The Josh Innes Show - Drunken Instagram Posts

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

I was intoxicate Sunday. You know how I know I was intoxicated Sunday? I woke up Monday and saw an emotional post in Instagram. I'm starting to feel I cannot love another animal as much as I loved Luther. Is this normal? I'd think so. Also, my buddy is convinced I have some form of anxiety. Doesn't everybody? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Alrighty, friends, what's going on? Welcome in. I have just had a lot of stuff going on. So yesterday I posted some of the best stuff stuff. And honestly, I've like I want to be very clear. Yesterday I was not hungover. I don't get hungover. That said, I did drink a shitload of Bush light on Sunday and did not eat a lot and I had a stomach ache. Call that what you will. I

don't call that a hangover because I don't get hangovers because I'm a fucking machine. But I don't know what the issue has been lately but like I feel like I get drunk faster. I don't know if the issue has been lately, but like I feel like I get drunk faster. I don't know if that happens in your old age as you, you know, near 40. I don't know if you just, you know, near 40 and all of a sudden, you know, you get drunker faster. Then again, as we talk about a lot when I sit outside and play

Yahtzee on a Sunday and it's a nice warm day the the beers go down real fast and before you know it you've had like seven or eight beers like that so it is very possible that I just drank a shitload but here's the other problem here's how I know I drank too much on Sunday. When I woke up on Monday and looked at Instagram, I had an Instagram story about how much I miss Luther, which means, and I don't remember a ton of this, which means when Jilly went to bed, I sat my ass on the couch and watched sad country music videos and probably cried for four hours. Because we watched what Sunday would have been, what sporting event was Sunday? Was there anything on Sunday?

I don't recall. But I'm sure we watched something. Did LSU play Sunday? No, LSU played Saturday. So I don't know what we did. Actually, you know what? I have a vague recollection of how things went down. For some reason, we put on Air Bud when we got inside and just started watching Air Bud,

then Jilly's like, you know what? I think I'm going to go to sleep. And I'm like, you know what? I should go to sleep, but no, I'm going to sit here and watch sad country music videos and just sob. and watch sad country music videos and just sob. And I knew it when I got up, went to the bathroom Monday morning. I knew when I opened up Instagram and I saw that I have a story. I very rarely post stories. So when I saw there was a story, I'm like, shit, I don't like where this is going. Hey, hold on. Let me play a couple commercials. The NBA finals are finally here and after spending the playoffs all over the pick six app from DraftKings. Well, we're ready for the championship round and this is your last shot to win some real cash before the season ends. The simplest

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including New York and Ontario. Voidware prohibited. One per new customer. Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable. Pick six bonus picks that expire in 14 days.idware prohibited. One per new customer bonus awarded is non-withdrawable Pick6 bonus picks that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. Terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. So I'm like, shit, I know where this is headed. This is headed to a bad place where I've posted something emotional. The positive about me when I drunk text or drunk tweet or drunk Instagram is that it's usually something very nice,

something very sweet, something that is, you know, not going to get me in trouble. Usually the things that get me in trouble on Instagram or on Twitter are things that I actually thought about, which is also strange, which is maybe a bad thing. But when I'm hammered, I'm a very nice, sweet person. Like I go back and I really talk about this all the time, but I'm having long form conversations with people via text that I haven't talked with in forever. Like it's bizarre, right? And

that's kind of how I operate. I'm very nice. So when I saw that I had posted something my first thought was, shit, it's probably something harmless but probably something extremely lame that only a guy sitting up watching 1990s country music videos for the sole purpose of sobbing would post. Sure enough, that's what it was. A picture of my dead dog who I said, I miss my best friend, to which Jilly the next morning goes, A, you must have been really hammered if you're posting about Luther. B, how do you think Ross feels when you say that Luther is his best friend? And I would tell Ross the truth. You and I will never be best friends. We will be very good friends, we will be solid friends,

I will take care of you and love you and make sure you don't run out into the road and get flattened by a car. I will make sure whenever another dog bites you we take you to the ER, you can sleep in the bed despite the fact that I'm fairly certain you're the reason I got that damn tick in my head. By the way, I am alive, which is good news. I will make sure you are fed. I will play with you. I will walk you. I will appreciate you. I will

give you belly rubs. I will do all of that stuff. But you and I will never, ever have the relationship that I had with my first dog. It will never happen. There will never be another dog that comes close to that. And I'm thinking that's normal. And I don't know, maybe you guys can message me or something and send me, you know, texts, tweets, whatever, and say, you know, Josh, you're right, because I remember when my favorite dog died, there was no other dog that could replace that dog. And that's just how it is. And Jilly's like, well, do you think that hurts Ross's feelings? And I'm like, well, he doesn't fucking know. But let's operate in the world where the dog has feelings about these kind of things. Perhaps he'd understand. It's like I was watching the final episode of The Conners.

We talked about this a couple of weeks ago where I watched the final episode of The Conners just to kind of see how they closed up and put a bow on the Roseanne story. Of course many seasons before they had unceremoniously dumped Roseanne because see she tweeted things that could get you in trouble when she was not of this world. She was on Ambien or whatever she was on and tweeted dumb shit that, you know, I don't think she meant to be offensive, but she was offensive and it was the kind of shit that's going to get you booted off a TV in 2025. So like, I understand that, but Roseanne wasn't on the show. They killed her off like five seasons before and I just wanted to see how they put a bow on it. And there's a scene in that show where they're trying to get the pharmaceutical company, Big Pharma as it were, to pay a big sum of money for

Roseanne becoming addicted to and eventually dying because of her addiction to these pain pills. And there's one point where like Dan's going off on these people in this hearing and he says something about like how much he loves his wife or whatever. Now keep in mind I guess and I haven't followed the show all that closely so I don't know if he's married to or if he's just dating but he's got Peg Bundy in his life now. He's got Katie Seagal in his life and that's his lady and in a way she was kind of offended by that but like everyone knows that Dan Conner

is always going to love Roseanne more than he's gonna love some new bitch that comes in because Roseanne OD'd on pain pills, right? That's just how it goes. And you love that person and you enjoy that person. And there are certain things that are different in your life with that person or the other person. But when it comes to the dog, when it comes to my first dog, when it comes

to my dog that was truly my best buddy in the world, Luther, there is not another dog that can replace that. And in a way, I feel kind of guilty about it but it's just kind of the way it goes. Then my guilt kind of subsides a little bit when I go, well, you know, you could be, you know, dead. So consider yourself fortunate to live here. I don't mistreat you. I actually, to a degree, tolerate you because you're a fucking madman on walks. Let me tell you a story. And by the way, Ross is a sweet boy. I'm being half serious when I talk about him being a madman on walks. He's gotten better. But yesterday we're at the park and this turtle we're on this little

path and a turtle walks across right little turtle and it was actually a relatively large turtle and i don't know if like turtles bite and shit i don't know much about turtles right i know that the tortoise beat the hare and i know that because that nice old man told kocho that story many years ago who wanted wanted? That's right, go Tago. You know all that. So I get it and I'm thinking nothing of this but Ross is now obsessed with this turtle who conveniently was trying to make his way to a little pond but stopped right in the high grass before the pond and put his head and his arms and his legs inside his shell and Ross was obsessed with this turtle to the point that I have to keep I was trying to

pull him to hold him back and like he starts wheezing because this harness like he doesn't know what's good for me. He doesn't know his own strength. I don't know what it is but he is a mad man. I'm doing this and like I can't get mad at him. He wants to you know get the turtle but that was you know like that's the difference like Like, it's just different, right? And I don't know, there's a part of me that feels some level of guilt that I know no matter what dog we adopt, if we adopt 10 more dogs

by the time I die, if we adopt two more dogs before I die, and this is the last dog I ever adopt. Like, look, I'm looking right now at a sketch on the wall in our bedroom of Luther with a halo. I'm like, I just, this was my dog, you know? He's my dog, I don't know what to tell you. So, anywho, that was, so it's intriguing, right? Like, there's just things you learn when you have new animals when there's a new animal in your life you learn different things that make that animal tick and make that animal go and so there so then like Julie will be like well why didn't you post some pictures on Ross's gram and I'm like honestly I just don't feel the same passion for it as I did for posting for loose I don't know if it's like some sort of block I have. I don't know if I'm just being a dipshit about it. Like I like, I don't

sit there and think about it every day. And I don't get sad about it every day. And of course, I got, you know, hammered. I like I was like that level of drunk where Jilly would tell me shit that we did. And I'm like, I don't remember. And I don't do it on purpose. I'm just kind of sitting there and you chug some domestic beers. And before you know it you've had ten domestic beers. So you're like, okay rock on. She's like, yeah, the brats you made last night were great.

I'm like we had brats. I remember this and I made chicken. I made drumsticks like some chicken legs on the grill or whatever. She goes those are pretty good too. I don't really like drumsticks, but they were pretty good. I'm like, I don't remember eating these fucking drumsticks. Apparently I'm a machine when I'm intoxicated. Like there is an element of no fear in cooking

when you're intoxicated. And by that I mean, like, if you're sober, like you can think about fucking something up. When your inhibitions are kind of thrown to the wind, you just kind of go out there and you're like fucking emerald. Bam, bam, and just like throwing shit in pots and like you're feeling like a G. You know, like I'm like I'm killing this shit today. I am awesome. But I think that you know what? This is going to sound odd. One of my buddies thinks I have some level of kind of like just generalized anxiety which maybe we all do now. Like and maybe everybody has always had this, but nobody

knew it. There's two trains of thought. I know I'm all over the place here. But there's two camps in this. There's like, back in the wilderness and pioneer days, nobody had time to think about things like anxiety. It was just life, or everyone had anxiety. They just didn't have it diagnosed. You get your fucking ass kicked. If you know you told Paul that you didn't want to get out of bed today because you were anxious about something. He'd probably beat your ass with his belt. So

I'm sure that some form of anxiety exists and I don't dismiss it, but I'm not fearful all the time. I'm just always in my head if that makes sense. So I was talking to my buddy about that and he's because he's a medicine and he's like yeah, you probably have some form of like generalized anxiety and it probably wouldn't help or hurt to take some sort of medication but I'm like I'm not taking any fucking medications. So tell me how to get out of my head here and

into a pleasant space. It's like well, probably part of it is because you don't have a job and you're looking for a job and there's the stress of that. You don't know where you're going to make money. So that kind of adds to it. Maybe you should exercise more because exercise is a natural like antidepressant or something like that. And I'm like that sounds like a great idea but I'm not. And then you know you're I've gotten I've had to have gained like 25 pounds since I stopped taking Manjaro three months ago so I feel fatter. There's a lot of elements here is what I'm getting at. I don't know how I got down that path either, but I know I'm kind

of all over the place here. We haven't spoken in a couple of days, so I'm just kind of all over the place in this conversation with you today. So good news is though, it doesn't appear this tick bite caused Lyme disease. So I don't have Lyme disease or the Rocky Mountain spotted flu at this point. I think it's been like a week or so, disease. So I don't have Lyme disease or the Rocky Mountain spotted flu at this point. I think it's been like a week or so, right? So I feel like I'm in the clear there. So no Rocky Mountain spotted flu. My friend who works in medicine thinks

I have some form of anxiety, which I'm sure we all do have some form of anxiety and thinks it might be beneficial to take a medication, but I'm not going to take a medication. He offered me the ideas of how to naturally reduce stress and anxiety. I have taken none of them. I'm drinking way too much diet coke I'm like fucking Trump. I'm like Trump over here like every five seconds I'm cracking a diet coke when I was on the Manjaro. I didn't even drink sodie pop now. I have like 14 diet cokes a day I'm a fucking tank. I'm like John Daly. Basically, I'm like John Daly. I drink a lot of alcohol and drink

diet coke. Difference is I don't bomb at 350 down the middle of the fairway off of a tea that's sticking out of some chick's ass. That's the difference between me and John Daly. Outside of that, we're pretty similar beans, it would seem. And I don't chain smoke. But and I also haven't won the PGA championship. But outside of that, like we're pretty similar beings right so there's that and then I drunk posted about my dog on Sunday and I've confirmed to myself that I will never love another animal as much as I love Luther who by the way

when we relocate we're going to bring his box of ashes with us and not put him in another box he gets to ride in the car we're real