The Joe Rogan Experience - JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub

Episode Date: January 17, 2019

Joe is joined by Brendan Schaub to discuss some upcoming fights.

record my phone calls nothing to hide yee-haw and we're live ladies and gentlemen so I get a message just like that just like that bitches I get a message from a friend of mine who says that while he was listening to the show we were talking about something and then the ads for that thing started showing up.

Yeah, it's Fong from Plasticel. He says, you guys were talking about slouching with Theo Vaughn today, and this popped up on his feed just now. I never Googled it before, and it's some fucking alarm that goes off like when you slouch forward. Have you seen those things? You glue them on you? I've been getting an ad for that, too. Oh, you have? Yeah. So maybe random coincidence it could be that or they could be targeting joe rogan listeners yeah which is what they do yeah the way it works

so they found out that we were listening no they could just be going i mean maybe that but like there's a large audience here so they could just be going after like right but do you think like what adam green she said the other day that that's happening yeah talking about he was talking about toyota trucks yeah and then all of a sudden his google ads started showing up toyota tacomas and he was like dude he goes they're listening the robots are listening someone's listening but they're also looking for like key terms and stuff like that but they're listening to your phone as you're having a conversation. You think? Yes. I have a few instances. I took screenshots because it happened three consecutive weeks.

I touched something. I literally held the object in my hand. And within 12 hours, I was getting an ad for it. Maybe you're magic, bro. It's very strange. One of them, I have a little explanation. There's some Eddie Bravo shit. I don't know, man.

They're so weird. It's like, how the fuck am I getting an ad for this thing now? I've never even seen this. I've never talked about it to anybody. I didn't tell anybody I was holding it. Yeah, you got to always be careful of like this idea, you know, because sometimes things are just a coincidence. And this idea that there's some grand conspiracy when it could be easily explained by coincidence.

But the thing that Adam said, he said, he goes, man, I never fucking googled toyota trucks is that a good uh that's pretty good not really not bad not that good a little british hey mate um but he was saying that uh they started popping up right after the podcast immediately so that's the case they had to be listening to his podcast or they're listening one of them's listening because listening because you have a large audience. Someone from there is listening to it live. Right. And then they're just like, dude, they launched those ads. Yeah, but how does it get on his Google feed?

Yeah. You think they would spoil more fucking crime and stuff if they're listening to everything? You don't make money spoiling crime, bro. Oh, come on, man. You make money selling trucks. I don't know. I mean, I feel like for sure when I Google something, it starts popping up. We know that.

But that seems normal. Oh, dude. If you go on my phone right now, because I've been looking at Dodge Vipers, anything I click on, Dodge Vipers pop up. Even on ads on Instagram. Really? Yeah. They just want one.

They're just trying to get you. Or like when I look at houses. Yeah. Certain markets pop up. It's weird. They know. They know. This motherfucker's looking to spend some money.

Yeah. Speaking of spending some money, Ford, why do you hate America? They released the new GT500 only in automatic. Oh, my God. What a shame. What a shame. Is it only500 only in automatic. Oh, my God. What a shame. What a shame. Is it only automatic? Only automatic.

I didn't know that I posted on my story because some dude was like, Shob, when you get one of these? I was like, God, that thing is dope. I posted with like a thinking face. Now that's automatic. Ain't happening. People go, well, you have a PDK GT3 RS. It's different.

Well, it's also that's the only way they make it. It's the only way they make the GT3 RS. The RS, yeah. I mean, you could get a GT3 or R. I get it. People don't want to shift. They get stuck in traffic. I get it.

But there's a lot of other cars you can get. The GT500, it used to only be stick, like the GT350. Well, you know why they're doing it because they want to compete with everyone because on the track yeah the pdks beat the best racers in the world yeah like uh my brother's telling me about this uh article he was reading where i think it was the the new gt3 rs and um or maybe it's the new gt3 because there's one in pdk there's one in stick they had one of the best race car drivers in the world driving the stick shift. Then they had some average dumbass driving the PDK, and they were going around the track,

and the PDK smoked this dude, the guy with the stick shift, smoked him. Yeah, but what are you trying to do? If you're just trying to buy a car for the track, I get it. But how many people are buying a car for the track? You're looking at him, bro. I race on the track. No, I don't. I have no idea.

I don't give a shit i i just like the feeling um and it's it's kind of lame because i have that slingshot the polar slingshot and that stick shift and that's like a tricky stick shift well that's that little tiny cage dangerous dangerous as shit but because the stick shift i like not being able to pay attention to my phone i like having to worry about all the cars around me. I like that feeling. I like the feeling of the road and the stick shift. I dig that.

I want that in a car now. Yeah. That's how my Corvette is. My little 65 Corvette, that thing's so small. Pumps some life into you, though. Oh, God. Do you drive it to the store? All the time. Yeah. It wakes you up, right? Yeah, it wakes you up. Well, it's so loud pump some life into you though oh god do you drive it to the store all the time yeah it wakes you up right yeah it wakes you up well it's so loud it's got

side pipes it's a stick shift big old hearst fucking cue ball on the top yeah yeah that's what you want that's what they used to have with the gt500 i had a gt500 way back in 2012 it was glorious big old rumbly fucking i had a convertible too hell yeah damn right it was great put the top down loud as fuck but also we get we get too comfy with the with the you know if you have your you drive your freaking m5 so cushy and everything yeah there it is that thing looks dope as shit look at the front view the see go with uh silver gt500 pull out. There's a shitload of carbon fiber in it now, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, there's a bunch of shit like the splitter and a bunch of the aero stuff.

Look at that one right there. Look at that. Oh. That looks so good. That looks so good. I love that. But it's a goddamn automatic. Like, why'd they do that?

Just to compete, man. So when you look on Motor Trend, it says- Have it as an option. I agree. I bet they'll have it as an option, yeah? Have it as an option, and then they give you a skirt when you climb into it. It said the transmission was made specifically for this car. Just to get performance out of it. That's all they want is the performance.

So they can say, hey, this competes with, you know. I would still drive that, even though it's an automatic. I would drive it as a daily driver. Yeah, I agree. 750 horsepower daily driver. 757, it says. Is that what it is? That thing's probably pretty light, yeah?

With all the carbon fiber, that thing's a fucking rocket. I don't think it's light at all. Check the weight, Jamie. I bet it's 3,900 pounds easy. Do you think it's almost 4,000? No way. Yeah, I bet it is. Does it have all the cushy shit in it?

Three seconds, 60. No. know mid three second zero to sixty yeah i bet it's uh 3900 pounds google uh g53 uh gt350r they'll have the curb weight on uh if there's a bunch of carbon fiber it's not gonna be that that carbon fiber got it pretty mostly for looks no yeah it's so strong dude yeah but it's not going to be that heavy. Nah, that carbon fiber is mostly for looks. No. Yeah. It's so strong, dude. Yeah, but it's mostly for looks. Like, it's not making it that much lighter.

3,700 pounds. And that's the most track-ready one. So this is going to be heavier than the GT350 because it has a supercharger on it. The supercharger and all that other jazz is probably about 100 pounds. So yeah, it's like 3,800 pounds 3,700 yeah for that one but that's the 350 the three the gt500 has a uh a big ass whipple supercharger on it to make it even heavier sounds so good though you ever hear a supercharger whine fuck yeah that's american power, though. They're not light. They're heavy, big-ass engines.

Well, that's the thing. That's what you want kind of. They're trying to make a muscle car a precision scalpel instrument like a 911 GT3. It's not that. It's a different thing. It's not what we're looking for. Like that white car that I have, the GT3 RS, the Shark Works car, that car is a scalpel. It's precision. It's effortless, the GT3 RS, the Shark Works car, that car is a scalpel. It's precision.

It's effortless, the way it handles and maneuvers. And it's just a different experience. But a muscle car is supposed to thrill you. It's supposed to be exciting. Yeah, it's not going to beat any fucking track times. No, you don't. Nobody will care, man. You're not trying to, I mean, what are you, Nicolas Cage and Gone in 60 Seconds?

Stop. My brother always says that. Stop. Any car, I'm like, my thing would beat the shit out of that. He's like, not on the track, though. I'm like, I'm on the 405. I don't give a fuck. What is this?

I'm not Vin Diesel. What do I look like? On the track. I know. It's so irresponsible to even be able to sell these cars. When they're selling these Corvettes, these new corvette zr1s with 757 horsepower and they they have a sub three seconds zero to 60 it's like 2.6 seconds there needs to be like an iq test for that thing even a driving test like what do you believe in flat earth you know i'm saying

like what about that what do you think of pizza gate that new tesla roadster is going to be zero to 60 in under two seconds. That's trouble because every moron that doesn't know cars is getting Tesla because it's like the new Prius is a cool thing to do. And so they get those things and they're fucking lightning rods. Lightning rods. I can't. I just, I know I'm super old school.

I can't fuck with them. I don't like them. I get in Callens. It bums me out. It's just not for me, man. I just, I don't, I like the sound super old school. I can't fuck with them. I don't like them. I get in Callan's. It bumps me out. It's just not for me, man. I just, I don't, I like the sound of an engine. I like, I don't know. I don't like, you feel like you're driving an iPod.

I don't care how fucking fast it goes. It's just, it does nothing for me. Callan goes back and forth from complaining about it to telling you how you should get one. Oh, I know. It's very strange. It depends what day you catch him. It depends which day it is. It's like he's trying to talk you how you should get one oh i know it's very strange it depends what day you catch him it depends which day it is it's like he's trying to talk you into it it's like he's so he doesn't feel alone out there he's like i love that thing i fucking love that thing the next day he's like i don't do that i think the charge i just don't know man well he goes should i get a porsche

should be like you and joe should i get a porsche i'm, should I be like you? Not for you, man. He should get something that's reliable, that he could drive around everywhere. You know, like a BMW or something. Yeah, yeah. Something simple. He should get a 5 Series. But his ego won't let him. He needs a big car.

Really? Oh, he won't get a small car, no. Why does he need a big car? You know, it's Callan, man. He likes a big car? Well, yeah, he wants to be manly. You know, he's not going to get just- Big cars are manly? For to him, it's Brian, bro.

But if he wants to be manly, why would he get a car that doesn't make any noise? Because he doesn't even think about that. He doesn't care about like dual. If you ask him what dual exhaust is, he'd be like, I have no idea. He doesn't know what dual exhaust is. No, it's fucking, he's not into that stuff you know what happened he took a chance way back in the day i want to say like 2000 fucking two or three he had a ford bronco like 1969 it was badass but really yeah yeah but it stunk it was one of them old school ones. It wasn't like an Icon one.

It was an old school one with a carburetor and shit. So you smelled gas fumes everywhere. Dude, love this. And it didn't have any doors. And it didn't have a top. Callan had this? Yep. It was dope.

Yeah. Did you give it to him? He didn't buy that. No, no, he bought it. He bought it. Yes, he did. Wow. Yeah.

He decided he was a wild man. And he was going to drive around in a... It was a stick shift. Stick shift. I'm pretty sure it was a wild man, and he was going to drive around. It was a stick shift, stick shift. I'm pretty sure it was a stick shift. Ford Bronco, early Bronco. And put his pit bull in the back. Yeah, he was like a wild man living on Venice Beach, single, single guy. Dicking down everybody in sight.

Just out there on the freak prowl. Just dropping loads all over Venice. And couldn't keep it up. I was looking up the Roadster. This is Audi's new thing that they just announced. It's called the PB18. Jesus Christ. That's an electric car?

It's going to rival the Roadster. Same speed is what they're sort of claiming. It'll go 0-60 in just under two seconds. Jesus. The car's getting too fast. Look how good it looks, though. It charges in 15 minutes. Yee.

What? Yeah. What? Yeah. How the fuck is that possible? Yeah. Because the German said, oh, Tesla, you're making cars? Very cool.

Let us try. When is this coming out? There's only going to be about 50 of them made. Fuck you. You fucking sons of bitches. Again, even that. ever made fuck you you fucking sons of bitches again even that i like it looks dope but because i'd rather have you know the r8 with a gas that is a beastly looking spaceship of a vehicle looks pretty much like it's got a seat in the center no it's got a seat in the center do you see what's going on there yeah i see yeah you get one seat i like that yeah if you got a girlfriend you tell

her to sit in the back seat and rub my neck nah kick rocks bitch get an uber meet you there this thing doesn't have a back seat you take off you can't peel rubber in those things you just go like this that thing fucking filthy though that's a dirty it's an r8 yeah i bet they're gonna come out of the gas pack all right looks just the same well apparently uh people are taking the accurate nsx and they're replacing they're they're doing something to the boost replacing the ecu so they're uh changing the the the program that they use to to you know and using the uh changing using uh aftermarket exhaust and just jacking a horsepower way that's what you do with those yeah that fucking new nsx is a beast of a car man they're cool i didn't realize how small they were

though i one pulled up to me uh the other night was like revving this engine like dude we're not doing this i don't know it's i'm 35 years old we're not doing this um and he was a grown man too this was off sunset when i was coming home from the store. Some grown men will brag about it, too. Yeah, it blew them off the line at the red light. I'm like, what are we going to do, man? I don't get this. But I didn't realize how small they were now. Yeah, they're pretty little.

The old ones are real little. That's what it looks like now. That's a deep red. I like that. Almost a garage red from Porsche. That's a good-looking car, goddammit. It's cool. Very McLaren-ish.

Yeah, a little bit. Well, they're making them spaceship-y, you know? Dude, I was in Edmonton this past weekend, freezing at the giant mall. But in the middle of the mall, there's a McLaren. And, you know, that mall is filled with kids because there's wave pools and dolphins. There's all sorts of shit there. It's the biggest mall in North America. And this poor McLaren is hurting my feelings because there's all sorts of shit there it's the biggest mall in north america and this poor mclaren is hurting my feelings because there's there's kids everywhere they

don't give a fuck about the mclaren they're yanking on the fucking side mares there's also some kid kick in the back i'm like dude what are you guys doing it's just parked in the middle yeah just as like uh you know like a showcase car don't even have a rose there all the no ropes nothing kids wiping their shitty, sticky fingers in it. Picking their nose. God. Taking Legos, just fucking etching their names in the side and shit.

I was like, come on, McLaren, you're a little pride, huh? Why would they let Tesla do some shit? Are they really selling a lot of McLarens in Edmonton? I don't know. No, it is that oil money. Starts burning a hole in your pocket. A lot of those guys up there in Alberta, they get those jobs, which are tough fucking jobs. The oil?

Oh, my God. Great. Hard work. Hard work, but big money. My friend John Rivett and his wife Jen, their son was doing it for a while. Kind of a bad business to be in, though, right? Because oil's kind of on the way out uh not up there i think it's i think it's down though i know i know it's down because the

economy there uh one of the drivers was telling me he's like yeah oil's just not what it's you know it's a fraction of the price than what it was a year ago two years ago oh really so we're taking hits from it can imagine if that was like your business and your business could just fluctuate that hard like all of a sudden up and down yeah it's just useless well because eventually it's gonna be useless probably not in our lifetime well not with assholes like us that don't want to drive electric cars i know i think about the whole time i think about it with my son like god i hope this little prick isn't just driving teslas everywhere like i want to educate him on dope ass rides but then it's fucking up the planet but also is it it is you think yeah for sure yeah so then we

should be in electric it's having an effect yeah but the question is how much of an effect how what is having the most effect there's a lot of different things that are having an effect and what's our footprint in that effect you know what i'm saying yeah it. There's a lot of different things that are having an effect. And what's our footprint in that effect? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, there's a lot. I mean, human beings, there's a lot of us, and we're definitely burning a lot of shit and putting a lot of carbon into the atmosphere,

and there's definitely an impact. Anybody who denies an impact is crazy. The real question is, how much of an impact, and can it be turned around, and how much of a bad thing is it actually? Because somewhere in the, it's in the middle of, you got your ultimate doom and gloom people that are saying that all of the city's going to be underwater, the fucking east coast's going to be underwater, the west coast's going to be underwater, everyone's fucked.

And then you got the other people that say, no, we're just going to be able to move it in northern canada jesus christ the people that think that you could just we're just gonna have up there beautiful spots in antarctica yeah i don't know probably somewhere in the middle huh it's somewhere in the middle somewhere in the middle i'm a middle guy the the real uh optimists think that we're going to be able to take some of the carbon out of the atmosphere and the way they're going to be able to do it they actually invented this giant machine that looks like a building it's like a building size machine that's like a huge air filter that just sucks carbon out of the air i think they did it sense i think it's a chinese thing i think they

they're they're installing them somewhere in china because you know like when the athletes were in beijing for the uh olympics they said the air oh my god the air quality was like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day dude you don't realize how important air quality is till when those fires i was doing shows in sacramento i didn't even think of it i p and fans were uh dm me going dude are you gonna cancel please don't cancel i'm like why are you going to cancel? Please don't cancel. I'm like, why the fuck would I cancel? No, I don't cancel shows. I'll see you soon, man.

Then I fly in and I was like, oh, shit. You couldn't see a foot in front of your face. It was all smoke. You sent me a picture from your hotel room. And I was like, is there a fire in your room? Dude, I've never seen anything like it. And I did not feel good. I was sick the whole time there. I was doing was lightheaded everyone had masks on like asians at airports

everybody except for me and my brother and guess what we couldn't get any masks because they're all sold out do they help the masks i think so they filter some of it but i didn't realize how big of a deal it was till i went up there. I'm like, holy shit, man. This is serious. Those fires were so big. I mean, the fires down here were big, but nothing compared to the Northern California fires. Because the area of Northern California that got lit up was like woods. Like huge, huge wooded areas. I mean, the whole town was just, it's not there anymore.

Was it paradise? Yeah. Done. Game over. There's no town left done game over there's no not there left nothing nothing's nothing the whole town burned down pretty sure go to that pull up paradisecalifornia.com is that uh is that a place that white website just down now yeah do you see they fired the freaking uh some of the firefighters and like uh relief people because they were taking pictures like not even mock. And I don't think they should have been fired because it was like all burnt down house.

And then there's like, I don't know, like a wooden horse. And then like firefighters like on the wooden horse, like, oh, you're mocking the people lost their homes. They lost their jobs. That's crazy. Come on, man. These guys are fighting for their life out there. They have nothing to do with it. Not only that,

the, the, the horse is there. It's like, what do you give a shit? Why, why the, the house is burnt to the ground. You really think it's that in that poor taste for these poor guys who risked their lives to save people's houses to have a good time.

Whoa, is that real? This is crazy. They should have made it out of those trees. Those trees are still standing. Those trees are pretty gangster. Yeah, like what's going on? Like at a certain point in time, we're going to have to make fireproof houses.

Don't you think? Does that exist? Yes. Make them out of cinder block. Or you got to do what Kanye did and just have your own freaking fire department just surround your house just in case. That's a good move. In my neighborhood, there's a house that burnt to the ground. I put pictures of it up on my Instagram.

There's a car in the driveway. But the – Jesus Christ. Whoa, this picture is terrifying. Oh, dude, you're talking Armageddon style. This picture is terrifying. What we're looking at is rows of houses that are gone. It looks like it goes for – An entire it's an entire neighborhood lights like a mile and just there's

nothing left everything's burnt to the ground but it's amazing those trees are still standing look at those trees they're i mean they're torched but yeah they're there yeah but it's weird black as fuck isn't it weird wouldn't you expect the trees to be burnt to a crisp? Yeah, they're so thick. The other thing is, where did I fly? Oh, coming from Edmond, I flew down, so from north to south. And when you go over Malibu and Woodland Hills and where you live, when you see all that, it's insane from a bird's eye view. You can just see all the black when you're flying into LA. Well, I flew over Malibu with Burr in a helicopter, so we got real low. It's crazy.

Crazy? Look at this. McDonald's burnt to the ground. That's crazy. You know that motherfucker burned. Cheeseburgers or gasoline. Look at that. That bridge burnt.

How the fuck does a bridge burn down to steel? No, it's wooden. Oh, was it a wooden bridge? Look at this. Like the whole, everything's gone. So is that the case that the whole town is evaporated? Paradise is gone. Yeah, pretty sure paradise is no bueno.

What the fuck do those people do now? You don't rebuild, right? You're like, whoa. Jesus Christ. And then also a lot of it, and this is just from my own experience down here, looking at homes in areas where there's chances of fire that were caused by fires, banks won't give you the loan or you have to put a higher, almost all cash payment down. Really?

And also the house insurance on a fire area, they're not going to do it these days. But what are they going to do with a place like Malibu? Because Malibu got hit harder than anything. They lost 600 plus houses. I don't know if that's true. I know they said they lost like 1,500 structures, but someone told me that 600 of those were houses. And if you're talking about Malibu,

like when Burr and I were flying around the coastline over by Point Doom, you know, those beautiful... Zuma Beach there? Is that right? James Beach area? Well, is that where Zuma Beach... James Beach area? I don't know. It's the cliffs.

I don't know what you're talking about, though. Woosley Fire, worst fire to hit Malibu, with home losses topping $1.6 billion. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-billion. I feel like we don't hear about it. 620 structures destroyed. I feel like we don't hear about it so much, because I think people assume everyone in Malibu has money. Yes. They're higher tax brackets so like they'll figure it out it's still super fucked up man well i have um friends that don't have a lot of money but they build houses and

one of them one of the houses they were living in and the other house they were building and they all the both houses got torched 400 single family houses with an estimated market value of $1.6 billion. So 670 structures, 400 of them were houses. That's horrible, man. It's weird to fly over, man, when you fly over it. Because with the helicopter, Burr was pretty close. Yeah, we were right above it and circling, just outside, right over the ocean. And as you're doing it, flying over the ocean, you're looking at these compounds.

They're probably $50 million houses. I mean, these fucking massive compounds burnt to the ground. Gone. Not a goddamn thing they could do about it. How good of a pilot is Burr? Terrible. We almost died three times. Jesus Christ.

No, he's great. Is he? Yeah, he's great. He's really good at it. He's been doing it for a while. When I saw that picture, I'm like, oh, fuck, man. I trust that guy 100%. If he told me that he was going to take me up in a helicopter, he knows how to do it.

Yeah. It was a good time, man. We had fun. We had a lot of laughs. Is it fun? So much fun. You're up in a helicopter with one of the greatest comedians that ever lived. Yeah.

We're having a good fucking time. We're howling me and him he's hilarious and we're talking through headphones because it's like so you got a little little fucking like commando or some shit oh yeah that's sick microphone in the corner i don't helicopter scare me man it was a good time yeah i saw that scared the fuck out of me it's weird how close you can get to downtown la like you're not there's no real restrictions you just fly right next to the building so i'm like this is okay because it's a helicopter yeah yeah that was us right there yeah we just flying around i mean we were just flying right next to these buildings and we were the height of the buildings and all those big buildings see those flat spots and all those

buildings those are all helicopter pads landing pads huh yeah and some of them are real narrow and bill was like i wouldn't want to land on that fucking thing on a windy day and i'm like oh my god i didn't even think about hold up it was just you and bird there's no there was there a third guy like there's a third guy yeah the third guy was a um. He's the guy that teaches Bill. Oh, gotcha. But Bill can fly solo. He has a license to fly solo. He flies a lot, right?

Yeah, he flies. God, I'm just not into that. I think it would be awesome to get up there and do that. It's just not. Pros and cons, man. Pros, you fly around a little bit, get real high. Con, die. Yeah, but it seemed pretty controlled.

It really does. But there's no room for error. You know what I'm saying? Unless you're Harrison Ford. Remember he crashed in Santa Monica? He crashed a plane. Straight up plane, yeah. Yeah.

Helicopter. He crashed in Santa Monica? Yeah. Where'd he crash? I forget. Look that up, Jamie. He flew out of Santa Monica Airport and then was like, ah, fuck, and went down because he's so high all the time, I hear.

Is he really? Oh, dude, he smokes like fucking Cheech and Chong, bro. Really? You think he smokes weed? Harrison Ford? Harrison Ford blazes it up. I think when you get that famous, you probably just want to be high all the time because life is a dream anyway.

You're just like- I just think there's nothing else to do and he's just like, don't know man it's han solo that doesn't keep you busy 30 years ago we just did one a couple years ago he had a cameo in it he wasn't like the main guy that's why people were pissed right he got murked did he i'm not a star wars guy spoiler alert dude that came out forever ago yeah it's no spoiler alert there is for everything there's a spoiler alert now. Oh, dude. People are seeing Game of Thrones now for the first time.

There's dragons, assholes. It's like with that Dannemora escape. You've seen it on Showtime? No. It's about those. You know those two guys? Harrison Ford saved several lives by landing plane on golf course. Yeah, you know, what the fuck does that mean?

Scroll down. What kind of fucking World War II plane? There you go. Fucking Han Solo, Indiana Jones. You know what? Just walked away and went, fuck this noise. Looking where he crashed and how the plane went down, I'm sure there was a moment where he said,

I'm not going to risk lives. Whatever happens, happens. It's going to be just me. 72-year-old actor suffered moderate injuries after crashing the vehicle the vintage two-seater oh he's flying a fucking old plane a vintage plane that he was piloting on the green uh on the golf course thursday afternoon he had lacerations to his face and possible fractures television news footage taken showed him on a stretcher being taken into an ambulance.

Dude. He risked life and limb by putting it down on the golf course instead of trying to go further, try to get back to the airport. Notice how Harrison Ford, he's not quoted anything. He didn't give a fuck. How about we were on the Fox lot, Brian and I were when we worked for Fox, and this Tesla pulls in and it's all tinted windows and it rolled down the window. It's Harrison Ford. And I go, I tell Brian, oh shit, that's fucking Indiana Jones,

like joking around. And Brian, I didn't know how big of a Harrison Ford fan is. Brian gets super, I've never seen him like this, gets super nervous. And Harrison looks at him, Brian goes like this, gives him a peace sign.

I've never seen a grown man give another grown man a peace sign. Harrison Ford just looks at him and just goes, just fucking doesn't even acknowledge the peace sign i've never seen a grown man give another grown man a peace sign here's some forest like seven just goes just fucking doesn't even acknowledge the peace line just keeps on going i go bro you just gave deuces to fucking indiana jones i would do that it was so great here's some four didn't give up i give peace sign to people what are we what is that alien like we come in peace you go like this i'll do that? Alien? We come in peace? You go like this? I'll do that.

You know what? I do that. Feels good. I do like this. That's three fingers. Well, no, this is kind of like, yo, like not a wave. Not this. But this.

This is kind of halt. This is I'm reaching for you. I'm reaching for you. And then if you go too high, it's the hail Hitler. You don't want that. So you go here. I gotta tell you, man. Now I'm thinking I give peace signs to people all the time. You do this? All the time. Like a 14-year-old

Korean teenager girl? Yep, exactly. 13. 13-year-old teenager girl. Peace out. Nothing wrong with that. My kids do the peace sign all the time, but they do sideways. Like this? They'll take pictures. They go like this. That's cute. Lips out, though. They'll do like this hand forward, this

hand backward. Like this? Yes. You know, they do like this. Yes. Well, that's what Brian did to Harrison Ford. Look at that picture right there. That's me, bro. But imagine running up to Harrison Ford and doing that. Freak them the fuck out.

I would do it. And he's high off his ass. Right. Yeah. He's driving that fucking electric dune buggy. It was great, man. Yeah. He's, um, I wonder what he does with his spare time

other than fly planes. Like, when you make that much money and you're that famous and then you just sit around, what do you do? I don't know, but there's certain guys at that level, right? Like, he's so famous.

He's a whole nother level. But I was thinking about last night when Dave Chappelle walked in and it was like, you know, you're around, Burr's around, there's some of the greatest comics in the world. Then when Dave Chappelle walks in, I wonder if it's weird for him because I can feel the room, like everyone just stares at him.

And then he was in the OR and I was in there before he went on and there's, I mean, there wasn't a seat. I mean, people are in the hallways. Just watch him do his thing. And he's just, he was up there, I don't know, an hour, two hours, just not really doing a set, just feeling it out. I went, man, that must be weird where he's at in life that he just goes up there and it's like everything shuts down for him as a comic. Like he's not working out, right? You know what I'm saying? No, he's definitely working out.

No, that's what I mean. That's how he works out. Correct. But it's different than somebody else. All eyes are on him all the time, nonstop. So even him working out, it's funny as fuck. Well, he handles it remarkably well. The way he's just around people.

Even though he's super duper ridiculous famous, he handles it like he's not. He wanders through. But man man when people start grabbing at him and wanting pictures and shit it's so embarrassing oh they just they won't let him talk to people like say if you're talking to them they don't care if you're in locked in a conversation about your mom's cancer they don't care they just yo bro can i get a picture dave they freak out they freak out. Picture? They freak out. They're just like, this is my time to dress up my Facebook page.

And they get there with that camera. For the likes. They move in on him like a fucking hawk. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. People don't respect another person having a conversation. They don't wait. No one sits around and waits.

It's like in their head, if they don't grab him right now, they're never going to get that picture. So it doesn't matter who he's talking to. I've seen it too. I was talking to The Rock once, and this dude literally slid in between us and held his phone up to The Rock. Slid in between us. Just didn't ask. he was taking the picture

as he was asking he's came in to take a picture with you and just like in between us like i'm talking about hey what's up man did you have a good time and then this guy slides in he's got the camera up like no thought whatsoever for people's space and what did the rock do he's probably used to it by now swallowed he's like jesus christ handled it like a man it's just such a bummer man it is because there's a certain point of fame with chapelle the rock yeah you're probably pretty fucking close to that where you can't even go through the airport like i have to go through the airport one time with tim tebow um right i think right right after he won like this hugeoff game. Does he get on a knee before he gets in the plane? No.

He assumes Jesus is taking care of him. Oh. Yeah, Jesus take the wheel. And I knew I was safe as fuck next to him, so I didn't give a fuck. So going through the airport with him, and I felt bad for him. I mean, you're talking, he can't get anywhere.

He was just like this mob. Dude, this is exhausting. Exhausting. There has to be a certain level where that's just not cool, man. Well, what changed was phones, cameras on phones, and then social media because everybody wants a picture. Whereas before, I guess people would just want autographs and no one had a camera with them. Yeah. Now the autograph is the selfie. Yeah. There's just want autographs and no one had a camera with them. Yeah. Now the autograph is the selfie.

Yeah. There's no more autographs. There might be a few that had a show all along, but when's the last time literally someone came up to you and asked for an autograph? The other day, but it's like 100 to 1. Pictures to selfies. It's all selfies. Yeah, it's all selfies. Yeah.

It's weird. It's strange. But this is the life we chose. This is a weird world we live in. Well, take it easy. I'm not Tim Tebow and freaking Joe Rogan. You can walk through an airport. You get bombed on.

Yeah, I can walk through an airport. It gets weird, but I can do it. But like Chappelle, it'd be tough. Yeah, well, Tom Cruise. That motherfucker can't walk through an airport. Yeah, but you're Tom Cruise. You got Tom Cruise money. You're going private.

Yeah. LAX, he laughs. He laughs like that's the best joke he's heard like you bring up lax or tom cruise what the fuck come on bro well we flew over his jet when we were with burr yeah yeah the van nuys airport flew over the tom cruise experience i feel like he autographs his jet does have like his signature i think his jet has a button he can press and then it's all covered in screens And it turns into the clouds behind it and comes in the Wonder Woman makes sense. It's fucking Tom Cruise man But don't you think that guy has probably a lot of expenses? I always assume that a guy like that not only do they have a lot of money But they burn through a lot of money so they have to keep making a lot of money is that true though or are we assuming everyone's johnny depp and has 19 houses and buying old pirate ships for 30 billion dollars

you know i'm saying and they're just making horrible life decisions like that's the same thing with with like athletes or even comics or entertainers like if i post something let's say i post my car somebody that like good luck bro in three years when you go broke i'm like no i know the bad stories i get that man i'm a smart dude like i i think i've made it this far you can't listen to those people they just hope you're going broke no but it's there's that stigma of like the 30 for 30 espn broke it's like not that's not everyone's like that man i hate to tell you not all entertainers are are fucking rappers where we're just blowing through money it doesn't work like that i'm in a business where it's not you know it's not just like you know it's it's not the ufc where your average career is a year and a half or two years you know well once you get into the world of podcasting

podcasting is a weird thing right it's like what are we doing we're just talking you know this is what our our art form is shit people already do you know yeah that's weird if you think about it it's very weird you know there's no other art form where everybody does it yeah everyone does everybody does it not everybody paints no but when's the last time you painted well i painted with my son right on your own when's the last time you went down to michael's never never because i don't suck dick i can't i'm not i can't paint bro a lot of painters that don't suck dick you son you'd be surprised but there are it's but i'm talking about like a like taking time out of my day to paint a flower heterosexual male painters that admire you that are listening to this right i love you guys man pay me something cool bro their paintbrush in their hand right now and they're

like fuck this guy i'm gonna paint shop with a big old dick in his mouth. Do it. Yeah, I don't know, man. With podcasts, it's weird, but it's also the gateway to an unfiltered medium where before with TV and movies and stuff like, you know, with like name any big guy who's who i'm trying to think of a like dack shepherd right he's a he's an actor he's an actor and he has a podcast well if you just watch his movies you don't know shit about him right he's playing a character but you can go on his podcast you listen talk like oh fuck we're into a lot of the same things oh damn he's struggling with his wife god i have the same issues oh damn he's struggling with kids. And then you find out we're all the exact same.

But you'd never get that if there weren't podcasts. You wouldn't. You're not going to get that off an ESPN interview, off a 30 for 30. You're not going to get any of that ever. That's why podcasting has taken over, I think. Well, it's also because no one can tell you what to do. You can have conversations and no one can steer. There's no executives going to come in and stop you.

If you fuck up, it's your fuck up. And then if you apologize, it's an apology that you make yourself. You don't feel good about what you did. You express remorse. Which I do all the time. You have to. That's the way to go, though. I talk a lot of shit.

I don't want to say shit. I go and then then i'll think about something like with novitsky right i like jeff novitsky i really like him met him the one time met him he's great dude we had a joke about it uh the nickname the golden snitch like good dude look right there right next to you oh is this the shirt yeah oh dude thank you i will rock the shit out of that look Look at that. That's pretty dope. Hold that up for the camera. It's pretty dope.

For sure, let me or Joe design your shirts. That's a good shirt. It's a decent shirt. I like it a lot. Yeah, it's cool. But with him, I go off on something. And then when I talk to you about it, I'm like, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. To me, it's a game.

like i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings it's just like to me it's a it's a it's a game right you know and then but when you think about like he he might have to deal with it in the office people like dude her shop this or gets dm this or you know i'm like i don't want that it's the last thing i want well you just you made an error in that you thought that he worked for usada and he'd never worked for usada he worked for the uf. You said he worked for the USADA and now he works for the UFC, but he never really worked for USADA. He worked for the government. He worked very closely with USADA. He worked for the UFC.

He worked for the UFC and he brought USADA in. He works for the UFC now. No, he coordinated the UFC's meeting with USADA and he put it all together. He's the vice president of US, of athletes safety, health and safety, is that what it is? Something like that. For the UFC now now that's what he's always had no that's not true before that he worked for the government yes but he's worked

hand in hand with USADA not as an not as an employee right but he never worked for USADA no he's never worked for USADA I think he went from I think he was working for the IRS pretty sure yeah my point was yeah he's not he's never got a i don't know if he's ever got a check from usada but he's been in cahoots with him they work hand in hand fda fda

that's it yeah that's when he's good at his job lance armstrong right yeah every time i talk to novitsky i get text messages from lance arm i'm sure it makes sense though right he's so salty why wouldn't you be i mean you kidding me bro i i see why he would be salty but i also he has to accept i think that he did some things that he shouldn't have done and i'm not even just talking about the steroids i'm talking about suing the people that came out and said that he took the steroids that's where he's fucked up that's where because he's fucked up. Because just doing PEDs and cycling, I don't give a fuck. Do it, bro, and you're the best at it. He still would have been the best of the level playing field.

I think so, too. But where he fucked up is he was mean and bullied the people that were trying to snitch on him, or if they weren't into the PEDs, or if they were going to tell on him, he kind of fucked them over. That's where it gets dark, and that's where people hate him. So I get that. But in his defense, and this is a shaky defense, they went after those people to get to him. They went after those people and they broke those people down.

They made those people rat on him. And then he was threatening them with lawsuits sort of to protect himself. But even before that, right he there's a little bit of a bully culture coming from him which is why every competitor he's a mean guy you know a lot of like most people are yeah you're right you're right about that i was just talking about this the other day and in this tj dill shaw's a great guy and he fights saturday um great guy but he's mean correct great guy great guy but if you say hey tj if you knock him out with a head kick his family won't eat tonight in order for you to win this fight he's gonna knock you out

with a head kick he's the most ultra competitive guy in the world and it shows in training shows in practice i mean he's a nasty motherfucker do you know he weighs 135 pounds right now oh yeah he's ready to go but he got his body down to 135 pounds before the weight cut. It's crazy. He looks so thin. Freak. I saw him on ESPN last night and they were discussing he might fight Max or he wants

to fight Max next. That's a tough one. He wants to fight 145 after this but that's a 20 pound jump in weight. And Max is a giant 45er. That's a bad idea but you never know with TJ. Hey, who knows? I mean, if he can get his body up to 165. Dude, have you seen Henry Cejudo, though?

Jacked. Pico on picos. Just kidding. He's going to clear the test. I'm just joking around. He looks like he's pulsing. Yeah, he might not make weight. He's Jack City, bro.

Yeah, I don't know if he's going to make the weight. I bet he makes it. I bet he makes it, too. He's missed a bunch of times. Henry Cejudo? Yes. At 125? Yes.

That's why they made him fight at 135 for a while. Trust me. Not a... Well, you do know your shit. A bunch, though? More than once. Yeah. That's a problem.

Look at him. Looks pretty stacked. Good looking kid. He's a thick dude. He's a short look at him looks pretty stacked good looking he's a thick dude he's a short dude isn't he he's probably walking around at more than 45 i would say he's more than 40. dude he's so short i don't know yeah i still think he's more than 100 dude that's a tough life if you're that short and you're not an Olympic champion. Right? I was looking at him the other day in a video. I'm like, God damn, he's tiny.

What is he, 5'2"? 5'2", 5'3". I'm only five inches away from that. I'm barely able to cut. Five inches? That's a lifetime, bro, for those. Five inches? You know how much money they would pay to have five inches? They do pay.

Do you ever see what they do? Oh, my God. They stretch your bones. Where they break them and then extend them? Dude, you know how crazy you have to be to get your shins extended? They cut your shins. They saw into you. And then they put this metal brace all around you, like a halo brace.

And then you crank it a little bit every day. Click, click, click. And for what? Click, click, click. Because you have a- Get a couple inches taller. Come on, bro. For what?

So it's an ego thing? No, so you can get laid. I was watching this documentary on Chinese guys. This guy was like, he had these braces on his leg, and he's like, my girlfriend, she wouldn't marry me because I'm too short, but I'm going to come to her, and I'm going to be over five feet tall for the first time. He's under five feet tall. Get another girl.

Fuck that hoe. It's hard to get a girl when you're four nine the biggest problem is if you have a short dick yeah but the biggest problem is if you're four nine they don't want to see your dick oh jesus look at this guy he went from what did it say he gained six inches five six to six foot okay let me see this oh god he's a thickie on the left he gained six inches yeah from stretching his fucking Okay, let me see this. Oh, God. He's a thickie on the left. He gained six inches? Yeah. From stretching his fucking bones out?

Let me see what it says there. How unhappy do you have to be with your body to do that? Go up there. Nip, tuck, grow. Five foot, six inch man underwent astonishing leg lengthening procedure because he wanted to be six foot tall. Oh, he started at five, six, and he got up to six feet tall? Jesus.

But how fucking damaging is that? Let me see. The procedure in which both legs are broken, then slowly stretched, bears more than a little resemblance to medieval torture. Let me see what this fucking guy did to his body. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That has to be some mental health issue yeah a little bit

the trend well maybe if you wanted to really play football the trend for ling ling limb lengthening surgery swept china where minimum heights are often quoted on personal adverts and job advertisements as the country opened up to the west a decade ago look at that fucking thing on his leg man oh my god so his what we're looking at here it looks like they they cut an inch out of his bone but then they have this bar that runs through it so that's his femur man dude that's a terrible leg bone that's not even his shin how do you think he's gonna feel when he's 70 that can't be good oh my god for what to be five inches taller dude get a skill you know what chicks dig over height skill man get funny

get a fucking 650 leg lengthening procedures in west palm beach florida not all to remedy deformity some of them to remedy deformity such makes sense there's some now how long do you think it takes for them to fucking recover from something like that? A lifetime. Oh, they have height dysphoria. So it's sort of like anorexia with their height. It's a mental disorder. Oh.

It's one of the few psychiatric disorders that you can actually cure with the knife, says the surgeon. Oof. Yeah, says the surgeon trying to sell this bullshit. What if a doctor uses the term knife are you really using a knife bro don't you have a scalpel i'm probably not going to that guy what i can cure with the saw it costs 85 grand look what it says he does here it's surgery is not for the faint-hearted the leg bone is broken into the doctor then implants a state-of-the-art telescopic rod into the cartilage of the bone which then pulls it apart

very gradually one millimeter a day new living bone grows along it to fill the gap and muscles oh and nerves the arteries the skin also renew themselves the cost is prohibitive eighty five thousand dollars takes at least three months to complete. Grueling physical therapy is essential. Look at that one. Look at the gap in his fucking leg. Look how big that gap is. You ain't playing any sports. Man, he's just walking up to that guy and leg kicking him.

Yeah, I was just thinking that. Imagine if he decides to do Muay Thai. I bet you where your leg is vulnerable has changed. Right? Dude, if your girl's geometry of your leg is like if you if your leg is a certain like if your bones are a certain width i would imagine there's like a like it all makes sense pretty much in terms of like mathematics like how long your knee is or how long your femur is it would be a certain thickness but then if you spread it out

it's like the thickness of a shorter one but now it's long it's probably more vulnerable safe like stilt the make me taller community i just found oh my god introduction to leg lengthening and frequently asked questions holy shit there's only 30 posts though dude well that's just that's just FAQ this one's got 300 posts this is 3000 posts down here patient diaries

not a ton though of uh what they've gone through how weird I'd be more worried about lengthening my dick if I was those guys is there a lengthening

dick community fuck yeah you know what they do they're all Asian they hang weights on how dare you what racist

no it's life there's gotta be some Asians with giant hogs out there I feel like we know about it They're all Asians. They hang weights on. How dare you? What? Racist. No, it's life. There's got to be some Asians with giant hogs out there. I feel like we'd know about it, right? Because that guy would be flaunting his shit. Make me longer community then? Yeah, make me a bigger cock community. Because there's procedures you can do to cut it, right? Just Google, how do I get a bigger cock?

You're going to get a virus, bro. You're going to get a virus. Every porn site. get a bigger cock so that's the thing you get a virus every porn site there's the pumps there's a pump the thing is you like if you everybody if it was something that really worked everybody would know about it yeah fuck yeah there would you want any room you walked in with a bunch of dudes like dude you see that new fucking device get your dick bigger. Everybody wants it. See, devices and dicks, those two words don't go together. Like a device, I think of them like clamps and screws. Do you ever seen a penis pump?

Like from Austin Powers? I've seen one. I've never seen one in person like being used, like with a blown up dick inside of it. I've never seen it being used, but I've seen one in person. And it's very, I mean mean it's intense dude i've heard that some guys like especially old fellas they use one of them penis pumps to just get hard-ons oh yeah that but it's attached to them no they they have that too like that was in liberace in the um candelabra oh i love that movie that'd be so good when he was banging matt damon 24 7

matt damon was like how do you stay hard? Oh, that's right. Got an implant. That's right. Yeah. Dude, that movie's so good. That's a crazy movie, man. That'd be a weird movie to make if you're Matt Damon. Because they're like, he talks about it too.

There's a scene where, spoiler alert, there's a scene where he's in a Speedo and Michael Douglas is just laying down in the pool and he straddles him and just full on, ah, ah. Matt Damon's straight as shit. He's playing a character that'd be tough though like if hollywood came to me was like brennan we need you to play the new batman but you gotta go at it with the joker mouth to mouth like you guys are there he is in the movie yeah you'd be like yeah be a little bit of a struggle that's a hard pass yeah but can't what what you say? Do you think you could live in Las Vegas like that? Do you think you could do a residency in Las Vegas? No.

Like, what if they offered you the big brown boom boom room? The big brown boom boom room? Like a fucking, what is it? Like Mandalay Bay? Like Jay Leno type of shit? Yeah. For getting $30 million a year? Yeah, something crazy like that.

Like a Britney Spears type deal. I don't think so. And this is different for me. I have such a stressful connotation when it comes to Vegas because of fighting. Whenever I think of Vegas, I think of stress, stress, stress. So as soon as I land in Vegas, I get all introverted and I start sweating. It's just not – I've done so much work there. Because you think about the times you fought there.

Well, I was on the ultimate fighter there for eight weeks. I've had some huge fights there. So for me, when I think of Vegas, I think of stressful, dark care. So it'd be tough for me to live there for – it'd be really tough. Those people who do residency for like two years, could you do it? I don't know um i don't think i could well i think the thing about vegas is you got to not live in vegas like you don't want to have like a a suite yeah in mandalay bay or something like that

i think the move is to live in like henderson or something like that like by red rocks yeah or yeah one of those places and you just drive in i think that's the move is to live in Henderson or something like that. Like by Red Rocks? Yeah, or one of those places. And you just drive in. I think that's the move. Because then you're just living in a town. Not even a big town. See, I would say fuck all that noise. And I'd probably, if they offered me $30 million, I'd probably hire a Bill Burr fucking helicopter pilot type of dude.

And I'd live in LA and just fly out there on Fridays. I think it's a long flight. No. A helicopter? Doesn't Tosh do something like that? Or he used to it when he was going there? He would just fly in Friday night on a plane, that 25-minute flight it is.

Well, was he doing that a lot? I think so. Yeah, he was for a while. Friday, Saturday or something like that. They might stay the night, but they'd be back within 36 hours or something like that. I cannot live there, man. There's no way.

Just because of your past experience. That and just in general, it's just not for me. It's not my type of living. Because Ralphie May had a residency there for a while. He was doing it, but that's where he died. I know Eddie Griffin has a residency.

Dice had a residency there for a while. Seinfeld did too. I think he still does. Seinfeld in Vegas? Yeah. Really? Yeah. There's a lot of great stuff there, right?

What do you like to do? Do you like to go to restaurants? Great restaurants. What do you like to do? Do you like to go to the movie theater? There's plenty of movies. Great shows. Yeah, there's plenty of gyms.

Amazing places to work out. There's a lot of stuff there i just i don't know man i know i know what that's what i'm saying it's like sweating talking about i don't know what it is i just vegas i have some great friends who live in vegas and some of the best people i know live in vegas some of the best people i know work in the night clubs you know you know what we need to do we need to sit down before big events and make a youtube video where we're just breaking down each event like fight by fight as it comes up i think people would really enjoy that you and me breaking down the the big fight yeah breaking down big events you know good idea

like if if i didn't work for the ufc i would love to go there and just cover the weigh-ins as a spectator. But as unfiltered, no production, you and me just talking shit. Yeah, yes. Yes. I don't like doing the weigh-ins. It's stressful. I try to pronounce people's names. Piotr Jan.

Like, what? There couldn't be a worse job for me if you asked me to pronounce everyone's names correctly. Some of these Russian cats, their names are off the charts. And it starts with a G and a Z, but you got to use a Y. Not for me. You got to say it like a Y. You're like, what?

Not for me. What is the name? Yeah, I have to write it out phonetically. How much longer do you think you'd do that? I don't know. Just between me and you, no one's listening. No one's listening. I don't know.

I do enjoy it, though. Have you ever thought about it? Yes, all the time. Really? But why? I cut way back. Because first of all, I was doing too many of them. At one point in time, I was doing 24 a year.

It was way too many. It was like half the year. I was half the weekends in the year, I was flying somewhere to go to the UFC. But that's when you did international as well. Yeah, it was too much. flying somewhere to go to the ufc but that's when you did international as well yeah it was too much and that was before the ufc really um they started adding a bunch of people yeah and it took a lot of the weight off of me yeah i'm sad they got rid of jimmy smith i think jimmy smith's really good i think he's really good but sometimes it's just not a fit like i didn't see i didn't find him and

maybe he didn't get his fair shot i think he's one of the best commentators in the world but it never felt right maybe because he wasn't he didn't get to do it enough he's brilliant at his job but there was that i just didn't it never felt right to me it was like watching joe montana play for the chiefs well i'm selfish he's my friend i was happy he was there i think he's really good i love jimmy i'm not saying i think he's great i think he's gonna go on whoever finds him can be lucky but it never like the writing was on the wall because you would see dc who's amazing i see paul felder who's amazing at dominic cruz yeah michael bisbing it's like well of course jimmy's not gonna have a job like they're gonna use the in-house guys that's what's the direction they're going. Yeah. I guess so.

I wonder if he could do play-by-play, you know, like the ones that Anik doesn't want to do. Anik does all the – hey, Anik, go home to your kids. Don't you have like seven daughters? Dude, go home to your fucking kids. John knows I love them, but I see them at Brazil and then post like two days like two days of sleep, been on the road 19 days in a row. I'm like, dude, go home, bro. You can't. He's the best.

He's really good. There's not a better commentating team in the history of combat sports when it's you, DC, and John Anik. That's the best. It's fun. It's a fun one, too. DC is himself, and he's one of the best fighters of all time. John Anik's very fucking good. He's a brilliant dude, too. DC's himself, and he's one of the best fighters of all time. John Eddick's very fucking good. He's a brilliant dude, and then you do your thing, and that's...

DC's so loose, too. He makes it silly. He's a special dude. Like when Rose knocked out Ioanni and Jay Chak, he's like, thug Rose! That's what you want. Thug Rose! You can't pay for that. No.

That's natural. Yeah. You either got it or you don't, can't pay for that that's that's natural that's yeah no you either got it you don't and he has it yeah that's his future man yeah that's his future yeah well that's why everybody kind of wants him to retire you know that's why i think his family's kind of pushing for him to retire and i talk crazy bob cook he's like i'd be happy if he retired right now i and i don't think the ufc is going to let him retire without facing Jon Jones, the heavyweight division. He certainly can retire if he decides to. Mm-mm.

Not happening. You don't think so? Nope. They're going to throw that big one. Because when you sit down and you sit down and make a deal with the devil and they're like, yeah, you're thinking about retiring? Very cool. Here's the thing.

We're going to pay you this much to fight this monster. They're going to get out that pen and go, and they're going to push that piece of paper across. Dan's going to go through my return. Just do me a favor. Just look at this. Look at that number. We're at Strip Steakhouse in Vegas. We're talking about 2 million pay-per-view buys,

and this is what you would get. Set for life. He's probably set for life already. I don't think so. He made $4 million with Derek Lewis. Yeah, you're not set. I don't think you're set for life already. I don't think so. He made $4 million with Derek Lewis. Yeah, you're not set. I don't think you're set with $4 million. Who knows how much he made for Stipe?

Who knows how much he made? Let's say after taxes, $10 million in the bank. Is that set? Not where you live. Look at that gold watch. Get out of here. You wear a gold watch, bro. bro dude that's not that crazy louis ck has a joke in his uh his newest set about buying a gold watch what's he say just i'll

let you listen to it me and him couldn't be more opposite yeah yeah you got a gold watch gold watch dog it's a gold rolex it's a fucking gold rolex man yeah see that's what i'm saying 10 million dollars isn't gonna last for you rolex man yeah see that's what i'm saying 10 million dollars isn't gonna last for you youtube no 10 million would last for you i'm not that crazy everyone thinks i'm crazy how long would it last for the rest of your life 10 million i'd be set with my investment stuff like that by property i'd be i'd be panicking and count well don't get me wrong i wouldn't stop working you know what i'm saying but if you wanted to stop working if you wanted i don't know do you have ever thought about, have you ever put a number where if I get here, I can chill out on, like, I don't need to do, I have 17 podcasts.

I don't need to do all that work. I don't need to do nine sets a week at, you know, the commie store. You do if you want to get good. I know, but if I want to get 100%, if I want to get a podcast, I need to do that. If I want to get good at, but there has to be some material level financially where i can get to where i can all right i can chill out on this but i'm not i'm not built that way every morning i wake up like ah fuck man we better get going better get going i don't um i don't think about retiring because i like what i do so i don't think i don't think

like oh i need to have x amount of money in the, so I'm not going to do this very much longer. I'm not saying retiring. I'm saying maybe cut back on all the shit you do. I like all that stuff. I think it keeps me from going crazy, too. I think being active keeps me from losing my marbles. Yeah, I feel you. Just around the house, just only with my demons. Depressed.

I don't think I'd ever get depressed. Really? No. I get depressed if I'm not busy. If I'm with my son depressed i don't think i'd ever get depressed really no i get depressed if i'm not if i'm not busy if i'm with my son i'm good but you leave me alone no i'm like a gremlin after midnight don't leave me alone man i don't like being all by myself all the time well i have so many different interests that i've sort of one of the patterns that i've picked up my whole life is that i like to do i find things that i like to do

and i do them as much as i can i would i mean i have so many different things whether it's archery or martial arts or i would i'd join the fucking pro pool tour i would do something see but everything you're talking about it's what you're good about too though is you're doing that with friends like some of your friends are the best in the world at those things you just mentioned that goes hand in hand that helps having well yeah if you're alone with no friends that shit is very that's when i can get a little dark if i'm you leave me like my brother goes on the road to me all the time i've done tons of dates and when he's not with me and i'm in that room all by myself for like three or four days like oh i'm not i'm not happy man i'm not

doing well i don't know it's probably something i need to talk someone about but i don't know that is a depressing thing when you're alone on the road um i used to do those gigs on the road with no opening act like way back in the day and i would work with a local guy and it was just not fun if the local guy was cool it was great we had a good old time and it was fun i but uh and you know i'm i like everybody but if if i'm all set on friends so if you're not my group i don't want to spend time like i'm not gonna go to eat with you i'm like i'll see you see at the venue man like i don't want to get to know each other i don't want to get to know anybody no no not really your book's closed It's a lot of energy, man.

I talk for a living. If you didn't have to work ever again, what would you do with your time? What if, say, you hit the lottery, you won $500 million, you never have to work again? I would still do stand-up and podcasting. Really? Guaranteed, yeah. If I'm not busy, I like being stupid busy. Theo and I have a new podcast.

I didn't need to do that. I already have my show on Showtime. But yet you did need to do that. Because I love doing it. Well. It's not for a financial thing. It works good. Like I love Theo by himself.

Like his podcast by himself is really good. Brilliant. But he's better with other people. Yes. Because other people get to respond to how ridiculous he is. Out of this world ridiculous. Half the fun is people going, what the fuck are you talking about? It's because other people get to respond to how ridiculous he is. Out of this world ridiculous. Half the fun is people going, what the fuck are you talking about? It's some crazy shit.

It's some crazy shit. Me and him talked about doing it for a long time, doing the king of the sting a long time. Then we even made an announcement. And then months later, like even months later, just because he's a busy guy. I'm a busy guy. And it's like, we don't need to do this. Are you the sting? He's the rat

yeah i'm because he called me he says i look like i got stung by a bunch of bees because i'm like swollen and i called him i said it looks like he you know keeps rats or something like that so i'm the rat king and then just stuck and then king in the sting and it's been going great man it's been going great it's it's so different than what callan and i do and people like oh fire the kid it's coming to an end no No, it's fucking not. Come on. Fire and the Kid's never been bigger, man. You can't pay attention to these folks.

Every month, it builds. I don't know why, but every month, it builds, builds, builds. Me and Callan are doing great, but there's the Rat King. That's what he looks like. This is the Turtles cartoon. Oh. It's his hair. Dude, we have a segment on the show called Flaunt My Aunt, and people send in pictures of their

aunts, and we roast them. You don't show the picture online, do you? We sure do, sir. Oh, no. It's not all bad things. Some girl sent a picture of her uncle, and she's like, yo, talk about my uncle. So Theo always tries to be positive, and I take it down a weird road. But it's great.

Or someone sent a picture of their aunt from the 1950s. Was she hot? Pretty hot. Our producer, Chin, showed his aunt, and she was hot as fuck. 1950s hot was different. Black and white. Mushy. There we are.

Talking about somebody's fucking aunt that someone's old on. 75 years old. That's a lot. You guys have a nice set. Where's your set? Is it in the same complex where you do Fighter and the Kid?

No, so it's in Santa Monica and it's the company that produced called Malka and they do all my Showtime stuff. So Showtime

with Brian Daly and those guys, we want to make it as easy as possible because you have all these shows. We don't want you driving all over. So they just, at a very much smaller scale than this, basically did like a Joe Rogan style where they built me a set

where it's kind of like my fantasy land. So I have all my Showtime stuff there. I have King of the Sting there. What's with the Bumblebee colors? The Charlie Brown colors? I don't know. We had a set designer there. I'm like, all right all right well we're not huge charlie brown fans it's two on the nose black and yellow it's like a b sting it's a little weird it's two on the nose

ah it's two on the you know i'm very fashion conscious though oh dude that stuff would drive me nuts you i was gonna say last night you like you were dressed and you dressed up man i dressed up you look pretty fucking fly yeah you look pretty do you see him jamie look pretty dope you're on stage i looked i looked at brian said fuck look at rogan with a swaggy tonight drip drip son beautiful drip it was good looking good dude those friends dress horrible do they uh theo's the worst dressed person i know brian just doesn't give theo wears like those pants with like rubber bands on the bottom of them parachute pants like their mom vegan pants they're very

he wears vegan pants what does that mean there's just some bullshit pants like it's like he wears those me too movement pants like they're just so non-alpha male you know like that's just what he wears that's his style style. They taper down at the bottom, and then there's elastic that holds him up like six inches away from his shoe. Yeah, it's very yoga mom-ish. Yoga mom. And then he wears weird shoes. And then he'll wear Nike shoes with Reebok socks. Drives me fucking nuts.

That drives you nuts? Nuts. Really? Nuts, dude. I did that the other day. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. I had a pair of Converse

With a pair of Adidas socks Oh dude And I was thinking about it Before I left I'm like no one's gonna know Oh if I Dude Jamie

Do you come from the same Like if you did that at my school You wouldn't have got out alive By fifth period There's a word for it Mismatched? Like perp Perp and maybe

I don't know There's like a word When you fucked up Dumbass Yeah there's like an early it mismatched ah like perp perp and maybe i don't know there's like there's like a word when you were when you fuck that yeah it was like a early 90s thing i remember yeah it just wasn't my thing um yeah but it's it's a good time and what theon and i theon and i tried to do is something completely different there's there's it's not like open-ended conversation there's no guest it's just it's all no guest. It's just, it's all segments. Right. King or Sting it, and it's all fan submissions. So people upload videos, go, yo, Burger King or McDonald's? I mean him debate McDonald's, Burger King, or Flop My Eye, send a picture.

Do you have a preference between Burger King and McDonald's? I'm a Burger King guy. They both taste like shit. Well, I didn't say either one's healthy, but they're fucking. They taste like shit. Dude, a Whopper with cheese? What do you like, fast food? You have to choose between Wendy's and Burger King.

They're right next to each other. Burger King all day. Whopper with cheese, ketchup only, bro. That's outrageous. You want Wendy's? Of course. Dude, they're square patties, you ISIS fucks. So?

Square? You got a problem with shapes? Yeah! The square patties? What's wrong with square? You like square pizza too or slices? I don't give a fuck as long as it tastes good. Nah, dude.

I'm not worried about shapes. Come on, bro. You're so fashion conscious. That drives me nuts. You should have been a gay guy in another life. Yeah. Probably, right? That's why I stopped fighting.

You're the straightest fashion conscious guy I know. Yeah, I don't know why. It's interesting, right? You're really into looks and fashion and trends and stuff. You pay attention. You're the only guy that I know that does that. I've had my outfit picked out for my special Saturday for three weeks now. Wow.

I went through constantly thinking, constantly thinking, what am I going to do? You should have a tiger come out in a cage like Cat Williams. Just over the top. Yeah. Just go nuts. Have a fur coat and have some chicks take the fur coat off when you get on stage the set's a little outrageous the the crazy set not crazy but i'm like oh that's very it's very kevin hartish like that's nice when they sit there like all right well that's

that'll work yeah excited yeah i can't wait man that's fucking awesome yeah i've never been more excited so the same night that you are doing your Showtime special, TJ Dillashaw is fighting Henry Cejudo. Who else is on that card? Pull that card up. Good card, man. It's the first card ever for ESPN. Plus.

Yeah, ESPN Plus. So it's a streaming thing. You watch Cowboy Cerrone, though, on regular ESPN. Oh, okay. He's the main event on the regular ESPN. So it's weird because the prelims are on the digital device. Then it goes regular ESPN for the Donald Cerrone fight. Then you got to switch back to the digital.

It's going to take a little while for people to get used to that. Well, some people are super bummed out. My friend Brian Stevens, he lives in rural Texas outside of Dallas. And he's bummed out because his internet's not that fast. It's like, you know, in certain places you can't get fast internet. Really? Yeah. In 2019 he can't get Wi-Fi?

If you want to live on a ranch. Don't live on a fucking ranch. You're going to get slow Wi-Fi. But he wants to live on a ranch. Oh, fuck, bro. No, there's some, they can do some stuff. Bro. They can do some stuff, right?

Well, you can if you really want to be you know balling you got to spend a lot of money like it took four months for us to get legit internet at the old place they had to chew up the streets and we're you know we were in you know the canoga park area which has all these businesses it's pretty legit there yeah It's a fucking, it's a grind to get legit internet in some spots. So homeboy can't get it, so he's bummed out? Can't get it, yeah. So he's, you know, they used to be able to watch all the good fights on regular TV. So here we go.

Gregor Gillespie versus Yancy Medeiros. Gregor Gillespie is, that guy is a fucking beast. Minus 550. You look at it, yeah, he's an overwhelming favorite. That could be fire of the night. I love how you skip over the Greg Hardy. We all recognize that's bullshit. And then let's keep going.

Well, is it bullshit? I mean, the guy's got fucking serious power. Well, the only thing that's bullshit. Does he? He's fought cans. He's 3-0. So on the ESPN card, he's the co-main event? Well, it's because of his name.

Well, Alan Crowder. I don't know him. I don't know who Alan Crowder is. And he's Greg Hardy's giant favorite. 600. Yeah. He's minus 600. Wait a minute.

He calls himself the Prince of War? Hey, bro. Whoa. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. Greg, the Prince of War Hardy? Wow. Don't do that Do not

Absolutely do not Do not do that These nicknames Are so bad Like someone needs Like a nickname coach The UFC should provide You know how they have

Like the athletes The performance center Yeah Where the athletes Get to go Nickname center Yeah they have a They should have a nickname center

Like Gregor the Gift Gillespie That's a good name Dude That motherfucker Triple G's That motherfucker can wrestle Holy shit can he wrestle Yeah they should have a nickname center Like Gregor the Gift Gillespie That's a good name Dude Triple G's That motherfucker can wrestle Holy shit can he wrestle He can fish too He can fight

Yeah he's a good fisherman Yeah He's a fucking serious wrestler though This is a good fight Dustin Ortiz and Benavidez is a good fight Yeah They did fight before And Benavidez won right

Yeah Benavidez is a motherfucker Yeah Love Benavidez Glover Teixe Yeah. Benavidez is a motherfucker. Yeah. Love Benavidez. Glover Teixeira and Karl Roberson. That's a good fight. Karl Roberson is a fucking beast, man. Interesting nickname.

I guess you say Roberson. Roberson. Karl Baby K. Roberson. Yeah. That motherfucker can fight. He is good. Strike-in's very good. Yeah.

He hurt his foot in his last fight, like early on, but this is a big step up for him. Clover's getting a little long in the tooth, yeah? A lot long in the tooth, but he's still tough as shit. If that goes to the ground, it could get dicey. And then the next one, boys, get your dicks out. Paige Van Zandt and Rachel Ostovich. Both dimey, dimeys of all dimeys.

They're better looking than the ring card girls. Well, Ostevich has the most ridonkulous body. And her face is ridiculous. She's beautiful, too. She is dimey. But her body is so ridiculous. It's like, are you a person?

I'd risk it all for that girl. And then you got Paige Van Zandt. Why does it say 155? She's not 155. That's a typo. Come on, UFC. God damn it.

Get your fucking people on this website. God damn it. Someone's an asshole. They want to make fun of her. She's 155. They could also do a better picture of her. Some girl who works for the girlfriend of the web designers. Like, my rate is 155.

She's fatter than me. I'm 45, but she's 55. Yeah, she's easy on the eyes, too. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, they're both gorgeous women. It's crazy, though, that Ostevich coming off of that domestic violence thing. Have you seen the video of that? No.

It's disturbing. It's her husband saying he's going to kill her. It's super disturbing and if you need security rachel i am here for you so sad um they have kids together too it's just so fucked up it's super dark but they put her on the card with greg hardy that was a giant a lot of people criticizing that and the ufc does not give a fuck well the thing is that greg hardy was on the card the card was set before she got assaulted by her husband so it was already in place she was supposed to be on the card they pulled her from the card when they thought that she had a broken orbital bone she went to uh a different doctor i guess she got some actual exams and mris and stuff.

Turns out she didn't have a broken orbital bone. They cleared her to fight. She begged them to let her fight because she just, she doesn't want this to take her out of fighting as well. I mean, it's a gigantic catastrophe, a horrible dilemma in her life. It's hard not to root for it. Her husband hits her, beats her up.

It's awful. And she's like i'm not gonna let this guy stop my career i'm not gonna let this guy change the path of my life i'm done with him i want to fight and she begged them to let her fight and i'm just saying if i'm the ufc i go all right greg hardy he's not a big draw he's not he's not a veteran there's nothing going on here let's just move him to any other fucking card we have. We're sensitive to this. No one's tuned in just to, and it's not a big deal.

Move him to the next card. I think they want some controversy. I think they like controversy. I think any sort of press, and they live and die by this, negative press is good press. With the Jon Jones thing. They don't give a fuck. How about the Conor Khabib thing? They kept showing him throwing the dolly at the bus.

They kept showing it over and over again in the promos. And to their point, it kind of works. Fuck yeah, it worked. That was a giant pay-per-view. I mean, that was giant. It works. So you can't- Yeah.

This one's a little different, like throwing a dolly through the window with other professional fighters. All right, whatever. I watched that. I hyped that shit too. With this one, I can't. I just can't. I'm out. I hyped that shit, too. With this one, I can't. I just can't. I'm out.

I'm not hyping it. I can't get on board for it. Well, it's not like Ostovich is fighting her boyfriend or husband. It'd be cool if she was. I think he's a fighter, so that could be trouble. He is a fighter. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Probably not. Looks pretty jacked. Yeah, it's trouble. Not good. The whole thing's so ugly. It's tough, man. What are the fights? What are the fights, Ryan? Cowboy. Oh whole thing's so ugly. It's tough. What are the fights? What are the fights?

Cowboy. Oh, that's right. Alexander Hernandez is a fucking beast. That is a good fight. That guy is super cocky, too. Alexander the Great Hernandez. He is a bad motherfucker. Cowboy being cowboy, just taking random ass fights.

Yeah, well, this is his first. This is Hernandez's first fight in the big leagues. Let me look at his record. Did I show his record? No, but, I mean, look at it, the actual fights. Does it show who he's fought? No. They don't have that on the website.

What? He hasn't fought anyone nowhere near. They don't have that on the website? Come on. Not on the fight card, I don't believe, but maybe on his page they do. Wow. How weird. I card, I don't believe, but maybe on his page they do. Wow. How weird. I mean, he beat Darius.

He fought Obam Mercier. But Darius is a motherfucker, and he starched him. Yeah, he starched Darius, and he beat Obam Mercier. Those are two really good fighters. Yeah. But the way he beat Darius, I was like, holy shit. I know. He's fast as fuck. he's got serious power he's really technical too and he's really hungry like he he views this cowboy fight as the breakout

opportunity he's a young line man yeah he's yeah he's got real future championship potential and he's one of those guys you look at you go let, let's see. Let's see where this goes. With Cowboy, it's just like makes zero sense in the world, but Cowboy just wants to stay active. He's a savage, man. He just loves it. And you know what, man?

I mean, if you look at his last fight against Perry, he's still fighting smooth and smart. He looked fantastic in that fight. He made short work of Perry. Perry's a fighting smooth and smart. He looked fantastic in that fight. He looked great. Short work of Perry. Yep. Perry's a dangerous guy,

powerful guy. Cowboy against a cowboy, man. It's very interesting. Very interesting fight. That might be one of the fights that I'm most curious about on the card.

Oh, for sure. For sure. Yeah. I'll tell you who's a motherfucker. You should go down the first kid, and I've seen this kid since he walked in the gym

At 13 Corey Sander Hagen He came into Aurora High Altitude When I was fighting And he was a basketball player In high school

And came in there And he is a Mother Fucker He is damn good He's supposed to fight John Lineker But John got hurt

But he This kid is Stand up wise Super special 5'11", 135. That's a tall gentleman for that weight class. He's a protege of Christian Allen. This kid has skills, man.

Damn. I'm looking forward to that. I know nothing about Mario Batista. I have nothing about him. See if you can find a video of Corey fighting, Corey Sanhagen. His movement, you'll see how fluid his movement is and how unorthodox he is.

And he's good in all areas. The one downfall might be his wrestling, but he's fucking good, man. Yeah, it's a fun time right now for up-and-coming talent. There's so many good guys. As far as combat sports, including boxing and MMA, in the business we're in, there couldn't be a better time. I know, right? It's crazy. It's the best.

It's amazing. It's a male soap opera. I always have something to talk about. The only thing that's left out is kickboxing. Kickboxing still is not getting any traction. You know what? It's just like jujitsu. It's never going to just blow up like these other sports.

But why not? Because it's- It's the way the world is, Joe. No one gives a fuck. I'm sad. Yeah. That's the one thing that I think is missing is kickboxing blowing

up again i love combat sports but it's like i'm not gonna jump to my couch to watch kickboxing or jujitsu and i love jujitsu but i'm not gonna like if it was a big kickboxing card like i watched over him didn't we go to see joeilling fight together? Did you come with me to that event? I didn't go with you. You didn't go with that. Oh, speaking of that, Coker texted me last night. I didn't get back to him. Sorry, Scott.

Oh, Fedor. Yeah, he's like, dude, you in for Fedor Bader? I didn't get back to him yet either. I was going to ask you. Yeah, I was waiting to ask you. Do you want to go? Should we go? I'll go.

Is it next weekend? It's the 26th, the weekend after your event. It's at the Forum. That could be fun. I feel like we should go to see Fedor fight live. Me too, because especially if he loses, it's probably the last time. Well, it's just the opportunity to see if there's five all-time greatest fighters in history, he's on that list. Have you been to a live Fedor? Never.

I've been to two. I went when he fought Ronnie Coleman in Vegas, and then I worked at the Bellator when he fought Mitrione. Here's Sanhagen. We get a change. God, he's so tall for 35. He looks like a vegan. See how smooth he is when he switches? He got lit up there.

But he's very smooth, man. Oh, he fought Yuri Alcantara? That's a tough one. Ooh, Jesus. Oh, this is Yuri Alcantara? That's a tough one. Ooh, Jesus. Oh, this is one of the rounds of the year. He gets in trouble, and you think he submitted. I think his arm snapped. Oh, my God, look at his arm.

He goes on to win this fight, I'm pretty sure. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. How does he not tap here? This is crazy. He's triangled. He's in a full-on arm bar.on arm bar he's getting his arm fucked up he gets out of this oh my god how does he get out of this i have no idea what heart

yeah he has a special talent oh my god he's got some rubber arms look at his arm his arm looks broken man he's that looks broken look at. Look how far it's bent back. And I'm surprised the ref didn't stop. Oh! I'm surprised the ref didn't stop. Bro. Oh, no, no, no. It's turned sideways now.

See the way his wrist is? Yep. That's actually going with the joint. Because he's doing this now. So he's actually in way better shape now. And he's bleeding now. Oh, now he's fucked. Oh, no, but he bent it down.

Dude, he's safe. He's actually doing very good with his defense. Well, his shoulder's not in danger there. He's doing very good with defense. Look, he's getting cut up from this. This is incredible. Yeah, he controls the leg

so he can escape. Oh, my God. This is horrific to watch. How does he get out of this? That's incredible. Alcantara's got to be like, what the fuck? How does that guy not tap? That'll break your will.

When you do all that and he's still there, look at him beating his ass. And then they're smashing you. And then you're tired and you realize, oh, my God, I should have tried to choke him. He should have committed to the triangle. I mean, the triangle is fully locked in. Dude, that arm bar was nasty. It was nasty, but triangles put you to sleep. The thing about arm bars is you can let your arm snap.

You really can, and guys have. There's some crazy savages out there that will let you break their arm. A lot of times they stop it, though. But when you get put to sleep, you get put to sleep. Yeah, your triangle better be fucking good, especially this day and age. When's the last time you saw a guy get a triangle besides fucking Brian Ortega? The triangle better be goddamn good, man. Guys are so good with their defense with triangles these days.

Yeah. Triangles aren't that good, though. Especially, you know, Corey's a black belt. Right, but it's like whose triangle is that good? Triangle defense or triangle submissions? Ortega is probably the best in the UFC. He's the best. Yeah.

T-City. Triangle City. That's what it stands for. People have seen him in the Max Holloway fight. If you've only seen him fight in that fight, God, you've got to go back and watch him. Do your homework. His submissions are so nasty. That's flying triangles.

Sanhagen. Is it Hagen, Sanhagen, or San Hagen? San Hagen. San Hagen is just smashing down on them. Alcantara seems spent. Again, came into the gym, basketball player, no experience. That's crazy. At 13?

Young. Yeah, but see, the 13-year-olds, they just learn shit. Yeah, just think about 13, walk in the gym, and you have this work ethic from basketball, and you're like, oh, I'll try this stuff out. And you walk in the gym, you got Christian Allen, who's a ninja, and then he just downloads all his experience into you. You're like, all right, and then you're in the fucking UFC.

Amazing. And he was going to be an underdog against John Lineker, and he would have beat Lineker, man. Dude, he's smashing Alcantara. How does this fight end? Do you remember? Corey wins. He's beating the fuck out of Alcantara.

And I'm pretty sure, I think he had a bonus for that night. You'll think Alcantara's probably, after all that, he's like, Jesus Christ, dude. He's not even defending himself well. He's exhausted from trying to blow out his goddamn shoulder. The way he's defending himself, look at what he's doing. It's almost like he's exhausted from but he's like trying to blow out his goddamn shoulder the way he's

defending himself like look at his the way he's what he's doing it's almost like he's confused that the guy's still there and he's pounding on him now like look at this he's like letting he must be exhausted he emptied his gas tank he's getting fucked up yeah he's getting fucked up dude how about uh it doesn't seem like he can move Yeah, he's getting fucked up. Dude, how about... He doesn't seem like he can move right. No, he's so exhausted, man. He's trying for that no-garo sweep. The deep half.

Yep, knowing better. Yeah, man, that's interesting. And that is on what? Is that on Fight Pass? Some of them are on Fight Pass? No, no Fight Pass. This is on ESPN+. Okay.

So it goes ESPN+, then you got to jump to regular espn to watch cowboy then you gotta jump back to the digital platform to watch the rest of the card what terrible idea whoever did that really terrible idea really terrible idea back and forth yeah that doesn't make is it not on an app though like if you have it is on an app like an espn i'm saying it goes it goes app, though? It is on an app. Like, if you have an ESPN app. I'm saying it goes app, regular TV to watch Cowboy. No, but, like, you can watch ESPN normal on the app, I believe. I'm not sure. That's what I'm asking. I'm not sure.

I think you can. I'm not sure. I was listening to Luke Thomas was talking about it. And so can you get the app on your television? Can you do it through, like, Apple TV? You should be able to. You should be, yeah? So you can just watch all of it?

Yeah. Have you seen, oh, so at the end he stopped him? Yep. Damn. Crazy. Dude, how about fucking Cain Velasquez versus Francis Ngannou? Ooh, that makes me nervous. For who?

For Cain. Really? Yeah. It's an amazing fight for Cain. It's a great fight for Cain if he gets that guy to the ground. It's a great fight for Francis, too. Well, it makes me excited. I mean, I say nervous.

Anytime I see Francis fighting, i'm nervous for his opponent because i wasn't nervous after the steep a fight i was like oh fuck you weren't nervous in the derrick lewis fight no i thought if he fought the way he always fights that would be a crazy fight but he was so nervous from that fight from the steep a fight that he just did not terrible he just couldn't pull the trigger well then it and then Derek Rose had a hurt back. Yeah. So you got a complete shit show out of two knockout artists. I just think that, you know, Kane's been out for a long time.

He's a motherfucker though, man. Oh, he's the best. I think he's the best. I think he's the best in terms of like physical ability. You think he's the best heavyweight of all time? I think he's the best. I think physical ability. You think he's the best heavyweight of all time? I think he's the best. I think he has to do a little more work. I don't think he's the best in terms of what he's accomplished.

I think Fedor's the best heavyweight of all time in terms of what he's accomplished. Maybe you can make the argument for Fabrizio Verdum because Verdum beat him, but I think Verdum beat a Fedor that had already been through the ringer and pride and all the chaos over there. I mean, he had been in those wars with fucking Crow Cop. But Verdun beat him when it was still the aura of Fedor. He was the first one where you realize he was human. Sort of.

Because Brett Rogers kind of took a little bit out of that. Dude, he starched fucking Brett. He KO'd him. But before that, he had trouble with him. It wasn't an easy fight. It wasn't an easy fight. He didn't even respect brett right he did a crow cop like i mean you'll crow hop fucking punch and yeah leaped and

oh my god hit him with that right hand that right hand was redonkulous though i think yeah it's it's it's tough to say greatest of all time because it's the greatest of that time period because when when he was doing it there were specialists that he was great. There were certain things that made him great. He was undersized because if you put his skill set with his frame now into the pool, I don't know if he's the best. But then Kane at his time when there's JDS and he's in his prime, Brock Lesnar, he's beating those guys. What Kane would do to people, he would overwhelm you

in a way that looked like you were drowning. His cardio and pace was insane insane like the junior dos santos fights i think took so much out of junior both of them i think it took it both of them paid the price both out of yeah it was the same thing as uh i was listening to um who's the boxer you just had on from uh love kelly pavley yeah how you're saying he doesn't watch the rematch with canelo triple g because it takes so much out of those guys that they're never the same i'm usually i'm usually uh on the same thinking path as that where i'm like god if those guys go out again man we're never going to get a a good product well kane kane and junior for sure i mean especially the third fight the

third fight the second one too yeah the second one too but both of. Yeah, the second one, too. Both of them, they just- And then JDS, Stipe. Yeah. That was- That was crazy, too. I mean, JDS has had some wars, and Stipe has had some wars. And you can tell that they're just different in life. Yeah. I'm not saying it's brain trauma or whatever it is, but they're just different. They're not the same.

They leave a piece of themselves in that octagon. Well, it's for sure some brain trauma. Yeah, I'm just trying to be nice. You're trying to be nice. You're getting hit in the head that much. it's for sure some brain trauma. Yeah, I'm just trying to be nice. You're trying to be nice.

You're getting hit in the head that much. They leave a little piece of them in there for our entertainment, and I feel a little guilty about that. What's crazy is there's no talk about Stipe. Stipe, the most accomplished heavyweight of all time. He's the greatest in terms of his accomplishments. He defended the title more than anybody. He didn't fight the best guys in their prime when he fought Junior junior was definitely past his prime that's the knock on him right like he fought for doom after his prime that's not his but again when when it was his run during his era

stipe's the best when it was cane during his era he was the best right fedor was the best it's hard to say this guy's better than this guy because it's just a different time period right jordan better than lebron jordan during that era by far the best lebron right now by far the best right it's stupid we don't know against each other we don't know we don't know so that's that's the question about stipe is like why why is there no talk about him fighting again like why have they not said he's trying like he's trying like he even he even tweeted, he goes, DC, before you retire, let's do it, man. Yeah. Like, quit waiting for John. Let's do it.

Well, he's being really active on social media trying to, but it doesn't seem like there's a lot of interest. Because he has to be. Yes. You know why? Because it's not in his nature. We know that's not Stipe. Right.

We know that. Right. That's not, Stipe's a firefighter, humble, blue-collar dude. He's going to put in work, comes to fight all the time. So, Derek Lewis explains turning down Stipe fight. Derek says, they wanted me to fight Stipe on short notice. I wanted some time off. I would still fight Stipe

but not right now. Not so soon. Especially after fighting a guy like DC who's more of a wrestler. Then going to fight Stipe. I know I wanted some time off. So they were trying to get Stipe fight. So they were trying to get him for the UFC's Brooklyn card this weekend. No, was that this weekend?

Yeah. But it's smart of Derek Lewis. When you go DC, then steep A, there couldn't be two worse matchups for him. He's going to get paid. Yeah. There are two beatings you're going to take. Most likely, unless he connects. Derek Lewis is doing it for the money.

He says that. I'm trying to make cash, man, so that'd be the best way to do it, but if he's not healthy, just give me an ass whooping from Stipe. Yeah.

Or he connects. Correct. Or early on, but even Francis connected with Stipe, and Stipe did not give a fuck. That's how freaky he is. Yeah, he's tough as shit,

which is more incredible, even, that DC took him out. So them offering Stipe Black Beast, you can tell they're not even thinking DC-Stipe rematch. I know. DC's getting Jones-Lesnar. That's it.

I don't think Lesnar's fighting. I don't either. I think something suspect's going on there. I would be willing to bet DC's last fight is that heavyweight. Against Jon Jones. Against Jon Jones. And it's the biggest fight of all time. That's such a,

and I'm a Brock Lesnar fan. I like when he fights. He's such a freak. I celebrate the guy. I don't give a fuck. You hate Nowitzki, go get a cup of coffee when Brock fights. I don't give a fuck.

But when you talk about Jon Jones, DC, I mean, no one's even talking about Brock. Jon Jones, DC, that's the motherfucking fight I think that's bigger than Conor Khabib too

I think it's there's so much history there it's for fucking the heavy and I think DC at heavyweight fighting Jon the gap narrows but at light heavyweight DC it's not for you at heavyweight though I think that's why Jon's kind of like I'll fight him it has to be at light

heavyweight because DC does have some advantages at heavyweight, though, I think that's why John's kind of like, I'll fight him. It has to be at light heavyweight because DC does have some advantages at heavyweight now. But let's look at what they've done with TJ Dillashaw dropping him down to flyweight. Why can't DC do the same thing when he gets down to light heavyweight? What do you mean? Oh, you're saying, what do you mean? Well, he struggles so hard to get down to light heavyweight

that it fucks with his cardio, his conditioning. He just doesn't feel the same. He says it takes too much out of him. He feels so much stronger at heavyweight because he doesn't have to go through that weight cut. He's a big dude, man. No. No, he's got body fat on him. He's got extra body fat that doesn't aid your performance.

Is that true, though, Joe? Now, when he's at heavyweight, he doesn't diminish himself. Or is he a mesomorph where he's different? Because sometimes, like a Fedor or a Roy Nelson, if you make those guys shredded, that's not in their DNA. They're not ectomorphs. You can't do that. But because we see guys like Francis Ngannou, we assume that's, you know what I'm saying? I think ectomorph is the skinny guy. Real skinny.

Super skinny. I think mesomorph is what you're thinking of. That's in the middle. That's what I'm saying I think a mesomorph Is what you're thinking of That's in the middle That's what I'm saying I think DC's a mesomorph Endomorph is fat right Yes Where I think for DC

Like being shredded His body doesn't function Off that well He doesn't have to be shredded But he's carrying around So much extra weight Like at heavy weight Starching dudes

Well he starched But look at Kane Velasquez He's not shredded. He starched two guys. He starched Stipe, who he just connected with a beautiful shot in the clinch. That's his skill, his wrestling. I think what's going on at heavyweight with DC is he's not weakened.

Let him eat whatever the fuck he wants, and he's not weakened. I think that is critical for him. And I think when he gets down to light heavyweight, I think he's weakened. I think it takes something out of him. But I wonder how much they could mitigate that with great diet and planning it out the same way Kalavita's done to TJ. TJ's a smaller guy naturally and leaner. 100%. 100%. But still, they leaned him out further to get him down to 135 pounds before the weight cut.

I just don't think it's in uh dc's dna to be that lean it's just not for him maybe it's just not you know maybe but i think everyone benefits from scientific planning meal planning real analysis of your calories in calories out nutrients i don't know maybe he does he does that already. I bet he does that to some degree. But some guys, I think, do better for a guy like DC where he's just that extra fat. And that's his thing. I hope that they fight. If they do fight, I hope the first fight is at heavyweight.

That's what I hope. A hundred percent. Because we've seen the light heavyweight. Because they've talked about doing it at light heavyweight. We've seen the light heavyweight version. Because John wants it at light heavyweight. Yeah. a light heavyweight because they've talked

about doing it at light heavyweight we've seen the light heavyweight version at light heavyweight yeah well John Lawson at light heavyweight

so that it never has to appear that he picked up a title when they took it away from the champ and they didn't earn it from the champ

and I get that but how great would it be if you're John where you know most people clearly know he beat DC then you go to heavyweight

and take that from him it's just the ultimate fuck you but I also think DC's different animal heavyweight his power's different john does get hit and dc at heavyweight could land some shit yeah steep ace not easy to knock out at all no that would be the fight but it's also like they get so emotional with each other they hate each other yeah dc fucking hates that guy. That's why pay-per-view goes, that's what you want, especially at heavyweight.

It's hard to sell a trilogy at light heavyweight. July, July 4th. That's happening. July 4th weekend. DC versus Jon Jones. The heavyweight championship of the world. Champ, champ. Champ, champ.

Boom. Boom. Giant pay-per-view. Three million buys. Probably around there, yeah. It's a lot of pay-per-views. But yeah. But it could be done.

And that's what's going to happen. Dana's going to make an offer they can't refuse. Well, we're in January. February, March, April, May, June, July. Six months from now. DC wanted to retire in March. You know what? It's not going to be July.

He's not going to retire in March. He said his 40th birthday, he's going to retire. Get out of here with that. That's why Steve Tweetum was like, dude, let's do this before you get out. What is this? This is from a promo for the wrestling event this week because he's in Royal Rumble at the end of the month. Is this new him? Is this current him, do you think?

Well, if it's current him, he ain't passing any tests. He looks huge. No, it's just a couple of picos, bro. Just relax. Look at the size of him. There's another little shot of him. He's a freak, though, you know? Well, he's definitely a freak, but is he physically the same?

Like, look up Brock Lesnar lean. So he's trying to find a new picture. You ever seen a picture of him in high school? Yeah, it was jacked. Huge. Yeah, he had a giant ass He's a naturally giant dude Yeah Ultra large size of can of paint for a head

He's so big He's a tank He looks like every bully of all time in high school But he's actually a nice guy Yeah like there He looks pretty lean That's old Dude did you ever hear about the story

Pat Bayer's telling us he used to train with Brock Good now that's old dude you ever hear about the story uh pat bears telling us he used to train with brock good god that's a freak um when brock they were they were there in between camp and brock had his daughter in his hand and people saw him and went to grab him take pictures and he's holding his daughter and they grabbed the hand he's holding his daughter and he just went off on this dude and he's like the nicest guy ever brock's always great but i guess this fan was like oh my god brock lesnar and he's like the nicest guy ever. Brock's always great. But I guess this fan was like, oh, my God, Brock Lesnar. And he's like, I'm with my kids, man. Don't bother me.

And some dude was like, no, let's do get a picture. And grabs him. And he's holding his daughter. And it just went. And he just was like, what the fuck are you doing, man? Grabbed his arm while he was holding his daughter. He's holding his daughter like this. That's what we were talking about earlier.

That's what reminds me of it. He grabbed him. He's like, what the fuck, dude? I got my daughter here, man. And I'm Brock Lesnar. I'm going to twist your head off. People want what they want and they don't care. Yeah.

I just don't see him fighting again. I'd be happy if I was wrong. I think he definitely wants to get back in there again. I mean, I think he has some fights in his mind that he would like to get back. I think he'd beat 95% of the division, too. He's a freak, man. Yeah. He is a freak.

You know, Pico-Grams, no Pico-Grams. He's a fucking freak, dude. Pico-Grams. That's just my reference for fucking steroids now. Pico is so hot right now. He's such a freak. He is. You want some skeptical hippo eyes for your boy novitsky

how about the test results for lesnar showed up then went away on their website and they're like oh it's just a just a random mistake it's just a glitch that fifty thousand dollars took care of how funny is that i wonder what happened what do you think happened i don't know i i literally i do not know i there's some sort of shadiness there i think so oh come on man if you think usada's the end all bill you have your goddamn mind usada says technical issues caused online block brock lesnar drug test number discrepancy here's my problem joe here's my problem with this so let's just assume brock i don't know has he had a needle in his ass? Maybe.

Maybe. I'm not. I don't know. I've never done it. 100% I would guess. Well, he tested positive in the Mark Hunt fight. Correct. And Mark sued him for that.

Is Mark suing him? Mark's suing the UFC. He's still in legal action with that. And he's not in the UFC. His contract's up with the UFC. So it's going to probably get even gnarlier now. So good luck to Mark Hunt. But, so Brock Lesnar, we know, steroid user,

his test just doesn't show up. I mean, that's random. Boy, that's coincidence. Right. John Jones, greatest fighter of all time, USADA issues, picograms. That's just a coincidence. It's too much of a coincidence for me, Joe.

Okay, but wait a minute. The John Jones, USADA thing, they tested him positive. Correct. Like, what are you saying? By the way, he did test negative after the fight, even for the metabolites. So, for the picograms afterwards. There's no picograms. You're saying picograms.

Picograms is a unit of measurement. Correct. What he tested positive for is a metabolite for this steroid. Which, and after the fight, there was nothing, correct? Right.

Okay. Because the numbers, what they're saying is that what his body has in it is a response to this steroid. It's not like they're detecting like,

Anovar in his system. What they're detecting is It's a pulsing. It's a metabolite. Correct. What they're detecting like anavar in his system what they're detecting is it's a metabolite correct what they're detecting is the body responding to the fact that this steroid had been in his system previously yes but they they documented it's not that it's a you keep saying it like it's a joke but but because the situation to me is a joke look at it okay why don't you tell me why it's a joke this This is why it's a joke. Because have you ever heard of any, and before I say all this, Jones is, I think whether he did anything or not, he's still the greatest fighter on the planet.

He doesn't need this stuff. The reason to me because it's a joke is because the greatest fighter on the planet to ever enter the octagon has all these issues. It's too much of a coincidence to me He has plenty of issues outside of that When you say all these issues you mean steroid Issues The first one being The excuse

Of the dick pills But it was They actually got the dick pills They tested them this is all documented Is it? They didn't find the dick pills Joe What they them. This is all documented. Is it? Yes. Well, those dick pills. They didn't find the dick pills, Joe. What they found were the precursors that can be found in dick pills.

So if it's clenbuterol. Wait a minute. What are you talking about? So the thing that he flagged for, those do show up in dick pills. Yes. They also show up in a lot of other things. Right. But he got them, the dick pills that he took, and they had it in them. Correct. So that means he, so then he's clear the dick pills that he took and they had it in them.

Correct. So that means he, so then he's clear. That's what he took. Ah, Joe. Listen, in the amount that he had in his system, what they're saying is the only way that could exist is through a tainted supplement. The way they tested him before, the way they tested him after, the small window of time where he was positive for that thing, there'd be no performance enhancing benefit for him to take something in a micro dose or whatever. And that it's in such a small amount that it had to be a tainted supplement. They got them the actual supplement that he took, the dick pill supplement.

It had it in it. That contained that stuff. And he got punished for that. This is not like a steroid that he took where it made him a better fighter or made him a better athlete so to play devil's advocate here so that that stuff that comes in those dick pills you can get from other steroids but it happens to be in those dick pills you certainly can correct but but that's one narrative that you to clear that you could say what's in these dick pills i'm not saying i'm saying you can do that that's true but it's in such a small amount in his body,

and it wasn't in his body before, and it wasn't in his body after, which showed that it was only in his body in extremely small amounts for a small window of time. Small trace amount, yep. But a small window of time. So it's not like he had, it's not even like this stuff,

which is a metabolite, which is showing a response to the body, the body responding to the steroid then let me ask this joe okay why does no other fighter have any pico pico grams that this pulsating effect really well that's not true i mean other fighters have tested frank meir tested positive for something got two years um tom lawler tested but frank meir didn't go through the same steps that john jones did he didn't provide them with i forget what the exact there was there was something that john did also that lowered his sentencing and remember he was an informant yes he was cooperating with USADA. Yeah. Or agreeing to cooperate with USADA.

Yeah. Then we're just cool with that. Listen, I don't even know what that means. I don't either. But let me ask you this. If I agreed to USADA to be an informant of an undercover snitch. Get stitches. Correct.

Unless you're John john then no one can beat you up so you're fine but the thing is is the only way i can inform you is of something that of that i'm knowing that i know of i can't inform you of just off that speculation that was what i asked novitsky i was like if he didn't do anything wrong like and what is he going to offer because if unless he took something unless you know what you're doing like if i'm an informant for the fbi or for the feds for cocaine right i know my cocaine they're not going to get joe blow that makes my fucking espresso they're gonna get the guy who knows the ins and outs of cocaine right that's again that's i'm like all right cool or they have a conversation with him and he says he can provide them with information

on how guys are getting away with passing drug tests. And how would you know about that unless you're in on that? I don't know. I don't either. I'm just saying. Again, to me, all of it is a little too much of coincidence that the best fighter on the planet Earth has these issues. The best fighter on the planet Earth also ran away from a hit and run, smashed into a girl and broke her arm.

He also drove his car into a tree. He's a reckless person who takes a lot of chances and he does some at least in the past, has done some things that are not very wise. This could fall under that. Or it could fall in. Correct.

Again, to play devil's advocate, I'm not accusing him of anything. To play devil's advocate. Or a guy who is that loosey-goosey outside the octagon might have taken some performance-enhancing things. Because that would be the similar traits. Could have, except in this situation it doesn't line up with the facts of what he took in terms of long-term metabolites, short-term metabolites, and medium-term metabolites. The only long-term metabolites existed, which means that whatever he took, he had to have taken a long time ago. Now, the problem with this is, this all comes from that guy, Gregory Rechenkov, is that how you say his name?

You're talking about the one test? What I'm talking about is the study that shows these metabolites is all from this one individual, this guy, Grigory Rechenkov, who was the man from that documentary Icarus. He used to work for the Russian state-sponsored doping program. He's the one who established these tests. And the way he established these tests is very highly criticized by people. Super suspect. Well, it's not suspect. But it's criticized by people. Super suspect. Well, it's not suspect, but it's criticized by people because he injected himself and testicles he metabolized on himself.

And this has not been done on any peer-reviewed tests outside of his research. It hasn't been duplicated. The problem is it's not legal to perform these sort of tests on people in America. You can't just shoot people up with illegal steroids in america and find out what it does to them but they should be able to do that they should i told them to get sean shelby whack them up with a bunch of steroids just sean's down for it sean's down for he wants to get bigger just do it or just do it to vitor bell for wherever he's fighting just set oh yeah just tell him look vito we got an extra couple hundred grand for you on the side just do it to Vitor Belfort, wherever he's fighting. Just tell him, look, Vitor, we got an extra couple hundred grand for you on the side. Just do this and let us do some blood work.

Fill you up with dick pills. Let's see how it goes, bro. Fucking cocaine-tainted creatine. For real. You would do it. Yeah, I don't know, man. I maintain an open mind. I do, too.

I'm not accusing John of anything. But again, for me, and this is just me, it's too much of a coincidence for it to raise some red flags for me. I talked to two independent scientists outside of Novitski where I was sending guys information. They were sending me back. I was sending them all the work that they did. I was sending them all the relevant studies. One of them who was suspicious initially after reviewing all the stuff decided that it doesn't seem like it's likely that it could be possible that he could have actually cheated. He said it's more likely.

Cheated during that time. More likely that the actual, the tainted supplement excuse is, and by the way, the tainted supplement, I'm using the air quotes supplement, was never provided. That supplement was never provided that supplement was never provided so unless they did it to usada usada didn't want to release it the number one question was was it cocaine that was tainted with creatine that was the that was where people thought it came from yeah because it's really according to novitsky when he was working for the government, that would be a really common thing, that creatine was used in cocaine to cut it, because it looks like coke, it cuts with coke, it's normal, it's not toxic. So they would always mix in cheap creatine with cocaine to make more coke. Makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense.

And that's what Nowitzki believed. But that's not what he believed. But he believed that was a possibility. I've heard all sorts of possibilities. Yeah. It'd be interesting to know the actual truth. Yeah. Well, you know, we're not going to know that.

I think we know as much as we're going to know, unless John comes out. Unless John retires and is like, I had a doctor, and he would stick it in my fingernails and slowly release. Yeah, some high-advance microdosing. He would never admit that, though. Nobody ever admits it unless they get caught. It would tarnish your legacy unless it's like an MLB thing. But so many people were quick to jump on the he's a cheater bandwagon. I'm like, man, you got to be careful with that.

You got to be careful with that. You gotta be careful with that. You gotta be careful with that, but also... You should be suspicious. I don't think that when you saw the Nowitzki go, it's all good, man. It was a dick pill. You go, cool, man.

I don't think you can do that. Well, they definitely didn't do that. He lost a lot of money. I'm saying that's what the fans do. Some he can do that. Well, they definitely didn't do that. He lost a lot of money. No, I'm saying that's what the fans do. That's what the fans do. Oh, right. Some people can do that. I think it's okay to go, God, it's just, I don't know, man.

It's too much smoke here for me. It's okay to do that. What it's not okay to do is to say he was cheating. He's busted. He had the reason he's winning. Why does he have the stuff in his system? Well, no, it's fine to say why does he have the stuff in the system. Because that's what I say. Right, but they showed why he had it in his system. Well, no, it's fine to say why does he have this stuff in the system? Because that's what I say. Right, but they showed why

he had it in his system. Yeah, but it doesn't mean you should have it in your system. No, you definitely shouldn't have it in your system. It's not cool to have it in your system. No. No, so it's okay to go, why the fuck is it in the best writer in the world system? What are you doing, dude? That's fine to say. Do you think that there's some shit that's going on right now that they haven't figured out yet that's going to be revealed?

Are you shitting me? Fuck fucking yeah i think so the the the drugs and and those in that underworld is always ahead of the of the testing always always always that's what novitsky said at first but now he thinks it's reached this point where the testing is so good do you know the testing threshold that he tested positive for for the picograms is 2 to 5 thousand times stronger than the WADA threshold? Yeah. So he would have 2,000 to 5,000 times

more of it in his system. Or 2,000 to 5,000. 2,000 percent? The numbers are tough to keep up with. I don't remember. Andy Foster told me what it was. Either way, picograms aren't fun. Andy Foster told me what it was. Either way, if you agree with that, I'm fine. But an insane amount of much higher quantities of this shit for him to test positive in WADA. Like, these tests that they use now are insane. So are the doctors in the undergrounds?

No, this is the thing they're doing. Well, maybe. But this is the thing they're doing now. Well, the thing is, like, if it's so low, you're not going to have a performance enhancing benefit it has to actually be in your system in order to have a performance enhancing benefit but now in 2019 they're actually considering lowering their standards so that say if you do take some creatine and it does have the tiniest trace amount of osterine or something like that that's not going to show up positive anymore which is how maybe they should do it because it's so strict now where

it's tainting guy's legacy you look at josh barnett you look at frank mayor you know josh barnett's another one where they eventually cleared him but jesus christ took a year fucked up man and and then on on top of that everybody knew that he was under suspicion and josh has tested positive before so everybody knew that he was under suspicion. And Josh has tested positive before. So everybody assumed that he was doing something. Yeah, fuck them. Nowitzki told me that the stuff, the testing is so good now that if you and I were in this room and I had a jar of creatine that had steroids in it and I popped it open and the fucking dust got in the air and we ingested that dust, we would both test positive. From opening a jar in a room.

And that's crazy and good for them but i think there's an elon musk of steroid peds out there who's like yeah cool man you guys are testing for this we're over here you dumbasses i bet he's got a lot of y's and z's in his name yeah yeah yeah he's just rich as fuck it was like a glass house hell yeah probably dead as we're speaking they probably shot him in sleep now yeah i mean they they just applied to all our did you see icarus did you see that i did insane man oh i know the length people go to well the whole russian anti-doping program was horseshit they were just doping people state-sponsored doping and the fact that they had rigged the sochi olympics

so that they they got fake piss do you and you think they're the only country doing that china did it for sure they said they did in beijing china's like they were breaking gold gold medals and i think it's funny how people are like this is ridiculous how could russia do it like oh my god everyone or even with john like i don't i don't let's say john did do some illegal shit that we don't know of and he got away i don't give a fuck dude i really don't i think a he got away I don't give a fuck dude I really don't I think a lot of guys are doing things

I think it's part of every professional sport NFL, NBA, NHL especially fighting it's just that's the nature of the beast well it's certainly a nature I mean it's definitely comes with the territory

it's definitely part of sports because it works you know what's interesting is like why is it okay to take regular creatine? Regular creatine works probably as good as micro dosing any of this bullshit works. You'd be surprised, but yeah. Yeah. I think there's some micro dosing shit out there that the NFL guys can get their hands on or MLB that you're like, God damn.

Well, they say that micro dosing actual testosterone is more effective because microdosing actual testosterone doesn't produce any random weird metabolites yeah and that's what a rod was doing he had like a form of gummy bears where right before he'd bat he'd like pop this gummy bear this like home run and then by the time test them after the game he's good that's so crazy so and then how much did they take away from him after that oh my god His the whole legacy was tarnished Yeah, were you with me in Vegas time? We had strip steakhouse and a rod was there and he was like two smoke shows and No one like everyone's like that fucking guy. Were you there with me?

I don't know I forget everyone at the table was like fuck that game like why he's awesome Like dude all the steroids like yeah'm like, yeah, playing baseball. Everyone's on steroids. You hate him because of that? That's a funny thing, though, that you're a cheater thing. Like, that was the thing with Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa. Hate to tell you, the guys pitching the balls to them also juiced to the gills. It fucked with Sammy Sosa so much, he turned himself into a white guy.

And went, fuck this noise. I'm going white. Going super white. Went ultra camouflage. Yeah. Not working because he sticks out even more now well he's still doing interviews and dresses like a asshole what is going on no he does interviews but just assumes like it's all good yeah he's like dressing up like the plantain peanuts man yeah he is and then when someone brings it up he's like what what do you mean what's wrong with my skin i just use a lotion people are like well you're white bro and he's like what about it yeah i like to look like this like no i know but what the fuck are you doing

he's like bleaching yourself with just straight up lotion do you think he has spots on his back that he can't reach no i bet his girls she's like dude we can't have these fucking spots like your goddamn delimation back of his dude how about his dick there's no way all his dick wrinkles aren't black like you're not gonna get all that probably looks like a root like a branch off with the the whitening stuff do you have to to get all the nooks and crannies of the dick you have the taint do you get your asshole bleached imagine if you have a black hole for an asshole or does he look like a jersey cow is there just spots all over something to think about bro it's just oh wow look how white he is he doesn't look bad there but

it looks like he's wearing makeup doesn't look good he looks like a goddamn dick tracy character it looks weird because you know what like the the inside of his eyelids like that's dark do you know i'm saying because you can't really get the whitening cream dude he looks like a goddamn vampire you can't get the whitening cream Dude, he looks like a goddamn vampire You can't get the whitening cream to your Well, if he was a regular guy And that's what he looked like That'd be normal

I mean, that's like Joey Diaz's skin color But it's like you get to his eyeliner Go to his eyeballs Make that larger Like, look Around his eye is dark And his earlobes Oh, that's weird

The earlobes are freaking me out yeah and the inside of his nostrils oh yeah you can't look in it's darkness it's a nightmare well it's strange but he digs it I guess he likes it dude how about he's happy how about how hard were we howling at Joey Diaz story the other night

the comedy story oh my god I'm telling you he fucked up my rib that's what he used to look like jesus he was a black guy oh yeah black cuban did he he held court last night too same spot oh my god oh my god he told this story about him taking a shit i sent me a picture of his shit me too the next morning woke up he sent us pictures of his shit he goes this is check out voodoo stick he's talking about how how he's eating this isn't a bit right he's not he's eating sauerkraut and farting on the plane and lauren hill was like what the fuck man dude yeah i was

sweating and my i'm telling you the next morning i woke up i'm like did i get punched in the ribs like oh no fucking i texted her i'm like dude your story fucked my ribs up last night yeah i had to run away i was about to go on stage i had to run away from him before because I wouldn't have been able to think about my material. I wouldn't have been able to think about what he was talking about. I was laughing so hard. He's the goat.

I gotta wrap this up. Oh, my bad. You got the FBI guy. CIA. CIA. Yeah. A little different than me, huh? Maybe talk to him about fucking Picos.

See what he says about them. I'm all about Picos right now. I don't know why. I can't. It's just in my head. Well, it's a fun thing to run with. Navitsi's like, Jesus Christ, Shub, shut the fuck up. Saturday night, San Diego.

You'd be surprised. I know, man. Brennan motherfucking Shub. Showtime. Comedy special. Special. That's right. I'm running my one hour at Flappers in Burbank the night before on Friday.

Then you've been banging it out, man. You've been hitting the road hard. Edmonton, everywhere. You've been touring. Grinding, bro. Punching it in. Yes, sir. I you've been banging it out, man. You've been hitting the road hard. Edmonton, everywhere. You've been touring. Grinding, brother. Punching it in. Yes, sir. I'm proud of you.

I'm excited. I can't wait. Saturday night. We'll see you. Bye, everybody. Thank you.