The Josh Innes Show - A Trip To The Podiatrist

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

First off, I have spent obscene amounts of time collecting hair from my " Low Shedding" dog. Can any of you offer me any advice? I love him. He's wonderful. But this dog sheds in bed like it's no one's business. I revisit Ross's original Petfinder post to see how much of his description was a lie. I've been having terrible foot pain for the last three weeks. Jilly finally convinced me to go to the podiatrist. This is my story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's Josh, but you knew that already. And it's a little late in the day for doing the pod. I've been off. I say I've been off, not like off of work. I mean, I've been off of work for, you know, months. But off on my times on this lately. The last couple of days. I mean, I've been off of work for, you know, months, but off on my times on this lately, uh, the last couple of days, I apologize. I'm also currently trying to get all the damn dog's hair off the bed. Like when we, when we got this dog and by the way, he's a wonderful boy. He's been going to training. He's been doing good. He's a sweet boy. I have no issues with him. He's got a lot of energy, But when I go back and I read the actual listing, if you want to call it that, like the bio, the bio of the dog that we adopted, almost everything in the bio is inaccurate.

And look, I'm not sending the dog back. I'm not some sort of asshole. I'm not going to say, hey, you sold me a lemon. Not going to do that. But, and again, none of you guys have really gotten to meet the dog or see the dog. We haven't posted a ton of videos of Ross. He's a sweet boy. But almost everything that we saw about Ross that was on the website, on Pet Finder,

virtually everything we've seen has been inaccurate. Let me see if I can find the actual breakdown that they provided us for Ross. By the way, sweet boy, nothing wrong with him. You know, he probably lived out on the street, so he's got like a street mentality a little bit. Sometimes difficult to walk, that's fine. But overall, very, very sweet boy. Let me see if I can find the full-on breakdown. I'm on the Pet Finder site now. Let me see here. Ross. All right. Wonderful boy. Here's Ross's bio. Ross is the best kind of guy. One who

just goes with the flow and gets along with everyone he meets. Now, that's true. He's a chill, lower energy dude, not true at all, who appreciates a romp in the yard or a walk around the neighborhood. That is true. He does like a walk around the neighborhood. When he walks around the neighborhood, there is nothing at all that is low energy about this dog. He walks 100 miles an hour, which is fine, but I'm used to Luther. Who's a smaller guy. Didn't do that. That's fine. And that's on me.

Part of that's my fault. I've got to know that not every dog in the world is like Luther. That's fine. But he's also a guy that's easily distracted as this Ross. So if he sees a dog across the street, Ross stops and we'll just look over and bark and he's almost impossible to get going. That's what we're working on in training and I think he's done a better job. But I would not call Ross chill or super low energy. Now once he chills, he chills. When he's out, he's out.

When he's laying on the couch, he's laying on the couch, grundles in the air waiting for a scratch. He's a sweet boy. But let me tell you, man, we talked to the trainer yesterday. Her name's Logan. Wonderful gal. She goes, did you guys know that Ross can jump as high as he can jump? Like no shit. The other day he jumped over the back of our couch. Like he walks behind the couch. Like where the hell is Ross? Oh, here's Ross. He jumps over the couch, which is about up to my past my waist. And he just leapt over it that is

not super chill like i'm not used to these dogs with high energy constant running you let him out in the backyard he runs a hundred miles an hour in this small little backyard i live in fear that he's going to just jump over the fence one day and be gone or take my legs out ross was found as a stray by animal control and no one ever came looking for him. We know we're shocked too. He's adorable and a perfect size currently at 26 pounds should be closer to 30. And since we haven't gotten to walk as much because of the, uh, I don't know if you guys have heard, but it's been snowy and icy here in St. Louis for damn near a month.

So it's been impossible to walk him around the neighborhood for lengthy walks. He's probably 35 pounds right now. Uh, we don't know how long he was on the run or what his life like was before he joined a rescue. Ross is in a foster home with dogs of all shapes and sizes and multiple kitties. He does fantastic with both. That is true. He actually does like dogs. We'll probably have to get him another one.

He does fantastic. He adores humans and doesn't know a stranger. He's gentle and sweet, scruffy boy who loves nothing more than to be with his people. That's also true. Like when I take him to daycare and drop him off, he's like petrified. Like he won't let me leave. He's scared, right? Like I'm like, oh, do I feel terrible about doing this?

But then the trainer will send me videos of him actually like playing at daycare and doing his training and he loves it. So he knows how to ham it up and put on a show. He's potty trained. That's true. true thank christ doing very well in his crate we don't put him in a crate we have learned that ross would do best with a finched yard as he does feel a need to run if not in a confined space or on a leash currently working on his recall in his foster home that's what we're doing as well we believe ross is two to three years old and is a poodle schnauzer mix there is no way this dog is a poodle schnauzer mix. I don't know what he is. I know we've talked about it on here before.

He might be some sort of German wire-haired something or another. I don't believe that he's a schnauzer and a terrier mix, although he's got a wonderful, cute little Kevin Durant beard about him. And the people at the daycare say, you know, when we look at him, he kind of looks like Luther in the face, which I agree. He kind of has a Luther quality in the face. But there was one thing they said in here that I would disagree with. It wasn't in the actual listing here, but it was on his Facebook post that he is low shed.

Now, I don't know what heavy shed is. And maybe you guys can tell me. his Facebook post that he is low shed. Now, I don't know what heavy shed is, and maybe you guys can tell me. Maybe those of you who listen to the podcast can tell me, hey, I've got blank kind of dog, and it's just nonstop hair everywhere. Like, I don't feel like there's a ton of hair left over when he lays on the couch. It's not like everywhere,

although there is hair in places that I just can't see because it's either on the floor or wherever, but I don't think he sheds a ton outside of the bedroom. He doesn't shed a ton on my clothes, so that's great. But when this dog comes to bed and he sleeps with us, because, look, we're not monsters. We like our dogs to sleep in the bed. We're good folks, right? We like it.

And he's a good enough size where it's fine. Although, this guy will sleep everywhere except where it is comfortable for us. So he will either sleep on top of Jilly's pillows, or like lately he's been sleeping kind of between us, but he just starts to kick my ass out of the bed. Like just in the middle of sleeping, he'll just start kicking. An aggressive like horse kick right to my ribs and just slowly kind of like gradually kick my ass out of bed.

But I will tell you this, when they say low shed, now you guys can let me know, like you can message me, DM me, Facebook me. I'm not on Facebook. What am I talking about? DM, Instagram, email joshennisshow at gmail.com. Every. I spend about 15 to 20 minutes taking care of all of Ross's little black hairs that are all over the bed, all over the sheets and all over the comforter. Now, I don't know why it seems like he sheds more at night. Maybe he does. Maybe that's just something dogs that shed do again. I have no clue. I've never dealt with dogs that shed before. I had Luther. That's the only dog I've ever had. He did not shed. He was wonderful. Not that Ross is terrible because he sheds, but he does shed. And they said, Oh, he's low shedding. Maybe he is low shedding, but for me, he's super duper fucking shedding. So I'm out here with this

little roller that my sister told me to buy the chom chom roller pet hair gone.com free advertising and i put this thing on the bed and i just go and it takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to find all the hair and then i bought this spray bottle that claims to be pet hair and pet dander allergy and allergen removal so i bought that and i spray it everywhere in here because i don't like like i've never had a dog that shed so i think i get a little bit sometimes depending on the day especially because we're basically locked in the house we're not opening doors a ton there's no fresh air coming in I'm inhaling a lot of the dog dander and stuff and it's since it's winter and it's cold and he already had flea issues before we got him so he's got like skin flakes and shit

I'm fairly certain I'm getting a little bit of allergy issue so i take some allergy meds in the morning spray a little flownase in there as well but i'm trying to take care of all the shit so i'm buying all the witch doctor and voodoo shit to make sure i can do my best to eliminate as much of the allergens as i can but i don't know maybe tomorrow i'll take a picture and show you guys all the hair so you can see what i'm talking about not bitch about him he's a wonderful boy he's a sweet boy he likes to cuddle although Jilly's getting kind of annoyed because now he goes to sleep in the living room sometimes and Jilly's a nutcase he's like does he not actually like us I'm like I'm sure he does what's not to like Jilly you worry about him 24 7 he's got to love it it's nice to know that someone cares about you that

damn much but he is a good boy and he's learning some stuff and he's a great he's got a such a handsome face his little beard's adorable he's just got high energy and like i never really knew what the zoomies were because like luther would run and like he like he would chase toys and shit and he would have little bursts where he would run a lot especially early on like he would run this dog is a tank when he runs and he runs 100 miles an hour and when he gets in the house with the zoom like he would run this dog is a tank when he runs and he runs 100 miles an hour and when he gets in the house with the zoomies he'll run from room to room jump up on the bed jump off of the bed he'll like he's a dock diver i need to exploit this dog skills for money

while he's still capable of doing it because your boy's broke and i need to find a way for this dog to make us money like some air bud type shit like I need to find out that this dog can shoot baskets, and then I need to put him in a fucking traveling circus so he can be rich. Anyway, so that's the latest on Russ. Not Russ. Russ! That's Ross, our dog Ross, and he's wonderful. All right, let's play some commercials here, and we shall continue.

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Here I am. Hello, friends. I will spare you the stories about the job hunt and everything else, but I will tell you this. So the last couple of weeks, really since the snow started, I've been dealing with like more foot pain than usual. And as you know, I've had gout. I get it. You guys have heard me I've had gout. I get it. You guys have heard me talk about the gout 100 times.

Feels like my foot's about to snap in half sometimes with this gout. They say it's caused by the alkyl and the red meat and all that, and fine. Great, more power. Fine. But the last couple of weeks, it's been really bad, and I assumed it wasn't gout,

and I didn't want to take the gout meds because the gout meds make my bowels run like water. We've talked about this. Colchicine is poison. You take this shit to try to eliminate the gout when you're having one of these gout attacks or you think it's a gout attack. And before you know it, you are shitting like a horse pisses. Like it is just straight up. Look, again, I'm not trying to get overly graphic with you.

But when you sit on the commode, there is zero solid coming out of you it is just 100 non-stop as i've compared it before it's like when you stand under that bucket and the little pirate ship at the at the water park and there's that like the half pirate ship that pours the water on you hey we're in pirates cove little kids every five minutes there's a bucket of water that pours on you. It's like that, except it's poop, but there's nothing solid, right? So I don't like to take the meds for it if I don't have to. So I've been taking a lot of ibuprofen. I've been under the assumption this whole time that it wasn't gout because it was so serious. Every time this happens, I tell myself, nope, gout isn't the issue this time because it feels different this time. There's a pain here, a pain there. Maybe I finally have that stress fracture I've been

telling myself I have. Like I'm Yao Ming. I have a Liz Frank injury. Like I'm Matt Schaub, right? Like I'm like, this is finally it. This is the big one, Elizabeth. My foot's finally broken. I finally have tendinitis. There is something that is so terrible in my foot that it cannot be the gout because I know the gout and it's in my big toe, blah, blah, blah. And it's been bad for two and a half weeks or so, especially with the snow. It's gotten worse. I don't know if the snow has nothing to do with it, but whatever. So this morning at about four o'clock, I wake up and my foot feels terrible and I can't go back to sleep. Just kind of rolling around, checking my emails. I check an email to find out that there's a job I'm not going to get.

I did get a response, but it was a job. And I'm like, hey, I want this job. I talked to the guy and then he says, yeah, we're not even going to fill it. Like, great. Thanks for posting the fucking job. Like, it's always great when someone posts a job and then they're like, as it turns out, we're just going to put on a syndicated show. Our bad.

Go fuck yourself. Have a great day. So I'm laying there and I'm already kind of pissed over that because it was a job I think I could have done well, but whatever. And then my foot hurts. It's like really hurting this time. And I can tell that if I try to get out of bed to take a leak or anything, this is going to be a real fucking endeavor. Like, it is going to be a nightmarish endeavor. Finally, Ross has to get up. Ross gets up at like six something to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, shit, I guess I got to try

to take him out. And I tried to get out of bed. And the pain was so excruciating in my left foot and it just shot up my leg that I was fairly certain I was going to die. I was on the verge of tears. And I'm like, yep, I have to have a broken foot. And Jilly has been telling me for like just weeks and weeks, like go to the doctor. I'm tired of you limping around. Like literally I'm like an old man. And I'm like, no, because our insurance sucks and I'm not going to sit there and go to the doctor only to fucking find out that it's gout and all I not going to sit there and go to the doctor only to fucking

find out that it's gout and all I need to do is rest and take this medication. So I'm not going to a doctor. That is not going to happen. I've been saying that for three weeks. But this morning I got up and I tried to go take a leak and take the dog out and I was on the verge of tears. So I'm convinced that maybe I finally do have either this tendinitis or I have a fracture,

a hairline fracture, a stress fracture, my foot's broken, it needs to be amputated. At this point, I would have taken it because at least I could collect disability, cut my fucking foot off, I'll collect disability, we'll go about our day. But finally, I decide to call a place. I start calling around of podiatrists

so I can say, hey, you got anything available today? I find one that's over in O'Fallon, Illinois, like an hour away from the house. I'm like, fuck it. I'll be there. We can see it an hour and 10 minutes. All right, fine. So I go over there and I'm limping into this place. Mind you, we have insurance.

The insurance sucks. It's like this marketplace shit. It's like $800 a month. The copay, the lady calls me when I'm on my way over. She says, it's going to be $100 for your copay. Like what the hell am I paying insurance for when I'm paying $750 to $800 a month for this insurance so I can pay $100 copay to go see the podiatrist and then after that pay whatever is left on the insurance got like a nine thousand dollar deductible so like what's gonna happen whenever i i get the bill

for this and i'm paying thousands of dollars more than likely because they eventually did x-rays and everything so i'm probably gonna pay a shitload insurance is a scam we as a country need to figure this shit out as i'm getting older i'm starting to realize there are certain things that i think are bullshit you can tell me i'm. I'm not like an expert on all these things, but it's pretty fucking bullshit when you're paying $800 a month for the right to pay $100 to go to the doctor to then pay thousands of dollars to pay off the bill from the doctor. It's a scam. It's criminal. Figure the shit out. It sucks. Then I felt horrible about myself because I show up at this place and I start filling out all the paperwork, you know, to go see this doctor.

And the only people that start coming into this place are old people. And as I'm filling my stuff out, like the nurse dude or whatever will come out and just call for people like, hello, Steve, or hello, Dorothy. So Dorothy, this woman starts walking up with this old lady. They call her, and I don't know her name, Marge. Who knows? And she's holding her by the arm. The old lady is wearing a mask. And as they're approaching the male nurse guy, they say, yeah, she's moving a little slow. She forgot her cane at home. And in that moment, I felt like the oldest schmuck on the planet. I felt like the people that actually listened to Casey 95. I felt like the people that show up at the Casey 95 remotes.

I felt like an old motherfucker. I like in the, in the, in the podiatry office, you know what they sell? Walkers and tennis balls for the walkers and ankle braces and compression socks and white New Balance. And my ass is sitting there, 38 years old, limping around like a pathetic dope. And I'm like, my God, this foot better be needing to be amputated or I'm going to feel like a giant asshole being here while I'm dealing with 80-year-old people puttering around in the office. So they call me back. They do some x-rays. They have me answer some questions. I explained that I've had gout before and all my different shit. Lady doctor comes in. She starts feeling on my feet. She goes, well, your x-rays don't show any fractures or really even any arthritis. I'm like, shits, there's no fractures,

there's no breaks, there's no arthritis. Your feet actually look pretty good. I see you had a surgery when you were a kid. Okay, but nothing looks bad there. You know, I'm going to tell you what I think this is. And there's that moment where I wanted to say, ma'am, if you say gout, you lose an ovary. If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle. I was that close. And I said, what is it? She goes, you know, honestly, I think what's happening here is you're just having a flare up of the gout. Do you ever take Colchicine? Like you son of a bitch. I just paid a hundred dollars off my $800 a month insurance. I just paid a hundred dollars to come here to ultimately pay you more money after that.

And what I find out here is that for two and a half weeks, I felt like death again because of the dreaded gout. And I'm asking questions. I'm like, are you sure? Can you run that test again? Are you sure it's not broken? She says, no, it's not broken. There's nothing wrong.

You just have gout. And then the worst thing happens. She asked me, hey, do you need like the little pamphlet that shows all the foods and beverages that are bad for gout? And I'm like, no, ma'am. I know them. I start listing them from the top of my head because I've looked them up a hundred times. I'm like, no, ma'am. I don't need to know this. She goes, well, you know that red wines are pretty bad. Yes, I is really bad i'm like yes i'm well aware and so is red meat and seafood and i'm like yeah no shit you don't say it's like so i can

give you some medication we're gonna give you a steroid for this and maybe um would you like to take like a preventative something you can take every day i'm like for the fuck christ yes please give it to me i want it i need to have something that I can take as a preventative every day. She says, I can give you that, but just know that the best preventative for gout is to change your diet and not eat and red meat? Is that how you want to live your life, ma'am? I don't know how you live. She was a nice Indian lady, so I don't know how Indian ladies live food-wise. I'm like, but ma'am, if they came up to you and said your favorite Indian dish couldn't be eaten, what would you say to those people? You'd probably say, go fuck yourself.

Well, you know what, ma'am? I will not give up the things I love. I'm texting my buddy, Tance, who's like a doctor, and he's like, you know, you should just stop or cut back on these things. I'm like, I will not give up the things I love. I'm texting my buddy, Tance, who's like a doctor, and he's like, you know, you should just stop or cut back on these things. I'm like, I will not do that, because I only live once, and I enjoy my beers and whatever, so give me the preventative, and let's fucking go.

And then Jilly texts me, and she's like, you know, it says here on Reddit that maybe you should drink more water, and I'm like, well, maybe. I used to drink five fucking gallons a day when I had a job and the water was free. Now, if I were to drink that much water, our damn water cooler would be empty in two days.

And it's broken anyhow. But yes, I do need to drink more water. So all that, three weeks of just horrible foot pains. I'm pointing everywhere on my foot I'm like is this gout is this gout she's like oh yeah that's all gout all gout so now I got to start taking this damn steroid and everything else three weeks of misery thinking that I need to have it amputated like it's over three weeks to find out that it's the fucking gout again. At least she's not going to make me.

I'll give her this. She goes, you know, I don't think you need to take colchicine because I don't like to prescribe it. Do you ever find that it's bad that your stomach bothers you? I want it to be like, you ever seen Dumb and Dumber? That scene where Harry is on the fucking toilet at Mary Swanson's house. That's me for three days when I take this culture scene, ma'am. It's that kind of poop that when you shit it out, like it's got so much pressure, it lifts you off the commode.

Like I'm sitting on top of a fire hydrant just shooting me up. Then I left, you know, and there were just more old people sitting out there puttering about in their walkers. I'mping out I had my foot wrapped they're like you didn't really need to have that wrapped I mean gout doesn't need to be wrapped I'm like I know I wrapped it because I thought I was dying ma'am anyway all right more to come