The Josh Innes Show - College Football Week 1

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

Last night I stayed up into the wee hours of the night watching college football. We are so back. Lets talk about UT/OSU. Lets talk about LSU/Clemson. Should Patrick Mahomes be concerned about Baby Mahomes? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Good morning, everybody. Welcome in, all up in us, fresh off the first real night of college football Thursday. I was up late watching, uh, Well, actually, real talk, I fell asleep at like 1130, but I dozed off watching Wisconsin. I was flipping back and forth between the Wisconsin game, Wisconsin and Miami, Ohio. I made some dreadful bets last night. I feel like I was betting just for the sake of betting. And then the one that I'm really mad about myself on is this Dylan Riola, who, look, we all despise this guy because he's cosplaying Patrick Mahomes, right?

So they call him mini Mahomes, but he's just a weirdo that's totally cosplaying the guy. Like if this were like a chick obsessed with a dude, we'd say he's a fucking lunatic, but because he's this dude obsessed with Patrick Mahomes, people find it endearing. If I were Patrick Mahomes, I'd find it creepy as shit. Now, if this were like an eight-year-old kid doing this, remember when we were kids and we would all mimic the batting stance of our favorite player? Like I remember when I was a kid playing baseball, Mark McGuire, was the shit, right? so you'd go up there and you would do kind of his crouched stance

not like a Bagwell crouch that's like really pronounced but a crouch stance and he did that move where he wiggled the bat back and forth between his legs but like just moving his wrists you know what like he was swinging his whole arm is just the wrist going back and forth and you'd mimic that or I'd mimic Jim Edmund's batting stance with kind of like the wide left handed stance with a sexy upper cut swing or Griffey you would do the stance that was more of a straight up stance Not totally straight up, but like it looked, like everybody did that.

When you were a kid, you would mimic your favorite players in everything. Like Jordan, tell me what fucking kid on the planet in the 90s wasn't doing the tongue wag. You couldn't find a kid that wasn't doing the tongue wag. But it's a totally normal thing for like an eight-year-old kid to want to be their favorite player. Or like shoot fadeaway jumpers like MJ, batting stance like your favorite player. You know, touchdown dance celebrations like Dion. Like, everybody did that shit when you were a kid, right? When I played flag football at 10 years old, I would do the Neil Smith home run swing celebration if I did anything.

So I'd point, call the shot, and do the swing. Everyone did that. When you're a 20-something-year-old dude getting paid to play college football, you're basically a pro athlete. And when you're out there doing all the same shit as an adult man, you're just some single white female. shit. That is some single white female energy. If I were Patrick Mahomes, I'd have a restraining order against old buddy, like yesterday. Hold on. Let me play a couple of commercials and we'll continue. Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia. So your child can continue to discover all the world

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Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. My ass would be like you can't be within 500 yards of me. It'd be like dude on the sex offender list by a park or an elementary school. I'd be like, oh, buddy, stay over there and don't come near me. But instead, the guy kind of exit on a little bit. It's like he's flattered by the fact that this weirdo is cosplaying him. If anybody else, if you're doing this in

any other walk of life, we'd be like, that guy's dangerous. If we were doing this in anything else, if this were, you know, like some guy that's obsessed with an actress, we'd be like, ma'am, you may want to look out because there's going to come a day that he's going to knock on your door and you're going to go missing, and they're going to find him wearing your skin as a suit. That's what we would be doing if it were a woman. But since it's a dude, we're like, oh, that's kind of nice. Look, he kind of wants to be Patrick Mahomes.

Oh, it's kind of cute. Look, I'd be scared shitless right now. If I were Patrick Mahomes, I'd be like, what are my options? I need a restraining order against this son of a bitch because this dude is nuts. like the weird part about it is it'd be like it's one thing to like dress just like him and have the same hair and the same sunglasses and the same pregame celebration and the same little handworm replaced in the same place the same sock height but then like after a play is over old buddy like does the same little Mahomes thing where he waves people kind of almost in a feminine

nature back into the huddle and tells everyone i'm like what the fuck are we doing here this guy is going to kill you at some point patrick Then you had Kelsey there because he went to Cincinnati and Taylor is there and Jason Kelsey is there. So the Kelsey's are at the game. I think Mahomes was at the game as well and the game was in Kansas City. And that's when I should have known that that guy was going to play the game of his life in front of his fucking hero. And I was going to bet his passing yards. That was my plan.

Like all day, I'm like, I'm just going to take Dylan Raola's passing yards. Then I made the mistake of reading one of these sites. Like every now and then I'll Google Because early in the season There may be guys I don't know a lot about So I saw the quarterback from Cincinnati All right His name is Brendan Soresby

And one of these stories was like Let me tell you guys Brendan Sorsby tonight Over 214 yards is the play You take Brendan Sorsby over 214 This guy is ready He's primed he's going to sling it And it's going to be a shootout

Then as it turns out Even though the score was close The game itself was just awful in terms of offensive football. And the guy I was going to take early on, Dylan Rayola, that dude goes out and throws for his yards easily. And this dude, Brendan Soresby, lays a giant egg with 69 yards. Dude averaged 2.8 yards passing. Cincinnati's offense was dreadful. I mean, they ran for 202 yards.

That's nice. And Sorsby led the team in rushing with 96 of those, but couldn't throw for shit. So last night, I didn't have a ton of success in college football. my prop bets. And that's on me, because I should have listened to myself. Like, even if you listen to me for your prop bet picks, which we'll do prop to you drop and all that kind of stuff. And look, it's, there's nothing wrong with listening to other people and seeing just different opinions. But I just blindly went into it with, oh, this guy must know what he's talking about, because I have no fucking clue who Brendan Sorsby is. And if this

guy tells me Brendan Sorsby can sling it, then God damn, he must. And then he threw for 69 yards. and it's not like he was hurt. He just sucked. And that's what happened to me last night. I had a couple of little ones that hit and a couple of ones that didn't. And, you know, it is what it is. But tonight we get it again. More college football tonight is exciting.

I love it. We're back. We're less than a week away from the NFL now. I love it. We're back. Life is good. Let me go and look at some of these games that we got coming up tonight. There are a couple of good ones like Coach Primes back at it tonight.

What's he going to do without his kid? How long is he even going to be interested in coaching without his kid? And, you know, you battled cancer and, like, had your bladder removed and shit. Like, how long does Coach Prime actually want to do this? But they got Georgia Tech at home tonight. You've got Auburn and Baylor. Like, just in name recognition and brand name, Auburn and Baylor is a really nice Friday to start the season matchup.

I don't know how good either one of those teams are going to be. But just straight up, brand recognition, Waco, Texas, Auburn Baylor is a very attractive. matchup. And then you get Western Michigan and Michigan State. That game will be on FS1. And it was almost blacked out for all you folks that have YouTube TV. If you're a YouTube TV person, they had to come to a deal a couple of days ago or you wouldn't have had the Fox channels on there.

And if you wanted to watch Michigan State and Western Michigan, or more importantly, Ohio State, Texas, then you maybe weren't going to be able to. But as it stands now, you're able to because they came to. an agreement and got a deal done. The other thing, speaking of Ohio State and Texas and TV, like I get that I now live in a part of the country that seems to embrace early football, early start time football more than the parts of the country I've lived in before, right? Like this is not a, like where I grew up, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, if you played a game

at noon or 11 o'clock, so that's what it would be for us, like 11 o'clock games in the central time zone, were death. just fucking terrible right no one wanted to be part of these like if you got an 11 o'clock matchup at lSU that means you were facing mississippi state and no one's interested in the stadiums three quarters of the way full no one's locked in it sucks nobody wanted to play those but then you see people in this part of the country and they view noon games on saturday as this big deal i say noon but the kickoff would be uh i believe what the kickoff would be a 1 o'clock or is at noon east?

I forgot what time if it's noon east or if it's 1 east. But either way, like I guess if it's called Big Noon kickoff, you would think the game would be starting at noon. So it would be noon. I'm dumb. So it'd be noon because the 11 o'clock games would be in the central time zone. So it'd be at noon. So you get a 12 o'clock or they're about start time. You get one of the sexiest early season matchups you're going to get. Not to say that I believe in rankings preseason-wise.

They are just there for creating this drama. These matchups with these rankings exist because Texas and Ohio State would be a sexy matchup on its own. But Texas, Ohio State with a one and a three next to each team, that just makes it super sexy for the average person to go, holy shit. It's number one versus number three to start the season out of conference. Wow, that's attractive. All that said, the fact that that game is at noon on Saturday is criminal. and I get that a lot of Midwestern and upper Midwestern people think that noon games are great, and that's kind of what they grew up with, and that's kind of what they enjoy.

And I grew up down in Baton Rouge where a 7 o'clock game is the dream. You've had all day to get liquored up, lubed up, ready to go loud and rowdy, and you don't have to, you know, the worst. The worst about early games is like you want to drink for the game. So, you know, you get a little booze in you. You watch the LSU game at 11 o'clock. games over at 2, 2.30. And then it's kind of like, the fuck, I got other shit to do.

Like, now I got to, like, why am I doing this? Like, I don't even want to sit around and drink for this because now I got to go find other shit to do with the rest of my time on Saturday. The best part about this situation is, you know, you get up and you party and you tailgate and you get lit. And then you're liquored up and lubed up and you're ready to go at 7 o'clock. Then when the game's over, you go home, you pass the fuck out. That's the way God intended college football, particularly for our southern friends.

God did not intend for college football to be played at noon, not big games. If you want to play Toledo and Kentucky at noon, that's fine. If you want to play Navy versus the Virginia Military Institute at noon, fine. Tulane versus Northwestern, play that shit all day at noon. Florida, Atlantic, and Maryland all fucking day. Play it at 9 a.m. No one gives a shit. Texas and Ohio State, Arch Manning.

You're seeing new quarterback at Ohio State, new quarterback. quarterback at Texas, two teams that the world expects to be in the college football playoff, what the fuck are we doing playing this game at noon? What are we doing wasting this matchup? Now, I'm happy that we get to see LSU 7 o'clock, but LSU always plays in prime time to start the season because the last five years, really a lot of LSU games over the last 20 years that have opened the season have been games that are played, you know, in prime time, whether it be on the Saturday, the Sunday, or even the Monday of this opening weekend.

I mean, LSU historically, opens the season at Cowboy Stadium against TCU or Oregon. Or they open in Atlanta against North Carolina. Or they open in the dome against Florida State. Or they open at Florida State. Or they open at UCLA. Or they've had a ton of these regular season games to open the season or the second game of the season. against a big-time opponent. They're looking for the first time in like five years to win an opener.

And this one might be their most difficult on the road. This is not a, oh, we're playing in the Superdome against Florida State where we've got 90% of the crowd in our favor. They're going to Clemson where 99% of the people in the stadium are rooting against you. You're going to Clemson where Daabbeau finally decided to get into the portal. You're going to Clemson where Kate Klubnick is expected to make a jump. And you're on the road. and here we go.

So you got that sexy matchup. That's at 7.30 East on Saturday night. There's some good matchups. Then, of course, the Sunday game, which LSU has played multiple times, Notre Dame and Miami. I don't buy Miami at anything ever, right? And I really don't buy Carson Beck. I am an anti-Carsenbeck guy. I think Notre Dame wins that when they're a slight favorite.

South Carolina is going to beat Virginia Tech to start the season as well. That game's on Sunday. but Lenoris, that's our sleeper Heisman Trophy candidate, sleeper candidate for the Heisman, Lenora Sellers. Then on Monday night, you cap off this whole thing with the start of the Belichick era, which is going to be a disaster. And I know that that's kind of a sexy talking point or a sexy opinion to echo, but it is the right opinion.

North Carolina and Bill Belichick is going to be a stone cold disaster. That means he won't win a couple of football games. You know, maybe they upset. Now, if they upset TCU to start the season, that's a sexy win for them. They're at home. Their people are into it. They're buying the tickets in Carolina. They're playing TCU.

They're a slight underdog to TCU. If they pull that game off, hey, you know what? There's a little buzz. If they lose that game, how long does Bill Belichick stay interested in this job? That's my question as it relates to Belichick at North Carolina. How long does he stay interested? How do you go from coaching Tom Brady and competing? for Super Bowls. NFL, you're widely

considered one of the two or three greatest coaches of all time, if not the greatest coach of all time. Do you really want to be slumming it at North Carolina playing against TCU and East Carolina? How long do you want to do that? Like, the North Carolina

gig was a spite job for this guy. I truly believe he just took this job because he was so pissed at the NFL for not giving him a shot. And he's going to show, look, I got a little bit left in me and I'm going to go win at college just to show, hey, Tom Brady, wasn't the only reason I fucking won, because everybody looks at Brady winning that, which we will all consider a fraudulent championship in 2020 during the Rona.

It's a fraudulent championship unless the Saints would have won it, in which case it would have been a totally legitimate championship, but it was an illegitimate championship. But people still look at Brady as well. Brady clearly didn't need Belichick, and Belichick sucked without him, so he clearly needed him. Belichick did this out of spite to try to prove that he's worth the shit. It's going to be a fucking disaster at North Carolina, and I can't wait to watch. I'm locked in college footballs here baby let's fucking go