The Jordan Harbinger Show - 203: How to Be a Good Mentor | Feedback Friday

Episode Date: May 24, 2019

Knowing how to find a mentor is something we've covered in depth on this show, but what advice do we have for those of you who are answering the call and want to know how to be a good mentor? In this Feedback Friday, we'll try to give this excellent question the answer it deserves. And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/203. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Why has your spouse stopped calling and writing you from prison? Don't panic! Here are no less than eight possibilities. Should you send an unsolicited text to a professional in your field just because happenstance landed their number in your lap? You've been house hunting for six months, beaten in acceptance offers three times, and you're burning out. What's our advice for keeping your chin up? What kind of problems can arise when college-age friends decide to become roommates? Let us count the (potential) ways! You want to up your metaphor game from Candy Land to chess. Here's a strategy to expedite your victorious cry of "checkmate!" Your employer wants to start a podcast with you taking lead. How should you intelligently approach the compensation side of negotiation? Your significant other's mother is a paranoid narcissist who is trying to pull you apart. How can you loosen her grip on your beloved? Thanks to being a long-time listener, you know how to find a mentor. But how do you ensure you're a good mentor when people come seeking your help? Life Pro Tip: If you want to give your future child a unique or random name, consider making it their middle name. Recommendation of the Week: Last Breath Quick shout out to The World Wanderer! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [e-mail]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. I'm here with producer Jason DeFilippo. Here on the Jordan Harbinger show, we love having conversations with our fascinating guests. This week, we had Eric Schmidt, former CEO and executive chairman of Google, talking about how executives at billion-dollar companies operate at their best, as well as a foray into privacy, the open Internet, and how authoritarian regimes and terrorists might misuse technology. And it's a little scary coming from a guy who's at the, front line of this and can see he's basically like he probably has a better view than the president if you think about this jason in terms of cyber attacks i mean the guy running google right like he sees all of this stuff happening and he's probably he's also on the national security board for stuff like this because it's probably him and a few other folks who can see all this stuff so it's a little scary he sees everything yeah everything and i'm not talking i'm not talking just cyber security he sees everything Yes, he's got the Eye of Saran up there in that secret conference room where we did the interview.

If you're watching it on YouTube, that conference room was, it's literally a secret conference room. It's not like it's top secret, but it's not available to other employees at Google. It's not available to just go in there and chill. It's a totally private floor that basically when he runs board meetings and stuff, that's where they are. So that was kind of cool. And we also had Shane Snow talking about intellectual dishonesty and how to spot it when people use these weird little psychological tricks against us to try to prove their point. We see it a lot on television from pundits and politicians. This episode is a great primer

on cognitive self-defense. It's a term I've coined, and I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm going to pat myself on the back there. I think you really enjoy that episode. I also write every so often on the blog, the latest post is about how to be generous and, ugh, this word sucks, but abundant, even if you feel competitive. In other words, how to essentially force yourself into the mindset that helping others, making introductions, offering value, et cetera, is good for you. And it is, by the way, especially long-term. You do that even when you're actually at this moment

trying to make sure that you yourself have enough. And this can be a trap a lot of us fall into, especially in our careers. And we've got a fix for that. So this is a very important shift you have to make. It took me years to do it. I've got the hack. It's in that article at jordanharbinger.com slash articles.

So make sure you've had a look and a listen to all that we produced for you this week. Of course, our primary, mission is always to pass along experience and insight to you. So the real purpose of the show, in general, is to have conversations with you. And that's what we do today and every Friday here on Feedback Friday. You can reach us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. And we will sometimes, to be candid, get to your question and answer it on the air. As always, we've got some fun ones and some doozies. So I can't wait to dive in. Jason, what's the first thing out of the mailbag here?

Hi, guys. Why has my husband stopped calling and writing me from prison? Sincerely, all a quiet on the married front. So we had to redact some details here. That's why it's a one-line question, but there wasn't a whole lot we could not redact because it was all like, here's all this personal information that's going to be readily identifiable. But anyway, so I know you're not going to like this answer, but there's no way really to know for sure why. And I asked some folks about this who are in the incarceration game, so to speak, and there are a few possibilities that we can think of. They do vary in likelihood depending on where he's low. located, what level of custody he's in, his particular personality and affliction, the amount of money he had in his commissary account, et cetera. So the scariest one, of course, is that something happened on the inside, right? An assault or worse, and he's unable to call because the prison is locked down. Doesn't mean he's been killed or anything. It just means a prison could be on lockdown, meaning no wreck time. All inmates are confined to their cells all day. That actually happens quite a bit. When I visited a maximum security prison a couple of weeks ago,

they had just gotten off a two-week lockdown. Can you imagine that, Jason? You're already in prison, and now you can't even go outside for two weeks. That's crazy. Yeah, no library, no gym, no yard, nothing. Yeah, that would just be way too much. Yeah, it's basically one of the only punishments you can do.

So they do it when there's like a riot or when somebody gets stabbed. And I asked why they were on lockdown. The answer was somebody got killed. That'll do it. That'll do it. And the second reason is he could be on loss of privileges or maybe even in solitary, maybe at a run-in with a little disciplinary, you know, got in a fight,

or was just near it and got busted for just being nearer that stuff. That happens a lot in prison. You know, you're hanging out with somebody at a table. They get into a fight and they're just like, all right, everybody who's sitting there is in trouble now. It sucks because it's like school, but worse because you end up in solitary. Worst cafeteria lunch ever. Yeah, yeah, real bad. And three, he could be out of money in his phone account.

If you're just out of money, you often can't call out. You can call collect. but then he would try to do that theoretically. Four, maybe he's, and I hope this isn't the case, but maybe he's developed or resumed a drug addiction, and he could be out of money, he could have traded, and this happens all the time, traded his pens, stamps, envelopes, paper for drugs, that does happen quite a bit. He could also be just depressed, and he's in prison. You know, it's a miserable place to be.

It's horrible. And when you try to think of this, this one actually surprised me, Jason, when you try to think of things that you're going to write home about if you're depressed what it does and you may be all too aware of this it just makes you think about how miserable you are because you're trying to think of anything to write and all you can think of is how much you hate your life right now yeah so you don't want to go huh let me sit down and write a letter and then because it makes you think about all these things and you're just kind of like trying to get out of bed and get through the day yeah it exacerbates things yeah and you know someone's going to go how you doing and you're just going to have to

lie or go through this litany of how horrible everything is and so some people just opt out until they get over it. The other reason is could be, hey, if you've stopped writing him, maybe he's like, well, I want to see if she still cares. That's possible. Does it sound like that's what's going on here? Another one that could have happened, and you would know this better, he could have become affiliated with the gang.

And I know that a lot of this stuff, this is third-hand info from me, but what I've heard is that they can detach themselves from family if their family isn't also involved with the gang. so they kind of have to do that. It's not great, of course, because it means that there's going to be a rift between you guys, but also it might be what's keeping him safe in there. So it's not that you're never going to hear from him again.

It's just that maybe he's keeping certain things on the low. So I don't really know much more about that. He might also just be writing you in the mail is really slow for whatever reason. You know, there could be new mail and a property officer who decided he isn't like your husband. they could be extremely disorganized. There's no surprise if that happens. Prisons, especially private ones, can just not give an F about anything.

And that's all that we really got. The good news is that since you're his wife, you're actually legally entitled to know what's going on with him. So call the prison, bug the guards about it. They're going to put you on hold. They're going to pass you around. They might give you the run around. But if you're polite and you're persistent,

you'll get a hold of that one guard who decides, you know what? I'm going to just take a little bit of my lunch here. and dig through the files and find what we have on your husband. And if they don't have anything on him, that that means probably it's not on lockdown, probably he's not in solitary, et cetera. So you can kind of get a feel for what's going on there. Best of luck.

That's got to be just a miserable situation. And I really feel for you. So hopefully you'll hear from him soon. All right, next step. Hey, JJ and Jay. One of my friends met a writer of a major TV show and got his number. The tricky part is the writer was giving something away via Craigslist, so my friend had an insanely quick interaction with him.

He didn't even get his name. I'm a huge fan of this show and would love to contact the writer, but I've been trying to figure out the best text to send. On one hand, I know it's very invasive to send a text to someone's personal number without meeting them. On the other hand, it could turn out to be an amazing opportunity. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

Warmest regards, to text or not to text. Cool. There's no way to do this without seeming insane, right? No, you can't do it. Don't do it ever, ever. Right. I mean, like, I'm trying to think of any way in which somebody would have gotten my phone number, but not from me or from my wife. And it's not just freaking super shady and weird. Any interaction that you're going to have with this guy is going to creep him the hell out because it's like, okay, well, I mean, granted he might just, you know, deleted. He might get these things all the time when people who find this stuff. But the thing is, this is a guy on a major TV. show and you want to get into the business of being around people who are on major TV shows, this is the absolute worst way to do it because what can happen is, yeah, you make contact, he finds out who you are, gets your name, you're now on a list, you're blackballed.

Now you have to move home, live with your parents because you're never going to make it in Hollywood. That is probably a 50-50 shot of what's going to happen right there. I mean, you have a, I would say like it was a 0.000,0001% of that text going through and him being a great mood going, oh, hey, I'll answer this text. Who's this? I don't know. Oh, oh, you want to come on my TV show?

Great. Yeah, that's just not going to happen. You're more likely to win the lottery. That's a really good tip because I really think that, again, look, if you met producer Jason and we'd gone to college together, you still wouldn't give that person my phone. number. Right. Right. You'd be like email him. He answers his email. And I gave your phone number to a really close friend of mine's like husband. And you were like, hey, you know, FYI, I don't do that. And I was like, oh, it didn't even occur to me, but it still is like, oh yeah, I should have like, you know,

asked about that. I thought you guys had another arrangement, but it turned out to just be kind of like, not really the case. And so it just ends up creepy. And if it happened to me, I would never engage that person because you're rewarding that behavior. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, oh, he's going to be like, dang, bro, you got so much hustle. You got my phone number, and now you're in getting, no. No. No, this is like somebody's showing up in your kitchen without pants going, can I have a pancake?

Yeah, they're like outside. We were talking to Reid Hoffman. We have an episode coming up with Reid Hoffman, founder of LinkedIn, partner at Greylock. And he said that, I asked him good and bad ways to get a hold of him. And he's like, best way, warm introduction. worst way. He's like, there are people that wait in the Greylock Partners parking lot, and they just wait

for me to get out of my car, and they're like, read. And he's like, oh, my God. This guy is $2 billion. You think he wants to get a costed in a parking lot? You have no idea what's going to happen when someone comes up to you in a parking lot. Especially billionaires sometimes have security, which you know a lot about Jordan because you help train these guys.

You know, you don't want to go read. And then he goes, security. And then like seven ex-Massad agents come and just throw. you in a trunk and take you out to the desert and go, what do you want? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, like, think about this. Anybody who's well-known, and maybe not a Hollywood writer per se, but anybody who's really well-known has had way more scary interactions with people that are anonymous of this type,

not just via email and Twitter or whatever, but any interaction that happens in person that's unexpected and slightly inappropriate, 90% chance it's not going to be positive, right? that goes double for females. So if you're sending someone a cold text, it's just inappropriate. They're going to go, this person has no social skills and is desperate. I don't want any part of it.

You're not going to get an answer, but they're going to figure out who you are and be like, nope, and put you on their list of never getting into Warner Brothers studio a lot or whatever. Right, this is not how you do it. And I'll leave it with this. Gary Vaynerchuk, who have known for,

I don't know, like 13 years now or something crazy, I got a text from a friend of mine that said, hey, I just got a notification that Gary V had signed up for a beta of some app. And she was also in the beta of this app. And she goes, the problem with the beta is it shows everyone's phone numbers when they log in to the beta. Huge privacy hole.

So she ended up with Gary Vee's cell phone number. And she's like, what do I want to do? What do I do with this? Of course, I'd love to be in touch with Gary Vee. and I said, what you do is you say, hey, Gary, here's a screenshot, your phone number's visible on this app, I will never bug you again,

but I just thought you would want to know. And that's what she did. And now he's like, thank you, right? But he doesn't go, text me anytime. He's like, thank you. And he probably uninstalled the app right away and yelled at the people who created it. You should never abuse it.

And if you see a security hole like that, you should always, always try to help people people plug it up. Now you can't say anything because he didn't give you the number. He gave it to your friend. But honestly. Over Craigslist to get some crap out of his apartment. Yeah, it's just too unrelated. This is not a warm intro, you know. Yeah. It's an anti-intro. Yeah. It's, it's really, really, this could blow up in your face. Honestly, also people use Google Voice when you're on Craigslist, famous or not. Do not use your phone number. Yeah, Google Voice is a totally legit option to use for that because you can just get a number.

It's disconnected from you, and you can just get calls or text to it. And nobody knows who you are, and it doesn't give out your regular number. And then you can just delete the number when you're done. Exactly. Right. Or you can just keep it as your sort of number that you use for weird random stuff like this. There's also prepaid phone cards that you can get that are like $20 at gas stations and drugstores. Skype in numbers as well.

Yeah. You can do that. And you can recycle those when you're done. There's so many options. Just never give out your cell phone. So point well received, I think. Yeah, I think that that horse is well and truly dead. It is.

Look, I get that you want to reach out to him. What you can do is find out where these people sort of network and when they're at events and things like that, do not misuse this connection. It won't work. If you want to network with people, you have to do it through warm introductions. If you want to hack the process, otherwise do it through cold. If you want to find out people that he knows, great. But, yeah, this is not the way to do it. All right, next step.

Hi, Jordan, Jason, and Jen. My fantastic girlfriend and I are first-time buyers and have been looking for a property to purchase in the UK for going on six months now. We've been to almost 20 viewings and searching online daily. We've been beaten in acceptance offers three times now. It feels as though we can't catch a break. We're burning out and I believe we need to take a step back

to appreciate where we are now and take the focus off constantly looking for a property in order to recharge. What are your thoughts? And do you have any tips? All the best, burned out buyer. Buying a house is quite tough. I think everyone who's ever done it will tell you that.

I'm not sure about you, but where I live, the market is due for a decline any minute now. So I feel you. You can take a break. There are always properties on the market. That's what's important to remember. Those properties aren't going anywhere. Yes, there are housing shortages in some places,

but often that's due to the fact that everything is overpriced, not like there just aren't any, unless you live in Shanghai or something crazy like that, right, Moscow, I guess, or whatever. Take a break and enjoy the process of looking. The key here is not to get excited about any particular property, or not to get too excited about any particular property. Use your rationalization faculties against yourself. So when Jen and I were shopping for a house, we went to this community called Pacifica. It's just south of San Francisco, and it's like right on the water and the house overlooked Pacifica, the downtown area. We had crazy like 270 degree or whatever ocean views. It was just nuts. We were far from the ocean, so we had this huge elevated look,

and it was just awesome. And we put in an offer and then somebody paid all cash and paid like 200,000 above asking because that's what's happening in our market, because of all the Chinese money, especially and the tech money out here. So that was really disappointing. And then we were like, oh no, what are we going to do? And then we realized, oh, it's usually foggy here. We just went on a really nice day. Eh, it's cloudy here anyway. Eh, we didn't really like the basement.

Eh, really didn't have a nice driveway. Like, you just use all the negatives and you kind of go sour grapes. I was going to say, that's mighty sour grapesy right there. It is. I didn't want it anyway. Yeah, I didn't want it anyway, right? But normally that's bad, but it's good for you here because then you'll just go, screw it. Otherwise, you're going, but that house, you'll never get that house.

Don't worry. It's taken. unless you buy it again when it goes on the market again in 10 years, right? It's just not, there's no point. So if it's your dream home, build it somewhere else, right? Or keep an eye on it. But otherwise, you're going to find something else that you like as well, just as well. Also, new construction often has better pricing.

So find new developments in your area, if there are any. And then get in line for those places, the first day of open house at like 6 a.m. That's how we got the place we live in now. Jen's dad was in line for this house at 6 a.m. and they were doing first come first serve and we show up and he's like you like the house i was like yeah he's like we're ready we're going to buy this and then the problem was we weren't pre-approved for a mortgage and so we missed it that thankfully the person who got it right after us they bailed something happened i don't know whatever so we i would recommend getting pre-approved for a

mortgage right away have your deposit liquid right don't say hey look it's in my retirement account I got to transfer it. It's going to take, you know, three, four, five days. Most places are cool with that, but some places will be like, sorry, you've got to have the deposit within 48 hours. You know, or at least a deposit, maybe not the full thing. So make sure you've got a chunk of it so you can go, here's my money, put my money where my mouth is, take this place off the market. You've got to be able to cut a check literally right there in the showing. Like, don't show the next person who's here in 15 minutes.

I want this place. That's what you need to be able to do, especially in a market like New York or something. I remember, Jason, one time I was in New York, I wasn't buying, I was renting, but I said, hey, I need to go to the ATM and get the money for this place. And she goes, no problem, no problem. I went to the ATM and got the money. And when I came back, she didn't answer the door. And I called and called.

She finally answered it and was like, what? And I was like, I got the money. And she goes, sorry, I gave it to someone else. And I was like, are you kidding me? And she's like, yeah, somebody came in like 15 minutes after you left and just got it. I just couldn't believe it. Well, there are so many people that just say that they're going to do something when it comes to real estate and then just ghost, that it's one of those things where you have to have

cash in hand. Like, you know, shove a big wad of hundreds in your pocket so you can lay it down if you have to. If you're that serious, you have to have that because, I mean, so many people lie. They're like, oh, I'll call you tomorrow and we'll set something up. No, most people ghost. It was crazy, dude. It was absolutely nuts. That was a lesson for me, though, in the New York market, because I probably took like three hours, eight lunch. I was like, I'll be there in a bit. She's like, okay. And then somebody else is just, you know, and I didn't realize the speed at which that market moved at all. That was a 20-something Jordan folly there.

But I get it. Same with buying in many ways. Also, try to find off-market properties that are about to sell. Get to them before they list. So if you find out your friend's neighbor is selling, say, hey, look, I'm interested. What's the price? Cool. Let's do this.

They'll save on fees, agents, et cetera. And you can negotiate the price a little bit more easily. and that's always good, right? Of course, there's not like other people breathing down your neck. And that really can work, but you have to activate your network on this. You have to say, we're buying a house. If you see a house for sale and you know the owner, let us know, if you think it's a fit for us, here's our budget, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Don't tell them to look for for sale signs. It's too late. Tell them to be like on the lookout. Oh, your neighbor's thinking about selling? Cool. My friend's thinking about buying. You should see the house before you list it. So be prepared to move quickly.

And Jen says, look, maybe we can offer this guy some encouragement. Six months, not actually that long to be house hunting. I think we looked for over a year. And we had our hearts broken when a few of our offers were beaten, you know, the Pacifica thing. Looking back, though, it worked out even better for us because that house turned out to be overpaid and in an area that was annoying to get to. And is foggy like 98% of the time. We didn't realize that.

The housing market is also cooling off due to the economy slowing down. At least that's what we're noticing here in the state. So waiting might not be a bad idea either. And people always say, you don't make money when you sell. You make money when you buy. It's always better to buy nice and low if you can. Either way, take a break. Realize you're shopping for a huge purchase.

And you should be proud that you're about to take this step. Sometimes it takes a while, just like dating. When you view it like dating instead of like shopping, it becomes a process, if you're a healthy dater, it becomes a process of filtering instead of just getting rejected over and over. Right. If you're doing this right, the process can be a lot of use. easier on you emotionally. So I feel you, man, take a break. There's always going to be a house. It's always going to be properties. You know, you're not going to find somebody who doesn't want to

sell you a house. That's just not a thing. People are always trying to move. The market's always active. This is Feedback Friday. We'll be right back after this. When it's time to scale your business, it's time for Shopify. Get everything you need to grow the way you want. Like, all the way. Stack more sales with the the best converting checkout on the planet. Track your cha-chings from every channel, right in one spot, and turn real-time reporting into big-time opportunities. Take your business to a whole new level.

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head on over to jordan harbinger.com slash subscribe. Now let's hear some more of your questions here on feedback Friday. All right. Next up. Good day, Triple J. Recently on the GOG podcast, Deliveroo. Jason mentioned that you shouldn't be roommates with your friends. I was wondering if you could elaborate on that point. I'm in university and I'm planning to share a house with some friends next year, but nothing concrete yet, where all men and already live in university-sponsored accommodations like a dorm. If you could share what kind of problems arise due to this arrangement and any steps that could be taken to enable a smooth running household. Cheers, down under, dilemma. Here's my take on it. You're still in university. I think you're too young to have the requisite

diplomatic skills to make it last long term. There are a lot of things that you just don't know being so young. Even if you were going to be in the State Department as a negotiator for the UN coming out, other people are still the variables. And since you're all young, it means you're all just gross-ass animals with different levels of hygiene, personal space requirements, noise-level tolerance, scheduling tolerance, etc. And I've done it, and it can last for a while, but eventually you're going to run into the one guy that rubs you all the wrong, absolute way, and it's just going to fester and grow. And then there's just going to be this kind of seething hatred that builds over time. And since if you have a lease, it's going to be a problem. That's what I was talking about.

And this is when you're young and these are people that you've been friends with for a long time. It doesn't sound like these are people that you've been friends with a long time. They're people that you went to school with. So it might be a different type of arrangement. And since you are coming from a dorm, you might have a different level of tolerance. But that's what I'm talking about. I was mainly talking about. living with like, you know, childhood friends that are like, hey, let's move in and let's all get a place. We've been friends for 20 years. And now we can, you know, party all together. And that just never seems to work out. Yeah, there's, there's a lot to this. I've been friends with a bunch of

my college roommates. I, you know, I still am. But they're super responsible people. I was the weakest link in that house. You know, one of them was a doctor or is a doctor. He's, I think, still like specializing in more and more gastroenterology type stuff. Another one became an investment banker. Another one works in Washington, D.C., running these huge nonprofits as an entrepreneur. Then another guy, he lived with his girlfriend almost the entire time. He just sort of kept crap in the room. So it was a little bit easier to get along.

And even as adults, you know, I lived in the office back at the old company and we had all of these issues with the bathroom, with the kitchen. Y'all need to set concrete rules. You need to post them and follow them. I hate to say the Sheldon Cooper roommate agreement, but it's kind of like that, right? For example, do your dishes before you go to bed for the night. If you're watching a movie, cool, you know,

you want to make some food, you don't want to do the dishes, you want to watch the movie, your girlfriend's there, cool. Do them before you go to sleep in the morning. Leave the bathroom door unlocked so people can take a frickin' piss while you're in the shower. You know, if a guy has a girl sleepover, she can't just go in the bathroom for 45 minutes during rush hour and shower and do her hair, do her makeup. Like that's not allowed.

You have to be like, look, you've got to do your stuff in my room. That's the way it is. Oh, you got to shower here? Cool. You got to get up earlier than everyone else, right? You got to be really considerate. Get an opaque curtain or a door if you need to for the shower. And if someone decides they're not going to follow the rules, make sure you and the other

roommates are on the same page when you speak to that person. You don't have to gang up on them all at once, but you need to be a united front. So the one guy who's like, oh, I didn't have time to do the dishes because I was on a date, you know, that guy, he needs to know that if someone else has to do his dishes, he owes him 10 or 20 bucks. This way, if someone does his dishes and earns 10 bucks, maybe he's cool with that. And if it happens once, no big deal.

But after a while, you become the maid. That's fine if you're trying to earn some cash, but you better get paid. Otherwise, you're going to end up with the guy who's like, leaving his dishes, getting away with it, leaving him for a day, leaving him in the morning, really busy. Then you end up with my college roommate who cooked something, or whose girlfriend cooked something on Friday,

and now it's Thursday. And there's moldy, disgusting stuff, and no one's been able to use the sink for six days. I eventually had to say to his girlfriend, look, you can't leave the dishes because this guy's never going to do them. It's pathetic. But that's going to end up driving you guys apart.

I am not friends with that particular set of roommates because they were just man-children. And all of you are probably man-children in your early 20s. It's just how it is. And look, we did some of this stuff in college. I washed a lot of dishes. I didn't mind at all. I made hundreds of dollars.

You know, I had a roommate whose mom paid for everything. fine it worked out but other stuff it was like get the shit out of the freezer i got to use the freezer you have 800 chicken breasts in the freezer my worst one was uh bob fogerty our show notes man i lived with him and our our friend well ex friend dave his foible was he would go in to the refrigerator take a giant tablespoon eat a spoonful of mayonnaise and leave the mayonnaise laden spoon in the sink and by the end of the week there were like seven mayonnaise spoons and he would never washed them. It was the grossest thing ever. Not counting the fact that he would go just eat a spoonful of mayonnaise every day. But man, that gets old fast. That's, um, that's really gross.

Yep. Yeah. Fantastic guitarist, horrible with nutrition. No, that's really just absolutely disgusting. Really, really gross. Wow. Yeah. He is no longer in our inner circle. No, that's vile. Who does that? All right. Well, anyway, next up. Dear JJ and Jay, Jordan, you always seem to have an uncanny way of making insightful comparisons, aka metaphors, between two unrelated subjects or topics. How can I up my metaphor game? Was it a combination of your law training and improv classes that helped you? How did you get to this point in your level of skill? Signed, smiles only. This is a little tricky. I'm not actually sure here. Knowing how things relate to one another is a practice. So my advice to you would be to do it or try to do it with a lot of the things that you see in the moment.

So when you see a pot on a stove and you think about it heating up slowly and then boiling over and spilling everywhere, think about, okay, this is what happens when you get too much energy, putting too much energy into something. Or this is when you see too much of a good thing or when something happens too fast and you're not paying attention, this can happen, that kind of thing. Think about that and then sort of bank that. And then when someone says something like, man, I'm at work and I'm all enthusiastic and my manager told me everyone's annoyed at me, you can think, ah, this person's putting too much energy into something and they're boiling over and pissing everyone off. So try keeping things at a simmer by paying more attention to the energy you're putting into things at the office, that kind of thing. You know, that's maybe not the greatest example, but it's a workable one. So you form analogies by thinking about them all the time. And I do it right now in the moment, and it works most of the time, probably because I have a huge

catalog of these types of things from my own life and from books. Also, good writers do it a lot. And since I read a lot, I pick these up. And they're also in movies as well. You see scenes like there's water boiling on the stove, and as it heats up, you see the protagonist getting more and more angry. And then finally the crock pot or the pot or whatever explodes, and then Jason Bourne sticks a pen into someone's larynx, right? I just remember stuff like this, and I bring it into the show because I know that visuals and analogies to common things that everyday things are an easy way for you all to remember complex concepts and ideas that are presented on the show itself. So I'm always looking for that because otherwise someone will say some concept in psychology or cognitive

bias, and it's like, all right, well, I don't really understand what that is. And then you say, oh, it's when you think that the lights are turning off because you walk underneath them, but you don't notice the other times, the other 10,000 times that week that you walked under lights and they didn't turn off, confirmation bias. It's like, oh, everyone remembers that. Everyone knows somebody like that or has had that experience, but not everybody can sort of wrap their mind around an academic concept. So I work on these things a lot to educate people better, and you can easily do this just by looking for analogies every day, and then you have a huge catalog of those, and then when you need them, there. We'll be right back with more feedback Friday right after this.

listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers is what keeps us on the air and keeps us fed and clothed with a roof over our head. We love you for it. So to learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, visit jordanharbinger.com slash deals and make sure you check out our advertisers. We really appreciate it. Now back to the show for the conclusion of Feedback Friday. All right. Next step. Jordan, Jason, and Jen. Hello. As you and Jason talked about podcasts should be started as a passion and not for money. But what do I do in my company wants me to host a podcast for them. The company, a major brand in the music space, wants to work with me as a freelancer, hosting and helping secure guests. We are still finalizing

the show idea and they have said nothing about compensation. I have 10 plus years in the industry in a significant reel that includes podcasts, TV, and radio, so doing it for exposure isn't of interest to me. My questions are, how should I be paid per episode, per season, etc. What kind of ownership should I negotiate? And sponsors are being approached by the marketing department. How should I receive a portion? Thanks. Show me the podcast money. Oh, this will be fun one. Yeah, this is a job, not a passion project. So we can dispense the whole don't do the show unless you're trying to blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that whole thing doesn't apply here. This is work. Yeah, this is work. You 100% need to be paid and realize that there's a very good show, almost a certainty that the company will

own the show. They'll own the IP. They'll own the feed. If they don't have a budget and they won't pay you, you can still do it if you want, but you need to negotiate ownership of the IP itself. And I would get paid per episode. This way, because otherwise they could do seasons and they're like, all right, we want 52 episodes a season each year. And then at episode 49, they're like, oh, yeah, we don't have any resources for this and the producer quit and, you know, we don't have any guests lined up. We don't have any sponsors. Let's put it, let's put this on hold. And then you just never get paid. So I would invoice monthly and get paid net 30 at the worst. At the worst. At the worst. At the worst. Very, very worst. Yeah. You should probably get paid

net 14, honestly, because it's a two-week pay period. You should just get paid like you do as a freelancer. Yeah, you should get paid bimonthly. And look, they're going to want to own the IP, but if you can own it and control the RSS fee that serves the podcast even better. So you should have the login to the host. The host should be in your name. If you're a freelancer, you should pay the hosting bill, and you should bill the client for that. That way, it's your account. It's your podcast. It's not a work for hire, which means the company owns the work that you create.

Also, I would try, at least, to negotiate a percentage of the ad revenue. The company takes 100% or maybe 85% if they're paying an agency to get the ads. So you should get a percentage of that percentage, because you're going to be responsible for creating and promoting the entire. I highly doubt they're going to do much for you. They're going to say, yeah, we're going to send this out to all of our people, unless it's a huge company. You said it's a major brand in the music space, but companies are always, always, always surprised at how little people give a crap about their podcast.

So you can have shows that are sponsored by enormous companies. And then they'll put a little bit of promo behind it and they think, yeah, we just sent this out to 10 million people. It's going to be huge. They get 5,000, 30,000 subscribers and then nobody cares and everybody falls off after a while. That's just the nature of the podcast medium. It has to be really sticky. It doesn't matter who's promoting it. It's, it might be flash in the pan. I would ask for 50% of the ad revenue plus a certain amount of cash for each episode. They probably won't give you that,

but you never know. Alternately, don't worry about the ad revenue and just get paid more per episode. And bear in mind that ad revenue won't be squat if they mess up this project or they quit. So make sure you're getting paid per episode no matter what to cover your costs at least and then negotiate or settle for a smaller percentage of ad revenue. What I would also do is get paid per episode and make it nice and healthy. And then when they say, hey, can you promote the show? You say, sure, but that comes separately. You don't have to pay me up front, but I'll take a percentage of ad revenue because if I'm going to grow the show, you're going to get more ad revenue as a result and I should get a part of that. And then they might go, eh, nah. And then

they're responsible for promoting it. Because promoting a show is a huge pain. It is very difficult, especially if you're not well known in the space. So let the company take that over. They're probably not going to think that they need you for that. So wait until they start tripping and going, geez, who's going to take the reins on this? And then you say, I'll do it, but not for free. That's what I would do. Jason, do you have any input? Yeah, I mean, if they want him to be freelance, I'm just going to give him my structure for how I do shows, which is different from yours, because you hire me. actually. I work on shows on an hourly basis. I never work on a per episode basis because a per episode, it's such a variable that you have no way to tell if an episode is going to take you

five hours or 50 hours. So over the years, I've learned that just screw it, it's an hourly rate for production, editing, hosting, the whole nine yards. Now, after the first year, you can put together an average and figure out what that could be per episode. But when you're first starting out, you're going to spend an inordinate amount of time getting this show up. You're going to be talking about format. You're going to be talking about structure. And they want him to book guests as well. You know how long that takes, Jordan. That is a massive amount of time. So I would say stick to hourly, find a decent hourly rate for what you're comfortable with. And, you know, you guys can do a couple test shows, which I also always recommend, do three shows, throw them away. That'll give you a baseline

for what you can expect going forward. And when it comes to, you know, cut of the ad sales, that's fine. But the problem with that is if you are taking too much of the ad sales, if you negotiate too much of a cut, then they're going to see, okay, well, the agency takes this much, you take that much. We're not going to put that much into it because it's too much time on our end to manage this entire process. So they might just even scuttle the entire ad sales and just pay you out of their pocket and you don't get anything from ad sales. So I mean, my guarantee against my, you know, my nut for the month is I always just go hourly. I don't even take a percentage of a show, especially when it's a show with a corporation like this. It's going to be difficult to even, you know,

enforce those numbers because you're going to have to get those numbers from the people who are doing the work in the company. If this was a solo project with another solo podcaster, I would say take 50% of the show up front, period. You split the show down the middle. You're doing all the work. They show up. They record the show with you. You produce it. You edit it. You publish it and you promote it. That's it. You get 50%. They get 50% for being the talent. Done. But since this is a corporation, I would personally go hourly and make it a very nice hourly to, you know, just to buffer against all of the pain and suffering you're going to have with starting a podcast inside of a corporation because I'm going to tell you it's not going to be easy. Yeah, I agree. It sounds like a great opportunity,

but it sort of sounds like it comes down to get paid per episode so that when they eventually forget about this and nobody can get off their ass because the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing and nobody wants to do anything without permission, at least you got paid for the project that never saw the light of day. Exactly, because are you going to get paid per episode on publish or on delivery or on approval. Like, and after it's a, if it doesn't like make it through approvals, do you have to go back and re-edit things? I mean, there's so many variables when it comes to getting paid per episode. That's what scares me. I've tried per episode. And I did it for like, maybe four episodes for a couple clients. And I'm like, this is just not ROI positive. I ended up making

$4 an hour. And I'm like, this is just dumb. So stick to your base rate and make it, make it, and make it good and healthy because you are going to go above and beyond. I can just guarantee it. I mean, thousands of episodes under my belt, I'm just going to tell you that's how it's going to go. Oh, my gosh. That sounds,

yeah, ugh, there's a lot there. It could be a good opportunity, but chances are it's going to get sort of run through the ringer first. Yeah, it's going to be tough. Working for podcasts for a corporation is not fun.

Because they don't get it. So, yeah, get paid per episode and then worry about the rest later if there's even, even is a rest later. All right, next up. Hey, Triple J. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly nine months and publicly for three months now. She turned 18 a month ago and I'm almost 20. Ever since my girlfriend, let's call her Jay, told her mom about me. Her mom has been paranoid and quick to assume the worst. Her mom is very controlling and once pushed Jay up against the refrigerator by her neck and

said she doesn't want two bitches in the house, referring to Jay's older sister. Jay talked to a school counselor about the episode and when she did, child protective services got involved and talked with her parents. I think any mentally sound parent would take that as a wake-up call, but Jay's mom played the victim and now refers back to it as Jay's stunt. She doesn't believe she's ever the cause of our problems. Her mom doesn't like me. I messaged Jay one time explaining why I don't like going over to her house, being that her and I were so early in our relationship that I didn't want to be thrown into the family in case something happens between us. Her mom decided to take that out of context and said to Jay a while back when I invited her to church, why would you want to go to

church with him when he doesn't want to be thrown into our family? I wouldn't mind if her mom didn't like me if she didn't have so much of a grip on Jay. She's taken Jay's phone away multiple times for weeks and read through our texts accusing us of sneaking around and sending inappropriate messages. We can't text on Snapchat because her mom can see it and we can't call unless her mom and dad are in the room with her. Her dad has told Jay before that he doesn't like how her mom always complains, but that every time he tries to reason with her, she shuts him down because she's always right. I don't want to leave Jay as her and I don't have any problems in our relationship, but these circumstances make it hard to continue. I feel like I've done all that I can to gain

her mom's trust, but nothing works. Is there anything I can do to keep this relationship and connection with Jay, whether I have her mom's trust or not? Or do I walk away from this relationship and let her mom win? Either way, I know I'll need therapy after this, and I'm looking into better help with your discount code. sincerely, unjustly accused. This is a family issue, and I feel for you. Mom is having major issues in her life with everyone from the sound of it. It sounds like the father's just hen pecked and can't do much in his own house. Mom is chronically insecure, destroying relationships with both daughters from the sound of it.

Again, family problem, you can't solve the family dynamic that's been in that house for years. mom won't take responsibility for any kind of response she won't do anything she's just everyone everything's always someone else's fault she's always right the father just sounds useless and he's just given up she's 18 now i actually wonder if you guys are going to go to college or anything because she could consider moving in with friends and sharing a house don't don't move in with her yourself that is a recipe for disaster at age 18 or 20 she needs to figure this out with her family and you can help by being supportive, emotionally supportive, being there for her, but you're never going to win over Jay's mom. Because right now you're the scapegoat for everything going wrong between her and

Jay. Oh, my daughter doesn't like me. It's that boy. Oh, my daughter's going to leave the house. Oh, it's that boy. Oh, my daughter's growing up. Oh, she's probably having sex with that boy. That's what's going on in her head. She's nuts. Okay. She's delusional. There's something else going on here. Any other guy or friend of hers is going to have the same issue. Just sounds like a controlling abusive relationship, frankly. I would have Jay and you, if you want, document any abuse by Jay's mom, do it in a written form using a private app. You could put it in a Google app that you control and you could put it in the cloud so that her mom, well, it's always in the cloud if it's Google Doc, make it so her mom can't erase it. You might even just give someone

comment access. Either way, it doesn't matter. She can erase the whole document. It's still going have version history. And if she hits or chokes her daughter again, call the police. You got to call the police. And Jason, what about like secure messaging apps? If she's stealing the phone and reading the messages, shouldn't they maybe get signal, bury it in an app folder and then rarely use the iMessage or texting app? That way the mom won't know what to look for, right? Yeah, you can do that, but it's still going to be on the phone and she can force it out of her. What I would do is actually get a cheaper burner phone. You can get a smart burner phone, like go to somebody like Ting, where you can pay monthly for just a few bucks a month and get a cheap phone for like 50 bucks. And she can

have that phone for your communication. Don't use her main phone because her mom knows her main phone. Keep the other phone hidden and just talk on that. That's the way I would do it because you don't want to just bury an app on there. And then her mom just might go, you know, bug nutty when she sees it and grabs it. It's like, what's this? Then she Googles it and she says, oh, a secret messaging app. You know, that could that could really be a trigger for this, this psychosy. bat shit mom. So I would definitely not do that. I would get another phone and hide that phone. Yeah, good point. I mean, it'll be harder to communicate, but she could just stash it somewhere like at school or work and only use it then or, you know, keep it in a private place in her room.

I, I, I, I, because you're right. She's going to look over her daughter's shoulder while she's using it and go, hey, what app is that? And then she's going to crack your your girlfriend like a nut, right? Yeah. Yeah. Don't put it on the phone. that would be a bad thing but yeah i mean you can get a cheap cheap smartphone nowadays you know just you know something that's like two or three years out of date and just go there just you can really literally get a cheap android phone for like 50 bucks they can handle those private messaging apps and that's all you use it for that's it and make sure that they just are set for 24 hour delete so even if it was ever like you know brought up and the mom found it you can say no no

just holding this one for a friend, you know, and actually put in fake contact info for literally a friend. Use your friend's profile picture. So it's like, oh, no, this is Janice's phone. And it's got a picture of Janice on it. She forgot it. And I'm just, I'm holding it for her. Yeah, good point. Yeah. And then make sure it doesn't have like your name saved in it with a bunch of texts. Exactly. Yeah. Put a friend's photo on it. Say, I don't have the passcode. I can't open it. Don't use a fingerprint to open it up. Say, look, I don't have her number. I don't know. Look, it's picture on it. And then you have the passcode, you open it up, and then you have just your signal app or whatever, you know, app that you want to use that is self-deleting. And you just use

that. That way you've got at least some plausible deniability if the mom ever finds the phone and say, no, look, oh, she just forgot it. And I'm taking it back to her. That's it. Exactly. That gives you, that it's basically you have to throw it away after that because it's like, how many times is this girl going to forget her phone? Right. You know, with my daughter. But it is something to get around that that is not like, oh, just put the app in a folder because the mom can find that. Especially with if it's an iPhone, you can go to app usage now and see what it's like, oh, signals at the top now.

That's what she uses all the time. What's it? What's that? Let me look that up and figure that out. And then you're back to getting beat by the mom. Oh, you can't hide things from screen time. I don't believe you can. Oh, I wonder if that seems like a little bug.

Yeah. I mean, it's not there to, you know, be private about anything. It's to show what apps you use and how much time you use them. Yeah, true. Huh. Interesting. You know, it's weird because we're really ignoring the real problem, which is that she lives with a crazy mom who's controlling. Exactly.

So this is a temporary solution. And if you guys weren't over 18, I would never give you this advice because if you're a minor and this is happening, it's just straight up child abuse and police need to get involved. This is also abuse, but you're old enough to be like, you know what, F this. You're crazy. You're affecting our mouth. I'm an adult. This is bullshit. I'm out. Yeah. Yeah. So it's it sucks to hear that because I also understand where the mom's coming from. She's probably like, oh my gosh, my daughter, I'm going to lose her because her older sister and I don't get along. And now she's dating this guy. And that's why this, she's not spending as

much time with me. I better clamp down instead of being like, oh, I'm crazy and I need to relax. And I need to realize I can't control everyone in my life. Like your mom, her mom has clearly been through some weird stuff. Probably also was abused and put under a controlling situation. this is what she knows. So I've got a little sympathy there, but I also realize that, like, look, it's not your responsibility or your girlfriend's responsibility to get abused because somebody else was abused 25 years ago. Like, not your problem. Coming from a home with an abusive mother, you should have no sympathy for and you should just get the hell out. That's my two cents. Oh, yeah, that's, yeah, you're two cents. Yeah, I've been through,

yeah, been down this road, as we've talked about before on the show. Just get out. Yeah. All right, last but not least. Jordan and crew, I'm one of the most highly ranked civilians in law enforcement in my state. And lately when I've been having conversations with officers and other civilians in lower positions, they've either been asking me questions about how to advance their career, or I found myself spontaneously advising them or connecting them with people in my network. I know you're not a fan of the word mentor and questions related to mentoring. But most of the questions you get about mentoring are from listeners trying to find a mentor, not from listeners who have suddenly found themselves in the position of being a mentor. I wouldn't be in the position

I'm in without having had a lot of help along the way, and I want to pay it forward by helping others achieve their goals. What advice do you have for those of us who want to mentor others? How do I make sure I don't screw this up and or burn myself out? Thanks, newbie mentor. This is a legit question. First of all, see Jordan Harbinger.com slash articles, because we have an article there about mentorship and how to find one. You'll get some insight there. What you can do is set days and times that you're available for this sort of thing. Don't just have people calling and texting you 24-7 every weekend and weekday about their careers. Tell people you're available for a beer or whatever, every other Friday or something, unless it's urgent.

Keep those boundaries firm so that you stay sane. Otherwise, everybody's going to just be hitting you up all the time anytime. Oh, my boss called me into the office. What do you think it is? I'm going to get fired. You don't want to be it up. You don't want to deal with that. set goals with them and write them down.

This way people aren't just winging about how they're not where they want to be in their career, but they have goals and you know what those goals are. That's really important because then you can help them strategize on how to get those, achieve that, how to get there. They are ultimately responsible. Let them make their own decisions. Now, if someone refuses to follow your advice,

then they're not allowed to whine to you or ask how to get out of a jam, at least not more than once. You know, if somebody gets in a pinch, you can help them out. But if they just consistently don't take your advice and then like, so I didn't take your advice and I confronted my boss and now they're really mad and I'm on disciplinary. What should I do?

It's like, okay, one time they learn a lesson the next time you need to cut them off from the advice. I had a college roommate. It's a college roommate day here on Feedback Friday. I had a college roommate and he would always go, all right, I like this girl and, you know, I'm going to do this and this and this. and all of us other roommates would be like, do not do that. That is a terrible idea.

Don't just show up to this random party that you're not invited to because you know she's going to be there. Do not do that. And then he'd go, yeah, I'm going to go there and do that. Then he would come home and go, man, I went there and she's like, what are you doing here? And then I was like, I showed up with flowers for you at this party. And she's like, oh, that's weird. And now what do I do?

And it would happen every single time. He would do something dumb and we told him not to do every single time. and we just eventually went, hey, if you're not going to take our advice, you don't have to follow our advice, but you can't just blatantly go against what we say and then have us get you out of this jam because it's just getting tiresome. And so we had to cut him off. We just, it pissed him off, but it kept us all sane because he was always whining about stuff not working out and he never took our advice. But he always asked our opinion, never took our advice and then always ended up in a pinch. It was super freaking annoying. That is so annoying.

And it's funny, when my little brother was growing up and I was teaching him things about computers and giving him advice, I'm like, I'd sit him down and say, I'm going to explain this to you once. And get a notepad, take notes. And if you don't get it, ask me as many questions as you want while we're sitting here. But after this, you're not allowed to ask me this question again. And I did this maybe like starting when he was five years old. And ever since then, anytime he'd asked me a question, he would show up with a note pad. because the first couple times he didn't take notes and I would never answer his question again. Because then he needed the advice again.

And I'm just like, I already answered that question, dude. You're going to have to figure that one out on your own. And he got the hint that he had to be ready and prepared to take the advice when it came. So if this guy, you know, you just kept giving it to him over and over again. But if you said it the first time and said, hey, look, this is a one-time offer. I'm going to spend my time. I'm going to teach you how to do something that you asked me for. Make sure that you get all of the information you need.

I will spend as much time. I'll be completely patient with you. I want you to understand everything we're talking about. But after this point, you are never allowed to ask me this question again. Work like a charm. 27 years later, when he asked me a question, I tell him once, never bothers me again. It's great. Also, make introductions freely for their benefit, but only one at a time.

If they don't follow through on the introduction, they cannot ask for other introductions or favors. Because then they're just wasting people's time. They're making you look bad. This will screen out those people who are serious and those who are just whining to you or venting or like want the idea of a mentor but don't want to do any of the work. So one intro at a time. If they follow through and nothing happens, that's one thing. But if they just kind of go, yeah, I emailed them once and he never called me back, then it's like, well, okay, it's your job to pursue this. If they won't do it, they don't want to do the work.

Don't hold their hand anymore. I also introduce mentees to one another once they're trusted and they're actually doing it, not just the new guys. introduce them to one another, get them helping one another as well. This network will be really strong throughout their careers, and it'll do a lot of the work for you as they bring one another up in the ranks together. That way, you know, one guy might be able to be there for another guy and give him advice that you gave him before. So it sort of scales that way.

And remember, I've got this article about this, Jordan Harbinger.com slash articles. We've got that article there about mentorship, how to find one. You'll get some insight there as well. Life Pro Tip, if you want to give your future child a unique or random name, consider making it their middle name. Everyone has the option to share their middle name or not, and they can even go by it if they want to. And if it embarrasses them or they feel they're going to get picked on, no one ever has to know. And I know, Jason, you've got some experience with this.

Yeah, my old business partner gave his kid the middle name, Awesome. That's O-S-S-U-M. So it kind of looks like Possum, but it's pronounced awesome. And I also know people who I worked with who named their kids Jedi as the first name, which is a little much in my book. And my other friend, she just named her daughter Skywalker last name. So at least she can go by Sky, which is a pretty nice name, S-K-Y-E. You know, that's a very beautiful name for a girl. But Skywalker, when she busts out the middle name, she gets geek cred.

So I would say the latter is much better than just naming your kid Jedi. in my book. Yeah, that sounds about right. I would say that you're onto something there for sure. I think there is, yeah, there's something to be said for making the middle name, the experimental one, and then later they can be like, yeah, this is my real name. Isn't that cool? But in elementary school, they can just be Jane where it's normal and nobody's making

fun of them all the time. Exactly. Gives them a little bit of choice. Recommendation of the week, last breath on Netflix. Jason, this one's yours, eh? Yeah, I watched this last night. And I love diving stories. I'm a huge fan of diving stories because I tried to become a certified diver.

And I just don't have what it takes. I do not have the right stuff when it comes to getting in the water. And I love this show because it is a documentary about a diving accident in the North Sea on an oil field. And basically what it was was the ship goes catty wumpus. Like all three redundant systems failed at the same time while the bell was down. with guys on the floor and the ship just went walkabout. And it is the story of what happened after that. I'm not going to, you know, ruin anything for you.

I mean, it's called Last Breath on Netflix. Check it out. It is a nail biter. And it's an hour and a half long, but it is well worth the time. Is it a true story? Absolutely. It has, it actually has video from the seafloor when this whole thing was going on. They recreated some stuff that they had to, but there is actual video of the whole thing,

which is crazy. Yeah, that's like my, that's one of my nightmares is like drowning in an underwater situation, drowning in an underwater cave or something like that. Mine too. So you're going to, you know, just be forewarned. It is going to be a little stressful, but it is well worth the watch. Jeez. Yeah. Well, I'm, yeah, I don't even know if I can do that without just straight up nightmares. But, you know, it does sound interesting. Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week. Don't forget you can email us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com to get your questions answered on the We always keep you anonymous. We've got some live events coming up later in the year, I think, depending on how it goes with baby. We're doing corporate training now, military training now as well.

You can get info on that. If you email me, link to the show notes for this episode can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Shout out for the week here is to the world wanderer. He's traveled a bunch and that technique that I mentioned before of hiring a local guide from language schools, He decided to try it out in the Dominican Republic and ended up going all over the city, local vans, metro, the cable car to malls and other places where tourists just don't go and ask unlimited numbers of questions feel like you're not going to get mugged or taken advantage of. And says, the only thing I regret was not asking my guide to go with me to leverage local negotiating power. But luckily for me, I wasn't desperate to buy anything. That's another perk that I probably didn't mention.

They can negotiate for you because they know how much things should cause. and how to negotiate politely, and nobody has to know that it's something that you're going to get for yourself. So go back and check out the guests, Eric Schmidt and Shane Snow, if you haven't already. If you want to know how we manage to book all these great guests and manage relationships with them using systems, tiny habits of outreach and software, etc., check out our free six-minute networking course over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. Don't kick the can down the road.

You've got to dig the well before you're thirsty. I wish I knew this stuff 20 years ago. The drills are designed to take just a few minutes per day. You ignore these skills at your own peril. Jordan Harbinger.com slash course is where that is. And again, it's free. I'm on Instagram and Twitter at Jordan Harbinger. It's a great way to engage with the show.

Videos of our interviews are at Jordan Harbinger.com slash YouTube. Jason? My personal website is at jpd.m. You can check out my tech podcast, grumpy old geeks over at gog. Show or your podcast player of choice. And make sure the kids are not in the room because it is a bit salty. All right, this show is produced in association with podcast one. This episode was co-produced by Jen Harbinger, show notes by Robert Fogarty.

Keep sending in those questions to Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love and even those you don't. Lots more in the pipeline. Very excited for some of these upcoming guests. And in the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen. And we'll see you next time. This episode is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know podcast.

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