The Josh Innes Show - I Hate The Chiefs

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

We just watched the Chiefs pull off another BS win. I really hate them. We are pretty hammered after a day of drinking, betting and watching football. Admittedly, I don't know what the hell we talked ...about. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:12 Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. Oh, God fucking damn it, do I hate the Chiefs so fucking much. God, somebody give these motherfuckers their comeuppance. They're not good. They're not good. They're not good. They suck.
Starting point is 00:01:29 They keep winning one-score games. If any other team in the world won all these one-score games, we'd say, oh, they suck. But the Chiefs were like, oh, my God, the Chiefs are so fucking good. We just watched the end of the Chiefs game where this third-string kicker hits the upright, and it somehow still goes in. My God. Only the Chiefs can doink a fucking kick and it still goes in. That is truly only the Chiefs.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Like anybody else, anybody else, this is not fucking bouncing. What a horrible. Oh, fuck the chiefs what a horrible fourth quarter that was minimal on possessions which means i couldn't get my fucking 500 passing yards god damn i hate the chief i hate them i hate andy reed's fat fucking ass and i hate fucking patrick mahomes and i hate travis kelsey who didn't get his receiving yards tom is like there's no doubt they're the luckiest team in the league. I mean, these losses are, I mean, these wins are stupid.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Like that had no business bouncing in. But somehow they're going to win the Super Bowl. Probably, yes. God, I hate them so much. God, I hate them so much. They're the fucking absolute worst. God damn it. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:02:44 God damn it. God damn it. damn it god damn it oh they're just oh they're so unlikable i heard somebody the other day like oh they're such a likable team no they're not my homes ain't likable fucking all the kelseys are douchebags by the way congrats to fucking i i guess that fucking uh jason kelsey struggled not having all the attention on him for 11 minutes because this asshole puts on the mummer's costume and drives around in the fucking Eagles helmet and crashes it in fucking Philly the other day. Like, what are we doing? My God, does somebody beat these fucking guys?
Starting point is 00:03:19 And it's like, who'd they lose to? The Bills, right? Yeah. Great. In the postseason, they'll whoop their ass. Oh, God, they're going to beat the shit out of the Bills. God, the Bills who lost today, right? So the Bills are now their second loss.
Starting point is 00:03:31 But, like, you just know it. When the playoffs come around, the Chiefs are going to beat the goddamn Bills. That's why when people judge me, they're like, oh, you say the Chiefs are a Super Bowl contender? Of course they are. Because, like, there's nobody else in the AFC that's going to beat them because they're the luckiest sacks of fucking shit. They're going to get the first round by.
Starting point is 00:03:47 I mean, they've all but clinched that. Oh, yeah, it's over. It's over. No, I guess not. Well, I guess now with that loss for the Bills, certainly, because the Bills have lost twice, right? Three times, I think. They have three losses?
Starting point is 00:04:00 I think the Bills may have three losses. Well, that loss today hurt them, and the Chiefs only have one. If there's a God, somebody will beat the shit out of the Chiefs. I mean, there was a God today. God kept the – look, I'm not a religious person. I want to be very clear. But God kept Alabama out of this college football playoff because they shouldn't be rewarded for losing to Vanderbilt and Oklahoma.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Yeah, both the Bills and Steelers are 10-3. Oh, I hate the Bills. I hate them all. And the Chiefs are now 12-1. Oh, fuck the Chiefs. Fuck Andy Reid's fat ass. And, of course, we have the Texans at 8-5. Well, we're fucked anyway.
Starting point is 00:04:34 We ain't winning shit. Listen, the Texans are about to lose three games in a row. Sign on up for it. The Texans are about to lose three in a row, and it's going to start with the Dolphins. Oh, the 8-8 at that point? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:47 They may win one of those. Look, I'm hammered, so I'm not hammered, but I'm getting there. So I don't hate that. I want to be clear. I don't hate the Texans, and I think they're okay, but they're not going to do shit. I mean, they're donezo. But they may beat the Chiefs. They may beat the Ravens.
Starting point is 00:05:04 They may beat the Dolph they may beat the Ravens they meet the debate it may beat the Dolphins I don't know but like at the end of the day who gives a fuck they ain't doing shit in the playoffs I mean they they're just they ain't it who's staying it so what a shit I mean just shit was DeAndre Hopkins get eight more receiving yards for a parlay yeah and he had it yeah he did he had it he did and he dropped it oh that pass from brock osweiler he would have caught it back when i was a boy uh growing up i rooted for the chiefs when i was younger because i i was born in missouri and the the football cardinals left st louis and my dad was a chiefs fan and you know so we rooted for the chiefs and the chiefs are the kind of team that never won fucking games like this they always find ways to lose they get
Starting point is 00:05:48 a bye in the playoffs they'd go like 13 and 3 they'd have a home playoff game and they'd lose like 9 to 7 to the Dolphins at Arrowhead Stadium now all these cocksuckers do is win these types of fucking games and I hate them so much I just want them to go away I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them so much and I hate the Chiefs fans and I hate all these stupid vignettes they do we're like hey here's Paul Rudd did you know Paul Rudd's from Kansas City and he's a diehard Chiefs fan did you know that the chick from SNL is a diehard Chiefs fan? Did you know that the chick from SNL is a diehard Chiefs fan? Did you know that the guy from the soccer show on Apple, what's that fucking show called? Fucking Ted Lasso.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Did you know Ted Lasso's from fucking Kansas City? I don't give a fuck. God damn it. God damn it. I hate the Chiefs so fucking much. I hate them. Somebody needs to take them out. Take them out.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Well, they play the Browns next week. Listen, I've accepted that no one's taking them out during the regular season. They're going to get a bye. Then they play the Texans. The Texans are fucking assholes. Then they play the Steelers on Christmas. It doesn't matter. They're going to have the bye.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Somebody in the playoffs has to take these sons of bitches out. Please take them out. I hate them. I hate them so much. Make them go away. You could get a Josh Allen prayer candle. I am. Root for Josh Allen.
Starting point is 00:07:23 But I don't want to root for him either because he sucks too. I mean, he's pretty good. I don't like Josh Allen. Fuck him too. I like Josh Allen. I don't like Josh Allen. He's not the MVP of the league. You know who is?
Starting point is 00:07:34 Saquon Barkley for that shitty Eagles team that when they get to the playoffs, they have a limp dick quarterback that can't throw. And their limp dick quarterback is not going to win anything for them. But Saquon Barkley should be the MVP. Can we talk about, about like what do you think the Eagles will look like if they didn't get Saquon in the offseason dog shit mostly dog shit because like look bro you can tell me whatever the
Starting point is 00:07:54 fuck you want about the Eagles and you can tell me all about oh here's fucking Jalen fucking Jalen hurts blows blows I think AJ Brown is starting to get kind of pissed at him. Of course he is. If you saw that post-game interview, like, well, what's the problem with the offense? Passing. Yeah, the reason they can't get it to you because the quarterback's a limp-noodled fuck.
Starting point is 00:08:15 And here's the problem. A.J. Brown isn't what you would call a team player. A.J. is going to get mad if he doesn't get his. Of course, and that's what we said when he went there. We watched it when we were in fucking Nashville. The guy, just like most wide receivers, he's a fucking mental case. But like, gee, oh, geez. Also, Josh Allen had three touchdown passes and three rushing touchdowns today.
Starting point is 00:08:35 That's pretty good. Super. I'll throw a parade. I get it. They lost. Good for them. I'm glad. I'm glad.
Starting point is 00:08:41 I'm rooting for the Rams to win the whole fucking thing. Go Rams. Boy, Matthew Stafford, though, that was my big bet big bet we always talk about this like me putting finally like $20 on something yeah I put $20 on Matthew Stafford's passing yards and he hit good for you I'm proud of you you did it fucking Chiefs I fucking hate you I hate you and I hate your fucking shitty fans and I hate the fact but I was a kid and I used to root for you sons of bitches you'd lose every big playoff game ever oh Marty Schottenheimer is going to play Elvis Gerbach instead of Rich Gannon all this shit and now you guys want to have all these miracle fucking missed field goals and shit fuck you fuck Andy Reid fuck Pat Mahomes fuck his wife despite the fact she voted for
Starting point is 00:09:22 Trump so I kind of like her because she's better than Taylor but other than that fuck her don't fuck the mom good for her she seems like a good time fuck them all though god I hate the Chiefs so much I hate you so much that doink was a miss oh absolutely if that were like the Bears that would have hit the upright 11 times and been a miss if that were anybody else if that were the bills in the playoffs against the chiefs that would have gone dink donk donk donk donk like fucking pong bong bong bong bong and would have missed but because the goddamn chiefs fuck them in the end i got a whole list of fuck yous fuck them as i mentioned earlier fuck both the kelseys thank you for not getting your yards you peckerwood but although you did get your fucking yards in the first quarter like like I bet on, so thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:07 But fuck that. And I want to... That was obvious. I mean, it was Taylor's last night ever for the Arras Tour. You think his mind was in this football game? No, his mind was how he's going to start fucking hot-ass black chicks again. Because he's tired of fucking this fucking light-as-a-feather, flat-as-a-board motherfucking Taylor Swift. He wants to get him some thick-ass
Starting point is 00:10:25 bitches again. God damn it. Do you think they even fuck, though? I do. Do you think Taylor's like, I saved myself for marriage? Oh, no. She doesn't do that kind of shit. Do you think that Jake Gyllenhaal, major movie star, would be dating this chick if he wasn't hitting it?
Starting point is 00:10:41 Isn't that why John Mayer broke up with her? But that was a long time ago. She was much younger with John Mayer. And her body is clearly not a wonderland. It's not. Body is a wonderland. Say what you need to say. It's a monumental night for his girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Of course he wasn't focused on this shit. God, I hate them so much. I hate them. And here's the problem. Now from here on out she's got no tour she's probably gonna be there every game yeah well that means i'm taking the overs for trav i guess but what a day of football let's do this let's uh let's play a few commercials and we'll talk about football that isn't the goddamn cocksucking chiefs winning again. God, I'm so sick of them. Just go away.
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Starting point is 00:13:26 Fun day of NFL, though. Hit a lot of plays. Missed some. Hit a lot. Good times. We had a good night last night with Oregon. Oh, dude, Oregon's a fun team to bet. And, you know, the college football playoffs coming up. Thank the good Lord that Alabama didn't get in.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I like that the Alabama people are like, we need to start scheduling a softer schedule, I guess, because we can't get in. I'm like, you're out of conference schedule. Doesn't matter, dickhead. You lost three times in the conference to Vanderbilt and fucking Oklahoma, you goddamn inbred hillbillies. Go fuck yourselves, Alabama. And Nick Saban's gone, and now you're just a bunch of dipshits again.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Good for you, you dummies. But anyway, football-wise today, though, the NFL, I should say, we had quite the time with the NFL today. Some decent games. The Bills game was fun, although it ended in a two-point game. It wasn't like, oh, boy, this was an amazing back-and-forth game. They were down by 17 at one point in that game, so it wasn't like, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:14:24 But a lot of passing yards, a lot of fun in that one what i tell you is about aaron rogers what about him well on the podcast last night i said aaron rogers is gonna have himself a game two tuds and he threw for like 330 he had the two teds in 330 and lost huh yeah but i i nailed that one you did do that you did good are you guys gonna watch the aaron rogers documentary i guess we will like aaron rogers seems like the kind of asshole that would go to one of those like filipino doc like go to the philippines like anahuaca what's it called no you try anahuaca yeah yeah okay but that's different i'm talking about going to the philippines like those doctors those weird voodoo doctors that claim they can pull
Starting point is 00:15:05 cancer out of you but really they're just reaching into a bowl of like liquid like blood shit and grabbing a shrimp and then like acting like they're pulling cancer out of your body. Like that's the kind of like dumb shit that Aaron Rodgers seems like he would believe in. Like a total dipshit. Totally but I want to watch it and I guess
Starting point is 00:15:21 he's got a three part documentary. I think it's December 17th on Netflix. Yeah. I'll watch well whatever well look i'll watch i'll watch it with you what do you think he does next year like they're not gonna bring him back well he'll keep playing he's i don't know someone will sign him will they they will he said he's not doing any broadcast stuff well he hates the media i'm the media. I'm sure he does. I'm sure he does. The media that gives him all this attention. Maybe he'll join the Pat McAfee show with the dude with the mullet and the dude that does the fucking impressions.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Well, first of all, the toxic table is hilarious, so back off. I'm not trying to hate on your fucking boyfriends and shit, but I'm sure he could join that show and they could do just fine. You know who else is really funny on that show is old J.J. Watt. I'm glad that you like J.J. Watt. There's a shot of fuck Kansas City, too. Fuck that hellhole. Fuck you, Kansas City. You dipshit city.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Screw all of you. I will say the Pat McAfee T-shirt situation is a bit of a conundrum. No, it's not a conundrum. There's no conundrum. So Jilly tells me, it's like, oh, my birthday's coming up. And all I want is you to take me for a steak dinner and to get me a Pat McAfee show t-shirt. So I go to the Pat McAfee website to buy Jilly a t-shirt and understand, like, I understand that I've sold t-shirts on this podcast before, and it's very easy to argue that they cost too much. But remember, I had to pay
Starting point is 00:16:44 for those t-shirts myself. but remember I had to pay for those t-shirts myself so like I had to make a profit on them like Pat McAfee has like 10-15 million dollar deals I go to his website and I'm like let me get Jilly a t-shirt for her birthday and the t-shirt itself is $37 and then with shipping it's $47 well I feel the shipping like I understand like the $30 t-shirt cause that's kind of standard like barstool is $30 like most are $30 but the $10 shipping like can we just tweet him and be like
Starting point is 00:17:11 can I come pick it up listen here's what I did I put it in the cart two days ago we're walking into the grocery store and I said Jillian I'm gonna tell you something I know for your birthday you wanted a Pat McAfee show shirt cause you're obsessed with this fucking show and that's fine I don't give a shit but you're obsessed with this goddamn show and I'm gonna look I'm gonna I was gonna get you the shirt it was in the fucking cart
Starting point is 00:17:34 and then when I got to the cart and I had to do the shipping it was 46 dollars and Jilly I don't care I'm not like I cannot allow myself to spend46 fucking dollars on a Pat McAfee goddamn shirt. So I'm sorry. No. Oh, you want me to spend $80 on a Pat McAfee hoodie? The fuck I am. So then I went to Barstool to see if they had any Miss Peaches and Pete the Beagle shit for you. And at least they said, listen, we're out of this shit now.
Starting point is 00:18:03 We will send you a text when we have it. Here's a 15% off. Well, you missed, first of all, you screwed up on that because like Barstool had an awesome sale for Black Friday. It was 30% off everything. You know who doesn't have a 30% off everything? Goddamn Pat McAfee. Well, maybe he did for Black Friday. I don't think he did.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Look, I have nothing against him. More power to you. I wish I could be you. I admire you. I mean, yes, I was doing the type of show you you I wish I could be you I admire you I mean yes I was doing the type of show you're doing I was doing it 15 fucking years ago but like good for you you got your little show you make millions of dollars I love it good for you I'm not spending 46 fucking dollars on your goddamn t-shirt because my fucking grown-ass wife over here it's like I need a Pat McAfee shirt I'll make. I will go to fucking Hobby Lobby.
Starting point is 00:18:45 I'll buy some of that shirt glue ink shit, and I'll make you a Pat McAfee shirt. Well, we tried to do that one time in Nashville. We tried to make our own Joe Burrow shirts. It didn't go well, but they went to the Super Bowl that year with our janky, remember our homemade Joe Burrow shirts?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah, they were terrible, but I'll make you a Pat McAfee one because I ain't spending goddamn $46 on a Pat McAfee shirt. The shipping is what gets 46 dollars on a Pat McAfee shirt the shipping is what gets me again 30 dollars for a t-shirt is crazy but that's kind of the going rate for shows and everything like I get it ours were like 30 bucks well I said that but the difference is that's how I made my money to survive I didn't have oh by the way I'm selling t-shirts on top if I get a $15 million salary. I had nothing. I was fired.
Starting point is 00:19:26 I was unemployed. And I had to buy those shirts myself. So I had to go to the shirt place and be like, how much would it cost me to get 100 shirts? They're like, well, it's going to cost you like $15 a shirt or some shit. And I'm like, well, shit, then I have to sell them for $25 to even make any fucking money. So don't fucking judge me for that shit. I tried to make a living off of that shit. And we did make sure we had good quality t-shirts. They were any fucking money. So don't fucking judge me for that shit. I tried to make a living off of that shit. And we did make sure we had good quality t-shirts.
Starting point is 00:19:47 They were great fucking shirts. Then I signed up with this other website, which was truly terrible. I would get the shirts, and I'd be like, these are awful shirts, and I felt terrible about it. So, fuck. Either way. Anyway, I mean, I would like a homemade Pat McAfee t-shirt thing because I just want to see
Starting point is 00:20:05 What happens okay I'll make you a fucking Homemade Pat McAfee shirt I'll make you A shirt if that's what you want Make the shit Now that I'm just looking at this fucking News story yeah what a hell hole we live In in St. Louis there's like police Shootout it was in Festus
Starting point is 00:20:21 Those are my people they were my people Dead body in Jeffersonfferson county so we went to the night ranger show on friday i bought some tickets like i mean a large number of people would walk up to me and be like hey i used to love you on the radio here you're great blah blah blah i'm like well thank you i appreciate that it made me feel good up was you should have had like every one of those people take a picture with you and post a whole collage. Yes. That's where you fucked up. I did because I would have been like, hey, fucking assholes who fired me.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Actually, people do like me here, you sons of bitches. Not even just to the assholes who fired you. I mean to people who might hire you. Like, look, this guy. I was here a year. These seven people all took pictures with me and wanted to say hi. Yeah, because I'm the fucking goat. We messed up on that. I'm the fucking goat, but up on that i'm the fucking
Starting point is 00:21:05 goat but nobody respects my goat status but night ranger rocked as always do not night ranger you look at all these older bands that play most of them are fucking terrible most of them they sound like shit the guys sound terrible the bands are old it's a bunch of old dudes that like or like younger dudes joining these guys none of them were in the band but then you look at night ranger and the whole band is still there they sound fucking great they do but all the original members are still there is my point like kelly the the drummer who sings you know sister christian and sentimental street and all that shit kelly's still there jack blades is still there brad gillis is still there like that's the core of night ranger which is the
Starting point is 00:21:45 greatest american rock band of all time they the core of that band is still there many of these bands that still go out and play the core of the band is still gone and maybe the guitar player is still there maybe the dipshit fucking singer that sounds like shit is still there none of them are like night ranger where you go out now you could you could look at a Motley Crue where outside of Mick Mars, the whole band is still there, but the lead singer sounds like trash. Most of these bands,
Starting point is 00:22:14 you look at Journey, well, the lead singer ain't with Journey anymore. Def Leppard sounds good. I'll give that to Def Leppard. Def Leppard took care of themselves very well. Very few of these bands still take care of themselves as well as a band like Def Leppard does. Most of them sound like absolute shit other than Night Ranger. And I really want Night Ranger to team up with Ted Nugent and Tommy Shawn to do a damn Yankees Night Ranger thing.
Starting point is 00:22:39 It would make me excited. Those are two of my favorite bands. I would love that shit. But who knows if they ever will. Maybe they will. Maybe they won won't i don't know but the point being on all of this is that night ranger fucked hard and we saw them in a room which was smaller than ally's wedding oh it was a tiny little venue and it rocked and i've i'm trying to think of all the times i've seen night ranger venue like when i tell you like ally's wedding so like it was truly it was like the event space at
Starting point is 00:23:04 the hotel yeah casino and it was just like you know the stage that like you'd have your cover band on for your wedding or your dj and like little chairs that were placed together like it was set up for a wedding this was not like a venue there were no screens like you could you know showing the stage this was a venue if there were no chairs would just be like people dancing at a wedding correct and it's still fucked it was amazing and they sound i'm trying to think i'm trying to tabulate the number of times i've seen night ranger i think i got to seven for me and i've seen them more than than you have i've probably seen them 10 times at least 10 times i've seen night ranger if you've never seen night ranger you should go see night ranger we talked about
Starting point is 00:23:43 this last night what's's that? Night Ranger. On the pod? Yeah. No, I think the pod was just a quick little deal there where we mentioned all the prop bets. I got a text from a guy, and he's like, I bet you're having a bad night because I just listened to your prop bets, and you missed a lot. I did pretty well with my prop bets. And on the prop bet show, I usually only just do prop bets. And I don't tell you the parlays I take. And I don't tell you the other shit.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Like, I don't tell you that, hey, I took an LSU and NFLSU parlay that happened to hit in, like, the last minute. And I don't tell you all the games I take the 500 combined passing yards. So up your nose with a fucking rubber hose. God. I tell you, though. I tell you though I tell you Tomorrow morning You guys are going to listen to this obviously in the morning
Starting point is 00:24:29 Or whenever you're going to listen to this Then I'm going to get up and I'm going to bitch about The college football playoff for like an hour But as of right now we're just sitting here drinking beer Talking God amen And we're going to Probably watch try to watch a film We had a lot of fucking heavier beers last night.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Last night, that's what I was saying. I don't remember half my props I picked on that fucking pod. I know I went to Vontae Smith, who did score the Tud. He missed his yards by like two. And I know I went Aaron Rodgers. But, yeah, we had heavy Christmas beers and peppermint vodka last night. Oh, dude, the peppermint vodka fucked me up good. So we got the peppermint twist or whatever it's called.
Starting point is 00:25:08 I think we probably talked about this last night. The guy that brought us the six pack of that in Nashville at the toy drive. He's like, hey, I brought you some toys for the kids, but also here's six bottles of fucking Smirnoff peppermint. And dude, the bottle, you can scratch the bottle and you can smell the peppermint and it fucks. And it tastes really good. But then this morning, I brushed my teeth, I'm like, oh, fuck. I stayed up until 3 a.m. last night. I was donezo.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Jelly rolled out at like midnight. I stayed up until like 3 just sitting here drinking these chocolate beers and doing shots of fucking peppermint vodka. I feel like in my older age now, I'm about to be 41, I've gotten to the point where i can sense where if i have more alcohol i'm going to feel like death the next day yeah and when we're just chilling at home alone i can kind of like you know manage that and just go to bed and watch dateline yeah now when we're out in like houston with denise like i have no it's just it's over yeah but when we're just here i
Starting point is 00:26:04 can cap that and i can be like all right tomorrow's football sunday i want to drink on sunday i don't want to feel like shit i need to go to bed yeah and so that's what i did i just never feel like shit in the morning other than like and part of that is because like when we were in memphis last week i we got hammered at the bar betting on games i came back i projectile vomited in the shower that helped you a lot I did not vomit at all in Memphis well let me tell you a story about here's the key in life even though I'm hammered I'm very cognizant of the fact that I've made a mess so like I didn't even know you could projectile vomit I didn't know that was a real thing of course it is I knew you
Starting point is 00:26:43 could vomit I didn't know you could like truly projectile vomit so like I projectile vomit. I didn't know that was a real thing. Of course it is. I knew you could vomit. I didn't know you could like truly projectile vomit. So like I projectile vomited and part of it, it's not because I, I like, I was super hammered. It was because I think I have some sort of stomach issue where all my shit gets stuck. Like you're also pretty fucking hammered. Yeah. I'm not dismissing that, but like I threw up because a lot of my shit gets stuck, like in the upper part of my stomach. It's weird. I don't gotta go to the doctor but anyway so like when i threw the shit up my main concern was making sure i cleaned up the tub so i sat in there for like an hour like trying to force all of this vomit down the drain and i drunkenly sat on the bed in the hotel room eating this leftover turkey sandwich they gave us at the pea body listening to you projectile vomit and then be like, oh, God, come on, come on, come on, go down, go down, go down.
Starting point is 00:27:29 And I'm just like, well, I'm just going to eat this turkey. It went down, though. Literally like an hour. I'm like, I'm just going to eat this turkey. And then Four Christmases came on on which we should watch that too let's watch that tonight after this we'll watch four christmases what a film but yeah and then by the time you came out i was like oh i'm sleepy now and then i ate the turkey sandwich but yes like there was a lot of vomit that i had to force down the drain at this like five-star hotel that my dad paid for in Memphis I'm like get the fuck
Starting point is 00:28:05 down there you goddamn motherfuckers oh shit uh what a life and that's usually what happens is like sometimes like I'm good to stay up like I'll like okay yeah I've had some drinks but I'm good like let's watch something let's hang out but then like you take so long in the shower that I fall asleep. Well, I projectile vomited and had to get all the vomit down. Like, I didn't want to wake up the next morning and see a tub full of vomit. But, again, you don't vomit in toilets. Well, no, I was in the shower.
Starting point is 00:28:35 I wasn't going to get out of the shower to go vomit. It's really, I understand, like, vomiting into the toilet is gross. It's like, ew, my mom's on a toilet. Yeah. But it's so much easier. Well, I respect that but i was in the shower i wasn't going to get out of the shower to vomit uh in the toilet so i just yacked in the shower i mean it was like exorcist type shit and i didn't even know you could do that
Starting point is 00:28:54 but you can you can i did not know that projectile vomiting was such a thing but it is a thing and also like so we're on this kind of like streak here where i guess outside of monday we've drank like every night for two weeks. D-Gins. Which is fine. It's not like we get hammered every, like we'll have some wine, we'll have a couple beers. But I think I'm starting to get a cold. So now I'm wondering, like, do I need to break the streak and do cold medicine again instead tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:29:20 No, I think that just means you need to drink Rumpelmints and it'll open you up. Oh, well, maybe. I mean, it's Monday Night Football. Joe's playing. Yeah, it's a big night. Got to go bet on Joe tomorrow. So, I tell you, what a night. What a day.
Starting point is 00:29:35 You need to get a job. We need to get a dog. We need something. Yeah, because we're currently just fucking degenerates that gamble and drink. Like, gamble. Go gamble. Come back home. Drive back over and gamble some more, drink more alcohol. That's literally all we do. And, like, I don't have, I can't wear jeans.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Jillian's gotten so fat she can't wear jeans. My, like, the pair of jeans that I bought, it was last October. I know this because Denise and PK were in town. And I actually bought the wrong size at Old Navy. I bought one size too big. And you're like, those look terrible. Those aren't even staying on your waist. I'm like, you're right.
Starting point is 00:30:12 These are awful. So I donated those, bought the right size at the time. Those don't fit anymore. And then I bought two sizes up. And those, not great. Nope. Jilly's a heifer now she's gotten fat i don't walk i got we don't have a dog so like we don't do i don't do anything you were walking for a while but now i don't think you walk either nope not much i walk around the mall until i get to my
Starting point is 00:30:37 seat and then i sit in my seat and then i make my prop bets so that's like i feel like we've talked about supports it's dumb to get a dog because you don't have a job right now. Yeah. We're going to move probably in a few months. Hopefully. Good Lord willing. So that's stupid to get a dog. And this house is a mess. We've got things packed up already like. Yeah. But yet I feel like we need a
Starting point is 00:30:58 dog. Well that would make us feel somewhat normal. So that would be the hope. The hope would be that a dog would make us feel somewhat normal. But I also don't know if that's stupid because i don't know if it's stupid can we afford a dog yeah i think we can dogs are expensive they are but i think we can hopefully we get a job somewhere soon and get the fuck out of it and then i can go rebuild my podcast studio so i don't have to record podcasts on the couch or in my underwear every day and can rebuild my podcast studio. Maybe I can get our buddies who got us this computer, built this computer for us to build
Starting point is 00:31:29 me another computer so we can each have our own separate studios. How many houses are, how many bedrooms are we renting in this next house? 11. Oh. Yeah, it's going to be a mansion. So that's the hope.

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