The Josh Innes Show - JIS And Wake Up: I Can't Quit Football

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Saturday night I told myself I wasn't going to wake up to watch the Saints/Vikings in London. I know the Saints stink. I know Andy Dalton is the QB. I know they have no chance of doing anything this season and probably many seasons to come. The run is over. Yet, I ended up watching the whole damn game and hate myself for it. Today's "JIS And Wake Up" is about my up and down morning watching the Saints and why I can't quit football. Plus, I give you the best players to Live Bet in the NFL. Also, the Eagles are really good but I really hate the coach. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Josh Innes Show. Howdy hi everybody and welcome in to the Josh Innes Show. How are you? Good morning. Timelessly. Well, it's sometime early. It's early. But here we go. Glad you guys are with us. Appreciate all of you who listened to the first episode. Still gaining some steam there. Sorry for the absence.

I was having a crisis in my own mind. I was busy. I had a lot of stuff going on, but I'm here now. And you know the ultimate goal of the podcast and what my plans are, and I'm going to work towards that. But I want to start getting some more content out there to you guys because I love you, and I miss you, and we miss each other. And let's rock.

I had a lot of pumpkin beer yesterday. I have a lot of beer during the weekends. I don't know if you guys knew this or not, but I have a lot of beer. I get thirsty. Luke Bryan's got this beer that I love. It's called Tulane Beer. It's the word two, T-W-O, and lane. And I don't know where you can find it outside of nashville

i'm sure that there's somewhere out there you can find it but it is my favorite beer it's light you crush it it's great jilly and i actually we sat out on the uh on our deck on saturday night and watched college football it was was a little chilly, right? But Luther sat out there with us. I bought that furniture. Was I still doing the podcast when I bought all that patio furniture? And I told you about the ordeal of trying to put together this shitty sectional that I ordered from like Overstock.

And of course it comes from Japan and it's virtually impossible to find. Like the directions are in there, but it doesn't really tell you step by step what to do it just like basically it showed a picture but I would have preferred it told me what to do so I'm trying to follow these pictures and much like the time I tried to put that grill together and it took me three days uh this damn thing took forever, but I finally got the thing put together. Then I get it put together and Jilly goes, you know, the cushions slide. And I don't want Luther to jump on this because if the cushions slide, what if he jumps, the cushion goes out from underneath him and he falls and he hurts himself. And of course I'm sitting down there and I'd been Allen wrenching for the last four days. So my hands are calloused and blistered and I'm like,

oh, so the dog. Ah, so we're afraid that Luther's going to jump off of here. Oh no, what are we going to do? So then I have to find ways to get this shit to stick to wicker. It's wicker. It's a wicker sectional and it's hard to find tapes and shit that will stick cushions to wicker. So I go to Amazon and I buy like this, like these big squares of Velcro to try to stick to one to the back of the cushion and one to the bottom part of the Velcro to the wicker and see if it'll stick. Well, these things don't really stick to these cushions or wicker, but somehow I was able to get it to stick just enough so when Luther jumps up there, the cushion doesn't slide and Jilly's happy.

Well, every morning there's some moisture and dew and everything that gets on the couch. And Jilly, or it rained one day, I forgot what happened, but Jilly has to pick up the cushions and kind of drain them out. Well, she doesn't realize that it's Velcroed down, and really, this is not your typical type of Velcro where you think, oh, I can just pull the cushion off, and it's going to pull the one side, like it's going to un-Velcro. No, what's going to happen is it's going to stay Velcroed, but the part that's stuck to

the cushion is going to be removed, and then it's going to be a real bitch to put anything back on there, and of course, that's what happened. She ripped it off, and now the thing kind of wiggles a little bit when Luther jumps, but I think we're okay. But we sat out there on that. Well, first of all, we bought that and I thought, hey, this kind of kicks ass. Then I realized that it's not really that comfortable of a sectional for me. So then I went to Big Lots and bought another chair for myself. But anyway, we sat out there, watched LSU overcome a 17-point deficit to beat Auburn. That was fun. They got Tennessee this weekend. I think they got a shot to beat Tennessee, by the way. If you start looking at the line,

if you think about it, Tennessee's a top-10-ranked team. They score all day. You would think that they'd be heavily favored against LSU. LSU's not that great. They're not playing a night game. All that stuff at home. LSU's like a 4.5 half point dog. And I was talking to Matt Muscone about it. He goes, yeah, and I talked to some people who would actually have it rated as a pick-em. So I think LSU's got a shot to win. I think LSU has a legitimate shot of being the second best team in the SEC West, but we'll get into that another time. So it was a good weekend. Beer drinking. Had a lot of pumpkin beers yesterday. Did some terrible

gambling. But let me give you a piece of advice on gambling. One very important piece. There are certain teams and certain players, if you want a live prop bet, that are just easy money, right? Some of them are great garbage time guys. Like Derek Carr always seems, if you find him at the right time, Derek Carr will get you a passing yardage over in live bets. Kyler Murray, generally speaking, because the Cardinals will be losing and they have to rally, he's a good live bet over guy. Same can be said for Jared Goff.

Jared Goff and the Lions are always down like 10, 14 points and they have to throw. Their defense is dreadful, but for as dreadful as their defense is, their offense is actually pretty good. And that was without one of their best receivers. It was without Swift yesterday. And the dude threw for like three, whatever it was. I got in at 333 and a half. That's when I got in on Jared Goff. At the time, I think they were down 10 with about five minutes or so to go. And Goff, they golf they said hey can he get 20 more yards it was 330 and it was 333 and a half he was at 313 i said that'll be easy money two completions he's in but you could have gotten in anywhere in that game because i think he opened in like the

250s or something so jared goff is another one of those guys if you're looking for live bet passing yardage total overs jared goff is a dude for that. I also got screwed last night by Pat Mahomes, who I decided, I never do this, but I got tired of being on my phone. I got tired of constantly looking at live bets. I had a headache from doing it. The other day I looked at my phone. It said your screen time, your usage time is up 25% this week.

I am always on my phone like hours and hours and hours. So I just really didn't want to be on my phone anymore. So I decided to just put in a play on Pat Mahomes before the game and let it roll. Right? I think the over under was 263.5.

So I needed 264. And the game starts with freaking Tampa fumbling inside the 25-yard line, and the Chiefs get a quick touchdown, which is a kiss of death. That's the worst-case scenario when you're looking for a player to get passing yardage overs. The kiss of fucking death is a 20-yard drive off of a turnover on the opening kickoff like that. And of course, if that were a normal drive, and Kansas City's great on opening drives, if Tampa scores there, or if Tampa has to punt and the Chiefs start the drive at their

own 30, more than likely Mahomes throws for 30, 40 yards in that drive and everything's fine. Instead, he throws for like 15 yards on that drive and they score a touchdown and they're up 7-0, never look back, and then I'm fucked. Why am I fucked? Because they never really have to throw it a ton. The game's never really all that close, and they end up missing it by 17. He threw one

last ball last night, and I think I was 17 yards away, and it was a third down, and the Chiefs are throwing. I'm thinking, alright, well, this is my chance. Fucker throws an interception, and unless Tampa would have ran that bad, all right, well, this is my chance. Fucker throws an interception. And unless Tampa would have ran that bad boy all the way back, there ain't no way they were throwing again, and they didn't. And I end up missing the damn thing.

But I know you have your own problems. But just take this word of advice. Do this for your boy. Keep an eye on Kyler Murray live passing props. Keep an eye on Jared Goff live passing props. Those are the two best. And Derek Carr can get it done. Derek Carr actually got it done for me yesterday as well. Keep an eye on Jared Goff. Live passing props. Those are the two best. And Derek Carr can get it done.

Derek Carr actually got it done for me yesterday as well in that game against Denver. Russ Wilson's also kind of a sneaky one, but he's not the same dude now. Although he did. Now, I didn't play it yesterday, but Russ, his passing yardage total was down, down, down all day. Throws two bombs in the fourth quarter, and boom, damn near throws for 300 yards. So that's another guy to always keep an eye on. Those are some of my favorite plays. Anytime you're looking to live bet, live betting is key in all this,

and keep an eye on that. Now, fuck, so where do I start? So I didn't want to watch. Like, I'm over the Saints, right? The Saints, their defense is very good, but offensively they're a fucking disaster. Camara sucked for a handful of years now. Thomas is out for the year more than likely with a foot injury, and he's been a loserving door of busts and nobodies. And the offense just stinks. And I told myself yesterday, in particular, I mean, first I was worked up after they lost to Tampa. But then they come back and play like shit against Carolina. And Jameis has a broken back. And I'm like, fuck this shit.

I don't want it. I'm out. So I'm done. And my plan was to get so blitzed on Saturday and stay up so late on Saturday that I would sleep through this god-awful 8.30 London fucking start time. Because I told myself, I said, Josh, it's over. It's done-zo. Do not, under any circumstance, watch the Saints. It's done.

You know they don't have a chance to win anything. They don't have the quarterback to do it. It's done. The era of the last five years of the Saints being a Super Bowl contender is over. You know it's over. You knew it was over last year when their offense stunk. It's done. The coach is gone.

Everything. Just don't watch. It's going to piss you off. So I told myself, as I sat up drinking on Saturday night, said, well, at least LSU won, so I have something to kind of root for now. Maybe LSU's kind of turning a corner. Don't worry about the Saints. Don't watch the Saints.

Don't care about the Saints. Don't do anything Saints-related. Don't wake up. This game is in London. It's at 830. Do not wake up. Just sleep through it. So I'm pounding beers, you know, feeling good on Saturday night.

I bought myself an extra plain double whopper so I could have that to eat Just sleep through it. So I'm pounding beers, you know, feeling good on Saturday night. I bought myself an extra plain double whopper so I could have that to eat after all the games were over on Saturday. It's a nice time. I enjoyed it. Jilly and I stayed up until, you know, 2 o'clock, 2.30 on Saturday, and I'm thinking, thank Christ I'm not going to accidentally watch this Saints game. They stink. They're done.

Like, let's put it this way. When the season started, Matt and I are texting before the games. Like, the only time Matt Moscona and I will really text or he'll text back is about the Saints. LSU games, never get a text, right? But the Saints, I'll get a picture of him wearing his Man of God DeMario Davis headband. I'll send him a picture of me wearing a jersey. And we bitch about the game and celebrate and say fuck and shit and all that. That was to start the season. Last week, we weren't even getting taxed. You can kind of get the vibe the season stinks and it's bad news.

So my plan was to just sleep and miss all of it and not have to worry about it. That's all I wanted. Was to sleep and not end up accidentally seeing the Saints. 834. Probably slept for about five, six hours. 834. I get up or I forgot if I got up or how it went. Jilly might have gotten up to go to the bathroom. 834. Luther comes up and starts licking.

He's like, hey, Dad, what's going on? Dad, it's Sunday. Where are we going? Where are we going? So I'm like, all right, damn it. I get up and pee, whatever. I come back to bed. Jilly turns the TV on, and there's the fucking Saints game.

I'm like, well, shit, I'm awake, and okay, I'll watch it, whatever. And I die, but I'm going to watch it, but I'm not going to get into it. I'm not, I have no interest in this. Like I'm emotionally, I'm detached. I know they stink. I know they don't have the quarterback. I mean, fucking Andy Dalton's playing quarterback. They stink. It's over. Just don't get attached to it. Don't get into it, Josh. Just don't. Game plays out and it's close and all this, but yeah, okay, whatever. I'm not really into it. I'm looking at my phone, looking for some shit to bet on. Whatever.

Don't care. But then as the game goes on, it starts getting close. And then as it goes on, the Saints rally and the Saints take the lead. And I'm kind of back into it again. I'm like, shit, well, they're up 22-19. If they win this, they're 2-2. The division's not really all that good. Maybe they can get by with Andy Dalton.

Somehow I've gone from fuck everything, I hate them, it's over, to okay, they hold on and win here, that's a good win. They come back, they're 2-2. I mean, I'm laying out all the plans in my mind. So then the Vikings get the fucking ball back, and it looks like the Saints are about to make a stop. It's third and ten. They make a stop.

The fucking officials throw a flag for a hands to the face, which was a phantom call that did not happen on a third down on an incomplete pass. It was a complete bullshit call from inept refs who are stealing money because they're fucking terrible at their jobs. And the second that play happened, I had been zen for the whole thing. I was a little bit excited when the Saints took the lead. I'm like, all right, we're all right. Maybe we're two and two after this. When that call happened, I lost my fucking mind. I get out of bed.

I'm in my underwear. I roll out of bed, and I start pacing around the room just fucking furious, swinging my fucking arms, like kind of hitting the wall. Luther's over in bed like, what the fuck? Like I'm like, it's like I can't, like I want to quit it, and I don't want to watch, and I don't want to be part of it. I just want out. I want out.

And then that call happens, and they fuck us, and I'm yelling at the TV. You motherfuckers always fucking fuck us, and you fuck us when we play the Vikings more than ever. Fuck these guys. So it's a hands-to-the-face penalty. It's five yards. They get a first down. They throw a deep ball towards the end zone and call pass interference.

Another bullshit call considering the fucking receiver grabbed the defender by the face mask. Pass interference. They get it at the one. And at this point, I'm just fucking livid. And they eventually score and they take the lead. 25-22, they missed the extra points. It was 25-22. And I'm going just ape shit.

I'm running off to Twitter like a typical fucking McDougal meathead. I'm like, fuck these refs. Fuck the league. It's rigged. Fuck everybody. Fuck, fuck, fuck. And I still believe it. Be good at your fucking job. You're expecting NFL players to be great at their job. You're expecting the announcers to be great

at their job. You're expecting the coaches to be great at their job. Yet the refs, they get some sort of leeway where they can be fucking terrible at their job. And those two calls were fucking brutal. But I digress. Saints eventually get the ball back. They're driving. They stall out. They need to kick a 60-yard field goal. I'm yelling at the fucking TV. Why are we kicking a 60-yard field goal? Just go for it. You're not going to nail it. Well, of course, Lutz nails it and ties it at 25. Saints fuck themselves by giving up a couple of deep plays, give up another field goal. They're down 28-25, and then the fucking double doink. My god. And whenever that double doink

happened, Jilly was outside. She had the door open to the patio. Luther was outside with her. And she's like, they'll do better if I don't watch! I'm like, alright, fine. Don't fucking watch. Just go. So I'm like, somehow I'm believing in some dumb superstition that she just made up 30

seconds ago. Like, if I don't watch, they'll do better. I'm like, bitch, get the fuck out the house then. Get the fuck. That was like, go. So she sits out on the patio because, well, really, when they completed the pass to get into field goal range, I'm like, that's when she goes, oh, my God, they made the kick when I wasn't watching before. Oh, my God, just should I go? Yes, Leave.

So I'm sitting on the bed watching the end of the Saints game. And I'm like, he's going to have enough leg. Is he going to make it, though? And, of course, he drills it. And when you get that angle, you know, between the goalposts, you watch that and you go, oh, it's going. It's going. It starts to drift a little bit. And it hits the upright.

And you're like, oh, God, just bounce in. And it hits the upright, then goes down and hits the fucking crossbar, and then falls out, and they lose. And I just let out this fucking visceral guttural, fuck you, fuck. And it's one of those things where in a in a movie like it would echo throughout the whole neighborhood you see birds start flying away and shit and i just laid there i'm like son of a fucking bitch and then i go back to the refs i'm like this shit wouldn't even been here if these cocksucking motherfucking refs didn't blow this shit and jilly comes back in and she says um you know just so you know, like the entire

neighborhood, like the dogs started barking in the neighborhood when you yelled. I'm like, fuck them dogs. I was so pissed. And it's just like that sports fandom. Cause I tell you guys this every day. Like there are a lot of days. I think I hate sports. You know what I mean? Like fans make me hate sports. Twitter makes me hate sports. There's just a lot of days I think I hate sports. You know what I mean? Like fans make me hate sports. Twitter makes me hate sports. There's just a lot of it that makes me hate the shit. But every time I tell myself, Josh, you're out,

you don't care anymore. Just don't pay attention. I get pulled right back in. It's like every time that, that, you know, Murtaugh tries to retire. I'm too old for this shit, but he gets pulled back in. It's like every time that Murtaugh tries to retire. I'm too old for this shit.

But he gets pulled back in. I'm just like that cop who gets pulled back in for one last case. That's me. Especially with the Saints. And now with LSU. Because when they lost to Florida State, I'm like, I'm out. They stink. Then they beat Southern. I'm like, oh cool, they beat

Southern. Then they went a couple in a row. They're 3-1. I'm like, okay. Then I'm like, oh, cool. They beat Southern. Then they went a couple in a row. They're 3-1. I'm like, okay. Then I'm like, all right, fuck it. Let's go beat Auburn. They're down 17-0. I'm livid. Like, what the fuck?

Then they come back and win, and I'm like, fuck, we're going to the championship. Got problems is what I'm telling you. Got real problems. And I wish I could quit it. It's like this I like like I like I do it with the Cardinals probably more so than anybody I try to get out and then one thing will happen it'll suck me back in and then I'll be yelling at the TV but yesterday the Saints thing was just like oh fuck fuck fuck fuck and that was kind of like that moment where, like, I've known it's pretty much over.

You know, like, you're not going to win a Super Bowl more than likely with a Jameis Winston, especially a hurt Jameis Winston. But you watch the way the offense is operating, and you're like, holy shit, they stink. That's another, by the way, Jameis is a solid one. If he ever comes back, Jameis is a great garbage passing yard. It's over guy because he's like, they're awful. And then their only offense they've had almost all year has been fourth quarter,

down two scores, run and shoot type stuff. So that one sucked for me yesterday. And it was an emotional roller coaster that I did not want because I just wanted to sleep through the game, wake up, and see what happened. That's all I wanted. Instead, I woke up right when the fucker started, and I lived all the emotions and the highs and the lows of that goddamn game. And it sucked.

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See terms at pick six dot draftkings.com slash promos anyway um texans are the only winless team in the league god like think about this so the whole world the texans universe if you will there was a lot of people who were really hyped up on this Davis Mills, the neck. And they're like, hey, I think this guy's got a shot. He ain't good. My favorite is the people that I see on social media, like Facebook and these Houston Texans groups that I'm somehow in or on Twitter. And these people are like, guys, listen, I'm just going to keep it real. Davis Mills ain't it. Yeah, no fucking shit, Chief. You're brilliant.

Congrats. Like, great observation on your part. The next sucks. He does. Defensively, they're okay, and they've got some players, but that ain't it, obviously. The only winless team in the NFL resides in Houston. And the only team without a loss resides in Philadelphia. Well, and Cooper Rush is also undefeated, for what it's worth.

Fucking McDougal's got to be on cloud nine, right? Old Dougie comes back, up 14-0 early, rut row, and then comes out. They gag the rest of the game. While we're talking about gambling and taking passing yardage overs, what did Hurts end up with? I know it was raining yesterday, and that played a factor, but Hurts ended up throwing for 204, so he wouldn't have hit his over. But keep this in mind.

Yesterday it was rainy and sloppy and gross, and that plays a factor. And Miles Sanders obviously goes for $1.34. Jalen Hurts is a guy that still doesn't get respect in terms of passing yardage. I don't know what his number will be in their next game, but it was in the 230s in this game. If it's in the 230s, I'm tempted to take him every time because this dude feels like he's going to throw for 300 every time out. So just from a gambling standpoint, solid play is over passing yards Jalen Hurts. Dude puts up numbers.

Now, I did lose with Jalen Hurts passing yards two weeks ago, but that was because I got in just a hair late on Jalen Hurts, and I got in when he was at the point he needed to get to 355 for it to hit. And it did hit, but they called an offensive penalty that called it back. But anyway, who was that against? The Vikings when they beat the hell out of the Vikings? Yeah, that was it. But you got an undefeated team in Philadelphia.

You got a winless team in Houston. Those are the opposite ends of the spectrum. There's your sports dichotomy. Like, God, yesterday. I was in one of those things where I just hated football. The Saints game. Am I wrong? Am I wrong in saying that you've got to be better at your fucking job and these refs need to be held accountable? Like, literally every human on the planet is held accountable.

The quarterback is held accountable. The coaches are held accountable. The doctor and the Tua thing who got fired is held accountable. The quarterback is held accountable. The coaches are held accountable. The doctor and the two-a-thing who got fired, held accountable. But these refs, it's just like, ah, you tried doing it. It's hard. Well, yeah, I'm sure it is. But you signed up for the fucking job and do it well. I thoroughly believe the Saints lost that fucking game because the refs were inept in

that moment. You can say, well, Josh, they had a chance to stop them. They did, and they fucked up, and they allowed them to move down the field and get in the field goal range to take the lead after they tied it. Yes, and that's a major part of the laws. But they would have gotten the ball back and maybe could have salted it away and won the damn game because the refs are inept. And at some point, they need to be held fucking accountable.

Like, remember in baseball? I don't know if this is still the case or not, because I just really haven't been to a baseball game. I've been to one major league game or two in the last, like, three years, and I haven't paid attention. But there was a point in time where they were not showing the replays in the stadium. They were, like, basically doing that to protect the umpires. It's like, why the fuck are you protecting these chodes? Like, if the first baseman drops a pop-up you'll show it 10 times why like if the ump if the ump blows a call show the fucker they

can make up for it and fix it but we protect officials way too much should have been you got to hold people accountable and they don't do that when it comes to those guys. So, fuck. Goddamn. Shitty loss, man. Can I tell you who I hate? Nick Sirianni. Help me understand, because I know, and this is not me attacking Philadelphia or anything, whatever.

By the way, the Cardinals are going to probably play the Phillies, and if there's a God in fucking heaven, the Cardinals will win that for multiple reasons. One, because my dad wants to go to the next playoff series in St. Louis Louis and is like, hey, I'll buy tickets. I'm like, fuck right, let's go. So I really need them to win that series. But two, I can't live with McDougal having joy. But I'll say this, and I don't understand it because I don't think this happens anywhere else. I know it doesn't happen in Nashville because I know that there's nobody pandering to Titans fans here and I don't see it in Houston like Davis Mills doesn't show up wearing an Earl Campbell jersey and a belt buckle and is like hi y'all

love you blue like it only happens in Philadelphia where everyone feels like they have to pander to the fans and I know that this is something I talk about a lot I get it you're probably like fuck Josh you talk about this all the time but it. You're probably like, fuck, Josh. You talk about this all the time. But it fascinates me. Like a week ago, like Sirianni's wearing a fucking Mike Quick jersey, right? And they're like, why are you wearing a Mike Quick jersey? Oh, I was a big fan growing up. Motherfucker was

drafted like the year you were born. I'm guessing like four-year-old Nick Sirianni, in an era where none of the games were really nationally televised, for the most part, was sitting there going, I love fucking Mike Quick, random receiver from the fucking Eagles. Give me a fucking break. It's like my dad, Jilly, actually asked me about this yesterday because she was looking at something that my dad had written. And she goes, do you believe that when your dad was four years old, he really just wanted to be the voice of Scooby-Doo?

I'm like, no. That's the fucking dumbest thing I've ever heard. But that's one of my dad's things he likes to wanted to be the voice of Scooby-Doo. I'm like, no, that's the fucking dumbest thing I've ever heard. But that's one of my dad's things he likes to go to. He goes to, yeah, when I was five, let me tell you, peak Scott Ennis. This is peak Scott Ennis. So dad won the Country Music Association Award, the CMA Award for medium market air personality of the year, right? And when he goes up to accept the award, first of all,

it's like right at the beginning of his Scooby run, and he's got this vest that he had made that has Scooby on it. So under his tux, he's got this Scooby vest. So he goes up there, opens up the jacket, and you see the – well, actually, rewind. He goes up there and says, man, you know, when I was a kid, a young kid growing up in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, I had a couple of dreams. You know, one of them was to become the voice of Scooby-Doo, which just recently, and then he opens up the jacket, like it's a big reveal and you see these Scoobies. He's like, which I just recently did thanks to Warner Brothers. Thanks, Tim McGraw.

And then he follows that with, and the other was to win a CMA award. And here I am, man. Dreams do come true. I'm like, dad, you're the biggest. You are so full of shit. You are full of shit. There's no way a five-year-old kid was sitting there like, man, let me tell you, if I could do two things in life, be the voice of Scooby-Doo and win this random country music association trophy. It's all I want in my life. My dad's full of shit. And I think he's

probably convinced himself of that over the years, and that's fine. Basically, what I just told you about my dad is what every coach and player has to do to appease Philadelphia fans all the time. That's why king of the pandering, actually, Nick Sirianni might overtake Bryce Harper. The two of them just need to fight to the death to see who can pander the most. And I guess Jason Kelsey to a degree, but I'd say the two biggest ones are Sirianni and Bryce Harper. The two of them just need to fight it out and say, listen, get off my fucking turf. I'm the panderer here. No motherfucker, I am. Well, what did you do? Well, I wore a Mike Quick jersey. What did you do? I got the panderer here. No, motherfucker, I am. Well, what did you do? Well, I wore a Mike Quick jersey. What did you do?

I got the fucking Philly Fanatic on my cleats. Oh, really? Well, what did you do? Well, I wore an Iverson shirt. Oh, really, Chief? Well, guess what I did? I fucked Allen Iverson. Ha!

But it's weird because that doesn't happen anywhere else. Like, I don't think that, like, coaches, and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think coaches go into New York and they're like, first of all, let me tell you how great the fans are. I've got my Roger Marish jersey on. And, oh, don't, by the way, the fucking Aaron Judge stuff. Who gives a fuck if the guy hits 62 home runs? The record would be 74. Congrats, you're 12 behind, Chief.

And the Marish family, what a bunch of whiny dopes. Okay, that might be a different one for a different day. But yes, like in New York, I don't think that they go, who's your favorite? Man, let me tell you about, I'm going to tell you, let me tell you something, man. My favorite basketball player of all time is Patrick Ewing. Sir, why are you at a football press conference wearing a Patrick Ewing jersey?

Grew up watching him. Fucking love him. He's a man. Like, nobody does that in any other city but Philly. And it reminds me of when I got the job in Philly and Andy was like, well, here's a list of things that you're going to have to believe for these people to like you. I'm like, what? He's like, oh, yeah. These are things like these are going to have to be your opinions or people in this town will just eat you alive. And I'm like, well, I don't give

a shit about the Cowboys. Why do I have to act like I hate them? Well, because everybody here hates them. You have to hate Tony Romo. You have to hate Troy Aikman. You have to hate Joe Buck. You have to hate the Cowboys. You have to hate like, like, but I just don't give a shit about any of these things. Why do I have to hate them? Why do I have to pander to people? Like, it's what you have to do. Sorry, Josh. It's what you have to do. I'm like, oh, fuck.

Anyway, so I'm going to try to do another one today. Not sure if I will or not be able to get to it. Don't know because, again, busy stuff. But anyway, you guys are great. I love you. We'll see you later.