The Josh Innes Show - JIS: Astros Sweep, PK Calls, Horny Tales

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly decide to take to Twitch after a day of drinking and playing Yahtzee. Josh won the the new Sunday Funday Yahtzee belt. The Astros swept the Mariners and now the Sea Men can climb back in their hole. A Philly media dope asked a dumb question of a player and got a stupid answer. Our friends PK and DK decided to call and shit went off the rails. The gang share stories of online porn, self pleasure and chat rooms. It was a wild one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy everybody and welcome in to the Josh Ennis Show. Lower your camera a little bit, Jilly. It's too high. We came in after our Friday party and the camera was like on the floor. Well, nobody could see my boobs anyway because- I know, but it just looked weird. It looked odd. I figured you wanted them to see the boobs.

Well, up a little bit now. There you go. That a baby. It's Josh and Jilly. Got to tell you about Dr. Busby and ToeGrips.com. That is ToeGrips.com with our friend Dr. Busby. She'll get you taken care of for all your puppy needs. One year ago, we were in South Carolina visiting Dr. Busby.

What a time it was. It was great. I love that place. That is Beaufort, South Carolina, where they filmed the film, many of the scenes in the film, Forrest Gump and other things there as well. And there's a restaurant named Luther's. Yep, and we went there with Dr. Busby because Dr. Busby rules. But we're glad you guys are with us.

Got to tell you, though, Dr. Busby and ToeGrips.com, great place to go if you need information about anything going on with your dog, right? Like, let's say your dog's scratching too much. Like, why is my dog scratching too much? What do I need to do? Well, what you need to do is go to toegrips.com, and I bet Dr. Busby has a story about that or a blog about that. I bet she's got a blog about your dog licking too much, your dog sniffing too much, whatever. It doesn't matter. Dr. Busby's got you covered at toegrips.com. And of course, you can use the promo code LUTHER on ToeGrips.com. And good news for that, if you do use the promo code LUTHER, you will save 10% if you decide to

make a purchase at ToeGrips.com. That is ToeGrips.com. And of course, LUTHER is the word that you need to use. But anything you need at toegrips.com, all the information about the pups, all the information about the do-it-yourself nail trimming, all the information, it's all there. So check it out. Why not? toegrips.com.

That is toegrips.com. The promo code is Luther to save 10%. Luther, do we love Dr. Busby? Look at everybody, Luther. Watch this. Luther, Luther, do you love Dr. Busby? Dr. Busby? Hell yeah, you love Dr. Busby? Look at everybody, Luther. Watch this. Luther, Luther, do you love Dr. Busby? Dr. Busby? Hell yeah, you love Dr. Busby.

It is ToeGrips.com with our friend Dr. Busby. It's Sunday night. We're drinking booze. It's National Tequila Night. I got a couple of silver bullets in front of me. Let's fucking go. This is the Josh and his show. Hello, friends.

Welcome in. Why is this happening again? I don't know. We were sitting out playing Yahtzee. Hello, friends. Welcome in. Why is this happening again? I don't know. We were sitting out playing Yahtzee. I beat you eight games in a row to win the first ever. We just got our belt in. To be fair, I beat you in the first two, so it wasn't a total sweep. But I beat you eight games in a row.

I beat you eight out of ten. You were up 2-0 in the first. This is my championship belt. I told you I was going to win. It can almost be worn as a dog collar. It is very small. But you know what? Who cares?

Because you know what that championship belt says? Sunday Funday Yahtzee Champion. Week one. Ow. Fuck, that hurt. That is leather. Ow. I am shirtless for those of you who are listening to the podcast at a later date.

Good quality. Like, I was very impressed with the quality. Ow. Ow. That hurt. Oh, wow. That is wild. Starting off with no shirt is like Undertaker and Mankind starting at the top of the Celsius,

Joe. Well, kind of, but I've been outside all damn day. What do you want me to do? All damn day. We've been outside for two hours. Well, that's all damn day relative to now, but the Astros just swept. By the way, it's not a huge accomplishment to sweep the Mariners. The Mariners suck as it relates to the Astros.

Well, apparently this is their first series win in Seattle this year. Yeah, well, guess what, bitches? We called that one. We called that one on Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, doesn't matter. Last week? Yeah. You didn't even get the song, did you? What song? I wanted Go Go Astros.

Go Go Astros! Go Go Astros. Oh yeah, baby. A big sweep. They've won five in a row since the break. Here come the Astros. Burning with desire. An offensive MW soul. Here come the Astros.

Green and orange fire. Here come the Astros. Got winning on the mind. Here come the Astros. The boom one every time. Go Go Astros got winning on the mind. Here come the Astros. Astros number one every time. Go, go, Astros. Go, go, Astros. You know, I missed a parlay by an Alendez Diaz RBI.

That's a tough one. That's tough. I had the hard one. I had Peña to homer, and that was the second fucking hit of the game. What was that, Julie? What'd you have? I had Peña to homer, and that happened second, you know, hit of the game. Yeah.

And then I had a fromber to strikeout six. That was pretty easy. Yeah. And all I needed was Alendez to get that RBI. And he couldn't come through for you. I had two hits. Yeah, but none of them to get that RBI. And he couldn't come through for you. He had two hits. Yeah, but none of them to get the RBI in there for you. Let's crank it up.

Like, it's so hysterical. It's hysterical that, like, everybody, like, Bootsy was in Seattle. We talked to him, I think. Did you ever ask him why he just hung up so quickly? I did, actually, because he just, like, after, like, ten minutes, just abruptly, gotta go. Apparently, some friend of his that he hadn't seen in forever showed up, and he was on his way out of the ballpark or something,

so he had to stop by and say hello. I see what we've done. Yeah, I know, right? We got a huge podcast audience here ready to hear from you, Bootsy. And this is what you do? This is how you hose us, Bootsy? I mean, full disclosure, I very vaguely remember talking to PK and DK and Tassos. And you don't remember at all talking to the old dog man, do you?

Well, I remember that we called him and then we sang Motley Crue. Yep. And that's about where I lose it. Yep. Well, shit happens, man. Did we call anybody else? I don't think so. We talked to my dad.

Oh, I don't realize. Who then after that wrote the longest, most depressing Facebook post in history. Yeah, apparently we depressed him. I guess we did because all of a sudden he writes a long story about how his mom didn't give a shit that he won some trophy or something. I'm like, poor dad. But he got like 500 likes, so I'm sure he's fine. I'm sure that'll hold him over for a few days.

Let's see. Let me send this out. we are live on twitch drinking tequila again full disclosure as predicted i woke up saturday yesterday and i was like oh fuck i felt it i did not throw up all day which was impressive yeah but i felt it you are just like you're fine woke up i was just i hung out all day i'm like can you go to taco bell and i did and yeah it's batch here 2295 that 15 bet on alvarez julio went green for us you right go hogs go hey go hogs go hogs that was a good one yeah that was the next morning i'm like fuck yeah fifty dollars yeah good win make sure i get this out there. That's not my picture. But anyway, so we're glad you guys are with us today. This might be the podcast for tomorrow.

I don't know. We might do one tomorrow, too. Who knows? We just had a little bit of beer outside, did some shots outside, and we decided, hey, let's come in here and have a good time with our people because we love you guys so damn much. And we've got some extra. I just got this bottle of Sammy here.

Yeah, we did replenish. We did replenish. Because, I don't know, I'm sure we told you, but again, don't remember, we finished the tequila. Yep. And you went in here to clean up yesterday because I'm like, I'm not cleaning up. I can't move. Like, you do it.

Yep. And you walk in here and you find wasp spray and vodka. Yeah. Oh, and not only only the vodka was the one like I look and I go wait a second did we shoot vodka too like I walk in I go there's a vodka bottle in there and it was

full before that and it had a third of it gone already like somebody help me understand help me understand it I know at some point I walked out and I took my makeup off and stuff and I changed. And then we went to take Luther outside. And again, I've said this nine times.

The hill, the yard is a hill. I was hammered and I stumbled down the hill a bit. The next morning I woke up, my flip flops were still outside. I'd say though, man. And I think I asked you to carry me in because I couldn't walk up the hill. I don't remember that. That did not happen. Yes, it did.

And you said no. That did not happen. And then I crawled up the hill. Ace Gilmore says, Jilly singing is the last thing I remember. I don't remember that. You don't remember that? I remember us singing, but I don't remember you singing. Oh, we fucking rocked it.

We sang Home Sweet Home, and I was fucking into it. Well, here's the thing about that. What we learned is that there are a lot of shitty lyrics to Motley Crue songs. Because those songs suck when you look at the actual lyrics. There's been twice on this podcast where I've gotten sing like Josh level hammered. Yeah. And one was Friday singing Home Sweet Home. And then the other was about two years ago when we sang Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Oh, we did that? Yeah. Shit, we rule. I hate to brag about us, but we're what you would call couple goals. I think everybody looks at this, they're like, hey, is there a fat guy without a shirt on? Is there his hot wife? Did they sing Motley Crue drunkenly on Friday? Without concealer on, you can see the dark circles under my eyes? Did they do that?

Yeah, they did. Yeah, they did. So anyway. No fucks given that should be the podcast as you guys know on national tequila day if we get to 100 bucks we do a shot we did buy a new bottle of santo tequila from we bought the mezquila we got the mezquila this time it is very tasty i don't like mezcal but um anyway so there were some other things going on in the world today so how we bought that was because we were both like, oh, let's not do shots today.

Yep. And then Sammy posted a video of him singing Mas Tequila. Yep. Also, where's the... The what? The square. What square? That's on my microphone normally.

I don't know. Did you lose it? I don't know. It's somewhere. Did you throw it away? Huh. That is a mic flag is what they call that, Jellie. What did you do? I don't know.

It's somewhere in here, I guess. I know we always be sticking on the back there. We put a P.K. and D.K. sticker. We talked to them for a while. And Tassos. Let me tell you though, guys, I fucking love you guys. You're beautiful people. Wow, that's a mystery. It's somewhere. We'll find it. That's not the biggest concern

we have right now. Oh, you found it? All right, Jilly found it. Josh, I'll be at the West in Nashville from Wednesday to Saturday. Come let me buy you a beer, says Jilly's side piece. It's possible. Maybe. Hey, we are going to be downtown Saturday. Oh, well, yes.

Wednesday to Saturday. Well, are you going to be there Saturday afternoon? Because we are going to be downtown for the wrestling match on Saturday. So there's that. Is your Yahtzee belt really as small as it looks? Yes, friend. I don't know, Scott A1979. You tell me if it's as small as it looks.

I look like I'm about to go into some dominatrix shit. Wrestling belt. You told me it was small. I didn't know it would fit a fucking bunny rabbit. Okay, wrestling belts are expensive. This is like legit, though. I know. It's leather.

It's gold-plated. It's really nice. You know what I'm going to do? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to throw this shit on my shoulder and take this to the wrestling match on Saturday. Harold says the dono isn't working. Why is the dono not? That's no way that's true.

Everybody restart your shit like we did on Friday. Let's see. Does it work? Yeah, it works for us. So let me know. Hey, listen, man. I ain't sitting here trying to beg you guys for cash. I love you guys.

If you want to throw in a couple bucks, throw in a couple bucks. You guys rule. Love you guys very much. You're the best people we cash. I love you guys. If you want to throw in a couple bucks, throw in a couple bucks. You guys rule. Love you guys very much. You're the best people we know. We love you very, very much. I just noticed, like, it'll tell you who put in how much over time. Yeah, we got some fucking loyal-ass people, man.

We got some loyal fucking people. Spank it, slap it. You are hammered a lot. Yep, but you know what? You're hammered and you love the show. And we love you for it. Dr. Gregg and Topstinger, we love you guys. You guys are very awesome.

Wait, that's not just like one day, is it? No, no. If you notice, look up in the right there. It says month. Oh, month. Oh, that's better. Yeah. All time.

Now you know. I didn't pop up for all time. But anyway, we appreciate all of you guys. You guys are the best. Spank It, Crilla, Brad Hall, Dr. Greg, Joe Har, M.W. Sogro. You guys rule we truly dr greg top stinger brad hall america steve also you guys are awesome we love you guys so yeah oh boy you guys there you go you guys are you guys are fucking awesome like i've honestly

considered like real talk when it comes to like sponsorships and stuff for the podcast because you know we're dissolving the business, hopefully starting tomorrow once I figure it out. Oh, fuck, Dr. Greg is here again. Oh, shit, he's here. Yeah, we have this. He is, oh, shit. We have this.

Dr. Greg, oh, my God, that's Dr. Greg's music. Holy shit, that's Dr. Greg's music. Oh, no. And I got to go to work tomorrow. I could wear this fucking belt as a crown. Like a princess. Tequila, we could. Oh, no. And I got to go to work tomorrow. I could wear this fucking belt as a crown. Like a princess. We could. Oh, no.

Sammy made us. Oh, no. Oh, dear. To be completely. Dr. Craig's Music. It's Dr. Craig's Music. To be completely honest, we weren't going to do shots, as I said. And then we saw that Sammy video.

And we're like, well, fuck. And then I felt guilty because we didn't do Sammy tequila on Friday. We drank a whole bottle of the Rocks tequila. And we are loyal to the Santo, well, fuck. And then I felt guilty because we didn't do Sammy tequila on Friday. We drank a whole bottle of The Rock's tequila and we are loyal to the Santo. Oh, shit. Scott A. said, I'd love to contribute to the donors. My van's trans is crapping out,

so either replace the trans or pay for a new car. I feel you, man. Hey, bro, I ain't trying to... Dude, I feel you. The pressure's never on for you guys to dono. No, we love you guys. No matter what.

You have the means. It's mostly... It's very appreciated. I was actually thinking about this, too. Really drunk. To give back to everybody because I love you guys so damn much. I'm thinking about about and i don't know if we're going to be able to make it into town i hope we are at some point but i want to do a big get together with everybody

like a catered thing like you know the dude from kobo's queue they're always they're great they're awesome and i was messaging with him and really i'm like wouldn't that be cool if we all got together it's close to the ballpark we just have a watch party down there for either the Astros or Texans or whatever. What if we try to go for the playoffs? Maybe we will. Maybe we get our asses down there for the postseason, and I'll get us all some food and shit, and we hang out down someplace like Cobo's Q or something and just fucking crush, man.

That would be awesome. That would be an awesome time for everybody. Yeah, because even if we don't go to the game, we can at least watch it with them, right? Yeah, totally. My plan would be to not go to the game. It would be to hang out with everybody over at Cobos Q, and maybe a road playoff game. Oh, what about that?

That'd be fun. Like a road playoff watch party, and it would be awesome. So, you know, we're going to work on that, because I truly do, and I mean this. I love you guys so damn much. I miss our people. I love you. You guys keep the show going.

Like, I've considered just abandoning the sponsorship approach and just, hey, we have one or two big parties a month, whatever we make from that, that's what we make. I don't know. I don't know what we're going to do. So, again, the PK approach. Well, not necessarily. Honestly not, but here's the reason why, because we're dissolving our business anyway. And I feel like you do have a little bit more freedom to do truly, like have no worries, whatever, if you don't have sponsors.

I'm not going to do that more than likely, but it was just an idea, you know, because I love you guys. I love hanging out with you guys. I love the fact that you guys love the show. I love that you guys are fucking loyal. I think it's awesome. I think it's killer. I think we have a good time.

I think we're the best of friends. We're the three best friends that anyone can have. No, I mean, in our drunkenness on Friday, I mean, we had close to 100 watching the whole night. How about that? It was very, very strange. Dude, that is something. Like, I was looking at that, and, like, all throughout the night, we're talking to whomever we're talking to, and we're close to 100.

And I know that doesn't sound like a lot if you're Pat McAfee and there's 100,000 people watching at one time. Spoiler alert, we're not Pat McAfee. But we're not. That's what I'm saying. If you're some big-timer, we're trying to build this this motherfucker you know we got a brand uh change coming up here soon got a lot of shit going on man so we're doing what we can joe yubius says love the show you guys are very entertaining you're entertaining joe we love you man ah so the astros swept that series which was very predictable because everybody was so hyped up here's the thing

like everybody talked about how many tickets they sold in Seattle. It sure didn't look like those games were sold out. I feel like that was a bit of a lie. I mean, after the first one, it kind of all just went downhill. And then I feel like today, once Altuve and then Peña hit the home runs, people are like, I'm not even going in.

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that was it. But today, it didn't look like anybody was there and then you start looking at some of the other like the the Saturday game it didn't look like it was full it wasn't Saturday was the biggest crowd they had and like they got their little hopes up and hey we're Seattle we won 14 games in a row we got seven in a row coming up or seven out of ten coming up against the Astros look out you sons of bitches and then they got swept at home so you can only imagine what's going to happen when shit goes the other way yeah they got four at Minute Maid I think well the Astros go to play the A's for three and then

they come home and they have the Mariners and they have four and I mean like Seattle's dead now how many games back are they now like 13 14 games I think they were still like 11 back when the series started. So they're in all sorts of trouble now. I mean, they're going to try to get into the wild card. I don't know how I feel about this extra wild card. Let's play the wild card. You guys play the Astros at some point. I kind of like the way the wild card was set

up where, you know what, if you don't win your division, you're punished and you have to play a one game playoff. I kind of like that. I know. I kind of like the other way. Okay. So Seattle's 13 back. Yeah. I mean, it's that they're done.

So, I mean, the Astros came in there. Then that means they were what? 10 games up and it could have become a seven game one. And then you go, okay, that's something. Astros came in there and it really wasn't that competitive. So way to go. Astros beat that ass, baby. That's what they do.

That's what I can't wait for the playoffs I'm so ready for the playoffs Let's get the playoffs I mean I'll tell you This podcast on like nights of the playoffs Even though I gotta get my ass up You know 5 in the morning 4 in the morning

My ass is gonna be on here Into the wee hours of the morning baby We're gonna be crushing We're gonna be styling and profiling I'm gonna be flashing my championship belt My Yahtzee Sunday Funday championship belt. The good news for you is that they're going to have a bye in that first round. Yes, they will.

So I'll have a little bit of time to sleep. But there will be a bye, no doubt. No, but I would love to go to Houston for a playoff game. And if we could time it, we can go to a Texans game as well. Even again, if we don't go to the game, that's fine. I just want to be in Houston for the Astros playoff run. Yeah, we got to try to go there for a couple days.

I don't know. I got to talk to the boss. Do you think that you could convince Sparky to drop a Josh Innes show in the locker room? Well, maybe. I think he would. He loves us. Scott A. said, just poured my first shot of tequila and yes it's the Rocks brand. Look at Scott A. He's ready to go. Honestly, I mean

hangover and all, it was really good tequila. It was. It was. It was totally, yeah. Does our donor link actually not work? Like, multiple people have asked. I don't know. Does it not? I think it does.

I mean, it should work. It worked the other night. Like, for whatever reason, I mean, we clicked on it, and when we click on it, we see it pop up. So that's weird. I don't know. You can feel free to throw in a couple bucks just to test it out? Big fan of shirtless Twitch sessions. Thank you, T Simmons 420.

I enjoy being shirtless. I feel free. Yeah, it's funny because we'll come in here and there's like five shirts. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Mine isn't post. Let's see.

Mine won't let me pass the PayPal. That's weird. Huh. post. Let's see. Mine won't let me pass the PayPal. That's weird. Huh, strange. I can try. Let me try something else for you there, Harold. I don't know what the dealio is. I can't paste anything, I guess. Yeah, I don't know why that's the case.

That's weird. Very strange. No idea why any of that isn't working. But hey, I don't know. It worked for some people the other night and some people it didn't. I don't know. Somebody give it a shot. Throw in like two bucks and see if it works. But either way, whatever. But a hundred bucks

means a shot. We got a brand new bottle of tequila. We don't give a fuck. You think we give a fuck? We're just out here partying with you guys because we fucking love you guys. Yeah, I can't donate either. Really? Why is it not working? Same thing. Like I click donate, donate, donate and go past. Okay, if you hold on. I think you have to do the one in the Same thing. Like, I click donate, donate, donate, and go past. Okay, if you, hold on.

I think you have to do the one in the top right. If you click the donate on the bottom, it doesn't work. Oh. Josh, how's the diet going? I've been to the gym five days in a row. I doubt I've lost any weight, but, I mean, I've gone to the gym five days in a row. Tomorrow's going to make six weekdays. Testes says, there's a donut, a $5 donut.

Okay, that's great because I can't do it. Weird, but thank you, Testes. Appreciate you. That's weird. Did you see the thing that all the Philly McDougals were all worked up over as this dude, Nick Castellanos, was asked a horrifically bad question, by the way, by Jim Salisbury. I don't know why people think Jim Salisbury is worth a shit. He's basically just a glorified sideline reporter for the Phillies on NBC. But so Nick

Castellano struck out with a runner at third in a 1-1 game last night in the midst of a series in which the Phillies got swept by the Cubs. And you know how Philadelphia is. Philadelphia gets into this weird world where, like, basically they blame one person for all their issues. The media people will do it. The fans will do it. They follow the media's lead and they do all that shit. Thank you, Harold, Scott and testes for throwing in a couple bucks. You guys rule. It works. Thank you guys. So here's the thing. So Philly people, their weird thing that they do is they blame one person for all of the issues. The team just got swept by the Cubs, yet it's all Nick Castellanos' fault, even though they scored one damn run against the Cubs the other night. But that's how they operate.

Well, so Nick Castellanos was asked a question. It's a horrific question because as a media person, as someone who interviews, you do not ask yes or no questions. Like you don't because if you ask a yes or no question, you are basically hoping that the person you are asking the question to carries the interview. That's what you hope happens. Now, he got booed, I guess, after he struck out. The question from this Jim Salisbury was, did you hear the boos? That's a yes or no question, and you know he fucking heard the boos, you dickhead.

Of course he did. So the better question then would have been, how did you feel? How did that make you feel? Do you understand where the fans are coming from? Why they're angry? You're making a lot of money, and you kind of suck. How do you feel about that?

Which I also love how fucking fans get all worked up over how much money somebody is making. They all make a shitload of money. Who cares? Now what it's turned into is that Nick Castellanos just can't handle the Philly. Oh my God, these people are imbeciles. The idea that these players can't handle the Philly media. No, you ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. Like this was not a case of, oh my God, he has such a tough question

and this pussy can't handle it. No, it was a shitty question. All you had to do was say, hey, like, how do you feel about the fans booing you? Do you feel like you've lived up to what they're paying you? Those are all fine questions because, like, hey, how do you feel about the way you're doing? Do you think you're, like,

how do you feel about how you've played compared to what you would get paid? Whatever. But to ask a yes or no question and an obvious fucking answer, you're an whatever but to ask a yes or no question and an obvious fucking answer you're an asshole you're a shitty interviewer and i don't care all these people that are coming at me with oh my god jim salisbury's a legend i don't give a fuck about jim salisbury angelo's a fucking legend which by the way angelo was great on the radio broadcast

today with the phillies that was fucking hysterical but like angelo is a fucking legend you know who's not a legend? The fucking sideline reporter for the fucking Phillies. No one gives a fuck. Also, Denise would like to know if they can call us really quick right now. To call us? Yeah, they're on with Dorian. I can. My phone's almost dead.

But yeah, like on the phone. If they want to call my phone, they can. I mean, I don't know how much juice it's got left, but we'll give it a shot. Boy, shit's getting wild now. Boy, I didn't know we were going in this direction already. Boy, this podcast kicks ass. Boy, I am shirtless, and we're having a good time tonight.

Yeah, so they're going to call us right now. But, oh, my God, Angelo was so fucking. You guys know I love Angelo. You do. He's your favorite. He's my favorite radio person ever. You do love him. And I am a radio person, and I am Angelo. You do. He's your favorite. He's my favorite radio person ever. You do love him. And I am a radio person, and I am married to a radio person.

And Angelo's the best. It was funny. I'm laughing my balls off. Oh, my God. He was so good. CEO for show is in the building. What's happening, big dog? Josh, is your mom coming in for SummerSlam?

No, she's not. I couldn't get the damn radio station to find her in her damn cash. Well, thank God she's not, because as of now, Drew does not have a match, and she would be very upset. Yeah, she'd be sad. I think she'd be very let down by that. So you said they're calling the phone, right? Yeah, I just said to call your phone.

All right, cool. So if they call, we'll answer. PK and DK, boy, we've already got a party going tonight. Where are we at right now? Where's MW Soulgrove? We need 65 more for our first shot of the night. Let's fucking go. The party's on, baby. You know where M. Soulgrove? We need 65 more for our first shot of the night. Let's fucking go. The party's on, baby.

You know where M.W. Soulgrove is. Where? Is there a Trump rally? Or is there our conversation Friday? He was at a cross burning. Is that where he was? Oh, man, your mom rocks. We've got to get mom on the pod, unless we did already on Friday, and I don't remember.

I don't think we had Tams on on Friday. It's very possible we did, and I don't remember it at all. But, yeah Tams on on Friday. It's very possible we did and I don't remember it at all but yeah Mama's great and I would love to bring her to SummerSlam and I asked the radio station I'm like we could bring her in she'd do a wacky bit where she interviews all the people on Radio Row at the at the the the wrestling it'd be funny but nobody did. Did you hear about the new Woody Harrelson movie about Yacht Rock? Sort of Gamma like I've heard that there's an idea for something like that but I have no idea what the plot is but I saw a story about that the other day no it's funny as your mom's like do you guys have SummerSlam tickets I'm like I'm pretty sure like battle has it figured out like it's fine she goes well I'll buy you some I'm like

for what for Josh's birthday I'm like okay Josh will be upset if you buy him mom I would I would I would I would emancipate if you were to buy me tickets to see wrestling for my birthday. Like, I've gotten my mom, you know, we got her tickets for a cruise once back when your boy was flush with that cash. I would give her money for a cruise. I would do that. I would be extremely upset if my mom one day was like, hey, happy birthday. I just spent hundreds of dollars on you to go see SummerSlam for your birthday. First of all, you don't have to give me anything for my birthday.

Second of all, I'd be very upset if you spent tons of cash on me to go to SummerSlam for my birthday. Yep. Our hotel is ready, though. So hopefully battle comes through. Scott A says, Arenado and Goldschmidt can't play in Toronto because they're evil and killing babies by not being vaxxed. And I'm a fan of the Cardinals, as you know, and that doesn't bother me. You know why?

Because Arenado and Goldschmidt have essentially carried the Cardinals. So like somebody asked a question, how do the other players probably feel about this? I honestly don't give a fuck how they feel because if not for Arenado and Goldschmidt, the Cardinals lineup would be basically a triple-A lineup is what you'd be dealing with, and they'd be probably 13 or 14 games out of first place. So if those guys decided not to put a vaccine in their body and if they feel it would fuck with them or hurt them in some way

and they chose not to, that's their fucking choice. I'm so tired of people bitching about other things that other people do. Do you want me to have them call my iPhone? I have 90%. I can Bluetooth on the board, too. I'd have to take my Bluetooth off. How much battery do you have? I have, let me see here. I have, I don't even know.

It's less than 20%. I'll turn my Bluetooth off for now. Dr. Greg, there's in 65. Oh, Dr. Greg said first shot of the night, baby. And Battle is here and says, I do have confirmation your tickets are good. Oh, boy. Tammy will not have to. Yep there's battle he's here too i think i should be connected all right well tell them to try to call and we'll see and we'll we'll see so it's first shot of the night kiddos first shot of the night for the wacky crew thank you dr greg boy what i love you guys so damn much.

You're the best people in the world. No, you guys are fantastic. I can't believe I'm doing tequila again. It's ridiculous. I know. Can we get Mom? You want to get Mom on the show? She's probably asleep.

Yeah, she might be. It's 734 on a Sunday. She's probably asleep. Tams maybe have to be like a 530 pod. Yeah, we'll have to do that maybe the next time we do one. Oh, God. All right, here we go, Jilly.

We're doing tequila. Monster tequila. Monster tequila. Oh, and I got to get up and go to work tomorrow? Oh, no. Okay, I'm back. I'm back. I'm back.

Oh, God. Oh, God. At least we've only had to do one. I have to get up at 405, you monsters. I have to get up at 4.05, you monsters. I have to get up at 4.05. Maybe 4.20. Who knows? Oh, boy.

Oh, my nippies is hard. Boy, that is a... Dr. Greg, thank you. Hey, Battle, can we not do, like, four tequila shots before SummerSlam? Battle ain't going to do anything. Give me a fucking break. Last time, like last time I had for Battle is that we were talking shit. Give me a break.

And then Battle showed up and then we did, you and I did one and us all did one together. Oh, he ain't doing shit. I don't know. Is Chuck coming? Oh, our listener Chuck? Yeah. No, probably not. Battle, is Chuck coming?

I don't know, but Battle says his podcast co-host is going to be there. Does he drink tequila? Should I be concerned? I don't know but battle says his podcast co-hosts is uh gonna be there does he drink tequila who knows i don't know they're wrestling dorks they probably don't shoot anything they're children did you show him your belt i a battle did you see my belt yeah you wish you wish you had one of these that could fit around your dog's neck this way that my wife got for our party just like alexa bliss does look at this. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But anyway, I am the Yahtzee champion right fucking now. Who's more thickly built, Josh Ennis or Daniel Vogelbach? Dude, Daniel Vogelbach is a, like that dude, like he, I think he's shorter than me, but that's the dude that plays, what does he play for, Milwaukee? Does Vogelbach still play for Milwaukee? That dude is like stout. Stout, I say. I'm more built like Bartolo Colon,

but taller. I think I'm like taller Bartolo Colon. Who's the dude? Oh, you know who I'm thinking of that plays for Milwaukee? Rowdy Tellez. I'm guessing he's like German. Rowdy Tellez I'm guessing he's like German Rowdy Tellez That dude is like fat Oh yeah The dude from Milwaukee Anybody know who I'm talking about? Rowdy Tellez He's a large dude

Battle says I'll show you that I can throw down Especially if Mrs. Battle on Air is driving I don't believe this at all She's going to be at the wrestling match. Finally. Yep, she's going to be there. She's going to be at the wrestling get-together, so buckle up. Is your child coming?

He seems cool, too. No, I don't think their kid's coming. But you know what we should do? We should send Battle's kid out to, like, Wrestling Radio Row and have him interview wrestlers. I would love to see that. All he does is tell people they suck all the time. Like, you know what? You suck.

Like, he'd walk up to, like, I don't know, Braun Strowman and be like. He doesn't even wrestle. Whatever. Then he would walk up to Rowdy Piper and he would say, you know what? You suck. Yes. I think that would be fantastic. So, we'll see.

But anyway. Well, I'm excited for Saturday. Well, I know you are. And you know what? The weather seems like it's going to be decent. It's not going to be 100 degrees. We mocked battle because you got in the car and you're like, battle says it's going to be 83 on Saturday. And I looked at the forecast.

It still said like 92. I'm like, I don't know what he's talking about. And you're like, battle probably can't read. Which, I mean, is believable. But then the next day I looked at the weather and fucking 83. He knows. He's got a gift. He's clairvoyant.

Texans rookie diagnosed with leukemia. Man, that sucks. Talk about a shit break for this kid. Like, he was hurt. And then he's got leukemia. Menchie, right? Yeah. And then the Texans.

Menchie. And then the Texans. I think they have to lead the league in players they've drafted with cancer, right? Like, the one dude. What was the David? What was the fella's name? Quessenberry. He had cancer. And then now this guy does.

I got it. What? What the fuck? What are you guys doing? Because I like, I'm comfortable this way and this room is hot. That's why I'm shirtless and I look fucking good. I look fucking good. I am topless and beautiful. I'm comfortable this way And this room is hot That's why I'm shirtless And I look fucking good I look fucking good

I am topless and beautiful I'm big and beautiful BBW baby I'm a BBW I like your confidence I love that I love that about you You've kept me deaf

We were just talking about Because Geraint just keeps knocking Every time he comes over And the dog goes crazy And I'm like, just walk in. He's scared to walk in until he's like, you know, bottomless or something. It's kind of like going to the locker room. Not whatever.

Just bottomless. Bottomless, yeah. Sometimes I walk around bottomless. Got to get a brief. Which one of you walks around bottomless? PK? Yeah. Oh.

You know what? I'd like to walk in on that. I'm curious. You know, bottomless. Got to walk in on that. I'm curious. I'm here for it. I'm signing up for seeing PK Schmeckle. I'm here for it. We'll see which one of us has a

droopier scrotum. I would imagine the two of us are a whole lot of balls Are a whole lot of balls A whole lot of beans and not a lot of Frank That's what I'm guessing That would be correct That would be 100% correct And you're almost to that age where you're going to be

Stepping on your balls soon I'm getting there That's what we do What we do is we both get on there And we measure whose balls droop the most. And whoever guesses the right one wins a car. I don't know if I could mentally come back from that, though. There's certain things that you hate.

Boy, shit's going to get wild in Atlanta, then. Dude, when we go to Atlanta in a couple weeks, all of a sudden our scrotums are going to be, whose scrotum is closer to their knees? What up? Hey, what are you all doing? It's National what day? What is it? Tequila.

It's National Tequila Day. Let's celebrate. We got to celebrate that. Let's celebrate that-ish. What are you doing? We've already done a shot, man. What are you doing? Well, we're about to cap shop, but the problem is that we don't have any tequila, so we just have to pretend that vodka is tequila.

How do you not know that it's National Tequila Day? You're basically an alcoholic like us. I don't keep up with the National Tequila Day. I don't think that we can you listen to my top three stories. I try to ignore you when I can. Well, then, obviously, Denise doesn't have social media anymore, so it's hard. Dude, I'm crazy as hell. I know.

You know what it is? You know the fake recognition stuff? Everybody's like, it's so cool. Look, you know, all my pictures come up. You know, fake recognizes me. She just wanted to start another Facebook. And Mark Robotman Zuckerberg said, nah, you can't have another one. Dang, they're going to let you start a new one?

Nah. We have to start one with like a fake picture. We're going to have to burn half our face by two pictures. That's what the algorithm is going to do. It's got to do, yeah. Hey, Mark Zuckerberg can kiss everybody's ass. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg. I don't get it, man.

I don't get it. Out of everybody, you got bad? You get bad? How'd you get it, man. I don't get it. I don't know if everybody's got fans. He gets fans. How does he get fans? What? I can't hear you. What? Hang on.

Let me move the phone over here. I can't hear anybody. Can you hear me? Hold on. There you go. What are you doing? Okay, now we got you. All right.

All right, so we got a shot here. We got a shot. Oh, we're doing a shot together? Yeah. All right, Jimmy, give me your here. We got a shot. Are we doing a shot together? All right, Jelly, give me your glass. Give me your glass, Jelly. Everybody on the shot, throw in some donuts. Everybody, we're doing another shot.

Do you guys know that we finished the whole bottle of tequila on Friday? Whoa. And I walked in to clean up on Saturday, and there was a bottle of vodka that was almost half empty. So we really did some damage. I got to ask a question. Is this information true? Because, you know, people exaggerate from time to time.

But I heard that y'all were doing a Twitch show, and you just passed out. Oh, we've done that before. Oh, dude, I've totally fallen. Dude, I've done Twitch because I'm going to tell you what our record is. So during the COVIDs, the longest time we were ever on Twitch was over nine hours. You were on Twitch. I went to bed.

I was on Twitch from like eight o'clock at night to about four in the morning. And I think I just fell asleep while I was on Twitch. Were people actually watching? Oh God, yeah. I'm not saying it's a ton, but there were people that were still hanging out watching. Totally.

You say that's only the one time. There's been many a time that you've fallen asleep on the internet. Oh, yeah, but I'm talking about the time we were on for nine hours. The time we were on for nine hours was lit. Now, you went to sleep well. You say we. I think Jelly fell asleep and went to bed after five hours, and I stayed on for another four. Like, hey, rock and roll.

Let's sing some yacht rock let's do this shit what in the hell are you looking at what's the topics at hand when you're well you know before passing out uh mostly just singing yacht rock songs see here's what happens i get drunk enough to start playing music that i'm not supposed to play because it's licensed and then i'll sing it and then the next day i wake up and our pot and our video will have nothing but red lines through it to indicate that i've played licensed music so the nine hours i'd say that four and a half of those hours had a giant red line through them i would seriously check the uh the people that were watching for the nine hours not saying they're bad people but you might want to, you know,

just make sure they don't sneak into your house and kill you one of these nights. Most of them are still here, and I don't believe they're going to kill me. It only takes one job. It only takes one guy that's like, oh, I was waiting for nine hours, it's 15 minutes. That's true.

Maybe, you know what, I'm not worried. I think they're totally normal folks for the most part. We had a question in our chat that asked, Brad Hall wants to know, is Tassos gone? Oh my God. Dude, it's tough, man. I don't know how you guys are with your pops, but

you know. My dad's just mostly depressed because he hasn't won an award in a while and then just posts long Facebook posts about how he's sad about not winning awards. Yeah, they don't come to visit us. Oh, God, no. There's not a chance in hell my dad would ever come visit here with his wife. My parents will not leave. My mom might.

My mom would be the one that's most likely to come here. But my dad and my stepmom, there ain't no way they'd come here. We were lucky they came to Houston for my going away party there. But they stayed at a hotel. Yeah, they were like, we're not staying with you. And I don't blame them. I wouldn't want way they'd come here. We were lucky they came to Houston for my going away party there. But they stayed at a hotel. Yeah, they were like, we're not staying with you. And I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to stay with us either. We don't have another bed.

Our extra bedroom is a radio station, basically. Ace says, I remember Friday, PK talking about losing his green card. You lost your green card? Back in the day, yeah. Back in the day. And all he had to do was find one form. That's it. Oh, God. That whole argument about the damn all he had to do was find one form. That's it. Oh, God.

That whole argument about the damn form ruined dinner and drinks. It didn't ruin it for me. For six hours. That's all you guys talked about was this form. Well, I don't... It worked. It cost me $10,000 to be, you know, to defend myself here. I'm going to be a little pissed off.

Little miss, I don't know how money works over there. She's like, why are you guys buying this? I'm not buying this store. It was 10 grand. 10 grand. And then he threw it around on me. He was like, you know, there were a couple of arguments that I was getting heated. Because my dad rewrites history, and then Denise buys into it.

So now everybody thinks that I'm crazy. I have to go through this shit. Well, give me an example. Like, what history does she rewrite? Well, I mean, there was a dog. The dog story. Oh, the dog. Okay, so my dad.

My dad had a dog, right? Big dog. I never picked up after it. So the dog, I came back from school. The dog was gone. I'm like, what the hell? And he was like, yeah, it ran away. It was like a sad, it was a whole sad thing, right?

Give it like two weeks. I'm walking down the street and it's in our neighbor's backyard. Like, I don't know, four or five houses down. I called the dog. It comes to me. I pet it. I run back home. I'm like, Dad, I found the dog.

It's there. I pet it. He's like, no, no, no. Different dog. Shut up. I'm like, he gave the, I find out later he gives the dog away. And so during this script, he flips dog. And he was like, we never had a dog like that. Yeah, we never had an all black dog.

And we never did. Like, what? What motherfucker? You gave it away. And then you, like, what? He re-solved a story about a dog named Hillary. Yeah, he changed the dog's name and completely, like. Dude, I love the man to death.

Don't get me wrong. But, you know, it's a little... Oh, fuck. That's great. Tassos is a woman. Oh, Tassos rules. It's easy to say someone rules when they're not your dad.

So all their eccentric shit is funny. You're like, oh, that's fucking hysterical. Like, everybody knows my dad. They're like, oh, your dad's the funny... Yeah, because he's a fucking wacko. That's why you guys love him so much.

I learned... One day, I came home and I had a C in science. And he was like, oh, you want to go to space? You want to be astronaut? Write the whole science book. I had blisters.

I had blisters on my finger from copying the science book. Over dinner, what was it, Friday night? He's like, no, I just made you copy three, four pages. I'm like, what? What? Have you ever seen the PK Space Camp photo? It's really good. No!

This sounds like the greatest thing ever. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's very, yeah. It does not exist. I'll be right by it later. It definitely does exist. We brought our shots, by the way.

Hey, hey. If Mark can take Denise's Facebook down, I sure as hell can take that picture down. Denise texted it to me. Wow. Wow. All right. Let's do a cheer. We've got to do the cheers. I'm not going to do the cheers. Oh, yeah. We've got a shot. Oh, we're doing shots. All right, let's do it. We've got to do the cheers. I'm not going to do the cheers.

Oh, yeah, we've got to do the shots. Oh, we're doing shots. Tequila! National Tequila Day. Ba-bam, ba-ba-bam, ba-bam. Ba-ba-bam. Oh, Jelly just did it. Jeez, Jelly, you just hammered that shit.

I didn't know we were doing it just then. Oh, you look so sad. I didn't want to wait. All right, well, I'm doing it. Hey, we're doing it now. What are we cheersing to? Atlanta in like a month. We're going to be in Atlanta in a month

for the PK and DK show. Yes, everyone come out. That's all. We'll all be back together. You know, on the 30th, you're going to be like, never again. Yeah. Do you guys still have tickets left for that show? Oh, God.

Well, geez. You know, they're, this is not the best vodka, and I did bring a case here. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I should probably not ever pour that vodka again. Why would you buy that vodka? You bought, you see that for two? Oh, dear.

You want mine? No. That sounds bad. This was left over from like a couple months ago. What kind of vodka was it? Friars. It's a plastic bottle. Oh, no. That's in a plastic.

Does it have a handle? No. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. No, it's please come to Florida. Yes, maybe do.

Maybe buy a plastic bottle. Oh, no. A plastic bottle? Who does that? One of the greatest parties we ever, like, was a show party that we ever did was, and this is how stupid I am, right? So I came up with this idea of, like, hey, you know, what was that? Was it Black Melvin? Yeah, Black Velvet.

The Velvet Melvin. The Velvet Melvin. No, but we bought like a gallon of this stuff, right? And then I made like, back in the day, when you had to listen to CDs, I made like a mix CD and I would throw in the hook from Black, you know, that Black Velvet song? Oh, Atlanta Miles, Black Velvet, if you please.

Yeah, but it didn't click in my mind that I'm putting it in like eight, nine times within an hour. So, like, you know, and everybody, the minute it came on out of nowhere, everybody had to run and take a shot. And if you came in the last place, you had to take three shots. But, like, two hours deep, everybody had done, like, I don't know how many shots, like 18 shots or something.

At least, yeah. 18? Shit. Well, I remember, like, the last shot game,, one of the shot games I played with you, PK, and Denise was we were watching that Oregon game and every time that still the one Oregon duck mascot commercial came on in 2011, we did a shot. And if you watch anything on ESPN, you know they play the same fucking promos and the same commercials over and over again. So basically every commercial, this fucking duck

commercial would come on. We didn't take that through. It was either Jillian or Denise. But one of these, I'll tell you this with love, Josh, but one of these bitches, they sent in a pass out picture of me in my bathtub. They sent that in to Comcast.

I'm kidding. Wait, what happened? What happened? I passed out in the bathtub And then I think one of these two ladies They sent a picture in the Comcast Their music channel And every 10 minutes I was getting messages

From my baby everywhere It was on Thanksgiving And we were watching the Comcast thing The channel guide And it was like, send us your Thanksgiving photos. So Denise and I sent a picture of PK passed out in a bathtub. And it was on. He was on like every 10 minutes.

Oh, fuck, that's great. Oh, that rules. I'm sure we've told you guys this story, but speaking about embarrassing video things, did I ever tell you about the time that we were banging it out in my dad's pool and my dad just came out into the backyard? No.

No. So like we were in my dad's pool. We were just like going at it. My dad comes out and says, what the fuck you doing? And I'm like, oh shit. And I had a one piece on, so like it was all the way off. It was only just like bottoms off. Like it was all the way up. It wasn't just like bottoms off. Like it was obvious. And apparently I only like banging in a pool.

That's it. I don't like it any other time. I think what happens in the pool is my stretchy scrotum condenses. And no, so anyway, so like we're banging it out in the pool in my dad's backyard and he just walks outside. It's like, you know, midnight. What are you guys doing? He's like, what's going on?

No, he goes, real nice. That's all he said. He goes, real nice, and then walks back inside. And the thing is, he's got security cameras outside. He told us the next morning he has it on camera. And I'm like, I don't know. Why do you have this, you son of a bitch, you nasty bastard? nasty bastard does he still have he doesn't still have it does he uh he probably might i hope not that'd be weird you make that quick clip real quick ring let me tell you something even weirder

somebody brought this up in the chat scott in the chat brought this up i'll tell you something weirder all right and people think this is weird i don't think it's that weird you tell me all right so when i was like 12 13 years old my dad married my stepmom my stepmom was hot back in like 1997 1998 and she had like big like like hair sprayed hair like aquanet hair and shit she drove like a transam and shit she was like hot you know like 90s hot chick and for christmas one year my dad got me a video camera because I wanted to make movies. I wanted to be a director. I was like, I'm going to be Alfred Hitchcock. That's what I want to do. So he bought me a video camera for Christmas. Well, Christmas day, my dad says, Josh, I need to use the video camera. And he sets it up in his bedroom on a tripod.

And I don't know what the fuck. And'm like okay whatever i know it's gone 13 14 years old i'm a horny toad i kind of get it so it's set up at the end of his bed he leaves it set up at the end of his bed he and my stepmom leave to go somewhere so i set out on a mission and i'm like i'm gonna find this fucking video they film weird like why do you want to see that because i wanted to see my stepmom not my dad but anyway so I go I'm telling you this is a god's honest true story I would not lie to you okay this is how we got the job in Nashville this story got me this job here for whatever reason but so I walk into my dad's bedroom I'm trying to find the tape now you remember these old video cameras in the 90s they had little tiny

tapes and you would put them in a bigger tape to watch them on a VCR to fit the VCR. So I look around. I can't find it. My dad had a nightstand that was created out of an old Coca-Cola cooler and like an old bottle, like the thing you would carry old glass milk bottles and it made like a table. Okay. bottles and it made like a table okay so i take the top off of the table and inside the old coca cola cooler is a little tiny tape and i'm like that's gonna be it that's the money tape so i grab the tape and i put it in the larger tape to put it in the vcr to watch it i'm there by myself i'm like fuck it yolo right you have to see your dad fucking. That's weird. Yeah, that's weird, bro.

Hold on. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Your dad let you finish. Don't be a dick. Hold on. So, I put the tape in the bigger tape and I put it in the VCR. And this is the God's

honest truth. I would not lie to you. This is exactly how it happened. The VCR ate the fucking tape. I'm telling you. And I tried to fix it. I was trying to like spool it back in. And I couldn't. So now not only did I not see my stepmom getting whatever she gets from my dad.

Why would you want to see that? Because you're too focused on my dad. But it doesn't matter. Your dad's the one pounding his fucking penis in your fucking cell. Okay, dude, that's way too graphic. That is way too graphic. But let me tell you what happened. So then my dad came home, and I had to explain to him, like, Dad, I got to tell you something.

And I go, Dad, listen, I found this tape. I don't know what's on it, but I tried to watch it, and it was like, and it messed up. It ate the tape. I don't know what's on it, but I tried to watch it and it was like, and it messed up. It ate the tape. I did not see one second of this homemade erotica. So what do you think they did on the tape? Was it just like missionary? Was it like kinky? I don't know. I don't think it was probably, well, I don't know. My dad was in his 30s then, so maybe he was a little

bit wilder. I don't know. Now my dad would just lay on top of someone much like I do and be like, alright, fuck it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Get back to the tape. What did he say? Yeah. Did he believe you? No.

Oh, God, no. He goes, Josh, you're a fucking idiot. You're a goddamn. I know that you tried to watch this. I'm like, Dad, my stepmom was embarrassed, and I was trying to explain, like, I didn't see what was on it. I knew what was probably on it. Your stepmom also slapped the shit out of you a couple times.

My stepmom, and she denies it. My stepmom has slapped me a couple times. She's fantastic. This is my first stepmom, not my second stepmom. My dad's been married thrice. My first stepmom that I lived with throughout middle school, high school, and all that, she slapped my ass right in the fucking face, and she claims

she didn't, but she did, whatever. My current stepmom... Probably. I'm just trying to see if the whatever my current stepmom probably uh but uh but like but she was awesome man she was cool and uh she didn't drive a train what she drove not a trans and what's that like a teeth like a camaro i think she had a camaro remember those camaros where you could take like the windows off the side and it was like a t-top she She kind of had that. That was the kind of car she had. And yeah, that was a real, but like, like this was a real story. I wouldn't make this up. I would not lie to you. My dad, we have nothing, but like there was me and my buddy in the early days of the

internet, me and my best friend, we would go on these, these websites and we would like, like the chat rooms and we would go in them and we would like create fake stories. Like, like, chat rooms, and we would go in them, and we would, like, create fake stories, like, hey, I'm, like, 17, I'm buff, and I play football. What are you, ASL? Everybody knows ASL. So I go, yeah, I'd be like, oh, totally. I was a total fuck. And we'd be like, ASL, and they'd be like, well, I'm 16, whatever.

I'd be like, well, I'm 18, and I play football from my high school, and I'm being recruited by fucking Florida. So how about that? And then, uh, then, then these chicks would like send you all sorts of shit. Then I would start creeping into like the older lady chat rooms. So it'd be like cougars and they'd be like, well, hi, I'm like 45 such and such. And I'm like, well, I'm a, I'm a pup here. I'm 18 and whatever. So me and my buddy would do this all the time. So my dad, one day walks into the room when we're doing this. He wears glasses. He cannot see if he doesn't have his glasses on.

He walks in. Glasses are not on. He walks in. And he, like, squints and looks into the screen at this conversation we're having with this chick, all this horny shit. And he goes, and I shit you not, my dad goes, yeah, Josh, just ask her what kind of panties she's wearing. And then he leaves. And he goes back to bed. And he goes back to fucking bed.

That is a true story. We were talking about some cougar, some like 40-year-old cougar lady. And he's like, yeah, just ask her what kind of panties she's wearing. And then goes back to bed. Hey, I wish I had those reactions. Did I ever tell you guys We had a giant RV in the backyard And all the parents had gone and everything

And the only computer that the house was was in the back And I had a floppy disk of naked ladies Did I ever tell you the story? No, what is this? Get close to the phone, let me hear it, tell the story I mean, it's a simple story I broke into the RV when they were gone I put the floppy disk in, the pictures come up

And I'm going to town. Oh, God. I look to my right, and my pop's standing outside looking stupid. I don't know for how long. She's just staring. She's like, there's disappointment in her face. So she yanks me out of there. By the way, I never got the floppy disk back.

She yanks me out of there. She tells me to pack up my room. I had to move in with one of my sisters. He took the door off the wall so he can stare at me through the living room when he's watching TV. What are you saying? Your dad forced you to move out because you were

beaten off in a trailer? Yeah, yeah. He was like, what are you doing in my trailer? You're like Beavis and Butthead. The guy walks in like, hey, who of them boys that was whacking off in my camper? That's you. Yeah, well, that's not my fault.

You should have had the computer in the house. That's what I brought in. I'm a healthy growing boy. And do you know what the worst was? I don't know if you experienced this growing up. You're a little bit older than I am. But in our day, you couldn't just go to your phone and get erotica on your phone. You had to like find different ways to get it. So my version of erotica was soft core porn or

music videos. Those were the two things that I would be like, all right, this is great. So I would go to like, um, if like a, uh, if a Britney Spears video or a JLo video, video on i would record those on a vhs tape and and i would also record soft core porn from skinamax so like i had a and like one of those eight hour vhs tapes you know and it would have like hot springs hotel and red shoe diaries and emmanuel all that shit but like you would always be worried that your dad would walk in because you're under the blanket and you're doing the shit you got to do, you know, and your dad walks in trying to cover up and shit. You know that he knows what you're doing.

As an adult now, you know that he knew what you were doing, you know, but sometimes he'd give you the decency to be like, oh, I don't know what's going on here. This is wild, you know? Well, not when you're in the pool, apparently. No, no, no. Now we're adults. So we do that. So, but like, does this happen to ladies?

But see, it's funny. Like, I don't know. Like, Denise, I don't remember my parents ever walking in on me masturbating. I didn't know you masturbated. Of course. Oh, boy, I'm turned on now. Guys, did you guys hear? My wife masturbates.

I'm going to retire to the men's room for a second. I'll be right back. Why don't you retire and take your wife? But I never got, like got yelled at by my parents. Like, stop. What are you doing? Well, hold on. Deron, did you ever get walked in on or anything?

Caught? No, I was still good. I never got caught. But, I mean, I got caught with a porn on the family computer. That's about it. That was for the show. Oh, bro. We did the show. Oh, bro. We did this challenge.

Oh, my God. Bro, we did this challenge. I said to Ryan, $1,000 if you can fill up a mail jar with you know what, man juice. Right? When was this?

Tell them the story. Yeah, so it was a challenge and I accepted it because I was thinking, yeah, I can produce a lot of man juice and fill this up. I think he gave me like a month or something. Yeah, he gave me 30 days. Yeah, he gave me 30 days. I was thinking, yeah, I can produce a lot of man juice and fill this up. I think he gave me like a month or something.

Yeah, he gave me 30 days. Yeah, he gave me 30 days. I'm like, easy peasy. And so like the first couple days, I'm going at it. Third day, I'm going at it. Fourth day, I'm getting kind of tired now. And the juice is running low. But anyway, I had to store it because I noticed

it was getting weird. So I had to put it in the brown. Wouldn't it kind of get crusty after like the first day? Yeah, yeah. So I came up with a solution. I put it in the brown. Wouldn't it kind of get crusty after the first day? Yeah. So I came up with a solution. I put it in the brown bag. I wrote on it Durant Food or Science Project. I can't remember. Science Project. How old were you again? How old were you? Let me look at

Sharon's house. Go ahead. Like 25 maybe. Science Project. Science Project. 25. So I put it in the family refrigerator all the way in the back so it can't be reached. But one day my mom came, looked in the bag, pulled it out.

I was like, oh, God, I'm holding it. And she got to me, what is this? And I see my man juice just like flowing around in this bottle while she's shaking. I'm like, oh, mom. That's what I told my mom. I was like, yeah, it's my science project. Please don't touch it.

It smells weird. I thought it was mayonnaise, son. Oh, shit. Oh, God, that's great. Josh loves your mom, by the way, Deron. Oh, I was listening to your mom the other day. She's the fucking coolest Oh yeah thank you

You will love her She's a go getter She likes to have fun Yeah thank you for that She's very cool Well it's not really a compliment to you I don't know what you did to do it All you did was beat off into a paper bag

You monster It was a mayo jar Did you actually fill up the mayo jar? How did this end? No way It was harder than I expected I didn't even get halfway I got probably like

One fourth This was on the radio right? so was this on this was on the radio right this when you guys were on the radio in portland yeah yeah oh that's fucking legendary i can only imagine how that went like played out on the air that's fucking great amazing i didn't have a talking to for that yeah thinking back nowadays the shit would hit the fan but back then i didn't there was no emails or nothing. No shit. No chat about that, nothing. No shit, that's wild.

That's crazy. Was Mark your boss at that point? Yeah, Mark was my boss. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, I got to tell you about the porn with the family computer. We had one computer, and I would download videos, adult videos, but then I'll put the videos within folders, within folders, within folders. So it's like a labyrinth of folders you got to click on to get to the video. Yeah, I know.

The first folder would say new. Like who wants to open up the folder that says new? Probably your dad. No, but you click on that and there's like 10 other folders that are having weird names. Not suspicious at all. Not suspicious at all. But you click on that, and there's like 10 other folders that have these weird names. Not suspicious at all. Not suspicious at all. Yeah, and then the bottom left is like the real one.

So you click on that one. It'll lead you to like 10 more folders. So you click on the right one, and then boom, there's the video jackpot. But anyway, it worked out great for a while until the computer started acting funny. My dad had to call a computer technician guy to come over. So I was kind of weird about that. But as soon as he did his thing, he fixed the computer, he told my dad he found a lot of porn on the computer and that he thinks that he should have a talk to me.

That was the weirdest talk ever. How did it go? Did he indeed have a talk with you? Did he ever have a talk with you? Oh, yeah. I came home. He's running. He's talking to he ever talk with you? Oh, yeah. I came home. He's running.

He's talking to you. I'm like, sure, Dad. What is it? And he's like, so the computer guy fixed everything. I'm like, oh, excellent. I can't wait to get back on it. He's all like, hold on. I need to talk to you about that.

Let me interrupt. Let me ask you this. So did you ever like watch porn on your computer and like that weird message would come across that like the FBI was watching you and they were like, oh my God, like the FBI is going to be at your house in 10 minutes. And you're like, holy shit. And you're like, what do I fucking do? My dad's going to kill me. The fucking, the feds are coming to bust me for watching fucking stepsister porn.

What the fuck am I going to do? Well, I'm going to try to finish before that test finishes. Oh my god. It's going to get real awkward. But did you ever get that? There'd be like an alarm that would go off and be like, oh my god, they're coming to get me. Yes. The first one

scared the shit out of me. I thought I was going to go to jail. But then after a while, I got used to it. After that, I got used to it. I'm like, listen, I ain't going to go to jail. But then after a while, you know, I got used to it. I just kind of found a way to click on it. After that, I got used to it. I'm like, listen, I ain't going to stop. I know this is a lie.

You guys are some lying sacks of shit. But my dad, yeah, he had to talk to me. He sat me down and say, yeah, you're the guy. He found a bunch of videos on there. I was trying to play stupid. I shouldn't have. But I was like, what kind of videos? Right. Porn. He found a bunch of porn. I was like to play stupid. I shouldn't have, but I was like, what kind of video? Right.

Porn. He's trying to put the porn. I was like, oh. See, I never downloaded porn. This is the bottle, by the way, that Denise bought. Oh, Christ, Denise. That looks awful. What are you drinking?

You monster. You're a monster. What is that? I did it. Someone bought it right over, and that's all we got left. Josh is an amateur. He's spending hours trying to get back to that one video when you have a whole folder. You're ready to go.

I take time. More time to do, you know, personal stuff. Yeah, De'Aaron kind of trapped you. He's got the whole folder. I know. I never save porn. I would just kind of, like, scroll. Did you ever, like, so there was one time.

This is somewhat weird, but this whole conversation's weird. So like early in the days of like web chatting with people, I remember my sister had a friend in some random town that found me attractive. She was like, oh, but like your brother's cute, whatever. So one day me and my buddy are on the internet FaceTime, like early, like 2002 FaceTiming. So like, it's like nothing. And this chick's like, hey, I'm going to masturbate for you guys on camera. And I'm like, all right, sounds good. So we watch this.

You can't see anything. It's all pixelated and weird. And we're like, OK, that was lovely. Well, then one day, the next day or whenever she comes back, I'm like, you're going to do that again? She's like, and this is going to be gross, but I'm going to share it with you guys because we're all friends here. Oh, God.

Love it. So she goes, thank you to ryan i appreciate it so she goes one day we're like so you're gonna do this again and she goes no i had to go to the doctor because i have some sort of smelly vaginal discharge and i go i'm like holy shit i never want to see a naked woman ever again ever ever ever like it was really gross but let me share another story with you i know i'm just telling you i didn't do it don't judge me she's the one with the discharge that's why that word weirds me out to this day if i hear the word discharge i feel very sick but anyway so there was another time early in the 2000s, early in kind of like the web shit, you know, the web, the chat rooms and shit. I was in Missouri and I've shared this with my audience before, but not with yours. So, so at one point.

Oh dear. When I was in my, my family lived in Poplar Bluff, Missouri. Okay. And I went to visit one day. I was with my, my grandpa. Who's not actually my grandpa. He's like, he was my step grandpa at one point. That's a weird story in itself.

They got divorced. My grandma did. So he wasn't really my grandpa, but I viewed him as that way because I loved him very much. All right. So one day I'm on this thing called simo.net, southeastmissouri.net, and there was a chat room. So I would get into these chat rooms. I'm probably 16 at the time, 15. I'd get in there and I'd find some chick with a horny name. You had to look for the horniest looking name. If it was just like, hey, I like football in there and I'd find some chick with a horny name. You had to look for the horniest looking name. If it was just like, Hey, I like football 12. You'd be like, no. But if it was like cheer slut 17, you'd be like, yep, I'm coming for you.

So you'd go to cheer slut 17. You go ASL and cheer slut 17 would go like, Hey, well, I'm 17 female from Donovan, Missouri. And I'd be like, Oh, well, I'm 18 male from Poplar bluff. And then you start talking about what you look like and all that shit, you know? Well, at one point the girl goes, Hey, can I have your number? I want to talk to you on the phone. And I'm like, well, this bitch ain't going to call. So I gave her my grandpa's home number. All right. And I'm sitting there like, ain't gonna call 573 blah blah blah blah blah when i shit you not 30 seconds later there was a fucking phone call and i go oh my god like your heart drops it's like one of those movie scenes where it zooms in real tight on your face you're

like oh shit she's calling so the phone rings my grandpa picks up i hear from the top of the stairs hey josh there's a cheer slut 17 on the phone she wants to talk to you i'm like i'm like oh shit i go i'm not here i'm not here and they go oh no josh isn't here that's weird all right we gotta let you go my my grandpa comes i said what the fuck was that shit are you giving people our fucking home number on this weird computer thing i'm like yes i'm so god i'm so sorry i did not mean like like i was never gonna do anything like in my mind i'm just like beating off in my mind to this chick i never knew she'd call and sure enough she fucking called and i'm like i can't talk i can't talk to this chick she thinks i'm like you, you know, fucking, I don't know, like Jonathan Moxon from Varsity Blues. I'm Lance Harbor.

I'm like some stud football player and shit. I'm just some fat, dopey 14-year-old kid that's lying to this chick. She's probably lying to me. And, yeah, back in the early days of the internet, I think we all did really weird shit. The Chris Hansen goldmine days. Oh, totally. We were totally... I miss Chris Hansen so much. We were fucking wackos back then. Yeah.

What a time it was, though. What a time. The internet golden days. Totally the golden days of the internet. Well, I'm glad I was able to share all those weird stories with you. I thought you'd enjoy them. They're very strange.

This is great. Good to talk to y'all. How much more tequila do y'all have? We have a whole damn bunch. Too much? I have way too much. So it all comes down to whether or not the donuts come in. If not, fuck it.

We'll go eat some pizza. I'm trying to order the pizza, but I can't remember the last three digits of my security code. Well, that's a problem. Amazing you get this crap. You have to work tomorrow, right? How do you turn that around? I'm a fucking machine. I don't know why I'm able to do it,

but I think the key is to wake up while you're still semi-drunk. I think that's the key in life. Yeah, but that's the work. In the middle of the show, you're coming down, and you get the headache and stuff. Dude, when I was at 610 in Houston, I was doing mornings. I was the third guy. I have to go look at the card.

You were already at 95.7, and I didn't really know you at the time. I would come up there, and it would be like, I don't know. Like, I was supposed to be there at like 5. I'd roll in at like 6.30. And I would get up there. I'd do an update. I'd be like, hey, the Texans lost. And then, like, in the middle of the the update i would throw up into

a garbage can and then just continue the damn thing like the the amount of times yeah exactly you know i think of these sons of bitches and then i would yak all over the place and be hey you guys what the fuck here you go i don't give there greatest sports update of all time that'd be awesome i was talking about authenticity you know what i thought about sunday back to you and i would throw up a lot during those days because you know we were fucking wackos we'd all go out and do dumb shit you know we were we were young except you pk you were always old but like we were all i don't know what happened one day man you just become the oldest of the bunch and it sucks i'll tell you that much well peak day. You don't know when it happens. You can always be out there. One day, man, you just become the oldest of the bunch and it sucks. I'll tell you that much.

Well, that day will come for all of us at some point. You've already lived it, so you win. It's coming now. Yeah, all right. Yeah. Woo-hoo.

All right. Well, we love you guys. We'll see you. Love you guys. Right back. See you guys. Bye. Bye.

Jeez. Hijinks. Hijinks indeed. Luther looks concerned again. Luther, no, you're fine. I guess I should, I'll end the podcast part of this, so we will say. Well, let's talk about Aqueduct Plumbing. Aqueduct Plumbing Company with Billy and his sister Mary.

They are the best. When it comes to local plumbing there in the Houston area, of course, 281-488-6238. 281-488-6238. Leak detection, re-pipes, camera inspection, plumbing fixtures, water heaters, tankless water heaters, water filters, drain cleaning. They do it all for you, and they are the absolute best. We love them. Of course, Billy's been with us for a long time. They're great folks.

And if your pipes are clogged with whatever they might be clogged with, they're good people to call. So call 281-488-6238, AqueductPlumbingCompany.com. They are at your disposal.