The Jordan Harbinger Show - 171: Charlamagne Tha God | Turning the Tables on Fear and Anxiety

Episode Date: March 12, 2019

Charlamagne Tha God (@cthagod) cohosts The Breakfast Club and The Brilliant Idiots, and is the author of Shook One: Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me. What We Discuss with Charlamagne Tha God: An inside look at someone in the public eye who has struggled with a lifetime of anxiety. How concepts we took in stride even 10-20 years ago are shocking by today's standards. Charlamagne's early memories of dealing with anxiety before he knew it had a name, and how it shaped his world view. How is FEAR most commonly applied as an acronym for your life: Face Everything And Rise, or Fear Everything And Run? The external pressures we all face and have in common -- and what we can do to keep them in check. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with my producer, Jason DeFilippo. Anxiety is a scourge that many of us face, whether we're regular 9 to 5ers, parents, entrepreneurs, or celebrity talk show hosts. One of my favorite people to talk to is my friend Charlemagne the God, one of the most popular FM radio hosts in the world. I know a lot about Charlemagne, from his storied career to his legions of fans numbering in the millions, to his best-selling books. What I didn't know is that anxiety has been plaguing him for you. years and has dramatically affected his life. Today's discussion centers around an inside look at the life of someone in the public eye, the external pressures we all face and have in common, and of course, what we can do to manage them. If you're wondering how I managed to create all these amazing

relationships with guests like Charlemagne the God, check out six-minute networking over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. I've got a lot of tips and tricks in there that I use to systemize my outreach and my network maintenance. So if you want to make personal and professional connections, that's where you go to find out how I do it. Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. I hope you enjoy this very entertaining conversation with Charlemagne the God.

Do you have to be careful of what you say when you're on in other countries? Or it doesn't matter, right? They just censor out whatever they need to. I don't even. To be honest with you, man, I don't even care no more. Like, it was like a year of, you got to walk on eggshells and this and that.

And it's like, man, I can't work like that. Yeah. Like, people are going to get mad anyway. So it's just like, for me, it's just like, nowadays, don't even matter what you said today. They're pulling up shit that you said 10 years ago. I know. I wondered about that because, like, this new book,

Shook one is about anxiety. And I'm thinking, how can you not have anxiety if you're thinking, did I say something accidentally sort of maybe out of context could be considered racist in 1997? I don't know. Maybe.

It's on tape. Oh, I've got things that I know for a fact, I've probably, said a little bit of everything over the past 20 years in radio, television, YouTube, podcast, whatever it is. I'm sure there's plenty of things that you can take out of context. I've had plenty of moments where, like, I'm trying to explain, like, I got in trouble, you know, a little bit last year. I don't say trouble. It wasn't trouble. Because, you know, trouble is when you, you know, got to go to jail. Yeah. The principal's office. I didn't get in no trouble,

but people were upset because I was trying to explain rape culture. You know what I'm saying? Like, like a few years ago, this whole, that whole concept of rape culture was something new to us. He's like, rape culture, what is rape culture?

You know? I'm not even sure I know what it is. Is that just, what does that even mean? Basically, just American culture as a whole. What I mean by that is like, remember back to the future?

Yeah, the movie? Yes. And I remember when Biff was sexually assaulting George McFly's mom in the car? Oh, yeah, yeah. We didn't look at, probably back then, you probably didn't look at that.

No, he was just like a jerk. That sexual assault, but that's what it was. So something like that would fall under, you know, the rape culture. I get that, though. That's reasonable because he was, like, grabbing on her in the car. I remember Team Vogue had a headline, and Team Vogue said, is drunk sex rape.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But that's tough. See what you did just now? Yeah. You thought about it and you questioned it. Yeah. That's what I did.

My dumb ass just questioned it out loud. Oh, okay. Before I had a chance to, like, flesh it out. I was having this conversation with my listeners. And by the way, three, four years ago, it was fine when we were having this conversation with our listeners. But then four years later, when you want to take it and try to paint another narrative about me like,

oh, Charlie's a rapist, then you'll use those clips. You know what I'm saying? Like, they literally had me saying that it was like, oh, look, he admitted he raped his wife. I'm like, no. That the first time me and my wife ever had sex 20 years ago, she was pithy drunk and so was I. Like, yeah, that's the problem.

That's why I'm questioning because I'm like, if you both rape each other when you're drunk, then I guess that is. But if it's just one person's fault and you're both drunk, that's tough. But see, that wording, they rape each other. That doesn't make sense. Yeah, it sounds wild.

You know what I mean? It sounds, yeah. It sounds wild. But I don't have a problem laying on that cross because I just feel like those are conversations men should have with themselves and with each other

because that's the only way we're going to be able to correct a lot of the bullshit that's out here, right? We want to make the world a safer place for our women. I got three daughters. I want to make the world a safer place for them. So, I mean, if these are the kind of conversations that, you know, we have amongst each other and we're questioning, you know, past behavior or if I'm saying something, okay, if Teen Vogue's asking a question of a drunk sex rape, and I'm like, you know what? My guys, the smartest thing to do is when you're

both intoxicated, don't do anything. Yeah. Wait until both y'all is sober and y'all can make a decision from a sober perspective, you know what I'm saying? Doesn't matter if she's drunk, doesn't matter if you're drunk, it doesn't matter if you're drunk together. Just if alcohol's involved or drugs or anything, just leave it alone. Yeah, I agree. Simple as that. I think that's a conversation to have.

It is. Have you, by the way, have you ever talked with your guy friends about some of this stuff? It's scary what other guys think. Because you and I were thinking like, oh yeah, you know, I would never do, I would never like follow a girl into the bathroom, like, what kind of creep would do that? And then one of your boys will be like, oh, I've done that before, and you'll be like, wait, what? Oh, absolutely.

What are you talking about? Absolutely. It's shocking. I mean, look, you know, when you get older and your perspective changes, you start seeing things through a different lens, whether it's that lens of being a 40-year-old man, which I am now, or that lens of being a father, that lens of being a husband, you do start to look at past behaviors and even things that were normal to you at one point. Like, you're like, whoa, wait a minute.

Like, I can watch a movie like, juice. Oh, yeah. Man, I haven't seen that for a long time. Starring Tupac, Omar Epps. They're in that movie. And throughout that whole movie, Q, played by Omar Epps as a high school student who's sleeping with a nurse, an older woman.

And at one point in the movie, her ex-husband says to her, you still mess with that young boy? But that was the through line to the movie. And it wasn't a part of the movie The way they was even highlighting the fact that this older woman was messing with this young guy. It was just normal. You know what I mean?

Yeah. A movie like Belly where DMX is in there and the 16-year-old girl calls DMX's girl and it's like, yeah, I'm only 16 so you say we couldn't fuck you but I just suck his dick the night before last. Like, I'm looking at that shit like now. I'm like, what the fuck is we thinking?

I know. What the fuck was going on? Like that's my mindset now. Even like I referenced back to the future earlier. No, Biff was literally trying to sexual assault, sexually assault. And it was kind of back to the future essentially was like, you could take your kids to that movie. Yes. And they see that and you're just like, Biff.

You're not like, this is sexual assault. You're like, look at that guy. He has no manners. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. So it's just like, now that I'm old, I'm like, that was wild. Yeah. We were whaling.

Like, they were whiling in movies. They were wilding in the music. That's a good point. All that stuff, you do look back. and you go, what the f? And sometimes I think, is this just my, like, University of Michigan, like, super liberal education talking and then, but now it's like, that wasn't liberal enough. But back then I remember thinking, like, wow, everything I know was wrong.

Yeah, I didn't think that. I went hiking one. This is, like, one experience where I had. I went hiking once I get to the top of this hill, and there's this, like, stone or a plaque. And it said, this is a memorial to some guy, forget his name, whatever. The first white man to ever climb this hill. And I was like, why, who cares about that? But back then they were like, oh, this is special.

Because the people who came here before, they were Indian. So that didn't matter all. And he's probably been up and down that hill so much. Yeah. I'm sure. So technically, yeah, he was the first white man to climb that hill, but not the first person. Right. Yeah.

But it was like, oh, anybody who came here before this white guy didn't matter. Now this white dude climbed it, put a plaque up there. Make sure they put his name on it. My God. And I remember seeing that and going like, dang, you wouldn't see that now. But, yeah. I mean, listen, man, everything. we're talking about right now is absolutely true because, yes, it does give you anxiety,

but, you know, I am at the point where I just don't care no more. And the reason I don't care no more is because I know who I am and I know the work that I've put in to grow. I know the work that I've put in to evolve. So it's when, you know, and honestly, I still get those feelings. You get phone calls or you get texts. You don't know what somebody's about to tell you. You know what I'm saying?

You know, that's why I don't even have, like, I deleted my Twitter and all of that. He did. Yeah, because, I mean, every day it's literally like, you know, mine goes 99 plus. That's as much as it goes on Twitter. So you just know you got 99 plus messages. Mine should be in the tens of thousands of people talking about things that I don't want to talk about no more. Yeah. You understand what?

Yeah. Like, I don't, like, so what? Okay, that was, you pulled up an old tweet. You're pulling up old commentary. I don't care. You can't judge me by those standards anymore. I'm not that person anymore. None of us are.

I would hope not. Muhammad Ali said the person who's still thinking the same at 50 as he was at 30, wasted 20 years in his life. So I know I'm not the same person. So I can't let you keep bringing me back. What do you think then when you think about historical figures, like, oh, Benjamin Franklin, own slaves, I don't even know if that's, I assume that's true.

Do you think that, like, that's a value from another time, or are you like, no, that was still, like, beyond the pale messed up? That's a great question. We have these conversations. I mean, it definitely was a value from another time. You know what I'm saying? I mean, Benjamin Franklin did own slaves, but from what I read, Benjamin Franklin was one of those people who had empathy towards his slaves. You know what I'm saying? Or maybe Benjamin Franklin didn't own slaves.

I can't remember. That's why I said I don't know. It's fuzzy to me now. I always get all the founding fathers mixed up pretty much. that before either Benjamin Franklin owned slaves at one point and then realized it was wrong and freed his slaves or is that just what we read

because they were like let's whitewash this shit. Maybe. Or he never owned slaves. But either way that whole concept, the whole concept of slavery yeah. But the difference between slavery and a lot of other things, slavery was such an inhumane practice. Like these are human beings we're talking about. Yeah. Like

we've heard human scream before. Yeah, and they could speak. Like, how are you not picking up on this? That's what I'll get. This isn't cattle. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Even then.

Like, I feel bad when I see animals, and I'm not, like, vegan or anything. I'm not that, I'm not that empathetic, honestly. But I still, I wouldn't want to see somebody, like, kick a cat ever. So how could you have a bunch of people that you're like, you know what? I need to whip this person. They don't work hard enough today. That is, I can never wrap my mind around that. When you say you know better, you do better.

cool but what about is it how can you just move on to doing better after you know better when you've actually murdered people yeah and rape people and you know yeah like killed people's humanity and you know what I'm saying like slavery is a little different even though that was on you know what you're wrong that was the times that was the business of the times but you got to be a certain cruelhearted evil person to even participate yeah yeah yeah yeah In that. You know what I mean? Yeah.

There's no way that somebody was doing that and wasn't like, this is a little wrong, but I'm going to do it. For sure, everyone felt a little bit like, I would like to think people felt a little bit like this is messed up. I would hope so. I mean, I would hope that's why the emancipation proclamation was signed, even though I'm pretty sure it was more so about business and politics than actual human empathy.

But, you know, yeah, you would hope. You would hope so. I know you had anxiety plaguing you for a long time, but like, where did that come from? Because I know last time we talked, we were talking about you were afraid to end up under a tree like other guys from Monk's Corner. Yeah. And like just be a drunk or like a, I don't know, a drug addict or something like that hanging out. Was that what was driving the anxiety or was there something else to it? Like, where does it come from?

I don't know, man. I've been, you know, unpacking this in therapy for the longest. and I've always had the feeling. I just never knew what it was. I can remember being dropped off in first grade at Memmage Elementary School in Charleston, South Carolina and having a panic attack.

You know what I'm saying? Freaking out. I can remember that. Separation anxiety from that. Yeah, my mom, my mom dropped me up. I'm sitting here thinking about that day right now how I was just in tears, bawling. You know what I'm saying?

On my first day of first grade at Memmage Elementary School, just crying my eyes out, like not wanting to be left, alone in that class and not knowing knowing why. Like when I think back, when I think back to that, I was, I was having a panic attack. It was anxiety,

you know? So, I've always, I've always had it. You know what I mean? I've always, I remember they chalked up, always just stage fright. You know what I mean? Like, things like that when it was, you know, came time to, like, speak in front of the class or, you know, do, I remember we used to do rock soup.

It was a play called rock soup. I didn't want to be on stage. Like, little things like that. So I've always had anxiety, like just irrational fear and didn't quite know why. And I can remember, you know, I write about it in the book about Hurricane Hugo.

Yeah. How did that contribute to that? Because that's, that's like an illustration of uncertainty. Like, hey, everything could just get blown away, literally washed away. Yeah, I mean, for me that was, um, I said in the book that that was the first time I can remember really having anxiety, but no,

it was definitely not. I think about it more. It was the first grade, But Hugo was different because that's when everybody around me was panicking as well. In first grade, when you're sitting there crying in the class, everybody's like, oh, it's going to be okay. You're fine. My mom's going to be fine, whatever, whatever. But Hugo, it's like everybody's like, oh, my God, we might not have a house in the morning. Our trailer might be gone.

Oh, we might not make it through the night. Like, hell, get in the hallway and you do the hurricane, you know, whatever you got to do like this, which I don't even know what that protects you from. No, I think it's psychological. It's like, all right, do you. something. Don't just sit there. Yeah. So it was just like that was a major panic attack for me. And, you know, seeing everybody else flip out around me didn't help the situation at all. Yeah, you couldn't reach out and be like, hey, we're good. Everybody was freaking out.

Everybody was freaking out. And then like the next day, it was just like, yo, this two shot past, you know, and there was damage everywhere. And yes, people did lose their houses. And yes, people did lose their trailers. But we was alive, you know. So I don't, I don't know. if the lesson that that taught me was, you know, things do move on, like this two-shot path. I don't know if that was the lesson I was supposed to learn from that situation, but I think it did kind of help me cope just a little bit, because I was like, if this the worse it can get, then fine. Yeah.

We'll figure life out. But you still had anxiety even over the book launch, right? Like, what's going on in the head at that point? Because I know what anxiety feels like for me is like, I go, and Jen, my wife, she knows this. I'll go, huh, well, if this happens, then this can happen and then this can happen and then this. And it's like this dominole thing that's so ridiculous that if I was making it physically, like if I was setting up these dominoes, it would take me like six hours. That's what life is.

I posted a meme another day and I was like, um, anxiety. You know everything's going to go wrong. And then it's like me. Uh, no, it's not. Anxiety. But what if it does? You got me there. You know what I'm saying?

I guess that's literally. how it feels. And like for me, what drives me crazy about anxiety is I truly believe your thoughts become things. Like, I believe the law of attraction. I believe Rhonda Burns is the secret. So it's like the same way you can hold on the positive thoughts

and they'll manifest. I feel like if you hold on the negative thoughts too long, they'll manifest. So when you got all these negative thoughts in your head about what could go wrong and, you know, every bad thing that can possibly happen, if you hold on to that for too long, to me, that's when my anxiety kicks in even more because I'm like, all right, the bad thing's going to happen and it's going to be all your fault because you can't stop

thinking about it. So for me, that's why I got to flush my anxiety down to the toilet. I got to get this out of my mind immediately. But it's literally like what you described, like anything that can possibly go wrong, I will run that scenario through my head before I get to the one thing that could go right. And my anxiety is so stupid that when everything's going too well, you start to get suspicious? What?

I'm like, okay, what's the gag? Where's the shoe going to drop? Where it's wrong? What's the gag? You know? And that happened to me last year. Like, it was just a couple of things that happened to me. There was a few things that happened to me.

Good things or bad? Great things. Yeah. Great things. I mean, great things. Everything that I was going out pitching, I was selling everything. And then it's just like, boom.

Old tweets come back. Old freaking comments from podcasts. Old, old, old charges. You know what I'm saying? Stuff that I've gotten expunge from my record, stuff that I got found not guilty for, stuff that I'm completely innocent of, stuff that I've spoken about,

written about it in my books and everything. You know, I'm talking about the criminal sexual conduct with a minor charge. Like, I spoke about all of this before. And it just, it came back, and then all that stuff just went away. And I'm like, Hey, that's the shoe dropping.

Do you think that's a function of like, all right, every time you go up a couple rungs, somebody's got to try to take a swipe at you? Because it's just a visibility thing. Like, look, Corey Booker, you were just talking about how he was on earlier running for president. We're going to find somebody from his middle school that was like, oh, you know, he beat up white kids on the playground.

Oh, well, that means he's racist now or something like that, right? It's going to be something like that. That's exactly what it is, you know? And it comes into territory. And what I mean when I say it comes into territory is don't ask for this if you're not willing to accept that as well. And, you know, I'm a stern believer that nothing real can be threatened. You know, and I really truly do believe in God and I really do believe in the universe. So even when the devil takes a shot at you, even when the devil takes a shot at you, you know, you just got to know that you got on that whole armor of God and he's protecting you, you know?

And sometimes he may be blocking you from things that he don't want you to have at this moment. You know what I'm saying that you may not quite be ready for you. Because truth be told, it's things that I lost and still got paid for. No, seriously, because they even know, they know it's like, look, man, we know this is some bullshit. But, hey, we can't do this on our end because of the climate that we're in. So they just do your payout and then. Here's a check. Cool.

I'd rather have the opportunity. Sure. But, hey. Good consolation prize. Great consolation prize. Great. I got great consolation prize. Your agent must love that because he's like, so let me get this straight.

We don't have to do the work, but we get the money and I get to take a cut of that and go sell something else. Well, people don't realize, like, nowadays, you have moral clauses and everything, right? Yeah. Moral clauses really only affect what you got going on right now. Like, if you do some shit today, like, if there's some shit from 15, 20 years ago that was public, like, I'm a public figure. Like, I put everything, my truth is all I have. My experience is all I have. I don't hide anything.

So all of this stuff is things that people knew about, whether it's old comments, old tweets, old charges. I talk about all my criminal charges. I talk about everything I've ever been arrested for here. It's all on the table. Yes, I sold crack. Yes, I was sitting in the back seat of a car. My man shot a pistol. Yes, I did.

That happened. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't hide anything from my life because I truly feel like sometimes God lets things happen to you so he can work through you. And I think that it's up to all of us as individuals. We have to share our experiences because they will help other people. Yeah, well, I agree with that. You know what I'm saying? So even if I got, if I got to go through the shit because I shared too much, fine.

I'm cool with that. Because guess what? I reap the rewards too. So the same way I reap the so-called punishments or I take the so-called backlash in the heat, I get the rewards too, you know? And I got to take the good with the bad. Like those same words that I've uttered throughout my career have gotten me to this position. So those same words might cause me some heat every now and again too. Well, guess what?

I'm fine with that. I'm perfectly fine with that. I mean, you're right. It does help other people, because I had to start my show over in 2018 in February. So I started from scratch, and I thought, and I remember thinking, if Charlemagne can get fired four times and be where he is now,

and I can get fired once and I'll be all right. I got three more firings to go before I even have to worry about it. Fireings, that's light. Yeah. Honestly, that's, I'm so not scared of those nowadays, but that's because. You've been through it? Or that's because I still shop at Target.

and I get a lot of free clothes and I've saved a lot of money. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So you can afford to get fired? Yeah, I mean, I don't want to, but yeah, I could. And plus, you know, like, that's why ownership is so important.

Like, you just have to have other outlets of revenue to make money, you know what I mean? Like, I have one job, meaning that I work for IHeart Radio. Great cooperation, by the way. I heart is the best corporation in the motherfucking world. Good. Well played.

I'm being honest. Just because of the way they ride for their talent, you know what I'm saying? The way Bob Pittman and Richard Bressler, you know, ride for their talent. And my boss, Thea Mitcham, like, they just good people, man. Doc Winters, they ride for their talent. And, you know, that's my only job. And that's the job I don't mind having because I don't mind working for those individuals. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Like, I really don't. And it's really a partnership. We work together on a lot of things. But all my other sources of income come from good investments and things that I own. whether it's the podcast, whether it's the books, whether it's the TV production company, whatever it is. So, yeah, me getting fired right now,

that wouldn't scare me in no way, shape, before. Plus, it never scares me because it's just always like, sometimes when you're not ready to move, God will move you. You know what, the universe will move you and say, you know what, you should really be doing this right now instead of that, and you just got to embrace it. You said in your last book, shit is the best fertilizer. Yes, sir.

So I like that because it does, that has played out in my own, life too like oh my god what am i going to do now and then you raise your game up because you go i got to start over after 11 years what am i going to do be the best at something else or at the same thing but you got to do a hard reset it's like a kick in the ass that you wouldn't that you would not have gotten if you weren't backed into a corner word it up you just don't know sometimes you force to fight and you don't even know how strong you are until you're forced to fight until you're backed in that corner and all you got to do is all you have left to do is throw some motherfucking punches yeah and some kicks and whatever, and you fight your way out that corner.

And then now you're looking at your opponent, he on the ground, and you're standing over him. You know what I mean? Like, that's very, very rare. You know, it's very rare for a lot of people to get in that corner and fight their way out. Some people get in that corner and they, like, give up. They tap out. You know, I've never been one of those tap out type people because I really don't have, I really don't have any other options, you know,

and that's why in the book, Shook One, I use this acronym for fear called Face Everything and Rise, to fear everything and run. And I mean, sometimes that's what I do. I use my anxiety of fuel. You know, when I get those feelings in my stomach, when I get those feelings in my gut, it's just like, damn, it's mean something to me. You know what I mean?

It means something to me. Like, so if it means something to me, then I got to be willing to fight for it, you know? And that's what I do. I face my fears and I rise up from it. I like that. And I thought, so forget everything and run is, is do you consider that bad or you consider that an option?

So face everything and rise or forget everything. and run. Do you consider them both options or you always fight? Both of my options. You know what I'm saying? Like I almost got jumped in front of the radio station back in like 2012. I know. I remember. Yeah, a guy walked in behind me, punched me in the back of the head. You know, I don't know what's behind me. So I run up a little bit when I turn around. I see a dude, see another do with the camera, and I see two more dudes coming running at me. So I'm like, I'm getting a guy out of here because this is a plan. This is a plot. So this was like viral video, watch Charlamaker. Absolutely.

It's like, and the day before, they tried to set it up. You know, the day before, they, it was like a, let me see if he's by yourself. Let me see who's out here with him. Like, it was, they set it up the day before. Day after, they made their move. So it's just like, for me, I'm not letting y'all plan go through. I don't know what y'all got playing, but this guy got a camera. This dude hit me in the back of the head, too, just running across the street.

They might have laid me on the street and pissed on me or something. Like, I don't know what your plan was, but I wasn't sticking around to find out. So, that's a- You know now what that was all about? That's weird. I still don't know to this day. That's why you got wax hanging out, though. Well, yeah, and to keep him out of trouble.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Double. Double back. But that's something that would have happened anyway. That's my brother for 17 years. You know, shit, no longer now.

No, 17, 2019. I met Waxson in 2002 when he was in college. You know what I'm saying? At Benedict, at the time he was going to Allen University. Then he transferred to Benedict in Columbia, So I can line. And I was doing radio on the beach. Big DM 101.3, and eventually hot 1039.

So it's just like the same things me and Wax are doing now. We've been doing, you know, like he was with me all the time then. But now he's with me all the time and I can afford to pay him six figures. Yeah. And that's a great feeling, you know? And plus it keeps him out, like I said, keeps him out of trouble. You know what I mean? I can see him getting bored and doing something.

Yeah, he's grown a lot, though. He's grown tremendously. I mean, he's talking about somebody I met when he was like 20, two years old now they're 35 like you know what I'm saying different total different ballgame we got kids now like you know he's got a chicken farm you know he's got a chicken farm you know he's got a chicken farm well I's got a degree in business from Benedict you know like he oh it's a commercial chicken farm yeah oh I thought maybe he just had like a handful of pet chicken he sells chickens he sells organic chickens my wife will love that she wants a chicken farm yeah she can't wait

yeah you got to talk to wax jenn we get get the chicken discount chicken hook up that's another form of my anxiety too, though. What is? Just making sure that my people are taking care of. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You never feel like you're doing enough. That keeps me up at night, too, for sure. You never feel like you're doing enough of your people. You know what I'm saying? You feel like you could always be doing more. You could always be putting them in a better position. You know what I'm saying? You want to, you know, you want to acquire more so you can give them more, you know, but sometimes it's just about giving them an opportunity

to do things on their own, you know? So hopefully I'm that kind of person. Hopefully I'm that kind of leader that's doing that, you know. You're listening to the Jordan Harbinger show with our guest Charlemagne the God. We'll be right back. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. To learn more about our sponsors and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. If you'd like some tips on how to subscribe to the show, just go to Jordan Harbinger.com slash subscribe. Now back to our show with Charlemagne the God. Do you still get social media induced anxiety? Like, are you still, I know you got rid of Twitter, but you're still on Instagram. Do you look at other people's and you're like, oh, man, I should be doing this?

Yeah, I just read this great book called Digital Minimalism. Yeah, I just interviewed Cal Newport yesterday. Wow. I can't wait to interview him, man. Yeah, he's great. Have you read the book? Yeah. That shit is going to be a game change. I know. That shit is going to be one of those generational, no, like, yo, I mean, I'm not saying this as no shameless plug. I really feel like this generation needs to read Shook One, Anxiety, Playing Tricks on Me, which is my book on Anxiety and, you know, just me dealing with my mental health and therapy and stuff like that. And Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism.

This book is so amazing because everything I was going through, he put in this book. Yeah. And so now he's just giving me more tips and more tools on how to handle what I already already realized social media is not good for your mental health. That shit is fucking us up. We are not wired. They're always be wired. Like, we're literally in the information age, but everybody's, everybody's more engaged than they are actually informed.

Oh, yeah, that's a really good point. Yes, and we all fucking, like, you get this, you get these, these bits of information. We don't know if it's factual. We don't know if it's a lie. We don't know what's what. Right. But I'll share that shit. We share it.

Yeah. And we come to these conclusions about it. And we were arguing about things. We got all of these hypotheticals and we've based whole opinions and perceptions around these things that aren't even real. So what I learned to do is I refuse to be outraged, Jordan. You refuse to be outraged. I refuse to be outraged. He's like, no, I'm not.

I refuse to be outraged because nothing is what it seems on social media. You're only getting a bit of it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can think about, you know, when you saw the kid in the MAGA hat faced off with the Native American. Yeah. And I'm watching that clip. I'm like, I'm not going to repost this because I don't know what the whole context of this is. Then you get the whole context and you realize that it wasn't what we thought it was.

What was that all about? I didn't even get the whole cond. I just looked at it and I was like, if I was on the news and had a camera in my face, I'd have a weird look on my face too. I don't know if that kid's racist or if he's just uncomfortable. I don't know. It was three groups. You had the black Israel lights. You had the Native Americans.

You had the kids in the MAGA hats. The Black Israelites were screaming things at both parties. The Native Americans came over playing the drums to try to intervene between the Black Israelites and the kids, but they were facing the kids. The kids started dancing and stuff because, listen, you got to be a real soulless piece of shit to not appreciate some good-ass drums.

Okay? So the Native Americans are playing the drums. I don't care. When them drums is going, I don't care if you were racist, bigot, whatever, Them drums gonna move you. The point is it's supposed to get you moving, right? It's supposed to get you moving. So they started moving, and then I guess some of the Native Americans

or somebody thought that they were mocking them, and then the Native American walked closer to the crowd, and then this kid walks down, and it just looked worse than what it was, basically, you know what I'm saying? But it was a lot more moving part to it than just this Native American, I mean, this guy in a MAGA hat walking up on the Native American trying to punk him or being disrespectful. Like, it was a lot more to it than what that clip showed us.

So I didn't repost that. You know what I'm saying? Because, like I said, I refuse to be outraged until I get all the context of something. Like, even a situation like 21 Savage getting deported by ICE, when I see that in my mind, I'm like, that can't be the full story. This guy is a 25, 26-year-old rapper.

All of a sudden, ICE is just pulling him over. And he's from, like, the U.K., he's from like London or something. Domenica. He was born on an island called Dominican. Oh, okay. The U.K. owns this island. He moved here when he was five years old.

You know what I'm saying? He moved here? He moved to America when he was five. So how do you deport somebody who's been here for 20 years? I don't know. Like, you know, like, all of this stuff is like, huh? So when I see, but when I see stuff like that the news is reporting, he moved here when he was 14.

And, you know, he got arrested in 2014. Like, it's just all kind of, like, stuff that can't be possibly true. So you mean to tell me this guy has been living in for 14 years and never mentioned it? Been here since he was five. He's smart enough to know. hey, I'm not here legally, so I'm trying to figure it out. I mean, it's a long story behind that that I'm skipping over, but he's not here illegally.

Like, he's got younger brothers and sisters. All of them are, you know, citizens because they were born here, and under Barack Obama's dreamers program, they became citizens. But he's the oldest one. His mom had put in the paperwork, and then he turned 18, so he ended up having to do it himself. So he's just been in this holding pattern waiting to become a citizen, basically. He's got paid $1.8 million in taxes last year.

Like, what do you, like, what do you... Like, no, come back. He's not the one. He's not the one. Yes. Like, ICE is, you're going after the wrong guy. I'm saying all that to say, you see these stories and you really don't know the whole story. So I'm not, I can't come to an opinion about with limited information.

I just won't do it. And, you know, the book, Digital Minimalism has been so good for me, man, to answer your question I have to tell you and all that other shit. It's been so good for me because nothing causes... anxiety the way social media causes anxiety. And I'm just at that point in my life where I don't need to be a part of every conversation. No, definitely not, especially how do you focus on what matters? Because you've got millions of followers on social media. It's got to be hard for you to ignore social media, but also kind of need it for business

and have to be a part of it at that level. Well, like Kyle says in the book, Digital Minimalism, you got to treat it like a tool. Yeah. You got to treat it like a resource. You use it when you need it. You know? Like, I'm on the air 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. So, yeah, I'll be on social media.

You know what I'm saying? It's another practice that he talks about in the book where he talks about do it for an hour a day. And do, just like a cheat mill. You know? Like if you want to go on social media for an hour late at night or when you're not doing nothing, fine.

Just go. But after that hour, no more. Yeah, schedule it out. Schedule it out. You know what I mean? And I think that's actually dope. So it's just like little things like that. Like I deleted Snapchat off my phone, deleted Facebook off my phone,

deleted Twitter off my phone, the thing I got on my phone is Instagram, you know. And when I realized that it was really having to toll on my mental health is when I went on vacation on December 27th. You know, we do big family family vacations every year. We go away for the last two weeks of the year. Well, the last week of the year and then the first week of the New Year. And I love this island called Anguilla. It's like the most beautiful place in the world.

It gives me such, you know, great. peace of mind and um i got on the plane on the 27th i turned the phone off i threw it in my wife's bag and right then i say yo i'm not touching my phone this whole trip and i did not touch my phone the whole trip no social media no emails no text messages no phone calls it was to the point where like close friends of mine was emailing my wife like

where are y'all what's up like and like no i i had no reason why my daughters are with me my wife's with me I got friends with me family like who I need to talk to in this moment you know what I mean I wasn't talking to nobody when I tell you that my brain felt like it reset and it felt like it was like parts of my brain that were missing

that were growing back and I like that feeling and you know I can't let that smartphone take away that sense of peace you know what I'm saying I just I can't do it do you wake up and check your phone or do you schedule it out for

after you're done on the show? Like, when do you do it? I check my phone at around 545 every morning. So I wake up at 4.20. I pray, take a shower, read my daily affirmations. I got two of them. I read The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday, and I read Your Best Life by Joel O'Sty.

And after I read my affirmations, I get in the car, and I either listen to some 90s R&B or I listen to Open Super Soul Conversation. are I listen to nothing, you know? No Jordan Harbinger show, huh? Done with that. Not yet. Not yet.

Snip that out. Oprah's so, Oprah, so, no, I listen to your podcast, but I'm saying Oprah's soo soothing in the morning. Oh, yeah. Don't listen to me in the morning, man. That's too much. I can't even listen to myself in the morning. No, Oprah's just sue in the morning. Her voice, her tone, her demeanor, the way she talks to her guests.

She put, her guests always are in the same tone as her, and it's always something very informative, very educational, very spiritual. Yeah. You know, so it's just like, that's like, that's what I like to set the tone with. Yeah, she's great. I feel like before you go on that show, she must be like, drink this CBD tea that I got for you. Or she's like, you probably have to, like, meditate with her assistant for 20 minutes

before she lets you in the house. Exactly. Because everybody on the show is always like, oh, hey, how are you? I can't even get there. You definitely can't, like, on your show, you're never that calm. No. That's not your thing, though. Nah, I mean, it depends who I'm talking to, but I'm just like a, I get excited.

You're good at that, though. I admire that about you. Like, I saw you on Bill Maher, and my wife goes, oh, don't we know him? I was like, yeah, it's Charlemagne. She goes, oh, right. And you're, like, funny and you're on. But you're always like that. You're not, you don't walk in and go, like, all right, I got to be cool now.

Like, you're doing that out in the hallway. I heard you in the hallway. Yeah, because the easiest thing to be is yourself. Yeah. And one thing I've realized that 40 years old is I don't know who the fuck I am right now. I am having that, I don't want to say a problem. I'm having that phenomenon. Is it because of therapy?

Probably introspection therapy slash, like, having a hard reset last year and going, well, what do I want now? I don't want to do the other thing. That thing ended. Now I get to reset. I don't want to just jump into something because it's convenient. It's like when you break up with somebody. You can either jump into another relationship with somebody and then you're like, okay,

I guess I'm in this. Or now, guys are age, we want to be conscious with it. So it's different. I was listening to somebody on Oprah Super Soul conversation I don't remember who it was I want to say it was Eckhart Tolle but don't quote me on that

And it's so funny Because I'm riding And that's what he said He goes If you don't know who you are That's a good thing That's a relief Yeah

Because I'm like Yo Because you got to think At 40 I'm unlearning everything I've learned Because it doesn't serve me anymore Right

You know what I'm saying And I'm just In this new space of fatherhood even though my daughter's 10, my other daughter's three, I got a four-month-fold, and, you know, being a fateful husband, like giving my all to my wife, like not getting caught up in the lifestyle and being out here cheating on my wife or anything like that, like being a fateful husband, like all of this is new spaces to me,

you know what I'm saying? And it's a great space, but the wildest thing in the world is when you realize, damn, everything I thought I knew, I don't know. Yeah, and all the things you thought were important Are not important At all At all, like complete bullshit I bet there was a time where you thought

I'm gonna get a lot of Instagram followers It's gonna be amazing That must have been a thing at some point Yeah, Twitter was, you know what's so funny? Instagram kind of just came with the territory Twitter was also, Twitter was definitely one of those things like, oh, I gotta get more Twitter followers When Instagram just sort of happened

Like it was almost like all the Instagram The Twitter followers just started going over to Instagram I ended up getting more Instagram follows than I did Twitter by accident And so, like, for me, it's like, okay, cool. I got the Twitter, I got the Instagram follow, the Twitter followers. Shit, even, another thing that, you know, had me trying to figure things out is when you become a millionaire. Mm-hmm.

You know? Not even just a one millionaire, but you got a few million in the bank, you know what I'm saying? Like, you never expected that of yourself probably. You never thought of it. Like, I mean, of course you think of it. Well, you wished for it to happen, but you don't think, like, I'm, seeing the zeroes is different. I just wish to be successful. I just wish to be successful.

And just like, you know, old habits are when you used to sell, when I used to sell, when I used to sell, I used to like to see my bank account just get, I used to like to see that knot just get bigger and bigger and bigger and big. You kept the money in the bank from the crack sale? No, no, no, I mean, like literally the knot. Oh, literally. So the money, like the not would bigger, bigger, like, you know what I mean? Hundreds, hundreds, hundreds, like that big not. It might have been just $3,000, $4,000.

Sure. I just like having that big knot. And it's just like now I like seeing those zeros accumulate. You know what I'm saying? And you're looking at this shit like, oh, wow. I didn't, when did that happen? Yeah. Oh, did this check not?

Like, you know what I'm saying? So it's just like things happen really fast. But then you've got to be careful with that, right? Because what if you look at that and then something happens, you've got to spend it, help out a family member. It goes down the drain somehow. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that because I don't have vices. I'm not a jewelry guy.

I'm not a car guy. I'm not stunting at the script club. I don't have any of those vices. That's why I think God knew when to bless me with me. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I don't have nothing to prove. You know what I'm saying?

I don't got no side kids. I got to take care. Like, I don't have any of that. You know what I'm saying? So literally, that's where my money goes to. My money goes to investing in myself, but also investing in others because I always want to be the adult that I needed when I was a kid.

I can think about all the times when I was a kid. When I was a young up-and-coming radio personality, and it was things that I wanted to do. I had ideas for certain things, but, you know, financially, it may have stopped me from doing things the way I wanted to. So I get a kick out of watching my youngings, you know, the people I call my nieces, like, prosper, you know what I'm saying? If they need something and it can help their career in a different way,

like, yeah, yeah, go do that. I just get a kick out of that. Out of helping other people that are. Yeah, but the anxiety comes from. What if I can't do this anymore? Like, maybe that's what you're saying to your point. Yeah, like, what if? Yeah, like, will I still be, like, you might, and I'm not trying to put a negative question in your head, but you, someone in your position might think, will people still care about me the same if I can't be as helpful as I am right now?

Like, I would worry about that. Yeah. You're right. But that's why help isn't always financial. Of course. Of course. I'm saying, I feel like anybody can be a public servant. Like, I feel like we're, that's what I feel like my main.

role is. I'm here to serve the needs of the public. You know, Wayne W. Dyer said that your true purpose in life comes through service of others. So I really feel that way. So you can be the richest man or the poorest man. You can be of service to somebody. You know what I'm saying? You might have a bottle of water and give a homeless person. You know what I'm saying? You might

can buy a homeless person a cup of hot cocoa. You might, can help somebody with their luggage on the plane. Any of us can be of service. You might just have some experience and some knowledge that a young and might need. You know? So anybody can be. of service. So it's not always about financial. You're listening to the Jordan Harbinger show with our guest, Charlemagne the God.

We'll be back right after this. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers is what keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com slash deals. And don't forget the worksheet for today's episode. That link is in the show notes at jordanharbinger.com slash podcast. And if you're listening to this on the overcast player for iOS, please click that little star at the bottom. It really helps. helps us out. And now for the conclusion of our show with Charlemagne the God. Dr. Ish in your book, I thought it was cool how you have your therapist also chime in.

It's like every other chapter and he kind of breaks down an idea in a very therapist-y kind of way. Well, he's not, Dr. Ish just my real therapist. I wanted to use my real therapist, but then again, I didn't because I want to be selfish. That's my, my therapist. And what I was trying to do, I was actually trying to transcribe everything my therapist was telling me. So those stories in the book was things I would be talking to my therapist about, and then she would, you know, give me her diagnosis on it. And I was trying to transcribe that, but I realized that what she was telling me wasn't for me to share with people. It was just for me to have a better understanding what I was going through so I could share my experiences with people. But I wanted to have a doctor in the book.

So my book agent, Nina and Jan, they just had the idea of using Dr. Isch. And Dr. Ishing was great. he came with those clinical correlations. He seems really sharp. One thing I love that he said was our brains will answer any question we ask of it, so we got to make sure to ask good questions. Because I find that I'm still in many ways childish in that I blame myself for things that happened to me, which I didn't realize consciously at the time, probably until I read your book,

that children think that way. Like, oh, mom and dad left me at the grocery store, so that means I'm bad. or if mom and day got divorced, that means something about me. I think I still do that to a certain extent, but I think probably all adults might do that. Because why would we outgrow that? It seems like a weird thing to outgrow. Yeah, I definitely still do that.

You know what I mean? That's why I beat myself up over any and everything. Yeah. You know, but sometimes, man, you have to realize that it has nothing to do with you. Like, you know, we take things personal way too much. Yeah. You know, like a lot of times we, I have no reason to take things personal. Like sometimes people are just assholes.

You know what I'm saying? Sometimes people are just fuck boys. You know what I'm saying? Like that's the truth to the matter. So it's like sometimes you encounter these fuck boys and you encounter these assholes. And when you encounter them, their negative energy comes into your circumference. And like you got to deal with that negative energy. And sometimes you hold on to it yourself.

And you're like, damn, why didn't I see that coming? Or, damn, why did I stick around this long with this person? You know, why did I allow them to talk to me like that? And it's just like, man, that's just life. That's just a way that it is. You're going to encounter people like that throughout your journey. And you just got to like, you got to just shake it off. Like, it's not on you.

Like, you know, but I still do, I blame myself for a lot of things. But I mean, I think there's nothing wrong with accountability. I don't think there's nothing wrong with holding yourself accountable for things you may have said, things you may have done. Because even if, like, for example, if somebody pulls up old tweets of mine and our old comment, and they put it out, yeah, you can get mad at that person, but you did say it. Yeah, sure. You did tweet it. You know what I'm saying?

But I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I don't know who that motherfucker was 10 years ago. I'm talking about me. Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't know what I was on 10 years ago. I just know it was some bullshit and I'm not on that now, you know? Yeah, so we have to kind of be okay. I don't want to say forgive yourself, but to realize, yeah, I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. and that's normal

and I'm not going to feel bad about about that stuff. You didn't kill nobody. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like nobody's dead because of something that you said something that you did.

Like there's certain things that, you know, you can never get over. You know what I'm saying? Or maybe, I don't know. I'm not going to say never get over. I just don't know if I could get over certain things that could happen

to somebody that would be permanent. You know what I'm saying? Like permanent damage that was caused to a person. But like, nine times of the 10, you understand the role you played in whatever the situation was. Like I say, even when you said something or tweeted something, like, that's 100% you. As long as you know you're not there anymore, or you can look back on something and say,

damn, that makes me uncomfortable to even see that I said that now, see that I tweeted, that the lesson has been learned. You know what I'm saying? It's a lesson, not a life sentence. You know what I'm saying? Like it was a lesson in that situation. It's not a life sentence. It's not something to hold on until you die.

New idea for a Facebook social media feature. Automatically, after three years, two years, just be like, oh, can't go back any further. I think it should be four. Four years? Because that's graduation. Oh, yeah. So after you graduate, it's like, cool, middle school is cut off.

You go graduate college, high school is cut off. That's it. That's it. That's college is four years sometimes. Unless you go get a master's, I think it should be four years. I think every four years, every, like, just like a presidential term, we should be seeing where people are. You know what I'm saying?

Where are they at in their lives? Has there been growth? Has there been evolution? Can we see it? If we can see it, cool. You know what I'm saying? Move on. Only time you should be digging up old stuff is when the person's behavior hasn't changed

and they're still exhibiting the same behaviors now that they did 10 years ago. So then you can pull it up and say, look, this motherfucker has a history of this bullshit. You know what I mean? Yeah. That makes sense. How glad are you, by the way, that stuff you did pre-social media is not archived or memorialized anywhere that people can get it easy. Like you and I are in a weird situation

because we got 10, 20 years of radio or something that people could dig up. But before that, I don't know. For most of us, I think, at least we weren't like on our phone in a bad mood typing something, send, tweet, whatever. The worst.

The worst. I don't know. I mean, I got a bunch of ad checks. And I would have to go back and listen to some of those ad checks. I mean, from what I know, I've always been this way. You know what I'm saying?

Which way? Just me. Like, I mean, it's always open, honest. I don't think I got caught up in any stick of doing things that probably wasn't me until Breakfast Club. So you think the stuff that happened that you regret or that you maybe not regret, that you think got you in trouble is a result of what, you being not yourself or like you trying to be something different? I think that when you are a radio personality, TV personality, author, whatever it is, and you're a public figure,

and you see things about yourself. Meaning, like, people write up things about you in magazines. Yeah. People say things about you on social media, YouTube comments. I think subconsciously, if you're taking all of this shit in, then you start giving people what you think they want. You start seeing what people like about you, and subconsciously you start giving them that.

Yeah, you amplify that. Yeah, without even really knowing it. You know what I'm saying? You give them that. Like somebody's like, oh, Shalomey's the Black Howard Stern. You're like, oh, this is what y'all like. But then it's like, what Howard are we talking here?

Because if you're talking to 80-90s, Howard, that's just the times up me too shit waiting to happen. You know what I'm saying? But if you're talking about Howard now, then you're talking about a married man who has done a lot of therapy, is a great interviewer, a great observationist. So it's just like, which Howard are you referring to?

Sure. me maybe not knowing any better okay they must be talking about wild crazy out of control how you know so you start doing more of that you start saying wild shit in interviews you start saying creepy shit in interviews you know what I'm saying you do that you know subconsciously and then people check you you know people check you your homegirls check you your wife checks you then you're sitting back and you observing your own behavior and you're like oh that was whack you know what I mean like simple things like I remember I used to always refus you're I'd refer to a woman as vintage vagina until a woman,

which I thought was a compliment. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Oh, I see. Yeah, because it's like, yo, any woman that's over the age of 40 who's aging like wine and not milk. And then your home girl say to you, you shouldn't say that because you're reducing a woman to their body parts.

And you're like, oh, I never thought about it. You know what I'm saying? I just thought that was a compliment. I used to tell women, I want to suck a fart out your butt. I used to say it was a top five list of women who's who I was, who I wanted to suck a fire out there, but to me, that's a new way of saying I drink your bath water, which is just as disgusting. It's just as disgusting, but I'm just as disgusting, but I'm just saying it in a modern way. You know, and people are like, suck a firebed, and I'm like, yeah, it's like a bong hit.

And everybody laughed. So, you know, that was some shit I used to say. I can't tell if I'm laughing because it's uncomfortable or because it's funny. That's right. I'm on that, like, it is both. You know, but then you realize, like, that's not nothing to be saying the women either. You know what I'm saying? So like I'm saying, like I said, you go through all of these different things where you listen to all of these things people are saying about you what people like and you subconsciously give them that and then you know realize like that shit is whack like especially if you play to the wrong because look like there's a lot of people who write in they're like oh I love the intelligent interviews you get good stuff out of your

guests you know you ask charlemagne questions about stuff that we can use not just about drama whatever so so I could play to that and that would make me better but often those are aren't the loud people. The loud people are the ones who are like the lowest common denominator. Yeah. And so you play to them, you're turning up the wrong volume.

Yeah. If you're amplifying the wrong stuff. And that's what I did. You know, and that's why I certainly believe that in order to truly lead the orchestra, you got to turn you back on the crowd altogether. Yeah.

You know, and that's what I have been doing for the past four to five years, whether people realize it or not. You know, and it's just like it's certain things. I wanted to put more medicine in the candy. You know, I want, and that's why you see more spiritual leaders on Breakfast Club.

You see more political people, you know, you've got entrepreneurs, like just things that our community can really use in between the Soldier Boys and the Takashi 6-9s and the Kodak Blacks and all that ratchet shit. But even, it's jewels in there, you know. The only thing I was trying to tell Takashi 6-9 was like, bro, if you don't change your lifestyle, you're going to end up in jail a day. You know, people thought it was a game. Like, they thought I was trolling him when I first had him on Breakfast Club, but nah, like watching guys like him really, they give me anxiety because I'm like, bro, I know how this is going to end. This ain't new.

This is a rerun. I've seen your kind a million times. Like, this rap shit is not going to save you. This rap shit didn't save Biggie. This rap shit didn't save Pac. What makes a thing that's going to save you? You know what I'm saying? So now he's in jail.

So now I can look back on that moment. moment and use that as a teachable moment to these youngies. Yeah. You know? So you think being a good example is important? Because I definitely think being a good example is really important. And I get disappointed when I see people with a lot of influence be like, it's not my responsibility to be a good person.

Like these kids, they make their own decisions. They make decisions based on looking at people like you and I and that they can relate to and then they choose. There are people that ask, what would Charlemagne do in this situation? And if they think, oh, he'd say some ratchet-ass shit, they're going to do that. You're right. Yeah, 100% correct. Yeah, I think that being a good influence is super important because whether or not,

whether we realize it or not, we are influencing a whole other generation. Like, I get that all the time. I mean, my daughter's chilling in competition yesterday. One of the security dudes come sit by me, he goes, man, I learned so much from you. bro, I write books. I talk for a living. I'm sure they're learning something for me. Hopefully, yeah.

And all I'm doing is sharing my experiences. I'm not an expert at nothing. All I have is some experiences that I've decided to share with people. Good, bad, ugly. Doesn't matter. I'm sharing it all. And I think that, you know, yeah, it's our duty to influence people in the right way. You know what I'm saying?

I love, you know, watching people gravitate towards the Angela Rye. I love, you know, when people start, you know, paying attention to Pastor John Gray, you know, because of the breakfast club. Like, whatever it is. Like, I love bringing these new voices or these elders, these OGs. I love bringing them on our platform and, like, saying, here. We gave you this candy last week. We gave you this candy yesterday. But here's some medicine, you know what I'm saying?

I love him Cory Booker Kamala Harris. wants to come on the breakfast club because they want to talk to our audience. You know what I'm saying? Like they want, they know that we have a certain amount of influence and they want to co-op that for a little bit. I don't have a problem with that as long as you're putting the right things out there. Yeah. To our people. You're a massive proponent of therapy now, though, huh? Yes. What, I mean, I won't ask what prompted that because we kind of know already that it's good for everyone. But why, why do you love it? Why do you think, because you're in your book, you're like, everybody should do this.

Everybody should do this. I love it because for me, I'm a person who likes to talk. You know what I'm saying? I like to vent. Like, it eats me up when I got to keep things on my chest. And it's things that, you know, I have yet to share with the world

that I can't wait to share with the world one day because I know that these things are holding me back, you know. They're just like baking in the oven right now. They're just baking in the oven and I'm just waiting for the right opportunity to speak on. A lot of things that have happened. to me in particular in this industry. You know what I'm saying?

And yeah, I just can't wait to have those conversations, but until I can have those conversations publicly, I gotta have those conversations with my therapist. You know, it's different, you know, it's one thing to share things with friends, it's one thing to share things with your wife, but, you know, sometimes you just need that professional opinion, you know, to make sure that, make sure you're not bugging out.

And, you know, therapy to me is like, Like, it's really like having a junky-ass closet. And you got clothes everywhere in the closet, sneakers everywhere in the closet, and then you're going there with an organizer and you start packing away things that you don't want anymore, things that don't serve you. You ship those off to Goodwill.

The things you want to keep, you fold them up, you hang them up nice and neat, you organize them, you know what I'm saying? And then that way you got room to bring in new stuff. That's what therapy, years to me. And I think about how, like, my father, who I love, he told me for the first time over Thanksgiving the last year that he was going to therapy two and three times a week, that he tried to kill himself 30-something years ago, you know, but he didn't because he saw a

picture of me and my sister and my mom at the time. There was only four of us at the time. Come out, two younger brothers and younger sister weren't born yet. But yeah, he wanted to kill himself, He was going to therapy 200 times a week. He tried 10 to 12 different medications, you know, for his mental health. And he gets a check for mental health issues. You know what I'm saying? It's like, yo, if I didn't know that when I was a kid, then I would have known why I would get depressed sometimes.

Or I would have these scream highs and these are scream lows. I would have known about my anxiety, you know. Like I would have been able to get a handle on all of this stuff a lot earlier. And I probably wouldn't be 40 years old, not knowing who the hell I am. right now, you know, so I encourage everybody to go to therapy, same way I encourage everybody to work out. Same way I encourage everybody to go to the gym. That's what therapy is. You know what I'm saying? Therapy is just some brain calisthenics, you know what I mean? Go and get that flushed out, you know? Like, it's like giving your brain a bath. That's how, that's how I look at it. And I love it.

I thought it was interesting that you said most black people like don't go to therapy. It's just not a thing that you do in the community or whatever. I mean, I think that's, true for a lot of people, but I didn't even think about it being specifically not that common among people in the black community. Why do you think that is? Well, I mean, think about how many resources black people already don't have. So I, yeah, I mean, I guess I never, obviously, of course, I don't think about that. So growing up in the hood or growing up in a rural area like Montau-Sacanacan is just like a lot of resources and stuff we already don't have. So why would therapy be on that list? You know what I'm saying? And most of the therapists are white. So why would a black person go

and sit down and talk to a white person about their problems when in their mind a white person has caused probably 90% of those problems. You know, so that's all I think it is. It's just a lack of information and a lack of resources. Like those resources genuinely are not available. And if they are, nobody's talking about them. Like I said, my father was gone, but he never told me.

You know, my father never told me that he was in rehab. Like, I just figured that out on my own. I used to go visit him and then realize, oh, he was in rehab. Like, I knew he had problems with drugs and alcohol. but I didn't really, really realize that until I got older, and he would talk to me about it a little bit, but nobody was talking about therapy back then.

The only time I saw therapy was on Frasier. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Or Tony Childs was, I think she might have been in therapy on girlfriends, like, Suuette Jail Marie Jones, that's my homie, but it's like I didn't, I didn't nobody knew about therapy.

Like, nobody was talking about therapy. That's why I talk about it so openly. You know what I'm saying? Like, I talk about it so openly because I'm trying to make up for all the years in black America that it wasn't being talked. about because I know for a fact that if you get your mind right, everything else will fall into place. I truly believe that.

I truly believe that your brain is that powerful. When we talk about the law of attraction, when we talk about the secret by Ron DeBurn, like, your thoughts truly can become things. So if your brain is filled with anxiousness and insecurity and low self-esteem, like, what do you think you're going to be attracting in your life? So I want all of us to be able to go, know that it's normal to have these feelings, but it's even more normal to flush them out. It's even more normal to talk them through with somebody.

It's even more normal for a therapist to recommend you some practices that can help you scrimphing your mind. You know, so I'm going to be champion in therapy until the day. I die. Do you have people being like, oh, you change? Because guys and guys from the old neighborhood or where you grew up, are they like, oh, you change. You're different now.

Because you talk a little bit about people feeling like, stuck in where they came from instead of being like liberated by that or instead of feeling empowered by that. Tell me why you think it's a bad idea for people to like go back to the hood or like go back and you know what I mean? It's not a bad idea.

Like you got to go back to make a way. You know what I'm saying? You go back to give back. You know what I'm saying? But I'm not about to go back and like sit under the tree with y'all and kick it and, you know, drink liquor and smoke weed.

Like I'm not about to do all of that, you know what I'm saying, just because that's not my lifestyle anymore. Plus, that's just a waste of time. That's just a much of a waste of time of me as being on social media, you know? But, yeah, people do say I've changed because I have. And they should too. Matter of fact, the problem isn't that I changed. The problem is you didn't change.

You didn't evolve. You didn't grow. You are still there stuck on stupid. Like I saw somebody on social media, you know, somebody from my hometown. I thought she was my home girl, but I guess you don't like me. She posted that, she said, he's coming out with another book of lies. And then somebody said, left a comment to her. And she said, he's fake and a wannabe.

And I'm like, a wannabe what? Like, a wannabe what? I'm 40 years old. I'm a nationally syndicated radio personality. New York Times bestselling author. I produce TV shows, getting into the film world, I have my own businesses, I have a podcast network. What do I want to be? Yeah, yeah.

Like, I want to know, like, what do you, like, what are you, you're in Monk's Corner, South Carolina, my hometown that I love dearly. Want to be what? Yeah. Like, I want to know what do I want to be that I'm already not. Yeah. Like, I'm not out here pretending to be no gangster. no thug because why would I want to be that? I'm not pretending to be no street nigger.

Like, why would I want to be that? I did that already. Been there, done that, got me nowhere, except for jail and almost dead. It almost broke sitting under the tree until I changed my ways and changed my habits and put myself in a different position to be where I'm at right now in order for you to be talking about me on Facebook because I'm putting out a number. another, because I put out another national bestseller. How do you protect your mind then when you see stuff, hear stuff like that?

How do you, because I'm sure your gut is like, you know what? Fuck you. And then you're like, wait, hold on. I got to put something on there. You're right. That's fine. I do say that. I'd be like, fuck you.

Or fuck you'll come in my mind. And then I'd be like, you know what? God bless you. God bless them. You know what I'm saying? That's how you protect your mind. You protect your mind by really understanding that comes into territory. Michael Meg said it.

Michael Mech said, a man who has no critics likely has no success. So I'm used to all the critique. I'm used to all the criticism, you know, but what I won't be doing is consuming it all. So I don't have Twitter on my phone. I don't care what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? Like when I post Instagram captures, you know what I do now?

When I post Instagram pictures or videos, I log out. I post and I log out. So you can't just open and scroll. You have to, like, type your password. I have to type my password in, and then when I do get in, I got to make a concerted effort. Like, I mean, a concentrated effort to go look at my comments. I don't do that. Like, I don't care.

Like, I really, I have no other way of saying how much I don't care what it is you got to say about me. Good, bad, are indifferent. I appreciate it all. You know what I'm saying? The reason I appreciate it all is because there's this thing called engagement. and the more you talk about me, whether you know it or not. Pops up to the top.

So if you don't look at it, you only get the benefit. Because your stuff pops up top and you don't see any of it so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And by the way, that helps with the budgets too. When these companies are looking

and they're like, well, you damn sure gets mentioned on social media a lot. Yeah, 1,200 comments. Oh, they all hate him. I don't give a shit. Give him a raise. Give him a raise. You know what?

We need those 1,200 people that hate him there was 20,000 that hate him to see this fucking ad. Yeah, that's right. They're going to watch this show because they're going to be like, look at this dumbass. Hey, man. Watch every episode of this. That is the Howard Stern effect. Yeah, that is true.

They used to say that people, they used to say that the people who love Howard, no, the people who hate Howard listen twice as much as the people who love him. I totally believe that. You see these political shows and all the one-star review everywhere through iTunes, all this stuff is like, you're a racist piece of shit. And then you're like, man, this guy's a top 20 show. Half or more of his audience, Sam Harris has the same problem. Half of his million downloads per episode are people who are like,

I can't wait to see what this idiot, racist piece of crap says this time. We're listening to, we're in the digital attention age. You know what I'm saying? So it's a digital attention economy, right? And being that it's a digital attention economy, you really don't lose if you're getting mentioned on social media. Like, it doesn't matter whether it's good or bad because you got people who hate you who're going to go hard. And you got people who love you, that's going to go hard.

And all they're doing is just constantly keeping your name in the ecosystem. Yeah. As long as you don't optimize for that, because then you make yourself miserable. That's when you become Tommy Lauren. You know what I'm saying? When you, when you, when your goal is to piss people to fuck off just so you get mentioned, that's when you become her. And that's whack. because that don't last.

You know what I'm saying? Like you got to be organic. Like I don't, I don't, I don't scribe to piss people off, not at all. I have an opinion about things. I say things. People agree or they don't, they disagree. They either like me for it or they hate me for it. Or they just have a conversation about it.

It might be just something I said to spark a conversation. I'm cool with that too. Like we had killer mic on the show last week, him and DJN be going at it. Conversation started on social media about public school versus private school. And when I'm out and about, when I've been out and about all this week, people have been coming to me and talking to me, about that conversation in public school versus private school. So those are good things.

You know what I'm saying? Like we're going to have Corey book on tomorrow. People are going to be coming to me, how's Corey in person? Is you think he can do it? That's great. That's going to spark conversation. So it's just like, as long as a genuine,

organic conversation is happening, cool. But if you're really just one of these people who's saying shit for attention, to me you're just like a shock jock. And there's no value in shock. Never has been. When I listen to 70s and the 80s, I guess maybe it's just 80s,

where it's like they're telling silly stories. They're talking about like, look at my, look at this fun thing that happened. I went to my friend's house and the food was really bad or something like that. It's like it's fun and it's freedom, self-expression. And now it's like drugs, guns, girls. It's different now somehow. I can't put my finger on it, but it's like a different narrative entirely. I get what you're saying, but hip hop is not just that.

Like, you know, hip hop is that. on the surface when it's radio, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, you got the biggest rappers in the world are people who have substance. Kendrick Lamar. That's true. Jay Cole, you know, even Drake. I mean, Drake has substance in his music, you know what I mean?

That's true. I don't know why I think, maybe it's just what they're playing. It's what they're playing. It's when I was in high school or something. But it might be, I mean, you're not entirely wrong. I'm just saying that it's a pie. Yeah.

It's a lot of things. different toppings on this pie. You know what I'm saying? But it's all one pie. It's all pizza. But there's a lot of different topics on this pizza. It's the pizza with everything on it because you all going to have your guys who rap about the guns and the drug use and, you know, you're all going to rap about the guys who are

misogynistic and, you know, they over-sexualized women. You're going to have all of that. But you still have the people who are socially conscious. My favorite rapper right now is a woman. My favorite rapper of all the rappers is a woman. is a woman from North Carolina named Rhapsody. I don't think there's nobody doper than Rhapsody. I look forward to hearing her rap.

I think she is the best rapper of this new generation, this new era. And like, she's just socially conscious. And not even socially conscious in like a deep, you know, most, I don't even want to say most depth, but just like a deep political way. Just like regular smegular girl from the rural area of North Carolina

just that's observant. You know what I'm saying? That knows what's going on in the White House. That knows what's going on in the world as far as social justice. It's like, it's smart, you know? And like that's what I vibe to. But then I might want throwing

some 21 Savage too. You know what I'm? I'm saying? I might want throwing some Kodak Black too. By the way, two guys who people would probably look at and say, yo, all they rap about is guns and drugs, but even them, they got a lot of socially redeeming value in their music. So it's just really all about

where you get your hip hop from and what kind of hip hop, I guess, you're listening to at the moment. I guess I was just thinking about what was on the radio, probably back when I listened to the radio, which is probably like 10 years plus the FM band.

Of course, now everything's been streaming. and I've been a nerd for a hell of a long time. So, yeah. When you let other people choose your music, I guess you get that shift instead of when you curate, which is actually kind of a good metaphor for what you should be doing with everything in your life. It's like, find what you like,

not what other people are putting in front of you. We live in a world of constant curation. So it's just like, you can make your own playlist, you know what I'm saying? You can subscribe to whatever radio you want to listen to Pandora radio, I-Hart, whatever it is. Like, you can literally listen to just what you want to listen to all the time. man. Like if you throw on one of these

playlists, like say you say you want to listen to Kendrick Lamar, he might recommend Rhapsody. They might recommend Chance to Rap, but they might recommend, you know, schoolboy Q, any of these guys that are really on that same wavelength you're looking for, you know? You talk in the book about

constructive versus non-constructive worry because I was going to say, do you still worry about anything? Do you see that as constructive? But you do a little bit of both, right? I definitely do a lot of both, I feel like. I definitely do a lot of both. Like, how do we make that shift if we tend to worry about tons of stuff? Yeah, it's interesting, right?

Because when I think about constructive worry, I often wonder is worrying constructive at all? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe because then it makes me get prepared for stuff. Like, if I didn't worry at all, would I have read your book? Would I've been like, I'm good? I'll just show up. Yeah.

I don't know. Like, worry makes you, does worry make you go to the gym? Does worry make you go to a therapist? Does worry make you eat right? Does worry make you treat your wife like the queen that she is? Does worry make you be the best father? I think so. A little bit.

Yeah. I definitely think so because I, you know, I won't cheat on my wife because I worry that I will ruin my family the way I feel like my father ruined our family. You know what I'm saying? I go to the gym because I worry about being fat and overweight and I eat right because I worry about how my skin's going to look because I know that I get skin discoloration from certain things

and I get acne from certain things. Like I worry, like that's, I think that's constructive worry. Like, because, but it's worried, but it's also makes you take action. Right. You know what I'm saying? I think as long as we're taking action to go along with that worry, I think we'll be fine. Like positive action, not like, I'm never leaving the house

because I'm worried people are going to judge me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And by the way, I got people, I got friends who have, crippling anxiety like yeah that way they got to take medication even think about leaving the house because their anxiety crippled them so much and they worry so much that they'll just be sitting in the crib like not doing anything just sitting there oh man that's got to be terrible I think about that because I thought oh everybody when before I actually had to worry about anything in the past year or so

when people said oh I have anxiety I was like oh okay and then you experience a couple weeks of like sleepless nights or like, you know, physical, not eating, whatever it is, you start to then go, oh, this is what like real anxiety feels like and it's no joke. So I have real compassion for people who've got to take medication to even think about leaving the house. Like, I don't have that. I can't imagine what that's like, but I can kind of think about what that must feel like. And I have sympathy, the utmost sympathy for that. Because imagine the things that you and I worry about, like, oh, what are people going to say online? And whatever. Like, forget about it. that's like all those people

could think about or it's like they think about that times 100 and they can't turn it off absolutely that's got to be the worst I think making that shift

think about what kind of action you take is it positive action then maybe it's maybe it's the good kind of worry if it's negative action if it's inhibiting you maybe it's not

maybe it's not constructive yeah that's what I said you just don't know what's constructive to worry about until you until you put a little worry into it yeah

you know what I'm saying until you actually think about how worry about this should I get. You know what I'm saying? On the scale of one to, I just got diagnosed with cancer. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, what, how much should you worry? You know what I'm saying? So it just depends on what the situation is, I guess. Yeah. Like, I'm going to, I suffer from parental paranoia. I'm going to worry about my kids. Yeah, I think that's normal. Yes.

I'm worried about worrying about my kids. I don't even have yet. I'm worried about, I got three daughters. I have 10-year-olders in school. three-year-old that's going to be starting school this year, a four-month-old that's going to be starting school in another four, four years. Like, yeah, I got worry. Like, why wouldn't I have worry?

You know, like, if I got a house full of sick people right now, my wife is sick, my four-month-old is sick, my three-old is sick. Yes, I worry about them. Like, why wouldn't I? Like, that's this, like, and I don't even know if that's constructive worry because there's nothing I can do about being sick. Like, literally there's nothing I can do other than, y'all going to the doctor, right? hey, you take your medicine, hey, let your mom sleep.

You know what I mean? Like, there's nothing I can do. So I don't know. Yeah, yeah, that's a tricky one. The parental thing is a tricky one because it's like, it's not constructive, but you probably can't turn it off. It's probably hardwired. And I'm not turning it off.

I refuse to turn it off. You know what I'm saying? It actually increases, you know, as they get old then, as you get old then. You're successful, dude, so do you ever get, we've all heard of fear of failure. Everybody, I think, has that. you ever had the fear of success? I first heard about this. I didn't think it could possibly be real. I think the only reason people have a fear of success is because the fair success runs parallel

with the fear of failure, meaning that a lot of us are motivated to be successful because we don't want to be failures. But then when you get it, you don't want to lose it. So when you get it and you don't want to lose it, then you start, you know. That's interesting. Right. So it's not really... You start feeling like you might fail. Right. So it's not really fear of that. of being successful, it's fear of being successful and having it all go away. I never thought about it like that. Yes.

That's definitely worse. Yeah. So for me, that's what it is. It's not necessarily the success factor that makes me afraid. It's the fear of not being successful anymore. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, that fear of not being successful anymore is what causes me to feel like, damn,

I don't want to fail. So it's not like I'm sitting around just constantly thinking about I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail. Because you can't be afraid to fail, right? Like, every time I got fired, I failed up, allegedly. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can't be afraid to fail.

Like, you can't be afraid to make mistakes. You can't be afraid to do some things that were wrong. You can't be afraid to fuck up. Like, that's just the way life is, right? So I can't walk around with a sense of fearing to fail, but I can have a sense of being successful and not wanting that to go away. Which is like a camouflage version of fearing to fail.

So you're like, oh, I don't fear failure, but then we do all this other stuff and it's like, what's going on? It's camouflage fear of failure in your fear of success. I had never thought about that. That's a really good point. And I feel like that's a sneaky-ass way to sit around and worry.

It's like locking the front door, but the back door is like wide open and you're like sitting there with the front door you got like your rifle out you're like nobody's getting nobody's getting through here meanwhile the back door is wide open you got raccoons coming in the bag

exactly that's exactly what it is huh charlemagne thank you man always thought provoking conversation my brother Jordan thank you man I'm sorry I yawned a couple times that's all right I take it all I've been up since 4 o'clock this morning has nothing to do with your line

of questioning at all great big thank you to Charlemagne his new book is titled shook one and of course we'll link to that in the show notes. If you want to know how I managed to book all these great people, manage my relationships using systems and tiny habits, I'm teaching you all that for free. In my course, six-minute networking, it replaces the level one class. That's over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. And I know you're going to do it later, right? Yeah, oh, I've got it on my list.

The problem with kicking the can down the road, you cannot make up for lost time when it comes to relationships and networking. The number one mistake I see people make is postponing this, not digging the well before they get thirsty. Once you need these relationships, you are too late. These drills take literally less than six minutes per day. This is the stuff I wish I knew a decade ago. So go check it out, Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. Speaking of building relationships, tell me your number one takeaway here from Charlemagne the God. I'm at Jordan Harbinger on Twitter and Instagram. There's a video of this interview on our YouTube at Jordan Harbinger.com slash YouTube. This show is produced in association with Podcast One.

and this episode was co-produced by Jason Shook 2 to Philippo and Jen Harbinger. Show notes and worksheets are by Robert Fogarty. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. Remember, we rise by lifting others. So the fee for this show is that you share it with friends when you find something useful, which should be in every episode. So please share the show with those you love and even those you don't. Lots more in the pipe.

Very excited for upcoming shows and guests. And in the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen. And we'll see you next time. This episode is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know podcast. Finding a new great podcast shouldn't be this hard, so let me save you some time. If you like the Jordan Harbinger show, you'll probably like Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. It's one of those shows that makes you smarter in a practical, useful way.

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