carlos Condit, I agree with you. Right. We'll figure it out. All right, Carlos, you go that way. Right it was Carlos Condit, I agree with you. Right. We'll figure it out. All right, Carlos, you go that way. These are your times, your hours. Respect each other, friends, training partners.

The new guy who just came in, like I said, nothing against Perry. He's looking for a – he wants a home. He felt like Jackson's his big – He's great. I like that guy a lot. Nothing's on him. I mean, what is he going to do? Right.

And I just said hey frank was gonna go and train with him wherever i heard stories he was looking to go to vegas anyway i don't have any idea man i was just i was just like man can we just not do it for this fight and then winkle john called me on the phone didn't he have the fucking balls or the backbone to say it to my fucking face and i was right there with them called me on the phone like oh uh yeah we're actually gonna uh go with perry you know he pays money that's again it comes back to the money i'm like so perry pays him a percentage and you don't i only pay greg i've for my entire career i've ever been there because i don't like winkle john style i don't like his way he holds meds i don't like the way he trains people. What's different about what he does?

It's the same thing for you, for me, for John, Sam. It's the cookie cutter. Everything's exactly the same. And it never changes. I don't understand how you could be a coach of one of the greatest, at one time, the greatest gyms on the planet, you know? And then don't ever evolve, don't't ever change and don't run class and it to me it's he just drove that place into the ground man turn literally turned it into a puppy mill it's only about making money and for you guys don't know i'm talking

about a puppy mill when someone has a dog and they just fucking breed it and sell puppies and breed it and sell puppies that's that's what's happening that's the the infrastructure of this gym now let's talk about training there let's talk about coaching right greg's supposed to be the the the general right i'm just a soldier how come i have to be now a general and a soldier that's the that's what's fucking up in my in my career i can't i need someone to tell me what to do tell me what not to do and i had to start my own school at the ranch bringing my my own coaches. But then now I'm making all the executive decisions when we're training, what we're training, what we're doing.

And I'm not, I'm no longer just a soldier. I'm having to fucking run this whole thing. That's a problem for fighters. It's a problem for me too. I like to, I'm a fucking super alpha male, and I like to communicate with my coaches and get everything done. And the guys I have are fucking standing by me,

and I love them to death. But I need someone to be like you know what you crazy fucking bastard you're going too hard you're going too hard taper off let's taper off let's pump the break or let's pick it up right right the the fucking fun fuck off part of your life is taking over into your training can we step it up a little bit right i need that i need i need fucking direction i need today we're working on this. Not just me going in there saying, ah, let's fucking wrestle today. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right, right, right, right.

Yeah. So. You know what to do, but it's also nice for someone else who knows what to do who's completely objective to stand on the outside. Because there's been, I'm in this so long. I could literally, Joe, never spar from now till the Perry fight and probably not even do one jiu-jitsu roll. And I would be okay to fight mentally. But that's probably not a very smart idea, right?

It's not you at your optimum. Exactly. So it's just fucking asinine to me. And the coaches down there. So not only can somebody just ring the doorbell and show up and train, pay the money. You can pay the $25 to drop in or you pay you pay the 150 a month come to any class you want but if you're a coach you can just coach the class it's that it's that asinine to you i see a new striking coach a new wrestling coach or a new jujitsu guy in there twice a week probably

and they're coaching the class the our rest wrestling coach of Jackson Wink, the greatest school in the fucking world, is a reception to a chiropractic upstairs. He's greatest credentials, whereas he was a junior assistant coach at a college, don't know the college name, who got fired for selling the kids steroids. That's our wrestling coach at one of the greatest schools in the world.

Is he a good coach? No, he's terrible. he's fucking god-awful terrible he watches videos on youtube and tries to teach people things that don't even fucking work it's it's asinine which is another move i had to hire my own coach and bring him in you know it's like it's like whoa wait what and now they don't even drill they just go live and they want to know why people get hurt every day it's like you can't just go in and say, okay, and we're wrestling. Go.

So do you think that people just get burnt out on doing things the right way? And they just, they just figure, look, I'm just going to do this the way that makes the most money. Well, I think, and I wish I had,

I had the answer for that. I do because I'm not in that position to, I'm not running a gym and that's, I've never done that because I don't want me showing up to class every single day would wear me the fuck out. Yeah. It wears everybody out. It's got to. Yeah.

But you should have an infrastructure set in place that takes – especially if you're the greatest at one time, right? If your winning percentages are in the 80s and 90s and now they're in the 20s, like I don't – I have no clue what our rating record of the gym is but it's it's it's nothing like it used to be right yeah and it's fucking it's asinine to me so the way you were doing is that you have the bmf ranch you have everything set up you bring in all your sparring partners and you would be doing all your training out there and how would greg interact we'd either show up down at jackson's and spar because they still have got there's still bodies down there right there's still guys we'd show up down this bar we'd bring all the guys out or greg would come up you know three or four times a week to the ranch and we how far is your ranch from 50 miles about okay yeah a good hour solid hour drive into the vast

nolans of new mexico do you like living out there i do i love it I fucking love it. So I sold my house. I moved here. I fucking planted roots. Now I could never, ever sell my place. I'm stuck in New Mexico. I'm moving back to Colorado. Why could you never sell it? Because I have to sell it to like a crazy cult leader. So if anybody out there listening wants to operate a cult.

Are you talking to one right now? I have the perfect house. Talk to me about what kind of acreage you're talking about. I've got 40 acres, 40 acres, plenty of rooms, buildings. What kind of animals are in your vicinity? Yeah. This might be where we start. There's about an hour drive.

You can run into some elk. We got antelope everywhere, which is the crazy thing about antelope. You know they don't jump fences. Yeah, they won't jump fences. It's crazy, right? You can just literally corner them into a – They occasionally jump a fence. They've been known to jump a fence occasionally.

It's very, very rare. You know they evolved before the Ice Age. They evolved to get away from cheetahs. How are you so smart? That's what I want to know. I'm not smart. I just remember things. Dude, it's fucking insane.

There was a mass extinction of giant land mammals somewhere around 12,000 years ago in North America. And before then, there was cheetahs. There was actual North American cheetahs. Right. There was a North American lion that's bigger than the African lion. How about that shit? Giant-ass fucking lion. And that's where these fucking things evolved.

Did you want another chew? Yeah, I want to try that shit. I swallowed it last time. That's the only – whenever I meet people for autographs, they're like, I can't believe you got Rogan to fucking take a chew. Not just take it. I swallowed it. I didn't know what I was doing.

Like a man. Yeah. All right, round two. Here we go. Round two. What kind is this? So good. It's wintergreen copenhagen under your chin right under your lip you can put it under your chin if you want you take just a little one too late too late take a giant one take a big old upper liver so there's that um there's turkeys out there duck i love turkey i'm a bird hunting

fanatic man i love oh man i love birds how many acres you got 40 acres oh wow that's nice 40 acres and mule remember um but birds i i'm like a bird junkie how'd you find that spot um but birds i i'm like a bird junkie how'd you find that spot um so when i moved out there and after i was in um the gym for like a year and a half with leonard i was like bro you're like winning a bunch of ufc fights now i'm in the wc uh we're starting to get a little bit of money let's get a house together right right? Let's find a house. So I started looking kind of in the remote areas around where I knew I could commute in, but I wanted somewhere I could ride my dirt bike, shoot guns, just be cowboy. And we found that place and I called my grandpa and I said, Hey, I think I found a house. And he said, I'll be right there. And he,

him, my grandma drove and he walked up to the lady and he handed her an envelope full of cash and said we'll take it just like that wow yeah it was probably 60 or 70 000 less than they were asking but he had real cash real cash and said we'll take it my grandson wants it and um we'll take it wow and i was like oh i was just showing like okay uh thanks grandma right like he just bought me a house and um he like believed in me no matter what i did i used to be on a magician i used to like love magic right so he'd always buy me magic shit and sit there and watch me do it and he's such a fucking cool dude man he used to do magic did you ever do shows no no i mean i was like 12 13 i would do shows to my grandma grandpa and my friends and i still have like a toolbox full of magic stuff i should

bust it out and bring it out every one time a while. And there's some cool, cool little things. Are you good at it? Not like good. Like you wouldn't be like, whoa. But there's some, some of the sleight of hand stuff is pretty fun. And like the coin, coin magic is good.

How do you keep the shit from going in your mouth? You just, because it doesn't, for me, it doesn't see want to stay put. Well,

you keep drinking on top of it. You got to like bury it with your tongue and then drink over it. Hmm. Trying. I fucking love it so yeah um greatest dude man taught me a lot taught me a lot about loyalty and respect man and i called my grandma on my way here today and i said i'm gonna fucking set fire to this bridge to jackson's and she wrote me back

and said well you need to like are you attacking them logically or are you out of anger which which direction are we going here powerful grandma right on the ball which direction are we going and uh she said start spitting soon huh yeah you definitely gotta spit she said make sure you know always in life don't ever paint yourself into a corner like these are major lessons you don't burn bridges you can't cross but she told me today fucking and let it go let them have it they they they want to step across the line they do the line in the sand let them want to burn their own make them feel so bad they want to burn their own fucking gym to the ground you know it's like to me having the moment for greg to say you know what wink my name's on this fucking gym cowboy's been with me from the start there's been times

two or three camps ago where i've trained greg maybe one or two times i still write him a check i still write him a check and i pay him because he got me into this motherfucker and loyalty to me is the the top top of the line thing right it's top of the line to me too that's why you're here right and that's why they're not and you know and it's unfortunate because i like Greg a lot. And I respect him. I don't know much about Winklejohn other than his work. Right.

What he's done with Holly and a lot of other people. And I was real torn up about this. That's why I contacted you. Sure, sure. You know, when you told me that they were going to. This is like a crazy scenario all around for everybody across the board. Like, wait, what do you, like, what? What the fuck do you mean? What's happening here?

Yeah. You know? And it's, it's, it's crazy. It's wild. I appreciate you sticking by my side. Well, it was, it was a situation where I didn't know what to do. Yeah. You know, I was like, I can't just ignore it.

I would have to bring it up when they were here and then I wouldn't get a full representation of it. Sure. I mean, do you feel like you're getting a full representation There you go I love it I think I'll figure out how to do this right It's a skill you'll learn how to tuck it in your It's all over the place it's in my mouth

Mine's just in a little ball right here I don't know Mine is not Mine is not controlled I'm going to wind up swallowing this again. So if your name's on the thing, like, right? There you go. Put it, spit it out. I just don't have any control.

Now you got to open another beer and wrench it. You got to give it a wrench. A wrench? Yeah. Oh, rinse. I thought you said wrench it. Yeah, open the beer, rinse it out, spit it out. That way you don't get it any more swallowed.

That way you're not sick again. I wasn't sick last time. I was fine. Good. It was weird. I swallowed the whole thing. Fuck yeah. I missed you, man.

I missed you. It's been a while. So much has happened. I'm glad we got that kind of out of the way. I'm sure I'll circle back when I drink a little bit more. Yeah, I'm sure, too. It's unfortunate. And I know what it must be like to try to keep the lights on in a big gym.

And now they have dorms. It's a huge, giant-ass place. Huge overhead, I'm sure. All these people coming in, coming out. And then you know how fighters are. Not you, but some fighters. They don't give a fuck about loyalty. They just care about themselves.

They're on their path. It's a very solitary, singular sport. And selfish. A very selfish sport. You kind of have to be, right? Yeah. And I think that's kind of where the team got. Cowboy's really selfish.

He has his own gym now. Well, I had to. I fucking had to, man, for the better of my family and me. I had to keep evolving. I couldn't spiral down this drain with you guys. Right. Now Michelle Watterson just built a new gym. She's doing the same thing in her backyard. Love her death you know doing that too doing it too her and her

husband built a badass little gym all on it all sponsored by on it fucking really yes bitching man it's cool yeah good for her good yeah michelle whoop whoop um you know but if you look at the track record since wink is taking over the gym everyone's left i mean it's like you don't see a pattern here, Wink. Like maybe you should change something up or just not allow it. Well, he's been fighting for a long time. Sure. And then training for a long time. I mean, he was a badass kickboxer before he ever got into training.

And, you know, I think one of the things that happens with people, they just get this whole selfishness of the sport. It wears people down to a certain extent. There's camaraderie, but there's also selfishness. And they're all constantly going against each other. Sure. And, you know, having a gym like that, the expenses, the overhead, and then, you know, dealing with people that are just grabbing, grabbing, grabbing. It's got to get overwhelming.

And you see a guy like Mike Perry who, you know, is a potential big star. He's a colorful kid. He's a knockout artist. He fucking loves to fight. If I was a coach, I'd be like, this is the kind of guy I want in my gym. He's a fucking animal. You know, it's a, it's a great asset. I'm super excited to fight him because this is the one of those fights where we're going

to go into the middle of the ring and we're going to fucking fight. The old school fucking let's fight. So fucking I'm pumped on it. I love the kid. You know, he's cool. He's crazy. Him and I would get along just great. We do.

So I got nothing, like I said, nothing but him or Frank. Frank is coach who, well, that's, Perry's working with Frank, another striking coach who Frank Lester who is holding the infrastructure of the gym together almost single handedly you know there's a couple

wrestling guys and is Brandon Gibson still there? Yeah Brandon's still there. Brandon had a full time job just got promoted again in his government job he has like a real government job. Is it a top of being a super job yeah how the fuck does he do that man i have no idea he has like a nine to nine to six job maybe maybe seven to six job really he's every morning up early take care of his family he's a great dude i got nothing bad nothing but love for brandon gibson man nothing him and i just operate only because i need to i just want a different angle of

striking it wasn't it would mean it had nothing to do with he's a bad coach i lost my fight i'm firing you it's just fucking just trying something new just just trying something new that's all uh but yes gibson's other gibson kind of just works with John Dotson, with Condit. I mean, he doesn't have the time to go in there and just hold that gym together. Right. So he actually has a real job. And he just got another promotion. So he's like the top of the – he started off as a lifeguard,

worked his way all the way up to the city. Now he's damn near governor. I think that's next. Governor is next for Gibson. It's not hard. I had Gary Johnson in here. I think I could be governor is next it's not hard i had gary johnson in here i think i could be governor of mexico no no offense gary well let's legalize pot and uh mushrooms is it not legal there it's it's recreational i mean it's um medical yeah yeah is it one of those places

this is a lot of places we gotta have aids like that that's how it used to be a lot of places but like vegas used to be like that now vegas is lucy goose open wide vegas got full-on dispensaries man fucking vegas man vegas is definitely a two-night town man yeah it's rough on the liver it's rough on everything just it just takes you it takes you the fuck in man yeah i was just there last night i was out there for a big monster conference and it's just like you the fuck in, man. I was just there last night. I was out there for a big Monster conference, and it's just like you sit in your room. You're like, well, I could just go down and gamble, I guess. And then you start gambling. Have you ever played Baccarat?

I don't play shit. I have never either, and I decided we tried Baccarat, like 007. I was like, we'll be like 007. We'll go in there. I played with one of the higher-ups in and he took us down and we played this game. And fuck, we won a shitload of money. A shitload of money. There was like five of us.

Yeah. Want some of this? Yeah, I'll take some of that. I don't really smoke much pot, but I'll do it just because I'm with you. Take care of that. That stuff was, they grew that on the moon. I saw a video of him breakdancing the other night. You breakdance?

I do. I used to. I used to really breakdance. So I'm at the Monster Conference. Did we lose a video of him breakdancing the other night. You breakdance? I do. I used to. I used to really breakdance. So I'm at the Monster Conference. Did we lose a glass to him? I'm at the Monster Conference, and Monster now has a breakdancing team. What? Yes.

Monster got me some badass bags, man. Shout out to Hans. Hans is a good dude, man. He's a great dude. Yeah, he takes care of a lot of people. Again, the infrastructure of Monster, great, right? Yeah. Great infrastructure of Monster. Yeah. So the Ambassador Hans takes care of it, takes care of a lot of people. Again, the infrastructure of Monster, great, right? Yeah. Great infrastructure of Monster.

Yeah. So the Ambassador Hans takes care of it, takes care of people. Loyalty, family, super family. Exactly, right? So I've seen the Monster. I was going to tell you, I've seen the Monster bags laying back there. Fucking pfft. I just got them.

Gaston Bolanos, it was his idea. A little bit more of that, you're going to get crazy. Okay. We'll start talking about space soon. Doing drugs with Joe. It's not drugs. It's nature. You're right.

We're doing nature, bro. All right. I'm with you. So the breakdancers, they start breakdancing. And then halfway through their show, they stop it. Look at this. Oh, yeah. So they set up a battle between me and this other guy.

Right? We just have to go out here and we have to break dance. I used to break dance back in years ago, but on a slippery floor with cowboy boots and I didn't have properly stretched. Yeah. That's not good. Oh, so fun, man.

I, uh, cowboy boots, yeah. Cowboy boots, monster shirt, getting down, doing a little break dancing. It was so fun, man. Look at you. Dude, we have a bunch of guys from 10th Planet that started out as break dancing. Gio Martinez, Richard Martinez.

You just core strength everything about it. Yeah, man. You can do a one-handed push-up with your – a one-handed handstand with your feet up in the air and you twist them around. That's crazy control of your body. It was – It's like yoga on steroids. It's, it's so hard.

It's so hard. It's even harder to do after 12 years of never even doing it again. And then like, and go with cowboy boots on. Oh, here we go. We had a bunch of these guys come in and, uh,

Eddie called me up. He goes, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, Eddie gets crazy. He goes, listen, man, break dancing, break dancingdancing, breakdancing is the thing. It's the thing. These guys are so fucking strong.

I can't even control them. Breakdancers, man. These guys are like 140 pounds and they're like, it's like holding onto a live wire. Yeah. Yeah. They're so strong. Yeah. What is that guy's name?

B-Boy Pocket Kim. Is that what his name is? What is his name? i put him on my instagram way back in the day this is korean kid that is it doesn't even seem like a human can do what he does that's how i felt yesterday when those guys were dancing i was like he spins all on one hand he's on one hand hop it up and down in the air and spin it around and you're like pocket kim yeah watch this motherfucker This guy is such a beast. It's crazy to watch.

There's a bunch of these guys now. They're caught. There's a stance elements. Yeah. Look at this motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. I mean, what the fuck is he doing? It's called air tracks.

That is crazy. Air tracks. He's laying right there. But that is crazy. Yeah. It's like flaring in the air. That is damn near impossible to do. That guy is a freak.

He's the freak of all freaks. It's crazy what he can do. And there's a few of those guys. If you go to that stance elements, click on that stance elements, Jamie. These guys are – I didn't know about this until Tim Ferriss put it on his Instagram. He put Pocket Kim on and then I went and watched these guys. These guys are doing just insane physical acrobatics along with music. But I feel like the kids now are doing insane everything.

Yeah. Snowboarding, dirt biking. Jiu-jitsu. Everything. Everything is on a whole other playing field, right? Yeah. And MMA fighters. These young guys that are coming in.

Are not just solely one discipline, right? They have everything. They're MMA fighters. You're seeing these new guys. Like Zabit is one of my favorite guys to watch. Zabit Magomed Sharapov. Say that five times fast. It's like these new high-level guys are coming in.

And you're looking at him like, oh, okay, we just hit the new evolution. There's a new evolution going on with these young guys coming up. It's fascinating. But that's to be expected, right, with everything, I guess. Especially with social media, you get to see these guys like on Instagram. You get to see the moves that that guy's doing and all these other break dancers get to see it. They would have to see it live.

Now they're seeing it in Korea. They're seeing it in japan they don't have to travel and they're seeing these moves and you slow down re-watch it and learn and learn and learn right crazy time crazy and not only not only do we get to watch but we also get the shit-ass guy in his basement that gets to talk shit about that yeah there's a little bit of that a lot there's a lot of it you can't pay attention to that cowboy it burns my soul yeah but you're too good to pay attention i hate i wish i was too good to say that but i i get it's just like if i was coming here and someone out in the parking lot said something to me i said what the fuck what the fuck you talking to like that you know like we'd have right it'd be a moment there yeah oh yeah yeah so for sure that's how i still feel

today but um well that's why you're cowboy yeah Yeah. That's why you're who you are. You know, it'll help you a little bit. Yes. A little bit of new mood, new mood, the super new mood, super new mood,

super new mood. Get you some of the real new mood. That's it. That's a gift from me to you. I'm glad you enjoyed that. Yeah. Yeah, man.

Um, your, your buddy, Paul, Paul Stamets, Paul Stamets in light. Fuck. Okay.

Let's, let's back this up. Let's back it all up. Let's take, let's take this train back. Yeah. Yeah. in light. Fuck. Okay. Let's back this up. Let's back it all up. Let's take this train back. Beep. Yeah, just a little bit. Beep. Okay. Beep.

So you speaking about DMT. Okay. Let's back it up one more. One more. Beep. I've never done any drugs in my entire life ever. I did a lot of drugs here already. I did nicotine.

I did alcohol. We're backed up. Remember, we're backed up. That's good. I've never done any drug ever. Never, ever. What year was this? Two years ago. Oh, you're backed up. I've never done any drug ever. Never, ever. What year was this? Two years ago.

Oh, you did booze. That's legal. Oh, legal. Legal drug. Oh, it's almost a law. You're a product of drugs. I am a product of drugs, Jerry. This is not a bad drug.

Budweiser's a fantastic drug. It's made for great jokes, fun times, right? How many fucking good times have people had because of Budweiser? God bless you, Budweiser. Salute. It's a good drug. Well-regulated. You know what one bottle does?

That's what I like. Makes you want two. You know what one bottle does? Makes you want two. Right, but that's on you, man. One bottle. You gotta have some goddamn self-control. One bottle. You know what a goddamn self-control. One bottle.

You know what a bottle of Budweiser does. It's really clear. True. It's like you eat a fucking pot brownie. It could be anything. You know? You could be... Who knows the fuck you're getting?

They got that limit in Utah. Everything is 3.2%. Poor people in Utah. You know they're rebranding? Did you know the Mormons are rebranding? I found out this last night. They don't call Mormons anymore. Eric Griffin was telling me calling a Mormon a Mormon is like calling a small person a midget.

Yep. What do you call them? Latter-day Saints. Oh, wow. Shout out to the Latter-day Saints. Magic underwear. Magic underwear. God damn it.

So, no drugs. Okay? No drugs. You hear you talking about DMT. Everyone's on this dmt ride just sponsored by this little company called on it which is now fucking huge company which i love by the way the gut health all yeah probiotics man that's my everything my favorite yeah do you eat kimchi or anything like that you ever eat no you should you should get it get involved get involved with

some probiotics. Kefir is really good. Chemtree is really good. Now your people are going to be like, oh, you're talking about your diet again. Oh, man, it's good, dude. It's good. People need to know. You got to take care of your internal. You don't see that gut health, man, but it affects your depression, your mood, the way

your brain works, where your immune system functions. Gut health is everything. Those little on it packets are key, man. I don't travel without those bitches. I don't go a day without them. I ate all my- They got new packets for them now. They're not in the same old box, more high tech, cool street looking box now.

Well, they exist on the substrate that's in those capsules. That's one of the ways you don't have to refrigerate it. It's so good for travel. Right. Because it's just, I think you should have a variety of probiotics, but I think it's one of the most critical things that people don't think about. Anyway. So drugs.

Drugs. Drugs. Aubrey said, hey, why don't you come out? We got a little group of people doing some DMT. Did he do the whole ceremony? Music, chants, everything. The Icaros? The whole thing.

We smoked tobacco out by the fire. I'm going to do. I'm going to play some of that Ecorose. Talk about what direction we wanted this to go. What we wanted the journey to consist of. I call my best friends up, take them with me, and we go out there and we fucking do this. We sit in this room. We go through the chants and the ceremony.

And I'm scared to death because I've never done anything. You should be scared. Scared. Never done anything. I wish. That's it. Waking up the spirits. You just have that.

That's your, it's on your. Oh, dude, this can make me trip if i listen to this if i eat a pot brownie listen to this and get in the tank i'll start tripping all right because when you do dmt and you're and you hear this they dance for you right the whole the the experience you realize what this is this is like a technology to maximize dmt and while while you're on this dmt this is playing in the background on a drum and chants and yeah that's that's what's going on i wasn't in a super spooky night camera room like this but it was you know, Aubrey has a nice... He knows what the fuck he's doing.

He knows what the fuck he's doing. The real way. You feel really spiritual in the room. He might be a beautiful man with a beautiful body and looks like he's running a sex cult, but what he really is doing is doing it the right way. You say it looks like legitimately

doing it the right way. You say it looks like it legitimately doing it the right way. I could maybe sell the ranch to Aubrey and the sex cult. Listen, Aubrey and I are partners. We'll talk after this podcast is over. I just need to know what kind of zoning you have and whether or not you have water on the property. There we go. I do have water. You got a well?

I have a well. Two wells, actually. So what happened all right so this music's playing they load the pipe which to me looked like pink cocaine right like dust pink dust and they load it in this pipe and he says just light it and you want to breathe fresh air out of the corner of your mouth like as you're taking this harsh smoking it smells like burning plastic it's it's harsh and he says just hit it do you can't anymore i'm like what the fuck does the corner of your mouth like as you're taking this harsh smoking it smells like burning plastic it's it's harsh and he says just hit it do you can't anymore i'm like what the fuck does that mean i feel like i'm gonna hit this forever so i hit it and i hit it and then all of a sudden i

say oh you hit it until you can't anymore and he starts getting wavy and then i just the pipe falls out of my mouth and i fall back the entire world comes like zooming into me like it's like pitch black and i shoot through this fucking kaleidoscope of colors maybe 10 seconds and blow out the top like superman out of the top of this tube of colors into pitch total black darkness and i'm looking at myself from like the third person. And I'm just hovering in midair. And everywhere that I've ever been injured or hurt is glowing blight,

like super white, like the whitest white fire I've ever seen. Like my head's on fire. My arms and fists are... I feel like something out of a fucking movie. I'm just suspended in air. Burning. And I keep like asking myself questions

and then, and then I don't know if it's me, but I answer back to myself, right? I'm bugging the fuck out because you can still hear this music going. I can hear the people giggling next to me. I can hear the next guy lighting the lighter and he's now going. And meanwhile, I'm just burning and I'm talking to myself about whatever question I answered. Right. And then all of a sudden, just as fast as I came in, I kind of eyes woke and I woke up and I still see the rest of the guys room. Cause they like systematically go around the room in an order there and there and there. And she hits now the pipe of the guys in the room because they systematically go around the room in an order. They're in, they're in, they're in. She hits.

Now the pipe comes around again. And now it's my turn again. Now I'm really excited. I almost wish halfway through the trip you could fucking hit it again and go back in. So I hit it. And this time I'm thinking, yeah, I want to go back to that again. I want to go back to where I just was. So I fucking hit the pipe, hit the pipe, hit the pipe. Now I hit the pipe so goddamn hard and I hold my breath. I fall over to the side.

I fall to my left side and I'm tipped over. Well, I sit back up because you're still there, right? You're not like in another dimension. You're not out of your body experience. So I sit back up, but the entire trip now is sideways. I'm looking at this trip. I'm looking at crazy black rainbows. And I can't explain what a fucking black rainbow looks like, but they're waving with sparkles and black into a keyhole that's turned sideways. And through the keyhole are crazy light shapes and darts. And every time I almost get to this keyhole it just sucks

back more something I gotta move like and then I crawl to it again I try to get to the keyhole and it sucks back again and there was no word spoken this one it was me just trying to get to this sideways keyhole

and I just get my hand to crawl through it and it would fucking take off again and i woke up and that was that was my dmt experience you've only done it once only done it one time i want to do it again yeah you need to do yeah so they talk about marijuana okay done they talk about marijuana being a gateway drug. No, DMT is a gateway drug for me. What's a gateway drug to? It allows you to do other drugs. And now I do a lot of mushrooms.

Well, it's one of those things where it lets you know that all your ideas about what drugs are are out the window. Right. All your ideas about what reality is are out the window because you didn't think that this was a part of reality how could anybody ever think it before you experience it what i don't get is things that shapes and colors that i couldn't almost like you don't see today where i could see him there and i could have, like the shapes and the movements. It was just so weird. Like you're right. Like reality is like, what the fuck? How is that reality?

And it seems more vivid than reality. More vivid. But the cool thing I want to tell people listening, like you can just open your eyes, right? I mean, you would be real hazy and kind of gone, but I could open my eyes. I could see the candles burning over there. I could hear lighters going. And then you're like, oh, I'm okay i'm not in another dimension i'm not gonna get stuck in this crazy other world and then i'd close my eyes and i'd go back into it and

yeah you're i mean it's like the most the realest dream you've ever seen right yeah there's another one called five meo dmt fivehoxy-dmt and it's uh is that the one we're doing tonight that's a different one that one makes people really scared that's a different one because you just you cease to exist on that one right it's more powerful actually more more potent yeah which is crazy to think there's something more potent than dmt but it's more psychoactive in some ways. And it's one of those weird ones that doesn't have visuals either. But you just go to everything.

You go to heaven. You become a part of it all. It was just crazy how clear and sense you could make of the unsenses, right? Like I try to explain now and it sounds weird. But when I was in it, it's like everything's so clear. Yeah. But you realize how much of what's holding you back in this life is like insecurity and fear and just not knowing, you know, and confusion and all this. And then it just sort of like pours water on the stuff that's dirty and cleans all the bullshit out and goes, no, it's all love.

It's all happiness, friends, experiences, life, camaraderie. Those are the important things. That's that you have a chance in this life to spread more of that and help other people spread more of that and keep this ball rolling. And that could really change the world. It changes the world because the people that you impact ripple out and they interact they interact with other people or you could just get caught up in arguing with people online. You know, you can get caught up in the water over the dirt and just the chaos of it all.

It doesn't take much to get me caught up. So they, but that's also why you're a great fighter. You know, those things go hand in hand. If you were a person just accepted bullshit, maybe you wouldn't be the guy that gets up in the morning when you don't want to.

Maybe you wouldn't be the guy that takes those fights on short notice and goes, fuck it. Maybe you'd be the guy that would be like, you know what? This is not the right move for my career. I have to sit back. You're a wild man, and that's why people love you. But that's also – that needs to be kind of – it needs to be appreciated but also managed. Like the chaos of your personality and how you approach things i mean you almost fucking died in a cave yeah bro i mean this is what you do that's my other drug

adrenaline yeah yeah you got adrenaline man yeah and uh the things that people are scared of you flock to it's like you want to prove that you're not scared of them and i am i'm just as scared as you are sure like skydiving i love it because it's like oh yeah and we go yeah there's no there's no ifs ands or buts when you jump out of a fucking plane i'm flying planes now get my pilot's license really yeah i'm putting i've i started a little while back i quit for a while but now i'm back i'm all in I'm flying And I'm loving it man I was just telling you

I watched that Leonard Skinner documentary Last night Don't fly a shitty plane That's how we lost Leonard Skinner Yeah They needed to get

Their fucking plane fixed Drugs Drugs Fucking drugs Fucking pill heads man The next time I'm on In two years When I come back

I'll fly out Yes I'll fly out here Yeah man so so wild man that's a that's a bold move man learn how to fly i mean that's the ultimate right that's that's that's a giant drink a beer with you buddy this is a little campfire we fucking said slicing deer exactly we should we should definitely do that one of these days you should come to us to lanai with us. Okay. You would love it, man. It's the craziest hunting ever. And it's like one of the most ethical.

You have to kill them. There's 30,000 deer on this one island. No, 20,000 deer and 3,000 people. Let's touch that little subject for a minute. About we now have to kill these animals. Why? Because there's so many people out there that are like, fuck you, hunters. What are you doing? Why? Why would you want to take a life yeah well lanai is a different example

because it's an island it's an island filled with deer and there's no wolves and there's no mountain lions like people have to eat them they're fucking everywhere yeah because if they don't they're just gonna they're overpopulated they're gonna die yeah of course yeah but i mean i think the the hunting thing the anti-hunting thing is probably real similar to what we're talking about with psychedelic drugs. It's people who haven't experienced it. They don't know what it really is. And a lot of them still, I mean, 97% of the people in this country eat meat.

I'm one of them. Yeah. I love it. But it's a crazy number when you think about how many people get hated on for hunting. That means for sure some of those people that are hating also eat meat, which is one of the most crazy hypocrisies ever. Crazy, right? I mean, when you look at it like that with the numbers. Yeah.

Because they are. As they're eating their hamburger on the same breath, they're telling you what a piece of shit you are for killing ducks. Yeah. Yeah. It's a disconnection do you think vegans um if a mosquito lands on them do they do they slap it and kill it about that all the time and do they kill mice that are nibbling in the corner of their house and making noise so they can't sleep do they set a mouse trap out that's a good question or do they shoot do they shoot the fly with the badass new salt fucking shotgun? The salt guns and the shit.

Me, I'm picking the bitches up. I open the door and let them. Woof them in from the horse shit. Come on in, boy. They got a little bit of blap and do it here. Blap. So, yeah. I mean, does a mosquito or a fly not have a soul?

I went to an ashram once, and the lady had ant spray out. And I was like, what are you doing with that? She's like, oh, we have an ant problem here. I go, you got an ant problem here? I go, so you kill them with the spray? I go, that's fucking crazy. This is an ashram. Right?

This is a Buddhist ashram, and you are spraying ant spray. You're poisoning death from the sky. From the sky. Yeah, like you're fucking air warfare On these poor little beings Cause you don't like That they get too close To your garbage Hey

It's heavy It's heavy It's crazy When you put it in perspective Like that They don't have an answer Like you do when you wash yourself What about all those

Microbiome on your body Killing all that shit With soap With soap What are you doing? What are you doing? It's a holocaust Every time you wash your asshole It's a holocaust you're killing all this life forms right right

it's no no ifs ands or buts every i mean it's just a matter of what and the other problem is there's real evidence that somehow or another plants communicate with each other that they have some sort of if not awareness they have some sort of uh information exchange between each other and they change their taste based on whether or not other ones are getting eaten it activates certain responses in the plants and they they become like really bitter and disgusting to animals so that animals don't eat them right you know and they do this with like they can have a recording they can play a recording of caterpillars eating leaves next to a plant and it will change its flavor profile.

It excretes some sort of a chemical. It's insane. So it discourages predation. There's some intelligence to those things. I think that's just evolving, right? It's having to. It's like, ooh, ooh, we're no longer going to exist if this happens. We have to evolve with the change.

What you talk about us becoming who we are today yeah from super primates to to right and i think now we're caught in an era where the weak are still allowed to coexist with us yeah there's a little bit of that they don't want to be fucking great they don't want to be right but but yeah you laugh at that, but it's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true. And I just had a baby boy, and I can't wait to stand on the sidelines of these soccer games and football games. And I can't wait to show up to fucking track day, and I'm bringing fucking medals and trophies because my kid's not getting a fucking participation ribbon he's here to win right when do we draw the line back of of you know just just because

you are weaker you you get a participation ribbon there's no more competition and there's no understanding of psychology you can't protect people from bad feelings like losing those that's what propels you that's what makes you better. That's what they're doing. So you're telling me if my kid is an awesome, awesome football player and he's on the team running touchdowns, he has to sit the bench because Tommy didn't get enough time to play? And not only that, Tommy, you're his weak-ass dad who fucking secret emails the coach behind my back? You know what I mean? Like that shit to me what the fuck

so i i can't i'm so excited to to join this new new journey of parenthood parenthood it's so crazy man these kids and it's not all parents though you know some parents realize how stupid it is there's parents out there just like you sure just like this is ridiculous like kids have got this is a guy that's uh his his daughter goes school with uh my daughter and uh i always gravitate towards him because he's got a neck tattoo yeah immediately i'm like anybody with a neck tattoo i'll relate to this mother because that's a life decision yeah you're you neck tat you motherfucker we gonna be all right because we're we're i don't have a egg tab but i know how you're living so i'm with you i'm with you these kids are playing rough and and he looked

at me he goes whatever happened to like getting hurt whatever happened to like falling down learning how oh well you shouldn't do that that hurts yeah well now learn how to fall better now learn how to not do that anymore well this this thing was gonna make you slip and scuff your knee it's okay yeah like that's part of learning you can't nerf the world you can't nerf the fucking world when you nerf the world and then you empower these people that have lived in a nerfed environment that's a problem they haven't experienced real adversity and they're mean yeah one of the reasons why they're mean is because they're scared yeah like a lot of these these people on social media that are really mean they're the ones who are the most scared and they're the ones who are the most weak for sure.

And the fact that they're so vulnerable is what's leading them to lash out and try to hurt other people because they're so easy to hurt. Of course. And they're so damaged. I mean that's literally the results of living in a nerfed world. But these people that you say are so weak how is that satisfying them to disable somebody that it's not they don't know what to do they're hurting and they just lash out like how are they writing an email like i'm gonna get this motherfucker send and they're like oh and then they see this like what that's gratifying for them they're like it's not even

it seems like it would be because they're just they're trying to hurt you they're trying to like get you but then eventually it comes back and gets them it's like they have to understand lebron james isn't doing that no you're like no winners are out there doing that this is loser behavior like you're lashing out at others who are doing while you're not unless it's like if you have a legitimate problem with someone you talk about lebron like what in the nba they don't just sit him down because the other player 22 hasn't got enough hasn't got enough play time right no motherfucker go ahead and score again okay we're with you right here we gotta make some money right it's good it's good in the when we're paying to watch on tv but when your kid's in it, I don't get it, man.

But I haven't experienced it yet. I've only had friends who have. So I'm fucking so excited to. It's fascinating just to watch them evolve. Watch their little minds grow. Talking to them. You know, just experiencing life through these new eyes and seeing them learn things. He's definitely going to be a little fighter.

He's a rotten son of a bitch. Of course. He sleeps with his hands up. And we have this. He sleeps with his hands up. And we have this. He sleeps with his hands up. Both hands up. I'm like, what are you doing? And he just like flexes them out and he'll put them back.

And he flexes them out. I'm like, what are you doing, man? Get ready. It's so cool. I put him in this little jumper and he has two. He has a blue frog and this red fish. And I don't know what this red fish did to him. But that motherfucker would just slide sideways and just look stank eye on him

just sit there and stare at him 20 minutes no movement no crying just slouched over and he corner peers at this red fish and I'm like dude what are you doing and I'll spin him and play with him and then he just

finds him again and just has a staring contest with this fucking thing that's hilarious he's practicing I think that shit definitely carries on him and then he just finds him again just has a staring contest with this fucking thing it's practicing practicing wow i think that shit definitely carries on through the child it has to right it has to it has to it has to i mean there's only there's things that people learn like well why are kids scared of monsters well this is you have to be careful of predators yeah you know it's one of those there's there's lessons you learn you see things that are scary like why do people have like a fear of snakes?

Are we out of beers? Is this the last one? No, we got a whole show. Oh, perfect. Okay. These bugwads are going down so smooth. They do go down so smooth. Yeah.

I think for sure that some of your personality is going to be transferred through your DNA, your life lessons. God, I can't wait, man. I'm so excited. Yeah. It's so cool to see see him and uh how early you're gonna start training him right away so he never knows anything else he's in not only joe is he not gonna he's not gonna know anything else but

we're dirt biking we're wakeboarding we're fucking scuba diving we're every crazy thing i do he's gonna do and he's gonna be fucking launching huge air and he's gonna get around his other kids and he's just gonna think that's just what you do right this is right oh you guys don't do that right oh that's i've been doing that for five years yeah that's what i thought was so he won't know any different and um yeah i'll definitely train him in wrestling and jujitsu and kickboxing absolutely absolutely and i'm gonna be the dad when he goes and beats a kid up at school i'm like what danger you fucking animal how could his name is danger your son's name is his first

name is dax and my name is donald anthony serrani so his name is d-A-C, my initials, and then S-O-N, so he's my son. Danger Cerrone. Daxon Danger Cerrone. I'm going to say, Danger, what are you doing in here? You can't be beating these kids up, and as soon as we get in the hallway, fucking fist bump, whatever you want, boy, let's go. Well, you already have evidence now on video. Yes, I am. Parents are going to go, you need to watch this video. I mean, if he's in there you

know defending his sisters or doing whatever he has to do i'm with him yeah get you some boy what's gonna the world's gonna be like just 10 years yeah when he's think about how weird it is from 10 years ago how where's it gonna be in my high school we had beepers that's right beepers remember when people had beepers that also could send text messages? Like, what the fuck? You're taking it too far. And I had a voice. You could leave a voice message on mine.

You could talk in voice, and you could call this and do it. But yeah, I mean, these kids, your kids, have no idea what it is to pass a note. Right. Or call Mr. Rogan. I was just wondering if I could talk with Sarah. Would that be cool? It's after 9 o'clock, idiot. Click. Yeah, that after 9 o'clock deal.

Right? Yeah. You have to be real careful what time you call. Texting. Set a bad precedent. Picture taken. But I think the picture taken is also taken a lot away from life like even me i get caught in it i'll go to lunch with three of my friends and two minutes into lunch we're all instagram who's rogan got on the show today you know yeah yeah i know it's it is a problem you you lose a lot of

your life to these fucking things. A lot of it. And it sucks you in. But it's also so awesome because so much is learned. Like you said. It needs to be managed. Right now, if you want to talk about we were just discussing the different kinds of

releases on the bow. Right. Maybe I don't know about you. Literally, two seconds after I leave here, I can YouTube it and I can – You know it all. I can know it all. Yeah, it's crazy. I can have experts on every single release, make my own judgment,

and decide what I want to do. Yeah. And that's crazy nowadays. And that's – the world is so much better in a sense, I think, because you can do that. But it takes away a lot of the bullshit people used to have do you probably when you were in school and the guy tells you i'm this this this and this yeah there's nobody no google search other than jimmy saying uh-huh yeah i was there

yeah right yeah he never knew never now you just go ahead like wait what Right? Yeah, he never knew. Now you're just going like, wait, what? Nah, man. That's negative. You are not a gold medalist, right? Well, you'll still see some of those guys are still floating around.

There's a few of those guys that are still floating around that somehow or another made it through the net. They came in the dark net. They're floating around right now like kind of like skating on the boundaries of incredulity it's so bizarre yeah there's a lot of frauds out there they're still still kind of operating fake black belts fake gold medalists fake yeah why would you want to be a fake black belt they don't know any better they just they just been lying their whole life mostly it's like the demons that you experience when you do mushrooms they got their own demons and you know maybe it was childhood molestation those people that lie that is just major that's just what they do they're probably beaten as kids their parents were shit everybody lied to them why does that have to be that person why person? Why can't it be the rich kid that was born in Beverly Hills that has everything?

And he lies too? He's still a liar. Why can't he be just as big of a piece of shit as them? He could be. But I bet a lot of those real severe liars, they come from abuse because they have to create a false life. But you get a lot of abuse in rich households too. Sure. Especially like maybe the dad has to work 16 hours a day as a banker or something

like that. He's never home. The mom's on drugs. No one's taking care of the kids. They're hanging around with a bunch of other lost kids in their school and they're all doing drugs together and fucking off and crime and all kinds of shit just to be, just to have excitement in their life because they're so bored and confused and lost and lonely and they start lying too.

Right. I mean, it all comes from the same place whether it comes from a rich kid or a poor kid it comes from your life being fucked up and you you're not you're not liking who you are you know so you need to eat mushrooms that'll help and deal with the demons deal with the demons and then go do something go do something so that you know that you could you could experience some nerves you know and and you could you could rise to the occasion sure you know i mean and learn about yourself that you can overcome and you could make mistakes and fail and then try it again and succeed and then what the

the bad feelings that you get like when you're worried about losing you know and these these these fears it's because winning is so high man i've seen you win so many times i've called so many of your fights and you know i look right in your eyes whenever you win and there's just like oh this dude's on fire right now he's just like there's no other i i couldn't even explain to you that feeling because no one can nobody can it is like you have to do it other than fuck fuck yeah right? That's the feeling. You know what I mean? But it's fuck yeah at times like a million.

Whew. You know? God, it's the highest highs, man. It's insane how cool it feels. I've seen it with you particularly like KOs. Right. There's something about KOs when you just crack someone and like there's something about chaos when you just crack someone and then it's over and then you're walking around i'm like you're like glowing like

i'm in my dmt yeah you did it you went through all the fucking demons and all the darkness and all the fear and all the insecurity and then you landed and then it's over and then it's just as fast as it started it's over and that's crazy yeah that's over and now you're back and then it's like hey four weeks from now blah blah blah fell out yeah what are you gonna do like we're gonna fucking do it again we're gonna start over yeah we're gonna start all over and people always ask me like how long are you gonna fight till i'm gonna fight till i don't love it anymore, Joe. I really am, man. I don't have an answer for anybody. It's a good answer.

The day that I wake up and I'm like, nah. Uh-uh. What we need is medical science to catch up where they could fix everything 100%. Right. Like head injuries, node injuries, everything. Just put people in some sort of microwave machine where they just bring it back to 100%. Thank you, sir. So then fighting becomes a matter of temporary injury rather than permanent injury.

And then it's a whole nother ball of wax. It's a whole nother ball of wax. Everyone's fighting 100% healthy. Yeah. And you also don't have to worry about your long-term health, which is one of the big problems with fighting. Yeah, you're like, you want to armbar me and break it? Did you see the guy who got his motherfucking arm cracked the last fight? Was it last Friday?

Lincoln, Nebraska. I didn't see it. Who got armbarred? A guy from Colorado. I watched the Kraus fight. I don't know his name. I watched the Gagey fight. The Brazilian guy took him down,

armbarred him. Snapped it? No, didn't snap it. Popped it and pulled it all the way back and had it bent. He said, man, I felt it pop, but I told myself we ain't losing this. And he just kept on.

It's moments like that that you could just say, fuck it, break it, because I'm going in this microwave yeah i'm going right from here ambulance to the to the microwave 10 minutes i'm fucking i'm gonna recook me yeah recook me that's possible someday i mean maybe it's not in our lifetimes but it's possible someday and fighting is going to be a different thing like uh that was what was so impressive about john when vitor got his arm right vitor oh jesus wait till it wait till he he uh oh man this is nasty this is right

right tap he taps right here but before before i don't know i don't know yeah before this he puts it behind his back and he has it fucking bowed. This guy used to train at Jackson's too, the Brazilian guy on the bottom. Hmm. Yeah, when John got tapped by Vitor, that was so nasty. I mean, he was fully hyperextended and his arm was fucked up for a while after, right? That's why he had to host the Ultimate Fighter. Correct.

He really couldn't train properly with it. Yeah, that's going to be a different animal in the future when people aren't worried as much about permanent damage. Right. I hope I need it because I do a lot of permanent damage. Yeah, most damage today is permanent damage. all these wild excursions i go on yeah tell me about the the cave dive you want to learn about cave diving okay so first of all cave diving is the last certification someone can get caving right

in in diving like you start off to get your open water then you move get your advanced open water get your get your nitrox and you start you start learning the rules of mother nature because mother nature is never gonna take a loss she wins every time the only bitch i know that wins a hundred percent of the time right you cannot you cannot fuck with her and come out winning so when she when wants to take you, she takes you. So you learn about all these different rules of the water and of the nitrogen levels that you're taking into your body. Anyway, cave diving is about five years. And I got my certification in high school.

And I am a super cave diver, man. I love it. I love it. I love diving. I love it I love it I love I love diving I love everything about diving I love ship diving um so no days caves you name it I love it so we were in Cozumel a couple weeks ago and uh one of my old you could almost call him instructor he's taught me a lot of what I know about diving today we We dove three or four days with some buddies of mine that were down in Cozumel, just went through some ships, went through some, like, it's the coral reef, just playing around, diving with them. And then we go and do a serious dive. He's getting a little bit older.

His mind is still very, very, very sharp, but his motor skills don't keep up with him much anymore, right? And in cave diving, it's very necessity that you need. So we jump in this cave. Let's rewind 20 minutes. I just kiss my girl and my new baby. And she's like, I don't really want you to go like right i don't he just i don't want to say his name but the guy you're going with like i'm worried i said what are you worried about i said i'm coming home like i'm this is what i come home

every time coming home fuck i don't know i don. I don't know. So I pick up another, I order another, um, cylinder of air just for extra. I have two originally I'm going with order another cylinder air. Just, I told her just for, just for just to fucking have it right. No one's ever died because they have too much air in cave diving. You dive in third. So if we have 300 PSI, we'll do a thousand PSI in, we'll do a thousand psi in we'll do a thousand psi out and we have a thousand psi in case something fucking happens also in cave diving they have lines you run these in a cave they'll already have a line run a bunch of guys like me tech divers have gone into caves they discovered them they mapped them they named

them and they put put lines so you can follow them in case something happens right get in and get out lines and lines and none of the lines really connect except for like the main lines they'll have like three or four main lines down big channels of the cave because caves are huge right from an interest to the main line usually no one has a cave you have to you have to make it what's called a jump you have to make your own own line because they just don't want someone listening on here today to go find a cave jump in swim down and be able to get in and out and get lost in there and also we have a thailand incident we're fucking wanting to save people so you make a jump tie off you put these direction arrows down um they're called cookies right pointing out towards the direction out of the

cave so that way if something happens you come out when you make a jump you take your light you wrap it around your neck and then you have two hands that work on the line the guy i was with didn't follow some of our rules and in cave diving it's kind of an unwritten fact that you only worry about you i'm coming home right i'm fucking staying alive so joe you me and i were cave diving something were to happen i'm not going in there to get you no reason for two of us to die when only ones in there can die so he tries to tie off his points he points, he fucking hits the roof of the cave, kicks his feet, spins,

and now all of a sudden this line, that's supposed to be tied off, which is our fucking lifeline, is now wrapped around him, so I swim over to him, and I try to help him unhook this line, and he goes into panic, and panic kills everybody involved,

everybody involved dies with panic and that's something that i can't express enough so he starts fucking freaking out hitting the roof spinning silt fucking everywhere and i just back out take about four or five big strong steps back when i grab a hold of the main line now it's silting out now when i say something's silting out there's all this like sediment that ends on the bottom of these caves and you're in like a little tiny room so if you kick your fin hard it kicks up like dark dust mud sediment silt you can't fucking see anything blacks it out so i back out of the silt i grab the line and i see him in there fucking freaking and panicking spinning and rolling around getting all caught up in this in this line and i'm like fuck why'd you stay calm

this was the exit i know where it is because i know where i am there's the exit he was making a jump to go down another tunnel there he is, what I just tell you about the rule that someone comes home, right? I broke the rule and I went in to get him. I said, fucking God damn. So I let go of the line and I go in to get him because his light fucking is off now. And I'm thinking, God damn it. He spun up in this line. His lights off. Did he drop his regulator? Is he have air? in this line, his lights off. Did he drop his regulator? Is he have air? Is he okay? Sooner that I go into the silt, fucking lose everything, man. Lose my way, where I am, my up, my down. I don't know where I am. I'm fucking panicking now. I'm panicking,

fucking freaking out more than any I've ever, breathing hard, bang, hit my head on the fucking ceiling. And I just closed my eyes. I'm like, God damn it, Cal, calm the fuck down, calm the fuck down, calm the fuck down, breathe. Can't even see my hands in front of me. I have two watches on, they're glowing, right? Those are my, to let me know my depth, my time, everything, right? I have two, two, two dive computers. I check them, I look, I calm. I check my light. I got to turn my light and burn my pressure gauges. They're glow-in-the-dark, right? So I charge it with my light and I look at, okay, air. Check my second one. Okay, air. I know my third one's good because I haven't even opened it yet. That's just in case. I breathe down. I fucking think and I can't even see my

hands in front of me. And to this day, i close my eyes and it gives me nightmares right now just thinking about it cloudy dark can't see anything all i can see is the hum of my light so i turn my light off and i'm trying to think like all right just just just calm calm yourself figure this out where's where's our partner i start feeling around and he's nowhere to be found, right? Nowhere to be found. So I'm now calm myself a little bit and I start feeling the walls and I start moving around. I'm trying to think where am I, but I don't know. Cause we haven't been down this channel yet. So I don't visually haven't made an imprint of, Oh, there's that, there's this right. Kind of like a mental imprint in my mind because

that's what we're doing as we're coming in landmarks right i don't have any of those i don't have any feel i don't have any touch and i'm moving around moving around i took a compass reading of the direction of the front when we've tied off at the first jump right so i know 126 degrees is the way out. But in a cave, they twist and they move and they're up and they're big and they're deep and they're low. There's no rhyme or reason how the water made the cave. So it's kind of a direction I can think of. The first thing that comes to my mind, I start swimming that way.

Now I hit a wall. Boom. And I go down. I hit a wall. And I'm fucking in panic mode again. I fucking swim swim now i just start swimming and kicking and fucking going crazy i make my way out of the silt and i fucking turn around i'm back on the main line right i find the main line to the cave again which is 800 yards to the front to the door i grab a hold of the main line I fucking reel it in again okay now

the entire behind me deeper into the cave is free it's no problem silt free I can see everything's good

where I need to go is fucking silted out and blown gone completely fucking washed I can't I couldn't see you sitting there but I can see everything behind us I can't see you i have the main line but i don't have the jump line to get the fuck out so i started thinking i was looking at the cave maps trying like before we went just

try to get a visualize of of the direction i'm trying to remember landmarks but i can't see anything i can't feel and i, fuck, there was a split up here. So I start, I go back into, back into the silt again and I start feeling around and I'm feeling and I find a hole and I'm like, is that the right way? Is that the one I want to go down? Where does that one go? Okay. Maybe remind, remember, remember, remember that's, that's not, okay, let's go to this next one i'm going to the next one and now this is this is where it's got to be i'm going but all of a sudden i'm swimming against the current and i remember when i came into this cave there was

this very slow current which is why the entire cave is now washed out from that point on right the current is taking out so i'm like fuck you're swimming against the currents. You're going the wrong way. I, I, I somehow worked that into my fucking panic mind. Like we're, we're swimming into the car. We're swimming in the current or we're going the wrong way. So I fucking turn, swim back. I'm back on the fucking main line again, right? I find the main lines. I out into the clear main line. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I start like hyperventing and panicking and I'm thinking man are you fucking you piece of shit this is how people die what the fuck are you right and i'm keep reminding kissing my wife and keep my kids saying i'm coming home today i'm

coming home i'm coming home so i do it again i fucking venture into the fucking great unknown fucking abyss total Total blackout. Another panic. Another panic. Fucking freak out. Can't find my way. Heating my head. Kicking.

Losing air by the fucking second, bro. Because now I'm breathing hard. I'm breathing fucking irrational. And I'm sucking my tanks dry. Right? Mind you, I'm on air. So I don't have. There's no.

There's no answer to this after i breathe my last breath keep checking everything keep keeping my time look in direction time time air time fuck slow down slow down slow down now i'm in pitch fucking black can't see anything trying to figure out where i'm at what i'm thinking what am i doing okay we're running out of air how much time do we have calvin we're at 28 feet i know we're at 28 feet. I could probably breathe on this for about another hour on this tank, another hour. So we've got another hour. Okay. We've been in here fucking 38 minutes already. How, what are we going to do? Start trying to find my way out. I can't trying to find my way out. I can't. Now my way out i can't now i start thinking what am i going

to do i'm not going to drown joe drowning is like my biggest fear of my life so everything that's called a bc we carry it on our back it's a buoyancy control device that's how you that's how you control your buoyancy when you're scuba diving right it probably holds 20 big, huge, strong breasts. So I fill that motherfucker up. This is my plan. I'm going to fill my BC up, which throws me to the top of the cave. Bonk. Now I've got to flip upside down.

I'm going to have to crawl on the ceiling trying to figure out where the fuck I am. Now I've got to get out of the cave upside down. And I'm thinking, all right, we've switched to our last bit of air. How are we going to do this, cowboy? What are we going to do? Filled our BC up. When I run out of air, I'm now thinking in my mind, how am I going to die, Joe? Right?

Tell my wife, tell my kid, I'm not fucking, I'm coming home. Now I got to fucking realize how am I going to die? I have a notepad that you carry in your pocket to draw and write on. I'm thinking, what, what, what are you going to say? What's your, what's your letter going to be? You're writing a fucking death letter. You're awake. You're a fighter. We figure this out. You don't fucking find a way to quit. You fucking bitch. This is a conversation I'm having with myself. While I'm in fucking complete panic mode and complete darkness. Thinking that there's no.

This is how people die. What the fuck are you doing? You're going to write a letter to your fucking kid. And tell her how you fucked up. I'm sorry. Daddy's not coming home. So I'm fucking thinking. I'm not going to drown.

I'm not going to breathe my last breath. So I'm going to breathe this BC that I just filled up with air and I'm going to fucking breathe it until the oxygen level no longer happens and I just pass out. That's what I've come to realize how I'm going to die. I'm going to fucking just slip away and pass out, keep breathing the same air until I go away. And I start thinking, you fucking piece of shit. You're giving up. You're having legitimate conversations with myself while fucking in complete panic. You're going to quit.

You're writing a letter. And you're going to fucking breathe your last air until you pass out. You fucking pussy. You're a fighter. Figure the fuck out. So I'm upside down. I'm crawling on the ceiling. And I remember when I came in.

We came in the big cave. And there's a huge fucking crack that runs along the top. Turn both my watches off now at this point because they're giving off light and I kill my light. I said that crack's going to fucking lead to the surface. That crack's going to fucking give us something. So I just start panicking me, panicking me again because I'm panicking. I don't know what to do i'm sucking air and i'm fucking breathing hard and i'm hyperventilating i'm crawling on the ceiling crawling on the ceiling looking for this fucking crack and god damn it i found it

i found the crack and i followed the crack and the crack got bigger and all of a sudden i see fucking glow like green glow crawling crawling crawling find it try to get up my tanks are too big i can't fucking get out of the little hole. Can't get out of the hole. I'm fucking. Beak, beak. Beak, beak. Fucking hitting, screaming, freaking out.

Calm down, cowboy. Calm down, cowboy. This is the way. Calm the fuck down. Reel it in. Reel it in. We're here. We made it.

Grab control. Follow the cracks more. Opens up. Out. out boom there's the cave fucking i'm out made it you're coming home you want to talk about wow motherfucking war right that was the feeling meanwhile my guy's out there i can't be mad at him because he panicked he grabbed the line he fucking ran out the hole and he looks at me and he says so we're not diving together ever again are we I said no that was it that was it

and I text my girl I I love you, baby. And today was a fucking scary moment. But daddy's coming home. And it was fucking so crazy because that was, I mean, I've almost died numerous times, but almost dying slowly, which puts it in perspective to me, like these guys on death row. I always thought like, yeah, fucking kill a murderer, man. That's, fuck them. like these guys on death row what i always thought like yeah fucking kill a murderer man that's fuck them dude knowing the time and how much time you have left that's some scary shit joe

knowing that you have two hours left how much air do you have left at the end maybe another hour probably probably. Hour and some change. But, could you imagine I had to talk to myself about how I was going to die? Like, to me, that fucked me up. That fucked me up really bad. Like, I probably had to go do some mushrooms and ask myself some questions now

because that fucked me up bad. But the inner me, the fighter, the you who do new fear at the fuck out. But, was I going to write a letter? i was fucking damn close to writing a letter it was crazy man it was wild damn hopefully i explained that good for everybody you explained it like a motherfucker yeah i'm nervous i felt like I was there. Fuck, dude.

That is crazy. Yeah. Man. And I'm going to do it again. Like, I'm not scared of it. Like, that just needs to be done better. I'll run my own motherfucking line. Well, it also shows you how important it is, like, what your wife was saying.

Yeah. You can't, you know, she knew something she had a sense like right when people fuck up a lot or when they're just that person that just can't keep it together you got to be real careful around those people yeah yeah fucking crazy shit man i mean that's why people kill those people in war yeah you know, they're just like, look, we can't do this. Yeah, we can't. We can't get everybody killed. Yeah, your panic is... Yeah, you're not hanging in there. You've become a detriment.

Fuck, dude, that is one of the craziest stories I've ever heard in my life. I'm glad I got to share it with you. It's fucking impressive. Well, let's move on. I don't know how we can move on past that one, man. Fuck. So as the Tap Out guys did for me, I'm starting a new fight series,

Cowboy Fight Series, man, amateur. And we're traveling all around the country, and we're going to be putting shows. And I'm going to try and find these new up-and-coming kids and bring them to the ranch. What are you doing it on? Well, I was talking with Ant with Fight Pass. I think we're going to get it on UFC Fight Pass.

Nice. And yeah, we're going to have probably eight undercard fights, probably two local guys in that area, and then we're going to do a four-man tournament for the assigned weight class. We'll probably go, I don't know, maybe like a 70 or 85, maybe 55 first. And the winner of the four-man tournament gets to come live with me train get brought up i know everybody man i can

make a call and get them on all the local promotions you know what i mean get them build these guys up and try and give back man and do like what the cow what the tap out guys did for me and just really i don't know show that show, show them. That's a great idea. Do you, do you think you're going to transition into promoting or managing or anything or training when you're done? I won't do any training. No? No.

I don't think when, when I round the corner in life, I ain't looking back, Joe. When I finally, when I finally made the corner, I ain't looking back, but I'll definitely help these dudes out, man. I'll figure it out. Him, her, him her whatever it may be you know you have no desire to train people people tell me i can teach very well i just don't agree i don't know maybe it'll be something that'll be more interesting to you when you're not competing right exactly you know but i'm hoping i move in into the movies i'll be a movie

star yeah well that sounds like fun. Yeah, I just did Equalizer 2 with Denzel Washington. It was a lot of fun. I had a small partner, but I'm with the Dash Now Brand X guys and doing a lot of stunts and having fun with that. How's Denzel? He's great. Yeah, great dude. Great dude.

Never met him. Yeah, he was cool. He was super cool dude. Never met him. Yeah, he was cool. He was super cool to me. Super nice. It was fun. I worked on a movie with Jay Haran. Oh, yeah. He's in that too? Yeah, he's in that too. Denzel's an Uber driver and Jay fights him in a car. It's pretty cool. Denzel's one of the greatest actors that's ever lived. Absolutely. I agree with you. 100%. You go over some of the greatest actors that's ever lived absolutely I agree with you 100% you go over like some of the greatest actors that's ever lived

you gotta have him on that list like you got a chance to work with one of the all time greats and he's so he's cool as a Cadillac

out there man he's just you know is it weird to be working with him it kinda was but he was real I mean on set

watching Denzel and then Denzel on set's kinda different but he you know a lot of there he is there's jay oh man that's cool right um it was fun man it was it was such a learning experience but anyways i was here last week and i met with pete berg who's the director he just did that mile 22 um yeah and i just got on the new mark warburg movie so i uh got a smaller thing on that but i'm he asked me to do the fight choreographer for the whole movie

so wow yeah pumped on it man i'm excited working working working with the guys doing that so it should be fun so you enjoy it love it it's cool it's just another avenue yeah just another something fun to do no that'd be a good transition for you you know so that's kind of my plan um but last night over a game of baccarat i uh gonna be a new race car driver how'd that happen my buddy ricky stenhouse jr he has a has a dirt track race team so january january it's called the chili bowl chili Bowl? Chili Bowl, 300, 300 entries And you take over five days You race and you work your way up to

Enter the Saturday night of the Chili Bowl And you get down there Dude, these are 400 horsepower cars You know, and Excuse me, they weigh 400 pounds Man, I don't know what it is I can't tell I don't know

They weigh more than 400 pounds, right? They're 400 horsepower but they weigh 900 pounds. Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. Dirt track. That's insane. Do you have some video of Chili Bowl?

400 horsepower, 900 pounds is insane. Yeah. And they just shit and get. Right? And so, yeah, that's it i'm i'm gonna january i'm going to the chili bowl and i'm uh i'm fucking gonna give it hell wow how fun that sounds like a good time and i said so is there like a couple warm-up days or practice or yeah here it is things look at this. Whoa. A dirt track.

There it is. Oh, my God. That is insane. So you're just going sideways everywhere. Yeah, just drifting. The whole thing is like halfway drifting. Right? Look at all those people. Oh, my God.

It's going to be so fun. Everyone's going completely sideways around these corners. It's hilarious. So in January, I told us Oklahoma, that's going to be me. Wow. Running it. I can't wait't wait it's gonna be so fun wow that looks like a good time and i said hey man we like have uh like i've i want to tell you just because my ego right that i'm a good racer but i don't really know if i am i've raced and

raced gold cards if you if you want to go down to the local gold card track we'll give it hell but have i ever done that never Never. I'm so excited. Are you going to practice? That's what I said. I said, is there some warm-up or practice days? And they said, no, you just can get five laps before the race. And I said... That's not enough. No. You need a couple of hours.

Hours, days, a couple of weeks. You need someone to show you, like, where do you in the apex of the term, when do I jump on the gas? So, what so what so fast forward into january calvin's gonna have five laps to fucking get it and then i'm on is there a place you can go to practice i guess you can you have to rent a track and but i was i was at the monster thing last night so i was talking with all the drivers right and they're like no we don't practice we just race like we just race to race. There's no practice. And I was like, huh? You don't what?

You just race? Okay. So can I pick up one of these cars? You all got like a loaner I can get in there? Like, yeah, we got you, man. You show up. So Chili Bowl is kind of like, I guess there's 300 injuries over five days. You just get after it.

Jesus Christ. Get away. I was so excited. It seems like that would be a skill, though. Going sideways in the dirt like that? You would have to learn how to... A skill that I don't have. No.

And they're going to let you race with pros. Yeah. That seems silly. That seems like jumping into... Seems like going to Jacksonville. Right off the street, slapping on some shin pads. That's exactly what the fuck's happening. That is so crazy.

So yeah, all you motherfuckers in Tulsa, Oklahoma in January, Chitlipo, Cowboys coming in hot. Hot. So then they tell me I got to pick a number. I don't know what number to pick. You got to pick a number and you pick letters behind the number. Wow. So I need a good number followed by BMF

because I definitely need that. Right. What would be a good number for you? I don't know. Would it be the year of your first pro fight? Would it be the year your grandparents bought you the ranch? Whew. That's not a bad one. It'd have to be Wade. What year was that? What year is that? I think

2011? 11 BMF sounds pretty fucking good. 11 BMF. All right. That sounds pretty good. 11 BMF. That sounds pretty good.

Right? Yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm going to send you a video so you'll be able to play it and you'll be like, man. That's not a bad one.

11 BMF is good. Liam, 11 BMF. Yeah. Since it's the ranch, why not have it the birth date of the ranch? Yeah. Accurate. You know? There it is. There it is.

So for all you 300 entries, you see 11 on this motherfucker. I'm putting you in the wall. Coming sideways around that corner with very little control. Almost no control. And if you think you want to see me down in the pits and come and take your helmet off and get crazy, you're just going down. What other shit are you doing that's ridiculous that you probably shouldn't be doing? Mounted shooting.

Mounted shooting? On a horse? On a horse. Do you put earmuffs on the horse? Yes, of course. Really? Yeah, stuff them down in her ears. Wow.

And what kind of rifle you're shooting colt 45 oh my god two of them that's hilarious two colt 45s in it yeah no no so so here's the rules you can't have more ammunition than the targets are on on the field right so there's 10 targets 10 targets so we load five shots into each six shooter wow right and you so there has to be a gun exchange while riding full speed shooting targets so you shoot one-handed while you hold it on with the other hand yeah i'm no no no i'm a right-handed so i run the reins on my left and i shoot with my right so here it is right here.

This is it. So on hand is where you'd shoot on hand. Off hand is when you put it over your arm. So this is off hand. Great. This is some Cowboys and Indians shit. That's it right there. Oh, look at this. You run around and shoot balloons.

Yeah. That is hilarious. Right? Who are these people in the stands that are letting you shoot me? These people have their fucking mind. You want me to talk about people that death bitch you're not shooting it's not live animation you're just shooting black like uh blanks oh yeah so just the gunpowders burning the balloons isn't it crazy that just the blanks

can do that much goddamn damage there's a guy in hollywood when i first came here in like 94 who was on a set and he didn't know that right and he thought it'd be funny to put a blank up to his head and shoot himself in the head yeah some people shoot themselves shoot the horse i mean you shoot your horse doing he's probably not gonna want to do it anymore yeah what the fuck man yeah they think that it's just a noise it's not just a noise so learning learning to get in your horse training getting around gunfire and doing it it's fun it's a good time that's like they're practicing for some old school revival yeah it's called sass single action shooting society and uh wild west fights it is and during the competitions and

during the shows it's it's like they they take it back and they and everyone dresses up and that's hilarious those are still to this, my all-time favorite movies. Like The Unforgiven. Westerns. Come on. Westerns are some of the greatest movies ever. Ever. I'm with you.

I love them. I love them to death. There's something about them. It's like that's a short period of United States history. But that's the period where people were like, fuck it. Let's see. Yeah. Let's see what goes on over here.

Let's see. Let's cross this divide. The weak guy. Yeah. He didn't make it, did he? That's one area. If there was a time machine, you can go back and see what it was like. What if you could only go once? And stay there?

And that was it. It was a one-ticket ride. I ain't going. No? No, this is the best time to live ever. They would all want to come here. Of course. Yeah, why the fuck would I go back with no doctors? But you would want to go to 3,000. How do you know? No, no, no. Hold on. of course yeah why the fuck would i go back with no doctors you'd want to go to 3 000 how do you know could be could suck hold on so now you say that but now how did how did the guy in 680 know that 2018 was gonna suck well they would have to know yeah they'd have to know like

we know like if we went back to 618 we're like listen so what you'd go give them a little here's this is a laptop you open up we have a thing called YouTube You get on it and you just search and that's where we live So if you want to come there I'll trade you They would trade in a heartbeat But if you wanted to go to the future where everybody could read everybody's minds And no one had dicks anymore Because we all reproduced through

Genetic engineering It'd be over But there's like an orgasm button that's attached to this helmet That you carry around with you because there's no more oxygen on Earth. And everybody's breathing some new gas that's way better. Yeah. I don't know, man.

I think right now it's pretty fucking good. I'm happy with today. I like it. So no air you'd go to? Nah. No. If I could come back. I'd go to like 1492, I think.

That'd be a good time. See what it'd be like when they landed. Yeah. Columbus and I'd be a fucking wicked pirate. I think I'd make a good pirate. You'd definitely make, there are a lot of homos though. Let you know. No homo.

There wouldn't be anything wrong with that. Pirates are gay. A lot of pirates are gay. I would be an un-gay pirate. Which makes sense because they're dudes on a boat. The un-gay pirate? The un-gay pirate. You better sleep with one eye what i mean yeah they'd come to me and i said no this this captain don't play that homie your ipads would be this high sleeping

yeah no no no no no i'll bring yeah i mean it makes sense right with the scarves and the crazy earrings they're all gay makes sense sense. Spanking each other. That's what they were doing, man. That's a fact. I'm not making that up. Fair enough. I think I'd go back to the Mongol days. I'd like to see what that would look like when they would take over a city and kill a million people.

And rape and pillage. Insane. They didn't have any respect for anybody that didn't live in tents. That's how gangster those people are. They're like, you live in a house, you fucking bitch. They didn't even any respect for anybody that didn't live in tents. That's how gangster those people are. They're like, you live in a house, you fucking bitch. They didn't even treat you like you were a person. I live in a tent with fire. That's all they lived.

Felt tents everywhere. Just took them everywhere. Nomadic people. So that would be your one stop. I would like to see what that was like. What if you could go back and then if you died, you'd come back here. So that would be... That would be a place where you'd come back here? So that'd be that. So if you went to a place where you're samurai sword.

Yeah. Yeah. There'll be a place where you could be pretty sure that you're going to die. Would Genghis open arms, welcome you into the clan? If I came back with an iPhone. What would you be? Yeah. What would you be? For sure.

I got some shit to show you. First of all, I'd have to tell him about Dan Carlin's Wrath of the Con audio series let's play it for him you'd give him a phone this is all wrong you'd give him a phone but there'd be no satellite tower

so it would be right right right I would have to have some recorded shit preloaded on there yeah some preloaded shit huh

some videos and movies and stuff and what would you wear would you come in just in case they got crazy or would you show up in like

2018 thermal optical lens glasses? I mean, you're like full riot police. Full riot. Yeah. If I could bring anything, I would for sure be locked and loaded. I want guns strapped to my hips, knives, fucking fully automatic. If you show up with a gun to Genghis Khan, you now become Genghis Khan. Oh, yeah.

I shoot him right in the dick yeah take over all of a sudden you he's not worthy because you have fully automatic on the roof just start jacking predator style the new sheriff in town like for sure and then i'll be reading about a movie like that wasn't it uh john claude van damme time cop uh-huh yeah remember that shit they went back in time and he had a machine gun someone did they went back in time and fucked people up and stole like civil war gold remember that but just like the movies say i think if you fucked that shit up yeah you ruin everything you might be in there just mowing people down with machine gun and then you would just vanish.

You'd be gone. Maybe your mom doesn't exist. Would you vanish, though? You'd have to, right? Probably. Or now that you're in this time, are you no longer in our time? Yeah, the timeline changes. Because you're there now.

Look at this. See, this guy's got fucking machine guns. Check this shit out. It turns out going back in time is a pretty easy way to make money. Look at this. Where are you from, mister? I'm from the future, faggot! He's already out of the bottle. The technology's there.

So that would be you. Meeting Genghis Khan. And would you learn a little bit of his language, you think? Or you just try and go in there with your iPhone and Google Translate? Yeah, that won't work without the internet. I think that the only way you would be able to communicate with them, you'd have to learn this language.

For sure. Yeah, that would be – how hard would it be to learn – do they even know how to say Mongol language anymore? I don't think they even understand what the sounds were. I think they're just guessing. I don't think they – So you'd almost have to go back, grab one, bring them here. have to teach have them in home teach you i don't know if they know how those people talk back then i think there's some real speculation because you'd be so smart and know so much but you couldn't communicate right yeah there's no like it's not like going to mexico now

where we kind of know uh cerveza. Right, right, right. Yeah. Well, I think that's the same with the Mayans. And that was only 1,000 years ago. We don't totally know how they were talking. There's a lot of speculation. They're still translating a lot of those ancient Mayan ruins and the Texan. And Cancun, that's where, like Tulum?

Yeah. When I went to Tulum, I went to Chichen Itzu, which is three miles. I went there once. It's amazing. in ruins and there's a text on and in cancun that's where like tulum yeah to me when i went to tulum i went to chichen itzu which is out three miles there once it's amazing how the fuck did you take the tour yeah yeah we had a professor take us on a tour so amazing right and they talk about all the rituals and all the how they drink out of snow days and then they tell me that how they would cut their testicles and And I was like, wait, what? And they're like, yeah, that's, that's how the, the, the shaman or the, the grand mass, whatever the head religious guy, I don't know what the, I'm an idiot when it comes to that,

but they knew through, they're very smart, right? They knew of astrology and they knew when eclipses and what were coming. So he would wait for the eclipse to come knowing knowing that three minutes later it's going to just go ahead and pass but all the people that were with him had no idea they didn't know right they had no idea that it was going to stop they thought they had done something wrong the gods were punishing them with darkness so when the darkness comes he like cuts himself and offers his blood to the to the gods moon sun comes back out huh dick ball blood ball blood ball blood that's some precious blood precious blood and out and at that moment i was like

so wait a minute you were just tricking these people. I've been tricked my whole life. I go to fucking church and I've been tricked my entire life. Like you just tell these people that don't know enough and you knew the real, but you told them it wasn't. Wait a minute. What's going on here? I sat back and thought, and I was like,

you probably had to do what you got to do to control those people back then. Goddamn savages. Yeah. Show them, show them a little ball play. So what about today? So what about today? We got to, we got to.

You're not playing any fucking games. Cut my balls. Balls. Look, I'm controlling the sun. Bang. Covered it with the moon, bitch. And now everyone's like, oh my God, you brought light back.

Yeah, otherwise. You know everything. You have to. And you have a machine have a machine gun you got a machine gun too bitch but i only have 30 rounds so you couldn't you couldn't get up there and really you couldn't really i mean unless you came armed up but how long would those bullets last because there's no way you're making a new bullet yeah everybody has to see it too because they're not going to believe you have to shoot everybody and if you brought a fucking machine gun back to the Mayans, what do the guns I'm playing with today look like? Yeah, no kidding, right? Yeah.

You'd fuck shit up. Fuck shit up. For thousands of years. That's the thing about guns though. They get a little better over time, but you can have a gun from 10 years ago and it's state of the art. I believe those guns 10 years ago 100 years ago are built better than the shit ones

today than the shit ones yeah but they still make real good guns today too sure but that's the thing the thing is like it's weird the technology of guns is sort of in like like you don't need it like with bows one of the things about compound bows is people, a lot of people want to know the new models every year because they get better. Sure. But they don't really, guns don't get that much better. Like a gun from 10 years ago is still a bad-ass gun. Well, like I have a bunch of Henry rifles, right?

The Henry rifle from nine, from years, all American made from years ago to the same gun they say now it's the same gun. Yeah. Yeah. They nailed it. Nailed it got it yeah but yes i wonder how much innovation is how much room for it well until we start doing laser shit like different you know i mean they got they got a they got a reamp you know what drives me crazy about lasers like uh star wars type shit how come i could see? How come I could see them? How come I could see them? Because there's clearly fog in the room.

You didn't see them. They're moving too slow. With the lightsaber, they hit the thing and it's full. Bullets are so much faster than lasers. You see them. Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo. Maybe it's that long of a shot. Maybe their bullet is that long.

I think a late... Oh, like a flying lightsaber. Yeah. Choo, choo, choo, cho Yeah. Oh, I never thought about that one. You're sending big laser beam. Right. Okay. Not only does it hit you, but it just keeps going. Right. I didn't think

about it that way. Like you're shooting crossbow bolts of lasers. Yes. Of burning hot. Is a laser hot? It's got to be, right? Or is it cold? Well, there are cold lasers. I had a bulging disc once, and I went to this therapist.

They put cold laser on it. I don't know, but I like this idea of flying. And then she said, come back three more times this week, and we'll get you in. They just kept doing it. It wasn't – I don't think it really worked. But the cold bursts, I think the laser bursts, if it was like that, like flying lightsabers, holy shit. Yeah, I think the bolts were just huge until you let off the trigger. Still too slow.

See if you can find a scene from Star Wars 1 with them shooting at each other. Those bitches, it's slower than an arrow. They're not moving that fast. If you try to watch an arrow coming from a compound bow it's harder to follow so you couldn't catch it yeah no chance no chance no chance no 280 feet a second no chance and catching shit but that those those bolts from those laser guns look slower than that and you're probably right you wouldn't the new the new laser you wouldn, there's no way you'd see it. You wouldn't see shit.

But that's just theatrical for a movie. I know. You'd see it coming. But it just makes me feel like they think I'm an asshole. So when you take this time travel, so if you could go forward or back, you would go back? 100%. I would too.

Yeah. I would too. Well, I'm a human. I don't think there's a good future for humans. I think we're going to be something different. So you think think if you shoot forward you might be the only one in there yeah there might be no more people everybody's in now you're in a cage getting probed oh for sure they're gonna test you i can't believe we found one of these what it's like a tasmanian tiger or something like that like holy fuck lock it up lock it the video of the last Tasmanian tiger?

Uh-uh. Jamie, see if you can find a video of the last Tasmanian tiger. It died in a zoo, I want to say in like 1930. Sad. What's interesting is they think they're still alive, but Australia is so big. Australia is as big as the United States. There it is. That's a Tasmanian tiger. That was the last-

What, just butt stripes? It's a marsupial predator. That's a Tasmanian tiger. That was the last. What, just butt stripes? It's a marsupial predator. It's the last real mammal predator or marsupial predator that lived in Australia. That's what it was like.

It was like a crazy dog-looking thing. But they found, look at the mouth-open picture of it. Look at that fucking mouth on that thing. That is crazy. But there are people that are real reasonable people that believe that there's still a few of those that exist in the wild. There's been enough sightings of these things that they think that... What is the actual name of that thing?

It's got a crazy name. Thysaline, right? How does it spell? T-H-Y-C-A-L-I-N-E Thylacine? Whatever it is. That would be us. T-H-Y-C-A-L-I-N-E. Thylacine? Whatever it is. That would be us.

Being one of those fucking cages. The last person. Just wandering around. Looking around. Stupid. All the robots are all probing us. So if you could bring one person, would you bring a best friend or would you bring a female counter? Gotta bring a chick, bro. You got to, right?

You got to. You got to. Yeah. Yeah, you got to. I'm with you. Because you want to bring your friend like bro yeah look i love i love to hang out with you but you know you know i don't want to be i don't want to be the last guy in a cave in china yeah without some pussy no no no no yeah yeah that would be yeah yeah but if i was a pirate Then I guess it would be okay What was the gay cowboy movie

What was that movie Brokeback Yeah we ain't going there No we ain't going there We are not That's going there A little too intense bro This fears

That shall not be conquered No disrespect to the Gay friends Out there listening. Cheers to you. Hey, cheers to you. I would definitely go in the past just to see what it was like in ancient Egypt or ancient Rome. I mean, I just got back from Italy. Right.

And we checked out Pompeii. Of course. And you're wandering around where all these people died almost instantly from volcanic ash, 20 feet high. And you see other, you saw like their, right, they chipped it away and you can see the Yeah. There's one where they found recently where a dude got hit in the head by a flying boulder.

You just see his skeleton and a giant rock where his head would be. It's a way to go. Yeah, I mean, you're like, ah, nothing. Doom, done. Blackness, DMT world. DMT, is that where we go, you think? Maybe. There it is. Look at that. Isn't that crazy? Wow.

Not kinda got him. Oh. Got him. Look at that article that says, fuck Pompeii. But fuck this man in particular. Man, got him. Whoever wrote that, that's hilarious. Anything that was blowing from the mountain. Yep.

Big chunks of rock that got spewed out of this volcano. Wow. Yeah. The whole thing is crazy. Like when you're wandering around Pompeii and just realize. Look, he looks like he's face forward. He got hit in the mug. Right.

Like he saw. Right. Yeah. He got. Yeah, it's like he saw Like Right Yeah He got Yeah it's true I didn't even think of that He wasn't running Look at that one man

That is fucked Is that just volcanic ash Mummification Just preserved Volcanic ash Look at his teeth That is insane And it's spooky

I'm This guy is coming On my next trip for sure yeah he's gonna show up yeah fuck that is the way to go volcanoes man yeah i have a friend who goes to the big island every year for thanksgiving and i'm like you going back? He's like, fuck yeah. I'm like, you're crazy. You're going back? That thing's on fire. What if it splits in half and sprays

out? It's taking over. Then the gods, we made the gods mad. Pele. Pele's pissed. What area do you think you'd go to the Wild West? Where do you think you would go? I rounded towards Pirates, but then you super whip-shopped me back.

So, yeah, we'd probably be. How about Lewis and Clark? If you could go on a Lewis and Clark expedition, how wild would that be? Make your way across the unknown. No one knew what the fuck was out there. What the fuck? Just taking a chance, trying to walk across the united states i mean that's that's that's almost as saying the same era i wanted to go when columbus was trying to

like you know what let's just sail across this flat earth yeah they knew and now we're back to flat yeah oh some people we discovered it wasn't flat and now we're back to flat and i have this argument people i said while doing the pilot school that i'm in like you have to keep adjusting for the curvature of the earth no no no it's not real it's not real no the world's world's flat as flat like that tv it's just a lack of education it's it's an interesting thing too because it shows you how distracted people are but they want to argue about something that's already been figured out. And the videos and the literature that people come up with for these is insane. If you Google fat earth, by the time the video –

By the time it's done, you're like, god damn, it might be flat. I'm not going to put this in a video. Cowboy realizes the earth be flat. And they're going to put this in a video. Cowboy realizes the earth is flat. He had a lot of good points there. Shit. Yeah, if he's not sitting across from Neil deGrasse Tyson. Because if he was, Neil deGrasse Tyson would be like, hold on. Hold on.

That's not how it works. Hold on. That's wrong. Hold on. This is why we know that's incorrect. See, I don't have the knowledge to be able to check people like that. I do know that you have to constantly readjust for the curvature of the earth. Yeah, I know that.

But that's my one fact. And then the rest of them, they're like, and then, and then I'm like, huh. The crazy one is the water. Yeah. They're like, water doesn't stay on a curve. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. it does it does gravity

it's called the oceans yeah and and if gravity's not real where the fuck do you think waves come from bitch dude and what do they say there's a a glacier all around holding yes yeah the 700 foot wall there's an ice wall around the outside edge and then the government protects the ice wall why why why would they why okay this is just me i'm i'm nobody i'm just joe blow reading an article why would nasa and the government spend millions and billions trillions right to protect the fact that it's around earth when it's flat to me i would say, we live on a flat earth. This is where it gets even stupider. Like how does it affect my day to day? They're trying to protect us from the truth or shield the truth from us that we live in an incredible special environment.

We live in the firmament that's protected by a dome. A dome. The creator is real and that all the elite powers want to keep this information from you. It's basically people that don't have an education that are failures that use all their energy misplaced to make these videos that don't make any sense. They've figured it out. They make sense to me.

I'm the dummy that watches like... It's because anyone making a video where no one's interrupting you, no one's telling you you're incorrect, you're allowed to just continue saying bullshit things over and over and over again, unchecked. And so if you listen to this and they use big words and they sound smooth and confident. And they have degrees behind them and charts. Yeah, graphs.

And I'm like, clearly the picture shows ice wall. They definitely don't have degrees. There ain't nobody with a degree out there that's telling you there's an ice wall. I don't know, man. You can get some pretty shoddy degrees lately. Well, there was an article recently about schizophrenia, and I think anybody that thinks is really in the ice wall and they have a degree, they should probably go to a doctor.

They're probably on some sort of medication and something's wrong. There's some sort of a – the levels are off. For sure. Do you really think there's an ice wall around a plate? The earth's shaped like a plate? off. Do you really think there's an ice wall around a plate? The earth's shaped like a plate. So are they just pumping

oxygen in or our natural habitat creates it? Do they believe that? That's a good question. They don't believe in gravity. So I don't know what they believe in. And what happens when we send rockets into... It hits the dome. Those are all fake, bro. Rockets are fake.

Satellites are fake. You know what else is fake? Dinosaurs. No. They don't believe in dinosaurs. But you want to know what's really funny? Will you show me, Jamie? Australia is fake, too. Australia is fake.

We just saw the mummy from the volcanic. Yeah. Right? Is he fake? He's real. It might be fake. I don't even know. We just looked at a picture on Google.

We really didn't investigate that. If it's on the internet, it's real. The dude who got hit in the head with the rock is real as fuck real as fuck so the dinosaur that got hit by a rock he's fake could be i wasn't there 65 million years ago is a long time yeah especially when the earth's only 6 000 years old they have one thing on their side and this is the one thing on their on their side this is one of the reasons why they make this argument it's because when dinosaur bones were first discovered when they were first discovered there was a whole race to find dinosaur bones and there was a lot of fuckery there was a bunch of people that were faking things and piecing things together that didn't work and and hiding bones and saying they found

them they were just trying to make a name for themselves. But that's just greedy human nature in the face of an actual real discovery that's very valuable. And that discovery was that they're dinosaurs, that there was a gigantic breed of lizards that roamed the Earth millions of years ago. Yeah. And so all that's just propaganda. Yeah, and all that's just propaganda. In Colorado, on the side of the mountain by Red Rocks, they have a whole closed-off section where they're just doing excavations. Yeah, and huge, giant feet print in the rock that you can go up and touch.

Probably four or five different species of badass lizards. My friend John, he knows a dude who owns a ranch in Montana, and they found a T-Rex on this guy's ranch. They pulled a T-Rex out of this guy's ranch. They found it in the ground, and they gave him a fuckload of money for it. It was like if they find some sort of discovery like that, that's worth a million dollars. It has to be. Yeah, it has to be. But that's fake?

He buried that? No, it's real as fuck. That's what I'm saying. They found this one thing that was poking up, and he brought in these geologists, archaeologists. What would they be? I would sell all but a tooth. You're telling me you wouldn't have a T-Rex tooth hanging on a necklace? Fuck yeah, I'd keep one tooth. One tooth?

What is a person who searches for dinosaur bones? Like, you have a bear tooth hanging? I have a fucking T-Rex tooth. Is it an archaeologist? Right, but I was thinking archaeology being human history no archaeology is what your wife paleontology that's so true. Yes, that is so true. They come at you with shit from years ago.

Get her a whip. Yeah, paleontologists. Yeah, so they called in a paleontologist. The paleontologist started cleaning off whatever this was. And then he's like, holy fuck. He's like, this is a goddamn T-Rex. Apparently, it's like a lot of it you know sometimes it's like you only found a couple of bones yeah they found a lot of shit i would like to see that man if i could go back one of them jurassic park so now we're going

back i'd like to see that too now we're going all the way back. Yeah, that's Colorado right there. That is fucking insane. Insane. So what the fuck? That is insane. Yeah. Do you know how much time that would take to falsify that? So you got to brainwash five people and tell them what we're going to do is we're going to go chip this rock out because we've got to fucking fake a bunch of people.

Have you seen this in person? Yeah, I've been there. I walked all over it. You can walk on it? You can walk on it? You can walk on it. Well, see that little gate right there if you back out a little bit? Yeah.

See that little gate? But that's just a little gate. There it is right there, the little girl standing there. That's crazy, man. I mean, that's right there in Colorado. Wow. Right by Red Rocks. Yeah, exactly. It's right there, the little girl standing there. That's crazy, man. I mean, that's right there in Colorado. Wow. Right by Red Rocks. Yeah, exactly.

It's right there. It's hard to book a gig in Red Rocks, man. They're booked up to like 2021, 22. You're going to do a live show in Red Rocks? I was trying to do a gig in Red Rocks. That would be fucking epic. I was trying, but I could only get like Tuesday nights. Hey, man.

Tuesday nights up until like 2022. You know what Tuesday night's better than? You know what Tuesday night's better than? know what tuesday night's better than never never no night yeah you're fucking awesome i'm gonna need a couple tickets to that so the the people don't believe the earth is for the believe the earth is flat not round they don't believe in dinosaurs they don't believe in nuclear weapons either wow that's the earth is flat and not round. They don't believe in dinosaurs. They don't believe in nuclear weapons either. Wow. That's the other one. Nuclear weapons are a hoax.

Hoax. Yeah, only a few people don't believe Australia is a hoax. And a lot of people say that's disinformation. It discredits the flat earth movement. They were saying their planes fly upside down and shit, and that's all upside down. Where are the Australians coming from? Because Kyle Noakes in Australia right now,

I could probably call him. He's probably a government agent, bro. He's so careful. Shit. Any phone call you make to him is just going straight to the Illuminati. Damn, I'll call Kyle. Are you in Australia? Yeah, bro.

Yeah, you got to be real careful. Yeah. What does he do? Is he retired now? He's coming back. He's trying to come back. Really? Well, the problem is he didn't fight his UFC career out.

Oh. When he retired. So they still have him under contract. contract how many more fights don't know i didn't get into that so he wanted to retire and fight somewhere else i think he just wanted to retire but now he's got the itch again because the itch comes so he's like yeah fuck it i'll come back do maybe whatever and they're like no you come back with us or you don't come back at all. Contracts. Contracts. Legal agreements.

Tricky world we live in. And I figure if he was a government agent, he could sweep that under the rug, right? Yeah, but then it would be too obvious. It's part of the cover. Part of the cover is you get him locked in the contract so he becomes one of the regular working men. He is a working man. He can say to you, damn, stuck here in this goddamn contract. And you're like, you're one of us,

Kyle. Meanwhile, he's wearing a wire. Damn. Yeah. Well, damn you, Kyle. Is the earth flat, Kyle? It's definitely not. Is the water, the water, is that how they say it, water? World Anti-Doping Agency? No, the

the Australians say water. Water, mate. No, that's water. World Anti-Doping Agency? No, the... The Australians. Oh, the water. Water, mate. No, that's water. The water's upside down, mate. Your mom. Your mom. Yeah.

Yeah, they're a different breed of human over there. God. They just, they evolved for hundreds of years. Because they're prisoners. Yeah. We just, what a great idea. Bring them to the best place on earth. And drop them.

Yeah. See ya. But the stupidest thing is they're like, yes. Wait. I don't have the, I'm not getting to death.

Oh, you just dropped me on a super badass island. Yeah. That's bigger than the one you're on. Bigger than the one you're on. Way better weather. Way better weather.

Gorgeous. And then they dropped all these prisoners off and they started a crazy hierarchy and the ones that didn't really make it just went into the bush.

Yeah. And they're still there today. And then there's the Aborigines who are already there. And then on top of that, hot chicks. I don't know what they did.

They grow them hot out there in Australia. Something about the the prisoner genes. the wild prisoner genetics. Something about that wild fucking criminal gene. Well, most of the wild criminal genes are the crazy alpha male guys, man. The guys that are like the weaker 2018 liberals are saying, oh, you can't do that. Yeah, there's a lot of control going on today.

You can't do that. So you're going to Australia. Yeah, you used the word faggot. You used the word faggot. Damn. That's one of the last words. So have I ever told you I got in trouble with the oc for saying faggot i'm not allowed to say it anymore but you already just did i know because we didn't call somebody

yet you're just making the noise yeah this is this is like a this is like a shell we're in a bubble okay so did they it's vegas i'm drinking all night they had me do this show at 8 a.m. on Sunday morning to reflect the fight. It was me and CM Punk. And I'm reflecting the fight that DC had with Anderson Silva, who I respect, appreciate. Great dude. I didn't like the way DC fought that fight. So when somebody asked me about it, I said, man, he went out there like a fucking faggot and held him. He didn't fight to win. that fight. So when somebody asked me about it, I said, man, he went out there like a fucking faggot and held him, you know. Yikes.

He didn't fight to win. Right. Well, that was completely out of context. I didn't mean that. Like, I didn't mean, like, he was a homosexual. I just say faggot like you're a bitch, like you're a punk. So I have to explain myself. UFC makes me put on this

rainbow shirt and tell them I apologize. They put on a rainbow shirt? Rainbow. Oh. Oh, rainbow. They made you put on a rainbow shirt? Rainbow shirt, the PR team, and apologize.

That seems homophobic in and of itself. Well, I have all the gay activist rights coming after me now. They're wanting money. How strange is that? They want money from me because I offended. You have to donate. I have to donate. You should donate. i did have to donate i did donate so anyways i tried to get on and explain myself i said man i didn't call him a faggot like a faggot i called him a faggot like a bitch and that backfired

big time yeah and i i mean that's just how i talk talk. If I called you a punk bitch faggot, that's just what I say. I don't mean it in any other way other than that. But the thing is, here's the thing, right? I don't mean any. I don't mean any. Homophobia. Homophobia is bad, right? But are words bad?

If you feel the same way, is it a real issue? I'm six years in. I have to pee so bad. Go ahead. Go ahead, pee. All right. You got to pick your beer. All right.

Yeah, I'm three in. All right, take a break. Good luck. I think all words are dependent upon the context and your intent. Like, what do you mean? If you say to someone, like, come on, bitch. Like, and they're your friend, what do you, what do you mean? If you say to someone like, come on, bitch, like, and they're your friend, that it's fun. But if you say to someone, come on, bitch, and then you hate them, those exact same words are taking on a totally different meaning.

And that's the same thing with every word, except the N word. The N word, it's like, it's so toxic. You can't even use it joking around. And you definitely can't use it the way you could say almost any other word. So like, I had a bit that I was trying out for a while, but I had abandoned it. Where I was like, the N word's one word that you can't even call yourself. Like, you can't even say, God, I'm such an N-word. Because people get fucking mad at you. You can't even say it. But here's the catch.

If you're a black guy, you could toss that shit around like a beach ball at a concert. And it's fine. And if you're a black girl, you could use it as well. Although a little more sparingly, please. Right? They can't use it the same amount. Black girls like tend to use it just a little bit more leniently, but they could do whatever they want with that word. It's one of the more fascinating words I think in human history in terms of like its impact, what it means, and how it can ruin your career. Like didn't that one congressman have to resign because Sacha Baron Cohen had him yelling out the N-word? Right?

What was he? It was just because of that, but that probably was on the list of things. What was he? A rep? What did he do? Was he a representative? I think he was a state rep in Georgia maybe. Speaking of the future, what is up with that commode was he a rep? What did he do? Was he a representative? Speaking of the future, what is up with that commode you got in there?

That thing does everything? Yeah, it does everything. Shoots hot water up your asshole. It's warm when you sit down. It's wonderful. It's heated. Yeah. You would fit in great with the Pirates if you said, guys, just trying to be clean, bro. Come try my commode out. Give you a little hot of shower.

You're not a homophobic guy. No, you're not. But it's one of those things where if you say it, I guess if you're a gay person and you hear someone say it, you'd be really upset. Like they're being homophobic. The problem is like the word bitch is not good enough in certain situations. And they're trying to get that one too. Remember W. Kamau Bell wouldn't say? He says he doesn't say bitch anymore. I'm like, dude you're self-censoring we're limiting language i did this podcast with wolfman ron serious and he tells me

that he and i'm not a homophobic at all i just caught me off guard i didn't know how to i didn't know how to take it when he told me that he experiments he didn't kind of know if he like boys or girls and i was like oh jason ellis yeah oh okay yeah and i was like what like you don't know what you like he's like yeah i've been to a couple parties you know and i just go both ways and we just have groups of people and sometimes it'd be groups of guys and i was just scratching my head and like huh okay i didn't know how to i didn't know how to take that right if you don't expect it i've known him for years years and he dropped this ball on me and i was like man uh i man, I didn't know how to take it.

It just caught me off guard. It was weird. He's like, what do you think? You think, like, I like girls, but I also like, or I thought I liked guys. What I wanted to say and what I said were two different things. You know, it's like. What did you want to say? I wanted to say, man, no offense, but man, you put a dick in your mouth and you are a faggot but this so now you're

changing the meaning i know i understand that i wanted to say that's what you wanted to say the inner me was wanting to say okay and i just looked at him like fuck i didn't what like i was just so blown back by it but why is that shocking if people are definitely gay it's not i right yeah it's shocking because you didn't expect i didn't expect it right yeah but it's not shocking that someone's gay no it's like there's a lot of gay people nothing wrong with it i don't care at all nor do i but when you don't expect someone to be gay and then you're like whoa because then you thought that he was like you like yes like you and i we're just a couple of straight guys hanging out but meanwhile he meanwhile he was not he is uh the one thing that is odd with me with people that say things like that is that they go sometimes sometimes i like guys sometimes i like girls like i couldn't imagine what would

that that would be like like you're not sure you're not sure i mean like what do you mean you don't know like straight sometimes you're not like joe no matter what every time i go to basket robins i get vanilla like that's that's what i'm going with strawberry yeah you know rocky road sometimes i'll dabble in there but i'm if you brought me back vanilla you know i'm gonna like that you know it's not it's not like well as long as i go there sometimes i like yeah right i mean there's people that look they're just wired different there's nothing wrong with it as long as he's not trying to fuck you but why would that be a problem all of a sudden it'll be a problem if you don't want to fuck him. True. He was coming on to me.

That makes you realize what it's like to be a girl in the most insignificant of ways. Because with a girl, it's obviously more dangerous because guys are bigger than you. And they can actually hold you down and fuck you. But when you're around gay guys, I used to work out at a gay gym when I was doing news radio. I worked at Gold's Gym in Cole. And I used to describe it. I was a tasty little morsel and a big gay stew just it was the closest gym to the studio it's a great gym but it was filled

with aggressive gay guys that had like aggressive they had those scrunchie socks like fucking they were in a music video from the 1980s like their flash dance socks these guys like timberlands and stuff and like super tan and roided up and just hitting on each other left and right with leather vests on i mean it was crazy it was such a crazy scene and when you go there you realize that these guys are they're like leering at you they're not looking at you like a guy what's up man how you doing you know they're you know using the triceps you know no it wasn't that they'd be looking at you if you walked into an all-female lesbian super smoke show gym that's how you'd be looking all of them like oh yeah but i guess have you walked in all all lesbian all lesbian, Jim, they probably look like Tom Arnold. No, but in my fantasy that I'm in, they're all like super hot fitness models like in

there working out. Hitting each other with pillows. If they were legit lesbians, they'd be like, what the fuck are you looking at? Then you would be the perpetrator. Yeah, you'd be feeling like the guys look at you and you're like, what the fuck are you looking at? Yeah. feeling like the guys look at you and you're like what the fuck you looking at yeah i mean the real thing is i feel like uh gay and straight people everybody can get along fine as long as

everyone's on the same page right and as long as they're not trying to fuck you if you don't want it and you're not trying to fuck them if they don't want it like if you're not trying to fuck these lesbians because you you you respect the fact they only like girls, that's all great. And the gay guys aren't trying to fuck you. But the thing is you can't tell by looking at someone. Can we get mad at the double standard? You're saying, hey, these gay guys, they say sometimes. What about these girls?

They're like, well, I sometimes like girls and sometimes I like guys and girls. And then you're listening. They're like, yeah, that sounds like a pretty good idea. It does sound like a good idea. And I think we should shut the fuck up about that. Otherwise then you're listening and you're like, yeah, that sounds like a pretty good idea. It does sound like a good idea and I think we should shut the fuck up about that. Otherwise, they're going to get insecure.

They're going to stop that practice. Let them keep going. Have a good time. But all of a sudden, I'm like, guys, I'm like, girls, hey, Joe, you want to come on the guy trip?

Exactly. We're hypocrites. No, I don't. We're hypocrites. Yeah. But there's something about guys, for straight guys, the idea of a guy fucking you or making you suck his dick is the most horrific thing. It'd be right next to the cave diving experience for me.

The nightmares would be. But I have no, zero ill will towards them and I don't have any problem with them in any way in society, in any way, shape or form. I'm not even remotely homophobic. I like gay people. Sure. But there's a reality that gay dudes are dudes and dudes are kind of gross and they will try to fuck you. And that's the one thing. I had a friend of mine who was a wardrobe guy and he was a gay guy. And he was always telling me about these straight dudes that he would lure them in and turn them and get them to suck his dick. He's hilarious.

My wrestling coach tells stories about that, about college, how the gay guys would fuck the football players. And I'm like, wait, the big bad football college guys are getting what yeah and same same thing yeah that's there's there's they love it they love to turn this like just like a guy would love to turn a lesbian love that would be a mission wouldn't it yeah i used to have a joke about that that guys believe in gay guys like i believe in gay guys. But I don't really believe in lesbians. I think they think they're lesbians. That's just because they ain't got a hold of this sweet dick.

They ain't got me. That's how every guy looks at a lesbian. Like, yeah, I know she thinks she's a lesbian. Let me fuck her a couple times and be nice to her. I can eat pussy way better than another girl. I feel. They don't know what they're doing. They don't have the kind of endurance.

There's no way. And I brought the dick. I can eat pussy way better than another girl. I feel. They don't know what they're doing. They don't know what they're doing. Jeez. There's no way. And I brought the dick. Yes. You don't understand. Like, not only did I eat your pussy. And I brought the dick. And I brought the dick. Yeah.

Yeah. So men don't necessarily totally believe in lesbians. But they 100% believe in lesbians but they 100 believe in gay dudes then why why don't butch girls act more like super i mean they do they cut their hair and they were some of them do but the gay guys all got the snap and the press what no they don't though there's some fucking like beefy bodybuilder gay dudes that look like straight guys. Yeah. You can't tell. Yeah. Until they slap your ass in the gym and tell you, good sign.

And then you're like, whoa. No, I don't need a spot, kind sir. You stop right there. It's like, there should be a way to tell. Like, they have different markings. Oh, shit. Different kinds of birds. Like, oh, that's a female.

It's a female bird. See those extra feathers? But what if it's a transgender now? Like, oh, that's a female. It's a female bird. See those extra feathers? But what if it's a transgender now? Oh, now you don't know what. What if it's wearing female feathers, but who? That's an odd one, right? Because that's one that like we didn't think about when we were kids. You have children.

So how do you feel about if your little girl has to go to the bathroom, but there's a guy, girl in there. Well. Like what draws the line? I would hope that either way, like if your son is going to the bathroom and there's some pedophile child molester that preys on boys and he has to be a guy and he's in that bathroom. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It has to do with you being a predator and a piece of shit. Sure. But that could happen for straight people just as easily as it happened for gay people,

just as easily as it happened for trans people. It's someone who's willing to prey on smaller people that are vulnerable. I wasn't even going to the pedophile. But you know what I'm saying? There's a lot of trans people that would be more than happy to be really friendly to your daughter. And use the girl's room. And it wouldn't be an issue at all. She pulls out a wiener and pees.

That's a good issue. And your daughter's like. What in the hell? Dad. Right. But what if you had a girl who became a transgender girl. And she has big tits. But she wanted to keep her dick.

Yeah. And where'd she go? She's wearing a skirt. to keep her dick. Yeah. And where did she go? She's wearing a skirt, high heels, right now, today. Where'd she go? Which bathroom shoes? I don't know. I want to say she's got the equipment. Right. She's got the equipment. Full equipment. Full equipment

for the male. For the male. Here's a perfect example. Go to Bailey J's Twitter page. I'm just saying that I think that would worry... She feels like a woman, but she was born a man. Yeah, but she has a dick. But she's as close... Bailey J is my favorite example.

I hope she doesn't mind me using her. Because she's a transgender girl that is as much a girl as you could possibly get while still having a dick. Like, see? Look at that tit. Right. That confused the fuck out of you, right? Yeah. You're like, hey, what's going on here?

Now, go to the media, her media page. Did they kill her? No, she's alive. No. Did they kill her? Do they, like, message ruin her? No, no, no. I mean, she pulls her dick out this is the thing like

she's got a giant dick so she's got these big tits and then hey there you go oh man yeah so where is she peeing you know i'm i'm cool with her going to the girls room and what yeah i mean just she's gonna probably squat it's not like she's gonna stand there with her pants down just hosing the wall, letting everybody know. So do you feel, I mean, if she went into the men's room, that would cause more of a conflict? Oh, yeah. Could you imagine? Could you imagine something like that?

So for her safety, you're saying let her go into the female? Yeah. Not just for her safety, but just like who she identifies with. Look, it's a weird thing, right? It's so weird. Because a trans person is trans. Do you go into the family room? Do you go into the family bathroom in between? That's a weird thing, right? It's so weird. Because a trans person is... Do you go into the family room? Do you go into the family bathroom in between?

That's probably the... Yeah. That's the safe bet. It's ironic. She's anti... She's not going to make a family with what there's going on. That's so confusing.

That is so confusing. How does that happen? When you're pregnant. Yeah, I mean, it's... Not yet, but maybe in our microwave. Yeah, our microwave machines. You can also have a baby. Change your gender. Change your gender.

Change your gender. That would be a way where transgender people would probably be the most happy, where they didn't have to, like, hormonally become a woman and through surgery and throughout, but instead they just actually turn you into a woman. Bam.

Microwave you. Done. Oh, you want to be a girl being? And maybe go back. Well, if that's the case, yeah, if you could go there and back, where do I sign up? Yeah. And back. Yeah.

Because I'm going. I'm going to go check this out. See what it's like for a couple of days. Yeah. A week. Go to Vegas. Yeah. Let a couple of dudes bang you.

Now that's another weird. Now it's weird. Now it's weird. Now it's weird again. Because you still have that memory when you back. Yeah. Like, hey, I can't erase this. Yeah.

I can't even tell my friends. Like, dude, I went to Vegas. I still taste it. Wow. Yeah. It's always in the back of your throat. Yeah. So that would have to be a Don't ever Giant issue

Yuck So yeah, you say you would try it But then you have to have the memory of trying it Yeah, you'd have to have the memory But you could maybe pass that you were a girl Maybe, but what if a guy's trying to fuck you You'd be like, hey, no dude, no No

But he's like, but you're a girl Would you do it random or would you think you'd do a friend of yours that you like would you give any bravo calling any i heard i heard some shit let's go not only would i do a random i would wear a mask like fucking eyes wide shut no no because you as a girl you wouldn't look like you as a girl. Right. When you over. I'd be like hotter. Hotter. Yeah.

Way attractive. I'd be really pretty. I'd have curly hair. Yeah, because God damn it. Long eyelashes. Imagine if you zapped over to the female and you were just. Right. Precious. Yeah, you're the other.

Precious. Yeah. They're like, oh, you want this? That'd be a problem. Here you go. That would be a problem. That'd be a real problem. Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck problem. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So they made you wear a rainbow shirt. Yeah, a rainbow shirt. Isn't it funny? They sold it. I had a bit about that, too, about how gay people took over the rainbow. I'm like, it's theirs.

The rainbow used to be in leprechauns. Pots of gold. Nope. Not anymore. Not anymore. They took that shit over. They own it. I don't fully understand i'm sure someone will comment on your you paid youtube change here and tell you why that uh they just took it over why why we're scared why the rainbow well it's just beautiful

everybody can fit along it's beautiful colors they're flamboyant they like a lot of colors put all those colors together like yay everyone's getting along but all of them flamboyant. They like a lot of colors. Put all those colors together. Like, yay. Everyone's getting along. But are all of them flamboyant? No. Can you say all? No, there's bears. Right? There has to be.

There's bears, yeah. Because some of the guys still like to do hunting. Guy shit. Guy shit. Butt fuck. Yeah. Fine. Nothing wrong with that.

But the words is what kills them. Yeah, that F word. Don't say it. Donald Cerrone. Please make a donation here. It's one of those words that as growing up as kids, it didn't really mean a gay person. Like Louis C.K. had a whole bit about it. That it didn't mean...

But we're supposed to evolve our vocabulary. If I call you a faggot, I don't mean it like that. I just mean it... You don't mean this is a gay person who loves men. Bitch, I don't mean you're a female dog. I don't mean it like that. I just mean, you don't mean this is a gay person. I call you a bitch. I don't mean you're a female dog. I just mean you're, it's just, it's just,

it's the same word. It's just like, bitch is like level one, but faggot is like the gold. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, listen,

we're not playing around. You said it. You, right. It really is. It's like cunt. If I call a girl at the gas, didn't hear like you fucking cunt.

Bro. That's, I went there. I went to the end. Defcon five. Yeah. But if we're in London or we're in the nomads land, Australia, and they just say, oh, you fucking cheeky cunt. Yeah. You know, they think it's funny.

Cunt, cunt, cunt. It's the word they use. Yeah. So I guess because they use it all. I mean, I don't know. I just, yeah. Words are words are words yeah words are words but it's the yeah if they're ineffective you know and also but they hurt so bad yeah some of them do you can you can kill with i mean dude especially if there's some reality to it that's the thing like i promise today we're gonna get some good ones there's gonna be some yeah but

you can't read those i'm gonna read them and i'm gonna are you why waste your time right next to him you're such a big you're living your life is this big character why why pay god i love you i love living the life i wish more people would get out there and live life joe yeah yeah i get so much shit for the like i can't believe you're not training you're out living and i said man i look at my life like i'm retired right now like why do i want to do all this cool shit when i'm 50 and i can't i could do it now right in my prime well also when people are young they do whatever they want to do and then it's like when you get old you're supposed to become more serious sure i remember when you decided to try to be more serious for a while yeah and it fucked you up fucked me up it wasn't the way limited your expression yeah

that's a good way to throw it in yeah because i think i love doing all this wild living part of who you are is having fun yeah it's like if i got here and you're like cowboy changing plans we're not doing the podcast we're going skydiving i'm like you are you speaking to my heart? We're going to do a podcast from skydiving. From skydiving. So tell me about Winkle John. What happened with Mike Perry? Why did they make you wear a rainbow shirt? Why a rainbow? What does it say on it?

It would have 30 seconds. It would be a very short podcast. Well, the UFC has to do damage control on savages which is hilarious yes they have a bunch of people like you and mike perry and you know fill in the blank all these savages running around saying crazy shit you go whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa you ever go to uh derek lewis's instagram page yeah i love it best goddamn instagram page online i love it where does he get the videos? I don't know, man.

He's got all of them. All of them. What is it? Is it the Beast MMA? Yeah. What is his? Plugging. Yeah, Beast UFC.

Derek Lewis, shout out to Derek Lewis. He's fighting Volkan. He's fighting that giant Russian dude. Tell him, Derek, let's not do the same I know your back was hurt the last fight that was the craziest fight I've ever seen in my life let's throw more than 5 punches this fight

it's almost like he was waiting Alexander Volkov the beast UFC he's got the most hilarious Instagram page and anytime there's anything fucked up it's on his he's on his, on his,

he's on it all day. That is so bad. You see the guy's shit. It is shit. Swatch and dorks. It's just so crazy that he, he puts all these in there. Where do you,

where do you get that? Yeah. All of them. This is one that he has like real recently within the last couple of weeks of this guy standing on the side of the highway. What is the girl with the boobs? Yeah, for sure. Click on that.

What's happening here? They somehow or another, the nipples aren't showing. That's amazing. Maybe they're a little higher. That's incredible control. She's taped on. Those nipples are in the wrong place. The nipples are supposed to be below those.

There should be some areola hanging out. Yeah. She's got no areola. She's an alien. Hmm. That's barely a person. Do you think aliens have beautiful girls or are they beautiful alien girls? I think they gave up on pussy.

This is what I think. Stop it. What is this guy kissing this guy for? Stop it. If you think your life is bad, these are Siamese brother. One is gay and they just got one ass. Oh, my God. Are they really gay Siamese guys?

Oh, my God. Did you hear what that just said? Is that real? If you think your life is bad, one is gay, and they have one ass. Oh, man. Those guys kissing one of them. Is that real? That's the gentle part.

Yeah. The kissing. I don't even want to know if that's real. The he has one ass part is what clears into the rest. Scroll down if you can see the accident. There's a highway video. So this is fake. Yeah, right there.

The jumping from outer space. Oh, no, that's not it. That's fake. I haven't seen that one. I haven't seen the jumping from outer space one. But there's one where a guy is standing on the side of the highway right next to a black SUV. standing on the side of the highway right next to a black SUV and someone plows into the SUV at full blast and someone else flies out of the back of the SUV flies into the air lands on their feet and starts walking come on it's fucking crazy he posts so many this is crazy how far back was it

no did they pull it where's he at with the rattlesnake? What's the date of that? What is the rattlesnake one happening? Oh, yeah. He probably got it pulled. His shit gets pulled. Does it get pulled? I guess. People find out about it. What do you mean you haven't seen the outer space jump? I haven't seen it. That ain't

it. Whoa. He crashes. Has to crash. Someone does. Yeah, I love it i love pushing the little uh uh last button on the instagram watching all the crazy videos like yeah get on a tangent and go there's so many now it's like so much fucked up there is this one no this isn't the same one he's got so many fucked up there. Is this one? No, this isn't the same one. He's got so many of these, man. Oh, Jesus. What is this? A high-speed chase?

Oh, Jesus. I'm going to wait for it. Oh, boy. I'm waiting for it. It's probably one of those videos that loop. Oh, here it is. Right here. Boom. Baboom. Tree. Baboom.

Jesus. That one wasn't as good. Yeah. The one where the guy flies out naked and starts walking on the highway is amazing. God. Maybe that's it. Hold on. Go back right there.

What is that one that looks like a bear standing up? Go back. How would that one be That looks like a bear Standing up Go back How would that one be it Is it a cat No hold on Go back to it real quick That's a cat A Roomba

Oh okay Imagine being as smooth As this cat Watch this The Roomba comes near him Touches him It's like Oh no

No no no no He, no, no. He's just used to the Roomba. That's all that is. Oh, yeah. That's what it is. Right. He's like, wow, bitch. No.

Out. Turn. And she better give the pussy for that. Better, right? They're ready to fight. That looks like two cats. Another fight. Another cat fight.

Jesus. Cowboy, it's already 3.30. What does that mean? Time flew by. God. We just did three hours. Welcome, motherfuckers.

That was awesome. Yeah, hopefully they, hopefully people don't get mad at you for your use of the F word. The equal use.

Equal use. We shared that. I used it only in reference to Time Cop. The guys at the, we shared that i used it only in reference to time cop guys it's one of those things man we're limiting limiting expression in strange ways today yeah you know and people half of it is as much about people getting mad at you and wanting to be able to to censor you or to get control of you or to be angry at you or to shut you

down or get you fired or get you to put that rainbow shirt on. Yeah. It's like half of it. Well, we're going to do, what are you going to do? So I'm going to wait two years and we're going to get more stories. We're going to come back.

Yeah. So this Mike Perry fight is when November 10th, November 10th. That's in Denver too, right? Denver, Colorado. Why don't I hear some crazy rumors about you thinking about moving back to Denver? No, I'm just moving my family up there. There's nothing really left for them in New Mexico. I'm not there with Jackson.

I'm buying a house in Denver to move. Oh, you are going to buy a house in Denver? Yeah, I'll move the wife and the kid up there and have them just fly back to the ranch and train. BMF Ranch ain't going nowhere. It's stuck. Unless the cult leader wants to hit me up, buy it. Other than that, no, it's just there.

But do you rather live in Denver? I love it, yeah. If I had my roots not been set. Right. I don't know, I'd have just gotten blindsided. No, Denver's amazing. It's one of the best mixes of like country city yeah beautiful scenery but it has every like denver has everything they're all there you know the people are very cool yeah it's

a it's a very cool city like one of my all-time favorite places to go same i agree it's one of my favorite places to go all right shout out to all the gay people hope nobody was offended hey shout out to uh everybody else bisexuals trans people with big dicks feel free to use that bathroom just leave those kids alone shout out to everybody out there just trying to be a good person yes shout out to everybody uh distributing that plant medicine i said the earth's grown yeah shout out to paul stamets that's it tennis mckenna all you Yeah. Shout out to Paul Stamets. That's it. Dennis McKenna. All you people. Shout out to young Jamie. Hey. How about that? Alright.

Well, listen, brother. I'm glad we did this, man. Thank you. Absolutely. Love you. Love you too, man. Donald Cowboy Cerrone, ladies and gentlemen. We'll be back soon. Bye.