The Josh Innes Show - JIS and Wake Up: Recovering From A Miserable Weekend

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Well, it's Monday. It was a miserable sports weekend for me. I also consumed too much booze and I'm feeling it a bit today. I'm saddened that the Cardinals lost. It's not just a sports thing. I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my dad. Ya know, we don't have a bad relationship, but we don't have too many memorable sports moments together. This could have been one of them. On the other hand, we both probably would have been on our phones the whole time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Josh Ennis Show. Well, howdy everybody and welcome in to the Josh Ennis Show after a miserable weekend for me. Just terrible. Made only slightly better by the fact that this morning Battle brought up some sort of tequila from, what is that, Cancun you said? Cancun, Mexico. It's really, like it tasted so. It didn't taste like tequila. It was almost sweet and tasted like coconutty, and it was delicious. But it's not that strong, but maybe it sneaks up on you.

Maybe it doesn't. I don't know. But it was very, very good. Yes, it is. And I would like more of it. You want? I'll pour you a cup. Fill her up. When I say fill her up, it was. And I would like more of it. You want? I'll pour you a cup. Fill her up.

When I say fill her up, it was a long weekend. Give me one more shot of that. Let me, oh. There you go. Oh, yeah, that is. It smells so good. It is. That's the thing.

Like, it smells more. Here's what this smells like to me, okay? It smells like Sammy's Beach Bar Rum to me. Like, as a big fan of Sammy's Beach Bar Rum, that's what this tastes like. It does not taste like tequila to me. When I was doing the sampling, I was like, are you sure that's tequila? It's unbelievable how easy this goes down. It almost tastes like a Coke.

Yeah. It's unbelievable how good this tastes. Smooth, and even when you burp it up, it doesn't have that tequila burp to it. It's so good. Coconutty, vanilla, yeah. It is truly the best alcohol I have ever consumed, and it's probably because it's barely alcohol. It's only 18%, so it's 36 proof. So just to put that into comparison, the other things I normally shoot, like, let's

see, if I were to shoot- Well, look up there on one of those bottles. Okay, let's see. What is Santo? Well, Santo's only 40%. So, just a little bit- Hold on, hold on. That's 40%, which would mean it's what, 80?

Oh, it's 80 proof. So, that's 36 proof. That's 80 proof. I mean, that's like drinking Sodi Pop. It pretty much is. But it's really good. I like it. I'll have to bring the other one tomorrow, because the other one's pretty brutal. Well, we'll do that tomorrow, then. Yeah pretty much is. But it's really good. I'll have to bring the other one tomorrow because

the other one's pretty brutal. We'll do that tomorrow then. Well, nice talking to you, Battle. I have to communicate with my listeners now on my podcast. Thank you. People have been leaving messages on the talkback. I made the mistake of posting the link for that and a lot of people have left

messages. I have not heard any of them. You will hear them as I hear them, but my guess is, if I had to guess, these are going to be really unpleasant, and I would guess that most of them are coming from Philly people, if I had to guess. I know I did the drunk pod last night. I have no idea how that sounded. I was really bombed last night. Before I could blink an eye, I already had five or six of these Luke Bryan beers. So I have no idea what we talked about last night. Somehow I got it uploaded, though.

I rule. I function very well drunk for whatever reason. But it was not a good weekend for me with the Cardinals losing and LSU losing and, hey, the Saints won, so I got that. But now I've got about eight or nine messages from people here, and I'm going to guess that most of them are Philly people because Houston people aren't big message leavers. But I assume it's going to be mostly Philly people talking mad shit. And if you ever want to leave messages, I've posted how to do it. It's very simple. Use the iHeartRadio app, search for the Josh Ennis Show, and then hit that little microphone and leave a message.

So I'm going to start them from the earliest. I got one at 7.35 this morning. Here we go. Hi, is this the Josh Ennis Show? Am I on the air? Excellent. All right, well, that was nice. Off to a good start. Get your head out of that drainage ditch. It's the Josh Innes Show. Well, now I feel like I've made a mistake. Hi, I'd like to order the deep dish Josh Innes special extra large with double pepperoni. Thanks.

Well, the first three of, I think we have seven messages left on here. This might be a mistake on my part. Go Phillies! Well, there's that. I don't want anybody else when I think about Josh Innes. I touch myself. Oh. Thank you. Anybody else, when I think about Josh Innes, I touch myself. Thank you.

Hey, Josh, it's Mikey, the general manager at the Texas Roadhouse on Baltimore Pike. I miss you, buddy. Over and out. Now, if that really was the manager of the Texas Roadhouse on Baltimore Pike, that was a wonderful, wonderful Texas Roadhouse. And the steak was always cooked well. They were very nice. It was a pain in the ass to get to it.

But if that's the case, that is lovely. And if you really are Mikey from Baltimore Pike and all that, hey, I love you. Josh, it's Brad Hall. Man, had a good week, good time in Baton Rouge. So just wanted to let you know. Sorry for bugging you so much about the trip. But, you know, I just wanted to experience everything the city had to offer and had a good time. So try not to bother you now. I know you're going through a rough one, but definitely go check out Knoxville for the Alabama game.

You won't regret it. All right, peace. Well, here's what I've contemplated with that is I've contemplated just going to Knoxville. Did I already tell you guys there's a strong possibility that Jilly and I talked about this last night? I have no idea. But I would like to go to Knoxville because it's a cool little town and just kind of feel the vibe of the city because it's going to be – it's arguably the biggest football game that's been played this year so far. So I'm down for it, and I'd like to check it out. But then I've got to find a hotel and everything else, so you know how it is.

But anyway, boy. See, that was a good tequila because, again, it doesn't taste like tequila, but it does leave kind of an aftertaste. It kind of dries me out a little bit. So anyway, so football this weekend. I fell asleep before the end of the game last night, so I didn't even see how it ended. I had to see this morning what the score was, so I didn't see that. Also, I'm just kind of going to go through some of these. First of all, I think the Eagles are very good, and I think the Eagles have, I mean, look, it's five games in, so who knows who's

going to win the Super Bowl five games in, but they certainly look good. I think they were to a degree gifted that one yesterday by Moron, by what's his name, Sliding, well short of the first down. Like, what are you doing, man? Like? Kyler, what are you doing? But the Eagles are very good. They're solid. It is fun that the Mets lost. The Mets are fascinating because they're worthless. Every year it's all hype for the Mets and then they collapse

so they're out. And we thought the Phillies would do that too, but they were able to stay around, hang around. Now they get to take on Atlanta. Other stuff, just going down through some of the stuff that's going on in the world today. Have you seen the video of the guy that looks like he's getting jerked off on the sideline for the Giants? I'm sure that most of you have seen this video. It's on the station, Graham, if you're interested.

If you haven't seen it, just 105.9 The Rock on the Graham. And feel free to follow on the Graham as well. It makes me look good. But the video is spectacular. So this dude that plays for the Giants is getting his leg rubbed. And it's weird because he's got his pants kind of down and you can see his ass. Just kind of out there for the world to see. And he's getting his leg rubbed by the trainer.

But from behind, it looks like he's getting jerked off by the trainer, and it's spectacular. Like, just lovely. So if you haven't seen that, it's very good. But just in terms of football-wise, you look back at a couple of the games from the weekend and you go, okay, which ones stand out? Brady getting bailed out stands out. That should not have been a roughing the passer call. They should have given the ball back to Atlanta and maybe Atlanta wins that game. Maybe they don't, but that's bullshit. And you start to look at

player safety. And this kind of goes to that point that I was making last week about player safety. And all these former players and current players and media people love to rush to social media and tell you, oh my God, this game is so dangerous and we got to make the game safer for people. And they're the same people that will bitch about that call that you saw yesterday. The reason why they call these on quarterbacks is because people constantly bitch about how the game is too violent. It's too dangerous. We have to protect these guys.

Then that's what you get. That is the world that has been created by two things, by the NFL lying about concussions forever and because people on social media and former players all get together and say, oh my God, the game's gotten so soft. Like it's like this weird hypocrisy, right? On one hand, you get the people who yell it's so soft, right? And I guarantee you yesterday, everybody on social media said that. I'm too drunk to remember what they said, but I'm telling you, everybody on social media

was probably just blown away by that, and the league is soft, and put flags on them, all that other shit, right? But those are the same people that say the players need to be protected from themselves, right? Can't have it both ways. You're hypocrites. Oh, we must protect these players. You can't just pick and choose.

So the reason why, what you see when those things are called is a direct result of stuff that you see with, say, Tua a couple weeks ago. What you end up getting from that is the league has to overreact to things, and because of that, A, they want to protect their quarterbacks, which makes sense, but B, you have to make sure that you have put just a bubble wrap on these guys because you get this blowback from people that the game is too dangerous and we're not protecting players from themselves. So I guarantee you the same football players, former and current, that were on social media during Tua's shit and said, we need to protect these guys, are the same ones that said, put flags on them yesterday. It's a shitty call. It's awful.

And there's a lot of these things that are like this throughout football in general, not just pro football, but football in general. You go to the college game. Dudes get tossed for a targeting. They miss the first half of the next game. Total bullshit. These are things that at times you can't help. Helmets collide.

It's a violent game. It's a physical game. Guys should not be kicked out of the game for a helmet-to-helmet because it obviously isn't stopping the helmet-on-helmet penalties. They still happen, and every week someone's getting tossed out of a game, and they're getting taken out of another game for something that was not malicious. Or if you want to get technical, it is because all tackles are malicious when it comes to intent because it's a violent game.

But ultimately what it comes down to in all of this is that you get that play that you got from the Brady game yesterday and the Brady call, and that is a product of people who constantly whine about how dangerous the game is and in the same, out of the other side of their mouth, bitch about how the game has gone soft. Hey, at least the Texans got a win yesterday. Look at them. Jaguars are who we thought they were. They're still the Jaguars.

You got, let's see, Minnesota. They were able to hold on against Chicago. Chicago's terrible anyway. Detroit. So I'm on the radio in Detroit. I do a morning show in Detroit as well as Memphis and Nashville. So when I started there, like all offseason, it's been, hey, we don't think these are the same old Lions and we like the coach. And I think these players want to play for this coach,

and I'm excited. We're all excited. You know what? Over, under, six and a half wins. I think they're getting to eight wins, everybody in town. They're all excited about it. And now reality sets in that they are the same old Lions, that they are just dog shit. The organization is dog shit, and it will never be great.

And, I mean, 29 nil is gross. All right. If you're ready to win some real cash during the basketball playoffs, you got to check out pick six from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball payouts, DraftKings pick six posterizes the competition, including price picks. It's a very simple concept. Hit all your picks and score higher minimum payouts on pick six, plus even more cash if you outscore the competition. Pick six is available in most states, including Missouri, California, Texas, Georgia, and more, and I absolutely love it. Look, every night we're going to be having playoff basketball, every night. So when you're sitting around and you might not have interest in a particular game, let's

say you're a fan of a particular team, they're not playing that night, here's how you make it a little bit more fun for the other games. Build a little lineup there with Pick 6. It's really great. Me and my wife do it all the time, so make sure you do it. And new players get 50 in Pick 6 credits instantly on just a $5 entry. Download the DraftKings Pick 6 app now and use code INNES, that's my name, I-N-N-E-S, for new customers to play.

$5, get 50 in Pick 6 credits, better payouts, bigger wins, only with Pick 6 from DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut. Must be 18+. Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction.

Pick 6 not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Voidware prohibited. One per new customer. Bonus award. It is non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. At least the Saints won yesterday.

They stink, but at least they got a win. I needed something. You know, I needed something yesterday to look at and go, you know what? Good. At least this fucking happened. Because, I mean, what a disaster of a weekend. And I've gotten over it. Like, I'm over the Cardinals shit.

Like, the bigger issue I have, there are two issues that I have with the Cardinals thing. One, it was to the Phillies. You know, I fucking hate the Philly people most. And also, I want to take a step back for a second because I'm bipolar when it comes to this. Like, I don't hate all of you. I get angry during this shit and I say a bunch of shit. I don't hate all of you. Most I do. Like the vast majority I do. But there's a bunch of people that I genuinely like. And I think that you like me and that's fine. We have a fine relationship together and that's fine.

But it was the fact that it was Philly, that was an issue. And it was the fact that I miss out on going to the ballgame with my dad. And I'm not trying to go all cats in the cradle on you, but it's not like me and my dad have had the opportunity to go to a lot of ballgames together in the past. My dad and I are not go-to-the-ballgames-together father and son. Not really our thing. When I look back on my childhood, the first thing I think about is, hey, I went to more ballgames with people who were not my dad than my dad.

I can probably count on one hand the times I've been in a football stadium or any venue for anything with my dad other than going to the movies. I can think of one Major League Baseball game I went to with my dad in St. Louis when I was about 10. I can think of another baseball game I went to with my dad and one of my best friends. We drove to Houston back in 2007, I think, and saw a couple of games in Houston. And that's it. I don't remember ever going to another ballpark with my dad. Football-wise, he and I have been to two football games together ever. One of them was a preseason football game in the Dome when I was about 10 or 11. The Chiefs were playing the Saints. And all I remember about that game is there was nobody there, and my dad went down towards the sideline to try to get the attention of a random player

to come over and shake my hand. It was some random punter, and he finally did. My dad just constantly, hey, bud? Hey, bud? Hey, bud? Until the guy said, fuck, okay. And he comes over and shakes my hand. And then the other time my dad and I went to a football game,

the Saints played the Bengals, and I think it was one of those rare games where Breeze threw like four interceptions and they lost to the Bengals. And that's the extent of my, I've never been to, you know, concerts even. Like the only concerts I've been to with my dad are the ones that he puts on. Other than he did go see Cher with me when nobody else would, like the fourth time I saw Cher. He and I sat in the upper deck of the River Center in Baton Rouge and watched Cher. And we might have seen Billy Joel together, too. And we might have gone to see Journey and Night Ranger together. But me and my dad are not the, hey, we do a lot together in terms of memorable events.

We went to the movies a lot when I was a kid. That was kind of our thing. I was like my dad's movie buddy. So we would go see movies, and it would be like, hey, we're watching, you know, let's go see Angels in the Outfield. Or we'd also go see a lot of rated R movies. My favorite, and I'm sure I've told you this story before, but deal with it. My dad and I went to see something about Mary. It's a packed house. I mean, just full of people. And it's the scene where he jerks off and then she sees it dangling from his ear and goes, oh, is that hair gel? She grabs it and puts it in her hair.

And then the next shot, her hair is sticking straight up and it's fucking brilliant. All I remember is looking at my dad, and I would have been like 12 at the time. And I go, dad, what's in her hair? And I just kept asking. And eventually he goes, goddammit, Josh, it's cum, Josh. That's all I remember. Josh, Josh, Josh, it's cum. Jesus. And that was it. Like, that's the, Josh. That's all I remember. Josh, Josh, Josh. It's come. Jesus.

And that was it. That's the kind of relationship I had with my dad. So you can imagine my surprise when my dad calls and he's like, hey, are the Cardinals going to be playing in St. Louis on the 15th? And I look it up and I say, well, there's a chance they could be playing in St. Louis on the 15th. Why do you ask? Well, I'm going to be driving through there. And how about you drive over? I'll buy the tickets, and we can go see

a ballgame. Me, you, Jilly, and he's got his buddy that rides with him, Tony, and we can go. I go, really? You really want to go to a ballgame? Like, the only experiences I've ever had at ballgames with my dad are just him plotting when to leave early. That's the only thing I got. So, my surprise when dad

calls and says, hey, I want to go to a ballgame. I'm like, fuck yeah. Sounds good to me. And that was really, and again, I'm not trying to go all cats in the cradle on you here. I'm not trying to get emotional on you here. I'm not trying to play a sympathy thing here, right? I've had a good childhood, a good life. I don't hate my dad.

We don't have bad problems as far as I know. Although, who knows? We might have bigger problems than I know of of and that's why I'm fucked up. That's also very possible. But when I look back on that, I go, this was an opportunity to have a moment with my father. And that has been stripped

away from me because the assholes Paul Goldschmidt and Nolan Arenado and all these other dickheads can't get a single goddamn big hit in that game. Thank you. Appreciate that. Thanks, Harry Chapin.

I do not view my life as a Cats in the Cradle scenario, just so you know. There were planes to catch and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was away. view my life as a cats in the cradle scenario, just so you know. Now some of you may view that, because a lot of you grew up going to ball games with your dad. I didn't grow up going to ball games with my dad. I grew up going to my dad's mistress' house and sitting on the couch while my dad was pounding some chick. That's what I did. That was

my childhood. My childhood was on the way home. Hey, let's not tell your mom we were at such and such's house, okay? Cool beans, dad. Sounds good. You know, I've never asked him if I ever did ever say anything. I wonder if I ever did. Or am I a good soldier?

Might be a good soldier. But anyway, that's what our relationship was. We'd go to the movies and he would go hook up with some chick at some random house And I'd be there with him That was like the extent of our bonding But I never felt like my dad ignored me or anything Like we had a good relationship

But we were not a go-to-ball-games-together father and son And a lot of the stuff we did was almost begrudgingly Like, hey dad, you want to go have a catch? All right It was kind of like that But again, I don't hate my dad I love my dad very much A lot of the stuff we did was almost begrudgingly. Like, hey, Dad, you want to go have a catch? All right. It was kind of like that. But again, I don't hate my dad. I love my dad very much.

We have a very good relationship. But it would have been a special moment for he and I and my wife to go to a playoff ball game together and experience that in St. Louis, a place that he used to go to ball games all the time. It would have been a nice moment. And it was stripped away from me from those son of a bitch asshole Phillies and Nolan Arenado and Paul Goldshit and their inability to get any big hits ever. Fuck them. Ruining my time. I deserve better. You sons of bitches.

You ruined it for me. If me and my dad ever do have a falling out, I'm going to look back on it and I'm going to blame Nolan Arenado and Paul fucking Goldshit. Certainly deserved a better fate than that. But now the only thing I can take joy from is hoping that the Braves win. That is my new favorite team.

The Braves and the Astros, of course. It's funny. People act like I've not rooted for the Braves or rather the Astros in the past, which I have. I grew up watching the Astros games. I lived in Baton Rouge. Those were the games that we got on TV. So that's what I watched I watched the Braves and I grew up watching Bill Worrell call the Astros games

I grew up watching Bill Brown and Jim Deshaies, that's what I grew up with Because that's the games we got on TV We didn't have all the baseball games, we had the Astros That's what I watched So I've always had a spot For the Astros there and then all these Philly Jamokes who think that I'm just Rooting for teams because I dislike their team So I've always had a spot for the Astros there And then like all these Philly jamokes

Who think that like I'm just rooting for teams Because I dislike their team Which the Braves I am rooting for because I hate them But the Astros that's just because Like I think people have a hard time grasping What it's like being someone that has to move from town to town And still try to build a relationship With listeners in a city

And it's not like I'm on a rock station in all these places either Where I can just say hey go team and no one gives a shit I'm on a rock station in all these places either where I can just say, hey, go team, and no one gives a shit. I'm on a sports station where every fucking day I have to talk about these teams and act like I have some level of interest in them. It's not an easy gig. I'd like to just go in there and just say, fuck it, these are my teams. Hey, if your teams win, great, but if not, fuck you, here's some thoughts. But instead you have to go in and kind of give them the old razzle-dazzle

and you have to wear the shirts and the jerseys and say, hey, I'm glad to be here. Some buy it, some don't. You know, it is what it is. But I don't know what to tell you. I'm rooting for the Braves. I'm rooting for the Braves and the Astros. Although, I would acknowledge that it would, in a way,

almost be funny if the Mariners beat the Astros. I feel like the Astros haven't played a meaningful baseball game in five months. Like, I forgot they even played baseball. I haven't watched any games, really, in the last two months because none of the games have mattered. And then, boom, Tuesday, game matters. But I don't want them to lose. I'm just saying it would be something, not even poetic, even. It's not really a poetic thing, but it's not poetic at all.

I just hope they win. That was my hope for them. Yeah, so that's why I'm more upset today. I had an opportunity to have a bonding moment with my dad, and it was stripped away from me. And you guys all know what it's like to want to have a bonding moment with your dad. You all sports sports bring parents together and kids together, except not mine. It does not bring my parents and my relationship with my parents together. My mom, she enjoys when LSU loses because she roots for Arkansas.

So she really enjoys it. Like, I'll get a text, hey, Arkansas is rallying. Speaking of, we told you a while back that we were going to go to Arkansas to see LSU play the hogs on like November 12th. And I was so furious during the LSU game. After the guy drops the opening kickoff, I turned the fucking game off. And I just, then Jilly got all pissed. She's like, I want to watch the game. I said, then you watch the fucker. I'm going to sit in this other room and sulk. Cause like that very moment, I'm like, they're not winning there. It's hopeless. But she goes, I guess you don't want to go to Arkansas anymore. I said, no, fuck it.

I do want to go to Arkansas. Because at the moment, Arkansas was also just getting their asses kicked. And I'm like, you know what? This is good. It's two shitty teams. We might win that shit. We're going to Arkansas. Go Hogs.

So fuck it. We're going to go stay in that bed and breakfast, and we're going to go to that damn game. And it's going to be an enjoyable experience, damn it. I get annoyed when fans make a big deal out of visiting fans being in a stadium, right? These Tennessee people, oh, we took over Tiger Stadium. Well, you took over Tiger Stadium for a couple reasons. One, people don't want to fucking go to a stupid game at 11 o'clock in the morning. That's just not what Baton Rouge is. I do think LSU people are spoiled. They're spoiled in the sense that for basically the last two decades, it's been the best two decades of football LSU's ever had. So you get a little bit spoiled and you don't go to as many

games anymore and the passion's not there like it once was. You have to be really good to get people's attention. I think there's an element of that. I think Astros fans are spoiled. I think you can see that based on the way people comment on posts and shit on the internet. People get spoiled. Six years of being great, and the Astros haven't played a meaningful baseball game in two months, if not longer. People get spoiled when your team is good. It just happens that way. And I think LSU fans have gotten very spoiled. So it's not shocking that Tennessee, who sucked for a decade and a half, if not more, almost two decades they've sucked. They've been mediocre for some of it, mostly sucked.

So it's not shocking that in a year that they think they actually have a competitive team that could win some big games, that they would invade Baton Rouge. It's not shocking. People love to swing their dicks around like, we invaded! Good for you. Like, who gives a shit? As if they're the only fans that have ever gone to a road game. But, oh, we've invaded New Orleans. Cool.

LSU plays in Baton Rouge. Who gives a fuck what you did in New Orleans? Anyway. All right, then. On that note, I'm going to get out of here. So you got the one from last night, the pod from last night, if you didn't hear it. You can check that out. And appreciate you for checking this out.

And I will see you later.