The Josh Innes Show - Can Anyone Stop The Texans?

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

The Texans got another dominant win. Look around the AFC ...no one is great. Look at Denver..Sean Payton will blow a playoff game. It's what he does. Do you believe in the Pats after yesterday? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, so we haven't even talked about the Texans again. Now, they were supposed to win. When you're flying Emirates business class, dining on a world-class menu at 40,000 feet, you'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates, fly better. They did, and they won decisively, and I mean, they were up 17-0 than the first five minutes of that game yesterday, so it was never really in doubt. And look, that's when you know that you've kind of turned a corner is when you're taking on teams you're supposed to beat the shit out of and you beat the shit out of them, right?

Like you beat good teams. They had a nice little run and they're red hot and they've beaten the chiefs who are out of the playoffs, so whatever. But like you beat the chiefs. You beat a lot of these teams that are kind of demons that you've needed to slay. And then you face a team like the Cardinals who do have the ability to throw it around the yard and maybe you overlook them. And then you don't. You just beat the shit out of them. That's what you're supposed to do.

So let's take a quick little time out here, and we'll get into it after these words. I know it seems ridiculous to say, and we talk about this a lot, and maybe it's recency bias because they've rattled off six wins in a row and all that. But the Texans are a legitimate Super Bowl contender if the offense ever gets it cooking. Now, last game it didn't matter because you marched down the field and score 10. I guess 50 seconds into the game, and then they fumble the next kickoff and you've got a short field and you score. Like, you're going to win a lot of games when that happens. When you force turnovers deep in their territory and you score on short fields, you're going to do that. But they still struggled in some short field situations.

If they're ever able to figure that out and they have time to do so, because CJ is clearly playing better now than he was to start the season. There's no doubt. If they figure that out, do you watch teams in the AFC? Because if you do, there's no way you're sitting there today thinking, oh, the Texans have no shot because they clearly do. Now, there's virtually no chance they miss the playoffs. I mean, like, you watched the cult yesterday. Like, I enjoy watching Fat Phil throw the ball around the yard

and maybe in a week or two or three weeks he'll get it figured out. They're running out of time. And now you've got the Raiders coming up this Sunday. The Raiders just got demolished by the Eagles, right? So you should smoke them. Like, they are dead. The Raiders are a dead team. You should win that.

You should get to seven wins. in a row. Chargers is a tougher one. They're fighting for their lives too, although they're sitting pretty pretty at this point. And then you got the Colts who may still be fighting for their lives or may be dead at the end of the year. It is a very realistic possibility. You're a 12 and 5 football team riding a nine game winning street going into the playoffs. This team is so good defensively. It's not a fluke. Like they're just fucking good defensively. And if they're able to figure it out offensively enough. If their offense were, like, if their offense were were 25% better than it is.

If their offense were capable of turning a lot of these field goals into touchdowns, which is something they've struggled with this year, I would say that they're the favorite to win the Super Bowl. I mean, you look at the possessions they had, too many short-field field goals. You know, a 55-yard field goal, a 22-yard field goal, 33-yard field goal. There were, I mean, three field goals, you turn those into touchdowns. So if you turn two of those into touchdowns, it's an even bigger blowout. He'll turn one of them into it and you're up big.

that's the kind of shit you need to do and if you're able to do that I don't think it's ridiculous to say the Texans are winning or could win the Super Bowl because look around the AFC like everybody's blowing the Patriots until the Patriots gag away a huge lead to the bills and then it's like huh I wonder how good they are

blowing a huge lead in that situation at home blowing that lead how good are they you know just look around the AFC the chiefs are done there is no dragon out there Like there's not that idea that, well, once you get in, look out for Mahomes. Mahomes is dead. Not only is he done for the season, the team's out of the playoffs.

So just look around the AFC and tell me the team that the Texans cannot beat, that you would say if they lined up against them, they'd have no chance. That team does not exist. That team is not the bills. The bills are so flawed that it's ridiculous. Like, yeah, Josh Allen is great. This is the most pressure Josh Allen should ever have on him because there's no Mahomes. And the quarterbacks you're going to be lined up against are Bo Knicks and Drake May and maybe old-ass Aaron Rogers or maybe Lamar.

Look, there are decent guys. Like, obviously, Justin Herbert's fine. Like, there are guys that are fine. The pressure is all on Josh Allen because now the guy that's killed you, he's done. He's out. So now this is the cleanest path in theory you've ever had. Now, they had to rally huge to win. They've done that a couple times this year.

I don't buy the bills. I don't think the bills are good. I don't think their weapons are any good. I don't think their defense is any good. I don't believe in the bills. But if you look around the AFC, tell me the team the Texans cannot beat. There is not one. Do you watch the Broncos?

The Broncos are these miracle workers that just pull off these late wins. I'm sick of their shit. I hate the Broncos. I don't want to see them. I need somebody, if they get the buy, which it's looking like they're going to, If they get the buy, I need them to get that buy, have a first round home, a second round home playoff game, and get worked by someone. That's what I want. For the love of Christ, that's all I need.

I hate Bo Nix. I don't want to watch him play football anymore. I hate that team so much. I despise watching the Broncos play. Not just because I hate Sean Payton, and I don't want Sean Payton to have success. I want him to do what he did in New Orleans. I want him to take a team that's going to win 13 games this year and lose some playoff game they shouldn't lose. I need the Broncos to have their beast quake game.

Give me the beast quake game. Give me the 13-win Saints team that had a home playoff game against Kirk Cousins and fucking lost. I need that from you, Sean. Inject that shit into my vein, Sean. That's what I need. For the love of God, give that to me. I'm begging you, Sean. But there's not one team that you would line up against that you would think you don't have a chance,

particularly when you are the best defense in the NFL and people do not score on you. So what would the bracket look like? I need to see like an idea of who would be playing who. AFC, let's see, AFC playoff bracket. Okay, so let's take a look at the today. Let's look at the AFC playoff bracket today. So as it stands,

the Texans would be the seven. They would take on New England, in New England. Now, granted, if you just ignore the fact that it's New England and that's a beast that they have rarely been able to slay, it ain't Tom Brady, it ain't Belichick. It's Vrable, who's done a fucking amazing job, and it's Drake May. Do you honestly believe that that team you just watched

that gagged away the game to Buffalo yesterday. You don't think the Texans could go up there and win that. I do. So if you advance, you end up getting... If you advance, you end up getting... Let's see who it would end up getting in this one. You move on. You would face what, Buffalo, Jackson...

I guess technically it's a matter of where Denver is. Because, right, they recede, right? So you would probably end up getting Denver. If the Texans moved on and faced Denver, in the next round I think they could go to Denver and beat them Denver does not scare me Sean Payton in the playoffs does not scare me

I lived that movie I watched that movie too many times oh look out for the Saints here they come and Beastquate game happens oh look out for the Saints they're a machine oh they lose to Alex Smith and give up 40 points to Alex Smith in the playoffs oh look out for the Saints Kirk Cousins comes into the dome and wins

oh look out for the Saints Should have lost to the fucking Eagles, if not for a ball going through all Sean Jeffrey's hand. I know the way that plays out. Sean Payton does not scare me at all if I'm the Texans. Now, you've got to get in. I feel good about that at this point, right? Like you look at that and you look at the standings. The Colts already have one advantage over you and that's the Colts have beaten you already this year.

Actually, I take that back. They have not beaten you this year. So you're already at a disadvantage there. I misspoke. You're at a disadvantage there. So if you're the Texans, you've got to feel good about where you stand. Probably going to end up in the seven seed. But it's not a lock, right?

Like, where you stand now? You're a game behind Buffalo. That would have been nice if Buffalo had lost that game. It would have been nice if the Chargers had lost their game. You'd be right in the middle of shit. Buffalo should have could have won't have lost and you'd have been there in the six. Okay, fine. You're not.

Big deal. No matter what, you're not going to be playing at home more than likely anyway. It would take a miracle to get a home playoff game anyway. But there's nobody there that I look at and go, they're scary. Like they can't beat them. You think they couldn't beat the Chargers? You think they couldn't beat the Steelers? So, like, it's amazing.

This turnaround is remarkable. There's something about Houston football. It's like the only town where teams start 0 and 3 and still make the playoffs. Like, it's ridiculous to say they could win the Super Bowl. But why not? because Denver's going to think second year quarterback Bo Nix has taken it? I don't.

You think that the Jaguars are taking it? No. You think that old-ass Aaron Rogers and or shitty Lamar? Lamar's been terrible. So do you think that Lamar, who is a notorious playoff choker or old-ass Pittsburgh's going to do it? Nah. Buffalo?

They'd be the favorite, I guess, going in, and then I'm going to win the division. I mean, they're alive. for the division, but I don't think they're going to win the division. What do they have left? Could they end up getting into that second spot? Buffalo has the Browns, the Eagles, and the Jets. So they're easily winning two out of those three.

And the Eagles, by the way, the Eagles are still nothing to smile at and say they're great, great, you beat the Raiders, who gives it shit. So then you look at what the Patriots have left. The Patriots have the Dolphins, the Jets, the Raven. So both of them have shitty matchups coming up. So, I mean, good matchups for them, but shitty teams. but any who I'm excited about just like where the Texans could be again they could fall off a cliff the next couple of weeks and not even make the playoffs but the odds of that aren't very good and does anybody do we really believe that the Colts are going to win any games down the stretch here like great it was fun watching fat Phil sling the ball around the yard a little bit I mean my man's got a noodle arm out there and he's fat and I mean it was just like watching Jared Lorenzen if Jared Lorenzen were just as fat but sucked

I mean, the Colts could go out next week at home and lose to the Niners. They could lose to the Jaguars. They could lose to the Texans. There's a chance they end the season on a seven-game losing streak. So they're getting in. The Texans are getting in. Is there an outside shot they win the division? Sure, and get a home playoff game.

That'd be great. Whether they're getting a home playoff game or a road playoff game, they're playing at fucking 3.30 on Saturday. So it doesn't matter. But anyway, more to come. At Vandal Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games. All of your favorite casino classics, like slots, table games, and arcade games.

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