The Jordan Harbinger Show - 345: Jim Kwik | How to Upgrade Your Brain's Limitless Potential

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

Jim Kwik (@jimkwik) hosts the Kwik Brain podcast and is the author of Limitless -- Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, Unlock Your Exceptional Life. What We Discuss with Jim Kwik: Why it's a L.I.E. that your intelligence is fixed and the person you were at age eight is the same person you are today and the same person you'll be tomorrow. Why genius is not born, it’s built -- and it leaves clues. The limitless model: a three-part framework for not only accelerated learning, but for unlocking human potential. A formula for sustainable motivation that drives consistent action. How changing the dominant question you (perhaps unknowingly) ask yourself every day can redirect the focus and trajectory of your life. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/345 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with producer Jason DeFilippo. On the Jordan Harpinger show, we decode the stories, secrets and skills of the world's most brilliant people, and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. We want to help you see the matrix when it comes to how these amazing people think and behave. We want you to become a better thinker. If you're new to the show, we've got episodes with spies and CEOs, athletes and authors, thinkers and performers, as well as toolboxes for skills like negotiation, body language, persuasion, and more. So if you're smart and you like to learn and improve, you'll be right at home here with us. Back on the show with me once again is Jim Quick. He was

known as the boy with the broken brain as a kid because he'd suffered a head injury. He had a learning disability. He couldn't memorize things, couldn't read, was a bad student. He's dedicated himself to self-improvement and learning, specifically meta-learning or the science of learning how to learn. Today we speak about focus, purpose, and motivation. These ideas are different than you might think. They're less hokey than you might think, and they interact in different ways that never occur to most of us. There's always loads of practicals and episodes with Jim, so make sure to check out the worksheets on the website at Jordan Harbinger.com. And if you want to know how I managed to book all these great folks and manage all these relationships with all the guests that

come on the show, I have a networking course that is free. You can use it for your business, you can use it for your personal life. And that's over at Jordan Harbinger.com course. And most of the guests on the show, they subscribe to the course and the newsletter. So come join us, and you'll be in smart company where you belong. Now, here's Jim Quick. Jim, thanks for coming on the show, man. Jordan, and it's such a pleasure to be back. I've been really looking forward to this. And we've been friends for a long time. And last time you came on the show, I think we talked about focus, study, memories, speed reading, some critical thinking type stuff. We'll do a little

bit more critical thinking stuff today. But I'd like to get into some of the, I don't know if it's new content, but certainly stuff we haven't talked about in the past. I could appreciate that, especially what's going on in the world right now, where people feel like they're overloaded, they're overwhelmed, they're not certain what tomorrow's going to look like. Job might be at jeopardy, you know, the future of work or the new normal. I mean, people are very concerned, for sure. Let's give them some good news.

There are seven lies to learning, L-I-E. I don't know what L-I-E stands for here, but I'm sure it's some clever mnemonic device that you've created because if I know one thing about you, it's that you have clever mnemonic devices. So I'd like to talk about these because this is actually, it's like starting with some good news, right? It is. A lie, of course, is an acronym. I use a lot of nemonics. I use a lot of I alliterate everything to make it memorable and it may be easy to share and store. A lie for me stands for a limited idea entertained. So it's this idea that mindset plays a role and the beliefs that we choose to entertain about ourselves and about life and about learning has an

effect on our results. Something as simple as one of the lies like intelligence is fixed. Like you take a test when you're eight years old and that's your intelligence when you're 88 years old. And we know it's simply not true. And so as part of the book, we talk about mindset and unlimited these commonly held beliefs that may hold back our performance. and our results. The first one I think is, first of all, good news for everyone. It's that intelligence is fixed. The idea that intelligence is not fixed, I think a lot of people know that, but I will

tell you, if you told me this 10 years ago, I would have probably not even believed you. And I am so glad that that is not actually true. Yeah, we tend to think of IQ scores as a fixed reflection of our intelligence, but that is simply not the case. The IQ test actually measures maybe some segment of academic capabilities, but, you know, not innate intelligence. You know, to this day, IQ tests still don't measure creativity, emotional intelligence, social intelligence, you know, the practical intelligence. That's what a lot of people would call street smarts, if you will. And there's an important distinction to remember

that there's a difference between test scores and your ability to learn. And so we talk about that in the context that the truth is it's not necessarily how smart you are on a test. It's how are you smart and that there are multiple types of intelligence. And a lot of it is context dependent, meaning that maybe Einstein wasn't, you know, if his car didn't work and he was pulled over on the side, maybe he couldn't fix his own car because it's context dependent depending on what's going on in the environment. So my more of a belief that's more accurate is that intelligence is not fixed, it's more fluid. And I could show anybody how to do better on an IQ test to be able to study to be able to boost their memory and have those numbers, if you will. But for me, intelligence

is the ability to adapt. Intelligence is the ability to see patterns that I do believe that genius leaves clues when someone is successful at certain things, that if you're willing to put the time in and do the deep work and uncover, there are strategies and their processes that you could create similar low results. And so intelligence is not fixed. It's certainly fluid. We know that the IQ thing is kind of not necessarily the case, because when people take IQ tests with different backgrounds or even in different contexts, but they're the same person and it's the same time of day or a different time of day, the results change. So we know that these simple measurements of intelligence are not necessarily true. And even standardized tests now, I think the train has sailed,

as Austin Powers says, on the standardized test saying anything about our intelligence other than our ability to actually take standardized tests. Exactly. That means you're really good. at taking tests, which is one form. But, you know, then there's visual spatial intelligence. People are a genius at their great graphic artists and they are wonderful architects. There's kinesthetic intelligence, people who you've had on your show that have incredible control and development of their physiology, the athletes, the choreographers, the dancers. And so there's so many different forms of genius. And it's really, again, not how smart someone is, but really how are they smart. And so the idea that intelligence is fixed, that's absolutely false.

You could increase it. And there are multiple forms of intelligence than maybe the SATs test for, you know, verbal, mathematical. There's so many more that are equally valued. And we need all kinds of intelligence in society. You need all forms of intelligence on your team. So genius leaves clues as something you mentioned before. Tell us what that means because that's a very clever sort of bumper sticker in itself. But let's dive into that.

Yeah. And so that's one of the costs of saying things. that might sound a little trite and memorable, that maybe it takes away from the impact and people could blow it off. I believe that when people see, for example, when I do things on stage and I memorize 100 people's names or 100 words and numbers, I always tell people there's a method behind what looks like magic, that genius, in fact, is not necessarily born, that genius is built, and that's just another lie, you know, that genius is born, that through deep, work and practice that we could actually grow our talent and we could get better at skills and we could

have new distinctions. And, you know, really what limitless is about is it's not about being perfect. It's about progressing and advancing beyond what you currently believe is possible. And one of the things that keeps us static is the thinking. Those deeply held beliefs are our self-talk that says, you know, because you could give somebody a method for remembering names, but if their mindset, or they have a limited belief that says I'm not smart enough or I don't have a good memory. It's just going to be more self-fulfilling than anything else. But when we're talking about genius leaves clues, I believe that people who are great investors, they are able to negotiate, they are able to do anything in between, that they're doing

certain things that are usually unconscious or invisible to the rest of the world. and when people know what they're doing, that there is a process. Like maybe there's not a pill. Everyone wants the pill, right? What's the pill that's going to fix my love life? What's the pill that's going to make me all the money? What's the pill or silver bullet that's going to fix my memory?

Well, your title or your book is from that move. Well, I don't know if it's from that movie, but there was a movie called Limitless. Was that Bradley Cooper, by the way? It was. It was with Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, where he goes from zero to hero, and he takes that pill and he has this incredible focus,

and he has an incredible memory, He learns languages, and he has this surge of motivation. But when the pill wears off 24 hours later, he goes back down to zero again. The forward of the book was by Dr. Mark Hyman, and he writes in it that there is no genius pill, but Jim gives you the process for unlocking your best brain and your brightest future. So I don't believe in the pills, but I do believe that there is a process for doing things, for investing, for negotiating, for creating great relationships, to be a great listener, to be able to read faster.

When you take a down and you turn it into a verb, where people often say to themselves, I don't have motivation, I don't have creativity, I don't have focus. Those aren't things you have. Those are things that you do. And when you turn it into a verb,

it gives you your agency back, frankly. It allows you to have more control as opposed to being the effect and just wake up. And I'm like, oh, I hope I have energy today. I hope I'm creative so I could write that book or make those videos. Jim, you know me. I always want to zoom in and go micro, and I was about to jump into the motivation angle here because that is a common misconception that I think needs cleared up and people would be

well served to hear that. But I know you have the limitless model. Do you want to give us an overview of this before I start throwing a magnifying glass on specific pieces? That's perfect. So the limitless model is a three-part framework for not only accelerated learning, but for unlocking human potential. I know that's a grandiose claim. So I will dissect this. I want everybody to think about an area of their life where they feel like they're not making progress, where they are not advancing. It could be in their career. It could be in their income. It could be in their pact.

It could be in their health. Maybe it's in their personal relationships or maybe they're not progressing and they're learning, you know, as we talk about in terms of reading speed or their memory. Don't you think about an area where you feel like you're in a box and you're not making progress? And in that box, you have, you know, it's three-dimensional, right? And the three dimensions that keep you in that box are the three elements to the limitless model. So it keeps you there, but it also, these are the same three elements that will liberate you. And so I want everyone to take out a piece of paper if they're able to.

If not, they just can imagine it. Imagine three intersecting circles. So you can think about Mickey Mouse, two ears that are intersecting and the face. and they all cross over with each other. So there's some shared space. And these are the three circles that really unlock your potential, your ability to learn, your ability to earn, your ability to grow. And so the first circle is your mindset.

And how I would define mindset are it's your assumptions and attitudes about something. Your mindset is your attitudes and assumptions about the world and how it works. It could be your mindset about your assumptions and attitudes about yourself or about learning. So what would fall squarely in that circle would be things like what you believe is possible, would be part of your mindset, what you believe you are capable of, because you could believe something is possible, but you could also believe that you're not capable of that thing. What would fall in that circle are things like what you believe you deserve. And so this is the first M of the limitless mind.

model. Now, there are three M's, obviously. The last M is going to be methods. And primarily limitless was a book on methodology. When I was ready to turn it into my publisher, it was things you and I have talked about before, how to read faster, how to focus, how to use critical thinking skills, learning languages, and give TED talks from memory. And then I asked myself this question, I said that, will everybody who gets this book and reads it, will they all get results? And my honest answer was no. You know, really not by a long. because a lot of people know what to do, but they don't do it. And what keeps people from doing the things that they know they should do? And so I added these two elements in, and really it's three

books in one. So the first thing is your mindset. And that's where we talk about the lives, the limited ideas that we entertain. And we have to unlimited those in order to be able to move forward because I could teach you a method on learning languages or giving a TED talk from memory. But if your mindset is, oh, I'm not a good public speaker or I have a horrible memory that's going to keep you in that box. The second M, the circle, is your motivation. And I know this is something that is very concerning for a lot of people because there's a lie around motivation. There are a number of lies around motivation like there are around mindset, a limited idea

entertain. Like one of the lies I think around motivation is that, first of all, most people think motivation is going to a seminar and jumping on chairs and waving your arms and saying, yeah, I'm going to change my life. And the next day, we know what happens, right? You know, you don't start exercising. You don't start eating the good food. You don't start writing that book or whatever, start saving and doing the things that you know you should do.

So what gets in the way? So motivation for me really is sustainable drive. And I have a formula for sustainable motivation. Even when Bradley Cooper took the pill, he had a surge of motivation. But when that pill wore off, no motivation, no drive. And so there's a formula. Now, one of the lies before I give you the three, step formula is that you have to enjoy the thing. Because looking at it scientifically, motivation,

it's not what you say. Someone could say they're motivated or they could feel motivated, but the evidence that you're motivated is that you do something, right? You take some sort of consistent action. Somebody can't say that they're motivated to work out and not work out, right? Knowing that's the case, one of the things I thought about was so many people say you have to enjoy that thing in order to be motivated, right? And you have to have this intrinsic motivation. And I feel like I can think of some counter examples, meaning that I know I have friends that wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning. For me, I don't do that. But they work out even on top of that. And I asked a friend of mine who does that and you can't say this person's not motivated.

They never missed a day. I asked them a question, do you enjoy waking up in the morning that early? And he says, absolutely not. I'm not a morning person. I was like, okay. Do you enjoy working out at least? Is that why? He's like, no, working out, I hate it. It's the second thing I dislike the most after waking up early. And I'm like, wow. And yet you never miss a day.

And I'm like, wow. So it doesn't mean you have to enjoy that thing. Because a lot of people think in order to be motivated to do something, they have to enjoy it. Now, I'm all for adding joy to it and finding the positive in it. But it's not a prerequisite, meaning that when you and I have talked about my morning routines in a previous episode, one of the things to, you know, in the first hour of the day, one of the things I take a cold shower. Or if people do follow me on social media, I often take in five-minute ice bath, pure ice. And the truth be told, I hate it. I really hate it. I grew up in

the Northeast. I don't like the cold at all. And yet, I never miss it. And I'm consistent about it. And people could say, I'm very motivated. And it's not that I enjoy it, but I have a reason to do it. and that this is what I want to get into in terms of human motivation. And so there are three keys for sustainable motivation. So as you're thinking about some area of your life where you're not motivated, quote unquote, you're not making progress, you sabotage, you procrastinate, you put things off. This is the formula for sustainable motivation. And how I came up with this is not only is this book,

the latest neuroscience applied to accelerated learning and human potential cognitive performance. It's also just 28 years of field testing this, from children with learning challenges to seniors who have, you know, early stage dimension, everyone in between. Again, genius leaves clues. And when I think about the motivated individuals that I know, they have these three elements. So let's go through a thought experiment. Let's say you and I and the person listening to this right now, we are going to build the ultimate human being who's motivated all the time. They have the ultimate motivation. It just never

falters. And so as we're going through this thought experiment, I believe the formula is P times E times S3. P times E times S3. These are the three elements for sustainable motivation. Now, the P stands for purpose. I don't love taking cold showers, but I have a reason for doing so. And I'm not is the reason. I hear about this and I'm just like, there's not, why do this to yourself? So for me, I feel better after I take a cold shower than I do having coffee. It's like a nervous system reset. Try having more coffee. They say cold therapy, you know, you hit your knee and, you know, like on the coffee table, you put ice on it to reduce the swelling. Well, it reduces inflammation. That's the goal. We lower information in our body that can lead to challenges.

information, yeah. And for me, though, it really just, it wakes me up in a way, you know, when I go, and I don't do it all cold. I go cold and I go hot, you know, 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off. And they say it's good for your skin. But really, for me, I just feel like it's a reset and I feel amazing afterwards. And when I'm talking about purpose, I'm thinking about the P stands for purpose and the equation. And I don't mean your life purpose. I mean having a purpose for acting.

Because the truth is that if somebody is not following through, you know, in terms of their motivation, sometimes they can't find the purpose in it. They don't see why it's relevant or rewarding for themselves. So maybe they shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Let's look at that. One of the best ways to improve your efficiency and effectiveness is not doing the things you shouldn't be doing. But if you can't find purpose, or maybe that person, it's just intellectual.

Like, they can make a list of pros and cons of why they should do something, but they're not feeling it. And I do really do believe that, you know, as we know that people don't buy logically, they buy emotionally because we are not logical, we are biological. You think about dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, these endorphins is where this chemical soup. And so how do you allow yourself to feel the rewards of doing something, feeling it, and also the consequences of not doing it? Because, for example, I have an acquaintance who just would not change their lifestyle.

They ate all the crappy food. They don't exercise. You just name it. And then one day they have a heart attack and they had triple bypass surgery and they came out of it and they still continue their lifestyle. You know, with the smoking and everything else. No judgment, but that's just their choice. And I have a quote in the book from a French philosopher that says, life is the C between B and D. Life is the C between B and D.

And I start the book that way and you're thinking, you know, Jim, you're speaking in tongues, you're speaking in code. Yeah. B stands for birth. So D stands for death. And C, life stands for choice. I really do believe, but that we are the sum total of the choices we've made up to this point. You know, choices like, where am I going to go to school? Who am I going to spend time with? What am I going to eat today? Am I going to exercise or not exercise today? Where am I going to live? Right? All these choices led us up to the point we're at right now. And I believe right now with the difficult times that these difficult times, they could diminish you.

These difficult times can define you or these difficult times can develop you. Ultimately, we decide, right? And so we make these micro choices all the time. Going back to the power of motivation is just choosing the meaning behind something and choosing this man who didn't choose his, you know, he chose his lifestyle, what to eat or one not to work out or whether to smoke or not. And then one day his daughter comes to him crying. crying and crying. And the father wants to know what's the matter. And she was upset because she wants

when she grows up, her father to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. And all the sudden, he starts to work out. All of a sudden, he starts to eat better, right? And so you have to allow yourself to feel the rewards of doing that activity that you want to be motivated for. And I also think that some people, they always want to be positive. I think pain could be a great motivator. to allow yourself to feel the consequences of not following through with something. So that's the P and the equation is purpose. And again, not just intellectually knowing the benefits that come from following through, also allowing yourself to feel the pain.

Like who's counting on you to show up today and to do and to follow through on these things? So that's the P is purpose. Now, I went back into this mental experiment. I'm saying, okay, we're designing the ultimate human being who's always motivated. if that person just has purpose and they really feel it, will they always be consistently acting and motivated? You're listening to The Jordan Harbinger Show. We'll be right back.

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It just means that you get all of the latest episodes downloaded automatically to your podcast player so you don't miss a single thing. And now, back to the show. Yeah, of course not, right? Because you're going to run into these times when, sure, I have a reason to do this. Like, I want to walk my daughter down the aisle, but I'm 300 pounds or something like that. And I don't even know if we need an absolute measurement. I'm 100 pounds overweight, right? But in the moment, I'm like, but I'm hungry.

Oh, and I'm so tired. Oh, and I did so much work today. I deserve to eat this rack of ribs, which sounds amazing right now, by the way. And so it's hard in the moment to then seize that motivation. You just think I'll start tomorrow. And then you let yourself down and you beat yourself up, but you still ate the ribs. Exactly. And part of that delves back into the mindset, you know, in terms of the mindset of what we deserve,

the mindset of what's most important to us and what's possible. What I noticed when I was doing the experiment, I was like, I could think of another exception, even if somebody has purpose and they really feel it, right? They might not still act. So let's use a simple example like working out again, right? So it's just very straightforward. Somebody could have a reason for exercising and they could feel it. But let's say the E, by the way, to give it away, stands for energy.

So maybe they have a newborn and they haven't slept in three days or they're so freaked out with what's going on right now in the world that they have this anxiety and it's keeping them up late at night. and they lack the energy so they're not going to be motivated to work out. And energy is very important. Like having the fuel. Let's say they want to read every single day. They know, hey, I think it's important to read. I heard Jim say reading is to your mind, what exercise is to your body. I want to level up and learn new skills.

And while we are cocooning during this time, but let's say that person ate a big meal of, like, processed food and they're in a food coma. They're not going to be very motivated to study or read. because they lacked the energy. And so I wanted to address energy in the book. So we did a whole chapter on how to optimize and level up your mental vitalities for people who struggle with mental fatigues. We talk everything about, you know, the best brain foods, to optimizing your sleep and so on. And then my mind went, okay, you have purpose and you have energy. Is that all you need for this ultimate motivated human being? And I was like, no, I could think of one more exception that will

keep this person from acting. If you could feel the reasons, the purpose, you could have abundance of energy, you got great night's sleep, or eating all the best foods ever. But if that thing in your mind is too big or too intimidating or too confusing, then you're not going to do it. And S3, the final part of the equation, are small, simple steps. So many people, you know this, Jordan, they have this idea. They want to create the next multi-million dollar social media brand. Right. They want to create the next Uber. They don't just want to like get off their butt and make the app. Yeah. Exactly. It's so huge, right? It's like, I want to find my soulmate and live happily ever after. I mean, these are people's goals. They want to have the perfect body or whatever it is. It's just way too big.

How you find your small, simple step, your S3 is asking this very simple, clarifying question. What is the tiniest action I could take that will give me progress towards this goal where I simply cannot fail? What's the tiniest action I could take that gives me progress towards this goal where I can't fail? Because it requires very little effort, very little energy. I think a lot of people overthim things. Like thinking is good, but overthinking and wanting everything to be perfect, you know, it's process analysis. What is one little thing? So maybe it's not working out as an example.

Maybe it is putting on your running shoes. Maybe it's not reading 45 minutes a day. Maybe it's opening the book or reading one line in the book. because nobody's going to stop at one line. Inch by inch, it's a inch, yard by yard, it's too hard. It's really energy management is motivation, as we're talking about. Having purpose, you know, gives you energy. Doing the things like eating the best foods, sleep gives you vitality,

gives you energy. And then breaking things down in the small bite-sized pieces requires very little energy. And you get some momentum on top of that. That's motivation. And then the final M, the circle we talked about, are methods. And those are the processes for doing things. In the book, we document five specific kind of superpowers. You know, I like to talk about mental superpowers. We talk about speed rating, memory enhancement, focus, study, and critical thinking skills. But when you're looking at this model, here's a lot of the big ahas for people. As you draw this out on paper or in your mind, you see these three big circles intersecting. Now, where mindset crosses over with motivation, you have what I call inspiration. So you have, experts on mindset. You have a great book called Mindset by Carol Dweck. You have motivational speakers or

motivational books. Where that crosses over, you have this area of inspiration. So you have inspiring speakers, you have inspiring movies. And when you're inspired by a movie, it kind of shifts a little bit your mindset and gives you a little energy, a little motivation. That's the first eye. And of course, I'm going to give you three eyes to match the three M's. Naturally. When our mindset crosses over with methods, because the problem with mindset and motivations, you have inspiration, but it doesn't include the methods. So you're inspired, but you don't know what to do, right? Because you lack the methods. Where mindset crosses over with methods, you have ideation. Meaning your mindset says, okay, I know this is possible. I know I'm capable of it.

And I know what to do, the methods, but you're still not doing it. So it stays an idea because you lack the motivation. So that's ideation. And that's a lot of want to be entrepreneurs. right? They read things on mindset, everything, everything is possible because they see it on social media. They might even know what to do, but they don't do it, right? And so we know that ideas are available, readily available. But what a lot of people don't do is where motivation crosses over with methods, you're motivated, you have purpose, you have energy, and you know what to do, the methods. That's implementation, the third eye, implementation. Yet you could still be stuck in that box because you're only going to be able to achieve what you believe.

is possible, what you believe you are capable of, what you believe you deserve because you lack the mindset. And then finally, where all three Ms or all three Is intersect, that middle point, that nexus, if you will, is a fourth eye. And that fourth eye is integration. Integration like interger or integral, it means your whole. This is where it's just who you are. That's the limitless state. And so when you think about whether it's relationships, or your career or your impact or your income. This is a framework for looking at it and analyzing saying, okay, here's some new distinctions.

If I'm not making progress, I'm not advancing. Is it in my mindset? Am I telling myself these lies? Is it in my belief in myself? Is it a belief about the world or how businesses are work? Or is it in my motivation? Do I not have real purpose here? I'm not allowing myself to feel that purpose.

Do I lack the energy? Maybe I'm around these energy vampires that I, Every time I try to make progress, these people bring me down and suck all my battery life, you know, or is it I'm not, you know, I'm overwhelmed. I'm not breaking down a small, simple step. Or am I not role modeling people who know, you know, current ways of marketing or investing or of negotiating on the methods? Maybe they're antiquated and I need to learn new processes.

And so it takes a judgment out and you can narrow in into the area where it exists the bottleneck. Right. This makes sense because I think a lot of people, they'll think, well, I just need to get motivated. And it doesn't matter how motivated you are if you don't have any sort of plan, or even if you do have the plan and you don't necessarily have the purpose

to sustain that motivation, it's not going to happen. So if you don't have a method, it goes nowhere. Or let's say you have that motivation. And by the way, we're going to put all this in the worksheets along with this sort of Venn diagram and everything with all these different alliterative little bumper stickers that we can throw in the worksheet. So nobody has to be, you don't have to replay this

and take notes. We'll give you the notes in the worksheets that are always on the website at Jordan Harbinger.com. But for people that might have methods and motivation, if you only believe you're going to get to a certain level, you will self-sabotage. And I know this sounds a little hokey. Like, you believe that you can achieve it.

I don't believe that at all. In fact, I believe that there's a lot of people that only have mindset and you see them online that the people are like, I can achieve anything. And it's like, cool, what are you going to do? Well, tomorrow, because today I'm tired, I'm going to go and post a lot of memes on Instagram. And it's like, okay, your method is flawed,

your motivation is lacking. Your mindset, you know, a plus, I guess, but it's not going to do squat for you. Alternatively, I do know a lot of people that are hardworking. They wake up every day with a more or less a go-getter attitude. And this was me, especially even when I worked in the law firm, it was never like, I should start my own thing. You know, I could do something better. It was always like, whoa, whoa, who are you? You're 27, you know, at the time. You're 27, you're not going to be able to run a business. That's for people who know what they're doing. A lot of these people went to business school. You can't just like start your own thing and have to have. have it be successful, knucklehead. You got to clamp down. So I worked really hard. I got up every day. It worked out. I went to law school. I graduated and passed the bar exam. My methods were sound.

My motivation was there, but the mindset was inherently limiting. Now, getting laid off slash leaving, it sort of depends on which technical term you want to look at. Then I brought my motivation and I brought my methods to that, but I had a mindset shift that was forced upon me by the economy because it was either be the biggest victim of that recession or just start doing what I wanted to do anyway. And even then, man, I'll tell you, it was hard for me to wrap my head around making more money than I would have as a lawyer. It was like, well, I'll do my own business, but I'll never make like multiple six figures as an individual because that's lawyer money. And you can't make a good living doing something you really like because that's somehow cheating. Ooh, yeah, that's a perfect

example where your mindset is kind of like that unconscious thermostat where you set like what you're worth in terms of income. Yeah. And then your behaviors and your motivation will be able to reflect that and you'll be able to create that. And so, you know, having the right mindset in terms of what you believe is possible. Because some things that keep us away from what we really want is this belief that we don't deserve it or we can't get it. Or they can be, you know, have the right mindset as you mentioned and be motivated. But they're using antiquated methods, like maybe the system that they're operating within that job or those rules doesn't allow for the results that you want to create. Another interesting example where this crops up, and it just, it happens in people's language

and it's very subtle. And again, I'm not one of those people who's like, oh, you've got to be careful of your word choice because this and that and the other thing. But I mean, I saw on Twitter somebody had taken a picture of my car's license plate because my wife made a really funny sort of vanity plate that's, it was all her idea. I probably shouldn't shout my license plate number out on the show, but needless to say, whenever people see our car, they take photos of the license plate, and we have a Tesla because we share a car.

So we just bought one decent car instead of like two cars, because I never drive anywhere, and we barely ever go anywhere, especially right now. So we drive a Tesla, and a lot of people will take pictures of that, and I saw somebody on Twitter post it, and then someone replied, oh, well, that guy is probably this, that, and the other thing, and, you know, with a license plate like that. And I was like, actually, that's my car, because I searched Twitter. for my license play because it pops up a lot. So actually that's my car and I wonder why you say that. And she seemed like a normal person. She just said some nasty stuff based on the type of car.

And I said, do you find that Tesla drivers are inconsiderate or something? And she goes, but she wrote back very candidly. She goes, no, it actually is nothing to do with you. I just know I'll never be able to afford a Tesla. So I always hate on people because it actually is a really cool car. And I said, whoa. What makes you say that? Because we're talking about a car that's not, like, it's not insane. It's not a sports car. It's the lowest model that you can get. You know, it's really like a basic in many ways electric car. And I just thought like, wow, that's a really interesting thing to say about yourself. Like, plenty of my neighbors have Tesla's and they're not doctors and lawyers exclusively. Like there's plenty of normal people that just own these cars. And she said,

well, you know, and I can't remember her exact occupation, but I think she was, she was like in journalism or something. She's like, well, I will never make enough money to have a lifestyle that affords that kind of car. And I remember getting in a conversation with her through direct message, and I was just like, you know, you've got to get rid of this idea because you will actually sabotage yourself from opportunity that you think you don't deserve. That could be really good for you and for your career because it doesn't fit the idea of the lifestyle that you're, quote, unquote, allowed to live as a writer or as a journalist. And I gave her some examples of writers that were killing it. You know, Guy Raz is a journalist who's making tons of dough.

doing how I built this and other stuff with NPR. Terry Gross, I'm sure does pretty well, especially working for NPR, doing fresh air. And then other writers, like Mark Manson, no one's going to tell that guy like, hey, man, you know, you better get a day job. I think he's probably in the eight-figure segment of earnings from his books by now.

So you really do have to be careful, and I didn't think people actually did that. You know, if I'd read your book before seeing examples like that and saying, oh, you know, you're self-imposing a lot of your limits and I would just think, ah, this is some self-help mumbo-jumbo, BS. Nobody's really doing that. But if you talk to enough people, you will see folks that say, I will never get to do this. And they don't see anything wrong with that kind of mindset, that kind of expression. They don't see how that limits them. It's completely

invisible. And it is. And that part of the reason why I wrote this book, and it's not just a book on methodology, is to make the invisible more visible, because I see it consistently. Just like how You are on Twitter when I'm out speaking all the time. People come to me after a speech, you know, in the privacy of just in one-on-one conversation, they'll say things like, you know, I had this label not, you know, similar to yours where I felt like I was stupid. You know, my father made me believe this or they'll be saying things like, I'm way too old. I can't do that. You know, I don't deserve that. I grew up with, and they'll be telling me all the reasons why that they can't possibly do that. And if I give them a counter reason, because my, my, my

idea here is that if somebody else is in the same similar situation where they didn't have the money or they didn't have the network or they didn't have the education and they're still able to go through this, then it kind of eliminates some of our excuses. And people come to you still and they'll say like, oh, I just can't possibly learn that or I'm not smart enough. And I say, you know, it's a little cliche. I was like, hey, if you stop fighting for your limitations, if you keep on fighting for your limitations, you get to keep them. But people will like dig in and then They'll defend all the reasons why they're not capable or able to do that. And they'll give you all the evidence for it, too.

I can't learn this because I'm learning disabled or I'm not good at languages is another one. I used that too. If you told me in high school, hey, man, you're probably going to become pretty much fluent in five languages as an adult. I'd say, I got to see in French, man, you got the wrong guy. And then I moved to Germany and I found, oh, turns out I'm actually pretty good at learning languages and now I speak Mandarin Chinese and German and Serbian, you know, like these are things that I had to shed that. But when I was in Germany, I kept saying I'm not good at languages. I'm

not good at languages. And then one day, the evidence just started to overwhelm me because I understood everything that people, well, you know, 80% of what people were saying to me that day in German or the teachers were saying at school. And it was just like, okay, fine. I think I know a lot of German. And then I just went home and started speaking. And my host parents were like, what happened? We couldn't get you to talk for four months. Now we can't get you to shut up. It wasn't that one day I suddenly learned German because I just had the right, you know,

vitamins that night and woke up speaking German. It was that my brain finally let go of the idea that I wasn't good at languages. And then I sought out evidence to refute that. And I still do. Like I'm still taking Mandarin Chinese in the morning because I need to refute the evidence that my brain says, hey, look, you might not be able to learn this. And look, you might not do this with language. is if you're out there listening to this

and you've ever said anything like, I can't do this because I'm learning disabled, I can't do this because I'm bad with names, I have a bad memory, or I grew up poor, or this type of career will never afford me that, or I can never get this type of relationship in my life, or my friends will never be these types of people.

It might seem innocent enough, but like you said, if you fight enough for your limitations, you get to keep them. Like there were plenty of kids that were in Germany with me that said, I can't learn German, I'm never going to make friends here,

and they went home early. And it makes me wonder, 2020 hindsight, how many of them were like months, maybe even weeks or days away from waking up and going, you know what, I can probably do this. I could probably do this. I understand what's going on. Why don't I just like shed this BS and get to it? Because I certainly was thinking maybe I should just leave. I'm never going to learn it. But I didn't want to give up. I didn't want my parents to make fun of me for leaving also, you know? And that's interesting because you had a reason going back to purpose. Even for me, you know, I had, it was a decade and a half of. of struggles in school. You know, I would always be shrinking behind the big kid. I would say, I would always purposely find, you know, the seat that was behind the tall kid. So I wouldn't be called on. I would be saying to myself, I'm just not good at tests. I can't public speak. I can't, you know, learn this like everybody else. I'm not, you know, and then it becomes in a lot of ways, self-fulfilling. And it's interesting how you, when you illustrated that, that it wasn't just,

like, something just didn't happen. And all of a sudden, there were things that, gradually got to a point where you hit this threshold and you had to see it from it. You couldn't possibly deny the evidence to the contrary, right? And we tend to, the brain primarily is a deletion device and you can't focus on everything. So we tend to delete the things that we don't believe. Like if we don't believe something exists, we just won't see it as much as opposed to if we're seeking it out and looking for the evidence to support. And it's not even necessarily right or wrong.

For me, a belief is not necessarily about truth as much as it is. is this useful for me to adopt? For me, as a teacher, I have a general belief that everybody has this incredible genius potential. Now, whether it's true or not, I don't know. You could probably argue for not, but I choose to believe it and I'll act accordingly. Because I think more people fall short of what they're capable of,

far more than the people who are on the other side of that. You're listening to The Jordan Harbinger Show. We'll be right back after this. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps us on the air. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you just heard, so you can check out those amazing sponsors, visit jordanharbinger.com slash deals. And don't forget the worksheet for today's episode. That link is in the show notes at Jordan Harbinger.com slash podcast. If you're listening to us on the Overcast Player, please click

that little star next to the episode. We really appreciate it. And now back to the show. Now, again, I want to highlight that this is not believe it and you can do it because frankly, you can't. That's what the limitless model says. Just because you believe it, you can't. You have to have the other pieces in place. And I was so glad because, as you and I both know, there are so many sort of self-helpy people that are, you know, you are enough. And it's like, well, no, you're not. There are pieces that go into this. It's a nice thought that you're enough and that you believe that you can do it. But like, not really. There's a lot of people that would love to believe they can speak Mandarin, but the fact is they can't. And I was one of those people before I spent eight years learning it,

you know, and there's a lot of people that probably think, you know, I could be a lawyer if I wanted to, and they're not wrong about that. But if they then make the leap to, I know as much as a doctor because I read an article on the internet, we're seeing a lot of that lately. That's different and that's dangerous thinking. So it's not just all about mindset. And I hate to beat a dead horse for a lot of people who are like, dude, I know I can't do this just because I believe it. You would be shocked at how many people sabotage themselves not just into thinking they can't do something because they believe it, but then doing the opposite and thinking that they are qualified. just because they believe and leaving all the other pieces on the table, which is just as destructive and weirdly entitled and delusional, I'll add. I agree with that. People could stay in their mindset saying everything is possible and think of like, I'm just going to attract all these things. But honestly, if they don't do the work and the steps and the methods, you know, there's action involved also. And so it is not one thing. And that's what everyone, you know, in our society, sometimes when people watch social media, they're looking for the one thing to make a million dollars the one thing to improve their memory, the one thing to get the perfect body. It's never one thing.

Another topic that's sort of adjacent to mindset, although I think it crosses over all three areas now that you mention it, is the concept of a dominant question. Can you tell us about this a little bit? I find this useful in it, and it dovetails into a nice story that you told me earlier. I believe that, I mean, this is extremely practical. Something that falls into all threes and becomes integrated is a powerful tool called your dominant question. And, you know, a recent Research suggests that we have anywhere from 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. And a lot of those thoughts are actually coming in the form of questions that we're asking ourselves. And there's some questions that we're asking more than any other questions. And I call those your dominant

questions. So whether you have one or two or three, the reason why it's important is because when you have a question, you activate that part of your brain called the reticular activating system, RAS for short. The example that I use, I really do believe that questions have a lot of power in them. You know, whether you ask a question,

like, why do I want to remember this person's name? Or asking questions before you read something, then you get answers and answers and answers as opposed to not having those questions.

I think questions are like magnets for solutions. And I know this because I remember years ago, my younger sister would send me like these postcards and these images, these emails of a very specific kind

of dog. a pug dog, right? These little docile dogs with smushed faces. And the question I would ask myself is why is she sending me these pug dogs? And I kept on asking that and I realized it came up with the answer. Her birthday was coming up. So she's a great marketer. She's seeding that, you know, really intelligently. But an interesting thing happened, I started seeing pug dogs everywhere. I would go to the grocery store and the woman in front of me would be holding a pug dog at the register. I'd be jogging in my neighborhood and I swear to you, Jordan, there's a guy walking six pug And my question for everybody listening is, did these pug dogs just magically appear on earth?

Of course not. They were always there, but I never paid attention to them. Because at any given time, there could be a billion stimuli you could be paying attention to. So primarily your brain is a deletion device. It's trying to keep more information out because if you let it all in, we would go insane. We'd be way overloaded. And what you let in is really determined by your questions. And so I started asking questions about pug dogs.

I started seeing pug dogs everywhere. And so going back to the power of questions, it's kind of like your mind has an algorithm like Instagram. If you go through Instagram or Facebook and you like all of the cat posts, then Instagram is going to show you because the algorithm more cats, right? And that's also my concern with people indulging and overindulging maybe in the news. Because I'm not saying don't know what's going on. I think it's intelligent to gauge what's going on in the world.

But some people could say, and they'll even say this themselves, they're guilty of it, maybe they're spending way too many hours in the day doing that, and it's not leading to something, you know, that they want to be able to create. Because chronic stress shrinks your brain and chronic fear actually suppresses your immune system, makes you more susceptible to colds or viruses, you know, flus and such. It's an area of science called psycho-neuroimmunology. I used to think that was total BS, by the way, and it turns out to be true. Like, those people that always think they're sick, they actually, some people have, you know, issues where they believe that, you know, the hypochondria, but some people actually think themselves into such a state of stress that they get sick far more than everyone else.

It's amazing and it sucks for them, obviously. And it applies even for, you know, having a commentary on, like, people, some people are so rigid with their diet, for example, and there's no judgment. It's just they're so obsessed with it and they're so stressed and there's so stressed and there's so much. much anxiety that it kind of negates all the benefits of eating all those vegetables. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, going back to what we're talking about here is your mind has that algorithm. So if you just, if you focus on everything that's dark, it starts showing you more of that in your newsfeed, in your mental newsfeed. And then you don't shine a light on what's possible. Or you might not be shining a light and deleting opportunity or deleting things that you could be grateful for in that moment

because we don't have infinite conscious focus. So we're selecting. And so whatever we feed, we get more of. Whatever we engage with on social media, they give us more of. And same thing with what we put in our minds. And so going back to this, how to regain control more of your focus is the power of questions. And we have a dominant question, and we're not limited to one. But just thinking about these pugs, for example, if you had this dominant question of how do I make things

better. Like, for example, I have a friend who I took through a process in the book, and we found out her dominant question is, how do I get people to like me? Now, Jordan, you don't know how old she is, you don't know where she lives, you don't know her cultural ethical background, you don't know her career, but you probably know a little bit about her personality. If somebody's obsessed with answering the question, how do I get this person or how do I get people to like me? What's her life like? What's her personality like? Yeah, constantly insecure and evaluating others' perception of her. terrible. Yeah. And then some people take advantage of her. She's always people pleasing. She's a martyr. She's a sycophant. You know, her personality molds, depending on who she's spending time with. That's what she happens to like or dislike. And so you know all this about her. And you know one question that she asks. The cover quote for the book Limitless is from Will Smith. And I get to work with a lot of actors teaching them how to speed read scripts, remain focus on camera, be able to remember their lines faster and easier. And I remember we spent the entire day together in Toronto.

He was shooting at nighttime from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Everyone thinks that Hollywood is so glamorous. And I know you've had a lot of these guests on your show. A lot of times it's anything but it's just hurry up to wait. And you're waiting and you're waiting and you're waiting. And I remember we were shooting. It was like 2 o'clock, you know, at night, right? And it's in the middle of winter.

We're in Toronto. We're shooting outside. And earlier that day, we found out his dominant question. was how do I make this moment more magical? How do I make this moment more magical? And I was like, can we make it better? And he was like, yeah, how can I make this moment even more magical? And I was like, wow, because that presupposes it's ready magical.

And I was like, that's an interesting question. And then later that evening, you know, we're waiting and waiting and waiting. And we're freezing. And his family is there from West Philly, you know, the song. And we're just watching these little monitors waiting for the reset the set. And while there's a whole crew there that can tend to guess, he's the one that comes out with blankets. He's making hot chocolate and bringing it to everybody. He's cracking jokes.

He's telling stories. And I realized in that moment that he's living his dominant question. How do I make this moment even more magical? And so my question for everybody who's listening is, what do you think your dominant question is? because when you ask, it's going to change your mindset. When you ask, it changes your purpose or your reasons for doing something. And when you change your focus, it changes the way you feel. And when it changes your motivation, you do certain things that you wouldn't normally do.

And another question to ask everybody is, what do you think your partner's question is? And it would explain a lot of their behavior, because if you ask that question so many times, you're going to see pug dogs, pug dogs, pug dogs, pug dogs. As an example, growing up as a kid who was labeled the boy with a broken brain, for me, I was always like, why am I broken? You know, why am I not enough? And I would find evidence for it. Oh, it's because of this and this and this and this.

And that didn't help me in any way, shape, or form. Later on, I got sick and tired of asking that question similar to your journey. And I started asking a little bit of a better question, how do I fix this? You know, when you feel like you're broken, you're thinking, okay, how do I fix this? How do I fix this? And so those questions really lead our life. And one of the questions that would be supportive when you're going through challenges is asking a question like training yourself, where's the gift in this?

You know, when I had learning disabilities and I couldn't public speak, you know, I would think, where's the gift in this? And it's funny because I eventually came up with answers because now all I do is public speak on this thing called learning, right? You know this personally. I mean, I don't talk about it publicly, but for years, I have. had horrible, horrible sleep, horrible, horrible sleep. I didn't realize that for five years, I was sleeping about 90 minutes a night, maybe two hours. Wow. That's awful. And it wasn't even a solid 90 to

two hours. It was like interrupted, where I later got diagnosed for really severe sleep apnea. And when I had that sleep apnea, I realized the doctor said, no wonder you're not sleeping, you're not breathing 214 times a night. You stop breathing for at least 10 seconds. And it's like somebody 200 times a night is coming in and putting a pillow on your face because you have obstructive sleep apnea. And then so I had this very painful surgery. They called a U triple P. They cut out my tonsils, my uvola, my soft palate, and let more airflow come in.

But during that time of struggle with my sleep, I would always say, where's the gift in this? Because you have to find some kind of meaning. Otherwise, you're just going to be depressed all the time, right? And what the gift was is it forced me to come up with these distinctions that I'm I put in the book, it forced me to double down on all the things that I teach because I, how can you be productive? How can you perform unless you have better methods? It also gave me a deep appreciation for my own time, meaning when you are sleep deprived all the time you feel exhausted, you don't overcommit to things, meaning that I think a lot of people are burnt out because

they're saying yes way too much. You know, they're saying yes because they're afraid of losing opportunity or they have FOMO, right, this fear of missing out. And, their attention and their energy is so spread out. But for me, when you have feel like you have a limited amount of time, energy, emotion, temperament, you don't say yes a lot. So everything, even now, I still, now that I'm sleeping, I still stick with that. The gift is I, I have the ability to do what I do because I leaned into my skills that I teach. But also, I really treasure my time. I think part of self-care is remembering that when you say yes to somebody or something, you're not saying no to yourself. And a lot of people are just, they're not putting borders and boundaries

around the things that are important to them, the things that they really value. And so right now, like, I don't want to be anywhere else talking to anybody else. Like, I've been looking forward to this conversation and it was like a hell yes or a hell no kind of experience, not because I'm so enlightened. It's because I train myself because I have limited amount of energy, limited amount of time. And so you make wiser decisions. You only do the things that you feel you're completely aligned and integrated for. Jim, there are always so many practical takeaways from every episode that we do.

These worksheets are going to be packed full. There's stuff we didn't even get to that I'll probably throw in the worksheets as well. So thank you very much for coming on, and I really appreciate it. I hope your book launch goes smoothly, although we talked about that pre-show. It's a little tough right now in isolation.

And stay safe and stay sanitized, and we'll talk soon. Jordan, it's been a real pleasure, and I'm really excited about this limitless. My message for everybody here is we're grossly underestimating our own ability. And if you feel like you're being held back, you know, most people could find the book right now, obviously online where books are sold. And we did something very special for the book where we, I want this to be the most read book, not the most bought book, but I want people as a reading teacher to read it. So when people go to limitless book.com, we created a speed reading memory course there that we gift to every single person as a thank you because I want you.

It's kind of like for people like audiobooks and videos. This is like a book summary, if you will, that will inspire you and give you tools to be able to read. the book. And we're donating 100% of the proceeds to build schools. We've built schools everywhere from Guatemala to Kenya and also donating the rest to Alzheimer's research and memory of my grandmother. And I challenge everybody actually to take one step is to take a screenshot of this episode, tag Jordan and tag myself and share your big aha. Because when you teach something, you get to learn it twice. And if there was one takeaway or one thing you're going to commit to, that's a small, simple step, as we talked about,

to share it on social media. I'll repost some of my favorites on Twitter and Instagram and so on, and I'll actually gift a free copy of the book to somebody as well. Perfect. Jim, again, thank you very much. Always a pleasure. Hope to see you in person at some point when the cloud clears here. Appreciate you. Big thank you to Jim Quick.

The book title is Limitless. A link to the book and the rest of Jim's stuff will be in our website in the show notes. If you do buy the book, please do use our website links. It does help support the show. Also in the show notes, there are worksheets for each episode, especially here with Jim. There's always a lot of practicals. You can review what you've learned here.

Those are on the website, and we've got transcripts for each episode, and those can be found in the show notes as well. I'm teaching you how to connect with great people and manage relationships using systems and tiny habits over at our six-minute networking course, which is free over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. The number one mistake I see people make

is putting this off and not digging the well before they get thirsty. Build your network before you need it, even if it means starting from what you think is from scratch. These drills take just a few minutes a day. I wish I knew this stuff 20 years ago. You can find it all for free at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. As I mentioned before, most of the guests on the show subscribe to the course and newsletter, so come join us and you'll be in smart company. In fact, why not reach out to Jim Quick and tell them you enjoyed this episode of the show? Show guests love hearing from you. You never know what might shake out of that. Speaking of building relationships, I'm on social media at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram.

This show's created an association with podcast one, and this episode was produced by Jen Harbinger and Jason DePhilippo, engineered by Jace Sanderson. Show notes and worksheets by Robert Fogarty, music by Evan Viola. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. Our advice and opinions and those of our guests are their own, and I'm a lawyer, but not your lawyer.

So do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. And remember, we rise by lifting others. The fee for the show is that you share it with friends, you find something useful or interesting, if you know somebody who has trouble staying motivated, or if you know somebody that thinks that motivation is the only thing they need and they're struggling with it, they're watching stupid Instagram memes all the time. Share this episode with them. This might be the missing piece, or at least the pieces of the limitless model might be the missing pieces. Hopefully you find something great in every episode that we do, so please do share the

show with the people you love. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on this show so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time. is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know podcast. Finding a new great podcast shouldn't be this hard, so let me save you some time. If you like the Jordan Harbinger show, you'll probably like something you should know with Mike Carruthers. It's one of those shows that makes you smarter in a practical, useful way. Same curiosity vibe we go for here, just in a fast-focused format. Mike brings on top experts and asks the exact questions that you'd want to ask,

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