The Josh Innes Show - Freaking Snow

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

A listener send me a message about my neighbors not shoveling their sidewalks. I'd like you all to know that they still don't. I'm officially done being paid by KSHE 95 and I can tell you I am filled with much regret. Mostly, I can't believe I left Tennessee for Missouri. I'm looking at the Missouri unemployment website and it's amazing how low the payout amounts are relative to Texas. Life things. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, I got a message from a listener named Eric on Instagram. And the message from a listener named Eric on Instagram says, Good luck with the Houston job. Did your dipshit neighbors shovel their sidewalks? I loved your rant on the pod. I did leave a message for the Kirkwood mayor about a possible statue for the lone sidewalk shoveler. Well, thank you, Eric. I appreciate that. And yes, it did snow the last

couple of days. Not nearly as bad as the last one. And it was a good little fluffy snow. So it wasn't like something we had to be, you know, like it wasn't like that heavy, nasty snow. And it wasn't 10 inches of snow with my broken ass plastic shovel trying to shovel it. I was able to get out like a patio broom and just kind of sweep it to the side and it was fine. But to your point about shoveling the sidewalk and anybody who's listened to this pod has heard me talk about it, how I don't see any other sidewalk shoveled in this area, period. These people have no concept of the etiquette of how to handle a snow event. They'll shovel their own driveway because, God, you got to get out. You got to get out of my driveway. And I get it. But there's also something about

the greater good. There's something to be said about, hey, if we all get out and shovel our little stretch of sidewalk, then guess what? All of our sidewalks are shoveled. And then guess what? We don't have to trudge through snow if we're trying to walk our dogs or just want to go for a walk on our own. We don't have to trudge through snow if we're trying to walk our dogs or just want to go for a walk on our own. We don't have to trudge through four or five inches of snow because you've already taken care of it. It's one little stretch of sidewalk. That's all it is. It's the length of your yard.

Get out your shovel while you're out there digging your car out. Grab your shovel and just shovel the sidewalk. It's etiquette. You want to know why people in the Northeast are better than you Midwestern jabrons? Because they understand that. That was never an issue. Go to Philadelphia, go to Roxbarrow and Manayunk and all those areas where I lived in Philadelphia. You're not going to see a situation where someone's not going to shovel their sidewalk or shovel out a spot. And you know why? Because people will kick your ass if you don't.

But here in this ritzy little fucking neighborhood of Kirkwood, Missouri, these pricks don't have the fucking sense to say, hey, I'm gonna shovel my sidewalk because if I do and then everybody else does, our sidewalks are all shoveled. All that said, to answer your question about shoveling the sidewalk i didn't shovel my sidewalk this time why did i not shovel the sidewalk because i'm not going to be the

asshole that's out there sweating my dick off to shovel the sidewalk while these other pricks are sitting around doing nothing sitting in their little ivory towers like oh well i'm very rich and fancy in kirkwood miss. I guess the lawn boy couldn't be bothered to shovel our sidewalk. Oh, did you see that one fat dipshit with the beard? Yeah, the one that used to be on K. Yeah, the one that's begging for a job on. Yeah, that one. Look at him. He's out there shoveling the sidewalk like a cuck. Well, I'm not going to be that guy. So I'm done. I'm done with sidewalk shoveling. You people have driven me to the point where I will not shovel the sidewalk because you know what? Generally speaking, you do things because it's understood that it's part of the culture

and that it's a part of the community and people in the community understand that. Well, obviously the people here don't pride themselves on having sidewalks shoveled for everybody else. So if you assholes aren't going to get your asses out and do it, but oh, you have a shovel and you can shovel enough to get your car out and you can shovel your driveway and throw down some salt and all that shit, if you can all do that, but you can't shovel your little stretch of sidewalk

to help everybody else out, then I'm not doing it either. I got shit to do. I I gotta go to Illinois and go gamble on fucking Swedish hockey I got I'm busy I gotta go to the office what I'm not gonna do is sit out here and be the putts like why don't you just put me in a cuck chair at that point I am a cuck if I'm gonna get out there and just shovel my sidewalk while the rest of you sit around pulling your puds, then I'm the dipshit. I'm the asshole. So no, I'm done with that game. I will shovel my own shit.

I will get my shit out. And you guys can trudge through the snow in front of my house like you can trudge through the snow in front of every other lazy cockbag's house. I ain't living that life. Now, good Lord willing, maybe I'll be in a place where it doesn't snow except for once every 20 years pretty soon. That'd be nice. I'm done with snow. I'm done with cold weather. I want you to understand if I move to somewhere that it's always hot, I will be bitching about the hot weather. That's something you have to understand. Like let's say something comes through with this Houston thing that I've applied for,

a job that I'd like to get. Let's say that worked out and I somehow ended up back in Houston. Come July and August, I'll bitch about how hot it is. That's the way it works. I bitch about the weather. But at least when it's hot, you don't have to shovel. And you don't have to worry about other dipshit shoveling. And you don't have to worry about everybody driving poorly because nobody knows how to drive when it rains. Or here in St. Louis, nobody knows how to drive when it's dark. So when you get the early, when it starts getting dark at like 5 o'clock, traffic is terrible. Yet when I would leave the radio station at like, you know, in July, wide open highways. Somehow people are incapable of driving when it rains or snows a little bit or it's dark.

Some places say they have the worst driver. Everybody says, every town you've ever been to says, I have the worst drivers. Our city has the worst drivers. No, our city has the worst drivers. They all do radio bits about it like, boy, how bad are Des Moines drivers, huh? Everyone does. I can speak as someone who's lived in Philadelphia. I've lived in Houston. I've lived in Nashville. I've lived here. These people are the biggest dipshits on the planet and they are the worst drivers ever, ever, ever, ever, especially in my neighborhood where they have no concept of how a four-way stop works. There are times that I'll see three cars go through one stop sign before the next people. Like, what are you doing? You're horrible drivers. And from what I understand, you don't have to take

a written test, I think. Like, they don't make you actually take a written test to get a license. I don't know. Either way, they're dipshits. Let me play a couple commercials. All right, if you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings pick six posterizes the competition, including

prize picks. It's a very simple concept. Hit all your picks and score higher minimum payouts on pick six, plus even more cash if you outscore the competition. Pick six is available in most states, including Missouri, California, Texas, Georgia, and more, and I absolutely love it. Look, every night we're going to be having playoff basketball. Every night. So when you're sitting around and you might not have interest in a particular game, let's say you're a

fan of a particular team, they're not playing that night, here's how you make it a little bit more fun for the other games. Build a little lineup there with Pick 6. It's really great. Me and my wife do it all the time. So make sure you do it. And new players get 50 in pick six credits instantly on just a $5 entry. Download the DraftKings pick six app now and use code Ennis. That's my name, I-N-N-E-S, for new customers to play. $5, get 50 in Pick 6 credits. Better payouts, bigger wins,

only with Pick 6 from DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut. Must be 18 plus.

Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick six not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Voidware prohibited. One per new customer. Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer.

See terms at picksix.draftkings. dot com slash promos speaking of dipshits so i went to the missouri unemployment website just you know because i am eligible for a couple hundred bucks a week in unemployment and i'm gonna ride that out for a couple you know a month or so and see how this houston thing works out and if not i'll figure something else out i feel like a bum like you know how you i i had to do that during the Rona but during the Rona they were just giving out money because you know Biden had to look like he was the shit so like all these guys are like hey here's an extra like four bajillion dollars for everybody and you're like sweet like during the Rona I made out pretty okay people were watching my podcast

people were donating money that way and then I was getting like you know checks that were you know I wasn't rich by any means but like for a lot people, and I'm not saying this to brag or anything, but during the Rona with the podcast doing well, cause we had like a captive audience of people. So the podcast was doing well. I went to work doing the thing over at 97 five where they had, um, where I was just working for endorsements. And there was two things, two businesses that spent a lot of money with that radio station at the time. One was a gambling website and it was called my bookie.ag or something like that. One of these like, you know, foreign ones. And the other was this mask company. And I don't remember what the mask company was called,

but they just spent a fuckload of money on the radio station so for months in a row I would be making like a decent amount of money like a solid amount of cash just for doing these live indoors was shit that I didn't go out and find they were just like here Josh you'll do these and you'll make the money then combine that with like the stupid amounts of unemployment money that kept coming in. Like what were we doing as a world at that point? What were we doing as a country just giving out this fucking money? But like I made out kind of okay during that and then kind of right out of the Rona, I ended up in Nashville. And now yesterday I got my last payment from KC 95. So fuck them. That's over. And then like, this will be the first time

since I don't know, February of 2021, that I'm not collecting a check every two weeks for a job. So that's certainly something like if you think about it, I've been doing, you know, since I was 22 years old, I was getting a full time, you know, radio salary with the exception of a couple of weeks here and there because I got fired or a couple of weeks here or the two years or year, whatever it was, during unemployment during the RONA. But here we are. We've come back around to this point, and I'm on the hunt for a job. But, like, now it's a different world. So why did I bring this up?

Why did I bring up the idea of this unemployment? So Jilly was like, go to the unemployment website and just try to sign up. So I went in and they're like, what's your social security number, blah, blah, blah, and you put in all your info. Well, talk about other things that are dipshit about this state, right? Just completely stupid. Other than the fact that I believe, and I might be wrong on this, I think it's $300 every week.

I think it's $300 every week for unemployment here. I want to say in Houston or in Texas, it's like 500, which once again, Texas kicks ass. And I've always felt kind of ashamed about unemployment, but then I would talk to like my old boss about it. He'd be like, why would you feel ashamed of this? This is what it's there for. And I'm like, okay, I guess. Let me see here. What is unemployment in Texas? Let's see. Unemployment Texas amount. Let's see. Range from a minimum to maximum. The maximum weekly benefit is $577. I would like to know, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. And mind you, mind you, I'm a dipshit that chose to live in Missouri. And I'm sure that there are some advantages that a place like Missouri has over a place like Texas or a place like, uh, Florida,

maybe. But if you're just an average jabron and you're just looking at top to bottom, like what's good and what's bad about places and things that benefit you in your life, why the fuck would you ever move to Missouri? Why would you do that? Like, I'm looking at this. Now, maybe you'll never have to have unemployment, but the maximum weekly unemployment is $577 a week in Texas. It is $300. That is half of that. Half. Just that alone, like the risk that you end up unemployed, fuck it. Go get $600 versus 300. It's dumb. Now, maybe the minimum wage is higher in Missouri than it is in Texas. Probably, maybe, I don't know, could be. So maybe that's an argument for Missouri. But my God, like if you had the choice, you had an option in life, you have options. Like me, I had the option. I could have stayed in Tennessee where there's no state tax.

I was about to make six figures base. My life was going to be pretty good. And what did I do? I said, nope, I'm coming to Missouri. Josh, did you do any research about anything in Missouri before you took the job? No, not really. Josh, did you even bother to even think about the fact that you'd be losing cash with your state income tax that you weren't paying? So at least your take-home pay, like when you compare your take-home pay, your salary and everything in Nashville, wasn't all that bad considering that you were losing X hundreds of dollars a week here or a month or every two weeks in Missouri. Josh, did you bother thinking about that? Nope.

I got blinded by the idea of going to work at the radio station my dad always wanted to work for. And in fairness, they paid me a lot more money. But still, here we are. Here we are. I don't know why anyone, and I don't mean this as an insult to the people of Missouri there are some fine folks here my grandma lived here forever I was born in Missouri a lot of family the family that's still alive a lot of them live in Missouri I don't understand why anybody would make the choice if you have a choice to stay in a Tennessee like I want you to think about how dumb someone has to be to be like I'm gonna leave Nashville and go to St. Louis. Not even just from a job standpoint and a bustling city standpoint, but imagine leaving like, you know, no state income tax. You think about, you got decent people in Tennessee. It's a pretty state. Like there's a lot going for Tennessee. And then you're like, you know what? I'm going

to Missouri. They're like, Oh, what was Kansas unavailable? Like, Nope, I'm going to Missouri. They're like, oh, what, was Kansas unavailable? Like, nope, I'm going to Missouri. That's right, Missouri. I'm going to go live in a city that borders East St. Louis, Illinois, one of the biggest crime-riddled cities in America, but I'm going. I'm going to a place that I had no clue, had no concept, if I had to shovel sidewalks when it snows. But I didn't think of these things now you look back on him you're like well Josh you were certainly a dipshit weren't you and you go yeah

you were a dipshit you made a bad decision you're a dipshit and now you're just waiting to see if these people at the station in Houston will call you and bring you back and by the way I've got Houston people sending me messages hey I hear you bitching about the cold weather there, but it's cold here today too. You can stick that up your ass. Oh, it's cold in Houston today. It is four degrees in St. Louis. My dog walks outside for two seconds and his paws are frozen. Spare me. Spare. Let me see what the temperature is. Let's see how bad the weather is in Houston today. Let's see. Houston. Let's take a look at the weather bug app here. Houston. Like, by the way, today in Kirkwood, Missouri, it's 10 and feels like negative two. Let's see

how 10 and feels like negative two compares to the icy frigid temperatures of Houston. Oh, 29 and feels like 24. There's only a 30 degree difference in the feels like temperatures. Shut it. I don't want to hear your shit. I like temperatures shut it i don't want to hear your shit i love you but i don't want to hear your shit oh boy anyway so that's what's going on in my life luther not luther luther is dead may he rest in power but uh ross is at the daycare today because i'm like i drove him around all day I felt like Uncle Buck yesterday you know that scene in Uncle Buck where he's like gotta get the kids into the car and he did like he takes them to the

track you know he's got like a hot tip on a horse or some shit so he's got the two kids in the back seat and then like he looks in the back seat because he's about to take these kids to the to the track and he's like Jesus Christ what kind of loser am I he has that kind of come to Jesus moment with himself that's how I felt driving my dog around fucking Collinsville, Illinois,

so I could bet on foreign hockey yesterday. He just rode in the backseat. He's like, Dad, what the fuck are we doing? I'm like, listen, Ross, I will take you to Home Depot and let you get a lap in, but we got to get back to the car because this Czechoslovakian hockey game is coming down to the last five minutes, and it's a two-goal deficit, so I have a chance for an empty netter. You got that? Felt like a total degen that day.

That day was yesterday. Anyway, we'll get to some other stuff here momentarily.