The Joe Rogan Experience - JRQE #1 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: October 16, 2013

This podcast is currently only available as audio. This podcast was recorded during the production of "Joe Rogan Questions Everything" which originally aired on SyFy.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is not real. We're pretending that it's real. Don't pretend carefully, properly. Joe, you should go to Canada. I heard there's a hum there. Get the fuck out of here. The show's over. And cut.

That was perfect. Just kidding. Okay. So there's a lot of people that believe that the government not only is capable of manipulating the weather, but does manipulate the weather. And we know that they've done certain things. Like we know that people can make it rain and not just at a strip club. But people can make it rain by spraying certain chemicals into the clouds or seeding clouds, cloud seeding. They have actually done that in the United Arab Emirates. They've made it rain 50 times last year.

So they do it basically once a week. But this is – I've heard it's dangerous. Like the chemicals that come with the rain are poisonous. Is that true? I don't know. Well, it's weird chemicals. Sprayed out of an Arab's jet. I don't think it's weird.

Let's say cloud seeding. It is weird. You never in human history has anyone flown over a desert and sprayed chemicals into a cloud. Okay. Let's find out. Is cloud seeding harmful? That's what a lot of people want to know, Duncan Trussell. And when studying the efficacy and consequences of cloud seeding experience,

the experimenters tend to be biased towards saying cloud seeding with silver iodide enhances precipitation without negative consequences. However, much of the literature substantiates that not only does cloud seeding fail to achieve the desired effect, it also yields harmful consequences. Also, look up that guy who ate silver, iodide. Oh, the guy that turned purple? Yeah, the blueberry man. Yeah, what happened there? You eat silver.

These people eat silver out of some—they think it increases their longevity or their virility, and it makes them turn smurf blue forever. So this is one take on it, and there's other takes on it. That's the problem with the Internet, right, is that if you really wanted to, you could find a bunch of people that agree with you and just hang in those circles. It's the beauty of the Internet, and it's the problem with the Internet, the fact that there's so much information out there. But if you choose to, you could filter it down and get it to a point where you're not really listening to anybody other than people that support your point of view. I don't need the internet to help me figure out if I want to stand under a cloud pouring silver iodide crystallized rain into my yard. Like if someone gave you a choice, do you want to stand in a rain shower of pure, clean Hawaiian water? Or would you like to stand in a silver iodide rain shower enjoy those relaxing silver particles spilling

into your skin well here's the other uh side of it they can also prevent it from raining um we know china did that during the olympics and uh other than preventing rain for the olympics it says here in this article on space dash explorers.com whatever it says here in this article on space-explorers.com, whatever. It says here in this article that other than preventing rain for the Olympics, China is spending $60 to $90 million a year on cloud seeding to provide enough water for its enormous population to clear away smog from heavily polluted areas. Right. So that's their way of dealing with smog. Hey, do you think we should put mufflers on our cars?

No, just make it rain. Just wash it. Oh, yeah. Just push it down into the ground. Silver, iodide, water. Good. It's really good for pollution. China's going to give...

China's going to birth a Godzilla. They're fucking around with... Oh, we can't say that. Yeah, again. We'll beep it out. No, I think... Be yourself, goddammit. I think that's a powerful weapon, though, man.

It really is. If you wanted to attack a country and you could make rain stop, then you would have full power over that country. If you could control their weather, you definitely would win. And then the question is, if you could do that, how do you know you can do that? Well, you have to try it. And how did you try it? Did you try it just during the Olympics or did you know about it beforehand?

Have you been using it on countries? Have you been aiming it in places? Like, how do you try it? Did you try it just during the Olympics or did you know about it beforehand? Have you been using it on countries? Have you been aiming it in places? Like how do you do it? Is it very specific or can you misfire? And people can get caught in drive-by accidental cloud seeding where it would rain in a place where you didn't want it to rain? That doesn't even make sense. Drive-by accidental cloud seeding. Ricochet, stray clouds.

You get hit by a stray cloud. That would be a great drive-by to get hit by he made it rain on my family i'm not even a crip now besides the chemtrail issue which uh we've i've met with a bunch of people so far on this chemtrail issue and there's certainly some there's certainly some possibilities that the government at one point in time has sprayed something from a plane for sure. But the idea of this constant spraying in the skies, the idea of this constant spraying in the skies seems to be much more ignorance than anything else. I agree. Yeah. And not just ignorance, but like on purpose, like being willfully ignorant ignorant like not looking at any of the things that refute the things you're saying scientifically people with no agenda instead looking only at

the things that support it what you know confirmation bias like pure and simple and there's people that make entire documentaries this guy that that i met with this guy um michael murphy he's got these two documentaries what What in the World Are They Spraying? and Why in the World Are They Spraying? And he refuses to look at anything that points to the fact that what he's measuring, when he's measuring like aluminum, he's saying, look, we found aluminum in this water. What he's measuring is dirt, and dirt is rich in aluminum.

I mean, it's real simple stuff. So that in saying that this is a part of some nefarious plan and some secret thing that he's uncovered, he's being a ridiculous person. Also, I like to think about the specifics of the person flying the plane that's apparently dropping the poison onto the earth. Like, who are these mysterious pilots? Do they have breakfast with their family? Do they sit down and chat about, oh yeah, going to spray aluminum dichloride over New York, honey.

And the other thing is, it's so nonspecific. I mean, everyone down there is the enemy. Yeah. Or everyone down there to be experimented with, including billionaires, bankers,

politicians. They're all getting sprayed on. Everybody really. What kind of asshole would do that? That's the real question. And not only that, what a shit result. Like, it barely does anything. I mean, stop and think about all this spraying.

Imagine if you had something where you can spray the sky, completely cover the sky in this spray, this chemical spray. And what does it do to the people down there? It makes Prince freak out. It makes Prince freak out. Almost worth it. Have you seen that? We've got to pull that up.

Pull up Prince Talks About Chemtratrails this is very important actually put it's a youtube video prince talks to dick gregory about chemtrails it's hilarious it's hilariously awesome and it it it highlights a lot of people's ignorance about this issue like they haven't even looked into what creates these clouds and this was a paper that was published by the United States military in the 1940s. And they didn't call them contrails back then. They called them persistent condensation trails. And they were trying to determine that these clouds that they were making with propellers, by the way, that these clouds, whether or not they were dangerous. And the same conditions were always discussed.

It's always like super hazy. And it's at a point just before clouds are created, like a point in the condensation of the atmosphere where it's almost cloudy. It's just kind of hazy. And when they cut through with a plane, it creates artificial clouds. And when people say they're spraying clouds, no, they're actually making clouds by driving through it with a plane. I mean, it's really simple stuff. Yeah, I've never really bought into that stuff. But I have had somebody explain to me how they're putting poison into the air.

Someone explained that to me while smoking a cigarette. While taking big puffs on a cigarette. They're poisoning us. The deadly chemicals in the air, man. They just want to control the population. Yeah. I've seen people talk about saving the environment while they drive a Prius and throw a cigarette out the window. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

But, you know, I don't – honestly, I don't understand what makes those things up in the air. I think they're pretty. The crisscrossing patterns of clouds. They're nice to look at on a picnic, but I air i think they're pretty like i've the crisscrossing patterns and clouds they're nice to look at on a picnic but i don't think they're poison and why is it that they keep appearing near airports that's crazy why would they spray near the airport because that way they could do it right under our noses man the biggest lie is a lie that you don't even have to tell right everybody tells it for you p.. The government could probably release free packs of cigarettes that say on them, these make you depressed, and people would just willingly buy them.

You don't have to secretly dump chemicals on Americans. We're gulping them down every day. We love chemicals. Sit in front of a 7-Eleven and watch those pigs come flapping out of there with their big gulps and their pasty, glistening sugar lips and fried hot dogs. You don't have to poison Americans. The idea that you have to actively and secretly poison Americans is insane. It's ridiculous.

So I think we both agree on that. They obviously know how to manipulate weather, and they obviously have manipulated weather before. And by they, meaning everyone but us. Okay? I don't think you've done any manipulation. No. So let's just include the whole rest of the population. Okay.

Someone out there has figured out how to make it stop raining and they've also figured out how to make it rain. Yes. The question is how often does this go on and is this a part of our everyday life that we have to concern ourselves with and does it spray down harmful chemicals? Are those clouds the reason why people are finding aluminum in the soil well it turns out no aluminum is one of the

most common elements on earth and it's you can find commensurate levels that they've been finding in these tests that they've done that prove chemtrails are real you find those everywhere all over the country the reason being because fucking aluminum is everywhere yes aluminum's everywhere so that's something we know we don't have to worry about. So we've got that put aside. So A, planes create clouds automatically, proven. B, aluminum exists in the atmosphere all the time, proven. All right.

It doesn't mean that they haven't sprayed things from the sky. It doesn't mean that they're not capable of altering the weather. We know they are, right? Sure. But then also, isn't there always toxins coming off of airplanes no matter what? Jet fuel that's on fire. Yeah. And it sprays.

And by the way, that's one of the biggest factors in global warming is jets. Right. Giant tubes filled with flammable dead dinosaurs that you're flying over the sky. Right. And that spraying, that over the sky. That's spraying. That's the real spraying. The real spraying is burning jet fuel above your face, stupid. Exactly.

That's the poison. They really are spraying us. Every time you fly to the Bahamas, you're chipping in. That's what I heard. Every time you fly your fat kids to Disneyland, you're incinerating like 19 acres of rainforest. I don't think it's that much, but I feel you got it. I exaggerated in a lot of different ways when I said that. Now, the other aspect of manipulating weather that's fascinating is HARP.

And I think HARP stands for High Altitude Active Auroral Research. Let's find out what it stands for. I don't know. H-A-R-P, just so we know. It stands for, oh, I spelled it totally wrong. I spelled it H-H-A-R, which is the Hebrew home for the aged in Riverdale. Okay. Not the same thing.

That's what's going on. Don't go there and yell at those people for controlling the weather. Jewish elderly people are making it rain. They don't even know what you're talking about, and they will hit you. Okay. High Frequency Active Aurora Research Program. Yeah. it rain and they don't even know what you're talking about and they will hit you okay high frequency active auroral research program yeah and this is a fascinating thing because what this is the official use of harp is that they they send these radio waves up into the ionosphere and they can manipulate it and by manipulating it it can aid in communication

they could shut down communication and they could possibly make it so that they can send radio signals and receive radio signals from very far away what's the ionosphere the ionosphere that's a good question we should get the official um explanation without me going into my pseudoscience. Okay, here we go. It's the layer of the Earth's atmosphere that contains a high concentration of ions and free electrons and is able to reflect radio. So that's the ionosphere. So it makes sense that they would have this gigantic radio array, antenna array, and that they're sending these charged particles up into the ionosphere and that what they're trying to do is manipulate it so that they can use their radios more effectively.

However, the conspiracy theory, and the conspiracy, HAARP has been blamed for a variety of different events, including numerous natural disasters. The tsunami. Tsunami. Some people think it can cause earthquake. Some people attribute it to something called skyquakes. Have you ever heard of a skyquake? No.

Listen to this. Okay, we're going to play this for you. This is the audio of a skyquake. Let's play the one from Allen, Texas. This is a bunch of people that are standing outside, and they hear this. And the freaky thing they say is that when they hear these things, that you can't pinpoint where they're coming from. They're just coming from the sky. And in order to have something that's that loud,

that doesn't dissipate with distance, you're dealing with some incredible amount of energy. And the big if is as if this isn't a hoax. Right. You could get some dickheads in college that think it's cute to just stand around and go, what's that sound? What is that? And then they go on their computer and add in some sound effects.

Yeah, just slow down a trumpet and put it on your picnic video, and suddenly you've got 15 billion hits on YouTube. Exactly. And again, it's one of those things. It's like, what exactly are we listening to? Sounds cool. I didn't know this was called Skyquakes, but I have heard of this. And what I really like is the Judeo-Christian explanation for what this is.

Because in the book of Revelations, they talk about how the horsemen of the apocalypse blow these trumpets. And that's how you know it's the end of days. So this is really feeding into the apocalyptic Christian theory that we're at the end of the world. And these are the sounds that you hear before the great plagues come rolling through the land. That's what a lot of Christians think. Did you ever see Kevin Smith's movie Red State? Yes, I did. Amazing movie.

And remember the end when they played the trumpets? And that's what got the crazy evangelical. I didn't make it to the end. I was drunk. I fell asleep. It's worth a second look. it's worth a second look um now we also have some recordings of what harp actually sounds like in operation and this is equally freaky that's not a good sound that you never want to hear that

you never want to be out on your porch with your dog, throwing a stick, and you're like, what's that? So what is harp? What do they have, like demons yelling into microphones? I think it's the garbage disposal of the universe. That's what it sounds like. It sounds like a garbage disposal in space. No, this sounds like interstellar locusts descending on the...

When you really stop and think about the fact that there's something on Earth that shoots energy up into the sky and makes that noise, and then above us, what is it shooting into? The ionosphere where there's like thousands of satellites and space junk flying in and just...

No, thanks. No, thanks. No, thanks. We're creeps. We're a creepy species. Can you imagine if chimpanzees were blasting the ionosphere with devil screeches? We would kill them. For sure. We would wipe them out.

Within two days, there would be no more chimps. If we found a chimp with a bow and arrow, we'd shoot it right in the head. You'd have to. You'd have to. Yeah. So this... What's interesting about this... Or dress like robin hood and make a ton of money we had this guy on the show that i interviewed his name is woody norris he's this genius inventor a true bona fide genius he's responsible for over 80 patents he is an audio expert and he listened

to the sounds and reviewed the amount of power this thing puts out. And he believes that this array of antennas absolutely could be responsible for those sounds. And he thinks that it could be responsible for manipulating weather, that you could have a lot of what you would call off-label uses. And that maybe it was initially created to heat up the ionosphere so that they could send radio signals, but along the way, they might have figured out, holy shit, we can make trumpets blow in the sky over Iran. You know, I mean, do you know how freaky it would be? It's like, you know, you get an email from the president, good luck, fuckface, we're

going to war, and then you hear, blah, blah, blah. Yes. You know it's coming, and you hear trumpets in the sky. Just that alone. It's like, listen, listen, we've been thinking. We've been very hasty. Who needs nuclear power, my friend? Please stop the trumpet sound.

Japan has problems with it. We don't want that in this world. No, you know what, man? I think that for whatever reason, it's part of the government's job to every day come up with new ways to kill people. And someone looks at tornadoes when tornadoes hit and thinks, wow, that would make a great weapon. If I could figure out a way to do that, I'd have the ultimate weapon. Because the problem with nuclear bombs, aside from the fact that they kill kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people is they

irradiate where they hit so you end up not being able to move into that area as a good conqueror would want to because everything's full of radiation everything's like chernobyl so you know and with bioweapons it's the same thing well that was the hydrogen bomb that was the idea behind the hydrogen bomb was that you could kill everyone there but leave the structures. Yeah. Can you imagine the pitch meeting where somebody is like pitching that? I've innovated something great. We can leave the structures and kill all the people.

Great, Jim. But with this idea, it's sort of like an in-between thing, which is that not only could you send in tornadoes or earthquakes to wipe out populations, but also you could do it anonymously. No one would even know who was doing the attack. You would just think you were having some bad geological luck for a few years until everything's flattened. And then the UN comes in and it's like, look, we're going to help you rebuild. And then the next thing you know, you've been infiltrated by the empire, taken over, and you don't even know it. It's the ultimate weapon.

So it makes a lot of sense that a government or an empire would want to investigate this stuff. Absolutely. And if this was a possibility, they would certainly explore it and look into it. The real question is, have they ever used it? And that's the beauty of this thing being sort of an anonymous thing. If you really can create a storm, how would you know that someone created a storm or whether or not it's just a storm? You send a nuclear bomb, there's an obvious footprint.

We know where it came from. We know a human created it. They connect the dots. They find out. It's not like throwing a snowball in a car and running behind a bush. When you throw a nuclear bomb, you get caught. Yes.

Everybody knows you're an asshole. You don't need Columbo to solve that one. So the question is, do you think that they've done it already? That's the real question. The question is not, can they manipulate the weather? It's been proven. Can they manipulate with harp? We don't know.

But if they could, have they already? Yeah, I think so. Yeah't know but if they could have they already yeah i'm i i think so i yeah sure if they could if they could they've definitely done it do you think that they could do it with harp i think harp is creepy i'd never heard those sounds before but i've seen that array of um uh antenna and they're spooky looking and also also I heard that security at HAARP is like area 51 level security. And I've also heard that they don't, they're very, very secretive about what's going on over there. So it wouldn't surprise me if it had something to do with controlling the weather. That doesn't surprise me at all. I don't know. I would hate to break up with someone who worked at HAARP. It just rains over your house for a year straight. It's just always cloudy in your neighborhood. Well, let's listen to what some experts say, because Stanford University

professor Amran Inan said to Popular Science that weather control conspiracy theories were completely uninformed. And he explained that there's absolutely nothing that we can do to disturb the Earth's weather systems. And even though the power that HAARP radiates is very large, it's minuscule compared with the power of a lightning flash. And there are 50 to 100 lightning flashes every second. HAARP's intensity is very small. But he could just be a shill. Who knows?

He could be working for the man. Who knows, man? Up there in Stanford teaching all those liberals. He's a lot more credible than some hipster in a fedora with a beard yapping about tornadoes. Are you a hipster officially? I don't know. But I mean, I think I get judged like that. But again, who knows, man? Government has explored and governments of the world have explored how to kill people in almost every possible way from coming up with weaponized smallpox to using nuclear bombs.

So why wouldn't they explore something like the weather? It makes 100 percent absolute sense. And you know what else? For sure, this Omron Inan is not hanging out at HAARP. He's not going up there. He's not talking to those scientists. He's not absolutely clearly informed as to what they're capable of. And there's one thing that really smart people love to do.

And that they love to dismiss things that they believe are silly. Or things that don't agree with what they've stated. And so a lot of these guys that are saying this, like computer scientist David Nadege, who characterized HAARP as a magnet for conspiracy theorists and says that HAARP attracts their attention because its purpose seems deeply mysterious to the scientifically uninformed. He says that. sound and in power output, and they talk about the capabilities of a system like HAARP.

They're like, you're talking about something that's being run by DARPA. Right. Yeah. Let's pull up, what does DARPA stand for? Because I think it's something evil. It's definitely something evil. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Defense.

I mean, maybe that means defense as in they need to charge up the ionosphere to send radio signals. Or maybe it means that a sound robot in the sky is going to eat your babies. Absolutely. And have you seen the other crap DARPA spits out of their hell factories? Those robots that you can kick and they don't fall over? Yeah. Deadly galloping dogs, weird springing attack frogs, death drones. Like, of course they're trying to manipulate the world.

They're on Twitter, though. Oh, they are. I'm going to follow them right now. Bam. The official Twitter account for the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Follow. They have 50,000 followers. Sure.

How many do you have? 75. You have more than DARPA. That's sad. Suck it, DARPA. Yeah. That's what I say. Fuck off, DARPA. 75. You have more than DARPA. That's sad. Suck it, DARPA. Yeah. That's what I say. Fuck off, DARPA.

No, I love you, DARPA. I'd like to come work there. I'm going to Alaska in a couple of weeks to do stand-up. I want to visit. Do you think they'll let me in? Yes. No. I think they will.

No. It's like one of the most secure places on the planet. I bet they'd let you in. That's one of the saddest things when you run into any of these people that you've villainized. And you realize, yeah, come on in. Check this thing out. We've got it. Yeah, we're just trying to make radio waves work better.

And then you leave and they laugh. And then they turn back into reptiles. That fuckhead. I got his phone, too. Let's follow him home and kill his dog. Oh, your dog died of a heart attack. What do you know? Weird.

Yeah, I don't know. So there's some things I've learned today. I didn't know that harp was run by DARPA. I had no idea that there was any connection there. I said that, but let's make sure that that's correct. Harp run by DARPA. I think it's true. High frequency.

And the defense. Yep. Okay. So that's pretty weird. Because DARPA is a notorious creator of things that are without question going to destroy our civilization. Without question going to destroy our civilization. They just gleefully whip up death machines without any concern for what's going to happen 50 years from now. Sort of. Or maybe they just make good defensive stuff to keep the defense.

Defense. Oh, yeah, defensive. The Department of Defense. What's it about, Duncan? Keeping us safe. It's about defense. It's not about offense. It's yeah, defensive. Department of Defense. What's it about, Duncan? Keeping us safe. It's about defense. It's not about offense. It's not being offensive.

You know what made me feel really safe? A galloping robotic dog that can chase me over hundreds of miles. It may or may not have cannons on it. A galloping dog that's half made of C4 that makes its way into your building and then makes a volcano. Guys, I felt so scared. I used to be so nervous. I'd walk around with fear inside of me until those packs of wild galloping cyborg dogs made a C4. Solar powered dogs.

And by the way, they can be solar powered in LA and just run all day. It never rains here. They can be autonomous too. Or they're just controlled by 18-year-olds in trailers outside of Vegas. With Xbox controllers. Yeah. All messed up on government speed. Yeah.

What kind of speed did they give those drone operators? They make sure they're hopped up on the good stuff. If you want speed, talk to a drone operator. They've got the good stuff. They don't need big talk to a drone operator. They've got the good stuff. They don't need big gulps. They don't even drink water. They just have a paste that they chew on. They don't take in any moisture.

Moisture disrupts the effects of the electrolyte imbalance that meth provides. Look up DARPA and the internet. I think DARPA invented the internet. I thought Al Gore did. D-A-R-P-A. I think DARPA did invent the internet because I think DARPA invented the internet. I thought Al Gore did. Well, Al Gore said D-A-R-P-A

I think DARPA did invent the internet. Which is going to create a role. I think you're right too. Involved in the creation of the internet. The history of the internet. Form a group with DARPA.

A group within DARPA. Huh. Brief history of the internet. 1973. Yeah. Well, here's what's interesting. DARPA is also linked to the creation of the internet, which is fascinating. In 1973, the U.S. Defense Advanced Research Project Agency, or DARPA, initiated a research program to investigate techniques and technologies for interlinking packet networks of various kinds. The objective was to develop communication protocols which would allow network computers to communicate transparently across multiple linked packet

networks. So it was created by DARPA, the very thing that will bring down the empire. Yes. It was created by it. Well, see, that's what happens to all mad scientists, is their creation turns against them. That's so true. Frankenstein.

Yeah. It was killed by Frankenstein. It's an inevitability. It is, isn't it? Yeah. So this thing that, so they unleashed the internet. Who knows what else they've unleashed or they're going to unleash. But you know what else the internet did?

Inform people about mushrooms. Right. Maybe that can help them. DARPA needs mushrooms. That's what they need. Imagine the kind of shit that you could create if you had the technology and the resources of DARPA but it was all people and mushrooms. It would be a beautiful world. It would be amazing. Think of what Burning Man would look like if DARPA took it it was all people on mushrooms. It'd be a beautiful world. It'd be amazing.

Think of what Burning Man would look like if DARPA took it over for two years. They would kill all the people begging for sandwiches. That'd be the first thing. They would just take them outside. Oh, we know what to do with them. Like, they don't even care. Even if they're on mushrooms, they'd still just shoot hippies. I thought you just knew you did that.

Come on, guys. Stop crying. Your brother was a loser. Your brother had dirty feet. Come on. Come on, we shot him. What's the big deal? I got more mushrooms. Who wants to sing? Who wants to get in a drum circle? No, they just create drones that shoot poison darts at anything

that smells like patchouli. There's some hot girls that smell like patchouli, though. A lot of hot girls smell like patchouli. Some girls, they wear a little oil. Just a gentle blueberry oil. I love that sweet smell of patchouli and body odor. And begging. The sweet smell of patchouli and bumper stickers.

I like the sweet smell of patchouli because there's usually good acid around. Now, here's the other thing that people think HAARP is responsible for. There's a thing in Windsor and it's called the Windsor Hum. And these poor people

that live in this town that's across the river from Zug Island, which is near Detroit, and these poor people that live in this town that's across the river from Zug Island, which is near Detroit. And these poor people that live in Windsor, they say that their houses rattle, their windows rattle, and sometimes it's 24 hours a day. It's just, that's how they all describe it. And no one can seem to locate the source of it. Some people say that it's coming from Zug Island. And some people say that even though you can't hear it near Zug Island, it gets more powerful the further away you get. And they describe it as like a tsunami effect. They're like a tsunami,

like it starts in one place and then builds up power as it moves along. Well, if you talk to anybody who knows anything about sound, they say that's not how sound works. But they seem to describe it that way. They seem to describe it as a sound that's coming from a place where they can't quite pinpoint where it is. They want to say it's coming towards Zug Island. But some folks say that as you get closer to Zug Island, it actually is less noisy than it is when you're further away from it. It's a really weird thing. And it's not one person complaining about this.

You're talking about an entire town of people. We talked to several people. Not one of them was like, what are you talking about? Does anybody live on Zug Island? No. No, Zug Island is gross. We went to visit Zug Island. Sounds great with such a beautiful name.

Who would think that it would be gross? Zug Island stinks. It smells like pollution. You could buy a house across the river from Zug Island for 500 bucks. That's how bad it is. So what you're saying is there's this low resonant hum emerging from a place called Zug Island. And what Zug Island is for, it's across from Detroit. It's part of Detroit. And they make steel there. And they have these giant piles of raw materials and these furnaces. And we talked to a guy named Gregory Fournier who worked there in the 1960s and it was – he said it was always disgusting and it was always dangerous and it was always environmental hazards.

This is really, really polluted. The river around there is one of the ten most polluted places in the United States and yet people are fishing there and pulling fish out left and right while we're there. It's really kind of scary stuff. But he said that what they're doing there, what they've always been doing there, is manufacturing steel. And he believes that that sound is just a part of the process, the process of creating and making steel. Sure.

That makes sense. It does make sense. What doesn't make sense, though, is the sound itself. When you bring the sound to sound experts and you say, is it possible that this sound was recorded six miles, five miles? Is it possible this sound was recorded X amount of miles away from a source and was this loud in a person's house? And they say, no way.

We met a guy in Windsor named Gary Gross, and Gary recorded some sounds that he says are the Windsor hum. All right, and listen to this. We're going to play it for you. Huh. Now imagine being in your house, and there's something you hear like this. And he is miles away from Zung Island.

miles away from Zung Island. I mean, it sounds like you're outside a nightclub. It sounds like high-powered bass speakers inside a building. Except there's nothing near him. He's just in his house, and everyone in his neighborhood feels it as well. So you're not talking about something that's like a car that has giant speakers that's right outside your door, and that's why you hear this. What you're talking about about something that's like a car that has giant speakers that's right outside your door, and that's why you hear this.

What you're talking about is something that somehow or another is making these people's houses vibrate like this from miles away. We don't know of any kind of sound that can do something like that. What is Woody's last name? Woody Norris. last name? Woody Norris. When we played this sound for Woody Norris, who is an acoustical expert, an engineer,

brilliant genius, he said there's no way the industrial process could make this sound. He said that the amount of power that would be required to make a sound like this, that would travel that far and not dissipate in the environment, is incredible.

Yeah. Now, is this something that has been documented? Yes. More than this. Yes. This sound has been documented. This sound has been documented by the people that live in the town. It's been documented by the politicians that try to get the explanations for the citizens.

But if this is a sound that is emanating from Zug Island Island. It would have to be insanely loud on Zog Island. What people are saying, though, is that when you're around it, when you're in the river, it's not that loud. It's when you get further away that it's doing things like this, that it's vibrating people's windows, vibrating their houses. There's no known explanation for this and when i talk to this guy who's an audio expert he says that in order to create a power output like that you're talking about an insane amount of power sure yeah no that's that's an that's a really really intense sound and it'd be a bummer to have to deal with listening to that because that is a depressing sound that's a sound like in my neighborhood when that sound starts you you're not sleeping that night because someone's

having some idiot party until 4 a.m it sounds like a party it sounds like bass speakers it sounds like but that would be like your neighbor you would have to be like really close for that to be affecting you like that i'm just saying if you that as a weapon if you wanted to if you were experimenting with weird forms of weaponry and you could blast that sound over someone that you were fighting or someone that you wanted to disrupt that would do it because that is not a pleasant sound right but that i don't i don't think that that's what anybody's claiming. I think what they're claiming is that this is a side effect of the use of this technology. And that most likely what Zug Island is, is some sort of a repeater. And that these people are experiencing the sound outside of the island because of harp.

How close is it to harp? It's very far from harp. But what they're saying is that Zug Island could be a repeater station. And the other thing about HAARP is that HAARP, although it's really far away, the whole purpose of magnetizing the ionosphere or rather charging the ionosphere, shooting these waves into the ionosphere, is so that they can transmit long distances. waves into the ionosphere is so that they can transmit long distances. So what the conspiracy theorists believe is that Zug Island is some sort of a repeater station. So these people who live in Windsor across the river from Zug Island are getting this crazy sound echo thing going on. That's rattling their buildings.

No one can explain it. Shaking their windows. I mean, these people have really freaked out. And again, it's not like a couple people were talked to is this always happening it happens quite often and it's dissipated apparently and that's where the heart proponents believe that what's happening is that they've realized that they're making the sound now so they've turned down the power output i don't i don't buy it man i think if you're dealing with this super advanced DARPA project that can shoot out things into the ionosphere, they're not going to be like, hey,

let's turn Zug Island outside of Detroit into a base speaker so that everyone can freak out. No, that's not what they're saying. They're not saying that they're doing it on purpose. What they're saying is that this is a side effect of what they're trying to accomplish. I don't think anyone is saying that those skyquakes are something they're doing on purpose. What they're doing is they're doing some sort of experiments. And in doing those experiments, one of the side effects is this very strange sound phenomena. So we're going to go there and see and investigate and talk to some of these people and find out if this holds up. But it's a very interesting possibility and these sounds are very unique and you know very ominous and weird

yeah they're definitely weird i just i wonder about the darpa connection but if you go there and actually hear the sound i'll be more likely to believe it it's the kind of thing where if i knew someone who'd actually heard the sound themselves, then I don't know. It just seems so easy to fake. It seems so easy to drop these kinds of things into sound files. Totally. I totally agree. The thing is, though, the compelling thing is that all of these folks, it's well documented that these people have been complaining.

In fact, when I went through customs, the guy asked me, what are you here for? And I said, I'm here to listen to some hum. And he goes, oh, the Windsor hum. I go, what is that? He goes, it's probably something going on at Zog Island. Like right away. This is the cop that works at the border tells me this. Did you hear it?

No, we didn't hear it. But we heard a lot of industrial noise. Right. And it didn't sound anything like that. What we heard is like a lot of clanging and trucks moving and stuff like that. Is there any fracking going on around there? No, no. That stuff's mostly done on Canada.

What they're doing there is they're just creating steel and they're mixing the raw elements to create steel. And they have furnaces and there's a lot of industrial stuff going on there. And it's very high security. But the high security could easily be explained in that that steel and creating all that steel is very important to the industrial output of the United States. It would be – if you were looking for a place to disrupt our economy or to mess up an area, that would be something that would do a lot of damage. See, I didn't know that. You just mentioned that. You didn't say it's a high security area.

I think that's really weird. If this is just supposed to be some toxified industrial island, I think there is something suspicious about there being the combination of a massive amount of security around a polluted island and some bizarre Godzilla noise rising up out of the nothingness. That does seem to indicate that there's more going on there than just making steel. You're right. It's very possible. However, it's also very possible that what you're dealing with is high security because they're creating steel there.

It's incredibly dangerous. They're working with volatile materials. They're also probably doing a lot of environmental damage that they wouldn't want people to investigate or people to shine cameras and expose all this. I mean, it stinks there. And when you go there, the water is like greasy with whatever the hell they're leaking into it. The guy that we were with was telling us that it floats green. There's like this glowing green shit that you see in the water. So it's not healthy.

It's definitely stinks. It's like this glowing green shit that you see in the water. So it's not healthy. It definitely stinks. It's definitely bad. We were thinking while we were there, like, we're breathing this in. Like, this is like we're taking in fumes. Yeah, Detroit is a crazy place, man. When I went and performed at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle. Awesome spot. The guy who drove me there, he told me that he used to buy eight balls and go camping

like who does cocaine camping kid rock yeah i don't think he could blame detroit or zugg island on that but i feel you yeah detroit is the worst person in the world to be a book that's the worst place in the world to be a book there's 47 illiteracy rate they call it the first american ruin yeah because there's so many parts of it that are just gone dude across from zug island you can get a house in detroit for 500 we saw them they were telling us about it and we saw amazing it's incredible and you don't want that house well no it's got toxic mold and it's next to the moaning of Baphomet. And the smell, the smell is horrible.

The smell in the air is, it's really a shame. It's a shame. I know you need steel. I know that they need it. But first of all, to do it right there in a highly populated area like Detroit and to do that kind of damage to the environment, it's just sad. It's sad. It seems archaic. It seems like some shit that they should have figured out how to

do better a long time ago. And it kind of makes sense that if you're disrupting the environment at that level in some place, then there's going to be unexplained side effects, like some odd noise. I don't think that is the case. So this is the thing. I don't know whether or not the noise

and the industrial output are connected. It makes sense when you look at the sound and the sound is coming from this spot and you look at the spot there's a lot of machines moving there's a lot of digging in the ground there's a lot of making steel Occam's razor would dictate the sound is probably coming from there right but if these people are to be believed these people that are talking about this sound and the rattling the houses it's too much power it's too much, it's too much power. It's too much power. It's too far away.

And it's too strange. It doesn't seem to make sense. And what it could be is that we're connecting these two events together. But they're not connected. And that although Zug Island is a place where they make the sound, where they're creating, or rather, although Zug Island is a place where they make steel, that this noise is not emanating from Zog Island, but in fact is coming from the sky itself, from harp. It's just that people are assuming that Zog Island has something to do with it because Zog Island's gross. So creepy. And that it's just a coincidence.

Super creepy. It is creepy. That sound, if that sound is real, is very creepy. Yeah, it's horrible. But you have a good point, too, is that we didn't hear that sound. And unless you, even if it was like someone you really know, how do you know whether or not they're really recording that sound or whether they're getting wacky and getting on their computer and creating it and saying, I'm going to freak everybody out. And I'm going to bring some more cause or more people to this cause, more eyes and ears to this plight that we're suffering here. When really it's just normal industrial noise that people are complaining.

Yeah, you got to go there and see. And if you hear the sound, which I bet you won't, then it'll be interesting. Why do you bet I won't, man? Maybe I will. How dare you? I will. How dare you? I think the sound of Zug Island is the sound of people's neurons frying as they smoke Detroit-level crystal meth in the basements of their $500 crap homes.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's the sound of your brain rotting inside your skull, bouncing back and forth off the bony walls. There it is. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine, though, if you were in your house and you're hearing this? It would be the most annoying thing ever. And these people say that it could be 24 hours a day, and that sometimes they'll get up in the middle of the night to pee, and then they'll hear that sound, and they'll never get back to bed.

They also said that for some reason, it seems to correspond with the rain. They said when it's stormy and rainy, sometimes there's that sound. That is where the harp people come in because they think that that's not a coincidence. And they think that the rain itself might be rain that was created by harp. And that's why these people are saying that whenever it rains and you hear thunder, that's when the sound is more prominent. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. So a symptom of weather being controlled by harp is low resonance sounds, sky quakes. That makes sense. This sound.

Think of that. It's raining out and you hear this sound. And you know that Big Brother is fucking with the sky and making it rain above your shitty $500 house. That's leaking. And you're like, is it bad enough that I'm here breathing in toxic farts and living in a $500 house. That's leaking. And you're like, is it bad enough that I'm here breathing in toxic farts and living in a $500 house? You guys got to shake my three remaining windows

with your stupid sound? All I want to do is smoke my mess in peace. There's a physicist named Brooks Agnew who says that he can demonstrate

the effects of harp in a box that he's built. And he creates artificial clouds. He has like one of those misters. You know how you buy like a bonsai tree at the mall and they have like the fog that's flowing out of it? Those are beautiful, aren't they? Well, that stuff is very similar to clouds, that vapor, that water vapor. The stuff they puff out at clubs.

Yes. No, that's a smoke. That's the shit that Michael Braverman likes. he likes to put that when we're doing promos the fuck he likes to fill the air with that shit you know i love you buddy um no the um it's actually uh it's vapor it's water vapor but this guy claims that he has this device that can create the same sort of effect by charging the particles that are inside of this box that he built. He can actually prove the effects of HAARP. Well, he's saying that there is a correlation between the e-cigarette smoke in his box and actual clouds. Well, what clouds are is vapor.

It's moisture and it's in a condensed sort of a, well, I should probably actually have a technical explanation because I just ventured into bullshit. I do that all the time. I felt myself doing it, but I pulled back. I'll tell you what a cloud is and I'll never, I have no idea what a cloud is. It is a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals made of water or various chemicals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of a planetary body.

Okay. So now you know. So that's a cloud. It is clouds. What this guy is creating is essentially the same thing as clouds. He's using moisture and he's using this machine that does something and it creates... It's e-cigarettes.

E-cigarettes are an ionizer that creates water vapor that has nicotine uh infused into the vapor just like steven dorf's awesome commercials no hey guys come on guys let's take back our freedom so this is saying that if this is like if a giant steven dorf were breathing e-cigarette cigarette over America, it would be clouds. And if you had a machine, you could zap the clouds and make a tornado that takes Stevendorf away like the house in The Wizard of Oz

where it lands on the witch. Yes. Just like that. And then DARPA would finally have done something amazing for the world. That would be the second best thing they did since the internet. Look, Stevendorf was awesome in Blade, okay?

Yeah. So you need to step. I stepped. Blade won. The best Blade ever. Stephen Dorff was the bad guy, and he was amazing. Sure. He was amazing.

Great. So shut it. I'm sorry, Stephen Dorff. Yeah, please apologize. He's too easy. Thank you, Stephen Dorff, for making our clouds. Stephen Dorff is the Nickelback of actors. It's too easy to pick on him.

It's not fair. It's rude. It's too easy to pick on him. It's not fair. It's rude. It's cheap and it's rude. He's the rape joke of actors. We need to stop. We need to stop with Stephen Dorff. By the way, if Stephen Dorff happened to be flipping through channels right now and heard that, he's going for his pistol. Well, don't shoot me.

As long as you're going to shoot yourself. Death is inevitable, my friend. Okay? But murder, you don't want to murder charge. Please don't kill yourself, Stephen Dorff. Don't do it. You're going to be fine. So is inevitable, my friend. Okay? But murder, you don't want a murder charge. Please don't kill yourself, Stephen Dorff. Don't do it. You're going to be fine. So look, I think that it's an interesting thing.

The box, I would wonder if the clouds in this box are identical to the clouds that are actually floating over land. Because I think the definition you just read, it's ice, crystals, chemicals. This is just like ionized vapor. So I wonder if it matters. Well, it's actual liquid droplets. It's a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals made of water. So it's close enough. Or various chemicals.

Like there can be a toxic cloud too that's not water droplets. Chemicals can actually form toxic clouds. And he's saying that by shooting some form of electricity into this stuff. This is what he says. So we're going to see. We're not going to see. We've already seen. So we're going to change shirts and we're going to go right into this because this guy's an idiot.

Okay, awesome. So I go to visit this physicist named Brooks Agnew. And Brooks Agnew has a box that he's got this artificial clouds that he's created with this mister machine. Yeah. And he believes that he has this machine that clouds that he's created with this mister machine. Yeah. And he believes that he has this machine that can dissipate the clouds. So we go and do the experiments. First of all, here's red flag number one. We walk in the door and his friend, there's a photo of an Indian man with white paint on his face.

So I say, what's up with this dude? And he said, he underwent an amazing transformation of his body 10 years ago, and now he no longer needs food or water. And I go, no, he didn't. And I just walk out of the room. I go, no, he didn't. He goes, you have to meet this guy. I go, no, I don't. No, I don't.

I don't have to meet him. And that guy eats. Stop. Get away from me. And I knew right away we'd made a horrible mistake. Because this is the dude he's partying with. Okay. It's not the scientist.

It's a scientist's buddy. Okay. So we go in there. Brooks has this machine. And in this machine, he's got the clouds. And he's like, now I'm going to turn it on. And so he turns it on. And we're seeing the clouds dissipate fairly rapidly.

And we're like, hmm, this is interesting. The clouds have dissipated fairly rapidly. But then we notice this motherfucker's got a crack in the door. So the clouds are sneaking out of his door. Okay, so now we tape over the cracks in the door. We turn it on again. Now it doesn't dissipate at all. It just sort of hovers there.

But there's some weird funnels coming off of it. We're like, well, it does seem to have an effect. Well, then we open the door and touch it, and it's hot. So this stupid machine that he claims is changing the ionosphere and the tube and and making the weather manipulate it's just hot it's just a big stupid hot electrical box and when it gives off heat heat rises and it you know it goes through this stupid fake clouds so nothing nothing. But here's what's crazy. Not only did this guy thought this, but that this guy thought this enough to build a machine.

And that he did this and said, this is so good, it needs to be on TV. Yeah. That's fun, though. Going crazy is fun. I'd love to go that crazy. Do you know how fun that would be to be seriously constructing a weather machine in your house? That would be a blast.

So he's enjoying life and he somehow, his weather machine summoned a TV crew. And you know what's really crazy? That's magic. He's a white guy. Whoa, who'd have thought? It's, you never see white guys with these unfounded claims.

It's really rare that you see a bunch of white guys in their late 40s, early 50s, possibly into their 60s. Post-divorce. Post-divorce. Just eaten alive by depression like wormwood. Yeah. You know? Waking up and spitting out pieces of their teeth from grinding all night long and then going to work on your weather machine as your tears disrupt your experiment when you contemplate how your wife left you because you wouldn't stop talking about harp. And then you call your friend over the E-Tarian who knows a dude who actually is an air E-Tarian who just eats air, doesn't have water, doesn't have food.

That makes sense to you. This is the guy who's hanging out at your house. And go what do you think you want to help me put this together i think you're on to some amazing work amazing i think you're doing amazing work so they put together this stupid thing and it doesn't work and uh and you flew out to that no i drove this was in luckily it was in california but not only did we drive but this is how stupid we are the guy said there was a mistake with the experiment and he wants to do it again. So he had them do it again. So the camera crew went back a second time.

And guess what happened the second time? Fucking nothing! Fucking nothing happened! Nothing happened! Nothing's gonna happen! You knew nothing was gonna happen! You wanted the camera back again. This guy probably has seen the secret like a thousand times and he thinks that if he really truly believes that this is a weather machine then it becomes a weather machine yeah or something

by the way the next season of this show you are going to be riddled with trolls who realize that you guys will come out to anything it's too late what do you do just email the sci-fi channel and joe rogan shows up at your house if you've farted in a box dude it's way too late for that did you see the photo that i tweeted yesterday of me uh with this stupid fucking apparatus on my head because some asshole claims that this stupid apparatus was going to uh detect electricity that comes off of my eyeballs look at this this this fuckhead got me to wear this this guy got me to wear this and inside guy got me to wear this. And inside this thing, this goggle, inside

the goggle is like a sensor and the sensor reads the electricity coming off your eyeballs. So he's talking in all these scientific terms and he's got a degree in Canada. And so he tells me that this device measures the electricity coming off your eyeballs

and that theoretically you could feel this electricity on the electricity coming off your eyeballs and that theoretically you could feel this electricity on the back of your head scientifically explaining the psychic phenomenon that a lot of people believe in, which is that people can tell when people are looking at the back of their head. So this fuckhead gets me to put on this stupid thing. I got glue all over my head. Lucky I'm bald because then I just have to clean my head. If that was in my hair, I'd be pissed.

Yeah. Especially if I had some beautiful like Joey Lawrence in the 90s hair. Just something flowing. You know, and it's all this gooey shit a boy can dream. So anyway, I got these goggles on and the goggles have a sensor in. And he shows me that on this EKG. Is that what it's called? EEG?

I don't know. Whatever it's called. He shows... EEG? Yeah. Electroencephalogram. He shows me on this computer that the EEG setup is reading all the electrodes on my head, but also reading the one that's in front of my eye.

And then it's a very similar signal, thus indicating that electricity is coming off of your eyeball, like the evil eye in scientific form. So I say, hmm. So I look at his test, and I go, did you ever try just putting it on your hand? And I just put it on my hand. And it's the same thing, the same signal. And the only time it's not the same signal is when it's shaking, because I'm going, it's the same fucking signal. And the only time it's not the same signal is when it's shaking because I'm going, it's the same fucking signal. You made me put glue on my head and I'm holding your wacky space goggles that you think can measure eyeball rays.

You fuckhead. Look what you've done to me. I'm mad. And I said to him, I said, how did you get, again, same thing. How did you get on TV with this? How is this not just a dumb idea that you fucked around with with your friends, but you got so far that you went to a producer and said, well, this is what I can do, and he went, I like your moxie.

I think this is going to really happen. I think this is going to be an amazing segment. Once they show that you are correct and that you can shoot rays from your eyes and that I can detect this from your eyes and I can detect this this is gonna be fantastic stuff you could probably be on dr. Oz after this show Wow but no it's just another white dude with unfounded claims in his 50s and access to aluminum foil he had aluminum foil and head glue has anybody looked into the correlation between starting to like aluminum foil and going

insane? It's like hats that they make out of. I mean, that's literally where tinfoil hat theory came from. Somewhere along the line so many fuckheads had tinfoil hats on that people actually came up with that expression. Like, if you say that expression, the tinfoil hat brigade,

people know exactly what you're saying. You don't have to say conspiracy theorist. You say, oh, he's one of those tinfoil hat wearing motherfuckers and then it's the conversation's over if you aren't using aluminum foil for cooking there's a 15 chance you've gone insane oh what is what is it about aluminum and that's the shit that the chemtrail people look for too it's yeah the chemtrail people look for, too. Yeah, aluminum. The chemtrail people, they're always claiming they're spraying aluminum. It's all aluminum with these guys. You know what's crazy is the ground is mostly aluminum.

There's a lot of goddamn aluminum out there. Apparently, it's super cheap. Jamaica. What's that? Jamaica is a's that jamaica is a source of aluminum jamaica is a source of aluminum yeah they probably well it's apparently according to scientists it's one of the most common minerals known to man yeah and it's everywhere it's also what you put into an apple if you've lost your pipe you can smoke weed from an apple and aluminum foil aluminum foil pipes yeah that's the foil, though, buddy.

It's not the same thing as the mineral that's in the ground. You're talking nonsense. You're talking crazy. Foil isn't made of aluminum? Yes, it's made of aluminum. I don't want to talk about it too long, or we'll both go insane. Is aluminum foil just aluminum,

or does it have anything else that's mixed into it and heated down? It's kind of fascinating that they can make metal that you can just rip super easy. This is the downward slippery slope. Well, it's kind of fascinating. Yeah. They can make metal that you can just rip super easy. Here's this. This is the downward slippery slope. Well, it's kind of cool. Aluminum foil is cool. It is cool. You could take an apple and you could wrap that apple up in it.

Sure. You could take a piece of food and wrap it up in this metal. Put it on your girlfriend. Turn her into an android. Don't do that. Because chicks are always going to think that you really want an android. And then you're going to make them insecure. I do want an android.

Never make a girl do dress up, bro. Who says that? You're going to make them insecure. I do want an age mark. Never make a girl do dress up, bro. Who says that? I just, like, I try to take away your favorite thing in life. You're like, who the fuck are you? That's like saying never put salt on french fries.

How far do you take dress up, though? Do you take it all the way to furry? No. Like, at a certain point in time it's weird like there's a certain amount of dress up in the society that we allow like you're allowed to wear a toupee through the metal detector at the airport yes but they will make you take off a fake beard if you have like a fake if you walk through and you got like an abraham lincoln beard with a chin strap and they're looking at you like look at this motherfucker with his you you know, like a little tie behind your head and a big, stupid, fake beard. They're like, you have to take that off, sir.

Yeah. But they'll allow you to wear a toupee. If as long as it's like pinned down somehow. Oh, once Al Qaeda finds out about that, man. They know now. Yeah. It's over. There's a certain amount of dress up that you're allowed to do.

Sure. Right. So you're allowed to wear a ball gag, but you can't like a mascot you know i'm not i'm not against any of it but i'm saying you can't be a furry me no anybody if you're a furry if you're like dressing up like a mascot yes open up the front hatch and having sex with each other you're fucking crazy right if you're someone who likes to dress up like a girl likes to wear leather or she likes you to tie her up yeah she's just a freak yeah okay but if she wants to dress like bugs bunny and she wants you to come in her face that's crazy that's a friend what is what the fuck is the furry thing with the mascots? I don't know. That is, that is really creepy. And the furry stuff I can kind of understand, but like, it's when people are like putting

like holes into their Eeyore stuffed animals and fucking them where stuff gets weird. Yeah. That gets really weird. Like a fleshlight in a giant Barney the dinosaur. Yeah. Thank you so much for tuning in to Joe Rogan questions everything. We're going to cut to commercial. Well, this is going to be released as a podcast, too.

That's what we're doing. We're taking an audio form of this, and we're going to put it out as a podcast, too. So nothing will be lost here. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. It's better that way, right? Wouldn't it be great if TV was advanced enough to recognize that no one's being offended anymore by anything?

Yeah, right? At a certain point in time, they have to accept that when podcasts start having the same exact commercials, and they're pretty close, as television does, then they're going to have to accept that. Yes, that's right. Yeah, and I can't wait for that to come out. On the other hand, I just heard Al Madrigal actually did this interview.

They asked him what his least favorite song was and he said that Macklemore song about thrift shops and he said the reason is it's like having to explain to your daughter what jizzing is when your kids listen to it

there's apparently a song in the Macklemore about pissing on a who's the rapper who pissed on the 15-year-old? I have no idea. R. Kelly? R. Kelly. There's apparently some reference to R. Kelly in the song. And Madrigal's pointing out how it puts you in a weird place when your kid is asking who R. Kelly is

and why they're talking about him pissing his bed. That's ridiculous. Why is he playing that kind of music around his fucking kids his kids kids love it kids listen to this how old are his kids i don't know well if they're young if they're under 15 they're young that's rude well i think kids can get to this music it's not like you're you're playing it for them it's like they find it they find it online yeah like god like like my your dad's porn like it's not like your dad's like come here look at this pussy it's like you found the porn right so kids find that's the problem i mean i think

his point would have to do strip club with with thrift shops would that have to do with thrift shops what do you mean that's the name of the song the name of the name of the song's thrift shop it's just he made the point he made that i thought was interesting it's like yeah i guess if i had kids it would put me in a weird predicament if I'm always having to explain to them adult concepts. Because I have to either decide between lying to them or telling them the truth. And that's a weird place to get into with a kid. And now, in 2013, that's not really necessary anymore. Because by the time a kid gets to be 13 years old, they've seen it all.

Yes, that's true. I mean, remember how much shit you saw that your parents had no idea? Like, did you ever see any like faces of death stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, for sure. Yeah. I mean, we saw a lot of shit that no one ever saw before us.

Well, yeah, right. But we never saw, I mean, the stuff that kids are seeing now is just. But we were the first generation. See, we were the first people with VCRs. See, our family, like our parents did not grow up with VCRs. Right. So when they grew up, you either saw something on TV or you didn't. And you didn't get to see it again.

The only time you saw it again is if they played it again. And they never played anything again. They played a few movies like every now and then. They would tell you King Kong is going to be on again. You'd know when you'd wait for it. You'd have to watch it as it was happening. So our generation was the first generation that had

tapes and we would get something and stick it in something and press play when we wanted. So we were the first people to take that next level information thing. And what did we do with it? Faces of Death, Barnyard Betty, like some of the most fucked up, heinous things ever.

Like within a few years of making VHS tapes, they had a whole series of Faces of Death. And that's when the UFC came out. All these different things, like the early UFCs were like that. Like a lot of people thought that what you were watching wasn't a martial art. They thought what you're watching was just like some faces of death type thing like oh my god we're watching cage fighting this is crazy it became a martial art but in the beginning it

was like more of a freak show than anything yep but the kids today that's a that's a joke the kids today like a beheading what is that that's nothing i heard that barnyard betty i heard for teenagers anal sex is second base like they are fucking each other in the asshole before they're having vaginal sex no yeah that's like a night of making out you probably end up sticking your cock in a girl's ass no where are you getting this first of all on a chat room or something this is, whenever someone says to me that teenage kids are having more anal sex than ever, I always say, why are you even researching teenage kids and anal sex? Oh, let me see your Google search history.

It's going to pop up. For the last five years, that didn't pop up once. Kids and anal sex? Not kids. Only if we had this conversation. Teenagers and anal sex, those are kids. If you Google search anal sex teen right now, you will get more results than moon landing. I think they mean like 18 and 19 when they're suggesting.

Yeah, of course that's what they mean. But that's not what you mean when you're talking about kids. You're not talking about porn. You're talking about kids having sex. Here's a real shocker, America. they're suggesting. Yeah, of course that's what they mean. But that's not what you mean when you're talking about kids. You're not talking about porn. You're talking about kids having sex. Here's a real shocker, America. They're 15, 14. Kids fuck in high school. Let me send a bolt of terror through the country.

Kids are fucking in high school. God knows I did. People are not ready for this. You should slowly work this in. Yeah. You shouldn't just say, hey, guess what? Your kids are fucking. Teach them abstinence. What if someone's been in denial? denial what if they just been in denial just humming christian songs as they

walk around the house thinking the kids at school just learning meanwhile she's just someone's balls deep in her ass in a dumpster right now yeah they're hiding behind a cardboard box she's getting fucked so hard she's using telekinetics to lift cars. And that sound, the Windsor hum is filling the sky. Blum. Blum. Her eyes roll behind her head.

She's squirting. Blum. Blum. she's squirting mom mom you got squatch all over you squatch yeah well that happens man kids are fucking

my mom bought me a box of condoms when I was in the 10th grade she gave me a box of condoms cause she knew I was gonna be fucking she's like just wear these condoms she'd seen my girlfriend wow she knew I was going to be fucking. She's like, just wear these condoms. She'd seen my girlfriend. Wow. She knew? Your girlfriend was a dirty girl?

Not just dirty, but kind of like albino, like swampy. Like she was like that. You have to wear condoms. Albino and swampy? That was your first girlfriend? Holy shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Albino and swamp. That sounds like a Stephen Lynch movie. David Lynch. David Lynch. Stephen Lynch is a singer. Ah. That is a David Lynch movie. Translucent skin, blue veins.

Lives in a swamp. Blue veins. Extra long clitoris. You don't know whether you say something or not I'm just gonna deal with this it's not quite a finger but I mean it's definitely a finger

that's been bitten off like a nub it's a nub I wouldn't say it's a finger it's like a finger that lost a bar fight when do you talk about the length of a girl's clitoris like what do you think? Immediately after you get done fucking her to your friends. It depends on how big it is.

If it's totally normal, it never comes up. Right. Yeah. You know, I've never discussed the length of my wife's clitoris. You shouldn't. It's totally normal. I'll tell you right now, there's nothing special about it. It's a regular vagina.

It looks great. It's awesome. Great. It's good design. You don't need to fuck with it. It's a regular vagina. It looks great. It's awesome. It's good design. You don't need to fuck with it. It doesn't need pinstripes. But the crazy ones, the ones that are weird, it's like, what is that? Is there an evolutionary advantage for looking like a moose with a gunshot hole in it?

Oh my god! I don't know who that is! What is it about some of them that vary so widely? But at least with a woman, I don't think they vary so much. Well, I guess they do vary in size, but it doesn't have any social stigma attached to it. In fact, if a girl has a very small and welcoming, tight little area, that's probably better than a big, crazy, loose thing. So it works the opposite for them than it does for us.

For us, it's an evolutionary advantage to have a large penis. I see what you're saying. Big Rasputin-looking. We looked at Rasputins yesterday. We were looking at it. Oh, yeah, I've seen Rasputin's cock. It's in a jar. I heard a story that Rasputin was at a bar

and telling people that he was Rasputin. And they're like, whatever, you're not Rasputin's cock. It's in a jar. I heard a story that Rasputin was at a bar and telling people that he was Rasputin. And they're like, whatever, you're not Rasputin. He's like, I'll show you I'm fucking Rasputin. And he like pulls his giant tree trunk cock out. I'm like, yeah, you're Rasputin. It's in a jar. It's 11 inches soft. It's a big jar, too.

It's like that would not fit in a regular mayonnaise size jar. You got to get a Costco jar. Yeah, you would have to get a Costco jelly bean jar jar they have a special cock jar it's just for cocks but his cock was like that is a that cock is is a bad thing like it didn't that cock is a um uh a death hammer like that's a thing that you can even still now. It's however many hundreds of years it's been in that jar, you can still feel evil coming off of it.

Maybe you can feel evil. I feel a bunch of player haters who chopped off a giant guy's dick. He's just a regular dude with a big dick, slinging dick, giving out bubble gum, having a great time in Russia, which, by the way, sucks. It's freezing cold. Everyone's an asshole. They got their ass kicked by the Mongols and they never recovered.

So they're up there freezing their dicks off. And one guy comes along just swinging a monster hog and having a good old time. And he hypnotizes all the girls in the area with his dick and his willy ways. And he winds up being a superstar amongst all these women. Including the czarina the the czar's wife he was given the fucking king of the land's wife the dick that's the problem fuck yeah son yeah he was hanging around all those chicks he's one of those dudes like arnold schwarzenegger if he's hanging around you he's fucking you here's the thing you can't cheat with

rasputin because like if you're in bed with your wife and you look down at her vagina and it looks like a sinkhole, you're like, you fucked Rasputin, you asshole. Vaginas would look like craters after experiencing that. This is like, it's a cock the size of the width of an encyclopedia. Well, I hate to break it to you, but regular vaginas have babies go through them, which are much bigger than a cock. And they snap right back. If your wife gave birth the next day, wouldn't you be able to tell? Dude, yes. But Rasputin's dick was not nine pounds.

Babies are nine pounds, dude. Vaginas are crazy organs. They stretch out and pop out a baby and then snap back shut like a clam. They don't snap back shut like a clam. It's a slow snap back. No, they stitch up any tearing. They snap back like fossilization. It's like a slow congealing, right?

How do you know? Trust me. I've been through it three times. Trust me. My wife's vagina is excellent. They stitch that shit up. There's some tearing. And I think when they stitch it up, they have that Benny Hill music playing.

Because they know that you're going to do it again. You're just going to get pregnant again and blow it out one more time. God, that's spooky. more time right it is weird though how nature didn't build in the uh it's weird that that's that there's a tear it's funny that it's it's not built so that it just pops a baby out without there being damage or pain well that's how chimps do it you ever see chimps give birth no pull up see if you can see uh chimp giving birth see if we got a video online the way chimps give birth? No. Pull up. See if you can see a chimp giving birth. See if we got a video online. The way chimps give birth is they just reach in and pull it out. And that's it. And they're done.

They just reach in, pull the baby out, put it down, clean it off a little bit. And they don't come out helpless either. I mean, obviously they need their mother, but they're not like us. We come out incredibly helpless for a long time. We can't even walk. We can't do shit. We can't even control our own heads.

We just fall forward. Our heads are so big that we have to be born way earlier in the process than other animals. And our minds are so complex that the gestation process takes a long time. Here, look at this. That's the baby. She leans back like she's in an old school Tracy Lord's movie. And she just grabs a hold of hair on the baby. And she's just squeezing it out.

It doesn't seem like she's in any pain at all. No. And she's just squeezing on her... It's very casual. Her vagina. And the baby heads are slowly popping out. And she's just trying to figure out when to get a grip on it. And the male's coming over to check it out.

There's no doctors. Not a sanitary environment. A terrible mural. Not a Filipino lady to be seen. Try going to a hospital and not seeing a Filipino. Good luck. I don't know why. That is true.

They just make awesome nurses. They're drawn to hospitals like moths of cancer. She's sitting there while this baby's coming out of her body it's just the the evolutionary process is so strange and when you see like a life coming out of a life it's one of the weirdest things you could ever i've seen it several times now you know twice in person and it's uh it's a trip man it's really a trip it's interesting how the i'm assuming that's her mate but i don't know like the other ones like yeah he's watching he's concerned it's interesting she's most likely a whore and she probably fucked every chimp in the whole group and she's just trying to look at this wow she's she's just bending over and he's checking it out now.

She's like, what do you see? She's so flexible. Yeah. She's like, what do you think? Is it ready? And he's just, not yet. Wow. And she's like, it's so weird.

Like, okay, now she's squeezing him out. There we go. Whoa, this is crazy. Plop. Oh, damn. That needs to be an animated GIF file. Yes, it does. Like the moment the baby comes out and the puddle that it creates and the male is hanging over to it.

She's eating it. She's eating the placenta. She's eating the placenta. They eat the placenta right away. I've heard that you should do that. That is a fucking trip. That is such a trip. What's really a trip.

Oh, that is so sweet. They're both licking the little chimp. so sweet they're both licking the little chimp what's really a trip is that chimpanzees are some sort of a distant relative of us and at one point in time our ancient ancient ancestors are probably very similar to this and that something happened and we kept going and we went from that to this well that that seems a lot a lot sweeter and more natural than doing it in some sterile room with people wearing weird clothes. Well, that's not sterile. I mean, that's not natural. That was in a zoo, dude.

That was on a slab of concrete. How natural is it for a chimp to give birth on concrete? You're absolutely right. I don't know why I said that. That's what's kind of fucked up about the baby coming out on that hard surface. Like, if they were in the jungle, the jungle's soft. It's like when we were in Seattle looking for for bigfoot the set the ground yeah it's very soft like you could shit out a kid there with no problem easy yeah if you heard about the father

zod and the source family do you know about this what father zod and the source family the source family i can't it's a cult i can't remember if it's Manson or father Zod but in these cults you know the women of course they give birth after they get impregnated right and this guy as I recall I'm trying to think if it's Manson I got my cult leaders mixed up I can't remember which one but in one of these look up father Zod umbilical cord that classic search six search the NSA is knocking on my door as we speak please hmm no no it's just this documentary where it's the point is that a woman gave birth and I can't remember if it's Manson or father Zod but one of them chewed the umbilical cord off like bit it bit through it it's probably father Zod because I never heard that story yeah it's Father Zod because you'd hear about it with Manson. It was Father Zod, but it kind of makes sense, you know? Now, looking at that video of that chimpanzee given birth on the floor of that zoo, like seeing that animal, how alien that is to you or I, but not that much.

I mean, it is alien. It's an animal, but it's kind of human-like in a lot of ways. Sure. Aware, intelligent, paying attention to what's going on, you know, and the two arms and two legs thing. Yeah. It's so similar. It's so strange. And it's so strange to think that somewhere in the past, that's if you believe in evolution.

Which you shouldn't. Which you shouldn't. But that somewhere in the past, allegedly, we were something like that. Sure. And that we were all sort of developing along a similar line. And one of us became you and I. One of us became a homo sapien, became a human being. But there's other ones.

There's the homo florensis, that little hobbit man on the island of Flores. Yeah. There's Neanderthal. Notice how I said tall because I'm very educated. Not thal. No. That's the old way. I'm current.

Yeah. Thank you. I judge a man by the way he pronounces Neanderthal. If you say Neanderthal, you're kind of an asshole. I'm an asshole. You are an asshole. Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's how Anderson Cooper says Neanderthal.

You're right. God damn it, I'm gay.. You are an asshole. Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's how Anderson Cooper says Neanderthal. You're right. God damn it, I'm gay. Neanderthal. There's nothing wrong with that. Neanderthal. Sounds better anyway, Neanderthal. Whatever the fuck it is, the island of Flores, man. It's a three-foot-tall hobbit, man.

Really fascinating thing that until a few years ago, they thought was just horseshit. They really had no idea that 10,000-plus plus years ago there was this little tiny man running around. And running around the same time there was grown humans like you and I, or rather our size, even though we're both short. The question has always been, are there others? And the question has always been, if there were others, where the fuck would they be hiding? Right.

Well, they didn't find out about gorillas until the early 1900s. But that's sort of a disingenuous thing to say, though, because the world of the 1900s doesn't even remotely resemble the world that we see today. Right. Because the world that we see today, we pretty much have a good account of what's alive in almost every place. Absolutely. We might have missed a few spots. Like, there's some weird shit. Like, every now and then,

they'll find, like, a weird frog in New Guinea or a deer in Vietnam that's been hiding in the jungle, and they're like, whoa. But where people are not willing to go is with another intelligent animal. You could say you found a previously unknown deer in Vietnam,

which did happen recently. Sure. A couple years ago, in fact. Big animal, like the size of a white-tailed deer, completely different species they weren't aware of before. But it lives in the jungle, and you go, well, I can kind of see that happening. Yes. But the idea of an intelligent thing, that's where people won't budge.

The idea of an intelligent, ape-like, human-like thing. Another branch of the evolutionary chain of lower hominids to human being. Another branch. Yeah, it's interesting how in the news when you hear about they discovered a new lizard in the Amazon. It's like, oh, whatever. Who cares? I'll think about that for four seconds. It's not interesting at all. I don't even want to look at a picture of it. But if they came out and said, we found an intelligent ape-like being living in its own civilization in the depths of the rainforest, that would make news forever. Yeah, that would change the world. Yeah. So it is interesting that we do.

It's not a surprise any other species that gets discovered out in the great vast wilderness that still exists but for whatever reason we immediately disregard the idea that there could be another form of super advanced primate out there somewhere and they found primates very recently in fact they found this little pygmy primate it's a little tiny little monkey thing it's really small though so we don't really give a shit about it no it's like so so what? So you found a tiny monkey. But if you found a seven foot tall monkey, they would go, holy shit. What is that? But didn't they just find something akin to that?

Like didn't you, what did you call it? It's called the shit. It's some very rare carnivorous ape. Yes. Pull up an image of the Bondo ape. You could see one that got shot. And you can see this animal. And this is an animal that up until, I think, 1996, they didn't have any photos of it. There's a wildlife photographer from Switzerland named Karl Arman.

And Karl Arman went to – that's a really old picture, right? Isn't that a picture from like the early 1900s? Could be. I think that is i think that was a picture where it was a huge chimpanzee and they didn't know why that that that chimp was was so big that's the one that got shot now this is uh a chimpanzee that's way larger the other tv doesn't work yeah it's off okay for a reason yeah okay that's you can see that thing yeah but i'll just look at it man no you don't have to look at it you can see that thing, yeah. I'll just look at it, man. No, you don't have to look at it. You can see that thing behind you.

Just look at it. Look at the size of that fucking thing. That thing does not look happy. That's like you don't want to stumble onto that thing. They shot it. But it looks like a gorilla. It doesn't look like a chimpanzee. It looks like a gorilla.

And it's called the Bondo ape. And up until the 1990s, this thing was just a myth. It was a legend. And it's an enormous chimpanzee. And the locals in the Congo, they say there's two types of chimps. There's the tree beaters and the lion killers. And the tree beaters are

these smaller chimps that swing from tree to tree. The lion killers are these Bondo apes that are giant chimps that sleep on the ground like gorillas. They're not scared of anything. They sleep on the ground. They don't have to hide in the trees. To this day, the reason why people have their master bedroom on the top floor

is the whole chimpanzee idea. You get to the highest branches where you're the most protected, and that's where you rest. That's crazy. I never knew that. But, yeah, you're absolutely right. What? The penthouse.

It's at the top of the building. That's the best part of the building. Because the leopards can't get there. Whoa. Yeah. That's crazy. I never knew that. That is crazy. It's so ridiculous.

Well, these animals that are so big that they're not even scared. They don't go to the top of the trees. Probably the branches would break because they're probably several hundred pounds. I mean, they're not like a small chimpanzee. I mean, they're like three plus, maybe even four. Right. So you're dealing with an enormous chimpanzee. I mean, they're like three plus, maybe even four. So you're dealing with an enormous chimpanzee that occasionally will walk upright. There's a camera trap photo of one. See if you can pull that up. The Carl Armand camera trap chimpanzee.

You can see this thing walking upright. And they're six feet tall. It's enormous. So you're talking about a chimp that's four inches taller than me. And it's huge. Just gigantic muscles. Probably as strong as a thousand pound man. Yeah.

And they got a video of one eating a fucking leopard. And here's the important note in relation to Sasquatch. They just found the thing. 1990. You have a six foot chimp that walks upright wandering wandering around in nature, and no one's discovered it until just now. No one's gotten proof of it until just now. Yeah.

Look at this thing. This is the picture of it walking. It's walking upright. That's a shit resolution. It's hard to see in that photo, but that thing is walking hunched over and upright, and it's six feet tall. Those are devil chimps. Their heads look like skulls.

Look at their heads. They're enormous. Well, devil chimps. Their heads look like skulls. Look at their heads. They're enormous. Well, they have a crest on their head like a gorilla. They're the only other primate besides gorillas that have a crest on their head like that. So they thought initially, before they ran DNA tests on them, they thought initially that they were a hybrid between a gorilla and a chimpanzee. But now it appears that it's just a subset of the chimpanzee species. But now it appears that it's just a subset of this chimpanzee species. Yeah. So to me, that is one of the things that exist in the world that make me think it's possible that there's a Yeti or a Sasquatch. Because how could you not discover something that's that size, that is that unique?

If something like that can hide from modern society for so long, after the invention of cameras, after the invention of helicopters, then why couldn't there be something like a Sasquatch or a Yeti or something like that still out there? Yeah, they found the gorilla, like we said, in the early 1900s. They didn't find this for almost 100 years after that. Right. And we know that chimpanzees are intelligent, but we also know that they're not nearly as intelligent as people i don't know if that thing was hiding from people or it was just in a place that was so remote and so hard to get to the congo is enormous right i mean it's really impossible for us to to wrap our heads around it's like almost as wide as the united states is it's huge i think is that that correct google that please um it's it's enormous it's it's many many many many millions of square miles right and so the it's not without outside the realm of

possibility that this almost impenetrable jungle can hold a bunch of different animals in it but the difference being this animal looks like another animal that we already knew about that's why it's not that crazy right bigfoot is a totally new thing you know you're saying there's an animal that no one's ever found look at the size of that that's the congo cheese louise from top to bottom it's almost the same height as uh as the united states huge that's giant and that's all jungle so the um the idea that this is a Bigfoot though, that's where it gets real squirrely because you're talking about a totally undiscovered primate that lives around people and gets real close to people but never when they have their cameras out. Never a picture that is – a picture like what you just showed me of the Bondo ape. Never a picture or video where you it's

indisputable it's it's very similar to ufos or ghosts or any other thing like that it's every picture is easily discounted or at least we're not quite good enough right not quite good enough yeah every photo is like man that might be a Sasquatch. Right. I don't know. It's hard to tell. Hmm. Right. Hmm. Not a single camera trap.

Do you know how many camera traps are out there now? Hunters use them. They set them up on trails, and they put these things out there, and what they do is they take a photo. Either they have two ways of doing it. Either they take a photo every three or four seconds or five seconds or whatever you set it for, or they act on motion. So when they see something walk in front of them, a flash will go off and they take a photo. So they'll either be night vision, they work at night,

or they'll work on a flash system. None of these things have ever caught a Sasquatch. Can I play Sasquatch advocate here? Yes, please. Okay. So you've actually pointed out these tigers that were on some other island, on an island that evolved in some – It's lions, actually. It's in Africa. Relentless enemies, National Geographic special. Okay. So I point that only because we've seen cases where evolution happens rapidly. It doesn't happen over the course of, you know, hundreds of thousands of years. Sometimes it seems to happen in a really fast way. And there would be an evolutionary advantage for a being like a Sasquatch to avoid humans. In fact, there's an evolutionary advantage

to any creature avoiding humans, because we like to eat things. We love eating things or turning them into our slaves. So there's an evolutionary advantage to staying the hell away from us. So in that way, if a primate somehow evolved in the same way we did, and we've made supercomputers and robots and space shuttles, if for whatever reason, something similar to us went into a different direction, which is a direction of being closer to nature or tied into the earth, part of that evolution would be avoiding the crazy bald monkeys. They eat you. They enslave you. They will have sex with you if they can.

Stay away from them. So in that way, it could make sense that a super advanced primate would be able to smell a human scent on a device like that. And they just stay away from it. They avoid it. Why couldn't there be some new reclusive primate? Animals run away from me all the time. It's possible. It is possible. And when you say it like that, you bring up a lot of awesome points. I mean, if you were going to be a primate that was super intelligent and figured out how to live in the woods, the smartest thing to do would be don't let people know about you. Ever.

Stay away. And I mean, the real question is how smart are these things? Now, if you talk to the, let's give a broad spectrum of wackiness. Sure. If you talk to the, for the UFO hunters, the wackiest of wacky think they're people. Sure. For the UFO hunters. The wackiest of wacky think they're people.

They think that they are the spiritual beings that are very human-like in form. Like, they think they have a human face. It's just a very dark face and that they're just covered in hair and they're a type of wild human that lives in the woods. Okay. I mean, there's some really – there's a lot of variation in what they believe that they're capable of. Sure. But ultimately they're talking about a giant bipedal ape that no one's taken a picture of. Sure. It gets a little sketchy.

Well, I mean, again, to play Sasquatch Advocate, if you look at a monkey jump, like whenever you see a monkey run up a tree, just a monkey, if you watch how graceful and powerful those things are, and you consider you ever being able to do that in a million years, you see how much more advanced in certain ways, just a chimpanzee is. So imagine if something had an equivalent form of advancement when it came to being able to camouflage themselves or to hide, you know, maybe these things are just so good at hiding that maybe the part of evolution that made chimpanzees able to camouflage themselves or to hide. You know, maybe these things are just so good at hiding that maybe the part of evolution that made chimpanzees able to climb a tree in five seconds and humans able to build a Chrysler, maybe that part of evolution made these beings able to hide in a super skilled way.

They can cover their tracks. They can hide in the shadows. Why not? skilled way they can cover their tracks they can hide in the shadows why not it would be a great advancement for a being to be able to hide in a in a in a i've lost my train no you're right you're right you're absolutely right a great advancement for a being to be able to hide that way i'll say it would be a great advancement for a being to be able to hide that way yeah you pull up a video uh bear runs up tree startles hunter you know that video this is a pretty famous video these guys bow hunting and while they're bow hunting this bear just decides to make a break

for it and runs up the tree not that weird you know bears climb trees i think we both know but did you have any fucking idea how fast they can do it i i haven't this bear gets 20 feet up that tree in a matter of seconds. Right. Like this. And all of a sudden he's up there looking eye to eye with this hunter. Exactly. I just want you to see it. Just to put it in perspective.

Let's look at it just to get a peek at it. Watch this. So here's the guy. The bear comes close to him. I don't know if this is the same one. Did you check this one? The other one was sideways. I was trying to get something fast.

Let's see. What do you mean it's sideways? The other one I pulled up, the video was sideways. Oh, really? Yeah. Pull up. Let me see what the other video looked like. Let me see.

Oh, it's sideways. Yeah, that's the right video, but it's sideways. Does it stay sideways the whole time? I didn't even bother to look. Go a little further up. He might figure out the fuck he's doing wrong. Yeah, that's the right video, but it's sideways. Does it stay sideways the whole time? I didn't even bother to look. Go a little further up. He might figure out the fuck he's doing wrong. Yeah, he does. Now get a little bit further up, and here's a bear.

Now watch this. Watch this. Watch this bear move. Okay, give us some volume. Okay, the bear's already up. Give us some volume and take it to right when the bear makes a run for it. So the dude is up in this tree stand. He puts this food out.

And the way you hunt for bears in a lot of places, it's not legal in California this way. But in a lot of places, they let you use bait. And by bait, they usually mean donuts. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They take donuts or something sweet and they put them in a barrel so that this bear will go to that barrel. And then while he's looking for his food, that's when kill him it's really kind of douchey doesn't look fun at all it's kind of douchey but if watch this bear run look at this check this out look he makes

a bolt for it and then just watch this the guy obviously fucked with his camera here what is that this is wrong you can show it what's wrong with this video is this a bad video why are we not seeing this okay figure it out something wrong with that video

here's the point is that this bear runs up this tree the way you could run straight sure like he literally runs straight up the the tree it's it's pretty fucking insane right this is not the same video you can stop now but that here's the the here's the essence of the thing when you look at a chimpanzee and you look at a human what are some of the similarities well the similarities are both have figured out how to use tools in a rudimentary way. Chimpanzees use sticks to get termites out of the ground. Humans use cars to get to their jobs. Why isn't there the possibility that another primate, instead of evolving the ability to use tools or instead of just evolving that ability, they used – they evolved the ability to camouflage themselves? Because in nature, if you're a hunter, what's a better skill than to be able to hide?

There's almost no better skill. In nature, chameleons or almost every creature that is a predator, their skin has adapted to their surroundings in a way that makes them blend in so that they could be a more powerful and efficient predator. In that way, why wouldn't a primate not just evolve a skin color or hair color that makes them blend in with their environment, but the ability to hide in a super advanced way. Okay. So I'm going to play devil's advocate. Please. And this is not necessarily what I believe. But if there was really an animal like this, there would be something.

Now, all you have is like Theodore Roosevelt wrote about it in a story about his time in the woods. But when a dude gets killed by a wild man, who knows what really happened in the 19-whatever-the-fuck-it-was back when Teddy was running around. The reality of life today is that if you're dealing with a very populated area, everyone has a fucking camera on their phone. And if everyone has a camera on their phone and no one is getting a photo of this thing, how many human beings are traveling through the areas where these things live? Right. And not one person gets a picture? Now, here's the other problem. It's iconic. It's an archetype.

It's a thing that people go to right away. I think it's very similar to the gray alien with the big eyes. Yes. I think if you are not sure what you're seeing, your mind will create this thing. And one of the reasons that I say this is because I read a lot about hunting accidents. And one of the things that has happened in hunting accidents is that people who are experienced hunters who know that in order to bag a deer, you have to capitalize on a very split moment, a very small window in time where you've got to capitalize on that in order to get the kill.

Well, people have shot people accidentally and sworn up and down they saw a deer. They swore up and down that they saw a deer. Right. And when you're talking about Bigfoot and you're talking about Bigfoot sightings, you're talking about, first of all, it's not a mystery. It's not like you're talking about, you know, finding Rumpelstiltskin or something else. You're talking about something that people have repeated the same stories over and over and over again. You're talking about something that we have a reference to in our heads.

Yes. And when you see something, you might see just a whisper of something. You don't know what the fuck you saw. You saw something through the trees and it's dark out there anyway because there's a canopy of leaves and it's never sunny out. It's always rainy and cloudy. So what are you really seeing?

Sure. But by the time a week goes by or a month goes by or maybe even an hour, maybe it takes you three hours to walk to your car and you're an idiot and you convince yourself

in those three hours that you saw its face and it looked at you and it read your mind, you might be so pumped up with adrenaline and fear and who knows? Just longing for a life with excitement where you're not wandering through the woods looking for fucking shadows. Also, half the people in the forest are high at any time. At least half.

Nobody goes into the forest sober. We can only base that grateful dead we could only base that on our own personal experience and with you and i was 100 so it's 100 of the people in the woods are high yeah because that's all we have we should have got those bigfoot guys high that's where we fucked up they were just drunk we should have got them high we're gonna have big different results i i i really mean it though i'm saying that people go into the woods and they get high yes if you're right if you're gonna take mushrooms mm-hmm what do people always say go take them in the nature take them in the force so and that way I would say that a lot of the observers who are experiencing these a

lot of the people in the woods or maybe under the influence of intoxicants but you don't need to be right if I'm a kid out in the woods are maybe under the influence of intoxicants, but you don't need to be. Right. If I'm a kid out in the woods, I could hear anything, man. You can see things. You can see things. Dragons. Dragons. Bigfoot. Ghosts.

Elves. Yeah, because think of the woods. There's no light. Trees are shifting around. It would be very easy to project anything. And you know that there's a real danger. What was that noise? There was a real danger.

There's a real danger. There's mountain lions. There's bears. There's wolves. The woods contain real things that will kill you. And forget about poisonous spiders and snakes. There's mountain lions, bears, and wolves in the woods. So there's a real fear. So

it's a really highly charged environment. Also, what you mentioned earlier, how people prefer to have rooms on the top floor of a building or a house, examples like that show how embedded into our species is the trauma of having to deal with predators in the wild, the wildness that we evolved in. So it makes sense that somehow inside of our neurology is imprinted the remnants of the, these predatorial forces, the kind of combined racial memory of all the things that used to hunt us and eat us. And when we go in the woods even today, maybe our brains still are on alert or on guard for these things that used to terrorize our ancestors. And people who see Bigfoot are really just seeing a projection of this thing

out into nature. It could be that. It also could be a reaction to being in the wilderness itself which is mostly being experienced by people who aren't native to the wilderness when they're having these experiences even if they're like like normal campers they camp on every weekend they don't live there every day they they live there in short bursts and then they run back to civilization right so in living in that environment there must be some thinking where where you wonder what it would be like to survive out here. Wonder what it would be like to survive out here without nature. Could an intelligent being do it? Maybe he's out there.

Maybe my wood brother is's just as smart as me but chooses to not engage and remain on the outskirts of society eating off the land with its intelligent mind hiding from people yeah it's possible but it's not that likely. It's not likely. That's what sucks. But why is it so sexy? Why is it such a sexy idea? Why is the idea of seeing Bigfoot one of the most exciting things?

If you said to me, Joe, would you rather be able to fly without a plane anywhere you wanted in the world for 30 whole days or go hiking and actually meet Bigfoot. Wow. I would say I'll take Bigfoot. I'll take Bigfoot over 30 days of awesomeness. What is every great dream? You're flying. You're flying in every great dream. And then you land on a girl once I have sex with you.

That's what every great dream is. Okay. This is, I'm telling you that if you gave me 30 days of that, I would say no. I would rather meet Bigfoot because I've got some questions. I want to know if it's real. Well, you know it's real if you meet it. Then what do you have to say? Well, that's why I'm willing to choose that.

You know what Bigfoot's going to say to you? What? He's going to say, why didn't you fly? Look at me. I'm covered in fleas. I live out here in shit land. You could have flown around for 30 days. You decided to talk to some

hairy, failed monkey. Hiding from its tinier, smaller, far smarter brethren. Pick flying. Pick flying. Yeah, they would get mad. They're like, dude, I don't even have a phone. Okay? There's no fucking stores out here.

I'd kill elk with my face. I've been drinking my own piss for the last thousand years. They'd never have to worry about running out of water. But they've never found a water collection device. So that would mean they would have to live near streams. Yeah, well, you know, there's a lot. Look, there's clearly a lot of problems with the pink foot theory. Well, they're really big, too.

But here's some on the pro side. Here's one of the things that they always say is, why haven't we found a Bigfoot body? Okay, well, here's one thing that you need to consider. When was the last time you saw a dead mountain lion? Okay? There are a lot of goddamn mountain lions. I mean, like a thousand of them in probably Southern California alone. Sure.

Like, they're all over the place. There's a lot of them. They're not like a Bigfoot. It's not like a thousand of them in probably Southern California alone. Sure. They're all over the place. There's a lot of them. They're not like a Bigfoot. It's not like a mythical creature. It's something that we absolutely have evidence of, but we never see a dead one. But they must die. They must. If you believe the idea that a Bigfoot is something that has evolved its ability to

hide in a way that's exponentially greater than any other animal, then you can also add to that the idea that they would know to bury their dead. We bury our dead. When was the last time you saw a dead human? Unless you're living in Syria right now. I mean, you don't see them that often. It's a rarity. We bury our dead.

It's not like dead bodies are always dead. Humans are laying around. I'm just saying maybe these apes or whatever they are, they bury their dead, which is why we don't see their corpses anywhere. Right. That's a very good point, and it's a very good possibility if they really were this intelligent thing. And in fact, one of the guys that we talked it to – talked it to? Talked it. Who the fuck am I?

Excuse me. One of the guys we talked to was a guy named William Jevnig. And he is a guy who had his own experience with Sasquatch when he was 14 years old. And the guy did not seem like a kook. He did not register at all. I'll say that again. Did not seem like a kook. He did not register at all on my crazy scale. Seemed like a very reasonable guy. He was an author and he was telling his experience.

on my crazy scale seemed like a very reasonable guy. He was an author and he was telling his experience and he was saying that when he was 14 years old, he saw a fucking Sasquatch. I believe it. He believes it. He believes it. Yes, I think there are people who believe they've seen this thing.

You know, it's for sure. There's no question but that there are people who believe that they've seen a thing. But that doesn't mean that they've actually seen the thing. There's people in Alabama who think there's a leprechaun in the inner cities. It doesn't mean it's there. This dude thinks he knows where Burial Ground is. Oh, now that's different.

This is where it gets weird. This is where I had to go, hmm. Because he was making sense to me. He was a reasonable man. He obviously was educated. He spoke very well. We were having a nice, smooth conversation. And then he tells me that he knows where a burial ground is.

Okay. He tells me he knows where a burial ground is and he says he's known it for 20 years so i stop and i'm going well what are you talking about like if you know where a burial ground is man like hold on a second why didn't you go and dig it up right well you know the sasquatch they're not gonna like it if you do that. Let me tell you something. And this is the same thing that Tom Powell said. Tom Powell, who is a teacher in Oregon, also told us that he's had Sasquatch experiences. Also told us that he wasn't a believer until something happened, and then he saw it, and then all of a sudden became a believer. But also told us he knows where Barrow Grand is.

When I said, tell me where it is, I go, said tell me where it is i go you tell me where it is i'll bring in a bunch of mercenaries and we'll dig this shit up sure like let's find out what's up you tell me you know where it is if it's really a dangerous area i'll bring in a bunch of dudes with guns it won't be dangerous anymore right we'll bring in people with shovels and we'll dig it up come on if it's still there we'll dig it up sure and uh the the fact that they haven't done that is where i start going what are we really dealing with here right when you're dedicating your life to this thing that you have zero evidence of what do you what are we really doing here and when you're telling me that you saw this thing when you were 14 years old i believe you i believe that you believe you it's

what that's what i mean when i say i believe you sure but i don't know i when people tell me stories about shit that i just did five years ago i'll go oh yeah oh my i forgot about him i didn't even i forgot he was even there and then you start re re-imaging right the past in your mind and i think that when you're dealing with something as insane as seeing bigfoot especially bigfoot when you're 14 years old it gets real sketchy so that when you're repeating the story x amount of years later you're basically lying right i'm basically lying when i talk about my childhood okay i know some very vague facts about my childhood. Yes. But when I tell you, I can remember this like it was yesterday. Me and Grandpa was fishing, and Grandpa was the only one who paid attention to me.

Right. And he cared. And when I caught that fish, he was so happy. I don't fucking remember what Grandpa was into. He might have been drunk. He might have passed out. I might have made it all up. I might have danced it all in my head and turned it into a-

I don't remember what I did five days ago. Exactly. The whole thing's a murky blur. I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning. Exactly. Exactly. So when someone tells you about a Bigfoot story, it may or may not be an accurate story. I would say it is not an accurate story.

I don't believe in Bigfoot. story. I would say it is not an accurate story. I don't believe in Bigfoot. And I think that having played Sasquatch Advocate, I have to say, let me give you an example. You know where a Bigfoot burial ground is, right? Like, you know that. You know this thing. I could take you there. I could take you there. You know where a Bigfoot burial ground is. This would be one of the most monumental anthropological discoveries of of our generation of maybe of our time and you're not letting your species know about this thing why well here's the thing Duncan um when you've been squatching as long as I have yeah you basically consider the squash to be somewhat like family. And I don't consider these things to be creatures.

I consider these things to be my wood brethren and my forest friends. Can I ask you something? Character Joe Rogan's playing? Are you on a TV show right now? Occasionally, I am on a TV show looking for squatch. Squatching. right now um occasionally i am on a tv show looking for squatching so you're revealing to the entire planet the existence of bigfoot but you don't want to prove it with a burial ground well i don't like the snippiness of your tone sir because i'll tell you right now when i'm looking for squash it is a hundred percent there's no bad intention involved i I have love for the Squatch.

The Squatch community recognize me. In fact, I know their favorite food. It is peanut butter and jelly. I leave it in a gifting tray outside my house and it's often gone when I return. Alright, well I gotta go. What? Check? Don't go. Can we get the check? I know a man who lives

on nothing but water and air. No, no water. Shit. I forgot. No water. No, man. But to me it seems like it's absolutely, if they have discovered some proof of these beings existing, I think it is unethical to not reveal it. Because the ethical thing to do would be to show the burial ground so that we can create nature preserves to protect these precious woodland creatures from logging and all the variety of things that humans can do. You really think that the government is going to protect the Squatch? Yes.

This is the other thing this guy believes. This guy believes that the government actually is aware of the Squatch. Yes. And the government is hiding the Squatch because the government thinks that society itself would fall apart much like an alien invasion. Much like in an alien invasion scenario, religion would fall apart. Yes. How do you explain the giant wood man that was not in the Bible?

How do you explain a 10-foot-tall person thing who lives in the woods and can spot camera traps a mile away? Wait a minute. There's a squash squash I'm gonna burn down the White House. All right. Now here we go proponent. Here's proponent pull up There's a photo of gigantopithecus and there's a gigantopithecus that is right beside its standing beside a person It's a it's a recreation. It's a man and a recreation of this animal and this is where it gets really weird gigantopithecus is an animal that they found out about in the apothecary shop there's that photo and then there's another one that's kind of even more interesting because they

they did it in front of a jungle yeah that one right there now look at this fucking thing. Spread this out. Here's what's crazy. That was real. That's a real animal. They have bones. They have teeth. They know that this thing was bipedal based on the shape of its lower jaw. This was an animal that existed as recently as 100,000 years ago and existed in Asia. And they didn't find out about this until the 1920s. There was a guy who went into an apothecary shop.

I should probably credit him here. Let's see. Gigantopithecus. Yeah, it kind of looks like an orangutan. Yeah, except it stands up on its fucking hind legs and it's 10 feet tall. Other than that, yeah. It would be so cool. If you saw an orangutan in the zoo

and right behind it was that you'd be like what the fuck is that it's a 10 foot tall orangutan that walks like a person holy shit are you fucking kidding me i just like the idea of those two actually being friends in real life like a superhero team okay this is the guy's name the gentleman gentleman's name is Ralph Von Coenswald. Ralph Von Coenswald. And he was in an apothecary shop in China. And it was in Lai Ching Cave in Liu Xiu, China. I might have said that wrong. Anyway, he found these teeth as well as several jaw bones in this apothecary shop and he apparently he was a um he was uh i believe he's an anthropologist and he went and he found

these bones and i think he recognized right away that these were primate teeth and that they were way too big to be human and way too big to be gorilla. He was like, what the fuck is this? Right. The people in the Chinese apothecary shop just thought they had some random bones. Sure. And they actually were calling them dragon bones. And they traced these teeth back to their source, and it resulted in a recovery of more teeth and a rather complete large mandible.

Now, by 1958, it says here on Wikipedia that three mandibles and 1,300 teeth had been discovered. So they know that this is a for sure real animal. And the most recent fossils are 100,000 years ago. When you look at that thing and you hear a Bigfoot story, that's fucking Bigfoot. I mean, that thing next to that guy is Bigfoot. Right, but again, they didn't find a skull. They found teeth in a jawbone

and they made Chewbacca out of it. They didn't find a skull. It's true, but by the shape of the lower jaw they can determine that it was a bipedal animal. How do they determine its hair color? No, that's totally made up. That's also with Neanderthal.

Thaw? Notice I said thaw this time? Thaw. When you look at Neanderthal imagery, that's all made up. In fact, there's a guy who thought of Neanderthal as a predator, and he had this whole paper that he wrote, and he even had a video made of proposing that Neanderthal as a predator, and he had this whole paper that he wrote, and he even had a video made of proposing that Neanderthal had black skin like a gorilla, and that Neanderthal were these super muscular predators that hunted humans, and that that's why we drove them to extinction. And he actually bases this on the shape of their jaws. He's like, we impose human characteristics to Neanderthals, but if you look at a Neanderthal skull next to a Homo sapiens skull, they're very different.

The shape of the eye is different. Now, if we know that chimpanzees exist and we know that gorillas exist and we know that their facial structure is actually more similar to Neanderthal than ours are, why wouldn't we assume that they had skin coloring and skin texture that was very gorilla-like? And so this guy made this video. See if you can pull that up. coloring and skin texture that was very gorilla-like. Right. And so this guy made this video. See if you can pull that up. Neanderthal as a predator of humans, as a predator of humans, predator of humans. I'll tell you what I find. It's called Them and Us. Okay.

So look up Them and Us, how the Neanderthals were oppressed. But this guy had images that he created and he wrote a book detailing this theory. And his theory was that we had accepted a vision of what Neanderthal looked at, looked like, based entirely on what we look like. Right. And he was saying, well, there's no evidence of that. And you might as well look at it as being far closer to a gorilla. And he gives a bunch of reasons that have to do with the size of the bones. Sure.

They had much different bone structure than us. They were like 200 plus pounds. They were only like five feet tall. They were totally weird looking. They were like 200 plus pounds. They were only like five feet tall. They were totally weird looking. They were not like a person. Yes. It's just in the reconstruction that you just showed me. If you're saying this came from teeth and a jawbone and you're saying this was done by the professorial guy in the picture with the hairy orangutan like thing, I want to

know, where did you get the hair color from? Why is the hair color that long? This being. No, no, listen listen yeah i mean you're right about that for sure because i think anybody could take a few teeth and a jawbone and stick that into a sasquatch replica and say look it's proof well yeah sort of i mean i guess you could but what we do know i mean that's just speculation but we do know is this is a real animal so whatever this was whether it looked like that that or it didn't look like that,

we know it was huge. Absolutely gigantic. Far bigger than any primate that's ever lived since then or before then, as far as we know. If you look in the book of Genesis, there's reference to these beings called the Nephilim. And the Nephilim were these giants. They said they were giants during this time. And, you know, who knows whether that's real or not. But I think all mythologies have reference lot of physical problems. And then think about what it takes to create a fossil.

It's incredibly difficult to create a fossil. The only way you create a fossil is if you get caught in a landslide or a volcano or something happens where it preserves your body. You can get stuck in mud. But most of us are not going to be fossils. Most of us are just going to rot. We're going to go into the ground and then worms are going to eat us and then we're going to cease to exist.

We're going to be transmuted into the next stage of the afterlife. Praise Shiva. Praise Shiva. But what we do know is that there's been people our size and then there's been these little tiny hobbit people. Yes. I think it would be ridiculous to think that it's not possible. It could have been giant people.

Sure. There was giant lizards, giant birds. There's been giant elephants, giant tigers. If you go down to the La Brea Tar Pits, just check out the sculptures of the dire wolves out there. Those things used to wander around Los Angeles. How big were they? Huge!

Like horse-sized wolves. What? Dire wolves, Los Angeles. Yeah. Now they're not going to be horse-sized. They're probably huge. I was stoned. Yeah, it they're not going to be horse-sized. I'm going to see if I can ask. They're probably huge. I was stoned. Yeah, it's okay. Don't worry about it.

Did you ever... Direwolf Los Angeles. I'm just going to bring up a crappy band. Remains of nearly 2,000 direwolves were exhumed. They lived 9,000 years ago. Okay, how big were they? Doesn't say. They were huge.

I believe you, Bo. Look at, I mean, look at saber-toothed tigers, for God's sake. Look at those things. Those things used to wander around LA. Well, not only that, that was only like 10,000 years ago. Yeah. So the idea that there were giant humans or giant primates is not, to me,

a particularly shocking notion. I believe that. It's just hard for me to imagine that one of them has managed to somehow exist in the present day. It's also disturbing. And this is one of the things that we resist. We resist danger that we're not aware of. We resist it like, oh, come on. I was talking to someone about there's a community that's experiencing, they live near a factory and they're experiencing like all these issues. And I was talking to someone who was saying like,

hey man, like this community might be poisoned because of this factory. And then I talked to another guy. I was like, oh, listen, that's nonsense. Let me tell you something. That, if that was true, and he starts rattling off some reasons why he doesn't believe it's true.

And then I asked him if he had looked into it, and he hadn't. And then I realized, okay, we're dealing with reactions that humans have where we want to categorize dangers, and we want to put them in clearly definable categories. And we have to wonder whether we want to worry about them. And some things you worry about never take place. And if that's happened, then you're a little worrywart, and you're a pussy, and then you're ruining society because you're a big wimp and people don't want to be a big wimp so when people don't want to be a big wimp they

dismiss things that may or may not be real and may or may not be a danger and they do it as a defense mechanism and so it's not entirely objective the reaction to any anything well when you bring up Bigfoot, people immediately, oh, you're going to look for Bigfoot. Go ahead and look for Bigfoot. Oh, what else are you going to look for? Leprechauns? Right. Let me know when you find a pegasus out there, fella, and take a ride around the world in

a flying horse. It's probably real. I mean, the Greeks made a statue of it. Why would they lie, right? Why would they lie? I mean, the Greeks made a statue of it. Why would they lie, right? Why would they lie? And what he's doing by berating you and by dismissing this topic is not just dismissing something that is preposterous and is ludicrous and stupid, but he's also making himself feel better because he's scared.

He's a scared little bitch worried about Bigfoot. You think that guy's scared of Bigfoot? And his giant Rasputin dwarfing dick. Bigfoot must have a dick like a giraffe. It was probably like a giraffe neck tied to his cock. It's gigantic and it's probably black like coal. I'm scared of so many things. I'm scared of taking my shirt off at a swimming pool,

but I am not scared of Bigfoot. And my reason for not believing in Bigfoot is not because I'm afraid that my belief in Bigfoot, some Bigfoot's gonna come trouncing into my house in Silver Lake. I don't believe in... First of all,

you fucked up in telling people where you live. Second of all... Hunt me down. Second of all, you say all this shit because you haven't seen Bobcat Goldthwait's movie

Willow Creek. I'd like to. You watch Bobcat Goldthwait's Bigfoot movie, which is sensational. It's amazing. You'll shit your pants. You're going to be afraid to get out of the car and take a leak if it's dark out.

And you're near a patch of woods. I already am. Look, I don't know if Bigfoot's real, and I know you don't know if Bigfoot's real. But I know that we both think it's an interesting subject. Yes. Why is that? Well, because it's a beautiful idea. It's this idea of a being that has somehow managed to evolve

to a place past the intelligence of chimpanzees and gorillas, and yet simultaneously has reached this harmony with nature and is living out there in some kind of beautiful, primordial, pagan state. Yes. There's something really wonderful about that idea it's like avatar depression yes it's like a version of avatar depression yes like when people went to see that movie avatar when you see those noble people who would never lie and although they may exhibit a little bit of jealousy and they take that fake navi into their arms because they're beautiful people.

And they get their internet from a tree. And it comes down from some sort of a Wi-Fi thing where it's like they float and whatever. They hump with their tails. Yeah, exactly. But there's something about that that's wonderful. And one of the things that you and I experienced is we went

to Mount Rainier with the lovely and talented cast and crew. And we went up there and we wandered through those woods and we went to a bunch of different areas where people have claimed to have seen Sasquatch before. And the thing that struck me, besides the fact that it was unbelievably beautiful up there, I had never been to the woods of the Pacific Northwest in my adult life.

I actually talked to my dad about it, and he said we went camping up there when I was much, much younger. I think I was like seven. And I don't remember it because apparently it was like rainy and miserable, and we hated it, and we got out of there. It wouldn't be like the funnest place to go camping. But it literally is, and I hate the word literally. Sorry I used it. It really is like you're stepping into another dimension yes it's beautiful and it's so rich with plant life yeah it's the plant life

this is how you consider it let's pretend that the the salt lake is a blank slate okay salt lake in utah where's that flat the flat plains or those the salt flats where they race cars they take cars they go like a thousand miles an hour cuz there's nothing out there but that's all right if that's a flat plane and that's a zero life environment the the rainforest of the Pacific Northwest is a 100% life environment every inch is taken up by plant life there's elk running across us we stepped on elk shit every other step everywhere it was everywhere yeah we were driving down the

road elk would just walk right in front of us these giant wild cows which are more related to cows than they are to deer actually huge enormous four or five hundred pound animals just walking across the street it's a wild place to think you have an accurate account on that like what are you going up there and measuring shit who's going up there you know even though it's right next to seattle even though it's 50 plus miles outside of seattle no one's going into those woods no one and when you're there and you take that in that's when you really start considering it. You really start going, maybe.

Sure. You know, when I went out there, I didn't realize how dense it was out there. I had never considered that. And when you see how dense it is and how thick it is out there, then you do start entertaining the idea that there's the possibility that some extremely endangered being could be hiding out in these depths because people aren't going to go into that. What purpose do people have for going into that stuff? I imagine there's naturalists and maybe hardcore hikers who are crossing maybe 0.10th of a percent of that terrain. If that.

If that. If that. Yeah. So in that way way you could see how there could be a being existing out there that maybe hadn't been discovered yet and when we sent the drones up into the sky to like overlook the area and when you put the goggles on and you can see through the drones and you're flying over that it It's majestic. I mean, it is majestic. It is unlike any place that I have ever been to in my life.

I was humbled by the life, humbled by the plant life. There's something about the amount of trees that you see up there and the density of it all that is just like it puts you right in your place. It just goes, sit down and look at this. And it's almost like psychedelic like you walk into those forests it's almost like the whole world changes and when you're in there you might as well be in another dimension sure it's so not the human world and you walk in and every hour or so you'll find some shit on the ground that a person left behind. But you're cutting one path.

How much are you dealing with around you that you never see? If you lived up there in the Pacific Northwest for the rest of your natural life and just every day you just crossed a certain area off your list and just walked up and down and up and down and you made a grid, you're going to die before you ever see even a tiny fraction of the woods that are around you. And even with all the logging going on up there, it's not happening in every single part of that area. Not only that, I mean, you want to make the argument for an intelligent animal being able to avoid you. How much easier is it to know you're there than when you're chopping fucking trees down with a saw that goes –

Sure. I'm listening for elk snapping twigs, okay? And I hear a fucking saw and I smell that stinky fuel burning. If a gorilla, for whatever reason, got pushed out of a van in the middle of Brooklyn, it would stick out in the most profound way. It would, within four seconds, around the entire world, would be videos of a gorilla in Brooklyn. In the same way,

a human wandering through the Pacific Northwest with our stinky perfumes and deodorants on, smelling of the cheeseburger you just ate before your weird, impotent little hike, you know, two miles into the wilderness. That would be so easy to avoid. Creatures can already avoid us anyway. Cutting root beer farts. Yeah.

Wearing Dr. Scholl's. Bud Light in your backpack. Old spice under your stupid armpits. Yeah, yeah. The stink of your tumors coming light in your backpack. Old spice under your stupid armpits. Yeah. The stink of your tumors coming out of your mouth. They smell that stupid fluoride toothpaste you wash your face with. We stick out like a

sore thumb in that terrain. Even though our ancestors, that's what we used to live in. We were born into that. It used to be where we were born into that wilderness. There's something that happens when you go out there into that wildness where some mild little shift happens to you you know there is something that happens another part of your mind begins to activate when you're out there and i think that part of your mind that activates is the part of the mind that sasquatch hunters use when they hallucinate their imaginary Bigfoot that they see.

Well, unfortunately, that might be actually what's happening. That's what's the most messy part of this situation is that you can't pick a horse. You don't want to be the guy that says, oh, Sasquatch, you guys are silly. Because that guy's a dick. want to be the guy that says, oh, Sasquatch, you guys are silly. Because that guy's a dick. Sure. Okay? And you don't want to be the guy that goes all Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Research Centers of America and gets it tattooed on your ass either. Because that guy's a dick as well. I don't want to be a guy squatching.

What is Squatch? What did you say Squatch was again when we were out there? What is Squatch? What did you say Squatch was again when we were out there? Squatch is the name for the dried semen that accrues in the hair and the beard hair of truckers who have been hanging out at truck stop glory holes. It's called Squatch. Oh, shit. Hey, man, you got some Squatch in your beard, brother. It's the reason why the hardcore homos at truck stops only have mustaches. Right?

Because we all know that hardcore gay dudes, there's like three types of people that have mustaches. Mexicans, John Stossel, and hardcore gay dudes. And Hitler. The kind of hardcore gay dudes that wear like leather biker hats and like cut off jean shorts with Timberlands. Yeah. Yeah. Hardcore. Hardcore. dudes that wear like leather biker hats and like cut off jean shorts with timberlands yeah yeah hardcore hardcore thick pasty they're trying to avoid squatching they don't want to deal with

washing squash out of your beard it's annoying clumps up and it smells like dried bleach and burnt rubber when you wash it out greg fitzsimmons goes on stage in San Francisco. We were doing San Francisco together. He goes on stage and he goes, you know what I love about San Francisco? You still have real faggots. He goes, real guys with jean leather vests on

and cut off jean shorts. That's hilarious. Like the blue oyster bar in Police Academy. There was a lot of gay people in the crowd too. That's hilarious. Like the blue oyster bar in police academy. There was a lot of gay people in the crowd too. And they, they loved it. They were cheering.

Yeah. You know, and that, that kind of stuff drives me crazy because on paper, or if you put that on the internet, people could get mad at him. But, but Greg Fitzsimmons is like one of the least homophobic guys you will ever

meet in your life. Like he has a great story about wanting to find out whether or not he was into gay sex when he was young yeah so like you got drunk and got up his courage and then like found a guy in this gay area that he knew and went to the woods with him and then fucking panicked and ran away but like he's not even remotely homophobic like he's not afraid of telling that story he's not homophobic at all. So when he goes up there and says, I love San Francisco because it still has a lot of faggots.

Yeah. And they were clapping. Sure. Like, I saw a gay couple that were like going, whoo! Yeah. Because he was saying it with endearment. It's not coming from anger or fear. It's coming from an accurate assessment of San Francisco. And that's fine. And it's not a black or white issue. It's not coming from anger or fear. It's coming from an accurate assessment of San Francisco, and that's fine.

And it's not a black or white issue. It's not to hurt somebody. There's a lot of shit going on when you say that word. There's a lot of shit. You could say it in a beautiful way. And the way he was saying it was describing a wild looseness and an acceptance of homosexuality in San Francisco that allows men to be really flamboyant. And that's a good thing. Sure.

That's a good thing. So what he was saying was a good thing. But that's what's pissing me off about this current state of, like, criticizing stand-up comedy as if it's a statement. It's insane. These are not statements we're saying.

We're saying wacky shit. We're just talking. What makes it offensive is the energy behind it. When you hear a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian say homosexual, it's the same way as when you hear a Nazi say the word Jew. It comes out in this sizzling – it's the sound of the alien when they kill the alien and the acid drips through the metal. It's that same just vile, dripping hate. Homosexual.

It's like all the hate inside that person is coming through the window of the word homosexual. And that's offensive. But when Greg Fitzsimmons says faggot, that's like somebody throwing glitter in front of a disco ball. There's nothing dangerous or angry or pissed off. It's just sweet. There's nothing bad about it. And isn't it funny that when, this is something that took a while for humans to figure out,

but now there is a knee-jerk reaction that when someone rallies against homosexuals, is angry about homosexuals, is fighting off homosexuals, they're most likely gay. 100% gay. Most likely gay. Just so gay.

When did people figure that out? Was it 1980? I don't know. Not even. I don't even think it was. When did the discovery happen? I think that's way more recent than people want to admit. I think the idea was really crystallized with Ted Haggard.

Sure. When that guy got busted and his gay prostitute friend, who he likes to do meth with, went on CNN and was like, that guy's crazy. Hey, I might be a gay prostitute friend who he likes to do meth with went on cnn and was like that guy's crazy yeah hey i might be a gay prostitute that does meth with my clients but this guy's fucked up this guy's this guy's out there fucking making mistakes the way the way christians come out of the closet is they say they hate gay people that's how you know you're gay if you ever ever hear a christian talk about how bad it is to be a homosexual it's a hundred percent you're like you poor bastard yeah just do it true let go yeah

and who cares it's like the what what's good about being gay is you get to find out who's an idiot around you if you came out and you were gay and some people got upset at you great you found the idiots in your neighborhood yeah unfortunately for a lot of people with their fucking parents i mean when you when you look right when they post letters on reddit where like people come out of the closet and their parents write letters saying you have to leave the house and we'll never talk to you again it's like they got off light man if they had good friends they got off light i swear to god if if my parents were like that and i was gay, I swear to God I'd be happy. Now.

Today. Right. 2013. Right. At 45. You mean you escape from living with kids. You escape from assholes. At a certain point in your life, you have to realize that your family is not just what you were born with.

Shit, man. It's also what you accept, what you bring into your world, and what you create. Yeah, but when you're 14. Right. Of course. It's the worst. Think about, just think of the reverse. I mean, it's like, if when I was 15

and I knew that I told my parents that I loved going down on this veiny albino and that would... I would like to think that if you were my son, I could work through that with you. I would like to tell you that, listen, there's no perfection to this life. And there's, the beautiful thing about life

is that everybody likes something different and that everybody is different some people have blue eyes, some people love to suck cock I'm not saying sucking cock imagine if you as a child knew that talking about you telling your parents you like licking pussy

would get you thrown out of your house imagine the horror of that like your entire sex drive get you thrown out of your house. Imagine the horror of that, like your entire sex drive when you're in a teenager, your, your sex drive is like you have explosive, explosive. And to know that revealing that, that mechanism,

revealing that mechanism to your parents could actually get you banished from, could make you homeless. It's terrifying when you're 14. That's fucked. It's terrifying. but you know what the real problem is human beings have isolated themselves into these much much more small and more segregated communities and we call them families right and we don't we're not in a community anymore that has a hundred people in it where we're all going hunting together and and and sharing festivities around the fire now we're in these communities where we have tribes of like a very small group like four or five people that's right you know my tribe is uh i have three daughters and me that's my tribe you

know and i have friends who i allow into my camp occasionally and we break bread and then they go back to their tents and that's it yeah that's the reality of modern man sure the old days people tribed up together and they got you know 50 60 people and they got together and they all knew everybody and they they they existed in these communities where they all shared hunting duties and cleaning duties and parental duties and that was how people lived a long time ago what were we really fucked up is we removed accountability when we stopped being communal we stopped being communal in our child re when we stopped being communal we stopped being communal in our child rearing we stopped being communal in our our relationships you know that's where

like bitch behavior comes from too when you got a guy who like starts texting your wife or your girlfriend or you know a girl you're dating and says like stupid shit about you like that's supposed to all be done out in the open. And when a guy starts sneaking around on Facebook and saying mean shit about you to someone, what is he doing? He's revealing his weak genetics. He's a loser.

The guy's a bitch. And the girl will never respect him. What he's doing, she knows what he's doing. She knows he's being weak and creepy and shitty. But they think, well, I just don't want to tell you that guy just doesn't appreciate you. I know he doesn't. I see the way he is with you.

And I, I see that you're hurting on the inside and I just want to look totally platonic. I am your friend. I mean, I don't, I mean, you're very beautiful and I would be honored if you ever be with me,

but I know you don't need to be. So this guy's an asshole. Why does that guy exist? Cause you can't go hunting with him. And whoops, he got hit by a stray spear you know that he's supposed to take that guy with you on on the manly duties and throw him in a lake somewhere quicksand pits he's supposed to die made for that type of human that type of behavior is not supposed to be fostered to the point where he's a member of society a trusted member of society but oftentimes in communities people deal with

deceptive like like, traitors. Traitors of their friendship. Traitors of their... Because we've separated. We've removed accountability. You can shut your door and lock it and just send a cunty email. And everybody has removed themselves from this process of community. Yeah.

It's amazing how bad that is for our continued evolution. The fact that people like that have any kind of impact at all is pretty horrific. And that's where avatar depression comes in. Because that shit doesn't exist in Avatar, and it doesn't exist in the Squatch community either. I don't think there's any bitch Squatches. I think Squatches, in my mind, okay, whether or not they're real, in my world, squatches are noble. They're very smart. They run after elk.

They shake them. They probably choke them. They probably get a good, strong rear naked. They probably just break their necks. Elks probably made out of styrofoam compared to a squatch. When we went squatching, one of those guys said- I like that you said that because it is true. What?

When we went squatching. When we went- Very few people can say that. We went squatching, and I remember one of the—I clearly remember one of our fellow squatchers, our teacher squatchers, they said that the way the Sasquatch hunts is it breaks the leg of the elk. And then after snapping its leg, that's when it kills it. I don't know why it doesn't kill it all at once, but it grabs it, breaks its leg, and then lets it kind of pull itself through

the wilderness and then eats it that's the way the noble sawsquatch hunts it also can turn into a bird and it also can sound like a leaf blower i can also tell you that that gentleman the same gentleman that told you that story also told me that one time he was in front of a blackberry bush and he heard a frog it was like rid it rid it he said, now why would a frog be hiding in a blackberry bush? And he goes, you know what? I thought about it. I was like, that's probably a Bigfoot. Yeah, sure.

So just so you know, same guy. I can't. Same guy. There's some critical thinking right there. That dude should be in the CIA. I see. I hear a frog. It's near a blackberry bush.

Must be an undiscovered primate of enormous proportions. I can't have all the fucking shit it could be. Maybe it's a crazy frog. Maybe it's a frog that ate a psychedelic mushroom. Doesn't know what the fuck is going on. He's hiding in bushes. He can't even eat berries. He's lying on his back.

He's flying on a rainbow of glitter all the way to Jupiter. He's a frog, and he's understanding space travel for the first time. And he knows that he's got a couple minutes to go before the psilocybin leaves the system, and then he becomes a frog again and just looks around for flies. Can I make one point real quick about this? I think squatching is to hiking what Renaissance fairs are to parks. How do I say that better? No, no, no. I know what you're saying.

I think squatching is- To history. What? To history. Renaissance fairs are to history. I think squatching is to hiking what Renaissance fairs are to history. I think it's a way to turn hiking into this exciting playtime. That's what it is.

I think that's what it is. I think you're totally right. I think you're totally right. I met with a guy named R. Scott Nelson, and he's a cryptolinguist. In fact, he worked for the U.S. Navy for almost 20 years deciphering languages. And he played me some authentic i'm doing air quotes okay authentic bigfoot language and i want to play it for you because it's it's pretty fascinating stuff he played me this is what's disturbing though he played me two very different

recordings one of them sounded like total dog shit and i listened to it i was like that is not a bigfoot that's a guy and he goes no person could make that sound i was like there i made the sound i made the same sound it really did sound but he played me another one that was called they call it samurai chatter that is really weird and i would love it if once this show comes on the air i know a lot of you are going to be like, this fucking bullshit I can explain. I am a language expert. And had some very educated points about this language that he had heard online. Now, he went into this a complete skeptic.

He had no idea that there was like a Bigfoot community out there. No idea that people who are scientists took it seriously. But his son was doing a project and he was playing him this bigfoot stuff and him being a crypto linguist was like well wait a minute what is that and so he plays it and listens to it over and over again and immediately recognizes that this is a language and that's where it gets weird because you're talking about a guy who is a a real bona f expert in human language. He's an expert in phonemes and different aspects of human language and how to distinguish them. So he's what's called a cryptolinguist, which means he would take a language that's an unknown language and

decipher it. So he listens to this and he decides, like, this is a real thing. Like, oh my God. So he thinks that Bigfoot's real. I'm going to play you what he played for me. Cool. Check this. Who for several years had a cabin way up in the remotest parts of the Sierras of Northern California. And he was there one time with a friend,

and every evening they used to hear some absolutely bizarre noises and calls, and they couldn't figure out what the hell it was. And so they took up a tape recorder one time and this is what they recorded listen to this It is very bizarre indeed. We decided to record the sounds and put them on a CD and set and make them available. If I was in a cabin and I heard that, my hair would turn white. Willow Creek by Bobcat Goldthwait. The acoustics people look into it. They are very encouraged. Is there more of this?

Is there more sounds? There is, right? Scroll a little further ahead. Give me some more of this. Loving. Is that it? Listen to this. For the corridor. Loving. Is that it? Listen to this. Listen to this. So this is what he determined.

He listened to this, and he listened to the sounds. And it was his expert opinion that these are not sounds that are created by a human body. Yeah. The tone, the speed of the pitch, the way the language is being exhibited, he believed that this is a language, but that it's not being used by a human being. It sounds chimp-like. It does sound like, it definitely sounds like a gorilla mixed in with i see why they call it samurai it sounds like yeah asian somehow there's something underneath it i i would love to slow it down and hear what it sounded well he did he did he slowed it down and

it's interesting you say that he slowed it down for me and he broke down very specific aspects of it that he recognized as language and again you, we're talking about a guy who was a cryptolinguist expert, a language expert for the Navy. So he knows what he's talking about. It is very, very compelling. I don't know where that came from, though. I mean, they say that it was a bunch of people in the Sierra Nevadas, and they recorded this.

All we're hearing is some really weird noises that a language expert say sounds like some sort of an animal. No, but you're not. Not even close. No. There's some quality to it that just doesn't seem human. I might be wrong because, look, we've all seen people that are impressionists that do things. You go, how are you doing that?

We've all seen that. Yes. So it might be. I can make a dog one here dog yes jesus that's a dog that's not a dog that's me don't do that we we uh do you ever do that to your kids when they're sleeping no how rude one time though when we're on fear factor there was this uh this group of people and they were blindfolded and we led them into this room where they didn't know what the stunt was, so they couldn't see it because it was a big

wheel. And they would have saw it immediately and said, what's the wheel for? So they brought them in blindfolded. So as they're bringing in blindfolded, I'm going, They were shitting their pants. Dirty fucks. So I don't know what a person can and can't make with their noise, because I have to make some weird noises with my body.

I've seen the guy from Police Academy. Perfect. Michael Winslow. Perfect example. Michael Winslow could easily do something like that. Yeah, so you can't just say, because you're hearing some strange guttural, orc-like language,

that it's definitely a Bigfoot. That's something that could easily be fake. Duncan, there's only one way to solve this problem. Will you go to the woods with me and go squatching? No. Come on. No, so why would I deny? Yeah, of course I'll go.

It's a dream come true. I'd love to go squatching. All right, let's go squatching. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do this.