The Josh Innes Show - JIS: Brady, Sex Dreams, Kevin James

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Josh Innes and Jilly open the show discussing a message from one of our listeners. The listener says he had a sexy time dream about Jilly. In the dream Jilly felt guilty about her actions. The gang revisits the story about the Memphis Weatherman. They are both counting down the days until this guy is inevitably canned. Josh and Jilly both feel like the guy is a moron, but the story is being covered unfairly. Tom Brady will be paid $37 million a year to be the lead analyst for Fox upon his retirement. Josh thinks Brady will be mediocre. Josh believes that people don't care about the people broadcasting the games and ponders why these networks continue to pay giant salaries for these guys. Tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of the death of Jerry Stiller. Somehow this leads to a discussion about Kevin James and how he's only funny on "King of Queens". How many other people are only funny on one thing? Josh thinks Chris Paul is a tool. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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toegrips.com. All right. Wait. Oh, toegrips.com. All right, wait. Oh, ToeGrips.com. This is the Josh Ennis Show. Howdy, everybody, and welcome in to the Josh Ennis Show. How are you, Jilly? I'm good.

Better than you. You seem like you're dying today. Yeah, I'm a little tired today. Been on the struggle bus today. Been on the struggle bus the last couple of days. Just tired. Then last night we were up late watching this stupid basketball game. And they really, the Grizzlies really should have won that,

which makes it that much worse. Like, if it was just a blowout, you'd be like, all right, well, they didn't have jaw, is what it is. But no, they should have won that game. They should have definitely won that game. You and I both have been so pissed about this all day. No, it's really had me in a shitty mood. I've been in a shitty mood about that.

I've been tired. It's just been just shit after shit after shit is what's been going on. These basketball games, again, we sound like old man yells at cloud, but these basketball games starting at like 9.15 or if you're on the East Coast, 10.15. It's absurd. It's stupid. I am bitching about it. I never thought I'd be this person.

But I'm bitching about the fact that a basketball game that features a team that is playing in the central time zone starts at like 9.40. That is absurd. People have to work. Now, again, my job is not like a real job, of course. But that's not even a people have to get up at 4.30. That's like a people have to get up at 6, 6.30. Like, that's still very late for an average, you know, jamoke. It is. And it's enraging. I am enraged by it. I don't like it.

Now, tomorrow it's supposed to start at 8.30, which means closer to 9, but... Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that either, and the series is probably going to be over, although somehow they're going to win just to extend this shit is what's going to happen. Well, that'd be fine, because then game six would be on Friday, and then we don't have to worry about getting up the next day. That's also true. I guess it could be worse.

Yeah, we could party that day. I think we could pull that off. I'd be down for that. Well, they've got to win tomorrow first. I know, I'm just saying, we could pull that off. I don't know if Jaws gonna play or not. Who knows, but ah

damn. Anyway, that was a miserable end to that game last night. Our hero returned. Yeah, and Steven Adams balled out like we knew he would. At his rightful place in the starting lineup like he should have for game three. Yeah, and we just got screwed. The coach is a moron. The players are dumb.

And that's a game they should have won. I'm not going to go deep into discussion about the Grizzlies here today. Because you could go all day on this. I could go all day. I'm enraged over all of this. It's got me pissed off. I hate Draymond Green. But I also hate white things, too, just to be clear.

Yeah, you hate Steve Kerr, too. I hate Steve Kerr, so I hate white people. I hate their black guys. I hate their white people. One thing we can get into is the Steve Kerr testing positive for the Rona. Oh yeah. You mean to tell me that just out of the blue, Steve Kerr started wearing a mask again in game three. Cause he didn't wear a mask in the first two games of that series. He wasn't wearing a mask in the first round series. Then magically in game three, he starts wearing a mask when they

play in San Francisco and my first thought was oh I guess in San Francisco they still have to wear masks I guess it was believable yeah but that's not true as it turns out it is not remotely true Steve Kerr just decided to wear a mask in game three why if you want conspiracy theory guy motherfucker knew he had the Rona or at least thought he had symptoms of the Rona so started wearing a mask and they let him coach anyway that goes against everything his type believe he was he could have killed somebody he could have killed somebody's grandma someone's grandma could have died because of Steve Kerr and let's assume that even if that wasn't the case and he was wearing a mask then how could he possibly have gotten the Rona Steve Kerr knowingly killed

a grandma last night. I don't know what grandma it was, but actually two nights ago, three nights ago, whenever it was, I guess that would have been Sunday night. Saturday night. It was Saturday? Yeah. Well, what was last night? Tuesday?

I thought they played a game on Sunday. Yesterday was Monday. Today's Tuesday? Yeah. Holy shit. I thought today was Wednesday. No. Saturday, Steve Kerr killed someone's grandma. That's just? Yeah. Holy shit. I thought today was Wednesday. No. Saturday, Steve Kerr killed someone's grandma.

That's just a fact. There's no disputing that. There's no science to deny it. Steve Kerr being in that arena with the Rona pulling his mask up and down, which he did all throughout the game. That means he knew he had the Rona. Someone's going to die from it that was in that arena, and that blood is on Steve Kerr's hands.

Steve Kerr is a murderer. Take that, Steve Kerr, you putz. You killed someone's grandma. I hope you're happy. Yeah, that was awfully suspicious timing. All right, now let's take a listen here to the talk back and see what people are talking about today. Of course, you can always leave messages on the iHeartRadio app.

All you need to do is find the podcast, search for the Josh Ennis Show. When you find the podcast, hit that little microphone at the top and you can leave us 30-second messages like this person. 6'10 blows, go Strohs. It's the big Strohs twins matchup tonight, although I think Carlos Correa is still out, right? Yeah, so that will mean nothing. Well, that's not fun. So that isn't. But the winning streak is still on the line. Yeah. So there's still the winning streak and they're playing good baseball. And as we talked about the other day,

A.J. Hinch, no matter who the hell the manager is, they're going to win games because they have talent. And Detroit's losing games because they don't have talent. Baseball managers don't matter. Next! Hey, Josh. I went to the Redding Phillies game today and we had a brew fest in the outfield i got myself am drunk game was at 11 a.m they started drinking at 10 it was wonderful

it was a good time we miss you we love you in philly keep doing your stuff love the podcast go birds well hey and i love you too drunk. That's not even day drunk. That is AM drunk, and I like it. That is morning drunk at the minor league baseball game. On a Tuesday. That actually sounds like a great time. It sure does. I think I'd like to be AM drunk at the Redding-Fills game.

I do too. I regret that we're not there with that guy. And I love you, McDougal. Thank you. Hey, guys. Got a story for you. Hope y'all can't decipher who this is, but had a sexual dream about Jilly last night. Woke up, thought it was real, but it was not.

Nothing earth-shattering, but yeah. Had a good time feeling her up, but she felt bad about it. So nothing to worry about Josh. I like how we declive. I thought it was real. It wasn't thought it was real. It was not.

Uh, I hope you guys can't tell who this is by my voice. I cannot. Uh, so I don't know who you are. Your secret is safe. Uh, but, uh, yeah, at least I felt bad about it.'t know who you are. Your secret is safe. But yeah. Well, at least I felt bad about it. Yeah, you felt guilty. Jilly, in the dreams in which she has sex with some guys, she feels guilty about it.

Actually, that's a true thing. Every time I have a dream where you hook up with somebody in a dream, I also in the dream feel guilty about it. Do you? I do. It's weird. Is it like celebrities you hook up with or like people you know? I think it's mostly celebrities. And I don't know why I should feel guilty about it, but I do like in the dream. Cause like you're worried about it in the dream. You're like, I don't want to get caught doing this. You know

what I'm saying? So whether it's a celebrity or whoever it is, sometimes it's just, it's kind of, it's just a generic amalgam, like a bunch of people combined. You don't know who they are. They're just a hot chick, and you don't know why you know them, but you're hooking up with them, then you feel guilty about it. I do, at least, which makes me such a pussy. The only time you can get any action is in the goddamn dream, and then you feel guilty about getting the action in the dream.

Is that why you are half asleep when you try to bang? That's the only time you really try to bang. That could be. That could be part of it. You'll wake up and you're like a zombie, like, oh, I love you so much. Is it because you feel bad? No, I don't think it's because I feel bad. It could be that I'm all revved up because I'm dreaming about boning.

I don't know. I don't know what the issue is, and I've been trying to figure that out, why I want to zombie bone all the time. Yeah, it's only after you fall asleep and usually right when i fall asleep and then you're just very like mushy and very like oh yeah but it's only when you're asleep i don't know why that's the case i can't confirm or deny i just i can't clarify why that is the case i don't know but um but yeah that's how I operate, and I don't know why. All right, one more. Damn knuckle draggers got my Instagram. Mr. Rappalot is no more. All right, well, there you go. Now we know. Did that weatherman lose his job yet?

I'd be shocked if he hasn't. I'm shocked that it's taken this long. And by the way, knuckle-dragger, again, is not on its own a slur. Like, basically, I mean, it's an insult to someone, but it's saying you're a caveman. It's saying you're dope. It doesn't necessarily mean black. However, if you're going to mix that in with talking about a black person, knowing that nobody knows any context,

and people conveniently know nothing anymore. They just play ignorant on most things. If you're going to say anything that has ape or monkey connotation and you can associate it with a black person, you're aiming it at a black person. Friend, you're a fucking moron. It's like Roseanne, who, you know, apparently was all hopped up on Ambien. You know what really sucks? And she did the monkey thing.

Again, this guy is an idiot. Let's be clear. But what really sucks for this local TV weatherman here is like in all these stories on Deadline, for example, it says that he used a racial slur. And then they post, you know, what he wrote. Yeah. But it just says Draymond Green runs his slur mouth.

That makes it even worse. I mean dickish. I've lived that life, by the way. I lived that life with the Jason Kelsey thing. How many websites took the word, which by the way, you can say the word Negro. There is a United Negro College Fund. There is a Negro League Baseball Museum. It is called the Negro League Baseball Museum, right? That is a real thing. The word Negro is said by people. That is reality, right? It is not a word that has not been uttered before, or it's not a word that you would bleep out on television, I don't believe.

We were watching a baseball game the other day. The Cardinals were in Kansas City. The announcer was like, boy, yeah, they were at the Negro League Museum, which is in the outfield here in Kansas City. If you can say it in that context, I can say the fucking word on the radio, too. But whenever the story came out about me and Kelsey, it got the asterisk blocking. It's like in. Well, because I believe. And then blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank.

And I'm like, well, fuck you. That's not what happened. If I recall correctly, Kelsey tweeted it and actually put the asterisk and ended it with like an R. I think he did. Or the number added up differently or something. And that is why I will always fucking hate that chode. Like, I get it.

I like, like, was it a mean thing to say? Sure. Should I have said it? Again, it was in the heat of the moment. I was joking around. Tank found it funny. It was fine. Whatever.

Like, I didn't think anything of it. Like, I thought I was just referencing the movie and whatever. I fucked up. It is what it is. I was fine, whatever. Like I didn't think anything of it. Like I thought I was just referencing the movie and whatever I fucked up. It is what it is. I got suspended, whatever. But for that guy to play such a fucking pity party over it and then to post it and make it seem like I said the actual N word, which a lot of people think I did still like that guy's an asshole. And that's why I will never like him or, or never root for him because I think he's a douche. So I can, it's possible for us both to be douches in this case. I was a douche for doing it fine. But again, it wasn't like it was premeditated. Like I had no idea we were going to have that conversation. There was a stall during

a waiting for the Doug Peterson press conference. I was vamping. I was filling time. Ha ha. I said something that of course the Philly media people and blogs ran with it because they love drama and it, you know, whatever. It fucked me up for a while and it didn't you know make matters easy for me in Philadelphia fine but for you to come out and play victim like I like I assaulted your family at a Mavericks game or something and then put the and then put the dashes and the asterisks in there make it seem like I said you know the the uh the slur of slurs as it were yeah you're a dickhead well in this case too there's not even spaces or asterisks just says parentheses slur like okay i think you could

have printed knuckle dragger but people correct most outlets did yeah but of course you've got the select few that are like said blank slur like okay well now you've left it really open like man that's bullshit like the guy's going to get fired. He's a moron. He should get fired. Real talk, just for being a moron, you should get fired. What are you thinking? You're an idiot.

And we could talk about how cancel culture is what it is and people are out of control and people are just looking to cancel people, but we ain't changing that anytime soon. Maybe Elon Musk, your hero, is going to ride into town on his white horse and say free speech. But at this very moment, speech ain't free for the most part. And there are some things that some people can say that other people can't, and they can get

away with it, and you cannot. White dude on the internet saying knuckle-dragger is not going to go well. We all know that there's nowhere in any definition of knuckle-dragger, whether it be the Urban Dictionary or whatever, that it says it's a racial slur. It's a slur for a caveman. So if you're a caveman, then okay, you're a troglodyte, and fine. But you know how it's going to be taken, and sometimes it's better to just shut the fuck up.

Like, again, I know we talked about this yesterday, but it baffles me that this person looked at that tweet and goes you know what i'm gonna hit send this makes a lot because i told you yesterday because they thought oh boy this will get the reaction i'll be so popular and people don't think that through people don't think through the consequences and what else is funny too is like you know when draymond saw that tweet his eyes lit up he's like yep yep like i bet you he knew that this dude didn't mean to be racist correct but he was like oh boy because draymond's not stupid no he's a very smart guy he's really smart he actually isn't a knuckle dragger he's a very smart uh conniving like you look at him on the

court the way he works the refs and he's a smart player he's a smart dude and like that's the thing is a lot of the people that are the smartest people are the ones who are able to capitalize on this bullshit racism that we deal with the, the, the racial divide, right? Like the smart people. You can just imagine him being like, Ooh, watch this. Well, think about the smart, like Draymond is a very smart dude. Okay. Like he is smart.

Steve Kerr, as much as I hate him, is a smart dude and he knows how to play the game. Clay Travis is making millions of dollars hosting Rush Limbaugh's show and inheriting the biggest audience in radio history because he is a smart dude that's been able to game the game. Clay Travis is making millions of dollars hosting Rush Limbaugh's show and inheriting the biggest audience in radio history because he is a smart dude that's been able to game the system. I've never been able to do it because there's a level of me that's a moron that can't do it. I can't be that level of conniving that's just not in me to be that level of dishonest. I wish I could. If I could be that level of dishonest, I'd still be doing mornings. Hell, I'd be doing afternoons at WIP, probably primed to take over the morning show if I could be that level of dishonest, I'd still be doing mornings. Hell, I'd be doing afternoons at WIP, probably primed to take over the morning show if I could be that level of dishonest. But I don't have that in me

to do that. I'm not patting myself on the back and saying that I'm the greatest person ever. But one thing I can't do is be full of shit. If I could, I'd, again, I'd either still be in Philly or I'd be making tons of cash at 790 and not be talking up Jay Giles records in Nashville. You know what I'm saying? Not that there's anything wrong with that. There isn't, but I'm just saying, you're making, you know, one fourth of what I used to make. Again, if I were a dumbass, if I were a guy that could play that game, I'd be great at it. I don't even think, even if you were the smartest guy like ever and you just played by the rules,

I still think the Rona would have got us at 790. Possibly. You were making too much money. Maybe. But who knows? They cut like 92% of the company. Like, I'm pretty sure. But nobody at $790.

What does that tell you about what they're making? That's true. What does it tell you about what I'm making? I got a job right out of the Rona. It wasn't right out of the Rona, I guess, yeah. I mean, it was still going on. Not in Tennessee, it wasn't. But yeah, this moronon like again i'm not trying to keep hammering this thing i know we talked about it yesterday and and i don't root for people to lose their jobs over words but you

got to know the time and place man like these dudes are looking for excuses to call people racist to draw attention to themselves and the smartest people are the ones that have been able to to game the system and create a world where racism is everywhere. And like, oh, God, I'm outraged by something that's outrage culture. That's what we deal with. That being said, it is amazing that Draymond can truly just scream in these referees faces. And they're all just so scared of him. They are like they will not toss him.

They will not team up. I mean, he made those guys look like asses last night. And they just like, yeah, you're right, Draymond. We're morons. Thanks. But anyway, so what else is going on in the world today? Tom Brady is going to be on TV. People seem to be really into that today. I got a bold prediction. Tom Brady is going to suck on TV just like Drew Brees sucks on TV. And I don't care how much these guys. I think I think Tom has more of a personality than Drew. I maybe. But I think no matter what happens when these guys are made. I think Tom has more of a personality than Drew. Maybe, but I think no matter what happens when these guys get into this platform where they're the face of network

television and they're not going to do anything that's going to be kind of risky, I think they're going to be dull. I think Tom's going to be dull. I think Breeze is dull. I think Romo is overrated. I don't really care who's calling these games because there's nobody that's going to be great anymore. You just can't be. So I don't look at it and go, yeah, this is, this is outstanding. This guy's great. Cause most of them are not. So most of them are overrated or marginal and they're afraid of their own shadow. So people getting all worked up over this and oh my God, Tom Brady's making $25 million a year to be the, the, who gives a shit? It is ridiculous though. Like having never done the job and you're making $375 million over 10 years. I guarantee you he's not doing that job for 10 years.

And who are they pairing him with? I forgot. Yeah. If it's going to be at Fox, it's going to be what Kevin Burkhart. Yeah, I think it's Kevin Burkhart. And Kevin Burkhart is the smarmiest, smuggest looking douche ever. That's going to be, I do not believe that Tom Brady, and I don't want to get too deep into this because I don't think anybody truly gives a shit, but I don't believe that Tom

Brady is going to be successful at that because I don't think there's a level of competition that exists in that that these guys thrive on. Just like coaches, all the best coaches, generally speaking, are guys who weren't great players. Magic Johnson, not a great coach, Hall of Fame, top 10 player possibly of all time. Michael Jordan, not very great at being a general manager or an owner, but Michael Jordan very good at playing, obviously, an all-time legend. But it's the same with announcers. Most of your all-time great analysts are guys who are just kind of marginal guys that, you know, have to build a name for themselves by being kind of wacky. Like John Madden was a great coach,

but don't forget that John Madden only coached about a decade and then disappeared and became TV mad. Most people don't even know the guy was a coach. Like young people know him for video games and TV. And most don't even know him for TV. Most just know him for the video game and didn't know he was a coach. But some of the best analysts are guys that were not all-time great players. I don't believe Tom Brady is going to be a great analyst, just like I don't think Breeze is a great analyst. And I don't care how much money he's making. If they have all this money to set on fire and they think that people are going to tune

into more games because people are going to watch Tom Brady, go for it. Here's the thing. No one's going to be turning into any of these games for who the announcers are. They will turn them on because it's the NFL. They will turn them on because their team is playing. They will turn them on because it's three o'clock on a Sunday and it's the prime time game. And most Sundays you only get three or four games in the afternoon anyway. So that's the game you're going to be stuck with watching. People love the NFL. It could be me and you doing the game and people are not going to turn it off. It could be ZDogg doing the game, and people are not going to turn it off. They'll just mute it if they want to do.

They will watch the game. Or bitch about it on Twitter. Correct. But they're not going to turn off the game if it's a game they want to watch. Right. So I don't understand why networks pay $25 million a year for talent. You talk about all these people hemorrhaging money, and the media business loses money. Then why are you paying Tom Brady $25 million or paying Kevin Burkhart $10 million? Go out there and pay some bums.

People are going to just serviceable guys. Because none of these guys getting paid a ton are that good anyway. So go pay someone that's a notch or two below them. Pay them one eighth, tenth of what you're paying these guys and then make your money back. You keep saying $25 million. Tom's getting $37.5 million per year. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I guess I didn't do the math right. It's the highest paid TV broadcast deal ever.

And I don't think he's going to be good at it. But again, point being in all of this is nobody is turning on a football game or turning off a football game based on the announcer. It's the matchup. It's whether or not the game is close. It's whether or not your team is playing. It's if you're having a party, whatever.

No one gives a shit. Unless it's like quirky, like the Manning cast. Well, yes, but that's not even really announced. It's like if Peyton Manning, I believe this, if Peyton Manning wanted to be an analyst, I think he'd be the kind of guy that could actually be a draw because he's, I find him to be kind of fun and interesting and different and kind of folksy and charming. And he also knows his shit. Correct. Tom Brady is not folksy and charming. Tom Brady is just a handsome guy who I don't find to be all that interesting. He's very good at kind of smarmy, sarcastic social media. I don't know how that translates to television.

I don't think it does. Imagine being the guy, whoever they're going to pair with Burkhart this year then, like, well. Yeah, that's Greg Olson, I think, who's also not's also not good like hey you get this job for a year and then you know who's just moving on down is breeze my god he's boring well he's probably afraid to say anything well i mean considering that he's already been nearly canceled once uh he's got to be very cautious about what he says be critical about any black players. That's for sure. You cannot.

If you're Drew Brees, that's bad news bears, chief. That's not an area that you want to dive too deep into, is it, buddy? Apparently Mike Evans wants to bring the Comets back. Like Mike Evans, the football player? Yep. And he wants to bring back the WNBA team? Well, because the WNBA said they want to expand two more teams, and so people want the Houston Comets back. You know who doesn't want the Houston?BA said they want to expand two more teams. And so people want the Houston Comets back. You know who doesn't want the Houston? And Mike Evans wants to invest and

make it happen. You know who does not want the Houston Comets back? Houston. I have heard not one human. I find it comical that they still hang the banners in the gym. Like they still sit there in the arena. And it's like, like basically it's all the basketball team has is, you know, the two championships with Olajuwon and then all the WNBA championships that nobody truly gives a shit about. Yeah, so that's one possibility is that Houston might, maybe it's in the very early stages, of course. I also like how all these athletes act like they're rich enough

to be, like, big-time pieces of bringing back teams. Like, here in Nashville, Dave Stewart, the former A's pitcher. All we keep hearing about is Dave Stewart has put together a group of billionaires to bring a baseball team to Nashville. But nobody can tell you who the fuck these billionaires are. And nobody can tell you like where Dave Stewart's getting his money because that motherfucker ain't a billionaire. I also like Mike Evans tweet, which just says, bring the Houston comments back.

I love the at WNBA. I'd be interested. You don't love the WNBA. You know who doesn't love the WNBA? Everyone. Nobody loves the WNBA. Like I'm shocked they're expanding. Well, I mean, I guess I'm look, I think it's grown.

If we're being fair about it, there's some level of growth. I mean, it's there are more people interested in it than there were 20 years ago, I guess. And, um, and the NBA is also married to it and they don't want to seem like they're sexist. So they all kind of join in and I'm sure they sell joint, uh, advertising deals with some of them as well. I would assume that's kind of part of it, but yeah, no, thanks. I have no, like, I can't pretend to give a shit about women's sports. Like, and again, this goes back to the part about being real and authentic and being inauthentic about certain things. Like I've learned to just shut up about shit on Twitter.

Doesn't mean that I'm giving you a fake opinion on it. It means I'm giving you no opinion on it on Twitter. So as to not get in trouble for it. I can't feign interest in women's sports. I don't give a shit. I barely care about men's sports. I certainly don't give a shit about women's sports. I mean, you got into the lady soccer for a while.

Okay, that's different. That's World Cup. Like, the World Cup is different. And the lady World Cup was fine. You ordered a jersey. Did I? Yeah, of what's-her-face. I don't think I actually ordered a jersey.

You did. It didn't fit. Oh, was it Alex? jersey. Did I? Yeah, of what's-her-face. I don't think I actually ordered a jersey. You did, and it didn't fit. Oh, was it Alex? Yeah. Alex Morgan? Yeah. But there is a part of it that's also because Alex Morgan is hot and not because they're great at soccer. And that's when I started betting on soccer,

which is one of my favorite things to bet on. So, yeah. Is the Men's World Cup this year? Yes, I think. Whatever. It's weird, isn't it? I think it's in, like, November. Well, whatever.

But, yeah, like, I don't pretend or feign to like women's sports. And I see a lot of my buddies who are sports guys that are like, boy, the women's final four. You don't give a shit. You're a liar. Yeah, the Qatar. You're a lying sack of shit. Qatar World Cup starts in 194 days, 12 hours, and three minutes. Buckle up, bitches.

It's going down uh but um let me see i like clicking on these random things on here actually there was another oh you know what and this is for tomorrow but i'll do it today because i used it for the show in uh in in uh detroit for tomorrow tomorrow marks the two-year anniversary of the death of Jerry Stiller, who is one of the two greatest television characters of all time. That is Arthur Spooner. Sure is. And then, of course, the other greatest television character of all time is Luther Van Damme, as portrayed by Jerry Van Dyke.

Those are the two greatest television characters of all time, and tomorrow is the anniversary of his death which is a very sad time both named jerry both play old men well they don't play old men they are old men but they're legitimately old men is the old man on the show uh correct they're kind of like the second you know level player on there that you know they're that they make the show i mean the show without like kevin Kevin James is fine. Leah Remini's a hot piece, whatever. Their back and forth is fine. If there's no Arthur, there's no show.

If there's no Luther Van Damme, there's no coach. There's the old man comic foil that you need. And those are the old men comic foils who are just spectacular. I love them. And by the way, Jerry Stiller was great in a lot of things. He was on Seinfeld. I couldn't tell you what he was on Seinfeld because I didn't watch it. spectacular i love them and uh and by the way jerry stiller was great in a lot of things like he was on seinfeld i couldn't tell you what he was on seinfeld because i didn't watch it was he george's dad does that sound right george's dad yeah okay i didn't watch it like seinfeld's

not my thing i would take curb all day over that it just doesn't interest me but uh and he was in heavyweights basically anything with ben stiller in it, he was in it, right? So he, oh, what's the one that Tank loves? Oh, the, it was the Ben Stiller one where he marries the chick basically on a whim and it turns out she's a nut. Oh, the heartbreak kid. Tank loves that fucking movie. And Jerry Stiller was in that. Like the best line in the movie is, you know, like Ben's like, well, you know, he kept telling her, she kept telling me to cock her. He's like, when your wife on your honeymoon tells you to cock her, you cock her good.

God damn it. I got distracted because I was, you have this, this show prep site pulled up. Yeah. And speaking of Kevin James. Yes. For some reason it's, it's suggesting audio that says Kevin James on Benny Hanna. This is from his 2018 Netflix special. Why is this? Why?

I don't know why they feel we need. Oh, because it's National Shrimp Day. Okay. So apparently there's a shrimp conversation. I don't like going to the restaurants where the waiters are just too excited to be there. You ever get them? He has everybody feeling tonight. That's why I go to restaurants like benihana i like

benihana because it takes the waiter out of it real yeah it does it's awesome where they cook right in front of you it's good and they give you a little show which they need to update the show i will be honest i don't need to see another smoking onion ring volcano or shrimp in the hat you get shrimp in the hat. You get shrimp in the hat. Hey, shrimp in the hat. What am I, a five-year-old at magic camp? Here's the thing. 353 people played that today. It's got 660 total plays.

Here's the thing. And I hate to say this because meeting Kevin James was a very high point of my life. It was at the Super Bowl Radio Row in 2010. Kevin James is literally only funny in one thing that's it and that is King of Queens his stand-up is not funny he was fine in Hitch with Will Smith and but that was because he was kind of the wacky guy and Will Smith was Mr. Cool whatever that was fine Kevin James is literally only funny on King of Queens. Think of somebody else who's only good in one thing. There's someone I know that you always talk about, and now I'm drawing a blank

on it, but people who are good, you like them in one thing. I only liked Rob Riggle on Holy Moly. Correct. Rob Riggle, hey, thank you for your service, But Rob Riggle is literally not funny in every other thing. He's just basically Rob Riggle. He plays the same kind of obnoxious character. But you watch him on Holy Moly, and the same can be said for what's-his-name that does the play-by-play on Holy Moly as well. Yeah, they both work well on that show, and that's it. That's it, because what's-his-name? Who am I thinking of? The dude that used to do Monday Night Football. Testar. Yeah, Joe Tessitore. Joe Tessitore is so obnoxious on broadcast and not good and wordy and never shuts the hell up.

He's awful as a play-by-play guy. Riggle is obnoxious in most things. The two of them on Holy Moly, very good. They're just certain people who are not good at anything but one thing, and this is an example. Kevin James. Like, I'll finish the payoff.

All he's doing is describing Benny Hanna. I'm waiting for a joke. I've got more shrimp on my plate. Why don't we work on that at the Hanna? Yes, I'm disappointed in the Hanna with the amount of shrimp they give you. And it's all about seat placement. You've got to find the right place to sit. And I chose the wrong one.

You're going to get boned on the shrimp because they start off, they're very excited when they're full of adrenaline and the math skills aren't the greatest. They're just kind of, they turn into like a little Pete Townsend in the beginning, dishing out the shrimp. And you just see the pile dwindling.

You see it just going down. I'm like, he's not even gonna make the turn he's and he's not even being selective in who he gives it to he's giving the same amount to a six foot four man as a as a baby in a high chair getting the same amount of shrimp i know i'm gonna be stuck with two empty tails and like an antenna that's it okay again and i almost feel bad saying anything bad about kevin james because he seems like an extremely affable likable guy that's his biggest trait his best quality is that he's an everyman like when people say oh that's the everyman kevin james is the everyman right like leah remini is not the everyman's wife. She's a hot piece of ass.

Most everymen are Kevin James, though. That's who he is. So I feel bad saying that his shit's not funny, but I've never laughed at anything of his other than King of Queens. And I laughed my ass off. We know that Kevin can NASCAR was awful. Yep. Which I don't remember the name of that actual show now. I think I think it was called, I actually, I don't know. I don't either. It's

the NASCAR show on the Netflix. Kevin can NASCAR is what we called that. Kevin can NASCAR in Queens is what that was called. We tried that. And the only reason we watched multiple episodes is because we were on a flight and it was a longer flight. So I feel like we went through like six episodes of that. Yeah. And then we tried maybe about a month or two ago to start watching Kevin Can Wait because it popped up on Peacock yeah we got through like half an episode then you were like well now I got to see how Lillia Remini ends up on the show then we got through another half episode and we haven't been back and I guess we got that movie was awful the one with all of them together the grown-ups yeah we also tried the Sean Payton show yep not good like I give him credit he keeps finding jobs

because he's affable he's a likable guy like you don't see a negative you don't look at him and say oh god I can't stand to look at this guy what do you think about Paul Blart Paul Blart was cute for what it was it was a kid's movie what about Paul Blart 2 didn't see it but Paul Blart was cute for what it was. It was a kid's movie. What about Paul Blart 2? Didn't see it. But Paul Blart was fine. I have a hard time judging kids' movies the same way you judge adult movies because it's not made for me, right? Paul Blart's a kid movie that has some adult humor, so I can live with that. Grownups felt more like kind of an adult movie that just wasn't funny.

I mean, I think a lot of Adam Sandler shit's not funny. But Adam Sandler's the same way. He's an affable guy that you like. What about I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry? I'm shocked that that movie, they have not burned every print of that. That movie is just walking homophobia. That seems horrible. It is more homophobic than the state of Nebraska.

It's horrible. It's horrible. It's toxic. It can't exist. If you go back and watch it, maybe we should do that this week and just get drunk and watch I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Yeah, let's do that. I mean, it's a different universe. That was 2007.

I think me and Martin went to see that. And people just viewed things a lot differently back then. You watch that now and it's like- I wonder if we can even find it. Is it anywhere streaming? Oh, it is. Oh, yeah. It is. You'll find it. And it might be on Netflix or on Comcast or one of them. Okay, I think it's on Netflix, so we should totally watch it. It's funny because now the Rotten Tomatoes rating for this movie is down to 14%. I imagine it was probably close to that then, too. Critics hated that but like i i watched that and you just look at it in the 2014 context or 2017 con what year is it 2022 yeah this came out in 2007 yeah so that we're

talking about a movie uh that is now about 15 years old yeah it's a different world the the of course that now that is a a a trope that's been used a lot which is like guy pretends to be gay to get something or guy is in drag to get something. This was, I mean, the plot of the movie was that the guy needs insurance. So he and his fireman friend,

they're both firemen. And for insurance purposes, they have to pretend they're married. So one of them can get insurance. So problematic. And so there's that. And then like, it just leads to a bunch of

gay jokes. Made $119 million at the U.S. box office. Well yeah, because that was at the height of Adam Sandler. Right before the Sandler train kind of went off the track. Well now there's the new Adam Sandler one coming out. We were wondering, like, hey, it's been a while since Adam Sandler's released a horrible Netflix

movie. Yep. He's got the new one coming out now that he filmed in Philadelphia. Check out this all-star lineup. All right. It's Adam Sandler. Okay, that's a negative. It's Queen Latifah. That's a super negative.

And it's produced by LeBron. Why is this? And I get that the producer just puts up the money for the movie, but it sounds weird when you've got a mega star like Adam Sandler who's made a billion dollars at the box office, and his movie is being produced by LeBron. For Netflix. For Netflix. It seems weird. And it's about basketball, of course.

That sounds like a piece of shit. It's an hour and 25 minutes. It comes out June 10th, so we can get drunk and make fun of that. I'll give him credit. At least the movie's only an hour and 25 minutes. I think Boban Morjanovic is in this too. Now, remember the Hubie Halloween when that damn thing was like two and a half hours.

God, Hubie Halloween was so bad. Yeah, wasn't good. Jaleel White is also in this. Urkel. Yeah. Oh, Urkel's in this. I mean, I would assume you would think Kevin James would be in it.

I don't see him in the listing, but I said Boban is in this. Like, Boban is everywhere. Maybe Sandler's just decided, you know what, Kevin? It's got to stop, bro. It's over. We can't do this anymore. We can't continue this charade of pretending like you're funny in any other role other

than King of Queens. It's over, bro. And yes, Boban is everywhere. Because he's eight feet tall and has weird features and giant ears and nose. He stands out. so it makes sense i was just trying to google uh what kevin james has coming up but i don't even think there's anything well i mean he just finished the sean payton one maybe he's taking some time off before cbs comes back and says hey we want to do a show where you're okay you're gonna be a we've already done

the cop thing a retired cop we've already done the the delivery guy we're you know what we're gonna do you're gonna be a high school basketball coach and uh your wife is gonna be leah remini you ready sounds good and it'd be called it would have some like like you know box out would be the name of it or some shit like kevin can box out like my going hard in the paint this fall on cbs yeah i don't know what else he can play i mean he was a mall cop he was the ufc school teacher right you know what it would be it would be yeah that was the the here comes the boom yeah basically this tv show would be it would take place somewhere in New York, probably at like a Catholic school, like St. Stanislaus or something like that, or Sacred Heart School. And he's a guy that, here's the story, actually, I've got it. So he used to be, he used to go to school there and

was a relatively successful basketball player, but not good enough to play college or whatever, but had a great high school career at this school. Then went on to do whatever it was his job was going to be. He's a very successful investment banker, hedge fund type of guy. And he's single and he lives the bachelor life because everybody knows that Kevin James just slays pussy, right? He is a hot bachelor. And then one day he finds out that the coach dies or something, right? Like his old coach dies. So he goes back to visit the school and he runs into the one that got away

because the one that got away is a teacher at the school. And she is played by who, Jilly? Leah Remini. She's the teacher. And the guy has to make a decision about whether or not he's going to stay there and see what he can do. And then the decision ends up being made for him because he ends up being audited by the IRS. And as it turns out, he hasn't filed his taxes in four years. And they're going to come get him. So he has to be on the lam, right? So he's one of these dudes that's kind of hiding out at the school. And he says, I'll be the coach because they need a coach because the team is a ragtag bunch of kids

that need guidance because they're a bunch of dopes that don't know how to play and the only guy that can help them is Kevin James. It's already sounding too much like the Sean Payton show. Because remember in that he ends up coaching the kids team and they're just like the ragtag bunch of... Jillian, every Kevin James thing sounds exactly the same.

This is not new. Well I'm aware. You should pitch it to Scotty and us. Dad, I got an idea. I got a great idea for a show. Kevin James will be in Houston on September 23rd if you guys want to have a meetup. Again, I feel bad saying he's so bad

at all these things because I like him. He's affable, but not good. Jilly, and this is not going to matter to most. That show was called The Crew. Okay, the NASCAR one? Yeah. And this is not going to matter to most show was called the crew okay the nascar one yeah and this one's going to be called going hard in the paint or box out or um oh did we have the lane slides of life did we try to watch this one what's that becky the one where he plays like the like there's like the teenager and he's like trying to kill her or something.

Remember that? Like the dark Kevin James movie? We didn't watch it. But we saw the trailer. Ah, yes. Remember this? Like look at the poster. Ah, yes, I do.

Yeah, we didn't watch that one. Maybe we're going to need to. Maybe that's a Saturday party. Yeah, it might have to be. That might be required watching for the members of GIST Nation. Maybe so. This will not matter to most of you because you'll hear this on Wednesday, but we both think that the 76ers win tonight.

And Jilly is taking a parlay of 76ers money line and Embiid to score 35-plus because he is not pleased about not winning the MVP. Nope, he's angry, and an angry Embiid is a fun Embiid. That means shit's going down. He might want to throw in Harden for the assist too, because I think he might just throw it to Joel. So whatever his assists are, do that. You'll probably get plus 2000 or so and then, uh, and you'll be good to go. So, uh, who do I need to tell them about? Craftology by Christy. I was texting with Christy earlier. I was sending her emails back and forth and we're working on the, uh, the new shirt idea, which will be the, what is it? The drink your beer. How am I forgetting my own

slogan that I came up with? Live your life, drink your beer. No, love your dog and drink your beer. Drink beer. So we're coming up with that. That'll be a shirt that you guys can purchase. And I think you guys are going to like that. And it will also help out a small business. And we know that the folks in here love to help out small businesses. Do they not? And why not help out a small business. And we know that the folks in here love to help out small businesses, do they not? And why not help out a small business that's owned by one of the members of GIST Nation? Of course, that's Richard's wife. He, of course, of Metro Ready Mix. But hers is an Etsy store. And of course, you can check out her Instagram. What is the gram for that? It's just Craftology by Christy. It's a C-H-R-I-S-T-Y spelling of Christy. So check that out.

And I think you will like a lot of the stuff. Maybe get some gifts for your lady. If you are a lady, get some gifts for yourself. How about that? But check her stuff out. She's great. And she's going to have this new shirt for us here when we finally come up with a design for it. And I think you guys are going to snatch it up.

Snatch it on up. So Craftology by Christy. Thank you very much. All right, so we're going to get out of here. Did you see, evidently, the mayor of Dallas thinks that they can have an expansion team there? Yeah, that's stupid. That seems really dumb, and I bet Jarrah would not allow that. There's a 0% chance he would let that happen.

That would never, never. They have a hard enough time dealing with the fact that San Antonio wants an NFL team, and Jarrah doesn't want that shit. Neither do the Texans. They don't want another NFL team in Texas. They certainly don't want another NFL team five miles down the road. It's not going to happen. The rumor, by the way, for the Texans

is that they're going to, I believe, host the Chiefs to start the season. Well, they will get bludgeoned by the Chiefs to start the season. The good news for them is the Chiefs tend to start slow, though. Well, there you go. See, look at you. The optimism. Maybe there's a go. See, look at you, the optimism. Maybe there's a chance. Optimism.

Pass it on. Lovey's going to have them turned around. Yes. Our savior, Davis Mills. Yes, that'll do. Actually, let me bring up the thing about Chris Paul. So Chris Paul, of course, got angry because this guy was messing with his family, apparently, at the Mavericks game. And those people have now been banned from the game but apparently it was just some drunk jabroni who was trying to like

get like quote unwanted hugs from the Chris Paul family that's actually somehow worse than like yelling obscenities and like profanities at the family it is but like but what kind of hug was it like you know when you're drunk and you're like, Hey, come on in Texas is a very friendly place when it's true. Like the South is very hug friendly. Like you try to hug somebody up in Philly or New York. I mean, the word homo will be thrown around a lot and someone will get punched in the wife. Right. But in, in you go down to Louisiana, you go down to Texas, you go down to Tennessee. People are nice. They hug each other. They give each other a side hug, full hug, whatever. I can see why, you know, the Chris Paul family would not want to hug this drunk guy. So I understand why they were put off by it. But the way Chris Paul reacted, you would

have thought these people were mugging his family in the stands and they robbed them and stole a person. Stop that man. What it came down to is Chris Paul, who's very dramatic and is a try hard. Chris Paul was getting his ass whipped in that game. Their entire team was. So he took it out on these people who were messing with his family. And, uh, and now those people have been banned from the games forever. Now you could argue that that's fine because again, don't be a belligerent drunk at a sporting event. Like I don't feel sorry for these people. So I'm fine with that to a degree, but the way people made this out, like, oh my God, we've got huge issues with fans in the stands.

And his whole point was, oh, if I go after someone, I'm a bad guy, but people are allowed to fuck with my family and blah, blah, blah. I think sometimes these guys really overreact for the sake of being dramatic. Well, at least it wasn't a racial slur. Well, that's true. The guy was actually being the opposite of racist. He wanted some huggies. He wanted some huggies from a black family. I think it was a white guy. He was a drunk white guy that just wanted some huggies from a nice black family. To me, that shows that we've

made progress. We have progressed as a country. Speaking of that series, who are you rooting for? Because presumably our Grizzlies are going to lose the series. I think I'm rooting for Dallas. So we need someone who's going to beat the Warriors. I like Luka. And I kind of want Chris Paul to lose. Why? I think I dislike him. I think he's kind of a hard on. Gotcha.

And I think I'm rooting. Again, my opinions on these guys change based on the day. I had no problem with Chris Paul until he's acting all hard about this guy like talking to his family, and now I find him obnoxious. And it's kind of funny to watch him lose because he cares so much. Like James Harden,

it doesn't matter one way or the other because he doesn't give a fuck. So if he loses, Harden doesn't give a fuck. If he wins, Harden doesn't give a fuck. Chris Paul, it will ruin his soul if he loses. So there's a part of me that wants him to lose just because of that, because he's a hard-on.

And it was easy to like him in Houston because he played with Harden, and I hate Harden. So it was easy to like him in Houston because he played with Harden, and I hate Harden. So it was easy to be like, I'm a Chris Paul guy, bliggity blue. But Chris Paul's really just a hard-on of a dude, and he's like one of these guys that because he looks like he's trying so hard and he's like Mr. Coaching Dudes on the floor, people think he cares a whole lot, and it's easy to kind of play that role.

It's kind of like we always compare Harden and Russ Westbrook. The reason why Harden doesn't get the same love that Westbrook got, or at least when they were two both in their prime, they didn't get that kind of love, is because Westbrook always looked like he was playing hard, and people reacted to that and said, oh, my God, this guy doesn't have the talent around him. He's playing his ass off.

He's always going 100 miles an hour. Whereas Harden presumably had the talent around him and didn't give 100% and carried himself lazy and didn't give a fuck. That's why people gravitated towards Russ Westbrook. In this case, if you look at Chris Paul, I think Chris Paul's kind of a hard-on. And I don't like that. And speaking of hard-ons, I really hate Mark Cuban. I was going to say, what do you do?

And I really hate the Warriors. I think your hatred of the Warriors, especially now, probably trumps both your hatred of Mark Cuban and Chris Paul. So whoever wins, I'm rooting for them. I'm rooting for whoever wins to beat Golden State because I hate them and I hate Kerr and I hate Draymond. But keep in mind, I also hate white people, Draymond. So don't come at me, bro. I can give you a whole list of white things I hate. So don't come at me with your bullshit.

Thank you. All right. So on that note, we'll get the hell out of here. We'll see you guys tomorrow.