The Josh Innes Show - JIS Classic: Augie Garrido DUI Audio

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Texas baseball legend Augie Garrido was popped for a DUI in 2009. This is a bit from my time at The Score 1210 in Baton Rouge. My friend Brian, who is still on air in Baton Rouge, is part of this bit. I used to rule lol. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Back in January, Texas baseball coach Augie Garrido was pulled over and was eventually arrested for DUI. And we've talked about it numerous times on the program. Well, KVUETV, and I thank Stan for emailing me this link, KVUETV, and I think it's a station out of Dallas, has obtained, or pardon me, Austin, has obtained the dashboard camera footage of Augie Garrido being stopped. The first question he was asked by this police officer is, do you know why you were stopped? Do you know why we stopped tonight? No. So you're driving around with no headlights on.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Punky. When did he become Punky Brewster's dad? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So can we get some music for this, Brian?

Do we have any drunk guy music? Any kind of bed that we can play to kind of set the mood for this Augie Garita? All right. Now the next question was the ultimate insult to a guy that's won multiple national championships. How do you pronounce your last name, sir? Garrido. Garrido? Yes, sir.

Now, can you spell that, sir? Now, what's your last name again? Garrido? What is that? Garrido? Number three, he was asked to list all the beverages he had consumed that night. How much have you had to drink tonight? I had four glasses of wine.

Four glasses of wine? Yeah. Okay. Did you stop any place after Eddie B's? Jay Black's. Jay Black's? Yeah. Okay.

Did you have anything to drink while you were at Jay Black's? Yes. Okay. What did you have to drink at Jay Blacks. Jay Blacks? Yeah. Okay, did you have anything to drink while you were at Jay Blacks? Yes. Okay, what did you have to drink at Jay Blacks? Another glass of wine. Augie Garrido's a wino. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is that Garrido?

How do you pronounce your last name? What does that say? Was that Garrido? And then the cop tries his best to bail him out. I guess maybe he figured out that this was the Augie Garrido, the baseball coach at the University of Texas. He does

his best to bail the guy out and Augie hangs himself. This will end my career. What will end your career? If I have a DUI. Why would you have a DWI? No reason. No reason? Why would you have a DWI? No reason. No reason? Why would you, what?

It's like when you ask the chick that you're talking with on the phone or you're texting some girl, and you try to get her to tell you what she's wearing, and then when she's appalled you say, I was kidding, I don't want to, no reason, just asking. Really, Augie, why would you think you'd get a DWI if you're not drunk? No reason. No reason at all.

Alright, finally. Well, no, we've got two more. Then Augie just kind of comes clean and says, you know what? Maybe I am drunk. You're drunk, sir? No, I'm not admitting that, but I'm saying are you going to arrest me? So he starts off by saying, I'm drunk. that, but I'm saying, are you going to arrest me? So he starts off by saying, I'm drunk.

Wait, no, no, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did I say that? I'm drunk. Was that my out loud voice? My bad. Inner monologue. That's my bad. And then Augie, after it's all said and done.

By the way, he was drunk, Brian. I don't know if you knew this. I'm drunk. What were you? Sir, are knew this. I'm drunk. What were you, sir? Are you, are you drunk? I'm drunk. And finally, Augie points the finger at this police officer and says, you know what? You may have ended my career. No, sir. I did not. I did not. I'm not the one that made the choice to drink and drive tonight. All right. Can you give me Jamie Foxx?

Do we have the Jamie Foxx, the alcohol song? There we go. So wait a second, Augie. Wait, so do you know why you were stopped? No. But wait a second. Augie, your headlights are off. Oh, I'm sorry.

Do you know why we stopped tonight? Because you're driving around with no headlights on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. i'm sorry you know why we stopped tonight so you're driving out with no headlights i'm drunk so wait a second augie you seem to be having trouble standing up straight is there any particular reason that you are having trouble standing up straight i just love how the cop tried to bail him out and say, why would you get a DWI? Augie, there's no reason for you to have a DWI. Why would you have a DWI? This will end my career. What will end your career?

If I have a DUI. Why would you have a DWI? No reason. No reason. Just ask it. Hypothetical. Let's say I did have 17 glasses of wine tonight, and you pulled me over for driving without my headlights on.

Is there any reason? Now, Augie, wait a second. Now, that's Garrido. Is that correct, Garrido? Say it directly into the microphone, please. Garrido? Is it Garrido? I don't know.

I'm drunk. I don't know. Anyway, Augie Garrido? I don't know. I'm drunk. I don't know. Anyway, Augie Garrido from KVUE TV. I love how of those soundbites the longest cut is the one where he's actually listing what he had to drink. So I had four glasses of wine here. Did you have anything else after that? About six glasses of wine there.

Are you drunk? Yeah, I'm drunk. Alright, Augie Garrido. Thanks to KVUE TV and Stan, who emailed that to me. Before we get out of here, I do have to tell you about the free... Augie, Augie, are you feeling all right? You look kind of tipsy. You're tipsy. I'm drunk.

You're real pretty. I want to kiss you. He had his Joe Namath moment. Hey officer, I want to kiss you. And he tried so hard to bail Augie out. He wanted to, but the biggest insult to a multiple national champ championship winning coach is how's that gorito what was your name how do you pronounce your last name sir gorito gorito yes sir i think that's a field sobriety test actually if you can pronounce gorito you're sober that no make him spell it yeah uh one more time play the first cut where you know why we stopped tonight so you're driving around with no headlights on. Oh, I'm sorry. It sounds almost condescending, though, doesn't it?

My bad. Oh, I'm so sorry. I wonder if that's how Tony La Russa handled himself when he was pulled over. Well, I guess he wasn't technically pulled over. He was stopped in a red light because he was loaded and he fell asleep. Boy, I needed that today. I haven't cried that hard since I was a little girl.