The Josh Innes Show - JIS: Astros Fun, Fake News Turkey Shoot

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly open the show discussing the great weekend of Astros baseball. Josh still believes that the series meant more to the Yankees. But, after the way it all went down, Josh is ready for October. OJ offers his thoughts on Roe v. Wade. Stephanie Tanner gets pummeled by LAPD. Josh wants to know what Candace Cameron and Jodie Sweetin discuss when they aren't filming "Fuller House". There is no way they get along.In what is possibly the best podcast segment ever, Josh and Jilly discuss the Kyle Rittenhouse "Fake News Turkey Shoot" video game. Somehow this leads to a 20 minute segment where the gang builds the ultimate woke v. unwoke video game. It gets pretty wild. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We love them. ToeGrips.com. This is the Josh Innes Show. Well, howdy, everybody, and welcome in. Josh Innes Show. It's Josh and Jilly and Luther today. What's up, Jilly? Oh, not much.

Not much. Nice weekend, obviously. I mean, I've watched more baseball this weekend than I've watched all year. I loved it. It was fun. I enjoyed it. Yeah. I'm back in, baby.

I'm back on the Astros Express. I mean, this kind of felt playoffish. And I know last week, and I still believe this, by the way, that the outcome of those games mattered a lot more to the Yankees fans and their broadcasters than it did to the Astros. But once the series started going, and once I started dealing with dipshit Yankee fans on social media, it really kind of shifted my interest in the series. And I love the no-hitter. And I wanted to see another one on Sunday. At least wanted to see a win, which of course didn't happen.

But hell, you split with them. They're a pretty good baseball team. You split with them. Let's see what freaking happens in October. You really should have won all four of those games. Very winnable. Split that, I mean, very realistically, based on the way those games ended, very well shoulda, coulda, woulda been a sweep.

So, like, I know that some people come out of that and they're pissed that it was a split and they're pissed that they pitched a judge a couple times in those games that burned them. Hey, it's baseball. Shit happens. You pitch to a guy. Like, I had no issue with them pitching to him yesterday because you load the bases with two outs. And I know that Rizzo has been far less of a hitter, at least average wise this year than Judge has, but you load the bases, you throw two

bad pitches, you're down two on the count and you're fucked. Or you throw a wild pitch game. So, I mean, there's a lot of factors that go into that. I hate having the bases loaded with the game on the line because a walk beats you and I don't like a walk beating you. And I get that Judge is the best hitter in baseball arguably this year, one of them certainly. He's a monster at the plate. He beat you earlier in the series. I get it, but I'm okay with it. And if you go back and you look at the pitch, the pitch wasn't terrible. He went down to get one, launched it.

He's a big-time power hitter and he beat you. But I like that. I enjoyed that part of it. I like that they challenged him. It's a big picture. Neither one of these teams are going to need these games to win their division. They're both going to run away. They're currently running away with the divisions,

and they're going to win the divisions big. It meant more to the Yankees because the Astros have been their daddies. It meant more to the Yankees fans because they're dipshits, and the Astros fans are their daddies. So a lot of the broadcasters, I mean, you listen to these broadcasters and they're like, oh, my God, it's a big-time rivalry. Not a rivalry until you start winning some games in October, Chief, winning some series in October, which you haven't done against the Astros

since they've become the power they've been over the last seven years or so. But I loved it. Got me recharged, got me back into baseball, got me ready for October. Now, the part that sucks is most of the rest of this season's going to be a throwaway because the division's essentially the Astros and they have to play a bunch of games against the Mariners and the A's and the Angels all these shitty teams so that kind of takes the pop out of it a little bit but uh man big picture like I need October what is it June 27th I know we're so far away shit I mean we're

three months away like we're over three months away from the start of the playoffs so um that's the killer man like so really I would like to see him just get hot and start clubbing homers remember this you know they're doing this again with Bregman not being what he is accustomed to being they're doing this with starting pitching, which has been overachieving, you could argue. Bullpen had some letdowns. The game yesterday sucked because it goes from, hey, they could throw the back-to-back no-hitters,

which would have been arguably the greatest accomplishment in Houston sports history, non-championships, of course. What was that? I don't know. My phone is like... Your phone is possessed. Yeah, I need a new one badly, but I don't want to pay to just upgrade it,? I don't know. My phone is like your phone is possessed. Yeah. I need a new one badly, but I don't want to pay to just upgrade it. So I deal with it. I think your phone is

possessed. No, it most certainly is. There's a monster in there, but with all the issues, the Astros have dealt with and health issues and everything else they're motoring through this division again. So, uh, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the game. I'm back on board with the Astros. The Yankees people recharge my battery. My God, we talk about it all the game. I'm back on board with the Astros. The Yankees people recharge my battery. My God, we talk about it all the time, and I'm not trying to offend my Philly people, but you fall into this category. Northeast people are just fucking idiots. They're dumb people.

They're easy to fuck with on social media because their way of debating with you is just being a dickhead and calling you names and saying that you live in the South or you're from Texas or your team's a bunch of cheaters and all this. They're just stupid people. They're meatheads. There was one guy that I made a comment about New York sports and I hold to this for a city that apparently takes sports so seriously and they hold people accountable. New York teams ain't won shit in a while. mean what was the last Super Bowl over a decade ago last World Series was over a decade ago the last Stanley Cup in that city was what two and a half decades ago the two football teams are terrible currently the two basketball teams are terrible

currently uh I mean for the most part and baseball wise I mean the Mets haven't won one since 86 so I mean you look at this as a whole New York is a shithole when it comes to winning championships, right? It's a black hole. But people talk about it like, oh my God, like the Knicks. People love to talk about the Knicks. Like it's their God-given right to be good at basketball. The Knicks haven't won a championship since the 70s.

Like when people talk about the Knicks, like how are they so bad? They've been bad for four decades, yes like they're not good so but like someone comes at me with we've won a chip more recently than you guys i go which chip is that their meathead basically he was bragging about an mls cup championship like hey congrats to nyfc i believe is who won it wasn't the red bulls i think it was the New York Football Club. So congrats, you're swinging your dick over winning a MLS championship. It's all they have.

It really is, though. New York is not a good sports town. People sit here and talk about it because I judge good sports towns by whether or not you're fucking winning championships. Tampa is an exponentially better sports city than New York. Why? Because the hockey team won back-to-back championships, almost won three in a row they lost last night.

Football teams won a Super Bowl. Baseball teams at least consistently good. Like, that's a good sports town because they have parades and they win shit. New York, like the Northeast people love to talk about how tough it is to play in our cities and we get on the radios and we yell at the hosts and stuff. And we hold people accountable. We call them pussies and homos. And we go after them. We hold them accountable. It's tough to play in our fucking cities. It's tough. Yeah. Then why do your teams not win more championships? Maybe you guys are just dickheads. Why is it that Tampa has three championships in the last

handful of years and new york has dick sorry a soccer championship there's always an excuse to like my favorite thing i saw this weekend was like all these yankees fans like you guys know that's not even a real no-hitter right well it is it is friend i mean look you can debate how good of a no-hitter it is it was like i don't make the rules astros fans that's not a no-hitter well is. One chick was like, I don't make the rules Astros fans. That's not a no-hitter. Well, you're just a dummy, okay? Our friend Caden was arguing with people like, that's not a no-hitter. Well, that's our friend Caden who's truly a stupid

person. And those are just two examples, but literally the number of tweets I saw of people from New York arguing about how that wasn't a no-hitter is hysterical. Like, I need another Yankees Astros playoff series, preferably in the LCS, and I don't even know if that's possible based on standings and everything else. I guess it is.

I need that series. I need it injected into my veins. I need the Astros to go out and get another legit starting arm and maybe bolster the bullpen a little bit. I think they need to. I could argue they need another bat or two. I mean, it's a miracle you could argue that they're playing as well as they're playing and their record is as good as it is.

Part of it is. Part of it is because they play in a god-awful division, and that's been the case for the last five years. But, I mean, you look at Uli, who's terrible. You look at the hodgepodge, like mismatch of guys they've had to put in and out of the lineup. You lose Correa, obviously. You replace him with Pena, and you've got all these guys that no one's ever heard of that have to come in and do stuff for you. You've had issues health-wise with Jordan at times.

For all of that, they're pretty fucking good for a team that's had to deal with that. Imagine what happens when these guys are locked in and going, whenever they're healthy, whenever they fight. Like, I do think they need another legit arm. I mean, you look at the way the guys pitched this weekend. Javier was great after a rough start. Fromber bounced back and was good for most of that game as well. So, I mean, look, I think they've got good arms. I'd like to see them at another legit major league veteran stud arm. Don't ask me who that guy is right now because I've been

out of sight, out of mind on it. I'll look into it closer to the deadline. I mean, technically Javier's a bullpen guy. He's just there because Lance is out. Correct. So, I mean, you look at what, and I get Lance will be back, but I don't trust health for Lance. And also Lance has a tendency of giving up some big shots. So when they've won and they've been successful, they've at least had a one-two punch at the top.

Generally speaking, it's been Verlander. It was Verlander mixed with Keichel, if you'll believe that. And holy shit, Keichel still sucks I don't even know he's still playing well he got cut from the socks a while ago and I guess he was now playing in the minor leagues for Arizona they called him up yesterday and I don't think things went very well

no I mean you were telling me he wasn't good like Keichel's in a fascinating case because forever Keichel was supposed to be the ace of the staff. I mean, he was the ace for a couple of years. And then he fell off a mountain. And you'll remember in 2017, he was pissed that they didn't go out and get Verlander.

Then they did go get Verlander and Keichel just fell off a mountain. But I think they do need another legit arm. I'm a big believer in having a one-two punch at the top of rotation. And that's what they've had, whether it be a Verlander and Cole, whether it be a Verlander and Granke, whether it be Verlander, and I know it sounds ridiculous, but Verlander and Keichel slash, really Charlie Morton was even better than Keichel was. But, I mean, they've had that, and I don't think they have that right now.

But, fuck, I am back in, man. I'm into the Astros again. I'm excited about it. Fuck the Yankees. Fuck their dumb ass fans. They're fucking meatheads. I'm into it, man. That was the most fun we've had watching baseball this season so far. God, I would have killed for him to throw another no hitter. Like how sweet would that have fucking been? At least like, like they probably wasn't going to happen obviously, but I would have preferred that they also won the game, which they didn didn't do which took a little sting out of the weekend but that was good baseball all

weekend it was fun baseball jose altuve is still their fucking daddies like matt muscona our friend was at the game uh on friday i think he was in new york for a little like a little time away with his wife and he said something about altuve on on Twitter. He said, man, nobody hates anybody more than the Yankees fans hate Altuve. I said they hate him because he's their fucking daddies, to which he responds he was 0 for 4. Then just the next two days he proceeds to hit a home run in each of the next two games. Jose Altuve is their daddies.

And we hate the term lives rent-free in their heads. I hate it and I refuse to use it. He actually does. That is the one example that I can think of where Altuve is just living in these people's heads. Imagine being the Yankees and some of your best years

were spent with dudes that are jacked up on roids and you want to talk about cheating being a big deal and oh, cheaters, cheaters, fuck that. The Astros have beaten you multiple times in the playoffs. They are your daddies and I cannot wait to see these two teams play again. Please, inject it into my veins. Mainline it.

I want an eight ball of Astros-Yankees, and I so desperately, and what I'm looking forward to, here's what I want. Oh, I so badly want this. This would be like the end of a movie. Now, they got burned by Judge twice. I think where they fucked up with Judge in the first game was once it was 2-0, you put him on base. 2-0 count, or actually it was 3-0. When it got to 3-0, and don't throw him a meatball. He's red hot. Just put him on. He's going to swing, and he's going to beat you, and

he did that in game one. You made a pretty decent pitch, and he rocketed out of the park to win the game yesterday. Shit happens. He's a great player. He beat you. I saw Lance Zerline and guys like that bitching about Dusty on that, and I'm like, you know what? Both of these teams are going to make the fucking playoffs. The results of most of these games don't matter. I mean, that's what makes it tough is you're so far ahead and you're so dominant in your division that it's kind of like, you know, cool. It's hard to stay interested. It is like, like I'm sitting here talking about how jacked up I am about the Astros in about two days, I won't be jacked up anymore because they're 10 and a half games up on the Rangers and 11 and a half up on Anaheim.

And like, the division's not even competitive, right? So it's hard to stay locked into it. So the result of that game yesterday meant dick other than for bragging rights. And really, the Astros get their bragging rights in the postseason when they win those games, when they beat them in the postseason, which they've done multiple times. But I'm watching that, and I like the fact that they said challenge him. Why not? People don't want to see fucking walks. That's the bad thing for baseball that you don't get in basketball, you don't get in football for the most part, is with the game on the line in baseball, you can eliminate the best player by putting him on base.

Just walking him four fingers, you go. And I hate that. Like, I want to see the best players in big spots doing big things, in particular in the regular season. Post-season, it makes more sense probably to put him on and say, we're going to try to let Anthony Rizzo beat us. In a regular season game where both teams are a mile ahead of the rest of the competition in their division, pitch to him.

See what your guy's got. Put him on the spot. Say, all right, big boy, go get him. If he beats you, he beats you. There are a thousand games up in their division. You're a thousand games up in your fucking division. Who cares? And you got beat.

So what? You know, like I see people bitching about that. Yeah, I would have liked to see him win three out of four. They arguably should have swept the fucking series. But at least it gave us drama and it was exciting. And it's the best player versus the bullpen. And rock on, see how it goes, and you got beat. But I loved it.

I thought it was entertaining. I thought it was great. I loved the back and forth with the Yankee dip shits. Bring on October. My God, I wish today was October or September 27th instead of June 27th. I got three plus months, three fucking months. Like that's been one of the negatives about the Astros being so good is the regular season is completely pointless. Especially like we talked about this the other day, when you look at July, like it's just the division. Like at least, you know,

you get the Mets thrown in once or twice or the Yankees are an interesting matchup but July is just a bore yes they said that abortions aren't legal they are in baseball and it's the Astros schedule in July waka waka um but like all these teams are a mile behind them and they're all under 500 and you're playing a bunch of those so uh but either way that that was fun. It was an enjoyable, fun weekend of baseball consumption. Yeah. I like, I did have a guy come after me about my stupid opinion. He came after me on Instagram and he said, your hot take was fucking stupid. I said, well, what hot take was that? Oh, that the team didn't care about this series.

You think they didn't care about that? No hitter said friend. They want to win the game. They're not going out there trying to lose the damn game. My point is that the Astros for the last six plus years, six, seven years have been a damn good baseball team. That's goal is to win championships. Whether or not they beat the Yankees in a four game series in June means nothing to them. Big picture. Cause they're a big picture franchise at this point. So you want to come after me with dumb shit like that, fine, but whatever. Now, other stuff going on.

Good news. OJ has thoughts. He's got Roe v. Wade thoughts. On everything going on in the world, OJ has just put a whole video out. What I love is yesterday he tweets and it says, my tweet, my opinion. Well, OJ, I'm fairly certain you don't represent anybody else. I never see another human in your videos with you. And my guess is that you don't represent some big corporation.

You're OJ. We get it. Hey, Twitter world. It's me, yours truly. Happy Sunday. Well, it's my Twitter site, so it's my opinion. No shit, OJ. Thanks.

Let's start with Roe versus Wade. I thought it was a horrible decision. I think women should have the right to decide what happens with their bodies. Okay. He's got to hear it, right? No, I don't think he does. But I think that's always been the case with OJ because OJ is a delusional person. I think he believes his own bullshit, which in a way is almost endearing, right? Like I talk about shitty radio people all the time and how they like believe they matter when they don't. And I wish I kind of had that level of, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Naivete. Naivete maybe. Like I wish that I could believe my own bullshit. Like when some slap dick afternoon top 40 jock in Minneapolis or something

thinks his opinions matter. I'm like, God, I wish I could feel that way. I wish I could believe that what I'm saying matters, even though I know it doesn't. These guys have this delusional quality about them that's great. OJ has a great quality. And that's at least if you're a guy that probably killed two people, it's great to have this quality that you are completely oblivious to the world. And I think it works for him. Like, keep in mind, this is OJ telling you that women should have a choice with their body.

With what happens to their body. With what happens to their body. Well, OJ, you know, you did kill two people, maybe, and one of them was a woman. Yeah, but the bitch shouldn't have fucked that dude. Am I right? She had a choice. That was her choice to do it. I'm just saying. She made a choice to fuck that other guy she suffers the consequences

i'm just saying especially in cases of rape and um and incest also when people bring up what about murder well true people bring up the rape and incest thing about this roe v wade thing and very fair like is incest happening far more than we think it is? Because people love to throw that one out. Like, hey, man, what if someone gets fucked by their dad and gets pregnant? Like, does that happen a lot? It does happen. Outside of the Amish community, does that happen a lot?

Is there an Amish documentary that we were going to watch? Which one is that on Netflix? I don't know if it's Amish. I forget what it's about, but there's one on Netflix. Let me see how many, okay. How many incest, this is a weird thing to look up. How many incest pregnancies in the U.S. per year? Let's see. Understanding pregnancy resulting from rape. That's not what I asked, internet. I asked how many pregnancies come from incest. I'm sure there are plenty of rapes that result in pregnancy,

and I'm not saying that incest doesn't, but people throw that out there like that's just like a common occurrence. There was some woman today, some dummy, who I forget. I wish I could remember whose name it was, but she was some sort of right-wing politician, I believe. I don't know for sure. But she was trying to say that when women get raped,

they don't get pregnant very often because their body's just rejected because it's not natural. Like, what the fuck are you saying? It's like, I have to wish this baby into existence and I do not wish this baby to exist. I wish I could find her name now because she's that dumb

that she deserves to have her name called out. Well, while you find that, let's listen to more OJ, who again, if you missed it earlier, OJ wants you to know that women should have a say over what happens to their body. You'll be surprised that some of these are legit. Hey, OJ, what happened? Chill, bro. What happened to the audio? With their bodies, especially.

OJ? Oh, no. What happened? Is there something else potted up over there? We might have left it paused too long sometimes. Oh, no, OJ. I, no. What happened? Is something else potted up over there? We might have left it paused too long sometimes. Oh, no, OJ. I am so sorry. Let's just go back to the beginning, OJ.

I'm sorry. Let's try it again, OJ. Hey, Twitter world, is me yours too? No, OJ. You probably have to close it out again. OJ, no. That's what I get for mocking you, OJ said. I'm just saying.

Nope. What the hell? Let's start with Lewis's win. Wow. How about that? It happens to me in here sometimes, but I usually just stop it and start it again, and it works fine. Well, damn. So I don't know why.

Forget you then, OJ. You've ruined me. That was the basic principle, was that one line. Yeah. It was really what you need to hear, that women should have the choice of what happens to their body, despite the fact that. I shouldn't like OJ as much as I do. But I do. Again, we talk about this a lot with OJ.

I thoroughly enjoy him because, again, he's so delusional that I'm envious of it. He says shit. And you would like to think that he knows that people are like all right this guy's a fucking nut but i don't think he does because he doesn't live on the same planet that we all live on see i was making this joke to you the other day i really think in my mind like this could be his wedding crashers he could be like chaz you know who goes to crash funerals like oj has a chance here to just show up at these protests surround surround himself with, well, his choice would be white women. He'd let them cry.

He'd scream with them. He'd, you know, show solidarity with them. And then he'd take them home and let them choose what happens to their bodies. Like, and he shows up and a lot of them wouldn't even know who the fuck he is. People forget that the OJ thing happened damn near 30 years ago. So there's a bunch of these young, angry chicks out there wearing vagina hats that have no idea who he is, so he's just a nice black guy that comes up and he's hugging people.

See, like, white men don't get it, but this guy. This guy gets it. There need to be more people like OJ in America. No, they wouldn't know his name's OJ, because he wouldn't, like, now, he is so cocky that he would say my name is oj he would come and they'd say what's your name hey i'm oj simpson but no what it needs to be is he would walk in and say hello my name is orenthal and they go oh well hello orenthal and they become the best of friends and then oj in a weird turn of events becomes a beloved figure in the left-wing pro-abortion crazy lady stratosphere

and oj a guy who killed a woman probably is a hero to women and we laugh at this you say well that's pretty fucking ridiculous josh is it is it ridiculous because i can see it too the world's gone nuts by the way this woman is a yesley Vega. She's a Republican nominee for Congress who believes that it's not something that's happening organically. You're forcing it. So therefore, women who are sexually assaulted might not become pregnant. Now, she does add, I haven't seen any studies, but it wouldn't surprise me. I haven't seen any studies on this, but they're like, ma'am, how do you know that? Well, I didn't see a study or anything but that's a gut feeling i got

a gut feeling that when a woman gets raped she doesn't want to get pregnant so she will not get pregnant her body will just shut down like you're truly just making shit up is this this audio let me see if the first of all let me see if the audio actually works let's see here now the left will say well what about in cases of rape or incest? I'm a law enforcement officer. I became a police officer in 2011. I've worked one case where as a result of a rape, the young woman became pregnant. So there's not the actual line there.

But you can see where she's going with that. Yeah, she's like, so what I'm going to tell you guys is this. I'm going to shoot you straight. I have no reason to believe that there's a better chance that you get knocked up from getting raped. Like my God, people are stupid. It's as if like the lady goes, listen, please don't put a baby inside me. All the years of science that shows you that there are women that are desperate to get pregnant. They are desperate and they cannot get pregnant. They wish it, they hope it, and they don't get pregnant.

But women who get raped, they're like, I don't want to get pregnant. And they're like, well, your wish is my command. It's like a super rape genie. And you say, I have three wishes. And one of them is to not get pregnant when I get raped. And she says, your wish is my command. Congratulations. People just don't even think. Boy,ody sweeten um boy uh here so she got you know pushed down and fell off of this curb i think she kind of tripped on the curb i think that was part of it too i think also the initial push was by a woman cop i think i can't tell they're all wearing masks i think it is but like so so stephanie tanner gets pushed she kind of stumbles off this curb fortunately for her her t her tits are gigantic. And I think they broke the fall. You know what a conversation that I'd

really like to just be a fly on the wall for? It's conversations that go down between the two sisters from Full House, like off the air. When they're like, well, Jodi, she was out at the rally to fight for women's rights to have an abortion. And my guess is, and I don't want to just assume, but I'm guessing Candace Cameron Bure, based on how much of a religious loon she is, my guess is that she is very anti-abortion, which, hey, more power to you. It's your call, pro-life instead of pro-choice, whatever. I'm not here to judge you you do you boo but i imagine that that conversation think about how whack out her uh her brother is how kirk cameron like he's a like i don't think all religious people are lunatics for what it's worth i'm not religious but there's a lot of

people that believe in a higher power they go to church that's their prerogative right kirk cameron falls under the category of wacko. He is a religious wacko. So on one hand, you've got this left-wing, pro-choice kind of wacko protester, Stephanie Tanner. And on the other hand, DJ's over here just like, I'm going to church. And I'll adopt your kid. I imagine those conversations can be lit if I had to guess. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I bet you that's a good time.

They're both hot, though, in different ways. Like Stephanie, she still kind of has that I used to do meth kind of hot quality about her that I like. And then on the other hand, there's Candace Cameron, who's got like coogie milf hotness about her that I also really enjoy. So I imagine that's a fine conversation the two of them have. You know that the dopey kid that shot the people, what's his name? Kyle Rittenhouse. So he's got a video game now. He does. Where he hunts the drive-by media, the fake news turkeys. And apparently there's a trailer for this. Let me see if i can find it uh battle was telling me about the trailer for this today but so the kid apparently wearing the the cartoon or

the character is wearing the same outfit that he wore um when he shot the two people of course i'm really getting annoyed by this guy i know i've talked about it before i find him to be really annoying as a person. And I get that he's a young kid and I'm on his side in terms of like the shooting of the people, like, okay, fine. Where I'm annoyed is like, there's a smugness about this kid that I don't like. And he's really milking it. And by the way, the media people roasted him unfairly. So it's a weird dynamic that I have where I'm on his side, but I'm really fucking annoyed by him. He's a really annoying child.

Let me see if this is the actual trailer for it. Hi, I'm Kyle Rittenhouse. You might know me as the guy who was recently acquitted from all charges in the Kenosha self-defense case. From the very beginning, I did nothing wrong. But that didn't stop the media from smearing my name. It's time to fight back against the fake news machine. This is why I'm launching the Kyle Rittenhouse fake news turkey shoot video game.

The media is nothing but a bunch of turkeys with nothing This poor kid. Like, he's a young kid, and he's already just been... Like, he got raked over the coals. Now, again, he got just destroyed by these people, but now he's been adopted by these right-wing lunatics on TV, and he's kind of like a poster boy for shit for them. So now he's just gotten sucked into this fucked-up world. So go to riddenhousegame.com and pre-order the game now

and help me fund the lawsuits to stop these fake news turkeys. It's a fake news turkey shoot. Got a laser gun going pew, pew, pew. Filing lawsuits. And we about to bankrupt the fake news got a written house game.com pre-order now like z-dog like the world is crazy following lawsuits and we about to shoot the turkeys they're turkeys just use a normal gun lawsuits we about to bankrupt the fake news go to written house game.com

my boy mw soulgrove's like well let me let me get out my iPhone. Someone's playing Rittenhouse Game Time, the fake news turkey shoot. Fake news turkey shoot. Got a laser gun going pew, pew, pew. Following lawsuits. We about to bankrupt the fake news. Go to RittenhouseGame.com. Pre-order now. Is that him?

I think so. Christ. What a sad time yeah this kid has no chance in life like he's just fucked i mean it is absurd that he is famous for killing people it is in self-defense or not it is absurd that he is famous for killing people. It is. In self-defense or not. It is. Well, it's kind of like in the same concept as like how Rodney King became famous.

Dude got his ass kicked by the cops. Unjustly got his ass kicked by the cops and became a celebrity to the point where he's doing like celebrity boxing. Like, what are you famous for? I got my ass kicked. It's the same kind of concept as the David Hogg kid. The David Hogg kid is a celebrity because he survived a school shooting. Like, it's weird. But in this case, like, I mean, the guy still did plug two people. Now they attacked

him. Again, I am on this kid's side. I'm just annoyed by him. Like, you would think, hey, you go out, you sue these people, you try to make your money off of them, which I'm sure he will because they defame the fuck out of this kid. Get your money and then just kind of fade out. Hang out. Go buy a big house when you get this money. Fuck hoes. I'm sure there's a lot of chicks out there that are very turned on by some redneck kid that plugged a couple of people. There are chicks that want to fuck OJ, bro. There are chicks that want to fuck Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. I'm sure you can get laid like all day. Go to all the Kid Rock concerts and the Skinner concerts and go to like the Freedom concerts and all that

and have a good time. But like the video games and shit, it just seems dopey. It's the fake news, turkey shoot. Got a laser gun going pew, pew, pew. Following lawsuits. We about to bankrupt the fake news go to written house game.com okay so everybody that's listening hey you know what we need to do i just need to get some money from them new sponsor of the show written house game.com we should have a written house game tournament with our Oh, that's what we need to do. That's a solid move

there. I'm with you. Rittenhousegame.com A Kyle Rittenhouse turkey shoot. What's it called? Is it called fake news turkey shoot? That's it. Fake news turkey shoot. Got a laser gun going pew pew pew. Following lawsuits. We about to bankrupt the fake

news. That's funny is... Like, do you think, like, if you clear a certain level, like, a Trump character comes out and shoots turkeys with you? He's like, let me tell you something. Like, you unlock, like, a special, you know, player. There's, like, certain, like, yeah, like, Trump, I guess, would be the high end.

Right. Or is it a certain thing where you shoot enough turkeys that it's like Mario, that, like, you get to certain levels and you're like, well, here I am versus King Koopa. Like, I don't know, like, Whoopi Goldberg in the cast of The View. Right. Is standing at the end of one you're like, well, here I am versus King Koopa. Like, I don't know, like Whoopi Goldberg in the cast of The View is standing at the end of one and like, and if you make it to level three, there's Don Lemon and Don Lemon is waiting and you get to plug Don Lemon. If you get past Don Lemon, then you get to Kamala.

Like, is that how it works? I think probably. Or, and like, and when you start running out of juice and you need some help, instead of eating like little mushrooms and shit shit like it's Mario, you climb into a little tube and out comes, you eat like, you nap on a MyPillow and then you're rejuvenated. Like, hey, pass go and nap on a MyPillow and you'll be rejuvenated and all of your life will be restored.

And then Trump is in your dreams while you're napping and he shows up in a little cloud and he's like, Kyle, let me tell you something. You're an incredible American. You're amazing. You're amazing. I'm very busy right now. I've got to stop abortion, abortion. I know I said that I was a pro woman's right to choose many moons ago, but I'm not. Cause I'm now fake Republican and I've got to do all this and that's okay. Uh, and he tells you all that shit in the dream. And then you wake up and you're rejuvenated and you're taller. And then it's like, well, on we go. Now, what would be the ultimate?

Like, what do you have? Like, what fake news turkey do you have to take out to win the entire game? Like, who's the final level? Well, who's he suing? He's suing The View, isn't he? He's suing everybody. He's suing goddamn everybody, I would imagine. But, like, The View.

Like, Whoopi goldberg stands at the end just looking like a gigantic monster and then there's her and that dumbass uh joy behar and they stand between you and victory and on the other side is a souped up z71 right there on the other side jacked up to the fucking moon tucker car Carlson's just waiting to hand over the keys to you. Yeah, Tucker Carlson's in the driver's seat, and he's like, a man called Kyle Rittenhouse just won a souped-up Z71 because he defeated the fake news. This is funny. This is amazing.

You know, this game's probably not as good as we're describing it. Oh, God, no. It's literally just him sitting there. Like, listen, Kyle, you should have reached out to me. I do not know how to design this shit, but I can lay out the idea. It's a fake news turkey shoot. Got a laser gun going pew, pew, pew.

Following lawsuits. And we about to bankrupt the fake news. You would think Biden's got to be somewhere in this game. Oh, you get to knock him off a bike. Like, he comes at you on a bicycle, and you pull out your laser gun and psu, psu, psu, and it knocks him knock him off a bike. Like he comes at you on a bicycle and you pull out your laser gun and it knocks him right off the fucking bike.

That's a good one. And he's riding a bike with a helmet, but also suckling on an ice cream at the same time. And I guess given that he's the president, he would be the ultimate boss at the end. Well, I mean, who's actually running him though? Does he really make the decisions? Like Kamala's there. Kamala's there blowing some guy in the back because you know joe and the ho gotta go it's like the wizard

of oz yes pay no attention to the man behind the curtain so there's biden he's all big and bad and like they sneak behind the curtain and there's kamala you know blowing some dude it's like wait no no no no pay no attention to the skank behind the curtain. I basically get all my ideas from the bumper stickers on trucks in our town. There's a lot of good ones here. I mean, that's where all my ideas come from. So, but I think that would be a hell of a game. See, now you got a game. At first, you didn't have a game.

You just had, you know, your typical shoot them up, duck hunt type game. Now what we've done is we've gotten deep. Well, this is just like a phone game, though. Like, maybe this will do so well that they will expand into a video game but who's gonna produce that it ain't gonna be kurt schilling obviously because his shit went belly up and that might be the only one do you think ea sports you reach out to ea sports you're like listen we want to make a kyle rittenhouse fake news turkey shoot game for playstation and xbox fake news turkey shoot game for playstation and xbox you know the same company that put uh colin kaepernick at the madden and gave him a very high rating yep ea sports totally ea sports says

you know what that sounds like a good idea kyle rittenhouse fake news turkey shoot we're gonna roll that bad boy out it's a fake news turkey shoot got a laser gun going well then their follow-up can be oh i didn't notice that some of them actually have real names on them too like if you notice these turkeys like i think one of them says msnbc on it there's fake news fake news ms oh sorry msdnc yes ah they love that that's a big trump on the msdnc they love that no as i say like ea sports could then follow this up with like the lenny dykstra takes on uh ron darling video game well no it would be a great video game is that like lenny dykstra and i know he hadn't been to jail in a long time but like a grand theft auto nails so Nails just like goes out and steals cars fucks chicks in the cars

eats pussy in the cars like Grand Theft Bro bro it's Grand Theft Auto Nails edition bro and like you get bonus points if you find his teeth in the garbage can at the uh New Jersey Mike's oh yeah that'd be a great that needs to a combination. Oh, you know what I need to see? I need a Kyle Rittenhouse nails, like lethal weapon type movie. It's like a buddy cop movie and they're out there trying to stop the bad guys who of course are the fake news.

And Ron Darling. No, yes. Ron Darling is also fake news in all of this. And, oh god, that'd be legit. Yep. They're the new Mario Brothers. That'd be lit as fuck. They're like, hey, what's this game called? Oh, we got a new game.

Hey, guys, hear me out. We got a pitch. We want to go to EA Sports with a pitch. All right, we'll listen. What do you got? All right, I want you to imagine Grand Theft Auto meets Super Mario Brothers, but our heroes are alt-right lunatics. Are you in?

So you said the heroes are the alt-right lunatics? Yes. The heroes are the alt-right lunatics. Well, who do they have to defeat to win it? The lamestream media. And at the end of the game, if they succeed, they get crowned by Tucker Carlson. Tucker Carlson deems them. Oh, and like, oh, Yo-Hoood also would have to be in this game,

is Olbermann. And like, Olbermann is off a million miles away from everybody on his balcony of his penthouse yelling at clouds. But like, if you lose, if you lose all your lives, instead of going back to a starting point, actually, hold on.

Hold the fucking phone. The game actually starts with you trapped in Keith Olbermann's apartment and you have to find a way to get out. Okay. That's good. That's good. Yeah. And then once you get out of there, you have to get to your goal destination, which I'm going to Mar-a-Lago. Is that the, uh, that makes sense. So you have to escape Keith Olbermann's penthouse and then you have to get down to Mar-a-Lago. And then you're greeted by Trump and Tucker Carlson. But would it be like, what if someone, like the fake news has invaded Mar-a-Lago?

So like, you know, in Mario Brothers, the princess is held captive. Yes. So Trump is being held captive by the ladies on The View or something. Okay, but you've got to get through a lot of them. So you get through the ladies on The View. Like, the door is being guarded by Stephen Colbert. So you have to gain access to the fortress by taking out Stephen Colbert. Yes, because Trump is being held hostage.

He and Tucker Carlson are being held hostage by the lamestream media. Yes. Yep. Now we've solved it. So there'll be some of the great lamestream media. Yes. Yep. Now we've solved it. So there'll be, so like some of the great lamestream media people. And so you're at the door and you're running out, you're down to your last life and you get a lifeline,

right? Like it works this way, like kind of like a, a who wants to be a millionaire? You're like, well, you're going to die, but you earned a lifeline somewhere along the way because you know,

like, you know, you stood by and watched a police shooting and did nothing to stop it. that's how you gain points so you're like you gained like a like a little token that gives you one of these like you know like hey you get a lifeline if you if you lose your last life because you've already advanced so far you've escaped keith olbermann's penthouse and you've made it through all you made it through chicago you had to get through chicago and like laurie lightfoot standing there like, fuck you, motherfucker. And you have to make it through there

and you call Mancow to help you out while you're in Chicago because that's his turf. He rules the roost. So you call Mancow and he's like a buddy for you. You guys join force. You beat the shit out of Lori Lightfoot. Then you meet up with Lenny and you take out Ron Darling and all that stuff. And then you've already continued. Correct. Well, actually you meet up

with Lenny initially or you call your buddy Lenny on the phone. See, your phone was taken away, but somehow Keith Olbermann passed out on, like he crashed after taking all of whatever the fuck medication he's on. He crashes for a few minutes or he runs to the john and you see a phone laying around, like Olbermann's phone somehow, and you try to put in his code or something like that. And somehow you get it.

I don't know how. I haven't figured all this out yet but for whatever reason he's got nails phone number because a big baseball guy this uh this olbermann and and nails like why the fuck is olbermann calling me bro and he picks up goes the fuck you want and you go bro it's me it's me i'm kyle rittenhouse it's me he goes hey bro and you're like yeah i really need your help so then he uses his super nails powers and he's able to get over to help you escape from olbermann's penthouse by throwing baseballs at olbermann the ultimate way to kill olbermann the big baseball fan is death by baseballs from the most hardcore wacky alt-right guy ever and then there's another level too where like liberal, like, liberal tears are falling,

but you have to avoid them. They're kind of like the fireballs in Mario and stuff. Oh, yes. And remember those little fireball, like... You have to dodge, like, Jimmy Kimmel's tears, like his fake tears and stuff. Yes, and they're all above you, and their heads are crying, and their tears are falling. And they're acidic, and they're fireballs.

Oh, fuck. So you have to dodge the, you know. Fuck. Boy, this is a great game, right? And then, so you make your way through the country and you're like, well, somehow you end up in Chicago and you got to survive Chicago, of course. Then it's like you get captured.

You get taken over to California for a little bit with the wackos. Then you have to watch that guy from CNN beat off a little bit on a Zoom call. That's your punishment in one of them. Then you have to watch that guy from CNN beat off a little bit on a Zoom call. That's your punishment in one of them. Then you have to escape the drag show. Oh, that's a big one. They bring you in and they tie you up and they force you. They cut

off your eyelids and make you watch the drag show. Basically, they try to turn you into a woman. They do. They're like, you want to transition, don't you? Like, I don't know, who's the big, who's a big transition person. You have to fight Demi Lovato. Yes.

You have to fight Demi Lovato and Leon Page or whatever the fuck Ellen Page calls herself now. What is it? Is it just Eli? No. Elon? Ethan Page? Steve Page? I thought it was Leon Page.

It's not Leon Page. So you mean to tell me that his name is not Leon Page? It's Elliot Page. Elliot Page. So then you have to take out Elliot Page. Oh, here's how you win a level. Okay. What does Lenny really say he's good at?

What is one of Lenny's great skills? Eating pussy. Eating pussy. So he takes out his teeth and he eats Leon Page's pussy. It's not Leon Page. Okay, hear me out. He eats Leon Page's pussy. Elliot Page.

He eats Elliot Page's pussy. And then Elliot Page becomes a man again or like is a woman again like she found her she like gains her feminine wiles again because because great right wing ambassador nails eats the pussy so good that she doesn't want to be a man anymore and then she sprouts titties again. And that gets you like 50 gold Trumpy bears. At the end of that level, you actually rescue Caitlyn Jenner. But Caitlyn Jenner's on your side. That's what I'm saying.

She's an embarrassment to the trans community. So these, you know, the drag queen stuff don't want Caitlyn Jenner out there in the world. So they've, they've captured her. I see. Now you get to rescue Caitlyn Jenner in that level. That's huge. And then Caitlyn goes on to help you.

And it's almost like a Bill and Ted type thing. The more people you add on, they're part of your crew. And that helps you when you get to the fake news. Well, when you're going down to Mar-a-Lago and it's been taken over by the fake news monsters, you've got the help of nails. That's it. Everywhere you go, you pick somebody up. So like in Chicago, if you defeat Lori Lightfoot, Man Cow is with you, right?

And if you get down to Texas and you're able to defeat Beto, Ted Cruz is with you. Or Michael Barry. Or Jim Mudd. No, Roller Governor with his high-powered rocket wheelchair. Holy shit. His wheelchair has like spikes on the side of it like when he has his superpowers. Like fucking Mario Kart. He like

shoots out little turtle shells and shit. Fuck this is great. They all got like superpowers. So now you've got like Greg Abbott. You've got Man Cow. You've got Nails. You've got Caitlyn Jenner. All rescued. All on your side. Holy shit. This is now the greatest game ever. There you go. Yeah. And then of course the final thing would be, you have to rescue Trump. You get down to Mar-a-Lago and he's being held captive. He's been taken over by the wokest of the woke.

Now you've already taken out Olbermann because he's at the start of this, but you've got like, and there there's different levels of Mar-a-Lago because Trump is on, like, the top floor of Mar-a-Lago. You've survived the liberal tears, right? Yep, you've dodged the liberal tears. Oh, God, you've dodged the drag queens who tried to take you out with their dicks. To make you transition. Yes, queen. Yes. So they do that.

And then you've gained all these other people with you. So again, you've got nails. Then you have to beat Colin Kaepernick in a throw off. Holy shit. You have to. Holy shit. You have to prove you can quarterback better than Colin Kaepernick. Holy shit.

That's the next level. And then you force him to kneel before you when you defeat him. And that's actually how you gain entrance onto the grounds. And then you know who you pick up with that level. Who's that? Cole Beasley. Oh yes. Cole Beasley is waiting on the, that's like your buddy. Oh, here's what you do. Cole Beasley is the wide receiver that you both throw to. Yes. And whoever throws better passes to Cole Beasley wins. So if you beat Kaepernick, then you gain Cole Beasley on your side. So now you've got man cow and you've got nails and, uh, and now Cole Beasley and Caitlyn Jenner.

And then for some reason, Tony Bruno just rolls out. He's like, there's an outrage. Well, Tony's calling it like Madden. Oh God. That's perfect. He's like on the radio the whole time. Oh, God, that's perfect. He's like on the radio the whole time. Oh, great. And you might be asking yourself, Josh, how are all these people getting from place to place?

Friends, they're driving an extra large General Lee. And that's how they're getting from place to place. So instead of like Bill and Ted who are in a phone booth, these guys are in a souped up, like supersized general fucking league is what they're in. Then now we got a game. So then of course you got to beat to, you got to beat Kaepernick to get onto the grounds. Like you're down there at Mar-a-Lago, you got to beat Kaepernick to get there. Right. And so where is Mar-a-Lago? What part of Florida is it in? I'm not sure. I don't know. But anyway, so you're down there. You get to the gate. Now you're at the door.

And then you save John Cassio. Yeah, John Cassio's like, he's your lifeline. You're like, hey, Cassio, I need you. And then you get to the door, and that's where it's being guarded by the kings of late-night television. The three woke men is guarding the door. You like that? That's good. So the three woke men are guarding the door, and like that? So the three woke men are guarding the door

and you have to gain access to the fortress. You have to penetrate their barriers. And how you defeat them is you bring in Jay Leno and Jay Leno tells a bunch of really lame 1990s OJ jokes. Well, or you just bring in OJ. That are very offensive. That are very offensive to people. And then boom, you get in. And then of course it culminates with trump being held captive by the worst of the worst the view people they're going to be holding him captive up there he's all tied up they're using alissa milano alissa milano is up there they're they're gagging him with a giant 17 inch dildo and that's how they've got him gagged with his with his red necktie tying on either end of the dildo, holding it in his mouth. Oh, and Billy Joe Armstrong is there, of course.

Billy Joe Armstrong is there. Green Day, American Idiot is playing. Oh, the whole time. The whole time it's playing. And you're like, what the fuck do I do? And it gets louder, and you start losing points as the music gets louder, because you've got to find a way to defeat him.

But the only way to defeat him is to do what? Find 21 guns and take him out with those 21 guns. And then you inject him with the China virus. With the China virus. So then he's out. You've given him the China virus. See you later. So you got to beat the view people. Maybe that's where Lenny brings back his old tricks of eating some pussy and, you know, wooing them. I don't know. Lenny would never. No, no. But you know what? If it meant saving Trump, I think he would. You're right. If you said, hey, Lenny, would you eat Joy Behar's box? If it meant saving Trump from being gagged by a 14-inch dildo, he'd say, yeah, bro.

He'd be like, yeah, go get them, Lenny. And that's what it would be. And then, of course, it culminates with having to take out, I guess, if we consider the woke of the woke, I mean, he's already beaten the three woke men of late night, and then it's Joy Behar, Don Lemon, and Alyssa Milano, and maybe Rachel Maddow, and you've got to take them out. And the only way to take them out is to bring in Leonard Skinner. And Leonard Skinner, I don't know how you get them. They're down in Florida.

Oh, that's it. It's Leonard Skinner versus Green Day. Yes, and they have a rock off. And whoever rocks harder knocks out Green Day. Green Day is like the last line of defense. And then you raise the Confederate flag and you rescue Trump. Yep. And as you're singing and you're celebrating by singing Sweet Home Alabama, I don't know

why this happens, but then Hank Jr. shows up for like bonus points and sings if the South would have won. And now you have played there you go we've made it much better i buy that game it's gotta be better than madden i mean my god man's the same shit every year yes all right well who do i need to tell them about uh craftology by christy craftology by christy check out uh her instagram give her a follow on the old g ram also uh you can check out her uh store her etsy store where they have got really cool stuff they're cute stuff as the ladies would say nice cute. So if you're looking for something to buy for your lady or for yourself or whatever,

she makes some really cool stuff. So I would urge you to go check it out. Craftology by Christy on Instagram and on Etsy and everywhere else. And find some really cool stuff, some cool Texas stuff. You showed me that Astro shirt the other day. That's a cool one. Apparently that's a really trendy thing that people are doing on there as well. Very cool. Christy's a cool, apparently that's a really trendy thing that people are doing on there as well. Very cool. Uh, Christie's very cool. And so is her husband, of course, Richard from Metro

ready mix. He's awesome as well. So, uh, Hey, check them out. Why not? It's a fun time. That's good merch and everything else. They're good folks. So find them, give them a like on the gram, if you will, and, uh, go make some purchases. Really cool stuff. It is our friends, Craftology by Christy and Richard and everybody else. Also, so my radio station in Detroit now has a TikTok that has 13 followers. Whoa. So you guys can go follow that. It's just 1067 Detroit is the name, at 1067 Detroit.

Further proof that the phones are listening. I just opened up Facebook. Yep. And what's the first thing I see? Fake news turkey shoot. Oh, it's a MyPillow. Sponsored ad. Oh, we didn't even incorporate MyPillow. I guess we did because you get bonus.

Yeah, that's how you get extra lives. Extra life is to take a nap on the MyPillow. And eating like the mushrooms in Super Mario. That's Goya beans. And maybe you're visited by a Trumpy bear, like a real-life Trumpy bear. Yes, but the Goya beans is a good one as well. That's strong. The fake news turkey shoot.

Got a laser gun going pew, pew, pew. Following lawsuits. And we about to bankrupt the fake news. This kid has no chance. But anyway, all right then. You guys are great. We'll see you later.