The Josh Innes Show - Hottest MLB Mascots

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

BetUS has ranked the MLB mascots based on hotness. They have a certain criteria for determining this ranking. Well, I'm going to break this down. Let's look at some sexy mascots. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From commutes that become learning sessions to dishwashing filled with laughs, podcasts can help you make the most out of your everyday. And when it comes to everyday spending, you can count on the PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard to help you earn the most PC optimum points everywhere you shop. The PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard, the card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit pcfinancial.ca for details. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard.

When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. So the website, BetUS, has an entire series about the best-looking people and figures in Major League Baseball. So like broadcasters, players, and apparently mascots as well. We know all the players on the field tend to be lookers, but what about the real MVPs

behind the scenes? They're calling the shots and keeping the game alive, and that's hot. We're searching for the most crush-worthy contender behind Major League Baseball with a list of over 800 mascots, managers, umpires, and Oh, I see. So this list isn't about the players. Like they have got lists dedicated to broadcasters, managers, mascots, and umpires, and they've determined who out of those make the MLB happen is the most crush-worthy. Attraction isn't just about looks. It's about personality, confidence, and presence, just like in the MLB.

Using the scouting style approach, we measured key factors, personality traits, the golden ratio, which measures facial proportions and symmetry, job title, search value, and social following to see what really makes someone stand out. This is interesting. I don't know why I'm so intrigued by this. Top behind the scenes MVP's with the best looks in MLB. We picked the most crush-worthy contenders in behind the scenes MLB roles, highlighting their charm, looks, and qualities that turn heads and leave

us blushing. If they were in a pack of baseball cards, they'd be the rare finds and you'd want to collect them all. So, okay, so this includes mascots. Okay, so this isn't just the list of mascots. This is the list and it contains broadcasters, umpires, managers, and mascots for the best-looking behind- behind the scenes people, not players, behind the scenes people. Let's look at this list after these commercials. Alright, let's see. Number one on this list with a total score of 85.1 out of 100 is Baxter. Baxter is a mascot and Baxter is the mascot for the Diamondbacks. I mean look he's pretty, I don't even know what kind of critter that

is. Is he some sort of like a bobcat or some sort of mountain lion or some sort of jungle cat? I'm not sure, but he is ranked number one. And that his score is 85.1. Number two, okay. Oh, I see. Oh, hold on. My bad. Okay. I've been doing this backwards. Got it. So there's different categories. That makes sense. It wouldn't make a whole lot of sense if it were like combining mascots, broadcasters and everything. So this is the top mascots, I believe is what we're looking at here. So Baxter is the number one rated mascot. The number one rated manager, the best looking

MLB manager is Dave Roberts. So if you feel like horning out over somebody, now I couldn't tell you what most Major League Baseball managers look like now. Like I could tell you like what the Cardinals manager looks like and I could tell you like I know what AJ Hinch looks like. He looks like a guy that was too much of a poon to stop the cheating scandal and that should lower his score. But Dave Roberts is number one on that list. Okay, so can you show me like the actual list, please? Which MLB mascot brings the looks factor to the field? Baxter, the mascot of the Arizona Diamond Bags, is as cute as he is sexy. His origin story is just as charming.

Created after Brantley Bell, son of former second baseman J. Bell, suggested the team should have a Bobcat mascot inspired by their home, Bank One Ballpark, which was called The Bob, or Bob at the time. Baxter is not only a crowd favorite with his ESFP personality, but he also has 23,000 followers on Instagram. His looks are as hot as his personality, donning red, one of the world's most attractive colors. Beyond Baxter, the Philly Fanatic and Clark the Cub are turning heads with their irresistible charm. So the Fanatic's number two. The Fanatic

is number two among best looking mascots. And that's the thing about the Fanatic, that the Fanatic does well. Like if you look at Baxter here, Baxter's kind of shredded and he's in good shape and like he's a really sharp looking guy, right? Like he looks like kind of a badass. He's got a backwards hat So he kind of looks like Bobcat Fred Durst and he's got a baseball jersey on but like he looks like he'd fuck you up Like he doesn't look like a like he doesn't look like the nice funny guy Like he looks like like he's like James Spader in pretty in pink Like he's kind of the asshole guy that the chick's in love with, but you're like you

shouldn't be in love with him. You should be in love with the other guy and the guy she should be in love with is the Philly fucking fanatic. Like the fanatic has a lot to offer. He's got a great personality. Like I feel like it like if you were some chick and you're hooking up with Baxter, Baxter feels like you're lucky to be fucking him and that's not what you want. Like if you're some chick and you're getting plowed like Baxter's giving it to you

raw style and he's like, ah Bobcat, raw, and he's giving it to you with his backwards hat, like he's just thinking about the next chick he's gonna pound because he feels like you're lucky to be fucking him. That's not what you want. You want someone who's gonna give you, like I guarantee you Baxter will never perform cunnilingus on a woman. Never. Baxter the Bobcat will never perform oral sex on a lady. Why? Because he doesn't feel he has to because he's too good-looking. Mascots are not supposed to be good-looking. Baxter looks like a badass. Like he'd fuck some shit up. Like he's like a real dickhead. Like he will not do the things that a woman needs. Like

he will not let her get hers before he gets his. Like he's the kind of guy that like will last like two seconds and then slap the chick on the ass and tell her good job. And then she's like, well, what about me? This isn't fair. And he's like, I don't give a shit. I'm off to the next one because I'm a rolling stone, baby. Baxter was a rolling stone and wherever he laid his backwards hat was his home. But he's number one. The Philly Fanatic is number two on this list. See the Fanatic, the Fanatic's an interesting case

because the Fanatic clearly has like some level of self-esteem and self-worth, right? Like he's a guy that like he's funny, but he's not the kind of funny that's obnoxious. Like we talk about Jason Kelsey. Jason Kelsey is obnoxious funny because Jason Kelsey is like fart in the classroom funny. Or you know who else is fart in the classroom funny? Is Shaq. Shaq is the absolute worst because Shaq is not funny. I was watching Inside the NBA the other night and they got a present for one of these gals that works on the show because the show is about to leave TNT and they got this gal like some very fancy bag. I forgot what kind of bag it was. Coach. I

don't know what the fuck it was. But part of the thing she does is always brings them water. So at one point Shaq goes, she brings me that high quality H2O, which is a water boy line. You say it once, no one acknowledges it, it's a throwaway thing. It's the kind of line that you do it and like three people watch it and they go, I appreciate that, thanks. But nobody busted out laughing. So then he said it again. But that's some high quality H2O, she brings that high quality H2O. Then no one acknowledged it, so he starts naming people that he wants to acknowledge that he made a reference to fucking water boy. He goes, hey, hey, hey Chuck, that's high quality H2O, huh? Chuck, hey Chuck. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ dude, you try too

hard. The worst kind of funny person is the person who tries too hard. I don't feel like the fanatic is like that. I feel like the fanatic is just kind of naturally funny and kind of has what he does. Like he has his shtick and he's got a shtick and he doesn't have to try too hard. He's got like old school appeal to him. He's been around the block so he knows what's up and that's what he does. So like he does his little things where he tries to like get into the head of the pitcher or like when he does that pelvic thrust, that's fucking hyster hysterical like every mascot that pelvic thrust from like like forever stole that from the fanatic see that's the key the fanatic in reality is much like a lot of like the

the current mascots with like a giant stomach and like he pops the stomach out and shit. He started that. He's the OG. All mascots bow down to this guy, right? So like, like you'd be honored, like it would be your honor to fuck this guy. If you were a lady and like the Philly Fanatic decided to offer his, his Galapagos Island penis to you, you'd be like, holy shit, like he's not the best looking and he's the older guy, but it's a great story, right? Like you've got a phenomenal story. If you like it'd be like fucking like, I don't know. Try to think of someone of like that's like still like Jack Nicholson. It's like like is Jack Nicholson

the best he's ever looked now? No. You know, is Jack Nicholson at like the top of the zeitgeist now? No. But it's fucking Jack Nicholson and if someone was like, hey you should fuck Jack Nicholson if nothing else for the story, you're like sure I'm gonna fuck Jack Nicholson for the story. Like you fuck the fanatic for the story because he's legendary. It's a legendary fuck. No one even, like I couldn't have told you if you gave me a million guesses on guessing what the name and mascot was for the Arizona Diamondbacks I would add no fucking clue because he's a younger better looking guy, but I know the legends

I know legends and you have an opportunity to bang a legend you bang a legend He's like an og he's legendary and you fuck him if you can and like I do feel like With that weird little tongue thing that shoots out of his weird nose He would perform Cunnilingus and he would do it well. Like I think he's got an ability to do that. So I would, the fanatic should be number one. Who else is on this? And Clark the Cub. Clark the Cub is a child. We don't fuck, although there was that famous video where somebody on the news in Chicago posted the picture of the new Cub's mascot, Clark the Cub, and they put and they posted the one on television of the one with the fake that with the

dick on it. God, that was spectacular. Let's see the Philly Fanatic ranks as the second hottest mascot in the MLB with a fun and energetic personality and over 200,000 Instagram followers. Let's see hailing from Chicago, Clark the Cub. Can you guys show me just the full on list of this? Like I'd like to see a full on list. Then they have a list of like the hottest like sideline reporters and shit like that. I just want to see the hottest MLB mascots. Just show me the full list please. Oh, here we go. Here's

the full list of mascots. So Baxter is number one, Clark the Cub. Who is Rosie Red? See, I couldn't tell you what any of these mascots look like. Clark the Cubs. Who is Rosie Redd? See, I couldn't tell you what any of these mascots look like, so now I have to look up Rosie Redd, who I'm guessing is the Cincinnati Reds mascot. Like, I've seen a dude with like, don't the Reds have a dude with a like a baseball head? Isn't he one of the mascots? Let's see. Oh, Rosie Redd. There is. There's like, they're all baseball head people.

So the entire the entire Red Legs mascot crew, which appears to be three, one of which I think might be a bobble head. Okay, so there's dude. I'm not going to lie to you. Rosie Red's a piece of ass. She's kind of she's got like almost a uniform on that looks like the All American Girls Baseball League. So it's like a skirt and a belt. She looks like Marla Hooch walking around in

this outfit, but hotter than Marla Hooch. She's like Dottie fucking Henson, man. Look at her. Dude, Rosie Red is hot. Oh God, and she's got bright red lipstick on. As Taylor would say, that red lip classic thing that you like, she's got bright red lipstick on. As Taylor would say, that red lip classic thing that you like. She's got it. Dark hair, bright red lips. Is this a story about the lady that's in the costume? Are you hot too? Don't ruin the illusion. This is from 2019, so it's maybe someone different. This chick wasn't bad looking either. Did you create the mascot or are you in the costume? Either way, you'd feel like you're, she's got kind of a wacky face, like the

expression on her face is kind of weird, but I feel like she'd be spectacular at working her way around your hog. Like she's got a quality about her, and she's got like an old-school kind of like, like, like haircut. I like her. You know what, Rosie Red Mascot, you are hot, and I your skirt and I like you and I choose to believe. Now I don't know what the family dynamics are here because there's an old Reds guy with like a pillbox hat and like a giant mustache. I don't know if he's like your husband or if he is like your dad. I'm gonna say he's your husband, but I'm not sure. And then there's just another guy. There's also a possibility that this is a strange relationship where there's two dudes and a chick

and they share this chick. They're open. I don't know. Is there a third? Is there a fourth red mascot? Jesus Christ, they have more mascots than division titles. Who's this guy? Boy, this guy looks real fucked up. He's like a weird hairy gentleman or person or thing. Who are you? Oh, that's Gapper. So I guess they decided we also need a mascot that's warm and fuzzy. Gapper likes Reds winds summer skyline chili and fishing and he dislikes anything having to do with the St. Louis Cardinals and his favorite song is put me in coach by John Fogerty

okay so okay here we go there's mr. red legs mr. red legs is three Louisville slugger bats stacked high he's 200 pounds he likes the big red machine moustaches grand slams and shutouts And he dislikes showering after Gapper. His favorite song is Take Me Out to the Ballgame. But it doesn't say if he's kin to the other ones. Then there's Mr. Red. Are you related to these people? Then there's Rosie Red. There's a lot about Rosie Red. Her favorite song is ABC by the Jackson Five. I was hoping it was going to be like Pop That Pussy or something like that.

Let's see, she went to cheer college for high energy and entertainment routines. She's one hundred and one pounds of fun. All right. She might be a spinner. But that doesn't say if they're related, like, I don't know. It's upsetting to me that I don't know are these just three random people with baseball heads? Do they come from like a baseball head universe? I really don't know or like are they kin or they're like the coneheads where everyone else

around them is kind of like not a conehead and then they're just like three randos with baseball heads and everybody notices they have baseball heads, but like it's not really a huge thing to them like I don't know. But anyway, Rosie Red was number four Mrs. Met now Mrs. Met you would have to think that Mrs. Met is obviously Mr. Met's wife like everybody knows Mr. Met now is Mrs. Met is she hotter than Rosie Red see see here's the thing Rosie Red

is hotter because Rosie Red wears a skirt. Mrs. Met like wears a whole baseball uniform. She's giving off lesbian vibes. Oh, wait, but she's got a ponytail. That's a cute ponytail. I still think she's a lesbian. And I think that Mr. Met is kind of a front for her lesbianism. And I'm not judging her for that. I'm just saying that I think Mrs. Met is a lesbian. And I think that Mr. Met is her beard. And look, you're not as hot as Rosie Red. Although, if you look at this chick from behind in the baseball

pants, she's kind of stacked. Anywho, moving on to number six, Billy the Marlin. Fuck Billy the Marlin. Raymond. So the Tampa Bay Rays have a mascot named Raymond. I get the play on words with Ray. I just enjoy the fact that Raymond, a very basic name. I like that. That's a good name. Orbit. Orbit's adorable, but Orbit is a non-fuckable entity unless you have some sort of fetish. Orbit's got a childlike quality about him that's very weird. I don't think that anybody's out there like, you know who I want to fuck? Orbit. So I disagree with Orbit being hot. Orbit is like a weird like he's like Buddy the elf. Like Buddy the elf although

Deschanel banged him in the movie. Like Buddy the elf is a non fuckable entity because he's too much like a child. It's almost like you're committing a crime. You don't fuck Orbit. So committing a crime. You don't fuck Orbit. So, Oriol Bird. What a name for a mascot. Hey, it's me, Oriol Bird. He's at number 10. Blooper from the Atlanta Braves. That dude can do some shit with his nose. If you've ever seen Blooper from the Atlanta Braves, a lady can be pleasured to the nth degree with that nose on Blooper. Fred Bird from the Cardinals is number 12. Fred Bird's weird because you never actually see him at the game. Like most places have mascots that you always see. I never see Fred Bird actually walking around. He's also not a very hot entity.

Let's see, but that's what this ranking is the sexiest MLB mascots. Paws, who's the Detroit Tigers. Let's see what Paws is. Paws a lady or I'm guessing that's a man? Paws mascot. Mascot. Detroit Tigers. Let's see what Paws, all capital letters looks like. What do you look like Paws? You know what? Look he's like he's got the face of an older tiger so I feel like, he's got the face of an older tiger. So I feel like he'd be, he'd appreciate the opportunity to bang you. And I think he'd be a considerate lover. Like I think pause of the Detroit Tigers, like genuinely is glad to have you in his life

because like his wife died. And he's like, look, you're younger than me and I'm just thrilled that you want to fuck me. So like if you need money to go to the shopping mall for any reason, then like I'll take you to the shopping mall. And if you don't even want me to go, I won't. But if you need someone to carry your bags, I will. And I'm really fortunate that you're down to fuck. So I will go down on you for several hours. Like that's what Paws the mascot from the Detroit Tigers looks like.

Slider from the Cleveland Guardians. He should be disregarded because there's no such thing as the Cleveland Guardians. I want to see Chief Wahoo. See, that's where racism is coming by eliminating Chief Wahoo. You've taken away arguably the sexiest mascot of them all. Chief Wahoo would fuck good. And then Rangers captain is the Texas Ranger. I will look at this guy. I will look at Rangers captain I'm gonna look that up, and it's gonna show me like fucking

Like Marc Messier or something. Let's see Rangers captain mascot. Let's see what he looks like or is it a lady? Oh, it's the horse Well We know he's hung so I think that's kind of what makes him hot to people is he's got a giant hog, so perhaps that would turn on a lot of ladies. Hell, some ladies actually fuck horses or donkeys, so it's not even completely out of the realm of possibility. Anyway, more to come.