The Jordan Harbinger Show - 158: How to Save Someone from a Self-Help Cult | Feedback Friday

Episode Date: February 8, 2019

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: How can you prove that your teacher is name-grading essays without cheating on the paper? You're a veteran looking to transition back to civilian life. Here are some resources that might help (many thanks to your fellow veteran Zach Criswell for this info). When the big change you really need is a job opportunity at another company, is it unfair not to give your current employer a chance to negotiate with you to stay put? You're worried your significant other might have gotten wrapped up in an expensive self-help cult. What might you say to bring them gently back to Earth without wasting even more time and money? How do you find a lawyer who will actually get the job you need done and won't break the bank? An important network connection has offered to help you find opportunities as you're transitioning into a new field, but how can you ensure you're not biting off more than you can chew while still learning the ropes without wasting anyone's time? You're a contractor who has worked for a company that has been bought and sold three times in the past three years. How do you present this on your resume so it doesn't look like you've worked for three companies in that time? You're in your fifties and looking to open a franchise, though you don't have direct retail experience. What should you do to minimize risk so you're not burdened with debt in your retirement years should things go south? Recommendation of the Week: Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes Quick shoutout to Natasha Holmes! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [e-mail]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Rob Cesternino is a two-time Survivor contestant and was referred to by Jeff Probst as "The Smartest Player to Never Win Survivor." Rob...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger, and I'm here with producer Jason DeFilippo. Here on the Jordan Harbinger show, we love having conversations with our fascinating guests. And this week, we had Jaron Lanier talking about how social media companies, well, essentially take over our brain and our thought patterns by insidiously showing us things that they know we want to see and that will trigger us. We also said John Rulen talking about gifting and getting getting under people, getting inside people's brains in the positive way with things that they like that will surprise them. instead of the negative way getting in their brains. We kind of had two sides of the same coin here this week on the show. Also, I don't know how many people even know this.

I write every so often on the blog, the latest blog post, is actually about how to make friends as an adult. And I know that sounds kind of weird, but it's one of the most common questions that we have here. It's a totally different process than we had as kids. So, of course, that's on the blog, on the website, on Jordan Harbinger.com. So make sure you've had a look and a listen to all that good stuff this week.

Of course, our primary mission is to pass along what our guests discuss, experiences and insights along to you. In other words, the real purpose of the show is to have conversations directly with you, and that's what we're going to do today here on Feedback Friday. You can reach us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. Concise means it'll get a better chance of getting on the air. And Jason, we've got some really interesting questions this week, so as always, what's the first thing out of the mailbag? Hi, Jordan. How can I prove that my teacher is name grading essays without cheating on the paper? Signed, is my teacher a lazy bones?

So I had to look this up, but name grading. Did you know what this was? Jason, I didn't even know what this was. I've got no idea what this was. You know how many essays I've written. Yeah, I can imagine. Come on. So essentially what it is is when a teacher knows that certain kids in the class are smart

and certain kids in the class are not, that she goes, oh, Jordan wrote this. Yeah, it's going to be A minus for sure, you know, whatever. Oh, man, that's profiling. That's student profiling. It is. I would imagine that teachers that do this probable, I'd like to think they're doing it in the girl, oh, it's the smart girl, Bryn, this is going to be an A, whatever,

which is still a disservice because the person never gets a chance to improve. But it sucks because you know for sure they also do it to the kids they think are idiots, and they're probably harder on them, or easier on them, but they just go, uh, C minus, whatever. So nobody's really improving when this happens. So I didn't really know what that was, but I can see why this is a problem.

So this is a trick that I got for something else for a different problem, but it'll totally work here. It's called the elephant trick. And what you're doing, when you're writing your elephant essays, interject the word elephant a few times in places where elephant, it clearly doesn't belong. And don't do this on the first or second line. Do it elephant in the middle of the paper and make sure your paper is otherwise elephant of high quality.

And then if the teacher circles the word elephant and puts a question mark on it, just say, oh my gosh, my dumb cousin was over and playing on my computer. I'm so sorry. Your teacher will probably laugh. You know, if you're in grade school, of course, even in college, I've had stuff like this happen. They'll give you a regular grade because your paper was great, and it just had the word elephant in there a few times in obvious places where you wouldn't have put that. Look, you might get marked down for not having checked that, but it's not going to be that much. And if that's worth it to you to figure out what this is, if your teacher's really name grading, then you certainly will.

If your teacher says nothing, well, now you know the truth. All right, next up. Hi, guys, I'm a veteran, and I don't know how to transition to civilian life. Do you have any resources or can you point me in any direction that will be helpful? Signed, stuck in the Army. So this answer actually comes from a listener of the show that had sent it in, and I thought, all right, I was about to do this, but look at this answer that magically appeared in my inbox. So I just sort of reframed it here from Zach Chris Well.

I'm not sure how many people may have wrote to you that are ex-military looking for guidance into transitioning into a civilian life and profession or something similar. So very apropos, Zach, thank you. I figure with your huge following, you're bound to have some. In case you're not too familiar about different resources to guide them to, here are some that have really helped me out. So this is from personal experience, which is always key with any advice. The first is American corporate partners.

They take transitioning veterans or reservists and pair them with volunteer mentors in or close to their preferred civilian sector. The mentors coach and resume building link military skills to corporate settings, networking, and linking to other relevant sources. It's a year-long mentorship where they're constantly trying to help their mentees, set goals improve and create an easier transition. The program comes really highly reviewed, and we'll link to that in the show notes because the URL in typical sort of military government fashion is really ACP-USA.org. ACP-USA.org. We'll link to that in the show notes.

The second resource is called Military Mojo. It's a career fair where all the companies attending are seeking out those with military experience. Huge companies in all career fields, Johnson & Johnson, Amazon, GM, tons more. They have a events all over the country throughout the year, and it's free if you sign up early enough. They also provide personal coaching, which is really important, with each attendee that is meant to make them the most marketable to the companies of their choice. So you're not just showing up to a random job fair with no guidance. And now, Zach didn't find his job through one of the career fairs. He was able to use the advice anyway on the resume, the company research, and the

interview techniques to get a position in pharmaceutical sales before he even had to attend the event. So great opportunity. Military mojo.org will link to that in the show notes as well. And this is one just little tiny little thing we're trying to do to help some of the heroes coming back to the country and transitioning to civilian life. So that's really important for us. And thanks to Zach Chriswell for those resources as well. Another charity that I am fond of participating in is American Dream University, AmericanDreamU.org. That's a great organization where guys like me, other entrepreneurs, business owners, we will go and speak to active duty military. So I was on Fort Lewis. We've been to Fort Brat,

have been to a bunch of different events with American DreamU to help teach active duty guys, what they need to be thinking about right now, essentially dig the well before they get thirsty. So we go in a couple years before these guys get out and they get inspiration, ideas, contacts, American DreamU.org. Great resource there from Phil Randazzo, a good friend of mine as well. We'll link to that in the show notes too. All right, next up. First off, I want to thank you, Jordan, for an Instagram post to one of my 19-year-old twins.

She was over the moon when you replied to her on IG. We all listen to the podcast and talk about them frequently. What a great way to talk about life lessons with one's kids without having to pontificate or act like the parent. We are the pontificators, I guess, Jordan. Guess so. On to my question. My former CIO wants to bring me on at his new company. I have a good position now and an excellent manager who I do like working for.

Since the new position would be a significant step up in both compensation and opportunity, I'm going to take it if it materializes. I don't have an interest in negotiating for better at my current company. I feel it's a poor character to do so. At what point do I bring it up with my manager? Is it unfair of me not to give them a chance to get me to stay? P.S., I listen to the Alex Coots podcast again before acting on this opportunity and actually negotiated with a potential employer for the first time in my career. It was so uncomfortable for me to negotiate, but I stuck with it.

If this job works out, and I think it will, the difference to me is going to be over $250,000 by the time I retire. I'm also 58. I say this to all your listeners. The strategies and insights from the podcast can and will help throughout your lives if you put them into practice. Thanks, guys. Sincerely, never too old.

You aren't required to negotiate to stay. I get it. And I understand why you might think it's a little awkward, but I'm going to get to that in a second. It's actually a waste of their time for the most part if you're just dead set on leaving to negotiate. And I guess maybe that's why you have a little bit of a reservation here. If you're not going to stay, you're not going to stay.

Here's why you might want to negotiate, though. Right now, you've got the most leverage you'll ever have other than when you have an offer from the other company in writing. You want to walk away and you're being poached by another company. If you negotiate with your current company, then if the other offer doesn't happen, you have a better package at your current job. I know you say you think this is in poor taste,

but I'm not totally sure why. I mean, I can hypothesize, but that's about it. Perhaps I'm missing some context here, but otherwise that's what I would do. That said, if you get the other offer, then you'd be leaving this current company, even if they matched the other offer, right? If that's the case, your current company might be a bit surprised, but in the end, I think everyone understands that people do what is best for them in a corporate context. Do not bring up leaving with your manager until you have another offer in writing.

Otherwise, the other job could never materialize, and then you might get terminated, which is horrible. That's the worst case scenario. Ask for the offer in writing ASAP. Then give the appropriate notice to your manager and to the company. They may offer to match the offer you got from the other company, at which point you can either negotiate or just decline and say no, you'd rather leave. Here's why. Always get everything in writing that you might rely on, especially job offers, salary increases,

any sort of negotiation. Otherwise, these are vapor. Jason, I'm sure you've been screwed over at some point in the past with negotiations are leaving a company. Oh yeah, I've done this a couple times, and I got burned because I did not do the thing that you just said, which was get it in writing. Everything was verbal. And I'm like, oh, man, this new company wants to bring me on. They're going to give me a 20K bump.

This is going to be great. I've got a couple more days of vacation a year. So I went back to my current company. I'm like, hey, guys, these guys are trying to, you know, poach me. And this is the offer I got. And they're like, go with God. Yeah. And then the other offer didn't show up.

And I was back on the street. Right. Because they were just like, yeah. I'm just going to keep showing up and hope you all don't notice, right? No, no, no. It was just like, okay. So we're going to assume this is your two week notice. I'm like, oh, what, do, crap.

And that was it. So, yeah, you can step on your own willy if you jump the gun on here and don't get things in writing first. So, I mean, I was in my 20s when that happened. But, yeah, I have the wisdom of experience now. and it sounds like never too old actually does as well because he's not a spring chicken. This is Feedback Friday. We'll be right back after this. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. To learn more about our sponsors and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. And if you'd be so kind, please drop us a nice rating and review in iTunes or your podcast player of choice.

It really helps us out and helps build the show family. If you want some tips on how to do that, head on over to Jordan Harbinger.com slash subscribe. Now let's hear some more of your questions here on Feedback Friday. All right, next up. Hey, Triple J. Thanks for all you do. I'm in a relationship with an incredible young woman. We've been seeing each other for about a year and I made it official in the fall. She has all the core characteristics of someone I'd want in my life and is actively trying to be better herself and set herself up for success in the future. We don't see eye to eye on everything.

She's more spiritual than I am and I'm significantly more practical, but we've done a good job of allowing ourselves to discuss our beliefs and not force thoughts on the other, i.e., she's a vegan, but I'm never given up bacon, ever. Good on you, man. Recently, she went on an awareness training that she was recommended to attend by a friend. It wasn't overnight or far away, but she went to this conference space for 36 hours over a four-day span, where, from my understanding, she met strangers, was taught to open up her emotions, and was helped to adjust some of the things she sees its faults, like indecisiveness or fear of embarrassment. She felt genuinely moved to better herself, see more clearly and succeed.

All great. My problem being, and what my initial concern was, she was essentially offered and convinced to attend round two, which costs $1,400 and requires her to take off work to attend 42 hours of workshops over five days. This is non-refundable, and to me, seems like a sales scam that she was sold to better herself without any actual, tangible takeaways. She doesn't have that much money to toss away and is in grad school with only a part-time job. It's not my job to take care of her financially, but I don't see the work. and I'm worried there's some part three that she might get sold into, and that'll put her into a hole. Am I reading too much into this? Is this a character flaw that I should be worried about? If this still makes her feel good afterwards, should I just be happy for her? Thanks for the help. Really appreciate it? Not my girlfriend's guru.

All right. So here's the problem. I've taken some of these courses. I took one, and I'm literally not even going to mention the name because this company is so litigious. they're famous for going after people who even mentioned them in some sort of supposedly negative light. So this BS leadership class. It was really just culty bull crap. And I went to this based on a recommendation from another influencer who said it was a leadership class.

And I show up there and it's just this garbage like all designed to rip open emotional wounds on people that are highly suggestible. There was a lot of pure pressure. There was a lot of forced fake vulnerability. The problem is if you push her on this, she's going to get mad because a lot of these self-help things teach their, I'm trying not to be insulting because it's like this sheep mentality. They try to teach these people to remove yourself from anyone who doesn't support your path to enlightenment or to growth or some other BS. Basically, isolate yourself if somebody questions us. That's just a bad sign. It's called 101.

Yeah, call it 101. And I think you should be supportive of her personal development, but instead of signing up for the next one right away, maybe you can suggest that she wait to save up. Meanwhile, that self-help high, that post-workshop high, will wear off. And they always do these hard sales at the end, where they have people literally running to sign up for the early discount in the back of the room, and then they take them to another room a lot of the time. The problem is you have to meet her where she is. So one, you've got to be supportive of growth of self-help in general. And then two, you've got to kind of redirect this sort of like, hey, instead of going on that, why don't we do something together that isn't this, something where we can both benefit,

we can both go learn a skill or something like that. You can suggest that you do it together. Or you can even get a little bit more aggressive with it. Just be careful by saying something like, what tangible tools have you learned? You know, what can you teach me without me having gone to the course? She'll probably find that there's not a whole lot there. about feelings. It's about, oh, you had to be there. You had to do it this way. And then ask her, so how long of all the people who worked there been with the organization? Because what you'll find

is that all those volunteers or all those leaders that she's probably interfacing with, they took the program a week ago, two weeks ago, last month. Four, why is it so pricey if everyone there's a volunteer? Those rooms are not that expensive. They really aren't. Where's the money going? Oh, it's all going to the guy who's on the stage and to the organization, period. Five, why do you have to take the advanced course now instead of in a couple months when you've saved up the money? What's the actual hurry here other than you're excited about it? And of course, they program you for timing. They say things like, you've got to do it now, you've got momentum, you've got to do it while da-da-da, you're open to this.

You want to do it with your group of friends that you made at the first one, right? All of that is pressure for the sale. What's the hurry other than they're trying to get you jazzed up and warm up your buying temperature? You can gradually steer around this sort of thing, so she comes to her own conclusions. If you tell her all this, she's just going to go, what, you're being resistant or whatever buzzword these companies have. Depends on the company, but it's always the same, depending on what buzzword they have for people. In fact, in Scientology, for example, they call it suppressive persons, right? They've got that whole thing.

But every sort of little organization like this has words for people that are essentially the infidel, right? They always use strike while the iron is hot. You know, you want to, you've got to, you're right. You've got to keep that momentum up. You got to keep it going because they're banking on your high when you come out of these things to really get you to open up that checkbook and just keep going. Keep going because you feel good right now. You know, you've had a couple drinks from the well and you think that the next one's going to be even better. But, yeah, you pull her away from it as long as you can't go on a vacation for sure and just like wait and say, hey, let's take that money and go on a vacation together.

I'll pay for half of it and then let her come down from that honeymoon phase because you and I, Jordan, have seen this over and over and over again. And you've got to separate her from the organization in a tactful way that doesn't make you look like the bad guy. Exactly. You can ask her to hold off on this for a few weeks or months until the cash is in place. Maybe she's put the original teachings into practice. Of course, there are really, most of the time, no original teachings. If you can get people to step back from these intro classes, almost everything is a tearing open of a wound, forced vulnerability, like authentic, be authentic with your neighbor, pretend they're your mother, whatever. This is all designed to get people to feel certain feelings. And this way, if you can get her to hold off for a week or two, even a couple of weeks is better than nothing.

This way, you're still being supportive of her, but you both get the benefit of time for the post workshop high to wear off. And, you know, I will say going to some of these courses, I was really, really impressed in a negative way at how manipulative a lot of these courses were slash are. It's fascinating to me. I almost wanted to do it again and take notes, but they actually don't allow any notes in the room for most of the courses that I did. Isn't that interesting? Oh, it's so valuable that you shouldn't write anything down. And of course, their excuse is, their excuse is, oh, privacy. And I'm like, well, obviously, I just won't write down things that are from other people. Oh, well, any take. a way that you have, you'll remember, because it'll be so important, it'll be life-changing. It's like, not everyone works like that. Maybe there's some stuff I want to take away. Oh, writing is a distraction from being present. Is it really, though? I don't think so.

Also, there's no water allowed in the room a lot of the time. You can't take bathroom breaks whenever you want to. You can't eat snacks and stuff like that. And I remember so many pressure tactics where they shamed people. There was one guy who was a surgeon, and he was on call, and his pager went off or whatever. his phone beeped, I guess. I don't know. I think Dr. Stel.

They still use beepers. Yeah, they still use babies. And he got in trouble and he's like, look, I'm on call. I'm like a thoracic surgeon at the hospital. And they were like, you can't be on call while you're in class. And he's like, I literally don't have a choice. Like this is a life, this is a life and death situation. When this thing goes off, it's not like, hey, bro, do you want pepperoni or mushrooms?

It's like, you know, it's a big deal. And they basically stood him up in front of the class and they were like, you can't have that in here. you're not allowed to be on call. You have to be present. And he's like, no, I have to rescue my patients' lives when they need liver transplants. You know, like give me a break. And then they said, you're being uncoachable. And he goes, you know what?

Fine. And he left. And when he left, a bunch of other people left. And they actually chased a bunch of people out and sort of almost blocked to the door. And they were like, you don't need to leave. No, are you a doctor? No, he did other things that you all didn't see that were uncoachable. And I was like, really?

Because he was sitting next to me for like the entire day yesterday and today. And that guy never did anything. You're just lying. You know, it was just BS. And they, because they knew they had crossed the line because everybody understood that a thoracic surgeon or whatever needed to have that. And that they didn't care because they just wanted his money. And they wanted the continuity. And there was another woman who stood up and was like, hey, you didn't let me go last night until two o'clock in the morning.

I've got kids. I have to leave early. and they were like, you can't. And she's like, yeah, I'm not abandoning my kids, so you guys are idiots, I'm out. It was just ridiculous. But you know what? I thought at first, oh, that's just mine.

I started comparing notes with a bunch of other people that were in these classes and people that took the next one and the next one and that had taken it before us, and they all have similar experiences to this. It's all high pressure. And I remember even at the end when they were having everybody run to the back of the room and then go to the other room,

even the people who couldn't afford it, to sign a letter promising that they would go and they could go on credit and that they would have to pay later and all this stuff. And then there were like maybe 18 of us left who didn't want to register for the next thing. And he goes, the guy on stage goes, come here and sit up closer. So in other words, instead of being in the back where we were, he's like, move in closer. And he made us all sit in the front two rows by getting compliance for us to move. And then he got down to our level and like got kind of leaned over us and was like, why are you all being resistant. And I was like, I don't like this. And he's like, well, you should leave. And I was like,

no, I'm going to finish it. I paid for it. I'm going to finish it. And he's like, we don't want resistant people here. And I was like, if you want me to sit in the back and not talk to anyone, that's fine, but I'm not leaving. I paid for this, unless you want to refund my money. And he was like, you know, that was like garlic to the vampire. So he was like, no, you can sit in the back. Just don't ruin other people's experience. I was like, dude, I literally haven't said anything to And there were other people who were sitting there and they were like, oh, there's other reasons I don't want to take it. I can't take it. I've got a funeral, like all these other excuses.

And he tried to weasel and all these volunteer salespeople. They had this thing called the Ph.D. program and all these volunteer salespeople, essentially were supposedly earning a quote unquote PhD. By the way, this is like at the YMCA, but you know, it's not an accredited. It's some crappy hotel somewhere near the airport. This is not a PhD. all it is is those people get to learn how to sell for the organization. That's the PhD. So they were all in our, like, don't you want your life to improve?

And it's like, yeah, but this isn't necessarily the way that's going to happen. I mean, it was just pressure, pressure, shame, all the stuff that we had talked about in the room. You're letting other people down. You're letting your group down by not joining them for the event. I mean, it's just shameless and disgusting. And I looked up the organization and they'd been getting sued since the freaking 70s and 80s for this this kind of stuff and they just keep rebranding it's really ridiculous yeah that's that is ridiculous and you know i mean we don't want to beat the dead horse here but yeah we've seen it over and

over again and so things like this kind of get our hackles up yeah i do i get a little um yeah emotional i get a little i get a little hamped up because it really is predatory these people do not care about anybody and good luck talking to an actual employee everyone's a volunteer and as soon as they decide they don't want to be there anymore they get thrown kicked to the curve and then somebody else. When I went to these things, because I went to a few beginnings and with other friends, and I've seen a bunch of different outfits of these

just got a curiosity after that. The only person that works there is the guy on stage, and I think there's like one assistant person who basically rangles all these volunteers. And the accountant that takes all the money. Of course. But even the people who are like running credit cards, signing people up,

getting the waivers signs, They're all volunteers, every last one of them. And they're like, look at all these volunteers. Everybody wants to just be a part of the mission. But then I talked with them more in depth. They're actually paying to be there. They're not volunteers. They're paying to give free labor to the organization as part of the quote-unquote PhD program.

So it's more insidious because it looks like everybody's just so keen on it. But they're all like three weeks in. Oh, man. Like where's the people that have been volunteering for five years, like any church or any other sort of organization that's not just pure predation, right? Yeah. There's none. Evil. Evil stuff. Yeah. We'll be right back with more Feedback Friday right after this.

Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers is what keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. Now back to the show for the conclusion of Feedback Friday. All right. Next step. Hey, Jay's. I'm a money-conscious 27-year-old and have thankfully never needed a lawyer in the past, but I'm looking to buy an apartment soon. know I need one at least for when I'm ready to close. My problem is that I have no idea where to get a good one.

For this situation and any in the future, how do I find a lawyer that won't break the bank and actually get the job done? I don't really trust the lawyers that my parents have used in the past, and most of my network either isn't at this point in their life or they're my clientele who are significantly older and more wealthy than I am. Is there a way I can weed through online results? Is there an app that I should be searching through? Are they all kind of created equal when it comes to this, and I'll just pick the cheapest.

Appreciate the help legally lost. So it's funny because this seems like an obvious question, but I get this a lot. How do I find a lawyer that's going to work for me? I didn't realize, by the way, that some states require lawyers at real estate closings. It's actually kind of a good idea because I think it probably, in theory, could help people from getting taken for a rider raked over the coals. The problem is the lawyer's sitting there and there's 18,000 pages and they're not reading them. So you basically you might not be able to do it. It also could harm you because then you sign this thing that nobody read and they're like,

well, you had a lawyer there didn't you? And you're like, damn it, right? But at least then the lawyer's malpractice insurance might stick up for you. I don't know, six of one half dozen the other. But for any services, referrals are always the best. So who can you ask? Maybe other real estate agents, parents, friends or their friends. I would check reviews for sure.

Yelp and Avo.com, AVVO.com is great for attorney reviews. You can ask your wealthy clientele, actually, about their lawyers. I know you say you probably can't afford that, but those lawyers can either refer you to someone else. They can provide service at a lower rate if they have the capacity to do so and they like you, which is actually a great way to generate a relationship with someone like that. Or most attorneys who are too expensive, they have junior associates at their firm. Those guys will do the heavy lifting. They'll supervise and make sure they don't, you know, totally screw the pooch for you.

This is your best bet, in my opinion, is making sure that you get a referral directly. And it's also a really good way to get to know somebody who's kind of a high-powered attorney without actually paying high-power attorney fees. Yeah, I would definitely talk to your real estate agent about that or your broker because my roommate's a broker and she deals with a lot of lawyers. In California, you don't need a lawyer there. This is the first time I've heard of that, which is crazy because I'm surrounded by real estate 24-7 and there's never a lawyer there. But she is in the business and has to deal with lawyers all the time. So I bet that your agent or their broker will definitely be a good starting point, then go into the reviews process that Jordan outlined. Look for all the reviews about them.

But I think for an initial starting point, a referral from the agent or the broker would be a good place to start. Yeah, good call. All right, next up. Dear Jordan and Jason, I've decided that I want to make a career change from the medical field into tech. Well, I may have put a lot of work into getting my degree. I don't see myself being satisfied with doing this type of work long term. My plan for this year is to learn the skills that I would need to get a job in digital marketing while still working full time at my current job.

Much to my surprise when talking to my parents about this plan, I learned that I have a distant cousin who has a high-profile job in the digital marketing space. I was able to get a phone call with him and he sounded eager to help in any way he could. He seems to have a pretty large network of other people working in this space who also have high-profile positions and would like to introduce me to some of them. I've been listening to you for over two years now and would be an idiot not to see the type of value this relationship could offer. The problem is that I'm just starting to learn the basics of the tech industry and have no idea how to handle this type of opportunity. What would

be the best way to go about this relationship without wasting anyone's time? Thank you for your generosity with all the information you provide every week. It's been a catalyst for change in my life. Sincerely, confused leprechaun with a pot of gold. Great. So the first thing is apply the level one concepts as you've been studying them. So you should offer help for free to get your foot in the door and learn. And you've got to do it so that you're not a burden. So I would ask your cousin if you can intern for him or for someone he knows in the space for free, remotely, or in person, if you can, so that you can learn the ropes. Working on paid sucks, but treat this like school. Education, it costs money. That's just how it is. Perhaps you can work for free remotely part-time

while working in the current job, then once you're more useful, work for free or a heavy discount full time for someone else in the space for a short period of time as well. You'll want to get very good at a certain type of skill set and specialize as quickly as possible. I never hire digital marketing. I hire conversion focused design, right? So I'll hire somebody who does branding and design for a specific web property, even specific software.

And I don't even want that same person's company to make the site. I just want them to do the design. I don't want somebody who does social. I want somebody who does high engagement video for Instagram, for example, right? I don't want somebody who just like, I don't want a social media ninja.

Like that is garbage that shows me that the person knows how to log into sites, make posts, and use templates. I don't need that. I need somebody who just is an absolute sharpshooter in one distinct area. And you can't do that with every person. platform. You can't. There's a reason that guys like Gary Vaynerchuk have 70 people working on their

brand. There's probably a team for LinkedIn, a team for Quora, a team for Twitter. You get it. It's not just one person who does everything for all platforms. That's not what you need to be doing. That'll get you a job with the local hardware store doing their social and you'll have 87 clients and make $12 a week. but if you can do something really well and it's very specific, then you'll be great at it. Even really good internet marketers, they're asking me things.

I've got friends who are in the internet space, digital space, internet marketing space, and they're like, hey, do you know somebody who can do traffic generation on Pinterest? And I'm like, oh, no, not off the top of my head.

These are guys that make tens of millions of dollars a year, 100 million plus dollars a year in the space, and they're looking for somebody who does, who's like the best in this particular platform, and only in this particular space. That's what gets you paid. Eventually, you'll be at a point where your utility is high enough to get hired full time.

And this way, you'll be able to keep getting paid at your current job for a while during which you'll be learning, you'll be transitioning. No need to go all in. I know influencers and Instagram, entrepreneur turds encourage you to drop everything, go all in. This terrible advice, I've said this before on the show,

transition slowly to mitigate risk and stay paid for as long as possible while you figure out what you want to focus on, and then you build competency in that area. Congrats on the career change, by the way. All right, next up. Hi, Jordan, Jen, and Jason. I've been working for a Fortune 100 company for the past three and a half years. However, I'm not a direct employee of this company.

I'm a contractor who has worked on site with the same team the entire time. My position hasn't changed, but the company that contracts my work has been bought and sold three times in the past three years. What are your recommendations for listing this on my resume? How do I present my resume so it does not look like I've switched companies three times over the past three years? Thank you for taking the time to read this and I value your opinion. Sincerely, restless resume. All right, easy one. On your resume, you can list the job as one entry with the current name of the company.

In other words, if you worked for Company A and that became Company B, which then became Company C and it's currently Company C, just put Company C on the resume and show that that job stretches out over three years. If it's going to be really obvious somehow that you didn't work at a company with that name during the early years, perhaps because it didn't exist back then. Just put a little asterisk next to it and note that the company has been acquired and changed names three times since you've been there. Normally, I'd say you could just explain this during interviews, but you'll want to note it on the resume itself in some form unless recruiters are placing for you, maybe even if they are. Because you don't want a recruiter or HR hiring manager to say something like, oh, she must be lying.

This company didn't exist in 2015. What else is a lie on here? In the end, though, this happens all the time. Hiring managers are familiar with this. It'll be something they gloss over if you just make a quick note on the resume itself. Definitely do not list three different companies. You're right to be worried about that. If it looks like your job hopping, that's a bad sign and it'll get you tossed out pretty quickly.

Congrats on the job stability. All right, last but not least. Hi, Jordan and Jesse. I've been labeled Jesse now. I don't know why. Nice. But I'm in my mid-50s and have worked in the fashion design business for my whole adult life. It's a very tough career and I've been through several crazy jobs.

My age makes me a dinosaur in this field and my salary has definitely hit its peak. I have very little debt and my mortgage is nearly paid off. Unfortunately, my retirement savings are minimal. I have an opportunity to open up my own retail franchise. It would be the first one in my state and I believe in the product and feel that it would be successful. I don't have retail business experience, but I know the franchisor is very helpful with the setup and necessities to run the store. I'm a hardworking, intelligent person, so I believe I could make it work, but there's no guarantee it would earn enough to make more than I make now.

Is it crazy to take out loans and a second mortgage to pursue something that could take years to make money? I support my daughter and her young daughter, so I don't have a lot of room to take risks, but I'm desperate to get out of a cubicle and soul-crushing career. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thank you, Desperate by Design. This is a tougher one, because this could ruin you, especially if you. if you have no experience.

I think the field of business is just littered with franchisees that fail. Yes, the corporate office is helpful, but they're not the ones taking the risk. You know, this isn't McDonald's where they're going to evaluate the heck out of you and make sure you're fit for it. This is a different,

a lot of franchises are perfectly happy to let you fail and then take over. In fact, they probably have provisions in the agreement that allow them to take over the business if you end up not doing well with it. So be careful. I don't know this is fact,

but I know that franchises hate going out of business because it looks bad, especially once they've invested and helped you and all this stuff. There's a reason that McDonald's just don't go out of business. They will take over your stuff if you are not managing it the way that they want. So be very careful. I know you're wanting to escape what you're doing currently, but this could just be a recipe for disaster. The world is littered with people who have no experience in an industry who start a franchise and fail. My uncle started something, didn't know how to run the business. didn't know how to train the employees,

and it went under pretty quick, and he has debt, had to declare bankruptcy. It's just a big mess, big mess. And, you know, he was a contractor. He's not a dumb guy. He just didn't know how to run a retail franchise, and that, yes, there was tons of training, but it didn't help.

The management wasn't there. My tip, and you won't like it at all, work part-time for a branch of that same business, if you can, and I know you said you're going to be the only one in the area, so you probably can't do that. but I would say get a second job working part-time on weekends or something for another franchise owner in a similar niche, a similar business, become a manager and see what this is all about.

This will take a while. You might not love it. If so, though, that's a damn good indication you shouldn't leverage your life savings and take on debt to join in that same business. Look, you might not love working for someone else, but you've got to evaluate whether or not you don't like working for someone else or whether or not you just don't like that business. because you need to know all of the dirty little things that suck doing it.

Like you might think, oh, gas station is great, high margins. You know, and the customers barely ever come in. They just drive through, they get gas and leave, and I buy at this price, and I sell at this price. But then you've got to realize, like, some of the people who come in at 2 a.m. are stealing from you. Oh, you need to bulletproof glass. Oh, someone's got to clean the bathroom. Oh, I'll hire for that.

Okay, well, there go some of your margins. Like, you need to know these ins and outs because you can either get. get robbed blind or just fail. And look, if you do love it, you love working for that other person, you think it's great, but you could do a better job. Now you've learned a ton about the business. You've made a ton of little mistakes. You've gotten a lot of training all on someone else's dime, and you actually know what you're getting into. Jason, what do you think? I think you should call the other franchisees in the other states and talk to them about their experiences with corporate and if they would take the risk given his circumstances. Like lay it out. Like, look, I'm this old.

I don't have a lot of savings. How long did it take you to become profitable? Is this a company that you really want to work for? Because franchisees usually are kind of a talkative bunch. They trade ideas, but they also like to gripe about corporate shafting them over with mandatory sales. Like go back in the news and look at the subway outcry from the owners. I think this was like maybe a year or two ago when they were forced to bring back the $5 footlongs. That was a huge thing, but the franchisees had no choice.

So I don't know what franchisee is going to open. But there are sometimes, like you said, that corporate might not be your best friend. I would also do some competitive analysis in his area and the similar businesses that he will be competing with. And I know that's what you said to go get a job at, which would be a great way to get competitive analysis, to actually go work there and see if he can compete against them and then take him down if he does decide to do the franchise. And that's, I mean, that's really the only things that I can think of. But I think that would be a good starting point. Yeah, you've got to do your research on this.

You're just asking for trouble if you don't. And not just Google research. You've got to live this for a couple months at least. I've got a little pro tip. I actually, I fly using something called Clear, which doesn't require me to have ID when I fly, but it only works at certain airports. By the way, I've got some free three months,

if you want a referral to that. So just email me, Jordan atjordanharbanger.com. It's great because it's super fast. They cut you to the front of the line. But here's the problem. I flew to Burbank and they don't have Clear there. but they have it at SFO and LAX and other airports. So I got to Burbank and I was like, oh my gosh, I forgot my wallet.

And then trying to fly home, I didn't have any way to prove who I was. They require two forms of identification. And I realized, and the TSA guy told me this, he goes, do you have any prescriptions? No. Do you have any utility bills? No. Do you have any credit cards? No.

So now when I fly, I carry an old utility bill that has my current address on it and my name. And I also have an old prescription bill. bottle that has that as well. And I have an emergency credit card, which I believe is expired, but doesn't really matter because that will get you through TSA. And I know that coming up in October, every air traveler, Jason, is going to need a real ID. Okay, so you know this, right? What's going on with that? Yeah, real ID is a new thing. Well, actually, it's not that new, but the TSA has required people to have, quote, unquote, a real ID compliant license. Not all states. have this yet. So it's one of those things where they're not going to take your electricity bill

and your prescription to get on the plane. You need a real ID compliant license or another form of ID, like your passport, or I got a passport card when I renewed my passport, which is really cool because it just fits in your wallet. And it was like another five bucks. And it looks really, it looks official, but it is official. So I can get on a plane with that. But because one of the states that I was thinking of moving to did not have real ID. compliant licenses. So you're going to want to look into that starting in October 1st, 2020. It's going to change. But until then, definitely throw those old script bottles in your bag with your library card. Yeah, you're going to want that. Trust me. It's only a matter of time until

someone loses a wallet, gets their wallet stolen, and ends up at the airport. Or it's just buried somewhere and you don't know where. It's in the pocket of a pants that's folded deep in your luggage or in your checked bag. And you go, oh, crap. So in your carry-on in one of those compartments that you never use have those two things just sitting there recommendation of the week jason this one's all you conversations with a killer the ted bundy tapes do you know much about ted bundy besides um he was like a really charming dude who then murdered a bunch of women is a horrible person lots and lots and lots of women he was definitely a horrible person this is a four-part series on netflix where they have tapes from two journalists who got to actually sit with ted bundy while he was you know basically

awaiting to die on death row. So he could tell his story. And a lot of it is just Ted being Ted, which is a manipulative person, not really saying that he did anything because he didn't really admit to anything until like a day and a half before he got fried in the chair. But the entire story has a lot of interviews behind the scenes that a lot of people haven't seen before because my roommate loves true crime stuff. And she's like, this was really good.

This showed me more about Ted Bundy than I've ever wanted to know. And me too. I would recommend not watching this before you go to bed because I had nightmares all night last night. But man, this guy was scary and charming and funny, but scary. I think that's how Joe, isn't that how Joe Navarro kind of got started with his, with what he was doing? He ended up looking for one of the gals that Ted Bundy had killed and he thought, if I'd just known how to spot this guy, I could have got it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a frightening, frightening, dude, really. Good thing he is no longer with us. Not Joe Navarro. He's great. Ted Bundy.

Not so great. Joe's great. I hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. Don't forget you can email us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com to get your questions answered on the air. We'll always keep you anonymous. A link to the show notes for this episode can be found at Jordan Harbinger.com.

Go back and check out Jaron Lanier talking about social media manipulation and John Ruland talking about gifting. And of course, check out the blog post on the website if you haven't yet. If you want to know how I managed to book all these great guests for the show and manage my relationships using these systems and tiny habits, check out our level one course, which is free over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash level one. The problem with kicking the can down the road, well, you cannot make up for lost time when it comes to relationships and networking. The number one mistake I see people making is postponing this and not digging the well before they get thirsty. Once you need relationships, you are way too late. The drills take a few minutes per day.

That's the way I designed it. ignore this stuff at your own peril. You can find all that at Jordan Harbinger.com slash level one. I'm on Instagram and Twitter at Jordan Harbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show. And Jordan Harbinger.com slash YouTube is where video interviews are on YouTube, almost for every single show here. Jason?

My personal website is at jpd.me. And you can check out my tech podcast, grumpy old geeks at gog. Or your podcast player of choice. And if you dug the Jaron Lanier stuff this week, you should definitely check out the show because we talk about that stuff all the time. This show is co-produced with Jen Harbinger

and show notes by Robert Fogarty. Keep sending in those questions to Friday at Jordanharbinger.com. Share the show with those you love and even those you don't. We got a lot more in the pipe. Very excited for these upcoming shows and in the meantime,

do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen and we'll see you next time. This episode is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know podcast. Finding a new great podcast shouldn't be this hard to let me save you some time. If you like the Jordan Harbinger show,

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