The Jordan Harbinger Show - 279: Dennis Quaid | Sharks, a Bear, and a Banjo

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Dennis Quaid has been a Hollywood leading man for decades, fronts a band called The Sharks, and now stars in a new scripted musical podcast called Bear and a Banjo. What We Discuss with Dennis Quaid: Whether or not getting rejected for a coveted job in Hollywood ever gets easier -- even when you've been getting cast for decades. Why Dennis considers fear his greatest motivator -- and what this indicates to him when he feels it upon being offered a role. The hardest place to get respect, the greatest things our kids teach us, and where dad jokes go to die. Listening versus improvising, and how Dennis brings his characters to life without strictly memorizing his lines before arriving on set. Accents, biographical misinformation, and how learning to play a real-life astronaut led to Dennis learning how to fly real-life planes. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/279 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! On Morning Brew's Business Casual, Kinsey Grant sits down with the biggest names in business to talk about the biggest stories in business. This week, they're tackling the streaming wars with none other than Matthew Ball. Subscribe to Business Casual here or wherever you listen to podcasts! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with producer Jason DeFilleboh. On the Jordan Harbinger show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most brilliant and interesting people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. I want to help you see the matrix when it comes to how these amazing people think and how they behave. We want you to become a better thinker as well. If you're new to the show, we've got episodes with CEOs, spies, athletes, authors, thinkers, performers, as well as, toolboxes for negotiation, public speaking, body language, persuasion, influence, etc. So if you're smart and you like to learn and improve, then you'll be at home right here with us. Today's episode was a lot of fun, none other than Dennis Quaid here in the studio today. We grew up with him basically. His career spans multiple generations and he's still at it.

We spend a fair bit of time discussing how Dennis accesses his emotions when acting, how he draws from his own life experience to become someone else. I also wanted to know how and when he stays in character, especially when he's playing someone dysfunctional, out of control, or abusive. This is a really cool look inside the mind, life, and process of one of the most well-known artists here in Hollywood. If you want to know how I managed to book all these amazing guests for the show, well, check out our course six-minute networking. It's a free course. It teaches you how to make relationships better in your personal and professional life. That's over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course.

And by the way, most of the guests here on the show, they actually subscribe to the course and the newsletter. So come join us, and you'll be in great company. All right, here's Dennis Quaid. Your dad's a blue-collar tradesman from Texas, right? He was like a... Yeah, he owned his own electrical company. He was a contractor.

It doesn't sound like the usual type of dad that's like, go to Hollywood and become an actor, like really supportive of that kind of thing. Got a little bit of that. My brother was, you know, three and a half years ahead of me. They came through at University of Houston where he was going to school and for the last picture show, the casting. It was like 73, 72, and got a part. The last picture show was a pretty amazing movie back then.

Ben Johnson was in it and Sybil Shepard and directed by Peter Bergdanovitch. And he did that. And then a year later, Bogdanovich called him out to Hollywood to do a small part in What's Up Doc, which is a Barbara Streis and Rhino, the old movie. And so he stayed. And when my dad finally saw my brother on camera, he said, well, that's my boy. Because he was a frustrated actor himself. He didn't really know how to do it.

Acting. Well, he didn't know how to go about really doing, like moving out to Hollywood, dating agent and all of us that stuff. You know, he thought you just got discovered. I think a lot of people think that. I think they do. You know, I really do think they do. And then for me, my brother was like a really good example for me.

I didn't know at the time if I wanted to be an actor. That was back during the time where I wanted to be a veterinarian or a forest ranger. Forest ranger. You'd be fighting fires right now. Yes, I would. I'm evacuated from my house right now. Are you really? I saw the smoke when I flew in this morning.

Yeah. And I was not. What did you fly in from? San Jose? Yeah. Yeah. And our flight originally was canceled and I was like, you got to give me to L.A. I got Dennis Quaid coming here.

I can't stand him up for this bullshit fire. Yeah, I'm a refugee, I guess you'd call me, right? A vagabond and a vacuee. In fact, Billy Bob and Thornton and I are at the same hotel. I was wondering maybe, you know, you came here originally, slept on your brother's couch, maybe you just back to the same couch. No, but it's really amazing. I was taking this hotel that's off sunset, and the room I'm staying in occupies the very same space

of the first apartment that I lived in here in L.A. Really? Yes. On Al Paloma. I don't know. That's crazy. Yeah. Are you happy about...

You think that's a sign of something? I'm not one of those... I don't like believe in that stuff, really. You don't believe in coinkidinks? Coincidences exist for sure. You don't think it goes beyond that? Nah. You sure you're not looking deep enough?

Maybe, but maybe you chose that place because of that reason, subconsciously. Hmm. That does knock the odds down a little bit. You're right, because I'm familiar with that place. Like maybe you went, you know, I know this neighborhood. I'll just, is there a hotel there?

Oh, yeah, look at this one. Yeah. How about that? I'm at the same point? Oh, okay. Yeah, like your subconscious brain saw it coming a mile away. All right, I'll let that one go then. So, all right.

So you started bugging agents for interviews, getting rejected everywhere when you first got out here. Well, I came out here. I got my 8 by 10s done, and I sit out that in a kind of hyperbolic, hyperbole of a resume to every age in town. A bullshit. I had, yes, because I had done nothing except, you know, college drama. And I got turned down by everybody. So then I started looking in Variety and Hollywood Reporter in the back.

They would have this section called Films in the Future. And it would list who the casting director was, who the director was, and the name of the film. And so I started calling casting director's offices just to try to get an interview in general. Oh, man. And so, yeah, I would call them up. and nine out of ten would say no, but one would say yes. And the first couple I went in and had an interview for nothing except just to have an interview. And I looked at my shoes.

The whole time? Well, the first couple of them, because I didn't know what to say or what to do, but I learned how to do interviews that way. Step one, don't look at your shit. Like, what charisma this man has? You've got to kind of figure it out. Why didn't you give up? A lot of people who think give up pretty quickly in this town once they figure out how hard it is to make it? I don't know. I guess I had a lot of ambition and I had a real purpose that I was never going to work as anything else but an actor. I'd been out here a couple of summers before visiting my brother and, you know, I parked cars over on Santa Monica Boulevard.

And this time I was just going to be an actor. So it was about nine months. And when one of those casting directors who originally turned me down, Gino Havens, I met with. with him and he called an agent for me who had turned me down. Sure. But by his recommendation, I got an agent and three months later I got a job. That's crap. Wow. You must have been jumping up and down on Randy's couch after that. Yeah, I was off Randy's couch by that time.

He didn't put up with that for about a couple of months. But yes, I was. And then I got a job about a year later after that and then another job. And then I got breaking away. The things really changed. Yeah, that was kind of the breakout hit. And I know you've said the second chance as the third and the fourth are what you need

to have success as an actor. You've got to have a large capacity for rejection. Yes. While it still feels as bad today as it always did, I'm able to let it go. Yes, it does. It still feels just as bad. Oh, yes.

Dang. Yes, of course. Doesn't it to you? Yeah. I just figured some point in the future. Hey, we're out of a carrot cake. We don't have any more. Yeah.

And you really wanted it. Doesn't that make you feel bad? It does. I take that personally. Yeah. But I'm learning to let that go. I just figured it happened. easier over time. Yeah. Yes, it does? Or never? No. No. Shit. No. Otherwise, I'd be retired. I suppose. That's

true, right. You know, yeah. You still got to have fire in your belly. How do you feel about having fire in your belly now versus like 20, 30 years ago? Oh, it's so much more fun. Now? I've got to a place of my career where I'm not trying to get anywhere. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm already there. I already missed it. One of the two. And I'm just having a fun time doing roles, the different types of roles and, you know, music is really starting to blossom in my life as well. If fear goes up my spine when I'm offered something, that means I should probably do it. Oh, yeah, just kind of that's the sign. To get yourself out of, you know, I know so many actors that spend their entire careers with the same haircut.

Yeah. Think about it. That's kind of scary. The same haircut basically meaning you're doing the same thing over and over. It works for a select few action heroes. Yes, it does really work really well for a select few because that's who you want to see. I just wasn't that guy. Yeah.

Because I had bad hair days. Yeah. Those guys are always like action heroes, right? It's like Schwarzenegger or Sloan or something. Or comedians. Comedians, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. They stay relevant the whole time.

That's what's scary about comedy. Staying relevant, I guess, is really kind of the main thing. Yeah. Throughout a career, isn't it? I think so. Yeah, I have some questions about that, obviously, as well, because I'm like, is there any time that you're thinking, oh, crap, what if I'm not relevant anymore? Or, like, what if I'm losing relevance?

I know you said you. I felt that way. Yeah? I felt, yes. In the 90s, I know you said, yeah. Val. Yes, 90s, about five, six years ago, I felt that way. I think it's that if you're in the arts or even just, I think growing as a person in the many different

stages of your life, you need to change yourself. About every seven years, what they call a seven-year itch, I think. I have heard that. This is the only way to kind of grow at something. Do you agree? I mean, I don't know about the seven-year thing. For me, I feel like it's been more quick than that, but that's because I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do. Yeah, but people hate change right off the bat.

I do. When somebody comes in and tells me they're going to change this thing that fits right into my routine really well, I'm going to be dragged, kicking and screaming into it. But it's a good thing. It's like Shiva, you know, who burns down to the destroyer so something new can come along. If you're in a career valley in the 90s, right, are you at that point thinking, oh, crap, I'm going to be irrelevant? Or are you like, crap, I'm going to die broke? Or is it a little bit of both? I was thinking, I better get my ass out there and hustle.

So that's what I did. Yeah. Is it motivation from fear or is it motivation from? Fear, yeah. Fear is a great motivation. I agree with that. Fantastic motivator. Yeah.

I'm the best one we have. I think you're probably right, at least for someone like me, it's like that fire burning behind me, there's a little bit of fire, you know, internal, like driven ambition, like you said, but some of it is just it's going to catch you. Yeah, and your fear doesn't have to be based on anything that's logical. No. Or even really real as long as you feel it. Yeah.

Yeah. And it doesn't just over consume you in some way. Yeah, you got to learn how to control it. How do you control it then? I mean, or you just like of the outcome. You let go. Like right before you go on stage, I get, you know, stage fright or jitters or whatever. Do you really?

Oh, yeah, yeah, especially when I'm doing something I knew. So just right before you go on stage, I just take that fear and put it right down because it really makes you focus. take a breath, maybe a prayer, and just let go and step out. You've done like a hundred, literally like a hundred movie roles, right? And you still feel jetters when like, is it the lights, the cameras? What is it? I don't know so much about that. Like the first day I might, you know, getting to learn the crew.

And it takes me about three or four days to really feel like I fit in with the crew and the character really started to take shame from what I thought it was to the actual reality of where the location was, who are the other people and things like that. You ever get intimidated working with someone else? Like, oh, man, they're really good. I hope they think I'm good, too. Do you have that sort of judgment voice in your head? Yeah.

Oh, sure. In music and in acting. More so in music, really, because I was more focused on acting. That was the thing that really paid the bills. Yeah. So this music being your second act, it's like, am I the real deal, or am I just one of those guys who's, like, hacking it and everyone's humoring me? Like, I worry about things like that.

Yeah. But it's amazing. how the very best people are the easiest people to work with, really. Arts or are. They are the easiest people to work with. Acting is reacting. If they're so good, if you just let go and react, it just winds up being easy.

That's something I think non-actors like me don't really kind of fully comprehend. For me, it just seems kind of terrifying to work with anybody who's really good at something because I can't turn that voice off or I haven't been able to turn that voice off. It's like, better pull your weight, man. Yeah, well, the voice is all. always going on your head, right? Yeah, you have to tell it to shut up. Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. The only time it turns off is like maybe right now. But that's because if I have it going now, I'm screwed. Like you were intimidated about doing this interview with me and now you're getting kind of used

to it. Yeah, I mean, on the plane, I was like, don't blow it. Is there anything I can do about that? No, no, no. It's before literally like any interview, too. It could be like a scientist. Unless I really don't, it's a good sign. Yeah, I really get, yeah, what I talk to really substantial people. Yeah. Like, you know, politicians who I admire or there's not many to admire these, by the way. Which are that. Or great figures that I grew up, you meet them. And, yeah, I feel small.

Yeah, I think that's like a universal feeling that everyone probably has, especially any kind of creative personality who always will have that. Yeah. I've heard you say you think mythically for your characters. You create a backstory and everything like that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you still do this?

Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Are you writing it down? Is it all in your head? I used to. I used to fill up notebooks. But in acting, you're always playing yourself no matter what.

I mean, you can lose yourself supposedly in a character and all that, but you're still you doing that. For instance, like when you see the godfather, you don't see the godfather. You see Marlon Brando. Yeah. No, it's Marlon Brando. And he'll always be Marlon Brando in every movie. And the only thing it makes a difference is because it's Marlon Brando playing that part.

If you put Jack Nicholson in, it would be very different because it would be Jack Nicholson. Sure. Yeah. Losing yourself in a part is something that are not actors for sure don't understand. I mean, when I see Joaquin Phoenix and Joker, I'm like, is that what's happening there? Because he's so good, but he's also very strange interviews. Maybe a little bit. Yeah.

That's why they chose him. I think so, yeah. Yeah, that's why I'm not playing the Joker. No, it would be. Because I don't really give that off. No, it would be kind of. You're more of a Bruce Wayne than a Joker. I guess you're right, as long as I'm not Robin.

But it's always like a piece of your person now. You know what I mean? Yeah, intellectually I do. Me acting will probably never, I mean, even now, basically just who I am, even at home. I just have better questions. And fewer dad jokes. Fewer dad jokes. You sure about that?

No. No, I am not. Same here. Yeah. Yeah, I use my best material on my 11-year-olds. and I just get the, you know, stare back, like, waiting for the punchline. Do you think internally they're laughing and they just don't want to give you the satisfaction? No.

No, no, they're really, they can't help but be honest about. Damn, I was kind of hoping, like, they secretly think I'm really funny. They just don't want to give me the satisfaction of laughing. Yeah. Keep lying yourself. The hardest place to get respect is at home. We all know that, right? Yeah.

You've got kids. I do, but he's only three months old, but I have, like, cousins. Oh, welcome to the club. Thank you. Fantastic. He's three months old. He doesn't do much. He grabs and.

Yeah, cries. The rest of your life is over. I'm fine with it. It's all about him. That's a wonderful thing about it, isn't it? Yeah. I think it's a great thing that kids teach is that you take the attention off of yourself, which we're all prone to do.

Yeah. And you put it on someone else. It's nice because I have, I have like a really good reason to get rid of all this narcissistic bullshit of like my, I've got to have this many on Instagram and worry about it. It's like, look, focus on. this stuff, this is important, and then that relationship with him is the most important. Right. And with my wife. And with your wife. All this like that. Actually, relationship with the wife comes first, I think. I think you're right about that. Because if mom ain't happy, nobody's

happy. Plus, nobody takes care of mom, right? If you're both taking care of the kid, then yeah, she's kind of neglected, and that's the end of that. That's right. Nobody wants that. I've heard that when you're on screen, you air on the side of doing too much, and the director pulls you back in. Yeah. So what does that really mean? That means like, you know, get out there and go over the top. Like overacting, kind of? Kind of, yeah. That's what it'll come out is like overacting.

Maybe down on the stage, but on film. And so I like to go out there and really just do something over the top. I don't mind being bad. They are all kinds of film. And if I'm working with the right director, of course, you know, they're going to protect me if I trust them. Yeah. The director is the one who's watching, you know, he's the one that telling the story. So he'll just bring him back in.

So I'll do maybe one or less and one in the middle, and I'm ready. I'm fine. You're listening to the Jordan Harbinger show with our guest, Dennis Quaid. We'll be right back. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. And to learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard from our amazing sponsors, visit Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals.

Don't forget, we have a worksheet for today's episode so you can make sure you solidify your understanding of the key takeaways from Dennis Quaid. That link is in the show notes at Jordan Harbinger.com slash podcast. If you'd like some tips on how to subscribe to the show, just go to Jordan Harbinger.com slash subscribe. Subscribing to the show is absolutely free. It just means that you get all of the latest episodes downloaded automatically to your podcast player so you don't miss a single thing. And now back to our show with Dennis Quaid. So you think you became a better actor when you had kids because you could let go of some of that other stuff that we were talking about before?

I don't know. I feel like I'm becoming a better interviewer just because I have more shit to talk about. But that's pretty much it. Yeah. There's more to relate to. That's not just my own stuff. and that's more interesting for other people, I think. Something we all share.

And certainly, you know, about, I saw Al Pacino. He's played a couple of dads. This was back in the 70s. And I didn't really believe them as a dad. He doesn't have kids, right? He may now, but back then he did not have kids. And there's something about it. It's like you really got to have that experience to kind of have that feel, I think.

Yeah, that makes sense. You had kids in the parent trap, right? I mean, not the movie, but before that? Jack was, I think, four. or five years old. Right. Because I was going to say, you're a believable dad in that movie.

Yes. I don't know. In fact, I was the dad for quite a bit. Yeah, that makes more sense. That makes more sense. Because otherwise, you're right, there's something that's not... Played a lot of dads,

played a few coaches. I could see that, too. The, like, coach seeking redemption kind of thing, maybe a little. Coach's second chances. Yeah. Coach seeking redemption. Which is a great story.

Well, you've said that once the cameras are on you, it can read your mind. You don't actually have to act. That sounds crazy. cryptic to non-actors. Like, what does that mean? Is that sort of go back to what you mean by, a, you're playing yourself, it just sort of comes out? I don't learn the lines. I mean, I know the script. I've read the script maybe three or four times. I really thought about it, but going onto the set that day, I really don't know the lines. Because in film, you're going to shoot,

what, two, three page scene, right? So I listen to the other person, what they're saying, and that kind of tells me where they're going, what I'm going to say. It makes you a better a listener. So you're kind of improvising that? No, I'm just sitting there, just trying to be in the frame and just be paying attention to what's going on and knowing the characters. See, I know the character. It's about listening. And then I'm lucky I'm able to, I've always been like that, I've been able to memorize things pretty quickly. You don't memorize the lines before you go in? Or did I misunderstand? No, I don't. So you just do. I read the scene. It may read it, but I really don't really have a. Wow. That's incredible. How much?

much of acting is improvised like that versus like well it's not improvising it's just listening yeah after about two or three rehearsals of going through it you're blocking and stuff like that you're listening what they say then you react because acting is reacting so somebody has to start though right so somebody they're like

yeah you have your starting point and you got the script supervisor over there and they're like here's Dennis for sure didn't learn any the line what do you think the Niro like you know and those like hey you're talking to me you're talking to me you're talking to me you must be talking to me because he's just vamping, I think, because he didn't know the lines.

And like, I just keep it. It doesn't a lot until it comes up. Yeah, that is kind of funny. I feel like you can only get away with that when you've hit a certain statute, though. Otherwise, you're just that guy who, like, never marries to learn the free of mind. Yeah. Yeah. So you have that.

To go out there and know the entire script before I got there with me because I wanted to be asked back. Maybe that's why it's more fun now because you show up and you go, they're not going to fire me. I can listen really well. I don't know about that. You don't know about that. I don't know about that.

Maybe it's good not to be it. Yeah. You really can't be thinking that, I'm above all this. Yeah. We've seen how that works out with other people, too. Yeah. Just try being two hours late four times out of a row. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that somebody will draw the line there. Yeah, they're going to take humber to that. You use a lot of different accents in many of your films. I'm curious how you learn and practice those. My brother and I grew up doing impersonations like Ed Sullivan and John Wayne and, you know, everybody that was around us. So I think that's the whole voice thing. It's been able to travel so much in my life that I pick up wherever I go.

I pick up on accents badly even. You know, like in India, I will be talking a little bit, you know. And it's something I kind of can't help a little bit. Yeah, I just pick up on other people's. I've done that before and had friends go, I think you're making, that was weird, you're making fun of the cab driver. I'm like, I'm not making fun of them. And like, you're talking like the cab driver who's from Simola or something. So it makes no sense.

It's not like an Irish accent or anything. It just creeps in subconsciously. Yeah, I'm not trying to make fun of anybody or anything like that. I guess subconsciously, I'm just fascinated by voices. Are you the guy that hears one on TV and then spends the rest of the week annoying everybody in the house? I prepare it secret. So like you're in the shower going,

One more, Jimmy. One more, Jimmy. He's a man, one more. I can't get her to cool, captain. That one's awesome. That's definitely good. There's a reason you get paid the big bucks for these, and I don't. That's for sure.

I heard you studied Mandarin, too. There's no way you can do that. Actually, I don't know how that creeped into my bio. It's in Wikipedia, yeah. That was, like, creeped into my bio, like, something like 35 years ago, and it stayed there. So it's just not true. I've even had attempts to remove it, please. I don't speak Mandarin.

I've never attempted to, but it's still there. God. Yeah, it's in your IMDV. Studied Mandarin at, like, university or high school maybe. Yeah, like Jim Morrison saying his parents were dead. You know. It just never goes away. Well, it's just so big it sticks and they print the legend.

That's true. I know you like to learn everything there is about the person you're playing. You kind of mentioned that earlier. What's the process later? What resources are you using to do that? What was it like before Google, for example? You can't just be like, tell me everything about Wyatt Earp. Right.

You had to do it manually. I actually had to use it like a telephone and got a telephone book and, you know, and track people down. I guess the first time that really happened to me was Gordo Cooper. in the right stuff. It was by first, like, real person. Turned out, he lived three miles from me in L.A. So, wow.

Yeah. He just looked him up in there. He was one of the Mercury 7 astronauts. The last person actually to fly alone in space from lift off to a splashdown. And he was up there three days. And what a great guy. It was my hero when I was a kid. And I went over and met him and just, you know, watch the way he walked, you know, kind of get a

general idea about how he is in life, you know, how we feel basically inside ourselves. If we're basically confident or basically this or basically happy or basically whatever, then I try to capture the spirit of a person. I mean, you also have this script that you're doing, which is not all factual. Yeah, somewhat fictional. That would be way too much. Because, I mean, even my life is not all factual. Apparently not. You don't even know Mandarin. Who am I even talking to you right now? So I just try to capture the spirit of that person. And I think a little bit about what if somebody did my story. Yeah.

There's a certain respect that goes with that. I try to do the character from their point of view because that's what we're doing right here, isn't it? Yeah. You and me. That's a good point, right? Because you don't want to do it from, there's no reason to do it from anyone else's perspective. No, otherwise you're editorializing on him. Yeah, which could be kind of offensive.

I mean, some people might think it's cool because you're playing them up, but it's also inaccurate, which is, like, less useful. Yeah, that makes sense. Aside from the script, are you looking for other resources? Aside from the script and the person, like, if I'm interviewing an author here on the show, I read the book, talk to their friends if I can, watch them talk about their work with other people, because you get a different angle that's the source, right? Right.

Yeah, a little bit of the mysteries. The curtain is. Yeah. Well, I went to see Gordo, and then because of that, I learned to fly. He gave me an instructor to call over at Van Nuys Airport, and went over there, and it was Budwallin and Budwallin at that time in the 80s. was 74 years old. I think it was about three years younger than aviation itself.

So I was afraid to fly, but I learned to fly, which helped me with a radio voice, which is what all those guys had on that radio. The talking into the... 454 Delta Quebec. That's awesome. Landing with Charlie.

You built that from flying your own plane. Well, yeah. Well, Bud's plane at the time. Well, he was an instructor. You had your own plane, though, did you not? Or you still do? Yes, I had made it all the way. I kept going.

I made it up to jets flying citation jets. My friend had one of those, and he goes, the only thing I regret more than selling that jet for the price I sold is buying that jet for the price that I paid for. I was very lucky that they're so darn convenient. Yeah, I'm sure. But they just suck every dollar you have. And the most expensive part of flying is when the plane is in the hangar. Oh, yeah.

Because it's not being used. So your price per hour goes way up. Oh, man, I didn't even think about that. Because you're still paying insurance. Sure. Well, this is fascinating subject matter. Well, I mean, I think it's interesting. I'm going to start to sell you some insurance for the plan that I'll have.

It's going to be surprisingly painless. Are there real people in the stories you're performing on set with you? Like, do you have Gordo stand there and go, eh, it's not really what I did, or at least just watching you do it? Gordo never came to set, but Jerry Lee did. He was there every day over my shoulder saying, you're getting it wrong, time? Oh, that'd be an, yeah. But it was also one of my piano teachers. Really?

Yeah. You know, he would slow it down and show me licks. And gosh, that was an incredible time. I bet, yeah. Does that affect the performance? I mean, obviously, this is a dumb question. Of course, it affects a performance. If he's saying you're getting it wrong, son, over your shoulder,

I'd feel self-conscious even if they weren't saying anything. Oh, for sure, it did. There was a little bit of a schooly bully at him. I've heard that. You hear that. Yeah, and also, he's a perfectionist. He really wanted it to be right. I don't blame it.

So I didn't play piano a year before I got that. I was lucky. for one thing I was on cocaine back in those days. So I sat at the piano for 12 hours a day. You get really good at the piano, yeah. Yeah. So just a piano, then... Yeah, in the end, he and I wound up doing two duets.

Was he doing cocaine with you on the piano? No, he didn't do cocaine. No? No, that surprises me sometime. You don't know what he did. I don't know what he did. Gotcha. I'm not going to speak for him.

Yeah, I don't blame you. You know what I mean? Yeah. He had a stroke about nine months ago. Oh, I didn't know that. That's less. He's recovering. and I think he's going to come back.

He's 87 years old. God, that's some of these guys, like, they just last forever. There's that joke with Keith Richards where, like, Adam and Eve are there with God, and it's like, who's that? Yeah, he was here when I got here. Yeah, everybody thought that Jerry be the first to go, Keith, too. We're probably going to outlast everybody.

Yeah, it's unbelievable. Do you ever bring your work home with you? I mean, it seems like... I used to. Yeah? I don't anymore. That's how you wind up in rehab and stuff like that. Or I have to drop it.

I used to live the role and stuff. like that all, just about all the time. It's just too much. I found that I could actually be better if I would just like drop it like a hot potato, even in between takes. Not even think about it in between takes. Just come back to it.

You just come back with a clear head that way. What tools do you use to get into character quickly then if you're dropping in and out of it, even between takes? Nothing. Nothing. You just try to be there, that's all. You just try to be there. So when it's rolling, you're there,

when it's not rolling, you're back to yourself because you're present. you're not thinking about the... You're focused and you're... Just be there in the frame. That's why they hire you. Yeah, that's true. Well, that's why they hire you.

Yeah, they're not going to hire me for that. Well, they would hire you for a specific type. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. If you had no lines or anything, you look like this and we're going to have... She's going to come up and she's going to proposition you and you know what I mean? And you react like you. Right.

Yeah. Maybe you'll turn red, you know. Sounds right. Whatever. Yeah, you got to be nailed it on. But that's why they hired you. Because you naturally, although you may not be that way, but on the outside, people have a tendency to type people. That's for sure, true, yeah.

I told my wife today, she goes, why don't you wear that worn shirt? And I was like, it looks like it, those are like dad clothes. She goes, that's fine. He has kids. That's what she said. I was like, okay. And then you show up in like this cool leather jacket. I'm like, fuck, I knew it.

I knew it. I should have worn something cool. Like, yeah, I had these pair of merils that I wore for like 12 years during my dad's years. I thought they were pretty cool until I found that they weren't. Yeah. You find out the hard way. Like, hey, Dad, we threw away your shoes because we're sick of looking at him. Oh, man.

Dang it. When you're playing someone... I'm just going to dress like Seinfeld. Yeah, that worked for him. When you're playing someone with serious emotional issues, like the abusive father in that film I can only imagine, you don't stay in character all day. How can you have to be? For sure not.

In fact, I like to keep a distance in between takes, just complete emotional distance. Same time being very careful, especially we had a kid in it who was 12. And so wouldn't be very, very careful about, you know, setting it up and didn't want the kid to really freak out. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. That could be really scary because even though they know what's going on, you can't really stop yourself from emotionally reacting to somebody. Well, for kids.

For kids. I can't. I can. I'm a grown man. Yeah, yeah. But he's 12. I know I'm doing this. I'm just concerned about him at the same time, trying to be abusive.

father. But Bart was on the set for that. Bart Millard, you know, was his story, and it must have been a very difficult thing for him to watch. Yeah, I can imagine. But I guess he kind of hopefully knew what he was in for, it just seems really tough to watch. Yeah, I would think. But that was a story of redemption. That's for sure. Yeah. You do see a lot of child actors seem like they never got a chance to just, like, go throw spitballs and play soccer in the backyard. Like, they're working. Yeah. Which is strange for me, having grown up in many. Michigan with no child actor friends. Right, right.

They're just like aliens now. Yeah, I meet them. Yeah, I thought that's what I would go with. I would go with trying to my own childhood, which is what we do, I think. We go with our own childhood to raise our other kids, including, well, I'm not going to be that way. Yeah. My kids, the way my parents were. I'm going to screw my kid up.

I'm going, oh, now I understand why they were that way. Definitely, yeah. Like, I want to screw my kid up in my own way, not in the way my own way. not in the way my dad and mom did. Yeah. Got my own brand dysfunction. You're listening to the Jordan Harbinger show with our guest, Dennis Quaid. We'll be right back after this.

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And now for the conclusion of our episode with Dennis Quaid. When you married Meg Ryan, her career took off slightly after that. Did that affect your marriage in any sort of negative way? Like, I know there's probably some dialogue of like, oh, well, you know, look how well she's doing. Well, we know who pays that mortgage. I don't think people literally say that, but it seems like I would worry about that. Only the haters. The haters?

Well, if I'd be honest, I really have to. admit that Meg and I, we had a beautiful relationship, and we were together for 13 years. And when we first met, you know, I was the one with my 15 minutes, you know, there on the actor of the moment, you know, I guess. During our relationship, that got transcended. You should Harry met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle and all those. You know, I'd gone to rehab and gotten myself straight and cleaned. And I thought, well, now things are going to really work out. okay, and they don't.

Oh, man. Yeah, it turns into like not working for a year just to get on my feet. And then that turned into two and then maybe choosing the wrong thing. So I started to feel a little bit like I was disappearing. Really? I mean, if I'm really going to be honest about it, you know what I mean? I thought, well, I'm never going to be. I'm too big of a person to ever feel that way, you know.

But, yeah, I did. You ever feel a little bit like I was disappearing. Did it scare you to make you more angry or something else? I guess it made me sad. But I also felt like, oh, I can't admit this. Sure. You know what I mean? Especially not to your wife.

At the same time, it's so obvious. Like you're the last, maybe everyone. Yeah, we're walking down the streets in New York and everybody going, Mark! Hey, Mike! You know, or they come up and had me hold her purse while I... Well, I guess they didn't have camera phones back then. Hey, can you take a picture of us?

It was really funny. The first couple of times. But that's what it was. I think it was probably a really good lesson for me in life. Just like a little humility or something. I mean, we all go through everything. You know what I mean, whether we admit it or not. Yeah.

We're all pretty shallow. Well, yeah. We're self-serving and self-involved down there at the bottom of it all. Did that affect your marriage at all? Was it like, no, it's fine that she's getting all the. Well, yeah. Yes, yes, it did. But the real thing.

was, you know, we're raising Jack, and we wanted to keep his routine right. And so she would go off and do a film, and then I would go off and do a film. And that was back before they had these slick, great cameras. So, you know, a movie would take maybe four or five months sometimes instead of, you know, instead of eight weeks or five weeks to do. So, you know, there was a lot of separation. Sure. And that was, I think that was the thing. Might have been better for Jack that you were around more. then, huh? Oh, that's the wonderful part of it. That, you know, I really got to be the kind of dad that I wanted to be. Yeah. I guess if you're not suffering from a lot of FOMO or anything at the time,

and you've got a great kid, then you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. I think most of being a dad is just being there. That's most of it. It's a comforting thing to kids. That definitely makes sense. And, you know, a lot of dads have told me the same thing. Like, don't panic about being super dad all the time. Just show up. Yeah, really. Just fucking show up. You know, and then you have to do your job and keep up your relationship with your partner. I know music's a big part of your life. You wrote a few songs for three of your films, been in a band for like 20 years. Same guys.

Same guys. For 19 years this Halloween, like that. Oh, well, happy band-aversory. Well, that's really good. You could steal that. I definitely think I just made that up just now. Really? Yeah.

I think you did, too. I've never heard before. I've also never heard. Wow. It just came out. Yeah. See what happens when you relax? That's right.

Yeah, but same guys for 19 years. Before that, I've always had a band, really, and I've been a songwriter, I guess, since I was 12, because I knew I was never going to be like a shredder on a guitar. And so songwriting was sort of my defense, you know, because when you start out playing guitar, it's all about the girls. Sure, yeah. Yeah, how I do. Yeah.

So I've always been a writer, but I had a band, which was basically Bonnie Raids band back in the 80s called the eclectics. You should see those photos. Oh, man. Yeah. I saw the photos of them now. I can only imagine what they looked like 40 years ago. But that was a different band.

And then around 2000, that was it. Halloween 2000, we started the sharks. Because your kid made it. Well, Jack came up with it. It was Shark Week. Really? We were looking for a name for the band. And he was like nine.

What should we name of our band? He says, sharks. Good. And so I always say, thank God it was a dinosaur. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Probably could be dead jokes. That's the line I always use.

Good dad joke, man. I'm going to keep that one in my back pocket. I found it a little surprising that you like Lil Wayne, or is that also some bullshit? I do like Lil Wayne. I think he's a genius, man. I really do. It's a little unexpected. You know, how you think Lil Wayne is another thing, but stuff that just spouts out of his head.

You know, he's coming from his own authentic experience in life without any kind of judgment about what that is. You know, that's where he's coming from. And, man, he can do a hard rhyme. Amazing. I mean, there's things you just never forget that he says, like, yes, I am wheezy, but I ain't asthmatic. And you just go, wow. And that stuff is just, he's spouting out of it.

Yeah. Like, Notorious BIG had that effect, too. Yeah. You ever listen to that? I can just do it. And Tupac. Yes. Tupac was it for me of concern.

I think I still have pretty much every single word memorized off of the All Eyes on Me, Double CD, just back and forth in my car. I did a movie with Tupac. It's called gang-related. Really? Yeah. Were you a police officer in the movie?

No, I was an itinerate bum on the street from downtown L.A. who turned out to be this very wealthy surgeon doctor who would just go out in the street because his life blew up. But Tupac played a cop with Jim Belushi. I didn't know who Tupac was back then. I was not into rap music really. He was another actor. I mean, I've been told. But he was like 24.

And we wound up, like, having lunch together, like, every day. We both love Chinese food. So we ordered it every day because we were down there to Chinatown. Sure. And it wound up, like, talking. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't know, like, a bunch of stuff about him. Because I had no, you know, we talked about our moms. We were both very close to our moms, maybe in different ways.

Wow. And we talked about life and, you know, acting and a little bit of his, you know, background in it and all that stuff. And he was a fantastic guy. He was very smart. He was very sensitive. He was very funny. And, God, I think he would have had an incredible career. I think so.

In music and in acting. He was such a good actor. He was super hard worker, too, by all accounts. He didn't assume anything. He was very, you know, he was on the set, and he was ready to work and ready to go. No bullshit. Just, you know, himself. And very professional.

That stuff is amazing. I mean, when you see that and then you see, like, Oh, he got shot by some punk. That happened like four months later. It must have been really quickly. It was shocked. Because he was still a kid when he died. I mean, I think he was 24 years old.

Yeah. Yeah, oh, right. I mean, so. He's done more. Well, so was James Dean. He was 24. Buddy Holly was 24. Oh, man.

Yeah. That makes me feel like I got to get after it. I mean, these guys did more. Hank Williams was, what, 29? Yeah, that sounds about right. You look at their body of work. Yeah. And you just didn't.

You jaw drops. 27 for me. musicians is like a terrible sort of first number too, right? Yeah. Jim Morrison. Jim Morrison, Mama Cass. Amy Winehouse?

Amy Winehouse. Jimmy Winnehouse. Jimmy Hendricks. Yeah. It's almost, it's a whole different show, I think. As an artist, do you think that you need a wide variety of inputs to create your best output? Like, Little Wayne, Tupac, and then that goes in and then something up here happens and you create better?

I don't necessarily think so, because, you know, people have made a career out of it. of one thing, but I've just, I grew up in Houston, which is sometimes called West Louisiana. You know, you have a very diverse music background if you come from there. You know, you got all that cage of music and jazz coming over from Louisiana, you know, you've definitely got country and Western music. And my dad was really into, you know, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby and a lot of church music. But it was so varied. Of course, we all went Bealmania, crazy when they came out. So, very diverse. Is it true that you play with your band in Bare Feet? Yes, when we first started out. What's up with that? That was, well, I felt like I was in my

living room, but that was probably looking back, a device I used because I didn't feel all that confident up there. Okay. Oh, so you wanted to be like, I'm at home. I figured I would try to be anonymously as bad as I could, you know, I didn't really want to bring it to record instead. That's reason we waited like 18 years to record a record. Wait, what? Yeah, we waited 18 years to record it because I wanted to give myself time to be bad, make mistakes, and I did. It seems like a gross thing to do at a bar.

Yes, it is. You know? Yes, it is, especially when it comes to cut feet, which I never had. But there was blood on a stage sometimes, but not from my feet. Not from your feet? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah.

It was probably a device that I was using. Because I did not feel all that confident. Do you not wear shoes in your house? You're barefoot at home? No, I like to wear shoes. Just not when you play music. Well, I wear shoes. I've been wearing shoes now for a good 10 years on stage.

So I could tell you that I have more confidence up there. That makes sense. How do you come up with a device like that? Who comes up with that kind of thing? Is it like something you hear? Like, oh, you know, this guy, he doesn't wear shoes. I don't know. It just happened one night as a lark, and so I kept it.

And then a bunch of people mentioned it. So I thought, well, I'll keep it. Yeah. Yeah. Probably guys it doesn't wear shoes. Right. Yeah. It's hard to hit the footpoint, but it doesn't matter.

Yeah. The Beastie Boys, they don't wear shirts. I won't wear shoes. How come you never had a Hollywood meltdown? Like, where's the Dennis Quaid tape of you losing your shit at some lighting guy? I saw one, but it looked thick. Oh, wait. I did that a hoax. I saw that.

Where, yeah, actually had people going for about three days. It was a funnier die video. Yeah. That we did. Where we set it up and shot it like I was doing a movie. and wind up just having a meltdown of the set over the slightest little bitty thing and somebody secretly doing the audio on it.

And so we leaked that out there. And of course, everybody, TMZ and all those that he got picked up on it. And, you know, well, he's back on drugs or he's this or he's that or whatever he is. We let it go for like two days until we released what really happened. Which was a comedy skit, actually, by the way.

And then all the talk shows, everything helped us. You know, we used like Billy Bush on extra or whatever it was at the time. And Jimmy Kimmel, of course, gave us quite a boost. And it was just funny. It is funny. Especially like, you got these two zombies whispering each other's ears. Yeah.

I'm a fucking pro. And a bunch of. Yeah. We'll link it in the show notes. I think it ends with... It's very funny. I believe it ends with Blow Me and the door slamming. Yeah, blow me.

And then I've got to be getting a hairdryer. So... All right. Well, tell me about the bear in the banjo before your publicist, like, throws something at me from across the room. I think you've got the buyout rights to me. It's my story now after so long, right? Bear and a banjo is a podcast that I've been a part of and producing and also acting in. Jared, Jingle Jared, is what I call him, Ustad, who is my business partner. T-bone Burnett and Bob Dylan, who contributed some lyrics, and Poo Bear. who writes for Justin Bieber.

It's a true fiction of a story of American musical history. These two characters, Bear and Banjo, starting from in the 20s when everybody dispersed from New York where they're portable finally recording machines and started recording music in the country. What if they passed the Carter family farm and gone 100 miles down the road? What would music sound like?

Now, if there wasn't a Jimmy Rogers, it was somebody else. But Baron Banjo show up these seminal moments in American musical history. You know, Little Richard and the birth of rock and roll, the blues, you know, in Chicago and Detroit, and even being, working with the U.S. Army on Sonic Warfare. And it was a lot of fun to do, a whole lot of fun to do. And it's, I think it's number two. It's number two.

Yeah, it's number two behind Dolly Parton's. And very fun to produce. It doesn't really take a lot of money to do a podcast. Now you know why I'm in the business. Exactly. And who knows where it goes from there. So far so good. Yeah.

It really is sort of like the, like when MTV first came out or serious radio first came out, nobody really knows where it's going, but you know it's going somewhere. And nobody can tell where it's going to be a year from now. And the audience increased fourfold over just the last. last year. Sure. And tell you the truth, a year and a half ago, I really didn't know what a podcast was. I was probably in a couple. Yeah. I know what I was. Sure. But, you know, it really can't be anything. It could be a story, a scripted story. I want to do like radio plays, basically. Yeah, I wanted to have that. And that's what, like the script in the drawer. Everybody's got a script

in the drawer. That's right. And you don't have to stay in great shape to do them, too. By the way, you look like you're an awesome shape. What kind of work? You know, trainer? What kind of work? I read a bicycle a lot. I've done it for so long. This old guy, when I was boxing down at Hollywood Y in my 20s, he said he was in great shape. But I asked him, how he said, if you take care of yourself in your 20s and your 30s, the rest will take care of itself. Well, I'm 39. I still got time. Well, it's the truth, though, you know, because you form habits.

Yeah. That's just what you do. Plus, I'm vain. Fair enough. Do you wish you would have done more movies with Randy, with your brother? Well, we did several. I know, yeah. The Long Riders, we did True West off Broadway for a year and between there and Hollywood.

And we did kind of a Saturday Night Live thing. They were going to do it as a prime time show. It was called Primetime. A couple other movies. But I don't have any regrets to tell you the truth. Yeah. Must have been fun being in a movie with your brother. Have you done anything with Jack?

No, right? No, kind of intentionally. You know, Jack wanted to offer him to help him with an. agent and he said, no, dad, I want to do it myself. And then, you know, the first thing he got was hunger games. And then he's doing vinyl, you know, with Scorsese. Sure. And, you know, now he's got the boys, which is like maybe the biggest show on TV.

It's killing it. So I have no qualms about asking him for help. Yeah, I was going to say, why don't you have him throw you apart? A little boost over here, man, throw me a bone. It's fine. I raised you. Not tried at all. Exactly.

It's the least you could do. No. I'm very, very proud of him. I bet. Yeah, as well you should be. Thanks for coming in, man. I'm so glad to be here. I really had a great time.

Same here. Yeah, I really appreciate it. Big thank you to Dennis Quaid. His new podcast is called The Bear and the Banjo. Link to that'll be in the show notes. There's a video of this interview on our YouTube channel at Jordan Harbinger.com slash YouTube. And there are also worksheets for each episode.

So you can review what you've learned here from Dennis Quaid. Those will also be at Jordan Harbinger.com in the show notes. and we've also got transcripts now for every episode, and those can be found in the show notes as well. We're teaching you how to connect with great people and manage relationships using systems and tiny habits over at our six-minute networking course, which is free over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course.

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