The Josh Innes Show - Bonus: Pro Bowl Games Betting..Real Degenerate Shit

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

Jilly has brought it to attention that the Pro Bowl Games are tonight...and we can bet on them! This is about as degenerate as it gets. Jilly describes the events, tells us the participants and I make my picks. We are real sad. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, everybody, a little bonus, as if like there's a set number of pods I do every day, but I'll call this a bonus, I guess, an extra pod. I'm sitting around in bed. Once again, I have the heating pad on my foot. No clue if that helps or not, but it feels nice. As I'm gouted today, I got to go pick up some medications for the old gout here in a little bit. Jilly's hanging out and Ross is at daycare. It's a rainy day. Snow is melting, it seems. That's a positive. It's going to be in the 60s on Monday. That's good. But as I sit here, Jilly has brought to my attention that there is something that we can bet on tonight. Now, we're going to bet on the Memphis Grizzlies. We're going to bet on the NBA.

We're Grizzlies people. We like to bet. Despite the fact that the ratings and everything are down for the NBA, we are still degenerates that like to bet on it. But also importantly, we have learned today that football is not over. There is a Super Bowl coming up. You know that. That's coming up in about 10 days.

But more importantly, there's betting that's fitting to go down tonight on football. And that is on the Pro Bowl games. Well, the whole thing is the Pro Bowl games. I guess tonight's is labeled like the Pro Bowl. Like, I forget the name of it. The Skills, maybe? Skills Showdown.? Skills Showdown. The Skills Showdown.

Now, I didn't know you could bet on this until Jilly has brought it to my attention. And this is like a special prop to your drop. I don't know if you guys are going to have the opportunity to do this. And it's only available, is it only available on DraftKings? DraftKings, yep. So DraftKings is where you can find the Pro Bowl games, and I don't even know what any of these games are.

Jilly is going to share these with me, read these to me, and we'll see if we can pick the best. So just to sum it up, since it is the Pro Bowl, that means it's the AFC versus the NFC in these events, correct? And they don't let you do actual player props. You can't pick specific players, but you can choose which conference will win each of these events, correct? And they don't let you do actual player props. You can't pick specific players, but you can choose which conference will win each of these events. Well, and I'm a degenerate,

and I just lost a soccer bet today by one damn goal that would have been a huge hit for us today. So I'm down already today. I got a bum wheel. I'm limping around the restaurant at lunch. There's nothing worse than this, because people look at you like you're a sad sack, which you are. The scout makes you a sad sack, but people look at you like you're handicapped or something. So you're walking around dragging your fucking foot,

limping around like I got my foot pointed at like a nine o'clock angle. So my left foot is at nine o'clock. My right foot's at 12. So basically my gate is like my two feet shape, like a clock at nine o'clock. It sucks. People stare at me like I'm a fucking imbecile or like they pity me. I can't go anywhere without limping around. My toes fucking hurt. I call the lady today. I'm like, can you give me a shot? They're like, no, but here's more medication. Take this medication. So I'm really pissed off. I'm a gimp right now. The only thing that's going to bring me any sort of joy, I guess, is betting on the Pro Bowl games. And I can't even take individual bets. It's just AFC versus NFC. I have no clue what any of these are. I have no clue.

Jilly's going to read them to me. It's a special level of degenerate. What you're listening to now is about as degenerate as it gets and I know what you're saying Josh you just had a nine-leg parlay going on some soccer and it missed by one goal yes but that's not degenerate level that's actually a solid strategy it was halftime and you just took one more goal in each of those games you get enough of them you get a good value I had a great value I miss it by one fucking goal I don't know what to tell you one game didn't have one more goal and one goal was scored in the last seconds of the game and they waved it off because of offsides so it's a good strategy so if you're ever in the if you're looking for another gistum to work with a solid gistum is take like when you got a bunch

of soccer games that are at halftime and like these cups of whatever the sort they are whatever cups they are what you do is you take one more goal to be scored in each game that you think makes sense you look at the point basically you look at the the money lines and if like a team is winning one nothing and like they're still not favored that much to win take another goal if it's zero zero and there's a team that's still heavily favored to win take another goal build a parlay, see what happens. There, usually it hits. This time it didn't.

Fuck my life. My foot hurts. We're going to do degenerate shit. But first, let's play a couple commercials. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you've got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition, including

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Limited time offer. See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. All right, so, Jilly, it's the Pro Bowl games. We're full-on, stone-cold, degenerate level. Some say betting on the WNBA All-Star Game makes you degenerate. No, betting on the Pro Bowl games. So what is the first Pro Bowl game that is available? And, again, these are two days.

There's the skills ones tonight, and then there's more including the flag football game on Sunday. Oh boy, well you know what I'm betting on on Sunday is some flag football. This is a double opportunity to be a real degenerate. Alright, so what is the first skill competition that we are more than likely betting on

tonight? It's called Passing the Test. Passing the Test. How does that work? Each of the conference's three quarterbacks will try to hit targets at various distances around the field worth different point values in 40 seconds. Before the challenge, each quarterback will select a Pro Bowl game's teammate to answer five trivia questions about current Pro Bowl players. For every correct answer, the quarterback gets an additional 10 seconds. The winner of the competition is the

team with the quarterback who scores the most points you know i kind of like this this is kind of cool it's better than just what it was in the past which was here's a pro bowl game that no one gives a shit about whether it's tackling flag or what i kind of dig this so tell me this who are the the competitors obviously that's how we'll determine if we're going to take the nfc or the afc because we can't take individual bets. So it has to be a league bet. So AFC or NFC. And there's been so many alternates.

That's what's like. I think J.J. Watt was on McAfee yesterday being like, we can't just call everybody pro bowlers now because like we're on the fifth alternate. Well, that's what happened with Matt Schaub. The year that Matt Schaub went to the Pro Bowl, like four other dudes didn't go. So he was like super duper Pro Bowl alternate. But he's still a Pro Bowler now. But to be fair, though, I mean, that guy threw for 4,700 yards that year, had a good fucking year. Some of these guys are just filling up the rosters, right?

But anyway, obviously NFC or AFC, you're not going to get Pat Mahomes. And obviously you're not going to get like a Jalen Hurts in any of this shit. Because they're in the game and you're not going to get like, you know, you're not going to get Kelsey and you're not going to get A.J. Brown or anything like that. But who are the competitors in passing the test for the AFC? Joe Burrow and his trivia partner is Nico Collins. So Joe Burrow is the guy passing. So Nico Collins has to know things about other pro bowlers to get him bonus time.

Correct. And obviously bonus time helps, but even more important than bonus time is being able to hit targets. And I think Joe can hit some fucking targets. Is he passing these to other dudes? Are they the targets? Or is he hitting like big holes in the wall or something? Just different targets at various distances. So like you're at Chuck E. Cheese and you got the little three-hole football throw game

and that's like kind of what this is, but he doesn't have to throw it to any of these guys. You're not relying on someone to catch it. Okay, so it's Joe Burrow. Who else is on the AFC team? Drake May and his trivia teammate is Jonu Smith. Okay. And Russell Wilson and his trivia teammate is Miles Garrett.

Look, I will gladly take a couple veterans like that in there. I'll take a veteran like Rusty Wilson, who's been around the block. If anybody can throw to a non-moving target or someone who doesn't have to catch it, I'll take Rusty and I'll take Joe. So as long as their total combined is better than the NFC, it's a win. Obviously, Joe

is probably who I'm going to go with, but who's with the NFC? Jared Goff and his trivia partner, Josh Jacobs. Yeah yeah no thanks on jared goff the world's a whole lot different when you don't got uh these guys bailing you out whenever amin ross saint brown's not out there making plays for you sam darnold and his trivia teammate fred warder okay whatever and baker mayfield and his trivia teammate mike evans i think the afc is going to coast in this one. We're putting our money on the AFC. AFC, big victory in passing the test.

That's a money line. Obviously, there's no other options. So we're taking the money line, which I think is minus 115 on each side. We're taking money fucking line. We're going AFC to win passing the test. Next. The next event tonight is satisfying catches. One wide receiver, receiver tight end and defensive

back from each conference will compete in a challenge obstacle course including catches from a jugs machine at three different distances to test every aspect of catching a football each teammate will complete the course back to back with the lowest combined time winning the challenge okay so who's in again i'm look is uh well tell me So who's in? Again, I'm... Look, is... Well, tell me this. Who's in the AFC? In the AFC, we have Jamar Chase. I'm in.

Brock Bowers. Oh, I'm in. And Derek Stingley Jr. Okay. We got NFLSU. We got NFLSU. We got double NFLSU in here. We got SEC with Brock Bowers.

We got my man Jamar, my favorite pass catcher in the fucking league i don't know who's going for the nfc but the afc is winning this shit nfc is another nflsu justin jefferson oh shit trey mcbride who's one of your favorites god he is and jalen johnson of the bears nope i'm taking afc put my money on the afc to win this one i'm going look my the guy who's better now granted it's one thing to say this about Jamar. Jamar is catching passes from Joe Burrow, whereas Justin Jefferson is catching from Sam Darnold.

But I'm still taking Jamar. I'm taking my man, Jamar. He's going to show up and show out. I'm going AFC with a victory on that one. So we didn't see this one on the betting site, the big spike, but it does sound wacky. It's where linemen look to spike footballs onto a machine that measures power and impact so it's kind of like when you'd go to like a truck stop or like a a you know like a roadside bar and they'd

have the the punching machine where you could like punch the speed bag and it measures how strong you are like when you go to the carnival and you do the big sledgehammer that knocks it on the on the thing at the carnival. So that's kind of like just a big brawny strongman competition, like you're pulling a Volvo with your teeth or something. Yeah, but since we can't bet on it, we'll just move on to the relay race. Well, who's who's in it? OK, the AFC and the big spike. Rashawn Slater of the Chargers, Quinnen Williams of the Jets and Joel Batonio of the Browns. All right. And for the NFC, Chris Lindstrom from the Falcons, Dexter Lawrence, that's old sexy Dexy, right, from the Giants, and Frank Ragnow from the Lions.

I might go NFC on that one. I'm not going to take it because it's not available on the betting site, but that could be one that I would strongly consider. Like, I'm kind of excited to watch this stuff. We need to get back by 6. It's on ESPN at 6 tonight, depending when you're listening to this. Well, obviously, a lot of people are going to hear this after this already happened,

so they're going to learn of our degenerate ways. We're just letting you in on it, just so when you watch this tonight, when you watch the Pro Bowl games, if you do, you know that there's some good old-fashioned Missouri-based degenerates that are betting on the Pro Bowl games because we ain't got nothing else to do. And my foot's all wrapped up in a heating pad and I'm dying anyway. So I might as well go down swinging. Then there's the relay race tonight,

a simultaneous relay style event where four players from each conference complete a 40 yard dash before handing a football to the next athlete on their team, continuing until the fourth and final leg crosses the finish line the conferences will compete in three rounds with the fastest team winning all right well who are these people running so again there'll be four for each relay and like you could be you know you got three chances to win for afc three for nfc yeah so the afc teams and i don't know who's with who but all the participants in the relay, Jonathan Taylor, Patrick Sertan, Daniil Hunter, Patrick Ricard, Minka Fitzpatrick, Marvin Mims Jr., Joey Bosa, Denzel Ward, Jerry Judy, Kyle Van Noy, Nick Bonito,

Derwin James for the AFC. Okay. That's a lot of people. You know what? Skip this. We're looking for speed guys. And I mean, the NFC has Jameer Gibbs, JC Horn,

Micah Parsons, Brian Branch, Devin Witherspoon, Kaderil Hodge, Nick Bosa, Kavante Turpin, Malik Neighbors, Bobby Wagner,

Jared Verse, and Buda Baker. So by your logic, I guess you'd have to go NFC. Because there's NFLSU. Well, Daniel Hunter, though,

is on the NFC. That's true. But the speedier of the NFLSU. I don't know. This one doesn't interest me all that much. I'm interested. I wish they would tell us who the foursomes are. Yes.

I would like to know who's running anchor. Totally. I respect that. Then there's the Helmet Harmony tonight. Helmet Harmony. Which is a game show that tests players' knowledge of their teammates with three points awarded to the winners. All right.

I'm not going to bet on like what knowledge, like that. Now I think we are getting to a level of degenerate where we're like, Hey, how much do we think these guys know about each other? Well, who's in on this? So I'm guessing like,

so you have a partner. So I'm guessing you just have to know your teammate, right? So it's Cameron Hayward and miles Killebrew of the Steelers, Dion Dawkins and Conor McGovern of the Bills Marlon Humphrey and Kyle Hamilton for the Ravens and on the NFC it's Vita Vea and Tristan Wirfs for the Bucks Jonathan Grenard and Brian O'Neill for the Vikings and Rashawn Gary and Xavier McKinney for the Packers I don't know how well these motherfuckers know each other

like I'm like that's a special level of degenerate where you're betting on what these guys know about each other. So I'm going to pass on that one. And then the final event tonight for Thursday's Pro Bowl games, dodgeball. Dodgeball. A classic game of seven-on-seven dodgeball between conferences played in two matches. Winning team will be awarded six points. Now, I'm going to, like, this might sound offensive in some way here.

But when I think of dodgeball that feels like a very white guy thing like dodgeball like that just feels white. So which team has more white dudes on it? Let's see the AFC participants include Jeffrey Simmons Logan Cook

Ronnie Stanley Chris Boswell Joe Mixon Isaac Sam, Tyler Linderbaum, Patrick Queen, Quentin Nelson, Zaire Franklin, Brian Thomas Jr., James Cook, Ross Matysik, and Trey Hendrickson. Trey Hendrickson, that's a good one. I like that team, and I'll tell you why. Because I think in a sport like that, you want to have guys that have good hands. Because if I recall correctly about dodgeball, if you catch it, the person who throws it is out. And you get a guy back in, right? Correct.

And you know what? I'm going to go, I don't know who's on the NFC, but I got multiple NFL issues on that team. So you said Brian Thomas and Malik's in the nfc so it's brian thomas and patrick queen all right well nfc i would guess would then have malik uh no because he's participating in the other event oh that's all right uh but for the nfc and dodgeball jackson smith and jigba he is one of your yeah eric mccoy all the saints have somebody neato leonard Williams, Bijan Robinson, Robert Hunt, Taylor Decker, Jack Fox, Kyle Juszczyk, Tyler Smith, Andrew Van Ginkle, George Kittle, Andrew DiPaola, Brandon Aubrey, and Byron Murphy. There's a lot of white dudes on that squad, particularly two hard-o white dudes

that play for San Francisco. When you got Juszczyk and, oh boy, this. Like to me, I think Kittle and Juszczyk will take this super seriously it feels like something they would again it's a white guy thing dodgeball very white guy and you've got an opportunity with two kind of hard-o like San Francisco 49er long hair blue blue blue that might be an NFC one but I still have to roll with the AFC because of my NFL SU dude. So I think I'd go with the AFC, but I think the NFC is going to win that thing. I think that when they have potential on,

because really just because of Kittle and use check alone. So I think I might go NFC on that one. And then we can reconvene and discuss the Sunday games. Cause they don't have the lineups for those out yet, but that's going to include the EA Sports Madden NFL 25 Challenge. So that's players playing Madden. I think it's just players. Can you bet on that?

I'm guessing. Holy shit. We're betting on dude that man just when you think you can't get any fucking lower. We're betting on players playing Madden. Holy shit. There's also going to be punt perfect. The great football race tug of war and then the big flag football game tug of war. Plain Madden. Holy shit. There's also going to be Punt Perfect, The Great Football Race, Tug of War, and then the Big Flag football game.

Oh, Tug of War. This is like Battle of the Network Stars. I kind of like this. Dude, I like this a lot. I mean, look, I need something to bet on. It's something different. It's not a boring-ass game. It's some competition.

That's fun. Look, you know what's amazing? It's coached by Peyton and Eli. I mean, bring on the hijinks. You know what's more amazing? Is there like four NBA games tonight. Professional basketball played for meaningful things. It's like, you know, the games matter.

And I would rather watch and bet on dudes trying to guess, like, who knows more about each other on an NFL team. If that doesn't tell you where the NFL is versus everything else, I would rather watch dudes playing tug of war with each other. Battle of the network star, Suzanne Summers, Linda Carter shit. I would rather watch that than watch the NBA tonight or the NHL tonight, or if there were baseball on tonight, I would rather watch this.

This is a fascinating fascinating so we will reconvene we gotta get back by 6 then for the start of the Pro Bowl skills games extravaganza we're degenerates we'll talk with you later