The Josh Innes Show - Gambling Heartbreak and Falcons Hate

Episode Date: October 4, 2024

Jilly and I both had some pretty soul crushing losses on Thursday night. I really hate the Falcons. It's not because they are the Saints rival. It's because they have no business being 3-2. Phillies/Mets...New York sports are totally overrated and I'm rooting hard for Philly. Speaking of Philly, they always say "No One Likes Us, We Don't Care". Well, the real embodiment of that is the Astros fans. What the hell has happened to the McFlurry? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right jim oaks welcome in josh and jilly josh and his show it is thursday night thursday night football just ended a couple of heartbreaking non-parlay hits i mean some real ball busters um look i'm tired of the fucking falcons i'm tired of them. I like Kirk Cousins. I really like when he throws for 460 because I took 500 passing yards between the two quarterbacks. Nailed that. Thank you very much. However, they are living on, they're living well is all I'm going to say about the Falcons. They are living very well. They should not have won last week. Like I'll say this about the Saints. Saints shut these motherfuckers down last week saints beat themselves tampa's out here giving up 500 passing yards fucking kirk cousins goddamn saints goddamn coup that asshole missed two field goals today

couldn't miss a 58 yarder against the saints the saints shut these assholes down, gave them two touchdowns, and somehow lost. Shit. First of all, though, I'm going to start with this. I'm going to share with you the true highs and lows, the thrill of thinking that you just won a shitload of money, and then the low of realizing you didn't. So I've started, I don't know, I guess I accidentally stumbled upon this. I saw one of those parlays that some of the people make on like DraftKings or whatever, FanDuel, one of them. And it was like, I saw,

and I never really thought about doing this, but taking the first quarter receiving yards for certain players. Because some of them are just over half a yard. Right? Like 0.5. And I'm like, dude's got to make one catch. And even like the ones that are on the high end are like seven and a half.

All right? So tonight, I built a parlay with four of those. All right? It took four players to have their first quarter receiving yards. Those players. Let me find it here i mean my god it was just ugh all right let me find the actual bet here uh do that was on was that on draft kings no i guess no it was on fan duel all right so on fan dueluel, I will tell you how this went, and it was truly the highs of highs and the lows of lows. All right, so I took Darnell Moody to have over four and a half first quarter receiving yards. He had like 15 on one play.

Done. Mike Evans, over seven and a half receiving yards in the first quarter. First play of the fucking game, he goes for like 15. Done. Cade Otten, the tight end from Tampa, over two and a half receiving yards in the first quarter. First play of the fucking game, he goes for like 15. Done. Cade Otten, the tight end from Tampa, over two and a half, he had like a 10-yard catch or something like that right out of the shoot on the screen. Easy.

I'm sweating. It's the end of the first quarter. It's nearing the end of the first quarter. I need the Falcons to get the ball back because I need Bijan Robinson to have two receiving yards in the first quarter, right? Baker throws an incompletion. I think they punt or kick a field goal. I think they kicked a field goal. It's 10 to 7. Falcons get the ball back with about a minute, 15, minute, 20 to go. Second to last play of the first quarter, B. John Robinson catches a pass.

Remember, he needs two yards. He turns it upfield and gets six. I'm losing my shit because this was a bet that was $56 to win over $800. So I'm losing my shit. I'm fist pumping. I'm running around. I'm like, take that.

Fuck everybody. I'm a god of gambling. So I go inside. I pour myself another vodka crayon. I'm running around. I'm like, take that. Fuck everybody. I'm a god of gambling. So I go inside. I pour myself another vodka crayon. I'm feeling good. I come back out and I see that the play hasn't hit, but it's also not in the open category on FanDuel. So that means it's in the settled. So I'm like, let me go to my settled so I can see it. And then it'll probably pop up this $800 victory. I am a god of gambling. Thank you very much, Bijan Robinson. God is smiling upon me today.

This is a special, special day. But then I look at the parlay and I see checkmark next to Darnell Moody, checkmark next to Mike Evans, check next to Kate Otten, and then a big red X next to Bijan Robinson. I said, what the fuck is this he threw the ball to him so i'm thinking it must be a mistake what happened so i go to the uh i'm

thinking fan duel you fucked up so i then go to espn.com to look at the box score right oh wait oh this is really quick so kurt cousins threw for 509 passing yards today. I needed both quarterbacks to combine for 500, and that was plus 200 bucks with a bonus, so Kirk would have done it on his own. But anyway, so I'm like, something's got to be wrong. Something is broken. I go to multiple websites to look at the statistics,

and they all say it is a run. I'm like, how the fuck is this a run? He, the ball was in the air for like six yards. He didn't pitch it to him. He threw it. It was a screen pass. So I'm like going through Google. I'm like, like, like, like if you throw a ball laterally, is it a pass or is it a run? I've watched football my whole life. I never thought that throwing the ball laterally meant that it was a run. I assumed it was a pass. It turns out a lot of people got fucked by this. I say got fucked by it. We were wrong. We lost, but it still ripped my guts out. And then what even ripped my guts

out even more than I missed that $800 hit by the one and a half receiving yards from Bijan Robinson over half a yard for Kyle Pitts, who he took to have a huge game against the Saints last week. He makes a catch in the first damn drive of the game and easily gets his in the first quarter. So I missed that one, and my heart hurts. And, I mean, it's great that I got the 500 passing yards by one fucking dude.

Why didn't I put fucking Kirk in the 4,000-yard passing parlay? Instead, I put two in there. There was also that one that was like you could pick one quarterback to throw for 500 in one game, and they were all really high value. Kirk would have done it. Also, I, too, got burned by that not being a catch, as it turns out, because I had a parlay that missed by Bijan needing four catches. He ended up with three, but had that one been a catch, then I would have hit as well.

I also missed another parlay by a Bucky Irving touchdown, which was my favorite play of the day. And he was down there. They gave it to him twice inside the two, and he couldn't get it done. And then he fumbled it, and I'll take the blame for that. Well, the fumble was okay because it sent it to overtime, and in theory it gave you a reprieve. Because if he would have picked up a first down there, the game was over, but it went to overtime.

I hate the Falcons. And it's not like a hate, like a rival hate. There's no team that I really hate. I'm in St. Louis. I root for the Cardinals, right? But I don't hate the Cubs. I just don't give a shit about the Cubs. They're mostly obsolete.

Who gives a shit? Or Saints fans who are like, I hate the Falcons. The Falcons are a throwaway organization. They've always been a throwaway organization. So I don't look at it and go, God, as long as anybody wins but the Falcons, I'm fucking happy. I don't give a shit. But when I watch a shitty game like last week when the Saints had no business losing, and I see Tampa, who's probably the best team in the division,

give up 500 fucking passing yards to Kirk Cousins and they lose. We give up zero points to their offense and we lose. It's like, Jesus Christ. My soul was crushed by that 800, though. I mean, I was about to retire. I was like, 800, I i'm gonna put this in stocks i'm gonna take this 800 and i'm going to invest and i'm just gonna no oh no i mean it wouldn't have got me anywhere anyway but still oh now they're talking to kyle pitts on you suck motherfucker

888 receiving yards you had zero catches last week you screwed me last week and now you're out here acting like you're big shit today you know i might i might be putting bijan robinson on the do not bet list he's in the do not bet list eat a dick bijan robinson you're fucking out get off the island you've been voted out you are the weakest link goodbye yeah so my one parlay was plus 13 28 with a boost kate otten check mike evans check bucky irving rushing yards check drake lond. B. John Robinson, over three and a half receptions. He had three. It's a gut punch. And I lost another bet today.

You want to talk about another ball buster? I had a 30% boost on MLB to use on one game tonight. So I took the Brewers to win, and I boosted it. It was like plus 104. I put 50 bucks on it, so it would have won 54 bucks. They're two outs away from winning the damn thing in the ninth and this dingus Pete Alonzo hits a little cheapy home run and then I lose that.

Here's my thing about New York sports teams. I don't hate them because they're in New York. I'm not some like jealous, like, oh, I wish I were a New York person. I don't really care. My issue with New York is anytime a New York team is involved in anything, these media schmucks, many of whom are all New York people, act as though the whole world gives a shit about New York. First of all, you're the Mets. Nobody outside of New York cares about the Mets.

And half of New York doesn't anyway. Oh, not even half. The vast majority of New York doesn't give two shits about the Mets. Hell, most years, Mets fans don't give a shit about the Mets. It's a Yankees town. The Yankees are the biggest brand maybe in all the sports, and then you're the second fiddle team sitting in there.

So, but like, it's like when the Knicks, the Knicks haven't won a championship since the mid-70s, yet Anytime they're in the playoffs, it dominates the talking because most of these dinguses that are in the media are New York dopes who talk about the Knicks. Like there's some bastion of basketball greatness when they haven't won Dick in 50 years. Yet we have to hear about it all the time. And it's the same with the Mets. You were asking me earlier, you go, God, who do you root for the McDougalsougals in philadelphia the mess i hope the phillies fucking sweep these assholes because they robbed me of my money tonight and look i have opened up my heart a bit to the philadelphia mcdougals absence makes the heart grow fonder

and i don't hate these people as much as i used to and i don't hate the city as much as i used to i've moved on to st louis no i hate these fuckers with a passion. And listen, in five years when we're out of here, I'll look back on them fondly too. But at this very moment, I look at the Philly people and I go, I hope you beat the shit out of these guys, even though my whole timeline is just flooded with people going, listen, if you sell your tickets to Mets fans, you're scummy, or I'm worried about the Mets.

My God, just enjoy being in the playoffs. Go have a good time. When I was there, your team lost 100 fucking games. Just enjoy yourself. You could be the Cardinals. You could be the Astros who just lost to a team that has legitimately one starting pitcher. You have three elite level starting pitchers and you couldn't beat Detroit who went out there and threw eight different guys against you in game two. Life could be a lot worse.

Who do you think? I think we're going to get some great fights out of this series, though, because the Phillies and Mets have never played each other in the playoffs, correct? Correct. This is going to be epic, like, world star content. I hope so. It's like world star except with white people. It's like white world star. Exactly.

Phillies and Mets fans, this is going to be is there like an over under on deaths? It's going to be just deadbeat world star. It's not going to be like what we're going to see here. I hope somebody in Philly here's what I envision. And if someone in Philly is listening and wants to do this, I don't need the credit. I just want to see it.

We're getting a grimace pinata, right? Oh, we got to. Someone's going to hang grimace. An effigy. Yeah, something's going to happen. There's going to be grimaces on fire in the parking lot. I need to text Spike right now and be like, I got a bit idea. Yeah, here's a good one.

You need to get a grimace pinata and let all the McDougals come out there and just beat the shit out of it. And inside it, there's hoagies. So when they beat the shit out of it, a bunch of fillies fall out. You get yourself pretzels. Ah, you get yourself some. Oh, and get them from Wawa. Wawa pretzels sound so fucking good.

I don't care what any of you folks say. You can talk about how Wawa pretzels aren't good. They're the softest, chewiest, most amazing because they sit in those bags all day, so they got like a moisture to them. They're the perfectest, chewiest, most amazing because they sit in those bags all day. So they got like a moisture to them. They're the perfect post drinking snack. They're better than the Philly pretzel connection, all that shit. Like the pretzels you buy outside the stadium with the guy in the shopping cart that buys like eight boxes of them to sell them after a Flyers game. Those aren't good. The Wawa pretzels are the best. And what you need to do is fill this Grimace pinata up with fucking Wawa pretzels.

Bam! I'd also like to see Gritty beat the shit out of Grimace. That would be a fun video. There you go. Get Gritty involved. Say, Gritty, we need you to cut. Oh, no, the fanatic. The fanatic.

Yeah, but Gritty's more mischievous. Like, the fanatic's not going to fight anybody. Gritty will beat the shit out of Grimace. Yeah, that's true. It's more his character. He's the enforcer. Like, Gritty's a the shit out of Grimace. Yeah, that's true. That's more his character. He's the enforcer. Gritty's a legit Philly scumbag, and he's proud of it. The fanatic is like a softie.

He just sticks his tongue out at people and uses his sorcery to try to help a guy get a hit. Whereas Gritty is like the kind of guy that would beat the shit out of a guy in an Eli Manning jersey at the train station. Yes, exactly. He's legit Philly scumbaggery at its finest. Ah, shit. So I'm still pissed about the Astros. God, these people, the most insufferable people are the pro-AJ Hinch people that are not in Houston, by the way.

Everybody loves AJ Hinch. I posted just a random, by the way. Everybody loves AJ Hinch. I posted just a random innocuous out of the hundreds of things seemingly I posted during the Astros game yesterday. The one that got traction was, why is AJ Hinch so easy to forgive, yet everybody still hates all the Astros players? And the overwhelming consensus from the people who like AJ but hate the Astros is, well, he served his time and he was apologetic. And on the Astros fan side of things, it's, well, they hate us because they like him because he's no longer in Astros uniform. And I side with them. It's true. Like, these people are losers. The Rangers people rejoicing. Fuck you. Well, everybody rejoicing.

That's like the most random people who I didn't even know watched baseball see on Facebook and they're like, oh, no, the Astros lost. Oh, so sad. Like very sarcastically. I'm like, okay, so I get it. The cheaters lost. But the manager who managed the cheaters won and you're fine with that. And you don't make sense.

No, you don't. And we always make fun of the Philly people for their no one likes us. We don't care. Like literally no one gives a shit about you. no one cares big picture about the eagles no one hates the eagles unless it's like the cowboys or something no one gives a shit when you talk about teams that are legitimately hated a legit no one likes us team unless you live in houston texas or the surrounding areas literally nobody likes the hou Astros because of 2017-2018 they have every right we I say we because by god I lived 10 years in Houston I had season tickets

for three years I am Houston baby yes I also am a Cardinals fan look I'm a vagabond I move around a lot of places I feel a connection to a lot of people but deep down my real connections in Texas and I root for the Astros and I root for the Texas I have a connection to a lot of people, but deep down, my real connections in Texas, and I root for the Astros, and I root for the Texas, I have a connection. Louisiana and Houston, those are my two biggest connections. And by God, I have a connection to Philly as well, God damn it. But what I'm going to tell you is this. No one likes us. We don't care, except a lot of people care. Actually, I'll say this about the Astros people. The Astros people far more embrace the idea of people hating them and then just saying, fuck you to the people who hate you.

Like they don't ask people to like them. Whereas in Philly, Philly acts like they, like they, first of all, there's a multi-tiered element to this. The first tier is they act like people dislike them when nobody gives a shit about them. Then they act like they don't care that people dislike them when they don't actually dislike them but they've convinced themselves they dislike them because they think their teams are more valuable than they actually are so then they say no one likes us we don't care but then dot dot dot why don't you like us could you try to like us a little bit more that's philly i'll say this about the houston people the houston people will fucking fight you on the internet.

They'll do a bunch of shit. I don't think they legitimately care. They embrace the fact that they're the villain. They like the fact that they're a villain. If you said, Josh, pick which one. No one likes us. We don't care. Who's the true embodiment of that? Is it Philly or Houston? It is 100%. Not all Houston sports, by the way. Houston baseball. The Astros fan base, which again, like eight years ago didn't exist, but the Astros fan base does not give a fuck that people don't like them as it relates to the cheating and the banging of the trash cans and the fucking beepers and the shirts. They don't care. They will fight you over it, but they don't care. They like to swing their dicks

and be proud of their two world series and their four appearances and that's great. Whereas Philly people, they deep down, they're like Howard Stern. Howard Stern spent his whole life talking about how he didn't care who hated him and he had this ragtag group of C and D level celebrities that would come on his show,

like Grandpa Al Lewis from the Munsters and Corey Feldman, and it was him versus everybody. But deep down, he just wanted to be part of that establishment of people that scoffed at him. And now he's part of that establishment and he's an insufferable cock bag. That's kind of the Philly people. The Philly people act like they like being scumbags about shit but deep down they're like we want you to like us they're desperate to have people like and respect them and i don't think the astros people feel that way so kudos to the astros people even though that was a dreadful series and you lost to aj hinch the putts who couldn't stop the cheating and

hopefully they get their dicks knocked off did you see see that about Taysom Hill? What, is he out? He's got broken ribs. Jesus, for the love of Christ. He may not go on IR. And you know who else kind of got fucked up ribs is Alvin. Alvin played hurt that entire damn game. The dude just wants a new contract. And the Saints are like, honestly, we don't know at this point.

We don't know what we are. I hope Dennis Allen gets whacked at some point in the season. We talked about this the other day but speaking of the saints like davante adams has a weird shallow howl thing going on with derrick carr college buddies i get that that's fine but like everybody else looks at derrick carr everybody in the world other than Devontae Adams and the dipshit saints that paid him, you know, a hundred million, but everybody looks at Derek Carr and they go, God, it's Derek Carr. But Devontae Adams is like, how you doing? He like, he sees like Tom Brady when he looks at Derek Carr, like no one else. Derek Carr's wife doesn't look at Derek Carr the way Devontae Adams looks at Derek Carr. That being said, he's still going to go to the Jets.

Probably, yes. Well, really, he may go nowhere. They may not trade him. Who knows? I mean, they probably will. But probably. They should punish him and just trade him to Carolina. Say, that's what you get.

I don't know if he's got a no trade. I don't even know how no trades work in the NFL. But he should be like, listen, you want to get traded? Good. We just worked on an awesome deal. And you're going to be playing with the Panthers now so uh hashtag blessed so there you go god I saw um I might go see this uh this movie tomorrow this uh this movie where Matt Walsh who I guess one of these right wing guys like I don't know a ton about him I heard him a little bit on Rogan the other day um he does one of these kind of boratty type movies where like he kind of infiltrates all

these i say infiltrates it makes it seem like he was you know sneaking into these places but he's a um but he kind of goes in and just kind of tries to explore the weird world of this woke kind of left-wing culture uh i think it's called am i racist which at least we don't have to go to the window and ask for tickets anymore because that'd be awkward now you can just order on your phone but if this were you know 20 years ago and you have to walk up to the window and there's some 18 year old kid working the window and you're like hey um i need two for what was that i need two for a i said am i racist it's kind of like when like when you'd go sneak around trying to find the erotic films behind the curtain at the video store and you'd feel awkward doing it.

Or like when Michael Keaton and Mr. Mom had to get the maxi pads. Like, Irv, I need a price check on the maxi pads. That's all right, Irv. We got it here. It'd be really awkward to do that. Like, am I racist? I don't know. Are you whitey? I think I'm awkward to do that like um i need to am i racist i don't know are you whitey

i think i'm gonna see that mostly just because i think it would piss off our friend demir because there's no way our friend demir thinks this movie's good even though it's got 75 fresh on rotten tomatoes which i don't trust because most movies i see that have great reviews on rotten tomatoes are awful and i and i always go back to that damn lady super bad movie with Jonah Hill's fucking sister in it and I'm watching this movie and I'm just waiting for it to be funny and the only remotely funny shit was in the trailer and it was a boring coming of age girl movie about periods and lesbianism and unfunny shit so I had no interest in it so I don't trust Rotten Tomatoes which I think they've actually proven that Rotten Tomatoes is a scam

I think I've heard that somewhere they've proven that like basically the whole thing is a scam like everything on the internet it's a scam well this Joker 2 movie is getting pretty awful reviews well Demir said that too I was messaging with him and he was like yeah it's not as you know it's not great listen I'm gonna like it out of

spite the same way that I liked the remake of Death Wish out of spite the same way that i liked uh the the remake of death wish out of spite because the whole world said it sucked and i'm like you know what i'm on death wish's side even though one that good but i'm going to side with it just cuz and it's got lady gaga and she's gonna probably sing shallow with the joker and that's gonna be awesome i maybe i've set myself up for disappointment when she doesn't sing shallow with a joke. Very long. So we'll see. Well,

how long is very long? It's like two hours and 20 minutes. And what the other one, two hours too. I mean, they were all long. That one moves. Apparently this one does not.

Well, let me see what the, the, the old rotten Tom said on the, let's see. Rotten tomatoes. Uh, to show me Joe.

Oh God. 39%. People said it's really bad. know what i'm gonna like it out of spite because i hate the critics i think critics are the worst critics and audiences like everybody hates it well this woman who's a some sort of reviewer named winley ma says todd phillips has never managed to write a plausible female character why start now yeah these are all pretty bad reviews this guy gave it a three out of five which i guess is considered fresh from the

financial times who were movie critics anymore by the way like back in my day you know who the movie critics were it'd be like siskel and ebert and owen gleiberman from entertainment weekly and shit like that who the fuck is Aaron Neuwirth from We Live Entertainment or I'm trying to see if I David Pollan from Hot Button or Pablo Velasca from Cinema Esina like who are these people ah shit but you know what I'm gonna go see it anyway we've got our tickets we're going Tuesday it's gonna be lit then the Saturday Night Live movie the next Tuesday and tomorrow by myself, am I racist? At 11 in the morning over at the movie theater,

I will no doubt be the only person in the theater for that. Are you going to refrain this time from buying the giant soda and popcorn? Yes, I'll get smaller ones. Ah, I'm glad you brought up snacks. Snackaroos. Because I might get myself some M&M's to mix into some popcorn. But speaking of M&M's, so after we had our din-dins, we had some steaks that I made on the old grill. They were fine. They were nice. But I was like, I want some ice cream. I said, well,

you know, the game's about to start, so let's go right down the road to McDonald's and get ourselves some ice cream there. And I said, do they still have McFlurries? And Jilly said, yes, but I think they only have Oreo. So I looked online online it said they had the M&M's so I ordered an M&M McFlurry so Jilly gets a an Oreo I get an M&M I haven't had an M&M McFlurry in forever real talk I'm not the biggest McFlurry guy like if I had to look at the hierarchy of chain places and their their you know candies mixed into ice cream creations the The Blizzard is obviously number one. The Sonic Blast used to be the tits, but the ice cream at Sonic sucks for some reason now, so it's no longer the tits. Then the early days McFlurry was pretty good. So I ordered this. They hand me a box like

it was a cuisine of the Orient. It was like a Chinese food box of soft serve ice cream. And on top of this vanilla soft serve ice cream was just a shit ton of little mini M&Ms. They were not mixed into it. You got an Oriental cuisine box of Oreos on top of ice cream not mixed in. And I'm like, first of all, what the fuck's up with this box? Second of all, why is it not mixed in and i'm like first of all what the fuck's up with this box second of all why is it not mixed in there if it's not mixed in it's not a mcflurry there's no there's no flurry it's just candy on top of ice cream well they can't do it anymore because they had to get rid of the plastic spoons and the plastic spoons are how they attached it to the machine that blended the mcflurry well why the hell do they have to get rid of the spoons?

To make it more sustainable and environmentally, like, I think like in California, this has been the case for a while. Oh, fuck California. Multiple states don't allow that spoon anymore. And so that's why they can't blend it. Listen, everybody's liberal and environmentally sound until they start screwing with our utensils that makes it easier more difficult to eat or enjoy our food everybody's super liberal until the straw starts to fucking fall apart in your coffee because it's made of paper i hate the paper straws and now apparently you can't have mcflurries blended in certain states we used to be a decent country this country used to be a lovely

place now it's not now you can't even make a mcflurry because you can't have the spoon required to make the mcflurry and while we're at it bring back the mcsalad shaker you monsters remember the mcsalad shaker i remember it i never got it oh i did because it basically wasn't healthy at all you get the caesar right and it being like a cup and it had a lid that was closed on top, you know, and you would pour the Caesar dressing in there with the croutons and the chicken and shit, and you'd shake that shit up like it was a shake weight,

and it was an exquisite treat. The McSalad Shaker, bring it back. Also, bring back the premium grilled chicken sandwich that was on the honey wheat roll. That was lit. Do better, McDonald's. Do better. McSalad Shakers, let's go. Bring back the premium grilled chicken sandwich that was on the honey wheat roll. That was lit. Do better, McDonald's. Do better.

McSalad Shakers, let's go. That being said, you can really save a lot of cash on their app. It is a great app. Like two or three days this week, I've just gone to McDonald's and gotten their little $5 combo, which you can get like a hot and spicy McChicken, four nuggets, a small fry, and a small drink for five bucks. But then instead of getting the nuggets, I just get two hot and spicy McChickens. But like there's always some sort of special deal. Whereas like Burger King, I got theirs today and like theirs is not nearly as good. They try, but it's not nearly as good. McDonald's, elite app action. Great discounts on the app, like free fries, sody pops, treats, the whole shebang. So if you're looking for an app for a fast food restaurant that really gives you the goods,

McDonald's is a solid play there. So I would urge you, I would implore all of you to get the McDonald's app. That is an unpaid advertisement for the McDonald's app, but it is an elite level app. Fucking McFlurry. The world's a screwed up place. Someone posted a retweet of this video from Bruce Springsteen, who as most of you know, I do not like musically, and he would not like me lifely. So it's fine. We would be conflicting people. He's another guy who's built a whole career on looking like he's a blue collar guy. But then you look at his writer for his shows and he's like, I need a giraffe.

Like the guy is not human. Okay. He's a typical like liberal celebrity type who's, you know, selling tickets for billions of dollars. Like I just dislike him. Not because he's liberal. i just dislike him not because he's liberal i just dislike him because he seems like a pompous asshole and he's like guys uh this this is one of the things these celebrities must have all got their talking points about the

election because it's like this is like the most consequential election of our lifetimes and basically the fate of democracy is on top of everything and this is the end of the world if i lose and blah blah blah and they all want you to go out and vote although you know if you vote for who they're not voting for then they'll think you're a scumbag but one of the things that bruce springsteen in this video says as he shockingly said he's going to vote for you know kamala and tim walls which upset of the century by the way like i don't need know that you needed to announce that the world knows how you feel but he goes um you know our country is more divided than ever and this needs to change motherfucker your people constantly call people nazis and fucking scumbags

and everything else and you're like why are we so divided i don't know because you call everybody fucking nazi like i'm not saying the other people are any better than you, but stop acting like you're sanctimonious, holier than thou, better than everybody people when you wonder why things are divided because anybody who doesn't vote for who you like is a piece of shit. You're all frauds. Look at your fucking ringleader Howard Stern who says, I hate people who vote for Trump because they're stupid. Then you're like, oh oh why are we so divided

maybe that's why dick face stick to waddling around in your tight pants and grunting you schmuck anyway you had a look on your face about would you see a video of some sort did you see the thing like when Kirk Cousins was talking about the swag surfing in the dome

no he was like yeah you know we were a little backed up TV time out they were playing the song about the swag and the surf and everything he's like yeah you know we were a little backed up tv time out they were playing the song about the swag and the surf and everything he's like it was cool so i guess they played it tonight and now kirk has learned the swag surfing and i've never seen a man look happier i've never seen a man look whiter uh he is certainly kirk obangs throws for five hundo and he swag serves so what's funny is you've been getting text messages from uh my brother-in-law brian who he and my sister i have turned into degenerate gamblers which look i'm not proud of it i'm not proud of what i do but apparently like now my sister and her husband are DGN

gamblers now. That's just their thing, whatever. So he built parlay for tonight's game. And for the entirety of this game, it looked like he was going to get his first victory. He hasn't had a parlay hit yet. What was his parlay? He had over three and a half receptions for Darnell Mooney. That hit. He had a Darnell Mooney anytime touchdown score. That hit. And I mean, this was like still in the third quarter, I think. So this was looking really good. And then he had the Bucs plus two and a half, which for the entirety of this game looked like it was a slam dunk. And then they've got the ball back after the interception. He's got to think he's got the game won because worst-case scenario. Here's the absolute worst thing that could happen at plus 2.5.

Minute 47 to go. The Falcons go for it. They throw a pick. The Falcons have three timeouts left. If you pick up a first down, you're guaranteed to hit your thing because the game's over. If they kick a field goal it's a six point game

the Bucs are up six. So even if the Falcons go down and score and kick an extra point they win by one. You still hit. But there was a holding penalty that happened that moved them out of field goal range.

They throw a screen pass that goes nowhere. They're forced to punt. So when they're forced to punt, a field goal ties the game. And then you're in a stuck spot because really the only way you're going to win the bet at that point is if Tampa gets the ball and scores a touchdown. So Falcons get the ball. You're hoping to hold them to a field goal. Well, I guess I take that back. They could have kicked a field goal. You could have come back and either scored a touchdown and kicked

a field goal. Who knows? But your chance to win it was there late. Then there was the Bichon fumble. The Bichon fumble was a murder. Oh, sorry. Bucky fumble was a killer for you in that one as well. Obviously, it didn't burn you at the time. But, fuck, there was a bunch of elements to that that were tough. He had bet $10 to win $137.50.

And at this time, they were offering the cash out of $53.87. Which is five times your investment, but you still don't do that. You're riding this out, baby. We're not riding out for a $50 win. Oh, no. We're going big or we're going home. And he went home. Have you heard from him since then?

At one point he just says, I'm going to throw up. I think that's when overtime started. Oh, friend. You're experiencing it. Brian, it's an experience. It's the highs and the lows. I mean, I told you, I almost won 800 bucks today. It was a damn near special day for your boy.

Eight hundo. And especially when I thought i hit it had i not thought that i had actually hit it it wouldn't have hurt as bad but then i actually thought i hit it and celebrated as if i had hit it and then i didn't hit it and that friends was a kick in the dick have we spoken with people since we finished heels i don't know that i've mentioned that we finished heels great show watch it on netflix i think i mean i hope they do another season but it was great though i look it's the josh ennis netflix club watch heels amazing program you'll enjoy it very much especially if you like wrestling. So even if

you don't like wrestling, I think it's a good show. So make sure you guys check that out as well. All right. Anyway, tomorrow, I say this is Thursday, so it could be today, later today, Friday. We got to get our prop bets in. I tried to do prop to your drop today, but a lot of the props weren't up yet. So we'll get those for you tomorrow as well. Big weekend. Hey, the Cougs play tomorrow against TCU. TCU throws for like 400 yards a game, taking the over for that kid from TCU. And Oregon plays. There's like four games on Friday night for college,

so a good college football night. All right, we'll see you guys later.