The Josh Innes Show - Fake Service Animals

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

I saw a headline about fake service animals that made me laugh. That said, aren't service animals the best? It's incredible how these animals do what they do. Does anyone have a service cat? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

so i was just going through um i look at websites each morning trying to find some different shit to yak about with you guys and i just saw something in the headline i don't know what the story is but the headline is so fucking good usa today so seemingly quite the credible outlet right although we've discovered that they're not because all of a lot of their headlines are clickbait bullshit but this is spectacular by the way i wish we were in a world where news was more credible i really do like i wish we can go in a time machine and just blindly trust the people we see on the fucking news and not be looking at every story like it's bullshit largely because so many stories are bullshit so i didn't i i just i wish that we could just be blindly naive and just go with hey look dan rather's on tv he's telling me the truth today

like that'd be nice it would actually be nice and comforting it would be nice and comforting to be able to sit there and be like you know what i trust this guy and i'm going to him but now i don't trust anybody and I fucking hate it. That's why we're all fucked up. None of us trust anybody. And if we hear something we don't like, instead of saying, I wonder if that's true, we just automatically assume it's not

and the person telling it's a lie because we don't like what they're saying. But anyway, USA Today, the headline reads, I don't know why this tickled me so much. How fake service dogs hurt real service animals credibility i need to read this story doors are being shut fake service dogs hurt real service animals credibility advocates warn service dogs can be four-legged lifesavers alerting to dangerous allergens assisting with, and making people with a wide range of disabilities safer.

This is very true, by the way. I mean, obviously. But I am impressed and amazed by what service animals can do, particularly service dogs. Like, you don't really ever see, like, a bomb-sniffing cat because cats are pricks that sit around all day judging you, hopping about on Nimbly Bimbly. But you see a dog. Like, you go to the airport. You know what you're going to see in an airport? Fucking dogs putting in work.

That's what you're going to see. You know what you don't see? Cats putting in work. You go to the damn airport. You go to the ball game, if it's a big ball game, and they got the metal detectors, and the guy, you got a cop walking around with a dog that says, don't pet me, I'm fucking working.

He's putting in work. Over in the military, you're overseas, you got dogs sniffing out bombs and shit. You know what a cat's doing? Sitting back at home watching real fucking housewives judging people. Dogs are fucking amazing. And don't you ever forget it. Dogs are wonderful creatures and they put in max effort, even though they're kind of doofuses, but they kind of gump their way into being fucking brilliant but fake service dogs are taking a bite out of real service

dogs credibility exacerbating the challenges that people with disabilities who rely on service animals already face advocates say fake service dogs are poorly trained or untrained animals falsely passed off by individuals trying to access restricted places or benefits. Well, no shit. I would assume that's the case, right? That when you tell me a fake service animal, I'm guessing that someone puts the little service dog thing on their dog and takes their dog into Sephora. Like that's what I'm going to assume is the case here. Or you also get these other people who try to pass off other animals as service animals like people who bring uh you know their parakeet on the plane because it's their their their comfort thing that's where we've gone too fucking like we've gone too fucking far as a

people where we just assume that everyone's got anxiety and we don't want to fight with them so they're like hey look i've got my comfort iguana on the plane and you're like all right fine put the fucking comfort iguana on the plane like at some point buck the fuck up and figure shit out right like you don't need a comfort pet for everything you're flying from newark to fucking philadelphia here it's a 30 minute fucking flight if that deal with it thousands of grocers and shop owners now prohibit any animals including legitimate service dogs, from entering their stores. That's because of incidents where fraudulent service animals have, quote, urinated on expensive furnishings, contaminated food, bitten staff, and driven away paying customers. You know what?

That sucks. But I kind of get it. Anyway, let's play a couple commercials here and let's continue. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition, including prize picks. It's a very simple concept. Hit all your picks and score higher minimum payouts on Pick 6, plus even more cash if you outscore the competition.

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Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash promos. Like, I understand they're in a tough spot. Like, I don't know how you confirm. Like, do you have to, like, roll up to the grocery store and, like, you know what, though?

And I'm laughing at this story because it's the headline made me laugh. But it is true. Like, we always make a joke about, like, wanting to bring our dog into places. And we're like, oh, let's call him a service animal. Ha ha, LOL. But what you get is you get dickheads that take advantage of these situations. This is true. You know this.

There are people that are out there that are just assholes that want to bring their dog places. They want to put their dog on a plane. They want to bring their dog into Costco or whatever the fuck it is. And trust me, when you bring your dog into a store nine out of ten times that dog's gonna pee or try to pee on something now usually you only bring your dog into some pet stores like even stores i'm allowed to bring my dog in like did you know you're allowed to bring your dog into a total wine i guess the store by store basis i think the fuck i'm bringing my dog into total wine where he's gonna jump his ass up there and knock over thousands of dollars worth of liquors and shit the fuck i'm gonna do that no fucking way but apparently you

can do that you can bring your dog into certain like rosh dress for lesses or marshals and shit like i'm not doing that i bring my dog into places where it makes sense to bring the dog so if like if we're going to pet smart my dog likes going to pet smart there's bones and treats and different kinds of shit other dogs and it's nice and you go in there and if he pees on something you don't feel terrible because you feel like that's kind of the expectation of course you never tell anybody you just kind of walk away or if your dog starts peeing you just kind of yank him over and they always pee on the shit that's obviously on the lowest shelves they're peeing on you know whatever dog whatever, dog food, whatever.

And it's not nice. But, like, they have to expect that. There's an anticipation. There's an expectation of a dog peeing or pooping in a PetSmart because it's a fucking pet store. Like, I don't need people bringing their dog into Walmart unless it's a legitimate service animal. Which, as we've discussed, legitimate service animals are wonders of the world. It is amazing what these dogs can do, how a dog can be your eyes if you're blind. Now, I did a show, the show I was doing here in St. Louis with Scott and Coach was the other guy that was on the show for a while. Coach is blind. So we would ask him questions about this and be like, so why don't

you have a service dog? And he's like, listen don't you have a service dog and he's like listen if you have a service dog you have to fully commit and trust that dog to be your eyes and I can't allow myself to do that some people can some people will put their full trust in a dog and that dog will help them walk across the street it'll help them do everything coach just relies on human dog so basically everywhere coach needed to go when we were doing the radio show if coach had to go take a leak like scott would grab his arm or he grabbed scott's arm and they'd walk to the bathroom together or if he needed to go get a drink scott would go get him a drink he became reliant and dependent upon people to be his seeing eye dog if you're going to have a seeing eye dog you have to fully embrace the seeing eye dog and trust the seeing

eye dog and if you don't things will go wrong right but some of these service animals and i get this a random conversation but you can't tell me you're not amazed by what these animals can do you know like the fact that like there are people in wheelchairs that are reliant upon dogs to help them get around and they do it and they behave and they're amazing i think it's also just shocking to me because i've never had dogs that would be that fucking good at that or like comfort animals for people in really shitty situations not like oh my god i'm a nervous flyer can i bring my gerbil not like that type of shit but when there's kids in hospitals or even adults in hospitals and their comfort they're like companions that come visit

you in the hospital and they behave themselves and they just curl up next to you and you pet them and it helps you feel better like that is great and i always make jokes about like hey let's just call our dog a service dog but that's asshole shit that's akin to parking in the handicapped spot when you're not handicapped if you're not handicapped you park in the handicapped spot you're a piece of shit if you put on uh a a service animal lanyard or a tag or a vest or a harness on your dog when you're not really in need of that dog to help you out, you're a dickhead. That's a very simple concept. Thousands of grocers and shop owners now prohibit any animals, including legitimate service dogs, from entering their stores. We did discuss that.

About two-thirds of service dog users say the poorly trained or untrained dogs have negatively impacted their independence and quality of life, according to a 2022 survey. Service dog fraud and poorly trained service dogs pose a widespread and serious problem regardless of location and have a powerful negative impact on legitimate service dog teams canine companions for independence said in a white paper service dogs aren't required to complete a specific national certification according to the department of justice's civil rights division people may also struggle to acquire the animals they can come at significant expense and aren't necessarily covered by insurance so yes people are assholes people are dicks who let's read some of these stats nearly 93 percent of respondents to the canine companion survey said

they had encountered fake questionable or uncontrolled service dogs, while 79% reported uncontrolled dogs snapping at, biting, or interfering with their service dogs. The survey was distributed to 60 organizations accredited by Assistance Dogs International throughout North America, Europe, and Oceania. More than 1,500 service dog users responded, making the study of assistance dog fraud the organization's largest to date. I mean, just don't be dickheads, man. Like, people suck. But that's kind of the world we've created. We've created a world where the squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? Which is a weird thing to say when we're talking about service dogs and they're probably pulling or, you know, helping people in wheelchairs. But the squeaky wheel gets the grease. So we've created a world where people become whiners and people whine enough and they get their way.

Like, leave your fucking dog at home. There's a lot of people who hate the idea of dogs being at restaurants. And to a degree, I get it. Like, I like dog-friendly restaurants and I like bringing my dog to sit out on a patio. We haven't done that. Fun fact, we have not done that with our new dog yet, mostly because it's been winter and cold, but he seems to be a little bit more rambunctious than old Luther was

Luther would be it was the best bar dog love getting pets and they would just sit on couches and shit and chill and have a good time I feel like Ross is gonna lose his fucking mind if he goes to a bar but we're gonna find out but like there are people who hate the idea of dogs at bars and I get that like even if you love dogs you don't necessarily love a dog sitting out on a patio while you're trying to eat and you don't like when there's your dog and then there's another dog and they keep fucking with each other while you're trying to eat I'm the same way like I like bringing my dog places and I want to bring my dog to to restaurants and shit dog friendly places but like i totally get that like it's not for everybody and i wasn't even into dogs until um we got luther like i had friends that had dogs

forever i had no interest in those dogs but you know now you got uh luther and then you got ross and like i enjoy dogs now i love animals and i appreciate them and and i think they're wonderful creatures that are like are brilliant like in a lot of cases right but they're people that don't want to fuck with dogs when they're going out to eat they don't want to deal with it it's the same as it's the same kind of idea smoking like sure you have the right to smoke but most people when they're sitting around eating dinner they don't want to inhale your fucking smoke when you're flying they don't want you to to smoke like it's just one of those kind of things but people are real dickheads you know and people are scammers and we know that people are scammers but that's kind of the way of the world now people are just

scamming dickheads and they're going to take advantage of everything they can take advantage of you know um the worst though the worst is these dipshits that claim like, look, we all have anxiety in some way. And it sucks. Like we make fun of my dad because he's always going to the hospital for a panic attack. Anxiety is fucking terrible. And some people have it worse than other people. And I respect that some people have it worse than other people. It fucking sucks. But stop trying. And I've known people who've done this have been able to pull off the you know bringing your dog on a plane because it's your emotional support pet chill the fuck out bro take a fucking xanax take a fucking uh melatonin take a fucking tylenol pm and conk out on the

fucking plane and wake up later you don't need your goddamn dog you're just trying to take advantage of shit you're a scammer and we are vehemently opposed to scammers but man when i see the shit that dogs can do man like i'll watch youtube videos just about like dogs helping people but nothing makes me more emotional than seeing dogs helping people like how fucking cool is that like how cool is it that someone that's in a wheelchair like on a college campus and use the dog to get around oh the fucking best hold up hold up oh the fucking best is when you see like that like in high school or college when someone has a service animal that the service animal gets a fucking picture in the yearbook give me a fucking break man i will like when i see that a waterworks just

crying my fucking eyes out like oh my god look at sparky sparky's and he's got his own goddamn picture not just a picture with the girl or boy in the wheelchair he gets his own picture and even better is like when there's a graduation and he gets his own cap and gown god that's beautiful god see there's beauty in the world. You just got to find it. We got to get our head out of the fucking internet and just start looking at what's real and what's awesome in the world, man. I know that sounds weird coming from me, the most negative human on the planet, but there is awesome shit out there. The idea that a dog helps somebody throughout high school and then has a picture in the goddamn yearbook. My God, it's the most beautiful thing you can imagine.

There are beautiful things. Watch Love on the Spectrum. Now, you might say, Josh, that's just a show that's exploiting autistic people. I disagree. Watch the love story with David and Abby. David and Abby on Love on the Spectrum on Netflix is a beautiful fucking love story. And it gives you some form of hope. You know, when there isn't a lot of hope out there, you see stories like David and Abby and you're

like, shit, I kind of have some hope. That's just a sweet story. And you look at these people who are in their own kind of little world. They're both on the spectrum. They don't really understand or know the real issues of the world. Like Abby's kind of like a forever 10 year old. That's kind of like her autistic that she has her autism that she has is that where she's just like, you know, she likes dolls and she likes Disney, even though she's in her mid twenties, she'll never kind of fully understand what, you know, being an adult is. And she'll always probably have to live with someone like fine, but she found someone spoiler alert and they love each other. Follow them on the gram, follow David and Abby

on the gram my god it's beautiful you know they like you gotta start like and I'm trying to do this myself find the things in life that are that are beautiful and pretty and awesome be a lot easier to do and I'm not in a constant bad mood about getting fucking turned down and just ignore it outright ignore it for jobs but you know there are things out there that are fucking great dogs helping like service animals helping people is great a service animal getting this picture in the yearbook is fucking great that's an awesome thing you know dogs that are able to like spot that you're about to have a goddamn stroke or something that's something that is awesome.

What I'm telling you is that most great things come from either autistic people or animals. Most beautiful things. Either autistic people or animals. Or autistic animals. I don't know. But that's where a lot of this beauty. Those are the things that I see and I go, that's lovely. I watch Down for Love, which is about people looking for dates and love that have Down syndrome. It's lovely. Yet somehow I also now start getting videos on my Instagram of like thirst

trap down syndrome people, which is really fucking awkward. Cause like they got a gal, she's down, she's got down syndrome, but she's wearing like thongs and shit. And she's like, so does my down syndrome keeping you from wanting to hit this?

I'm like, no, fuck, go away. This is fucking weird. But anyway, uh, all right.

Uh, more to come.