The Jordan Harbinger Show - 832: The Wedding Industry | Skeptical Sunday

Episode Date: May 7, 2023

Why are weddings so expensive — and how does the wedding industry sucker us into thinking they have to be? This week on Skeptical Sunday, comedian Michael Regilio joins Jordan to propose the facts on what you’re really getting with a wedding and explore alternatives that won't test the durability of a new marriage with massive debt from day one. On This Week's Skeptical Sunday: The pressure to have an extravagant wedding can sometimes lead to couples investing more in the one-day festivities than in the hard work that goes into the lifelong commitment of a successful marriage. Weddings are becoming increasingly expensive, and the wedding industry is constantly churning out new ways to overcharge its clientele. "Age-old" wedding traditions like diamond rings aren't rooted in history, but in clever marketing schemes that exploit couples' desires for a perfect wedding. Evidence suggests that the more money a couple spends on a wedding, the less likely they are to stay together. Weddings don't have to break the bank — eloping or planning a backyard ceremony are affordable and creative alternatives to traditional weddings. Connect with Jordan on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. If you have something you'd like us to tackle here on Skeptical Sunday, drop Jordan a line at [e-mail] and let him know! Connect with Michael at his website, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, and make sure to check out the Michael Regilio Plagues Well With Others podcast here or wherever you enjoy listening to fine podcasts! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/832  This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals  Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger, and this is Skeptical Sunday, a special edition of the Jordan Harbinger show where a rotating guest co-host and I break down a topic you may have never thought about. Open things up and debunk common misconceptions. Topics such as why the Olympics are kind of a sham, why expiration dates on food are nonsense, why tipping makes no sense, recycling, ban foods, toothpaste, chem trails, and a whole lot more. Normally on the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets and skills of the world's most fascinating people, and turn their wisdom into private. practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. We have long-form interviews and conversations with a variety of amazing folks, from spies to CEOs, athletes, authors, thinkers, performers. If you're new to the show or you're looking for a way to tell your friends about the show, and of course I appreciate it when you do that,

I suggest our episode's starter packs is a place to begin. These are collections of our favorite episodes organized by topic that'll help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on this show. topics like persuasion, influence, disinformation, cyber warfare, technology, futurism, crime, and cults, and more, just visit jordanharbinger.com slash start or take a look in your Spotify app to get started. All right, today on this edition of Skeptical Sunday, the wedding industry. Man, I got married. It wasn't something Jen and I really wanted to, well, we wanted to get married.

We didn't want to have a wedding. And I think that's really what we're debunking here. We're not debunking getting married. That's a thing. Do with it what you will. It's the wedding industry. When we're young, we attend a family wedding, it's a blast, the dancing, the food, the staying up late, the bottomless Shirley temples or, you know, stealing alcohol from adults. Not that I did that, but I know a lot of people who did, and that's why it turned out fine.

As a young adult, the first few weddings attended are also pretty fun. You see old friends, you dance, and of course, bottomless adult beverages, but after a wedding or two has drained the old bank account, an invitation to a friend's wedding can make us think, the hell did I ever do to you? This week on Skeptical Sundays, comedian Michael Regilio is here to propose the facts on what you're getting with a wedding. Michael, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me, Jordan. Full disclosure, I am a married man. And like everyone, my journey to marriage is unique. But when I say I fell in love with my wife, I mean, I really fell.

A few months into dating, I fell off the pull-up bar in her apartment and snapped a rib. Ooh, snapped ribs are no joke. I do wonder, did the bar fall or did you just lose your grip on the bar? because one of those is significantly more embarrassing than the other. It's the less embarrassing, although ending up with a broken rib on your new girlfriend's floor is plenty embarrassing alone. But yeah, no, the bar broke on me, and I went down. Actually, in the emergency room, they were like, oh, yeah, we see a lot of that. These home pull-it bars are a nightmare.

I can imagine that being a big problem. I installed my own when I was a kid, and it had these really long wood screws, and there were three on each side, and you screwed the sucker in, and it wasn't going anywhere. but now they just sort of squeeze outward with these crappy rubber ends like you would see on the end of an older person's cane. And it's like any momentum in this thing's going to shake loose or any kind of weather is going to just take these and make it completely unsafe. Absolutely. And in my case, it is more embarrassing in that I was trying to hang upside down because I thought it would be good for my back. I was like, oh, we're going to go for a long hike. I'm going to hang upside down. That'll stretch my back out. Instead, I broke my back. So.

Yeah, irony indeed. My girlfriend became my caretaker. She lovingly nursed me back to health, somewhere between her feeding me and bathing me. I realized I had gone from head over heels falling off a pull-up bar to head over heels in love. That's a great meat cute, just sort of a grievous bodily injury trip to the hospital. 15 sponge baths later, here we are. Yeah, exactly. Hey, I'm your problem now.

Yep. And during the global blur of time we called the quarantine, I asked her to marry me. We waited until the vaccines were available and things opened back up and we set a date. I think that's a good call waiting for things to return to so-called normal. We've all seen pictures of those COVID weddings where the vendors don't know what to do, the venue doesn't know what to do, the guests don't know what to do, it's a whole thing. Yeah, I know. It's like, you may now remove the bride's mask. Give her a rapid test, and if she comes back negative, kiss her through a plate glass partition.

Yeah, it's more like visiting somebody in prison than getting hitched, except you can probably touch more in most prisons. I'm glad you didn't have to go through that. Oh, well, we went through plenty. Even though we waited for things to open. and back up, there was still pressure to enact COVID protocols, none of which sounded fun. The venue wanted to have people present their Vax cards. They wanted a Vax tent and an unvaxed tent. Somehow in 2021, the venue thought it was okay to literally use the word segregated in reference to our wedding. Wow. People started using our wedding as ground zero for the coming ideological war of the 21st century. A vaccine mandated a wedding combined with literal segregation tents. That can cause a

little bit of strife justified or otherwise? Oh, man, it was such a bummer. We were crazy enough to just think of it as our wedding. I mean, you thought the vaccine caused some screaming matches at school board meetings. You should have seen what it did to our families. It devastated us. It wasn't our love that people wanted to celebrate. They wanted to get into screaming matches with each other. Stuff like, you're taking my freedom away while sending links to claims about microchips, vaccines. It was the whole thing. Yeah, I don't miss the days of there's microchips in the vaccine. Don't forget, they also kill you. They make you infertile, which doesn't really matter because you're supposed to be dead anyway. But again, I don't miss those days. In fact, some might argue we're kind of still there, but I think people have grown tired.

We're arguing about other things now, trans, something, something. Yeah, exactly. Thank God we're not arguing vaccines anymore. Although I know a number of friends that if you get them on the subject, they are happy to revisit it. So it became clear that our big day was going to be the most miserable day of our lives. We had booked a gorgeous venue, hired the required vendors, but two weeks after the save the dates went out, six months before the big day, we just didn't want to do it anymore. And we canceled the party, not the commitment. Wow. What do you do?

Do you unsave the dates? Do you send like a crappy follow-up on the back of the leftover holiday cards? Like, hey, forget that. Scratch that date. You're free now. For one, do not give the wedding industry any ideas. They will take advantage of anything. Unsaved the dates will definitely be a thing one day, but no.

When we booked the vendors, they made us feel so lucky for securing everything. They all bragged how in demand they were since the quarantine lifted. So before the photographer had taken anything other than our deposit, as well as the DJ caterer, flurrous videographer, hairstylist, makeup artist, wedding coordinator, and wedding day good weather shaman or whatever else we got suckered into, we called them. We explained these unprecedented circumstances. The wedding date was six months out, and they all said, what a drag.

So sorry to hear it, but we're keeping your money. Right. Okay. I mean, I understand the concept of a deposit, but six months out, it seems like, well, you're still free that day, and if you're so in demand, maybe you can book someone else because you kind of implied that you could. Yeah. In fact, as I contemplated that the wedding I wasn't having was costing me thousands of dollars,

I checked the calendars of all my former vendors, and I realized they'd all rebooked the date within a week. We had cost them nothing. Well, they had cost my fiance and I a big chunk of our savings. So hooray for the celebration of love. It seems like they turned your deposit into a profit center, which is kind of not the point of a deposit initially. Of course.

I mean, that's when I started thinking that this entire industry might just be one huge scam. And huge it is. According to what looks to me like IBIS World Statistics, as of 2022, the wedding industry in the United States has a revenue of over $70 billion, which is pretty good for something people, I was going to say do once, but mostly try to do once. Try to do once. We'll see. But believe it or not, there were almost two million weddings in the United States in 2021 or over 5,000 weddings a day. Oh my God. That's 2021. As of 2022, the average wedding in America costs. $30,000. But even this figure is misleading, because the average cost factors in the huge weddings of the very wealthy. The mean cost is closer to $20,000.

Okay. Still a lot of money, objectively. Absolutely. And the higher number that they put out there is actually psychological. This helps with the wedding industrial complex by skewing the cost higher and making couples think they need to spend close to $30,000 or they're somehow shorting themselves and their guests. That money goes to the venture. you, the cater, the photographer, et cetera. And then many couples return to their studio apartments in debt after their big day. That doesn't surprise me. It's a big payday for the vendors, but you're right. Normally, when you do a calculation like this, you say, well, the average income

and you go, well, let me stop you right there. I want the median income because that's a more reliable, accurate figure for, let's say, income. But when you're looking at an industry like this, they want to inflate that as high as they can because then you go, oh, man, the average wedding is $50,000 in California, and I'm making that figure up. But then it's like if you're only spending 40, what you do is you tell yourself, well, I should probably spend at least $10,000 more. And are we average or are we above average? Well, I'd like to think of myself as above average. What if we spend $15,000 more and we go and dump that into, I don't know, a photo booth and a juggling clown or whatever the hell or a live orchestra and all the other accoutrements

of a wedding that you frankly don't need and won't remember? But anyway, I'm probably getting ahead of myself. It's true. I mean, why would anybody take somebody's word for it? Like when you go to buy an engagement ring and you walk in and they tell you, well, you should be spending. Like, this salesman is telling you what you should be sending. That should be a red flag right away.

Right. And no other industry, do people buy that? You know, when you walk into a car dealership, the guy's not like, you should want to spend $100,000 on this car. That's a good point. Like, you know, most people spend half their annual salary on a car. Well, I'm not a moron. Thank you, sir.

but if you do go buy a ring, well, you know what they say, it's three months salary. Hmm, who says that? The diamond company De Beers, namely came up with that crap in like the 30s. Yeah, that's right. So yes, this is what we want you to spend because it's a ridiculous amount of money. Absolutely. And the couples, they spend this money not only because they want to have a traditional wedding, but they feel pressure from family, society, and of course, the wedding industry,

and now social media, which just has changed the entire game. I mean, if your wedding doesn't have TikTok videos, did it even? happen. In a recent Forbes article, it states, brides and grooms can keep browser tabs open to Instagram and Pinterest. Full pages of wedding ideas, wedding planners are accessible through messaging apps. All of this makes it so much easier to add just one more little element to the wedding to make it perfect. And every element added to display a perfect tradition, the more money your wedding costs. I was actually envisioning brides and grooms during the wedding having the browser tabs open, but it makes more sense that they leave them open during the planning phase. And I'm

pretty sure we did that, even though Jen was miserable throughout the entire planning phase of our wedding. And I was like, I don't want to do this. And neither did she, unfortunately. But how far back do wedding traditions go? I know we talked about the diamond thing for a second. That's a different show, but do wedding traditions have similar nonsense where it's like, this is a marketing thing and everybody thinks it's some kind of religious tradition? Of course. I mean, the answer is surprising slash not surprising. Like a lot of Western traditions, ancient Rome laid down foundations for how we celebrate marriages. But the meaning has evolved significantly. Our modern traditions mostly go back less than a hundred years, and they were created by businesses trying to make more money.

That is also not a surprise, although I would imagine in ancient Rome they slaughtered more things during the ceremony, people, animals, etc. During the ceremony, yes, I'm sure we slaughtered just as many Before the ceremony, for the ceremony, we just don't consider them ritualistic sacrifices. Right. Like, we have sacrificed a goat and 50 captured slaves from another nation state. Right. Yes. So you should have a successful marriage. We don't want to think of weddings as a capitalistic tool. Whenever I say that, people are like, you're a communist. I just mean, well, a capitalistic tool. But it is a multi-billion dollar industry. Right. And we're made to believe a wedding requires many traditions. The rings, the parties, the photos, the food, the cake, the clothes, the shower,

the list goes on or not. Before you drop the cost of these frivolities, it's calming to take a step back and see what we have all fallen for. I have to commend you on your use of the word frivolities because I don't know if I could have said that myself. Frivolities is mostly how that looks to me. All right. So we've fallen for each other, but we're also falling for the ploys of all of the vendors. There has to be a time when weddings were more like the couple walked into a church with a couple witnesses and that was it, right? Of course. Of course. Weddings used to be really simple. Just a modest acknowledgement of a union. The royal weddings, with their garish parties, influenced the proles, and weddings became an occasion of

emulating that wealth, even for the lower class. Prolls means what, proletariat? Now we're really sounding like a couple of commies over here. Or just some erudite pedantic a-holes. Yes, that's kind of the sweet spot for this show. Erudite pedantic a-holes. So the real tradition here is spending way too much money for a one-day party. That's the real kind of core of the tradition when we get down to it. Pretty much. I mean, the whole concept of marriage is so twisted from the original goal of what a wedding was supposed to do for you, your family and your community. Yeah, when you get down to brass tax, it's all kind of just one fancy way to bleed you of your money. Should we talk about love and marriage for a second before the scam of the party? Do we even go

down that road? Absolutely. A lovely historian, Stephanie Coons, talks about a lot about, the business of marriage in her book Marriage, A History. Creative title, by the way. You got to just say what it is, man. She really went a lot. Although, I have no room to talk as a guy running the Jordan Harbinger show, so maybe I should shut my face. Well, she often talks about the point of a wedding historically

was essentially to make a desirable stranger a part of the family. According to her, a wedding was done for economic and political deals, to increase a family's labor force or for military expansion. the thought of love having anything to do with it was irrational and foolish. I can kind of get down with that, though, right? The older I get, the more I go, you know, arranged marriages, not a terrible idea most of the time. I wouldn't have necessarily wanted my parents to pick, but I think some of my parents' friends might have done a decent job of picking.

My mom would have, my dad, I would hope not. But I get it. I mean, military expansion sounds like a great reason to get hitched these days, does it not? Oh, absolutely. And getting rich with a hitch is sounds like a great reason. I think both my wife and I have said to each other on occasion, like, I wish you were rich when I married you. Yeah. No, I get it.

Makes life easier. No matter what, though, you're still going to have to deal with in-laws. Rich or not, epaulettes or not. That's right. I mean, but they wanted to deal with in-laws. Really, a wedding was a way to get in-laws. People were literally less interested in the spouse than the in-laws. People wanted to get into a family who could offer you things and better you.

your place in society. Nowadays, marriage happens despite the in-laws. I mean, listen, for thousands of years, marriage was just way too important to leave up to something as irrational as love. I kind of get it. I guess some cultures still act on the idea that it is a business transaction. When you hear about like Indian weddings, you can't marry across casts and still, if you're wealthy, wealthy, like your family doesn't know how much money they have because you own so much stuff that it's not even managed by anybody in your immediate family, you still kind of have to be careful. Like a lot of hyphenated names, they don't just go, you know what, she seems nice. It's like, oh, no, we're not giving her a billion dollars plus in property, whatever it is. You want somebody

who's equally as well outfitted so that they're not after you for the money, even though they kind of are. I don't know. I would agree. I mean, I've always said that you notice that like really famous people tend to hang on to the friends they had before they were famous, because they're the only people they know like them for them. I mean, that makes sense to me. And I would imagine marriage is something similar where it's like, I need to know you love me for me. And if you're already a billionaire, clearly you're not marrying me for the money, you know. Yeah. And we in the Western world, especially in the U.S., are taught this is somehow crazy. But not that long ago, it was a shared ideal among cultures that love had no business in marriage. Well, the concept of love aside,

let's focus on the fact that we do buy into conventional weddings. I've been told my wedding day, was fun. The pictures look joyful, but it went by in a blur, and no, I wasn't three sheets to the wind. I was just doing way too much stuff. It was like, get there, first look, photos this, make sure you go over there and do that. Oh, you want to talk to your guests? Not so fast, Jordan. Go on the golf course and freeze your ass off for 45 minutes or an hour in 45 minutes, taking a bunch of photos that frankly should have been done at another time. Go back to the wedding. Everyone says, where were you? Doesn't matter, too late, got to eat. No time for that. Go to every table for two seconds. I mean, that was the wedding. Yeah. That was the whole thing. It was like we did the whole thing

for the gram, even though we didn't really do it for the gram. That's what it felt like. Absolutely. I mean, the first step for any couple looking to get married is, of course, the engagement ring. The tradition of the wedding ring has roots dating all the way back to Romans, but the modern concept of the diamond engagement ring comes from, you guessed it, the diamond industry, De Beers, to be exact, who we already mentioned. Yes, De Beers has a lot of controversy surrounding their minds and the fact that they artificially keep the diamond prices high. And actually, that's a whole skeptical Sunday that I'm going to make a note of right now. Yeah, I mean, we could do an entire episode on De Beers and Diamonds and the entire gem industry.

But what's most notable about the gem industry is their success in what you just said, convincing the world that diamonds are valuable because they're rare. Which they're definitely not, right? Just about every married woman is walking around with one on her finger. and there are plenty of earrings, necklace, bracelets, and even multiple skin care products infused with diamonds. I mean, diamonds are not exactly a Superman number one comic here. But De Beers has been successful in a marketing campaign from 1938 that gave us the tradition

of the diamond engagement ring. I didn't know that the diamond engagement ring was less than 100 years old. I thought the salary thing and some of the other stuff was new-ish, you know, century old. I didn't realize the whole thing was not that old. It's not quite the whole thing. It's the tradition of everyone having to have a diamond engagement ring. That's a pretty new concept. So it was 1938, and as the Depression ravaged the average American family,

Harry Oppenheimer, the son of the founder of De Beers, hired an ad agency NWIR to help his business sell more diamonds. The slogan, a diamond is forever is born. The goal was to convince men that diamonds were synonymous with romance, and the size and quality of the diamond was directly related to the measure of his love as well as a symbol of his professional success. I think I saw that episode of Mad Men,

and if not, it should exist. And from that women in that show to all Beyonce's single ladies, women are convinced it's paramount that a young woman's worth hinges on a diamond, and only a diamond as an acceptable engagement ring. To do this, they did what advertisers still do.

They hired celebrities and their cohorts in the media to advertise for them. young starlets would show off their fancy diamond engagement rings, while the press, who were also on the payroll, would rave about them in the gossip columns. Ah, okay, so cue Marilyn Monroe singing, Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and it's basically influencer marketing 101.

I mean, every line of that song is an advertisement for a diamond retailer. But before her even, it was shoved down women's throats. No ice, no dice. That's a deep cut, Diamond puns incoming, y'all. An MIT paper shows the diamond industry laid out the plan like this. We spread the word of diamonds worn by stars of screen and stage, by wives and daughters of political leaders, by any woman who can make the grocer's wife and the mechanic sweetheart say, I wish I had what she has.

It all plays off the psychology of the lower class wanting what the wealthy have. You know what's more affordable than a wedding DJ? Mostly everything, but especially the products and service, that support this show. We'll be right back back. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps us going. All of the deals, discount codes, and ways to support the show are at Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. You can also search for any sponsor using the search box on the website as well. Please consider supporting those who support us. Now, back to Skeptical Sunday. Every couple I know falls for the hype thinking they're part of a very old tradition,

myself included, and we originally didn't even want anything. And we don't wear it. And we don't wear them and families were like, what do you mean? You have to get a ring though, but you're still going to get an engagement ring, right? Even if you don't get a wedding band, you can skip the band. Nah, just get, you know, you should get both. You only get married once. And I was just like, how did we go from we don't want a wedding and we don't want rings to, we're planning a wedding and this ring is not the right shape, size, whatever, cut? It was so ridiculous. It was the epitome of pure pressure that I thought I was over, given that at the time I was like 30 freaking five. I mean, we kind of are taking part in an old tradition, just not the one that you think you're taking

part of it. Yeah, true. The old tradition of buying an engagement ring is a tradition of emulating the rich. That's the tradition. According to a salon.com article, in 1939, 16% of brides were married in clothes they already owned. A third married without an engagement ring and a third didn't go on a honeymoon. Yet the ring, the dress, the vacation are all things that we now think of as essential, right? I mean, on top of all that, the Association of Bridal Consultants says that 43 professionals are needed for the servicing of one average American wedding. So the idea that the weddings that we have today are traditional is just plain wrong. Basically, we're all just tools of the diamond industry or the WIC, the wedding

industrial complex. That's right. They saw a good thing and ran with it. And a lot of people won't like this, but the history of the engagement ring is not very woke, ladies and gents. figured that it was probably not, right? It probably has something to do with property and all that. I think many may know that intellectually, but when it comes down to it, I mean, how much did you spend on an engagement ring? Zero. What? You got away with that? That's great. Again, it wasn't Jen. It was like the in-laws and the friends and da-da-da-da. We didn't give a crap, but you, you resisted. You broke the system. That's right. This is even before I knew any of this stuff, but I mean, my wife rules. I just gave her a

silver bracelet with a sweet engraving. I still got down on a knee like a good chivalrous knight taught us to do, but it was the sentiment, the commitment we both wanted. And you know what? Since that day, I clasped the modest bracelet on her wrist, she's never taken it off. And I feel like that was the moment that we got married. That was the union, the symbol of, yeah, the rest of our lives, for better or for worse. It's good she hasn't taken it off because she might find that her skin is green underneath. I won't mention my wife's ring, which is sitting in a box next to my ring, worn for maybe almost a week, if you add up all of the days that it's been worn. I bet you it's not even that much.

Wow. Really? That's amazing. Looks new, though, because it is. It probably will forever. I mean, I know, look, I know I'm lucky that my wife hates diamonds. Look, she and I both wear wedding bands, and we both love the symbol, but they did not cost us a fortune, and neither of us give a shit if others criticize how little we spent on the purchase.

Which is a thing. The Gem Society states that anthropologists believe this ring tradition originated from a Roman custom in which wives wore rings attached to small keys indicating their husband's ownership. I knew it. Of course. I mean, wedding rings date back to an ancient times because women were being purchased. And the expensive rings ensured the woman would have something of value if widowed or left or whatever. Getting back to De Beers advertising, diamonds are forever in the late 30s, rings were given to the father of the bride as a symbol of purchase. It wasn't into World War II that both partners, even wore rings. Men wore rings as a reminder of their lovers while overseas. Eventually, everybody got into it.

So, countries warring made it so men wore rings. That's interesting. It's like the metal equivalent of having a picture hung up in a locker somewhere. Are there any wedding traditions that are actually in? ancient or were they all just manufactured in the 20th century? There's a few, of course. The bridal bouquet is an ancient kind of fun tradition. It's all about evil spirits. Throughout history, societies believed in the idea of evil spirits and they were taught flowers and herbs warded them off. So brides carried these bouquets as spirit shields. Naturally, the guests thought that made the bride

super lucky. So they wanted a piece. It led to brides, throwing their bouquets to the guests to avoid them hounding her over this bouquet on her wedding day. Oh, I see. So instead of being like, yo, let me get some of that magic. It's like, I'm going to throw it up in the air. And if you're lucky enough to catch it, good for you. It's not my problem anymore. Yeah. Nice. Brides were like the original Ghostbusters. This is such a dumb theory now that I know the real truth. But I always thought that the flowers were there to mask the B.O. that people had because they bathed annually if you were lucky. And I just thought like, man, everybody must smell so bad. Maybe I just won't stink on this one day because I'm holding flowers.

You know, that's got to have something to do with it, too. I didn't come across that in my research, but that sounds so spot on. People did used to stink. In fact, a lot of people still stink. There's a tradition for you. Staking to high heaven and not bathing. Still being held onto religiously by some folks. Oh, I can't remember which celebrity it was,

but someone was on a talk show just very recently saying how he never bathes. It's good for the skin to never bathe. Not good for your friendships or your relationships, but apparently it's a new thing, not bathing. It's an old thing slash new thing. Who knew? Yeah. Here's looking at you, Brad Pitt.

I mean, a lot of them look like they never bathe. Yeah. That might be part of it. Shia LaBuff looks like he could use a bath. Anyway. So the bridal party is a mix of both ancient and modern traditions. It has roots in ancient Rome where ten witnesses were required to make a marriage legally binding. Those ten witnesses were also served as protection for the wedding couple.

Protected from what? Is this also an evil spirit kind of thing? No. Attack. Okay. What? This is so interesting. also where the bridesmaids dresses come in, originally tasked bridesmaids with not only attending

to, but also protecting the bride from the most threatening evil, bandits. What? Really? This is true, yeah. Historians write that in ancient Rome, bandits would descend upon the wedding, so bridesmaids wore similar outfits to the bride to confuse them. Wow. So the whole we need matching corsets, Brenda, turned out to be a very practical self-defense tactic from ancient Rome. That's so ridiculous. So the modern day bridezilla tantrums we see nowadays, the original purpose was we need to confuse the bandits that are going to descend upon the wedding party

to what raid us for women and treasure. That's so weird. And it also really underlines the idea that women were really just possessions to be had and or stolen. Yeah, in ancient Rome, when someone said, you stole my girlfriend? It had a whole different meaning, man. Now it's involved into bridesmaids

wearing the same colors and styles, but the bride must stick out in her white gown. Which is kind of a joke itself, right? Wearing white to prove you're a virgin. I've never been to a wedding and thought like, wow, she's going to lose her virginity tonight. In fact, if I did go to a wedding and someone told me the bride was a virgin,

well, I'd have a few questions, namely, why someone at the wedding was talking about the brides of virginity, which is wholly inappropriate in the first place. The virginal white trope is completely made up by the wedding industry. Really? That's not a religious thing? I would have thought of all things at the wedding.

That part was religious. Yeah, well, look, even as recently as the 1850s, most people couldn't afford white cloth for anything because white cloth was so expensive. Plus, it was impossible to clean. And the idea of wearing a dress once is fucking insane, especially for the cost. Hell, I can't even keep my white's white now when I live in the year 2023. That is a personal issue that you might want to look at. And that's good.

Again, bathing may help you there, but you may have a deeper problem that's not. something I want to discuss on the show. There are also a lot of commercials and chemicals on the matter, by the way. Right. Totally. And average people back then just couldn't afford white cloth. Their dresses were sensible browns and greys because that was affordable fabric that hid dirt, even on a wedding dress. Ironically, in the 1800s, when women wore brown, they were far more likely to be virgins than the rich women in white. Huh. But weddings are all about the white in so many ways. And it's all bullshit about displaying wealth, the white wedding cake. No. Our cake was pretty dope, and it tasted really good, which I did not see coming, because

usually when things look good to eat, they're terrible. Definitely had that for breakfast pretty much every day for a week after the wedding. Well, did you let the caterer know how many cuts you made to the cake and send them their fee? Because that's a thing, too. You pay per cut. I mean, you pay for everything. You pay for looking at your caterer for too long. I mean, but back in the old day's white sugar was so rare and so expensive that only rich people could afford it. And they bragged about their wealth by showing off a white cake. It was kind of a fuck you to the poor. Wow. What else for an aristocrat to do to entertain themselves essentially than making other people feel inferior in their presence? Why do we buy into all this literally and figuratively? Is it

just imitate the rich, try to compete with them even though we can't afford it? It's ridiculous. I mean, in truth, it's just really great marketing by the wedding industry, which brings together a bundle of vendors to capitalize off one damn party. The industry says a big web, is to gather people together and spend quality time with family and friends. Bullsh, any couple will tell you the day goes by in a blur. You barely speak to anyone. So it's all about keeping up with the Joneses. Gosh, I can definitely attest to the entire thing going by in a big whoosh, like I said,

and remembering five minutes of it. It used to be about keeping up with the Joneses, but now it's all about keeping up with the Kardashians. And I got news for you, Jordan. No one can keep up with the Kardashians, and the luxurious, extravagant parties they have for every. And that's another thing sold to us recently. All the pre-parties, engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor party, rehearsal dinner.

My wife recently went to a bridal brunch that cost her a bunch of money eight months before her friend's wedding. Who's benefiting really? Who's profiting off the hallmarky wedding hoopla? It's got to be the vendors. Who else? Well, it's a collusion of vendors. And a lot of what these vendors conspire about is or should be illegal.

of what we do on our wedding day has a wedding tax. What do you mean? I don't know what that means. I mean, if you threw the same exact party but told the venue, the vendors, it was for birthday or retirement or something, very often, it'd be cheaper. Really? But everyone just accepts the fact that a wedding is going to cost a ton of money so they mark everything up, whatever percent, and you're just like, well, shrug, it's a wedding. Exactly. It starts with the engagement. Engagement party could just be the wedding. But we were made to believe that we have to have this party first. It's probably best that it's not, though. I read on bestlife.com, which maybe a dubious source, but whatever, 20% of all engagements are called off before the wedding, which is a lot.

I mean, one-fifth of engagements called off before the wedding. That's a real testament to how bad decision-making is nowadays. Yeah, well, it's probably also a testament to the pressure that the person being proposed to is under in that moment. I wonder how many people just say yes for the moment, and then we'll deal with this later. I'm not sure, but. Yeah, there's got to be some of that. Like, it was too hard to say no because there were so many people there. And now I have to. Screw it.

Let's let everybody celebrate us for another month. And then I'll be like, eh, I'm out. I know. It's kind of crazy, like destination engagement parties where all your friends pop out of nowhere. I was actually at one of those not too long ago. And nobody was sure she was going to say yes. We were all kind of surprised. We had to hide in the back.

And then we came out. And we had no idea if we were coming out to tears of joy or tears of grief. That would have been incredibly awesome. Like, now's not the right time. And then it's like, isn't that your brother and my cousin? And, oh, my God, they all saw me reject you. It would be funnier if, like, she rejects it. And then we all tried to sneak away. Like, get out of the wide bar without getting noticed. Oh, my God. Wow, this place really emptied out. What a coincidence that we're, oh, my God, what are you guys doing here? Anyway, I got to go. I should go because I just ruined your life. Bye. Yeah. Oh, God.

I mean, it's crazy these engagements. And the average price of an engagement. ring, which is $5,500 as of 2022. And the price spent on the engagement party, which came into about $970 in 2022, we're talking huge money here, man. Assuming the wedding even happens at this point, let's break it down. Who are the vendors? How much money are they making? We don't need an exhaustive list, but there's certain vendors you always have,

right? Flowers, food, whatever. Of course. And, I mean, social media has exacerbated the whole wedding day experience. couples will be convinced to spend extra so they get that perfect Insta photo or the first look of colors matching or the lighting being perfect. But what's the first thing you check off when you RSVP a wedding? My food?

That's right. And each meal chosen is money in the caterer's pocket. The per person average for a wedding guest in 2022 was $75 just for the dinner. Alcohol is a separate tab and depending on the alcoholic trends amongst your friends, families, that tab can run you an average of $2,400. Plus, there are the food costs of hors d'oeuvres, dessert. The cake is separate cost. As I said, there's a cake cutting fee.

Wow. Then there's the late-night snack, the rehearsal dinner, the day after brunch. Your wedding's not over on your wedding day anymore. And it's the caterers. They're raking in the profit at each wedding they serve. The cost goes up if you're getting married in a city like L.A. or New York, as opposed to, like, Iowa City. Ugh, I understand the day after brunch.

They got to make sure that the bride's not a virgin anymore. I'm joking, but also it's like such a weird thing that this has gotten extended and extended. There's seemingly no rationale for it, just trying to nulke more money out of the couple. And then, of course, we all have to post the photos of that meal and judge it and let everyone know if it was lit or not. Yeah, and those photos are at an enormous cost. The professional ones, we convince ourselves, we must pay for, even though every, Every guest has a camera on them, and a lot of couples insist on no photography or video because they pay so much for the photographer and a videographer.

And you could save thousands and thousands of dollars if you did the opposite. This is just me talking here. But have everyone take a shitload of pictures. Send the best ones to the couple, and boom, free wedding photographs. I mean, come on. How much better quality is the photographer compared to my expensive phone? I feel like maybe there's some that are worth it, but you probably don't need the person to be there with sick. assistance for the entire time. Although I do treasure those photos, but damn, they were so expensive.

There's a book sitting on my mantle, and the kids were playing on it, and Jen's like, can you move that? And I'm like, I don't know, they're building a Lego thing on it. She's like, that was $450. And I'm like, get your crap off the book. I've never cracked open once. Again, it's a nice book, but holy smokes, man. Insane. Yeah. Photography went from you had to have disposal cameras on the tables to now you have to have a photo booth. Average cost of a wedding photographer is $3,000. Don't forget the additional cost for your videographer,

which is $1,900. And don't forget the photo booth, which for some reason the DJ brings, not the photographer. It's set up to nickel and dime you every which way. And that photo booth

is an additional average of $200 an hour. Weddings are five to six hours. I know I've heard about people having fun weddings sort of before. All these add-ons even existed. How do they do that?

It sounds impossible. I guess people back then just enjoyed each other's company or something. Can't be that. Well, if we're paying a photographer this crazy amount, what else are they taking photos of? I know that there's lots of photos of stuff that are not people. Right. Well, there's the flowers. By the way, the average cost of wedding flowers as of $2,400 for one day. Can you have a wedding day without flowers in the bouquet? I suppose, or just, look, even the bouquet could be cheap. You could bring it. What about the rest? I mean, despite what the wedding industry says it's completely not necessary to have flowers at your wedding to make it a

wedding. Not to mention how terrible using flowers is for the environment. According to Tree Nation, there is... Which doesn't sound like a sort of biased thing at all. Tree Nation. Their agenda might be right there in the name, but I mean, there's got to be something to it. There is a significant environmental impact associated with the intensive farming of fresh flowers. That makes sense to me. It does. I mean, if you're putting fertilizer on them and watering them, them and using artificial lights, fine. If you're growing them outside, I don't see the big deal. But then again, I don't know if they're actually grown outside or if they're all grown with artificial crap and greenhouses in a city somewhere. I really have no idea. Maybe a wedding can

get away with no flowers, but the photographer is there to take tons of photos of the dress. That was a whole thing. It might not be white, but doesn't a bride need a dress? Those are expensive too. Yeah, well, dressmakers and designers are the next to profit off the big day. We mentioned the concept of a white dress being expensive, and that holds true today. White or not? The average cost of a wedding dress is $2,400, and you wear it once. The average cost of a wedding outfit for a groom is $1,000, and don't overlook the cost of the wedding party's attire. There are an average of five bridesmaids and five groomsmen in a wedding party, and all have to spend an average of $200. Plus, there's the flower girls, ring bearers, mother of the bride, grooms, guests, etc. And it's not just for

the wedding anymore. Brides buy dresses for the rehearsal dinner, the day after brunch. And you've heard about the trend of a reception dress that's different from the wedding dress? I wonder who came up with that, but I will be honest. We had to do that because Jen and I practiced a dance and we were like, let's do it once in your wedding dress. And she was like, this is actually impossible. So we ran to the mall to some store and bought a dress that she could dance in because otherwise it was going to be just me carrying her around the dance floor while trying not to trip on lace. How was that in relation to the wedding?

Was that the day before or day of? So that was kind of a scary moment for us, and I put scary in quotes because it was buying a dress. But we'd practice for months doing this dance, and Jen's like, don't screw it up. And I'm a terrible dancer, and it took me months to even be able to do

like these basic, basic moves. And then I got pretty good at it. But a couple days before our dance instructor was like, hey, you should really bring in the dress and practice. And we did, and it was a disaster. And then he's like, all right, just come back tomorrow. We'll do another one.

It'll be fine. We did another one. And it was like, I can't even walk in this thing with the shoes and the dress. It's not even going to happen with the dancing. But it wasn't like, oh, traditionally I need a reception dress. It was like, I can't move in this crappy-ass wedding dress. That's probably in my closet somewhere. But most people nowadays, with or without the dancing, there's a reception dress.

And obviously that was come up with, I'm guessing, not the bride who has to spend on it, but the dressmaker. I mean, in addition, hair and makeup for the bride is an entirely different expense. surveys show that the average cost of hair and makeup for weddings is about $300, but now women do trial runs, weeks before their wedding, and they shell out $200 on the trial run. I mean, that makes no sense to me. Look, no. We're guys, we don't wear a lot of makeup, but a trial run of your makeup? I'm surprised there's not a trial run party, or is there? George, seriously, stop giving the wedding industry ideas.

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All of this to look good for a few hours, granted it's photos, you're probably going to look at them or show them to people, but damn, that's expensive. That adds up so fast. I mean, those few hours have a base cost that it's exorbitant. Venues jack up the price for a wedding. An average venue costs $11,200. And that doesn't include anything except the space. They provide couples with a list of their approved vendors, making it difficult to use a vendor that might give the couple a better deal. Everything has to be approved.

That's kind of like a cartel pricing thing. And it makes sense because my friend got married recently and she, the bride, was consultant at McKinsey and a PhD, very brilliant and very talented person. And she's like, oh, what centerpieces do we have or what candles? I can't remember what it was. And they're like, here are your three options. And she's like, these are hideous. I'm bringing my own. And like, oh, you can't. It's a fire hazard. And she's like, no, it isn't. The candles are all electronic. I just want a different colored thing that goes around it. And they're like, no, it's a fire hazard. And she was like, I'm not doing anything with you because you know this is b. And they were like,

okay, fine, it's not a fire hazard, and you can do your own thing. But it was a whole thing. They charged her a fee to bring in the thing that she paid for that she wanted because the ones that came with their vendors were ugly. It was total nonsense. You're right, though. It's a cartel thing. I mean, they're all connected. For my wedding, I got the photographer through the DJ, the caterer, everything. They were all connected. They all had to be approved by the venue. Look, I get the guy bringing in speakers and wires needs to be insured. Okay, that makes sense. But when you're talking about, oh, you know, this chair cover is kind of gross and doesn't match. Can I just buy chair covers? And they're like, no. You have to rent ugly ones at a cost that's higher than buying the ones that you

want. It's like, that's just extortion. And then there's the pressure to provide entertainment and have fun after you spend all the money. Speaking of DJs. I know. The pressure to have fun is ridiculous. And then let's speak of the entertainment. There's the cocktail hour entertainment and the wedding DJ and the band. According to the knot, the cost is on average $1,200. I was at a wedding once and the $2,000 DJ just used Spotify, but he didn't pay for the premium subscription. So I'm sitting there and a fucking commercial comes on.

No, no. That is awesomely terrible. Commercials at a wedding. Wait a minute. I think I'm seeing a new trend here. Wedding product placement. but I'm also, I just want to sort of relive for a moment. Everyone's like, oh, I love this song.

Celebration time come. By the way, do you know that you can get fresh ingredients shipped to your home with blue apron? It's just like you're all standing there on the dance floor waiting for some guy like me to do a voiceover for a mattress and or blue apron or something like that. And then it gets back to the next track. That's a little bit too ghetto for me. Well, I saw the drunk brother-in-law up at the DJ booth giving the guy an earful. it did not go unnoticed. I mean, for $2,000, get the premium service dude.

Yeah, that's shameful. But let's talk about wedding product placement. I know that's a thing because I know the Kardashians, unfortunately, and don't laugh why I know that. But I know they had a whole thing where they probably profited on their wedding because people paid to have their stuff there and it was a whole thing. It was a whole production, literally. Oh, absolutely. And you don't need to explain why you know about the Kardashians. I have a wife, too.

I know all about the Kardashians. We keep up. This is a new tradition. It's the unveiling of the sponsors. If it helps with the cost, then hell, I'm for it. Because as it is, couples have to organize all these costs and fees with the help of a wedding planner, which is different from the wedding day coordinator. According to the real wedding study, the average cost of a wedding planner is $1,900. dollars. Generally speaking, coordinators charge anywhere from $500 to $2,500. I don't even know the difference, nor do I really care, but all of those costs are really adding up. Gosh, unbelievable. Well, every person in your family and all your friends become a monetary number and cost to you. That's the result. So a day that is all about love and community turns into the couple asking themselves, is this person worth this dollar amount to me? These are the considerations couples have to make. before they send out the invitations.

Sorry, buddy. I, $300 like you, but this is a $600 per guest wedding. I actually do remember making that calculation a lot when making our guest list, and it was kind of sad. My mother-in-law, for example, had all these people she wanted to invite, whatever, fine. And my wife had people she wanted to slash had to invite. And my parents, of course, had a couple of people that they wanted to invite. And when it got to me, I was like, uh, well, there's not a whole lot of room left.

I told a lot of my close friends, I'd love to have you, but here's the thing. It's going to be expensive for you. It's going to be expensive for me. Let's just not do it. And they're like, hey, man, no offense taken, because we're all dudes and it's all fine. Yeah. But we saved 13 grand from me just not inviting my college roommate who didn't care, but also kind of crappy that none of those people were there, but the facialist for my mother-in-law showed up and caused us a G. It was like, really, dude? Wow. Now we have to send out notices that an invitation will be coming. Do you remember Save the Dates from when you were young? Not really, but I know we sent them out for our wedding. Save the dates started in the mid-2000, an invitation before the

invitation. What a scam. Yeah. Save the dates average about 100 for 100 cards. If you want an address printed on the envelope, there's an extra fee. Return address, that'll also cost you. People get suckered into magnets or other unique ways to save the date. Plus, the actual invitation costs an average of $500. And don't forget the cost of the thank you cards. So here's what's funny. The save the date thing, I've seen the magnets and I thought this is a terrible idea because you essentially have a refrigerator magnet with an expiration date, right?

Because one, you get an invitation a few months after and it's like, well, I really don't need to save the date, but I'll keep it until the wedding. And then the wedding happens and dot, dot, dot, dot, my mom has saved the date magnets from people that have been married for like six years. Or even better, we have saved the date magnets from people who never. actually got married at all. And they're still on the fridge. And I'm like, oh, how are Joni and Mitchell doing? And she's like, oh, yeah. So what happened was, and it's always sort of scandalous, but meanwhile, there's a refrigerator magnet to commemorate the time that Mitchell got a little bit too drunk at a strip

club and started being hansy and Jeannie or whatever decided to call the whole thing off. And it was probably only at the tip of the iceberg. But everybody who's got that magnet and hasn't thrown it away, which is every person over, you know, 70 years old who got it is like, oh, Oh, yeah, those two, with the creepy handsy strip club guy. Yeah. It's sort of sadly hilarious. Yeah, well, I can top that because I have a save the date for a couple that got married and is now divorced, so. Oh, yeah, that's kind of even better.

At least the other couple called it off beforehand. Do people send invites to bachelor parties? I never really bothered to do that, but I also kind of wish that I did. No, don't do it. Stop giving the industry ideas. Bachelors and bachelorette parties cost friends and families big bucks. You don't want to add on to that. the average guy will drop over $700 on a local party and a whopping $1,500 on a destination party.

And I'm guessing the Bachelorette party costs more. I don't know. How much can a bottle of Stoli and a couple thousand rounds of machine gun really cost? I guess now some of the super Vegas ones can get pricey, but Bachelorette parties, the ones of my wife goes to? I'm like, so you're going where for what? And then you're going to see Cirque de Soleil, and you've got to buy special clothes for the whole thing? Yeah, it's all to do. It's like the wedding. It's absolutely ridiculous. My wife has a dress code for a

bachelor party she's going to in Vegas. A f*** dress code. She has to buy an outfit to match the theme of each day. Because this is not a single day bachelor at a party. No. I look at her dreading the cost in time. She's just so annoyed. This is one of her oldest friends. Oh, man. Bachelor parties tend to be multiple days affairs and can cost upwards of $200 a day. Many people surveyed state that each person attending a bachelor's party spend about a thousand bucks each. So instead of save the dates, friends should get notices to save their money. Send me an empty wallet. That's all you need to do. And there are still more wedding day costs.

Don't forget everyone has to get from the hotel to the ceremony and then to the reception. So transportation budget is baked into the industry's cake. According to a study, couples who hosted weddings with 50 or fewer guests spent $630 on transportation. while those with over 100 guests spent over at $1,100. God, everyone should just order a frigging Uber. You could even get the black, nice one. Yeah. And all the guests need a place to stay because after you drink the overpriced bar drinks,

that the couple is fronting, you can't go home, you might miss the day after brunch. Right. And if it's not an open bar, your guests hate you. I mean, totally. And the further a guest travels to a wedding, the more they spend. According to the wedding-wire study, guests that fly in for a wedding spend about 30, $1,300 on travel, accommodations, and food, while guests who drive spend around $500. And Jordan, the cost of the wedding gift these guests buy is not included in that cost.

Why aren't there industry regulations? Not that you can regulate away exorbiting costs. In fact, it's usually the other way around, of course. Is there anything sort of being done here about this? There is, kind of. But these venues and their mandatory vendors get away with it because people get so caught up in the spectacle. The venue we went with that kept our several thousand dollar deposit is definitely guilty of something like this. Yeah, I think a lot of people are like, oh, regulation, you're socialist.

What I'm saying is I want it to be more capitalist in that people are allowed to compete, which goes back to the vendor thing and my friend not being allowed to bring in her own centerpieces because it's a fire hazard, even though it totally wasn't. That is anti-competitive. It's funny, the solution to this capitalist debacle is more capitalism in a way. Absolutely. competition. How do couples pay for this? It seems to me there would be a savings if couples bought everything on their registry and skipped the party. Just buy yourself all the gifts you think you want, skip the party, and you've got lasting memories and a juicer. Great. Look, about a third of couples getting married in the next year plan to borrow up to $10,000 to cover wedding bills.

And according to a survey from student loan hero, another 16% are taking on $10,000 to $20,000 in debt, Well, 11% are expecting to borrow $50,000 or more. Wow, that is a mortgage in some parts of the country, not California. $10,000 here, $10,000 there. I mean, you're talking about real money. Yeah, and we haven't talked about the honeymoon expectations and the expenses. In 2022, the average cost of a honeymoon was $5,100, not including the loss of taking off work. That includes getting scammed for the honeymoon suite.

Yes, of course. Think about that. The wedding costs $30,000 one day, but taking a week off work and traveling somewhere, exotic costs five grand. Why don't couples cut out wedding day costs and take a better vacation? Did you take a honeymoon?

I did not take a honeymoon. I think Jen is still waiting for one. Maybe once the kids are out of the house in a couple decades, we'll go on a nice vacation. But you're right, the money I spent on the wedding would have paid for all of our vacation.

I'm going to be honest, it would probably pay for the rest of my vacations for most of the rest of my life, really. Exactly. For us, it turned out that our wedding was our honeymoon, I guess. We went to Vegas because after COVID, the appointment to get the wedding license was months in advance in L.A. Vegas just makes it so easy.

So we stayed off the strip. We caught a show, went to a fancy dinner at the Venetian, the couple that was at the table next to us paid for us because there's still nice people in the world. Vegas, it's not us. But it was like $100 for the license, $100 for the chapel. We were stressed when we realized we needed cash to tip the officiant whose name I can't even remember. But that picture a stranger took with my iPhone of us in our wedding attire, kissing in

front of the bouquet of flowers. Plastic flowers possibly, but who cares? Nobody has to know. But it was wonderful. It was amazing. It's a great picture. I mean, it really captures our love. It turned out to be such an adventure going to Vegas and doing this.

thing that so wasn't us, that I definitely wish that we had just done that to begin with. My wife hates social media to a fault. So I made a little post, and that was that. It was all about us. The hurtful thing is how people didn't validate our elopement. Our parents were offended, friends don't understand. Settie's show, the more money you spend on a wedding, the less likely you are to stay together. That's really interesting. And I'd love to dig into that at some point, but I assume when you said you consummated the marriage and then immediately sent a group text, you don't mean like immediately when you consummated the marriage, you sent a group text with the photo. That's a bit much, Michael.

No, no, no. We would never do that. Are you kidding? Send those pictures out for free? Not going to happen. Right. You can make an only fan that pays for the wedding that you should have had. Oh my God.

That's got to be a thing. If it's not already a thing. Oh, my God. Jen and I also wanted to elope and made the mistake of telling parents about it. about it and my parents were like, yeah, great idea. And so she's like, great, your parents are down for it. I'm going to go tell my parents and her parents were like, you are not doing that. Now that I say that we told a bunch of people, I think we probably needed to look up the meaning

of the word elope, but we blew it. Yeah, well, even after the honeymoon is over, the cost don't stop. The wedding industry is constantly making up new ideas to make money off this already saturated industry. The Save the Dates, the Photo Booth, and the latest I read about this, have you heard about this one? Trash the dress photo session. That sounds extremely wasteful. What is a

trash the dress photo session? Get this. Pictures taken some set days after the wedding when the bride essentially ruins her dress. Wedding photographers come back. They claim it's a great way to have one final creative photo shoot

while wearing your gown. But if you follow the money, all roads lead to this new tradition being thought up by the photographers. So The vendors make money, money, money. The caterer wants a rehearsal dinner, the day after brunch, and then all these people, these vendors, forget about you. Could care less if you stayed together for even a week.

That's a good point. And you know what? This is very clever because even if it's unintended, now you can't resell your used dress for somebody else who wants to buy a used dress and save money because it's ruined. So you pay the photographer, but now the product is actually destroyed. Again, they have to go buy a new one because there's fewer used dresses on the market

because people are wasting it by spending it. I don't know. What do you throw paint on each other or something with this? Some of it's paint, which is not beautiful looking, to have a woman in a wedding dress and all her friends spraying paint all over her. The majority of them tend to be on the beach, lying in the surf, the dress, and beats me why.

But I looked it up. A lot of ladies lying in the ocean with their wedding dresses on. Oh, yeah. I'm looking it up right now, and you're right. It's a lot of, like, engagement shoot where you're covered in paint, but you're at the beach getting sprayed and you're dragging the groom in his suit through the sand and vice versa

and rolling around. Oh, there's one where a guy is riding a motorcycle through a dirty puddle and spraying the bride. That looks kind of fun, actually. But anyway, don't do this, people. It's disgusting. And nobody has a first anniversary party because you can't afford one or kids or anything like that. I say forget about the wedding party. If you make it to one year of marriage, then we have a party to celebrate. There's so much capitalistic advertising to blame aside from De Beers, bridal magazines, and wedding expos. They bring all kinds of things together for acting rich for a day, from silverware, centerpieces, flowers, music, food, drinks, and on and on.

They all systematically overcharged couples. And like I said, researchers found the more couples spend on a wedding, the more likely they are to get a divorce. That's crazy. It is crazy. And I still find that so interesting. Is it that rich people get divorced more, or is there more to the story?

Okay, well, some studies suggest just that. The more money, the more stress in a marriage, and the more wealthy, the couple, the easier the divorce goes. But there needs to be stronger research to confirm that. Another aside from the wedding stuff, the divorce rate is actually going down. Good. There was a spike in the 70s after Ronald Reagan instituted no-fault divorce in California.

The fact is the notion that half of marriages end in divorce is false. It's closer to 41%. Okay. It's still crazy high. But, you know, score one for love, I guess, slightly more than a third. But the spending and debt statistics for couples are really terrible. Because everybody wants to manufacture a perfect day, they are sacrificing the quality of the rest of their life for a long time.

Yeah, they do. And I think it has to do with the notion of community buy-in. The more people at the wedding, the more spent on the wedding, the more pressure to stay together. Sadly, that mentality is backwards. couples who insist on the social performance of a wedding day to convince people that they're a good couple seem to be investing in that one party instead of investing in the hard work that really goes into a successful marriage. Again, couples that spend less stay together longer.

Eloping sounds better and better as we add all this up. I don't even want to know what my wedding cost. I only have a rough ballpark figure, but what can people do so they don't spend a year of their life planning a wedding and then 10 freaking years paying off the wedding? That's just it. put a down payment on a house and throw your wedding in your house. I like it. I mean, there's so many fun and creative, affordable alternatives. There's eloping, planning a nice dinner party, finding a backyard on and on. We recently stumbled upon a sunset ceremony at Key's View in Joshua Tree that was the officiant, the couple, and a few friends. But a ton of strangers watched respectfully,

and we cheered them on after they said I do. The point is, do you? Both of you really talk about all the possibilities with your partner before you get sucked into the business of a wedding. And if you want a huge expensive wedding, terrific. Just know what you're getting into and that you don't have to do anything except sign the papers. Well, I'm pretty sure we just ruined weddings. You're welcome, everyone. By the way, this was a suggestion from a show fan if memory serves. Many of our skeptical Sunday topics are suggestions from you. So, if you have an idea, Jordan at Jordan Harbinger.com. Give me your thoughts, your ideas.

We'd love to tackle that stuff that you guys want to know more about. A link to the show notes for the episode can be found at Jordan Harbinger.com. Transcripts are in the show notes. I'm at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn. You can find Michael Regulio

at Michael Regulio on all social media platforms or at least Instagram and good luck spelling Regulio. But we'll link it in the show notes. This show is created in association with Podcast 1. My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Robert Fogartaggety, Ian Baird, Millio Campo, Gabriel Mizrahi, and for this one, Michael Regulio.

Our advice and opinions are our own, and I'm a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. Do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love, and if you found the episode useful, please share it with somebody else who needs to hear it. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen, and we'll see you next time. You're about to hear a preview of the Jordan Harbinger show with actress and former Scientologist Leah Remini. There's a special department in the Scientology Organization. Their sole job is to go after those speaking out against Scientology.

That's all they do day in, day out. One of the directives says by Elvon Harvard says, find out what the person is seeking to protect and go after it. And I'm quoting now, if at all possible, utterly destroy. When you want to talk about, oh, it's like any other religion, you need to get your head out of your fucking ass and really understand what the difference is between having faith and having an organization that has a price list and has an organization dedicated solely for the utter destruction of people who leave. Scientology's goal is to make 80% of the planet Scientologists. Without Scientology, there's no hope for man. And that is the extremist attitude of every Scientologist on the planet. The leader's wife has been missing for years now.

What do you think happened to her? Where is she? I don't know that Shelley's a lot. I don't know where Shelley is. This is David Miscavage, the leader of Scientology, chairman of the board. This is Tom Cruise's best friend. Jordan, if you had a best friend that you knew had a wife that was with him all the time, wouldn't you say, bro, I haven't seen your wife?

Like, I need to see her. I'm sorry to worry that she's in a fucking freezer somewhere. No one's done that. I have been the only person that has ever inquired about Shelly Miscavage. To learn more about the dangers of the cult of Scientology from Leah Remini herself, check out episode 485 on the Jordan Harbinger Show. This episode is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know podcast. Finding a new great podcast shouldn't be this hard, so let me save you some time.

If you like the Jordan Harbinger show, you'll probably like Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers. It's one of those shows that makes you smarter in a practical. practical, useful way. Same curiosity vibe we go for here, just in a fast-focused format. Mike brings on top experts and asks the exact questions that you'd want to ask, and the topics are all over the place in the best way. Recently, they've covered things like why we care so much what other people think, the benefits of laughter, why sports fans get so invested, and what makes people like you or not. The through line is always the same. Smart ideas you can actually use in real life. Something you should know has been featured in Apple's shows we love,

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