The Josh Innes Show - JIS and Wake Up: A Massive Betting Ball Buster

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

Hello All! Last night I placed a single game parlay on the Memphis Grizzlies/ NY Knicks game. The story that follows will crush your soul. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Josh Ennis Show. Hello everybody! Josh Ennis, how are you? So, do you guys gamble? Do you bet on sports? Because I bet on sports, as you know, and I probably bet too much. I'm actually embarrassed to tell you how much money I've gambled this year. It's embarrassing. Now, there are different ways to look at it, right? Because I've taken out money. I've just basically put back all the money I've in.

So whatever number I would give you, understand that you would just cut that in half and it would be like the real deposit or whatever. But I have gambled just an exceedingly large number of or amount of money. And I'm down, obviously. i'm not very high up see i'd be a really good gambler if i had discipline but i don't so what happens is i just sit around all day and i gamble on random stuff you know we make jokes about ukrainian table tennis well i've gambled on ukrainian table tennis at two in the morning like i I just, like it's a, it's problematic at times. We'll put it that way. If I could just be disciplined, I'd be a great gambler.

Cause when I just bet on stuff that I really believe in, I do very well, but then I'll lose a couple in a row and just keep hammering until I hit something. Then I blow that. Like, that's just how I gamble. But if I were someone who legitimately could sit there and be disciplined and just kind of go with what I believe, and I think I'd be a very successful gambler, especially with the gist of them, I think it would be a winning system, and I think that I could make lots of money doing that, and that would be lovely. Problem is I can't do any of that.

But that's not what this is about. This is about a parlay last night that I did not hit, and it was the most epic beat they throw a bunch of laterals for no reason and the other team picks it up and scores and then boom, you blow the cover, like that type of stuff. A bad beat. You lose a baseball over under on a meaningless wild pitch that scores a run in the ninth and you don't hit the under, all that kind of stuff. A bad beat. And I've had plenty of those in my life. Now, there have been bets that I should have made that I didn't. We've talked about those many times, like the Joe Burrow bet that I almost made for Joe to win the Heisman, where $1,000 would have won $250,000. And that was legit. I was in line. It was about midnight in Vegas. We were about to go catch a flight to go back to Houston at the time, and I was in line. I was just drunk enough to take the money that I had won. I believe it was money that we won on the Blues playoff series, and we went back to get the money, and we're ready to go, and I decided,

nope, I'm going to keep my cash. I'm going to just go home with some money so I can feel like I won something. The one time I was responsible. There's never times where I go, hey, Josh, here's a great idea. Just take your winnings and go home. Take your ball and go home. It's always, well, you're up 400, so let's just, you're going to stop at 200. Let's keep playing until you're down to 200. Then it's 200 down to 100, 100 down to zero. That's how I operate.

I am a shitty, undisciplined gambler. That is my problem. We have talked about that. We've had this discussion many times. And that's what's in. That's what's in. But let me tell you, all these times I've blown these, the Burrow one stands out the most. Because I was in line to do that.

But normally, I just blow money. So I was going to put whatever it was, $1,000 on Burrow. He ends up winning the Heisman. The second we went to that game against Texas and he had that baller-ass game, I said, yep, I blew it. Should have done it. Didn't. Whatever.

It is what it is. Now, all the bad beats I've had in my life, many of them, heartbreakers, last-second shots, over-unders that didn't hit. There's been some epic parlays that didn't hit. Now, in fairness, there have been some epic ones that have hit that shouldn't have hit, and you have these great moments. But last night, I had a parlay, a same-game parlay, in the Memphis Grizzlies-New York Knicks game in Memphis.

All right? This same-game parlay featured Steven Adams to have over 2.5 assists by the way, if you're listening to this and you do sports bet I would urge you to always look for Steven Adams over assists my man is always over 2.5 assists yet they leave it at 2.5 the Memphis guys have a bunch of dudes who are great for same game parlays Desmond Bain is great, they always set his number low for assists and rebounds, he gets those numbers

and he also hits a lot of threes, right? They are a great same-game parlay team, Memphis. They're fantastic. But here's the same-game parlay I had. Stephen Adams over two and a half assists. John Morant over six and a half assists. Desmond Bain over three and a half rebounds. Desmond Bain over two and a half assists. Desmond Bain, three plus three pointers made. Steven Adams, six and a half rebounds over. And the team over 115 and a half. So 116 points at least for the Grizzlies. That was the parlay. I built this same game parlay and it was plus 2350. So it was 2350. So a hundred bucks would win you $2,350. So it was $2,350. So $100 would win you $2,350. I put in $25. I had a free play from FanDuel. I've been using a bunch of different apps because DraftKings is not using

me anymore for their ads. So I'm trying FanDuel. I'm trying BetMGM, just seeing what else everybody has. Really, I'm just hunting for the signup bonuses and seeing where I can go from there to save a couple bucks. I think I have a $200 signup bonus from BetMGM that I'm just hunting for the sign-up bonuses and seeing where I can go from there to save a couple bucks. I think I have a $200 sign-up bonus from BetMGM that I'm using. I blew the sign-up bonus for FanDuel the other day. But anyway, so I'm using FanDuel for this. Plus $2,350 is the number. Start watching the game, you know, and kind of half-watching, watching the Astros going back and forth.

The Phillies game was still happening at the time, so I'm watching the Phillies. I'm watching the Astros. I'm watching the game, you know, and kind of half-watching, watching the Astros going back and forth. The Phillies game was still happening at the time, so I'm watching the Phillies, I'm watching the Astros, I'm watching the game. First quarter-plus goes along, first half really goes along, and nothing had hit yet, but there were ones that looked close, like Bain had a couple threes, and Adams had five rebounds, whatever it was, at half. Ja had a handful of assists. Everything was at least trending in a positive direction. There was nothing that wasn't going to hit. And oh, by the way, the Grizzlies had like 60 points at halftime. So the least of my concerns would be whether or not the Grizzlies would get to 115.5.

It looked like a lock. I mean, they were just balling in the second quarter. I think they had like 35 points in the second quarter. So we leave at halftime to go to get a little ice cream, even though it's like 30 degrees and want a little ice cream. So we went to Chick-fil-A because it's cheaper. By the way, don't go to Dairy Queen. I love Dairy Queen and you guys know that I love Dairy Queen and I love the M&M Blizzard with no chocolate sauce. But Dairy Queen has become a real dickhead place lately and they're overcharging for the

Blizzard. Medium Blizzard cost me like six bucks now. Me and Jilly go to Dairy Queen has become a real dickhead place lately, and they're overcharging for the Blizzard. Medium Blizzard costs me like $6 now. Me and Jilly go to Dairy Queen. She gets a little small thing. I get a Medium Blizzard. It costs $12. Gone are the days that me and James Lee Mudd would go there to two of us getting larges, and it would cost like $8. Those days are over.

But anyway, I digress. So we go to Chick-fil-A to get an ice dream cup and a little chocolate chip cookie action because life is good. I like to mix up the chocolate chip cookie and the ice cream, make a little treat. It's delicious. By the way, Jelly got a little strawberry sundae. I got an ice cream with a cookie. You know how much it cost? Four fucking dollars.

Four dollars. Why the hell would you ever go over to Dairy Queen and spend $8 for an ice cream when you can go over to Chick-fil-A and get an ice cream, which is delicious ice cream, by the way, and crumble up their delicious chocolate chip cookie in it and make a great treat? Or go to McDonald's, assuming the machine is on, and get the hot fudge sundae, which is another great treat. But I digress. Let's get into the bets. Let's continue. All right. If you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs,

you've got to check out Pick 6 from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings Pick 6 posterizes the competition, including prize picks. It's a very simple concept. Hit all your picks and score higher minimum payouts on pick six, plus even more cash if you outscore the competition. Pick six is available in most states, including Missouri, California, Texas, Georgia, and more. And I absolutely love it.

Look, every night we're going to be having playoff basketball. Every night. So when you're sitting around and you might not have interest in a particular game, let's say you're a fan of a particular team, they're not playing that night, here's how you make it a little bit more fun for the other games. Build a little lineup there with Pick 6. It's really great. Me and my wife do it all the time, so make sure you do it. And new players get 50 in Pick 6 credits instantly on just a $5 entry. Download the DraftKings Pick 6 app now and use code INNES, that's my name, I-N-N-E-S, for new customers to play. $5, get 50 in Pick 6 credits, better payouts, bigger wins, only with Pick 6 from DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER help is available for problem gambling

call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in connecticut must be 18 plus age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction pick six not available everywhere including new york and ontario void where prohibited one per new customer. Bonus award. It is non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. So we go out. I have to go to the CVS to get Jilly some NyQuil or whatever.

I come back out. I look at my phone. And I see that, oh, Stephen Adams assists have hit. Oh, Ja Morant assists hit. Desmond Bain assists hit easily. Desmond Bain, three-pointers hit. Stephen Adams rebounds hit easily. That was in the third quarter. Now, the scoring had slowed down greatly. The Grizzlies had about 85 points at the end of the third quarter. So I would have needed a 31-point quarter. Okay, fine.

But all I need in the fourth quarter of this game to hit this parlay that is plus $2,350. Again, $100 wins $2,300. I put a $25 bet in. I stood to win. I believe the total was like 587, almost 600. Super, right? All I need is Desmond Bain to get one more rebound, and all I need is the game over to hit 116.

And by game over, I mean the Grizzlies game total over 116, team total over 116. It's all I need. It's all I need. With about a minute to go in the game, it's not looking likely. I think the Grizzlies had like 106. There's no way they were going to get to 116. And Bain still didn't have the rebound. About a minute to go, the Knicks miss a shot, and Desmond Bain comes down with the rebound and injures himself after getting the rebound. So he's out. They take him out. But I get the rebound, and I go, yep, wouldn't you know it? Everything but the over is going to hit. The only hope I have here is for this game to go

to overtime. That's the only chance I have to hit. If that doesn't happen, I'm donezo. So while I am a Grizzlies fan, like a legitimate Grizzlies fan, I love them and I've been watching them for the last decade. I love Memphis. I feel a kinship and a great bond with Memphis. Anybody that listened in Houston knows this. I'm a Grizzlies guy. Me and Jilly love the Grizzlies. So part of me is rooting for the Grizzlies to win, and the other part is hoping that this game somehow goes to overtime.

So fast forward. Grizzlies are up 108-105, I believe was the score. 108-105 with about eight seconds to go. And the Knicks have the ball. And they inbound, get a great look at three from the corner, and they fucking hit it to tie it at 108. And I'm going crazy like, holy shit! Don't score, Grizzlies! Don't score! Grizzlies call timeout with about three seconds to go. And they're inbounding sideline. They run this incredible play for John Moran. He gets the ball top of the key, ISO'd. It's him versus a defender, beats the defender.

One man steps up to help out, stands there to attempt to take a charge. It's a questionable block charge. He makes the basket. Ref blows the whistle. Charge. 0.5 seconds to go. Wave off the bucket. Alright? People are going

nuts. They think it's a bad call. Probably was a bad call. I don't think it was a charge, but in that moment, Jilly looks and goes, do you think that was a charge? I go, well, considering that I want to make this money, yep, it was a charge. .5 seconds, nothing happens. It goes to overtime. I mean, think about all the shit that had to happen for me to hit

this parlay. It is remarkable overtime. I mean, think about all the shit that had to happen for me to hit this parlay. It is remarkable. All the things. Dez Bain gets a rebound right before he injures himself and leaves the game. The Grizzlies need to give up a three at the end of the game in regulation to make it tied. They do. Then they need to not score with three seconds, but they do, and it's waved off by an offensive foul. This is betting God's smiling down upon you shit. Like this is like,

wow, out of all the bad shit that happens to me gambling and the thousands of dollars I waste every year doing this, it's an addiction. It's a problem. It fucking sucks. All the money I've done, all the money I've lost, everything, moments like this make you go, fuck, this is why this is the most fucking fun ever. It's a rush. It's great. It's a thrill. I look at Jilly and I go, fuck, this is why this is the most fucking fun ever. It's a rush. It's great. It's a thrill. I look at Jilly and I go, holy shit, we're going to hit this. I told her before, if it goes to overtime, that's our only chance to hit. When that was waved off, I said, fuck it, we're going to hit this goddamn parlay. And I was going to win 587 bucks. Great. I mean, I'm still down 12 grand for the year, but hey, a win is a win.

And in that very moment, there's nothing better than that fucking win. So it goes to overtime. And when I tell you that these two fucking teams couldn't hit a goddamn shot, but I'm not worried yet because you need eight points. In five minutes of basketball, you need eight points from one team. That's it. Eight. It's the Grizzlies. They score a ton, right? They get a couple early. It's kind of going along. They score a ton, right? They get a couple early.

It's kind of going along. They're taking a lot of threes, missing a lot of threes. About four minutes to go. I'm like, okay, no worries. Need like six points. Not the end of the world. We're fine. Three minutes to go.

Okay, still need about six points. But it's okay. Keep jacking up threes and missing. We start getting into that two minutes to go universe. And it's like, I don't know. I'm starting to worry a little bit. So I think with a little over a minute to go is when this happened. It's kind of a blur now.

Tyush Jones hits a three for the Grizzlies and puts them up 115 to 112. They are one point away. One. Singular point. They need to do this. They got about a minute

or so to do it. Think of how much time is left. Knicks go back down. They don't do anything. Grizzlies get it back. And in my mind there's like 30 something seconds to go. In my mind it's they need to hit a shot here or get fouled because if they miss it and the Knicks get the ball

the Knicks are going to get the last possession of the game and they're going to take a three and either hit it or miss it and that's it. So with about eight, nine, ten seconds to go, the Grizzlies miss a shot. Okay? About ten seconds I think is how much it was. Back tap, offensive rebound. I'm like, holy shit. It's destiny.

This was meant to happen. All the years of my gambling torture, everything is all culminating right here in this great moment. Now, granted, I've had bigger wins than 587 bucks, but in that moment, you're like, wow, this is everything. Wow, this is the gods truly smiling down upon me saying, we owe you one, you son of a bitch. You've given us hundreds of thousands of dollars seemingly. So here, they get the offensive rebound. Foul 10 seconds ago. They have to foul again to get them in the bonus.

The good news is it's the pros shooting two free throws no matter what. Grizzlies inbound the ball into the backcourt, and Morant runs around for like six seconds. Like, he burns a lot of time off the clock. Gets it into the frontcourt to Tyus Jones, who just hit the three to make it 115-112. I'm thinking, all right. I asked Chili, what kind of free throw shooter is Tyus Jones? She Googles it on her little phone.

He's an 82% career free throw shooter. I say, fuck right he is. Let's dance. He's a better free throw shooter than Ja. Now, Ja's a good clutch free throw shooter, but overall this guy's a better one. But something happened. He got hit in the face when he got fouled. So he's pulling one of those things where you kind of wink and rub in your eye trying to figure everything out, right?

I'm like, oh shit, that's not good. But it's fine. He's a professional basketball player and he must hit one. He must hit one of two free throws. And if he does that, not only will the Grizzlies win, because I'll be up by four with 3.2 seconds to go, or I think it was four seconds, whatever it is. Not only will they win, but I'm going to hit my parlay and life is going to be beautiful. So Tyus goes up to the free throw line. I'm pacing around the room.

You know, I got my hands on my knees. I stop, put my hands on my knees, kind of like hunched over, like, all right, hit number one. You know, like that guy, the dude in Superbad, the dude that accidentally ran over Jonah Hill. Right when he does the scene where he's like, you know a guy named Jimmy? You look just like his brother. And he starts kind of rocking back and forth on his heel. That was me. And I'm going, everything's good. He's going to hit this. First free throw, rattles, out. So now with four seconds to go and $587 on the line, I just need Tyus Jones to hit one free

throw. One and one right here. There's only one attempt. All or nothing. Winner takes it all. Loser takes the fall. Free throw. Well, Jilly looks at me and goes, you know he's not going to hit it. I said, bitch, fuck you. It's not what I said. I'm a nicer gentleman than that. But I said he will because he's a pro. That was my words. I was actually confident. I was positive about something. I said, you know what? Here's what's going to happen. He's going to make this shot. And he missed it pretty badly. Rebound to the Knicks. They call a timeout. They're down three with like four seconds to go. So now I'm going through all the scenarios in my mind. How can the Grizzlies have another attempt at the basket? First thought is, well, they've got to hit another three,

and they've already done it, so that's good. Broadcaster on the Grizzlies broadcast says, well, you know what needs to happen? They need to foul to prevent him from shooting the three. And my first thought is, no, don't do that. We need a three to go to another overtime. But then I thought, wait a minute. If they foul him, they're down three. He's got to try to hit a free throw, or maybe there's enough time left where if he hits two free throws,

they might have enough time to hit two free throws foul and go. But then I said they have no timeouts left. So they couldn't advance the ball. So they're going to have to try to miss one of these free throws if they do it. Fine. Inbound the ball. Grizzlies foul in.8 seconds. I'm good.

I'm like, all right, about 3.2. We're good. Let's see what they do. That's a good amount of time there. Oh, by the way, the Grizzlies have to foul him again to get to the bonus. I'm like, shit. Okay, fine. No matter what'szzlies have to foul him again to get to the bonus. I'm like, shit. Okay, fine. No matter what's going to happen here, there's going to be an opportunity. There's so many things that could happen. With three seconds to go down by three, the Knicks

could try to hit two and foul one more time or try to get a steal and foul. The Knicks could hit one and miss one on purpose. The Grizzlies get a rebound and get fouled. There were so many things that could happen to get this one point. But with 3.2 seconds left, I was still convinced it was possible. And I was believing. For whatever reason, I had confidence. I had faith. I believed that this parlay was going to happen. It was a thing of beauty. It was too much destiny. Too many things had gone my way. With the Bane rebound with less than a minute to go before he got hurt. With the three to send it to overtime. All of these things that had gone in my... The penalty. The foul on the charge that took the basket off the board that sent it to overtime. All these things.

There's no way that the gods are not going to give me this dub tonight. There's no way. So they inbound the ball again and it's buried in like the coffin corner. And the guy's like double teamed down there. Gets a decent look at a three. I'm going foul him. Pleaseets a decent look at a three. I'm going, foul him! Please, for the love of God, foul him! He gets the shot off and misses.

Horn sounds. Game over. So I don't get the point. We lose the play. But then, to really add insult to this, to add just salt to this wound, here's what happened. So the announcers say, you know what?

I think he stepped out of bounds before he attempted the three anyway. And I'm thinking, oh, it doesn't matter. He didn't hit the three, so what does it matter? But then I thought, wait a minute. If he stepped out, that means that play shouldn't have happened, and that means it should be Grizzlies' ball, and that means we should be inbounding with a chance to get fouled. Show the replay. And sure enough, the guy who caught the ball in the corner

stepped out of bounds with like 1.8, 1.9 seconds. Might have been two seconds. Stepped on the back. His heel was on the out-of-bounds line. That should have been a turnover with two seconds to go. And that should have been Grizzlies' ball. Now, maybe they don't foul him in that scenario. They might. Maybe if the Grizzlies do get the ball back with two seconds to go, maybe the Knicks just say, screw it, we're not going to foul. In college, they definitely would foul because college, those games go two hours with fouls at the end of the game. So maybe they wouldn't have fouled him.

Maybe they would have, but I wanted that opportunity. Instead, I did not get that opportunity. And I missed this epic parlay that hit six of seven by one damn game. By one leg of the parlay, I missed it. And it was all based, like the one that I thought was the biggest home run, when I looked at the whole sheet in the third quarter, with about five minutes to go in the third quarter, the Grizzlies had 80 points. They were up 80 to 67, and I said, well, shit, they're going to easily get to 116.

It's the Bain rebounds and some other stuff I'm concerned about. And what did it come down to? It came down to the over-under for the Grizzlies, and they missed it by one singular fucking point. And at that moment, I'm like despondent. Like, Jilly's kind of like laughing and having a good time. Like, boy, gambling, am I right? I said, shut the fuck up. I hate gambling. It's the worst. And it is. It's pretty brutal.

And now we sit here. Now, granted, it was a $25 bet. Big fucking deal, right? But I would have liked that $600. But it felt real good. Just a fucking gut punch. Just a knee to the groin on that one. Jeez. Anyway.

All right, guys. More to come.