The Josh Innes Show - I Feel Like Ross Is Officially Our Dog

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

I saw a story about things you can do with dog fur. First off, my dog sheds a lot more than I was led to believe. But, after our harrowing experience last weekend, I don't really care. This is going to sound odd, but up until last weekend, I wasn't really feeling like Ross was our dog. Last weekend was a bonding experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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kicker. Like he'll kick in his sleep and like when he tries to sleep with us, we can't just get him to sleep at the foot of the bed like he'll curl up on Jilly's pillow and then like kick in the middle of the night. So weird, weird fella. I like him, but most of his shedding at least that I see or at least that I thought was most of his shedding was at night in the bed microfiber sheets. If anybody has any sort of sheet recommendations that don't attract as much dog hair, please was at night in the bed, microfiber sheets. If anybody has any sort of sheet recommendations

that don't attract as much dog hair, please let me know. But every morning I get up with this little chomchomrollerpethairgone.com and get my ass to work every morning. I'm up here getting all this for and it is tons of hair. Lots and lots and lots of hair. I don't know why I sound like Trump. He's got lots of hair. I tell you what, he's got amazing amounts of hair. But I bring this up today because I see a headline for a story and the headline for the story reads, unusual ways to get rid of dog fur. I'm intrigued by this because I had a revelation about Ross's dog hair the other day. So, I saw a, well, first of all, let me play a couple commercials and we'll get into this. The NBA Finals are finally here and

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One per new customer. Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable. Pick 6 bonus picks that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. offer terms at pick six dot draft kings dot com slash promos. So I saw a few little instruments or one instrument I saw a video for an instrument like an ad on twitter like a targeted ad on twitter for this kind of scraper that you can use for carpet that basically acts as a rake for picking up dog hair. And mind you the entire time that we've had Ross, which is now like

what seven months or however long it's been that we've had Ross, I've never really noticed a ton of hair except on the bed at nighttime. It never occurred to me that there might be a shit ton of hair on this rug that we have because I can't see it. I just I don't see the hair therefore in my mind. It's not there therefore It's not an issue, but every now and then like we'll start seeing balls of hair like against a wall or something And we'll go pick it up, but I bought this little instrument. That's like a rake for dog hair for carpets I forgot what the damn thing is called. I bought it on Amazon.

Let me look on the Amazon account really quick and see what this fucking thing was called. Because it was like I just ordered it because I'm like I wonder if there's a bunch of hair on this that I can't see if it just kind of blends in. So let's see I purchased a thing. Hell I don't even know when this would have been that's all the way back in April. What the hell is this thing called that I ordered? There it is. The Rundik, R-U-N-D-I-K carpet rake for pet hair. And I'm like, I'm sure there's a

little bit of hair on the carpet. So I'll do that because I've been dealing with allergies and like, you know, like my eyes will water because I'm probably partially allergic to this dog. But like, not enough to where it's killing me I'll do I'll take some flown A's or whatever shoot it up my nose and be good to go. But I bought this because I was just kind of curious about you know how much hair was there. So I put the little rake together and I just start kind of raking the

carpet here in the living room and this rug that I have in the living room. And it's just picking up mountains. I'm talking mountains, seven months worth of hair that I didn't even know this dog was shedding that was just stuck to this carpet so I'm raking it and raking it and raking it and when I tell you that there was enough hair to form like seven or eight Pomeranians just from this carpet, I'm like what the hell am I breathing, right? So then I start doing it on some of the other carpets in the house, some of the other rugs, and I'm getting mountains and mountains of hair. I'm starting to find mountains and mountains of hair everywhere. I did not realize this dog shed this much because when we adopted this dog the website said he does not shed much. Perhaps they didn't have him in the

summertime when I guess he just sheds like a motherfucker and that's what he's been doing. So now I'm intrigued by unusual ways to get rid of dog fur. Like I'm raking this stuff up. So let me see what they advise to do this. I'm curious. Alternative uses for dog fur. What the fuck other uses could there be for dog fur? Like, help me out. Like, I guess I'll find out. But it's dog fur. What else am I going to do with dog fur? Regular brushing helps your pet's coat stay soft and untangled, and also the easiest way to get rid of excess fur well no shit there's a reason it's called furniture right? Waka waka. Next time you find yourself with a mound of shedded fur give it to the birds as they can use it for building a nest. I'm not

gonna go outside and be like hey birds I've got all this dog fur for you. Go ahead and build a nest. You can put tufts of discarded fur in bushes on a fence in a cage or in a bag so it's easy for the birds to find and take. You know what? I'm not gonna do that. You can use pet fur in different ways in your garden. So this is shit that I'm never gonna do. In some cases, the scent of a dog is enough to make animals like rabbits hesitant to visit your garden and snack on your plants. Well, maybe that's not a bad idea because this dog is obsessed with rabbits and

chipmunks and squirrels. Like my dad met the dog today and he's a very sweet dog. But man, he was going like when he starts running and getting really like crazy, he can bulldoze your ass over. And he does this when it comes to going after like little tiny like what do you call I guess they're chipmunks like Alvin like a little like Theodore's fat ass right. They got those and like he can get nuts. Putting loose fur at the base of your plants can protect against smaller critters like

slugs and fur can be buried to provide extra nutrients in the soil and surrounding plants. Neato! If your pup is fond of ripping open toys and removing the stuffing, use some of their fur to restuff the toy. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Like, I don't... that's stupid. But anyway, so that's what I deal with as it relates to the dog is he sheds a lot and I didn't realize he sheds a lot because you can't see it. Let me tell you, I felt like I was dying some days. Like I couldn't breathe with some of the pet, like and I assumed it was just the dander. I'm not going to get rid of the dog.

Like what a dick move that would be if I'm like, hey, sometimes my eyes water a little bit because of the dog dander in the air. I'm going to bring him back. I'm committed to the dog. And let me tell you something. I feel like I've grown a little bit more committed to this dog since he got bitten by that asshole dog next door. So although that dog doesn't live next door, the neighbor guy brings him over, his friend over, and his friend brings his mean-ass dog that never ate Luther but has bitten Ross. If

you were looking for an update, Ross' paw's feeling better it seems. He's walking around on it. We're taking long walks again. So that's good. But after that harrowing experience, I felt that me and Ross have kind of formed a new bond, right? Like it's weird when you get a new dog, particularly after you've had one dog for a long time and that's the only dog you had. Like there was a part of me that's kind of like, I don't know, like I don't even it's not that I dislike this dog. It's that I don't feel

like he's my dog. Like Luther, I felt like was my dog. So if somebody like fucked with Luther, I'd be like, listen here, you son of a bitch, that's my dog. If they say, oh, this guy is like, I remember when we first moved to Philadelphia and we took Luther to a dog daycare once and we go to pick him up he was doing like a trial run at one of these dog daycares and they said that he was kind of I don't know if he was snippy or whatever it was but they put him in like a timeout so they basically took him out of the general play area mind you this dog has been a good dog

forever he's gone to day cares he's been fine but they threw him basically into like a closet and then it's it's this is time out because your dog's a little too wild. I remember we picked him up and Jilly was fucking furious and she's like we're never going back to this dump again we're never taking our dog back to this place where they throw him in time out for doing dog things, right? Like we get defensive. Like if somebody would do something towards our dog, we get super defensive. And I hadn't really gotten that way with Ross, mostly because Ross is kind of a wild guy. He's kind of an excitable dog. He gets kind of excited on walks and

sometimes he'll lunge. Like the other day, we were going for a walk and I never see him jump at anybody. It's not like he's going to hurt anybody when he does it, but we're walking by this older guy and like Ross kind of jumps up and to kind of play with this guy as we walk by him and I've never seen him do this before and this old guy was pissed about it and his wife was like, oh, can we pet your dog? And the guy goes, no, we're not petting that dog. And at that moment, I was kind of offended because I'm like, yeah, I get where you don't know the dog. So it can be kind of annoying if he jumps up at you. But on the other hand,

fuck you. This is a good dog. He means well. He doesn't hurt anybody. He likes to wrestle and have fun. He loves other dogs. He's harmless. He's a sweetheart. Fuck you. You know, that's kind of how I felt. But I still didn't really feel like that deep connection to him, right? But this harrowing experience of this jag off neighbor German shepherd biting my dog through the fence and hearing the poor little guy yelp, let me tell you, this yelp was so terrible. Hearing him yelp when he got

bit, when I tell you that it was just like heart wrenching, it was sad and I felt terrible about it, right? So when we, you know, I pick him up, Jilly wants to fight the guy next door over it and she's like go show him his paw and I'm like, here's his paw, it's bitten. And then we go to the ER, the pet ER, very nice pet ER and as he's sitting there shaking and scared, I'm trying to hold him and calm him down. I'm like, we're having a come together moment. This is our like, you

know, when you watch the movie about like the racist white guys and the black guys on the football team and they have a moment where they all come together and learn to tolerate each other. This was like our moment. Ross getting bitten on the paw by this shithead German shepherd visiting the house next door. That was our come together moment. That was the moment where the two of us look at each other and said, you know what? We're in this shit together. And I'm like, I

don't care about the fact that you shed all the time and have to get my ass up every morning and spend 30 minutes getting all your nasty hair off the bed. And I don't care that you kick me in my sleep. And I don't care me that you're kind of a pain on the ass and the ass on the walks. I don't care because we're in this shit together. We are bad boys for life. So I feel like this was kind of our moment. I feel like this is kind of that moment in time when we look at each other and say, you know what? You're my dog now. You're Ross. You're not just, you know,

the dog replacing Luther who we miss, Rest in Power King. We'll never forget about you. We love you. You're the best dog that's ever walked the face of the earth but this is that moment that we came together and we said you know what we love each other because I'm not gonna let anything happen to you because you're a good boy and I know you're a good boy and the fact that that fucking dog I want to punch that dog right in the dick for doing that to my dog it's a shame god damn it but I think that was kind of our come together moment and I can kind of tolerate all the bullshit and I can tolerate the hair and I can tolerate the fact that sometimes he plays

kind of hard and kicks me in the balls. Like I can tolerate all that and I can tolerate all that because I know that he's a good boy. And I would, I'd run through a wall for this guy. Now if anybody talks shit about him, I'll be like, fuck you. This is my dog and he's a good boy. More to come.