The Josh Innes Show - JIS Classic: Brock Can Confirm

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

Here is a good one from December 2016. We had listeners call up to ask Brock Osweiler can confirm their beliefs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Let me talk to this person really quick. Bill, what's up? Well, man, now you've got me chewing. Okay, so I'm chewing a freaking Jack in the Box taco. Yeah? Why?

I'm sorry. So, okay, so it's 2.44, or like freaking 2.41 in my time, because my clock on my car is like six minutes past. Why don't you just reset it? Because it's like stupid. It gets me on places on time, right? Okay, so you know you're going to be late, so you set the ice. That's a solid strategy.

That's a solid strategy. I'm going to be late and screw the like authorities who think that they're going to hammer me for being late. So I got to do that, right? Yep. who think that they're going to hammer me for being late, so I've got to do that, right? So I'm like in a very stressful job daily. What do you do? Technical repair on machines that everybody thinks is the most important thing in their business.

So like when they go down. By what? Like explain that to me. For someone who doesn't know, explain that to me. Okay, so like a machine that processes mail for other customers, like the machine breaks, and like all of a sudden I'm losing $8 billion per second. Wow, so you're the guy that fixes that? Yes. You sound like the guy I'd want fixing that.

What's that? You sound like the guy I'd want fixing that. What's that? You sound like the guy I'd want fixing that. Yeah, no. You'll have to hear the rest of the story to understand that. Right. So I got a boss in Dallas. He's a dickhead. Okay.

And you know, so whatever. But my point is, is like that, so I finished my work today and I have to stop at a certain liquor store, pick up some libations and like I'm driving home And I'm going like okay, so what's for lunch? I'm going like you know. I'm gonna do some lunch I'm gonna do like buffet Chinese buffet. I love the Chinese buffet Chinese buffets my favorite Yeah, I was gonna do that so I'm out here in the area of Stafford Sugarland. I'm going like you know what look It's 244 minus six. So it makes it, I don't know, whatever.

Whatever that matter. 238, yeah. I'm going, you know, screw that, Josh is coming around. 3 p.m., I'm not gonna be sitting in a buffet somewhere. I'm gonna go to Jack in the Box to get my six tacos for $3.23. I'm gonna sit in the parking lot. I'm gonna chomp on those bad boys so that I

can catch Josh when he starts. So anyway, I just wanted to share with you the effect that you've had on Houston Radio. Look at that. Look at that. The impact I've had is that because you didn't want to miss the show, you could have had a delicious Chinese buffet. That's right. But instead you said, I'm gonna go to Jack in the Box, get six dollars worth of Jack in the Box tacos, little

sody pop, and I'm gonna listen to the Josh Ennis show at 3 o'clock. Exactly! You got it, man. You the brother. I appreciate it. What time does your clock say right now? It says 3 16. I see. Okay then. Well, Bill, good talking with you, buddy. Spread the word. Cool, bro. Got it. See ya. Dave's not here, man. Dave's not here. What the hell? Dave's not here, man. Dave's not here, man. People on Periscope want to know if that guy was bombed or stoned.

I also like to know what billion dollar stuff he's repairing. Like the post office. Yeah, I'd like to know what exactly it is he does, where he takes the time out of his day to go to Jack in the Box, eat a couple of tacos and listens to the show. But okay then. But we're rocking and rolling here. Glad you're there this afternoon. Let's do this.

So Brock Osweiler spoke today and one of our favorite things to do is listen to the whimsical ramblings of Brock Osweiler and then make fun of it. Because Brock Osweiler is well known on this show as a guy who over explains everything but actually says nothing when he does it. You said somebody compared him to a Disney character? Yes. Somebody said that, like, it was, what you said is this person described Brock Osweiler as a guy who sounds like he's doing Disney promos.

Like coming up next on Disney Channel, that type of thing. Yep. Kind of sounds just whimsical. Like, he doesn't sound stoned. Whimsical, that's a good word. I know, I think it's a great word to describe him. He's just kind of they got this naivete this kind of well He's adult. I mean he's not very sharp and he's whimsical just kind of whimsical Uh-huh, so I haven't heard what Brock had to say today to the media

You've given me a list of Brock Osweiler audio Now one of the things that he talked about earlier in the week was saying that they were three or four plays away in games. So somebody in the media asked Brock Osweiler about those three or four plays and whether or not he could confirm if it was true that they missed just three or four plays and they would have won. As if really anything can prove that. But this is Brock Osweiler today. Yes, that is confirmed.

Without going into too many details it's difficult to explain but you know what I mean by that is we are you know football is the ultimate team sport. Oh so we're gonna start there. We are so close to having all 11 guys being in sync on every single play and I think to be successful in this league. How do you do that? Week in and week out it takes all know. It takes all 11 guys, every single play, to be on the same page. And obviously, we have a lot of young pieces that are contributing and big roles right now that are

constantly learning week in and week out. And like I said, if we could throw up the film right here, and I can have the clicker and walk you guys through, I think you would understand what I'm saying. But because of that, I have so much confidence in what we're capable of doing. Now we need to go out there and do that and make those plays and have all 11 guys be in sync.

But that's what we're striving to do and practice. And I thought we got off to a great start today. I thought the energy was great. I thought the focus was really great. and like I said we're so close to getting all 11 guys moving forward on the same page. I've heard this already and I think when that really happens obviously everybody's going to be able to recognize it and they're going to know what I'm talking about. You have four

games left. It's two-thirds of the season. It's over if it hasn't happened now. It's not going to happen. But what I love is the very... How would I describe his initial answer when they asked him whether or not he could confirm? Uh-huh. Yes, that has been confirmed. Yes, that is confirmed. Like, that sounds like something, like, you know,

a media person goes, There are reports out that President Kennedy is in fact dead. Can you confirm that? Yes, that is confirmed. How can you confirm this? It's impossible to confirm because there's many variables. You could have run a play perfectly against a team and still not have scored or drop the pass or a guy could have caught it. Then fumbled at the one. There's no way to actually confirm whether or not those three or four plays cost to the game. Ain't no way. There's no way to actually confirm whether or not those three or four plays cost you

the game. Ain't no way. There's no way to do that, but it's so good. Yes, that is confirmed. Yes, that is confirmed. That's the shortest thing he's ever said by the way. And then he follows that up with a minute and 10 seconds of describing what an offense has to do to be successful, which he does every single press conference. I see people on Periscope right now commenting. I will say this, that if he has a good four games, I could say that he's the basically rookie of the year. Basically rookie of the year.

He's basically the basically rookie of the year. Can you confirm that? Brock, can you confirm that? Yes, that is confirmed. Can you confirm the reports that Lane Kiffin is going to be the coach at U of H? Yes, that is confirmed. Brock, can you confirm whether or not Brian Erickson called me into his office today to bitch at me?

Yes, that is confirmed. Can you confirm whether or not our listeners should just inundate Brian Erickson with emails and really make his life miserable today? Yes, that is confirmed. Okay, Brock Osweiler has confirmations everywhere. I mean, Brock, you can confirm virtually anything, anything. Can you confirm that Tom Herman lied to his players about whether or not he was leaving to go to Texas?

Yes, that is confirmed. I see, listen, if you need, listen, 713-21-5790, if you need Brock Osweiler to confirm any reports, any questions you may have, 713-212-5790, Brock Osweiler will confirm it for you. Can we confirm, Brock, can I confirm that you'll confirm anything that anyone needs to know? Yes, that is confirmed. So, if you want to call up 713-212-5790 Brock Osweiler has every confirmation you need it can be a question about anything

You just need to ask him and Brock Osweiler will confirm whether or not it's true. Yes, that is confirmed So we'll do that now because somebody said that Brock Osweiler and do you remember where this came from? I don't I saw it on Twitter. I don't remember who it was. I should have wrote it down when I didn't. So somebody said that Brock Osweiler sounds like a guy that does Disney commercials, right? So Brock Osweiler and Disney. So we said, why not put Brock Osweiler in a Disney type moment? Kind of like the Super Bowl stuff when a guy wins the Super Bowl and you get the just like that yeah that when you wish upon a star he's very whimsical and everything he says is very optimistic very hopeful so give me a little a little Brock

Osweiler optimism mixed with some Disney here please Jim And like I said, I feel like we're very close to exploding as an offense and I've been saying that it seems like all season long, but it's true. He's very optimistic. Very. This Brock Osweiler has, he has optimism, he has optimism just pouring out of his ovaries I tell you. And optimism. He's got so much optimism that it borders on optimism I tell you. 713-212-5790, let's see if anybody needs confirmation

from Brock Osweiler. Andy, get confirmation from Brock Osweiler. Yeah, Brock, I just want a confirmation that you will not be accepting your checks anymore after every game that you suck. Yes, that is confirmed. No, I don't think that's true. Now I think he's a Tom Herman level liar.

You know damn good and well he's accepting that check I think these are Tom Herman level liar. You know damn good and well he's accepting that check. See now Brock's a liar. See I always viewed him as kind of a simpleton, kind of a hayseed, but I never viewed him as a liar. But evidently Brock Osweiler is a liar now. All right, Jim, get confirmation from Brock Osweiler. I want to ask Brock if he can confirm I just nailed my math test. Yes that is confirmed. Oh man I'm sorry to hear that. Did you say nailed your math test? I did a confirmation from Brock Osweiler.

He had to turn his radio up there so as to hear himself on the radio. I'm not going to lie sometimes I do that. Sometimes I have the ability to go back and listen pre-delay over the air so I can go in and hear what it sounds like just to see how levels and everything sound. So I know how he feels. Sometimes I just flip over to listen to myself talk and say, boy that sounds good. But really it's something very technical. It is. But I need it. You're a professional. I know, but I need affirmation. Gotcha. But if you need confirmation on anything, Brock Osweiler will give it to you. Jeff, get your confirmation from Brock. Yeah, I wanted to ask Brock Osweiler. I heard some disturbing reports that space aliens had landed in Area 51.

I wanted to know if that was true or not. Yes, that is confirmed. Wow! Brock's like Art Bell! Get out! Wow! This Brock Osweiler knows everything! He's something!

I'm telling you, this Brock Osweiler, he may be a bad quarterback, but this guy has sources, man. This guy has more sources than anybody in Houston. Everybody thinks they've got sources. Somehow Brock Osweiler can confirm virtually anything. People think it's Berman, but no. No, no, no, no. Like there's Berman, but he's below Brock Osweiler. Yes. He can find out anything. All right, let's see here. Charles, you go ahead and get your

confirmation from Brock. Hey, Brock, I just want to confirm that Texans are going to the Super Bowl and Santa Claus is real. Yes, that is confirmed. There you go. There you go. Santa Claus is real. Yep.

Texans are going to the Super Bowl. Again, I think he's lying. I think that's more wishful thinking. Yes. See, I think that's more optimistic, optimistic Brock and speaking of optimistic whimsical Brock Osweiler here's another great whimsical Brock Osweiler Disney moment. We are three, four plays away from changing multiple football games and so because of that I don't think we can get discouraged. Whimsical. He's whimsical.

He's optimistic. See, some may call him kind of a doofus or adult, but oh no. Brock Osweiler is whimsical and optimistic. Bill, get your confirmation from Brock. So yeah, crotch. I mean, Brock, this is Bill. I was like the first caller on the show today with the Jack in the Box take. I was wondering if that call was beneficial to the Josh in the show. Yes, that is confirmed. Let's see here. Chris, get your confirmation from Brock. Hey Brock, can you confirm that my brother has been sleeping

with my wife? Yes, that is confirmed. Oh dude, I'm sorry to hear that, Chris. Awful. Aw, Chris, you know, maybe you should get a second opinion from like a psychic or a magic eight ball. No, Brock is all I need to know. Aw, man, that's tough, man. I'd go home and punch that bitch. I think you should. I mean, with your brother?

With your brother? I meant the brother because I don't advocate hitting women. Of course you don't. All right, let's see here. Dave, go ahead and get your confirmation from Brock I don't want to confirm that Elvis is alive and living on the West End of Galveston and a beach house, please please please please Yes, that is Somebody called John Stamos

Bright light city gonna set my soul gonna set my soul on fire I'm so excited. Me too. Brock has confirmed that Elvis is alive. Kentucky rain keeps pouring down and up ahead's another town that I go walking through. With the rain in my shoes. Rain in my shoes. Rain in my shoes.

Searching for you in the cold Kentucky rain. God, that's my jam. Elvis is alive. That's my jam. Elvis is alive. Yes. Thank you, Brock. Yes.

Thank you. Brock, will Jilly give me good sex tonight? Yes, that is confirmed. Oh! I'm so happy for you. God knows all he does. He's the magic eight Brock. Here we go. Get your confirmation, David. Yeah. Brock, can you confirm if you got rid of that super strain of genital herpes. Yes, that is confirmed. Yes! Brock doesn't have hermes! So happy. He doesn't have hermes!

Woo! I'm excited. Hey, Caleb, get your confirmation from Brock. Brock, can you confirm that the Tennessee Titans will win the ASD South this year? Yes, that is confirmed. Oh, that makes it tough. Yeah, that's embarrassing.

See, now that's depressing. Awkward. Then again, who the hell cares if the Texans win the division? I'd argue winning the division's for the worst. Now let's do two more confirmations and then we'll get out of here. Mike, get your confirmation from Brock. Yeah, Brock, can you confirm that if I buy all of my girlfriend's Christmas gifts, they will all love me?

Yes, that is confirmed. He's got multiple girlfriends, and he deserves it because I can tell he works hard. Yes he does. And since he listens to this show he's a good human. Alright, wrap it up Chris, get your confirmation from Brock. Brock, can you confirm that you like to wear dresses and you are transitioning? Yes, that is confirmed. Oh, wow! Listen, not only do we have a mediocre quarterback, we got a guy that doesn't know what he wants to be. No. He's going to be like Bruce Jenner, just be a guy with fake boobs, a schlong, and a dress. That's it.

He's going to win Person of the Year, Sportsperson of the Year. Do you ever want to win, here's two ways to win this ESPN Sportsperson of the Year, cancer or cut off your penis. Those are the two, actually, technically, he didn't even cut off his penis, right? Not yet. All you have to do is put on a dress. If you're a dude that puts on a dress and talks really you know weird sounding and looks strange you get to be the ESPN person of the year too. So here's your options cancer which is not

a very good option. Nobody wants cancer right? No, no, no. Of course not. Or you're a dude who puts on a dress. Those are your two options. Brock, can you confirm that speculation please? Yes, that is confirmed. Boy, let me tell you something. Confirmations for days, y'all. 713-212-5790, 713-212-5790 if you want to get in. Story at cron.com today about how you should be loving James Harden, and I tend to agree with that. Lots and lots and lots to get into on today's show, including bizarre porn searches in the

state of Texas. Yes, that is confirmed. Brock, is it true that you've looked up mother-son porn? Yes, that is confirmed. Well, that makes two of us. Josh and his show. Stay there.