The Josh Innes Show - BBB: Travis Has Post Coital Regret

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

The KC Chiefs are terrible at the moment. I really enjoy it. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I love other people's misery. I'm sad in that way. Anywho, It's pretty clear that Travis Kelce has been ruined by Taylor Swift. I have a conspiracy theory about this union and it makes a ton of sense. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hey rockio i have a question for you yes sir do you believe that taylor swift and travis kelsey have had intimate relations oh god yes you do yeah see i didn't at first like well let me explain why so initially when the chiefs were still winning football games and travis kelsey was still doing things like you'd see him looking up at the press box and smiling, and they'd talk about it on the podcast, and he was doing sunset hard hands, like all the really lame stuff that a gentleman does when he's still trying to get laid, right? The kind of stuff that no man that's actually had sex with somebody would still do, you know what I'm saying? Like, you don't get that kind of thing, right?

You don't get the lovey-dovey newness of it all whenever you've actually gotten some action. And that's why I am of the belief that what we're witnessing right now with Travis Kelsey is a post-coital letdown is what I'm calling this. I'm classifying this as a post-coital letdown. And here's the thing. And my wife put this in my head and I totally believe her and I buy it. Like I said, you know what? This makes a lot of sense. I think that he got into this relationship with Taylor Swift as a goof. Like him and his buddies, like maybe his brother was hanging out, and he's like, listen, here's the deal. Like almost like a she's all that scenario where like they put a bet forth. He's like, I bet you can't lay Taylor Swift.

And he goes, oh, really? Well, what if I do? He's like, well, I'll give you my Porsche if you're able to have sex with Taylor Swift. And he's like, you're on. I don't know that Travis Kelsey even likes Taylor Swift. What I think happened was, is he, as a joke, got involved in this relationship with this gal. And then he stuck. He didn't realize how big of a deal this would all be.

He didn't realize that he was going to sell a billion jerseys and then his podcast would get a billion listens. He didn't know this. He didn't anticipate this happening. So what now has happened is he's trapped. He's stuck. And initially it was fine because at the end of the day, he's still trying to hammer it out with like the biggest pop star on the planet. So it's kind of fun early on. You're jet setting over to Germany. Everybody's having a good time. You want to be able to say, hey, I'm Eskimo Brothers with John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Like my peen has been where those type of legends have been. That's a great story to tell your grandkids one day, like one year at Christmas, like in 30 years, you're sitting around, you're in your sixties or maybe 40 years from now, you're in your seventies. You're sitting around in some spaceship because that's probably where we're going to be. And he's up in this spaceship and it's Christmas and he's sharing stories. And he's like, Hey kids, have you ever heard of Taylor Lautner? And they're like, yeah, Grandpa, what about him? He and I banged the same chick. That's a great story to tell.

What I don't think Mr. Travis Kelsey anticipated was getting stuck. Because here's what I think happened. I think he finally hooked up with her after all the days of the sunset hard hands and the looking up at the press box with the look in his eye of love all that i think that happened and then like finally one night they had a very romantic uh no doubt missionary position sexual romp because she doesn't seem like the kind that gets exotic so very by the books paint by number sexual experience and they're laying there and she like puts her arms around him and she hugs him and she goes i love you while her cat's like laying in between them like there's a cat there like there's 14 cats and he's like laying there she's got her arm she goes

travis i love you and then like that's the moment in the movie where they zoom in on your face and you look petrified and now he's. He can't get out of it. This isn't just some rando. This is Taylor Swift. This is the biggest pop star on the planet. What do you do? What can you do? Well, you can't do anything.

Have you ever incurred the wrath of the Swifties, Rocchio? Have you ever lived that life? Have you ever said anything on Twitter that set them into a frenzy? Yes. You did? Well, I was a freshman or sophomore in college when the, I'm going to let you speak for a minute, but Rihanna had the best video of all time. Oh, yeah. And so I was swirled in that discourse for about a year and a half in my college days.

And I mean, I have a microphone in front of me and I liked making people mad. My wife for a long time was a top 40 disc jockey that was her job so she would tweet about you know pop stars and stuff and she incurred their wrath once and i forgot what i tweeted about let me preface all this by saying that i used to really like taylor swift i saw taylor swift i was in the second row of the red tour before you know it was in all the football stadiums and stuff i was at toyota center in houston second row red tour loving him was red we are never ever ever getting back together we front row me and a buddy of mine it was truly one of the gayer things you're ever going to see not that i care if you're gay whatsoever, but it was certainly, if you looked at it from afar, you'd say, this is not heterosexual. And

I'd say, I can understand why you'd believe that. Two grown ass adult men, second row, bought the t-shirts and everything. I've also seen Cher at least five times. So I do things that straight men would consider questionable, but I really don't care because I have like five gay friends and everything's fine. I don't judge. I don't care what you do with your life. It's your prerogative. So anyway, I've seen Taylor Swift and I used to love Taylor Swift. I don't anymore because I find her really annoying.

But I tell you all that to tell you all this. What has happened to the Kansas City Chiefs? Well, actually, let me go back a second. Let me go here. I have incurred the wrath of the Swifties, and this is why I don't think Travis Kelsey can get out of this relationship with Taylor Swift. The Swifties, while they love to talk about their hero

singing songs like Mean, someday I'll be living in a big old city and all you're ever going to be is mean. Scooter Braun, you're mean. You took all of my girl's money. Kanye, you're mean. You interrupted her big moment. They love to talk about how mean other people are. But in their quest to defend their queen, they say the most mean, vile, effed up stuff that you've ever been told. I don't know that I've ever been called fat and ugly by more people than Taylor Swift people when I incurred their wrath on social media. They are not nice people. I think that they view themselves as a moral superior. Therefore, they feel that

they have the right to say horrible things about you because you're morally inferior. They're kind of like liberals on social media in that way. Social media liberals believe that they are the moral high ground. They're the moral superior. Therefore, they can look at somebody else and say the exact same thing like a Trumper or somebody would say. But since they're saying it and they're doing it under the guise of being morally superior and they're out to save the world, they can call you horrible names and it's totally okay. That's Swifties, okay? So now we fast forward. And I got called fat and ugly. My wife got called fat and ugly. I mean, they don't care. They are wild people on social media, all while sitting around talking about having

14 pet cats and all you're ever going to be is mean. And oh, my God, we're morons buying the same album two times so Taylor can get richer. Like, they're dumb people. Bless their hearts. And you'd like to think that they were just like 11-year-old girls. They're like 40-year-old lonely shut-in women, and they're sad. But anyway, I sat second row at the concert. I'm partially guilty. I've seen Taylor three times. Whatever. I got issues. But we go back now to the Chiefs, who lost yesterday, and Travis Kelsey looks lost. They're throwing helmets. Like, every day there's a video

of him throwing a helmet or Patrick Mahomes yelling at somebody. It's a whole deal. And the team stinks and they're collapsing. And I'm actually kind of enjoying it because I'm sick of the Chiefs. So it's fun for me. Look, my team is the Saints. Derek Carr is our quarterback. Let me relish in somebody else's misery for five minutes. But what's happened to Mr. Travis Kelsey is that Travis Kelsey got laid.

And the second he got some action from Taylor Swift, that zoom in happened on the movie. And he goes, oh my God, what do I do next? But he knows he can't get out of it because his podcast is blowing up thanks to the Swifties. He knows he's going to incur their wrath. He's going to be considered the worst dude on the planet if he breaks up with Taylor Swift. He is stuck. What does he do? Then, let me throw out another thing, if you want to dig into conspiracy theories with me. And of course, you can text and watch on YouTube. And Rocchio's got his eyes on that over there. I don't have it pulled up over here, and it's probably for the best, which is fine with me. But here's the other important thing.

Do you know anything about Travis Kelsey's dating history at all? I just know his previous girlfriend was also an influencer and a big social media person. Here's the reality. He's had three girlfriends that are smoking hot black chicks, curvy, great asses, tight bodies, look good. You want to tell me that he's happy banging olive oil the cat woman? Do you really believe that? Rocchio,

tell me the truth. Do you believe that sexually he is satisfied by Taylor Swift? It's okay to say it. Love makes you do crazy things, Josh. Yeah, but the thing is, the love made him jump into this thing. He thought he was in love, got a little action, and now he's stuck. There's no way she's adventurous in the bedroom. She's got to be a wet noodle, just like missionary the cats are watching.

You know what she probably does? She probably puts little masks over her cat's eyes so they can't watch, if I had to guess. So what I think we're dealing with here, Rocchio, is a man that got himself stuck and he can't get out of it because it's a, you can't, you are stuck. You're in this relationship. If you break up with her, you're a bad guy. You want to tell me you go from three smoking hot black chicks to this, to nobody whatsoever, no curves, no ass, no chesticles, nothing. You go from these hot ass chicks. This dude was basically Malibu's most wanted. He was B-Rad G for like the last decade, probably calls all his girlfriends like Lil Mama and Shoddy. And now he's dating the whitest person

on the planet. He's dating the human embodiment of pumpkin spice. And you want to tell me he's happy? My man needs to go get him some other action somewhere else and get back in the game. I have to say, I listen to the New Heights podcast a lot with Travis and Jason.

And the person who would love in America your reference just now would be Travis Kelsey because they've made multiple references to Be Rabbit and Malibu's Most Wanted. Multiple times on that podcast, they've made multiple references to B-Rabbit and Malibu's Most Wanted. Multiple times on that podcast, they have made references to that movie and Travis laughs his butt off every time.

Because that's who he is. He is B-Rad G. You know Dre. Basically, he was B-Rad if B-Rad got to hook up with Chandra the whole movie. He had three Chandras. He was B-Rad with to hook up with Chandra the whole movie. He had three Chandras. He was B-Rad with three Chandras. And that's Regina Hall, by the way, who I think is so hot. I'm a big Regina Hall guy.

But he is B-Rad G. He is the dude that you make fun of. He's got the chest hat that says, no ragrets, R-A-G-R-E-T-S. He's that dude. And now he's got Miss Americana. You think he's happy sexually? I'm telling you he's not, and that's why the Chiefs suck. More Balloon Party coming up after this on 101 ESPN.

We're right back to the Balloon Party on the Tim McKernan Podcast. Presented by Dom's Tire and Auto Centers on 101 ESPN. I may be putting myself in peril here, but I need your help if you're texting or commenting on YouTube. I need a new name for my podcast. I don't really like beer balls and barbecue. I thought I would, but I just don't think it works. It doesn't fit for me. Like, I'd like to learn how to smoke more meat, you know, but it just, I don't know.

People have asked me, so is your podcast like a tutorial on barbecuing? I'm like, I guess it is a bit confusing. So if you can give me a suggestion for my podcast name, after you subscribe to it, of course, currently just go search Beer, Balls, and Barbecue. Or you can hear me on KC95 every day, except this week. They won't allow me to be on because my boss, Marty, feels that they need to play every song in the catalog this week so you're gonna hear a lot of random songs like yesterday I heard a Peter Cetera song on KC but like not what you would think like it's not like I am the man who will fight for your honor or, what was the one he did with, he did a duet with Cher, didn't he? That's a pretty good Pierce and Terry impression.

You like that? Next time I fall in love. That was with Amy Grant. Listen. Oh, we got a new name. We got a name. We got a name. 314 says The Douche Chronicles.

Okay, see, that's good. Someone brought up, well, we talked last week with Jackson, and I asked him what level of douche he thought I was because a lot of people listening said I was a douche. And he said I think you're a level 5 out of 10, which is pretty solid. I thought you said level 5 last week. Level 5 douche.

Look, if you guys promise to subscribe to it and listen, then I will call it level 5 douche. If I get enough people listening to this show right now who subscribe on Apple or Spotify or wherever you get podcasts and go leave a review and comments and I can read them and it just says, call the podcast Level 5 Douche, or you can tweet me at Josh Ennis Show, you can follow me there, or gram me at Josh Ennis Show, I-N-N-E-S.

If you do that, then I will call the podcast Level 5 Douche. At least for a while. I can always change it. It'll require explanation to people who aren't in this small group of people who've been listening the two times I've filled in. So go do that. Either follow me on the gram, follow me on Twitter. Look, I like you guys. This is fun for me.

It's different talking to people who are closer to my own age. And I get that some of you don't like me, and I'm totally cool with that. I have unlikable qualities, I guess. Some of them are unlikable. But it's a lot more interesting at times talking to you guys who I think are closer to 37 than closer to 97 like I get over at Casey a lot. You seen any good comments over there, Rock? You just laughing to yourself over there? Somebody said, be better, guys. If I wanted this content, I could just YouTube the Howard Stern show, which was responded to very quickly,

like, come on, man, build a bridge. Howard Stern is a woke joke. That's actually true. I don't disagree with that. You can hear me talking about the sexual, by the way, very classily constructed conversation

about the coital adventures of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, or you can listen to Howard Stern talk to Seth Rogen for the 11th time from his basement this year. Those are your options. I think I would take this. So, so far, we've settled upon Level 5 Douche as the favorite for the name of the Josh Ennis podcast, which has listeners from all across the globe, from all of my different stops in Philadelphia and Houston and Nashville and technically New Orleans.

Been in a lot of places. I bounced around. I don't know what to tell you. I think it's a testament. Some would say it's a testament to my greatness that I can go from place to place. Others would say it's a testament of my inability to keep a job for longer than two and a half years. So it just depends on how you look at it. What are some of the other comments?

You said there was one about... I enjoy that you just laugh to yourself over there as you read them. 618 says, the enema with Josh Ennis. The enema. Up Ennis bitch is one that I've gotten suggested. Up Ennis bitch. People have suggested many times. Just talking dong. Just... Hey, you know, and look, people have suggested many times. Just Talking Dong.

Hey, you know, and look, I'm good at it. I told you about how I went to a Cher concert. I've been to like five Cher concerts. I think Cher is great. Do you like Cher at all? Cher's great. Yeah, I have a lot of respect for Cher. Do you know any Cher songs?

I don't know the catalog. Oh, I do. But I know for a fact that if there's a song where I'm like, is this a guy with a really interesting voice? Or is it Cher? Or a very interesting woman. It's either Cher or Annie Lennox. Oh, yeah.

It's either Cher or Annie Lennox. That's solid. So either one of the two kind of gets me. Cher's got that, if I could turn back time. That is a great song. That is a great song. It's a great song. Just like Jesse James.

You said that someone in there brought up whether or not Taylor Swift is a freak in bed or not, right? 314 said, I can see Taylor being a freak in the bedroom. I cannot. There's a 0% chance. I have a better chance of Taylor Swift lighting candles and playing Lana Del Rey and doing just five minutes of missionary with her socks on before I could see her doing anything freaky. And that's the thing. Like you look at Travis Kelsey and that man's been with some women that look adventurous to me. They seem like they get down. They seem like they know a thing or two. Look at that man. Again, he looks like he calls his girlfriend's little mama.

And he doesn't realize that it sounds stupid or there's irony in it. Like, that's just how he understands how to talk to women. You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, little mama. Like, he quotes rap lyrics to them, but, like, not current rap lyrics because current rap is terrible. But, like, early 2000s rap lyrics. Like, he quotes Jodeci. He quotes like R&B lyrics.

Actually, you know what he does? He puts Jodeci on while making love to a woman. I was going to say, this is a guy who has definitely used a Trey Songz lyric. Oh, God, yeah. On a girl before. Oh, like birthday sex he probably like really got into. Like I, let's be real. I'm white.

It is hard for me to take serious any sort of love making that occurs with music on like i hear my black friends talk about it all the time like oh we put on some al green or we put on some pebo bryson or whatever right and you're like yeah and like i could not see like i could not make love to my wife with Can You Stand the Rain play. Now, I love Can You Stand the Rain. It's one of my favorite songs. On a perfect day, I know that I can count on you. I know, right? But it's good.

Do you like New Edition? I love New Edition. We got three new names for the podcast. Oshkosh Bajosh, The Coital Collective, and New Lows. New Lows is good. New Lows. Dude, that's a great name. Oh, like All Time Low.

All Time Low. Hitting New Lows. Oh, God, that's actually a great name. Now, buddy, you better go subscribe to the podcast. That's the kind of conversation you would get on New Lowe's. Conversations about why it's goofy for white people to try to have sex to music.

We have a question here that's just kind of like an industry question about how it works. How did you not get fired after Dong Chat? I don't think anybody was listening. I did it during a holiday. No one pays attention to anything I do. I slide under the radar. I did it during a holiday. No one pays attention to anything I do. I slide under the radar. I think people listen to that and they're like, this is controversial. It really

isn't. That's just how I talk. I just walk around the office talking about penises. I can confirm that. It's true. I just go door to door like, hello, friends. Makes the day interesting. Also, i need some feedback on this are you a white person that has sex to music and what music is it like again like i just like i feel like if idris elba was having sex to music you go i get that that makes sense like he's listening you know like but like i can't see any white person doing that like who's the hottest white dude like george clooney handsome man this george. Right. And remember when he was with Stacey Keebler, so hot, long legs, all that. Like, how can you play music and take it seriously? But somehow

like black dudes make it look so cool. Like, like it's serious stuff. Like if Idris Elba was listening to SWV while having sex, you'd go, that's cool. Like Idris Elba walks in and I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly sleep. Like I'd go, that's cool. But like if a white dude did that, it wouldn't be cool. I couldn't take it serious. We'll get one quick text here before we go to break. The only music I have sex to is the intro song to The Office.

All right. More on 101 ESPN coming up. Today's Ozzie Smith's birthday. The Wizard is 69. Smith corks one into right. Down the line it may go. Go crazy, folks. Go crazy.

It's a home run and the Cardinals have won the game by the score of 3-2 on a home run by the Wizard. Go crazy. You ever met Ozzy? Yes, I've been very lucky to meet him a couple times. Once when I was a little kid when he was playing the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz out at the Muni. Wow. And then I've had the pleasure of actually running into him on the golf course twice since I started here at 101 two years ago.

You bump into him, like trying to play through or something. You're like, hey, speed up, ready, golf. And then it's Ozzie Smith. You're playing and Randy will be like, oh, there's Ozzie Smith. And you're like, okay, cool. And then four minutes later, your carts pass each other. And then he stops to talk to Ozzie. And then you're just talking about last night's NFL game with Ozzie Smith.

And you're like, okay, this is cool. I met him one time. And that was he was at a card show in Houston and I used to do radio shows from this card show. So the guy asked me if there's anybody I wanted to meet. And I usually don't care about meeting famous people. I grew up

with my dad doing radio, so I'd meet famous people all the time. Now, I guess it depends on your definition of famous. Like, hey, Josh, here's the Bellamy brothers. Or, hey, Josh, here's Al from Home Improvement. But I met famous people. So famous people didn't really do anything for me. But I was like, hey, if Ozzy's going to be here, I'd like to meet him and get a picture.

So he said, I show up tomorrow morning before the event and you can get a picture with Ozzy. And I got to shake his hand. And I said, I'm a big fan. And that's that. And it was very brief. I don't even know where that picture is now. But I'm a big Ozzy guy. Now, Ozzy was retiring right around the time that my real fandom began.

When he retired in 96, I was 10. That was one of my favorite Cardinal years, too. That was the year that was the La Russa first year. And they made the playoffs for the first time since 87. And thatoss that lineup ron gant who wasn't the same ron gant but i loved ron gant brian jordan gary guy eddie dennis eckersley i mean that i loved that team they were fun that that era of the cardinals and um i don't know i just and and Ozzy retired after that. And that was my first sports tears, too, when they lost that 3-1 lead to the Braves, got outscored 32-1. In my early childhood, and really up until I decided to become a smut-peddling radio host as an adult, I wanted to be the voice of the Cardinals.

That was my aspiration in life. Like, I just recited that Jack Buck call of the Aussie home run. Jack Buck was my hero. Jack Buck and Mike Shannon. All I wanted to be was Jack Buck. And I know it's probably hard to believe, considering that every text that's coming into the radio station right now is suggestions for music that white people listen to while they have sex. Do we have any of those really quick? Yes.

Somebody says, I'm white and I listen to to kids bop to remind myself to pull out oh that's solid choice you ever heard like kids bop every now and then do songs that kids bop shouldn't do yeah you ever heard kid bop uh lips of an angel yeah i shouldn't do that one yeah it's it's creepy but that happened but anyway i digress so when i was up until know, I decided to start doing smut peddling radio programming, I wanted to be the voice of the Cardinals. That was my dream. And Jack Buck and Mike Shannon were my absolute heroes. And I can tell you the story about the one time I met Jack Buck.

Technically, I met him twice. And I'll tell you that in a second. But Rocky, I was laughing at something. So I have to find out. I mean, it was an audible chuckle, so it had to be good. I used to have a lot of songs that I tried to do it, but I could never make it through the first verse, so I just stopped trying. Yes. You certainly don't want to try like Ennegada DeVita or any song that plays on Keisha. You're going to feel inadequate because those songs are 14 minutes, and you're 14 seconds, chief.

So best of luck. But the one time I met Jack Buck, I was 14, 13 or 14. This would have been in 2000. So probably like the last year that Jack was involved or the second to last year, Jack Buck was with the Cardinals. And he was obviously not doing well health wise. So I went to a game with my grandpa. My grandpa's from Poplar Bluff. We drove up here,

and it was during the summer. They were playing the Diamondbacks. So it had been July or August of 2000. I caught a batting practice home run ball. It's the only time I've ever caught a ball at a baseball game. It was at Bush 2, and I was in the upper right field area, so basically right above where Ozzie would have hit the walk-off homer. I was in that area up there. I think somebody from the Diamondbacks hit a homer and I caught it. Highlight of my life. Anyway, after the game, I asked my grandpa if we can go hang out outside of the press box to wait to see Jack Buck. I want to meet Jack Buck. He's my hero. He's my idol. He and Mike Shannon. I love these two guys. I had to meet Jack Buck. And I was calling games into recorders. I thought I was going to be the voice to meet Jack Buck. And I was calling games into recorders.

I thought I was going to be the voice of the Cardinals. And this is going to sound very narcissistic, but I believe if I would have stuck with it, I probably could have been. But, I mean, have you heard John Rooney? I couldn't be much worse. And they obviously have no real criteria for hiring people. They're like, hey, are you in St. Louis today? Come on in and be part of the Cardinals radio network. So I probably would have had a shot. But anyway, we go up to the press box and we wait. And at the old ballpark, you could just stand up there in the concourse and the announcers

and everybody in the press box would have to walk out to where you could see them and then they'd go to an elevator. So I waited outside the press box and Jack Buck comes out and he's shaking. He's got the Parkinson's. He's not doing well, but there's Jack Buck. And I got this ball in my hand and I go, Mr. Buck, Mr. Buck, can you sign my ball? And he kind of waves me over. So me and my grandpa walked behind this rope and get in an elevator. He goes, get in the elevator, kid. I'm like, Oh God. Yes. So I get in the elevator with Jack Buck. I've never been nervous to meet anybody, but I'm nervous. I'm 14. I'm shaking like this. And he's shaking like this. We're shaking for two different reasons, but we're in the elevator.

I give him the ball. He signs it. Jack Buck, Hall of Fame, 1987. I go, Mr. Buck, I read your book, which I did when I was in detention for all those days in school. I literally read his book like five times. I found that book, by the way, in my in like a box somewhere. I had highlighted. I had notes. I'm like, all right, you, in my, in like a box somewhere I had highlighted,

I had notes. I'm like, all right, you got to do this. You got to do this. This is how you become Jack Buck. Like I was obsessed with becoming Jack Buck. And I go, Mr. Buck, I read your book. And he goes, did it put you to sleep? And I go, no, no, no, never, never. And I was like, it was so good. He signed the ball. My grandpa's like, oh, it's so nice to meet you. The elevator gets to the bottom level and it's almost like Jack Buck evaporates. He's gone. I'm like, it was so good. He signed the ball. My grandpa was like, oh, it's so nice to meet you. The elevator gets to the bottom level, and it's almost like Jack Buck evaporates. He's gone. I'm like, Grandpa, we didn't get a picture. I did not get a picture with Jack Buck.

We got to go back the next day. Same process. After the game, I go up and I wait for him. Mr. Buck, Mr. Buck. He looks over at me the next day and goes, kid, I signed yours yesterday. And then walked away. I also got to meet Mike Shannon a couple times. Let me tell you something.

Mike Shannon, to me, is St. Louis or was St. Louis Cardinal baseball. Like nobody embodied St. Louis Cardinal baseball. Not Stan Musial, not Albert Pujols, nobody. You will never see a situation again where a guy's got 60 years in an organization, he's from the city, played for the team, broadcast for the team, and got bombed every night with the team. You're never going to see anything like that ever again. That was special.

And as an adult, sports-wise, I've cried a couple times. One, and this is pathetic, but when I found out that Mike Shannon was retiring, I was reading through my phone in the shower out that Mike Shannon was retiring, I was reading through my phone in the shower because that's what I do. I'm weird. I'm reading through that and it says Mike Shannon's retiring after this year. I said, Julie, Mike's retiring. And then I just cried in the shower because he is Cardinal Baseball, was Cardinal Baseball.

Then the next time I cried is when we were in the car driving to take my dog for a walk on a Sunday morning and my wife goes, oh, my God. And I'm thinking, oh, no, something horrible happened. Like my dad died or something. She goes, Mike's dead. And I knew who she was talking about because I don't know any other Mikes. So it had to be Mike Shannon. And let me tell you something.

It was worse than somebody in my family dying. It was Mike Shannon dying. And I was crushed because I knew that we'd be left with John Rooney. Can you imagine a world where instead of go crazy, folks, go crazy happens, you get, it's a goner. It's not a world I want to live in. That's not my world. That's not my cardinal nation. So, but man, I love those. Those are my heroes. And I wanted to be a play-by-play guy. When I was 15, I was doing hockey play-by-play for a double-A hockey team in Baton Rouge. I really thought I was going to be something.

I did independent league baseball when I was 16. Then one day, they were like, well, if you want to make it up the ranks, you're probably going to have to start in rookie ball and make $11,000 a year. And I'm like, that doesn't seem like a solid move. I don't think I want to do that. It'd be like if they were like, hey, do you want to be the voice of the Gateway Grizzlies? No, I don't. Well, if you want to move up in the world, you kind of have to start there.

Would you like to work for the Montgomery Biscuits or the Macon Whoopie? No, I don't. And then I decided to say offensive things on the radio. And here I am with you, my friends. That's a real team name, Rocky. That's amazing. Macon, Georgia. They were a hockey team.

That's amazing. And the ECHL, the Macon Whoopie. That's so good. Oh, they got some great names down in the south for some of these teams and these hockey leagues. Keep your cap to good marketing at that point. Oh, and what amazes me is that there's still a lot of these teams that were around. And this was 20 years ago. Like, I was driving through peoria the other day um and the peoria river men still a

hockey team like i'm blown away and all these southern teams had hockey like little rock had a hockey team the arkansas something bears river bears or something they were a team baton rouge had a team new orleans had a team they were called the new orleans brass lafayette louisiana had a team called the louisiana ice gators uh luxey mississippi they were the sea wolves mobile were the mystics oh yeah you get it they were mystics but spelled like a hockey stick pensacola the ice I mean, I lived that life, man. I loved all that stuff. I was obsessed with ECHL hockey. It'd be like being obsessed, if you don't know what ECHL is,

it'd be like being obsessed with the Springfield Cardinals to the point that you'd be upset if they lost. And I'd be upset if the hockey team in Baton Rouge lost. I'd listen to the games on the radio in my bedroom when I'd go to sleep. I was a dork. Still am, but for different reasons. But that was my life, man. But anyway. All right, we'll wrap things up after this. We'll be right back to the Balloon Party on the Tim McKernan Podcast. Presented by Dom's Tire and Auto Centers on 101 ESPN. All right, wrapping things up. By the way, my name is Josh from KC95.

You can go subscribe to my podcast if you'd like to hang out. We are leaning towards a new low with Josh Ennis is what it's going to be called. It's currently called Beer, Balls, and Barbecue if you'd like to subscribe and leave a comment on it or review it. But a new low is the leader in the clubhouse for the name of the podcast.

I'm enjoying the Chiefs' demise. I used to be a big Chiefs guy, too, when I was a kid. I loved the Chiefs because in my early days of fandom, there was no Big Red. So it was the Chiefs, and we lived in Springfield for a little bit, and they're big Chiefs people there. So I was the Chiefs, and we lived in Springfield for a little bit, and they're big Chiefs people there. So I was really into them. 1994, Joe Montana, Willie Davis, J.J. Burden, Marcus Allen, Derek Thomas, who to this day is still my favorite football player ever. I refuse to get rid of my childhood Derek Thomas jersey.

It just sits in my closet. It's completely disheveled and a mess. But Derek Thomas, another time I cried is when Derek Thomas got in a car accident. It was crushing for me, man. I love Derek Thomas. And I love the Chiefs. Then I moved to Louisiana for, and that's where my family, my dad and mom and everybody still live. And I lived there for 13, 14 years. So I became a Saints fan over the course of the 2000s. But my favorite team ever is still the 2003 Chiefs, even though they lost in their first playoff game to the Colts in a game in which nobody punted.

I was really into that team. Dick Vermeule is one of my favorite people on the planet. Can I ask a question? Were you in New Orleans in 2006? Mm-hmm. So, you know, from the outside. I was in Baton Rouge, but it's like 45 minutes away. Outside looking in, obviously, special season, everything happens.

Just like what was it like watching the Saints, you know, the Steve Gleason punt, you know, right out of the gate against the Falcons? What was that season like being actually down in New Orleans? I have to imagine it was incredible. It was awesome. Well, and remember, they thought they were going to lose the team. And by the way, fun fact, the first time the Saints ever had a season sellout was in 2006. So while they have great fans there, and it seems like this is this incredible place to

play, there were a lot of times growing up they would black out games in the local market or they'd have to wait for a big company to come in and buy tickets for the game to get on TV because the team just stunk for most of its existence. In particular, in the early 2000s, they won their first playoff game ever. It was against the Rams, and I was at that game when Oz Akeem dropped the ball. I was there. I got tickets. I'm trying to remember the guy's name.

He was an offensive lineman from the Saints. I think his name was Tom Ackerman, fittingly. I think his name was Tom Ackerman. And he was an offensive lineman from the Saints. And he got my dad some tickets. So I went. And I was there sitting. I had end zone seats when Ozzie Keem

dropped the ball. And everybody remembers that game because the Rams were down huge. And then they just bounced back, bounced back. And if they would have returned that punt, they would have won the game. There's no doubt. But that was the Saints' first victory in a playoff game ever. Then the next week, they go to New Minneapolis to get their asses kicked. Fast forward to 06, I was working at a radio station in Baton Rouge. It was one of my first jobs. And my job was to come to the radio station every Sunday and run the Saints Radio Network and the Saints Radio Network broadcast. I don't know how it worked here, how the Rams were, but the affiliates would carry the entire local pregame, the whole game and the entire local post. So it was like a seven in the morning till about 430 in the

afternoon thing. And it was a hell of a ride, man. I went to try to remember how the playoffs went that year. I want to say that was the year in the first round they played. They may have played Philadelphia in the first round that year. And then they went on to play the Bears in the NFC championship game and they lost to the Bears in the NFC Championship. But I want to say that was the year that Reggie Bush got blown up by what's-his-name. I forgot. What's-his-name? Sheldon Brown.

Sheldon Brown. Sheldon Brown blew up Reggie Bush. And I went to that game. And I want to say, was that the year that they had their backup playing for the Eagles? What's-his-name? Jeff Garcia played in that game. And I went to that. And then they went to Chicago and lost. Then they had two or three years where they didn't go to the playoffs. I don't believe they made the playoffs again until they won the Super Bowl

in 09. And then they got a steady playoff for a couple of years and they lost that game. They shouldn't have lost to Seattle. Then over the last couple of years, they've had games they shouldn't have lost. I was at the game when they played the Rams, and they got screwed on the call that sent the Rams to the Super Bowl. I was sitting there, and that was the most devastated I've probably ever been after attending a sporting event. And I've been to a handful of Cardinals World Series games. I was there at Game 5 when they played the Red Sox and lost like 3-1 in a boring game. From a Saints perspective, in 2009, how confident were you that Brett Favre was going to throw a pick? Not. Okay, because as someone who was a diehard Brett Favre fan,

that was the person who brought me into football, I was watching that with a bunch of Vikings fans. And overtime starts, and I turn to one of the Vikings fans, and I just go, I've watched so much far in my life. I give you six plays before it's a pick six the other way. Keep in mind, they effed him up good. Yes, they did. Because that was the bounty gate and all that, which I thought was stupid.

Just the whole reaction to it was stupid. I saw that pick coming from a mile away. But he couldn't walk. I mean, they effed him up good in that game. And then they end up winning that game. Hell, I played high school basketball against the dude that had the pick six in the Super Bowl, Tracy Porter. That dude like dunked on me in a high school basketball game. We were both from the same side of the river.

We were in West Baton Rouge Parish. Parish is not state, counties. And we played basketball. He went to Port Allen High School. I went to Brulee High School. He was great at all sports. I was white. And he just yammed on.

I mean, that's just how these things went. But, yeah. I don't think I ever put together, because he went to Indiana. I don't think I ever put together that he was from Port Allen. Port Allen, Louisiana. That's wild. I think he played for a gentleman by the name of Jerry DiNardo at Indiana when randomly Jerry DiNardo was the coach at Indiana. He had gotten fired at LSU in 99

and then Nick Saban came in. Look, I know sports brothers. I could talk about Dongs and Taylor Swift, but I can also show off my encyclopedic knowledge of West Baton Rouge Parish athletics. You don't want to F with me,

boys and girls. I am an encyclopedia. But yeah, so I'm a Saints fan, but and girls. I am an encyclopedia. But yeah, so I'm a Saints fan, but growing up I was a big Chiefs fan, you know. And I'm enjoying their demise only because the Swift thing plays a big part in it. But they're really unlikable now. And it's not like they're unlikable because they're 13-2 right now. They're unlikable because they're bitching about refs constantly, which is not very becoming. The Taylor Swift stuff, Kelsey's always breaking his helmet. There's just nothing likable about them right now.

And I used to love them, too. Again, when I was a kid, man, my mom's obsessed with the Chiefs, save for the year that everybody was taking a knee and my mom bailed out on football. We were saying, nope, no football anymore. I was like, Mom, you own the Chiefs? No. And one of my great things I was able to do for my mom, though, I actually was able to get her playoff tickets for a Chiefs game.

I think it was her first or second game going to Arrowhead. It was a playoff game, I think, against the Colts, and it snowed a couple years ago. So that was a big deal because she's always wanted to go to a snow game. And back when your boy had some scratch, before I was like $20,000 in debt, back when I used to, you know, dollar dollar bills, y'all. I was able to get my mom some tickets to that. And she flew out there and it was a big deal for her.

Like she was excited. Took like an hour to get into the parking lot because of snow. But yeah, so I was a huge Chiefs guy growing up. But I'm a Saints guy. And that's why I don't feel bad for your misery because Derek Carr is the quarterback of my team, and he's a loser, and so is Dennis Allen. My team is a loser team now. Who couldn't have seen that working out?

Oh, I know. You spent $150 million on Derek Carr. I'm also a big LSU guy, for what it's worth. I went there for two years before they kicked me out. I left, but it's also because they kicked me out, because I wasn't very good at it. I never went to class, so that's part of it. You just they kicked me out because I wasn't very good at it. I never went to class. So that's part of it.

I think that's part of it. You just played football. I know. All A's, but I didn't have skill. Do we have any texts to get to before we get out of here? Anything interesting? I think we're settling on a new low with Josh Ennis for the name of the podcast, by the way. Yes, and I just like this description of the show.

This is awesome. Train wreck. You wrecked the train. You put it back on the tracks, and then you just derail it again. Oh, good. That's what I do. I think that's a good synopsis of the show. This is awesome. Train wreck. You wrecked the train. You put it back on the tracks and then you just derail it again. Oh, good. That's what I do. I think it's a good synopsis. It is. But the thing is, I don't view it as a train wreck. Like I think people think if you're not sitting here doing straight sports talk, it's off the rails. I view everything as part of the show because I view myself as an entertainer, you see. So talking about Travis Kelsey having sex with all these hot black chicks, and then like, oh,

now I'm having sex with olive oil. To me, that's just good sports talk. And then you talk about, see, then here's how you get them back in. You lasso the people back in by just repeating facts. Here's a key, here's a trick that sports radio guys use. Just list

people from a team. And then fans are like, this guy knows sports. This guy, like, yeah, like 96 Cardinal. Remember Gary Guyetti, the third base? This guy knows sports. He was proud of Royce Clayton. This guy knows sports, man. This guy gets it.

This guy totally understands sports. Just list names. Yeah, 94 Chiefs. Remember that Monday night game when Joe Montana let him down the field to beat John Elway and the Broncos? Man, that was great. Willie Davis, J.J. Burden, great offensive line.

I love it. 2003 Chiefs, Johnny Morton, Eddie Kinison, Tony Gonzalez, Priest Holmes, the human joystick, Dante Hall. Dudes will do this for hours. Just walk into a room with three guys and go, do you guys know any NFL players from 2005 to 2014? And then come back 45 minutes later and see where they're at. As if it proves anything about you.

I can name people. I'm great. I'm great at talking. I played a lot of Madden. It says a lot more that you played a lot of Madden than you watched a lot of football. Totally played a lot of it. As somebody who does this and only knows the names because I played a lot of Madden, not because I watched a lot of football, it's 100% that. People scoff at the idea that playing Madden actually helps you do talk radio. I didn't play football in high school.

I played basketball. I played golf. And I played baseball up until high school. But I never played football. But I played a whole F-ton of Madden. And that's why I feel like I have an idea about it. That's why I fight with football players over knowledge. I used to do shows with football players.

I'd be like, you're wrong. I played Madden. I understand more than you with football players. I'd be like, you're wrong. I played Madden. I understand more than you do, sir. You're too close to it. You don't know what you're talking about. All right, anyway. BK and Ferrario coming up next. Follow the podcast.

There's going to be a name change very soon. Maybe today. A new low with Josh Ennis. We've decided. All right, we'll see you.