The Jordan Harbinger Show - 604: Put Your Best Foot Fetish Forward | Feedback Friday

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

You're concerned that your foot fetish betrays the dedication you have to your significant other and makes you some kind of pervert in waiting. Is there anything you can do to course-correct your way back to decency, or should you just embrace this as an indelible part of yourself that you have the power to control? Or maybe no one should judge you for your foot fetish until they've walked a mile in your shoes? Welcome to Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/604 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Is your foot fetish really a problem as long as the way it makes you feel doesn't intrude on the way anyone else feels? Is your roommate just wagging the dog when she insists her pooch got fleas from your apartment instead of the other way around? Was there a better way to make it clear you and your significant other want to get married on your own terms than refusing to participate in the garter/bouquet toss at their pushy family's wedding? Would it be rude of you and your siblings to request your historically terrible gift-giving mother instead direct her resources to charity? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [e-mail]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Miss our interview with Jonna Mendez, the CIA’s former chief of disguise? Catch up with episode 344: Jonna Mendez | The Moscow Rules here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer Gabriel Mizrahi. Wow, without a nickname, Gabe, you know, they usually do those nicknames. It feels like a weird open. It doesn't sound right. It doesn't, it sounds like I just forgot some serious part of the show. But I still, after weeks, whatever idas I had, like that Dennis Rodmanitis, it's still like there's a little 5% of it's still alive somewhere in my sinus cavity. It's driving me freaking crazy. Like, as a broadcaster, having anything weird. with my voice is pure torture. It's just like a thumbtack in my shoe. In any case, on the Jordan Harbinger show, we decode the stories, secrets and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life

and those around you. We want to help you see the Matrix when it comes to how these amazing people think and behave. Our mission here on the show is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker so you can get a much deeper understanding of how the world works

and make sense of what's really happening even inside your own mind. If you're new to the show on Fridays, that's today, whatever day it is, it's still Friday, here on the show. We give advice to you, we answer listener questions the rest of the week. We have long-form interviews and conversations with a variety of amazing folks from spies to CEOs, athletes to authors, thinkers to performers. This week, we had Tom Wright. He investigates corruption from government all the way through to financial fraud.

On this episode, we discussed one of the biggest financial frauds in history, corruption that resulted in billions of dollars being stolen from, the everyday Malaysian. It's really a fascinating conversation that got into corruption and oligarchs and shell companies and shady financial deals all around the world, including how us here in the United States are complicit in a lot of this. We also had Mike Roe. This is one from the vault. Always love talking to Mike Roe. We talk about the beginning of his career, the foundation, training for jobs that actually exist. He is always so compelling, so fun. You will definitely love this episode. It's from quite a few years ago. So I think you'll really enjoy it, even if you've

already heard it, because it was probably half a decade ago when you did. So be sure to check out everything that we created for you here this week. Gabe, you know, to crown off my weird idas here, yesterday I drank dish soap. What? And it was an accident. Yeah, so I came home after a walk, and I was, like, really warm and thirsty. And on the table, on the kitchen island, there was a nice tall beer glass, and at the bottom, there was, like, three inches of apple cider.

and there was a jar of apple cider, you know, like a, on the kitchen island, like a, what do you call it, like a jug of apple cider. And it was nice and cold. And I was like, well, I'm not going to pour more in here. I'm going to finish what Jen left because she's probably taken a nap. So I took it and I downed a bunch of it and it immediately burned my throat, like immediately burned. And I spit out as much as I could. But you know, like when you're like slamming a liquid, it's too late. So I'm washing my face and I'm washing my mouth out and I'm spitting.

and I'm like coughing and gagging, and Jen's like, what happened? And I'm like, I think I just, what's wrong with that cider? And she's like, are you kidding me? So she had been processing these persimmons from a tree in the next door neighbor's yard. I'm my brother-in-law with him next to him. He has a persimmon tree. So she's processing these like peel, you know, they peel them and they dehydrate them and they cut them up. Well, she left him in the sink for a while because we were all kind of under the weather and had a cold and she's very pregnant.

So she was like, I just can't do all this at once. fruit flies started to sort of invade our kitchen. And how you get rid of fruit flies is you pour a little bit of apple cider and or apple cider vinegar into a cup with dish soap and it traps them. And you leave it out. And she left it right next to the jug of apple cider in a place where, you know, we leave cups of things that we're drinking and I freaking chugged it. That's so gross.

Oh, yeah. So I am, my throat is on fire. Well, that's why you have ronmenitis. You don't have it. You graduated. I graduated. I probably killed the ronmenitis. Maybe.

replaced it with some other disease. Yeah, that's a good point. Now I just have raw vocal cords from slamming dish soap. Luckily, we use some fancy organic crap, so it's probably, I didn't have to call poison control, although I did. They were like, you're fine. You're just a big baby. Yeah.

Wait, you actually called them. Oh, you have to because it's like, this is poison. What soap was it? I was like, oh, it's, and I don't want to give the brand away because I don't know if that's a good idea. But they were like, oh, you're probably okay. Like, it's probably fine. Yeah.

How much did you drink? They thought you were like gargling with palm olive. They thought like I had a death wish and I just slammed a whole bottle of dish soap and they're like, oh, you took a sip of your wife's like food flight traffic. Homemade hippie. Yeah. You'll be fine. You're an idiot, but you're fine.

You're going to be fun. You're going to probably have the runs and be really embarrassed. That's our professional opinion. Like, sir, your problem is not with what you ingested. It's with what's going on in your household. That's a different number. Right. Like Feedback Friday, there's a deeper issue here.

Yeah. So moving right along, this is our last episode of the year. And I have to say this year flew by. Not that every year doesn't fly by, but this one really flew by primarily because I spent, like everyone else, most of it in my kitchen, doing work. I remember giving my little sum up of 2020, talking about how brutal last year was in many ways, you know, wondering when the vaccines would be available, when we could get back on airplanes and go home for the holidays and all that again.

And now we're there and things are like kind of back to normal, but also definitely not really back to normal. We're still feeling our way through this thing very much in the transition between the horror show of 2020 in a post-Panny D world. If there even is such a thing, maybe there isn't. That's fascinating in a lot of ways, but I also know for a lot of us, it's just uncertain, it's difficult, it's intense, it's bringing up a lot of huge questions that we never thought we'd be asking ourselves, including the questions y'all are sending us here on Feedback Friday. And so I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I'm going to speak for you and say thank you from you as well, unless you want to chat in here.

I'm with you. Y'all have invited us into your lives this year, whether you wrote in with your question or you just tune in each week to hear how wild other people's lives can get. Feedback Friday's a real joy for me. It's my favorite part of doing the show, just hearing your stories, getting to talk to you directly. I appreciate you guys sharing so much of yourselves with us, letting us do the same with you, even if it's just me slam and dish soap.

I try to keep some of my personal anecdotes minimal, but sometimes they're too ridiculous. This part of the show, getting real with you guys, looking for answers, finding new insights. It's really special. It's a lot of fun. So yeah, 2021 was another wild one, but it was also, it was exciting for us here on the show, right? This month, I'm going into my 15th year of podcasting, 15 years. So four of them here on the new show. Once again, 2021 was our biggest year by far.

We hit our 600th episode last week. And this episode you're listening to now, this is our 200th Feedback Friday on this show alone. I had a few hundred more before we even got to this point, right? So this is a real sort of achievement here for the Jordan Harbinger show. I also got to sit down with some amazing folks this past year. Anderson Cooper, T. Payne, Brian Chesky, founder of Airbnb, Ray Dalio, at least twice, I think. Matthew McConaughey.

All right, all right, all right. And I'll stop there. The list goes on and on. I would say some of my favorites are not even famous people, just the wild stories that some of the scientists and people kidnapped by pirates and these types of folks are some of my favorites. As a lot of you know, we also signed that really exciting new deal with podcast one that I talked about a few weeks ago. I'm super proud of that. And best of all, Jen and I, by the time you're listening to this, will have had our second child, which is the greatest gift of all, hopefully,

you know, unless he's just sort of over baking that thing. I'm a podcaster. I'm a dad times two. I'm a husband. I get to talk to fascinating people without having to leave my house slash put on pants. This career is a literal dream come true. And I get to do all of it while hanging out with my amazing wife and partner and my kids and my incredible team. And they just make the show possible from the editing to the coordinating to the artwork, to the show notes, to the videos and the transcripts. There's a whole machine behind the scenes here. I just feel super lucky to work with such great people. But none of that would be possible without you guys. You've listened to the show. You've supported our sponsors, which you can find at Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals.

You've shared the podcast with other people. I am so grateful for that. By the way, Gabe, I know that we didn't talk about this, but you know, Spotify does that wrapped thing. Yeah. Where everyone shares their top podcast. We were number one for 11,000 people. Wow. Which Spotify is a very small presideage of our audience. And to be number one, and that means like bigger than Joe Rogan, more time than the New York Times, daily news on these people's list, which is, that's tough. Joe Rogan's got like three hour long shows and he's only on Spotify,

so if people listen to him, like they have to use the app, whereas like 80% of our audience doesn't use Spotify. Wow, that's really cool. So the fact that we were number one on Spotify for 11,000 people's list is really something. Still wrapping my head around that. I'm very grateful for that. Thanks to all of you for being part of our family, whether you've been listening since I was recording the show on my laptop in 2006 or you're joining us for the first time. And if you are, then welcome. I know I say this all the time, but I mean it. We have the greatest fans in the world. Thank you for making another strange year, a year of insight and growth for all of us.

I'm thrilled that we found each other, and I'm pumped for all of the amazing things that we're going to do in 2022. And since it's the last episode of the year, we decided to do another roundup of some of the most interesting slash unusual slash funny questions that we received this year. Hopefully send you into Christmas with a little chuckle, or at least something to talk about at the dinner table, if the conversation is a little dry. So Gabe, what's the first thing out of the mailbag? Hey, Jordan and Gabe. I've had a fetish for feet for many years, but in recent years, it has become increasingly worse.

Not as intense as Quentin Tarantino's, but it's up there. It's eating at me constantly and has become the bane of my existence. Wait, Gabe, does Quentin Tarantino have a foot fetish? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Famously, he does. Yeah.

Almost all of his movies have scenes where his actresses are like putting their bare feet up against the, the car windshield or they're just like prominently in the shot or whatever really in defeat this guy. That checks out and that is like the least weird thing about Quentin Tarantino, I think. Totally. Yeah, exactly. It fits. So he continues. Every time I see girls wearing sandals or showing their legs, I feel aroused and it makes me feel guilty because my girlfriend and I are totally in love with each other and I kind of feel like I'm somehow cheating on her. I've tried to do something about it,

but every time it comes back with a vengeance. I fear that if I don't get rid of the fetish, it will affect my relationship and spiral out of control, and I will end up becoming a pervert or a stalker. Do you guys have any advice for dealing with this unwanted desire? Signed, Quentin Tarantino. Well, yeah, interesting question. I promise you are far from the only person to be wrestling with this. The research on fetishes, it's not the most rigorous. It's hard to pinpoint exactly how many people out there have a fetish or a foot fetish specifically. But I can tell you, a huge percentage of the population is into something. And a pretty big percentage of those people,

as many as 40% of people, according to one study that we read, are hiding it from their partner because they're afraid of how they'll react. And I know this whole foot fetish thing is bringing up a lot of guilt and shame for you, but it might help to acknowledge that this isn't a you problem.

I'm not even sure it's a problem at all. Tons of people have some kind of fetish as long as no one's getting hurt, you're actually going to be totally fine. The thing is, you're worried that this foot fetish will affect your relationship with your girlfriend and spiral out of control and that you'll end up becoming like a pervert or a stalker to use your words. But just to be clear, if you're not acting on this desire in an inappropriate way, you're not doing anything wrong.

Ethically or legally, I don't think glancing at a girl's sandals in line at Ralph's or rewinding once upon a time in Hollywood to stare at Margot Robbie's feet makes you a monster, you might feel ashamed, but that doesn't make you some kind of predator, okay? But if you're following a girl in sandals around a Ralph's or, you know, you're screenshoting Margot Robbie's feet and looking at them at work instead of actually doing work, something like that. Well, then there's a different story, okay? Yeah, definitely different.

In fact, the DSM, which is the Bible for mental disorders, basically, it actually explains the difference between having a fetish and having fetishistic disorder. Being into feet or hair or leather or balloons or feet touching leather balloons or whatever it is, that only becomes a true disorder. You know that's a thing too, right? That's for sure someone's thing. Someone's got that thing. It only becomes a true disorder when an individual has experienced sexual urges focused on those things and has acted out urges, fantasies, or behaviors over a six-month period. And, and this is the important part, the fantasies, urges, or behaviors cause distress or impairment in functioning. So the question is, is this foot fetish

causing you distress or getting in the way of you functioning well as a person? Well, it does sound like it's causing you distress. You feel guilty. You feel ashamed. You're keeping it a secret. Plus, you're stressed. It's going to spiral out of control. So you do seem to meet that criterion. But is it impairing your functioning? Hard to say. That depends on whether you're, I don't know, struggling to concentrate at work because you're thinking about toes all day, or you're spending hours every night Googling celebrities' feet picks, or your obsession with people's hooves is preventing you from focusing, from exercising, from having a healthy sex life, that sort of thing. If so, then you might meet that second criterion too, and this could be an issue that you need to resolve.

And look, it's only so helpful to try and line up your symptoms with what the DSM says. At the end of the day, this is your life, this is your experience, it's harmless at least right now. It's not like you're asking whether you're schizophrenic or homicidal or something like that. I think there's a lot of gray area when it comes to parapheria. And parapheria, by the way, is the technical term for having most fetishes in general. It's kind of vague. Also, we're not qualified to diagnose you whatsoever, so there's that. So if you want to deal with this unwanted desire, I don't think the answer is, you know, stop wanting it. Pretending you don't have this fetish is not going to make it go away. You know this, you probably tried, and as long as it's not

destroying your life or hurting anyone else, I'm not sure it has to go away. But I do think you need to accept it as at least a starting point. Accepting it means understanding that it's okay to have a paraphylic desire, not judging yourself too harshly for being into something idiosyncratic, recognizing that this attraction wherever it comes from is there, and that's okay. Once you accept it, then you can decide what to do about it. Yeah, I agree, Jordan. And maybe the best thing you can do is talk about it with your girlfriend. I'm guessing that's probably the last thing you want to do,

but I actually think it could be incredibly helpful. I mean, first of all, it sounds like 90% of the distress that you feel is just your own shame, your own guilt. The shame that you're describing probably comes from the feeling like you're wrong or you're bad for being into something a little bit unusual, which, again, I just want to echo what Jordan said. Not that unusual, not something to freak out about. but I understand that you feel that way, so it makes sense that it's, you know, bringing up some shame.

Also working so hard to hide that part of yourself, it sounds pretty exhausting, to be honest. The guilt piece, though, that comes from keeping it a secret and keeping it a secret from your girlfriend, specifically. If you did tell her about this, I bet it would dramatically reduce both of those feelings pretty immediately. I mean, it would be a tough conversation, but at least you wouldn't feel like you were hiding anymore. And the way you can tell her about this is, you know, you can sit down and say, listen, I want to share something with you. To be honest, it's really difficult for me to talk about. I've been hanging on to this for a while. I've never told anyone about it, but it's eating me up inside. I don't want to keep anything from you, especially, so here's the

deal. I'm in defeat, like a lot. I don't know why, but I am. You know, when I watch a Quentin Tarantino movie, that's like a hungry person watching Master Chef. I don't know what to tell you. I've never acted on this impulse with anybody else, but every time I notice a girl's feet, when I'm out in public or whatever, I feel like I'm cheating on you. I don't want to feel that way. So there it is. That's my thing. I don't want it to come between us. I'll work on it if it is a problem, but I didn't want to create another problem by keeping it from you. Something like that. And then hopefully she'll be willing to listen to that and have a conversation, an open conversation with you about it. Now, I can't promise that your girlfriend is going to be 100% cool with this. We don't know your girlfriend. But I think there's a pretty good chance that she's just going to hear that and say, oh, okay, that's a little unexpected. That's kind of different, but fine, I guess. I mean, everyone's got their thing. She probably has her thing. Maybe this will be a chance for her to talk about it. There's also a chance that she'll be into the foot thing. I mean, I don't know. Maybe we're speculating, but, you know, sometimes your partner's into the same thing.

I don't know. You guys could explore working it into your sex life somehow. I imagine that that would be a pretty great outcome for you. The other thing you can do, of course, is talk to a therapist about this. It might be helpful to understand the origin of the fetish, pinpoint when it kicked in, how it kicked in. Poor choice of words there. Yeah, yeah. Instantly regret the kick in thing.

You know what I mean. Like you had a crush on a babysitter who never wore socks or something like that. and the two got linked up in your mind. Who knows? Or maybe something more problematic happened to you with feet. I guess that's possible too. But to be honest, man, not all fetishes are born from trauma or whatever. That's just overly simplistic. It's just not true. Sometimes you're just into what you're into. There's no need to pathologize it. You just need to find appropriate ways of acting on it in your life, like with your girlfriend. So seeing a therapist, that might not, you know, quote unquote, cure you of this fetish. You probably don't need to be cured, but talking to a professional would definitely help you

come to terms with it, maybe unpack the shame and the guilt a little bit, hopefully find safe ways to explore this fetish in your life in a way that doesn't compromise anybody else or impair your ability to function overall. If you can do that, then you'll be good. This really doesn't have to be such a liability. I think it can just be a preference of yours that's a little bit different maybe from other people's, but I do think, and I'm with Jordan 100% on this, that you have to start by owning it. really opening up about it. Agreed, Gabe. You know, he might always feel some type of way when he watches Uma Thurman and kill Bill. It doesn't have to eat him up inside. My hunch is that the bulk of his suffering isn't the fetish itself. It's his feelings about the fetish. So I'm with Gabe, man. Start

talking, maybe do some Googling on foot fetishes, although be careful with those results yield. Read through some fetish forums on Reddit, hear other people's stories. You'll feel a lot less alone when you realize how many people are in your shoes. Another poor choice of words there. You know what I mean. All right, just make sure you tell your girlfriend about this the right way when you two are knocking boots. Okay, I'm done.

By the way, when I worked at, well, I shouldn't even say where this was, but I worked at a, screw it, I think this is public, I know it's public knowledge. So there's a guy at Sirius XM satellite radio who sort of like also famously has a foot fetish. I won't say his name because I don't want to like, look, it's been a long time since I've seen him, but he is really, really, really into it. And we'd have celebrities all the time at Sirius XM. And we'd get like Carmen Electra and it's like 2007, right?

So she's still, you know, top of the pops, whatever. And she'd walk in or like Pamela Anderson would be there and stuff like that. And we'd sort of all goad him into being like, can I, can I look at your feet, you know, or just like do something weird? Because he was, he's on the metal station. he's like a very nice charming guy, everyone loves him. So we would sort of make it like extra showy. And he would get down there.

And he's married and his wife is like fine with it. She's like, look, if you're going to like cheat with feet, get it out of your system, I don't care. Just don't cross the line, you know, in any other way. So he would just go to town. There were many times where we would watch like Pamela Anderson get like chocolate sauce on her toes or whatever from this dude. And we would just be sitting there like taking, you know,

We didn't have, there was no iPhones and stuff really that, at that time, nobody had cameras on their phone all the time. So there's definitely some footage of it somewhere, but yeah, I've had like a front row seat to, to all this has to offer and how wild it can get, the Hollywood version anyway. Well, see, that guy's thriving. So you got nothing to worry about. He's doing great. Yep, hosted headbangers ball on MTV a bunch of times.

He's, he's killing it. You know who won't follow you around to Ralph's because they like the timbre of your Tevas? The amazing sponsors who help support the show. We'll be right back. You're listening to Feedback Friday here on the Jordan Harbinger Show. We'll be right back. Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps us going.

Who doesn't love some good products and or services? You can always visit jordanharbinger.com slash deals for all the details on everybody that helps support the show. And now back to Feedback Friday on the Jordan Harbinger show. All right. Next up. Hi, Jordan and Gabe. I'm a college student in Los Angeles and my roommate's dog. has fleas. Therefore, my apartment, including the rugs, beds, clothes, and couch cushions, all have

fleas as well. An exterminator and professional cleaners came, and my roommate paid for them because she and her dog were the only ones living in the apartment at the time of the incident. This is really generous of her, and I have no doubt that all of our physical belongings will be safe and flee free in a few days. The problem is, my roommate insists that it was not the dog that brought the fleas into the apartment. Rather, she believes the apartment gave the dog fleas. This is pretty unlike. There's no way that an infestation of this magnitude could just pop up from the floorboards out of the blue. My gut tells me that she's only saying this because she feels embarrassed or guilty, but at the same time, this feels like crazy making and borderline propaganda.

I feel a bit weird getting ready to live with this person for the next year if she can't even acknowledge the obvious truth that her dog probably just picked up fleas at the dog park. Am I going too far with us? Should I just let her repeat an absurd lie if it makes her feel better? Signed, exterminating the bullshit. And Gabe, I'd love a good horrible roommate story. Yeah. Stories like this make me so happy.

I'm grown up. I'm not living with people who aren't my family anymore. Also, didn't we have another flea story recently? I got a little deja vu here. Someone's in-laws, like, had a flea problem in that they brought fleas on their person over to people's houses. Like, they had fleas. That's right.

A few months back, there was, like, the guy who has his in-laws refused to give the cats flea medicine or something. So every time I went to visit, they would bring fleas back with them. and they were all in the bed. Right. He couldn't sleep in the bed. And then his wife was getting mad at him for saying that her parents

were not like taking care of the cats. That was good one. Right. Even though they all had fleas and it was just like the elephant in the room and she's like, oh, you're mad at them. What should they do?

It's like literally like take a flea bath. Yeah, that was crazy. Episode 556 if you guys want to check it out. I guess fleas are a really common point of contention. When you're living with people, I never really thought about it. You know, we would dab some advantage on our cats like you're supposed to

and forgot about it. But apparently some people get really worked up about this. It's interesting. My first instinct was that you are 100% right and your roommate is 100% annoying. And that is probably the case. But we did a little digging and it turns out that people can actually bring fleas into an apartment. I mean, we saw that with the in-laws, right? Then fleas can live in carpet and even hardwood floors for up to, I think, two or three months

without a food source, which is gross. And also, so it's possible. It's unlikely but possible that the apartment somehow gave the dog fleas. and not the other way around. But since your roommate was the only one living in the apartment when that happened, that would mean that the only other culprit was her, right? So it would still be her fault, unless the landlord or the Comcast Cable Guy tracked them in or something,

in which case it's really no one's fault. But let's be real. In all likelihood, the fleas jumped on the dog, and the dog brought them in, and that's what caused the infestation. Happens all the time. Which, to your point, is totally fine.

It's not even her fault, but the fact that she's denying it so hard is pretty weird. So she's embarrassed, I get it. She feels guilty, fine. But why not just say that? If this were me, I'd be like, man, I'm really embarrassed. My dog drag these fleas in. I feel bad.

I'm the roommate you read about on roommate horror stories and Reddit threads or whatever. Also, I'm not sure if it was the dog or if they were in the apartment already, but since there's no way to know, I'll just pay for it and I'll get flea medicine for my dog, and hopefully this doesn't happen again. Right, Gabe? Like, what's the big deal here? It's not a big deal at all. She's making it a big deal by being so defensive.

But I guess that's, I don't know, that's how she wants to play it, and that's fine. I do understand why it's putting our friend here on edge, though. I mean, if this roommate is so defensive about this, which seems like not a big deal, then what else is she going to get weird about over the year that they're living together? I could see this coming up again in some other contexts. So my advice, try not to spin out too much here. Maybe she's just being weird about the fleas thing and otherwise she's pretty cool. Jordan, do you remember when you lived in L.A.?

People in L.A. are crazy about their dogs. They are. Dog people in general are pretty intense about their dogs, but there's something about L. lay dog owners. I don't know. I don't know what dog owners are like in the bay, but down here, if they feel like someone doesn't like their dog or they feel like their dog is reflecting poorly on them in some way, people will do all sorts of weird shit to deflect. It's like the dog is an extension of them. I see it all the time. So maybe don't hold this against your roommate too much. I would just make sure that she's given the dogs in flea medicine. So this does not happen again.

But if you notice your roommate doing something similar in another situation, like I don't know, maybe what's a roommate thing? She forgets to pay the electric bill and then she turns around and blames you for not venmoing her or something like that, then maybe I would talk to her about this, tell her you're not looking for a fight, you're not trying to put her down or anything like that. But you are noticing that she's dropping the ball on a couple things. And when you bring them up, she gets a little defensive, like with the fleas thing. You can tell her, I'm not mad. Look, it's fine. I'm not judging you. It's all good if you made a mistake. You just, you kind of want her to acknowledge it and work with you to fix it. And hopefully that will help her lower her guard a little bit

and realize that she doesn't need to be so competitive and so defensive when something goes wrong. But in the meantime, yeah, you might just have to let her repeat this absurd story about the apartment giving the dog flees, which now that I'm saying it back, it does sound pretty bad shit crazy. But if it makes her feel better, fine, especially because you don't actually have airtight proof that the dog brought them in. And also, you're in college and this living situation isn't forever. So maybe just pick your battles, right? Jordan, have you ever had like a really bad roommate? I've never had a really, really bad roommate. but I did live with a giant man baby who would have literally two months of laundry on the floor

and he would have no clean clothes at all and he would go and buy new clothes instead of washing them and then his girlfriend which somehow like he had a girlfriend she later broke up with him for these exact reasons but his girlfriend would come over and there'd be a pile of laundry that was as tall as she was on the floor and no clean clothes no clean anything she'd be like these are the same sheets you had two months ago or whatever. I remember once they were like going to do laundry together, okay? And she was helping him, aka doing his laundry for him. And they picked up a bunch of these clothes.

And after like laundry basket number six full of clothes, all of these silverfish came out from the bottom because like they were all living in there. So gross. Yeah. Yeah. And it smelled. Like as they picked up all the clothes, you could smell like musty, moldy, old sway. clothes that had been there for like two weeks buried by other clothes in this pile. It was so vile.

But to be fair, the apartment could have given the clothes silverfish. I'm quite sure that is the case. I will say, however, that I had zero silverfish in my room. That's as close as I have to like bad roommate. I never had anybody who like refused to pay rent or anything like that or like, you know, it was no meth labs in my house, nothing like that. You can reach us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. Please keep your emails concise. Try to use a descriptive subject line that makes our job a whole lot easier. If you can, include the state and country that you live in. That usually helps us get you more detailed advice.

If there's something you're going through, a big decision you may be wrestling with, or you just need a new perspective on stuff, life, love, work, whether you should marry someone who has three years to live. That one from last week, Gabe, stuck in my brain again. Whatever's got you staying up at night lately. Hit us up Friday at jordanharbinger.com. We're here to help. We keep every email anonymous.

And by the way, if you're joining us for the first time, or you want to tell your friends about the show, and I appreciate it when you do. We have episode starter packs. These are collections of top episodes organized by topic to help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on the show. Just visit jordanharbinger.com slash start to get started, and those playlists work for any podcast player, including Spotify. All right, next up. Hey, guys. My girlfriend and I recently attended her mother's wedding. All week and long, the bride and groom were dropping his.

that they were expecting us to get hitched very soon as well. I love my girlfriend very much, and we do plan on getting engaged, but we want to do so on our terms, and on a timeline that feels comfortable for both of us. At the reception, they did the garter belt toss tradition, where the groom takes the garter belt off of the bride and then throws it into a crowd of bachelors, the lucky recipient of whom will supposedly get married next.

This tradition has always felt very creepy to me, but this time, that feeling of uneasiness was compounded by the fact that the garter belt belonged to my girlfriend's mother. The groom started calling out for all the bachelors to gather, but I wanted no part of it, so I stayed at my seat. The groom then singled me out, calling for me to participate. I respectfully declined, but it became clear that he was not taking no for an answer. Not wanting to make a scene, I called the groom over, and I told him, look, I'm sorry, but I'm way too uncomfortable to participate in this. He seemed to understand and went back to continue the toss. I was about to breathe a sigh of relief,

when I noticed the groom decided not to toss the garter bell into the crowd, but instead ran back over to my table and threw the belt directly at me. I sat in my chair staring blankly as I let it hit me, feeling like the biggest asshole in the room. Later, I asked my girlfriend if I had handled the situation poorly and she told me that at first she felt disappointed because it was clear that the bride and groom wanted me to participate. But after the groom threw the belt at me, she felt like they took it way too far. That feeling was reinforced when another lady caught the bouquet and then ran it over to my girlfriend and said, I think this belongs to you. The whole ordeal felt extremely uncomfortable and overbearing. After things settled down, the groom and I cleared the air and everything ended up

up being fine, but I'm left wondering if I could have handled the situation better. Should I have just sucked it up and got along with this? Or was it fair of me to dig in my heels and not participate? Signed, arguing the toss. All right, so this whole situation is so cringe. I don't even know where to begin. Gabe, I didn't realize people still did the whole Garter Belt tradition. I mean, I guess I've seen it in the 90s, but I thought it was like throwback even then. I know it's like the bachelor's equivalent of the bouquet toss, but I've never really heard of this being done in the last, I don't know, 20 years. It's been so long since I've seen anyone do this. We didn't do this at my wedding. One, it would horrify Jen's sort of Chinese, Taiwanese family. And it also makes my

skin crawl a little to think of myself doing this, because I remember seeing it in early 90s weddings and just being like, oh my gosh, like this is so weird. And I'm not even just being uptight. I don't think it just, the way it was done was really icky and cringy and gross. I just No shade on people who are into it or think it's a cool tradition. I just, for me, it's always made my skin crawl, just a lot. We actually did a little research on this, and it's even creepier than we thought. Apparently, the Garter Belt tradition began because way back in the day, like Middle Ages or probably even before, the bride and groom used to immediately leave the ceremony and go into

basically an adjacent room and just like seal the deal. And I guess to make it, this is so ridiculous, to make it official, there had to be to be witnesses, which apparently meant that a bunch of strangers and slash wedding guests would crowd around the bed to get a good view. And I'm quoting an article we read here, try to get their hands on a lucky piece of the bride's dress as it was ripped from her body. Gross. And then over time, finally, people realized that this was just super creepy and they decided that the groom could just remove an item of the bride's underwear and toss it outside the room to prove that he did the deed, basically. Which still is so creepy.

Probably better than turning your wedding night into like an eyes wide shut party. Yeah, I mean, compared to that, it's a step up, but yeah, it's still weird. So given all that, were you the asshole here? In my opinion, no, not really. It's totally you're right not to participate in certain things. It's not like you ruined the whole evening by sitting it out, you didn't stand up and object to the wedding. I mean, look, you could have just sucked it up, stood on the edges, tried not to catch it, moved on with the rest of the night. But given the way everyone was acting to you and your girlfriend all night long, I can understand why you didn't want to sort of jump and be part of that. If anything, the groom is kind of the

a hole here for turning it into a whole thing and throwing the belt at you and getting like way too much attention on you. Like, what the hell? Gabe, am I missing something or is that kind of just weird behavior. It's a little too much. Yeah, I do think it's weird behavior and it's extra weird because this isn't like his frat buddy from college. This is, if I'm understanding correctly, this is, this is his girlfriend's mother's new husband. So that's like his stepfather-in-law kind of. Oh, yeah, like future. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's even more sort of, like, what's up with this guy? He's like, take my wife's underwear. She's going to be your mother-in-law one day. Right. Making you walk around with your future mother-in-law's garter belt. The whole thing is just bizarre.

Or maybe, look, maybe I'm super uptight and this is just not a big deal. It means whatever you want it to mean. I just kind of got gicked out from my previous experience with this and the letter. It also probably depends on what kind of mother-in-law you have, I would imagine. Sir. Anyway, when your girlfriend said she was disappointed, I think she probably just wanted to make her mom happy on her wedding day. And yeah, maybe you could have played along a little more.

I probably would have and then just laughed it off. But as soon as the groom made it about you literally in your face with the garter belt, I think he crossed a little bit of a line. That's on him, even though it's his wedding, so you've got to cut him some slack there. Yeah, I agree, Jordan. I am glad you guys managed to smooth it over, though. Now you can just look back on it and laugh.

The bigger concern to me, though, Jordan, is why is this family so obsessed with them getting married? I mean, I'm sure if the bride and the groom and that other lady who ran the bouquet over to his girlfriend weren't pressuring them so much throughout the evening, he probably would have been more of a good sport about the Garter Belt thing. I mean, maybe the family's just super pumped about them getting married, which I guess is sweet.

but it seems a little insensitive, kind of tone deaf to just be like forcing them, pressuring them to get married. It's like, chill guys. Like give the young couple some space. Let them decide when they want to get engaged. It's their lives. If this guy didn't love his girlfriend so much because I get the sense that he really does, they might have actually managed to scare him off.

I have heard of that happening when families just get way too intense about the timeline. Super sad. Anyway, if all of this starts to get a little too intense for you guys, you or your girlfriend might want to say something. Probably your girlfriend though. She can respectfully tell her mom and her stepdad. that you guys are on your own timeline and that them constantly pushing you to propose not helping things and that it's actually becoming kind of inappropriate.

Hopefully they'll realize that they're acting like maniacs and then they'll back off. The real question is, are you guys going to have a garter belt toss at your wedding? I think they totally should and he should force his mother-in-law's husband to just stand dead center in the crowd and toss his stepdaughter's garter belt right at him so he just knows how freaking uncomfortable that is. Maybe just put it right on his head like a little used underwear crownlet. And then if the stepdad gets mad, he should lean in and say, if you think this was weird, you should be happy we're not getting married in the middle ages, bro. Yeah, that should fix it.

Also, used underwear crownlets, that's got to be a fetish, right? Yeah, for sure, for sure. We'll ask the guy from Q1. With a key one. After he hears that, he's going to be like, oh, feet, that's fine. That's no big deal. I'm not those crownlet people. Anyway, if you're looking for something better to give people than your mother-in-law is used underwear,

then you can't do much better than the products and services that help support this show. We'll be right back. This is the Jordan Harbinger show, and this is Feedback Friday. We'll be right back back. And now for the conclusion of Feedback Friday. All right, what's next? Hi, Jordan and Gabriel. I'm almost 50 years old, and my dear mother is, and has always been, terrible at giving gifts.

She's not a miser, but you can definitely tell she buys things from garage sales and bargain bins. She also re-gifts expensive cosmetic packages that she purchases for herself. My sisters and I have come to accept her cheap attempts by smiling politely and then donating or giving them away. Last year for Christmas, my sisters were super polite about the terrible jewelry and bedazzled Eiffel Tower T-shirts my mom gave us. Got a great mental image of that T-shirt right now. I was plain baffled by the rolling pin I got, mostly because I don't even make pie. My mom says that her husband wants her to give little gifts like that, and he gets upset if she suggests that all we really want is money or a high-quality item that we'll actually use. The irony is that she has always expected us to give her high-end gifts to the point of self-sacrifice.

When we were children without jobs, she didn't like handmade gifts or cheap trinkets. She never wore the fugly Christmas pins or the drugstore perfume we bought her. By the time I was 14, I had learned to please her by providing her with things she liked. I've suggested many times that my parents shift the focus off of us and give to a charity, or just trim down their expenses, but that was met with crickets. As much as I feel compassion for them and their need to feel good,

I feel we're all getting a little too old for this farce. So do we keep up the act, or do we throw down the truth? Signed, wrapping it up. Yeah, this is quite a funny dilemma. Also, such an interesting parent to have the mother who expects a super fancy credenza. Why do I feel like I need to say that

with a smoker's voice? Credenza. Davenport. Yep. Why does she want a credenza from Pure One imports, or whatever, but then turns around and gives you a friggin' rolling pin from the 99-cent store when you don't even bake. I get why you're worked up about this. It's not just that she's kind of being a scrooge with the gifts. It's that she's not even considering what her children really need.

And I'm sure that that's the part that rubs you the wrong way, right? Like, mom isn't really attuned to you or even curious about what you actually want, even if what you want is actually no gifts at all. But then you also have her husband getting mad when she does try to give you something nice that you'll actually use, which that is so weird. I don't know if he's being stingy or if he literally just doesn't even like you guys or what, but between the two of them, you guys are really getting shafted at Christmas. But look, I know it's not about the presence. It's about the charade of pretending you like what she gives you, feeling misunderstood or underappreciated as a daughter, knowing that you had to learn how to please your mom from a young age,

but that she isn't willing to do the same for you now at all. And I know that might seem trivial or even petty, but I actually get that. I could see how that would sting coming from a parent that you worked so hard to make happy your whole life. The thing is, you've already tried talking to your parents about this, and they basically ignored you. So what do you do? Well, you might want to give it one more shot, but be more direct. Maybe you need to be more explicit with your mom. And that's hard, because you don't want to hurt her feelings, but maybe she doesn't realize just how much she's missing the point with these gifts. So you might have to be a little gentle. with her, you could say something like, listen, mom, I really appreciate all the gifts you've given us

over the years. I know it means a lot to you for us to open presents together, and I know you're doing your best to make us happy, but I got to tell you, I don't know if we need to keep this up at our age. Most of the gifts you give us as sweet as they are, to be honest, we can't really use them. Lori's never going to put on that bedazzled Hannah Montana T-shirt. She's 30. I promise you, Christine's not going to wear the cork necklace. She wouldn't have done it even in middle school. me I don't even make. So I gave that rolling pin to goodwill so someone who actually needs it can use it. I find that I end up doing that with most of your gifts, actually, because I don't want to hang on to something that I can't use. I know this costs you time and money, not a lot of money, but some.

So can we please talk about doing something different? Maybe you can ask us for one thing we really need, or you can give us money if that's easier, but I'd be just as happy if you donated to a charity, or we just got together and hung out without any presents. That's honestly what matters most to me. Something like that. And if your mom goes, oh, don't be silly, we have to give presents, and I want to be the one to choose what you get. Then maybe you can ask her why this tradition is so important to her.

Try to get her to explain why she picks these gifts, why she and her husband don't want to give you what you really need. And if she brushes you off, you could even be like, mom, I feel like you're not listening to what I'm saying here. I'm confused. You say you want to make us happy, but I'm telling you what would make us happier. So do you think you can try to understand where we're coming from? Can we at least try something different this year and see how it goes? And then hopefully she'll realize that there is a much better way to spend Christmas than showering you with stuff you could have found in a friggin

treasure chest at your dentist's office. Wow. Those are such specific toys. Do you remember in the dentist's office they would have like that little thing with the ball and you had to get it into the hole? Like you always got that with the dentist. You know what I'm talking about? No, my dentist would just be like, okay, here's the like little box. You get to reach in without looking. Oh, but would you pull out like a tongue scraper or something? No, no.

There was one, like I pull out like a fish, like a little plastic fish. And he'd be like, oh, you got Freddy the fish. And he had like a little, um, an eyelet on it. And you could turn it into, I guess, like a necklace for like a chart. So I would have Freddie the fish in my pocket or like wear it on like a little bracelet or something. Oh, damn. Yeah. Their mom would love that.

I think. She should go to your dentist. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's Christmas right there. Boom. But look, if your mom just won't listen to you or she listens to you, but then she turns around and gives you, I don't know, 13 Chinese finger traps, she picked up a chunky cheese liquidation sale wherever she's shopping these days. Then, yeah, you might just have to grate your teeth and play along a little bit. At that point, you'll just know that your parents are going through the charade for themselves. They just aren't interested in changing. I mean, I guess you could boycott Christmas. and protest and make them pay attention, but I doubt that'll make them change, and then you're just causing drama, and you don't seem like a dramatic person, and then you don't get to see your family, so nobody wins. My advice would be, find something you do appreciate in this ritual, even if it's something tiny, maybe laughing with your sisters, or cooking with your mom, or just being together during the holidays, which is always the best part, and just choose to focus on that. You might find

that this whole gift-giving thing is taking attention away from the other parts of Christmas that are actually really great. So I'd say just decide what to care about and don't get worked up about the stuff you can't change. Jordan, weird holiday gifts. That's another thing I love. They're always hilarious. I remember one year my uncle gave my mom a ladder for Hanukkah. Your mom lives in an apartment or something. That's why it was so funny. I don't, and I'm not talking like a step ladder or even one of those like small ladders that you would use in an attic or something. I'm talking like a full-length industrial 25 foot ladder. And yeah, she lives in a condo. She's not even handy. She doesn't do like home DIY stuff at all. She was totally confused. And she was basically like, okay, no thank you.

And she left the ladder at his house. And then we laughed. We laughed about this for years. But then about 10 or 12 years later, she suddenly needed a ladder one day to fix a light outside her building or something like that. And she was like, damn, I should have taken the ladder. So maybe it was actually an incredible gift. I don't know, but it's just, I don't know. I just love when people give a gift that misfires. Weird gifts are hilarious, man. They usually reveal so much about the person who actually is giving the gift or how they

really feel about the person they're giving it to. So I got a lot of, like, mediocre gifts probably, but one that really stands out that, to me is just hilarious, is I was dating this girl named Nancy. She was like a very professional woman. And one day, we had just met probably a few weeks. maybe even a month or so prior, and she found out it was my birthday, because she's like,

oh, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. Like, my mom, I'm on the phone with my mom. I'll call you back. And she's like, oh, what's up with your mom? It's like, no, she's just calling because it's like my birthday to wish me happy birthday. And she was like, oh, yeah,

me too, happy birthday. And I realized, like, sort of from her vocal tonality that she completely forgot it was my birthday. And I didn't really care. We'd been dating for a couple months. Like, we'd never talked to it. I don't know what her birthday was either. And, like, three hours later,

the doorbell rings. And I get an edible arrangement, like, cake thing with like, but not cake, right? It's like strawberries and pineapple on, like, little spikes. Right. And don't get me wrong. I love me an edible arrangement. These are great gifts. Who doesn't?

They're awesome. But you get that for your secretary or for your, you know, a teacher you like or your neighbor or something like. You don't get that for your significant other. So it almost was, it was even worse than just no gift for my birthday, like, at all. and it was so professional, but like it was like a professional gift like last minute, didn't know them well.

And the funniest part was there was a little code on the card. I don't remember how I found this out, but I think it was from the code on the card. And a friend of mine happened to like work at edible arrangements and it was like, I was like, hey, did you just send me this thing for my birthday?

And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And somehow it had come out that she had like build it through her HR company to send it to me. So I was like, I literally got corporate gifted an edible arrangement from my girlfriend on my birthday. Nice. Yep, that says it all, doesn't it? Yeah. Edible arrangements, just signaling,

I forgot your birthday until two hours before since, like, 1987. So, so much. The other thing that made no sense is she lived, like, minutes away from me, and I'm like, you know, I'm probably like 31. There's a lot of, and she was probably 26. There's a lot that a 26-year-old girl can do for her 31-year-old boyfriend on his birthday that does not involve. Yeah, that does not involve sending a corporate gift from, like,

your company's balance account with edible arrangements. Shock that it didn't last. Yeah, no, what happened there? You know, Gabe, I think what this story really captures, though, is stuff doesn't matter. The stuff doesn't matter. I mean, sure, expensive things are fun. I appreciate a good leather jacket and a cool car, whatever, fancy bed frame from stores whose names I can't pronounce.

Obviously, those things have some value, but they're just, they're nothing compared to spending time with people you really love. And I know it's cheesy. I know it's kind of trite. I know I talk about it all the time. But every year I do this show, it just becomes clearer and clearer to me. Relationships, experiences, acts of service.

Those are things that really matter in life. They're kind of all that really matters in life in a way. I mean, look, you can be driving a Bugatti cool. Where are you going in it? You could be sitting on some super fancy sheslong. Did I say it correctly this time, Gabe? Nailed it. Yep, perfect.

The nicest shes long in the world. But who's sitting next to you? You know what I mean? Not to be too cheesy about it, but my hope for this holiday, actually my invitation for you, because we usually need to be proactive and do this stuff ourselves,

is that you create those experiences for yourself. Doesn't have to be some huge thing. Hit up a friend for a pumpkin spice latte over the holiday. Call your mom, call your dad, call your brother, your sister, your cousin, whoever it is, ask them how they're doing, tell them what they mean to you,

Take your colleague to lunch. Tell them what made you proud this year. Write an email to your boss or your professor or your mentor. Thank them for teaching you what they taught you. Book a weekend trip with your best friend. Take your mom out to lunch. Take your dog on a hike and invite two friends you haven't seen in a while. I promise you will not regret this kind of thing. Because the people we keep in our lives, how we show up for them, how they show up for us, the way we share our love and our ideas and our attention. That is what makes life meaningful. All the science about happiness proves it. We know this in our bones. It's just so easy to forget when we're caught up in the day to day of our lives. So my last piece of advice for this year, be generous with what you have at this moment. Whatever that is.

It doesn't have to be money or gifts or vacations. In fact, the less tangible, the better. And give it to the people that you care about. That is the big secret, which isn't really a secret at all. Just to give. and to find out how far giving yourself to other people will take you in life. And that's as good a place as any, I think, to put this show down for the year. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for letting us into your world in such a cool way. Thank you for letting us make dumb-ass jokes while we ponder some of the crazy-ish that life serves up. You guys are the best.

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. We'll be back in your feed the first week of January. And I hope you all enjoyed that. Go back and check out the episodes with Tom Wright and Mike. row if you haven't yet. If you want to know how I managed to book all these folks, and if you want to improve your own relationships, check out our six minute networking course. It's free. It's over on the thinkific platform at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. Dig the well before you're thirsty.

If you start now, you're starting in 2021. Look at that. It'll be 2022 before you know it. The drills take just a few minutes a day. The holidays is a great time to do this because a lot of people have time to respond to your stuff. Your response rates are going to go through the roof. You can find it all at Jordan Harbinger.com slash course. A link to the show notes for the episode can be found at Jordan Harbinger.com. Transcripts are in the show notes.

I'm at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram or just hit me on LinkedIn. You can find Gabriel on Twitter at Gabe Mizrahi or on Instagram at Gabriel Mizrahi. This show is created in association with podcast one. My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Robert Fogre, Ian Baird, Millie Ocampo, Josh Ballard,

and of course, Gabriel Mizrahi. Our advice and opinions, they're our own. And yes, I'm a lawyer, but not your lawyer. Do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love. If you found this episode useful, please share it with somebody else who can use the advice that we gave here today.

In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next year. If you're looking for another episode of the Jordan Harbinger show to sink your teeth into, here's a preview of one of my favorite stories from an earlier episode of the show with Johnna Mendes. She was the chief of disguise for the CIA in Moscow during the latter part of the Cold War. We really get into the weeds on how they hid people and hid spy gear in one of the most hostile espionage environments anywhere in the world. We invented technology that didn't even exist yet. The small batteries, for instance, they're in our watches and our phones and all.

all of that stuff today. They're kind of like Q from James Bond, but it's the CIA. We could create any kind of character over your face. Masks that came out of Hollywood, and we'd say, great. Go down to the cafeteria and have lunch. This is at CIA headquarters where everybody knows everybody in the cafeteria. And they would go and discover that no one paid any attention to them. You go, wow, I'm hiding in plain sight.

They were following us just every minute. The case officer would step out of the car. The driver would hit a button. This dummy would pop up wearing the same clothes as the guy that had just left. Trailing surveillance would come around the corner and they'd follow that car all night. They never knew. And if they could get to those people, they would execute them. They were feeding people into these crematoriums, feet first, alive.

Unbelievable. A really valuable agent said, I'll work for you on one condition. And that is that you give me the ability to take my own life. Eventually, everybody got arrested. So they arrested him. And we had put that L pill we gave him in the cap of the Montblok pin. It was cyanide. And he knew where it was.

And they said, we want you to write your confession. So they brought him as a boneblock pin. For more with Johnna Mendes, including some incredible spy stories that will really perk your ears. Check out episode 344 of the Jordan Harbinger show. This episode is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know podcast. Finding a new great podcast shouldn't be this hard, so let me save you some time. If you like the Jordan Harbinger show, you'll probably like something you should know with Mike Carruthers. It's one of those shows that makes you smarter in a practical, useful way.

Same curiosity vibe we go for here, just in a fast-focused format. Mike brings on top experts and asks the exact questions that you'd want to ask, and the topics are all over the place in the best way. Recently, they've covered things like why we care so much what other people think, the benefits of laughter, why sports fans get so invested, and what makes people like you or not, the through line is always the same. Smart ideas you can actually use in real life.

Something you should know has been featured in Apple's shows we love, and it's got thousands of five-star reviews because it's consistently interesting. So if you want another show that scratches that I want to understand how people in the world really work, itch, search for something you should know wherever you get your podcasts.

Look for the bright yellow light bulb and start listening. You can thank me later.