The Jordan Harbinger Show - 508: Shaking an Unsuitable Stalking Suitor | Feedback Friday

Episode Date: May 14, 2021

Your sister's (now former) boyfriend might be a legitimate psychopath, but he's definitely a stalker who's threatened her for breaking up with him after she discovered his unfaithfulness. How can she best protect herself from his deranged promises to ruin her life? We'll look for the best answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/508 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: How can your sister best protect herself from a stalker ex-boyfriend's deranged threats to ruin her life? [Thanks to George Grant and Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] What are the pros and cons of working with your significant other? How can your friend protect her job and sanity against harassment from a senior co-worker? [Thanks to Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] Your rental property has neighbors who are a nuisance to your tenants. You're losing money because your tenants don’t want the hassle of the weekend parties, and you're not on premises to document the neighbors' transgressions. What can you do? [Thanks to Brandon Turner for help with this one!] Even though there seems to finally be light at the end of the tunnel, what's the best way to network during the COVID-19 pandemic? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [e-mail]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. Today I'm here with my Feedback Friday producer, my accomplice and solace, Gabriel Mizrahi. On the Jordan Harbinger show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills are the world's most fascinating people most fascinating people. And our mission is to help you become a better, informed, more critical think, so you can get a much deeper understanding of how the world works and make sense of what's really. And our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker, so you can get a much deeper understanding of how the world works and make sense of what's really happening, even inside your own mind. If you're new to the show on Fridays, we give advice, we answer listener questions. The rest of the week, we have long-form interviews and conversations with a variety of amazing folks, from spies to CEOs, athletes, authors, thinkers, and performers. And if you're joining us for the first time, check out Jordan Harbinger.com slash start. We've got some starter packs, which are collections of favorite episodes organized by popular topic to help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on the show. Jordan Harbinger.com slash start. This week on the show, we had Tim Grover. This guy is next level. He was a trainer or is a

trainer to the great. Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant. I mean, this is the guy that they call when no other trainer will get them to the next level and keep them there. So the intensity is really something else. You get a peek inside at what these guys have to do to stay at the top level. Very popular episode. He's been on the show before. It's just great amounts of feedback from all else. We had him back with his new book. We also had Robert Chaldingy this week, another absolute powerhouse. This guy is the OG. He wrote the original book on influence. So this is anything you've heard, like Law of Reciprocity or Persuasion, Pre-Suasion, this is the guy who originated the concepts, wrote about the concept. So all this stuff we kind of take for granted now in the social

psychology space that we think, like, oh, I've heard of this. This is the guy who pioneered all of that. He's got a new edition of his book. We go over a lot of it here on the show this week. So really great stuff for you this week. Go back and check those out if you haven't yet. I also write every so often on our blog, and the latest post is called The Right Way to Get Your Foot in the Door. I really enjoyed writing this one. In this piece, I talk about the most common mistakes

that employees, freelancers, vendors, really anybody trying to pitch themselves, the most common mistakes that they make when they talk to prospective employers, how to approach these conversations in a way that dramatically increases your chances of actually securing a job or a piece of business. It's all about how to figure out what somebody needs

before you try to sell them on what you want. And this is gold for anyone trying to create a job for themselves or make it as a freelancer or just increase their earnings in general. As you can imagine, I get pitched every day multiple times for multiple things. Some emails get deleted immediately. Other stuff gets entertained and other people get hired.

So that's a post you're going to want to read if you're interested in any of that. That's at Jordan Harbinger.com slash, articles. Make sure you've had a look and listen to everything we created for you here this week. By the way, if you want to get some advice from us here on the show, you can reach us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. Please keep your emails concise. Try to use a descriptive subject line. That makes our job a whole lot easier. And if you can, include the state and country that you live in, that helps us give you even more detailed advice. So if there's something you're going

through, any big decision you're wrestling with, or you just need a new perspective on stuff, life, love, work, how to move on if you've seriously hurt people in the past, whatever's got you staying up at night lately, hit us up Friday at jordanharbinger.com. We're here to help and we keep every email anonymous. All right, Gabe, what's the first thing out of the mailback? Hey, Jordan and Gabe. My sister recently caught her boyfriend cheating on her. In response to her catching him, he beat her up. Thankfully, not too severely. She called the police and filed the proper paperwork to ensure that he cannot come near her legally again. But in typical psychopath fashion, this guy has made threats to her saying that he will, quote, make sure your car will never run again, unquote, and that she will, quote,

regret fucking with me. Scary, dude. And how he is going to use his current medical problems as false evidence to make her seem like the bad guy. He even told the police that she attacked him first, which was a total lie. She came to me asking for advice to A, ensure that he does not do anything to her property, and if he does, that there's a way he can be held responsible, and B, to make sure that he does not do anything to her ever again. Do you guys have any options for her to better protect herself?

My sister has always been there to protect me, and I'd really like to be able to help her now. Thanks, team, nothing but love. Signed, the Sentinel Sibley. This is terrifying, man. People, it scares me that people like this are just out there and you think, like, oh, they're going to be fun to date. And then they just turn out to be nightmarish people that try and make your life a living hell. So it's really scary.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm really sorry that your sister's in this situation. I can only imagine how traumatizing having an ex like this must be. but I am glad that she took out a restraining order. That's actually a really important step that a lot of people, they don't do, they don't want to bother with it, they think it's too complicated or that it's going to be expensive. I think it's great she has you watching her back right now. You sound like a solid brother, man. Good for you. So look, if we've learned anything about psychopaths here on the show through our numerous episodes about this topic, it's at the best thing that you can do is just get as far away from these people

as possible. You don't fight back. You don't try to placate or appease them. You don't try to placate or appease them. to reason with them, you just put as much freaking distance between you and them as humanly possible. So if your sister hasn't already done this, I would cut all contact with this guy immediately, block him everywhere. And I know you're probably thinking, oh, well, if he can't text or call her, he's just going to show up. Look, maybe he will, but he might not, slash probably won't. In most cases, it's these interactions, just the tacit validation of responding to a dangerous personality, that's what gives these people fuel. Deprive them of oxygen and you deprive them of a major source of gratification and opportunity to continue their harassment. My second piece of advice for your

sister, surprise, surprise, document, everything. I think we should just rename this show document, document, document, because I say that in every freaking feedback Friday, but it's true. Catchy title. Yeah, it's really, it rolls right off the time. Tell your sister to write down all of her interactions with this guy, including his attempts to reach out. Like, called me, blocked his number, tried calling me again, got miss calls, got texts from anonymous number that are probably him because he mentions this. You know, write all of that stuff down, take screenshots, write down the phone numbers, the dates, the times, the content of the messages. Like I said, screenshots of the texts, any DMs, any posts, especially if they're threatening,

but even if they're not, a lot of people make the mistake of only documenting things where the guy says, you know, I'm going to screw up your car, and then they don't document the other texts. And the problem is that might then look like you're hiding, you talking with him. But if you can show you're not talking with him and he every day 15 times is sending you some crazy crap, it really paints a picture of how insane slash dangerous this guy is. And if it's possible and if it's legal in her state, she'll have to check. You check wiretapping laws. I would also try to record any conversations that she has with this guy outside of what she

manages to block. So if she has tape of this guy threatening her on the phone, or in front of her house yelling and screaming, kind of the, what's that, kind of like the evil version of high fidelity? Is that the movie where Cusacks outside with the boombox? No, that's say anything, but it's, yeah, it's the same actor. Yeah, same actor, whatever, I can't remember.

But yeah, the boombox. Look, that kind of recording, video or audio, that can be enough for law enforcement to, A, take her reports more seriously. B, discount any claim he makes that she's the aggressor here. Because it's going to be real hard for him to go, yeah, she attacked me. What were you doing standing on a lawn? I wasn't. Oh, cool. Well, we have audio of you doing that exact thing. And it's GPS tagged, you know, because she recorded a GPS

tagged video on her phone, whatever it is. In terms of physical security, I would definitely get some cameras, install them around her property. You can get those cheap Wi-Fi cameras. Those are fine. Obviously, wired or better, but they're more expensive and more of a to do to install. He might tear him down, but then that's caught on camera too if they're recording to the cloud. And as a backup, Here's something that I personally thought was kind of clever. Is it backup, I might also ask her neighbors if you can add cameras to their houses facing your sister's house.

Now, that's a weird request, but I think if neighbors kind of know what's going on, they might be more apt to do that. A lot of criminals, they think they're pretty clever, cutting off camera feeds, or they bring a Wi-Fi blocker, they got off eBay, but they almost never think about whether a neighbor has cameras facing the other house, right?

Mostly you're monitoring your own house. rarely does your neighbor have cameras pointing across the street at your house. And alerting your neighbors that she has a dangerous ex, this is important too. I've realized, man, the conversation's, it's embarrassing, you know, so I dated a psycho, he beat me up, I've got a restraining order, he says he's going to come back and hurt me. Can you keep an eye out? You know, that's not something anybody wants to do, but it's more awkward to be dead or seriously injured or have other problems because you have a psycho on your tail,

not trying to scare you, but, you know, just being real. If she were ever in a dangerous position and couldn't get to a phone or she didn't notice this guy sneaking onto her property in the first place, I hope that never happens, but you really do have to plan for these crazy things. The neighbors could be on the lookout and call the police for her. And that's key. It could save her life. Look, if I saw somebody climbing the fence of my neighbor's house, I might think, huh, that's weird. But, you know, they have kids. It's probably no big deal.

But if that neighbor said, by the way, some crazy person's been bothering us and I said someone climb the fence, I would, immediately dial 911. Or if someone's looking at the car in the driveway, I'd probably think, oh, that's kind of weird. I don't recognize that person, but I wouldn't do anything. But if they said, look, someone's been threatening us, and then I see somebody checking out their car in the driveway, I'm calling the cops.

So this is key. This could save her life. Another solution I highly recommend, look into getting simply safe for your sister. I know this is a shameless plug on my part, but they really are a top-notch home security company. I'm a huge fan of their glass brake sensors and cameras. Plus, what I like about it is they use a cellular connection

to call the police. So if your Wi-Fi goes down, not the end of the world, your landline goes down. I think that the monitoring, it just includes the cell phone. You don't have to get like a cell phone plan. It's clutch. Go to simplysafe.com slash Jordan for the discount. Again, I feel awkward plugging that. It's going to be linked in the show notes. But if there's ever an appropriate time to link psychopath stalker X's with one of our show's sponsors, this is definitely it. Also, you could you could just tase his ass too. Taser.com promo code Jordan for 15% off. No. I mean, honestly, I started that as a joke, but not that we're trying to capitalize on your unfortunate situation here, I guess now I'm just realizing how many anti-stalker sponsors we have here on the show.

Taser.com promo code Jordan for 15% off. By the way, I take all of these measures in my own life as well, including with my social media, not just because I have a stalker. Well, I'm not even famous enough for a stalker, but because one time, right, I used four square one time a decade ago. and somebody showed up to where I was, and it was so creepy. I think I told this. Oh, no way. Did that really happen? Maybe I haven't told this on the show.

I installed the app, and I was like, oh, cool, you check in and you can get, like, discounts. And I was in New York. I think New York was kind of a hot spot for Four Square. And I was in, like, a tech circle. So I installed it. I checked into some bar. I can't remember what it was.

And a guy showed up, and he wasn't weird at all. Like, he was a pretty normal guy, a guy that I'd met before as well. And I go, how did you know that we're here? And he goes, oh, four square. And I was like, you know, you can join us, of course, you know, no problem. But then I thought, wow, I got like a very solid first education as to not having any privacy. And it's like, okay, that guy found out where we were, no problem, join us for a drink. But if you have a stalker, PsychoX, or if you just are any sort of

public figure or a single female, you just might not want to tell people where you're going to be for the next three hours beforehand. It's just not a good look. Good call. Good call. So that's my high level advice. We wanted to get deeper here. So we consulted with George Grant. He's an executive security manager at a Fortune 40 company that you've all heard of. He's also a friend of the show. George has run personal protection for high net worth families, so he really knows his stuff when it comes to security. And when I say this, I mean, he's protected people that you and I read about in the news like every day, minimum once a week. So George offered a few other amazing pieces of advice. First, he recommends that your sister vary her routine as much as

as possible, especially from what her ex-boyfriend knows about her. Her goal right now is to evade his ability or destroy damage his ability to know where she will be and when. Hence the four square thing. So George calls that your time and place predictability. What she'll avoid is unwanted contact when she's out around town or his ability to go to her home when she is not there. George also recommends limiting social media posts for a little while, posting about the events hours after the fact, kind of like we talked about, you know, don't post before, post after. You don't want him to be able to track her in real time, like the four square incidents. Also, maybe don't let people know that you go to yoga every Friday, even if you're doing

so kind of on social media by accident. I would probably even delete all those apps for a little while. Just make your accounts totally private. Make sure you don't have location sharing on on Google. Make sure he didn't turn that stuff on on different apps while you weren't looking at your phone you know, three, six months ago. Make sure she's not accepting any random friend requests. All that stuff is always helpful because a lot of stalkers will just make a fake profile.

I'm like, yeah, I'm friends with your cousin. Oh, cool, whatever. And it's them, you know, just trying to monitor your stuff. On the physical security front, double check that all of her windows can't be easily opened, especially and obviously from the outside. Lock them. You know, Gabriel, did you have to do this in Michigan? We used to have to put like a broomstick that we sought off inside some of these slider windows.

Yep, totally. So George also recommends getting a system like Simplice Safe, so he brought them up to it's not just being, it's not just me being a shameless self-remoder here. He would definitely include that glass sensor feature because if he can't slide the window open, he's just going to break it. Now, if this guy ever does make contact

and you and your sister need to call the police, George recommends doing so without warning or threatening him. Warnings, they cost valuable time. That's all they do, really. In the event that he calls or shows up, Tell your sister to be clear and concise. Let him know that she does not want him to contact her again and then end the call. Don't hang up abruptly or, you know, FU and drop the handle down.

That could just antagonize him. Definitely, though, do not invite any additional conversation. And George also recommends trying not to be alone too much unnecessarily. I know that's hard, but if she ever needs to, your sister should walk home or to her car with a friend or a colleague. She should also try to work midday shifts, not open shifts early in the morning or closed shifts late at night. The reason being that you are the most vulnerable

when you first arrive at a place or just before you depart. That's good advice for everyone here, whether you got a stalker or not. Another smart policy, George recommended, establish a check-in window with a close friend. So let's say maybe you and your sister have a system where your text will be returned

or thumbs-uped or whatever within 30 minutes, just so you know she's okay. All things considered, George told us that most abusive partners, they tend to attack the lowest hanging fruit. They'll use the spare key under the mat that you think he doesn't know about, or they'll meet you at the daycare pickup when you're going to get your kid because he knows that's where you're going to be and when you're going to be there. Or he'll run into you at the Froyo shop you just checked into on freaking Facebook or Yelp. If you're a harder target, their fixation typically dies off pretty fast,

which is really encouraging news. And I know we've seen a lot of movies where you just can't shake someone. psychopaths and really aggressive stalkers and dangerous personalities, they get excitement from the chase. And if you make that really hard, they actually don't really want to do a lot of work. They want to scare you. They don't really want to bust their ass to do it, you know? It just gets too difficult.

Great advice from George all around. We also wanted to get a legal perspective on your sister situation. So we chat with, you know who it is, Corbin Payne, top-notch defense attorney and friend of the show. And Corbin, he seconded everything Jordan just said. He also pointed out that if your sister has a restraining, order against this guy, or if she actually brought criminal charges of domestic assault against him already, then he'll have a bond condition that says that he cannot contact her, he cannot be around

her. So if either of those two things is in place, he's already probably violated them. And that right there, that is grounds for immediate arrest and maybe even new charges. So Corbyn's advice, unsurprisingly, is this. If your sister's ex ever makes any contact whatsoever, call the police ASAP. Obviously, that's the best thing to do. It's best if these interactions are documented, but they don't have to be. When she calls them, she should just tell them about any restraining orders or any bond conditions, and she should specifically, and of course truthfully, I mean, she shouldn't make this up. But if this is the case, she should say that she is scared and that she believes this guy's threats. Corbyn's last piece of advice, get a physical copy of that restraining order or that bond

condition paperwork. Your sister can get that either from the clerk's office for that court or from the prosecutor's office, if it's a bond condition, leave a copy with all the law enforcement agencies in your sister's town or county. Corbyn also recommends leaving a copy with the County 911 Dispatch Center. I thought that was very clever that way. If there's any reason to call the police on this guy in the future, you would be dealing with an officer who can very quickly realize that this guy is in clear violation of a court order

and subject to arrest pretty much on the spot. Doing that would also show the police that your sister is more on the ball about this than probably 98% of people who file assault charges, and it will underscore to them how serious she is about this guy's threat to her safety. Yeah, that all makes sense. I know it's a lot of legwork, but in a situation like this,

it's 100% worthwhile. And I'm really sorry to hear your sister's going through this man. It's disturbing, you know, for both of you, I'm sure, but you sound like really great siblings. You're lucky to have each other. Take care of her. Take care of yourself. Follow all this advice, if you can.

And I think your sister's going to sleep a little more soundly at night. We hope that just in another month, this guy just gets frustrated and annoyed or gets himself into even deeper trouble and that he just goes away. Crossing our fingers here for that. Good luck. You're listening to Feedback Friday here on the Jordan Harbinger Show. We'll be right back. And now, back to Feedback Friday on the Jordan Harbinger Show. All right, what's next? Hey, Jordan and Gabe. I've been an artist for 10 years now, and my fiancé is now quitting her job to be a full-time artist too. I'm introducing her to galleries, helping her avoid mistakes.

that I made and generally helping to optimize her learning curve. However, many of my friends, both married and divorced, are advising me not to work with her, saying that it will destroy the romance, we'll always talk about work instead of being in the moment together, stuff like that. I'm optimistic as we've spent a lot of time building her business model and have strong communication, but I'd like to be prepared for any challenges. Seeing as Jordan works with Jen, I thought you might have some advice on how to work together while protecting our spark. I love my fiancee very much, and I don't want to be caught between our relationship and her dream. Signed, Survive, the weather of working together.

That is a great question. When Jen and I started working together years ago, a lot of people told us the same thing. Oh, working together is a huge mistake. It's going to ruin your relationship. But it actually turned out not to be the case at all. In fact, it was very much the opposite. But it is true. Working from home with your partner in close quarters, I think it can get a little tricky

sometimes. I think a lot of times also if you hire somebody in your family that isn't your significant other, it can cause a lot of problems. and so people tend to impute those same difficulties onto working with your significant other. Like, oh, I hired my sister-in-law, and she was a nightmare, and I couldn't fire her because she's family. That's not necessarily going to be the same case with your significant other, with whom you have better communication. The other good news here is that it's not like you're working directly together or in a situation where one of you is the boss, the superior. You're just two freelance artists working side by side at home.

And there might be some hiccups here and there, but I doubt this setup is going to create any sort of minefield of issues for you guys. So first of all, you're right. Good communication is everything. Because there's going to be times when you guys disagree or you get on each other's nerves or you stumble into some conflict. And if you have the tools to talk it out, listen, understand where the other person is coming from, resolve whatever's going on, then you guys are going to be fine, maybe stronger even. The goal here isn't to never fight. The goal is to fight consciously and productively. And maybe that's something you guys can talk about together in advance, what steps to follow if either of you gets worked up or hits a wall,

but honestly, I'm not too worried about this piece. It sounds like you guys are pretty in sync. On a more practical level, Jen and I have definitely learned some great lessons by working together. For one thing, I certainly think it's important for each of you to have good boundaries around your work, and that could show up in a few ways. For example, if your wife is the kind of artist who works around the clock and you're more of a nine to five guy and you just work with a few breaks in between, that could create some friction. So I would pay attention to the way your schedules affect each other. You might want to be able to say, hey, honey, I'm putting down the brush now. I'm going to make dinner, reset my brain, no more painting for me today. I don't want to think about it anymore.

And then not feel guilty or lazy if you don't keep working or if you don't pitch in while your wife keeps going. And that is super important when one person in a couple is a workaholic or keeps different hours. It's also important for both of you to protect the time you need to protect. If you want to carve out time for yourself in the morning to exercise or block out time in the evening to just watch TV or Netflix or whatever, know that it's okay to do that and it's okay for your wife to do the same. Just because you're both artists working from home doesn't mean you have to work in the exact same way. Now, for me, I work all day, often into the evening. Jen knows not to bug me with random tasks at 8 p.m. just because she happens to have time after Jaden is asleep or whatever, I get

irrationally frustrated if I finish work at 7.30 or 8 p.m. I turn on the TV and then at 930 Jen's like, hey, can you look at the spreadsheet and see it just make, it's sort of, I just get crazy annoyed because I've got like one to two hours per day where I can watch a documentary or something and somebody takes me out of relax mode to ask me something work related that could have been asked in the previous 14 freaking hours. That just adds up. And those grievance can really take a toll. So you have to be clear about this type of stuff before somebody gets stabbed for leaving the cap off the toothpaste or whatever. You got to handle these little things, so they will add up. Because normally if you have little issues at work, you leave the office,

you come home, they're gone. If you're working from home and everybody that you work with is in your apartment and they're also your significant other, it's harder to leave stuff behind. Right. You have to compartmentalize better, you know? Yeah, man, I'm taking notes here for when there's somebody else in my apartment while I'm sitting on my computer mumbling dialogue to myself. It's so much easier when you work alone. You don't have to think about any of this stuff. Well, look, my only other advice is this. Since both of you guys are now full-time artists, I would be prepared for the emotional aspect of this career. Because as I'm sure you guys know, being an artist, super volatile, right? Some months you're in flow and you're crushing it and

you're on top of the world. In other months, you're just totally lost and you're struggling and you're hating it and you're wondering why you didn't, you know, go to business school. Sorry, getting a little personal. Yeah. Those, uh, dokey. Those cycles, they can last for years in some cases. You know, maybe your wife's career takes off and yours limps along for a little while or maybe you have a great run and hers tanks for a few months. That happens. You and your wife's wins, they might not always line up perfectly. In fact, in all likelihood, they probably won't always line up perfectly. And that can put a strain on even the best relationships. So I would just be aware. of that going in. Maybe you guys can talk about how you plan to write out those inevitable

ups and downs, how you want to take care of each other when one or both of you starts to struggle a little bit. And that's another boundary that'll be really important for you guys to keep an eye on, you know, not taking on too much of each other's stress or anxiety or depression when one of you hits a rough patch or letting the other person's success infect your feelings about your own work. That can happen too. It goes both ways. Yeah, good one, Gabe. I have to think this applies to entrepreneur couples too or couples who work in the same industry or the same job, really anyone who's doing something similar to their partner, especially during the Pan-D when everyone's on top of each other, that's when you really start comparing yourself to the person who's sitting next to you

all day. And that can get really, really tricky. Oh yeah, definitely, because art, entrepreneurship, owning your own business, these careers can be brutal sometimes. And then you see somebody crush their sales for a month and you go, what's wrong with me? Like, what am I missing? Like, am I doing something wrong just because the person happens to be having an upbuth. Yeah, like I'm, I was happy with me being slightly above you in terms of success and productivity. Like, what are you doing? You're upending the, you're upending the natural order of things. I mean, how we feel about our work, that can shift on a dime if you're looking around trying to compare yourself to the nearest person. But it's even more turbulent when the person we're comparing ourselves to is sitting right there in the same room.

Plus, we live with them. Plus, we love them. Plus, their opinion really matters to us. So, yeah, complicated. Yeah, super complicated. That's why the communication aspect is so crucial, because if this guy's wife starts killing it on Etsy or whatever, and he starts, by the way, did you see, they had like a $10 billion year. But anyway, that's neither here nor there. She starts killing it on Etsy and he starts feeling envious or competitive or insecure. Fine. That is normal. That is okay. But they then have to be able to talk about it. And that goes for the small stuff too, the petty stuff, you know, like the music they listen to while they work, her annoying-ass ringtone that goes off all the time or the phone's not on silent or the way he

talks to himself while he works. All these weird things you discover about somebody when you start working with them, you almost have to go overboard in communicating, so no resentment builds up. Maybe you guys block out 20 minutes at the end of every day for the first couple months, give that stuff some air time, make sure nothing gets swept under the rug. And you guys will then figure out what level of communication you need. You might fall into a naturally really good rhythm and only need to have a meeting about the home office stuff over dinner once a week.

Who knows? Also, honest suggestion, get yourself some AirPods, get each other some AirPods, the pro one, so you can't hear her hum to her music and she can't hear your annoying ass mouth noises. I'm serious. Those noise cancelling headphones will pay for themselves just with that. But honestly, I think you guys got this. You sound like a very supportive husband. She sounds like a very open person.

I love that you're looking out for her and for the health of your relationship, your marriage. I think you guys are going to be great. Just know that there will be bumps in the road and it's all. good as long as you have a way to work them out together before somebody gets stabbed for leaving the cap off the toothpaste. All right. What's next? Hello, Jordan and Gabe. My friend works as a waitress for a major hotel chain in Florida. And recently, she's become a victim of sexual harassment in the workplace. She's new at this bar and a senior male bartender has made multiple advances on her, including gross, suggestive comments and unwanted touching. The other employees,

they see this behavior, but nobody does anything about it. When she raised her concerns to management, she was quickly dismissed for being disruptive and, quote-unquote, causing trouble. She was even threatened by a fellow coworker who said, quote, this won't end well for her, unquote, if she continues to complain. Her managers don't want to admit that there's any inappropriate behavior going on, so she went to HR, but they just told her that an investigation is taking place in the background, and that they can't tell her anything more. Meanwhile, nothing's being done about this guy who harassed her. Worse, she's now being retaliated against by the managers. She's been taken off bartending shifts, where she made good money and reallocated to server shifts on the floor where she'll make less money.

And her fellow co-workers, they continue to bully her, refusing to work with her during busy shifts, cat-calling her and taunting her about snitching. There's at least one other female bartender who's made a similar complaint about the same guy, and all the manager did was put her on a different shift. Several other female employees admit that they don't like this particular guy's touching and flirting, but they won't say anything to management for fear of getting taken off of the good shifts too. My friend is super distraught. she's worked for this hotel chain for over seven years with an impeccable record.

She really needs the money, and now I'm afraid for her mental and physical health. She did speak to one lawyer who told her that this kind of retaliation is difficult to prove, and unless the sexual harassment continues on a daily basis, she doesn't have a case. So what should she do? Signed, taken down the creep, making that sex on the beach. You know, whenever I get questions like this, I just can't believe that this stuff actually happens. Don't get me wrong. I 100% believe it, but it's just, it's so.

corny, Gabriel. It's so freaking corny. Like, I thought by now people were wise to the fact that you can get your ass suit into oblivion for this sort of thing and also that it's just gross and pathetic. But I guess some folks are just slow on the uptake. They haven't been watching the news or something. I'm just, I'm a little shocked. Or Florida, maybe? Yeah. Sorry, Florida. Help explain it. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. Sorry, Florida. I wasn't going to say anything. You know, we got plenty of listeners in Florida that are nice, normal people. Let's not, let's not, let's not be too rude about it. But I am a little shocked that a major hotel chain in this day and age is being so cavalier about a complaint like this. And I get when a small business doesn't take a harassment claim seriously.

There's no chain of command. There's no HR. People can get away with a lot more bullshit. But this is happening at like a damn Hyatt or whatever. Ridiculous. I hope this is taking a long time because they're a big bureaucratic company and they move slowly. But still, the retaliation, the lack of support, the indifference is just unconscionable, in my opinion. And by, by, by, the way, I do not know that it's Hyatt. I just picked a random hotel chain. I probably should not have done that. Sorry, Hyatt. Sorry to Hyatt, who will never be sponsoring this show probably ever. That's all right. I'm more of a Hilton guy. So you guys already know what I'm about to say. This is a legal question. I'm a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. So once again, we consulted

with the one and only Corbyn Payne, criminal defense lawyer extraordinaire. Corbyn's high level opinion is that, yes, a case like this is, in fact, hard to prove. But that doesn't mean your friend doesn't have any hope. At this point, Corbyn's advice is to go over the local HR people's heads and take it straight to corporate. Based on what you've shared, it really does sound like nothing is being done here. And yes, that absolutely carries potential consequences as your friend is finding out. The question is, are consequences worse than the consequences of not taking further action? I know it's kind of traumatizing to show up to a workplace full of people who either actively hurt you or just low-key resent you. But that's happening anyway. That ship has sailed. So I'm

I'm with Corbin here. Time to escalate. So how do you do that? Well, first, Corbyn recommends trying to gather some hard evidence. Check your state's recording laws. If she's in what's called a one-party state, and again, these are sort of like wiretapping laws and recording laws that either one party or both parties needs to be notified. One-party state, it's good as long as somebody in the conversation knows they're being recorded. She could consider carrying a recorder, even a phone app. Just record this gross bartender coming on to her. And then when she reports it to the manager, her manager's rebuffing her request to protect her. And then maybe even her co-workers bullying her.

Depending on how noisy the bar is and how close you can get to these people and all that, yeah, maybe that's not possible, but maybe you do it before open or at close. It's definitely worth considering. Then you got some solid evidence. Something else your friend can do is contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the EEOC. File a complaint. Now, they might not be able to prove misconduct on the part of your friend's harass her,

but they can go after her employer for failing to investigate her complaints and protect her. We'll include links to the EEOC sexual harassment page and discrimination charge process in the show notes. And I recommend that your friend move quickly on this because she only has 180 days after an incident to file a charge. That might sound like a long time, but, you know, time flies when you're dealing with crap like this and maybe you just don't want to do anything for the first few weeks or months. The limitation on this can be extended by state laws in some cases, but, you know, why deal with that? Just get it done. When she files, she should absolutely specify how her complaints resulted in her being moved to a worse shift, and that caused economic damage to her, right? She's making less money. That should get their attention. The EEOC doesn't expect employers to fire someone merely upon the accusation of misconduct and good, right?

I mean, otherwise, you could get anybody fired just by making a claim. But it does expect employers to investigate credible. accusations and it damn sure expects employers not to engage in retaliatory behavior against the victims of harassment. Great advice, Jordan. If she's really not getting any traction here, she should be considering all of these other options. These all sounds super promising in her case. Corbin also pointed out that your friend has another avenue here, which is to enlist the help of all of these other colleagues you mentioned in your letter. I mean, how much easier would this be, Jordan, if her coworkers backed her up on these allegations and maybe even told their own stories about this creepy bartender? right and their fear of management getting retaliated against all of that. I'm not saying that she should

go full Jerry McGuire here and jump up on the bar at the Hyatt Resort and Spa or wherever this is happening and make it, you know, and make a big speech about right and wrong and the nature of evil or anything like that. We understand that these people have to feed themselves at the end of the day. I get it. But they're in a difficult power dynamic too, right, where their managers are abusive and won't do anything to stop this bartender. But I'm wondering if there's some way that your friend could talk to her coworkers privately, maybe, tell them what's been going on with her, maybe invite them to talk about their experiences, encourage them to stand up to these managers as well so you can all take away their power together. I know that's intimidating. I get it, but there's

real power in numbers. If we've learned anything over the last few years, it's that, right? And if you guys can all confront these managers and shame them a little bit about the way that they're behaving, they might be so humiliated slash terrified slash called out that they'll have to change their tune. And you know, Jordan, this actually reminds me of your interview with Sergei Popovich, where he talked about the psychology of activism, of nonviolent activism, and how revolutions and businesses, they actually have a lot in common. Your friend might actually want to give that episode to listen. That was episode 448, Serge's book, Blueprint for Revolution. Such a great book. I know that what your friend is going through isn't as oppressive as an

authoritarian dictatorship, but it's definitely some kind of unjust system. And she might find some great methods in there for taking it down in a clever way, in a peaceful way. Yeah, that book is interesting. Serja was on the show, as you mentioned, episode 448. and they talk about like they couldn't really do anything against Slobodan Milosevic because he had all the military and police. So they basically just clowned him until people started to realize that they could do something. They got empowered through that. Now, I don't know how you apply that to a sexual harassment sort of case, but it does show you that people in power have vulnerabilities that you can exploit if you are not powerful in the same way. And I think that's a good connection.

Definitely recommend that one, especially for people who don't have a ton of resources to fight back. But Gabe, you know, I wonder if everyone at this bar is just like, uh, the last three servers, they just bang the bartender and they got it over with, why can't she just do that? You know, he's every, he's the boss's favorite, he makes a lot of money or whatever. Also, there's a chance that an employment attorney would take this type of case on contingency. She should consider that if she ends up leaving. They'll file a suit and they'll likely settle. They'll take 30, 40% of the settlement.

That's one of those you don't pay unless you win situations. if nothing else works, I'd seriously consider talking to an attorney, a contingency attorney. The facts here are pretty stark. And if none of these other options work, this is what litigation is for. And if she goes to an attorney, an employment lawyer, and says, I'm being sexually harassed at work. And then I got moved to a worse shift as retaliation. He's going to go, well, the trick is always to prove that it happened. And you go, bam, I've got tape of him hitting on me. I've got tape of me reporting it to my manager and him not giving a crap. And then I've got tape of my co-workers saying you're just causing trouble. That's good stuff. That doesn't mean it's going to hold up

in court. It doesn't have to. The boss, the employer, the chain's just going to go, here's a few grand for your lost wages and the fact that you got put on a worse shift. Just go away and don't tell anyone. That's what they like to do with this kind of thing. They have policies all about this. This is not their first rodeo if they're a major hotel chain. In a few months, if they're still not doing anything about this, then I would seriously consider finding a job at a different hotel. She doesn't have to stay in a toxic, abusive environment just to prove something. And she can always keep pushing for justice even after she leaves. She can still sue even if she gets a new job. She's entitled to recoup the money she lost by getting taken off Friday evening and put on, you know, Tuesday

breakfast or whatever. At a certain point, though, you have to protect your mental and physical health. So good luck. We're rooting for a really unfair crappy situation. This is the Jordan Harbinger show, and this is Feedback Friday. We'll be be right back. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps us going. Who doesn't love some good products and or services? You can always visit Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals for all the details on everybody that helps support the show. And now for the conclusion of Feedback Friday. All right, what's next? Hey guys, my only rental property has neighbors who are a nuisance to my tenants. I'm losing money because my tenants don't want the hassle of

their weekend parties. I feel like this would be fairly simple to deal with. via a local authority complaint, but the tenants don't want the bother, and with me not living on the property, I can't document the incidents as required. I cannot be the only person dealing with this problem. As my first rental property, it's really knocked my confidence in building a portfolio. What bothers me even more is that wherever I buy a property, this could happen again. It could happen to anyone, really. So how do I deal with this? Signed, an aspiring mogul feeling pretty woeful. Yeah, what a bummer. Annoying neighbors. Got to be up there with the worst, kind of most annoying things that you can't do much about.

Annoying neighbors getting in the way of your business. Even worse, super uncool. Might have to go a little gangster on them. Since I'm still a relatively new homeowner in this area, figuring out the whole real estate thing, I mean, I've owned my own home for a while, but I don't rent out properties. So I wanted to reach out to an expert.

I reached out to Brandon Turner, VP of Creative Content over at Bigger Pockets, host of the Bigger Pockets podcast, bestselling author. Wanted to get his take here. Brandon is an active real estate investor. he's been investing in real estate for a decade and a half, so he knows what he's talking about. Brandon's take was basically that there isn't a ton you can do here. People obviously have a right to party at their own house, but you do have some other options

at your disposal as well. So first off, if you're all a part of the same HOA, this is actually pretty easy. You can just complain to them, but I'm guessing that's not the case. Of course, you could always call the cops every time the neighbors throw a party and try and get them a noise complaint or two and that might shut them up. I know it's kind of a Karen move, but sometimes it really is appropriate. And if you do that enough times, maybe they'll learn to keep it quiet, just to keep the police off their back.

If the neighbor's house is a rental, you could contact their landlord and complain directly. Maybe just talk to them casually, you know, real estate owner to real estate owner. Hey, look, I don't mean to be difficult, but your tenants are becoming a real problem for me. They're messing with my business now. I'm guessing they're no picnic for you either. They're probably damaging the property if they're having these loud ragers. how can we work together to fix this? And then you can lean on them to lean on their tenants.

Maybe you can even encourage the owner to kick them out when the lease expires or something like that. If that fails, Brandon had another idea, and I got to say I kind of like this one. What if you tried to buy the neighbor's property? You could talk to the owner, see if they're interested in selling, or get them interested in selling,

and then just make an offer. And then you would be the landlord, and you can kick these crappy neighbors out and expand your real estate portfolio in one fell swoop. And then you'd be managing two properties right next to each other, which is always easier than having houses all over the place, which is kind of an exciting idea. Brandon also pointed out right now in most areas, there isn't enough housing. So tenants are having a hard time trying to find a place. So you could always just let your current tenants leave

and find new ones. Now that kind of sucks for them and for you, but you'll probably have no trouble finding somebody new. You could also disclose the neighbor issue to them to the new tenant in advance, but give them a slight discount on the rent for their trouble, you'd be surprised how much people can put up with, especially in a competitive market like we have today. So for what it's worth, Brandon said this is what he would probably do. And honestly, if it's that tough of a market and your current tenants are really pissed off and they're saying, we're going to leave, you can say, you know what, I've tried everything. I understand if you leave and they might go, oh, we're not really going to leave because we can't. And the market sucks. We just wanted you to try to get them to stop. And you

could say, look, I tried and there's nothing I can do. I talk to the landlord. Maybe you should go over there and knock on the door when they have parties or call the cops, manage it, handle it. You live there. If none of this works and you just want out, you're in luck. The real estate market is now at the highest point in human history. You could always sell, take the money, put it into something else, a new property, another asset class entirely, grab you some Bitcoin, grab you some doge coin. Depending on when you're listening to this, that's either a terrible idea or a good one. I take No responsibility for that. Yeah.

What a mess, though. Sucks. Bad neighbors. The worst. Solid advice all around. I love the idea of buying the neighbor's house. That is such a boss move. Yeah, that's some real slum lord shit right there, though.

Like, I'm just daydreaming about buying the house of somebody who annoys me and then knocking down their door and they're like, what do you want? And I'm like, yeah, I own the house. So you're all going to have to leave. I'm going to be doing some upgrades around here and the rent's going to go up. So ta-ta. And I'm pretty sure that that's that is illegal and not that simple, right? You have probably some renter's rights.

Like you can't just have them, send them packing upon signature, but I can dream. Yeah, you can dream, totally. As for the issue of fear, I hear you, I get it. But I wouldn't let this one experience shake your confidence or put you off of real estate completely. Brandon pointed out that this situation is actually not that common. It's not very normal. Most people, they're pretty quiet. But there are problems with every rental, no matter what.

That's why Brandon's company actually makes so much money because they solve problems for people in real estate. So as much as you can, I would try to look at this. as a learning experience. The next time you buy property, now you'll know to look around at the neighbors, you know, maybe knock on the door, say hi, see how's the neighborhood? How are you guys doing? You know, innocently just poking around to see if they're going to become a liability down the road and see what other issues they might cause and get out ahead of that problem. Brandon, he told us that he once had a property where the neighbors had dogs that barked constantly. And he just couldn't sell this house because of it. He said it really sucked, but he learned a great lesson. And now he

always checks for barking dogs before buying. And from Brandon's perspective, that's actually the beauty of building a real estate portfolio. Every single time you do it, you get a little bit better. You learn. It gets easier. 10 years from now, when you have 8 million bucks in net worth and 25 different properties, you're probably not going to be thinking about your first rental with the bad neighbors and the party every weekend. You're just going to be glad that the struggle made you better as you sit back on a beach somewhere accounting all your stacks. So try to look at it that way. Stay focused on the long game. I think that'll really work out well for you. Good luck. You know, I think I was talking to Brandon although now I can't remember who it was. And he says that before

he buys properties, he rents a like conversion van in the area or something and he parks it on the road and he will literally go there in the evening and just sleep there Friday night, Thursday night, maybe a Saturday night and just see like is this street full of ragers and drunks and people coming and going and yelling and screaming at 2.3 a.m. And if not, it's a good purchase. But he said he's saved himself some serious trouble. Again, I can't remember if this is Brandon or somebody else. he's caught some streets where the landlord, you know, the person selling the house is like, oh, it's great. Everyone, it's all families here.

And then he'll park there on a Friday night. And it's just like wall-to-wall kids, you know, throwing 40 ounces in the middle of the road and smashing them and fricking out of their second-story window into the pool, the kiddie pool that they've inflated on the front lawn. And that would be a nightmare scenario to end up getting stuck with a property like that. So a little bit of diligence goes a long way when it comes to these things. Sorry you're in this situation. All right. Last but not least. Hey Jordan and Gabe.

After procrastinating for a while, I started doing your networking course right before COVID-19 appeared. I put it on pause, though, not expecting the situation to escalate the way it has, and I haven't picked it up since. The truth is, I feel lost and a bit awkward about reaching out to people during the pandemic. What changes? What doesn't? I've had a few professional contacts reach out to me to check in informally during the pandemic, and it has impressed me, but I feel like I struggle to do the same.

How do I network during COVID? Signed, tormented about my lines. in these unprecedented times. You know, we've gotten this question a lot this past year. I can't tell you how many people have written me being like, I know I need to be on top of my relationships, but there's something about networking during the pandemic. It just feels so cringe.

And I know, I get it. There's less shared experience to bond over these days. You can't ask someone about their racquetball game or invite them to mimosa's or talk to them about your trip to Barcelona or whatever. So for the last year, we've basically been left with this super basic communication. How you feeling? How you coping? What are you doing to stay sane? That type of thing. And I think we can all agree that this past year, it's probably been the loneliest year of our lives for a lot of us. It's sad. It's creepy. It's boring. For some of us, it's been full of loss. The Pandy's been rough.

So on one hand, I totally get why it feels awkward to drop into somebody's DMs and be like, hey, buddy, how you doing? How's your dystopian virtual career going? Haven't left the house in 10 months? Cool. I look like Tom Hanks and castaway. Doing great. But on the other hand, knowing how starved we are for human connection right now, these kinds of check-ins, they're actually more important and more warranted than ever before. It's never been a better time to drop someone a line and say, hey, I know this message is a little random, but I'm sitting here in my apartment doing my third yoga with Adrian class of the day, trying to get through my eighth Zoom meeting, and you just popped into my mind. How you doing, bud? How are you holding up? By the way, Gabriel, do you know yoga with Adrian?

Yeah, I actually did one class with somebody recently. Of course you did. Of course you did. You know, this is like such a thing. It's huge. She's like massive now, right? She must be absolutely raking it in. Raking it in. Yeah, definitely. It's funny because I actually went back and I think I did two classes. And in one of them she was doing just, you know, she's on a mat in front of like a window in some apartment wherever.

I don't know where she records. And then I watched one from like three years later right at the towards the end of the pandemic. And she's set up in front of this beautiful pool and this Florida ceiling windows. I was like, yeah, this lady's raking it on YouTube. YouTube is treating her very well right now. Just wait until the end of next year. It's just going to be like, all right, everybody.

Let's just step out onto our private beach or, you know, your balcony, wherever you happen to be. It's going to be on like a stretch of open ocean. There's going to be like a yacht moored in the background just lazily bobbing up and down as she does downward dog. Yeah, yoga with succession. Or like, those gratitude mantras are really pang off. It's definitely the gratitude mantras.

So the message these days, the how you doing the check-in, it means a hell of a lot more than it did a year and a half ago. And that's really the lifeblood of good relationships. So given all that, I actually don't think that networking during COVID is all that different. Yeah, you might open with a different greeting or hop on FaceTime instead of grab it a macchiato, you pretentious hipsters. But that's just a superficial difference. You're still taking an interest in the other person. You're still finding ways to be held. I don't even know what a Macchiato is, but I don't even care.

You're still sharing your experience with them. You're developing a relationship. You're just doing it under unusual circumstances. And I would argue that those circumstances, they actually help. Because before, maybe you spent an hour and a half bullshitting with somebody about your hobbies or gossiping about your coworkers or getting plastered over brunch. But now we don't have all of those distractions and all of those pretexts. All we really have is our experiences, what we're going through, what we care about,

what we want to do with our lives now that the world is starting to open up, depending on what country you're in, you know, the real stuff. And the real stuff is what you actually want to be talking about when you're reaching out to people. The real stuff is what differentiates networking from relationship building. And maybe that's part of why it feels a little awkward to you, that these conversations are actually so real. But that's because many of our interactions are superficial or they're mediated by all this

other stuff that isn't actually all that important. and we're just not used to the intimacy of talking to people when we're all stuck at home riding this thing out. Although I do understand not wanting to be like, hey man, how's it going? And they're like, well, here's a list of all the death and destruction around me. And you're like, oh, okay, kind of bored, but my stock portfolio is crushing it

and I'm caught up on Game of Thrones finally. You know, it's like you have to kind of make sure that everybody's willing to do that deep dive with you. So obviously you have to be sensitive about what people are going through. But rather than shy away from that, I say lean into it. Remember that if you meet someone where they are, no matter what they're going through, you cannot go wrong and know that if you appreciate it when people do that for you,

other people are definitely going to appreciate it when you do that for them. And if you need some help making this a routine, get back into six-minute networking. That's why we created this course. It just removes the friction around all the networking and relationship development. Jordan Harbinger.com slash course, create those systems, create those tiny habits. The thing will solve itself. because if there's ever a time that we need great relationships, it's right now in the middle of a freaking global pandemic.

Hope you all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone that wrote in this week and everybody else for listening. Thank you very much. I love all of you. Go back and check out the episodes with Tim Grover and Robert Chaldeen, if you haven't yet, really good must-listen stuff this week. And you know I never say that, especially about my own show. But this stuff really turned out well, even if I do say so myself.

So make sure you have a listen to that. Don't forget six-minute networking is at Jordan Harbinger.com. hope to see you in there. A link to the show notes for the episode can be found at Jordan Harbinger.com. Transcripts in the show notes. We're recording videos for Feedback Friday, but we're not really putting them up on the YouTube channel. We're sort of experimenting with clips and different guest things right now, but eventually these may end up there, but videos of the interviews are all at Jordan Harbinger.com slash YouTube. I'm at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram, or you can hit me on

LinkedIn. You can find Gabe, on Twitter at Gabe Mizrahi, or on Instagram at Gabriel, This show is created in association with podcast one. My team is amazing and includes Jen Harbinger, Jay Sanderson, Robert Fogart, Ian Baird, Millio Campo, Josh Ballard, and of course, Gabriel Mizrahi. Keep sending in those questions to Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. Our advice and opinions, those are our own. I'm a lawyer, not your lawyer, though, so do your own research before implementing anything you hear on this show.

Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love and even maybe those you don't. episode useful, please share it with somebody else who can use the advice that we gave here today. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time. Here's a preview with a former undercover FBI agent who infiltrated the Gambino crime family in New York for nearly three years, resulting in the arrest and conviction of 35 mobsters. And get this, he's not even Italian. Here's a bite. Jordan, I've done everything. I mean, I have posed as a money launderer. I've worked

as a drug dealer. I had worked as a transporter for drug dealers. I worked as a warehouse guy. The whole gamut. My career was 24 out of 26 years. Was solely dedicated working undercover. If I wasn't working for the FBI, I would have been investigated by the FBI. Exactly, yeah. I walk in. I'm in the bar. There's a barmate there. Good looking young lady. She's serving me, what would you like? I usually my drink was give me a kettle, one martini, three olives, some water on the side. I finish the drink. The guys come in. I'm going to go. Go in my pocket, take out the big water money at knot with a rubber band on it. Bam, give her $100. You're not a guy who takes out a little leather wallet and he's going through the change or he's doing it.

Can you imagine four gangs are sitting around going, let's split it up. I had the soup. He had to sandwich the french fries. What about the tech? Sometimes we get into bidding work. That goes, Hey, your money's no good here. What are you doing? You're embarrassing me over here. What do you mean? You paid the lad. Let me get to.

Forget about it. You pay for it. If I were to have gone in there and became a guy who had never a penny, never went into his wallet, never picked up a tab, never had a dime, never had a dime, never kicked up money, never gave tribute payment. That'd be on my ass. They throw me out. If you're with the mob, I say, hey, Jordan, you're on record with us.

That means we protect you. Nobody could shake you down. we can shake me down, so you're on record. What else? For more, including tricks wise guys used to know who's legit and who's not, mob culture and the rules that govern the always upward flow of money, and how Jack became so trusted by the highest levels of the organization that they offered him the chance to become a made man, check out episode 392 of the Jordan Harbinger show with Jack Garcia.

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