The Josh Innes Show - Can The Bears Beat The Texans?

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

I went to see the new Kevin Smith movie. I actually liked it. It's much better than some of his more recent stuff. Jilly joins me to look at some of the weekends games and build a few parlays. The Texans shouldn't have any issue with the Bears this weekend. That said, I think Caleb Williams will be exponentially better in Week 2. The only real concern I have will be the possibility of big plays. If the Texans clean that up, they should have an easy dub at home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following was recorded from inside an ice plunge. Ah! Woo! Okay. All right. When a Coors Light is cold enough, the mountains on the can turn blue. So the next time you want a cold lager, cold filter, cold package Coors Light, just wait until those glorious mountains on the can turn blue

it's easy to say that fast when you're freezing cold howdy jmokes it's Josh and Jilly um fresh off a very uh active but not necessarily productive day went to the movies which by the way like on we went to see beetlejuice the other night at the movie theater here in town or one of the local chains it's a six dollar tuesday so like each ticket is six dollars and if you're really cheap you can get the free popcorn and free small sody pop but we're djins it's not free soda it is free popcorn well because popcorn is the biggest robbery in the history of anything like look i've got buddies in the movie business in the movie theater business and where they make their serious bucks are popcorn and sody pop in particular popcorn which

is truly the biggest scam on the damn planet but uh like when we went on tuesday we spent 12 for tickets and I think like another $12 for the popcorn and sody pop right yeah they give you the bargain so it's normally like 20 bucks but on Tuesdays if you're their movie awards member or whatever it is you can get the large soda and large popcorn for 12 bucks so 12 24 bucks so fast forward to today I had nothing to do so I'm like hey, hey, I'm going to go see this new Kevin Smith movie. It's called The 430 Movie, which is a movie set in the movie theater that he used to go to as a kid in New Jersey. He's actually purchased this movie theater.

He owns it now. It's kind of an interesting story. But the movie itself is like a little coming of age type of movie that takes place over the course of a day at this movie theater i actually thought it was cute considering that a lot of the stuff kevin smith makes lately has really been terrible i haven't seen tusk but i've heard that tusk is terrible we did see the jay and silent bob reboot which was fine uh it was just kind of a love letter to jay and silent bob which was fine but kevin smith has made some shit movies and i say this is someone who loves kevin smith this movie wasn't some wacky ass movie it was just a little coming of age movie that takes place in a movie theater over the course of a day kind of like a semi-autobiographical tale

from kevin smith and i liked it but i saw this and with the- Were you the only one in the theater? No, Jilly, there were two others. But I feel stupid because I still bought my aisle seat like I normally do. And I felt stupid sitting in the aisle when there was one person, basically, there were like eight rows in this theater and like there were three people

and I was in one row and the other two people were in different rows. And I'm sitting over in the corner like a dipshit for this movie when I could have just moved over. But since they give you assigned seats now at the movie theater, I would have felt like a dick moving over. Just in case. This actually happened to us before, either at a game or at a movie. It was at the movies. At the movies, where we're like, oh, no one's at this movie, so let's just scoot over.

Because I always get aisle seats. That's something that has happened since I was a boy. I learned that from my dad, especially back in the days when the movie theaters didn't have lounger seats and recliners and tons of leg room. Back in the day, it was like going to a baseball game, really tight seats. You'd have to cross over in front of a bunch of people to go take a leak. So ever since I was a kid, I have learned that you sit on the aisle. That's the way it goes. Sporting events, if at all possible, you sit on the aisle. And if at all possible, you sit on the aisle at the movie theater. Now it's not as big of a deal, but I still did that. Yet when I looked at the thing, I got to pick the seat at the little kiosk I saw that there were only two people at the damn movie yet I still chose the aisle and for whatever reason I

didn't move to the center 10 minutes into the movie but that did happen to you and I once where we're like oh it's not that big of a deal we'll just sit in the middle here and someone walked up and they're like hey you're in our, which never happens except that one time. But the movie was pretty good. But I spent $27 at the movie theater for one ticket, which was $12. And then I got an $8 small popcorn and then a $7 medium soda. So after tax and everything, I spent $27 to go see this 80-minute movie at the movie theater where I was one of three people in attendance. Boy, you've had it rough. Well, I mean, look. So I spent

$27 there. So mark that down. So there's $27. Then I had to get lunch. So I decided to break my no Burger King rule, which generally speaking, I have a no Burger King rule even though it's one of my favorite places. The local Burger King in Sunset Hills, Missouri is truly the worst fast food experience ever.

But I decided to go to a different Burger King, which is in Oakville, technically, which is right before. It's like the last exit before the bridge to cross over to Illinois to go make my beds. So I went over there. They do a good job, but I also use the app. Spicy chicken fries good i have not tried the spicy uh mozzarella fries because they don't have marinara sauce how do you not have marinara sauce for something called mozzarella fries that's dumb you can get anything else you can get like hot sauce you can get ranch you can get all that but you cannot get

marinara sauce for what equates to just a really thin mozzarella stick, which I think is criminal. Yeah, that's kind of messed up. I would have thought mozzarella with that, but what do I know? I know, but they didn't have it. But I got my normal burger. They got it right, so that was fine. So then I drove over to Illinois, and I had these hockey games. I love live betting hockey that takes place either in France or Sweden or Finland or Russia.

I love doing that. That's one of my favorite things to do. So I'm like, well, these games are only in the second period. And I usually do my live betting for the third period, like late in the game where you could take the last possible second to get an empty net goal. So I'm like, well, shit, I got time to kill. So I drove down past Columbia, Illinois, and went to Waterloo, Illinois, to go to Walmart,

where I needed to get some Advil migraine for Jilly. Success. Got it. So that's $11. Good. I'm glad you, I was about to ask. I didn't see it. Yep, I got it.

So that's $11. So now. Wait, back up. How much was the Burger King? $16 at Burger King. $16 at Burger King? It was, but like they don't have like the good type of deals like the McDonald's app has. Like if you play your cards right on the McDonald's app, you can get four nuggies, a spicy McChicken, fries and a sody pop for like $5.

Burger King doesn't do as good of a job with that. No, but they have the crowns. Like you can usually find some sort of deal on the app. Yeah, but I wanted a double Whopper plain, which I got. And so I got the meal, which was like $11. I bet I could find, I'm going to check. No, I used it. I'm telling you now they do have a thing that's a $5 deal,

but it's like a burger and four nuggets. Nobody gets nuggets at Burger King. You can usually get like a free fry. The key is to not order the combo. But I had to, because I also wanted a soda. Yes, but even if you buy just the burger and the soda and use the thing for the free fry, it's still like $3 cheaper. Well, I didn't do that because- I would confirm that, but I forgot I did delete the Burger King app because of that particular Burger King. As did I, but I reinstalled it for today and it worked. So I spent $16.

There was also $4 to get the fry, the chicken fries. So I got those. I got eight of them. Only ate like four of them. They weren't all that great, but they were fine. So I spent $16 there. So $27 at the movie theater to eat fucking popcorn and sody pop and feel sick. Then I went to Burger King, felt even sicker after I ate that. But if you do the math, that's about 16 plus 27, that's 43.

Drive over to Illinois where I got you your Advil because I was waiting to make my hockey bets. And that was $11. So doing the math, that's 27 plus 16 is 43 plus 11 is 55. And before I drove to the movie theater, I went to Huck's where we have, you know, like the 10 cents off on gas and filled up the car, which cost me about $40, 47. You know, the gas was only with the Huck's discount 282 or 272. So that worked out well. So that's about 40 so needless to say or just all told i spent

about a hundred dollars to go to the fucking movies and eat burger king today unemployed truly one of the worst decisions i've ever made well i sat here and worked yes you you did your job now i also in fairness in fairness i was in the lab cooking up hockey victories which all of them hit so so can you finally get the car brake pads that they told you you needed two months ago now yeah i could you could yeah you could be productive i certainly can it's not wrong you're not. I can certainly do that. So basically what happened is I also put in a live bet because I had a free soccer. I had a 30% soccer boost on FanDuel. So I built a live parlay for soccer games that hit. It was like a combination

of games in a bunch of fucking places. So I hit that. So here's how my day started. Let me do the math on this. So I did that play. It hit. So after that hit, I was up $200. I put 50 on another soccer bet that didn't hit. So I'm up 150. Then I played some team from France. I forgot what they were called, but some French soccer team. No, sorry, French hockey team to end up

with over three and a half goals. It was plus 100 for that to happen because it was just betting on the empty netter. Those sons of bitches hit two empty netters. So I hit that. That was plus 100. So I put $107 on that from my victory earlier from the soccer. So I put that in there and that hit. I also had that same play parlayed with another game that I needed to have over three goals. The other team in that, I didn't take the empty netter in that one. I just took either team. I only really take empty netters if they're up by two. That's it. Look, if you guys need a little lesson, let me give you a little lesson for anybody that has the ability to live bet foreign hockey.

Don't go when it might hit if it's two to one and you take the empty netter. But like if it's three to one, your ass takes that empty netter. So the other game that I had in the parlay eventually went to overtime. The other team scored, which was good. So I hit both of those. So then I'm up.

How much am I up at this point? A good amount. And then I put in my play for tonight's Arizona game with my boy Noah Fafita, who's a seven point underdog on the road at Kansas state and his passing yardage total is like two 67. So I took both on both draft Kings and fan duel. Okay. I went to both of them because they both had a 50% parlay boost on that game tonight. So I think I put in like 107. It was some number that I used, 115 actually, because that was kind of a number that was like, basically, if I win something and I have like 8, if I have like 115, I'll just use the 115. So I think I put 115 on his passing yardage over on one site and then 100 on the other. So basically, I bet like 215 to win like three something on this guy that would pay out over 500.

So we'll see. All that said. When are you getting the brake pads? I'm going to get the brake pads. I just feel like maybe you should take out like the 300 from the gambling account before you bet it again. And then it's like you actually won something. You won brake pads for the car that they said desperately needed brakes with like four exclamation points. Yet you still drive it all over town and Illinois like every day.

Like I feel like it's becoming a safety hazard. Maybe I'll go do that. What time does the place close? I guess it's closed already today. Well, we'll see how my plays work out tonight. It'll go do that. What time does the place close? I guess it's closed already today. Well, we'll see how my plays work out tonight. It'll be Monday morning. It's walkable to the house. You can drop it off and walk home.

Yeah, and then we'll have new brake pads. Thank you, whatever the hell that French hockey team was called. You came through for me in a big way. And if my boy Noah Fafita comes through, then we're cooking with gas, baby. Then you definitely take out 300 before the NFL and the college games tomorrow. Then you just set that aside for Monday's break pad run. Now, and I know a lot of our people that listen in Houston have to deal with this. If you don't like use one of these offshore, like a bet online or something,

and you'd put in your bets by going like to Louisiana or something. If you're a Houston person, it sucks to not be able to live bet. Let me tell you something about me. I am a gifted live better. I'm not gifted in a lot of things. I'm gifted at ending up unemployed. I've proven that I'm like elite at that. I'm like the Tom Brady of ending up unemployed. And I am a gifted live better. And when I tell people that are buddies of mine that also bet, like if I were to tell AJ, and he worked in the gambling podcast industry in Las Vegas, now he's in San Antonio, but so he's an active gambler. If I were to tell him the ways that I make money, people would tell me that I'm a fucking asshole. Because most people view it as like, hey, you put in your over-unders,

you put in your spread, you put in your money lines before the game starts. A lot of people are not live bettors that are considered elite bettors. Me, I am the Tom Brady of live betting, but I am like the Deshaun Watson of taking money out of the account when I'm up. Elite Tom Brady, just remember this, elite level Tom Brady type live bettor, Deshaun Watson of taking the money out of the account.

If I were ever good at taking money out of the account, I would have destroyed FanDuel and DraftKings, but I'm just bad at taking the money out. Speaking of bets, and we're going to get into two in a second because you brought something to my attention that, look, I'm also the Tom Brady of leading to dudes getting hurt. We'll get into it. But I had a couple of bets that I didn't put in on the prop bets because they weren't available for Prop Tia Drop. And I've got those in here now. First of all, Kenneth Walker is out. Well, maybe.

I believe he's going to be a game-time decision, but he hasn't practiced this week. So I took Kenneth Walker, who's the running back from Seattle, I took him for a touchdown in the New England-Seattle game. He's not even up there anymore, I don't think. So I'm going to have to find somebody else in that game. And I think I had, but I didn't write it down. But Indian-Green Bay, I say, well, Indian, Indianapolis and Green Bay, that has the prop bets available now. I'm going to take Malik Willis, who will be the quarterback for Green Bay because of one of the quarterbacks I killed, Jordan Love. Over 29.5 rush yards. First of all, Indy can't stop the run. We saw that last week. And Malik Willis cannot throw. So 29.5, I'm going to take his rushing total. Now, Jilly is actually like a prop bet goddess. I think I'm decent at prop bets. I think we're fortunate to even have Jilly is actually like a prop bet goddess. Like, I think I'm decent at prop bets.

I think we're fortunate to even have Jilly in here with us right now because Jilly is the goddess of prop bets. She is the queen. She is an elite prop bet maker. But the problem is she only bets like a dollar, builds a parlay, and like one of her eight legs misses, and she doesn't win that often. Well, lately I've been doing like four or five, but also I do like multiples because I also do, you know, I do the Draft Kings and then there's like, oh, but here's a no sweat, but here's a 50% boost on this. So I make like two, but I never want to take the same thing in both because I'm like, well, if that

misses and kills both, I'll be pissed. But usually then, you know, I'll hit like four or five in one and five or six in the other. And I'm like, well, damn. So I have the right idea. I just don't put them together very well. Needless to say, though, when you're getting seven of eight of them right, you're a goddess of prop bets. Yeah, but I don't have anything to show for it.

Hey, look, I'm the goddess of French hockey, but I have nothing to show for it either because I never take money out. You will have brake pads to show for it. Thank you. So I take Malik Willis over 29 and a half. Another game that didn't have props available yesterday was the Jets in Tennessee. Here's one. DeAndre Hopkins, who plays for the Titans now, of course. We all know him as the guy who was part of the worst trade benefiting the best trade to ever happen for a Houston franchise, which was DeAndre, or rather Deshaun for all the picks, or maybe like Justin Verlander.

That was an epic trade, too. There have been some epic trades. Arguably the worst trade ever for a Houston franchise is the DeAndre trade. He's now in Nashville. So his over-under for catches, just passes caught, is two and a half. So I did a little research on this, because this guy's been an elite receiver since he came into the league. How many times, if you had to guess, Jilly, how many times

in his career has DeAndre Hopkins had fewer than three catches in a game? Now, I'll give you the number of games he's played. 163 career games. How many games has he had fewer than three catches probably less than 10 the answer is 18 but six of those happened when he was a rookie and if you remember his rookie season was 2013 which was arguably the most disastrous season in the history of the Houston Texans that was Shaw pick six as he gets hurt. Then you've got Case comes in, they go two and 14. Six of his 18 career games in which he's had fewer than three catches happened as a rookie. So that means, if doing the math, if he played 16 games that year, so there's 147 for the rest of his career. So 147 games after his rookie season, only 12 of those games he had fewer

than three catches. Now you might say, Josh, his quarterback is Will Levis. Well, I don't think Levis can be as bad as he was week one. And they're at home. And DeAndre only had one catch last week for 10 yards. He's also been hurt though. There's been a question if he was even going to play last week. So I don't know if he's in tip top shape. Well, I'm taking him. Look, that's the one that stuck out to me most. I would also argue another guy to take in that game, which is good, is Brees Hall. He's from the Jets. He's a guy, if you're someone that likes to take rushing plus receiving yards, he is great with that. He's a guy that can probably give you three or four catches. Brees Hall's strong. Really, you know, who else showed up?

Oh, wait a second. I know who you're going to like. And I don't know what his number is. It's probably way elevated because last game was absurd. Lazard, your boy. That's Aaron Rodgers' buddy. Last game I wanted to take him, the opener for the Jets and the 49ers, and there were no Lazard yards available, and I knew knew he was gonna catch him because that's his boy he went there to

be with aaron got hosed last season yeah and then of course he had like two touchdowns in the game yeah didn't take that either so that could be another guy to keep an eye on and then the other game that wasn't available uh earlier was the pittsburgh and denver game maybe i'm stupid here but it's the home opener pittsburgh's feeling pretty good they just gotta win their defenses i don't know if they're good or if it's just oh kirk cousins and the then the falcons are a fraud tj watt is going to murder bo nicks that's fine but his passing yardage total is 173 and a half denver got you know seemingly murdered that score wouldn't indicate, but as a first game of his career, he threw for like a hundred and I want to say 140 something last week.

So I feel like at home, Sean's going to have something cooked up. I'm not telling you they're going to win, but over 173 and a half is where I'd look at in that for Bo Nix. That's the one I have circled for him. So what are your thoughts? I like Bo Nix a lot, but I just think he's not going to have a chance against TJ Watt and the Steelers. Well, you know what you also could do is take the Bo Nix interception again. You know what you could do? Here's a possible parlay. Oh, I didn't even think about this. I like this. So Bo Nix threw a pick last week, which he'll probably do again. He's a rookie. That's what

rookies do. Pittsburgh, good defense, smart defense defense so what if you took a Bo Nix interception a Malik Willis interception and then find you know what Caleb oh yeah shit Will Levis too a Levis interception I can make an argument for that Texans D although I'm concerned I I don't know that I concerned, but it's something to keep an eye on with the Texans secondary. They gave up a lot of big plays last week, and there are playmakers for the Bears. Like, they've, like, now is Rome out? Like, he's, like, he hurt his what? Rome and who's the other guy?

No, he played for the Chargers last year. How am I drawing a blank? Oh, yeah, Keenan Allen. They're both going to be game-time decisions. See? And they'll probably play. But, you know, I am concerned about the secondary. I don't know if this is the day that's going to be tested.

Perhaps there's an opportunity for an interception from Caleb, who I still think is going to be okay. I'm not going to let the 93 yards or whatever he had, that weird game. I think he's going to be okay. And if there's a guy that's got a shot based on the weapons he's got, I don't think Roma Dunze is going to suck either. He was bad week one, but the whole offense was. They got weapons there. I don't think they're going to beat the Texans. I didn't see what Caleb's passing yardage total was, but I think it was in the mid-hundred. No, actually, you know what? His is over 200, I think. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that, A, it can't be any worse than it was last week, and B, the Texans are a liability on the back end. I think Anthony Richardson's

very mid. Yet Anthony Richardson threw for a ton of yards last week because he had two or three passes of like 60-something yards. So so basically three passes were what made Anthony Richardson look great why did those three passes happen because the Texans secondary was not good and I don't know if that is something that's going to continue or if that was just an outlier and they're going to figure it out but I could see Caleb throw it I was going to throw for more than 93 but I could also see him throwing for a pick did you build an interception parlay well I did this if you just were to take Malik Willis Will Levis and Bo Nix you could get that for plus 398 on DraftKings which means they're all fairly heavily favored to throw an interception right so uh because normally if you just take

three things at normal minus 110 that that ends up being plus 600. That means those things on average were like minus 150, minus 160 for those guys to throw in. Caleb's minus 160. That's what I'm saying. I think he's going to throw a pick. But you throw him in there, it becomes plus 710. Oh, shit. Again, that's...

Four picks. That's all you need. Four interceptions. I think that's a fun one. So consider that one, kids. I like that one. Are there any other ones before we get into other stuff that you've looked at? I know you were texting me a couple of things earlier today.

I know that you're a big Austin Echoler gal. He's plus 200 for a ton. JD is plus 120 in that game for a touchdown. What about, well, if you're building parlay is a parlay piece that you really love is um david montgomery as well if you're looking for a touchdown parlay my go-to touchdown scorer yeah so that's of course from the lions um i think i was fighting i'd say fighting but some saints fan disagreed with me on social media about something today uh talking about the Saints and Cowboys.

I said, I think the Saints are going to get worked. And I think that CeeDee Lamb is going to have over a hundo. His number is 85 and a half. It might have gone up. I think he's going to have a shit ton. Like he's going to eat. And the guy, this random, you know, whatever you would call a McDougal from New Orleans is. He's a Boudreaux.

Yes. A Boudreaux, although he was a black Boudreaux. Black Boudreaux says, we got the corner to shut him down. Your corner's beat the hell up. Dude's got a hamstring issue and he's questionable. Now, will he probably play? Yes, but a dude's questionable on Friday.

You think he's going to go out and shut down CeeDee Lamb on a Sunday? Come on, man. In Dallas, home opener? Not going to happen going to go out and shut down C.D. Lamb on a Sunday? Come on, man. In Dallas? Home opener? Not going to happen. No, but I really like Naj this week. Naj.

Against Denver. Apparently their rush defense is just absolutely awful. Well, he didn't get us the Tud last week. I think he will this week. Naj is one of our favorite Tud scorers. And then what else? Oh, I don't know. That's really all I've looked at so far.

Well, Jilly is going to go to the lab here soon. And when she comes out, I'm telling you, she comes out with magic. I'm trying to think of what my favorite of these is this week. Also, did you see the roof's going to be open? Oh boy, we're opening the roof on a Sunday

night, huh? A primetime roof open game? Boy. How about that, huh? huh well I think I really like I like the idea of Chuba Hubbard getting 13 attempts because I do think that game is going to be closer this week for Carolina they're not going to be down 20 in the first quarter and be forced to throw really my favorite out of all these is seeded and really when my favorite comes from a game involving a team I know fairly well like last week what did i tell you rashid shaheed first quarter dude has a 60 yard tut so cd lamb's gonna go off just remember that now you brought something

to my attention that um involves last night's game when tua uh had his uh annual concussion and it was one of those gnarly ones. The gnarliest concussion I've ever seen, and his was one of them a couple years ago where he fell down trying to get up. The Tom Savage, I don't even know, did Savage even end up with a concussion in that? I don't remember. He had to. He had to.

I mean, the dude, like, arms straight up in the air, like, it was fucked. Now, that basically is what happened last night to a guy really on an innocuous hit. It wasn't really anything like a blow to the head. Like a guy coming in and hitting him with the crown. He was the one putting his head into the mar. I know. It's crazy. So he has the arm

straight up and then he's trying to feel his hand. He's concussed, right? You have brought it to my attention that now as you guys know if you've listened to this pod i think we discussed it that i have built multiple 4 000 yard passer parlays which are parlays including players that i believe will throw for 4 000 yards here's the one that has the most value for me okay Okay. Let me read you this parlay. Okay.

So on fan duel, I had a 25% boost to use on this. So I put in seven or six quarterbacks to throw for over 4,000 yards. And with the boost, it was plus 10,571. So I put $50 on that and it would win $5,335. In that parlay is Derek Carr, who only threw for like two somethings, so they're going to have games where he's going to have to throw for $300.

I'm not worried. CJ Stroud is in that parlay. Oh, no. Hold on. Oh, shit. This is bad. This is bad. This is bad news. It's like, can you undo the parlay?

Undo the parlay. Jared Goff is in the parlay. Dak Prescott is in the parlay. These are all solid, right? The other two who are in the parlay are Jordan Love, who is dead, and Tua, who is dead. So in the first two weeks of the year, my 4,000-yard passer parlay has killed one-third of the legs of the parlay.

That's why I'm concerned because now how many are left there? Three? Four. Okay, so who's getting hurt this week? Well, Derek Carr. Here's the thing about Derek Carr, as we've discussed. Derek Carr will's the thing about Derek Carr as we've discussed Derek Carr will be hurt the issue is Derek Carr will never leave the game because Derek Carr refuses to leave games and leave the team when he's hurt despite the fact that he's always fucking hurt in some way

so maybe it'll be Derek Carr then we'll get to see Spencey Rattler over in New Orleans. Maybe. But yeah, so Tua, but the season's not over. He's got a concussion. Like, a concussion's not there for a billion years. No, but there's a lot of people saying he may be done forever. Yeah, you know who didn't say he'd be done forever? Fucking Tua. So a bunch of people on TV. It's really easy for people on TV to be like,

ugh, I think he's done. That's his third fucking concussion. You think this dude's gonna want to end his career on a concussion, on an innocuous play like that? No. It's easy for guys to go on TV who don't play anymore, people like me who never play, and say, hey, for your own safety and for your family, let's get you off the field. That dude ain't going to leave the field. And by the way, his dad will kick his ass if he doesn't win the Super Bowl. His dad's a seemingly abusive jamoke, if you remember those stories from when he was in Alabama. So, like, no, he's not, and he'll be back. Maybe he'll be back this week.

Who knows? And by the way, if I'm going to lose somebody from the 4,000-yard parlay, it might as well be someone who's probably the most likely to go out there and have more 250 to 300 yard games so Tua doesn't concern me because as we've seen the Dolphins kind of stink and they're gonna have to throw for a bunch of yards in a bunch of games and um and Love is the one I'm concerned about because his was gonna teeter on it anyway but if he misses two or three weeks he's gonna have to throw for a whole hell of a lot to make the parlay possible but But I have gone out and I have essentially murdered two people. That is what I've done. I've killed two NFL quarterbacks.

But that was always the joke. If I bet on them, they get hurt. And here we are, the one that could win $5,000, which you know what sucks is when you see people post their wins, and they seem so easy when they post them like here was my five leg parlay that i put ten dollars on and won 20 grand you know it seems so easy you look at this parlay and tell me why if you were to look at that you'd go that seems like a layup that's a layup parlay until you kill them i'm gonna be like terrified

every hit cj takes on sunday now do you think they're going to win on Sunday? I do, unless you kill CJ. No, but we also got the neck. So even if CJ goes out, it's the neck. Okay. What if it ends up being the neck versus Caleb Williams? Who do you give the advantage to? Probably Caleb. I don't know. I mean, look, they gave the neck a nice contract. And he seems like a nice fella, but still. I don't know. Are there any games in particular that get you excited this weekend? Like looking at the spreads or any of these? We also like to build a parlay that includes all winners, right?

So if we were to look at the winners of these games, just off the top of my head, I'd go Dallas, Detroit, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Chargers, Baltimore, Seattle, Indy, Jets, Washington, Rams, Chiefs, Pittsburgh, Houston. So if we took all, and I didn't put the Monday game in there, but those just looking at the schedule, first thought, not thinking about the games or anything, just looking at the matchups, those were the ones that I like. And most of those are going to be favorites. I don't think any of those are underdogs, or at least not heavy underdogs that I took to win in those games. So those would be the winners. Let's build a winner's parlay really quick, Jilly.

Oh, just winners or spreads? Well, first, let's just go money line first for me, because let me put in the games that I like, and you tell me, because last week I took eight money lines, and I missed it by one goddamn game. One. It would have won like 700 bucks on like a $5

bet, and I didn't get it because of, who the hell cost me last week? Oh, it was the Bengals. The fucking Bengals, who are going to go to Kansas City and get their dicks knocked off. But hopefully Joe throws for over 229.5 yards and Jamar Chase has a receiving long of 22.5 yards over.

Thank you. All right, so do you have the site ready? Yeah. I'm just going to go through them then. So you had to go Ravens. Yep. 49ers. Yep. 49ers. Yep.

Cowboys. Yep. Chargers. Yep. Colts. Yep. Who'd you do in Detroit? Detroit.

Jets. Yep. Seahawks Patriots. Seahawks. Jaguars. Yep. Commanders. Washington.

Rams. Rams. Chiefs. Chiefs. Commanders. Rams. Rams. Chiefs. Chiefs. Stillers. And Texans. What's the value on that bad boy? That is.

That's like 12 games or 13 games, right? So that should have a good value. Plus $826,033. All right. Which means if you put $100 on that, you would win $826,033. Or you just put one on it and win, you know, $8,000. I know. See, that's a solid little move there.

And maybe one day that day will happen that all of them, because none of these are huge. Like, I'm not banking on any huge underdogs to win. I mean, I think most of the people I've picked or most of the teams I've picked are favorites or slight underdogs. So there you go. I don't think you picked any underdogs to win. I mean, I think most of the people I've picked or most of the teams I've picked are favorites or slight underdogs. So there you go. I don't think you picked any underdogs. This is kind of the week for it.

This could be the kind of week where it works out and you get a lot of the home teams, right? Because like Houston, Kansas City, Washington, let's see, Baltimore, Minnesota. Oh, no, no. So it's about half and half. But still, that's fun. One day that will hit.

Like last year when we were in Houston, I put in one of the bets on FanDuel where you go like every team to make a field goal was one of the bets. And it was plus like $20,000. So I put in like five bucks on it and hit that. I'm like, fuck, that was awesome. But yeah.

You should put that one in for like a buck. Not 50. One. But then the hard part is when you see it and it says 50, you're like, fuck, that was awesome. But yeah. You should put that one in for like a buck. Not 50. One. But then the hard part is when you see it and it says 50, you're like, boy, life changes. If we put, like, look, you put $50. I don't even know if they'd let you put $50 on that bet we just put in there because they cap the amount you can win on some of those, I think. But still, but still, I like it.

Then do it. I might. I would, again, recommend maybe in the middle, do 20. Okay, that's fine. All good, you know? But like, I would hate to finally hit one of those and it be one that you live with this regret of, oh, if I just would have put 10 bucks instead of a dollar,

you know, we could be living in Costa Rica or something right now, you know? You don't want to do that. We wouldn't because you wouldn't take any of the money out. Touche. Alright then. Well, everybody, we love you. We appreciate you and let's see, hopefully the Texans get a win

and this is going to sound dumb for my Philly people. The Birds play on Monday, right? Who do they play? Oh, they're going to win that. That's easy. Sorry, Philly people. I need to pay better attention. But there you go. So good. Great.

Wonderful. Got to go grill some chicken. Get ready to watch Noah Fafita put up some passing yards tonight. That game's in about two hours. And all right. We'll see you guys later.