The Josh Innes Show - JIS Classic: 2008 Fastest Hour with Matt Moscona

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

Hi All! This may be the oldest audio I have. This is a segment from 'The Fastest Hour" with Matt and Josh. This is from 2008 I believe. The topic of conversation is stadium sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Saw this story at Deadspin. Tucker Max, who's known for just writing awful, awful stories about the things he's done, did something that I think a lot of SEC football fans would love to do now, or back in their college years would have loved to have done. Here's the story. Tucker Max went to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, actually snuck into Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with a girl and made sweet, sweet love on the goal line of the south end zone right below the goal posts underneath the national championship signs. Now, he says he doesn't care if he gets in trouble for admitting this. He doesn't care if the Gainesville PD puts out a warrant for his arrest. He does not care, but he is proud of the fact that he went onto the turf at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium in the south end zone and made sweet, sweet, sweet love with a woman underneath the goalpost.

And when I read that story, and this is a guy from Kentucky, by the way, so he took great pride. His line was actually one of the greatest lines. He said, last night I did what no other Kentuckian has done in years. I scored at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. But after reading that story, it got me thinking. I know that there are people out there. There are people out there that are LSU fans, that are Florida fans, or Georgia fans, who would give anything to have the opportunity to make the love underneath those goalposts in Tiger Stadium

if they had the opportunity. I'd like to know if there's somebody out there. You can remain anonymous. I'd like to know if anybody out there has actually done it. Do you really want to try to take calls from people? Yeah, we take calls about Michael Vick. I know, but people are, because people can just make this up. That'll make it even better.

That's great. Make it up. That'll make it even better. That's great. Make it up. Get us something to talk about. No, but you hear this kind of story, and you've got to think other people have done it. Other people have gone into a stadium at some point and made love on the goal line, whether it's a player, whether it's someone associated with the university. I mean, have you ever heard a story about anybody doing that? What about in high school?

What are you laughing at? I just looked at the note you put on the bottom of the screen. So, I would like to share the note. However, the FCC would probably have us removed immediately. Before we even got to our next break, we'd be removed. So I want to know, A, if you've ever done this in a stadium. If you ever snuck into Tiger Stadium or a football or baseball or in a basketball arena, which would probably hurt because that's hardwood, and it just would hurt.

But if you've ever done it, I want to know. If you know anybody that's ever done it, I want to know. I can tell you that I have no desire to make love in a football stadium because grass makes me itchy. And that's why I wouldn't want to do it. Now, if there was a blanket, maybe. I'm just waiting for the first caller to bring up, I guess, the obligatory Darren McFadden. We got that wood reference.

It seems like it's going to come from somebody, somewhere. It might be a caller. It might be an emailer. But there will no doubt be a reference to Darren McFadden on the story. It's going to happen. I didn't even think about it. It's going to happen. Maybe it'll be that, well, we all know Darren McFadden

had that wood in Tiger Stadium. I'll save you the trouble from the jerk who's going to call up and say that. Don't even bother. I got that wood, and that's how you pronounce it. It's Arkansas, baby. It's been too long since we played that. Have you ever done it?

Have you ever had the desire to do it? Is this something that you would just die to do? Would you love to be at the goal line, at the 50-yard line, in the eye of the tiger? Would you like to be in the eye of the tiger making sweet, sweet love with your woman? I want to know. I want to know if Tucker Max is doing it. And, again, he's not the greatest guy in the world, but would you want to do it? Would you, Matt?

Uh, no. You've done some crazy stuff. Some, but I would say with this, there's no... Look, none of us lives in a vacuum. If one guy's thought of it, there's bound to be millions of people who have thought of it, and probably thousands who have done it. No, you cannot count me in that number

of people who has even thought that has even become remotely close to allowing that thought to enter my mind. No. Maybe I should be ashamed that I haven't, but no. Okay, I haven't either, and again, grass makes me itchy, so the answer for me is no as well. Let's take a couple calls on this one. Tommy, what's happening?

We include getting a whiskey underneath the leeches at the old Allen Park Stadium or so. Count me in. All right, Tommy. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard. Tommy, go away. Tommy, you are blacklisted.

You can never call again, Tommy. That is gross. Now I can see why he had to. You see, this is why you don't open a topic like this to callers. Because then you get Tommy talking about what Tommy just talked about, and we become Howard Stern. And it's wholly inappropriate. I bet he had a hard time watching them close down Alec Box Stadium

with memories like that. Your greatest memory is the 1997 regional. Tommy's got greater memories in Alec Bach Stadium. Matt is next. What's up? Hey, I don't think I can updo Tommy with that comment. But after the 0-3 championship year, they had some season tickets to sell. And after those season tickets, in order to get those season tickets,

we basically had to spend the night outside the athletic ticket office of the athletic administration building. All right. And the couple next to us, they were from Mobile, Alabama. They were huge Tiger fans. We spoke to them all night. It was a young couple. They snuck off in the middle of the night,

and this was during the time of the construction, the west upper deck. Okay. There was a lot of construction going on. There were a lot of openings into the stadium. Right. We watched them walk into the stadium, and they stayed about, oh, 30, 45 minutes, and they came out, and we knew what they had done. Did you clap?

Yeah, the whole group of us did. We were all sitting on the off. That's the athletic administration bill. We all gave them a big nod and clapped. I just got an email from a friend of mine who asked to remain nameless, which I will, said a mutual friend did the act in Tiger Stadium during Gustav. During a hurricane! I bet you that was pretty exciting.

Chuck, you will close this topic. Thank God. What's up? I wasn't there, but I wish I was. You know, the porno star Stormy, he was running for, you know, against Vitter or was. Yeah.

She claims to have done this, what we're talking about, on the 50-yard line with another woman. Like at Tiger Stadium? Yes. Oh, come on. I wasn't there. Like I said, I wish I was. I mean, Tiger ran.

She got on and then verified it by going on our website. Like 1,000 people were going back and forth to message her. And she claimed she slept on the 50-yard line, and everybody got excited, but with another woman, and of course everybody got even more excited. Well, I can tell you there wasn't much sleeping. How did they not vote for her? How did that not work out? That should have been her whole... The celebration hasn't even happened yet.

It should be her campaign slogan. She hasn't even declared whether or not she's running. I did the nasty in Tiger Stadium. She's busy beating up her husband. Me and another chick did the nasty in Tiger Stadium. Vote for me. That would be a great campaign slogan. Well... So chick did the nasty in Tiger Stadium. Vote for me. That would be a great campaign slogan. So again, that closes out that topic.

Thank God. What Tommy said has scarred me for life. Thank you, Tommy. I may never, never have sex again. I hope Tommy's kids aren't listening because they're probably just mortified right now. I'm mortified right now and I'm 23 years old. And I don't even know Tommy. And I blame myself for this.