The Josh Innes Show - I Hate The Bears and The Broncos

Episode Date: December 22, 2025

The Bears have some sort of magic. Perhaps they have the Pope vibes. I don't know, but the luck will eventually run out. I'm counting down the days until Sean Payton loses in the playoffs. It will bring me much joy. Can anyone in the AFC win it all? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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All right, so let's take a look at what happened in the actual games over the weekend because, well, the lions have just completely destroyed me and my bet's dead. You know, there are two teams that can go fuck themselves. The lions can go fuck themselves and the Tampa Bucks can go fuck themselves. All I needed was two more wins from the Bucks. I need two wins from the Bucks and I need the Lions to win one more game and I would hit a parlay that would win like 600 bucks. But this should have been coasting.

Why should this have been coasting? It should have been coasting because the Bucks started six and two and just needed to get to nine wins. So if they started at six and two and just needed to get to nine wins, that would indicate that all I would need them to do in their last nine games of the year was go three and six. All they had to do was win three of their last nine games. And I would basically hit the Parlake. I still think the Lions are going to win one of their last two because why not? They'll win one of them because they'll do it just to piss me off because they've missed out on the playoffs. I've hit everything in my season parlay for the Lions with the exception of the Lions making the playoffs.

And they will not make the playoffs unless a miracle happens. And I don't even want to root for them to have a miracle because they suck and they're garbage to watch and I don't want to. Like I don't want to root for them to get in because they don't deserve to be in because they stink. Let me play a couple commercials and let's get into some stuff here. Canada can be a global leader in reducing the harm caused by smoking, but it requires actionable steps. Now is the time to modernize Canadian laws so that adult smokers have information and access to better alternatives.

By doing so, we can create lasting change. If you don't smoke, don't start. If you smoke, quit. If you don't quit, change. Visit unsmoke.ca. All right, so as it stands now, like, can I tell you, there's a couple of takes that I've made this year that I'm super embarrassed by, and I'm, like, I'm disgusted with myself. First of all, let us not forget that Tampa was six and two after beating the Saints earlier this year. Since then, they have lost six of seven.

And in some of those games, they were blown out by Buffalo, blown out by the Rams. Now, a couple of those games were very close against bad teams like New Orleans and Atlanta and Arizona, New England they were close against. I needed two more wins. It's all I needed. Two more wins from them. Now they have to win their last two games to get me to those nine wins. Disgusting.

Now, fortunately, they're playing Miami, and Miami's really super terrible. You saw what they did with Quinn Ewers. They should be able to win that game. and then I think the last game of the year would be for everything against Carolina I think although I guess Carolina controls their own destiny at this point right the most Carolina can win is 10 but then if you beat them you're 9 and 7

or they're 9 and 8 you're 9 and 8 I don't know who would have the advantage in that one I honestly don't know and I don't care just win the last two games Tampa you puds a couple of things that stood out from this weekend too I also hate the bears the bear's The bears are not good. You will not convince me the bears are good. There's nothing the bears can do to make me think they're good.

They are a farce. They're winning a lot of close games. They're just like the Broncos. They're winning a lot of close games. Those things will all even themselves out at some point. So the bears and the buccaneers are teams I hate for different reasons. I despise them and I despise the Broncos. But let's look at the bears who are 11 and 4.

Look at the way the bears have won these games. You go, let's see, here recently, starting with that win they got against if you want to go to the Eagles four weeks ago or whatever but you know it's go even further back they escape with a win over Cincinnati they beat the shitty giants by four

they beat the shitty Vikings by two they beat the shitty Steelers by three they beat the Eagles by nine they lost to the shitty Packers they beat Cleveland and blew them out they beat the Packers in overtime that Packers game was so despicable this weekend like you're not going to convince me

that a team that with two minutes to go had a 1% chance of winning is a great football team that did some great thing. They got lucky. They got super lucky and a bunch of shit that needed to happen, happen, and good for them. I'm convinced that they have the Pope. They have Pope powers. You've got the Chicago Pope,

and now you're winning these kind of games that you have no business winning, these kind of games that you've lost forever. The Bears will bottom out in the playoffs, just like the Broncos will bottom out in the playoffs. because the kind of games they are winning, they are not sustainable. Having to come back and rally like they did early in the year against the Raiders who stink, against Washington who stinks,

against the Saints who stink, against Pittsburgh who stinks, against the Vikings who stink, against the Giants who stink, against Cincinnati who stinks. I don't believe in the Bears. And they will lose, and they will lose in their first playoff game. So good for them by finding some sort of miraculous way to win this. Like I'm looking at this, can the Bears make a Super Bowl? No, Rex Ryan.

The Bears cannot make a Super Bowl run because the Bears are escaping. They are living on borrowed freaking time. The Bears are not a legit, viable Super Bowl team. They are not. You can tell me they are and you can try to sell me on it. You can try to convince me otherwise. They are not viable. That game against Green Bay should be the indicator that they are not viable.

They had a 1% chance of winning that game with two minutes to go. Then you have to recover an onside kick, which, oh, by the way, that's like an 8% chance to recover an onside kick. It never happens. And then they do it. Then they tie it on a fourth down. Then they score on a miraculous play in overtime. They're not good. And you can fight me on it all you want.

The bears are not good. They've benefited from a shit schedule. They haven't really beaten anybody with a pulse. Who on their schedule with a pulse have they beaten? I'm still waiting. The Eagles? Great. The Eagles can't score 16 points.

They scored 16 points against the lions who've given up 500 yards in each of the last two games and let the Steelers run for 250 yards on them. So congrats. You beat the Eagles. That's your big win. Other than that, you've beaten nobody of consequence. I get you play who's on your schedule, but you have beaten nobody of consequence. I don't know why the bears have drawn my eye to the point.

they have, but they have. I despise them. So the bears are going to bottom out in the postseason. I think the pats are legit. Let's just go down the list of these teams. Let's go look at the playoffs after this week. Now obviously you've got the 49ers and the Colts. Colts can be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble if they don't win tonight.

I don't think they will because as much as I want fat Phil to sling it, I don't know that he's getting better week one to week two. Things may actually get worse week one to week two because now teams have an idea that he's slow as shit and know how to stop him. I mean, hell, he stops himself. He's slow as shit. Again, looking at the teams. Who can win the Super Bowl?

Denver, no. Patriots, probably not. Jacksonville, no. Steelers, no. Chargers, no. Texans, I think, maybe I'm being a homer here, if their offense figures it out,

but what did they do this week against the shitty Raiders as a 14-point favorite? They puttered along and the offense looked like shit. They looked like the old Texans' offense from earlier in the, I honestly actually no the Texans cannot win the Super Bowl and the Texans cannot win the Super Bowl because the Texans offense cannot be trusted so if they can score two defensive scores and hold teams to three points then maybe they can I don't trust them offensively shit I don't know who the hell can honest to God I don't know who can win the Super Bowl maybe they all can

because they're all mediocre although I don't think New England's mediocre although their schedules junk and you look at their strength of schedules it's dreadful I mean it's shocking that the two teams atop the AFC right now have two of the worst strength of schedules you're ever going to see. And there's strength of victory, nothing burgers. So maybe the Texans can win it. And I guess you give Buffalo some chance

because they're still Buffalo and there's still Josh Allen and maybe like he's, if Josh Allen's ever going to win it, it's got to be this year, right? Because there ain't nobody. But I don't buy Jacksonville. And I can't wait. I tell you, same.

It's the Bears and the Broncos. I cannot wait to watch Sean Payton do what Sean Payton does. I will have a gigantic erection watching Sean Payton gag away an early playoff game. It will bring me so much joy and it's going to happen. We all know it's going to happen because that's what Sean P. does. He gets you all excited. You get into the postseason. Look out.

We're playing at home. And then you're a favorite against somebody and you lose to Kirk fucking cousins. It's going to happen. I don't know who it's going to be. They're going to face. someone's beating them in their first playoff game at home, whether they get the buy or not that's still up for grabs. Currently, they have the tiebreaker over New England,

so we'll see two games to go. These games are extremely important for Denver and New England, so we'll see. Jacksonville still has an outside shot of getting the buy as well. And then I guess technically the bills can sort of slide in there. Technically the chargers can still sort of slide in there. I guess in a technical sense, the Texans might still be alive for a buy.

The AFC's nuts. And the NFC, I don't buy Seattle. I look at the two top teams in the NFC, the Bears and Seahawks. I don't think the Eagles are particularly good. Their defense is fine. Their offense is not. But I think the Eagles, if you gave me Bears or Seahawks versus the Eagles, as mediocre and as bad as the Eagles' offense has been,

I would take the Eagles to beat both of them. The Panthers don't even fucking waste my time. I think the Rams are the best team in the NFL. I still believe they're the best team in the NFL. The 49ers now have a playoff spot locked up because the lion shit the bed yesterday. The only hope, the Packers ain't beaten anybody. What's the latest on Jordan Love?

Is his brain still scrambled? Is he going to play this weekend? Do they know if he's going to play this weekend? What's the latest on Jordan Love? Give me some deets on this cat. Jordan Love. What's his brain status right now? Status up in the air.

status up in the air for week 17. Let's see, one hour ago. Let's see. Let's see this past weekend. That's a big question. Who do the Packers move forward with a quarterback going into week 17 against the Ravens? Joy and Love, blah, blah. The Packers have a situation where Love is still in protocol.

Malik Willis has a banged up shoulder. Now, the good part is I don't expect them to sign a quarterback, which tells you at least one of these guys should be able to go on Saturday. So we'll see. That's the other thing about the Bears. give me the one thing we didn't include in our ripping of the bears is congrats you sucked for the entire game against the backup quarterback of uh of green bay and you got lucky congrats you rule ugh i despise them i despise them very much so just looking around the league like so i mean

basically what it comes down to now in the nfc is either the packers or the lions are going to get in. And what has to happen is the Lions have to win their last two and the Packers have to lose their last two. And the only chance the Packers have of losing their final two games is if they don't have a quarterback, which is possible, I guess, at this point. Because even with a quarterback, they've lost to Denver and Chicago. Baltimore season's going to be on the line in their game and they may not have Lamar. What's the latest on Lamar? Boy, late in the season, we're getting treated to some real quality quarterback play, some random Jamoke playing quarterback for the dead Kansas City Chiefs, Lamar being hurt, he's day-to-day, Jordan love hurt, so many dudes hurt.

Ugh. Anywho, boy, I hate the Bears. I hate the Bears and I hate the Broncos. I hate the Broncos more than the Bears only because I hate Sean Peyton and I want Sean Peyton. I need to see his demise. I am a number one fan because none of my teams are going to be in other than the Texans who I'm going to root for.

But whoever, my favorite team is whoever faces Sean. John Payton and the Bears. Thank you.