The Josh Innes Show - JIS and Wake Up: Tom Petty and a Random Grandma Story

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Hello Friends! I hope your Monday is going well. When I started this pod, I had every intention of talking about the Eagles, Phillies, Fans and the Astros. As it turns out, I talked about how much I hate Joe Tessitore, crappy Tom Petty puns and my grandma. I will get another pod out shortly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Josh Ennis Show. Howdy everybody and welcome in Josh Ennis Show Monday. Recording this at about 9.20ish. Again, my goal is to get two or three of these out a day. Some days it happens, some days it doesn't. Probably talk with Jilly later today. Obviously there was, I guess you could call it big news out of Houston with Easter being

whacked and Astros getting ready for the LCS. So if you're a Houston person I think maybe later might be beneficial to you. Because honestly nothing Houston related happened yesterday. It wasn't really a big Houston day. But

glad you're with us here on the pod. Big football day. Big football weekend. Can I tell you something that really annoyed the shit out of me this weekend? I got other shit to get into. This isn't going to be the only thing. So I'm watching Florida and LSU and I

like Tom Petty. Let's start there. I like Tom Petty. I have to play a shitload of Tom Petty. Although I don't play nearly as much Tom Petty as I used to. When I got here doing rock radio, it was nothing but Tom Petty, like every other song. Now we play like I Won't Back Down and a couple others, Free Fallin'. But we played a lot of Tom Petty when I got here. Like we were going kind of deeper into it. Played a lot of You Don't Know How It Feels and You're So Bad and You Wreck, baby. A lot of 90s Tom Petty, refugee. We played a bunch of it.

Now we don't do that as much. We don't play as much Tom Petty, but Tom Petty kind of kicks ass. Well, Tom Petty apparently is from Gainesville, Florida, and it was Tom Petty Day at the Florida game on Saturday when LSU played there. Okay, fine. I get it. And they do a very cool thing where in unison they all sing I Won't Back Down between the third and fourth quarter,

which is a very cool thing. Not too many stadiums sound that good in unison singing a song. It's really cool. The problem I had is that the whole damn broadcast was about this Tom Petty day at the Florida game. Did you guys know that Tom Petty's from here? And then this dickhead. Oh, my God.

Can I tell you, I just really, really, really dislike Joe Tessitore. He's just bad, and he talks too much, and he doesn't know how to let a moment be a moment, and he's hokey, and I really despise him. During the game, he kept making references to Tom Petty, which is fine. He tried the Tom Petty pun game. He's trying to work in puns. The problem is he only did one pun, one song, and that song was I Won't Back Down.

And I think the Eagles people sang I Won't Back Down last night at the game and it sounded cool. I mean, it's a great song. But all he could do pun-wise was work in I Won't back down last night at the game and it sounded cool. I mean, it's a great song, but all he could do pun wise was work in. I won't back down. So it's not like he went to all the, the, the Tom Petty hits and tried to get clever with it. And there's a ton of them.

Like there was a point in the game where some jamoke jumped over another jamoke. You know what he could have said, man, he's learning to fly. Tom Petty pun. And I would accept that Tom Petty pun because it's different than the fucking the won't back down pun. You're so bad. Boy, Florida's lost their third game on the year. Let me tell you something. They're free

falling, guys. See, that would work. But every time they made a play, it was just, I won't back down. Florida comes out to fourth quarter, down by 21. They bust a big touchdown run to cut it to 14. Oh my God, they won't back down! There's so many. It could have been a situation where

LSU was in trouble. LSU was about to give the ball up at one point in the game, and you know what happened? They got a, I think there was a roughing the pass or something that extended a drive or a pass interference. You know what you could have said there? You got lucky, babe. You got lucky, babe.

But you know what? They didn't do that because they're not clever. All they kept going back to was, I won't back down. So many Tom Petty songs. Into the great. Oh, my God, that's an easy one. When the guy busts the 80-yard run. He's into the great wide open.

God, that would have worked perfectly. Or like breakdown. Breakdown. Like when they show a shot of the coach yelling at the, I forgot, there was a shot at one point of somebody yelling at like a ref or something. My God, he's in the middle of a breakdown. Go ahead and give it to him. God, there's so many. Or it could have been a situation.

Like there's so many. You could have had like a call overturned on the field. Oh, there's Brian Kelly saying, don't do me like that. It's easy. Or they're waiting for the results of a call on a challenge. You know, the waiting is the hardest part. Boom! Guy busts a big run.

Oh, my God, he's running down a dream. Anything. All of those things would have been acceptable. But all they had was the damn won't back down puns. I'm not a big fan of puns anyway. Puns are very hacky. And if you're going to do puns, you have to make sure you let everybody know that you know you're being hacky. It's kind of like with a wink and a nod. You got to say, yep, I know I'm being hacky, so I accept it. Oh boy, I guess he's running down a dream, wink, wink.

So you got to do that. You got to let people know that you know you're being hacky. But every play, they won't back down here. Who was doing the game with Greg McElroy? That's just doof. Oh, my. Let me tell you something, Greg. They won't back down.

They won't back down, Greg. Just give me something. You wreck me. You something, Greg. They won't back down. They won't back down, Greg. Just give me something. You wreck me. You're so bad. The waiting is the anything. And that really annoyed me. But at least LSU kicked their ass. And that's a positive.

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One per new customer. Bonus award. It is non-withdrawable Pick 6 credits that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. Also, so there's a bunch of stuff I need to get into throughout these pods today. I mean, I watched the Tennessee over the weekend. It was great.

And I enjoyed watching them win. I also find it comical that their athletic department sent out a message to everybody on Twitter to let them know that they can donate to help pay for new goalposts, which might possibly be the most pathetic thing an athletic department's ever done. Hey, guys, listen, I know that we encouraged you guys to get wild and celebrate this win, but now that you've done it, we need new goalposts for the game on Saturday. Can you donate money? And some schmucks have donated a combined $75,000 for that. These athletic departments have hundreds of millions of dollars. Did these guys actually technically go out and commit a crime? Sure, they ran on the field. They expected them to run on

the field. They tore down the goalpost. Nobody stopped them from doing it. They grabbed the goalpost, they carried them out of the stadium, down the street, threw it in the river, great moment, fun, fun. The part that I think bothers me more than the dopey athletic department asking for money when they've got hundreds of millions of dollars and they pay coaches like Tennessee at one point, all the money they're paying in buyouts and for coach's salary, you mean to tell me you don't have a hundred thousand fucking dollars to put up some new goalposts. And then they put the onus on the day. Like the part that really annoyed me was their message when their message said something along the lines of, well, guys, we need goalposts to play a game on Saturday, so make sure you donate.

But what bothers me more than them being schmucks asking for money when they've got hundreds of millions of dollars in their coffers, what bothers me more than that is the fact that people actually did it. And it's one thing if it's like big money boosters, like they go to Peyton and Peyton's like, fuck it, here's $100,000. Or hey, here's Kenny Chesney, here's $100,000. Or Dolly Parton says, hey, y'all, I'll just pay for it, whatever. But there's probably some schmuck-ass dudes that work a 9-to-5 and they just love Tennessee and they're like, oh, hell, the athletic department asked me for some money. So here you go.

That part annoys me. And over 1,800 people have done that, and they've got over $75,000 last time I checked. I think the goal is $150,000. But what a bunch of schmucks. These athletic departments, they don't have to pay the players, so they basically get slave labor if we're being technical. Are they slaves? No. But are they indentured servants? I think that's probably a more accurate depiction of what these guys are. They can go out and make some money, obviously, but they're not getting paid directly for their services. So you're not paying anything there.

Oh, but we have to pay for education. Not really. They just go to the school. It's fine. All this. And you're going to come out here and be like, hey, guys, listen, I know you guys had a blast, and it was the best moment we've had in Tennessee football in 25 years. Could be a franchise-altering moment. We slayed the Dragon. We beat Nick Saban. We did all this. What a moment.

But listen, I'm going to really need you guys to pony up to help pay for the goalposts. And the thing about the tweet is it was very condescending. Let me find the exact tweet for you because the tweet was super condescending. Let me see here. It was, let's see, the exact quote from them was, sorry, I have to scroll back now because I got retweets with a fight with McDougals that I'll explain here in a second. All right, here you go. Y'all remember how we tore down the goalpost, hauled them out of Neyland, and dumped them in the Tennessee River?

Yeah, that was awesome. Anywho, turns out that in order to play next week's game, we need goalposts on our field. Could y'all help us out? I would tell them to fuck off. But evidently, people have not done that because they are now at $79,000, which is 52% of what they need. Also, an interesting thing here is, so they need their goalposts. There's 14 days remaining on this. Yet I'm fairly certain that they play this weekend against Tennessee Martin.

So obviously somebody's buying those goalposts. You can donate $16 since it's been 16 seasons since the Vols beat Alabama. Or you can give $52.49 because that was the final score of this breathtaking game. Or $25 or $100 or $250 or $500. Or $1,019.15, the capacity of the sold-out Neyland Stadium. And 2,056 people have donated. So what's that on average? So there's 2,056.

So let's go just $79,000. $79,000. Okay, divided by, what did I say, $2,056. Let me check one more time. By $2,056. All right, let's see what that ends up being per person. $38. My ass wouldn't be giving no $38 fucking dollars to no college saying,

hey, well, sorry we ruined your goalpost, Lieutenant Dan. And then, no, you encourage it. I saw a video of their athletic director, and they were filming him as the game was ending, and there's all these people rushing the field. Like, how much do you think you're going to have to pay for this? And he goes, hell, I don't care. I do it every year.

Well, yeah, of course he doesn't care. They're trying to get these dopey kids to foot the bill and these dopey fans to foot the bill. Of course he doesn't give a shit. But that game was awesome, wasn't it? I'm not like a Tennessee fan or anything. I live here. Here's the thing. The Tennessee people have never done anything to me. My grandma would say pretty frequently,

hell, son, they never done nothing to me. They never did me dirty. Which my grandma's logic was always interesting when it came. My grandma was great because she would always say, oh, son, they never done nothing to me. They never did me dirty. Which my grandma's logic was always interesting when it came. My grandma was great because she would always say, oh, son, they never did me dirty. But my dad, who my grandma loved, by the way, and my dad is not my grandma's son. I mean, they have not been related by marriage 25 years. But my grandma loved my dad. And I think it's because dad was always nice and gave her money and stuff.

So how do you not like someone that gives you money? But grandma's logic on why she doesn't hate my dad is great. Because remember, my dad fucked around on my wife. What a Pornhub search that is. Dad fucks around with son's wife. And I've probably watched it. But anyway, so my dad, who obviously stepped out on my mom and she might've stepped out on him. It was a whole thing. But I remember one time asking my grandma, like,

why don't you dislike dad? She goes, Oh hell son. He didn't do me. No, he didn't do me nothing. Shit. He, uh, shit. I can't just start disliking people. Cause he and my daughter bust up. I said, that's an interesting angle, especially because if you did cross my grandma, she would fuck your day up. Like she would hate you forever. Like there was no coming back from my grandma hating you, by the way. Like we had these family members. I know I'm kind of off subject here, but we had these family members and we called her

Aunt Linda. She was just a large woman. She's got to be dead now. I'd imagine she is. This was 20 some odd years ago. And I don't know how that she was just a large woman. She's got to be dead now. I'd imagine she is. This was 20 some odd years ago. And I don't know how that she was related to my grandma. I think she was married to my grandma's nephew. So I guess we'd be cousins by marriage, maybe. And we'd go over to their house when I lived with my grandma. And they lived in house, like there was a downtown Poplar Bluff that was, you know, it was falling apart, but we'd go to their house and we would play cards or dice, but mostly cards. They had these different games. My grandma would play. I really

have no idea how to play them, but I would go and hang out with grandma and they play cards all night. Then I'll shit some, we got to go. We get into grandma's car, go home. But we would always go over there and we play cards with these folks with this morbidly obese woman who has to be dead with her husband who has to be dead and who knows maybe their kids are dead too i don't know but i'm fairly certain it was my grandma's nephew who was married to this woman anywho so grandma would go to their house they'd be all nice and they'd play cards and grandma'd be all friendly and then we'd be on the way home and she just like i remember i'm like 10 11 and she just started telling me about how shitty of people they are. She goes, you know, son, they ain't no good. Damn government's out to get them anyway. They ain't no count. Everything they

got to give to them. That's one of my grandma's favorite things. She used to say, son, everything they got's been give to them. You know, my grandma, who I'm fairly certain mooched off the government forever and used her government money to buy lottery tickets and evaded paying rent and everything else. My grandma, now, granted, my grandma worked. I mean, she wasn't a lazy person, to be clear about my grandma. I mean, she worked at the Army Corps of Engineers at the lake for a long time, and then she spent a lot of her later years cleaning people's houses, even though she was old. Like, grandma worked.

She's not a lazy person. She worked. But it was funny because her whole angle was always, shit, son, it was just give to them. And my grandma's biggest thing, and I know I'm off topic here. I think you guys like when I go off topic. Now I sound like Trump. I go off topic. Maybe you like me going off topic.

I don't know. It's amazing. Hey, what about Kanye? Kanye's buying Parler. Anyway, so my grandma apparently tried to sell my mom's old clarinet. My mom was in the marching band at Poplar Bluff High School, the Show Me Band, and they played big gigs at like Bush Stadium and at the graduated, my grandma, I guess, sold it or attempted to sell it to Aunt Linda and Uncle Tillman. And apparently they never paid grandma for the clarinet. Therefore, my grandma believed that all of their financial hardships were caused by their lack of payment for that clarinet. So I remember one, their house was getting foreclosed on.

Like, they were going to take their house. And we're sitting there. As I got older, I started to understand things a little bit more, you know. And I'm sitting there with my grandma, and we'd be in her house. She'd be smoking a cigarette, and we'd be playing Yahtzee or whatever. The interesting thing about living with someone who smokes is you don't realize you smell like shit. You're like, no, I don't smell bad.

I smell great. No, you smell like shit. You're like, nah, I don't smell bad. I smell great. No, you smell like shit. But it was great because my grandma would sit there and she'd just start lecturing. She'd be like, Fox News would be on over here. She'd be sitting at this old cheap ass dining room table sitting in these shitty plastic chairs. And we would sit there together and she'd start explaining to me. She'd go, son, you know that Linda's going to have her house taken away by the government. I said, oh, yeah, is that so, Grandma? She's like, yeah, I got it, and I kind of got it, kind of didn't.

And she goes, well, son, let me tell you something. If they just would have paid for that damn clarinet, I don't believe any of this would have been an issue. And she rode that forever. Her belief was that if these people paid for that clarinet, all of their financial problems would have never been an issue. Like it was some sort of like my name is Earl level karma where they got screwed financially. Every bad thing, every major calamity that occurred for that family occurred because they did not pay my grandma for a clarinet. And she believed that.

That was the thing about my grandma. Again, she would hold grudges if... She didn't bounce back. If she held a grudge, she held a grudge. But the people she held a grudge for versus the ones grudge. But the people she held a grudge for versus the ones not. You would think she would hold a grudge against my grandpa, who she was married to. My grandpa

fucked around on my grandma. There were times grandma would go find him just messing around with these other chicks. And they stayed together a while but then eventually they got divorced. Now this is my grandpa that ran the illegal cockfighting rings in the backyard that I found out about a couple years ago, and then eventually fought the nurses at his nursing home. Well, grandpa cheated on grandma,

so I don't know what year they even got divorced. I have no idea, because when I was a kid, they still lived together. Now, think about that. This guy fucked around on my grandma. And they lived together after they got divorced. He would sleep in the laundry room. She would sleep upstairs. And they would commiserate downstairs. Bizarre. And she'd go pick up his stuff for him. She'd go to the quick stop and get his snuff.

Fascinating, isn't it? But she would hold grudges. Like maybe that's where I, I think I get two major things from my grandma. Gambling, which is a problem. And, and just the, um, the, the grudge holding. I think my mom holds grudges too. Like my dad doesn't. My dad's interesting because I think my dad's able to move on because the most important thing in my dad's life is my dad. See, I wish I had that ability. I wish I had the ability to look at myself and go, who gives a fuck what other people are doing? You do you.

I think my dad somewhat holds grudges, but it's not something that he lets dominate how he feels about things, if that makes sense. Like me, it consumes me. My grandma, her grudges would consume her. My dad will tell you that he got fucked over here, fucked over there, and if someone pisses him off, he'll go off. But he thinks about himself more often and what he's doing, which I admire and I wish I had that ability. But anyway.

All right. So I just went down a totally random rabbit hole there talking about my grandma. Let me get another pod in here. I got to get out of here. I'm going to knock one out here in a little bit that's going to drop about the Eagles and Philly fans and the Phillies and everything else. I'm going to get one of those out here in just a little bit, but I got to get moving. I did not mean to just ramble on for 20 minutes about my grandma, but I did.

It happens. Whatever. All right. I love you guys, and I'll see you.