The Jordan Harbinger Show - 971: Laughter is Life's Lubricant | Feedback Friday

Episode Date: March 29, 2024

A dinner party with friends was interrupted in one of the most embarrassing ways possible — and then it went viral. Welcome to April Fools' Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday (April Fools' Edition): A dinner party with friends was interrupted in one of the most embarrassing ways possible — and then it went viral! You could be upset about the all-day wardrobe malfunction nobody bothered to tell you about, or you could choose funny. Remember that time you ended up in jail and they took your offhand joke about wishing you were dead way too seriously? That escalated quickly. So you think you can avoid your ex's family with diligent planning around all possible social events? Try that in a small town. The Old Man and the Ski is something Ernest Hemingway never wrote. I hear she got wet in the company of a grateful stranger. That's why the lady is a tramp. The chances of Gabe bombing a job interview while succumbing to a puzzling medical condition? Exactly one in a vermillion. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [e-mail]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/971 This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, the lip filler leaking out of this over-engineered rodeo drive face of life advice. Gabriel Mizrahi. That was so gross, that one. I thought you'd like that one. I think I know where that came from, but I need you to confirm. I will. Okay. So it's our April Fool's Day episode, after all, and I had to get a little lippy. That should be your first clue. Oh, yeah. I'm addicted to lip filler. That's what that was. Yeah. From Bob. BOTCHT. Yeah, hold on. I am addicted to lit filler.

So, this is a show that I swear to God I only watch when I'm in like a hotel and I turn the TV on and I don't know how to work anything and this botched is on. That's my excuse. It's that and Dr. Pimple Popper. Sure. And that show, you can't turn it off because you see the before and after and you're like, what did you do to yourself? And you just can't stop watching. You can't look away. No.

No, it's so good. It's vile. And so this kid whose name is Jordan, which is one of the reasons I remember it, he used to be like a good-looking dude. He was like a looking kid in England. And then he started doing lip filler. And now he has like these weird cartoonish balloon lips attached to his face and they leak. So gross.

It's so vile. Oh, I feel bad for the guy, but I'm also like, dude, handle your business. On the Jordan Harbinger show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. Our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker. During the week, we have long-form conversations with a variety of amazing folks from Russian spies, cold case homicide investigators, national security advisors, astronauts, music

moguls, and tech luminaries. This week, we had a skeptical Sunday on bottled water. We had hostage negotiator Scott Walker with the methods of persuasion of hostage negotiation and Annie Jacobson on nuclear war and basically how fast to all of us are just going to die horrible, agonizing deaths. Definitely check that stuff out if you haven't already done so. On Fridays though, we share stories, take listener letters, offer advice, and generally pour a dash of silly oat milk in this otherwise scalding cup of serious life conundra.

Because we're doing something a little different on today's episode, taking a break from our usual dews fest and sharing some of the funniest, weirdest, maybe most surprising emails we've gotten over the last few months, only the last few months. We can't even go that far back because it ran out of time. Including a bunch of the embarrassing stories you guys sent us recently, which we really appreciate. And by the way, thank you for that. And don't worry, there will be some dues-worthy material on this one.

We just won't be laughing and bantering like a couple of lazy-ass morning show shock jocks from the 90s trying to run out the clock until the commercial break. I will never do that to you. There will still be advice. We're just going to let our hair down a little more today and take a walk on the lighter side of life. I mean, I'll be letting my hair down. Gabe, you don't have much to work with in that department. No. That bus cut is looking extra tight today.

I just did it. That's why. But, yeah, my metaphorical hair will still be a swing and. Today, don't worry. Oh, I'm not worried. So I promised to share an embarrassing story of my own today, so why don't I kick us off? Please, let's do it. I cannot wait.

What do you got? I've told several embarrassing stories on the show, but here's one of many that I probably could tell. I've got to save some for the next 10 years of doing the show, right? April Fool's. Hopefully not that many more ridiculously embarrassing things will happen to me. But years ago, that's my story. I'm sticking to that.

My friend sent me an adult film on my phone because it was one of those super ridiculous ones that was kind of hilarious and I'm not going to explain why. How many years ago? How old were you? No, I'm going to decline to answer that. I'm pleading the fifth on that one. Uh-huh. It was last week.

Let's just assume it was that the advent of mobile phones that can play videos. Just assume that. Okay. So I'm in the bathroom and I decide to play it while I'm on the toilet because why not? And I fully realize that this is the part where people are not going to believe that that's all I was doing while I was playing the video. But I'm going to leave that right there. Yeah, I'm leaving it right there.

Okay. So I play it and I'm like, whatever, this is not that funny. And I'm like, I probably have to turn the sound on. So I turn the volume up a little. But I'm like, I don't want anybody to hear it because there's, you know, there's people in the house. So I turn the volume up a little bit. And I'm like, okay, nothing. I turn the volume up a bit. And I'm like, all right, I got to turn the volume way up. This is one of those stupid videos where the volume is really low. And I can sort of hear it, but it's coming now quickly I realize from far away and it's very muffled. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Actually, more like, oh, yeah, really loud. Because that is when I realized that my phone is connected via Chromecast or whatever to the TV in my living room. Of course it is. Where my parents are sitting with my wife's parents having tea and chatting. Oh, no. I would die. Yeah.

Did you die in the bathroom? I may have. It wasn't even as creepy as it seemed. It was just gross, like real, oh, God, maybe it was actually. Yeah, it was pretty creepy. Yeah. You know what you are. You're addicted to adult videos.

Addicted to live. Yeah, well, I won't finish that one. Yeah, it was, that was bad. You know, what do you even do to recover from that, right? I don't know. That's one for the books. How do you explain it? Did you try or did you just pretend it didn't happen?

There's a moment where you go, do I just walk out there and pretend nothing happened? Or do I walk out there and be like, um, so my friend sent me? Like, that's not going to work. Right. If I do say so myself, this is a little bit of a stroke of minor genius. Nothing too dramatic. But I will pat myself once lightly on the back for this one. I walked out on the phone chatting like I came from the bedroom and I was just like taking a call.

Couldn't have been me. I'm on a phone call. You know, you can't stream something to the TV when you're on the phone. If you don't look like you're doing something weird, sheepish, you don't hide. No, I'm just on a phone call. Like, what? Did something happen? That's hilarious.

I mean, it's not like a. brilliant plan. No, but it's like the only thing I had in the moment, and I thought of it in like two seconds instead of being like so... Did it work, though? Did they believe you? I think I overthought the whole thing, because I think they were more confused about where the sound was coming from.

Oh, okay. And didn't understand this is coming from a phone that's connected remotely to a television. They're just like, oh, the TV has a porn on it, but the TV's off. And how could it have been me? Because I'm on a phone call. Right, of course. I think they just sort of gave up figuring it out, and nobody was like, hey, did you guys here porn blasting and Dolby Atmos?

Did you and Jen have a laugh about that later, though? That's hilarious. I don't even know if I told her. Might not have wanted to do that at that point. I thought you owed her some explanation for why. No. I thought if I hear about it from her, that means her mom said something. And I was just like, I'm going to leave that right there.

That is embarrassing. And it's funny because I saw this in a TV show and I can't remember. Oh, it was, do you remember that show Love on Netflix? No. There's an episode where he plays an adult video in the bathroom and forgets that his phone is connected to Bluetooth. And it plays in another room with all their friends and his girlfriend and stuff are hanging out. And they just realized that he's trying to play. Oh, God.

Yeah. That's much more embarrassing. This must happen pretty frequently. Well, the thing is, sometimes your phone just, for me anyway, the phone just connects to whatever Bluetooth device. And if I've ever played anything on that device from my phone, it's like, do you want to play this on Glenn's TV? So there's, there's, I live next door to my brother-in-law. I'll play something on Spotify that's supposed to go in my gym, and Glenn will be like, hey, are you blasting dance music on my bathroom speaker?

And I'm like, oh, yeah, because I just fat-fingered it. And I hit, like, Glenn bathroom instead of Jordan Gym. Oh, is that what you call it when you go in the bathroom, watch an adult video? Fat-fingering. Yeah, that's what I call fat-fingering. Well, that's just a little PSA for anybody who is addicted to lip filler, I guess. Added to Lip-Filler. Another quick one for you.

So, as you all know, I do my own ad reads on the show, the commercials are in my voice basically. And over the years, there have been a couple of really bad ones or ones that didn't go over so well. And we can put it that way. There's one where I compared the sponsor to Crystal Meth. And it was something like, looking for something fun and sparkly this Valentine's Day, try Crystal Meth. Even Heisenberg himself could be certain to throw with a V-Day gift from Blue Nile. And it even included that wicked smart physics meets Breaking Bad joke. Oh, the Blue? No, with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle right and his Heisenberg in the series. Oh, I didn't even catch that.

I'm not that smart. I thought it was a reference to how his meth was perfect and blue. Well, that's good. I didn't even make that connection. So anyway, needless to say, the sponsor was like, we are not thrilled and we are not paying you for that ad. Oh, they just didn't do it. And I was like, oh, I guess I'll give you a makeup ad, no problem.

And they were like, no, no you won't. We are canceling this whole campaign. Of course, the agency that gave that to me was thrilled. They were just like, great job, dude. So later on, I get a call from them. This is like a month later, maybe six weeks later. I get a call from the agency, and they're like, so Blue Nile wants to come back and they want to buy a bunch more ads.

And I was like, really? I think you're wrong about that because actually they've refused to pay for that ad because I really blew it. I compared their product to drugs, which is like the biggest no-no in the game. And they were like, actually, that ad was one of the most successful ads they've ever run anywhere. So they want you to do it again, but they don't want you to make that joke. They want you to be funny again. And I was like, absolutely not. I will take that, but I am not going to be funny again because that means I'm not going to get paid again. So I just did like straight

ad reads that were kind of like cutesy. And they were like, oh, it's not performing that well. And I was like, here, told the agency, I was like, listen, guys, I love Blue Nile. They're great. But I can't make a really awesome joke that's edgy and then not get paid. But then they want the performance to be like that joke that's edgy because I got so many DMs that were like, that was the funniest commercial I've ever heard on your show or any show. Friends of mine from like Japan were like, I can't believe you said that about Blue Nile. By the way, I went to their website. There's some great stuff. So it's like it's only works if it's edgy, right? So they always want you to like thread the needle on that and it's basically impossible. There was another ad for the New Jersey Tourism Board

and it was really blank sort of like basic copy because it's tourism in New Jersey. No offense. love my New Jersey folks, but I don't know if I'd fly across the country to check out in New Jersey. So they listed a bunch of attractions, and I'm like, there's no way to make this interesting, unless I do the whole thing in like a 1950s New Jersey accent. And I did. The feedback was, this is great. But can you do another one without the accent at all? And I was like, no, no, I can't.

Oh, you said no. Of course I did it without the accent, but it was. boring out of the world because it was just like, go to the shark aquarium in New Jersey. You'll love it. It's so fun on the boardwalk in New Jersey. It was something like that. It was way more fun when it was like Boston, Brooklyn, New Jersey mobster meeting, circa 1958.

They didn't love your soprano's read. That's such a bummer. No. And I listened to it recently and it was not good. It was not good at all. And I'm kind of glad that we never really rolled with that one. Yeah, fair enough. All right, Gabe, what is the first banger out of this very strange, very interesting mailback?

Well, interesting joys of words, because this one's a banger on two levels. Uh-oh, can't wait. All right. Dear Jordan and Gabe, one morning, after a rather intimate moment with my boyfriend, we casually disposed of the used condom in the waste paper basket beside the bed. Later that evening, during dinner with some friends, my dog Jesse made a dramatic entrance, coughing and appearing to choke on something. Oh, no.

The husband of one of my friends jumped up to see what was going on, looked in his throat, and said, something was stuck in it. Oh, no. No, no, no. We then all watched in horror as he pulled that morning's discarded condom out of Jesse's mouth. Oh, that is so gross. That's great. That's horrifying and great.

Ten out of ten. That friend probably washed his hands for a week after that. Yeah, with bleach. You probably think, yeah, I'm never going to touch my wife's best friends, boyfriends use prophylactic. That's never a thing that's going to happen in my life. And then this happens while you're rescuing a dog and you're thinking, I'm doing a good deed right now. What is this? And I wonder why was the dog drawn to it?

I don't really want to get into that. No, me either. But maybe the dude eats a lot of pineapple or something. So gross that went there. And I don't know why that would make a dog want to get into it. No, that's a good point. But also like, oh, let's just leave that there. Maybe it was like a, never mind.

No. So she goes on. Several weeks later, I was in a team meeting at the hospital where I work when a call came in for me. It was the Animal Protection League, and they said that they were investigating a report of dog neglect, and that they had heard that my dog had kennel cough. Halfway through the call, I realized I was actually talking to a radio DJ pretending to be from the Animal Protection League, and that the call was actually a live prank. Wow, so they punked her live on the air.

That's, ooh, that's embarrassing. Unbeknownst to me, the radio station had briefed the audience about the true story, using my real name, reaching every corner of my social circle. Wow. Everyone from my father's colleagues to my boss heard this. My boss was in the car at the time and was laughing so much she had to pull over. The hosts said that my story was one of the most embarrassing stories. they had ever heard.

Oh my God, your dad heard. I was like, oh, that's embarrassing in front of three of your friends. Your dad heard this and your boss. This must be a popular radio show wherever she lives if everybody heard that. That's so funny. Turns out that my friend,

the one whose husband performed the procedure on my dog and who I also work with, tipped off the radio station. She has a great sense of humor and thought it would be hilarious for everyone to know. My cousin was able to record the segment because it was played several times on the radio, and he played bits of it back to me whenever he could.

The radio DJ pretended to cough intermittently during the conversation, which led to people coughing in my presence. The segment became an instant hit in our New Zealand town, and this shocking moment turned into a story that we'd laugh and reminisce about. Four years. As my dad always says, laughter is life's lubricant. No pun intended.

Signed, a woman whose rep took off after her dog wandered in with a cough. How great is this story? That is a banger, a morning banger, actually, on many levels. The first part of the story with the dog was funny enough, but then the radio prank definitely takes things to 11. And it's a bold move for your friend to pull. She must know you really well to put you on blast like that. I don't know if I could ever.

In the U.S., it's not really, well, I'll get there in a second, I suppose. That was handled delicately and well. Yeah, there's got to be a lot of love there. I do wonder if being from New Zealand has something to do with it. I do feel like Kiwis are way better at laughing at themselves than we are. That's my perception, too. They have that British thing of taking the piss and being willing to be the butt of a joke. And I think that's great.

It's a good mindset. I love it. I mean, they can be kind of vicious sometimes, but it's hilarious. They've elevated it to an art form as far as I'm concerned. That's actually what I love about this story, right? That our friend here was able to laugh about this. If this happened in the States where I was going earlier, I feel like the letter would have ended up with something like, so that's how I got fired and dumped, and now I don't, can't trust my friends.

friends that I'm in therapy for these trust issues and I'm lonely. This thing her dad said, laughter is life's lubricant. Spot on. Absolutely spot on. My question is if laughter is the lubricant, what part of life is the ribbing? Oh, you had to make it weird. That's what I'm here for, baby. Usually it's dark Jordan. I guess today it's weird Jordan. Yeah, it's 12 year old Jordan. Anyway, such a great theme for today's episode. Kind of the reason we wanted to do this whole embarrassing stories episode, because if I've learned anything from humiliating myself over the years, it's that the best way to cope with these moments and not be totally devastated by them is to have a sense of humor. Whereas if you get super proud or you're defended or you run away, the shame just gets worse.

Plus, what a great contribution to their, you know, their friend and family lore. Every time somebody coughs, they all just pause and give her the side eye and then they break up into laughter. I think it's adorable. Oh, yeah. They're going to dine out on this one for years, which it's so good. What a way to kick off, man. Thank you for sharing the story.

Kudos to your dad for that money quote. It might just be a feedback Friday runner. Gabe, I'm guessing they don't throw their condoms away in the bathroom trash can anymore. I feel like a dog could have died from that, which would have been not funny at all. No good story. There's probably a toss that in the kitchen trash policy in their house now. I'm guessing one of those trash cans with a lid that you can only open with human hands, I would think. Right.

You get a step on the thing. Dude, after this, I'd be walking stuff out to the bin on the street. You know, like those sharps containers that only go in one direction? You need that, but for your prophylactics. Congrats on your active sex life. All right, you know what else could choke a dog? The great deals on the products and services that support this show. We'll be right back.

Thank you for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers does keep the lights on around here. To learn more and get links to all the great discounts you have just heard so you can check out the sponsors for yourself, searchable, clickable, Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. Now, back to Feedback Friday. Next up.

Hello, Jordan and Gabe. When I was 15, my church youth group, a group of teens ages 14 to 18, went on a water skiing outing. This was an opportunity I didn't have much in my family, so I wanted to fill the day with every activity and not miss out on a minute of fun. The day started out great, and everyone was enjoying themselves. Then came the banana boat, one of those toys you pull behind a boat that holds five people. I couldn't get enough.

I found myself on almost every ride because not everybody wanted to go. I made sure that there was never an empty spot. It was such fun. And even the wipeouts were great. But every time we fell off the boat, we had to pull ourselves back up. I didn't have the upper body strength to get back on, so the boys would always help me. They made me feel like it was no big deal, as someone would get behind me and push me up, always being respectful that we were in swimwear.

I also learned to water ski that day and once again, the older boys were there to help. At the end of the day, I was gathering my things and bent over to pick up my beach towel. My close friend gasped and told me that I had a huge hole in the seam of my swimsuit. Ooh, yeah, that's the yikes moment right there. That draft coming in? My mind flashed back to every time that day, 20 to 25 young men helped me up and had their hand on my butt cheek and my butt right in their face. I went to one of the boys, a friend of my brothers, and asked, has there been a hole in my suit all day? He just looked at me and said,

it's okay, we're all friends. I was mortified. Oh, well, I got to say, that's a very nice way to handle it. That kid sounds like, sounds like a class act. Having a good sense of humor, I realized that this could be awkward

or it could be funny. So I chose funny. Yeah, there's that theme again. I love it. And I know people are like, this is pretty tame, but she's 15, right? Isn't she, she's young.

Yeah, it was like humiliating, right? Yeah. It's like you stay up nights thinking about this one. I approached the bulk of our group, raised my hands, and took a bow. Thank you all for your help today, I said, and you're welcome for the show. Yeah, look, that's awesome. That's how you handle that. It's one thing to be able to laugh at something like this months or years later, that's great. But to do it right then and there to go up to a group of teenagers who just caught multiple glimpses of your extended undercarriage, bow and say, you're welcome for the show. I mean, that takes real stones, and you also have to do it the right way.

you don't look like you did it on purpose and, you know, your reputation is besmirched. I love that. Well done. Y'all have more courage than I do. I think I would probably just, I'm in the pretend it never happened camp and that never works. Except when I made that phone call. I was going to say. Yeah, that did work. Never mind. My strategy's fine. You can't do that with this one, though. I mean, it happened. Everyone saw. That's right. Yeah. Masterclass on how to handle that. Everyone had a good laugh and patted me on the back. But deep down, I was humiliated. especially when I got home and saw how big the hole was and what the view was.

Yeah, I bet. This is something you have a weird dream about. Like, you gotta go take a final exam, but you're naked or whatever. It's so exposing, literally. And I guess I could understand you're having fun. There's water all over you, so you don't necessarily realize that, like, one of your cheeks is hanging out. Over the years, it came up in jokes and such, but it was a great lesson in how to laugh, even though I wanted to cry. signed shrugging off my stiffness and leading with forgiveness after everyone caught a glimpse of my business.

Yeah, no joke. Well, look, I don't have a ton to add here. I just think even though this one initially I was like, oh, this is a little bit tame, but man, 15 years old, I couldn't have handled this. I think this is another beautiful story about rolling with the punches, being willing to laugh at yourself. You and our friend from question one are poster children for coping with shame. Although you deserve a special award for proactively owning this and choosing to laugh at yourself so publicly. made you do that. And that's sort of a heroic deed at that point. Yeah, she's an inspiration. I'm taking notes over here. Although I do think one of these kids could have maybe given her a heads up

about the, you know, gaping hole in her swimsuit. It's kind of messed up to just let her go through the whole day like that, but whatever. It's a good point that is kind of uncool, but also maybe they were enjoying the view a little too much, which is a little creepy, a little cruel, although teenagers are teenagers, or they were too embarrassed to tell her? Or I was thinking about this, right? Do you tell her and then her days kind of ruined? Because it's not like she can go get another swimsuit. Right. So then she just can't ride the banana and she's loving it.

So it's like, do we ruin this for her? When she doesn't get to do this ever. Right. This was her big day out. Because someone sees your butt. Like, who cares? You know, why ruin it for her? No, but you're right.

They might have been too embarrassed to tell her themselves. Their shame might have perpetuated her shame. Yeah, it's kind of fascinating because it's a great example of how shame makes everybody want to hide, avoid the issue. Yes. When all someone had to do, really, was take her aside and say, like, hey, no big deal. There's a little hole in your swimsuit. I just want to know if I were me.

here's a towel, or you can wear this pair of shorts and just get them wet, and I'll just, I'll just dry them when I get home. That would have been sweet. But, you know, when you're young, you don't always have the awareness or the language for moments like that. You just kind of, like, look away and pretend it isn't happening because it just feels easier, right? Maybe it even seemed like the nicer thing to do in that moment. Who knows?

Fair point. Could be. Anyway, the real lesson here is how masterfully and courageously you handled this. At 15 years old, again, that's why I'm kind of harping on this. If you were 30 on this happen, I would be like, that's another day in the life. Don't worry about it. But you should be proud of how you handled that. lesson is not to buy swimsuits that cost eight bucks.

Explorj on the slightly more expensive ones that won't disintegrate the moment they come into contact with water. That's right. No more H&M swimsuits after this story. No. All right. What's next? Hey guys. Years ago, I was arrested for embezzlement. After going through the strip search, the questions, the fingerprinting, all of that, I found myself sitting in a cement room with 12 bunk beds, 16 women and one toilet right by the door with no privacy, totally naked under my orange jumpsuit because my bra had an underwire and my underwear had too much elastic. It was the darkest moment of my life. Oh, man, I bet. Sorry you went through that. Jail is no joke, especially in the United States.

After all this trauma in one day, an officer asked how I was. I said to him, worst day of my life. Wish I was dead. Within two minutes, I was stripped naked. by four officers and put in a turtle suit in front of all of the women in the pod. Ooh, what's a turtle suit? What is that? So I actually had to look this up. It's a thick garment that you can't tear to form a noose or something. It kind of looks like a toga that's made out of like packing blankets. Okay, for a second, I thought they, I don't know why. It was like a turtle suit. You thought they made her dress up like a Halloween costume?

This makes a lot more sense. She goes on. I was then dropped into solitary confinement for three days, naked except for this turtle suit. It was a horrible experience and so embarrassing. Oh my God, I can imagine. I hear solitary confinement can do a real number on a person, probably even worse when your hoo-ha is exposed to the elements. Brutal. Not to make light of this, but it's kind of a great PSA for not stealing money from your employer. But now, many years later, funny as hell. Okay, that's a nice turnaround. Once again, I'm glad you can laugh about it. This is one experience I'm not sure I would be able to laugh at

because of the shame involved in getting arrested for embezzlement, et cetera. But, hey, that's great. Lesson learned, though. Be careful speaking your truth. Love the show. Love your lessons. Signed, a woman who walked through fire because of her underwire. Prison is a nightmare that I have often, actually,

because I've been through prisons, not as an inmate. But anyway, Gabe, jail and prison really do freak me out. It honestly scares me how little these places care for the people inside them. And I don't mean that, like, every officer's horrible. the guys I meet on the program and stuff, they treat the guys quite well, but this is a special program that I worked with, you know, the Hustle 2.0. But especially in America, you just hear absolutely psycho stuff from people coming out of jail. A guy will go in jail for something like, yeah, like embezzlement. And their life is just made a living hell by some sociopathic guard

for no reason, other than they just decided that they don't like you. Well, also, it's embarrassing on two levels, right? I mean, there's the indignity of going through what our friend here went through on that level, but there's also so embarrassing to be caught for a crime. Yeah. And then you end up in prison, you're like, oh, my God, how did I end up here? How did I do this? Yes. I know in countries like Norway, the prisons are amazing. Oh, my God. Have you seen those documentaries where they show them? Yes. They're nice. They're nicer than most apartments in America, actually.

It's so bizarre. You have more space than you have in a New York apartment and you, you know, you can do kind of whatever you. They'll show a guy like playing Xbox with his feet up and he's like, up, got to go to work. And it's like, you're in prison right now. They show the inmates, if you can even call them that, in these apartments, and they're cooking dinner with knives and stuff. Yeah. You're like, what? The guy's like, yeah, when I get out, I'm going to become a chef.

I really enjoy cooking. It's like, what are you in for? Yeah, I was a gang member who like traffic drugs and what? So it's a totally different system. It's a different culture. That's a whole other rant. But it is horrifying to see what goes on in a lot of these facilities. A lot of the corrections officers, and again, not all, of course, but a lot of them don't

care at all about the inmates, either because they're cynical and, you know, desensitized or they've been treated poorly by crazy-ass inmates over the years. And maybe they kind of have to be that way over time. But I also think some of them really, you know, right in, if you're a corrections officer, do you have a colleague that just likes to treat people like crap? I bet every single CEO listening to this is like, oh yeah, that's that guy who came in and is like itching to beat someone's ass or whatever, take away their stuff. Well, I also think a lot of them are like, screw these people, right?

They're criminals. They don't deserve to be treated. perfectly, but it's like, well, first of all, innocent till proven guilty, right? So this person you're forcing to strip down in front of everybody, they could be innocent, so maybe be a decent person. But also, it's not like this CO, the one in this letter, worked in a high security prison monitoring violent inmates or death row inmates. Our friend here stole money from her company, which is obviously wrong. I mean, that doesn't mean she deserves to be humiliated or that she's like super high risk. No, in fact, I'm going to go ahead and guess that after her arrest,

she ended up with probation or something, because that's not a crime that we prioritize throwing people in the slammer for for a long period of time. That's what really concerns me about our system, just how cruel and unfeeling it can be. And it's easy to ignore that or discount it because to your point, most people are like,

eh, they're deadbeats, they're low lives, they did terrible things. Why should I care if they're ashamed? Why should I care if they're uncomfortable if they even think about this at all? I think most people don't. But if you ever ended up in jail, possibly for a mistake or something you didn't even do,

I'm sure the policies in our criminal justice system, they would suddenly become extremely relevant to you. Sorry, I'm not trying to get on my soapbox here at all. It's just something I think about sometimes, especially since I led that prison workshop, now going four years back, my 40th birthday. It really opened my eyes to a part of life that most of us, if we are lucky, are just never going to have to see. This is also an interesting story about using shame as a weapon. I'm not sure if that was intentional on the jail's part or on the CO's part, but on some level they must know that treating people this way. I mean, this guy thought she might have been suicidal. So it's like maybe we should be a little bit compassionate to this person.

Right. I don't know. It just kind of makes me sad. He started off compassionate like, hey, you doing okay? No, not really. This is terrible. Oh, you know what can make it worse? Solitary confinement.

Put on the suit. Yeah. It's like, and you got a dress in this weird blanket thing that doesn't let you pee, right? It's very sad. But what's sadder is that that's not even near the top with a list of problems in our country. Anyway, sorry this happened to you. It sounds awful, but you also embezzled money from your company, which I'm sure you know was wrong and probably regret.

And unfortunately, these can be the consequences. You didn't deserve most of this. You could have been punished in process without being humiliated. But again, I'm glad you can laugh about this. If you can laugh about something as disturbing as this, you can probably get through anything. There's real resilience in that. That and not taking money out of the cash register at work anymore.

Embezzlement to me, is that like you pocket money out of a register, or is that like you're forging documents so that you can move stuff into your own account. It's both, isn't it? I think it can be any, any of those. All right. What's next? Hey, y'all. I live in a big, small town. The population is about 400,000, but I still seem to run into someone I know everywhere I go. Sometime back, I was invited to a bridal shower and a wedding for the same couple. By accident, I mixed up the location of the wedding rehearsal with the address for the bridal shower. When I showed up, I was surprised and very embarrassed to find that it was a funeral and not just any funeral, but the funeral of my ex's grandma.

Oh, wow. What does Zany mix up? This is like a Paul Rudd movie or something. It didn't help that I was in a black dress with a colorful present in my hand. That is a great image, just rolling up to a funeral, holding a massive gift with a huge bow and a sign that says, congratulations. Yeah, yeah. It's something like Kristen Wigg would do in a movie.

Yes, with Paul Rudd. It's the same movie. Of course, same movie. I talked with my ex, his mom, and his brother consoled them for a bit, and then bounced. Luckily, we didn't end on terrible terms, so it wasn't all bad. Just very awkward. Signed, still living down the sensation of allowing a logistical conflation to lead me to the wrong celebration. This is great.

So just to make sure I'm understanding this, Gabe, she accidentally went to the wedding rehearsal venue, but on the wrong day. Yes. Because she was supposed to go to the bridal shower venue. and on that day the wedding rehearsal place was hosting her exes' grandmother's funeral. Yes, that's exactly right. What are the odds of that?

That you would go there, there'd be something happening and it would be somebody you know. Slim, I would imagine, but she did say it was a big small town, so not totally crazy, but yeah, still unusual for this to happen. I guess the only lesson you can really draw

is it pays to be on good terms with your exes. Otherwise, a running like this would be so awkward. The other lesson is to be super careful with your Google calendar, I think, so you don't put the wrong address. for the event. I'm glad she showed up with a wrapped gift and not like a short dress and a pallet of dick-themed cupcakes.

That would have been awkward. Oh, my God, that's so funny. Yeah, I just really clicked with your grandma. She was a nice lady, you know. We shared a love for fallac confections. Like, how do you cover for that? So I brought you some carrot cake schwances, but I got to go. And I got to go to Safeway and replace this gift for the bridal show.

Where am I going to find dick-themed brownies in short notice? What a fun day. I would be thinking about this for a while. And then when you go to the next event, you have a great story to tell you. You're like, you would not believe where I went before this. Yeah, I just popped off at a funeral.

You can reach us Friday at Jordan Harbinger.com. Please keep your emails concise. Try to use a descriptive subject line that makes our job a lot easier. If you're finding dead squirrels in your mailbox, your future is being hamstrung by a $180 million judgment against you or your abusive dad is himself being abused

in his old age. Whatever's got you staying up at night lately. Hit us up Friday atjordanherbanger.com. We're here to help and we keep every email anonymous. Okay, what's next? Hey, Jordan and Gabe. I learned to snowboard in Utah with some friends of mine.

After a season, I was feeling pretty good about things. My snowboarding skills were decent, but not amazing. All right, I'm excited about this one. I'm learning to snowboards, so it feels relevant to me right now. One sunny day, the snow is perfect, and the ski resort is busy. I'm with my boyfriend zipping down the run, and I see a man on skis a few yards in front of me. obviously for the very first time in his life,

and a woman on each side of him teaching him how to ski. The following events happened in slow motion. I realized that I needed to change lanes on the ski run or otherwise I would crash into him. I was going too fast to slow down and stay a safe distance behind him. I looked to my right,

there were way too many skiers and borders in the way. To my left was the edge of the run and trees. I had lost my window to change lanes. The tip of my board had already entered the space between his skis. Oh my God. If I had tried to stop or slow down, the movement would have tipped him

and the two ladies over and then I would have crashed into them. Before I knew it, the man and I were pressed together like two dragonflies mating in a forest. Great visual. Gravity was pulling me harder, though,

and I literally crouched down and traveled in between this guy's legs and came out the other side. Wow. That's actually really hard to do. Like, I could never do that kind of thing on purpose. That's very, very difficult. Good ankle mobility.

No one was hurt, thankfully. My flexibility saved us. There you go. But I was hugely embarrassed. I mean, why? I'm not sure why, yeah. Yeah, your scalp grazed his undercarriage. This doesn't sound that bad to me.

It sounds like you avoided a much more serious accident. And frankly, I can see exactly how this happened, right? When you're on a snowboard, if you're looking at something, you almost always travel towards it when you're a beginner. So they say, like, don't look at the kid who wiped out in the middle of the run. Look to the left or the right of them or to all the way off. the run, don't look at that, because you'll end up just not knowing how to switch lanes and crash. So this is almost certainly what happened. And then the reason she couldn't stop is because

you have to turn your board sideways. So if her board is parallel to his skis and she corkscrews it to go perpendicular, everybody's going to wipe out and it could be pretty bad. So she somehow, I would have just fallen backwards and probably hit the guy with my board, but apparently she was flexible enough to stay balanced on the board and go right between his legs, which is actually kind of incredible. What's worse, on my way out, like a newborn calf in the morning due, the man said, honey, you have made an old man very happy. Oh, gross. I love this woman's descriptions. The dragonflies mating like a newborn calf in the morning dew. Wait, who's like a newborn calf in the morning do? She or the or the guy? Yeah, that's unclear. Although I'm getting the

sense they were both reborn that day. Yeah, maybe. Probably the most action this guy has seen in years. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, I'm thinking this guy was like, so that was what was pressed up behind me this old time? Yeah. My boyfriend noticed the whole thing, and instead of laughing his head off, he was embarrassed for me, which is how I realized that he wasn't the one, signed Stumbling into a Nope, after tumbling down the slopes. Interesting. So that's actually the best part of the story, how your boyfriend's reaction told you all you needed to know about him.

That's a deal breaker, isn't it? If you can't laugh about the same stuff with somebody, it's like game over. Yeah, and it's not even just the same stuff. 100% though. That feeling when you want to laugh about something and the other person doesn't find it funny, or they're laughing at something and you don't find it funny, it's just like, uh, uh, that's no good too. We're on different wavelengths for sure, but there's more here, I feel like.

I'm trying to put my finger on it. It's just like a lonely feeling when you want to laugh about something and the other person can. It's vaguely annoying. The dude sounds lame. He sounds like a freaking square. Yeah. Yeah. He couldn't laugh at this.

He was embarrassed for you, which means like he's got this. weird shame thing that's going to come out in all sorts of weird ways that would have affected her and other people around him, that's not good. Possibly. I can't quite put my finger out of it, but if somebody's like, ooh, I'm embarrassed for you. It's like, well, you take yourself way too seriously, and that's not going to work for me. So I think you made the right choice. Ditch the dude, stick with the skiing, slopes before mopes. That's what I say. Do you say that? Is that a thing? Yes, I just made that up. I say that now. Oh, wonderful. Very specific catchphrase. I don't know how often that one's going to come up, but I do like it.

I'm going to file that one away for when I see a couple arguing on the ski lift. It slopes before mopes, folks, as I glide past them and shred pal, bra, and then gradually press up against somebody like a dragonfly mating in the springtime. So good. What poetry you have given us today, my friend. What a funny story. Way to chuckle through an awkward situation and part ways with a guy who's more concerned about appearances than being able to laugh about a funny moment with a stranger.

Deal breaker forsooth. You know what else is like a newborn calf in the morning do, Gabriel, the fresh deals on the products and services that support this show. We'll be right back. If you like this episode of Feedback Friday and you found our advice valuable, I invite you to do what other smart and considerate listeners do, which is take a moment and support our sponsors. All the deals, discount codes, and ways to support the show are all searchable and clickable at Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. Or you can email me, Jordan at Jordan Harbinger.com. If you're lazy, you can't remember the name of a sponsor, I will happily surface that code for you.

It is that important to support those who support the show. Now, back to Feedback Friday. Okay, what's next? Hey, guys, I'm 38 years old, and from the ages of 19 to 23, I worked in a hardware store. We had a station outside to fill propane tanks, and we had to go fill tanks in all sorts of weather. One early spring day, it was pouring rain, torrential. A guy shows up with four tanks he needs filled. He offered to hold an umbrella over me, but customers weren't allowed inside the

caged propane fill area, so I ended up soaked. Afterward, we went back into the store so he could settle up, and he kept thanking me over and over for going out in such bad weather to help him. I wanted to say, no problem, I'm a champ, or no problem, I'm a trooper, but what came out of my mouth was, no problem, I'm a tramp. Okay. Crickets. He looked at me, I looked at him, he turned around, and left. I think about this often and wonder how many people this guy told about the tramp at the hardware store, signed Still Stung and Wide-Eyed at that time I got tongue-tied. This is kind of funny. Something similar happened to me recently.

I was at Trader Joe's a few months ago, and I remember that day I was really tired, and I was kind of out of it, and I was just like trying to get in and out. And this woman bumped into me by the produce, and she turned around, she was like, oh, I'm sorry. And I was about to say, no problem. But then in the middle of the sentence, I decided to say, nah, you're good. but it came out as nah you're a problem oh god it's kind of scary actually

it freaked her out and this woman looked at me so confused and kind of offended and it took me a few seconds to realize what I had just said and before I could explain or correct myself she walked away so I was just like oh no you don't know

I'm not trying to be an asshole but that's what she thought I said that's great I've definitely done stuff like this like I found the tramp thing I'm like the guy never he probably just thought he misheard that's the end of it right but probably It's weird how we all remember that stuff from ourselves. It's like when the waitress goes, all right, enjoy your meal, and you go, you too.

And you're like, oh, God, she thinks I'm an idiot. No, she's heard that like 50 times today. She's not even listening to you. It's just a formality. What is the word for that? We talked about this before. Oh, the spotlight effect. Spotlight effect, yeah.

You think, like, everybody's paying attention to you, but really everyone's worried about themselves. Right, yeah. It's true, though, it has been months and I still think about this woman. Like, does she think she really is a problem? No. Did she go home and tell her husband? about this? And she was like, and then this rude man in Lulu Lemon shorts and a Ke Bonito had told me that I was a problem. Yeah, I think you might be overthinking this one,

but those empathy muscles might be a little overactive. Fair enough, you're right. Also, maybe she is a problem. Maybe she needed to hear that from somebody, you know? Like, how does he know? I appreciate that support. No problem. I'm a tramp. That's a good one. Well, that's one way to explain great customer service. I'm such a tramp for going above. I'm a slut for good customer service. And you and I are tramps for taking everybody's stories week after week. That's right. I love that she's 38 years old and she's still thinking about this.

I mean, it's been over 15 years. I love that the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you, Gabe, is I misspoke once at a grocery store to a stranger that I'm never going to see again. Actually, that is not the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me, and I have been saving a story for this episode. Thank God. So you do have one. Let's hear it.

Okay. So this one's from a while back. So when I was in college, it was my junior year, I found out about this industry called management consulting. And it sounded, I remember meeting this guy in a class and he was studying for the interviews. And I was like, what is that? And he's like, it's management consulting. It's this industry where, you know, you're like a doctor for companies. And I was like, that sounds so cool. I've never heard of this. And I went home and I googled it. 10, 15 minutes later, I was like, this is what I want to do when I graduate. But I was not qualified for this job whatsoever. I was a philosophy major. At the time I was

planning on going to law school after college. I had never taken a math class in my life. Well, not since high school. I knew very little about the business world. Dude, I didn't even own a suit. I mean, like, I had a lot of catching up to do. So I did a hard pivot, and I started positioning myself for the, you know, a summer internship at one of these consulting firms. So just imagine, you know, Q Rocky style montage of Gabe trying to reinvent himself, right? I started taking, like, I took a stats class. I started practicing for these consulting interviews, which are, you know, famously difficult and they usually involve case studies and brain teasers and all that horrible medieval torture stuff. And I went to all these events on campus and I ended up really clicking with the

people who worked at this one firm. It was this very prestigious firm that kind of had the reputation of being like the cool prestigious firm. And I ended up getting an interview there. And I cannot describe to you how badly I wanted to work at this place. So I cram for these interviews. I'm literally teaching myself how to do arithmetic in my head for the first time. I'm learning a lot. I'm getting better, but I am far from ready for these interviews. Like, I am way out of my depth. Oh, and I still don't own a suit. Okay? The only suit that I owned at the time, this is so embarrassing, was this chocolate brown wool suit I wore to my sisters about Mitzvah three years earlier. And also, the only dress shirt that I owned that went with it was this like vermilion,

silk dress shirt. Okay, I was down with chocolate brown suit. I was like, that's not that bad. But what is vermilion? What the hell is that? It's like a slightly brighter version of burgundy. It's like a deep red. Not anything.

Yeah, okay. So, of course, you owned a vermilion silk shirt. I know. It's like you want people to roast you. It's so, it's too easy. I had a feeling you would like that detail. Actually, I'm also remembering that the buttons on this shirt were on the opposite side from the usual side for no reason.

I don't know why. Just to be quirky and different, I guess. I feel like you're going to prom in the 60s with this thing. Yeah. And you're also roasting yourself at this point. I don't even have to do anything. I'm going to tell you in a moment why I remember the buttons thing. So anyway, in my head, I was like, I'm not dressed like the people on the website of this company.

Like, they're in grays and blues and stuff. But then I was like, eh, maybe this will play. You know, like maybe I'll stand out in the interviews and maybe they'll find it charming or something. Hashtag personal branding. Yeah. Like, oh, I stood out all right at the interview. so dumb. Like, not the time to be debuting an edgy ensemble, right? Like, I'm 20 years old with zero experience gunning for one of the most prestigious internships in the world. But sure, yeah, Gabe,

let's swing for the fences with this chocolate brown and silk vermilion number. So I show up to this interview. I look like I'm opening during happy hour at the Magic Castle. Exactly. Exactly. Dude, I am nervous. Like, I remember sitting in the lobby with all of these super impressive type A kids from UCLA and they're in their Navy suits and I'm like, want to see a card trick? You like close up magic kids? The smoke is coming from my fingertips. I've never been more unequal to a task in my life.

There are two interviews back to back. So the first guy calls me in and we're just like oil and water from the beginning. Like he's this real simple, dull corporate kind of dude and I, I don't know. I'm dressed like an extra from the devil wears probably. Okay? Yeah. And he hits me with one of these classic consulting questions. And the question was, and I remember it because it doesn't scar to me this question,

how many fuel trucks do you think there are in the United States? So like a classic kind of like math brain teasery question. You're supposed to figure this out just using your head. You're not supposed to Google anything, obviously. No. Right. You're supposed to just guess, make estimates? That's the whole exercise.

Wow. And in my head, I'm like, sir, I just found out about this industry three weeks ago. I have no freaking idea to answer that question. But, okay, if I did, here's how I would do it. And look, it's not a total disaster, my answer, but it's not going well, right? At one point, I look down on my notebook where I'm doing my math and the zeros keep adding up. And I just cannot keep track of the zeros. Like, I don't know if I'm talking about millions of gallons of fuel or tens of millions or hundreds of...

I'm just completely lost in the catacombs of my own increasing. ridiculously ridiculous calculations. And my handwriting starts to go swimming and the room suddenly feels really small and my heart is pounding. And I can feel sweat starting to pour off my forehead. And suddenly, dude, I am hot, like really hot. Like it feels like my whole body is a furnace. And now I am deeply regretting the wool suit and silk shirt decision. And I'm trying really hard. I'm trying really hard to hold it together and just get through this case study. And I kind of do but it's basically a disaster. And I just know that this guy is sitting across me thinking like, yeah, dude, there's no way

I'm putting you in front of an executive at Boeing or whatever. Not in that vermilion shirt. Not a chance. So then I go right into my second interview. And the second guy is actually super cool. And we get along really well. And I do way better in that one. But honestly, it probably wasn't that great.

So I go back in the lobby. I get my ticket validated at the front desk. And the receptionist is like, oh, cool suit. And I'm like, thanks. You know, like I found it in an 18th century Bordello or something. And I go down to the garage. I get into my car and I'm like, oh, thank God that's over. Oh, my God.

But I still feel really weird. So I look at myself in the rearview mirror and Jordan, my face is bright red. Vermilion, if you will. I have never seen my face this color before or since this day. I mean, I look like when you go skiing. and you forget to put on sunscreen. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what it looks like.

You're like swollen from the UV damage. I'm like sweating still. So I pull off my jacket. My shirt is soaked through. I'm a hot mess, dude. Literally, yeah. Literally. Wow.

So I take off the shirt also and I drive home naked from the waist up. And that's why I remember that the buttons on the shirt were on the wrong side. That's why I remember that detail. What a bizarre detail. This is just like etched your mind because it's already hard to undo stuff with one hand while you're driving. Now you have to

switch hands and you're shaking and your eyes are swollen shut from the stress or whatever. I look like I didn't know I had a shellfish allergy or something. Yeah. Okay. So that night, I was supposed to go chaperone this overnight camping thing with my old high school. So I drive out to the mountains like an hour outside of L.A. I'm still kind of reeling from the interview and I go to this campground place and I sleep over in a cabin. and during the night I start getting really itchy on the right side of my body, like on my torso, and the itching gets worse and worse and worse. And I'm like, man, I must have gotten bitten by something because it was pretty rustic.

And I keep scratching in my torso through my sweatshirt, which just makes it worse. And by the time I drive home the next day, I am in agony. Like, I have never felt like this before. So I get home and I look in the mirror and on my side is the worst rash I have ever seen in my life. This thing is huge and it's bright red and it's, it's so gross. It's like raised and it's like, ugh, it's so disgusting. Is it from the suit? And I'm like, oh my God, what is this?

I wasn't even thinking about the clothing. I thought I had gotten bitten by a spider or something. Dude, it looked like one of those flesh-eating diseases Paul Rosalie talked about on your episode about the Amazon. That's how bad. Oh, right. Yeah, I remember that. So this is bad.

So basically you got like leash meniasis in a skyscraper in L.A. I'm not sure that really tracks. You kind of need to go to the jungle of Panama to get that kind of thing. Exactly. So I book an appointment with a dermatologist, but I can't get in until the following week. So for four or five days, I am in probably the worst pain I've ever been in in my life. Jeez. And in that time, the HR lady from the consulting firm calls me.

And she's like, I'm sorry, but we can't offer you a second round. And I'm like, oh, no, I know. I was like, that is 100% the right call, ma'am. Good job on that decision. Yeah, they really didn't have to go through that formality, did they? It's like, he knows, right? He knows he can't come back in this building. I think when the sweat pours off your forehead, they're just like, we don't have to call that guy.

He understands. When you turn into a main lobster, everybody knows. A swollen main lobster. So, finally, I get in to see this doctor, and I show him my torso, and I'm like, hey, this happened. What's the deal? Like, am I dying? How long do I have? You know?

And he takes one look at my torso, and he furrows his brow? Like, he's kind of surprised. and he scribbles something on his prescription pad and he hands it to me. And on the pad it says herpes, zoster. Herpes? You got herpes from never wear vermillion shirts. That's the lesson from this show. They got herp.

I'm like, what is herpes zoster? And he's like, you have shingles. Oh, I thought old people got that. Yeah, that's what I said. I'm like, I thought only old people get shingles. And he's like, yeah, but young people can get it too. And I'm like, how? How does this happen?

And he goes, have you been under any stress lately? Like, did you have a, like, a specific moment of acute stress? Like, was there an event recently? And you're just like, I don't know. Maybe it was when I was calculating that there are 546,000 approximately fuel trucks in the United States. Yeah, exactly. I flashed back to my fuel truck meltdown and I'm like, uh, yes. Yes, I did.

And I was not wearing the right outfit for it either. And he's like, well, there you go. That's what it is. And he gives me a prescription for some cream and I go home. And it really hurt. But after a couple of weeks, it went away. but yeah, it was brutal. So that's the story of how I tanked an interview so badly I gave myself shingles at 20 years old.

Wow, that is, that's funny but also kind of gross. I mean, it's hard for me to picture you melting down like this because it's so different from how you are normally, except for the outfit choice. That 100% is on brand and tracks completely. The ensemble fits. That has not changed. The outfit is classic gaybie, but yeah, the anxiety spiral was definitely new. for me. And it hasn't happened since, but it was very humbling. But hang on, you did work in management

consulting after college. So what happened there? I kept going. I didn't, I mean, for a minute there, I was like, I don't think this is for me. I don't know if I can do this. But then I was like, if I really want this career, I got to figure this out. I have to try. So yeah, I spent the next six months or so studying even more. And I did an internship and I started a company with some friends to get more experience. I mean, I did whatever I could. And then in the fall, I tried. I tried. try it again. So I take it you didn't show up in the same suit because they would remember you. Got to, so some other firm with much lower standards finally caved and gave you a gig. That's exactly right. Actually, this is what I love about this story, besides the fact that at one point you looked like an heirloom tomato.

Thank you. But you went through this and I mean, let's be honest, kind of, it's traumatizing in some small way experience. A lot of people in that position would have been like, okay, I think this is a sign that I am not cut out for this career, but you picked yourself back up and you kept going. And then you ended up getting a job in that world when a few months earlier you were hopeless in that industry potentially. That's kind of awesome. I appreciate that. Well, thank you. I mean, yeah, I did have a lot. I was embarrassed after that interview.

And I was like, man, I am not nearly as smart or as confident as I thought I was. And also, these interviews are no joke. Like, what if this happens again one day, you know? But then I thought, okay, well, first of all, if this ever happens again, going back all the way to question one, we're either going to laugh about it right then and there with the interviewer. Like, I'm just going to call it out and be like, I am completely botching this, aren't I? You know, like have a laugh about it at a minimum. Or I'm going to stop and take some deep breaths and ask for help or something.

We're not going to just pretend that everything is fine and fake our way through it while I melt down in front of this person. So that helped. And then I also realized that I had been through probably the worst possible outcome in these interviews. And I did survive. It wasn't completely devastating. I just needed to put in more work so that I could build some real confidence and actually get excited about these interviews and not just skate by on bravado and blind faith that it would be okay. Right, which is kind of the only real answer to feeling like an imposter. Yeah, and also to your point, I did finally buy a pair of slacks and a blue cotton dress shirt, so that really helped.

There you go. I have to imagine those brain teasers do get a lot easier. When you're not dressed like Victorian-era Barbie's boyfriend. Kind of shuttlecock-O'Shaughnessy the third. Oh, what a great shuttle callback. That was with a badminton. Yeah, that was the badminton. Badminton ho. Definitely. I mean, pro tip for anyone getting ready for a job interview, maybe don't dress like an Italian vampire investment banker in the dead of winter. But I love what you just said, how you embraced that embarrassment and channeled it instead of being paralyzed by it or running away from it. That's not easy to do. Yeah, it can be pretty scary because, I mean, look, it's vulnerable. Right, because you're in touch with your limitations in a very uncomfortable way. Your weakness has been exposed, much like the butt cheek from the girl and I think you too. And now you're going, okay, I'm going to go back into the Lionsden and just find out if I can actually do this. And is this really what I meant for? And that takes some Cajones. And the second time is even more because if you fail because you rolled in unprepared, you can be like, wow, I rolled in unprepared.

Wow. But if you prepare and then you fail, then it's like, I just can't do this. I don't have the ability. I'm not smart enough. I don't have the talent. That's way scarier to face something like that. Yeah, you're right. And there have been moments in my life where I've backed down from precisely that scenario because, you know, there's so much on the line. But it also, it comes down to, am I going to let this guy, this kind of annoying, boring, straightforward corporate dude I didn't get along with? And also my own ignorance. Am I going to allow all of this to tell me what I can and can't do? Am I going to just settle for this super raw version of myself I was at the time? Or am I going to give it another shot and find out? If I get rejected, yes, that will hurt. But I think I can live with that. I can work through that. But I don't know if I can work through the regret of not trying. I mean, that's basically what it came down to. And yeah, that fall I got a few offers. I took the best one. And I have to say working and consulting, even though I was not cut out for that world at all.

And it really was not my calling. It was the greatest first job out of college I could have asked for, especially considering that I was essentially cosplaying as a business person because I thought it was interesting. Yeah, when you were actually a wannabe emo screenwriter all along. Exactly. who had a weird taste for strange fashion. Indeed. But that's a good story. I've had a few moments like that in my career, too,

where I just totally botched an opportunity, said the wrong thing at the wrong time or whatever. And you always feel worse in the moment than it actually was, or it was that bad, but it wasn't like, it's rare to not get another chance at these things in some form. But usually you've got to go off and lick your wounds, put in the work, come back later. And then when you see how far you've come,

it's just a great feeling. Oh, it's the best feeling. It's very gratifying. That's what makes it worth it. So I'm actually glad we got to end on that note because the reason we wanted to do this embarrassing stories episode was to dig into this very uncomfortable, very painful, but also totally universal feeling of shame and see if we could learn a thing or two from it. Besides how funny these moments can be in retrospect of course, I'm going to be thinking

about dog condoms, swimsuit holes, and silk vermilion shirts all weekend here. But to me, what's valuable about shame is that, and I'm not trying to go all Bray Brown here, but it reveals our humanness, right? our vulnerability, our imperfections, our wounds. And when we're in that state, the natural impulse, certainly my natural impulse, is to hide, right? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, you want to protect yourself. You want to keep it a secret. You want to keep up appearances, exactly. But sending this stuff underground, that is what keeps us stuck in the shame. And it allows the shame to hold us back, either from processing it or pushing

onward and trying again or appreciating it or figuring out what feels so shameful in the first place, which is, well, it's a real shame. Sorry, it's a weird choice. words, it's really unfortunate because it seems to me that these shame moments are actually an amazing opportunity to get more in touch with who we are, to get clearer about where we need to grow. So when we sweep them under the rug or we slap a band-aid on them, we're usually doing ourselves a huge disservice and depriving other people of some truly hilarious stories, which is more important here. And that's what I've loved about the stories we heard today. I've got to say, I'm impressed and weirdly touched by how many of them end with people laughing at themselves. That's

great. That's kind of a superpower. And it's very humanizing. It's very bonding. So thank you all for sharing this with us, guys. I know this is probably going to spark a lot more because we got some, I think people were a little afraid to share embarrassing stuff. They were like, oh, because I got a lot of stuff and I was like, that's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you. I don't believe you.

Like, this is a very tame. Surely there's been worse, but they didn't want to maybe go there. But if you guys are feeling a little daring, go ahead and send them in. And thank you, Gabe, for giving us the image of you literally liquefying in a conference room. We'll be feasting on that one for years. Oh, my pleasure. Thank you for telling me that your whole family heard you watching porn in the bathroom. I just, I got to ask your mom about that the next time I see her, you know, just resurrect the horror.

Do it while the entire family is around as well. Just let me have my, I was on a phone call, excuse. It's a very sort of Seinfeldie. I was out of phone call. I can't be doing anything to ferrets. Anyway, if you took nothing away from this episode, let's all remember. Laughter is life's lubricant. Shout out to the listener from Question One's dad for that gem.

Happy to lub you all up today, to lubed and to be lubed. Hope y'all enjoy that. I want to thank everybody who wrote in and everybody who listened. Thank you so much. Don't forget to check out our Skeptical Sunday on bottled water, Scott Walker on persuasion and hostage negotiation, and Annie Jacobson on nuclear war and how we will all die agonizing painful deaths in the event of a nuclear conflagration. The best things that have happened in my life and business have come through my network, the circle of people I know, like, and trust, and I'm teaching you how to do the same thing for yourself in our six-minute networking course. It's 100% free. It's not gross. It's not schmoozy. You can find it on the think-gific platform. at six-minute networking.com.

The drills take just a few minutes a day. I wish I knew this stuff 20 years ago. Dig the well before you get thirsty. Build relationships before you need them. Don't wear vermillion shirts to interviews. Six-minute networking.com. Our newsletter, of course, over at Jordan Harbinger.com slash news. Lots of good stuff going on in there.

Giveaways, wisdom from the show that you might have missed. Show notes and transcripts are over on the website as well. Advertis, deals, discounts, and ways to support the show. All at Jordan Harbinger.com slash deals. I'm at Jordan Harbinger on Twitter and Instagram. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. Gabe's over on Instagram at Gabriel Mizrahi or on Twitter at Gabe Mizrahi.

This show is created in association with Podcast One. My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Robert Fogarty, Ian Baird, Millio Campo, and of course, Gabriel Mizrahi. Our advice and opinions are our own, and I'm a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. Do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love.

If you found the episode useful, please share it with somebody else who could use the advice we gave here today. In the meantime, I hope you apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you learn, and we'll see you next time. You're about to hear a preview of the Jordan Harbinger show with geopolitics analyst Peter Zion. We're kind of in this soft moment in history where everyone's holding the breath and wondering if the next time there's an incident the U.S. is going to intervene or not, and I would argue we are not. Safety on the waves is what allows us to have the East Asian manufacturing model. Less than 1% of that should be.

happens on land. And that is a recipe for 1910s and 1930s-style conflict and competition. Countries are increasingly finding in their best interest to kind of hoard what consumption they do have and not allow trade access to it and then producing more locally. We were moving this way before the Ukraine war, before the Chinese starting to break down, and before the German industrial model started to implode. This has just sped everything up. So we'll probably see significant drops in agricultural output next year, especially in the second half of next year, which should suggest that we're going to have significant problems with food supply on a global scale in the months that follow. I mean, the food issue is the issue that gives me nightmares,

because I don't see a way to fix it. The biggest loser by far is China. Everything about China's functionality is dependent on a globalization and a demographic moment that has passed. I think we're in the final decade of the European Union, because without that Russian energy, there is no German manufacturing model, and without the German manufacturing model, you don't have the money that is used to keep the EU in existence. The pace of the disintegration here is really difficult to wrap your mind around. We've had a really good run in the last 75 years.

It was never going to last. It's going to be a rough ride. So anyone who thinks this is going to be easy is wrong in every possible way. For more about how globalization and our way of life will change dramatically in the coming decade, check out episode 781 of the Jordan Harbinger show. This episode is sponsored in part by What Was That Like Podcast?

If you're looking for a new show to add to your rotation, something that'll make you stop mid-dishwashing and go, wait, what that actually happened? You got to subscribe to What Was That Like? It's real people telling the most surreal moments of their lives and they're not just giving you the highlights. They're walking you through it from the inside as a person who actually lived it, which means you're basically getting a front row seat to the chaos.

One episode is about Scott getting locked up in a foreign jail for a crime he didn't commit. Sure, Scott. Another is Sue's parachute failing. Wow, I'm surprised she was around to tell that story. And then there's Michael who was stabbed on a bus, which makes your commute instantly feel a little bit more relaxing. Do you anything you think?

So if you want to hear some wild and inspiring firsthand stories, I invite you to check out what was that like. Every story is verified. Their site even has photos so you know even the most bizarre stuff you're hearing is somebody's real life. Listen to what was that like on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whatever app you're using right now. This episode is sponsored in part by Something You Should Know Podcast.

Finding a new great podcast shouldn't be this hard, so let me save you some time. If you like The Jordan Harbinger Show, you'll probably like something you should know with Mike Carruthers. It's one of those shows that makes you smarter in a practical, useful way. Same curiosity vibe we go for here, just in a fast-focused format. Mike brings on top experts and asks the exact questions that you'd want to ask, and the topics are all over the place in the best way. Recently, they've covered things like why we care so much what other people think, the benefits of laughter, why sports fans get so invested,

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